#feel free to either confirm or dispute my theories. i’m curious if anyone else has a tall butt monkey in their life
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I’ve got this new (and not peer-reviewed yet unfortunately) hypothesis that tall people tend to be more accident-prone than the rest of the population
#like just thinking about my family members; the people who tend to be getting in situations through no fault of their own (me; my brother;#my uncle and my stepdad) are all over 6 feet#meanwhile the people who generally live pretty normal lives (mom; grandparents) are 5’4-5’8ish#my uncle is 6’4 and lives like job from the bible. there was a whole period of time when my grandparents would dread hearing the phone ring#because it was inevitably him experiencing a life-altering emergency#i (6’1) am the family black sheep and nothing seems to go normally for me. my brother and stepdad (both 6’3) are both just plain odd#my dad (6’3) also was perpetually in situations and i think my niece (6’) is as well#branching out from my family; my friend’s stepdad (6’7) seems to have crazy shit happen to him often#like he just got chemical burns at work and she has about a million stories of him accidentally eating edibles and being zooted#out of his mind; or experiencing allergy attacks and taking 5 benadryl#ALSO! i used to be absolutely; unreasonably; heartbreakingly in love with this guy who was 6’3 and the STORIES he used to tell…#that man was a magnet for chaos. if something was happening he was in it#so basically my thesis statement is this: there is something about being very tall that puts a target on your back as far as the universe#is concerned. like nothing in my life ever seems to go smoothly. the only time i have a peaceful week is if i lock myself in the house#and sometimes not even then. i dislocated my fucking knee in my house. like……#feel free to either confirm or dispute my theories. i’m curious if anyone else has a tall butt monkey in their life#or is a tall butt monkey#personal
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