#feel real guilty about not getting a project done In Time bc of my work nonsense

[cassynite]

tentatively scheduled park time for myself and will now attempt to force happiness back into my bones over the weekend

[mattstrahm]

got thoughts on things so this is a sort of journal entry about it all under read more. mostly just kind of self reflection.

first thing is i get that in fandom spaces people who create things, be that art, fic, gifs, etc. seem really intimidating and scary, and i get that i really haven't helped myself with that in the way i post. i wish there was an easier way to let people know i'm genuinely just awfully awkward when i start talking to them for the first time, and i know that awkwardness comes off as flippant, i do not mean it to. i just don't know how to talk to strangers. i wish there was an easier and more casual way to do it, honestly, than tumblr posts and asks because it's such a clunky way of communication. and the tumblr chat feels so incredibly personal doesn't it? sucks to be getting a bad grade in fandom community communication because i'm just bad at communication overall lmao. there's people i wish i knew how to talk to, like there's a whole sharksblr out there but i'm scared to death of talking to them bc they seem so close knit and i don't wanna seem....???? like im intruding ???? i dont know.

second thing is about writing and how i wish i wasn't so insecure about the things i make. i wish i could just work on projects the way i want to work on them and make them what kind of want them to be, but i'm already backing myself into a corner and i don't want the audience of my writing to box me into it. i don't wanna be a one trick pony. i don't wanna write one thing, the same thing, and only that thing, you know? i want to exhibit the variety i know i'm capable of and i want the things i write to be viewed as the separate things i create them as. like remove the fact that i wrote them all from the equation, which i know isn't possible but i kind of wish it was, without actually posting on anon. which i've also done... specifically to separate myself from the end product, not because i don't like it, or i'm not proud of it, but because i want it to stand on it's own. a lot of my buddies know about anon works i've written, they're not secrets, they're just disconnected.

third is a shorter thought about letting things be. i'm trying very hard to argue less. leave people who know better to make their mistakes, it's on their conscience not mine. and then also let people who don't know better to live and learn, it's their journey not mine. i can be extra patient with kids even if i don't like them. i can let teenagers make the mistakes online we were making as teenagers. i can let it all happen.

i guess this sort of also reflects the recent james somerton updates (this is a turn, i know) about how he faked his suicide and went on pretending to be someone else, and no i never believed he actually committed suicide, it's a real textbook online narcissist move, i've seen it dozens of times but... i saw people talk about how there's people who felt guilty about the death that didn't even happen and i feel like there's a lot of this sentiment online where other people's thoughts, actions and wellbeing are somehow on you as an internet user and they're really not. like even if these people somehow participated in the shit talking of that man, that doesn't make them responsible. everyone's actions are their own and if you fail to curate your online spaces to an extent that they make you feel bad, actively, you should log off probably. this whole point feels really disjointed. what the fuck ever. i don't really want replies to any of this btw. i'm going to bed :)

[debtsunpaid]

i'm still going apeshit over my new guy while i write their backstory but i'm being a perfectionist about it, so in the meantime here's a few lil things about klavier:

formerly an astrophysicist working for the ESA (and one-time astronaut, but that wasn't always the plan). their colleagues remember him best for their mental math prowess, his ferocity in advocating for their team & their project, the six separate times he almost knocked himself out on the wing of their own spaceplane, and the very, very formal weekly dinners they hosted that no one ever expected to be that formal bc he brought them up like inviting friends over to watch the game on sunday.

re: the dinners: they love to cook for people. love it. very picky about the process and doesn't often like other people helping them (he takes hosting and courtesy towards houseguests very seriously), but doesn't mind people watching or taste-testing. he doesn't do it as much these days, because all the joy was really in the social aspect & he considers themself too dangerous to get close enough to people to invite them over, but they'll still pull out absolutely flawless cutting technique when applicable.

met their fiancée (magdalena) in university bc he was arguing with a professor in the law library where she worked. she came over to tell them to shut the fuck up, and he jumped so badly that she felt guilty later & went back over to apologize, to which he Also apologized & suggested that hitting him with one of the heavier books would have been equally effective. they started talking about each other's work & majors, were going to part ways when the library closed, then awkwardly ended up walking the same way home. to the same apartment complex. for a while after that, whenever klavier went to the library while magdalena was working, she'd catch his eye and pretend to line up a shot with the heaviest book she had on hand, which always made them laugh.

currently a drifting adjunct professor & substitute teacher, as well as an occasional german, spanish, & math tutor. he tends to focus more on teaching/talking about mathematics these days rather than astrophysics, though they've done a few physics lectures here and there; if asked why, they'd say it's because he's still hiding from the german government + MI-6 and it's smarter to avoid being found within his field of expertise. but really it's because the last time they knew what was real & what wasn't was in 1990, the world's ideas about the cosmos have changed drastically since then, and he no longer feels like an expert in anything, or like he even knows the world they're standing on, let alone any worlds elsewhere.

CLIFF NOTES ON THE GOD PROBLEM: klavier was psychically bonded with jallakuntilliokan during his first (and only) spaceflight on the spaceplane hermes because their orbit put them Directly over the geotroniks facility where the magi caecus were firing the fear machine, at the exact moment when john constantine, zed, and marj were completing their ritual to summon its anima (other godly half) and negate its intended damaging influence on the world. but while the beings themselves balanced out, the summoning rituals did not (pagan nation involved 3 people, geotroniks involved 2), and they could not co-exist unevenly in the world, so jallakuntilliokan had to draw on more psychic energy in order to even things out.

luckily for jalla, there was a spaceplane with 3 powerful potential psychics perfectly aligned with the ley lines that it drew its power from, courtesy of string-pulling and secret testing led by the UK magi caecus and klavier's own mother for over a year prior. it was a flimsy backup plan based on the (so they thought) astronomically slim chance the summoning would fail, with the intention that the spaceplane would be intentionally crashed into the facility and some poor suckers would be sacrificed for enough psychic potential + public shock & alarm to rev the fear engine all the way up to its purpose. they just didn't count on jallakuntilliokan sniffing out the supply first.

the other two astronauts were fried, but klavi survived; the burst severely damaged the hermes and it crashed back to earth, veering off course and hitting the baltic sea. all klavier remembers is the burst, seeing his colleagues burn out, the agonizing sensation of something segmenting their brain like an orange, and then being dragged out of the ocean later. he was then secretly held by the german government for three years in the hopes of determining what the fuck had happened & what was now wrong with him, until jallakuntilliokan shoved their consciousness into the Dreaming long enough to take hold of the body and bust out. he's been on the run ever since, all but convinced there's an alien living in his skull, unaware that he's playing host to a god.

[fantasticcloudcreation]

Lil rant about goals and future plans 😇

Ok so I've been here for a week and it's been a really nice time visiting family and I'm grateful to be living this life that gives me all this free time and opportunity to do whatever I want, back when I had an apartment and a "real job" I could only visit my family for holidays and it never felt like enough, but now I get like any significant time off work and I feel guilty if I'm not spending it with my family, even though there's other things I want to be doing... (Like what? Camping alone in the woods? /Kinda but there's always time for that between gigs etc) - enjoy this time and relax about it. Just feeling antsy bc I've been here a week and I'm kinda feeling like I might need to get out and go somewhere, but where, idk. I still need to visit my brother and my grandparents, I desperately need to clean the van, gotta make a mechanic appointment for next week, etc.

Also feeling antsy about going back to work which is hilarious bc like March, April, May, had barely any days off work besides driving all day traveling between gigs; was begging the universe to give me some time off to relax and vibe and whatever and now here I am with 2 months straight which was unexpected and I'm still kinda salty about it haha. But I'm one month down, one month to go, maybe I should be using the time a little better... I mean I'm working on projects which are mostly done, and I think next week I'll take care of the van things (cleaning, organizing, mechanic) and then D will be coming to visit so I'll either be here where he can meet my dad or I'll be at my brother's where we'll have more space/privacy to ourselves; we'll see!

I think the main thing is, I gotta get focused on my goals. What exactly are my goals?? I'm feeling a super lack of confidence lately and it's hard to know how to direct my energy right now. (I say that as if it's ever been different in my entire life lmao.) Usually I just focus on losing weight as if that'll somehow magically get my life in order Oh Yeah I'm Doing That Right Now 😅

Thinking ahead: July is free. August should be at least half filled if all goes well, and then some time to explore/camp in the northeast where it hopefully won't be too hot. September?? Who knows, but making my way towards Texas. October will have work in Texas, November December January should be full of work in Florida. So this is like my last solid free month and I should be getting my van situated, getting my business off the ground, working on my confidence and organization and planning and whatnot. I've been dilly dallying on that bc I lack the confidence and it's easier to avoid everything than to try something new, but it feels so good once you get past that and get started !!!

Maybe I'll lose 10 pounds and cut my hair and start wearing makeup again and get my clothes worked out where they all look cool/good/not like a hobo dad lolol. Maybe that'll give me confidence. Maybe it's time to reinvent my image and personality and break up with this guy I've been low-key ghosting and start putting effort into myself again. Maybe I need to focus on spirituality and prioritize wellness (how boring). Maybe I need to dive into a new skill and get really good at it over the next couple years. Who knows!!!!

I want to build things and paint things and make fun wearable crafts and make YouTube videos with my own music and vibes. I have enough work to pay the bills, if a side business can make enough money just to buy supplies to keep itself going, that's all I need. I want to go out west again, maybe I'll do that in February. Maybe I'll upgrade to an RV. The point: I have ideas and dreams and goals and this is my time to start working on them while I have the space. I have 4 weeks left....... I have money in the bank to get these things started. Make a plan, one step at a time, check things off the list. Clean the van and get it back in shape to start fresh this season. Call that guy and tell him it's not working right now. Stop avoiding. Relax and enjoy the ride!!!! Be grateful for this space and time with my dad. Use this time to your advantage, ask for help with business planning.

Tomorrow I'm going to paint my lil pottery pieces from the garden clay, they didn't turn out great but I have another batch that I'm trying a different process and we'll see how it goes, it's a fun experiment and at the very least I'm gonna make some decorative charms for myself to remind myself that it's fun to make things and try new things just for the heck of it :)

Priorities: exercise, taking care of the van, getting the business first steps rolling. 4 weeks left until the next chapter launches! Stop wasting days! (No days have been wasted but you know what I mean). Stop avoiding and start living.

Above all: life is really good!!! I'm so glad and grateful that I created this life for myself, imagine 3 years from now when my business is rolling and work is flowing and things are just like this except 10 steps better! Plant the seeds now and let the trees grow and in 5 years we'll have plenty of shade!!! Reminding myself that I've been dreaming about all these things for years and it's time to start working towards them. Reminding myself of where I was 3 years ago and how far I've come. Everything is working out, literally, and this is just the next step. What's the motivation? (PLJBF). Living a full and fun life. Feeling good about myself when people ask "what do you do"/"where do you live" ; offering gifts to the world for the sake of the process. Embracing the challenge, trying something new, giving myself the space to see what happens when I actually put myself out there. Is it an ego thing? Maybe. Is it for the sake of the challenge? A little bit. Is it just another girl in pursuit of happiness and a life on her own terms? Absolutely. There are many ways to show up in the world and I'm ready to be a confident independent strong smart capable leader. I'm ready to actually try and succeed. I am good enough and I know I can do it, getting started is the hardest part, staying focused and organized is the second hardest part, I know I can work with those challenges and make something happen. Let it flow. Relax. First: I'm here and I'm grateful and I'm ready to make the most of it.

Thank you, I love you ❤️

[milqueandsugar]

Hello I finally got enough courage to request smth! I saw that you did some hcs on how they would react to their crush getting rlly cuddly and sweet when thier tired? I was wondering if you could do C!Philza, C!Technoblade and C!Quackity one as well?

(Maybe make the philza one extra fluffy bc I'm a simp for his C!phiza) 👉👈

🏵 Your Tea Is Ready 🏵

Warnings: Slight nsfw mention

Genre: Fluff

| Philza |

He loved building with you, any project you may come to him with expect him to be on it

So when you came to him asking to help repair some creeper damage to your home he was happy to help

However as the day dragged on it ended up being much more work then you originally expected

Between repairs and gathering materials by the time your house was back to its original condition the two of you were exhausted

Philza had been packing up to leave but you felt so guilty sending him home after all that hard work

"Hey, Phil, you could stay the night if you'd like? I'd feel bad sending you home so late"

"Don't worry about it Angel, I'd hate to over stay my welcome"

"Don't worry about it, besides I was having fun with you!"

He couldn't hide the happy grin that came to his face as you invited him inside

His grin only grew even bigger as he noticed how affectionate you were being

He's seen you clingy before, but he never seen you so touchy

The two of you were lounging around on your couch when he really began to notice

Laying in his lap, playing with the loose feathers in his wings, running your fingers through his hair, he's unbelievably joyful

Words cant describe how he felt waking up on the couch to you in his arms, he wished he could wake up like that every morning

| Technoblade |

Cuddles? Clingyness? Yes, give him all of it

You and Techno needed to go nether wart gathering

And it went tits up pretty quickly

Barely getting out of the nether alive, let alone with any netherite at all

It was safe to assume you were done for the night

Tour legs hurt from running, you were sweaty, you were short of breath

You just wanted to go to sleep

Flopping into a near by snowbank the piglin approached to check you over for injuries, foolishly falling into your trap

Catching him by the end of his Cape you pull him into the snow next to you

The snow began to melt almost instantly from the piglins warmth

With no energy to stop you he merely laid there, letting out a few happy piglin noises as you shifted to hold his arm

" I'm beginning to understand the whole arctic thing"

"Not a fan of the nether, eh?"

"To put it nicely, your the only good thing that's come out of it"

No matter how hard he tried he couldn't deny the smile on his face as the two of you rested in the snow

Your head on his shoulder, drawing imaginary shapes on his chest

If domestic bliss was real then the pig was certainly feeling it

| Quackity |

Lazy mornings was tour guys go to

Not in the usual way however

Despite how much Quackity wanted to you didn't live together, you did however get breakfast together

After all he was working for Schlatt, it was unlikely you'd see your friend any other part of the day

The two of you were sat in Niki's bakery, coffee cups and a muffin split between you on the table

Sitting at the bar you didnt have the energy to not fall back, why didnt these stools have backs to them??

Noticing you were getting dangerously close to wiping out he quickly wraps a protective arm around your waist

"Tired hermosa/hermoso?"

"Yeah and hung over"

He laughs at your pain, which you don't find very funny

You begrudgingly rest your head on his shoulder, closing your eyes and enjoying the moment of rest

Niki comes around to take your trash but his quickly hushed by Quackity

"A few more minuets"

Nodding she slinks away and watches the two of you with fond eyes, she wished her crush was like that :/

[ingo-ingoing-ingone]

Hey there,

I'm here to formally apologize and say thanks

What am I apologizing for? For not yet having given a proper comment on the amazing fanfics you've wrote so far. I left somewhat of a comment on Waywardstations Blog (and I'm happy you've managed to see it) but I think you deserve a proper one. Very often I just lack the time to sit down and write a comment. I know a sweet and brief comment is better than none but I also want the author to know how much their story positively affected me.

This year is pretty busy and stressful for me and fanfics always provide a lot of comfort and distraction for me in the few moments of respite and your fanfics were among the ones I love coming back to. Your writing style is so well done and the topics while very often dark still hit the mark when it comes to emotions and I often cried while reading and rereading.

I really hope in time that I'll be able to leave proper comments in the future. (Things might look like they improve soon-ish so who knows) But for now a big and nice thank you for all the hard work you've put into your fanfics, they were definitely worth it in my eyes since they provided me with comfort, feelings and I enjoyed them very much! I'll be looking forward to new projects when they're ready but for now I hold onto the comfort your current fics give me. Thank you so much for everything your fics have given me so far! Keep up the good work and stay awesome!

Hey anon? You have no idea how much this means to me <3

A quick disclaimer a comment is never required to read a fic. I know there's a lot of posts going around trying to convince people to comment, but never feel guilty if you don't. Comment or not you read the fic, and if that truth is just between you and the words? Then my writing still did its job of mattering to someone, no matter if I ever find out <3 you have nothing to apologize for!

I'm so happy that what I've created has left such a positive impact on you! This comment has certainly left a positive impact on me :)

While sometimes the topics I write about are sad, or dark, my goal is to approach topics with real weight and feeling, to portray things realistically often based on my own emotions, and then giving relief we don't often ever get in real life.

I've always written about topics like this, about grief and it's impossible reversal, and I'm not sure why. But I'm glad it can resonate with people :)

And I'm so touched that my depictions of the boys are so well loved! I have. A million thoughts and details about them that I can't wait to continue adding to fics bc I have SO MANY FEELINGS about these guys!

Anon I hope your year gets easier and that you enjoy my upcoming fics as much as the ones I've already written <3

[crayonflop]

Its hard knowing these facts/cases w/ creepers like a Lee Jin Wook/Park Shi Hoo types rampant in the industry going unchecked?! Easy thing is to not view their works, but it gets harder for me as time goes on,since K-industry is smaller,these creeps are bound to work w/ my favs!?I feel weird/sad obviously not just Korea!?Does this ever make you feel guilty watching the content b/c of this?How do you grapple w/ it knowing there are creepers still getting mains in big projects?

no i don't ever feel guilty bc it's not my fault that they're still getting roles despite everything it's the people controlling casting and production's fault i'm not watching anything for them anyway and i'm also vocal about my distaste for them. anyone can watch whatever they want without shame, the problem is being aware of what kind of people they are and choosing to ignore it or actively support them anyway (if ur watching bulgasal with this knowledge of ljw that's fine but if ur also then posting about how he's sexy or something then like fuck u for real)...the main difference between those men and the majority of male actors is literally just that we know about some heinous thing they did and we don't what others have done. if i'm gonna never watch anything again starring a man who has done something evil i might as well give up watching tv altogether bc most of them probably have they just haven't been caught. the entertainment industry will never be free of scumbags till the end of time that's just how it is. personally i just decide like is my interest in the rest of this show gonna outweigh how uncomfortable i feel watching this man and the answer is usually no tbh...but if i do decide to watch like i don't feel bad about like my watching a tv show is not a show of support for an actors's misdeeds UNLESS u are blatantly and knowingly dismissing them as trivial, actively defending their innocence or making stupid excuses like "separating the artist from the art" or whatever bullshit like that's when the line gets crossed imo but it's too exhausting and actually literally impossible to limit ur media consumption to things that are assumed "unproblematic" bc in reality we have no way of actually knowing

[lightlavenders]

Time for my Entrapdak rant (a.k.a. why Hordak was better for her than literally anyone else, a.k.a. I’m not bias I swear)

as I read through Entrapta/Hordak/princess gang discourse on this site I started to realise the reason why I loved Entrapdak so much in the first place, and I will now talk about that here (some of these points are stolen from better posts). ALSO no matter how much I shit on other characters just know this isn’t an attack of any of them. This is gonna be VERY ENTRAPTA FOCUSED.

OK SO we get introduced to Entrapta pretty early in season 1 and we get to learn a lot about her. It also quickly becomes clear that she’s neurodivergent - something confirmed to be intentional by many of the creators. Entrapta has a passion for technology, science and inventing, and (same as the previous princesses) the best friend squad decide they need her in the alliance so she can build them weapons (whICH SHE NEVER ACTUALLY DOES i think BUT THATS NOT THE POINT). 

Throughout the episode though, the squad (mostly Glimmer bc she’s the one who gets to closely interact with Entrapta the most... Adora being completely out of it and Bow with the kitchen staff) seems to slowly run out of patience for her - Glimmer very obviously puts up a front of tolerance despite her frustration. This is unlike the other episodes, where all the princesses get along in the end and become best friends oh boy! So... we have our only neurodivergent character so far who isn’t really welcomed into the group the same way as the others... and her autistic behaviour is only tolerated because they need her... okay, maybe that’ll change later.

Or not? When Entrapta joins the others on the quest to save Glimmer, she is constantly infantilised by the others and not taken seriously. She runs off to study Horde tech and actually helps rescue Sea Hawk, two very helpful things, but Perfuma talks down to her like a child and PUTS HER ON A LEASH? SHE’S 30!!! SHE WAS TRYING TO HELP! And no one tells Sea Hawk off for getting lost and alerting Scorpia to their presence, which wasn’t helpful at all. Then later, Mermista says she’ll keep an eye on her “in case she decides to befriend any more robots” like okay... she isn’t a child, and she didn’t run off because she wanted to play with robots or something?

Okay, so, Entrapta is left behind, which I won’t blame them for because it definitely looked like she died (they get over it pretty quickly but I digress), and she comes across Catra. Okay! Here’s a chance for Entrapta to make a true friend, right? Or not, because Entrapta and Catra’s friendship is built entirely on manipulation. At least Scorpia was sincere. 

Here Entrapta is again, in a position where she’s being used for her skills and in a we’re-sort-of-friends-but-I-only-tolerate-you-because-you’re-useful situation, with Scorpia probably being her only true friend at the moment. She starts helping out the horde, because they actually let her do what she wants and at the very least don’t treat her like a child. Then, she stumbles into Hordak’s lab.

I’m gonna say this now because I’ll get murdered if I don’t - Hordak is a bad guy. He does bad guy stuff. But so does Entrapta sometimes (I’ll talk about that later) so good morals don’t need to play into their relationship I think. It’s about how they treat each other.

At first, Hordak is very defensive and angry towards Entrapta, as he would be to anyone coming in to his lab without permission and discovering his secret portal project. But then she fixes said portal and he immediately sees her as an intellectual equal. Again, Entrapta has had to prove herself to someone by making herself useful, but it actually goes further. ALSO can I say how Hordak is the ONLY person who interacts directly with Entrapta who doesn’t treat her like a child or emotionally manipulate her, with the exception of Wrong Hordak, Emily, and Imp of all characters... Even Scorpia is guilty of this later.

So, Entrapta and Hordak start working together, and Entrapta is obviously very excited to have someone treat her as an equal (they’re lab partners!!). On top of that, Hordak is also happy to have someone he can actually trust. Catra and Scorpia at separate times both remark on how Entrapta spends all of her time with him now, and who can fucking blame her when he’s the only one that has literally spent all this time growing close to her and understanding her as a person, not just using her, not just tolerating her, not talking down to her constantly. Hordak opens up his trauma to Entrapta and she responds by opening up a bit in return, literally saying that she doesn’t fit in and that Catra doesn’t even talk to her anymore. They are obviously comfortable around each other, and if Hordak was manipulating her, then why was he so distraught when she was taken away? Why did he CRY??? Why did he consider giving up on his life’s purpose and abandoning what is essentially his god for her???

Anyway, stuff happens, and Entrapta shows that she isn’t the irresponsible child everyone thinks she is by agreeing to shut off the portal. But of course, Catra betrays her and sends her away. To die. How nice. Catra tells Hordak that Entrapta betrayed him, and instead of flipping out and turning all Hal Stewart incel “if I can’t have you no one can” he just gets sad... and then later all he really wants is to see her again, even if it is on the battlefield. I’m not sure what he would’ve done so we can’t say for sure, but I seriously doubt he wanted to hurt her.

sidenote - I’m not gonna blame Scorpia for letting Catra doing this, Scorpia had her own shit going on and was essentially trapped in an abusive relationship and she also later makes up for letting Entrapta down by getting her rescued

SO then the best friend squad go to save her from Beast Island, and she’s literally completely given up. Gee, I wonder why. Could it be because it seems like every friend she’s ever had has abandoned her, scolded her, or outright zapped her unconscious and sent her to die in a monster filled island? But the squad save her and affirm to her that they didn’t give up on her and that they’re still her friends. Actions speak louder than words, guys, but okay, cool! To Bow and Adora’s credit, they were the least patronising and mean out of anyone... so, that’s something. Anyway! Affirmations! Some respect from her friends! I hope this lasts... 

It didn’t! Season 5, Entrapta goes along with the others to help find out where Glimmer is. Here is where I quickly have to say something - Entrapta does indeed make some ‘evil’ and stupid decisions sometimes - hacking the black garnet, building robots that attack her old friends, walking out absentmindedly in front of a robot and compromising her team. Some of these things can be explained by her neurodivergence, but do not always justify it. That being said. Entrapta is not evil, she is not stupid, and her “weirdness” does not give her friends the excuse to treat her like a child. 

Here’s where it gets bad!! Perfuma puts Entrapta on a leash AGAIN!!!!!! WHAT? Writers? Wyd?? Not only this, but the others talk about her behind her back, and then scold her without any consideration for how she, as a neurodivergent person, was interpreting the situation. They could’ve explained their feelings to her in a calm way, instead of shunning her and expecting her to pick up on their cues, then exploding at her when they didn’t. THEN THEY CALL HER A BAD FRIEND.... and I feel hypocrisy in this chili’s tonight... and then Scorpia... doesn’t say anything? Girl help. Ik we can’t totally blame her since she was new to the squad and probably didn’t wanna get kicked out or yelled at like with Catra, but please... that is your friend...say something. also why did mermista need to pull her hair and then later say “you’re still a weirdo” like what. why do people ship them? because mermista cried when entrapta ‘died’? Okay??

I think Entrapta actually goes through some character development after this which is pretty cool - she outwardly expresses her concern for Glimmer, which is affirming to her friends the squad, and later at the end of the series, intentionally keeps herself focused during the most high stakes moment instead of running off. I’m not qualified to talk about if these traits, which could be considered traits of autistic people, deserve to be treated as flaws to be fixed, that’s a whole other bag of worms, but yay character development.

Finally, at the end, Hordak properly reunites with Entrapta and he decides to rebel against his creator and his purpose to save her life, showing that Entrapta, and their connection, is his priority now. And once Adora saves Hordak from Prime (thanks Adora), the two finally reunite in a spinning hug - that is literally the most physical contact either of them have had with anyone, how could anyone not believe in their connection and mutual trust???

Mermista gives us one last jab, an understandable one considering Hordak was conquering their planet for years on end, but still - “so, are we all just like, okay with this?” yes girl, we are. He’s literally the only one who ever treated her with real respect and love, the only one who ever prioritised her.

I know some people are gonna be like “just ship her with wrong Hordak” and if you really like that... go ahead I guess? But do we need to force a clone who just got control of his own mind into a relationship, or a girl who is very much in love with someone else into a relationship with one of her friends? You can do what you want though, it’s literally fine, I’m the one who just spent over 1500 words talking about why a 30 year old science woman should go out with an alien warlord.

In conclusion - Hordak and Entrapta deserve each other, because Entrapta deserves someone who treats her right, and I love her.

[just-another-hhazbin]

i have SO MANY headcanons get ready

first of allll........i heacanon angel has both bpd and hpd (bc so do i 😳). bpd is characterized by feeling isolated, intense emotions that the sufferer struggles to deal with, extreme fear of abandonment, drug/alcohol use, and suicidal ideation. on the other hand hpd is characterized by acting seductively and/or dramatically for attention (positive or negative), high sensitivity to criticism, constantly seeking reassurance and validation, and being excessively self centered.

and i like to think there’s some canon evidence to back me up here bc angel definitely seems to struggle with being seen as weak/not being good enough and reacts harshly when vaggie insults his appearance. i also headcanon angel is hypersexual and thinks the only reason anyone would ever love him is for sex, which is Sad but also a mood

that got long oopsie 😳 okay Anyway i also hc both angel and alastor are afab nonbinary 🥺 angel is genderfluid (goes from male to gender neutral to female uvu) and doesn’t really. care about pronouns but would say he/him if asked. alastor is agender (previously id’d as a trans guy) and their pronouns are he/they/it.

bonus hc: alastor has not otherwise specified psychotic disorder, basically in the form of auditory hallucinations (voices laughing and telling him to do things) with no other features. [as u can tell i’m projecting but Anyway]. al also has pretty graphic intrusive thoughts. one of the reasons he hates being close with people is because he’s afraid he’ll hurt them and end up being all alone again.

I need ALL the headcanons. 👀 They are my sole sustenance besides caffeine and chicken afjashdjfhasjkfs. 

Also, because I will repeat this on each and every single ask that discusses neurodivergent headcanons because I know some of y’all will yap about it if I don’t - we are firmly ignoring the implications of any character being canonly neurodivergent and what kind of rep that might provide while acknowledging that being neurodivergent has nothing to do with what makes a person “good” or “bad.” We also do not invalidate any neurodivergency in this house. Cool? Cool. Onwards!

The projection mood... 📓✍️  I can definitely see Angel with both/either of those disorders. He definitely shows signs of both from the glimpses we see in both the pilot and addict, though obligatory disclaimer that his environment between the drugs and Valentino definitely isn’t helping, him seeking out the risks and rush and attention, etc from those industries would be in line with either or both of those... I need more notes emojis asfhkjashf. But yes, I definitely see Angel exhibiting behavior in canon that would line up with those headcanons.  

I can also definitely see and understand hypersexual!Angel Dust, though I am somewhat guilty of harboring a love for ace!Angel Dust as well. Do I think hypersexual is much more likely canon-wise than ace? Yup. Do I love it anyway... yes I do.  I also agree with him seeing himself as unlovable and wanted only for sex - the implied abuse of Henroin would have damaged his self-esteem enough, nevermind some - 70? - years of working under Valentino, he of the abusive behavior and possible/probable gaslighting, along with whatever Anthony was doing in his life topside.

We know my nonbinary ass loves some nonbinary headcanons. Genderqueer Alastor and Angel Dust... are so important to meeee... (wipes a tear from my eye dramatically).  I tend to put Angel Dust somewhere between trans and genderqueer more than genderfluid, just someone who’s fully comfortable with himself/themself and knows he looks rocking no matter how he presents himself. But I can also see him as genderfluid! 🤔 Hell, I’m agender and I still have days where I poke myself and feel one gender more than another. The nonbinary mood...

Agender Alastor is something I love with all my agender heart, absolutely yes. (Nobody talk to me, I’m projecting.)  I know we’ve talked about agender al on here before but damnit we’re talking about them again. I think Alastor just does whatever the fuck Alastor wants, and when asked about a gender, it isn’t “boy” or “girl” or etc., it’s just... Alastor. They’re just themself. I do tend to have my agender Alastor use he/him pronouns more than they/them, just because he’s grown comfortable with them and is a bit stuck in the 1930s, but he’s also comfortable with they/them. It/Its are incredibly valid pronouns, but Experiences have led to them not being my personal preference.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  (And I stress the personal there. And then point to me projecting ajfdhskdhfas.)

[We all project a bit, it’s valid.] I’ve never really thought much about the possibility of him hearing voices, but with his impulsive behavior and mood swings from topside I wouldn’t necessarily be surprised, and I especially wouldn’t be surprised given his afterlife connection to the Loa and, ya know, the whole “Radio” thing.

I definitely headcanon Alastor as someone who is very impulsive and does have intrusive thoughts that he’s sometimes more than happy to carry out (ie on strangers) but is less than pleased with when they involve himself or those he cares about. He has no real desire to see his people hurt, but he’ll still catch himself thinking about it, maybe the shadows darkening a bit, his hands straying... and then he’ll catch himself and make up an excuse to hurriedly leave and collect himself elsewhere or go on a killing spree as an (invalid) coping method.  I also agree that I definitely think Alastor fears loneliness and silence, and maybe I’ve just read Jadeile’s “Afterlife” too many times, but you cannot convince me that Alastor isn’t a touch-starved extrovert. He was a charming and popular radio host in life, he probably had all the attention he could’ve wanted and then some. That’s probably how he made a few of his kills, even. But in Hell where every other street his plastered with signs warning people to run from him? Yeah. Also, he’s just incredibly clingy and manhandling through the pilot, and I think part of that is because he’s finally around people who won’t just run screaming if he so much as speaks to them (unlike pretty much everyone else, as seen in the comic).

Okay, I went off on a couple tangents there, but. Yes. I’m done now sadkjfh.

[evalieena]

35 Questions for Fanfiction Writers

well since dearest @bachint​ asked, here goes nothing!

1. From one to five stars, how would you rate your writing? (No downplaying yourself!)

well if no downplaying’s allowed i guess i’d give it a 3/5? some mistakes since i’m not a native plus i”m still working on getting my english style better! i like what i come up with all the same, i’ve improved a lot these past two years, and my grammar isn’t that bad i guess?

2. Why do you write fanfiction?

to do what developers didn’t do in the first place to make good use of my imagination, to cope with the fact that some characters don’t exist and i will never follow another one of their adventures, to forget about a boring real life...

3. What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

my writing doesn’t stand out lmaooo but i guess i’m always trying to focus on the character’s psychology, struggles and all that, so if someone likes my work, it’s ‘original’ bc it’s usually quite different from the usual stories where there are a lot of dialogues and interactions.

4. Are there any writers that inspire you?

i’ve been inspired a lot by @welcometogressenheller​ (i wish i could do as well as she does.....), @aceklaviergavin​ (kudos to you even if you never see that post and you probably don’t know who i am), and some others whose name i forgot (sorry!)

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of?

i didn’t write much but i guess that my latest fics are really nice (There’s No Light In You Anymore, and the whole Faith series on AO3). also my big project “Now That You’re Gone���, i’m glad i’ve been able to write that much for it and i intend on continuing as soon as i find the motivation!

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily?

pain, struggles and all that comes with it as long as it’s in the character’s mind, because beware here you step in a dark space

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most?

ordinary scenes of life? i always find my writing lacking as soon as i step out of my comfort zone, i’m all for rambling and never-ending pain

8. Which character(s) do you find easiest to write?

desmond/descole surely

9. Which character(s) do you find most difficult to write?

all the good guys (and dimitri allen because i’d love writing about him but i’m? just unable to?)

10. What’s your favorite genre to write for?

that may come as a surprise! angst!

11. Who or what do you find yourself writing about most?

a mix of question 8 and 10 and you’ve got your answer

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about.

professor layton and the shattering secrets!!! i’m so happy of what this AU will look like when i’ll be done writing the following chapters, at first it probably looks annoying but heck i wanna promise anyone who’s reading it that the plot twists are gonna be worth it even though the overall background isn’t that original because i’ve mixed up different elements from other games (aaaand we’re back in our oh-so-amazing comfort zone that covers up a massive lack of imagination)

13. First fandom you ever wrote for?

ummm? the vampire diaries maybe? back when i was 10 or 11 lol

14. What’s your favorite fandom to write for?

hands up... pROFESsoR LayTON

15. What’s the weirdest fandom you’ve ever written for?

i didn’t write for many fandoms but back in my younger days i used to do self-insert fics with the vampire diaries cast and it was so odd and i wish i hadn’t just confessed that on my tumblr blog

16. Any guilty pleasure trope(s)?

nothing that comes to mind

17. A trope you’ll never, ever write for.

dunno either

18. Wildest fic you’ve ever written?

PL and the shattering secrets! huge canon divergence and one heck of an AU (also its original version is much worse, my mind was going crazy when i was 15)

19. Do you prefer canon-compliant, AUs, or something in-between?

i love reading AUs, writing some requires solid imagination which i have not, but honestly i don’t really mind

20. Gen fic or shippy stuff?

gen

21. Favorite pairing to write for? (platonic or romantic!)

desmond sycamore x his wife / randall ascot x hershel layton (be it romantic or platonic) / randall ascot x basically anyone from the MM i guess though i didn’t write anything about that yet (it’s about to change guys)

22. Do you listen to anything while you write?

yea i can’t write without listening to music - any playlist does the trick as long as i like what i’m listening to but usually i listen to sad soundtracks, or i’m inspired by some random lyrics

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas?

i’d go with challenges bc my horrible ass has very few ideas but i usually come up with independent ideas

24. One-shots or multi-chaptered works?

one shots!

25. Have you ever daydreamed about side adventures/spin-offs from your fic? Tell us about them!

i don’t remember ;_;

26. Is there anything you’ve wanted to write, but you’ve been too scared to try?

i’ve got one OS in mind with randall/layton but i don’t want to be the talk of the town because it’s probably going to be awful? also any other fic including the PL3 crew

27. What’s the nicest comment you’ve ever received?

@welcometogressenheller telling me she believed i was a native!!! i struggle so much trying to improve my writing style in english and i have a lot of insecurities so it was so heartwarming and incredible to read...

also basically any other comment where people tell me they like what i write. i love that writers feel the need to take some time reviewing my works bc i need constant validation

28. How well do you handle criticism when it comes to your writing?

well i’ve never really received ‘harsh’ criticism or anything, save for some very rare remarks on my grammar so i guess i don’t know? at first it’s always sad to see that what i’ve done isn’t perfect but i guess it’s impossible to be perfect so i’m really happy that people take some time to underline what looks wrong to them

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out?

currently trying to with shattering secrets and it’s actually a great way to improve!

30. Tooth-rotting fluff or merciless angst?

MERCILESS ANGST

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them!

i wish i could but it would perhaps be a huge spoiler so i don’t wanna say much about them...

i have 1) annabell sycamore, des’s wife, whose personality fits very much mine. she’s a playwright, spends lot of her time writing and acting in front of des AND WITH des. also she’s a very realistic person and some people usually tell her that she’s being too pessimistic 

2) aurelia from the shattering secrets and on her i really cannot say much... if anyone’s read this far it would be so nice if you could give SS a shot by the way!! 

32. Summarize a random fic of yours in 10 words or less.

desmond sometimes finds happiness but it’s always taken from him

(isn’t that a summary for everything i’ve ever written?)

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process?

i don’t translate my works from my original language to english, i write straight in english. i spend a lot of time making sure i haven’t done any grammatical mistakes, checking the definition and the use of some words i’m not sure about, and sometimes it’s quite a pain and it can be also very discouraging bc i end up believing what i write comes from a random internet dictionary while deep down i know it’s not true but hey what can i say. huge insecurities laid bare here.

(if any reader of mine’s reading this, i apologize)

34. Copy and paste an excerpt you’re particularly fond of.

(beware: spoilers for the whole prequel trilogy!!!)

“Hershel Layton was puzzled. A funny emotion to feel for someone who loved puzzles that much, but nothing could ever describe better the way he’d felt for hours now, hours that seemed like ages.So much did happen in the span of a few hours.

First he’d learned his parents could be targeted by Targent, then Aurora had made it clear that she didn’t want to live anymore, all so she could protect them. Then Desmond—no, Descole—had taken the key from her hands, and revealed himself as the dangerous scientist Layton knew him to be.

Then they’d fought. Despair was filling the air, though Hershel didn’t understand what Descole meant when he cried that the Azran legacy was all he had to live for.

And as if there hadn’t been enough betrayals as it was, Emmy was soon to follow. Luke had been abducted. He’d had no other choice than siding with Descole to prevent Bronev from unleashing doom on Earth. Misery didn’t seem to end.

Just when he’d thought he’d finally be able to change things, Descole had been ready to sacrifice himself to save Luke. And then…

Then everything just collapsed.

He held his agonizing brother in his arms; the one who’d wanted so hard to take him down only a few hours back was now confessing, fearing death was on the way.“

[...]

from ‘Six Times Hershel Layton Remembered, Plus The One Time He Didn’t’

35. Ramble about any fic-related thing you want!

oops i haven’t got anything more to say but thank you for reading? perhaps?

[fubukiswifenoimnotjoking]

Some opm fanfic ideas I’ve come up with thatIwishIcouldwrite ._.

1. Therapy! Maybe a bunch of heroes are pushed into taking therapy by the HA for legal reasons and it’s SO angst filled, what with Genos’ depressing past, Fubuki’s inferiority complex, Saitama’s depression, Metal Bat feeling pressure to be a good caretaker for Zenko, etc. Hey maybe in a Garou redemption take he ends up there too, taking in his childhood trauma. And everyone’s arguing like SHUT THE FUCK UP MY PAIN IS REAL and throwing stuff, meanwhile Saitama sits with Mumen (who I see needing physical therapy more than therapy therapy but coming there anyway to support heroes) and they drink tea and talk. Maybe eventually it mellows out and they can (sometimes) put their pride away to talk their stuff out, but Garou SWEARS he will kill anyone who talks shit on him!

2. Genos decides he can’t take it anymore and leaves to go find the Mad Cyborg cuz he knows he just can’t get strong like Saitama, even tho he doesn’t want to leave him. This has been done a bunch in fic BUT I rarely see any where Saitama goes with him! And maybe they like, go on adventures to get there and maybe over them, they grow closer, learn to speak to each other more, Genosai pining etc etc. oh and lots of camping together. When I imagine the end I always see like, either they find it and Genos almost dies but Saitama’s like no, we can do this TOGETHER and they punch it together, or a really emotional one where they find the cyborg’s corpse and Genos breaks down but admits he’s almost relieved, and yeah idk what else.

3. AA ok so I have three very self indulgent Au’s, I’ve talked about one on here and it’s kinda lame but I love the idea. K so, there’s this scene in A Star is Born with lady Gaga where she sings la vie en rose in a drag bar and when her and the main guy meet eyes they just!!instant attraction. So yeah my idea was that but Genos is a new drag queen at a drag bar owned by Fubuki and Saitama is a taffy puller at a candy shop (idk why I chose candy) with King and Mumen and Saitama goes to the bar for the first time cuz they’re promoting their candy there. And yeah lol it’s Genosai again, they start to hang out in and out of drag bars and for Genos, in and out of Genny, his dragsona (tho Genoko is way better now that I think about it). He has trust issues cuz shitty past etc and Fubuki takes him under her wing and they’re friends and she gives him advice. Oh and Sonic is a drag queen too, him and Genos are rivals, Tatsumaki owns a more popular bar and her and Fubuki have that sister rivalry, Garou and Badd work there as bouncers and mess with Genos all the time bc I love Shitty Teen Squad. Mizuki is a bouncer too :0 Also there’s Mizuki x Fubuki and Garou x Badd. Sonic x Mumen too I guess, tho I’m not as into that ship as before

4. My second self indulgent one oo boy. Soooo this is an au where everything is more monstrous, ppl are half or have become complete monsters, but more traditional ones usually, like Godzilla level kaiju, incubi, stuff like that. Except these monsters fit a teeny bit more into society, so there has to be something like a police force to get at em when they’re criminals but with heroes/detectives. Cue Genos and Mumen, totally BAD, SCARY eMO cop and goody🥳two😍shoes✨ good cop. One day they’re getting coffee or whatever when the whole place blows up, and while most people survived in wreckage, Genos notices-a monster! He chases after an incubus, and even rockets into the sky after him when he starts flying. Saitama’s like ow what the fuck, I didn’t do any of this I was just walking by! And Genos is like shut up scum >:( they take him in for questioning and learn he’s a super OP incubus (go figure) but he doesn’t have much of a sex drive and doesn’t “do the whole incubus thing.” Genos doesn’t believe him but Mumens like omg that must be so hard, have some more tea sweetie. Anyway Genos leaves it to Mumen and when he’s gone Saitama uses his convincing flirty powers to get Mumen to release him. He feels guilty about using his powers, he feels skeevy! But he really doesn’t wanna be there and escapes, Genos catches him etc and it’s a whole conspiracy all 3 of them have to figure out that actually goes super deep, also more Genosai lmaaoooooo

5. THIS IS MY DUMBEST ONE BUT I LOVE IT. Ok so Saitama is out walking in the woods one day and finds an abandoned cottage and he’s like oh sick. He goes back home but can’t get it off his mind. He keeps going back and fixes little bits of it here and there, really makes it shine and then Genos catches him and he’s like yo Sensei? Of course Genos takes the project super seriously bc Saitama is hardly ever interested in stuff so they get it done and pretty looking ridiculously fast. Then Saitama suggests like, living there every now and again for certain seasons. Genos says yes without thinking, and is floored by all the tender things he discovers come with cottage life, like a garden, taking care of little hurt birds and not accidentally hurting the house. He’s scared to tell Saitama but Sai eventually worms it out of him that he feels like he doesn’t belong, he’s so bulky and damaging to everything. Course Saitama feels awful for not realizing, hugs the shit out of him and apologizes. Then he gets the idea to help Genos feel like he can enjoy a simple life, help him hold animals, feed birds, etc. and Genos is like oh my GOD Saitama is too good to me 🥺🥺 and idk what else happens hhhh. anyway could be either established relationship or mutual pining, I like either for this story but the most IMPORTANT part is it’s full of cottagecore imagery and vibes or it’s not a simple cottage au, and I live by that. Anyway if anyone likes these and wants to use them then hell yeah! I can’t write to save my life, but please gimme credit 🧡🎃

[lesbiancarat]

Yay!! Im happy to hear that! Hopefully you can rest up well from your semester!

Ahh by that I meant like you know how kpop albums have concept pictures included? Thats how I view what the TTT magazines are just minus a physical disc cx sorry for the confusion!! Honestly this is all so new and interesting, seventeen never really done something like this. Yes we had mixtape songs but not in this way so promotion will be different. I saw wonwoo and mingyu are doing a song but that isn't related to spider so that means its like jun's and minghao's songs. Which makes things a bit confusing lol, not complaining since hey more content for us ^_^ but yeah guess we have yo see when the next solo actually is. Oh and seventeen coming back!! This is the kind of news I needed, I'm shocked they actually have their own usa site to buy stuff (sort of like nct has) because I know bts nor txt don't. Well bts USED to but that was before bighit decided to shut it down in favor for weverse which sadly I don't see the need for (plus call me old and weird but I don't trust buying stuff from apps? Like I feel a bit more comfy on a computer which Ik doesn't mean its not safer but meh, apps make me fishy lol) also Walmart is selling the albums, bless my family uses Walmart alot (like we used it last night xD) so maybe I can squeeze it in next time? Granted I want to wait for the concept photos first because while I do like a surprise, its also just nice knowing what the vibe is. Or be the complete opposite of what the mv will be about lol.

Ahh as much i was being hopeful and had her eat, sadly my bunny didn't make it =c she passed away on the weekend. She was a strong bunbun, she tried her best to make it out but alas she didn't win. I'm a bit happy my gut instinct told me to spend time with her because at least I got to be with her for her last hour. It kinda sucks because I feel slightly guilty because I couldn't get her the proper help so I feel like I let her down (especially after I found out from reviews the food I bought for her is actually not good for bunnies and can cause problems so I feel dumb) I shouldn't since I gave my bunny the best love I could give while caring for her so she wasn't in a bad place with me. Still can't shake that off, feels weird not waking up and seeing her around or like when I play games she isn't near me chilling. Healing takes time of course so I'm making myself busy with enjoying content from my favorite artists. I made a lil promise that I would finish a game that I played alot while she joined me (it sounds silly but I viewed it as like "our game" ya know?) For her in memory. Sorry for babbling about this bsksbsjd. Losing a pet isn't fun at all. I am so sorry about your cat *hugs you* im sure that furry buddy was well loved!! If I may ask of course, do you have a favorite memory of your cat? Like any funny moment or cute ones?

ahhh ok i get what you mean! it will definitely be interesting to see how it all plays out since SVT haven't done a project like this before. I'm really curious how spread out all the solos are going to be. esp with a cb coming up it seems unlikely we'll get a TTT solo any time soon? but then again SVT are always surprising us these days. but i wonder if they'll come out just whenever a member happens to prepare it or if it's all scheduled out at semi regular intervals 🤔

but yeah it looks like bittersweet is part of the power of love project as opposed to TTT... it's getting complicated real fast! and yeah SVT is definitely expanding into/focusing more on US promotions now... it will be interesting to see how it all plays out! but i totally get what u mean about preferring to buy things on the computer it's funny how that is sometimes djfkgj i had been thinking about preordering the other day since it seemed like we wouldn't be able to pick the version we want anyway, but now that there are some shops that let you i definitely want to wait and see the teaser photos. every day i keep expecting them to start releasing but we get a different surprise instead OTL

I'm sorry to hear about your bunny :( but it's good that you were able to spend time with her at the end, I'm sure it made her feel safe to have someone who cared for her by her side rather than being alone <3 try not to feel too guilty about it, since what's done is done and there's no way to know for sure if it was the sole reason for her failing health. it's good that you're able to recognize and work through your grief, and i think finishing that game is a great way to do that and to honor her memory :')

and thanks, we lost her a little while ago now so luckily thinking about her is more nostalgic than sad. but as for a funny story Riley was a gremlin. she got up on the counters and kitchen table a lot when we weren't looking. she also liked eating paper and we had to be careful where we left things bc once she ate my sister's homework. which, ok, she didn't eat the entire paper but she did eat a corner of it and sort of ripped and crinkled the rest. i can't remember if my sister turned it in like that or if she had to redo it djgkgj

here's a picture of the frame/shadowbox thing my mom made for her after she died with photos, her collar (which she hated and hardly ever wore dhfk), and her favorite toy ;-;

also u didn't ask but here's my other cat liberty from a few days ago :P (she's getting older and has arthritis and kidney issues but she's still alive and kicking!)

[theshinsun]

1. as far as im concerned Kagami never left at the end of last game, that was an extended dream sequence... 2. i also totally agree with you that Kagami is prolly vers, if anything, and it was also MY PET PEEVE when people pinholed him into being a forever bottom at the peak of knb hype. 3. you keep teasing your long list of ships for Aomine PLEASE do him for the character thing lol. So far all your opinions are sending me into a realm of GOOD VALID VIBES

Omg thank you!! (I agree end of Last Game is not canon… or if it is he came right back the next year or smth I refuse to accept he just left forever. And I’m really glad to see the problem of Uke™ Kagami seems to be in decline these days… fewer people are writing for knb in general, but those that are seem to have an idea what a real gay relationship is or at least make him a fucking person and not a walking stereotype, and that’s encouraging to see). 

Also thanks so much for sending Aomine! …Strap in for this character essay tho I’ve been known to never shut up about this boy once you get me started.

How I feel about this character

I honestly… can’t even explain it anymore or even try to justify it but Aomine has had a bigger impact on me than, I think, any other character I’ve seen to date. I don’t even know what it is, I do relate to him (and project on him *cough*) but like, there are other characters out there that I have more in common with, and I like his whole arc and aesthetic but it’s nothing revolutionary, so… your guess is as good as mine. 

Whatever it is, I’ve been obsessed with this guy for over half a decade, and lately even as the KNB fandom falls into decline, my feelings are not they’re just getting stronger. His development over the course of the series is one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever seen, (that one bit at the end of the Touou/Seirin game with “I want to practice” and his later conversation with Kuroko hit me in the fucking chest every time), and I love how even though he’s portrayed as cold, uncaring and rude, it’s still understood (at least by anyone with some nuance) that that’s not what he’s supposed to be like, and underneath the distant, kind of dickish front, he’s hurting a lot. I’ve talked about the degree to which he cares about people before too, but I still have to give a mention to the ferocious level of protectiveness this guy has for his friends. I could go on about him for ages, tbh, and maybe someday I will write a for-real structured essay to try to get it out there, but the bottom line is I love this character, I have for a long time, and likely will continue to do so long into the future.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Okay here we go… I ship this guy extremely liberally, even with people he’s never interacted with (hell you could mention any random character and I could probably see my way clear to shipping them with him somehow, I’ll still try to explain my logic if I can). Prepare yourself.

Kagami (of course, AoKaga is the OTP and definitely the one I’ve devoted the most time to, they’re just the best together I’ll never get tired of seeing them figure their shit out over and over)

Kuroko (I may be AoKaga on main, but I’m still such a sucker for the tragic romance between these two, and sometimes it just hits me over the head like a sledgehammer how much I love their relationship. I’ve also got a lot of feelings for AoKagaKuro, they’re such a perfect trio and I need to invest more of my time in the OT3)

Kise (I was a bit late to the game on AoKise, but I definitely see it now. I love their dynamic and how imperfect their relationship would probably be, the complexity of it. sign me up)

Momoi (I don’t see a lot of AoMomo love anymore, but I’ve still got a soft spot for it, childhood friends are my weakness okay)

Midorima (they’re so different but that’s what makes it interesting, and I love the idea of neither of them knowing how to show/tell the other their feelings and being awkward stubborn shits together)

Murasakibara (they almost never interact but I just think they’d have such a soft cuddly relationship and be really chill together… lazy Sunday mornings sleeping in and hanging all over each other that kinda thing)

Akashi (kinda same as Akashi/Kagami, I think the difference between polished upper-class Akashi and scrappy city boy Aomine would be hella interesting… though I’ve also got some angst ideas for them as a couple, after how things went down at Teiko… abandonment and whatnot)

Imayoshi (I got pulled into this ship HARD by Lysapadin’s A Firm Hand series and now it’s no longer a guilty pleasure ship and is actually something I’ll talk about in the open, just… the power dynamic fuck me up)

Sakurai (I fuckin love the idea of an anxious Sakurai crushing hard on Aomine and not knowing how to tell him but when he finally plucks up the courage and prepares himself for imminent death Aomine’s actually pretty chill about it… plus they’d be adorable together tbh)

Wakamastu (you know it’s gotta be enemies to lovers. not just bc I’m intrigued by the love/hate relationship itself but if you look past the attitude issues these two would actually probably have a lot in common. also I’m really interested in how their dynamic might change with Wakamatsu being captain and all)

Susa (idk but there’s one throwaway line in season 3 where Imayoshi says about Aomine “actually maybe he likes you” and that’s enough for me. bring me the rarest rarepair my body is ready)

Kasamatsu (it wasn’t supposed to be SERIOUS but they got me. That moment in the Touou/Kaijo game where Aomine helps him up and “you’ve really done it now, senpai” is legit, plus these two would be such a good-looking couple, honestly.)

Mibuchi (give me the pretty boys. I have no excuse for this except maybe their interactions in my own damn fic again)

Nebuya (sometimes shipping can be as simple as hey I want them to bang right. also they’re both humongous dorks under their respective rough exteriors and I love them)

Moriyama (they bond over liking girls at first and then they’re simultaneously like wait a minute… more Touou/Kaijo ships pls)

Nijimura (I have this idea of them reuniting late into/after high school and Aomine still calls him captain out of habit and Nijimura’s like relieved and impressed to see how he’s developed since the mess at Teiko)

Himuro (they Never interact but they’d be so Petty and Snarky sign me up)

Haizaki (twisted, but I’m interested it’d be so unhealthy and awful bring it)

Hanamiya (even more twisted tbh but there is that moment where Aomine confronts him… and I’m here for hate sex just as much as your typical romance)

Inoue (who, you ask? I know he’s such a side character and no one remembers him, but he’s a big reason for Aomine’s downfall at Teiko and they seemed to be buddies before that, I’d be interested in some kind of reconciliation between them, or a romance, ya know whatever works)

And then we get into crossover territory… MOST of these are not my fault they’re just things I’ve seen and adopted for myself

Kuroo Tetsurou (someone made a moodboard for them, and now I can’t stop thinking about them in a relationship, like damn… it’d be such a beautiful mess I wanna see more of it)

Oikawa Tooru (I’ve seen art, and also the light. These two damaged angsty prodigies, one sharp as a whip the other dumb as bricks, but both of them sassy and nerdy as hell. I could see myself getting addicted to this ship if I took the time to write it out, and I just might)

Yamazaki Sousuke (can’t lie, they look good together. I’ve seen more than one art piece of them interacting and I have a Mighty Need.)

Matsuoka Rin (angry lonely talented boys finding solace in each other’s company? you know that’s my shit. also shark teeth and cop AUs hells yeah.) 

Tanaka Ryuunosuke (I don’t know where the fuck this idea came from but I thought of Tanaka trying to pick a fight with “shitty boi” Aomine while in Tokyo and then losing his shit and here we are)

Terushima Yuuji (this one is purely physical… they pretty, I have no other reason, but also this absolute fuckboy, these two would be such a train wreck and I’m here for it tbh)

Yachi Hitoka (okay picture this Giant Terrifying basketball player trying to be less giant and terrifying to tiny shy Yachi and tell me you don’t just want to see that happen. I get Legosi/Haru vibes.)

I’ll spare you the rest of the ideas I’ve tossed around, because past this point it becomes pure crack (if it hasn’t already) but you get the idea. Throw a character my way and I can probably talk myself into it that’s the power this guy has over me. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

My non-romantic OTP for this character

K considering the List… it shouldn’t be surprising that I also consider this person a romantic candidate, but you know when it comes to non-romantic OTP it’s gotta be Momoi. Platonic or romantic, the way she’s stuck with him all those years and his obvious protectiveness and love for her and how (even though he claims to like big tits) he never even once starts to objectify her in any way, it’s so important to me. Momoi is Aomine’s redeeming factor when he’s at his worst, and she goes to bat for him even while he’s actively trying to shake her off and still tries to protect and help him when he refuses to accept it, even when it means they fight. (Also Kuroko saying “Aomine’s probably looking for you” after their argument puts to mind Aomine running through the rain calling Momoi’s name and that is just… pure). These two have the kind of unshakable long-standing friendship that’ll probably last them the rest of their lives, and no matter what context or form it takes, I can’t get enough of it. 

My unpopular opinion about this character

I’ve harped on enough about the fandom’s portrayal of Aomine as a one-note asshole who doesn’t care before, so let’s see if I can change gears a little bit here. 

I honestly don’t agree with… the persistent idea people seem to have of Aomine being a narcissist or obsessed with himself? Like yeah, he’s self-absorbed and egotistical, no question, this is not to say he hasn’t got those flaws and others besides… but that’s not the same as being like, physically attracted to yourself. Part of me suspects it was a “the only one who can fuck me is me” joke taken too far, so that now the idea of Aomine being in love with himself is just ingrained into the fanon culture, but if you look at the show itself, personally I don’t see it. If anything, I would think he’d have some self-loathing issues to work through (and that’s part of the reason he gave for skipping practice, he doesn’t want to be the way he is, and specifically says he doesn’t want to increase the difference between him and everyone else). But hey, that’s just my opinion. I’ll get off my soapbox now.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

I mean he says he and Kagami are postponing their match, after their brief one-on-one when he gives him the shoes, and then we never get to see it… Tbh just more street ball with this guy would be great, since it’s what his whole style is based around. Even if he’s just playing by himself… or hell, maybe since he thinks no one at the high school level can beat him, we could get a scene of him trying to go up against adults. Maybe he still beats them and his despair worsens after that, but then it’d have more meaning, and at least we’ll have seen that he’s tried and is not just giving up before he’s seen all of what he could be up against in the future. Plus, picturing Aomine going five-on-one like Haizaki did against grown-ups and still slaughtering them is something I’d pay money to see. 

[leilawhittaker]

how do bucky and leila get along? how does her presence affect the way steve and bucky interact during tws and cw?

Oh, I LOVE this question. So I’ve always seen Bucky and Leila as having a sort of antagonistic relationship at first, mostly because they’re lowkey fighting over who Steve loves more lmao. At this point, though, I see this toned down a bit on Bucky’s side due to Anya’s presence. 

Without Anya, Steve is basically Bucky’s only link to the present, and seeing him building a life with someone else, moving on from their shared past, makes him feel lost, like he has nothing to hold onto. 

With Anya, though, by the time Bucky meets Steve again as himself in CW (or rather, in Under Siege, which is my replacement plotline for cw--it still achieves the end goal of splitting up the avengers, but goes about it somewhat differently), he’s gotten attached to Anya, and they’ve sort of become each others’ anchors. So Bucky is less dependent on his relationship with Steve to ground him in the present.

 I was gonna put a read more here but tumblr won’t let me...rip your dash (UPDATE! Managed a rm!)

Still, I do think there is some tension between the two because of their respective relationships with Steve, which I’ll get into in a second. First, TWS: Leila’s presence doesn’t really change anything about Steve and Bucky’s interactions, simply because Steve and Leila for most of the movie aren’t on good terms. Not only are they not together, there’s actively some bad blood between them, and Steve in particular is very distrustful of her to the point of questioning whether she’s actually Hydra. (Leila replies by implying that he’s Hydra--”someone as self-righteous as you could justify just about anything to himself, don’t you think?”--although it’s more out of spite than any real suspicion.)

This dynamic continues up until the end of the arc, where Leila risks her life by giving up her healing ability to help stop project insight. (I’m still fuzzy on the details here, but that’s the basic premise for her redemption.) Between this, and Leila telling him about her past, it’s the turning point for their relationship; they become friends again, start growing closer, they help each other grow (for example: Leila is the one who talks Steve into telling Tony that Bucky killed his parents), until they eventually, finally, get together in AoU. 

But none of that exists in TWS yet; whatever friendship they had pre-C:SW has basically been shattered, and they haven’t started repairing it. So Leila’s just not a big enough factor in Steve’s life at that point in time to impact how he relates to Bucky. That doesn’t come in until Under Siege, whether Steve and Leila are together.

I think that at that point Leila in particular has a lot of insecurity over Steve’s past life--part of her feels like she’s a consolation prize, that Steve’s life with her and the Avengers is just some fluke and he was really meant to stay in the 1940s and have a life there. And having Bucky around just compounds that for her. She’s scared that Steve’s going to realize that Leila isn’t good enough compared to what he could have had, and that he’d rather be alone than be with her. 

(It’s funny because Steve, meanwhile, by this point is pretty convinced that him going into the ice was destiny, or God’s will, or something, specifically because it brought him to Leila, and Bucky re-entering his life really only makes him more sure of that. I like Steggy a lot but I think Leila forces growth in Steve that Peggy never really did, and I think Steve is aware of that. All he’s ever wanted was to be a good man. Peggy helped him believe he could, but Leila makes him better. 

Obligatory Taylor Swift lyric: “Look in my eyes, they will tell you the truth / the girl in my story has always been you” from the Lover remix ft. Shawn Mendes)

So that’s Leila side of things that makes her vaguely cold towards Bucky. Then on Bucky’s side, it’s toned down like I said due to Anya’s presence in his life, but he still feels a sort of discrepancy about how Leila factors into his relationship with Steve--like, if Steve’s managed to move on so much, does he actually really love Bucky? (Platonically or otherwise, your choice.) Bucky knows it’s irrational but it’s a neurosis he has trouble shaking. Bucky and Steve were the most important people in each other’s lives for a long time; Bucky only broke free of Hydra because of Steve. And yeah, he’s happy that Steve found someone to ground him, that he found happiness, but it’s still hard. 

(It’s funny because Bucky has this part of him that thinks Steve stopped caring when in actuality a lot of how Leila and Steve got close in the first place was through Leila helping Steve look for Bucky. They probably wouldn’t have grown as close as they did if Steve didn’t care as much about Bucky as he does.)

Bucky could probably muscle through it if Leila wasn’t like, weirdly cold to him though, because he doesn’t know why. It never even occurs to him that //Leila// could be jealous of //him//. This tension causes them to start snarking at each other, while Steve tries to keep the peace between them, because this is the love of his life and his best friend and he wants them to get along so why won’t they just cooperate. It’s frustrating for him. 

Eventually this tension is somewhat resolved when they’re forced into hiding. A big part of it has to do with Anya. It’s a weird trait for a spy/assassin to have, but Anya’s very good at resolving tension and keeping the peace, and she’s hard not to like. She and Leila end up striking up a friendship, and from there she manages to mediate between Leila and Bucky, and they eventually reach a sort of understanding. 

I think, eventually, Leila and Bucky manage some semblance of friendship, although neither would ever admit it. They bond over having been brainwashed and feeling guilty over things they’ve done, and they have similar senses of humor as well. They keep snarking back and forth, but the malice behind it kind of disappears. 

This all happens very gradually and Steve isn’t sure how it happens or what to make of it, but he is grateful, although he still wishes they’d bicker less.  

(Plot point: I could see this mutual tension getting to the point where Bucky says something to Leila that’s way over the line, and Steve sticks up for her, which causes Bucky to storm off. Steve would also stick up for Bucky if it was Leila that went over the line, but I don’t think she would, not out of principle or anything but because she’s just that terrified of losing Steve. Bucky, for all his insecurity, knows that he and Steve will always be in each others lives, even if their roles change; whereas there’s still a part of Leila that thinks that Steve’s going to realize he can do better and leave her.

This plot point could be the catalyst for Bucky and Leila finally finding some peace, though, because there was a point where Leila did lash out like that, and she can definitely understand where it comes from, and I think, weirdly, whatever Bucky said to her ended up humanizing him to her a lot.)

By the time IW rolls around, they’re on good enough terms that Leila mourns him when he gets snapped. And by the time Steve and Leila get married after Endgame, she trusts him enough to let him be present for the wedding--the actual wedding ceremony, that is, not the reception. Plenty of people are invited to the reception; the actual ceremony itself is, at Leila’s demand, extremely small, consisting of Steve and Leila, the priest, Sam and Bucky on Steve’s side, and Tony and Anya on Leila’s. (And possibly Isabella; I’m still deciding.)

Anyways. As for how Leila impacts Steve and Bucky’s relationship in Under Siege: I think Steve’s attention is kind of split between them, whereas in cw he was pretty hyperfocused on Bucky, in US he’s also focused on trying to figure out what’s going on with Leila and why she’s acting so cold. I think there’s also already some tension between Leila and Steve bc the accords, while not as big of a factor, do exist, and while Steve is steadfastly against them under any circumstances, Leila has suggested that if the plan to sidestep them doesn’t work, they should try to negotiate a better deal out of them (not accepting them as they are, but trying to work with them). 

(I think these responses come down to this: on Steve’s side, I think the Hydra thing left him with a lot of moral injury, and that’s why he’s hesitant to operate under another organization--he’s not even thrilled about the Avengers answering to SWORD, and only really agrees to it because he trusts Leila, who helped build it. 

Part of Leila takes that personally, she feels like Steve not trusting SWORD means he doesn’t trust her, and part of her thinks that maybe he’s right not to. Leila herself has a lot of moral injury, because of the things she’s done but also stemming back to her childhood and how she was talked to and about, and ideas she internalized--and part of her still thinks she’s not capable of doing good. 

On Leila’s side, I think she’s just desperate to keep the team together because she doesn’t quite know what she’d do without it. I don’t think she’s aware that that’s her motivation, but it is a big part of it. It also goes back to the moral injury thing--Leila finds solace in the Avengers because she feels like working as a team, she’s able to do good, and she’s scared she won’t be able to be a good person without them.)

So Steve’s attention is somewhat split between her and Bucky during US, which only leads to more insecurity on Bucky’s part. 

I think? This answered your question although I know I rambled a lot lol sorry. 

Tl;dr:

-Bucky and Leila are initially threatened by each other’s relationship with Steve so they have a relatively cold, snarky relationship

-Eventually this comes to a head when Bucky crosses a line, and it weirdly makes Leila see him in a new, more sympathetic light, which helps them find some common ground. 

-Anya also plays a role in them developing a better relationship. 

-Leila doesn’t really change Steve and Bucky’s dynamic in tws, because she and Steve aren’t on good terms at that point. 

-In Under Siege (the replacement arc for Civil War), the big change is that Steve’s attention, instead of being hyperfocused on Bucky as in CW, is split between the two of them, which only causes more jealousy from both of them.

[aro-aizawa]

anyways, since the idea won’t leave me alone here’s my pitch for a prince of the galra keith au where lotor doesn’t exist and canon is just a suggestion i guess. (under a cut part ways in bc uhhh it’s like 3.7k words. rip.)

for starters: krolia is human and zarkon’s his dad. a nightmare idea, i know bc uhhhh the same thing that occurs w thinking about how lotor exists is uhh “zarkon fucks?” yeah. yeah he does. which uhhhhh yeah. but bare w me here, bc he’s still an utter dick in this au and krolia is still a badass. 

in this au, krolia was married to mr shirogane and had shiro before leaving earth on a garrison solo mission to pluto. she collided with a stolen galra ship manned by a prisoner who was trying to flee the empire, though the galra ship wasn’t damaged her ship was completely destroyed but she managed to survive for the prisoner to bring her aboard. together they tried to escape the empire, but they got caught. the prisoner was executed and krolia was taken to the arena. 

(earth believes she crashed her ship in the rings of saturn, and honor her death. no solo manned missions to space anymore, and certainly not to places humans haven’t been before. it also delays plans to send more people up there, so the next manned mission isn’t until shiro’s mission to kerberos. mr shirogane dies a five years before that mission.)

there she fought viciously and won literally every single one of her fights with only a dagger she’d earned early on in her battles. even when they provided bigger weapons, she always came on top with just a knife which earned her high praise and approval. enough to gain zarkon’s attention. 

idk why but he forces her to marry him, and when shiro’s 9 years old and krolia’s been in space for 5 years, keith’s born. he doesn’t actually go by keith at this point though because i doubt zarkon would let krolia name him that. not quite sure on what he’d go by though i quite like kyix of discordiansamba’s burgundy. krolia wanted to name him keith, and so calls him that when they’re alone as a secret nickname. 

keith doesn’t look fully human. a la lotor style i guess, he looks human but has purple skin and yellow sclera. pointy zarkon-ish ears and fangs. he’s still tiny as fuck though and doesn’t grow, to which he’s furious about bc galra are big and he’s a shorty but no one mentions it to his face otherwise he’d stab them right where they stand. 

krolia tries her best to raise him w good morals and lessen zarkon’s influence on him but she doesn’t fully manage it. he’s willing to please zarkon even if he’s not cruel about it, and he does wish for the best for the empire but knowing that his father’s reigned for over ten thousand years, he knows he’s probably never going to sit on the throne himself. doesn’t prevent him from getting all the training a prince would need (including a lot of combat training). 

he’s never told much about earth because krolia finds it hard to talk about. she does tell him about humans as a species and teaches him the three earth languages she knows, korean (her native language), japanese (mr shirogane’s native language) and english. she especially doesn’t tell him about shiro, but she does say that she left a husband and her family behind on earth, that she misses them a lot. 

back on earth, shiro goes to kerberos when he’s 26 (two years older than canon) and they still get caught. most canonical events in the year time zone go almost exactly the same. shiro gets sent to the arena, matt and sam still get sent off to the camps before matt’s broken out by the resistance, katie goes undercover as pidge, and lance and hunk are just regular dudes, but lance is in fighter class straight off the bat. 

(to earth, shiro crashes the ship and dies just like his mother did. which is......all kinds of sad to think about.)

except when shiro lands on earth, the garrison trio decide to break shiro out on their own. they then steal a jeep and head out into the desert, finding a nice guy who owns a shack (canon keith’s father but not in this au, who im gonna call mr fireman bc he doesn’t have a canon name). he’s been doing some investigating some funky stuff (the lion), and lets the kids crash at his place bc kids shouldn’t be wandering the desert w/o any supplies at night it’s dangerous. 

anyways, the shack conversation all goes almost exactly the same w mr fireman taking keith’s place. he goes with the kids, but he doesn’t get in the blue lion, she doesn’t let him in. mr fireman parts ways with the kids friendly-like, and the four of them head off to arus. 

things.....largely? stay the same? when it comes to stealing the red lion off the ship, they actually have to get the lions to drag it out of the cargo bay because they don’t have a pilot for it but as long as the lion is out of the empire’s hands, that’s all that matters although allura does try to pilot it when sendak’s ship is destroyed. due to having no pilot, they can’t retrieve black for shiro. so they only have three active lions, but three lions are still pretty powerful. 

from there i haven’t exactly worked out all the kinks but somehow they get in contact with rebels from their steady liberation of galra-controlled planets. they do small targets, taking out the weakest on the fringe of the empire and build up footholds while building the coalition. shiro fights with them on the ground, and using the castle with coran and allura when it’s not possible. sometimes he rides along with the other paladins. 

sometime before they go the galactic hub, and skipping over crystal venom entirely, they join forces with the rebels and the coalition to pull off a mission to kill zarkon. they’d received intelligence to suggest that he’s visiting a less secure ship, to oversee a project for a few days. instead of taking the lions and just blasting the ship to pieces, they decide to infiltrate and take him out stealth like to guarantee his death. 

only the information is faulty because it’s keith there instead of zarkon. 

when they learn that keith is zarkon’s son.......they kidnap him. 

their goal was to hold him hostage and/or interrogate him for weak spots in the empire, but somehow they end up thinking “hm maybe he can be redeemed bc his dad is literally an asshole and ehhh he can’t help who his parents are?” so they give him a chance....tentatively. 

keith, seeing this huge opportunity to sabotage his father’s greatest opponents and eventually steal the lions back for his father, takes this absolutely for granted and fakes his redemption. he basically pulls a lotor, and ends up helping them in certain areas but sabotaging them in others. he’s unable to report back to his father for spying purposes, but he does leave clues and/or hints to weaknesses somehow. all the while, the real reason for these things going wrong isn’t thought of. 

all the while, the paladins are trying to bond with keith. trying to get him to redeem himself, and they end up really liking him even though he’s still rather a loner, doesn’t pretend to be nice and trains like every day. he particularly gets along with shiro, the two of them forming a close bond that keith had not planned or counted on. 

allura is the only one who’s still suspicious of keith. she’s not....hostile. not really, she pretty much acts like she does in canon when keith’s heritage gets out. though they do have a few moments where they could maybe see eye to eye. she’s still apprehensive and unwilling to think that zarkon’s son could be anything but evil. 

this pays off when she investigates a major hit to the castle that renders it unfit for battle for a time and finds that keith was responsible for it. 

at this point, keith has been seriously reconsidering his allegiances. thinking that maybe the right thing to do really was to redeem himself and help out voltron and coalition. he’s not completely blind to the shitty things zarkon did, he’s well aware but he figures that maybe getting his father’s approval isn’t worth all the suffering of others nor something to desire. 

allura attacks keith and calls him out in front of everyone. providing evidence of literally all the times that keith’s fucked them all over. the team feel betrayed, keith is super guilty, and allura’s just pissed. keith doesn’t get a chance to explain before he’s thrown into a prison cell on the castle to wait until voltron can contact the coalition and decide what to do with him because it’s clear that zarkon hasn’t exactly been hurrying to find him. 

but then zarkon attacks the castle of lions with a massive fleet headed by haggar, a force that’s way too much for just three lions to take on while the castle’s defenses are still down. the whole team is in trouble and it pretty much starts to seem like zarkon’s gonna win and the paladins are gonna get killed. 

until the red lion reaches out for keith. 

so he breaks out of prison (that he could have done within minutes of being confined there), and heads to the hangar. he jumps in and uses the element of surprise to disable the fleet enough to make them need to retreat. 

the paladins are freaking out because uhhhh who the hell is the pilot of the lion? they do a little sound off like “allura that’s not you? coran? shiro?” but then keith uses the lion to communicate and basically says “sorry i broke out jail”. 

when they get back to the castle keith awkwardly does a heartfelt explanation of his plans and how the paladins actually did sort of make him want to redeem himself and realise just how much zarkon needs to get murked and stuff. he apologises for fucking them over and he even offers to go with whatever punishment they decide to dish out with no retaliation. 

the team go off and talk for a while. debating if they could really trust him anymore. allura is adamantly against it, pissed off that he’d already betrayed her trust after all zarkon did and the fact he piloted her father’s lion. lance joins her, upset he trusted him at all. pidge and hunk are apprehensive, pointing out that the lion must have seen the good in him to choose him. shiro believes in what keith’s saying and has faith in the kid to actually redeem himself. 

they tell him he can stay but the only reason he’s not dead and/or serving time in prison is bc he’s the red paladin. they make a lot of rules about what he’s allowed to do and not to do though, which keith doesn’t enjoy but he doesn’t complain about them. one of them is that he’s only allowed to fight the empire in the red lion and no on the ground stuff. 

now that the team have the red lion’s paladin they awaken the black lion and they form voltron for the first time. it’s badass, and the liberating of planets goes even faster than before. 

the paladins start to bond again even slower than before bc they need to rebuild that trust. it goes....pretty rockily considering the fact that keith is still pretty prickly in personality, and the others aren’t entirely convinced he’s actually changed sides. but shiro is essentially the only one that actually makes any headway in rebuilding the trust/relationship. 

one night he asks about keith’s mom. bc human far out in space? as far as the team knew there should have only been them and the holts, so he’s definitely curious. keith tells him about a pilot who’d been picked up in their solar system after their ship got destroyed and took them as prisoner. he tells shiro all about his mom and what she taught him of earth. 

but shiro. he starts to wonder who on earth this pilot was. because, uh, only very few pilots have gone missing in space and one of them is important to him. so he asks her name. keith replies krolia. shiro asks “as in...krolia kogane?” and keith’s like yeah. 

shiro mentally freaks out, doing mental acrobats all over the place but his thoughts mostly boiling down to a mixture of “HOLY SHIT MY MOM’S ALIVE” and “HOLY SHIT I HAVE A HALF-BROTHER WHO’S AN ALIEN PRINCE”. he manages not to let keith know he’s freaking out, and excuses himself. 

they end up doing a covert blood test and yup keith is shiro’s half brother. this earns him points in “okay yeah he’s capable of change if we warm up to him”, so the team start to treat him more favorably, not that keith is aware of this new revelation. so it’s common knowledge to the ship minus keith. shiro tries even harder to bond w his little brother, bc uhhh yeah he’s never had a little brother and he definitely likes keith so far even though he was a little evil for a while. 

keith at some point expresses to shiro why he’s fine with not telling zarkon that keith’s on the paladins’ side. that his mother would most likely be killed for turning him against zarkon due to the fact that paladins are humans, and that she’s still at central command completely unable to get away. like a glorified prisoner because, well, she is. 

shiro suggests to the team that they pull off a rescue mission to free krolia, not only for keith’s sake but for shiro’s sake too. plus the fact that she’d been a prisoner for twenty three years. which then kicks of the finale of season 1. (yes we’re still in season 1. it should have been way longer than it actually was.)

things go largely the same, except that in allura’s place it’s krolia. when keith charges at zarkon his identity is revealed to him. they manage to rescue krolia, keith fights zarkon and thace destroys the shield holding them in place. they don’t go through a corrupted wormhole though. 

then there’s a cute heartfelt reunion between keith and krolia. during which keith emotes more than he ever has in front of the paladins, who have pretty much all accepted that yep keith’s a good guy now considering he almost fought to the death with zarkon. 

but then shiro steps up and calls krolia mom which confuses the fuck out of keith, the only one who doesn’t know. krolia shakily says “Kashi?” and they tearfully hug, krolia completely caught off guard that her other son wasn’t on earth where she left him. keith is confusion until krolia explains, and keith asks if that means shiro is his brother. they say yes and they have a big old threeway hug, to which lasts for like an hour because its big family bonding time. everyone is happy for them.

you’d think, huh is this the end of the au? this is pretty long already.....nope!! we’re just getting started!!! (this thing is a monster......hence why im never going to even attempt to write it out lmao)

we go into season 2 where krolia starts to talk to the others about the rebel galra group that she helped and kind of joined called the blade of marmora. she tells them that there was a galra named thace who kept her in the loop about keith, and the goings on of voltron. she tells them that they would be a very good ally in the fight against zarkon. 

shiro then backs this story up with his memory of how ulaz helped him escape jail, and says that they should trust them. the team tentatively agree, but decide not to immediately go to them and focus more on building the coalition. krolia pulls keith aside and gives them a knife that they had given her to protect herself as zarkon prohibited her to carry weapons. its keith’s marmora blade that she was unable to activate because of her lack of galra blood, but they gave it to her to protect herself anyways. 

canon largely stays the same for a while. zarkon still does the tracking thing, except when allura and keith go out in a pod, krolia comes with them. they have a little thing where they make clear with each other where they stand and end up having a little fun despite the tense atmosphere until the castle is attacked by zarkon.

when the team meet up with the blades, keith demands why they didn’t help krolia themselves. they’d already proved with shiro that they could free prisoners if they wanted to, and demands to know why they didn’t risk it for krolia. he wants to know why they never took a bigger part in taking down the empire and why they never stepped forwards to work with voltron themselves instead of letting the team come to them. 

kolivan says that he only gets the answers, an alliance between them and gets to keep the blade if he joins as a member of their order and take the trials. keith accepts. the rest of the blades however, don’t like the idea that the son of zarkon was joining up and taking the trials. but when keith passes and pretty much immediately tries to kill memory zarkon on sight, he proves himself to them. the blades ally with the coalition and voltron. 

again, season 2 goes quite a lot like canon. except!!! in the finale they actually do end up killing zarkon along with haggar and shiro doesn’t go missing! hurray!!! 

but. that means with no prince lotor, and a dead zarkon instead of comatose zarkon, there’s no one to lead the empire. hence a kral zera is called. 

(here is where i mention i have vague memories of s3 onwards and haven’t seen past s4. so i don’t...actually know how most canon events from here on out go in explicit detail. its all pretty vague.)

the plan from there is for keith to attend and win. if he gets crowned the new emperor, he could officially announce the end of the war, and significantly reduce the amount of fighting the resistance would have to do to bring peace to the known universe. the coalition & blades don’t fully trust keith however, thinking that once keith is on the throne he’ll just betray them. 

keith understands and explains he doesn’t actually want the throne. he suggests that they just kill everyone on the planet when the kral zera is called, with no more candidates, the empire will be severely fractured and would still be easier to defeat than having a leader. in the end, they go with the idea of having keith become emperor, but the coalition there in case people fight back against his orders. 

keith wins, some back down and obey and some don’t. the coalition and voltron take down those that fight back, and from there it’s a lot of “keith orders galra to release planets and those that don’t, get liberated by the resistance”. its a lot of politics where keith frees all the prisoners of the empire, lets them get back to their home planets and finds sam returning him to pidge and matt. 

he sets up a colony in an empty solar system for the civilian galra to live governed by the blades, while he sees to it that those that were soldiers are put on trial and punished for their various crimes. 

again, still not entirely sure what happens in late canon, but i guess from there it does the whole...sendak takes earth thing? but it’s actually a pretty easy mission considering they have the might of the entire coalition (which is almost the entire universe at that point) and the blades and voltron. but after the defeat of sendak there pretty much isn’t any opposing galra resistance to keith’s reign? so from then on it’s just the paladins, allura, coran and krolia back on earth experiencing things. 

krolia busts into the garrison like “hey guess who’s not dead! also meet my alien son who’s king of an entire race of people, and my other son who’s leader of the universe’s most powerful weapon also with a sick glowing arm”. the garrison sweats under the pure power and skill the three of them exude. especially when krolia utterly annihilates all records on their simulators/actual ships. and then keith and shiro join in on it too and they end up giving them all the awards and accolades bc no one is going to top that ever. 

the paladins go to disneyland. keith is still technically emperor but considering the blades have been overseeing all galra activity anyways, he’s not really needed. so he just bums around earth for a while, getting to know the other half of his heritage that he never really got to. 

krolia meets mr fireman and they end up getting together bc krolia deserves good things and a desert hermit who helped get shiro back into space and eventually to her with is a good thing. they still live out in the shack tho bc mr fireman is committed to it at that point, bc he ended up living there through sendak’s invasion pretty well. 

and then uh i think that’s pretty much it. keith is a normal teenager, allura and coran get puzzled by human shit, lance reconnects w his family, hunk does too and cooks a bunch of food and pidge works w the garrison in making it less shitty while also just tagging along with whatever dumb things they decide to experience. 

end of au!!!!

[tayegi]

i feel like jk's ex gaslighted him and that's why he's so afraid of relationships - when he was in this original relationship i think she messed up his sense of reality so much that he doesn't want to give someone else the opportunity to manipulate him like that again. while i don't think she and oc are similar i think the jk's feeling the same stuff with oc rn as he did at the beginning of his relationship with his ex and that's why he was a total douche canoe when oc tried to confess (1/?)

Anonymous said:tbh jk is making me v mad, even though he was explicit from the beginning that he didn't want a relationship, because it seems like he's passing on his gaslighting trauma to oc now (if my theory is correct that his ex gaslighted him) with his conflicting actions. i think jk made his own set of new rules following that break up and the fact that oc is bringing those feelings back to him, effectively breaking his rules, resulted in him being such a douche canoe (2/?)

Anonymous said:unlike oc now, i think jk hasn't gotten the chance to confront his ex yet about the abusive aspect of their relationship so he projects his anger and hurt feelings onto other people that would want to date him. like his rxn towards oc was cruel but i think that cruelty stems from his desire to do that to his ex, to make her feel as small/powerless/defeated as he felt as a result of her gaslighting. idk just my thoughts, i hope this theory-crafting wasn't annoying for you Lu (3/3)

Anonymous said:i mean the last line of new rules is you’re getting over him so im gonna be optimistic ab

Anonymous said:hi thank u for writing us that quality smut. it seems to me that jk is in it for sex and companionship. but i do wonder why jk was so jealous of hobi and reader? im sorry if you’ve alr answered that before but bc y/n wants a romantic connection, i wonder who she’ll get it from if she reconciles with jk not ever being able to meet her romantic needs

Anonymous said:i think i'm gonna reread new rules again to get more perspective on this chapter's events; i totally understand what you're saying about JK, his fuckboi ways and the dismissal of platonic feelings, but my mind is used to that shift to romantic feelings in these kinds of stories so i wanna go back and analyze. your stories always get me so worked up :,( i sent asks last night that were probably annoying for you to read (if tumblr didn't eat them) so i'm going back IOT check myself for the future

Anonymous said:Did no one else pick up on jungkook being apparently good at skating on his date with hyejin? Whilst he was terrible at it with the OC...? That was the warning sign for me...

Anonymous said:Something definitely happened in Jungkook’s past for him to have that perspective on relationships. Loved the new chapter of NR, I want you to know that you’re an absolutely amazing writer💛

vickyyy97 said:Wow! The chapter had me on the edge of my seat! My heart was beating so fast! I really want to know the story between him and his ex girlfriend. What happened that made him not go into relationships? Why did he confess if he told her his views on relationships? So many questions! I think Jungkook is scared to go into relationships. Maybe they're not ready. Maybe they need to give their feelings more time. So excited for the time skip! Your writing is absolutely amazing! Take your time please! ❤

Anonymous said:You know the moment when she overheard that they went to skate on a date. I thought that maybe it not him but hyejin took him there? Or is it really him? Is it some kind of his plan? He doesn't want her to catch feeling for him? He is afraid that he hurts her? I'm being ridiculous, right?Then why does he need her to admit that she likes him as well?Oh, he wants her to like him as a good fuxk and a friend.Looking forward to the next chapter (no pressure.just saying.I'll wait as long as I have to)

Anonymous said:✨1// Hello! Silent follower here, hope youre doing well ☺️Just read the new nr update; i loved it and just wanted to share my thoughts hehe. I think of myself as a dense reader (not very good at analysing text 😥) so I’m not sure my interpretation is correct and i apologise if its not! Ahh where do i even begin? Overall i find your portrayal of hook up culture so skillful and accurate.

Anonymous said:✨2// I love the recurring portrayal of the ironic intricacies of hook up culture--the very conflicts and uncertainties people want to avoid when they engage in fwb. I also think your approach to this story and its characters is so raw and refreshing; its so smart the way you integrate some of jungkooks actions so that his thoughts and place in him and oc's relationship are blurred for the readers/oc! The confusion in a lot of your anons i think is a sign of how well youve done it 😅

Anonymous said:✨3// In terms of the whole jungkook-relationship-thing from this update.. jungkook's past relationship clearly affected his view on relationships/what they should be. Maybe he was led to believe that sexual activity should be enjoyed in platonic circumstances? maybe he believes that platonic relationships are stronger than romantic? Or maybe he simply only has platonic feelings for OC-

Anonymous said:✨4// -but is also really expressive/affectionate to his friends, causing her to see his actions as small confessions and eventually developing feelings herself? There r so many different possibilities i can think of but we'll never know until his past is revealed! I’m curious to see what happened. I could keep going abt the things I’m curious abt/love abt this fic & ur writing but this is getting so long kdsndj tysm for ur updates despite being so busy💕💕we rly appreciate all the work u put in!

Anonymous said:New rules is such a wonderful story& I definitely go back to reread each chapter and always end up finding something that makes me love this story more. Thank you for creating something amazing despite being so busy with real life. Also, with the ending of this update,is Jungkook's past relationship with his highschool girlfriend, maybe one of the reasons why he has these views on relationships, the way he does? Almost like a turning point for him, in some ways, to him being who he is now?

Anonymous said:Wasn’t expecting that ending for Chap 9 but I was still awed! That ending makes me want to reread all the chaps leading to the latest because I am guilty of reading them in rose colored glasses. This really makes me think on the amt of romantic undertones I perceived with JK and how false they were. I’m excited where NR is heading because this was unexpected yet in character with how you set the mc and JK from the beginning.

Here are more lovely reactions, theories, and thoughtful questions. I LOVE NEW RULES BOOKCLUB SO MUCH!!! THANK YOU MY LOVELIES