#feel free to continue if you want but if not thats totally fine!!!

[phntasmgoria-moved]

@pompedia called the moon:

“ I tried but failed. ” — from Emily to Phanora!!

phanora looked over at emily, walking over with a small smile on her face. the second another undead attempted to strike from behind, the necromancer dispelled it with a swift kick of her heels. she knew that this was the angel's first attempt at dealing with undead, so the witch wasn't going to hold any failure against her. unlike a certain servant she knew......

" don't worry about it, dear. this was your first try, and you did a decent job taking them out. honestly, you're more eager than johan is at this sometimes.... " the air chilled as phanora sighed. " good, emily. be proud that you're better than him. "

[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 [+ 𝐆𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐥] 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐮𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐝 𝐃𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐖𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

↳ includes: dean, sam, castiel, and gabriel

↳ warnings: none

↳ song: dance macabre—ghost

masterlist | commissions | carrd

𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐧

• When Dean first meets you in the middle of bumfuck nowhere on a hunt, he's not surprised that you know his name

• Afterall, he has brought on the apocalypse more than once, and the hunter community isn't exactly known for its ability for people to keep their mouths shut

• What does surprise him, though, is your knowledge on him as a person

• It's nothing creepy— the thought of someone knowing all about him in that way brings him back to where he first met Becky through Chuck, and the thought makes him shudder —but just enough to where it's obvious you've done some digging and people reading of your own

• "Brought back some pie with dinner; didn't know what you wanted so I got apple."

• "Careful handling this case, it's got some nasty demons. We don't want you diving head first into hell. Again."

• "No no, don't use that. It didn't work on that shape-shifter you ganked last year in Massachusetts, so it won't work on this one. Throw it out." You eventually say one night while looking in Baby's trunk for some ammo, and Dean finally turns to face you

• "How did you know that? How do you know any of these things?" He clears his throat, squinting. You shrug with a barely there smile

• "Who do you think cleans up your messes when you're done, Dean? And what can I say. Word gets around."

• It's a simple case of Dean's reputation preceding him. Although, as you discover, there's a lot more to the Winchester than just his precious car, a strange love for greasy food, and his ability to fight off a demon with his bare hands

• "You sure you aren't obsessed with me? Because its totally fine if you're obsessed. I mean, look at me." Dean asks you at one point while gesturing down at himself. He's leaning on his car door in what he probably thought was a sexy manner, watching as you lugged some equipment out to the vehicle. You manage to press your lips together just in time to hide your amused grin

• "Keep dreaming, man." You shake your head. "There's a difference between reading up on people, and stalking them."

• "So you admit it?" He grins misheviously, pushing himself off Baby. "That you've spent your spare time thinking about me?"

• "Sure. And those witnesses never mentioned you'd be this insufferable." You scoff light heartedly, even though thats exactly what some of them said, and leave it at that. But for the rest of the hunt Dean can't stop elbowing you in the ribs to make a playful remark; something that, strangely, you don't find yourself minding

𝐒𝐚𝐦

• Unlike his brother, Sam takes the information that you practically already knew him with a bit of embarrassment

• Sure, he had been (or was supposed to be) Lucifer's vessel, and sure he also had a habit of being at the center of everything world ending, but he never really conciders him anyone other than a hunter that just happens to get the worst cases

• So when you just offhandedly started dropping these facts about him, he's a little off put

• "How'd you know that?"

• "You're literally one of the most infamous hunters to ever exist, Sam. You tangle with angels. Most of us only ever get to meet a werewolf or two before a friend is organizing our funeral the week after."

• "Oh. Right"

• Gets a little curious after a while as to what you exactly know. It's not like he keeps a journal about his feelings that the public can read, and that this point he's just praying you haven't discovered Chuck's Supernatural series, so he'd probably ask you all of what you know and why you know it

• "So you're telling me you've done research on our hunting styles—" Sam asks you while leaning forward. You nod, so he continues. "—and all the people we've ever pissed off?"

• "Call it too much free time, which I certainly don't have enough of these days, but I knew if I ever ran into you two knuckle heads, and I knew it would happen eventually whether I wanted it to or not, then I would need to be prepared." You dragged a hand down your face and exhaled for a moment. "That meant making a checklist of every vamp, demon, or god you've ever had out for your head. And trust me, it's a lot."

• He's silent for a moment after you finish, but it doesn't take long for him to pipe up again

• "Can I see it?"

• Safe to say, after seeing the list, Sam started to rethink some of his past decisions

• "Seriously, how are we not dead yet??"

• "Buddy, I have no idea."

𝐂𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐥

• He does not understand why you seem to know so much about him. Not only as a person, but as an angel

• Castiel is used to the Winchester's asking questions. The first year of knowing them was filled with 'How Did You Do That''s and 'Can You Do This''s. He'd answer all of them, even if he found their questions to be on a kindergarten level most of the time, until eventually they had no more to ask

• You hadn't been like that. Castiel doesn't think he could ever recall you asking him things unless they were about hunts or special circumstances, like the time Sam lost his soul. Hell, you seemed to know more about him than some angels knew about themselves

• Grace knowledge, wing anatomy, biblical lore—you name it and Castiel's probably heard it come out of your mouth at some point

• He gets around to asking you about it one day, albeit very bluntly

• "You don't ask questions." Castiels voice sounds from behind you. You don't even bother to turn around; you heard his wings flutter the moment before he dropped in

• "What do you mean Cas?" You sucked some air between your teeth as you scribbled away at the papers before you. It was something Sam had asked you to follow up on, and you'd been at it for a hot minute now. Hopefully you could make this conversation quick so you could get back to it

• "About angels." A beat of silence. "About me."

• This time you do turn around in your seat to look at him. He's already studying you with that silent squint, and you resist the urge to mirror it

• "Why would I ask questions I already know the answers to?" You parry. The case papers lay on the table, forgotten by now. Your response gets you a rare, but endearing, Cas head tilt

• Upon further questioning, he finds out you'd spent a lot of your early hunting years doing nothing but reading up on anything remotely supernatural. Even calling them 'hunting years' was a stretch. You were more like a crazed researcher that never left the library than a hunter, even resorting to keep mountains upon mountains of notes on ancient lore stored away in the margins of dusty books

• "That's certainly explains why you weren't surprised when we met for the first time and I healed you." Cas's low voice drawled slowly after you gave him a moment to interject. "Or how you knew the symbol for sending us back to heaven before Dean or Sam ever did."

• "Like I said." You smiled to yourself, and Castiel got the feeling he was missing a part of the joke. "Lots of reading."

𝐆𝐚𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐥

• Do not bring up that you used to have an angel phase back in college. Under no circumstances should you reveal that. He will never let you live it down

• Especially if he finds out you used to study artwork and literature about him specifically

• It's all over the moment he finds your old school books. They're stuffed full of old crinkled pages with his name thrown in there. Of course, this was way back when the idea of angels being real was laughable to you and you still had dreams of graduating college, but that doesn't change to fact that the notes are there, and that Gabriel found them

• "Wait wait wait listen to this—" An old binder is clutched in the hands of a very amused and very heavenly being as he paces around your spot at a table. His eyes are skimming the pages as a speed quicker than light, and Gabriel's shit eating smile grows as he continues to read

• "The archangel Gabriel isn't depicted as much as his brothers Micheal or Lucifer in classic literature, but when he is, it is often as a symbol of great power and beauty—"

• "I'm going to kill you." You cut him off and groan with hot cheeks. Your hands had come up to cover your face a while ago in an attempt to keep what little dignity you had, but something told you it wasn't working

• "Glad to know you think I'm beautiful, sweet cheeks." Was all Gabriel said. You could hear the teasing lit in his voice. Sure enough, when you looked up to glare at him, he was already looking at you and wiggling his brows suggestively. It took you a total to three seconds to throw the closest thing at his head

• "Hey hey! Watch the beautiful goods!" He laughed while dodging a pencil. It his his chest anyway and bounced to the ground with a dull thud

• "Gabriel." Your tone was downright murderous

• "Okay, okay! I'll stop!"

• He does, in fact, not stop. Someone restrain him for the love of Chuck, for he is getting way too much enjoyment out of poking fun at you

• You're gonna have to avoid him for the next few weeks after that if you want to keep your embarassment levels to a minimum. No other way around it

• Let's just hope he never realizes you had to spend time in art class analyzing renaissance paintings of him in the nude. Now that would be the conversation to end all conversations

• "Heyyy, you never told me you had an art folder—"

• Oh shit.

[vampirememory]

quality ✧ do you need to lower or raise your standards? [Love PAC]

Hello! I believe this is my first pick a card of 2024, I hope you appreciate the topic I chose. This is something that I recently had to recognize and deal with myself, so hopefully you find this reading helpful.

Pick a photo or a number one through three and continue reading to find your reading.

One

No, absolutely not. If anything, your standards are too low. You are like me, at least myself a few weeks/months ago when I did not value myself. You need to understand that you are 100% valuable and loved, and that there is nothing that can depreciate your value. You may have been overconsuming readings, questioning as to why you continue getting into toxic relationships or completely lack a relationship and it's because you have a negative sense of self. Listening to self-worth or self concept subliminals may help you. You are worthy of a healthy, happy relationship but you need to be healthy yourself first. Now keep in mind, healthy does not mean without illnesses. I know from my experience with depression, I will never be healthy, but you CAN have a healthy outlook on life and a healthy sense of self, which is what you are looking for. Especially for my mentally ill friends, no one (not here, at least) is expecting you to be 100% healthy but to be as healthy as you can be, if that makes sense.

Two

Girlie, I hate to tell you but your standards are high as fuck. But is that a bad thing? You tell me. To be clear, when I say girlie I am 100% being gender neutral, this reading is for everyone ^-^! You're giving boss bitch energy, but are you actually a boss bitch? One thing about having high standards is that you also need to meet those standards yourself and you need to ask yourself "would someone like that want to date me"? For example, if you're really aiming for a basketball player or the top CEO, are you actually in a mental and physical space where that will happen? Are you out on the courts, networking and integrating yourself into sports environments? Are you working your way up to the top, making connections with higher ups and building a good reputation? I think you may have good standards, but you aren't reaching them yourself or not putting yourself in environments where you'll meet said person. Also make sure you are actually maintaining those standards too. If you think education is important, and you're actively in education and want someone else who is too, why settle for someone who hates education or isn't looking to educate themselves? Things like that make all the difference. If you want to talk the talk, you need to walk the walk too.

Three

This pile gives me much softer vibes than the other two piles. Your standards and romantic requests may be more traditional, you may want the house and the kids and the white picket fence and that's totally fine! I think you're doing well in terms of your standards, you uphold them and you aren't putting yourself in situations where you are with people who are against that dream or against those standards. I do need to warn you, however, that there are a lot of exploitive people out there, especially when it comes to wanting a more traditional homelife. Waiting is a completely fine thing to do. Don't jump at the first person that looks nice and ticks all the boxes because they may be lying. I don't see terrible things happening for you but I feel like I needed to include a warning. Just be careful and you'll get your wishes <3.

Thats all for today my friends! Check out my masterlist for my previous readings and remember to stay safe in this crazy world! Feel free to send asks with any topics you would like to see in the future.

[morningstar-chronicles]

Could you give me some mean shifting/manifesting motivation I keep procrastinating and you seem like the type to be able to do that(I mean that in the nicest way possible and i rlly like ur posts:3)

this is so sweet omg i might be bad at motivation but i'll try so hard for u

imagine:

your s/o (if you have one) hugging you and they smell like them and it's soft and it's warm and it feels like home

your parents telling you they're proud of you (ok this one was me projecting a little but shhhh)

all the different types of food and drinks there'll be!!! you could literally script in anything isn't that insane??

your wardrobe!!!

your ideal friend group going out to clubs or for late night drives where you get to pick the music or grabbing coffee/tea with you

all the endless things you could learn!!! you have an eternity to do it after all!!!

you can make magic real??? thats insane to me!!

me personally i'm excited about my perfumes/makeup selection in my DRs 😌

gender euphoria!!!

living without fear of getting hate-crimed would be nice methinks 🥲

general main character syndrome is totally fine because it's literally your DR babes ahhhhh 🫶 you have full ability to be a total mary sue and literally no one will bat an eye if you don't want them to. have as many mc moments as you like!!!

you can experience new colours if you want to. you could have a wider colour range available to you. have the corneas of a butterfly idk

or you could smell new scents or hear new sounds!! experience things beyond mortal human comprehension!

you could even shift to a reality where shifting itself is normalized and is a common practice

me personally i'm shifting to somewhere where my religion is more mainstream and i get sabbats off of school/work 😗

other blogs please feel free to continue the chain!!! i tried to come up with as many as i could but i'm eepy tonight 😞

[pumpkinsy0]

can you pls write some hcs about curly and johnny fighting over pony’s attention and being jealous when pony favors one over the other

of course!!

•unlike the others when it comes to johnny hes more reserved on what he actually thinks about curly, if u asks johnny how he feels hes not rlly gonna say his actual feelings, if pony asks how he feels anout curly, he just goes “if he makes u happy thats fine w me” he’d say as hes NOT looking at pony

•but like hes ponys bff brah, if pony likes em, shit maybe theres something the gang aint seein that pony does, but hes not 100% on board w it

•maybe their beef started bc pony would hang out w one of em for a longish time, then drop them for a bit and hang out w the other, and it was a cycle and theyre SO tired and think its the others fault or somethin

•ANYWAYS I KNOWWWW they talk shit about each other in their different language, and pony always hears but they dont say wtf the said in english, for ponys peace of mind he assumes its something good

•when ponys going back to hang out w the other, ponys wearing or at least has SOMETHING from the other one, and they do this as a stupid tactic to get in the others head thats like “pony was hanging out w me, cry about it lol”

•ITS NOT EVEN THAT PONY FAVORS ONE OVER ANOTHER, he just prefers the other over in certain situations bc he thinks theyre better at handling it

•like w socs, pony would rather curly, not that johnny cant fight, but bc curly has better fighting skills and can fight 2 ppl at one believe it or not and he just happens to b around curly when theres trouble around most of the time, then, would rather johnny when hes feeling emotional bc johnnys just better equipped at dealing w emotions and he also just so happens to get more into his emotions when johnnys around, so on and so forth

• the real problem is they just genuinely dont see that all so much and think theyre the problem, like theyre lacking in that department or somethin, but nah, rlly just a matter of circumstance

•when curlys over at a gang hang out, sometimes johnny catches him staring at pony and so he somehow gets pony to stick with him and they both go over to dallas, extra measure so curly thinks twice on heading over to em

•johnny absolutely felt a type of way when he found out pony and curly got matching scars from that fuck ass chicken game, bc not even HIM and pony have matching scars and they r basically inseparable, what kinda bc is that, he knows its stupid but still

• when johnny and pony go to the drive in, curly sometimes pops up, and johnny and curly arent even watching the movie, pony wants snacks and they both r like “I’LLL get it pony dw” and they both get pony snacks just shaking their head bc they think they have snacks pony would like more than the others choices

•curly put his arm around pony and johnny gave that lil side eye that dogs do

•this is like the only time ponys not stopping them, hes getting free snacks, ofc hes letting them continue

•i swear they NEVER actually talk to each other, like sat down and have a convo, they just have a petty competition, at best theyve said like 10 total words to each other at some point

•ponys actually not clueless when it comes to their beef w each other, he knows how awkward and tense it us when all 3 of em r in a room together, he doesnt exactly do much to stop it cause he doesnt get HOW whats going on between them is happening, but he tries not to let it escalate

[banzaitaka]

Can i request jojos from part 1 to 5 having a s/o thats basically like childe( tartaglia) from genshin impact?

---

I feel like I've seen smore (genshin character) like reader than any other ogrids0fgou not a bad thing, just an observation

jgfodsijgfoid watch me regret making this into scenarios dsijfosjf M sorry, Josuke and Giorno barely got any sentences, so I decided to cut them out

(1) Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Masterlist

I hope this is what you wanted & you enjoy reading!

TW: tiny mention of blood in Joseph's & Jotaro's part

Jonathan Joestar x gn! reader

Joseph Joestar x gn! reader

Jotaro Kujo x gn! reader

Family

Someone could list off all dark traits about you, all the violence, all the mischief, all betrayal, and still, Jonathan would look at you with eyes that hold nothing, but love. He believes actions don't determine good or bad, but instead the reasoning behind them, as well as the person's feelings. A thief isn't automatically a bad person, for example, they might be starving or try to save someone with medicine.

He didn't see any reason to put you with the bad people. While your ways might seem kind of...unnecessarily brutal at times, what's in your heart has become clear to him. The way you care for your family...the first time he witnessed you playing with a relative way younger than you, he could feel his heart melt. Jonathan did not hesitate to agree to play along with the image you put up infront of your family. After all, you do it to keep them safe, to keep them happy and with no worries.

Although, he does talk to you about it from time to time. Because on the other side, even though your intentions cause no direct harm towards them, they're your family. And they deserve to know what your're going through. For your sake as well. But he is in no place to tell you what to do, hence why he plays along and only ever gives you little nudges.

The lenghts you go to protect your family is admirable to him and he would not hesitate to jump in to assist if it was ever needed. After all, you would do the same.

Trick Up Your Sleeve

"(Y/N)!!"

Joseph was watching you crash into a wrecked hut, a good distance away. Ceasar was doing his best to hold him back from barging in your direction, "Don't involve yourself, it's (Y/N) battle to fight!" Grinding his teeth, the brunette continued to stare, eyes looking for you. He knew this fight was personal, part of your duty, and something you genuinely enjoyed, but he wouldn't dare letting you get hurt beyond repair.

Your enemy panted, forcing out a chuckle, "Got you at last..."

That's when the wodden planks of the hut started to shake, light illuminating through the gaps. They gasped, almost choking on the blood in their mouth. You broke free with a roar, sending the planks flying in all directions. Joseph's breath got caught in his throat. He took in your form...You were much bigger, looking almost inhuman with the mask planted on your face. Was this really you??

"What the hell is going on!?"

"It's the last trick up their sleeve.", Ceasar explained calmly, finally letting go of the other, "I don't know the details myself, only that they rarely actually use it."

Your enemy was frozen from shock, all the color left their face. They could barely hold themself up from all the blows they already recieved. And you...You looked perfectly fine, steadily walking up to them while drawing your weapon once again.

It was over.

"What the heck was that thing you were doing!? Why didn't you tell me about that before!? I'm your boyfriend! You gotta tell me!", Joseph was all over you, kneeling beside the couch you were laying on. You were still feeling extremely drained, but you stopped panting at least, "You don't just reveal your biggest weapon.", you replied with a smug smile. Joseph pouted, leaning closer to your face, "Then how does Ceasar know about it?"

You chuckled, "We've known eachother for years. He saw me use it maybe three times in total? Really, it's nothing personal, buddy."

The brunette crossed his arms as he leaned back again, "I guess it was a cool plot twist.", he grinned, "Just wait, I'll leave you surprised, absolutely baffled next time we face a foe!" And it became a challenge to both.

Violence

While this is not the language Jotaro prefers to speak, violence plays a huge part on the mission to save his mother. And you, his partner, happen to speak that language fluently. You've been dubbed bloodthirsty by numerous students in your school, leaving those who only knew you by your less dark side in confusion.

Your fight spirit paired with your experiences gives Jotaro enough reason to be able to depend on you. You could control yourself when you needed, and knew when you could let loose to dispose of your enemies quick. You were on a time schedule after all.

The sound of your panting used to be foreign to your boyfriend, but he grew acustomed to it during the trip to egypt. The joy on your face was an odd sight, giving the situation. He managed to look past that, however. He knew you cared. You chuckled as you looked up to him from your position on the floor, "That was quite fun, wasn't it?"

Instead of answering you, he let himself sink to the floor next to you, and let you lean against him. A sigh fell from your lips as silence was about to arise, "I know this is different from what you used to see from me. I mean- more extreme.", you tilted your head to look up at him again, "Do you still want to be with me?"

Jotaro glanced at you from out of the corner of his eye, "You should rest and wipe the blood off your face."

[ao3-deviance]

oh my im sorry to hear inspiration has been tough to find for u. im struggling with the same thing too, artwise (´。＿。｀)

as for krbk ideas, i have a few if youd like to hear!

-mermaids krbk ( maybe in the courting stage? getting shiny pearls n treasures from the bottom of the ocean for each other!! a dead dolphin too maybe? ) -hybrid au ! maybe with alpha leopard bakugou and dog/wolf beta kirishima -oh ohh !!! i love how u write kirishima taking care of a tired bakugo....with the nonsexual intimacy...with a sprinkle of subspace mmm MMM !! -a band au could be very fun too !! krbk being in a bad together or bakugou being the drummer of the original band in bnha and kirishima being a big fan and meeting his idol -the bakusquad ( exception of krbk ) get turned into dogs? or lil animals n krbk are to take care of them and is super soft and cute thats all that i could come up with !! (^///^)

sorry for the long ask and of course feel free to ignore this if none of them cought ur eye !! im a big fan of ur works so thank u for all the wonderful fics u shared with us so far !!! hope ull feel better soon !!

ο(=•ω＜=)ρ⌒☆

Thank you for the prompts! I kind of got inspired/combined two of your prompts, mermen KiriBaku and nonsexual intimacy!

This one could be a stand alone or could be a continuation of my series A.S.A.H. (All Sharks Are Himbos). Whatever you prefer!

Hope you enjoy!

-----My Siren Gets Clean-----

Bakugou brushed a coral comb through Kirishima's hair, allowing himself a moment of peace hidden away in their den. 

"Hey."

Bakugou hummed, looking down to see Kirishima's eyes peeking open to stare at him. The bull shark mer immediately smiled once Bakugou met his gaze, the affection clear enough to send a blush to Bakugou's face. 

"I wanted to ask…before you did it yourself," Kirishima said, "could I help you this month? With your cleaning?"

If Bakugou had thought he was blushing before, that was nothing compared to now. His face was as red as the tips of his fins as he shoved Kirishima off him. 

"The fuck?! You can't just ask to–"

"I'm sorry!" Kirishima shouted over him. "I don't mean to pressure you! If you're not ready–"

"Who said I wasn't ready?!" Bakugou demanded.

"No one, I just mean that it's a really personal ask, if you want to wait, that's totally cool! Or if you never want my help, that's also fine! I'm sorry I brought it up so suddenly." 

Bakugou crossed his arms, embarrassed and frustrated. He wasn't angry at Kirishima; it was a fair ask since they'd been courting for months, and they'd both already accepted the courtship for good. It was just an embarrassing thing for Bakugou. 

Sirens–unlike most marine species–tended to sing while sitting on reefs or rocks or other things above the waterline. They were one of the few species able to stay in the air for extended periods. However, the trade off of this was that on occasion they had to clean off any pesky barnacles or algae that clung to them in…delicate places due to the constant transition between spaces. Bakugou honestly hated that time of the month, and if he wasn't so careful about maintaining his own health, he might even skip it for the awkwardness alone. There were…certain areas that required additional eyes and hands to get to, and he despised letting other sirens assist. Most of them avoided him when it came time for the task, though he had a handful of other mer he would forcibly wrangle into helping him, depending on which was the least painful at the time.

So no, he wasn't mad that Kirishima might be interested in helping him. He was more mad that it was even necessary. Still, the longer he thought about it, it would probably be less painful to direct Kirishima in where to look versus having to deal with Uraraka's chipper attitude or stupid Deku's constant muttering about him changing colors or new fin growth.

"This isn't a yes," Bakugou warned, pointing at him, "but it's not a no either. Let me think about it."

Kirishima beamed, bumbling closer in the already tight den so he could wrap Bakugou up in his arms, accidentally scraping Bakugou's lower half with the rough hide of his tail. "Whatever your choice, I'll accept," Kirishima promised, as if Bakugou had any doubt. "I'm really happy you'd even consider it."

"Well fuck, you're going to be my mate, aren't you?" Bakugou mumbled, looking away. "Not like you won't see everything eventually anyways."

Kirishima squeezed him even harder, like he couldn't contain his enthusiasm at the idea. 

…..

"Fuck, okay," Bakugou said, fins fluttering stiffly. "You're a brute, so be fucking careful, alright? I don't need my backside fileted. Most sirens use shells to get the barnacles off, but you can probably manage fine with your nails since they're so hard." Bakugou studied Kirishima's hand, not at all stalling. 

"Hey," Kirishima called, gently pushing Bakugou's head up until he met his gaze. "I promise to be gentle. I want to help you, Katsuki." He leaned closer, nuzzling under an earfin, softly setting his teeth against his skin in a shark's kiss. 

Bakugou sighed, relaxing against him. "Okay," he agreed. Kirishima smiled, nipping his jaw before he grabbed Bakugou by his hips and turned him around.  

There was a level of humiliation when it came to his monthly cleaning that Bakugou hated. Having to swim upside down was awkward enough, but having to flare out all of his fins and leaving himself on display while someone inspected him wasn't his idea of a good time. Bakugou, in another unfortunate genetic lottery fact, was related to the lionfish species, meaning he had a lot of fins, which was the main reason he wasn't able to get to them all by himself.

Bakugou tried to just put it all outside his mind as he had to do every month when Deku or Uraraka handled this for him, and he rolled over, fanning out his fins for Kirishima's assessment. 

"Wow."

Kirishima's quiet exclamation immediately had him on high alert, tensing. 

"What?" He demanded harshly. "Just because I'm–"

"You're beautiful," Kirishima said, cutting through Bakugou's defensiveness with his quiet adoration. His hands brushed across a few of the thinner fins, leaving Bakugou shivering. "Are you steady? You can hold onto my tail if that helps."

Kirishima started to comb his fingers through the forest of prickly fins from Bakugou's tail. At the first catch of a stray barnacle, Kirishima's fingers deftly plucked it off without pause, and Bakugou was immediately sent reeling at such a soft touch compared the shell-fight the others usually had to put up with to get him clean. He slammed his eyes shut at the well of vulnerability, reaching out blindly for the shark mer's tail and just hanging on, not unlike a seahorse tangled with its mate. He took a few deep breaths, relaxing against the other as two more barnacles were removed from their annoying hiding spot, Kirishima soothing the irritated scales with his fingers before moving on. 

Cleaning Bakugou took hours of meticulous work, but Kirishima didn't complain once. He even started humming partway through, and Bakugou could feel the sounds thrumming through his entire body. He didn't feel uncomfortable and adrift anymore; he just felt held, cared for. Kirishima's touch was never aggressive and he was methodical in moving through Bakugou's fins so he didn't miss a single spot. Eventually Bakugou's tail found itself wrapped over the shark mer's shoulder, the blond siren completely lax against Kirishima who wasn't even slightly phased at having to hold Bakugou's weight while grooming the blond's tail. 

"Almost done, I think," Kirishima murmured quietly, one hand resting on the small of Bakugou's back as he held the other close while his other hand combed through the last of Bakugou's dorsal fins and spines. 

Bakugou could only hum in response, feeling too settled to do anything else. 

"There we go," Kirishima announced, now just holding Bakugou. "You okay?"

"I'm good," Bakugou said drowsily, blinking slowly. 

"Wasn't so bad," Kirishima teased him, gently coaxing him back upright. "You're usually ready to fight whenever you have a cleaning, but now you're just a jellyfish puddle. Are you sure I did it right?" 

"You did it fucking perfectly," Bakugou assured him, wiggling and twisting his tail and spines to make sure he couldn't feel any barnacles still clinging to him. He felt cleaner than usual even, like Kirishima may have found a few hanger-ons that had been missed in prior months. 

Kirishima smiled, hands resting on Bakugou's hips. "I did? So I can do it again, maybe?" 

Bakugou actually looked at him then, surprised to see genuine pleasure and hope on his face. Siren cleaning was a boring chore every month, why would he want to do it when he didn't have to?

"I guess," Bakugou agreed with a shrug, "if you want to. Whatever. Sure."

Kirishima's tail wriggled happily and he immediately swept Bakugou into a tight embrace. "Thanks, Katsuki! I promise to do my best every time!"

Bakugou blinked, a bit taken aback by his enthusiasm, but slowly managed to relax into his hold. "Idiot," he accused, even as he softly ran his clawed hands up the other's strong back, returning the hug. 

He'd never understand shark mers. 

[leynaeithnea]

Oh yeah good call doing this song by song becase our essays are getting so long it's illegal at this point haha

Before we get into it, one of the chorus is "kill for love"? DAMN , that's totally not gonna ruin me at all, nu-uh I'll be super fine for sure

Okay let's go

This song is literally my fave of the saga, stuck in my head on repeat because of the melody and the beautiful vocals but also the story?? She is actually a siren trying to trick him but he pulls out a uno reverse card and tricks her even harder ??? Once again LYING CUNNING CHARACTERS FOR THE WIN AJSKSNBSB

Also I'm so jealousy of you bc I did not have it in me to wake up in the middle of the night for the stream but I wanted to see it so baaad, I would have been even more confused than you at 5am don't worry your wild theories are valid

Their little banter is impeccable "answer some questions for me please ?🥺" " Of course babe 🤭🙃" let's say I was on the run from Poseidon that big meanie 😔" " Oh nOo pookie poor you 🥺" They are so unserious !!! And then the vocals in her reply keep me up at night " sailing where he's scared to roam" is done so majestically akdmndns

Can't fight you on this , Ody saying he's shy and terrified is so fuckin funny and random hahahah

Oh good gods don't let me think about it because I know ,I KNOW HE'S PRETENDING A LITTLE BIT THIS IS REALLY HIS PENELOPE AND IT HURTS SO BAD the way he says he'd die for her and he misses her so much , "more than you know "because the siren actually doesn't know , she has no idea how much he misses his wife asakkksnns free my boy he deserves some smooches from his wifeee

( I love how you keep slipping Neil in the conversation and I do not fault you for it bc liars= Neil-Josten-hiding-his-whole-ass-murderer-father-with-ties-to-the-japanese-mafia-like-it's-nothing )

ALRIGHT I have a bit energy again

I agree with everything u said moving to the next song now!

22. Different Beast

the arrow followed by this ear piercing screaming (good think they all had beeswax in their ears fr)

ODY IS SO MAD "lets cut the charade you are no wife of mine" I almost feel like he hates the Siren even more for DARING to pretend to be Penelope, and making him yearn for her even more

the music in that one is also soooo sinister and creepy

and how his voice changes with "i know underwater theres packs of you hiding, yeah i know exactly what you are, a siren" its so vicious and cunning iTS soo good

Then the siren hiss seigsegj

AND THEN THE DRUMs when he starts singing "my real wife knows im not scared of the water, and my real wife knows i dont have a daughter" like the drums rise when he speaks and between the lines and when the strings or whatever they are come up again, the drum gets quieter again for a moment only to rise up again when he speaks...its so cool, i love this drum beat, which continues while he tells his whole big-brain plan (love how we see Odys hubris in this one, he gets so smug about his plans with the sirens that he spends a whole song explaining it to us, on one hand its exposition and him just recalling what happened for story purposes but also it fits the character for his pride - which in the myth is also his fatal flaw - takes over)

also "we are a different beast now" chorus: basically is just "we are the monsters rawr rawr rawr"

"we've been away from home for ABOUT 12 YeARS OR SO" JORGE; JORGE WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID HERE

I've also been wondering, i kind of feel like the ryhtm of the music doesnt fully-align with the lyrics bc theyre shifting between singing and sing-talking, and ive been wondering if thats maybe like a suble sign that acutally Ody and the crew dont hear a thing rn? kinda? idk, i dont have enoguh knowledge about music theory to actually explain the sort of dissonance i feel is happening, it could also just be done like this to showcase how theyre the different beasts now

Sirens singing "spare us" is eery and pretty

Odys embracing the lesson people have been trying to teach him throughout act 1 finially "why, so you can kill the next group of sailirs in this part of the sea, nah you wouldve spared me"

"cut of their tails we're ending this now, throw their bodies back int he water let them drown" HE IS THE MONSTER RAWR RAWR RAWR

AND THen the CHOIR LYRIcs shift to "HE is a different beast now, he is the one to feast now" (i lowkey imagine him just snacking on some Siren tail in that line ngl, the only way the lyrics "the ones to feast now" makes sense is if they literally feasted on these tails, it would also explain why Ody specifically wanted to cut of their tails)

also Ody plss "Kill them all"...ow, but fair i suppose, but you couldve just slit their throats

ADN THEN The last lyrics being "Odysseus" omg gsiejgisejg love it

Also i dont know when this shifted from "my favorite lines in the musical" to "my reaction and analysis to every song" but by now im just vibing with it

[fuckyeah-bears]

The thing is for me personally tho, this is so fuckin important right now but its always felt like you were a constant break in a sea of political content. Im asking you as politely as i can please dont stop the bears because of how much they help give a space to sit and think about the barrage of shit just going on and on in the world that just feels like the worlds on fire and we have nothing to put it out with. If you need to stop the bears thats totally fine too, I'll find something else. Because your mental, physical, and emotional well-being come before any need for bears.

Lots of love

A person you turned into the biggest bear lover his friends know <3

i won't stop posting bears. i promise. but i am going to scale back on how many posts a day i do. right now i'm looking at 1 prescheduled post a day instead of my previous 3 per day.

i understand how necessary a break from reality is, which is why i created bearotonin in the first place. and i will continue to run it. but for me, it just makes me feel so utterly sick and wrong to go on business as usual and ignoring the horrific atrocity going on right now. because that's what the whole fucking world is doing. that's what the media is doing. that's what almost all our countries are doing. just pretending it's not happening or it's not that bad. and i can't do that. i can't act like that. it makes me feel sick to my stomach just thinking about being part of that.

especially because i have some degree of a platform with bearotonin and i feel like i morally need to be using it. but i still want bearotonin to be a refuge and haven for people who need it.

so i've decided that i will keep running bearotonin. and in order for it to be a haven, it has to be an escape from the real world, with no reference or mention to real world stuff on it. but i can't just do business as usual and pretend nothing is happening. i literally could not live with myself for doing that. so my compromise is to reduce the volume of bear posts. i will still be providing daily bear programming to make life bearable. but just less than before.

this blog however, will not be that 'haven'. because i need to speak up against what's going on. and i have more followers here than i do on main. so i may occasionally post bears here. but i'm also going to keep posting a lot of what's happening to palestine. because i need to. it is the bare (bear) fucking minimum i can do as a human being to stand by palestine and not be silently complicit in another genocide

Free Palestine 🇵🇸

[lesbianaglaya]

wait hi please elaborate on your process of gift giving, im taking notes

happily :)))

planning ahead. okay so it depends first of all on how well you know the person. for my close friends + family (who are generally the people im getting gifts for) i try to listen and make note of when they mention something that might be a good gift! for example my mother was just talking about a rice pearl bracelet she had as a child that she wore till it fell apart. I know a local jewelry store that is both in my price range and makes things in my mother's style, looked on their website, and found a very similar bracelet that i could afford. gift found! planning also involves thinking ahead . im getting that for her for christmas, which is months away, but i know near christmas she'll be reluctant to mention things like that because people get weird about wanting gifts. it can also be less intense than that. my friend's birthday is this week, but a few months back i saw a necklace I knew she'd like at a charity sale and bought it. having the present ahead of time aslo helps prevent desperation in the days leading up to the event!

asking. It is so totally cool to ask people what they want. often they will prevaricate but if you say i am getting you a gift no matter what and you will be helping me by giving me ideas and they will concede. for example here my friend likes wool socks. i knit. i make them wool socks as gifts. i know to do this because i said 'i am going to knit you something. what would you like' and they told me! if youre worried about ruining the surprise the trick is to elevate their suggestion. to continue with the socks example, im not only making my friend a pair of wool socks, but i found a 1950s mens checked sock pattern that really fits their style! even just the added historical aspect, i know, will make my friend more excited about the gift.

utility. i think this is what really matters actually. i try to always find a gift idea that the person will absolutely use. fun little kitschy stuff is fine especially if youre in a rush, but its never going to be really exciting. giving people something that is helpful really makes receiving the gift exciting. getting someone who sews a needle book, or someone who loves music concert tickets allows them to see as soon as they get the gift how it makes their life more fun, or easier, or solves a problem for them. utility is used pretty generally here — a bracelet isnt necessary, but i know my mother will wear it. the goal is to find something that wont sit in a drawer forever till it gets donated.

for people you dont know as well, gift cards are great. try to figure out something they will (again) find useful, get them a gift card, and then elevate it by including a handmade object like a piece of embroidery, homemade cookies, a handmade pretty paper box, etc. if youre not at all able to make things thats also fine! this is where utility can be let go a little. go to a local souvenir or gift shop and find a small thing that suits their taste. this immediately makes the gift card feel way more personal and thoughtful. If youre short on cash, for people close to you offer a service: a baking day with your mother, a movie night with a friend where every time youre the one who gets up to refill drinks, a scavenger hunt youve invented at a free museum together. the real key is a personal element. even a handmade card that suits the person can be more exciting to receive than an expensive gift that isnt their style or taste.

[rp-partnerfinder]

discord paladinkeith

Hello and howdy!

My name is keith, im 27 years old, looking for a 1x1, timezone is CST, though my hours are crazy wonky so I doubt it’ll really affect any potential partner whether you’re across the pond or anywhere else lol.

Since i am a little older, i’m only looking for somebody who’s also in their 20’s, rping with teens–even older ones–is a no go for me.

Fandom wise, right now i'm scouring tumblr and discord for one specific rp:

Resident Evil

Leon kennedy x luis serra

I have indeed been bitten by the re4 remake bug!

Im all about plotting, and while i have a few basic plots, id love partner feedback to help build something really cool! Whether thats AU, pre-game, post-game, canon divergence, nsfw or sfw, anything is game.

Conversationally im pretty lax (obvs) but while rping i do need someone at least semi-lit. I only rp in paragraph format (sorry, its just the only style im comfortable with). Also, we all have lives and jobs and such, and while theoretically id like to be able to respond several times in one day, that doesn't usually happen lol. On a low day i might not reply at all, or just once (though this is not common, and i will do my best to let my partner know if it’s gonna be a day like that). Short term or long term is fine, im not picky.

I tend to be friends (or at least friendly) with my rp partner(s), so if its okay I’d like to make a server just for my partner and i to rp in so we can have different channels just for chatting/plotting/rping whatever. Im totally cool with doubling up or both of us playing multiple characters. I know ashley is pretty integral to leon and luis, so i have no problem being her for a scene or something as needed. Same thing with characters like chris or claire, ect. I dont mind taking the role of leon or luis, i dont have a preference– this will be the first time im rping either of them (though ive been rping in general since i was, like, eleven) so the first few replies will be a learning curve for me regardless of trying to get their personalities down and whatever.

My dms are always open!! Pls hit me up with any questions or whatever. I have in the past roleplayed like a billion different anime fandoms (mha, naruto, soul eater, blah, blah) and have had a special interest in the hobbit/ lord of the rings/ warrior cats/ redwall since ever and write fanfiction for the hobbit (bagginshield my beloved), so if somebody reads this and maybe wants to hit me up for something around there, feel free!! Though i will be continuing my search for a serrenedy partner lol

Anyway this is long enough!! Thank you for reading, have a good day/night everyone <3

.

[kaldurahms-lover]

hey 😧 I'm not sure if you're taking requests right now, though I'm assuming you are, if not feel free to ignore this!!

with that being said... can I request an oikawa (or any hq character your comfy with, was jus putting a name frfr) x gender neutral reader comfort fic (or hcs, whichever you're comfy with :)) ? I'm not gonna go heavy into detail but I've been having family issues lately with my guardian and idk, comfort fics hit different. only if you're comfortable though!!

I hope you're having a good day/night and make sure to drink water, take breaks, and get the proper rest you need!!! :)

Pairing: oikawa x gender neutral! reader

Warnings: fluff, prob too much straight dialogue as is usual for me, fluff ofc

Word Count: 299

A/N: okay he's totally gonna be out of character cause i havent really rewatched in a while, ive just been interacting with the fandom BUT ITS FINE. also, i'm always accepting requests, im just not always posting them.... idk, ive lost my touch for tumblr 😓 but anyways, continue! hope you love, and thank you for the kind words, you make sure you rest and drink water too <333

Tooru Oikawa isn't stupid. He knows a call in the middle of the night means something is wrong. Things for y/n weren't always great at home, but things had been worse lately.

"Tooru? *sniffles*"

"hey gorgeous, whats wrong?"

"im sorry if i woke you up–"

"hey, hey, id rather you wake me up when you need me than be alone okay? whats going on?"

"can i come over?"

"of course sweetheart, always. coming through the window or the door?"

He could hear them laughing through their tears on the other side of the call.

"probably the window"

"then i'll leave it open for you. do you want me to stay on the phone until you get here?"

"im okay."

"alright, be safe okay?"

"okay, ill see you in a bit, bye"

"bye sweetheart"

~~~

And 10 minutes later, there they were. The moment y/n was in the window, Tooru had his arms around them.

"it's okay, it's okay honey i'm here. do you wanna tell me what happened?"

"god my guardian... they're just so.... UGH, i don't even wanna get into it...."

"thats okay, do you wanna lay down?"

"yeah, yeah okay..."

The two of them walked over, Oikawa laying down first so that y/n could lay on his chest before his arms went back around them.

"get some rest my love, i'll be right here if you need anything, and im sure all the crying has worn you out."

"are you sure?"

"yeah. i love you"

"i love you too, thank you for this"

"i don't know what you're thanking me for"

He kissed their forehead gently

"*laughs* hey you missed"

"sorry sweetheart, just didn't know if you'd want to since you're upset"

He kissed them properly

"now sleep. we'll talk in the morning."

[rottencoreflesh101]

Note:

Warning: Kny Spoilers, discussion of aged up characters, mentions of MAPs, mentions of CSA.

I wanna start off saying that I simply do not mind if after this if y’all don’t want to support me and that’s totally fine. You can block or unfollow me however it does best for you.

My Opinion: I don’t mind aged up characters and I wont stop making them bc I simply do not like working with children. If I wanna draw Tanjiro, I will draw Tanjiro from my AU (unless its an unproblematic comm), Tanjiro is 19 years old in my au, same age as me. Genya on the other hand is 20 years old in my au and this is the Genya I use for every post I make about him.

Yes, aging up characters is a problematic subject but It all really depends how it’s portrayed for me. Please make sure the character you are aging up looks like an adult and not like their canonical child look.

Take in mind that fictional characters don’t grow up like us real humans. So we as the fandom create aus where characters grow up and do grown up stuff. Genya in this case, he canonically dies but in my au he survived his death and grew up and so on and on he continues to live his life, aging up, killing demons, settling down with a lover and have a family bc thats what I want for him.

What I do find unacceptable in the aging up act, is when ppl create content of adult x minor and use the “Well they’re an adult in this piece ☝️🤓” while the canon minor characters is still portrayed and looked as a minor. That is creepy behavior and triggering content.

I found out about Genya when I was 18 in october 2021, my friend who introduced me to it told me Genya was 18 and since I didn’t even knew from where he was I just believed him to be 18. January of 2023 was when I started to know more about KNY and get into it and that's when I found out that he was canonically 16 years old. I went a full on year and a half believing this mf was 18 like me so I decided to use my art skills to design him an older version of himself, one that can grow up with me and play a role with my kny ocs.

Now with that being said. I will NOT tolerate anyone calling me a MAP/Pedophile. I do not show predatory behavior. It is absolutely unacceptable for someone who doesn’t know anything about my stuff to call me a heavy life ruining word just bc I aged up a fictional character that doesn’t exist.

I will NOT tolerate being called a pedo in any form or shape just bc I aged up fictional characters. I AM NOT a MAP, I will not stand being compared next to my abuser, who is a real pedo who abused me and many other children.

I do believe fiction can impact reality. A great example is tv shows where they show sharks as these dangerous aggressive creatures and now we believe that sharks are dangerous animals while in reality they’re super cute and silly lil guys.

Conclusion: I age up characters. It is a touchy subject in the internet but I dont find anything wrong with it. If you no longer want to support me then feel free to unfollow and block me but I will bite back, delete or block anyone who dares to call me something so horrible. Instead of aiming your child protective services attitude towards me, aim it to real abusers, ppl who create content of cp.

If this harassment continues, I will take my leave. I downloaded Tumblr to relieve my old good memories, a safe space, to meet ppl like me not to be harassed bc I age up characters and for being a NSFW artist. May this be the first and last note regarding this situation. My mental health comes first, my heart condition's peace comes first, I am not in the mood to have heart therapy again.

[roleplayfinderrr]

Hello and howdy!

discord: paladinkeith

My name is keith, im 27 years old, looking for a 1x1, timezone is CST, though my hours are crazy wonky so I doubt it’ll really affect any potential partner whether you’re across the pond or anywhere else lol.

Since i am a little older, i’m only looking for somebody who’s also in their 20’s, rping with teens–even older ones–is a no go for me.

Fandom wise, right now i'm scouring tumblr and discord for one specific rp:

Resident Evil

Leon kennedy x luis serra

I have indeed been bitten by the re4 remake bug!

Im all about plotting, and while i have a few basic plots, id love partner feedback to help build something really cool! Whether thats AU, pre-game, post-game, canon divergence, nsfw or sfw, anything is game.

Conversationally im pretty lax (obvs) but while rping i do need someone at least semi-lit. I only rp in paragraph format (sorry, its just the only style im comfortable with). Also, we all have lives and jobs and such, and while theoretically id like to be able to respond several times in one day, that doesn't usually happen lol. On a low day i might not reply at all, or just once (though this is not common, and i will do my best to let my partner know if it’s gonna be a day like that). Short term or long term is fine, im not picky.

I tend to be friends (or at least friendly) with my rp partner(s), so if its okay I’d like to make a server just for my partner and i to rp in so we can have different channels just for chatting/plotting/rping whatever. Im totally cool with doubling up or both of us playing multiple characters. I know ashley is pretty integral to leon and luis, so i have no problem being her for a scene or something as needed. Same thing with characters like chris or claire, ect. I dont mind taking the role of leon or luis, i dont have a preference– this will be the first time im rping either of them (though ive been rping in general since i was, like, eleven) so the first few replies will be a learning curve for me regardless of trying to get their personalities down and whatever.

My dms are always open!! Pls hit me up with any questions or whatever. I have in the past roleplayed like a billion different anime fandoms (mha, naruto, soul eater, blah, blah) and have had a special interest in the hobbit/ lord of the rings/ warrior cats/ redwall since ever and write fanfiction for the hobbit (bagginshield my beloved), so if somebody reads this and maybe wants to hit me up for something around there, feel free!! Though i will be continuing my search for a serrenedy partner lol

Anyway this is long enough!! Thank you for reading, have a good day/night everyone <3

✿

[izder456]

Let’s Discuss RHEL’s recent GPL fiasco:

(an opinion piece)

A Software license about freedom is simple:

> lets me freely access the software itself with no specific conditions that must be met for my use to be compliant.

> the software is freely provided either in source form, binary form, or both.

the freedom here is the choice to use or not to use.

RHEL is pretty blatantly ignoring this, fundamental factor of choice, by paywalling the sources. They are not required to do so, but they are the end decider in this case. If you don’t like that, you have the freedom to use something else. No one, not me, not redhat, not even IBM, can take that from you.

i’d argue that either the bsd, the gpl, or the mit are all fine licenses- and only the distributor of the product should be the one allowed to use whichever license they please.

the user should not have a direct say- because it is not their code.

it it’s totally fine to be frustrated with the software that you did not make for whatever reason.

but- it is not okay to harrass the developers to use your specific license for moral reasons that the devs don’t give a hoot about. after all- its their software.

this is why i am an unironic advocate for the WTFPL because people can use whatever they want with my software. no special conditions or restrictions on use or distribution.

i will probably be hated for saying this- but in all honesty- the license wars have always been stupid, and still are.

use whatever. it truly does not matter as long as you are free to choose what software you’re running regardless of license.

to summarize- RHEL definitely is defying the spirit of free software- but there is nothing forcing you to continue using RHEL.

even for corporate customers- i’d argue that redhat isn’t even a good option nor is canonical’s offerings.

because thats how financial organizations work, they don’t care about their product, the quality of the service, or their customers wishes. they care about capital gain, and are willing to be blissfully ignorant of their customer base leaving them. thats fine. if they want to shoot themselves in the foot, you should not feel required to fall down with them.

unfortunately, it seems to be that the larger a company/business/organization gets, the less likely they are to be able to acknowledge the consumer or the worker that upholds their high financial standing.

find something else- if you can.

RHEL seems like a dead-end, and fighting it is effectively yelling into the void.

[lesbianpepsi]

You don't have to respond or anything. I actually feel bad for writing this bcs i don't wanna burden anyone with this but if i don't say anything I'll lose it.

TW for R-word, PTSD, Depression, Self-harm and just really bad thoughts overall.

I'm honestly going insane. I don't even feel real anymore and it sounds corny and dumb but I truly don't. Nothing is helping, no therapy or any amount of pills are working for me. It's like, everytime I'm left to my own thoughts, I go crazy.

I hate it, I hate how I can't remember anything from 6-11 years old other than my cousin and his friend, the only childhood memories I have is my cousin and his friend r-wording me. They're 6 years older than me, I was just a kid. Barely 6, they were preteens. I don't understand why this happened to me and I'm so angry. I can barely sleep, 2 hours a night is amazing for me. But even in my sleep I have nightmares. They're awful, I wake up crying and covered in sweat. When I'm at school, one second I'll be fine and the next all I can feel is him and his friend. Its been years since I've last seen them but they're still there and they won't go away. I can still smell them, feel them, hear them. It's like it's happening all over again and I'm just so tired. I don't know what to do with myself. Everytime I think about having to live with this for the rest of my life, I feel an overwhelming sensation of just straight up agony. My chest hurts, my throat closes up and my eyes get watery. I'm tired of crying every night. I can't live in peace, these flashbacks I get are awful. It's like a flash of pictures in my head and my body reacts to it, like I'm a little kid with two grown men hurting me all over again. I tried fighting back of course, he just didn't feel pain. No matter how hard I kicked and punched and bit him. He wouldn't even flinch, it felt like God or whoever is supposedly up there, was on his side. It still feels like that. I can't even begin to understand why, if God is so powerful and real, why did he let that happen to me? It feels like it's my fault, God punished me for something I did and I just have to deal with it.

I hate how I'd let it happen all over again. Because at least it was just me, he threatened to hurt my sisters if I didn't let him and his friend. I didn't really have a choice, I couldn't let them go through that. So I'm grateful that he stuck to his word and my sisters are fine, I don't know what would happen to me or what'd I would do if they were hurt like i was and honestly still am. I'm sorry, I just feel so lost and faded. If that makes sense? I don't know what's happening to me and I'm scared of that. Thank you and have a goodnight, sorry for this shit I sent you but I wholeheartedly would snap if I stayed silent.

hey anon, it's alright i totally understand just wanting to say anything you've been thinking about.

i firstly wanna say im so sorry for everything's thats happened to you, nobody on earth deserves to go through that, im so sorry my love. and it was not your fault, the only person that's at fault is that scum, not you. you did nothing wrong, absolutely nothing.

i understand it's really hard and finding it so incredibly hard to find the point in trying to continue when you feel like you aren't getting better at all, but from my experience it does get better, it might take days, months or even years but eventually it does.

if you ever want to talk it vent anon feel free to send me a private message, i'm always here to help absolutely anyone, even if it's just to vent and get everything off of your chest.

i'm so sorry, my love, you're loved and i hope everything gets better for you❤️🫂