#feeling a bit sad today...
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Look what we've become.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#Initially I wanted to do a 'Mutiny' quote to follow the 'Luck runs out' quote.#But the musical earworms demanded a different blood to be drawn. And I think it works just as well.#Alright. It's time to confess something. I really struggled with this comic. I didn't want to draw it. Then I didn't want to upload it.#Because I knew I would be here in the tags writing and backspacing for hours trying to articulate my thoughts.#I'm going to talk about death and grief in the tags today so this is your WARNING to look away if you aren't in a headspace for it.#Sometimes in media there are scenes and characters which land on topics so specific to your wounds that it reopens them all over again.#Because here's the truth. When you've known someone like this for nearly your whole life...it doesn't matter how bad the fight is.#You always think 'We'll always have time. One day this dust will settle and we'll rebuild the bridge.'#And then the fucker dies!!! He dies and suddenly there will never ever be time to repair the rift.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. And part of you did just a bit. But love and hate aren't mutually exclusive.#He's fucking dead and you are left with so many broken and unfinished pieces between the two of you.#Jiang Cheng loses Wei Wuxian thinking that WWX thought they hated each other.#He's a younger brother who will one day be older than the person he lost.#Who has no one else in the world who understands those feelings of love and hate and grief.#I can't be normal about this character. I don't think he even heals me. Zero catharsis to be gained here.#I just look at his sour grape ass and think 'shit that's a little too close to home.' JC is my discomfort character.#I'm probably going to regret being this vulnerable in the tags in like. An hour. So. sorry if you see this once and never again.#EDIT: Yeah sorry this took 4 hours to muster the courage to post. Surprise update!#EDIT 2: You guys were being too nice to me on my sad comic to point out the spelling error. I have fixed it now B'*)
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Okay can I be a bitter Anders fan for like. Just 2 minutes here lmao
Cause bioware released some game stats for veilguard and apparently 72% of players redeemed Solas which is like. Okay yeah the game kinda pushes you towards that. But when I think of all the shit I used to have to put up with just for enjoying Anders like at all andā¦
(This is not me being anti-Solas, I do not care if you love or hate him, but I am gonna say what heās done is like. Objectively worse than literally every other companion so lmao. And thatās fine! You can still enjoy him! Iām not saying you canāt and itās important to me that people understand that! Iām just saying he did in fact do objectively morally worse things in game than Anders did and I donāt think thatās really debatable. And I canāt really make my point here without saying that but I do want to make it clear this is not some moral condemnation of Solas enjoyers cause itās not)
Getting anon hate on the regular, being told āoh youāre allowed to like Anders as long as you regularly talk about how much he sucksā, people gleefully describing how much fun they have killing him ON your posts about the fact that you like him, the devs making jokes about shitty fates for him when fans asked innocent questions about him, the absolute audacity of his writer to say half the shit she did in interviews (about bisexuality and mental illness, most critically), and then being beaten over the head again in inquisition about how Anders is the worst character to ever exist and thereās no redemption for terrorists who lie to you one time in the entire game and he deserves death or worse and thatās it
And nowā¦ 72% of people are down to redeem the guy who lies to you for 2 games straight and who did a lot of questionable things that includes creating the fucking blight and. Like. I guess Iām glad that Solas fans can live in a world where they arenāt constantly harassed and can give their ship like. A pretty damn good ending all things considered. And that the devs love Solas and actually give the option for that happy ending and have characters go to bat for Solas throughout the game and the most annoying thing they have to see are people making scrambled egg memes. I would not wish anyone to have to deal with the shit Anders fans had to put up with back then cause it sucked. It really sucked. And Iām glad itās not being repeated with a different character, if nothing else
But like. Man there really is a difference when the writers actually like the character who does the thing, huh
#shut up nerd#anders#Iām sorry itās just. really hard to not be bitter tbh#like the shit we as fans went through#just for liking a damn character#tbf I do actually think if the game came out today perceptions would be different#I think people would be more comfortable with revolutionary action now than they were then#but even still#itās not even about that you know#itās about people (both fans and at times the actual devs) being mean when they really didnāt need to be#and the DA trenches are probably why literally no harassment phases me anymore lmao but#thatās not a good thing slskd itās just a useful consequence I guess#so yeah idk#am I jealous that Solas fans get to have a better experience?#yeah I canāt deny I feel a bit of that#but Iām also just. idk tired and sad for what that time was. and also glad that it seems to be over#but also a little bitter that I had to go through it when it didnāt need to happen at all#idk just feeling a lot here in this chiliās tonight lmao#(why do I say that I donāt think my country even has chiliās)#ANYWAY#dragon age#veilguard spoilers
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"We need to find more performance, I think we've underdelivered in the last three events."
#gah i put that caption there bcs its so sad that hes basically had to say the same thing this whole season#and yet theres really no sign of it getting better#i was happy to see him in the points today and had hope#but then there was so many brake issues#and the car fucking up his back#i dont know how to feel#i hate that he has to put himself under duress like this#but at the same time cant help but admire his constant and consistent resilience#the teams loyalty to him and his loyalty back despite the car failing him#theres something so mentally damaging about seeing him look like hes on the verge of tears after such a terrible day#and then hearing all the cheering in the back. really represents the energy of this race well#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#2024 brazilian gp#2024 brazil gp#we do a little bit of f1
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If you were to like redesign Magneto's classic outfit in a way that both suits the character and your own tastes, how would you redesign it?
uhhhh errrmmmmm i dont know i really couldnt improve upon perfection but i have still tried for you my friend !!!
#xmen#xmen comics#magneto#erik lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#erik magnus lensherr#like ig fc erik there too but only if you squint Generally Speaking this aint about him#snap sketches#i thought this was gonna be a quick thing but then As I Do i sat and thought about it for too long#and for what. my end result isn't that different from the beginning !! tragic .#out of these i think. it MAY be obvious i like the far right one#once i remembered I Do In Fact love megaman i locked in cause everytime i draw Classic Magneto all i think of is megaman#cant even make a magnetman joke that mfer already exists and he from my FAVORITE classic megaman title tyvm#anyway. should i explain my reasoning now. man i guess i can try#i couldnt tho is the thing- at least for the first set i really was just ickin around and seeing what i Might like#evidently it was nothing LMAO i told yall i cant improve perfection ... so i just. Smash Bros'd his classic look#With some tearing on the cape cause i said so ............#at most- with the furthermost right bit- i just wanted to emphasize a feeling of 'power' hence the chunkier boots + gloves#with the first look i tried that angle with showing some arm skin buuuuttt i dont like it ...#i think the sleeveless look really only works if the outfit's black idk i cant explain it#overall the first design i tried just feels too sleek for my liking if i wanted to go for a 'power' approach#i like the 'M' i did with the legs at least. i really wanted to incorporate an M in case it wasnt clear but alas ...#tbh i might steal the boots/gloves/underwear design from myself when i draw classic magneto regularly. SHRUG we'll see#as for now i am very sleepy and i have class in the morning and i want to do some work Before Class#very cool but very sad i dont have my third class today :( its my fave class :( at least i get more time to work#and the more work i get done the more time i get to draw the sillies !!! epic ...#anyways. good night everyone !!!!!!! talk to yall tomorrow ..... probably ... or later ig technically... i should sleep earlier <- wont
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Thinking about Mass Effect, as you do, and how I'm kind of sad that the way it's been engraved in pop culture has more to do with the way internet reacted to it at the time than what the actual game is about. Yes sure, it's about romance (and not that much all things considered) and it's pulpy (but not solely because of hot lady aliens), but it's also intricate worldbuilding that touches on a lot of sharp ideas, and a complicated tug-of-war between a genuine and vulnerable belief in reconciliation and community VS post 9-11 US military propaganda and steadfast belief in heroic exceptionalism, and the melancholic yet energizing mood, and the daring narrative systems, and so so much more than the 'We'll Bang OKs" and the "There's No Shepard Without Vakarian" and the whole ME3 ending situation
It's all there, but I'm sad the impact of the series is often reduced to (what I think is) the least interesting parts of its sum
#mass effect#mass effect meta#and what I'm the MOST sad about#is how bioware internalized a lot of that I think#I think Mass Effect 3 and especially the Citadel DLC suffered from trying to pull itself in the shape of what the fandom expected#it's why I'm so ambivalent about Mordin's seashell bit --which I do find kinda cheap in its attempt at being an obvious crowdpleaser#and it's why a lot of the Citadel DLC jokes don't land as well as they could have for me#AND why I didn't react that well to Andromeda either#which to me forgot a lot of its strong worldbuilding foundations and sincerity#and ended up feeling so very... āliberalā to me --if you can forgive my semi-judgmental wording#as in: gestures at inclusion and would do pronoun rounds probably but will never lift a finger to criticize actual systems of power#it's ānicerā and people are more fun but the colonialist project is never sincerely questioned by the narrative#elon musk-like āgenuisesā are given a god-like aura#species become mostly tired and watered-down versions of their archetypes...#I don't know. I'm sure a lot of people will disagree but yeah I was thinking about this today
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- Spirited -
As @electricdecades once requested, I read Particles & Waves on ao3 and I loved it š„¹ mightāve pussied out halfway cuz it made me so sad (ofc i went back for it) but there you go, I couldnāt not draw them!
#rylan#sad boys#i also just found out that today is Dylans birthday which feels a bit fucked up to post this now but happy birthday!!#the quarry#dylan lenivy#ryan erzahler#the quarry fanart#ghost boy / traumatized survivor#angst#particles and waves#i love them i swear#šboysš#radioheads
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ā¤ļøš§”šššš
Hello OFMD crew, I know this isn't how we wanted to be spending our Pride month but I'm so happy to be spending it with you.
ā¤ļøš§”šššš
#emynn.op#ofmd#a little bit in my feels today#and I'm getting the sense that others are too#we should have been spending this month stalking social media for clues about filming#and I am really sad we don't get to have that kind of excitement again#but I've loved seeing all your posts and your fics and your art and your gifs#even the ones not about OFMD#just seeing all your names on my dash day after day makes everything better#if you haven't heard it recently I'm so glad you're here
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To be clear, I'm not going anywhere. I love this community, and although I'm disappointed seeing how certain things have been handled, I still believe in the objective of QSMP: uniting communities and people from all around the world and breaking down language barriers.
Regardless of what happens next, or whether people choose to step away from the series or not, QSMP gave many content creators and their communities a platform to meet other people and make those first cross-cultural connections and friendships. The positive ripple-effects from that aren't going away anytime soon.
#mod talk#I dunno. I guess the final message here is I'm sorry we're all feeling sad and I'll try to help people as best I can#I think I will still share old clips but I might take a bit of a break today#I'm happy to hear your guys' feedback and thoughts though!#I want to hear how certain CCs respond before I decide on sharing new clips
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wears off in a month or so
#a doodley#talkys#as soon as i saved a single screenshot of silco from twitter it was over for me#it rly is mainly that and the ''gets overwhelmed seeing or thinking abt them and has to physically get that out somehow#or put pressure on the face or cover the eyes in shame etc''#i just added the 3rd bc just the 2 seemed so lonely#today i had to slam pause on that scene where silco lights the cigar in his mouth because i got so (embarrassed?) and hide in my hands#for a bit i rly dont know what this is#i still have my ken folder i have to delete it bc its never going to have that insane intensity again ykwim#like i dont think ill draw him again#so sad that silco is fated to this too...i wish i could actually hold onto stuff like this instead of burning through the Big Feelings#really really quickly#this is why im an oc and Drawings of Myself artist lmaooo i wish i could do fandom/fanart stuff beyond just Here's a Portrait/Bust/#Character Standing There/(god forbid) Selfship#tho tbf thats all i draw of my ocs too...#alas!
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To the like 3 people who follow me for hnk I finally drew them again. š they are so dear to me š when will th new chapter come out pls
š¤I was thinking about cairn and phos when phos lost that long luscious hair š¤¬high ponytail was elite
#phos hnk#i love phos so much#i love phosphophyllite from hnk so much#cairngorm i love cairngorm#cairnphos#i love cairngorm#houseki no kuni#land of the lustrous#hnk#lotl#hnk spoilers#i feel like cairn would feel a bit sad at least after phos lost some of Lapisās hair yk? Like thatās more of Lapis lost#more of their memory gone#poor cairn#Today I listened to replay by iyaz on loop for over 40 minutes#Todays good shall be erm peppermint Oreo
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The Hunger Games: Mockingjay ā Part 1 (2014) dir.Ā Francis Lawrence
#the hunger games trilogy#mockingjay part 1#filmedit#thgedit#mine#fyeahmovies#dailyflicks#userstream#userbbelcher#usersugar#userpayton#userlj#userkd#userairam#userlex#underbetelgeuse#i was gonna gif something a bit more sad#but i just finished rewatching the movies and i'm still feeling emotional#so let's have a silly little gifset for today <3
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some people in this fandom are going to be really disappointed when winds of winter comes out.
you guys. you cannot treat the POV characters as stepping stones for other characters/other POV characters.
the POV characters must have a fitting end according to their character arcs, themes, foreshadowing, etc.
to clarify, the POV characters chapters are about THEM. their storylines are about THEIR journey. you cannot use their hundreds of pages of character development as a brick to build the castle your fav will live in.
this is especially true for the key 5 and for the other younger POV characters. their endings have everything to do with them, they do not revolve around your fav.
us readers out-of-universe reasons for wanting x or y characters deaths does not matter. what actually matters is if you can support your theories with textual evidence from the chapters of the POV character that you want dead.
#i dont think thereās anything in the books that supports a theory of a member of the key 5 dying permanently#i think you could make a case for dany temporarily dying like jon for her third death and rebirth. but thatās it.#maybe winds of winter will set up the permanent death of one of the younger POV characters.#but so far thereās really not enough evidence to be sure of x or y characters deaths#and if you want their deaths based on āfeelsā or due to unobjective reasons then iām afraid that you will be unhappy#wanting a marginalized characters death especially as theyāre igniting hope/recovering from abuse/trying to make change is very gross#i want to say that i totally understand what itās like to be put off from a character due to that characters fandom#(happened to me with the sansa stans on here. theyāre real nasty)#but the best thing to do is to distance yourself from that portion of the fandom and to try to not let your hate color ur opinion#iām acting kinda self righteous sorry guys š#just a bit sad cause iām seeing a lot of jon hate today <\3#asoiaf fandom critical#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire
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From "Punisher: The Prize"
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#[through gritted teeth and teary-eyed] at least im getting some good frank characterization out of this#i wish i could be like this cuz it just hurts to read this bit (i mean it does) but unfortunately#more than anything i feel sickening jealousy because there are mental problems happening#anyway. attempting to do something timeworthy here#the start of this issue has him going 'ough love is weak and im not sad about what happened at all actually'#but its in a statement to the police supposedly#which i mean even without this part tells you this man is lying out his ass#hes got a reputation to uphold but like clearly this guy is miserable. if that wasnt obvious before somehow lmaooo#cant do this very well today. you see it. you get it. good bit#is that how you format the title idk dont ask me anything
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2023 United States Grand Prix - Sprint - Fernando Alonso
#making these as cope for the mental damage i received today#I HATE THIS OLD MAN!! STOP MAKING ME SAD!!!#and also stop looking so fucking sexy while you're depressed god damn#ASTONNNNNN FIX YOUR CAR!!!!#my fav moment of this wknd actutally was when my dad(known fernando stan) texted me after quali:#'they brought upgrades? more like fucking downgrades.'#im havinf fun dw!!! it just sucks a lot that my guy isnt doing well :(#killing myself out in the heat and my guy isnt even in the top 10 UGHHHHHHHHH#also guys the america hat is so ugly and expensive...but i kinda want it...should i buy it#i need to buy some nando or osc merch to feel fufilled this wknd hahaha so lmk :)#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#2023 us gp#2023 us grand prix#2023 united states grand prix#223 united states gp#fa14#we do a little bit of f1
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to love someone is to heal someone
#~ art#š memoryshipping#ignore tags if youre just here for the art and not me going full diary mode#anyways ... this is a little personal to me#especially with how i treat her here. i think this is a direct projection of how i'm feeling right now#today has been a little harsh on me - maybe a little painful even#i'm okay now - because i resolved it. albeit harboring some bits of anger to it but its not worth fighting about anymore#its hard to say that i'm - very optimistic so to speak because it's only one pillar i just jumped over and there will be more later#and this is me coping with it and im lucky to have mustered some energy to at least express it through drawing#i havent been drawing much for myself and it makes me sad because its my source of happiness#my time for drawing is being repurposed for other stuff right now and it still is and i dont feel entirely happy doing it unfortunately#i still have many things i want to follow up on my drawing list especially in my recent interests peaking again#but i resorted for now to making something im already used to. stevaide lol fgsjsddsjjsdjkghsdjgdjkhskjghshsgsasjhjsjksdjfhsfasgs corny ass#rest assured im at a somewhat relaxed state right now. throwing boops here and there calmed me down because theres people around me#who ig thinks im cool eajdhajhd#ahh anyway
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kdj trying to kill himself after seeing the OD is such a visceral and gut wrenching part of the bookā
āSomething was wrong. A bladeā¦ I, I needed to find a blade.ā <- this scene (chapter 515) actually broke my heart, i genuinely felt sick reading it. heās so desperate to die that itās honestly palpable, itās like finally seeing that truth behind the snarky mask kim dokja always wears. it took me until this point to realize that every time he tried to sacrifice himself for his companions, it wasnāt just a well thought out plan but a true, genuine suicidality and the acceptance that he might not come back. that he isnāt worthy of living a good, happy life with a happy ending. (which maybe iām just slow, but i really fell for dokjaās lies, every single time i thought to myself āeverythingās going to be fine because he has a plan to survive this,ā and almost every single time i was right. except for the end i suppose.)
and fuck, it hits so, so hard.
#tw suicide#like i know thats already a big theme in the book but in this case i feel the need to very explicitly tag that#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv spoilers#kim dokja#the oldest dream#i wasnt planning on writing a sad post today but alas.#āare orv fans allergic to being happyā yes sorry#dont go into my replies like āyouāre thinking too deep about thisā or whatever#i know i am!! i know its probably not that deep#i know that he probably did see himself having a happy ending probably#but when i think about his character#and when i think about his actions#i cant help but see a bit of that sort of undercurrent of āi donāt belongā#that sort of undercurrent of āi want to dieā#his character feels relatable to me#take that statement as you will i guess#not that ive sacrificed my life for anyone#lol#but that passive sort of way he approaches the topic#all jokes and smiles and such??#and other people are like āuhm. no i think you need help.ā and he cant see it#thats so????#he needs therapy#*i* need therapy#sorry for traumadumping in main orv tag LOL#feel free to get mad at me in replies i understand#this could be a total mischaracterization of kdj#probably is tee bee atche but OH WELL. also i hit tag limit oops. 30 tags is the limit apparently
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