#february has the same expression...

[ireonic]

getting Christmas out of the way so I can focus on my true love (Valentine's Day)

[sayruq]

In February, Adham, a 20-year-old Palestinian, was visiting his family’s home in the West Bank. One night while scrolling through Grindr, the gay messaging app, he received a message from an anonymous user “hey,” the user wrote, before “tapping,” the platform’s function for expressing interest. The user, like Adham’s, had a blank profile that included only minimal information about his interests and whereabouts, specifying only where he lived. (Drop Site News has changed his name to protect him from retaliation.) They hit it off and were chatting for a few hours before Adham shared that he was a university student in the West Bank. That prompted the user to share his thoughts on several professors at the university who had recently drawn attention for voicing pro-Palestine views. “He wanted me to be disgusted by them,” Adham told Drop Site. “Why are you trying to convince me that this doctor is a bad person just because he's against the occupation? It feels weird at first. Just bizarre.” Adham chalked it up to a difference of opinion and the two continued to chat. Eventually Adham sent the user his number so they could message on WhatsApp. Once the conversation moved off-platform, the user revealed his identity to Adham. “That’s when he said he worked with Israeli intelligence,” he said. Using Adham’s number, the user had identified him and began sending him messages with the names and photos of his family members he had found on their Facebook profiles. Adham hadn’t even shared his name with the user, much less anything that could point him to his family members—he’s not out to his family. “I started crying and I didn't know what to do,” Adham said. Adham blocked the profile on Grindr, but soon began receiving SMS messages repeating the same threats. “It was a whole night from 12 to the sunrise,” Adham said. “He kept threatening me, saying he will expose me.” The user told Adham he sought intelligence on Adham’s cousins who, at the time, were in an Israeli prison, awaiting trial on suspicion of their involvement with the al-Qassam brigades, Hamas’s military wing. “He told me that I should go to their homes, search and question their parents and get as much information about them as possible,” Adham recalled. “He said that you can't run away from us. We, you know where you live,” Adham said. “So I just get the SMS card, I throw it, I turned off my phone.” In the morning, he checked his mother’s phone continuously to make sure she hadn’t received any messages. One of his friends had his Grindr chats and images sent to his friends and family after receiving similarly threatening messages from a user who claimed to be an Israeli intelligence official. Drop Site could not verify the messages to Adham came from an intelligence official. But a former official with Unit 8200, Israel’s signals-intelligence agency, confirmed the involvement of Shin Bet, Israel’s internal security agency. The Israel Defense Forces declined to comment.

[tarotbydelilah444]

pac: your next relationship

pile 1

when will you meet

♡ next year

♡ could be as early as February 2025 to December 2025.

♡ Taurus season stood out in the reading. So pay attention to late April to early May. ♡ the months of Feb, March, April, May, July, August, September, November, and December could be of significance for your upcoming relationship.

♡ Valentine’s Day could be of significance.

♡ your next birthday

♡ next fall

♡ while traveling

♡ at school (college, graduate school, studying abroad)

♡ work / could be coworkers

the tower + ace of wands

You will definitely meet this person unexpectedly. You will not be expecting this person to enter into your life or even meet them. For some, you could even meet this person when a certain chapter in your life is shifting or ending in some way. Maybe, some of you didn’t have love on the brain, but then you randomly meet and got to know this person, and started to develop feelings for them. This may be a new person that is coming into your life that will immediately pique your interest and have you catching feelings quick, but you are being are being advised to slow down and get to know this person first. This connection may start off very passionate and fiery, so this could be a casual relationship that over time can develop into a romantic relationship. Your next boyfriend / partner may even be an ex or someone you’ve dated in the past. There is also a chance that your next partner will be a long-time friend of yours, so take it if it resonates.

astrological sign

This can apply to their sun, moon, and rising.

♡ Aries

♡ Leo

♡ Sagittarius

♡ Cancer

♡ Scorpio

♡ Pisces

♡ Taurus

♡ Virgo

♡ Gemini

♡ Libra

♡ Aquarius

physical attributes

page of pentacles • two of swords • two of cups

♡ Your next partner is very handsome, pretty, or attractive. They have damn near perfect facial symmetry, everything is balanced and proportionate. They could attract a lot of jealously due to their physical attractiveness.

♡ They could possibly be the same age as you, or even a couple of months to a year younger than you. They have a youthful appearance, but they are mature for their age. For some, this person could be a student, so they may attend the same school as you, or you will share a class with them. This can also apply in a work situation.

♡ They may be Asian or Caucasian.

♡ Wears prescribed glasses or may where glasses for aesthetic purposes. I channeled nerdy vibes for this person.

♡ An athletic or toned build. They may enjoy playing sports or actively into exercising.

♡ Average to Tall stature, not overtly short nor tall.

♡ Light or fair-skinned complexion

♡ They have an attractive or distinctive voice. This could be the tone of their voice or they could have an accent.

♡ Blue or Dark brown eyes. They could have big or expressive doe eyes that makes look innocent and sweet. Either way, their eyes stand out in some way.

♡ They could be wealthy or live a comfortable lifestyle. They may dress in luxury-branded clothing or an expensive taste in fashion. They could be into the artsy or alternative aesthetic.

♡ They may resemble their mother or a feminine figure in their lives. They have rounder and softer features for some.

♡ They have a passive or cool demeanor when you meet them. They seem like they are heavily in their thoughts or caught up in their little world. Although they may look uninterested or distracted at first glance, they have a serene and calming presence.

love languages

physical touch

♡ Your next partner will be so attracted to you when you first meet them. They find you to be so beautiful. I’m hearing “Only Girl (In the World”) by Rihanna. This person literally has eyes for you, and you only. Your next partner loves how feminine and how you present yourself. They will love your scent (this could be your natural pheromones or the type of perfumes you wear. They love how you dress and how everything fits perfectly on your body, complimenting your natural curves. They love the way you style your hair, specifically when it’s curly or sleekly styled. If you wear makeup, this person loves how you do your makeup, but they love it even better when you are freshed-face and in your natural state. Your next partner will not be able to take their hands off of you. They love the way your body feels against theirs and will always want you near them all of the time. You have this person hooked, everything about you triggers a primal reaction in them that makes it hard for them to constrain themselves and resist the urge to just have their way with you. Did I forget to mention? Your person loves PDA, they won’t have an issue with holding hands, stealing a kiss or two, or even grabbing and smacking your butt in public to let every “man” know that you are theirs and only theirs, quite territorial, they can be. They love to tease you a lot. I’m picking up that your person may have teased you relentlessly before the two of you began dating and this will continue even in the relationship. This seemed to be their way of showing you that they were into you from the start. They may give you a cute nickname that may be annoying at first, but it will eventually grow on you eventually as the two of you make it official. This person can be mischievous and playful that it will annoy the hell out of you, but it’s mainly for fun, and I think this will be one of the many reasons why you will fall in love with them because they keep on your toes and they know how to have fun. 

acts of service

♡ Your next partner will show their love through their actions. There is nothing that your boo won’t do for you. They want to be someone that you can depend on when you need help or just in general. If you were to live together, this person would fix things around the house. Clogged toilet? Flat tire? Oil change? Need help building something ? This person will do it with a smile on their face because they love to feel needed by you. I’m seeing a image of you on your tippy toes, frustrated and struggling to reach something on the top the shelf, and your person walks into the room seeing you struggling and lets out a small chuckle before coming over to lift you up and get whatever you need off the shelf. “You know you could’ve asked for my help, right.” You reply with a snarky remark,“You know I almost had it myself”. ”Sure, you did” in a sarcastic tone. Your next boyfriend could even help you with chores, making the bed up, taking the trash out, washing the dishes, doing laundry just to help you out a bit. 

words of affirmations

♡ Your next partner will make you laugh and smile all the time. They love to joke and tease you any chance they get. They will say the most corniest things that will make you cringe, but laugh at the same time. They absolutely will adore your smile and the sound of your laugh, it makes their heart skip a beat every time they hear you laugh and see you smile that beautiful smile of yours. They may be the first one to confess their feelings you before the two of you began officially dating. You and this person will text all of the time, they will send you “good morning” and “goodnight” text. Getting a text from really brightens this person’s day, even on their worst days, they can always look forward to seeing your name pop up in their phone as soon as they wake up. Your person enjoys talking to you, they feel like there are endless things that the two of you could talk about or even debate on, and they will never get bored or restless. They may even fuck up their sleep schedule to stay up for hours and hours to talk to you and may even like the idea of falling asleep on the phone with you. When you aren’t feeling your best, they will stop everything they are doing and call you to check in with you and reassure you in anyway they can because your happiness and peace of mind means so much to them. They always want to make you feel at ease and valued. They want you to come to them about your troubles to be that shoulder you cry on anytime you need. They want to be your safe space, that person that you can come to and talk to about anything and everything. I’m hearing your “secrets are my secrets and they will remain with me, always and forever”. I’m channeling the song, Diary, by Alicia Keys. 

personality knight of pentacles • six of wands

Self-assured  Intelligent  Reserved Friendly Charismatic  Popular  Competitive  Diligent  Resilient  Serene  Reliable  Trustworthy  Loyal 

♡ Your partner is down to earth. They have a very mellow and laid back personality, not much gets under their skin. They have a serene and “go with the flow” type of personality. They have two sides to their personality, they can seem reserved and quiet when you meet them, but the more you get to know them, they can quite fun and friendly. They are very intelligent. They enjoy learning new things and finding ways to improve their skills in some way. They enjoy a challenge and are determined to master anything they put their mind to. If they are a student, they could make straight As or be on the honor roll. “Most Likely to Succeed” is what I channeled. This person intends to go after everything that they set their mind to and become successful, whether it be school, their career path, or pretty much anything they want to achieve. They are extremely hardworking and diligent. This person doesn’t take shortcuts when it comes to their goals, they understand that everything takes time and patience and they have no problem in taking their time to get where they want to be. A very confident individual, indeed. They are very sure of themselves and what they bring to the table. They are also very respected and admired by many, there are many people that look up to your person or want to be on their level. They are quite charismatic and friendly. People naturally gravitate to them with ease. They could possibly be popular or they have a lot of friends. They could for some be the leader of their friend group, as many of their friends believe they are reliable, wise, loyal, and trustworthy. This person is very active. For some, this person could have ADHD (take it if it resonates). They may enjoy sports or even working out to keep themselves in shape. They are pretty health conscious, they try their best to maintain a sustainable routine and take care of their health. They can be very competitive. They enjoy simple activities like hiking, running, swimming, yoga, and other competitive sports. Finally, for some, they could be religious, or interested in learning other religious practices/ belief systems. I channeled Christianity, Catholicism, Wiccan, or New Age spiritualism.

qualities they like about you

♡ They like how you play hard to get, so when you meet this person, you may like them, but you will play mind games or act as if you aren’t into them, but I think this will make them like you even more and chase you until they can make you theirs. For some, this person always had a huge crush on you or vice versa.

♡ For some, they like the fact that you are into anime, manga, video games, K-pop, and J-pop. Some of you may like Asian culture, this could be cuisine or media (music, movies, tv shows).

♡ They like your voice. They find your voice to be extremely attractive in some way, if some of you like to sing, they think you have a beautiful voice. They can literally hear you talk forever and never get tired of hearing your voice. They also like how talkative you are. They like how they can talk to you for hours or how they can talk to you about many things without getting bored. They may like to debate with you, or even joke around with you. They find you to be very amusing and funny. 

♡ They like how family-oriented you are or that you are close to your family.

♡ They like how complex you are, they like how they cannot easily figure you out like others. They find you to be very mysterious and enjoy finding out more about who you are and even learning what is your interests. They may even ask you lots questions about yourself to figure you out who you really are. They are curious to know about you and are always amazed about what you reveal to them. You are so intriguing to this person.

♡ They enjoy being intellectually challenged/ stimulated by you. They like they you teach them about things they may not be aware of, or knowledge on. 

♡ For some, if you are into the occult, astrology, witchcraft, etc, they find this to be interesting. 

♡ They like your eyes. They love the color of your eyes, or even the way you look at them.

♡ They love how loving, caring, and compassionate you are. They love that you have such a big heart. They like how you are always willing to lend a helping hands to others in need. For some, they think you have healing abilities.

♡ They find you to be extremely beautiful. You check every single box on this person’s list. They are also sexually attracted to you as well.

♡ They like your calming, serene, patient demeanor. You seem to put them at ease and encourage them to come into alignment. For some, they like how you have a healing presence. 

♡ They like how creative you are, or your ability to dream big and go after your dreams. They like how you don’t need much reassurance and how you believe in yourself, no matter what. They think you are extremely talented. 

♡ They how optimistic, confident, intuitive, adventurous, frank, open-minded, independent, boisterous, and free-spirited you are. 

♡ They like how you have many people that are into you besides them. They could be jealous, if you have other romantic interests, but they like the idea of fighting for your heart and attention. 

♡ “One of the guys”. They like how you are able to get along with masculine energies, maybe you are a tomboy, and enjoy more masculine activities. They like how similar the two of you are. 

dynamic of this connection

*in keywords*

4th house synastry • “you’re my home” • cuddle buddies • bffs • anime • protective • “ I feel safe with you” • shits & giggles • childhood friends • soulmates • loyalty • making art together • Ghost (pottery scene) • long night talks • “I’ll go wherever you go” • “your secrets are safe with me” • “lean on me when you’re not strong” • spoiled brat • #1 fan • peanut butter to my jelly • match made in heaven • inseparable • I want to marry you • soft spot • crush on you • Love and Basketball (movie) • acceptance • We Belong Together by Mariah Carey • fitness couple • puppy eyes • let’s just stay home tonight• you cannot hide from me, I see right through you • diy crafts • Gorgeous by Jaden Smith • Bed Peace by Jhene Aiko ft Childish Gambino • healing childhood wounds • “you give me butterflies” • moving into together • 444 • sleepovers • in my arms is where you belong • Ohana means family, and family doesn’t get left behind • “I’m forever devoted to you” • golden retriever boyfriend  three of pentacles 

There is a theme of wanting to help each other out, to help the other become the best version of themselves. Constantly showing up for one another and putting in the effort to make this connection stand the test of time. Always wanting to be in alignment with each other. “We are a team”. It’s all or nothing. The three of pentacles gives me the energy of wanting to build from the ground up. This can talk about a desire for you and this person to build this relationship from level 1 to level 10 or build each other up. There is a strong friendship vibe that will be prevalent in your next relationship. Friends to Lovers for sure. You and this person have so much in common and the energy is so warm, loving, and carefree when channeling this connection. This is the feeling that you feel when you develop feelings for your first crush, maybe this person could be your first crush / love or vice versa. 

channeled song

pile 2

when will you meet

♡ for some, you may resonate with some of the messages in pile one, if you picked this pile. You will also meet this person next year.

♡ within the next three to six months

♡ the months of February, April, September, or November could be of significance.

♡ Libra, Scorpio, and Sagittarius season could also be of significance.

♡ you could meet this person by your or their next birthday.

♡ traveling, could be a family trip or a birthday trip.

♡ take it if it resonates, but your next partner could be someone that you had / have children with or they may have a child from a previous relationship. This could definitely be someone that you dated in the past and you thought you and this person were done indefinitely, but this person could resurface in the upcoming year.

♡ you could be introduced to your next partner through a feminine energy, this could be a friend, mother, grandmother, etc.

♡ meeting at school, specifically graduate school or somewhere that requires learning a trade or skill of some sort. you will work closely with this individual.

♡ in the workplace, this could be a coworker for some.

two of pentacles • eight of pentacles • five of pentacles • temperance • five of swords 

You will definitely meet this person at work, a place of business, or school. You could meet this person when you are seeking some type of stability in your life, specifically if this is related to your finances or career. You may be struggling financially and you are trying desperately to find stability through your challenges. You may even be heavily focused on your career or studies when this person enters into your life. I’m intuitively feeling like you are just wanting to focus on yourself and what brings you harmony, balance, and peace. I also intuitively feel that you may believe / feel that “love” is a distraction or you just don’t have time for romance. I’m hearing one specific lyric from Redemption by Drake, “Relationships slowin me down, they slow down the vision”. You may not be where you want to be in your life, maybe you have a lot of goals and expectations for yourself that want to fulfill and you refuse to be distracted or disappointed by love interest / love in general. For others, you may be desperate for a relationship, but you may feel unworthy of love or even losing faith that you will find love. “Will I ever find love”? That’s what I channeled for a small group of you. I sense that some of you want to give up and believe that you are destined to be alone, but I am channeling that you won’t be alone and someone will come in, at the right time. Just because it doesn’t happen right now, that doesn’t mean it won’t happen eventually. You are being advised to be patient and trust in divine timing when it comes to matters of the heart. You are loved and you are meant to be loved. There is someone out there for you pile two, you must be patient and not lose hope. You are also being encouraged to stop self-sabotaging behaviors when it comes to love. 

astrological sign

This can apply to their sun, moon, or rising.

♡ Scorpio

♡ Cancer

♡ Pisces

♡ Aries

♡ Leo

♡ Sagittarius

♡ Libra

♡ Taurus

♡ Capricorn

♡ Virgo

♡ Gemini

♡ Aquarius

physical attributes

death • knight of wands • ace of cups • strength • ace of wands

♡ Your next partner’s nationality or ethnicity differs from yours. I am channeling Middle Eastern or Mexican.  ♡ They could have green, hazel, or blue eyes. Their eyes have a very intense or sleep appearance. Kind of eyes that are hauntingly beautiful. They could have almond or hooded- shaped eyes. They could have bags under their eyes for some, but their eyes stand out in some way, whether it’s the color, shape, or their gaze. I also channeled that this person may have “bedroom eyes” or siren eyes.

♡ They are quite big or they have a muscular body type. They may bulk up pretty fast or able to gain muscle easily without much effort. This person could be a workout junkie, as in they love to workout or find different activities that allow them to keep them in shape or improve their strength and endurance specifically cardio, wrestling, bodybuilding, high intensity workouts, (HIIT), calisthenics, and boxing. They have broad shoulders, strong and muscular arms, a six pack, muscular back, and nice strong calves. They take great pride in their physical appearance. ♡ They could have light brown to jet black hair. ♡ A brown to darker complexion. ♡ They have an intimidating and mysterious aesthetic or presence. You could possibly feel like they can be unapproachable or standoffish when you first meet them. If your partner is a female or resonate with the feminine energy, they embody the “dark feminine” or “femme fatale” archetype, think of Lana Del Rey, Rihanna, Naomi Campbell, Alexa Demie, Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox, or Monica Bellucci. If your partner is a male or resonates with the masculine energy, they are so fucking hot, like mouthwatering hot. They have a strong presence that is hard to ignore. They embody confidence in their stance and how they command the attention in every room they walk into. They are “sex” on legs, many people find them to be physically and sexually attractive, like they have people that secretly fantasize about sleeping with them. Highly desirable and sexualized by many. This person has a strong masculine presence, they know that they are that “guy” or “girl”. They always look or seem like they are on guard, or highly aware of their surroundings. People view your next partner as intimidating or even intense, to some degree, some people may be afraid to approach them because they could look “mean” or like they are going to curse someone out (lol). They have this aloof or air of detachment to their physical appearance, almost as if they are bored or uninterested in their surroundings that makes people even more intrigued by them. Your person reminds me of a panther, they are beautiful and majestic creatures, yet they are very dangerous and wild, if you get too close. I intuitively heard, “Access Denied”, they are very protective of their space and exclusive in who they associate themselves with. They may even attracted a lot of jealously from other people and this can explain why they are protective over their energy. 

♡ Pretty girl or boy privilege, as well. They are conventionally attractive. They have perfectly clear skin, pretty white teeth, charming eyes, medium to full lips, symmetrical to angular facial features. They embody both angelic and devilish look, especially if they have water and air or fire placements.  ♡ They have a beautiful and strong bone structure. Sharp jawline, high cheekbones, long or square chin. Like you could literally sharpen knives with their features. They should be on the cover of Vogue magazine and every billboard. #SculptedbytheGods

♡ They could have tattoos and piercings for some. ♡ Sorry not sorry, but your next partner is packing downstairs or it’s very pretty. Take it if it applies.

♡ Your next partner has a distinctive style of walking or they could walk pretty fast. ♡ Pretty random, but your next partner looks so pretty / handsome when they cry, or they tend to show their emotions on their face without even noticing. ♡ Your next partner could like darker colors, specifically black. Black could be their favorite color. It’s almost as if they like to look threatening or intimidating to other people. I channeled the “bad boy” or James Dean vibes for some, so they could be into the whole “rugged bad boy” aesthetic like leather, PVC, ripped jeans, simple black tee, and hoodies. Edgy aesthetic. They could also like clothes that accentuates their muscles / curves. 

♡ This may apply for some, but this person could be quite spiritual. They may like to wear crystals, hamsa, evil eye, and other spiritual related jewelry to protect them from negative energies.

love languages

gift giving

♡ Your next partner will be very generous when it comes to showing their love for you. They will spoil the hell out of you. They will enjoy showering you in gifts or buying you things that they know that you will appreciate. They will spare no expense to show you how much they love and care deeply for you. Your next partner goes all the way out when it comes to expressing their undying love for you. They are always listening to what you desire even when you think they aren’t and pay attention to the tiniest of details to ensure that you feel most appreciated. They can be quite an undercover romantic, even if they don’t express it. Every gift they gift to you, whether it’s grandiose or not, they put a lot of thought and effort into it. It’s not just a gift to your person to buy your love, but more of a token of their appreciation and gratitude to you. They want to always make you feel special, no matter the occasion. Who needs a gift on Valentine’s Day when your person will treat everyday like it’s Valentine’s Day? Whatever She Want by Bryson Tiller. Fuck princess treatment, it’s giving “Queen Treatment”. They want to give you the world, I’m channeling, “luther” by Kendrick Lamar ft SZA. They feel like you deserve everything because you bring so much love and happiness in their life like never experienced before. I get the vibe that your person loves surprises, they love the idea of planning something special for you, just to see your reaction. Whether it be a luxurious getaway to another country, buying you that item you been eyeing and talking about nonstop, or delivering a bouquet of roses to your job with a lovely note attached, your next future partner will be applying pressure and never miss an opportunity to make you feel loved and special. They want to make harder for the next person to please you. This person when they officially ask you to be their girlfriend / boyfriend, they will go all out, like I’m legit picturing in my head, roses everywhere, heart shaped balloons, a bouquet, your favorite snacks, candles, will you be my gf balloons, and luxurious gifts. The whole nine!

quality time

♡ Your next partner will anticipate spending quality time with you. They will always make sure that it’s enough time and attention placed on you and nurturing the connection. I get the vibe that your next partner may get sad or may have separation anxiety when they are away from you too long. They love having you near and in reach. “When you go away, I hate the distance” is what I intuitively heard. They don’t want to be separated from you for more than a hour, like this person will legit hop on a flight to be wherever you are, just to close the distance between you. For some, this may apply, if you are in a long-distance relationship with this person. This person might be a bit of a homebody, so their idea of “quality time” would be ordering takeout, watching a movie / catching up on y’alls favorite show, and cuddling on the couch. They will plan dates where it’s just the two of you, enjoying each other’s presence and connecting on an intimate level. Intimacy is very important to your person, they enjoy having deep conversations with you and lots of eye contact, no distractions, just the two of you focused and getting lost simultaneously into one another to rekindle that initial spark once in a while. There is a emphasis on “milestones”. Your next partner wants to continuous see this relationship elevate and evolve over time. It seems as they want to grow and build a legacy together, this could be eventually starting a family, marriage, purchasing a dream home, and even making money together. “Generational Wealth” is what I channeled. Your next partner wants to accomplish their goals, dreams, and aspirations while you are by their side and vice versa. I’m intuitively hearing, “when you win, I win”. This person wants to share their success with you and wants you to share your success with them. They want to be there for you through the good and the bad times, never wanting to give up on you and constantly fighting for the stability and longevity of this connection. Your next partner will aim to ensure that your needs are always being met, sometimes, even sacrificing their needs and wants to put yours before their own. There is a sense of pride they feel in you being their partner. Overall, I think that your partner loves planning and talking about the future with you.

acts of service

♡ “Actions speak louder than words”. Your next partner lives, breathes, and eats this old saying. This person believes that love should be shown through actions because words can be quite deceptive sometimes. They aim to always show up for you as a partner and be consistent in how they express their love for / to you. Your partner is not much for words anyways, so they prefer to express their love through doing things for you or that they know that you will appreciate. This could be anything from doing chores, running errands, making you a cup of coffee in the morning, cooking, or basically anything that will make your day run smoothly. You will never have to beg or complain for this person to help you out, they will do it in a heartbeat. “Cater to You” by Destiny’s Child, came to mind. Your next partner is quite selfless and considerate of you and your needs, like there is nothing in the world that your partner won’t do for you. They are by far the definition of a “provider”.  They know their purpose as a partner is to provide and protect you in every way. I’m seeing when the two of you go out for date night, they will always pay the bill, no discussion. They will literally give you the death stare, if you so much as even try it, lol. They can be quite a traditionalist. Your partner wants to take care of you and reaffirm to you that you can rely on them and that you don’t have to do everything on your own, not that she/he doesn’t think you aren’t capable, but they want to you to be aware that they are there, if you need help with anything.

personality king of wands • judgment • wheel of fortune

Independent

Confident 

Intuitive 

Cautious 

Pretentious

Brooding 

Analytical 

Observant 

Resilient

Wise

Adaptable 

Unpredictable 

Philosophical 

Introspective

♡ Your next partner is very intuitive. Their intuition never leads them in the wrong direction and their inklings are almost always right about everything. They can easily pick up when someone is being deceptive and can easily see through fuckery. “You can’t pull the wool over my eyes”. Your next partner could be psychic, they are able to see things before they happen, for some. They could even be spiritual, they are tapped in with the spiritual world and are heavily protected, so anyone that tries to harm them, their guides will not hesitate to seek justice on their behalf.

♡ Your next partner is quite resilient. They may have going through some struggles in life, but these struggles taught them valuable lessons and they been able to mature and grow from these experiences. They are pretty adaptable to change because they understand that change is necessary and inevitable. Although they gained inner strength through their struggles, they may have a difficult trusting or even opening up to people. They can be heavily guarded when you meet them and it may take them a little while for them to trust and be vulnerable with you, so give them time. Underneath that tough exterior is a pure and genuine soul that they feel like they must protect the remaining parts of themselves that are “pure” and untainted. Wow, your next partner is pretty deep and intense.

♡ This person is constantly evolving and reinventing themselves. They devote themselves to becoming a better version of themselves each and every day. “Who I am?” A soul searcher, they are constantly searching for who they are at the core, looking within to discover their inner truth. Your next partner lives a lot in their mind, it’s like an endless maze of trying to understand themselves and their purpose in life. They are a deep thinker for sure, almost to the point where they overanalyze and question everything. They despise shallowness, they always are searching for the truth and focused on the grand scheme of things. They are very observant and great listener, often paying attention to everyone and everything that surrounds them. There are so many layers to this person’s personality that you will never really be able to decipher the mystery of them. “I let you see, what I want you to see”. Just when you think you have them figured out, they will do something that will surprise or catch you off guard. They like to play chess, not checkers. This person is very strategic and wise in how they move through life, they know how to play the game, and they play it well. Overall, this person has good judgment and a great head on their shoulders. 

♡ Your next partner enjoys learning new things. It can range from historical events to cultures to spirituality, but this can really be anything. They can be quite pretentious or a bit of a know it all, which can sometimes piss people off, but they don’t really care. They may like to surprise people by the things that they know. 

qualities they like about you

♡ This person likes the way you move your body or your level of flexibility. This may apply to you, if you like to dance as a hobby. They think you are an amazing dancer. For others, this person may like the way you walk, you may walk like a model or walk with confidence. I’m picking up nice posture.

♡ They like the fact that you are very active, even if you aren’t athletic. They like the way your body looks, some of you may be very fit. They could also like that you have various  hobbies that you engage in. 

♡ They like how you are forgiving. You aren’t one to hold onto a grudge or resentful to others or situations. You don’t allow things to control you, but rather go with the flow or the nature of things. They also like your ability to cut off people, places, and things that no longer serve you with ease.  They like how you speak your mind or stand up for yourself when it comes to things you want. 

♡ They like how cautious you are and your innate ability to pay attention to people’s red flags or identify toxic traits in people before getting involved with them.

♡ They like your childlike nature. They think you are quite fun to be around and enjoy being in your presence. They like your innocence, or how naive you seem. They feel like they must protect these characteristics about you from people that may want to take advantage of you. They may like how good you are with children, for some. For some, they like how youthful you look, so you could look younger than your physical age.

♡ They like how you are content with being alone or introverted. You don’t need any outside validation to receive approval and acceptance You are perfectly comfortable and at peace in your own solitude. 

♡ They like your taste in music. They think that the two of you have similar tastes in music, for some. 

♡ They like your handwriting. They may think you have beautiful or a unique style of writing, or they could think you are a talented and amusing storyteller. 

♡ They like being in your presence. Your presence brightens their day. They hate to be away from you too long. this person literally gets butterflies whenever they are around you. Weak by SWV. They like how fun and exciting you are to be around. 

♡ They like the sound of your voice. You may have an accent for some, if so they like the way you pronounce certain words. You might talk a little fast, but they find it to be super cute. They love communicating with you, they find you to be inquisitive, charming, and funny af.

♡ They like how you carry yourself. They like how eloquent  and well-mannered you are. They like that you have high standards and morals. They like that you have respect for yourself. 

♡ They like how trustworthy and loyal you are. They like that your intentions are clear and honest from the jump. They like that they can rely on you in tough times and know that you will always have their back when they’re in need.

♡ They like your sense of style. You have an impeccable style when it comes to fashion. They love how creative and original you are when it comes to your fashion choices. I’m channeling “old money” aesthetic for some. They think you can make anything look good.

♡ They like that you get along with their family, or how family oriented you are. They could also like that you want a big family one day. 

♡ If you have curly or wavy textured hair, they like the texture of your hair. They like the wild and untamed look. 

♡ They find you to be incredibly attractive, both inside and outside.

♡ They find your complexion to be very beautiful, you may have a brown or darker complexion. They love the way your skin glows. You could always looked like a glazed donut. I channeled Shea Butter Baby by Ari Lennox ft J.Cole

♡ They like your back area and your butt. You may have a big butt or an attractive back. For some, you could have a back dimples, and they find it super attractive. They also find your body to be appealing, for some, you could thick or you can be a bit curvaceous.

♡ If you have piercings, they like your piercings, whether it’s on your body or face. 

♡ This person could like that you have a lot of haters or people that are envious of you or the things you have. 

♡ They admire how resilient you are. They like how you face challenges, but you never give up or allow it to bring you down. They like the “warrior or fighter” energy within you. They like they you always seem to handle challenges with grace and confidence. They truly admire that about you. 

♡ They like that you are self assured and that you believe in yourself most of all. You know your worth and how much you bring to the table. They have complete faith that you can achieve anything you put your mind to. 

♡ They like how enigmatic and sensual you are, and then closed off and reserved the next minute. They are like a “moth to flame”. They like how you tease them or make them work for your attention. 

♡ They like how indecisive you can be. They like how you never really know what you want sometimes. 

dynamics of this connection

*in keywords*

8th house synastry • hidden feelings • death & rebirth • “don’t run for me” • “I’ve meet you in every lifetime” • runner & chaser dynamic • “time is never on our side” • 12th house synastry • “they don’t want to see us together” • mentor & pupil • familiarity• purification • transformation • karmic connection • twin flames • “ you set my soul on fire” • intensity • resolving karmic debts • Fire & Desire by Rick James ft Teena Marie • surrender yourself to me • Tessa & Hardin • “don’t you trust me” • outgrowing to come together • “my life will never be same, since you walked into it” • “I keep looking for you in every person” • jealously • yin & yang • power struggles • Him & I by G-Eazy ft Halsey • Bonnie & Clyde 03 • separated, but never truly apart • souls longing for each other • tethered • the eyes Chico, they never lie • intensity & passion • Kundalini awakening • light & shadow • Catwoman & Batman• sexual tension • til death do us part • obsessed with me • flashbacks • see you in my dreams • Telepatia by Kali Uchis • i love you, i hate you • intimidation • forbidden fruit • unbreakable love • sacral chakra • mirrorring each other • illusions • Mr. and Mrs. Smith • life-changing • “who’s wants that perfect love, anyway anyway, cliche, cliche, cliche” • are my feelings one-sided”• Cloak & Dagger • Love Don’t Live Here Anymore by Rose Royce • “I think about you all the time” • “I belong to you, beloved” • Edward & Bella • the couples that cast spells together, stay together • “let’s escape to the dream world” • healing each other’s soul • passion marks • passionate and intense make out sessions • chemistry off the map • “many try to define our love, but only we can define and understand our love” • Lilith • evil eye • I Miss You by Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes 

death

This is pretty heavy and intense energy that I channeled for this connection, and it even quite ironic that we have the death card to symbolize the dynamic of this connection. All I could pick up before I started shuffling was 8th house / Scorpio / Plutonic and 12th house / Pisces / Neptunian energy and to be honest, I wasn’t surprised at all. Buckle up because you in for one hell of a ride when you encounter this person. You and this person will not be the same once you enter into this connection, the life you knew will be only a distant memory that will leave questioning, if you were living a lie the whole time. This is definitely a karmic connection with that 8th house and 12th house energy being so loud in the reading, mostly the 8th house. You and this person shared many lifetimes together and decided to reincarnate in this life to heal trauma and wounds to finally be together. The death card symbolizes the ending and the beginning of something. A cycle of pain, trauma, and suffering must come to an end in order to experience an everlasting love of a lifetime that encourages both parties to grow and evolve together. You and this person have come together to heal karmic lessons and cycles of suffering, betrayal, and loss that followed you into this life. Will you be able to break the cycle or repeat another lifetime of sorrow and despair? This connection could start off as a hidden crush or someone not being totally upfront about their feelings for the other person. There is an intense desire to get to know the other on a deeper and intimate level, but being too intimidated to approach. It’s almost as one party or both parties feel the intensity and magnetic pull towards each other, but are too afraid or overly cautious to fully surrender to what this connection can become. Healing trauma and letting go is a repetitive theme when I channeled messages for this pile. This connection can serve as a deep healing experience for you and them, but it requires the both of you to surrender to change and the need to control. The two you must learn how to rely on each other and bring harmony into this connection without becoming codependent or allowing ego / pride take control of this connection. 

channeled song

pile 3

when will you meet

♡ next year

♡ the months of March, July, August, September, and October are of significance.

♡ be on the lookout for the summer months.

♡ Taurus, Virgo, Pisces season could be of significance.

♡ after a breakup, once you heal and let go of a past relationship.

♡ neighbors. You and this person could live in the same neighborhood or apartment complex.

♡ at a concert, music festival, opera / symphony, theater performance, or movies.

♡ a retreat, rehabilitation center, hospital, clinic, or group therapy session.

♡ online or dating app

♡ a church or sanctuary

♡ med school, if you are in school.

♡ a job event

♡ a local bar, lounge, café, club. For some, they could be a singer or musician.

♡ a park, museum, or aquarium

♡ traveling, this could be long distance or short distance travel.

♡ for some, if you are interested in reconciliation with an ex, there is a new person that will entering into your life soon.

♡ intuitively heard, “My Best Friend’s Brother by Victoria Justice, so this person could be your friend’s sibling (sister or brother), or if you have siblings, this could be a friend of your sibling.

♡ a place that you frequent daily or required to make some type of public appearance.

six of pentacles • four of swords • page of cups • six of cups 

Your next relationship will happen when you are healing from something. This could be something related to your health or after coming out a previous relationship. Apply it to your situation as it fits. Maybe you are used to over-giving when it comes to your previous relationships, putting in more than what you receive, and this left you feeling empty and lonely in your previous relationship. There was no limit to your  generosity and kindness, yet i went unnoticed for too long, often leaving you to pour from an empty cup. I’m hearing intuitively, Buy A Heart by Nicki Minaj. I feel as you had no choice but to put yourself first for once and take a hiatus from love and give yourself the time and space for your fragile heart to heal. You may wonder why you haven’t met your next partner or even wonder if you will ever find love again, and the answer is yes, but first, you need(ded) to heal and get clear in what you want in a partner and in a relationship. Have you ever heard the saying, “love comes in unexpected ways”, well, this saying applies to you, and simply means that love will come in when you least expect it, not when you plan or constantly searching for it. For some, you have been manifesting love or even getting little snippets of your next partner from the Universe through your dreams or intuitive downloads. You are being encouraged to trust the process and allow everything to unfold naturally because it will come in due timing. This is the time to prepare yourself for what is to come, and trust me, it’s worth waiting for. You are being encouraged to give this new person a chance because this could be the love of a lifetime. 

astrological sign

This can apply to their sun, moon, or rising.

♡ Pisces

♡ Taurus

♡ Virgo

♡ Capricorn

♡ Gemini

♡ Libra

♡ Leo

♡ Aquarius

♡ Cancer

♡ Aries

♡ Scorpio

♡ Sagittarius

physical attributes the hierophant • two of swords • the empress • king of swords

Disclaimer: I had quite a hard time shuffling for your next partner’s physical attributes, but I got one message to “stop looking”. The divine does not want you to know too many details about your next partner, or they want you to stop focusing on the outward appearance when it comes to love, but focus on the internal nature of your next partner. I also intuitively feel like your next partner will not be what you expect or may differ from what you prefer in terms of preferences.

♡ This person is very handsome or beautiful. You will be physically attracted to them when you meet them.

♡ They can be older than you or they have a mature demeanor when you initially meet them. They carry themselves with grace and respect. 

♡ They have animated expressions, or the way they express themselves is very animated, it will be as if they are acting or putting on some type of facade, but they have a very lively and expressive appearance. They could talk with their hands a lot or they have very noticeable facial expressions. They have very expressive eyes that glimmer and shines when they are interacting with others.

♡ They could identify as biracial for some, so they are of Black & White heritage. For some, they could be Hispanic / Latino / Latina. 

♡ For some, they could have a speech impediment. They could also talk either too fast or slow. 

♡ They could have a shorter stature.

♡ They could have beauty marks, freckles, or moles on their face or throughout their body. 

♡ If this is a female, she has a curvaceous or more rounded features. She could have big breast, nice and wide hips, thick thighs, perky and rounded butt, back dimples, and a bit of a stomach. They could possibly have the ideal “hourglass” figure. If this is a male, he can have a slender or stocky build, yet can also be quite muscular as well. They have nice and toned legs as well, if not, they could have longer legs with a shorter torso. They could also have quite broad shoulders and even big pecs as well. Also, he may have a prominent Adam’s apple, or something significant about their neck (long or short neck).

♡ They could have darker hair, mostly dark-brown hair or jet black. This person’s hair definitely stands out in some way, this could be the texture, color, luminosity, or style of their hair. They may have curly or wavy textured hair. Their hair is pretty thick or they tend to opt for more natural styles, I’m channeling an Afro, braids, or locs for some. I also channeled a widow’s peak / Eddie’s point. They could possible have a bigger head or broader forehead. 

♡ They may have tattoos.

♡ They have attractive hands. This could be their fingers or the size of their hands. They could have quite veiny arms and hands.  ♡ They may have a beautiful smile and charming dimples. They could also have full pouty lips. ♡ Thick eyebrows or they have very intense & sharp brows. This could apply to the shape of the brows. ♡ Brown or Darker complexion ♡ They could have delicate and dainty features for some. A pointed chin, expressive and bright eyes, and mischievous, yet friendly smile. ♡ They are pretty well-groomed and take care of their outer appearance. They pay attention to little details when it comes to their style or how they choose to present themselves. If this is a female, she could be into the “clean girl” aesthetic. If this is a male, he prefers a more polished and refined style regardless of their personal aesthetic. This person is very stylish and knows exactly how to present themselves well. They are experimental when it comes to their style but nothing too extreme. They smell very good whether they are female or male. If you are attracted to females, she may opt for mor floral or sweet fragrances, and if you are attracted to males, he may opt for more intense spicy or woody / earthy scents. They may like to wear jewelry, mostly necklaces, bracelets, or watches. ♡ They have great posture.

♡ They have a calm and composed demeanor, always appearing sure and confident in themselves. They rarely allow their emotions to show on their face. ♡ Overall, this person may enjoy changing their appearance more than often, so don’t be surprised, if they look different every time you see them.

love languages

physical touch

♡ Your next partner is definitely frisky. They are pretty playful when it comes to you. They get all gitty inside whenever they are in your presence. From the moment they met you, they’ve wanted to kiss you and make you theirs. They caught case of the Love Jones for you, they became so enchanted by you the moment the two of you locked eyes, and have been hooked ever since. You bring out a playful and youthful energy out of them that they have never experienced before. They feel like a kid on Christmas Day when you are around them.  I Want You Around by Snoh Aalegra came to mind. I know I sound repetitive, but you truly make this person feel like a little kid again, you make their inner child feel safe and loved. They love giving you nice and tender warm hugs and embraces. They just love the idea of being wrapped up and around you. It’s almost kinda like a safety blanket for them. Initially as they get to know you better, they will be fighting the urge to not kiss you or make any premature moves on you. They don’t want to come off as a creep or weird, so they would rather allow you to make the first move, but they will try so fucking hard to resist those urges until you give them the green light. I am seeing an image of you giving this person a hug and they stand there in complete shock for a minute or two, trying to gain recollection of what is happening. “Is this really happening, right now”? OMG, this is really happening right now, I’ve been dreaming about this moment for so long”! Your partner’s mind and heart will be racing 99 miles per hour. Remember that episode of Tom and Jerry, when Tom fell head over heels for Toodles Cat. This will literally be how your next partner feels about you. They will be fangirling inside the whole time, and then try to play it off cool afterwards, but they will be over the moon much later, unable to stop thinking or dreaming about that heated encounter between the two of you, even going as far to think of the next time if they get you alone. This person literally worships you and the ground that you walk on. You are literally their dream “girl” or “guy”.  That clip of Rihanna saying, “I’m in love, I’m obsessed” just came to mind . This person doesn’t play about you at all, they are all about you. They literally have hearts in their eyes whenever they see you or even when they hear your name. This person most definitely has sexual fantasies about you, just imagining all the unsavory things they want to do to you and with you turns them on. Fuck Me & Feed Me by Rendezvous At Two is what I’m channeling. They want to sweep you off your feet and rock your world at the same time. They just want to please and pleasure you in any way that you want them to. Everything about you turns this person on. They are like a mad dog in heat in your presence. One whiff of you and they go crazy. They love the way you smell and the way you feel, like you feel so soft when you are in their grasp. It’s almost too much for this person to bear. 

quality time

♡ “I love having you around”. Your next partner simply loves being around you. They look forward to the next time they get to see you and just getting to know you better each and every day. Getting to know your likes and dislikes. Your quirks. What hobbies you’re into. Hangouts will be frequent in the early stages of this relationship. If you see me, then you see “him or her”. They will act as your shadow, never too far behind and always down for whatever shenanigans you’re into. The reason behind this is because they enjoy spending time with you. They would drop any and everything in a heartbeat, just to tag along with you. Intuitively, I got the image of Shrek and Donkey in my head. Life may have been mundane and monotonous before you came into their lives, and ever since, you have given them a purpose and something to look forward to. A reason to smile and be more optimistic about life. I channeled “Someone to Love by Jon B. Your next person truly cherishes every second, minute, and hour they spend with you, never wanting any moment with you to stop or go to waste. They will constantly find new things for you and them to get into. They are very spontaneous, always thinking outside of the box just to keep you satisfied and by their side. Every moment with them is like an adventure. Your next partner is pretty much down for anything, so you will never have to worry about getting them out of their comfort zone. Visiting a new food spot in town, check! Booking flights in a heartbeat, check! Getting matching tattoos, check! Going skydiving, check! It’s truly never a dull moment when you and them are together. Every moment will be one for the books.

words of affirmations

♡ There is not enough words in all the languages that exist in the world that can express how much I feel for you. The love that your next partner has for you runs deep. Deep in a way that it is difficult for you and them to fully comprehend, but all they know is that their feelings for you are genuine and come straight from the heart. Not just words, but actions to follow behind it. They are applying nothing, but pressure.  I do see at first, your person might be a bit hesitant to confess their feelings for you in the beginning stages of this connection because they want to take everything slow and don’t want to come off to strong when it comes to their feelings for you, so they will try to keep everything at a moderate pace for a while, but deep down, this person is just bursting with so much love for you under  the surface that it’s almost unbearable for them to keep it under control and not confess their feelings all in one setting. “I loved you from the very first day, I laid eyes on you”. They have nothing, but deep and genuinely love for you and they can’t wait til they can fully open up to you. As the two of you become closer, this person will start to allow themselves to be more emotionally vulnerable with you and honest about their feelings for you than they did previously. They usually are skeptical about who they share their feelings and thoughts with, out of fear of appearing weak or being taking advantage of, but it will be something about you that makes them feel safe enough for them to let their guard down and open themselves fully with no fear. I’m hearing, Comfortable by H.E.R. They want you to be there safe space, just as much as they will be yours in return. You have no idea how safe, secure, and happy you’ve made this person, and they will devote each and everyday telling you how much you mean to them. 

acts of service

♡ Your next partner is a provider and protector. Whatever you need or want, they will always make sure that you want for nothing. “As long as you got me, I got you”. Your next partner knows that you are capable of doing things on your own, but they just feel the need to take the pressure off or make things a tad bit easier for you in anyway they can. They take pride in taking care of you because it makes them feel good and needed. They want you to view them as your “hero” or “knight in shining armor”, it gives them as sense of purpose to be of service to you, it’s their way of showing how devoted they are to you and that you can count on them in both good and bad times. Your next partner brings or values stability and structure into the relationship. Your person is old school, they prefer to take the lead in the relationship, being able to guide and mold you to becoming a better version of yourself. “We grow together”. They want to be your safe space and your solace in times of need. I intuitively heard, Safety Net by Ariana Grande. They want to be a part of your healing journey, aiding by providing love and support to help you heal from any pain, traumas, and past mistakes that you suffered from. “I’m here to heal, not hurt you”. This explains why your next partner is so protective of you and wants to give you everything you’ve yet to receive. What your next partner offer is the real deal, they want to offer you accountability, respect, fairness, balance, and equality. All the things you have could’ve ever wished and prayed for is wrapped into this person. 

personality

queen of pentacles • two of swords • nine of pentacles

Indecisive 

Modest 

Creative 

Empathetic 

Generous 

Down to Earth

Caring 

Loving 

Humble

Reliable 

Diplomatic 

Self-Sufficient

Gracious

Adventurous

♡ Your person has a very big heart. A heart of gold. They are very loving and compassionate towards others, maybe sometimes a little too compassionate, but it’s just that they want to share their love and kindness with every person they come across. They are very empathetic and feel things deeply than most people and can sometimes take on other people’s problems and feelings as their own, which can be a bit overwhelming for them. It is vital that they learn how to create healthy boundaries with others, so they don’t feel depleted or get taken advantage of. They just love to help people and make people feel special and loved. This person is really an angel!

♡ They are a very creative and imaginative individual. This person is artistically inclined and they enjoy the arts, specially singing, dancing, drawing, or painting. They can gain inspiration from anywhere and can turn nothing into something beautiful and exceptional. 

♡ They are very peaceful and diplomatic. They absolutely detest drama and conflict, often trying their best to either avoid it or come up with a solution to the problem to bring peace and harmony over the situation. They are like the “peacemaker” of their friend group or family unit. “The glue of their relationships”. They are the type of friend that everyone goes to for advice on how to move forward. They love to play Devil’s advocate, often trying to see the pros and cons from each side rather choosing one specific side to avoid drama. “Can everyone just get along” is what I intuitively heard. They are truly lovers, not a fighter and simply just want everyone to make peace, not war (quite a pacifist they can be). They are wonderful listeners and trustworthy. They hardly ever judge and are quite accepting of everyone flaws and all. They can also be a people pleaser as well.

♡ They are family oriented and protective of their family. This person loves their family or love to anything related to family. They could have a great relationship with their parents, but specifically can be close with their mother or feminine energies in their life. They came from a pretty stable and supportive household. 

♡ They are independent and self-sufficient. They know they are destined for great things in life and are determined to succeed whatever they go in life or decide to do with their life. They have a healthy and high self-esteem, so they are very confident and secured in themselves and their accomplishments. They take very great care of themselves and their love ones. They have enough love for themselves and enjoy uplifting and encouraging others. A content and happy person overall, they are rarely ever unhappy, nor will they show it. They know their worth and refuse to settle for anything or anyone less than what they deserve.

♡ A grounded and stable individual. They have a great head on their shoulders. They have a strong appreciation for life and the finer things in life, never taking anything for granted and seeing an opportunity in everything. They are very nurturing and supportive to their love ones and always willing to give a helping hand to those in need. They are very consistent in anything they dedicate their time and effort to. 

♡ They are big nature lovers. They anything dealing with the outdoors. Gardening, hiking, running, walking, you name it, this person is pretty much down for a little adventure.

♡ They are very health conscious. They are very mindful of what they put into their body. They love to nourish and take care of their bodies, whether through exercise and dieting to keep them in good health. They are very in-tuned with their body and prefer to maintain a healthy lifestyle that benefits them physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. 

♡ They can be quite indecisive at times. They have a hard time making decisions or even sticking with a decision once they have made it. It could be that they want to make others happy and are afraid to make a wrong decision or even lose favor with people, if they choose to favor something else. 

♡ They don’t mind be alone for some. Although they are a people person, they don’t mind taking some time out to be alone to enjoy their own company and peace for a while. 

qualities they like about you

♡ Your beauty truly knocks this person on their feet. They find you to be drop dead gorgeous. They like the way you carry yourself and how you take care of yourself. They love the way you put effort into your physical appearance, always looking good. I’m hearing Fancy by Drake. Everything you do takes this person’s breath away, you could dress in a potato sack and they would still think you are the most beautiful thing they ever laid eyes on. They like how high maintenance you are, and how your prioritize your physical appearance. They like your sense of style, how you style your hair, how you do your makeup, the way you smell, and how you keep your nails and toes done. They also find your body to be so attractive and sexy, curves or not. They just like and appreciate how feminine you are.

♡ They like how maternal you are. They feel like you have a maternal nature to you. For some, you could remind this person of their mother or a maternal figure in their life. They like how nurturing and caring you are. How you are willing to help others and willing to help them. They like how supportive you are of them and always encouraging them when they need it. They love how affectionate you are and the way you show them unconditional love. They think that you are the “perfect woman / man” for them, someone that they could take home to their family, marry, start a family with, and create a beautiful and abundant life with. 

♡ They truly admire you and think very highly of you. They could possibly put you on a pedestal. They like how confident and bold you are and how you know your worth. They have nothing but respect and admiration for you. They are proud to claim as their partner    and that you choose to be with them, amongst all the other options, it gives this person a bit of an ego boost. They like how you bring out the best in them or encourage them to be the best version of themselves when they are with you. They truly like how you make them feel special and seen. They also like how you stand out amongst the crowd and don’t feel the need to fit in or seek external validation. They like how you aren’t afraid to embrace your uniqueness, and that you remain true to yourself. 

♡ To this person, they like how you have a unique or outwardly beauty that is rare and stands out amongst others. If you have red / ginger hair (naturally or dyed), they find it to be so beautiful and unique. They also like the color of your eyes, some of you may have green or blue eyes that are truly enchanting to this person. They feel like they are under a spell whenever they look at you. For some, they think you look like a witch. I channeled Lilith or siren energy, so they find you to be very seductive, mystical, fiery, irresistible, and a total wild card. I’m channeling that you may favor Jessica Rabbit to your next partner. 

♡ They like how secretive and mysterious you are. They are always fascinated to know more about you than what meets the eye. You are like a riddle that they would like to solve and figure out, but can’t quite figure out fully, yet they like idea of trying to unravel you. I pick up that your next partner will enjoy the “chase” phase when you met them. Opening Pandora’s box. They like the fact that you aren’t an open book, and that you take your time to trust and let people in. 

♡ They like how intelligent and wise you are. They like the way your mind operates. They like how there is more depth to your personality. They like that you have brains to match with your beauty. 

♡ They like how you believe in a higher power (whatever you define as divine power). For some, you could be religious or spiritual. You trust in divine power with everything in your life.

♡ They like your level of athleticism. They like how active and health conscious you are. They like how you take your health and well-being seriously, and how you take care of yourself. 

♡ They like how supportive you are. You know how to celebrate other people’s and their accomplishments. They like how they can always count on you to be their biggest supporter in good and bad times. 

♡ They like that you know how to have fun, you don’t take your self too seriously. They genuinely enjoy being around you and know that they will always have a wonderful and exciting time when they are with you. 

♡ They like that you are family oriented. This could be with your or their family. They love the level of emotional stability and fulfillment you bring into their lives. 

dynamic of this connection

*in keywords*

6th house synastry • connection of the minds • the couple that pray together, stay together • 11:11 • working out together• The Wood (movie) • changing bad habits to good habits• booking flights • running errands together • library dates • challenging each other’s perspective • reading together / to each other • bible study • Peace of Mind by PartyNextDoor • “your well-being is everything to me” • Look After You by The Fray • gratitude for each other • picking each other’s brain • learning together • long distance relationship • A Whole New World, Aladdin • religious differences • divine counterparts • “you’re apart of my life now” • “there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you” • 9th house synastry • wanting the best for each other • “let’s pour into each other” • self care days • “you need some help with that” • “you’re my priority” • You’re My Latest, My Greatest Inspiration, Teddy Pendergrass • “welp, looks like your stuck with me” • synchronizing each other’s schedule • work husband & wife • “if you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be and why” • growing together • bringing out the best in each other • “you are not what I was expecting” • spiritual awakenings • trying new things together • random debates • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind • laughing at each other’s jokes • “I love who I am when I’m with you” •  finishing each other’s sentences • “my stress reliever” • enlightening conversations • competitiveness, “ I bet you can’t beat me” • “everyday is an adventure worth exploring when I’m with you” • Fools Rush In (movie) • supporting each other’s dreams • “no matter what happens, we fight for each other and stick together” • “you get me, like no one else does” • planning a future together • the love of a lifetime • never a dull moment • meditating together • acts of service • carrying you home • the student & the teacher • collecting mementos • Love Like This by Faith Evans • I Will Be Your Friend by Sade • A Bronx Tale (movie)

channeled song

[yandereunsolved]

Yandere Five w/ apocalypse reader— 'the end of the world is the most unfortunate circumstance to develop an obsessive trauma bond.'

Yandere Five had been but a barely pubescent teen when he so wisely chose to manipulate time to win an argument with his dismissive parental figure. It was jarring in the beginning. Everything he had ever known had been stripped from him. There was nothing left but debris and blood.

He always had his powers to aid him, yet for the first time they failed. He realized that his reliance on them is what caused this problem in the first place.

How could he be so idiotic?

Fastrack, six years or so, he tended to lose track due to the harsh winter blocking what was left of the sun and the overarching smog always present. Where was he going with this? Oh, yes. It made it difficult to calendar because of the extenuating circumstances.

It had to be about February when he met you. The snow had settled over more monotonous ruins of what was probably a rural town. Most of the sun rays were blocked by smog and strange cloud formations manipulated by the effects of it all. Still, he could see you, leaning against what still stood of a brick building, devoring a stale-looking twinkie.

"This one's interesting, huh, Dolores?" Think we're gonna have to shoot em'?"

Yandere Five ends up sticking by your side to culminate resources and find your true reasoning for being here. That's totally the justification, yeah. It isn't as if he is incredibly touch starved and on the edge of losing what little sanity he had. He just needs to figure you out. That he does, a little too well.

Yandere Five becomes overbearing. You can't tell if you are being questioned by your future murderer or stalker. He demands you answer all his questions promptly and with the utmost truth. He doesn't fluff them and act nicely or reply with basic human empathy. He simply loses his edge after he learns one more thing about you.

Are you allowed to do the same to him in return?

Absolutely not.

You learning about him is on a need to know basis. So if he feels that you need to know it, you will.

Take him by his word. You have to.

Yandere Five isn't the largest fan of physical affection, or physical anything in fact. It takes years in the apocalypse for him to willingly be touched by you. That's at least how he tries to appear. His expressions are always so blank and dismissive. A sarcastic quip is always on the tip of his sharp tongue.

Yet after only a few months of traveling together, he is more than eager to feel your skin under his.

He doesn't want to be near you, no, but you injured yourself by being foolish. He warned you against it, and still you continued. So now he is using some of the minimal medical supplies you both have so he can patch you up. If both of you were back pre-apocalypse, then he would definitely install a tracker inside your arm. For protection, obviously.

He doesn't want to be touched, no, but you're shivering. Losing the only other seemingly living human being, besides Delores, in the apocalypse would leave him at a great disadvantage.

He doesn't want intimacy with you, no. He has just to cuddle you to protect you and keep the nightmares away. He has to kiss your irresistible lips to keep your morale up. He has to let his thoughts about you to linger about in private, unexplored places so he may relieve himself to release relaxing and happy hormones. It's simple as that.

Deep down, he knows the true reason is that he has become utterly smitten with you. He has just chosen to do his best to gaslight himself, even though statistics state it only makes those feelings worse. Perhaps he wants that. Maybe he just wants one person in this fucked-up world that is his and his wholly and unequivocally.

Yandere Five even gets rid of his beloved Delores for you. He was growing paranoid about her. She kept teasing him about how lovesick he was. She was talking about starting to fall in love with you too. The final straw is when she said she wanted a threesome with you. In the dead of night, he disposed of her, a bullet in her head.

Strangely enough you dropped the subject after asking once. It puzzled him. Did you truly dislike Delores that much to be so nonchalant about her disappearance? Did you know what he did? Of course you didn't. You obviously hated Delores and are glad she is gone.

Good.

He likes it this way.

No more distractions, just you two.

Yandere Five doesn't want to figure out the equation to get back to his pre-apoctalyptic life. He writes down a bunch of meaningful numbers in chalk. They aren't coordinations for returning to the academy. They're calculations about your possible romantic relationship, sexual aspects, how submissive you are, and more.

He has detailed a four letter plan in his private journal.

S ubmissivness — how complacent are you? are you gullible to his tactic? how strong is your moral code? would you go along with him knowing how truly infatuated he is with your very existence?

I nterest — how are you feeling? what are your reactions? he needs to know every single thing about you. he needs to know all of your likes just as importantly as your dislikes.

N eutrality — how will his actions affect you and everything else around you? what is the path that will keep you closest to him while also making him seem like the one in charge? this is how we will know if he has gone too far.

S way — how close are others getting to you? are they looking to befriend you? are their true intentions more sinister? he has to analyze every expression and every movement of those who make any contact with you.

You call it his diary. It is not a diary! Diaries are for feelings; journals are filled with statistics. Besides, you won't ever find the location of his actual diary. He writes it in southern Sumerian anyway. You don't have a chance at deciphering it.

Yandere Five meets the Handler while you are snoozing away after a particularly hard day of labor. He can't believe the promise this strange woman puts before him. He works for this Commission for five years, and after that, he's good as done. He gets you in whatever place he wishes for the rest of your lives.

It's a bunch of bullshit as far as he's concerned. Miracles usually don't come with strings attached. Then again, does he really have a choice? He doesn't want to see you suffer anymore than you already have.

So he takes this once in a lifetime 'golden' opportunity.

Let's just hope this one doesn't bite him in the ass.

Yandere Five tells you that he has a way to get you out of here. The both of you just have to spend a little time away from each other. His body psychically aches while way from you, and it isn't just because he's a crotchety old man. The both of you weren't going to be young forever.

He doesn't necessarily hate the job until he learns that killing you is part of keeping the time continuum in check. He doesn't wait a day after learning that information. He takes your hand and escapes somewhere in the past.

Of course his calculations were rushed and were off in the worst possible way. Of course he ends up in the middle of his father's funeral, both of you stuck in your thirteen-year-old bodies. Of course Kalus has to make a sex joke about it.

Damn it! He wants to scream at the top of his lungs.

He needs you! He had you all to himself, and then other people just had to fuck it up.

It's okay. It's okay.

He'll figure out a way to stop all of this and keep you forever.

Forever. What a pleasant thought.

[satoruxx]

SAUDADE.

✧ PAIRING: gojo satoru x f!reader, geto suguru x f!reader | 3.7k words

✧ SUMMARY: canon au, set after geto leaves so lots of unresolved feelings, alternate between past and present, megumi and tsumiki cameo, satoru has a raging crush on you but you're blind, suguru also had a raging crush on you but you were still blind, slight angst bc canon jjk events, lots of longing on suguru's end, you're confused af, satoru PINES for you and shoko is so tired of him, but overall very fluffy

✧ RHEYA'S NOTE: will i ever publish the actual canon au? who knows. this fic is written in that same au but it's just a snippet of their lives. if you've read angel on my shoulder, just know that's an alternate ending of this au where reader dies lol. but this is very sweet bc you don't die !! you and satoru love each other lots but suck at showing it. happy valentine's day everyone <33

you glance at satoru's giddy smile, wariness creeping up your shoulders before turning to shoko. "what's wrong with him?" you ask, shifting slightly from where you're leaning against one of balconies of jujutsu high.

"who knows?" she sighs, eyes flickering up to glance at the snowy haired sorcerer just barely before they turn back to you. "ignore him."

"hey!" satoru huffs, walking closer to sling an arm around your shoulder—casual, like it's something he doesn't have to think about. you grumble under the extra weight, shooting him a glare, but he's too busy smiling like he's up to something.

"so…" he grins down at you, eyes shining and full of mischief. "know what day it is today?"

you blink at him, trying to scour your brain. "what's the date again?"

satoru gives you a blank stare, before sighing heavily. "god you're slow. it's february 14th, stupid."

"oh," you reply blankly, relaxing because it's nothing inherently important. "so valentine's day?"

satoru's smile comes back full force—cheeky and blinding. "exactly! and when i went shopping today guess what happened?"

"what happened?" shoko asks boredly, shaking her head when she makes eye contact with you.

"well," he drags out the word, crossing his arms like he's pleased with himself. "i was walking along after picking up some sweets because—"

"because you have an addiction," you supplement, and satoru pauses to glare down at you, reaching out to flick a long finger against your forehead.

"it's not an addiction! and don't interrupt me! anyways—"

you smother a smile that shoko mirrors.

"—i was walking and then these two girls came up to me all smiley. like they were giggling and shit, right?"

"uh huh."

"and they started going on and on about how i was the most handsome guy they've ever seen. and then they asked how come i was walking around by myself on valentine's day."

you blink, suddenly feeling a strange mix of interest and irritation.

"so i told them that it's not really my thing and that i didn't have anyone to celebrate with anyway. and then they said it was actually a crime that someone like me was single on valentine's day."

you have to suppress a roll of your eyes, though you're not sure why.

"so basically the moral of the story is that i'm extremely charming and super good-looking too! and that girls love me!"

he looks at you, eyes scrutinizing your expression as you glance at shoko, unimpressed.

"that's it? that's your crazy story?"

"well you guys always say i'm full of it when i call myself hot! now i have proof that it's a universal truth!"

"well we're not stupid—" shoko rolls her eyes, hugging her arms to push away the cold as she leans against the railing. "—we know you're freakishly hot. you're just obnoxious and we like teasing you."

"ugh." satoru rolls his eyes, huffing as he stretches his joints. "you guys are ridiculous. and—"

he pauses, an odd expression crossing his face as he blinks in thought. then he's turning to you with the most smug smirk you've ever seen on him. "wait. you think i'm hot?"

you frown, lips parting in mild confusion. "huh?"

"that's what shoko just said. that you think i'm freakishly hot."

your brows shoot up, an unfamiliar rush of heat crawling up your skin. "but she said both of us! like it's just something that's obvious. i mean as long as you have eyes anyone can see—"

"oh so it's obvious, is it?" satoru's expression is oddly giddy, a pink flush settling high on his cheekbones.

you gape at him, suddenly speechless. you don't remember satoru ever having the ability to make you speechless before.

you can't comprehend the stirring in your chest—uncomfortable and unfamiliar.

"you—" you scoff, reaching up to shove him away. "you're full of shit. doesn't change no matter how hot you are."

shoko has gone quiet, eyes darting between you and satoru with an uncharacteristic glint of curiosity. but satoru's gaze does not stray away from you, pearly whites on full display as he licks his lips. he doesn't say anything else, running his fingers through his hair.

"sure sure," satoru hums—pleased. "whatever you say."

you throw shoko an exasperated glare, and she shakes her head, though there is a shine of amusement in her eyes—like she knows something that you don't.

"i mean, they were right you know?" satoru ponders, leaning back against the railing. "why aren't we doing something fun today? we used to go out and buy a shit ton of chocolate back when—"

he stops, expression going sour, before disappearing all together. there is a clear absence, one that the three of you notice but try not to linger on.

("valentine's day?" suguru had asked years ago, glancing down at you with a smile. "you like it?"

"definitely not," you reply, cheeks warming as you fiddle with the sugared churros in your hand, unable to look at him. "what's so great about a day where couples spend a shit ton of money on each other to make the rest of us singles feel miserable?"

a muted chuckle, and when you look up suguru's eyes are shining with mirth. "i'm sure you wouldn't think that if you weren't single."

"i guess," you huff, glancing at the sidewalk. your face feels like it's on fire—but suguru has always had that effect on you. "not very likely to happen though."

the expression suguru throws you will linger in your mind until the day you die. "what do you mean?" he asks—incredulous, like you were speaking nonsense. he stops in his tracks, the busy streets bustling around him as you continue to walk.

you take a bite of your churro, glancing back at him with clear confusion. "huh? oh i just meant me dating someone is unlikely," you shrug, though suguru looks speechless, lips parted and eyes wide behind dark bangs.

"why on earth do you say that?" he asks, shoving his hands into his pockets. he seems to visibly shake off his initial shock to continue walking, and you patiently wait for him to rejoin your side—he does.

"i don't know," you say, somewhat bashfully because you don't usually talk about these things with him. "do you really think there's room for things like that in our lives?"

"do you?" he counters, and you're too busy formulating your answer to notice that he's oddly interested, eyes continuously darting over your face.

"i mean, it'd be great if there was," you ponder, taking another quick bite. "it'd be nice to be able to settle down with someone even after all the crap we've gone through."

"right…" suguru seems to nod along with you, matching your steps even with his longer stride.

"but—" you stress. "considering that most of us are too traumatized or dead by that time, i don't have much faith."

you laugh at your own statement, but there isn't much amusement in it at all. putting it into words makes you truly realize how shitty your lives are even at such a young age.

your mind drifts to the cerulean eyed sorcerer who's currently off in a different city, being made to fight because he is god on earth in a seventeen year old body. it drifts to a brown haired girl who sits, secluded in a room as bodies are sent to her on a conveyor belt, her hands outstretched to feel blood and gore and horror day in and day out. then it drifts to the boy who is most like you, the one with the dark bangs who rationalizes this pain, this service you have devoted yourselves to with the need to do good for others—because there is no other explanation for why you have to go through this.

the same boy who takes your answer in critically, eyes heavy with an oddly somber sheen. he doesn't say anything, thinking hard, and you focus on eating your churro because you've never once found silence with suguru to be uncomfortable.

you are halfway finished when he breaks it.

"well…" suguru's voice is oddly high, a tick of nerves that doesn't usually infiltrate his calm tone. "if there was room for it, what would a good valentine's day look like for you?"

you laugh, loud and unfiltered, and suguru's skin flushes at the sound.

"i don't know!" your laughter dies down into hushed giggles. "i can't think of anything. besides this is stupid as hell!"

"indulge me," he says quietly, and when you turn to look up at him he's staring at you deeply—eyes hooded and smile gone. you suddenly feel oddly parched as heat crawls up your neck.

"um—" you swallow, the churro in your hand forgotten as you glance at the sidewalk again. "i-i'm not sure. i've really never thought that much about it."

"would you want flowers?" he asks. you suddenly become acutely aware that his voice has gone lower, throaty and deep in a way that sends chills up your spine.

you shake your head quietly, somehow nervous to look at him. "it makes me sad that they die off in a few days. better to keep them planted than cut them for a bouquet."

a quiet huff of laughter—fond and nostalgic. "that's on par for you. very in-character."

you lick your lips, tasting the sugar from the treat in your hand. "i guess…maybe i'd like chocolates?"

"chocolates?" suguru repeats, like he's surprised. you don't know why his reaction has you stumbling, but you shake your head quickly, appalled that you're even telling him this in the first place.

"i mean—it's not a big deal or anything! even just a small box of them would do! i don't really care anyway—"

"i would've guessed you'd like a plushie or something along those lines." he hums, a small smile stretching across his face. there's a dust of color blooming across his cheekbones, and you think he looks unfairly charming.

"that's good too!" you reply, too quickly, before catching yourself and ducking your head. "i mean…i don't know. plushies are really cute. i think they'd be a cute gift."

there's a beat of silence, and when you look up suguru is smiling at you like you've just put the stars in the sky for him. he hums to himself, eyes darting around the streets and looking much more at ease than he did a few minutes prior. you find yourself unable to look away.

"what would you want?" the words escape before you can stop them.

"me?" he asks, tilting his head in mild surprise.

"yeah. what would you want for valentine's day?"

suguru blanches, gaze darting over your facial features with shocking speed. it lingers on your eyes, before flickering downward, then shooting back up. you're trying to trace them but they're too fast, and he shuts them before you can process anything. he keeps his eyes closed as you curiously await his answer.

to this day you don't quite understand what he meant.

"anything i can get," he answers with a rueful smile, shaking his head at you fondly. his eyes bore into yours with an intensity you've never seen before. "anything at all.")

a familiar voice tickles your ear amongst the silence even now, and you rub your palms together. you can feel satoru's gaze on you, trailing over your expression—searching, analyzing.

you let him—used to it.

"that's enough of that for now. plus don't the two of you have to go check on the kids today?" shoko asks, eyeing the two of you pointedly. her voice has a strain to it, one that you can only pick up because you've known her so long. but you're grateful for the change in subject as you glance at satoru, who checks his phone.

"ah shit. they should be back from school by now but we were supposed to pick up some groceries beforehand," he mutters under his breath before looking down at you. "you wanna head over there first and i'll go get some stuff?"

"sure," you reply, patting shoko's shoulder in farewell. satoru steps closer, digging into his pockets before dropping the apartment keys into your palm. he pushes his shades up the bridge of his nose, eyes trailing over your face like he's searching for something, and yet you can't make out what.

a beat of silence.

"d-don't forget to get some of those cookies tsumiki said she liked last time." you drop the keys into your bag and shrug off the odd feeling of this conversation—something strange that you don't feel like looking into because you're scared of what you'll find out about yourself.

satoru's eyes go soft, a mixture of somber and affectionate, and he smiles easily. "you got it." he reaches out to ruffle your hair, licking his lips as he heads for the door. "see you later."

you watch him go, and think that you'd rather have him by your side. but you keep that to yourself—so used to sewing your mouth shut.

("which do you want?" you ask satoru, who peers at the shelves over your shoulder. his close proximity does nothing to you, but he seems oddly giddy when he glances at your side profile.

"hmm, the white chocolate," he answers, low and hushed, like it's meant only for you to hear. you can feel the energy radiating off of him—can feel it shake your very soul.

"okay," you reply, reaching up for the box, but satoru beats you to it. he stretches up, towering over you and you shoot him an playful glare. he had gotten a growth spurt over the holidays and wouldn't let you forget it.

"aw this is so sweet of you," he teases, excited and all too pleased. you roll your eyes, hiding a smile.

"you're the one who's been bugging us for valentine's day chocolate."

"like it wasn't a good idea," he counters with a grin. "even if we're all single we should still get chocolate."

you snort in amusement, before turning to call out across the aisle. "suguru which one should i get you?"

the dark haired male meets your gaze, and the warmth of it sends a tickle through your stomach. he shakes his head with a gentle smile, eyes crinkling at the corners. "don't worry about it. you know i'm not big on sweets anyway."

you deflate—he smiles at you like he's happy you asked.

"you can give me his share," satoru interjects with a playful smirk, pressing his palm into your shoulder. you shake your head in exasperation.

"no way. i'm still going to get him something." your eyes dart across the shelves, before you reach up and pull down a box of unsweetened chocolates, tied with a red ribbon. "this should be good."

satoru eyes the box, and you glance at him. "suguru would like these right?"

"yeah," he shrugs, before crossing his arms. "as long as they aren't crazy sweet. he hates sweet stuff."

"okay good. then i'll get him these!" your smile stretches wide, and it doesn't go unnoticed.

"you're being awfully thoughtful today," satoru comments. you look at him quickly, quirking a brow.

"well i can't just get you one. you're not my only friend." you shoot back.

satoru grins. "guess that's true."

his arm takes its position around your shoulder as you head towards the counter.

"you were really particular about getting suguru something though. any special reason?" he pipes up, and you immediately go still, looking at him as you try to bite back an uncharacteristic surge of panic.

"of course not! i got something for everyone. i even got shoko the rum and raisin chocolates." you say quickly, fighting the urge to crumble under satoru's implications. "besides this was all your idea anyway!"

you dig into your wallet, pulling out exact change and smiling at the cashier, who puts all of your chocolates into a bag. you decide you'll gift them later, when you're in the comfort of the dorm.

"okay let's leave—" you pause when you turn around, breath catching.

because satoru is staring at you, an odd expression on his face. there's something behind his eyes—realization mixed with another emotion you can't quite place.

you're not sure if the expression excites you or scares you.)

you don't expect tsumiki to be so excited when you push open the door. she bounds out of her small bedroom, practically tripping over herself as she chants your name over excited giggles.

"hey kiddo, how was school?" you smile as she throws her arms around your waist. you pat her hair, making a mental note to take her for a haircut sometime soon.

"good! my friends gave me some chocolates today!" she's giddy as she says this, and you smile playfully.

"oh yeah? any boys?"

she immediately flusters at your quirked brow and teasing grin. "of course not!"

you laugh, patting her head again as you take a seat on the couch. "okay okay! where's your brother?"

you don't see the dark haired nine-year-old anywhere. normally he'd be doing his homework at the kitchen table—so much more diligent than you ever were at that age.

"he's in his room," tsumiki answers, and your eyes catch the sneaky bit of amusement in her face.

"doing what?" you ask curiously. she smothers a smile, shrugging.

"i'm not sure." she raises her voice to call out. "megumi! she's here!"

you can hear him grumbling down the hall, hear his little footsteps padding across the floor—affection swells within you.

you think back to the day satoru dragged you to meet him, and you internally remind yourself to thank him.

"hey gumi." you offer the kid a smile, though it falters when you notice the way his hands are hiding behind his back even as he mumbles a quiet greeting in return. "what's wrong?"

"i…" his voice catches, and you notice the heavy pink flush crawling up his neck and into his cheeks. "i just wanted to…"

he trails off again, and tsumiki nudges him discreetly. "just do it!" she whispers, not all that quietly. your eyes dart between them in confusion, and megumi tries to sink into his sweater's collar.

"megumi what's wrong? are you okay?" there's a note of concern you can't keep from your voice, and tsumiki gently pushes him closer to you. "did something happen?"

"no…" he mumbles, attempting to hide his face even more. "i just wanted to…give…"

you blink owlishly. "give…?"

megumi lets out an exasperated huff, brows pinching helplessly before thrusting his arms into your line of sight. "here!"

your lips part. in his little hands are a box of chocolates and a small stuffed bear.

"this is…" you trail off, taking them from his hands.

"he wanted to give you something for valentine's day! to show you how much he appreciates you!" tsumiki interjects, practically bouncing on her feet.

"no i didn't! it's just chocolates stop making it sound like such a big deal!" megumi immediately snaps, glaring at his sister. you can practically see his cheeks burn with embarrassment, and you think you will never stop caring for this kid. there's a tickle of a distant memory—small fists clenched around a backpack and deep green eyes that stare up at you in childish apprehension.

those same green eyes now sneak glances at you, assessing your reaction, and you decide to put him out of his misery.

"this is so sweet megumi. thank you!" you smile at him gratefully, touched beyond recognition. your heart swells with affection once more.

megumi shoves his hands into his pockets, a stubborn pout on his face that makes the fat of his cheeks look that much more endearing. "whatever, it's not a big deal."

tsumiki shoots him a glare, before turning to you with a wide smile. "he says that but he was really excited to get you something!"

megumi gapes at her, eyes going wide in betrayal before they narrow. "shut up! besides it was gojo-san who gave me the idea!"

you blink, before smiling somewhat gingerly. though there is a strange sort of satisfaction in you when you hear those words—the mention of satoru's name. as detached as he tries to remain, you know all too well how much more there is to his character.

"i thought gojo-san would suggest flowers," tsumiki ponders, reaching out to squish the little bear before looking at you curiously. "aren't flowers a typical gift to get someone for valentine's day?"

you shrug, smiling carelessly. "i guess so. but i'm glad he didn't because i don't really like flowe—"

it hits you. echoes of a conversation that occurred many many winters ago. it washes over you, a refreshing tide that cools your skin and tickles your face.

of course, it made sense now that you thought about it. there were no secrets between satoru and suguru after all.

a chime cuts through the silence. you glance down at your phone to see a casual text from the snowy haired wonderboy who has been by your side since the beginning, and you can't help but smile.

i'll be home in a minute :P

a promise that has remained constant all these years.

so you type back.

hurry back. waiting for you.

you smile to yourself, heart thudding heavily against your ribcage. "hm."

tsumiki quirks a brow. "what?"

"nothing," you shake your head, wetting your lips as you reach down to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. she smiles at you, stars in her eyes, and you think you'll remember that smile forever. "i was just thinking."

"about what?" megumi can't stop the curiosity from seeping into his voice as he peers at you. you grin, gently patting his head with the bear plushie and laughing when he swats you away.

"valentine's day," you answer, smiling at them as you stand up to head to the door. you already know who's about to knock. "i was just thinking that it's not too bad of a holiday."

[tonicandjins]

learning languages | lee donghyuck

pairing: lee donghyuck | nct haechan x reader word count: 18.5k genre: university au, getting together, smut, fluff, angst summary: in which you're an exchange student and donghyuck teaches you the essential korean phrases you need, and eventually how to fall in love with him tag list: @smwhrinthehaze @byungbyungbaek @sundamariis @thiccfullsun @yesohhsehun @haechoshi @najmnluvr @liz-zo @heyitsconysstuff @magicastle @novawon @gaeulswrld author’s note: I’m so sorry it took so long, but here it is! I imagine conversations with everyone in Korean, except for Mark! 😊 I imagine the conversations with Mark in English. I also have 0 knowledge with the Korean language except from the common phrases every Kpop fan knows lol. So please bare with me and feel free to correct me! ^^ Please also consider tipping me if you want to! NCT Dream is coming to my country this April and I’d love to see them if I could :) TIP ME HERE.

날씨가 추워 (nalssiga chuwo) – the weather is cold

The rain is pouring when you arrive in Incheon. 

It’s not as harsh as it is where you come from, but the February breeze still makes you shiver and curse under your breath, and while you’re wallowing and pouting over the fact that your first day in South Korea is not going as well as you wanted, Mark is chirpy—a little too happy for your liking. 

Of course, Mark is happy. Your bitterness over the weather is not going to spoil his energy, the exact same one—maybe stronger—he has had over the past couple of weeks, counting down the days he’d be back in Seoul, finally. Mark has told you that it had been over a decade since he last visited South Korea, and the Student Exchange Program from your university had been the best opportunity for him to come back after so long, too long. The stupid smile on his face somehow makes you feel better, especially when he jumps from his seat when he sees his childhood friend walk towards your area. 

Renjun is handsome like the picture that Mark sent you a week before your flight to South Korea, but it feels a little unfair that he’s even more attractive in person. His voice sounds like honey and the corner of his eyes crinkle when he smiles as he approaches you and Mark. 

They jump into a tight, dramatic hug that makes a few other people in the waiting area look, but the boys don’t care. Mark lifts Renjun up from the ground, it’s almost embarrassing. The sight makes you feel warm. You wonder how Mark feels. 

It must be amazing, you think, to finally meet someone you’ve been longing to see. Mark had always expressed his yearning for the place—the people, the friends he always had to leave behind when visiting during summer—and it makes you wonder how it feels like to have friends and family away from you. 

Evidently, this is your first time to be away from home. You live (or used to at this point) in a dormitory, a two-minute walk to the campus, a good hour away from home, but you always went home whenever you craved for your mother’s dishes. You’ve never considered living away from home. Sure, you had plans to move out eventually, but not in a different time zone, not in an entirely different culture. Mark, on the other hand, is frequently moving around, dragging his suitcase from place to place, leaving people behind and promising he’d come back when he can.

Born in Canada, Mark had been to more places that you could count, but he has told you many times that nowhere else feels like home, like Seoul. He’s told you many stories of the time his family lived there for a few years before going back to Canada, of his annual visits in the summer, and of his devastation when life had caught up with him that he had to stop visiting when he turned eleven. 

You remember his voice, its tone and emotion, when he called you a couple of months ago, informing you of the exchange program that the university’s administration had posted on the students’ corner, and how fucking amazing it would be if you could sign up with him. 

“It would be a good addition to your credentials,” he had told you. “It’s not going to be for a long time, a semester at least. And we have the option to stay the whole academic year if we wanted to! Plus, I already know a lot of people there. We’ll be fine!”

“I don’t know, Mark,” you had answered, feigning hesitation, even when you knew deep down that Mark had already convinced you by the tone of his voice when he revealed the news. “I’ve never been that far away from home. Remember when we went camping in ninth grade? I cried. For three whole days. I’m not going to survive a semester. Besides, I know not a single Korean word.”

“Come on, Y/N,” he had begged. “Think about it. You’ll be with me the entire time. If we pass the screening, the program will sign us up for free Hangul lessons—though, let’s be honest, I don’t really need it.”

“Why do you have to bring me anyway?” you had asked out of curiosity.

“Because I know you’ll love it there,” he had answered. “Your obsession with studying culture and languages will be satisfied because there is no better way to learn a culture than experiencing the whole thing with your best friend!”

You remember humming in response, as if you’re thinking deeply about it. Mark sighed on the other line, his words making you laugh and finally agree. 

“The chances of Mom letting me go is bigger when I tell her you’re coming with me,” he had admitted. Mark, upon hearing your agreement to his proposal, began listing out the places he would take you. The phone call lasted for three more hours and it had seemed like Mark already had an entire plan in his head before he even asked you if you would go with him. 

Passing the program had been easy and so was acquiring your visa. What was truly the pain in the ass, you admit, is learning the damn language. You salute Mark for being able to speak Korean so fluently, but he’s shit at teaching you and you had to rely on the free lessons you had taken every weekend and your favorite language mentor, Lee Minho in Legend of the Blue Sea. Your Korean is awful. Your tongue is a little too short, too stiff, for said language, and the situation almost makes you back out of the entire program and ditch Mark. 

But here you are, still shit at Korean, but standing among hustling people and waiting for your best friend to wrap up the moment he’s sharing with his long-time friend. Renjun finally catches your eyes as you awkwardly watch them on the side, your backpack becoming heavier each second you’re standing on the airport tiles. He pulls away from Mark, smiling, beaming towards you and offers a handshake. 

“Hwang Renjun,” he introduces. You remember their last names go first here. “Nice to meet you.”

It almost startles you when he speaks English. Mark forgot to mention his friend is fluent, you think. 

You tell him your name, voice smaller than it usually is, and express your relief that he speaks English. 

“I’m originally not from here either,” he explains. “I’m Chinese. My family had to move here before I could even properly pronounce words for my Dad’s work. Went to an international school, where I met Mark back in second grade.”

So, he’s cute and multilingual. How unfair.

“And I’d love to chat longer,” he says, switching to Korean now, before you can even respond. “But Hyuck is waiting in his car. We could talk on our way to your dormitory. For now, let’s go. Hyuck hates waiting.”

“Hyuck drove? What happened to your car?” Mark asks, helping you with your luggage and pushing the cart himself. Renjun insists to carry your backpack, and he had already gently pulled it from your shoulder before you could refuse.

Mark and Renjun talk about Hyuck, both switching to speaking Korean now, on their way out of the arrival area and it doesn’t take long for them to spot their friend’s car outside. The rain had stopped pouring by the time you’re settling yourselves inside their friend’s car. The second you settle yourself on the leather seat, you sigh in relief. Traveling is a lot more exhausting than you had initially thought. 

Renjun sits on the passenger seat, right beside Hyuck, you assume, and Mark settles himself beside you.

“Mark Lee,” Hyuck greets, looking at Mark through the rearview mirror. “A pleasure to finally meet you.”

It takes you a second to understand what he said. It’s only then that you realize you really are in Korea. 

“Lee Donghyuck,” Mark responds in the same tone. “You’re real. I’m happy to see you in person and not just through Facetime. I want to hug you.”

“Am I better looking in person?” Hyuck teases. “Hug me when we’re at your dormitory. I’ll even kiss you on the lips if you want to.”

“Disgusting,” Mark grimaces. “By the way—” He turns his attention to you the same time Hyuck begins driving. “This is Y/N.”

Hyuck only smiles, nodding a little to you through the rearview mirror, brushing his brown hair using his fingers to fix it up. Renjun begins to ask how the flight was and Mark replies. All three boys strike up a conversation in Korean and it was all too much, too fast, for you to catch up and understand anything, so you stay quiet on your seat, leaning against the window, and begin to wonder how things will go for the entire spring semester you’ll be spending in this foreign city. 

Mark never told you that the drive from Incheon to Seoul is long, so far that you didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep.  When you arrive at the dormitory, it’s past six in the afternoon and Mark’s friends ask kindly if you want to go out for dinner. Politely and quite incoherently, you tell them that you’d like to stay. Mark insists on staying home with you and unpacking your belongings, but you urge him to go, spend some time with his friends and walk around. Mark hesitates, but agrees nonetheless, promising he will come back in an hour.

The place the program had picked for you and Mark is not that bad. It’s nothing like home, but it’s not bad. It makes you wonder how Mark does it. You remember not being able to sleep on the first few nights on your dormitory’s bed when you were a freshman. Mark had never told you if he’s had trouble adapting to places he’s been. Maybe you could ask him in the morning. 

The exhaustion hits you again upon entering one of the rooms. Room assignment is yet to be decided, but Mark wouldn’t mind if you sleep on one of the beds while he’s out. And so, you sleep. 

You don’t remember what you dream of. And Mark wakes you at seven in the morning, reminding you that you had to unpack and go grocery shopping. Momentarily, you forget where you are. It hits you the same way it does in his friend’s car. You’re in a different country. A different language. A different time zone. 

It doesn’t feel like home at all even though it’s cold. But you guess you’ll have to make it work. At least until the semester ends. 

약속해요 (yagsoghaeyo) – I promise

When Mark told you he knew a lot of people in Seoul, you should’ve known he was bluffing because he literally knew only seven people.

Mark Lee’s friends are warm and loud and somehow you feel out of place when they all decide to hangout where you and Mark are. It’s the first week of the semester, and you have completed all the orientation and tour you need; Mark, on the other hand, is still catching up with everyone.

By everyone, he meant Kevin Moon, a senior who is also Mark’s cousin’s long-distance boyfriend who happens to be studying in SNU too, Hwang Renjun from Natural Sciences, Lee Donghyuck from Music, Lee Jeno and Na Jaemin from Engineering and Architecture, Zhong Chenle from Humanities, and Park Jisung from Business Administration. Which is why every day, for the past five days, you’re at a place called Arcade, with Mark and two or three people from their group.

It turns out Huang Renjun and Na Jaemin were Mark’s friends from childhood, the others are friends by extension.

Huang Renjun, you understand why Mark is closest to him among all. He’s soft all over but sharp in the mouth. Renjun, you learn, likes to talk about life and likes to give people advice when they need it. He’s reserved with other people but is the complete opposite when he’s with his friends.

Lee Jeno is shy. He normally joins the group after his internship at a construction corporation in the outskirts of Seoul, which is why you haven’t really seen him much—only twice. You haven’t had that many conversations with him yet, but he’s kind enough to pass you the ketchup when he sees you staring at it from the end of the table.

Zhong Chenle and Park Jisung are best friends. There’s not a day that you have not seen either without the other, kind of reminds you of how you and Mark are. They join whenever one is available—two peas in a pod.

Na Jaemin is the closest with Lee Donghyuck. You see them talking in their bubble more frequently than the others. Jaemin is mysterious and a little cold—the complete opposite of Lee Donghyuck.

Lee Donghyuck, well, you’ve got a lot to say about him.

It isn’t necessarily an uncomfortable feeling, because Mark’s friends are kind enough to slow down when they talk to you and are quite protective of you, especially when a random stranger bravely comes up to you to introduce themselves. Lee Donghyuck, in particular, who’s as warm as the sun touching your skin at nine in the morning and whose voice is careful and assuring, ensures that you’re never out of place—even when you feel it all the time. From the day the semester started, there hasn’t been a day when Donghyuck isn’t hanging out with you and Mark at Arcade.

Mark normally picks you up from class because thank God your schedules are aligned to each other despite having different majors. The College of Social Sciences is quiet, unlike the building right beside you, College of Music, and Mark usually takes five minutes to find you, because you can’t trust yourself to walk around on your own—at least not yet. But today, Mark asked if you could meet Kevin first because his girlfriend had something for him from Canada.

“Hyungseo!” You hear someone call, making you look up from your phone to see Kevin walking towards you. He stops and turns around, a girl you’ve seen around the college of social sciences once or twice running towards him.

“Don’t forget to bring the laminated cards we need for Friday!” the lady shouts. Kevin gives her a thumbs up and turns back to you.

“Y/N, right?” he asks in English. You nod. He offers a hand. “I’m sorry we haven’t met personally yet. But I’m Kevin.”

“She called you Hyungseo, though,” you trail off, accepting the handshake anyway. “I’ve seen your pictures from Giselle’s phone, so I knew it was you.”

He laughs. “Hyungseo’s my Korean name. You should’ve packed her with you.”

You reach for your bag and hand him the box that’s been sitting in your backpack all day. “Here,” you say. “No plans on visiting sometime soon?”

Kevin sighs. “I wish I could,” he answers. “It’s not as easy as we thought.”

“You guys sound okay though,” you comment. “I mean, Giselle always sounds so happy when she talks about you back home.”

This makes Kevin smile. “Oh, she does?”

“Why would she think of getting you a gift all the way from home if she’s not?” you ask, biting your tongue as soon as the words come out. “Sorry, I shouldn’t ask.”

“Let’s talk about this over some soju when you find a dude you want to spend the rest of your life with here,” he jokes. “Thanks for bringing this. You and Mark have been so busy; he’s been declining all my invitations to hangout.”

You sigh, “Yeah. It’s only the first week and there are lot of things we had to do. I’ll ask him if we can hang out on the weekend?”

Kevin agrees and hands his phone to you, asking to put your number so he could call you. You do and tell him you’re grateful you could talk to someone in English aside from Mark and bid him goodbye when he leaves. You shoot Mark a text, telling him you’ll be waiting for him and that Kevin’s dropped by to get his gift from Giselle.

Hence, you wait outside, busying yourself with your phone, trying to avoid any interaction as much as you can, and you don’t notice Donghyuck standing beside you until he taps your shoulder and gives you a warm smile.

“Mark is running late,” he says slowly. “Let’s go to Arcade together.”

You smile at Donghyuck’s attempt to pronounce Arcade how you would and nod at him. He leads the way out of the building, his backpack on one shoulder, and asks you how your classes are so far.

“It’s okay,” you answer because it’s all you can think of. “Thank God my professor in Psychology speaks English.”

Donghyuck hums. “It must be difficult for you.”

“It is,” you confess.

Among everyone you have met so far, Donghyuck gives you the feeling of comfort; you’re not exactly the most outgoing person nor the least—you were in between. You were okay with that. And you were okay that Donghyuck is okay with that, too. He doesn’t push you to speak more (probably because he knows you most likely do not know how to say whatever you had in mind), but can be very persuasive when there’s a hint that you’re relaxed.

Lee Donghyuck is bold and charming and amiable like nobody you’ve ever known. Normally, or at least with how you’re used to, people are a little more reserved around people they just met. And culturally speaking, you didn’t expect Donghyuck to be so forward and already so comfortable hanging out with you, what more with having conversations like this.

“Don’t worry, though,” he assures. “You’ll be fine. You’re here for about six months, anyway. I promise it’ll be the best six months of your college years.”

He’s also bright like this—optimistic and kind and assuring. You’re glad Mark is friends with people like him, with Donghyuck.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” you try to say, a phrase Mark taught you the other night. “Did I say that right?”

Donghyuck giggles, stopping and reaching up to ruffle your hair. “You’re absolutely adorable.”

“That, I am,” you joke back, more comfortable around him now.

“I promise,” he says. “It’ll be so good; you wouldn’t want to go back to Canada.”

한국말 잘 못해요 (hangugmal jal moshaeyo) – I don’t speak Korean well | 죽을래 (jug-eullae) – Do you want to die?

Donghyuck turns out to be a better teacher than Lee Minho and Mark Lee combined. He gifts you a small, pocket-friendly notebook, asking you to keep it for the rest of your stay, notably commenting that the material’s size will allow you to bring it everywhere you go. Hence, the tiny, brown faux leather notebook is safely tucked between your necessities inside your bag.

The first sentence he teaches you turns out to be the most essential: I don’t speak Korean well.

Donghyuck takes you to a café called 7 Days, an entirely different vibe compared to Arcade. You don’t question Donghyuck when he puts an arm on your shoulder as you walk together inside the café, but he asks you right away when he must have felt you stiffen from the touch: “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” you answer quietly.

Donghyuck smiles warmly at you. “Here, have a look around and I’ll get you something to drink before we decide what we want to eat. I have the perfect drink for you!”

He goes before you could say anything. You look and realize that the café is not so bad. Its aesthetic is the complete opposite of what Arcade’s going for—cozy, serene, almost like a good place to study or sleep in, whatever you need to survive the day—and the Biscoff latte is bomb, you don’t think you can drink latte differently now.

Conversations with Donghyuck could, well, unfortunately, go only where your limit is. He’s fun and likes to tell a lot of stories, but it’s always interrupted with you asking what a word means and him pulling up his phone and have his translation app say it for you. He makes jokes that you regrettably do not understand, but Donghyuck doesn’t take it to the heart and only says: “By the end of the term, you’ll be saying these jokes to Mark Lee.”

Donghyuck excuses himself to go to the toilet about an hour later and allows you a few minutes by yourself, which you happily spend taking pictures of the interior of the café. You sigh when you realize you didn’t take a picture of the Biscoff latte when it was full and pretty. Someone taps you on the shoulder, and it could only be Donghyuck, so you turn with a smile.

“I forgot to take a picture of the drink—Oh.” It’s not Donghyuck. “I’m sorry, how can I help you?” you ask politely.

The man towers over you and he smiles warmly. Your cheeks flush when he does, because you probably mispronounce each syllable from that sentence. “I’m Sanha.”

You bow courteously, still have 0 idea why the man is talking to you.

“I don’t see you around often,” he says. “And I’m here, like, almost all the time unless I have a class. My dad owns the place. How do you like it so far?”

“It’s… okay,” you say. Sanha chuckles, and your face is hot you probably look like a red potato now. “I mean, not just okay, I just can’t find the words to—”

He takes Donghyuck’s seat. “I can teach you,” he offers. “We can meet up here, and—”

Donghyuck calls your name, voice firm and monotonous like never before. “It’s getting late. Mark texted me to take you home early because Chenle’s making dinner at your place.”

You look at Sanha apologetically, still unable to reply properly so you only say, “I’m sorry.”

Donghyuck doesn’t give you the chance to say anything more because he’s already helping you out of your seat, turning you around so you could start walking towards the door, pushing you until you’re out of the café.

You hear him sigh as you walk away from the café, arm around your shoulder like how you entered the place.

“Y/N, my sweet pea,” he softly says. “Please don’t to talk strangers.”

You shrug, “It’s not like I could just ignore him when he was already taking you space.”

He scoffs. “When strangers start talking to you and being all brave and upfront, you tell them: I don’t speak Korean well. Then just start hitting them with English words and exaggerate your accent. That’s how Mark Lee tries to avoid conversations with girls sometimes because he’s a loser and women make him nervous.”

“I don’t speak Korean well,” you repeat, slowly pronouncing each syllable.

“Where’s the notebook I asked you to bring everywhere?” Donghyuck asks. “Write that down.”

You nod and tell him you’d do it later. Donghyuck leads the way towards the stop just in time for the bus that’s about to leave. You and him hop in, taking the seats in the back, giggling when Donghyuck almost topples over as soon as the bus starts to move. He lets you sit by the window and starts telling you about how his sister always fights him to get the window seat and he’s never won so he naturally just gives people the said seat.

You’re nearby the next stop when you ask him: “Donghyuck, what if I tell people I don’t speak Korean well and they wouldn’t stop bothering me?”

Donghyuck looks nice in his brown, fluffy jacket, face bare, his eyeglasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. He looks even nice whenever he smiles like this.

“Y/N, do you know how cute you are?” An answer you don’t expect. “You’re so cute when you ask questions like this. I want to put you in my pocket.”

“Donghyuck,” you sigh, expecting a serious answer.

He reaches up to pat your head. “You won’t have to worry because we won’t let you be on your own unless you ask us to stay away. Especially me. Not me. I’ll make sure to take care of you and Mark while the two of you are here.”

You nod, still not satisfied with the answer. The Sanha situation awhile ago makes you realize how helpless you’d be if you weren’t with Mark or any of his friends. Donghyuck probably notices your dissatisfaction when he feels like you’re sulking, which you definitely are, because he chuckles and pokes your cheek to get your attention again.

“If it makes you feel better,” he says. “You could always ask them if they want to die.”

“That’s mean!” you gasp.

“Or tell them to fuck off,” he shrugs.

“Donghyuck!”

“What?” he asks. “It’s not like I don’t hear you and Mark say ‘fuck you’ to each other every day.”

You laugh at that. “Saying it in Korean hits different.”

“Right!” Donghyuck agrees. “I’ve been telling people saying fuck you in Korean has more impact than in any other language. I can say the word fuck every day.”

“You kiss your mother with that mouth?” you joke.

Donghyuck coos. “Oh, I’m so proud of you. You’re cracking jokes now.”

The bus halts at your stop, and Donghyuck helps you up by taking your hand the way he’s helping you learn the language. It’s only when you’ve reached the street to the apartment you share with Mark that you realized you’ve been holding hands all the way from the bus stop.

저 알러지 있어요 (jeo alleoji iss-eoyo) – I’m allergic

“Do you not understand what you just did, Mark Lee?” you ask in disbelief.

It’s only a month into your stay in Seoul, and Mark does the dumbest thing ever. Mark Lee comes home with a pet cat.

There were three rules for the spring semester, three very specific and very easy rules: one, to always text each other’s location as soon as you step foot outside of the apartment (which you and him are constantly compliant about; you love Mark Lee for that); two, to never skip a class unless you’re sick (you’re only here until July; Mark decided he’s not wasting a single day in Seoul, even if it means going to classes on time and by schedule without fail); and lastly, don’t keep things you won’t be able to take back home.

Mark had said that these rules are specifically for you because rule number one ensures your safety, rule number ensures you get the real Korean education experience, and rule number three apparently ensures you’re not leaving anything important at the airport when you leave—which now you think is bullshit. The rules are more for him than you, but you love Mark Lee, and it’s not like the cat isn’t cute.

“But, Y/N,” Mark pouts. “She kept on staring at me with these eyes when Renjun was busy comparing brands of dog treats. It was like her eyes were calling me, asking me to take her home!”

The calico cat is a baby; Mark said it’s not even five months old yet. It’s the last from seven siblings, the last one to be adopted (and you think Mark is only telling you this to convince you this is a good idea. She jumps out from Mark’s lap and goes to you, staring at you first before settling herself on your lap.

“She loves you already!” Mark comments.

You sigh. “Mark. You know we can’t take her home, right? We’re leaving in like, five months.”

“Which means I have five months to convince our friends to adopt her while I’m in Canada!” he answers enthusiastically, his eyes almost sparkling with the way he’s talking. “I couldn’t just leave her there. My heart wouldn’t allow me to leave without her!”

“Fine,” you give up. “Don’t cry on me on the plane back home when we leave her.”

Mark chuckles. “I think I should be more worried about you crying on the plane back home.”

Someone knocks on your door before you can ask what he means by that. It’s Mark who stands and welcome the person, and of course, it’s Donghyuck.

It’s Saturday. Saturday means Donghyuck comes and hangs out at your place because he no longer has to work in the university library on the weekends. He’d quit, saying his big mouth isn’t fit for the library, and had asked the school administration to reassign him to another facility. Part of his scholarship is to work at least 16 hours a week in one of the university’s facilities. He’s paid, of course, but Donghyuck says he’s not paid enough to keep his mouth shut for 16 hours a week. The admin asked for a week to figure out where he’d be assigned next, so he had this entire weekend all to himself, which, to how it looks like now, he’d decided to spend with you and Mark.

Mark lets Donghyuck in. The latter’s smile falters when he sees you; he only gives you a curt nod. And it’s not like you’re expecting Donghyuck to cuddle you on the couch, alright? It’s just that, you’ve known each other for a month now, and have hung out together a handful of times—just the two of you—and he called you yesterday telling you he’d come hangout with you and Mark for the weekend, even said something about teaching you to play Apex if you have the energy for it. And it’s not like he’s obligated to come sit beside you as soon as he enters your apartment, but you’re confused when he sits on the single couch far away from you, stance uncomfortable and his face looking like he’d rather be elsewhere.

Mark’s voice fades away when he asks Donghyuck what their plans are, to which Donghyuck answers: “I’m actually just here to say hi. I’m leaving in a bit.”

“No way,” Mark protests.

“Or we could go out?” Donghyuck offers.

“Uh-uh,” Mark refuses. “Y/N has been excited all morning to see you. You’re not going to disappoint her today.”

“I didn’t say anything—” You try to say, but couldn’t translate what you want to say quick enough. “Donghyuck obviously doesn’t want to be here.”

Over the course of a month living in Seoul, you and Donghyuck had grown closer more than anyone. It would be ridiculous to deny Donghyuck’s seemingly unceasing affection towards you, and in the same manner, it would be a lie if you’d say you’re not enjoying all the attention he’s been giving you. Above the flirty and friendly advances he makes (but never crossing the line), Donghyuck has grown to be a good friend. During the first couple of weeks, you would refer to him as Mark’s friend; it’s safe you say you’re friends with him now.

Donghyuck’s decided to pick you up from the college of Social Sciences, convincing Mark that his building is literally next to yours and that a ten-minute walk to Arcade with you is not going to hurt him—Mark’s been walking with you for many years anyway, he would mumble under his breath, close enough for you to hear but distant enough for you to understand what he truly means. Hence, with the growing friendship you have with him, you wonder what you had done this time.

“It’s not like that,” Donghyuck answers the question you had in mind, both hands raised in defense. You raise an eyebrow. “That.”

Donghyuck points at your lap, Mark’s unnamed cat sleeping soundly now. Oh.

“I’m allergic,” he explains. “I can’t be around one within like a five-meter radius otherwise, I would, like, you know, die.”

“You’re exaggerating,” Mark comments. “Are you really?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck confirms. “The allergens are getting to me. My throat is starting to close up. I have to leave now.”

This startles you and Mark, the latter quickly taking the calico cat from your lap and quickly taking it to his room. You reckon the cat’s allergens are all over you so you sit as far away as you can from Donghyuck.

“It’s fine,” he assures, but he already looks like he’s choking. “It’s not that serious. They usually just give me allergic rashes and kind of triggers my asthma. So, we’re good.”

“But you have a dog!” you remark. “You never told me you’re allergic to cats!”

He chuckles, “Well, you learn something every day.”

“There are some anti-histamine tablets from the cupboard,” you point out, still seated where you are. “I probably have allergens on my hands; please go get yourself one.”

Donghyuck does what he’s told, taking one and opening the fridge to get himself a bottle of water. You tell him you’re changing your clothes and ask him to wait up, offering to go out and have a meal with him instead.

Mark knocks on your door a couple of minutes later, finding you dressed up, a knowing smile playing on his lips. “Donghyuck said he’d wait outside. You look nice.”

“I know I look nice,” you say as you go back to your vanity to throw whatever you’d need for the day in your small dumpling bag, including a box of Benadryl. “You’re not coming with us because you have cat all over you.”

Mark chuckles, leaning against the doorframe. “Donghyuck literally told me the same thing. He’s growing on you,”

You only hum in response, checking your bag for the last time before walking towards the door where Mark Lee is still leaning on, the same smirk playing on his lips still plastered.

“What?” you ask.

Mark doesn’t say anything, but he raises and shows you his right hand, sticking three fingers up.

먹었습니다 (meog-eossseubnida) - The meal was good.

Seoul National University’s library is as quiet as it can be; it’s almost scary how the only sounds you’d only hear are the faint sounds of pages being flipped and pens gliding on notepads, and the eerie echoes of the tension coming from students who are either cramming on an assignment or jumping from one subject to another in hopes of getting everything they read retained in their head.

Donghyuck used to tell you this is the exact reason why he didn’t like working at the library. It’s too quiet but too loud at the same time. You chuckle at the memory of him telling you anecdotes of his short-lived employment in the library and wonder how different it is being the soccer team’s laundry guy. He’s probably pouting all the way from the beginning of his shift until the end.

“Here,” Jung Sungchan disrupts your thoughts, keeping his voice as quiet as possible. “I found these, maybe it could help bridge the gap we’re struggling on.”

You and Sungchan are paired up for a two-week long assignment for one of your major subjects. The objective was to present a summarized and substantial report on the welfare state, and you think Sungchan must have tripped on all the bad luck in his life to have been paired up with someone who couldn’t speak Korean that well, because, well, the books they had are mostly in Korean. If speaking and understanding Korean is a struggle for you, reading the damn language is hell.

“This is a good thing,” Sungchan assures. “There are resources online that are mostly in English. We can combine everything we find and construct the report from there!”

You nod and hand over the book you’re reading before he arrived, explaining that you found a chapter that could be very helpful. The boy fires up his laptop and starts accessing the website your professor had recommended you to use.

Sat side by side, you and Sungchan study in silence, except for when he asks you to read an article for him and explain what it means. The session lasts for hours, thank God you and him didn’t have classes for the rest of the day, and within those hours of studying with Sungchan, you can’t help but notice the looks you were getting anytime someone passes by the two of you.

It’s no secret that Jung Sungchan is probably one of the most attractive men in the university. He’s tall and has skin that’s as clear as a day in summer, smile that could swoon a lot of people off their feet, broad shoulders that’s probably carrying the entire hockey team for this year’s season—and yes, it doesn’t help the fact that Jung Sungchan is the most popular jock at the moment, apparently for hard carrying the team to win last year’s trophy, ending Seoul National University’s 10-year drought and awakening the school’s love for sports back. And you think it’s quite unfair that people like him exist. Because you would expect that he’s an asshole who doesn’t care about his grades because he’s essentially SNU’s hero at the moment, but he’s not. Jung Sungchan, you learn, takes his degree in Social Sciences very seriously.

And it’s evident with the way his eyebrows are furrowed as he reads the tenth book he found from the shelves.

“I think this part makes more sense now,” he points out, leaning closer so he could show you the article he’s reading. “In residual regimes, welfare-seeking units are primarily family and market. On the other hand, in the institutional welfare regime, the function of providing welfare belongs directly to the state.”

“But countries with different social conditions and lifestyles should have differed in terms of welfare states,” you argue. “We have to consider that the development of industrialization and production growth could be very different from one country to another.”

Sungchan hums. “Good point. Perhaps we can find more of that from Wilensky and Lebaux’s work. Do you have the book over there?”

You nod and hand him the book. Just as Sungchan flips the book open, Mark occupies the seat across you.

“We’ve been calling you,” Mark whispers to you, then turning to look at Sungchan. “Hey, man. Mark. Y/N’s best friend.”

Sungchan gives him a polite nod before going back to the book. You raise an eyebrow at Mark and slip your phone from the pocket of your backpack and find all the missed calls from him, Renjun, and Donghyuck.

“My phone’s been on silent for like, I don’t know, four hours,” you tell him, slipping your phone back to your back. “And I texted you I’d be at the library.”

“Yeah, like four hours ago,” he answers. “I didn’t think you’d really stay here for four hours. Anyway—” Mark pulls out a lunch bag and slides it across the table. “Donghyuck made this for you. He figured you’d be hungry.”

It’s only then that it hit you. The last meal you had was that bagel you had for breakfast on the way to school, which you had seven or eight hours ago.

“My sweet Donghyuckie,” you coo, thankful for his thoughtfulness. “Thanks, Mark. Sungchan and I will share because we’ll be here until we finish at least the structure of the report.”

“It’s getting late though,” Mark points out.

Sungchan clears his throat. “I can drive you home.”

“Great!” Mark exclaims, which earns him multiple shushes from the other students studying. “Sorry. Great!” he says again, in a whisper this time.

Mark bids goodbye to you and offers a handshake to Sungchan, telling him he’ll see him often in the next two weeks or for as long as you and him are paired-up on your major subjects. Sungchan gives him one last assurance you’ll be home safe.

You ask Sungchan to take a break and open the lunch bag. Inside it are two bento boxes full of food, too much for one person, and you don’t take another minute to wait. Sungchan must have been hungry too, because he doesn’t refuse when you offer the other half of your meal to him.

You’re not really sure how much longer you and Sungchan stay in the library, but as soon as you’ve finalized the structure of the report and have agreed on assigned topics, he suggests that you and him go home and meet up again on Friday so you can start assembling the presentation. And as promised, Sungchan drives you home, glad when he realized your apartment is only ten minutes away from his.

It’s already ten in the evening when you reach home. Mark’s probably already sleeping, you think when you don’t see any light peaking from smallest of the small space between his door and the floor. It’s late anyway, and you don’t really have much energy to tell him about your day like you always do. In fact, you don’t even have the energy to shower anymore, and because you don’t like sleeping on your bed with your outside clothes, you opt to sleep on the couch tonight.

The last thing you do is shoot Donghyuck a text message: “The meal was good.”

삼각관계 (sam-gak-kwan-gae) – love triangle

Jung Sungchan invites you watch to one of his preliminary games the day after you completed the report with him. Mark teasingly tells you that you have boys wrapped around your finger not even two months living in Seoul. You deny the claims, of course, because Sungchan is nothing but a good friend and you don’t see him as anything more.

Donghyuck is the first person you think of when Sungchan gives you two spare tickets for the game, and you like to think that it’s only because you don’t want Mark teasing you and accusing you of romance all afternoon, and also because Donghyuck has a car and Mark is a shit navigator so you can’t trust him to commute with you from the university to the indoor arena where the game is being held.

SNU’s team wins, of course, and you proudly cheer for Sungchan, which earns you a side eye from Donghyuck. You shrug it off and pretend that you didn’t see.

“Can we go now?” Donghyuck asks, bored, when people start leaving the arena.

You shake your head. “Sungchan asked me to wait for him after the game.”

“You know that barbecue place I told you we’d go to?” Donghyuck reminds. “We can go there—“

Your phone rings. It’s Sungchan. Donghyuck sighs.

“Congratulations, nerd!” is the first thing you tell him. Sungchan thanks you, laughing from the other end of the call, and apologizes that he can no longer meet you because the team’s been hogging him the second they won the round.

“It’s fine,” you assure. “I’m with Donghyuck, anyway. I’ll see you at school?”

“No, no,” Sungchan answers. “There’s a small celebration party at Shotaro’s house. It’s a twenty to thirty-minute drive from your apartment. I’ll send you the location. Go there.”

Sungchan hangs up, and not even a second later, you receive a text from him, a location pinned on the message. You show the message and pout at Donghyuck, and he’s looking at you all bored, rolling his eyes, before nodding and taking your hand so you and him could leave the arena.

The drive to the place takes about an hour from the arena, and you spend it singing along to Michael Jackson’s songs.

“You have a really nice voice,” you comment. Donghyuck laughs.

“Baby,” he says. “I wouldn’t be pursuing a career in music if I had a shitty voice.”

The nickname gives you a flush, and you could only hope Donghyuck wouldn’t notice.

Almost two months into meeting Lee Donghyuck, you find yourself unable to keep your heartbeat down whenever he does things like this—calling you nicknames, randomly showing up in places where you are just to say hi, holding your hand, texting and calling you every day, spending his weekends and times off with you, and doing simple and domestic things for you—and your heart tells you it’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with a whirlwind romance in Seoul. Donghyuck doesn’t ever hesitate, and the fact that you’re holding back means you really like him. But the rational part of you says it’s not really a good idea to be in a situationship with someone who will most likely forget you as soon as you go back to Canada, and you can’t afford a heartache from miles away. Besides, Donghyuck probably isn’t that serious with whatever that’s going on.

Rumors say (by rumors, you mean Chenle and Jisung) that Donghyuck is the type of guy who dates one girl after another. Because he’s bold and charming and amiable and likes to expand his choices, and he finds that there’s nothing wrong with dating as long as he doesn’t date multiple women at the same time. You haven’t really seen him out on a date since you had met him. Rumor (Chenle) says that he’s been single since fall of last year and had committed to stay single this year because of the messy breakup and also because he’s on his last year of college, he’d need to focus on stepping up his game if he wants entertainment companies to fight over him as soon as he starts looking for agencies after graduation. Another rumor (Jisung) says he’s rejected many women who have tried to sleep with him since news broke that Lee Donghyuck is newly single. The rumor says he’s as popular as Jung Sungchan when it comes to women, which, if you’re being honest, gives you some kind of pedestal to walk hand-in-hand with him in the university grounds. You realize now that you get the same look from women when you’re with Donghyuck like the stares you got whenever you and Sungchan are stuck in the library for hours of studying.

The only difference is that, well, you like that people stare at you with a hint of jealousy whenever you’re with Donghyuck.

“Why haven’t you invited me to your gigs?” you ask before you could even think about it. “Sungchan’s only been friends with me for like three weeks and he already got me tickets to his game. You, on the other hand…”

The car halts to a slow stop, Donghyuck’s phone telling you that you’ve arrived at your location. Donghyuck doesn’t switch off the engine though. He chuckles licking his lips, then poking his tongue on his cheeks, fucking with your heart and hormones in the process. He keeps his hand on the steering wheel and turns to look at you, eyes hazed in attraction like he’s pulling you in.

“Baby,” he says in a whisper almost. “I don’t like love triangles.”

“Love… triangles?” you repeat.

“Love triangles,” he says in English. “I fucking hate it. And we’re not about to go through that trope in our love story here. So, let me make it clear before we go inside and before you even think about sticking to Sungchan all night.”

You gulp.

“There’s no Sungchan in the equation,” he states like a command and you find yourself nodding, agreeing. “It’s only you and me. Tonight, there will be a lot of people and none of them will be in the equation. Tonight, you’re sticking with me and we’ll talk about this tomorrow. Have fun with me and see if you want to take this to another level, because if you ask me, I’ve been dying to fucking kiss you since the semester began.”

This territory is new, and this Donghyuck is new, too. He’s always been affectionate and he’s never held back, but this new level of honesty is astonishing. Damn attractive if you’re being honest.

“Come here,” he says, ridding himself from his seatbelt. You do the same, leaning closer to him. Donghyuck holds your cheeks with both hands, smiling down at you before leaning in to kiss your forehead. “I’m not giving you mixed signals. This is me giving you a clear, direct sign that I like you and I like what we have, but I’d love to take another step. I’ve been thinking about it, and I don’t really want someone to enter the equation while I’m trying to woo you.”

You giggle. “You already successfully wooed the romance out of me the second you started holding my hand, Lee Donghyuck. And no, there won’t be love triangles.”

Donghyuck’s honesty fires up some courage in you, and you like the feeling of watching him falter when you lean in, hand on the back of his neck, and kiss him for the first time. The man melts in your kiss and in your touch, but doesn’t wait for another heartbeat to kiss you back. And despite of the bottled-up and eagerness from both sides, the first kiss is soft the first time, featherlike and sweet. His lips are even softer than they look and his lips already look plump as it is, and when Donghyuck licks your lips and invites himself in, God, he makes sure you taste the sweetness from his mouth and in a minute you’re addicted and you kiss and kiss and kiss, lips locking, tongue gliding, breaths gasping.

It’s him who pulls away, leaving you with dazed eyes wanting, wanting, wanting more.

Donghyuck gives you one last kiss on the forehead. “Let’s go.”

이렇게? (ireoke) – Like this?

You don’t end up seeing Sungchan at all in the party, and you don’t mind because Donghyuck keeps you glued to his side. The party is fun, but you and Donghyuck decide not to drink a single drop of alcohol. To him, it’s because he has to drive. To you, it’s because you want to be entirely sober to remember whatever happens tonight.

Donghyuck makes out with you in the corner of the living room where people are crumpled, and you like that he doesn’t care that people see. He holds you by the waist and on your neck, and you get it now. You get why women are lining up to sleep with Donghyuck, because if he can kiss like this, what else can he do with his mouth?

You shoot a message to Sungchan with a selfie of you and Donghyuck, thanking him for inviting you to the party and telling him you’ll see him on your next class together (Donghyucks suggests you send Sungchan a picture of you and him making out.) and prompt to leave. Donghyuck says goodbye to a few people he knew, holding you by the waist all the way from the house to where his car is parked.

Donghyuck drives you to his apartment and tells you he’s told Mark you’d be sleeping at his place tonight. The drive itself was intense enough and Donghyuck’s doing an amazing job keeping his cool while you’re practically sweating from the passenger’s seat.

You don’t even get a good look at his apartment when you arrive, because Donghyuck’s already kissing you as he rids himself of his jacket. Donghyuck doesn’t kiss you softly this time; he kisses you like he’s leaving a mark on your mouth, almost like he wants to bruise his presence inside you. He helps you get slip out of your jacket, pulling away quickly to kick his shoes off, before carrying you bridal style and bringing you to his room, kicking the door behind.

Despite the roughness of his kisses, he puts you to bed gently, ridding himself of his shirt and kneeling on the floor so he could help you out of your socks. He leans up once he’s done, one hand on your jaw to pull you down for another kiss, the other caressing your thigh.

“Please tell me this is okay,” he whispers. You nod. “I need your words, baby.”

“Yes, Donghyuck,” you answer, breathless when he starts kissing your neck. “This is okay. Please touch me.”

Donghyuck pushes you a little so half of your body is lying on his bed, your feet flat on his carpeted floor, tugging the loops of your jeans, urging you to lift your hips so he can rid you out of the material. He pulls you back up to take your shirt off from your torso, then he’s helping you back up from the edge of the bed towards the headboard as he crawls on top of you.

“Donghyuck,” you gasp when he goes back to kissing you. You realize that Donghyuck like kissing with the way he’s using his mouth to imprint his presence in you, his tongue licking everywhere it can reach inside your mouth, and he tastes like mint and the soda he had at the party, and he’s everything that you want. “Touch me, please.”

“Like this?” Donghyuck reaches down to rub your clit through the material of your underwear. He rubs slow, teasingly, and kisses you on the mouth when you groan. He dips his head lower and kisses your neck; he bites and nips and sucks and you’re sure it’s leaving a mark you’d have to conceal the next day. “Want me to touch you like this, baby?”

A moan elicits from your throat, and Donghyuck doesn’t waste any more time. He slips his warm hand between your skin and your underwear, really touching you, rubbing your clit gently, his digits dragging itself on your slit slowly, gathering your wetness then going back to rub your clit again, more roughly with the pool of wetness his fingers have now.

“Like this?” he asks again, pushing a finger inside when he finds your hole, urging another moan from your lips.

“Oh my God, Donghyuck,” you gasp when he fingers you gently, your wetness making a sound when he adds another finger. Donghyuck takes his time, biting his lips as he watches you writhe underneath his touch.

“Pull your bra down,” he breathes out, and you do. When your breasts are out on the open, Donghyuck doesn’t waste time and locks lips with your nipple, sucking and licking as he fingers the sanity out of you. He alternates from fingering you with two digits and rubbing you using his thumb, and you’re all putty and messy under him, and you want more, more, more, more.

“Baby, please fuck me,” you beg. “Please, Donghyuck. Please fuck me”

Donghyuck hushes you. “I will, baby. I’ll fuck you so well, you’ll come running back to me tomorrow and the day after, and the day after.”

But he doesn’t. He pulls his fingers out, hold you by your jaw so you could lock eyes while he licks the proof of your attraction to him from his fingers, sucking and showing you just how well he could use his tongue. He doesn’t fuck you get but he rids you of the last garments from your body and does the fucking impossible.

Donghyuck eats you out like it’s the last meal he’ll ever have. He swirls his tongue on your clit as he pushes his digits back in your hole, fingering you like it’s all he’s ever wanted, and he’s got you chanting his name like a prayer when his tongue laps your sex, even more when he replaces his fingers with his tongue. You’re writhing and screaming and Donghyuck’s holding your legs apart while he pleasures you with his mouth and hands.

You don’t want to cum yet, but Donghyuck’s so, so good, and it looks like he’s not stopping anytime soon. He tongues you back to your clit and fingers you with three digits, fast and rough.

“Donghyuck, I’m going to—” You see white and stars and you stay still when Donghyuck continues fingering you, moving all three fingers in an upward motion, reaching where you want him the most, mouth sucking your clit as you ride the first orgasm you’ve had in months.

Donghyuck lets you have your moment when it’s done, taking the time to lick the slick wetness from his fingers down to his wrist, kneeling between your legs. You push yourself up so that you’re sitting with your legs wide open, your palms flat on his sheets, head tilted for a kiss. Donghyuck leans over and kisses you again, and you never thought you’d like tasting yourself in his tongue. You guess everything tastes sweeter when it’s in Donghyuck’s mouth.

“Off, please,” you murmur, pulling the loops from his jeans. Donghyuck obeys, removing all pieces of clothing until he’s naked.

You marvel at his beauty, licking your lips when you finally see him bare and clean. His golden skin looks like honey and you want to kiss the fuck out of his collarbones and leave your mark for everyone to see. Your eyes travel from his chest down to the trail from his tummy down to his erect cock. He’s hard and red and you salivate from how big he looks and feel yourself getting even more wet at the thought of him fucking you. Before you know it, you’re reaching out, moving so you could kneel, and taking his hardness in your hand. Donghyuck moans for the first time tonight, and you plan to elicit that sound from him all night.

Stroking him slowly, you feel a rush of satisfaction when Donghyuck pants your name. “Oh my God,” he moans when you bend over, a palm flat on his sheets, your other hand stroking him as you take him to your mouth. He gathers your hair and watches you from above, and you purposely stick your ass up higher when you feel him twitch as you take more of his cock into your mouth. When you’re about halfway, you stroke the rest of what you can’t take and start sucking and licking, and Donghyuck makes the absolute best sound ever. You like his voice when he sings, but you don’t think anything could compare with how he’s whining your name as you suck his dick thoroughly, licking and jerking off whatever your mouth couldn’t fit. A part of you wants to ask Donghyuck to fuck your mouth, bruise your throat with his dick and cum straight down your fucking stomach if he wants to, but that could be arranged next time. This time, with his dick hard and wet from your mouth, you want him to fuck you.

You suck him one last time before you pull away, a string of your saliva following when you look up at Donghyuck. “Now, will you fuck me?”

Donghyuck looks fucked out, eyes dazed with lust, and you want nothing more than for him to ruin you. And Donghyuck doesn’t need to be asked twice.

He crawls back up until you’re lying on your back, legs wide open for him, and kneels between your legs. “Ready and sure?” he asks for the last time, stroking himself.

“Pull out when you cum,” is all you say and Donghyuck goes for it. He gives you a kiss and rests one of his forearms beside your arm, massaging the head of his cock on your opening until he’s stretching you out.

“Fuck,” Donghyuck groans when he feels your tightness. “God damn, Y/N, when was the last time you got fucked?”

“I—I can’t remember,” you say. “None of them were worth remembering.”

“And me?” Donghyuck asks as he pushes deeper until he’s fully stretched you and his pelvis is leaning against your clit. “Will you remember me?”

“Ask me next time,” you breathe out. “I think you’ll have to fuck me every day so I can remember.”

Donghyuck gives you some time, kissing you softly. “When was the last time you fucked anyone?” you ask in return.

“I can’t remember,” he parrots. “None of them were worth remembering. All I know is that this is the first time I’m feeling someone raw.” Then he bottoms out, gives you only half a second before he’s thrusting back and out and back and out and back and out, slowly but surely fucking you well.

Donghyuck fucks you like he means it. His hips snap roughly but makes sure you feel all of him before he thrusts out and he’s everywhere. His tongue is in your mouth, then on your neck, his free hand is caressing one of your breasts, playing with your nipples, and he’s making you feel so, so good and you’re not sure how you go back from here. You’re not sure how you could go on with life knowing how well Donghyuck can fuck you. He’s got you squirming and reaching your second orgasm only minutes into fucking the life out of you.

When you’re close, Donghyuck pushes himself up so that he’s kneeling again, and lifts both your legs, resting your calves on either side of his shoulders, hugging your legs so he can fuck you deeper in this angle. The precision makes you chant his name over and over again and he takes one of his hands down to rub your clit. You try your best to hold back from cumming because the way he’s fucking you now feels so damn good that you want it to last for a long time. He thrusts in and out quickly, his balls hitting the bottom of your ass again and again.

“Come for me, baby,” he says. “Let go.”

So, you do, and Donghyuck keeps on fucking you through it. Donghyuck lets you finish, before he’s pushing the back of your knees down so your thighs are pressed up against your stomach, chasing his own orgasm, and fucks you hard, without rhythm, until he is moaning your name like praise and he’s pulling out so he could release on your stomach. You reach up to caress his cheek as you watch him in awe as he finishes, his face contorted in pleasure, lips wet and eyes closed.

When it’s done, Donghyuck kisses you on the forehead and helps you clean up. He leaves to go to the bathroom for a minute to grab a warm, wet towel, cleaning your stomach, and carries you back to the bathroom with him. The shower is warm, and Donghyuck is gentle and sweet when he cleans you up, giving you kisses when he pats you dry once he’s gotten rid of the shampoo and body wash from your hair and skin. Donghyuck tells you there’s a spare toothbrush on behind the mirror and washes himself as you brush your teeth, naked but warm.

Donghyuck tells you to that the right side of his closet is where you can find the clothes he uses at home and you follow as he finishes cleaning himself up. You take the liberty to take one of his shirts that are still too big for you despite Donghyuck’s frame and slip a pair of cotton shorts.

Donghyuck finds you half-asleep when he’s done showering; he sleeps shirtless, you reckon, because he crawls to bed only in sweatpants. He cuddles you from behind, kissing the clothed shoulder, and the last thing you hear before you drift off to sleep is him humming a song your mind can’t recognize and a promise that you’ll talk about this the next day.

You wake up to the smell of Spam, an empty space beside yours, and the sound of Donghyuck singing a song from BOL4, which you learned is one of his favorite musicians.

Donghyuck smiles warmly at you when you find him in the kitchen, just about to finish pan-frying the last piece of sliced luncheon meat. He’s still shirtless, but is wearing a cute pink apron, and he gives you a quick kiss on the lips like it’s the most natural thing ever. The second his lips pull away from yours, you reach up and touch where he kissed, lips tingling—in disbelief that what happened last night is real.

“Good morning,” he hums. “Just in time for breakfast.”

“Donghyuck,” you trail off. “Can we talk first?”

Donghyuck nods, offering that you sit on the high stool across the small kitchen island. He sits next to you, turning the seat so that you’re face to face, knees touching. “What do we want to do?” he asks.

“You know I’m leaving in like, four months, right?” you start.

Donghyuck whistles. “We just started and you’re already breaking up with me?”

“No, no,” you say, exhaling. “This… this. I like. You. I like.”

“Baby, construct your sentences properly,” he laughs.

“I like you,” you confess. “And I like this. I like holding your hands. And kissing you. And what we did last night. I’m just worried because—”

“Because you’re leaving,” he finishes for you. “I know, but I also like you a lot. More than you probably think. And I don’t want to miss my chance getting to know you more just because you’re leaving in a few months. I don’t know what you want, but here’s what I want, you let me know if it works for you, if not, then I’ll still be a friend. Who might cry for two weeks straight if you reject me.”

You laugh but urge him to continue.

“I want to date you, and get to know you even more. Your quirks, the things that make you angry, your comfort food, the movies that give you the ick,” he continues. “Your family, how you were raised, if you like Marvel or DC more, what Hogwarts house you belong to, if you like pineapple in pizza or not, whether you pour milk or cereal first, if you ever kissed Mark Lee, if Mark Lee’s ever had a crush on you.”

“What does Mark have—”

“Shh,” he stops. “It’s my turn. Talk later. Anyway, I want this—” he gestures the space between you and him. “And I want you. I want to keep teaching you the language and I know what’s ahead of us is scary, and there’s only two things that could happen: this is going to be either the biggest heartbreak of my life or you’re going to be the greatest love of my life. It’s a fifty-fifty chance, Y/N. Let’s just say I’m willing to risk whatever if it means I have 50% the chances of having you as the greatest love of my life.”

Oh. You don’t realize you’re staring quietly until Donghyuck holds your hand.

“Now tell me,” he asks slowly. “What do you want?”

You don’t hesitate. “I want you, Lee Donghyuck.”

일어날 수 있는 최악의 상황은 무엇입니까? il-eonal su issneun choeag-ui sanghwang-eun mueos-ibnikka? What’s the worst that could happen?

It doesn’t come out as a surprise to anyone when you and Donghyuck arrive at Arcade holding hands, a shy smile playing on your lips, a proud one in Donghyuck’s. You were thankful that there were no teasing remarks coming from your friends—that they were taking this so well, like it’s normal. Like it’s meant to happen anyway. There’s a knowing smirk on Mark’s stupid face, but you love him and you can’t wait to tell him all about how you feel towards Donghyuck. “Okay, so my birthday falls on a weekend,” Jeno announces. “And I think it’s the best time to go to the amusement park. Will you have work then, Renjun-ah?”

“Most likely,” Renjun answers, mouth full of food as he chews on a bite of pizza. “But I can have Yerim cover for me. I’ll just return the favor if she needs me one day.”

“Sweet!” Jeno exclaims. “So, it’s decided then. We’ll go to the amusement park on my birthday.”

As you and Donghyuck play footsie under the table, Mark stands, turning to you. “I’m going to get another milkshake. Come with me?”

You nod, kicking Donghyuck one last time and standing to follow your best friend. Somehow, you feel bad for not saying anything about your growing feelings for Donghyuck, considering that Mark is your best friend in the entire universe and you’re his. If it were him, he would’ve told you the second he caught feelings to anyone. But Mark knows you’re not the kind to admit feelings like this as soon as it starts inflating in your chest; he knows you’re the type to hold it in until you can’t anymore. Having had terrible relationships in the past, Mark has always known that you’re the kind to be careful.

“I didn’t think you’d actually go for it,” Mark says as soon as you and him are out of earshot. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy for you. I just didn’t expect this to happen so quickly.”

“Me neither,” you mumble under your breath. “Sorry for not saying anything.”

Mark chuckles. “You didn’t have to. I mean, we all kinda always known this would happen. I just couldn’t imagine how you and Donghyuck sealed it so quickly, like considering how shy and quiet you always were whenever he was around.”

“I was shy and quiet with everyone around,” you remark. “Donghyuck taught me all these slangs and now I can’t stop talking.”

The woman in the counter asks you what she can help you with when you reach her. Mark tells his order alongside some sides Renjun had asked him to get. He leans on the counter, turning back to you. “Anyway.”

“Yeah?”

“I think you’re serious serious.” Mark clears his throat. “Like, I’ve known you for so long and you’ve always been hesitant to do shit. I’ve always been the spontaneous and reckless one between us, and you’re the careful one. The one who thinks everything through before deciding on it—this trip to Seoul included on the long list.”

“Your point is?” you ask, even though you know exactly where this is going.

Mark licks his lips before continuing: “What I’m saying is, you’ve never been this certain so quickly.”

That’s right. Not to be cliché or whatever, but this is normally how it goes for you. Relationships used to be difficult for you—from the pining to the confession to its climax to its end, until the bargaining and acceptance—and you’d never been the type to go through things so quickly and easily. With Donghyuck, you’d somehow done it backwards (and Mark doesn’t need to know that you slept with Donghyuck before you even sealed the damn relationship) but for some reason, you had forgotten how you’re supposed to act around people you like romantically. It scares the shit out of you, the connection between you and Donghyuck, but you’ve always been a firm believer that if it doesn’t scare you, it probably isn’t something worth doing. It feels like jumping from a cliff, to the bottom of the unknown, and it’s new, but it makes your heart pound like never before.

“I don’t want to get ahead and say something that’d make you change your mind somehow, because I also like you and Donghyuck together,” he explains when you only stare at him. “But, as your best friend, with the best intentions only, please don’t go breaking your heart before we leave, yeah?”

You nod, understanding and appreciating Mark’s sentiment. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Mark shrugs. “We won’t really know. Take care, yeah?”

You smile stepping closer to hug Mark. “I love you, you know that, right?” he asks. You nod, your face buried on his chest. “Good. I’ll beat Donghyuck’s ass if he hurts you in anyway.”

“I sure hope you do,” you reply, just in time for the staff to call Mark’s attention, the tray of his order ready for him.

Donghyuck is pouting when you return, asking why you and Mark took too long because the seat beside him is all cold now. You kiss him on the cheek and tell him Mark just told you he’s beating his ass if you’re hurt in anyway.

“Mark can’t hurt a fly,” Donghyuck remarks. “What makes you think he can hurt me, huh?”

Mark scoffs. “You’ll be the first.”

계절과 계절 사이 (gyejeolgwa gyejeol sai) – between seasons

When the seasons start to change—from the rainy, cold spring transition to a warm, sunny summer—you and Donghyuck change, too.

From the euphoric blooming of your relationship—the playful dates, the passionate moments in his bedroom (because ever since Mark adopted that cat, Donghyuck could never stay at your place for longer than an hour), the heart-warming feeling of seeing him waiting for your after your class—to the warm, comfortable attachment stage, you feel like you know Donghyuck in a deeper sense now.

The small notebook he’d given you at the beginning of the term is halfway full, its pages messily scribbled with phrase and sentences you had learned—likewise the memories those words carry—and soon enough you find yourself more comfortable with the language, and eventually with Seoul. You find yourself enjoying, and not in a way that makes you think you’d want to visit again soon.

The journey with Seoul was initially a play to learn the language and its beautiful culture: a detour. A diversion from your plans. A stop while you figure out what you want in life. Your last year in university is supposed to be the year you finally decide what to do next. Visiting Seoul was an opportunity for you to really get to know yourself beyond your comfort zone, to really challenge your capabilities, to learn beyond what your hometown had in store for you.

But these days do not feel like Seoul is a place to visit.

In a way, liberating albeit frightening, you find yourself thinking that perhaps Seoul is a place to build a home in. The home is built from arms that hold you on days when it’s extra cold, your nose red and hands frozen, and its shelter is made from Donghyuck’s warm smile and the assurance of him being there for you. And right now, while you sit closely together at the back of your friend’s car, their obnoxiously loud voices singing to some pop song along the radio, you feel it: home.

Jeno likes the phone case you had customized for him, and he gives you a big, bear hug as soon as he take a peek of what’s inside your present.

“I love you. I literally love you with all my being,” he dramatically says as he squishes you.

“That’s my girlfriend, you idiot,” Donghyuck complains, pulling Jeno’s arms away from you. With the way you three are seated at the back of Renjun’s car, you sitting in between them, it’s uncomfortable and Donghyuck insists on taking part of the little moment you’re having with Jeno.

Jeno whines, “Let me love her. This is the best gift ever!”

Donghyuck ends up puffing air out of his mouth, pouting and leaning back so Jeno could hug you. You’re laughing and Jeno whispers how easily they could make him sulk these days because you’re around.

Mark, who’s sitting on the passenger seat beside Renjun, announces you’ve arrived at the amusement park, just as Jaemin’s car halts to a slow stop behind you.

It’s the first time you’ve ever visited the famous amusement park in Seoul, and Mark looks excited with the way he’s jumping as you line up for the tickets. Donghyuck has his arm around you, taking pictures with his other hand. The rest are chattering, talking about the rides they’d love to try.

The secretly group decides to stick together for the entire day to celebrate Jeno’s day, despite the birthday boy himself telling everyone they can go wherever they want to. You could see how much they really care about one another and they all just hide it in their mean, vile jokes. For example, the man who has his arm wrapped around you likes teasing Jeno like it’s his full-time job, but is hiding a birthday present inside the trunk of Renjun’s car (and would most likely give it before you all head home, act like his best friend’s birthday isn’t that much of a big deal).

Most of the day is spent following Jeno around, whatever ride he wanted to try and your ears ringing because of how loud Donghyuck is screaming. The temperature has gone from freezing cold to warm, the humidity making it a little harder for everybody to move around under the warmth of the sun.

“I never realized how much of a scaredy cat you are, Donghyuckie,” you tease as soon as you walk out of the roller coaster ride. “Not much of a tough guy now, huh?”

Donghyuck whines, “I liked you better when the words you spoke were only yes and no.”

Mark laughs, slapping Donghyuck on the back. “Oh man, that was really good.”

“Yeah?” You rebut. “And I liked you better when you weren’t screaming like a kid.”

Donghyuck smirks, “And I like you better when you’re screaming my name.”

Renjun and Jisung cough in disgust, and Mark just straight up slapped the back of Donghyuck’s head. “You two are disgusting. I can’t believe I live with you, Y/N.”

Donghyuck laughs, turning to you. “It’s pretty hot. Want me to go grab you a can of soda? Ice cold water?”

“Water, please,” you say. Donghyuck nods and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling Chenle with him and walking to the opposite side where a small shop is. In the meantime, the rest of you occupy the benches under a shade, Jeno asking which ride to go next.

Donghyuck and Chenle return in a matter of time, bottles of drinks in their hands. They give everyone their preferred drinks, Donghyuck sitting beside Mark and extending an arm so he could hand you your drink from his side.

“Fucking summer,” Donghyuck curses. “I hate summer.”

Renjun raises an eyebrow. “Suddenly?”

“It’s not even summer yet,” Jaemin points out. “What happened to you? You’ve always been so excited about summer.”

“It’s so hot. I can’t stand this fucking temperature,” Donghyuck mumbles.

Renjun scoffs. “You start planning our summer getaway as early as March.”

“It’s already April and you have nothing yet,” Jisung points out.

“Yeah, what the hell, man. I hate your ridiculous ideas, but we can’t survive summer without you,” Jeno adds, then looks at Mark. “Yo, Mark, what about you? What are you doing this summer?”

You and Mark freeze, looking at each other for a second, before the latter speaks for you both: “We’re, uh, we’re supposed to go home.”

It seems like Jeno didn’t know the weight of his question because he apologizes as soon as he realizes it. The group falls into silence, no one says anything, or perhaps nobody could think of anything to say, not even you or Mark.

With your days in Seoul numbered, you realize now that you haven’t really talked about it—not you and Mark, not you and Donghyuck—and it never really felt real. You had always told yourself you’ll cross the bridge when you get there, and the bridge is nearby.

Donghyuck clears his throat. “The sun’s going to kill me. I think I saw a burger joint that has an air-conditioning system down the corner of that street. Shall we go there?”

Everybody agrees and stand to leave. Donghyuck holds your hand, pulling you close and steals a kiss on your cheek. The gesture makes your heart flutter. Donghyuck is warm, but not in the way the sun is hot right now—in a way that gets you thinking: can this warmth reach Vancouver?

Your skin hurts when the sunlight hits you. You hate summer.

 오해 하지마 (ohae hajima) – Don’t misunderstand

Donghyuck had a face that looked like what an artist would draw in a whim—spontaneously—like it was done in a rush, like a portrait from a park done by a street artist, something done with a pencil. Ink stains are harder to wash off, and anyway, figments aren’t mean to last—and he’s almost unrecognizable in this light.

You can’t recognize him on the night of his birthday.

His Mother had gone above and beyond and invited all of their closest relatives and family friends for his 23rd birthday, and it’s also your first time meeting them.

It’s nerve-wracking to say the least, but his Mother smiles at you kindly when she greets you from the entrance of the restaurant they rented for the evening. You could tell his family was wealthy, and it makes sense because Donghyuck got the most bare minimum job he could find, and it’s most likely because he doesn’t need to get one; he probably only got one so he could talk about work, too, just like the rest of his friends.

The birthday party is a surprise and it was Renjun who connected with everyone to make sure they attend here tonight. You had to make up some excuse to Donghyuck when he asked why you can’t join him for dinner with his family tonight and had promised to make it up to him the day after.

You’re sat in the same table as Mark, Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin, a bit far away from Donghyuck’s family’s table, as you wait for the birthday boy, your present sitting on top of the round table. Mark talks about his cat, letting Jaemin watch snippets of his pet from his phone, and Renjun is narrating a story about his “ridiculous and absurd encounter with Liu Yangyang (and you and Jeno can’t pass up the opportunity to tease him about it).

Then, someone comes sit beside Jaemin, the boys gasping when they see her.

Karina is beautiful, and even saying that isn’t enough to describe the woman’s beauty. Soft-spoken and brilliant, Karina naturally allows everyone to gravitate towards her. All, including yourself, are pulled like magnet when she arrived. Jeno introduces you and you allow yourself to throw a quick and inaudible “hello” when she reaches over and asks you how you are.

Donghyuck’s Mother almost screams when she sees Karina, excitement filling up the air as she hugs her and thanks her for attending.

“I wouldn’t miss Hyuckie’s birthday for the world, eommoni,” Karina answers, and before you could ask Renjun how she’s related to Donghyuck, Jisung, who’s seated in another table with Donghyuck’s younger siblings, announces that the birthday man himself has arrived.

Donghyuck enters the hall, surprised and happy when he sees everyone, a dramatic cry leaving his lips as everyone greets him happy birthday. He feigns complaint, whining that he’s no longer eight years old, but hugs his parents anyway.

His parents thank everyone for joining a precious day and celebrating their eldest son’s birthday with them. Donghyuck bows and starts to go around to thank people.

You don’t recognize Donghyuck when he finally reaches your table and he gives you small smile, hugging you quickly before moving on to the next person. You don’t recognize Donghyuck when he goes to Karina, lifting her as he hugs her tightly, and thanking her for being able to come. You don’t recognize Donghyuck when his Mother joins the little reunion and he laughs when his Mother jokes about them missing each other too much.

“She’s the one who left me all alone here in Seoul,” Donghyuck pouts. “We wouldn’t have missed each other this much if you had stayed!”

“Don’t be such a drama queen, Hyuckie,” Karina says, rolling her eyes. “You visited me in Tokyo literally six months ago.”

Six months ago, which means, it was right before you arrived in Seoul.

You want to be anywhere else but here, and you don’t want to listen any further, but the scenario runs like a comedy show and the punch line is you.

“You two better decide whatever the hell you want to do with your lives by the end of the year,” Donghyuck’s Mother comments. “I mean, no one’s stopping you from moving to Tokyo, Donghyuck. You and Karina can rekindle whatever light was burnt last year. I’m glad you stayed best of friends despite the long distance. You’ve always made a great couple.”

Your breath hitches like your lungs had just been punch. Donghyuck, it seems, finally remembers you’re watching this unfold. Mark holds you, and bless him because your legs feel like they’re about to give up. You and Donghyuck make eye contact, but you don’t recognize him at all.

“Eomma,” Donghyuck clears his throat. Everything else he’s said come out like a blur, and Mark is just holding you close.

“Don’t misunderstand,” Renjun whispers closely. “They’re just friends.”

You don’t recognize Donghyuck when he watches you leave.

천천히 말씀해 주세요 (chun-chun-hee mal-sseum-heh ju-seh-yo)  - Please speak slowly | 집 (jib) - home

Karina turns out to be the one that got away. The one true love. The greatest love. The childhood best friend who’s always been there. The leading woman. She turns out to be the protagonist in Donghyuck’s story.

You learn all of these from Renjun. Even when he refused to say a single word and had begged for you to talk to Donghyuck instead, you learn the truth by asking Mark to ask Renjun.

Donghyuck and Karina. Karina and Donghyuck. Two peas in a pod. A tight knit. Knowing each other like the back of their hands. A buy one, get one kind of deal. Where one is, the other would follow. And everyone and their moms know that it has always been like that, will always be like that.

Donghyuck and Karina, born on the same year, grew up in the same small village in Jeju island. Having been inseparable since, they ended up moving to Seoul together in high school. Donghyuck’s parents were supportive of Donghyuck pursuing a career in music, and they believed that moving to Seoul was the first step for their beloved son to find his spotlight. Karina’s parents, however, couldn’t afford moving alongside the Lee family despite wanting to support their daughter, too. Donghyuck begged his parents to have Karina move in with them so her parents would only worry about paying her tuition and allowances. The Lee family agreed, of course, because Donghyuck and Karina were fifteen, and they were the best team the world has ever known.

Karina is a talented dancer, and with a face like hers, it would be a shame to keep her in a small town in Jeju island. Her moving to Seoul had been the first step to her early success, because as soon as she reached puberty and had gained a butt and a pair of breasts, agencies were scouting her, creepily waiting for her outside of hers and Donghyuck’s high school. She’d declined, of course, with a promise to Donghyuck that they’d go to stardom together, but Donghyuck wanted to study and make music, and he felt as though he needed to go to college for that.

Karina eventually moved to another dormitory when she started training. Donghyuck moved downtown to start college. They were in different places, but they were still inseparable.

Pretty much every day Donghyuck would meet up with Karina when she started training; if not, then he’d be on Facetime with her during the hours when she’s not working. He had brought her to SNU many times, and they had started dating by the time Donghyuck is in his second year. All the other guys know Karina and her place in Donghyuck’s life. Somehow, a bitter part of you feels betrayed that none of them ever mentioned about Donghyuck’s great love, but you can’t really blame them for not saying anything.

They broke up on the latter months of last year because Karina had to move to Tokyo. There was no big fight apparently, just the decision that it’s most likely not going to work because—listen to this; this is the biggest punch line of this comedy show—Donghyuck can’t handle long distance.

You had answered one of Donghyuck’s calls by mistake. He’s mad for some reason, perhaps angry of the fact that you’re ignoring him and he doesn’t have much control like he normally does.

“Y/N, for fuck’s sake, why haven’t you answered?” he had cried out as soon as you answered.

“I was busy,” was all you could come up with. You brain had not been working good enough to translate things to Korean.

“What do you mean you were busy?” he had asked, voice loud and angry. “You literally disappeared on me! On my fucking birthday! And I’m done playing nice and cool because this is unfair. Whatever the fuck you’re doing is unfair you’re not letting me in. If you could just let me explain, things—”

“Please speak slowly.”

“—would be easier for the two of us. Whatever Karina and I had, it’s been over since last year. It’s over way before I met you. I never thought of her, not even for a goddamn second since we got together. I wouldn’t fucking betray you like that—”

“I can’t understand you.”

“—and I can’t believe you don’t trust me enough to let me at least tell you what happened! I never mentioned her because I never even thought about her! My Mother doesn’t know anything! I’ve wanted you to meet my Mother for a long time, but given our situation, a fucking time bomb ticking, I didn’t know if it was too early to go to that stage.”

“Time bomb?” you had asked, repeating the syllables slowly. “What’s that?”

Donghyuck sighed on the other line. “The thing that explodes at a predetermined time.”

“Oh, a time bomb,” you asked in English, chuckling. “That, we are.”

“Huh?”

“We’re a fucking time bomb,” you said, again in English, because if Donghyuck could keep talking in his mother tongue without considering if you’d understand a single word, so could you. “We’re ticking and we’re just waiting for this shit to explode. And I can’t wait and watch myself burn, Donghyuck. I can’t.”

“Please speak slowly,” he pleaded in Korean. You don’t.

“This isn’t going to work,” you responded, still in your mother tongue. “Maybe this is a clear sign for us, Donghyuck. Goodbye.”

Mark finds you crying on floor of your living, your back leaning on the feet of the couch, two weeks after Donghyuck’s birthday.

The first week, you had convinced your friends you were fine and that you just needed time. Donghyuck’s been reaching out to everybody, and Mark, being the best friend he is, lies regarding your whereabouts every time Donghyuck visits.

You don’t know how many calls Donghyuck had tried to make and how many text messages he’d left because you had completely abandoned your phone for the last couple of weeks and only relied on your computer to check any e-mails from your professors.

“I’m sorry,” Mark says, and you feel a rush of relief when he talks to you in English. You’ve had enough of Korean and Korean men these days. “It sucks, man. I don’t even know what to say. I’m so fucking disappointed with Donghyuck.”

“Shouldn’t you be more disappointed with me?” you sniffle. “I should have listened to you. We were moving too fast.”

Mark shakes his head, pulling you closer so that your head is resting on his shoulder. “I couldn’t blame you. Donghyuck’s charming, and I genuinely thought he was in love with you. I mean, I could say is, because I really think he’s sorry about everything.”

“We didn’t even get to properly break up,” you cry. “Our flight back home is in like, two weeks. I was supposed to talk to him and decide what we’d do with our relationship. For his birthday, I made a stupid mixtape that he could keep in his car and a very expensive and fucking cheesy set of touch lamps I found online for whenever he would miss me. And I keep making stupid letters like a fucking idiot so I could leave him with a bunch of poorly constructed letters just so he knows how much I’ll fucking miss him.”

Mark stays silent as you sob your heart out.

“And can you believe I actually thought it’d work?” you say, exasperated. “I’m so fucking sorry to myself. I’m just glad it’s over before I did shit I’d regret later on.””

“Shit like?” Mark asks.

You sigh, sniffling and screaming internally because the tears would stop. “I was already looking into internships here. For my last semester in college. I had already decided to decline the internship they were offering back home—thank God I haven’t sent that e-mail from my drafts—and I’ve found really good companies here. And if I’m lucky, I was thinking of moving here after college.”

Mark clicks his tongue. “All because of Donghyuck?”

“Because he feels like home, Mark,” you reason out. “He’s warm, and I can’t believe I’m admitting this now, but I love him. I love him so fucking much.”

“Oh, Y/N.”

“And we would have been happy. I would’ve done everything I could,” you confess. “And this fucking language barrier will be the death of me, but I would’ve learned more. I’d be an expert by the end of the year. And now, this whole Karina thing made me realize how much more I need to know about him.”

Mark holds you closer as though holding you would make things better. “When we were kids,” he starts. “Whenever I told you stories about how much I miss all the people I had to leave behind whenever we had to move from one country to another, one state to another, you’d always tell me to never build houses out of people.”

You remember. You always admired how Mark could move from one place to another, his suitcase and the ghost of the friendships he made following his trail, and he’s always told you about the loneliness it comes with.

“You used to tell me shelters aren’t supposed to be made of arms wrapped around you on a cold night, or hands that hold you when you’re feeling lonely,” he continues. “And I can’t blame you, because humans are known not to follow their own advice. But I hope you find home in things you’d never lose.”

You nod. “I’m sorry for breaking rule number three.”

“You’ll get over him,” he assures. “If you decide to really end things here, I mean. I’m sure you can get over him. It’s easier to get over people when you don’t see him.”

You nod, “Let’s go home, Mark.”

“Back home?”

You smile. “Yes. Back home.”

갈망 (galmang) - longing

It’s Giselle who picks you up from the airport.

You reunite like old friends, but Giselle really didn’t change that much. Even the weather didn’t change much. The same old. You wish you could say the same to yourself.

The flight to Vancouver was the most painful ten hours of your life, both literally and figuratively. It was hard watching your friends bid you goodbye, and you could tell they were dreading your departure as much as you and Mark were. Mark assures them you and him would save up to visit them again this year and as much as you’d wanted to stay, your student visa would allow you only six months. Mark promises he’d work on a tourist visa or whatever because despite being 100% ethnically Korean, but legally, he can’t just visit whenever he wants.

The pain from your breakup with Donghyuck is nothing compared to seeing Mark leave his friends again. You know how much they mean to him, and by extension, how much they mean to you regardless of what happened before your departure.

The head of student exchange program sends you warm greetings through text, followed by a series of messages from your friends and family. You’re glad Giselle had decided to pick you up from the airport, because you don’t think you’re in a good state to pretend like you’re okay, and Giselle knows.

Of course, she knows.

Giselle’s been your anchor during your last weeks in Seoul. Mark reckons that if anyone would understand you best during this time, it would be Giselle. After all, she’d gone through the same thing.

Like Mark, Giselle moved to Seoul with her parents for a few years. She had a similar experience with Mark, considering that her parents are constantly moving around—from Japan to South Korea then to Vancouver. Giselle was only in Seoul for two years before her parents moved back to Vancouver again, and in between those years she had met Kevin Moon, the love of her life.

They have been dating for almost four years now, two of those years, they dated long distance.

“How’d you make it work?” you had asked Giselle over Facetime once.

“It wasn’t perfect,” she admitted. “We broke up a couple of time because it was really difficult. And neither of us were willing to move for each other. I mean, don’t get me wrong, Kevin and I, we love each other. Truly we do. But I wouldn’t want to plant my entire life in Seoul for him. In the same manner, I don’t want him to move from Seoul to Vancouver for me when we both know for a fact that he’d be more successful in Korea than here. I guess, I don’t know, I don’t have an advice I could give you.”

“I’m not asking for advice,” you denied. “I mean. Donghyuck and I have only been dating for like, two weeks. I wouldn’t think that far at this time.”

Giselle had laughed at the other end of the line. “Let me tell you one thing, though.”

“Mhm.”

“It’s all a matter of choice,” she had said slowly, like she wanted to imprint the words to your brain. “Your heart isn’t made of diamonds. Your lungs aren’t made of steel. Somehow, inevitably, you’d grow tired—tired of timezones and how you never get the timing right, tired of not having someone to hug when you need it, tired of having to compromise—and it’s not an easy game.”

Giselle was smiling when she’d said the rest: “But Kevin is so worth it. I’ll grow tired of the baggage long distance comes with, but I don’t think I could live without him, you know? And it’s exaggerated, I know, and neither of us know what the future holds, but we’re choosing us. We chose to stay.”

It would have been beautiful, you think, if things worked out between you and Donghyuck. You would have written poems and prose in places about how you chose to stay. You would have learned about time zones and the best time to call, could have learned how to purchase the cheapest flight tickets to see each other, would have learned love and compromise together.

But you’re here, back in Vancouver, the voices of Mark and Giselle all blurred out from the backseat, and all you could think of is how much you miss Donghyuck.

예기치 않은 (yegichi anh-eun) - unexpected

The head of the student exchange program asks you to write an article about your experience in Seoul and gives you until the fall semester begins, just in time for the university’s own publishing house to produce this year’s school paper. You’re stuck at two hundred words and a stupid title Mark came up with: “Learning Languages”—and you’re thinking about withdrawing from that spot in the newspaper but Mark keeps calling you a heartbroken loser and you’re not about to let Mark Lee get the last word.

You’re eating cereal and watching an episode of Suits to prepare to write again (yes, a 30-minute preparation time is needed for such task) when someone knocks at your door.

You know how, in movies, the main character would see things in slow motion as soon as the love of their life enters the scene? That’s exactly what happens when you open the door and find Lee Donghyuck standing outside your dorm room, a too-large for his body backpack on one shoulder and his heart upon his sleeve.

미안해 (mianhae) – I’m sorry | 사랑해 (saranghae) – I love you

“I’m sorry,” are the first words that Lee Donghyuck comes up with, and truthfully are the words you needed to hear from him. He says it in his mother tongue and you feel his heart in his voice.

“Mark?” you ask, knowing full well it’s Mark who helped him.

“Yes but no,” he answers. “He said he’d only give me your address but he’s not picking me up or helping me. My flight landed literally six hours ago and I’ve been looking for you since.”

Donghyuck sits across you on the small table you own inside your small room. His backpack is sitting on his feet and his shoulders are slumped. Donghyuck allows himself to look small compared to all the times you were with him.

“Y-you look good,” he comments, eyes glued on you. “I’m glad you’re healthy, at least.”

“You, too,” you mumble. “Tea? Coffee?”

“Water would be fine, please and thank you.” You reach over to hand him a bottle. “And who are you kidding? I look awful.”

He does. He looks exactly what he said he had done to get here. Look for you for six hours after a ten-hour flight from Incheon. Donghyuck downs the bottle of water. Poor guy probably hasn’t eaten.

“Why are you here, Donghyuck?” you ask as soon as he’s done drinking.

Donghyuck clears his throat. “I don’t really know what I want out of this trip.”

You keep your arms crossed over your chest.

“And I’m not about to beg you to take me back,” he continues. “I just wanted to explain. I just want you to know what happened. I can live without you, but I can’t live with you thinking I had betrayed you.”

“Donghyuck, there’s really no need to explain. Renjun has told Mark all I needed to know.”

“No, let me say it please. I spent a fortune to come here, and I’m going to make you listen if it’s the last thing I’d do. After this, I’ll leave. I have a ticket back home tomorrow, and I’ll leave.”

Ridiculous. Who would spend a fortune on a set of roundtrip tickets only to leave a day after? Of course, only Lee Donghyuck.

“Karina and I go way back,” he says. “We’ve known each other since we were kids. And she’s not someone I could just get rid of just because our relationship didn’t work out. We’re better off as friends, and that’s a fact we had come to learn when we tried dating. And it was painful, but I couldn’t lose her just because we didn’t know how to date, how to play boyfriend and girlfriend to each other. That’s the first thing I need you to understand.”

“Like I don’t know that already?” you remark sarcastically.

“Karina is a part of me.” Shit’s painful.

“But now like how you are a part of me.”

Oh.

“She’s my best friend, almost like a sister now, and my parents care about her,” he continues. “It was a mistake that we even tried to date just so we could relate to everyone dating everybody. It almost ruined us, and Karina and I, we can’t afford to lose each other just because of that. The person who I am now, part of it is because of Karina. But Y/N, the person I’m about to become, I want it to be because of you.”

He clears his throat again. You look at the bottle of water he finished drinking because you really can’t look at Donghyuck now. Not when he’s vulnerable and out in the open. Not when he’s exactly the way he was when you fell in love with him.

“And I had plans. For the long run,” he says like a promise. “I had started looking up how to get a tourist visa to Canada and how to get you a tourist visa to Korea. I’ve been saving all my allowances and the money I’ve been earning from work so I could book a ticket to Vancouver for the summer and spend it with you. And I was supposed to tell Mom, but I haven’t had the chance yet—that one I have no excuse for. But the timing was off and she met you before I could tell her. She had no idea and she’s genuinely sorry she made it seem like she wanted me to end up with Karina. If she had known I was already in love with someone else, she wouldn’t have said that in front of you. She would have loved you.”

Donghyuck pauses. You look up to see him wiping his tears from his cheeks. “And I’m sorry that the timing didn’t go well for us, but I promise you I had plans. I just didn’t want to spend the rest of your weeks in Seoul thinking about you being gone as soon as the semester is over. I wanted to seize the moments with you and make you—I wanted to make you feel that I love you.”

Your breath hitches. Donghyuck locks eyes with you.

“I love you. I love you and I’m so sorry that I made you feel like I didn’t,” he confesses, bursting into tears and you do, too. “I’m so sorry that I didn’t try hard enough to make you stay. I’m so sorry that I talked to fast that time I finally got you to answer my call; I should’ve explained more calmly. I’m so sorry that we’re here, in Vancouver, hearts broken. But I love you, and I wish I could say all of these in English if that’s what would make you believe it’s real and it’s true.”

But he doesn’t have to.

“I love you,” you say in your mother tongue before switching to Korean. “I love you. And I know you love me. And I’m so sorry for jumping to conclusions and not trying hard enough. Just like you, I had plans to. For the long run. And I can live without you, too, but I can’t live without you knowing how much I love you.”

Donghyuck giggles through his tears and reaches out both hands to wipe off yours. “Let’s not live without each other.”

It’s him to moves, standing a little, so he could kiss you.

The kiss says everything the language barrier can’t. I love you. I missed you. I’m sorry. This is everything I’ve ever wanted. You are everything I’ve ever wanted.

Donghyuck spends the night tracing your body with his mouth like he’s writing a love song and he needs to taste you first before he could write the first melody. You spend the night underneath Donghyuck’s love, whispering his name like praise, taking, taking, taking everything he’s giving you.

You wake up to arms around you and the love of your life kissing the back of your neck. You and him spend the entire day (or at least, the seven hours he had until he had to take the flight back home) talking about your plans and making a list of thing you have to talk about over the phone, but today, you’re taking him out on a date under the warm, sunny skies of Vancouver.

And you do. You and Donghyuck have the best day ever together. Donghyuck gives you the other pair of the touch lamp you’d given to him as a birthday present—you’d forgotten you left it when you ran off; you were supposed to watch him open it so you could show him how it works—and makes you promise to touch the lamp whenever you missed him. He thanks you for the mixtape and confesses he cries whenever he plays it inside his car. He also gives you your small notebook of learning languages back (because you had dramatically left it to Renjun before you boarded the plane), saying you’d need it again.

Mark refused to come because he wants you and Donghyuck to talk and spend the day creating a game plan to make your relationship work. At the end of the hours you had with him, you don’t come up with a solid game plan.

Because Giselle was right, after all, it all comes down to the choices you make. There was no formula on how a long-distance relationship would work. Neither you nor Donghyuck had survived one, but you knew one thing:

Today, you and Donghyuck choose each other.

It’s only the beginning, it seems.

The sun is out and bright when Donghyuck boards the plane.

It’s a lot warmer than the rest of the year, but you don’t really mind.

[babydollslibrary]

QUESTION…? — QUINN HUGHES

quinn hughes x fem!reader

published: February 4th, 2023

summary: in which Quinn and sunshiny good girl, y/n, have harbored feelings for each other for a while. but when they finally hookup, Quinn leaves in the middle of the night and let’s y/n believe maybe it was just a one night fling.

specific lyrics: “good girl, sad boy.” and “did you ever have someone kiss you in a crowded room and every single one of your friends was making fun of you but fifteen seconds later they were clapping too? then what did you do? did you leave her house in the middle of the night?”

warnings: kinda steamy but no NSFW. profanity.

not my gif

contrary to popular belief, i’m not oblivious to the irony of Quinn Hughes and i being best friends. the optimistic, always happy, constantly smiling hopeless romantic being best friends with the pessimistic, always looks miserable, rarely smiling hockey player? yeah, it’s baffled our other friends for years.

but when asked, i can’t really explain it. Quinn and i just click. we know what makes the other happy, or sad, or angry. it’s easy for us to be around each other. and we’re understanding of each other. i don’t push him to talk, and he’s one of the rare few who will just sit and listen to me ramble without asking me to shut up. as like all best friends we’re really close. we like to think we have no secrets. that we tell each other everything.

but, i have one.

i’m in love with my best friend.

i never meant for it to happen. when we became friends, i was actually glad to finally meet a guy that just wanted to be friends. no underlying motives, no moves being pulled. just friends. but eventually my feelings changed. it wasn’t all at once, like i read about in my romance novels. no. the changes were gradual. it started slowly, with me seeking him out more than my other friends. then it turned into getting butterflies in my stomach when we touched, no matter if we were holding hands, linked arms, or if i was just sitting close enough to him on the couch that our thighs touched. at first i chalked it up to him just being my best friend, but then the dreams started happening. dreams where he and i were dating. and eventually sleeping dreams turned into daydreams. and then i finally realized my true feelings. i’m in love with my best friend.

i’ve spent the better half of our four year friendship hiding my feelings from him, too scared that confessing might ruin our friendship. he’s never given me any reason to assume that he feels the same way, so i keep my feelings locked in a box in the back of my mind, only let free when i’m alone and daydreaming about what life would be like if we were more than friends.

i’ve since then gone on several dates with numerous guys, trying to find someone who makes me feel the way Quinn does, but it’s been a moot effort. every guy has been missing the spark that i feel between Quinn and i. and i always end up back to the beginning, spending my nights hanging out with my best friend and just hoping i’m strong enough not to spill my secret.

which brings us to now, where i’m mentally screaming over how good Quinn looks in his white button down shirt and black dress pants. it’s new year’s eve, and most of the Canucks team, their partners, and a few friends are lounged around Elias’s house. with five minutes until the new year, i’m sat on the couch clutching a glass of champagne, my sixth of the night, and animatedly chatting with Quinn, who looks like he would rather be anywhere else. but i’ve learned by now that that’s just his resting facial expression.

“alcohol makes you chatty, doesn’t it y/n?” Elias laughs from his spot in the chair a few feet away from us. i stop talking, letting out a weak chuckle. it’s not like i’m unused to comments like that, i’m often told that i talk a lot, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t sting a little.

“it does. but i like it. i like listening to her talk.” Quinn defends. my heart flutters in my chest at his words. a blush coating my cheeks. “now back to what you were saying, y/n.”

i blink a few times, just staring at my best friend in front of me before i begin to speak.

“oh. i was just saying that i think my parents want me to visit soon. but i was done speaking.” i shrug.

“no, you weren’t.” Quinn’s brows furrow and he wears a scowl. “you were still talking.”

“well, i was about done anyways. but i can keep talking.” Quinn’s lips quirk in a half smile and he nods for me to continue. “well, i do think the concept of new years is pretty weird. and some of the traditions that people have are weird as well. like-”

i’m cut off by the simultaneous chants of the people surrounding us. counting down from ten. i smile and my face lights up. i love this part of the holiday.

“SEVEN! SIX! FIVE!” i sigh as i watch couples pair off, ready to kiss their other half a happy new year, a longing look in my eye. i feel Quinn shift beside me, his thigh pressing closer into mine. but my eyes are locked on my friends all smiling at their significant others, so happy and in love. i want that.

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!” i’m snapped out of my thoughts by a hand grasping my chin. my face is turned and i’m able to catch a quick glimpse of Quinn’s eyes before my lips are covered by his. his hands move to cup my face, his lips moving over mine. it takes me a second of hesitation to realize what’s happening and my heart speeds up. i snap out of my trance in time to move my lips, locking us into a slow and passionate kiss.

“GO HUGGY! FINALLY!” i hear someone yell and everyone laughs, cracking jokes about how long it took for us to kiss. Quinn pulls back to lock eyes with me, his chest rising and falling with quick breaths. he gives me a small smile before leaning in and capturing my lips with his once more. our friends start clapping and i smile into the kiss, making him pull away once again. this time he pulls away completely, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to him.

what did that mean? does he like me the way that i like him? or was it just a midnight kiss between friends? is this gonna change anything, or are we just going to move past this like it didn’t happen? does he realize how much this means to me? my head is swarmed with questions that i may never know the answers to.

i stay glued to his hip for the rest of the night, my head still reeling from the kiss. not long after midnight, everyone starts to head home, and i follow Quinn out to his car so he can give me a ride. he opens the passenger seat for me, helping me in before shutting it and jogging around the front of the car, slipping into the drivers seat. the drive is unusually quiet, my usual chattiness drifted away after our kiss. instead i’m stuck inside my own mind, still wondering what it meant. when he pulls up and parks in a spot outside my apartment complex, he turns to look at me, and i manage a smile.

“you okay?” he asks. “you’ve been quiet.”

“yeah, i’m fine. just figured i’d give you a reprieve.” i joke. his expression tells me he didn’t appreciate my attempt.

“don’t do that.” he says.

“do what?”

“don’t let what Elias said get into your head. i love that you never stop talking. i like seeing you happy.”

okay he needs to stop talking before i do something monumentally stupid. like kiss him again.

“don’t worry, Quinny. i’m not gonna go silent on you. i was just joking.” i smile. “who else can i talk about all my star wars theories with, without them calling me a nerd?”

he laughs and unbuckles his seatbelt.

“you wanna come in and drink some wine while i tell you about how i think Palpatine is actually Anakin’s father?” i ask, and he nods.

“what else would i do?” he jokes sarcastically.

we get out of the car and Quinn leads the way up to my apartment, having been here hundreds of times in the past four years. i unlock my door and call out to my cat that i’m home. within seconds she comes around the corner, and Quinn scoops her up in his arms, cradling her like a baby. i listen to him coo at her as i grab a bottle of wine off my kitchen counter and pour two glasses.

within a few minutes, Quinn and i are sat on my bed, drinking our wine as i lay my feet in his lap and talk to him about my theory. Quinn listens intently, as if he hasn’t already heard it a million times, and absentmindedly lays his hand on my ankle, sending a spark up my leg.

“anyways, enough about that.” i finish. “how’s your mom? i heard you on the phone with her earlier. I miss Ellen.”

he smiles, a rare genuine grin at the mention of his family.

“she’s good.” he nods. “she misses you too. keeps telling me to bring you to the lake house this summer.”

“we’ll if that’s your way of offering, then i accept.” i tell him before joking- “i miss my favorite Hughes brother.”

“there’s no way that Luke is your favorite. i call bullshit.”

“you call bullshit every time i say it, but i still remain adamant. he’s the sweetest.” i tease. “he told me last summer that if i ever decide that i like younger guys, he’ll take me out. maybe i’ll finally take him up on that offer.”

Quinn raises an eyebrow, tickling the inside of my ankles as he speaks.

“oh please. he wouldn’t know how to handle you.”

i bark out a laugh and nudge his thigh with my foot.

“and just what is that supposed to mean?” i ask.

“it means that whatever man you finally decide is good enough for you, needs to appreciate you. he needs to love how much you like to speak, and your hopeless romantic side. he needs to appreciate that you always look on the bright side of things, and find a silver lining in everything. he needs to remember that you’re a sunrise person, preferring the beginning of a new day rather than the end, so you prefer your dates as brunch or picnics or going to a museum rather than dinner or a movie. and Luke is not that guy.”

my heart melts at his words. the fact that he knows these things about me and believes that i deserve to find someone who won’t make me compromise those parts of myself.

and there i go, doing something monumentally stupid, because before i can take a second to think before i react, i lean over and press my mouth to his. his lips lock with mine, moving slowly. i open my mouth, letting his tongue roam freely over mine. Quinn grasps my hips, pulling me in closer so that i’m straddled over his lap, and i roll my hips, lightly grinding down onto him, making him let out a groan.

he tastes like red wine and mint, an odd combination, but not a bad one. his hands slip under my top, skimming my bare skin as he settles them at my waist and pulls me closer. my chest is flush against his now, every breath i take making my nipples brush against his chest, sending pleasure driven shivers down my body, straight to my core.

“please.” i whisper against his lips.

“please what, y/n?” his voice is raspy, laced with lust and seduction.

“please Quinn. please fuck me.” i whimper as he pulls me down to roll over his quickly hardening length.

“whatever you want, baby.”

**

my eyes squint against the light coming in from my bedroom windows as i finally come to. it takes me a couple seconds to remember why i’m naked. and when the memories of the night before flash in my mind, i smile, rolling over in my bed to face Quinn. but his spot is empty. i reach over to feel cold sheets. he’s been gone awhile.

when did he leave? why did he leave?

tears prick at the back of my eyes, but i blink them away. he could just be in the kitchen. rising from my bed, i throw on an oversized t-shirt and some underwear as i glance around my room. his clothes are gone, the only ones left scattered on my floor being my own, sending another sinking feeling in my gut.

i leave my room, walking to my kitchen only for it to be empty. i check my bathroom, my living room, and my guest room, only for all of them to come up empty as well.

he left.

i finally let my tears fall, collapsing on my couch. i thought maybe he liked me, but was last night just an easy fuck for him? did he not want me in the way that i want him? in a relationship sense?

**

it’s been four days since Quinn and i slept together, and we haven’t spoken or seen each other in those days. it’s not unusual for us to not talk or see each other for a few days, but after our night together, i wasn’t expecting the complete silence. i told myself i would confront him the next time i see him, but the thought makes me anxious.

with the Canucks having two nights off in a row, a lot of them are going out to a bar, and as a close friend of the team, i was invited. Andrei didn’t tell me who all is coming though, so as i walk into the bar right now, i worry over the possibility of being confronted with Quinn.

my eyes roam the bar, searching for my friends, and when i finally spot them, i feel both relieved and anxious. i don’t see Quinn. i make my way over to them, giving hugs and fist bumps as i say my hello’s.

“i’m gonna go order a drink.” i let them know, but as i turn around, i see Quinn, who seems to be returning from the restroom. we lock eyes and he veers course, coming to a stop in front of me.

“hey.” he greets me, pulling me into a quick hug. my arms stay glued to my sides.

“hey.” i say weakly. before i can lose my confidence i speak again. “can we talk?”

Quinn nods and tips his head over towards an empty booth across the room. i lead the way over to it, taking a seat on one side while he takes the seat across from me.

“what’s up?” he asks, and i take a second to study his expressionless face. does he really not know what this is about?

“can i ask you a question?” i ask.

“yeah, of course.” he replies. he lifts the hat off his head and sweeps a hand through his hair before replacing the hat. i swallow the lump in my throat and take a deep breath.

“why did you leave?” i manage to get out.

“what?”

“that night. why did you leave? i woke up the next morning and you were gone.” i explain. he opens his mouth but i continue speaking. “i just need to know. did it mean nothing to you? because that night meant everything to me. and i was under the impression that it may have meant something to you, but then you left without even saying goodbye and it made me feel…cheap. so i just want you to be honest with me Quinn, did it? mean anything to you?”

Quinn’s nostrils flare and he winces, as if my words were hard for him to hear.

“of course. it meant so much to me, y/n. but it all happened so fast and right after i said those nice things. so, i laid awake overthinking. and i got it into my head that maybe you were just overwhelmed with what i had said and acted on impulse. that maybe it was just one night for you. and i could take that, so i left. i thought maybe that’s what you wanted me to do.” his voice is soft, barely audible over the commotion of the bar, and his words only make me more upset.

“so you didn’t think to talk to me? you just left?” my words are sharp, my tone incredulous. “if you would’ve talked to me then you would’ve known that i really like you, Quinn. i’ve been in love with you for two years. i wanted that night to happen. it wasn’t just a night for me. was the decision impulsive? maybe. but i thought about that happening between us for years. i wanted it. i want you. not just for one night, but forever.”

his hand snakes across the table, clasping my own.

“i want you too. forever. god, y/n, i’ve been in love with you since i met you. but i knew how much you’d been through with past relationships and i didn’t want to push you. and then when i thought enough time had passed, i didn’t want to ruin our friendship, so i took you in any way i could have you. if that was just as your best friend, then so be it. but i don’t want to be your best friend anymore, y/n/n.”

my head reels with his words, thinking back over them. wait what?

“what?” i whisper, my voice shaky.

“if you can forgive me for being an idiot and jumping to conclusions, i’d really like to be your boyfriend.”

my heart races, and i look into his eyes, seeing nothing but sincerity.

“i’d really like that. but you can’t leave me like that again, Quinn.”

“i don’t think i ever want to leave you again.” he tells me. he stands, taking my hand in his and pulling me up so hard that i crash into his chest. he wraps his arms around my waist, leaning down and letting his lips graze mine, smiling. “my mom is gonna freak when i tell her we’re finally dating.”

my head drops back in a laugh before i tease-

“oh no, how am i gonna break this to Luke?”

[flowerandblood]

The Song of Promises (Sneak Peek)

[ canon • Aemond x Royce • female ]

[ a little preview of the story that awaits you in February; it doesn't end my hiatus, but I'm in the process of writing and I see a little light at the end of the tunnel ]

[ description: Aemond's childhood is filled with loneliness and regret until Daemon arrives in the Red Keep with his first-born child, daughter of Rhea Royce. The fact that neither of them has a dragon of their own binds them together with a thread of understanding, and their slowly developing relationship gives birth in the young prince's mind to a plan of which she is a part. Slow burn, childhood companions to lovers, first intimacy, rude, insolent, arrogant Aemond with big ego. ]

_____

[...]

Just as she had done in their childhood days, to leave her rooms now she had to wait for the watch to change; only then would she slip out and take advantage of the moment to make her way down a dark, rarely used corridor through a side entrance to the prince's quarters.

She had no idea if anyone but her knew about it; presumably if they did, the guards thought the additional door remained locked. However, her cousin had left them open for her, and it was through these that she entered, stepping into his chamber, enveloped in the warm light of the fire.

She spotted his silhouette at once – he was sitting at the top of a long table, on which lay stacks of maps and letters, a thick, old volume in his hands.

When he heard her footsteps, he lifted a glance of his healthy eye to her, and then returned to his reading again, carelessly turning the page over.

She was not bothered by this; he was often in the habit of pretending not to see her at first. From her perspective, it was his attempt to cope with the fact that, although accustomed to solitude, he was hosting someone else in his private quarters.

She untied her cloak, placed it on one of the richly decorated oak chairs and, wearing nothing but her nightgown, took a slow, quiet step towards his bed. She knew she could do it, and that she was certain to stay with him anyway, so she simply lay back on the soft sheet and closed her eyes, listening to the pleasant sound of the sizzling fire.

For a moment, all she could hear was that and the rustle of pages being turned – the smell of him and the parchments pleasantly filled her nose, calming her.

The quiet creak of wood woke her from her half-sleep and she shuddered, opening her sleepy eyes – she spotted his silhouette heading lazily towards her. His hand rose to the belt of his tunic, undoing it with the quiet click of a buckle.

“Tomorrow. You must promise to obey me. Otherwise I will not fly with you.” He said calmly, looking at her with an expression on his face that pretended to show indifference.

“I will.” She said.

“Mm.” He hummed under his breath, finally pulling the leather material off his shoulders.

She made room for him and moved sideways on the bed as he sat on the edge of it and leaned over, pulling his boots off his feet. She watched wordlessly as he did the same a moment later with his eye patch, finally throwing it carelessly onto the stone floor. He sighed and hid his face in his hand, massaging the area around his scarred eye socket in some subconscious reflex.

Stress was causing discomfort to return to the left side of his face.

“You are in pain.” She whispered softly, raising herself up on her elbow.

He didn't reply, just swallowed hard and froze in stillness.

“Let me.” She insisted, and he finally looked at her and nodded.

She raised herself up on her knees and moved towards him, sitting down so that she could see his face. He looked at her silently with some kind of melancholy as her hands gently grasped his face and her thumbs began to massage his temples.

He immediately closed his eye and flinched as her thumbs moved over his brow arches and cheekbones – he twitched when she did it the first time, but relaxed more and more with each subsequent stroke, and his face took on an expression of relief.

“I wouldn't object if you did this to me all night.” He said quietly, his eyelid still closed. She smiled involuntarily at his words, running her fingers over his forehead, nose and cheeks, going back to the beginning – to his temples and brows.

“I can.” She said warmly, but he shook his head.

“We need to rest. Come. I want to sleep.”

[pbaz7]

AGAINST THE TIDE: PART SEVEN

paige x azzi

warnings: mention of drug use, sexual content

word count: 8.3k

A/N: This chapter has a few different time jumps so don’t skip over the dates lmao or you might think things are moving a little fast. Everyone’s been asking for this so here it is 🫣. I know emotions are going to be all over the place reading this one so please humor me with some live reactions 😭

—————————————————————————

February 2022

It had been about a month of the same awkward, unspoken limbo between Paige and Azzi. To anyone with eyes, it was painfully obvious the two of them liked each other—more than liked each other—but neither had made an outward move. They didn’t need to say it out loud to know why. Things between them would be complicated, and complications weren’t something either of them could afford right now.

Azzi was back on the court, fully cleared and playing with the same intensity she had before she got injured. Paige, meanwhile, was still stuck on the sidelines, a couple of weeks away from her own return. She hadn’t let that stop her from being Azzi’s biggest supporter, though. If anything, she threw herself into it even more—watching film with Azzi late into the night, breaking down plays for her, doing anything she could to make her job easier on the court. They had also gotten back into the habit of going to the gym together all the time at all hours of the night.

Overall their routine hadn’t changed much, but something beneath it had. The soft flirting they used to do had picked up and Paige quickly learned just how handsy Azzi was, how affectionate she was, how she would purposefully bite her lip while looking up at Paige. For Paige, it was becoming almost physically painful to be around Azzi without saying something—without telling her just how much she liked her. It was there in the way her heart raced when Azzi laughed, in the way her chest ached when their hands brushed accidentally. But every time the words hovered on the tip of her tongue, she swallowed them back down, convincing herself it wasn’t the right time. Knowing they had a silent agreement.

Azzi, for her part, seemed oblivious to how much Paige was feeling—or maybe she was just better at hiding it. Hiding just how much she felt too. She was her usual steady self, focused and unflappable, though there were moments when her gaze lingered on Paige just a little too long, or her smile softened in a way that felt almost too tender.

Now, as they sat in Paige’s dorm, that same quiet tension hung between them. The TV played in the background, but neither of them was paying attention. Azzi’s fingers absentmindedly played with Paige’s, a habit that had started sometime over the past few months and somehow became a comfort for both of them. Paige’s gaze dropped to their hands, watching the way Azzi’s fingertips traced the curves of hers.

Something about it—about her—felt so intimate, so significant in Paige’s life—that made Paige’s heart race and ache all at once. Her eyes hesitantly drifted to Azzi’s face, taking in the way her soft smile lit up the room. It was the kind of smile Azzi always gave her, warm and easy, but this time Paige’s stomach flipped, her heart pounding harder.

Azzi noticed the shift in her demeanor immediately, her smile faltering slightly as her brows knitted together. “What’s up, P?” she asked gently, tilting her head to study Paige’s expression.

Paige’s lips parted as if to answer, but no words came out. She turned her gaze away, her heart hammering too loudly in her chest for her to think straight. “It’s nothing,” she muttered, shaking her head.

Azzi’s fingers stilled against hers, and she shifted closer, her tone soft but persistent. “Hey… talk to me. What’s going on?”

Paige hesitated, glancing down at their hands again. She exhaled a shaky breath before finally lifting her eyes to meet Azzi’s. Her voice was barely above a whisper. “Az, do you like me?”

Azzi froze, her breath catching at the unexpected question they had been dancing around. For a moment, she didn’t know what to say, completely caught off guard by the fragile, hesitant way Paige had asked. Her heart stuttered as she processed the weight behind the words.

“Of course I like you, Paige,” she finally said, her voice soft but steady.

Paige bit her lip, her gaze dropping for a moment before she looked back at Azzi, her eyes searching. “Then why don’t we ever talk about it?” she asked, her voice cracking slightly.

Azzi blinked, struggling to find the right words. She glanced away, running her thumb over Paige’s knuckles before meeting her gaze again. “Because I’m scared,” she admitted quietly.

Paige’s brow furrowed, her chest tightening. “Scared of what?”

Azzi hesitated, her own heart racing now. She could feel the vulnerability in her chest, raw and exposed, but something about the way Paige looked at her—so open, so unsure—made her want to be completely honest.

“I’m scared of how you make me feel,” Azzi said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m 19 and I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. It’s like… it’s like I’ve known you my entire life. Like everything before UConn, me not being able to stand the sight of you, you being the rudest person I’d met didn’t happen. And that scares me, P. It scares me that all I remember about you now is this charming, sweet, beautiful version of you that I just got to know.”

Paige’s lips parted slightly, her breath catching as Azzi’s words washed over her.

Azzi looked down at their hands, her voice trembling slightly. “But I’m also scared that if I admit why I feel this way… if something goes wrong… I’ll lose you. And you’re not just… this person I like, Paige. You're not just one of my teammates. You’re my best friend and I can’t mess that up.”

The confession hung in the air, making the air heavy. Paige’s heart clenched, her throat tightening as she processed Azzi’s words. Paige’s lips curved into a small, nervous smile, her cheeks faintly flushed as she tightened her grip on Azzi’s fingers. Her voice was soft, almost timid, as she said, “I like you too, Az.”

Azzi’s lips twitched into a smile, the corners quirking up slightly. She tilted her head, a playful yet knowing glint in her eyes. “I know you do,” she whispered, her tone light but her gaze warm, almost tender.

Paige let out a soft, breathy laugh, but it quickly faded as her mind went elsewhere. Her gaze flickered to Azzi’s lips for the briefest moment before her eyes found hers again. “I really want to kiss you. I always want to kiss you,” she admitted, her voice barely audible, as if saying it too loudly might shatter the delicate moment between them.

Azzi’s fingers stilled against Paige’s. For a second, the idea tempted her, pulling at her heartstrings, imagining how soft Paige’s lips would be against hers, but she exhaled slowly and shook her head gently. “We can’t, P,” she said softly, her tone firm but kind.

Paige’s brows furrowed slightly, and Azzi didn’t miss the flicker of hurt that flashed in her eyes. It was gone almost as quickly as it appeared, but it lingered enough to twist something in Azzi’s chest.

Paige looked down at their hands, her voice quiet but insistent as she voiced the real reason neither of them ever mentioned their feelings. “Teammates date all the time, Az. It’s not like it would be a big deal.”

Azzi gave her a sad smile, squeezing her hand lightly. “But they also break up all the time,” she said softly. “And then things get weird all the time. And someone ends up having to leave, most of the time.”

Azzi paused, glancing away as if gathering her thoughts. When she looked back at Paige, her gaze was steady, though her voice remained gentle. “I like it here, P. I like it here with you. With the team. And…” She hesitated for a moment before continuing, “I’ve wanted this—playing at UConn—since I was a kid. It was all I dreamed of and I don’t want to lose that.”

Paige’s lips parted as if to respond, but Azzi beat her to it.

“I don’t want to lose you, either,” Azzi said, her voice quiet but earnest.

Paige’s chest ached at the sincerity in Azzi’s words, and for a moment, she didn’t know what to say. Then, her lips curved into a small, bittersweet smile. “Who said it would be you that left?” she asked softly.

Azzi’s expression softened even further, her eyes locking with Paige’s. She shook her head slightly, her voice calm and sure. “You’re Paige Bueckers,” she murmured. “It’s gonna be me.”

The words hung in the air between them, the few words saying everything Azzi didn’t need to explain. Paige hummed quietly, her lips pressing into a thin line before she leaned forward, resting her cheek gently on Azzi’s head.

That was all Azzi needed to say as their conversation tapered off, the silence that followed filled with unspoken understanding. Both of them knew what was at stake, and though it hurt, there was a quiet agreement between them—a fragile truce between their hearts and their reality.

Azzi’s hand returned to Paige’s, her fingers resuming their slow, absent-minded play. Paige’s gaze flickered toward the TV, though she wasn’t really watching the movie anymore as her mind wandered. She sighed softly, letting herself relax against Azzi as she kissed the top of her head.

April 2022

It was April now, and the season had officially come to an end. They lost in the championship, though no one talks about that. They’re all just trying to move on and enjoy the time they have left with the seniors. The two of them had barely spoken about their feelings for one another since the night in Paige’s dorm. Nothing had changed between them, but at the same time, everything felt different. The way Paige looked at Azzi with her blue eyes made her breath catch in her throat everytime and every time she would play it off by pushing Paige’s face away mumbling something she would never clarify. Paige was basically whipped and would do anything Azzi asked without hesitation and everyone noticed.

Now, they were lying in Azzi’s room, the faint hum of Paige’s playlist filling the quiet space. Paige was stretched out on her stomach, scrolling aimlessly on her phone, while Azzi sat cross-legged at the head of the bed, twisting a strand of her hair between her fingers.

Paige glanced up, her brows furrowing as she caught the nervous energy radiating from Azzi. The girl was unusually quiet, her eyes flickering toward Paige every few seconds before darting away again.

Setting her phone aside, Paige shifted to sit up. “Okay, what’s going on? Seriously, Azzi, why are you being so weird today?”

Azzi froze, her fingers stilling in her hair. Her jaw tightened as if she were trying to hold something back, but after a long pause, she exhaled sharply and blurted, “I have a date.”

For a moment, Paige didn’t react. She couldn’t have heard her correctly as the words hung in the air between them, and then, slowly, she processed them and the impact hit. Her body stiffened, and she immediately sat up straighter, instinctively leaning back a little to stand up.

“Oh,” Paige said softly, her voice clipped. She tried to mask the hurt, but her expression betrayed her. The usual flicker of pain in her eyes was brief, but this time it lingered and it twisted something deep in Azzi’s stomach as she looked at her..

“Wait.” Azzi reached out quickly, her hand wrapping around Paige’s wrist before she could pull away completely. “Please don’t do that. Sit back down and just listen.”

Paige hesitated, her gaze hardening slightly as she stared at Azzi’s hand on her wrist. “Do what?” she asked, her tone sharper than she intended.

Azzi softened her grip, but she didn’t let go. “You know what I mean,” she said quietly. “Don’t pull away from me.”

Reluctantly, Paige let herself sink back onto the bed, though the tension in her shoulders didn’t ease. “So...you have a date,” she said, forcing the words out as if testing how they sounded in her mouth. “That’s great, Az. Really. Good for you.”

Azzi sighed, sensing the sarcasm, but she ignored it. “Paige,” she said, her voice quieter now. She shifted closer, still holding Paige’s wrist as if afraid she might bolt. “I just need you to be my best friend and support me in this just for tonight. No matter how much neither of us wants this.”

Paige’s laugh was sharp and humorless. “Why are you even going, then?” she asked, her voice rising slightly.

Azzi’s jaw tensed, and for a moment, she didn’t respond. Her gaze dropped to their hands, where her thumb traced absent patterns on Paige’s skin. “Because I need to at least try,” she admitted finally, her voice trembling with vulnerability. “I need to at least try to figure out if anyone else can make me feel the way you do. Feel even a fraction of what you make me feel.”

Paige inhaled sharply at this, her chest feeling almost painful as she listened to Azzi. She turned her face away, but Azzi wasn’t having it. Her free hand came up, gently cupping Paige’s cheek and guiding her back. Their eyes met, and Azzi’s own gaze softened.

“These silent feelings between us hurt too much, P,” Azzi whispered, her voice breaking slightly. “So I need to at least try. So I know what I need to do.”

Paige’s jaw tightened, her eyes glistening with unshed tears at the simple thought of Azzi being with someone else. At the thought of Azzi still needing to figure things out when Paige knew exactly how she felt. Her voice was barely above a whisper when she nodded and said, “Fine.”

Azzi swallowed hard, her hand dropping back to Paige’s. “So tonight you’re just going to be my best friend. You’re going to help me get ready,” she continued, her tone firm but gentle. “You’re going to tell me if I look nice enough before I leave. And when I come back, you’re going to let me tell you about it. Good or bad.”

A tear slipped down Paige’s cheek and she felt so damn dramatic, but Azzi didn’t mind as she caught it, her touch lingering. “Can I meet them?” Paige asked, her voice a little hoarse.

Azzi’s smile softened as she nodded. “Of course.”

For a moment, they simply sat there, the silence between them louder than the music playing softly in the background. Paige’s shoulders sagged slightly as she leaned back, letting Azzi hold her hand for a little longer.

…

Azzi stood in front of her closet, two shirts in hand, her nerves bubbling just beneath the surface. She wasn’t even nervous about the date. She was nervous she would hate it, nervous what it meant for her and Paige. The knock at the door hadn’t come yet, but she knew it was only a matter of minutes. She turned to Paige, who sat quietly on the edge of the bed, hands clasped in her lap as her gaze lingered somewhere near Azzi’s shoes lost in her own thoughts.

Holding up both shirts, Azzi cleared her throat. “Which one?” she asked softly, her voice laced with hesitation. “The red or the white?”

Paige blinked, her head lifting as she regarded the options. She pointed to the red shirt after a moment, her voice steady but quieter than usual. “Red. It makes your eyes look...brighter.”

The comment hit Azzi harder than Paige intended. Her heart ached, but she swallowed it down, nodding as she turned back toward the closet. “Red it is,” she murmured, her voice barely audible.

Paige’s eyes followed Azzi as she changed into the chosen shirt, her movements slow and deliberate. She tried not to let her emotions show, but the faint furrow of her brows and the way she pressed her lips together betrayed her.

When Azzi finally turned around, fully dressed, Paige’s breath caught for a moment. She offered a soft, sad smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Azzi hesitated before stepping closer, the space between them narrowing until she was standing between Paige’s legs. She placed her hands gently on Paige’s shoulders, the warmth of her touch seeping through the fabric of Paige’s sweatshirt.

“I’m sorry, P,” Azzi whispered, her voice cracking slightly. Her dark eyes searched Paige’s face, pleading for understanding.

Paige looked up at her, her lips parting as if to respond, but no words came. Instead, she reached out, her fingers lightly brushing against the edge of Azzi’s shirt. Finally, she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. “You look beautiful, Az.”

The sincerity in her tone made Azzi’s chest tighten. She opened her mouth to respond, but before she could, a sharp knock echoed through the room.

The sound was jarring, cutting through the moment like a blade. Azzi flinched slightly, her hands still resting on Paige’s shoulders as her gaze darted toward the door.

Paige’s hand fell back into her lap, and she looked down, her expression unreadable. Azzi hesitated, torn between the pull of the person waiting on the other side of the door and the weight of the person sitting in front of her.

Paige and Azzi knew it was only one day. They knew it was just a few hours. But they also knew that the outcome of these few hours could change a lot for them so it felt much heavier than it needed to.

After a beat, she took a deep breath and squeezed Paige’s shoulders gently before stepping away. “I...should get that,” Azzi said.

Paige nodded, her eyes never leaving the floor. “Yeah. You should.”

Azzi lingered for a moment longer, the silence between them heavy, before turning toward the door.

A few moments later Azzi walked back into the room, her keys in hand and her purse slung over her shoulder. Paige hadn’t moved an inch from where she was sitting on the edge of the bed, her hands clasped tightly in her lap as her gaze stayed fixed on the floor.

Azzi paused, watching her for a moment before breaking the silence. “Do you still want to meet him?”

Paige’s head lifted slightly, her brows furrowing. “Him?” she repeated, her voice tinged with surprise.

Azzi nodded, noticing the surprise in Paige’s voice. “Yeah... him.”

Paige blinked, the answer catching her off guard. For some reason, she had assumed Azzi’s date was a girl. She wanted to stay put, to ignore the question and let Azzi walk out the door, but the subtle look in Azzi’s eyes—uncertain, almost pleading—made her sigh.

Without a word, Paige pushed herself off the bed, her movements stiff and reluctant. She followed Azzi down the hall and into the living room, her stomach twisting the closer they got.

When they stepped into the room, Paige’s eyes landed on a guy sitting on the couch. He stood up as Azzi approached, a friendly but slightly awkward smile on his face.

“Derrick,” Azzi said, her voice a little hesitant as she gestured between them. “This is my best friend, Paige.”

Derrick looked between the two of them, his confusion evident, though he masked it quickly. “Uh, nice to meet you,” he said, holding out his hand.

Paige stared at him for a moment before sticking out her own hand, her grip firm as they shook. “Paige,” she said simply, her tone polite but distant.

“Derrick,” he replied, his smile still in place, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. Why the hell was he meeting a best friend?

Azzi’s gaze flickered between them, her discomfort evident. Paige released Derrick’s hand and took a small step back, tightening her jaw as she glanced at Azzi. “Well,” she said, her voice clipped, “have fun.”

Azzi nodded, but as she turned toward the door with Derrick, she glanced back over her shoulder. “You’ll be here when I get back, right?”

Her voice was soft, almost pleading, as she looked at Paige with eyes she could never say no to. So she swallowed hard, her expression unreadable at the thought of just sitting here waiting for Azzi to get back from a fucking date, but still, she gave a small nod. “Yeah. I’ll be here.”

Azzi lingered for a moment, her eyes searching Paige’s face as if she wanted to say something more. But then Derrick shifted beside her, and the moment was gone. She turned back toward the door, leading Derrick out with a quiet goodbye.

As the door clicked shut behind them, Paige exhaled, sinking back onto the edge of the couch. The silence in the apartment felt deafening, and all she could do was sit there and wait for Azzi to come back with a decision.

…

Paige lay sprawled on Azzi’s bed, her arm resting over her eyes, but when the door creaked open, she shifted slightly, glancing up to see Azzi walking in. She didn’t say anything, and neither did Azzi at first. The room felt still, with unspoken words.

Azzi took a hesitant step forward, her voice soft as she broke the silence. “Thank you for staying.”

Paige gave her a small, tired smile, but her lips remained sealed. Azzi studied her for a moment before letting out a quiet sigh. She slipped off her shoes and dropped her bag near the door, walking over to sit on the edge of her bed.

The movement made Paige sit up, her legs crossed as she now faced Azzi. The quiet stretching between them until Paige finally asked, “So... how was it?”

Azzi laughed, though the sound carried more exasperation than amusement. “It was... exhausting.” She shook her head and reached for Paige’s hand, running her fingers lightly over the soft skin. “His hands were really hard.”

Paige chuckled, the corner of her mouth quirking up. “Hard hands, huh? What a dealbreaker.”

Azzi laughed again, this time more genuine. “Yeah, and he talked too much. Like, nonstop. It was giving me a headache. And he had so much energy.” She glanced up at Paige, a teasing glint in her eye. “Kinda like you, but... I didn’t like it when he was doing it.”

Paige laughed softly, though there was still tension in her frame. “So, hard hands and a chatterbox. What else?”

Azzi paused, her fingers tightening slightly around Paige’s. Her voice dropped a little as she continued. “He tried to kiss me.”

Paige froze, her jaw tightening, though she tried to keep her expression neutral. “Did he?” she asked, her voice carefully even.

Azzi shook her head, squeezing Paige’s hand to ground her. “No. I didn’t let him.”

Paige’s shoulders relaxed slightly, though her eyes still searched Azzi’s face. “You didn’t want to?”

Azzi shook her head again, her gaze soft but steady. “No... I didn’t want to kiss him.”

The words hung between them, heavy and loaded with everything unsaid. Paige swallowed hard, her free hand playing with the comforter beneath them. “Why not?”

Azzi looked at her then, her eyes brimming with an emotion Paige couldn’t quite place. “Because he’s not you. I don’t want anybody but you,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Paige’s chest felt tight at the words, her heart pounding as she held Azzi’s gaze. After a beat, she murmured, “I’m going to kiss you now Az.”

Azzi’s breath hitched, her lips parting slightly. “No, you’re not, Paige. We talked about this,” she said, her voice trembling. But there was no conviction behind her words, only a faint tremor of fear.

“Yes, I am,” Paige replied, her voice firmer this time, her gaze unwavering.

Azzi swallowed hard, her eyes darting between Paige’s eyes and her lips. “Paige...”

Paige leaned in just a fraction, her voice softer now but still resolute. “Azzi.”

Azzi’s breathing quickened, her pulse racing as her name fell from Paige’s lips. She didn’t say anything else, her silence speaking louder than words.

Paige hesitated for a moment longer, searching Azzi’s face for any sign of hesitation, any sign showing she didn’t want this. When all she saw was a mixture of nervousness and longing that was all the confirmation she needed.

Slowly, she leaned in, her movements deliberate and careful. When their lips finally met, it was as if the world around them fell away. Paige’s lips were soft, warm, and hesitant, testing the waters as if afraid to break the fragile moment.

Azzi sighed into the kiss, her hand coming up to cradle Paige’s face immediately as their lips moved together in perfect rhythm. Paige’s lips were impossibly soft which didn’t surprise her and Paige swore she could taste the faintest hint of the pineapple lip gloss Azzi always wore.

The kiss wasn’t rushed or messy. It was tender, filled with every unspoken word they’d held back for months. Paige’s hand slid up to cup Azzi’s cheek, her thumb brushing against her skin as if trying to memorize the feeling.

As they continued to kiss Azzi felt something shift deep within her, like she’d discovered a missing piece of herself in this kiss. Her fingers curled into Paige’s hair, pulling her closer as if she didn’t want her to ever let go.

After their lips finally part, they stay close, foreheads resting together as they catch their breath. Neither of them says anything at first, the silence filled with the weight of what just happened. Paige finally whispers, “That felt… right.”

Azzi lets out a shaky laugh. “It did. That’s the problem.”

Paige pulls back slightly, searching Azzi’s face. “Why does it have to be a problem? We can figure it out Az, teammates really do date all the time.”

Azzi sighs, running a hand through her hair. “They do, but it’s never simple. It changes things, P. And I don’t want us to get... messy.”

Paige frowns, her voice softer now. “It doesn’t feel messy. It feels... easy.”

Azzi smiles at her, almost wistfully. “Until it’s not. And I like us a little too much, Paige. I don’t want to lose us.”

Despite her words, Azzi doesn’t pull away completely. Instead, she stays close, her fingers tracing soft patterns along Paige’s wrist. “I’m not saying we stop, though.”

Paige raises an eyebrow. “What does that mean?”

Azzi bites her lip, looking a little shy as she speaks. “I don’t want to stop kissing you. Or touching you. I just... we need to figure this out without rushing into something we can’t handle.”

Paige hesitates, then nods. “So... no labels.... this?”

Azzi smiles, leaning her forehead against Paige’s again. “Just this. For now.”

July 2022

Those two words—“just this”—became the foundation of what they shared for the next few months. They didn’t need a label to define the intensity of what they felt for each other. It was in the stolen glances and whispers during events, the playful nudges when they just wanted to touch each other in public without drawing too much attention, and the way their hands would linger just a moment too long when ‘helping’ the other with something.

When they weren’t surrounded by teammates, they were all over each other, sneaking away for stolen moments whenever they could. Any excuse to feel the press of their lips, the warmth of the other’s skin, was enough. It was like they craved one another in a way neither of them had ever experienced before.

A few of their teammates had definitely caught on—walking in on them tangled up on the couch looking a little too disoriented or catching them whispering a little too closely in the locker room. But no one said anything, at least not directly. Paige and Azzi kept it to just kissing, though, never crossing the boundary they both silently agreed to respect.

Late one night, in the comfort of Azzi’s room after another heated make-out session, they found themselves lying side by side, breathless and grinning. Azzi, her cheeks flushed, tilted her head toward Paige and asked with curiosity, “How did you not have sex before I got here? You were at UConn a whole year without me. I’ve seen people throw themselves at you.”

Paige laughed, her eyes twinkling with amusement as she propped herself up on her elbow. “I used to be a robot, remember?” she teased, grinning. “No time for distractions when I was locked in..”

Azzi chuckled, rolling her eyes. “Yeah, but even robots can have moments.”

Paige smirked, leaning down to press a kiss to Azzi’s forehead. “Hm, guess I was just waiting for the right person then.”

Their connection had grown deeper with every passing day, and though they’d never said the words out loud again, both knew it was more than just physical. But that’s all they chalked it up to being for now.

Now they were back home in the DMV, where the familiarity and privacy of their hometown gave them a sense of freedom they didn’t have anywhere else.

Paige’s car was parked in their usual spot near a waterfall, the soft hum of Steve Lacy’s new album filling the quiet night air. They found it by accident once when they were looking for the parking lot of a kicking trail. It had become their place—a quiet escape from everything else. The faint rush of water mixed with the lingering scent of smoke from them smoking, something Olivia had introduced them to before she graduated. They didn’t do it often, but tonight felt right.

Paige was relaxed in the driver’s seat, her posture lazy, exuding effortless confidence. She was kind of manspreading, her grey sweats riding low on her hips, and her tank top pushed up just enough to reveal the band of her boxers. Her wavy hair was undone from the braids she’d taken out earlier, and her blue eyes were low and rimmed with a little red from smoking. Her gaze was locked on Azzi. The stupid, lopsided grin she always wore only made her look better.

Azzi sat leaning against the passenger door, her head resting on the cool glass as she tried to focus on what Paige was saying. Or at least, she thought Paige had been talking. Truthfully, Azzi hadn’t been listening for a while. Her gaze kept drifting, tracing the way Paige’s exposed skin looked and how the tank top clung to her, how casual she looked yet somehow so put together. She noticed every detail—the rise and fall of Paige’s chest, the way her fingers tapped idly against her knee, the curve of her lips when she smiled.

She was startled out of her thoughts when Paige’s voice cut through the haze, soft and teasing. “Why you all the way over there?”

“Huh?” Azzi blinked, her cheeks warming as she realized Paige was smirking at her.

Paige leaned back even more, spreading her arms over the top of the seat like she owned the world. “I said, why you all the way over there?” she repeated, gesturing lazily toward Azzi’s position against the door. “I been tryna talk to you.”

Azzi rolled her eyes, though the corner of her mouth twitched. “You’re so annoying,” she muttered, trying to sound unaffected, but Paige’s smirk only grew.

“Yeah ok” Paige said back, her voice dropping just enough to make Azzi’s stomach flip. “Why you here with me then? Wassup with that?”

Azzi shrugged, turning her gaze toward the windshield to avoid Paige’s lingering eyes. “Maybe I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings,” she teased, her voice steady despite the heat rising in her cheeks.

Paige let out a soft laugh, low and warm, the sound wrapping around Azzi like a blanket. “Oh, you’re doing me a favor now huh? That’s cute.” She tilted her head, studying Azzi with a playful intensity. “But you didn’t answer my question. Why you sitting all the way over there like I’m some stranger?”

Azzi hesitated, shifting in her seat. “I’m not—”

“Yes, you are,” Paige interrupted, her grin turning mischievous. She patted the console beside her. “C’mon. What, you scared of me now or something?”

Azzi scoffed, trying to ignore the way her heart was racing. “Scared of you? Please,” she said, forcing her tone to stay light.

Paige raised an eyebrow, her expression daring. “Then come here ma,” she said simply, her voice soft but commanding.

Azzi glanced at her, debating whether to give in or keep playing it cool. “You’re annoying, you know that?” she muttered as she slid across the console, settling closer to Paige.

Paige leaned slightly toward her, the distance between them now almost nonexistent. “You came over here didn’t you,” she teased, her voice dropping into a whisper.

Azzi rolled her eyes again, though it was more out of nervousness than annoyance. “Only because you wouldn’t shut up about it,” she said, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Sure,” Paige said, drawing out the word as her lips curved into a smirk. “You definitely didn’t just want to be closer to me. Totally makes sense.”

Azzi narrowed her eyes, leaning back slightly to create some space. “You’re so full of yourself Paige.”

Paige laughed, the sound low and teasing. “Am I wrong, though?” she asked, her blue eyes locking onto Azzi’s. “You’ve been staring at me all night. Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

Azzi froze for a moment before recovering, her voice sharp with mock indignation. “I was not staring!”

Paige tilted her head, her grin widening. “Mhm. Sure you weren’t.” She leaned in just a little closer, her voice dropping lower. “It’s okay, Azzi. I get it. You can just tell me you want me.”

Azzi opened her mouth to protest, but Paige’s hand moved, brushing against Azzi’s chin and tilting her face up. The playful glint in Paige’s eyes softened, replaced by something deeper, something that made Azzi’s breath hitch.

“See? Not so scary,” Paige murmured, her thumb lightly grazing Azzi’s jaw.

Azzi swallowed hard, her pulse quickening as the teasing tension between them shifted into something heavier. “I hate you,” she whispered, though her voice betrayed her, trembling just enough to make Paige’s grin return.

“And you’re blushing,” Paige countered, her voice soft and teasing as her face moved even closer.

Azzi could feel Paige’s breath now, warm and tantalizing. “Shut up,” she managed to say, though her words held no weight.

“Make me,” Paige whispered, her lips hovering just above Azzi’s.

And then, before Azzi could respond, Paige closed the gap, capturing her lips in a kiss that was soft at first but quickly deepened. Azzi melted into it, her hand instinctively reaching for Paige’s arm, anchoring herself as the world seemed to fall away, leaving just the two of them and the sound of the waterfall in the background.

The kiss was slow but deep, each movement deliberate, the effects of them smoking clear in the way their lips brushed languidly against each other, their tongues tangling slowly. It was intoxicating, neither of them wanting to pull away, but when they finally did, Azzi leaned back against the passenger door, her breathing uneven.

Paige didn’t say anything, but her smirk said it all. Her lips were slightly swollen, glistening in the dim light, and Azzi couldn’t help but think about how annoyingly good she looked. Paige leaned back against the driver’s side door now, her posture relaxed as she let her eyes rake over Azzi without any attempt to hide it.

Azzi shifted under the weight of Paige’s gaze, finally breaking the silence. “Stop looking at me like that.”

Paige chuckled, the sound low and lazy. “Like what?” she asked, though the mischievous tilt of her head made it clear she knew exactly what Azzi meant.

Azzi narrowed her eyes, trying to keep her voice steady. “You’re eye-fucking me, Paige.”

Paige’s grin widened as she shrugged, entirely unbothered. “And?” she replied, her tone dripping with nonchalance, her eyes locked on Azzi.

Azzi narrowed her eyes, struggling to maintain her composure. “And you need to stop,” she said, her voice firmer than she felt.

Paige tilted her head back against the driver’s seat, her smirk deliberate. “No, I don’t,” she shot back smoothly, her confidence filling the small space between them like a slow burn.

The weight of Paige’s gaze made Azzi shift, her thighs pressing together as she crossed her legs in an attempt to quell the heat rising in her. Paige noticed immediately, of course. She always noticed the effect she had on Azzi. Her smirk deepened, and her eyes gleamed with satisfaction.

They stared at each other, the tension palpable. Then Paige broke the silence, her voice dropping lower, softer, almost like a confession. “You’re sexy.”

Azzi froze, her breath catching as the words warmed her entire body. The sincerity and heat in Paige’s tone made her heart pound, leaving her momentarily speechless.

Paige leaned forward slightly, the intensity in her gaze almost unbearable. “You have no idea what I wanna do to you all the time,” she murmured, her voice tinged with awe.

Azzi didn’t answer. She couldn’t. Instead, she found herself leaning forward too, drawn in by the gravity between them. Her hand moved almost on its own, resting against Paige’s thigh as her eyes dropped to Paige’s lips.

Paige noticed the hesitation and closed the distance herself, capturing Azzi’s lips in a kiss that was slower but hungrier this time. It was as if the compliment had ignited something in both of them, and they poured all of it into the kiss.

Azzi sighed softly against Paige’s mouth, her hand sliding up from Paige’s thigh to her hip, her fingers curling into the fabric of Paige’s tank top. Paige groaned quietly, a sound Azzi always loved to hear. Paige’s hand found Azzi’s jaw as she deepened the kiss, tilting her head to taste more.

When they finally pulled apart, their breaths were shallow, their foreheads resting against each other. Paige’s lips were swollen again, glistening in the dim light, but this time, Azzi didn’t look away. Her dark eyes stayed locked on Paige’s, and there was no mistaking the spark of something deeper in her gaze.

Azzi swallowed hard, her voice soft but steady when she finally spoke. “Let’s get in the back.”

Paige’s eyes widened slightly, tracing every detail of Azzi’s face as if searching for any hesitation. She knew exactly what Azzi meant by that, and the weight of the moment settled between them. “You sure?” Paige asked quietly, her voice careful and almost reverent.

Azzi nodded, her lips twitching into a small, confident smile. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

It took all of two seconds for Paige to push her seat forward and climb in the backseat, her movements quick but measured. Azzi followed without hesitation, and before Paige could even settle fully, Azzi was there. She straddled Paige’s lap with ease, her legs on either side of the older girl as her hands rested on Paige’s shoulders.

Paige leaned back slightly against the seat, her hands instinctively finding Azzi’s hips to steady her. She looked up at Azzi, her blue eyes soft yet filled with an intensity that sent a shiver down Azzi’s spine.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Paige murmured, her voice low and teasing, though the sincerity beneath it was undeniable.

Azzi smirked, her hands sliding down Paige’s arms until her fingers laced with hers. “Guess we’re even, then,” she whispered, leaning down just enough for their noses to brush.

Paige chuckled softly, her grip on Azzi’s hips tightening as she let her eyes drift over Azzi’s face, soaking in every detail. “Come here,” she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper, but it carried a weight that made Azzi’s breath hitch.

Azzi didn’t hesitate, closing the small gap between them as their lips met again, this time with more urgency. The kiss was deeper now, fueled by the intimacy of their new position. Paige’s hands slid to Azzi’s ass, pulling her closer as if the small space between them was unbearable.

Azzi shifted slightly, her body fitting perfectly against Paige’s as the kiss grew hungrier, more consuming. It wasn’t just about the physical connection anymore—it was the unspoken understanding between them, the trust and care they had built over months finally coming to the surface.

Paige pulled back just enough to catch her breath, her lips brushing against Azzi’s as she whispered, “You’re incredible, you know that?”

Azzi smiled softly, her forehead resting against Paige’s as she replied, “You make me feel like I am.”

Paige’s heart swelled at the confession, and she tightened her hold on Azzi, leaning up to kiss her again, slow and deliberate, savoring every moment.

They continued to kiss, the rhythm of their lips synchronized as Azzi gently moved her hips, trying to get closer to Paige, to feel her more. Every shift brought them that much nearer, the heat between them escalating with each subtle motion. Paige’s hands stayed on Azzi’s butt, pulling her even tighter as she squeezed, if that was even possible. Their kiss deepened, more frantic now, their shared breaths mingling between the fervent exchanges.

When they finally pulled apart, both of them were gasping for air, their chests rising and falling in unison. Paige’s gaze swept over Azzi, her heart racing. She wished she could freeze this exact moment in time—this version of Azzi. The long goddess braids she had gotten over the summer were tilted to one side, a few strands loose, framing her face. Her lips were swollen, a telltale sign of their heated kiss, and her eyes—those deep, warm brown eyes—were low with desire, the slight speckles of red still lingering from earlier.

Azzi smiled down at Paige, her expression soft yet knowing, as if she could read the thoughts running through Paige’s mind. Before Paige could even respond, Azzi’s lips found her neck, pressing soft, teasing kisses along the sensitive skin there, making Paige’s breath hitch.

The sensation was electric. Paige’s head instinctively rolled back against the seat, her hands tightening on Azzi, a soft, almost inaudible sigh escaping her lips. Azzi’s kisses grew more insistent, trailing up to the sensitive spot just below Paige’s ear, making Paige’s eyes flutter shut. She couldn’t help but moan softly as Azzi’s lips worked their magic.

Paige’s hands slid up Azzi’s hips, pulling her closer as if trying to bring her even further into the moment. “Azzi…” Paige breathed out, her voice barely a whisper, laced with both desire and disbelief. “God, you’re so…”

Azzi chuckled softly against her skin, her hands resting on either side of Paige’s face, gently guiding her chin back so their eyes could meet. She looked at Paige, her brown eyes dark with unspoken affection, a hint of a smirk on her lips as she whispered, “I know.”

The warmth from her words hit Paige harder than any kiss. It was a feeling that went deeper than desire. It was comfort, understanding, and the raw honesty between them. Paige smiled, her heart swelling, as her hands cupped Azzi’s face, pulling her into another kiss, this one slower, but no less intense.

Azzi eventually pulls away from the kiss, her lips brushing softly down Paige’s jaw before she grabs Paige’s hand, guiding it easily toward her. The look on Paige’s face is pure awe as Azzi slides Paige’s hands into her shorts and puts Paige’s fingers inside her herself—her eyes heavy with desire, a subtle tension in her jaw, and a hint of something deeper that makes Paige lose her mind. Azzi’s expression shifts her eyebrows furrowing at the new feeling as she leans back slightly, letting out a soft, breathy sigh that carries the weight of her unspoken thoughts.

Paige watches, completely entranced, as Azzi’s jaw drops just slightly. After she’s acclimated to the feeling her hips begin to move in slow, deliberate circles, drawing out a soft whimper from her lips—an involuntary sound that makes Paige’s chest tighten. The noise is so intimate, so raw, it echoes in the car, mixing with the steady rhythm of Azzi’s breath.

Paige’s breath hitches as Azzi leans back more, the motion drawing a deep, almost melodic groan from her, her hips still moving in a steady rhythm against Paige. "God..." Azzi whispers, the sound escaping her like it’s the only word she can form. Her hands grip the seat, fingers digging in as her breath comes out faster, warmer, the pace of her movements increasing just enough to make Paige’s heart race. Another sound slips from her—low and needy, a soft gasp as her hips shift again, making the air feel thick with anticipation.

Paige watches, mesmerized, not even realizing she’s supposed to be participating anymore. She’s completely lost in Azzi—her gaze trailing over her face, watching her lips part as another small moan escapes. Azzi’s eyes lock onto hers, dark and heated, as she continues to move her hips, her breath quickening. The faintest trail of a whimper follows, rising in pitch, but it’s quickly stifled by a soft, desperate sigh as Azzi shifts her body closer to Paige, creating a tension that wraps around them both.

The sounds continue—Azzi’s hips grinding slowly, her breath coming out in shaky, needy gasps. She exhales sharply, a soft, pleading sound leaving her mouth as she leans back just enough to deepen the way Paige’s fingers feel, creating a slow, undeniable pressure in the air. Her sounds—soft whines, quiet groans, and breathy sighs—are so intoxicating, so raw, that Paige can hardly breathe, let alone move.

"Azzi..." Paige’s voice trembles with desire, barely audible over the intensity of what she’s witnessing. Her eyes stay glued to Azzi, transfixed by the way she’s moving, her body begging for something more as the heat in the car rises with every sound, every shift of Azzi’s hips.

Azzi looks down at her with a knowing, intense gaze, and Paige can feel her heart racing in time with Azzi’s movements. She’s lost in the rawness of it all—the sound, the look, the feeling—as Azzi’s body moves against hers with a quiet desperation, each sound marking the space between them like a rhythm that only the two of them understand.

Azzi’s gaze locks with Paige’s, her breath shaky as she leans in closer, her lips brushing against Paige’s ear as she whispers, her voice breathy and laced with anticipation, “What exactly did you want to do to me?”

Paige’s breath catches in her throat, the sound of Azzi’s voice making everything inside her feel warm. It’s as though the spell that had been cast over her is broken. Her body reacts instinctively, and with a sharp intake of breath, Paige takes control. She slides her free hand to the back of Azzi’s neck, pulling her closer, crashing their lips together in a more urgent kiss than before. The kiss is deep and slow, laced with the power of the question Azzi had just asked.

Azzi's breath quickens as Paige starts moving inside of her, the balance of power shifting as Paige’s fingers move with more confidence, pushing Azzi’s body closer to hers. The energy in the car shifts as their kiss intensifies, moving beyond just desire.

The album continues to play softly in the background, the mellow tones of Steve Lacy’s voice creating a calm, almost hypnotic atmosphere as they lose themselves in one another. The windows of Paige’s Jeep fog up from the heat building between them, the condensation on the glass becoming a blur of the world outside, leaving only the two of them in their own space, their own universe. The world beyond the car doesn’t matter anymore.

For hours, they drift in and out of each other’s embrace, neither one of them paying attention to time. The soft, steady rhythm of the music plays on as they explore every inch of the moment, every whisper and touch, the sensations of being so close to each other for the first time pulling them deeper.

The hours slip by unnoticed, the tension between them never quite breaking, just ebbing and flowing with each kiss, each gentle caress as they explore one another completely.

…

The air in the car is sticky with the aftermath of what just transpired, the faint sound of Steve Lacy finally being turned off as Paige sits back in the driver’s seat, her lips curling into a smirk as she glances over at Azzi, who’s adjusting her clothes, her body language still completely relaxed from their time in the backseat. Paige lets out a slow breath, clearly pleased with herself.

“So…” Paige begins, her voice low and teasing. “How was that?”

Azzi, still catching her breath, looks at her with a knowing grin. “You tell me.” Her tone is just as confident now, the playful challenge in her eyes matching the sharpness of her words. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say ‘fuck’ that many times before.”

Paige chuckles, her smirk widening. “I didn’t know you could scream that loud,” she says, her voice dripping with mischief.

Azzi rolls her eyes, unbothered by the teasing, though a faint blush creeps up her neck. She doesn’t say anything back, the silence settling between them in a comfortable way.

But when Azzi looks back at Paige she finds the blonde looking at her the same way she was before—undeniably intense, eyes filled with that same hunger as if they didn’t just go for hours. It’s the same gaze that got Azzi in the back seat in the first place.

Azzi arches an eyebrow, lips curving into a small, knowing smile. “You can’t look at me like that all the time now,” she says, her voice teasing yet laced with a hint of warning.

Paige just grins, her eyes never leaving Azzi’s. “I’ll try my best,” she replies, her voice low but full of promise. As she says this, she reaches over to fasten Azzi’s seatbelt, her fingers brushing lightly against her exposed skin. As the belt clicks into place, Paige leans in and presses a lingering, soft kiss to Azzi’s lips before she fastens her own seatbelt.

The car pulls out of the spot, the engine humming softly as they start the drive back to Azzi’s place.

[suzukiblu]

Day five of February’s second weekly WIP behind the cut; “mistaken identities and interdimensional refugees”. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Ugh, he is being such a fucking downer right now. In his own head, even, for fuck's sake. Just because, like, he's never really felt like he fit in with Clark's family and feels even less like he does since their stupid fucking reality rebooted and now maybe their stupid fucking reality is dead and might've taken everyone who he remembers ever knowing whether they remember him at all or not with it and now he'll really never, ever get to go home again and–

Kon stops thinking about that shit. Not actually fixing the problem, you realize, Cassie would say. It’s just catastrophizing until you have all the intel, Tim would say. 

We found you once, we'll find you again, Bart would say. 

Or, like, something totally stupid and ridiculous about nothing important so Kon could pretend to be a mentally stable person for just another five minutes. Whichever. 

He doesn't know what he's gonna do if they can't find each other again. If they're not there to be found. Aside from, like, continue to interdimensionally babysit the ten year-old version of a guy who doesn't even particularly care that he's alive, much less that they're both wearing the same house crest. Like–that, yeah. And only that until they find the local Clark, either way. 

Fuck, this is the worst interdimensional bullshit to bullshit since fucking Gemworld. 

Kon doesn’t think about how long it took him to get the fuck off fucking Gemworld. 

( doesn’t wonder if his reality’s Jon is out there somewhere not thinking about how long it took him to get the fuck out of the fucking volcano. )

Jon really does keep up the excited rambling the whole way out of Gotham, which Kon still cannot actually process as being a thing and still has no idea how he feels about. Just–just the way the kid’s looking at him is . . . 

Literally no one has ever looked at him the way this kid is looking at him right now, especially not any version of Jon Kent. 

He just . . . he doesn’t know what the fuck to think about it. 

“We’ll be arriving at the manor shortly, Mr. Kent,” Alfred finally interrupts as a smooth interjection when Jon’s pausing to take a breath and Kon is panicking about whether or not he’s supposed to be saying anything to the kid or what. Kon is very, very fucking grateful for said interruption and leans forward in his seat to peer ahead through the windshield. Not that he didn’t already know where they were, he’s just kinda curious about what may or may not look different in this reality’s version of the neighborhood. Like, he doesn’t know, maybe–

Wait. He does know where they are. And Alfred just said–

“Wait, you’re actually taking us to the manor?” Kon asks incredulously. 

“It would appear so, Mr. Kent,” Alfred says, raising an eyebrow at him in the rearview mirror. “I do recall saying that I was.” 

“Yeah, in front of Rita!” Kon protests. “We didn’t actually think you were gonna take us to the actual manor! What the hell, man?!” 

“Oh is Batman gonna just kill us?” Jon asks, half-covering his face with his hands with a freaked-out expression. “Are we getting killed and chucked off the ledge in the Batcave and like they’ll literally never even find our bodies?” 

“That seems a rather inhospitable welcome, young Mr. Kent,” Alfred replies wryly. “I intended to make tea, personally. Perhaps a late supper, under the circumstances.” 

Yeah, they are definitely never finding their bodies. 

[sunboki]

— KEEP IT BUSINESS. a Lee Minho fiction

Lee Minho x f. reader

TROPE. best friends to lovers, coworkers! au, first kiss? au (hehe), domestic/soft minho, fluff

WARNINGS. cursing, making-out, inexperienced kissing, annoying coworkers

WORD COUNT. 6.9k words

AUG'S NOTES. so glad to have finally completed this!! it’s been rotting in my drafts for weeks and i just had to write a happy ending for these two grandparents 🫶🏼

PLAYLIST.

SYNOPSIS. Life can be a mess, and with you and Minho as the only two singles in your office building, an impertinent Valentine’s day leaves no choice but to make a pact.

or alternatively :

If we’re still single by twenty-five, we date each other.

Four years.

It’s been four years since you first met Lee Minho, working with him at the same company, becoming the best of friends. And yet, the same dread lay specially reserved for the same season.

The season of love, or, to most people, Valentine’s day.

.

.

.

Alarm set for 6:30AM. Work from 8:30AM to 4PM. Every day of the week, every year.

Initially, the experience was relatively enjoyable. It paid well, wasn’t too harsh on hours, and other coworkers minded their own business (at least in your case) without being a pain.

Then the loneliness set in.

It was subtle at first, a tiny pang in your heart when you returned home to a dark, cold apartment while others would be greeted by a pet, a loved one.

So when Lee Minho, a new member of the company assigned as your apprentice came along, you tend to think meeting him was, in a weird, spontaneous manner, meant to be.

And four years later, when he had grown from that apprentice-ship and became established as an employee, you still hold onto that “meant to be” philosophy.

Busied chatter fills the downstairs cafe, familiar faces alike brimming with conversation, breath coffee-stained.

Peering across the various assortment of tables, you spot him, two identical cups in each hand, wearing that bemused expression as usual.

At this point, Minho has memorized your order by heart, arriving early after his daily stop by the nearby animal shelter (whose manager knew by heart). Most morning’s you’d await a picture of the newest addition to the feline section, a photo he proudly shows off like his own trophy.

You’re genuinely surprised his residence isn’t a constantly growing cat-kingdom.

“Looking forward to it?”

Brows furrowing, you sidle to his right and dish the warm beverage into your grasp.

“Looking forward to wha— wait wait don’t say it. I want to pretend it doesn’t exist.” Hurriedly waving your hands, Minho cracks a grin.

The cursed word in question being: Valentine’s day.

You can’t say you hate it. It never did anything to you, nor did it leave you heartbroken. To put it simply, the office over the first few weeks of February was a close-resembling spinoff to Singles Inferno except, much spicier and way too inappropriate in broad daylight.

Meaning, for the past five years (four joined by Minho), merely mentioning said season of love urges impending dread and deep frowns.

“All I’m gonna say is I would not want to be a doctor over Valentines,” You wince, sipping the warm drink with a squeamish face.

Minho sighs vehemently, propping an elbow against the computer cart behind him.

“I bet you could witness more vibrators in that hospital than in an Adam and Eve,” He grumbles, watchful eyes surveying the daily crowd occupying tables and chairs in the building’s downstairs café.

Slamming a fist to your chest to correct your breathing, your eyes practically bulge from your skull, evidently caught of guard.

Leave it to Minho to make you suffocate before your shift even begins.

8am is prime time for socialization—otherwise before Mrs. Song decides to unleash her wrath on newbies. She has good intentions, sure, but let’s just say most anyone was petrified upon first meeting her.

Luckily, your department with Hyeongmi, Minho, and Felix was secluded on the far side of the building, leaving you out of the woman’s hair, free to work as you please.

Yet, Mrs. Song wasn’t the problem, not when it came down to the month of February.

Your phone’s alarm signaling to start moving momentarily wards off the thought, and either of you begin toward the elevator, flat expressions describing the sinking feeling better than words.

Back at it, again.

Because by your lunch break, you can’t fathom entering the cafeteria, not if it costs you your life.

Everywhere you look someone is making out, confessing their love, or, worst you’ve seen it all day, genuinely fucking in the bathrooms.

Perhaps you’d send Minho a text you’re making an escape by eating in the office, invite him up for some solace.

Except, it seems he had the same idea.

Scrambling through the door, you enter at the same time, heaving sighs of exasperation upon securing much needed privacy.

Making prolonged eye contact, your thoughts come spilling out.

“If I witness another make-out in the stairwell I’m ending it all.”

“Boxes of chocolates are officially ruined for me now.”

Four years and it never gets old. Same old painful memories, same old excitement for the day to come and go. And it’s not like you hate the holiday itself, you two just.. heavily dislike the immense bucketloads of PDA and office hookups that come along with it.

Not-so-gracefully flopping down onto your chairs, you practically shovel food down, gladly accepting the few rolls of gimbap Minho places onto your plate.

Customary sharing. You give him some of your food, he gives you some of his.

In those brief minutes of silence do you get the opportunity to fully comprehend your own thoughts, prior to Minho clearing his throat.

“Drinks at my place?”

Your grown loudly in agreement.

Minho : Okay, I’m leaving, follow me in thirty minutes

Glancing up, you watch your counterpart lift his brows your way and call out his departure, sifting through the doorway, cross body bag thumping against jeans.

Hyeongmi was downstairs, which, as awful as it sounded, was great not having to endure her nosiness.

This was how you stayed unbothered. He’d leave, and thirty minutes later you would too in order to (for now) avoid Mrs. Song (and Hyeongmi’s) pestering.

It couldn’t have taken the clock longer to reach 4:30PM. So by the time the beloved minute hand struck 4:29 you practically lurched from your seat, almost tasting sweet freedom before a face showed up right before you slipped through the exit.

Hyeongmi’s face.

What she’s talking about you can’t seem to understand, mind trained on escaping and escaping alone.

“C’mon now, you two are the only two in this building without a date. It’s been four years, Y/n! You need to let loose!” Hyeongmi emphasizes, dizzying your head the longer she shakes your shoulders.

“You do realize everyone has the hots for him but that he only hangs out with you, right? I’m telling you, it’s a sign—“

“Sorry Hyeongmi, I really have to go-“

Fastening your bag tigher across your body, you make a mad-dash as far away as possible, pretending to ignore the “use protection!” she shouted before the crisp evening breeze nipped your nose.

Use protection my butt, you grovel, ushering the scarf further above your chin as if to secure as much warmth possible.

She doesn’t know anything, not about how you took him under your wing as your apprentice the first year he joined, not about how much Minho loves cats, or how the keychain on that crossbody bag of his is a keychain you bought for him.

Simply placing it, she’s a person lead by the assumptions of others and adopting them as her own.

It irritates you.

Veering to your right, you thank his decision to house nearby, arriving at the foot of his porch after a mere ten-minute walk.

Delivering a few knocks on the townhome’s doorway, you note the paint chipping, colorful exterior worn from the sun’s rays.

Everything from the few cracks in the sidewalk to the relatively invisible stain of coffee on his doorknob lay memorized by frequency—his property second nature to you.

“Never have I hated being single this much,” You whine, slumping onto his couch after hurling your bag atop a hook in the foyer.

And despite the lack of response, you can tell Minho heard you. The faint, breathy chuckle enough evidence of his presence.

Perched on a chair he’d likely dragged from the kitchen, a feline companion occupies his lap, both comfortably relaxing on the patio, wine glass in hand.

Accordingly arranged on the countertop is another glass (you presume as yours), that you pour the vinegar-tinged substance into.

“I mean.” Slightly struggling to haul a neighboring chair to his side and simultaneously avoid splashing wine everywhere, you eventually find an equilibrium.

“It’s not like I asked to be single, I’m just too busy to consider a relationship, y’know?”

Minho absentmindedly hums, urging you to take a much-needed sip of the orchid-colored liquid.

Finally, you sigh out the last of your evening’s thoughts.

“..Hyeongmi caught me on the way out.”

Nor does this occasion need a reply either, the man’s suppressed giggle suitable enough.

“Mm.. I’ve got an idea.”

Carefully allowing the elongated glass to clink atop a translucent table, you cross and uncross your legs, welcoming the rustle of life around you into your eardrums, easing the cluttered space of your brain.

“Shoot.”

He clicks his tongue, gaze flitting to the emerging moon overhead.

“If we’re still single by twenty-five, we date each other.“

Making a surprised sound to yourself, you break into unadulterated laughter, about to call him hilarious before taking into account this is Minho you’re referring to, and the likelihood he’s joking on any matter is unlikely.

Sure it sounds cliché, but it’s Minho, why not?

…And perhaps that decision was made with a few glasses of wine in play.

“I’m in.” You grin, returning his outstretched hand by bumping your glasses before downing the remaining gulp, cheeks aglow, alcohol ridding your breath a distasteful stench.

Tipsy. Minho is charming normally, but especially when he’s tipsy.

He’s got this way of speaking that could get any unsuspecting girl reaching to unzip his pants in a second, sultry, half-lidded eyes drinking the person in front of him, talking like he has sugar lining his lips.

When Minho is tipsy, he’s tempting. You didn’t need four years to teach you that.

That, and the spare pajama set folded in his top drawer reserved solely for you on nights like this—too gone to go home.

Although, as you rise to your feet and head to the bathroom, pulling said silk pajama shirt over your head, Hyeongmi’s words reverberate again.

You do realize everyone has the hots for him but that he only hangs out with you, right?

Hm. Minho was always a recluse though. And with your history, obviously he’d have some liking for you.

It’s been four years, Y/n! You need to let loose!

Turning to stare at yourself in the mirror, you sulk, head hanging low.

What if you did something tonight? Something risky, something testing the limits this friendship borderlines. You’re both drunk, likely willing.

Then again, does Minho want this too? Did he ever intend to “let loose”?

Anxiety plagues you, hurriedly scurrying your pants over your legs and exiting to find Minho still seated in the same spot, appearing all the more tempting without having to do a thing.

You blame the alcohol.

Stamping forward as if you prepared a speech, you stop just behind his chair, mustering any ounce of liquid courage manageable.

“Minho.”

He grunts.

“You’re really pretty.”

Let loose. This is letting loose when it comes to Minho.

What, you thought you were gonna fuck? Yeah, that’s a funny one.

Winding himself around to see you, his lips wind into a sweet smile, urging you closer with a mere look before he reaches forward and taps your nose, dark eyes roaming your face.

“I’ve always thought you were pretty too.”

And perhaps, caught in a trance from his glittering stare, something did happen those four years you’ve been together after all.

You blame the alcohol.

The impulsive part about this “date at twenty-five” pact you had forgotten to consider was the fact both of you were twenty-four, meaning in less than a year whatever plan Lee Minho had stirred up after plenty glasses of wine would oil it’s gears into motion.

Thankfully Valentines comes and goes, and Summer creeps dangerously close, the longer hours of daylight and lingering sunshine enough to make every work-day feel extra laborious.

First day of summer, Minho texts you, asking if you want to join him on a walk.

Mind you, it’s 10AM in the morning, an hour you couldn’t fathom waking up at on the first day of summer.

You groan and flop back down, shutting off your phone and slamming the pillow over your head in a pitiful attempt at falling back asleep.

Only for your doorbell to ring twenty minutes later.

Over.

And over.

And over.

The urge to screech compels your barely-awake form, legs wobbling out of bed to feebly reach the doorway in a sleep-ridden haze.

Of course, lo and behold, Minho lies responsible, clad in running shoes, a pair of shorts, and a black nike zip-up.

He’s evidently pleased—whether from how disheveled you appear—or that he actually got you out of bed in the first place by the lingering smile tugging at his lips.

You hate to say it, but he’s annoyingly attractive, there’s no denying.

“Caught you at a bad time, hm?” He tips his head down to make eye-contact, peering through wild hair and lidded eyes at your half-alive self.

All you can manage out is a minuscule grunt, about to close the door before Minho jars his hand in, inviting himself inside much to your dismay.

Like instinct, he heads straight to your closet, surveying the chaos his insistent door-bell ringing caused before fetching a sweatshirt to pull over your head and a pair of socks from your drawer.

Though, as you wake up a tad bit more, you hurriedly keep him from putting your socks on for you as he bends down, shying away with an irritated whine.

“If this is what dating you is like I’m calling off the pact,” You mumble, stomping toward the door with Minho pushing you forwards without chance of escape.

He giggles, seeming to contain utmost glee witnessing your temper tantrum.

“Oh trust me sweetheart, the fun never ends.”

He’s hopeless too, apparently.

Lucky for you, your friend’s visits occurred sporadically, meaning the 10AM wake up calls weren’t a daily routine of headaches.

In contrast, summer passed by in a flash, and you were shoved head-first into a packed schedule for a second time as the autumn leaves shriveled into crisp browns and oranges.

Autumn was always welcomed. It meant the chilling cold was approaching, yes, but it also signified apple cider being added to the downstairs café menu and—on those especially chilly mornings—bundling your neck in the scarf Minho bought you last christmas.

As for him, he frequents pointed shoes and straight-legged pants, his fudge-colored hair perfectly complimented by pumpkin scented fragrances and dusky red backdrops.

Brisk mornings call for thinking. And as you walk, you come to the indefinite conclusion apple cider fits Minho. Sweet, but not saccharine. Warm to the touch, reminiscent with a charming aftertaste. A silhouette that comes and goes as it pleases, leaving soon enough for you to crave it back again.

Regarding summer, he was sort of like a beach day. A vacation in the midst of roaring deadlines, the comfortable lull of waves buzzing your mind into a hazy, salty escapade.

Although as December plucks each oak of its splendor, a call on Sunday morning truly marks the season of winter.

“..Y/n?” Minho murmurs, his voice groggy, hoarse. You make a sound of acknowledgment in response.

“I think I’m sick, can you drop off some meds at the door?”

Pressing your phone close to your ear, you debate on your desire to scold him, remind him each time he gets a winter cold he should dress warmer.

Of course, your lips stay shut (just like they always have for the past few years), and you reply with a “Be there soon, hang tight” before ending the call and gathering your belongings.

At the supermarket you check out seaweed soup, multivitamins, and allergy relief—things of which you hope will alleviate some of his symptoms.

Eternally grateful for the spare key you’d been given a while back, you enter the home, calling his name until an exasperated sign of life was heard (more like coughed) from the bedroom.

Inside lay Minho, a distressing array of tissues scattered in all directions, clustered beyond belief. His nose is soured pink from incessant stuffiness, lips cracked and dry. Dark circles sag beneath tired eyes, worn disposition evidence of his condition.

Quick on your feet, you scour the bathroom for a thermometer, the device’s loud beep signifying a blaring fever as you hover by his bedside.

Watching the bowl of instant soup spin aimless circles in the microwave, Minho’s call knocks you out of your daydream, worriedly padding to where he lays.

“Come here.”

You oblige, arriving to his right, about to ask the matter until his fingers link with your own, bringing the back of your hand to his jaw, resting there.

If you had been warm before, an entirely new definition to sweating has been reached at this point.

“You’re warm,” He whispers, rubbing his face against your hand like a needy cat wanting attention.

How unfair a human can be this round.

Practically bounding from the inside, you use the excuse of the microwave beeping to race off, hurriedly disappearing into the kitchen while remaining ignorant to the way Minho’s gaze follows you.

Returning with a soup platter meticulously carried between your tight grip, you sigh with relief upon sitting the steaming concoction down. Oh so slowly, a frown grows at your face upon noticing the expectant stare boring into your head.

“Yes?”

He juts out his bottom lip like a kicked puppy from your nonplussed tone, nudging the covers over himself till only those calculating eyes peek out.

“I’m not feeding you.”

Minho all but whimpers, and you suppress the urge to smother him with a pillow right then and there, hating how easily he sends goosebumps prickling the back of your neck, heat scalding your ears.

“No.”

“Y/n.”

You quite literally feel like the cruelest person in existence because why is he looking at you with that face, saying your name like that.

Grumbling beneath your breath, you begrudgingly collect a spoonful, bringing the utensil to his already pursed lips.

Spoonful by spoonful do you feed him as if he’s a dependent toddler, his satisfied hums earning a stern glare in return.

Only when he finishes eating do you get up, reprimanding him on taking his meds without much bite to your words.

“And don’t take too many of these, alright? If it gets really bad, call me again. Otherwise, try getting sleep.”

“Yes ma’am.”

And of course he has to be endearing.

Such a pain.

You’ll stop by tomorrow.

If Minho was the apple cider in autumn and beach days in the summer, he’s the prettiest of snowflakes in the midst of winter.

Memorable, fleeting. Melting in your touch.

The annual Christmas party the company hosts steadily approaches, your coworkers ringing your phone insistently with noticeable anticipation.

Though just like autumns chill, December soars past idly, reigning in a new year and a new digit added to twenty when asked your age.

Your winter premise only heightened the anxiety compiling in your gut, a feeling you hadn’t recognized until the following day—the first day back to work in January—dawned.

January 1st’s introduction means you’re both officially twenty-five, and you’re not sure if it’s the fact Minho hasn’t texted you yet or the valentines pact in itself setting you on edge.

What would it be like to date Minho? Would he kiss you, the same way male leads in K-dramas did? Hold you as you sleep, wish you goodbye with a kiss to your cheek?

The mere thought sends rivets of electricity blazing your fingertips, feeling like an utter fool for imagining such scenarios.

Now you’ve haunted yourself for worse, leaving only dread in tow.

Arriving at the office the first day back, you attempt at making yourself look as collected as possible, definitely not bothered.

Worse, the root of your troubles walks in unbothered as you’ve been trying to do for the past few hours, the room working in deplorable silence before a note wedges itself behind your keyboard, Minho slipping past in its wake.

It takes all your will-power to ignore the crumpled piece of paper as best as possible, your index itching to unravel whatever lay inside.

Noon is when you finally give in, lungs failing to produce air upon reading the contents, practically choking on nothing.

Come over to my place after work.

What is this, his way of declaring your pact officially in action? What if he calls it off, saying it was only a joke glasses of wine granted?

As Hyeongmi said before, everyone has the hots for him, so why don’t you? Why does the thought of him calling it off put you on edge?

Or maybe you do. Maybe you do have feelings for—

Woah. Stop there.

Luckily, your internal chess match went unnoticed, leaving only the buzzing of your ears and the ticking of the clock loud.

A certain fondness sat between either of you from the start, since becoming acquainted you’ve instantly clicked—sly remarks and playful teasing merely one more thing keeping you alive (minus coffee).

So when something crossing the border between friends and lovers arose, a sort of nervousness bubbled in your gut.

Minho was a shoulder to cry on for you, but was it like that?

You could rely and depend on each other whenever, but could those feelings ever turn into love?

Of course they could, and they likely would’ve if it weren’t for either of you being so work-oriented—making you even more worried.

Although, you can’t simply flee. You’re an adult.

..And Minho will find you in a heartbeat if you decide to run.

Never had you been hesitant to leave office until now, and trodding one foot in front of the other causes your legs to turn into jelly.

Minho probably isn’t this nervous. He’s probably in a great mood, treating the occasion like it’s just another casual day.

Never before was it difficult, whether difficult is referred to as placing a key in a doorway or walking inside, everything seems so.. eminent.

Like when you walk through this door, an entirely new side of Minho will show face. A romantic side of Minho.

Yet, there’s no rose petals lining the hallway, nor scented candles scattered here and there.

What is there to expect with dating in your twenties anyway?

Plus, Minho’s well, Minho. If he wanted to, he likely would’ve flat-out asked already.

Something you’re surprised about, however, is the triangular string decor swooping from the ceiling, the party hats by the sink, a single birthday candle placed in the center of a cupcake. Simple, perfect.

Although, the perfect factor came with the man responsible, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, bracing himself on the countertop with a particular glow in his irises—whether it be from the lit candle you aren’t sure—that sets your stomach into a garden of butterflies.

A surprise party. He threw you a surprise birthday party.

And it’s then as enter the kitchen, brain barely recognizing each advance forward, you realize it.

You really, really want to date him.

And you really, really don’t want to screw this up.

Staring at each other, you rise up on your toes to place a careful, feather-light peck on the smooth, flushed skin of his cheek.

Slowly, he turns his head, a conniving smirk revealing the outline of his teeth whilst investigating your breathlessness.

“Someone’s daring,” He mumured, cocking a brow amusedly.

You poke his side, groaning that he shouldn’t look too far into it before he nudges you, your frown returned with a subtle nod—directed at the forgotten cupcake.

“Well you already gave me a kiss, so wish for something else.”

“Choke,” You respond, but there’s still no bite to it. Some things never change.

Minho gently holds your hair back for you, allowing you to lean over and blow out the candle. No bite.

Your wish?

Let Minho and I go well. I like us.

Every bit of it was the truth.

Hopefully this wish of yours can come true.

Maybe.

Seated on the living room floor do you finally relax, your shoulders slumping down after hours of monstrous tension. Seems you’d forgotten he was your best friend before anything else.

“So.. how does this work?”

‘Work’ as in, the dating deadline’s here, what’s next?

He purses his lips—a habit of his—blinking rapidly.

“Like friends? Except we get the kissing and sex pass in between, right?”

You smack his shoulder. He smiles, childishly extending his pinky out to you.

Linking yours, you press the pad of your thumb against his. An unspoken gesture.

“Together?”

Through thick and thin. Your way, as it always was, always had been.

He has stars in his tawny-globes for eyes.

“Together.”

Minho’s hands are warm in the midst of frigid temperatures.

Spring isn’t too far off, but the bitter winds remain ceaseless and unrelenting, whipping your hair every which way, scattering a plethora of goosebumps along your skin.

Never had you held hands like this with someone before, nonetheless Minho, and yet, a connection lies inside the initial awkwardness. The silent assurance, whether it’s his thumb smoothing your palm or occasional squeezes, telling you he understands, that you’re not alone, or how he patiently waited by the door the entire time you were getting ready, claiming he didn’t want to dirty your place with his shoes.

It’s sort of revitalizing. Curious and inquisitive in his lingering touches, additional notes—reminders on your coffee cup, questions asking whether you want to stay over afterward, if he can give you a kiss on the cheek.

One in particular you recall:

I miss you. Scribbled in bleeding ink.

Your introduction as lovers had been a field day of trials and questions for the two of you, though when it came down to the public’s knowledge, you began debating on the “curiosity killed the cat” theory.

This morning, catching a glimpse of the company’s logo in the distance, you assign yourself as the cat. Too interested, now suffering the consequences.

Granted, you wouldn’t take back moving to relationship status, but it was a lot easier to brush off comments if you were Minho.

Hyeongmi being the main one responsible for said comments.

Morning passed by seamlessly, prioritizing work above all else, too busy typing away to for any interruptions.

..Until a midday conference.

Seated right next to each other, his fingers slowly thread with yours beneath the table, sending the man a perplexed (and slightly nervous) expression in response.

More so, the comforting casualness caused you to barely recognize Mrs. Song reaching below to fetch her fallen pen, a gasp of surprise stilling the conversation at her realization.

“Are you- Are you two holding—?”

Panicked, you smack his hand away, stomach plummeting.

Not expecting him to stubbornly grab your hand again, a miniature frown draws across his perfectly rose lips.

Pouting.

Lee Minho is pouting because you’re not letting him hold your hand.

Unbelievable.

If the situation could escalate further, the she-devil herself (Hyeongmi) throws her head down to spare a glimpse, allowing you to fully accept your demise. A demise that, one way or another, needed to happen.

This was simply an early death.

“You’re kidding! No way you guys are a thing?” The eccentric girl mouths the last words, eyebrows drawn to her hairline.

And just like that, your relationship with Minho ventured out of your pocket and into a brand new wilderness.

“So…what’s it like living everybody’s dream?”

Headed to the bathroom, Hyeongmi stops you, leaned over the mirror, carefully inspecting her plum-colored lipstick.

“What?” You pique, confusedly glancing between her and the empty stall you’re trying to nonchalantly slip into.

“I mean, the entire company’s talking about it. Tell me, are you guys actually official? Or is this all just for the attention? No offense, but-“

“I...”

Want to punch you in the face.

You keep it to yourself.

“I’m gonna go.”

Synonymously, both your bladder and your appetite completely disappeared.

Although, she doesn’t leave you alone.

You’re frantically searching for excuse after excuse, speed-walking and taking the stairs any chance available.

Unfortunately for you, she’s everywhere. At some point you’re certain a tracking device is hidden somewhere on your clothes.

Almost there. From silently pleading help with your eyes to legitimately hiding in your workplace, today couldn’t have been more of a joke.

Or so you thought.

“Y/n?”

“Yes, Hyeongmi?”

“With Minho,” She nervously fiddles with her earrings. “You don’t have to tell me but.. how’s the bedroom?”

Apparently, it can go lower.

Before you can respond to her shamelessness, a grip fastens on your shoulders, cologne distinct enough you can tell exactly who it is.

Your beach day.

“Hyeongmi, you do realize that’s rude, yeah? Let’s not cross boundaries we shouldn’t cross, got it?”

All the while Minho smiles, this cloying, “I dare you” sort of attitude no one can argue with.

Averting her attention, she speedily raises up, humorlessly laughing off the tension while excusing herself from the room.

“You okay?” He whispers, breath ghosting over the shell of your ear, pressing a chaste kiss there.

Yeah, there’s no getting used to this.

“Yep,” You say, though there isn’t much sincerity it.

He knows.

“Wait for me here, let’s walk home together.”

Ah. You want to kiss him.

“Minho.”

He turns on his heel.

Kiss me.

You’re holding his collar now, the option on the tip of your tongue, his lips a hairbreadth from yours.

Close, closer.

No. Not yet.

Either way, what do you know about kissing? What if you screw up?

Not yet.

“..Okay.”

Your gaze flits down to his lips if only for a second. A small, cheeky grin adorning his face as he follows your movements.

It’s hard to focus when he leaves, because all you can think about is the possibilities. What if you had kissed him? Would he have kissed you back?

By the way looked at you, the logical response would be: yes. Most people don’t stare at someone like that without the intent to kiss them, right?

Though somehow, you can’t help but feel unprepared, a complete novice in this battlefield of love.

Where Minho took you afterward was a mystery, merely happy to be away from the confines of your desk—letting his eager hand guide you wherever he pleased.

Shielded beneath the shade of two trees, your destination, Yeouido Park, is a spectacle during the transition period of winter to spring. You’d oftentimes spend hours here, basking in the relief a break grants. A spectacle where you two first truly met.

“Alright, be honest with me.”

He spins you around till you’re face to face, carefully analyzing your facial expression.

“Are you really okay? After Hyeongmi said that, I couldn’t stop thinking..”

Oh. That careful crease in his eyebrows, sympathetic.

He’s breaking your heart.

You realize now why everyone falls in love with him.

“Of me?”

The words come out involuntarily, a step forward in the newness, paving light through the darkened abyss.

“Yeah..” He says, a little winded while doing so.

Minho cares, he always had, yet, it’s your first time hearing it aloud.

“Y/n.”

Blinking yourself back into reality, your face grows warm, not intending to deliberately space out right in front of him.

He leans forward, causing you to shrink back into your skin as a kiss is planted right atop your nose, the man wearing a satisfied grin.

“Hey- You can’t- It’s not Valentines yet—“

“And why would I wait until Valentine’s day?”

Another deeper red burns your cheeks, and you scorn the way he gets under your skin—a way that makes every insult dissolve like powder on your tongue.

He notices, but decides not to prod further, lightly bumping your hip with his own as a signal to follow.

“Tomorrow is the day, y’know,” You mumble, kicking rocks with the tip of your shoe.

“Are we gonna turn into those couples?” He asks, pretentiously puckering his lips, eyes squinted shut.

You burst out laughing.

“I would break up with you first, sorry Minho.” Said puckered lips transform into a playful scowl.

“What? No treat for valentines?”

Blinking babydoll eyes up at you, you wrinkle your nose, coming to recognize what “treat” he was implying.

Earlier you would’ve kissed instantly, but an inkling of stubbornness kept you from giving into him this time.

Sneaking behind you, he ducks down, voice low enough for only your ears to hear.

“Didn’t seem you were too against it earlier.”

And with that, he races off, entirely too happy with himself and not likely to live down your reaction. Because you can’t disagree.

Since when were Lee Minho’s lips so kissable?

Knock.

Knock.

Your attention strays from the mirror at the sound, wondering if it was simply a figment of your imagination only for the sound to ensue.

Knock. Knock.

Who would be at your door at this hour in the middle of the week?

There’s a name on your tongue, but you don’t contemplate any longer, tiptoeing to the doorway to peer through the peephole.

And the sight before you makes every ounce of suspicion worthwhile.

Minho, holding a bouquet of roses and things unknown behind his back, is reciting.

He’s staring at his shoes, bouncing back and forth on his heels nervously.

Lee Minho is nervous.

Wanting just to stand there and watch him rehearse, you finally give in after a third knock scares you out of your wits—hesitantly opening the door and trying to placate the most surprised expression possible.

His eyes round as saucers, you literally watch the gears in his head turn in real time, extending the flowers out to you.

“Happy valentines. These are uh, for you.”

And his ears are red.

You’re going to implode from how cute this is.

Attempting to stave down the alarming amount of happiness you’re experiencing, you hold the flowers in one hand, awaiting whatever lie behind his back.

Although, as the outline of a box of chocolates appears, so does… a shampoo bottle.

What.

Bathing in a long silence, you can’t help but wonder you’re genuinely hallucinating. Glancing from his face to the literal shampoo in hand, he mirrors you, confused for a reason you’re trying to figure out as well.

“Is that… a shampoo bottle?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because you were running low the last time I came here.”

…

You’ve never received a valentine before, but this automatically took the cake.

Is it possible to fall in love after you’re given a shampoo bottle as a gift on valentines? Apparently so.

Nonetheless, work flashed past, barely able to register a thing between the many congratulations you received and the absence of Hyeongmi (assumed to be due to the brown-haired charmer beside you).

For now, you savor the freedom of the day, finally able to escape the pains of before and wallow in a new kind of excitement. Love.

Love delivered by Minho himself in the form of mini scraps he’s folded into hearts, slipping heart after heart onto your desk at any opportunity to the point you bump his leg beneath the table in warning.

He cheekily smirks in return, stupidly innocent face scheming with malice.

He’s getting an absolute kick out of this, and you hate to admit you enjoy it just as much.

As usual, you wait behind for him to catch up on your daily commute home—an activity you did long before any romantic feelings became involved.

That’s it. Minho’s pinpoint of romance.

Shampoo bottle, walks home, extra coffee, notes.

Minho doesn’t openly express his love, not unless he feels either adventurous or obligated. Instead, he studies. Your habits, the things you enjoy, your actions, preferences. That particular coffee order you liked, how you had ran out of shampoo.

Oh how you love him.

Though, rounding the sidewalk to your place, Minho grabs ahold of your wrist. In response, as soon as you turn your head, you’re mere centimeters from his face, simply standing there, proximity willing either of you not to move.

Initial words dying out, he slightly edges to the side, cocked in a way that has your mind racing.

Nose, cheek, but never lips.

No.

Your hands act before any other part of you, blocking his lips from yours.

“We-“

The look he’s giving you, shock.

You feel a hundred degrees hotter.

“We need to go inside,” You excuse yourself fast, the man tailing behind, grip still loosely attached to your wrist.

Quickly shutting the door behind you, it’s an immediate embarrassment flooding your frame that allows you to speak, words bursting outward in an uncontrollable cacophony.

“Minho I’m so sorry I have no idea what I was doing, I shouldn’t have done that, it was a stupid idea. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything-“

“Hey, slow down. I’m not going anywhere.”

His tone serves as the much needed breeze fanning your face, cooling you down enough to articulate sentences properly.

“I’m sorry, we’ve just never kissed on the lips and I feel like I’m gonna be horrible and kill the mood. This is stupid, I know, just.. bear with me please?”

His eyebrows furrow, forming together the equation piece by piece.

“You’ve.. You’ve never had your first kis—?”

You hush him furiously, slumping onto the couch dejectedly.

Yet, Minho doesn’t laugh nor pick fun regardless of how hilariously idiotic the occasion is. He’s quiet, concerned almost.

You add that to your long list of things you love about him.

Inhaling gradually, your focus flits to the window, collecting yourself, easing the frantic rush-hour traffic rampaging in your skull.

If you were one of those paper hearts he made, he’s pulling apart each careful fold in this very moment. Unraveling the layers till your bare self is exposed in all its anxiousness.

“I hate it. It feels like a part of that teenage youth everyone talks about is something I’ll never get to experience. I was too busy caring about school, and now I feel like I’ve missed out.”

Soaking in a quietness, you jump when he places a hand over yours, softly tracing the skin of your knuckles, glossy as he watches, carving each perfect aspect of you into memory.

“Well you may not be seventeen, but you’re never too old to learn to kiss.”

One hand cupping your jaw to garner your attention, you’re met with a glass-like visage.

Gentle.

“And I can teach you how.”

It’s always been business, you’ve always been business. Which is why, now confronting what feels to be the highest peak in your love life, you’re left a completely blank canvas. No rules, no instructions.

It’s terrifying.

“Min- Minho, I really haven’t done this before.”

You hastily pique, scooting backward in the cushions.

Curse the shakiness of your voice.

“If you don’t want to do this, tell me. We won’t.”

You quickly shake your head.

No, you want this, you’ve wanted this too badly to back out now.

“Then let’s take it slow, okay?”

It’s horrifically awkward at first, a tiny peck, then a bit longer till your arms creep over his shoulders, his fingers once holding your jaw steady now resting on your neck.

Best word to describe it? Messy.

“Breathe through your nose.”

“Minho— I’m suffocating here—“

You sputter back, quite literally heaving for breath.

Yes, it was otherworldly kissing him, and he was an insanely good kisser, but did this really require your lungs to practically burst?

“Are you teaching me how to give a blowjob or kiss?”

His smile transforms mischievously, a sneering laugh slipping past. You already know he’ll make a sly comment.

Minho winks. “We’ll get to that later.”

“I lost my urge to date you. Bye.”

“Noooo Y/n~” He whines profusely, warm hold on your waist beckoning another kiss filled with hushed giggles and incessant jeers from either party—ensuing a halfway unbuttoned shirt and quite possibly the most greedy ten minutes known to man.

Out of breath, he pulls back from your stomach, the ticklish feather-light kisses planted there earning a stifled giggle from you while he blinks upward, seeming to be focused on something.

“Minho?” You question, ignorant to how unbelievably obsessed with you he is, more than ever in this moment.

From your damp, sweaty skin to the few hairs stuck to your forehead. Your swollen lips, the way you laugh, your stomach dipping with the action. He doubts he’ll ever get tired of this.

Reaching forward as if caught in a trance, he tenderly tucks a piece of hair behind your ear, voice barely audible upon pressing his forehead against yours.

And in the seclusion of your living room, tangled up together on the sofa, it’s just the two of you existing in this world.

“I hope you know I really meant it when I said I thought you were pretty too.”

Ah. He remembers. All that time ago.

Of course he does.

Kissing you for a time you can’t remember, you begin to wonder if that birthday wish of yours had came true after all.

Your feelings for Minho had always existed somewhere inside of you. Your head, your heart. A tiny inkling into something more, a could be. Two individuals wishing, waiting to make a move.

It seems the Valentines Pact sealed the deal.

sunboki, may 2022 ©

FIC TAGLIST. @gimmeurtmi @jisuperboard @porang-poranglinos @palindrome969 @stayceebs97 @inniescandy-01 @idklin0

[nuhuhwinniethepooh]

Valentine's Day

Tags : smut with slight plot, f!reader, non-con?, freaky satoru, reader is in a relationship with a non-sorcerer, basically has cheating implied but it's not cheating (I'm gonna defend reader with my life on this), unprotected sex (I cannot stress this enough but do not attempt, use protection), characters are in their mid 20's, lil' angst (if you squint), Non-con (nvm it's con, I change my mind), stomach bulge (it's subtle), plot twist in the end.

Minors please. You know the drill, out 🚪🚶🏻‍♀️👈🏼

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Gojo regrets his offer on lending an ear to you, tired of listening to every whine and complaints you make against your non-sorcerer boyfriend that you've been dating for 5 months; he really should've joined Suguru on his mission to eradicate all non-sorcerers, at least he'd have you all to himself then.

But what he regrets most is the fact that he didn't ask you out earlier than your current boyfriend, missing the chance to be called yours, instead that rat-faced guy- that can't treat you right- now has the label of being yours. But now you're telling Gojo that you suspect your boyfriend's cheating on you? He couldn't be more delighted listening to that. Maybe he doesn't really regret on his offer afterall.

"And guess what Satoru! I called him last night and I swear on my life that I heard a woman's voice on the line calling him back to bed before he cut the call on me!" You throw your arms up frustratedly, inches away from smacking Satoru's face as you plop down on the couch with a dejected sigh and a small frown, missing the glint in his eyes; you'd have missed the sight either way since he wears a blindfold.

"Why are you even with him then?"

Another heavy sigh from you makes Satoru sigh too, why couldn't you just break up with your current boyfriend and get with him instead? Satoru is way better in everything and did he mention that he's way better in everything? Yes, he did. What else do you want from him at this point? "You don't understand, I love him," you mumble, fiddling with your hands as you stare at the ceiling longingly. Unbeknownst to you Satoru did understand afterall he holds the same feelings you do; seething with jealousy again, he silently curses the very three words that poured out of your mouth that wasn't aimed towards him. He hates your boyfriend with a burning passion now, well more than he usually did.

"I love him," you whisper softly, leaving Satoru unsure on if you're convincing yourself of your love or announcing your love to the world; he'd prefer the former choice if it came down to it.

February 14th, 6 : 45 PM

Satoru rushes towards the bus stop as he looks down at his phone and your stagnant location, unmoving and unchanging for the past 2 hours, fearing for the worst of situation. Looking around hurriedly after arriving, his heart leaps with relief when he catches sight of your figure but it falls just as quickly as he notices your condition.

Your beautiful locks was now unkempt because of the wind, your skin peeking out of the sleeveless dress almost looked translucent with the chill settling in but what broke his heart was your expression, the look of a shattered heart set so deep in your eyes that you no longer looked like you anymore.

"You're gonna get sick at this rate," he sighs, throwing his coat over your shoulders. You look up at him with listless eyes, redness decorating every inch of it as you wipe your sore eyes again. "He cheated on me," you say quietly, shivering slightly as you finally come to your senses, pulling the coat a little tighter over you.

Helping you up on your feet, he pulls you close with an arm and gently rubs your back," Let's get you home," he mumbles softly- you slump under his hold, mindlessly moving your feet as he takes you back home.

7 : 23 PM

"Tell me everything from the start," he folds his arm across his chest with his blindfold off, satisfied as he watches you all bundled up on the couch. You take in a deep breathe, lips wobbling slightly as you pathetically hold back tears again; Satoru really needs to get rid of your boyfriend quickly.

"Well, I wanted to surprise him for valentines day so I stopped by his house," you take in a deep breathe, voice thick with emotions as your trembling hands pick on the blanket over you. "An- and when I entere-," you sputter, fresh new wave of tears pouring out of you as the memory floods in. Immediately rushing to your side on the couch, he pulls you in and shushes at you- baffled at how vulnerable you were at the moment, he watched you exorcise curses multiple times your size and strength without seeing you flinch even once but the fact that one non-sorcerer has you shaking in tears baffles him, thoroughly so.

You clench onto his shirt, looking up at his cerulean eyes with your own wet eyes and tear-stained cheeks." Satoru, help me," you whimper out pleadingly. "What?" Satoru breathes out, looking down at you from the squashing hold he has you under, "Help me forget," you sob and he mentally kicks himself for finding you so pretty even in this situation.

"Knock me out, use your cursed techniques. Do whatever you want just please hel-" he cuts you off, pressing his lips softly against yours- no longer able to hold his feelings back when you're practically begging him, all his morals practically thrown out of the window. Your breathe hitches in surprise when you feel his hand snaking up your head, tangling it in your hair and feels his tongue swiping against your lips for entrance; you pull away and he reluctantly allows you to do so, lips slightly parted as he looks at you guiltily.

"I'm sor-" this time you cut him off, pulling him in and crushing your lips against his- you needed to forget and he kissed you first...so that's a good sign isn't it? The feeling of heartbreak and want to forget completely over-powering the guilt of using Satoru for your own benefit; Satoru couldn't be happier though, the initial shock of being kissed was wearing off and being replaced by a primal urge, he could finally show you that he was so much better than your boyfriend. In more ways than one.

Hungrily kissing your soft lips, he paws at the blanket and pulls it off of you, eager to touch your skin- delighted when you allow him to do so, your own hands tangling in his hair. "Bedroom," you gasp hurriedly, pointing towards the direction and he immediately complies. Stumbling towards the bedroom, neither breaking the heated kiss as pieces of clothing gets discarded on the floor and fingers tug at everything and anything.

Reaching the room without breaking the kiss, Satoru tugs at your bra with a firm pull and rips it apart, earning him a small protest out of you," I'll replace that later," he mumbles in your lips, hands cupping your ass. Sloppily kissing your jaw and making his way down to your exposed chest; licking, sucking and rolling every inch of your skin possible, marking your body red and purple- he shuts the door behind him with his feet, reveling in the small sounds of pleasure gushing out of your mouth.

"Satoru, can't stand," you whine out when your legs gives out under you, arms wrapped weakly around his neck as he lifts you up and gently lays you down on the bed, shifting himself right in-between your legs and prying it open with little effort from his side when you try to shut it close. Hooking a finger at the edge of your lacy underwear, he pulls it down torturously slowly- mouth drying up at the sight of your cunt, wet and clenching onto nothing. "So pretty," he coos, holding your thighs apart with his hands, he leans down and inhales your scent, ignoring the way you squirmed underneath him. Gently parting your folds with his fingers and watching your slick coat your walls, he swallows thickly as he licks his lips.

"Wai-" you cry out, hands hurriedly grabbing onto the sheets when he sucks at your clit with no warning, gulping down your juice like a starved man," tastes s' good," he moans, sending vibrations through you; arching your back and grinding your hips against his face, your eyes roll back from the stimulation. Popping a long slender finger inside, he explores every inch; a wide grin stretching on his face when he grazes a spot and your hip bucks up, sucking his finger whole with a loud moan.

"That feel good?" He asks, lazily adding in another and abusing your weak spot. You nod your head, hands clasping over your mouth to hold back your moans as tears collect in your eyes again, spilling over the edges and onto the sheets. "You look so much prettier crying under me instead of over him," he mumbles, resting his head on your thigh as he looks up at you with flushed cheeks, working his fingers inside you.

Fondling his clothed bulge with his other hands, his gaze zeroes on you, burning every detail into memory afterall you might never wanna see him again after this so he'd rather take the chance to memorize all your cute reactions and small mewls, clenching around his finger and oozing cream over it as you jerk from your orgasm, your vision goes black and Satoru moans loudly with you- imagining his cock being replaced with his fingers does wonders for him.

"I'm putting it in," he sits up hurriedly, positioning himself between your legs while pulling his boxers down, letting his cock spring free. You gulp at the sight of it, pre-cum leaking out heavily from the tip and his happy trail making it just the more appetizing but there was just one big problem- he was big, too big in both girth and length. He was so much bigger than your boyfriend and your boyfriend's dick felt right despite not wanting to admit it, the size did feel right. But Satoru's? His was gonna rip you, it's not gonna fit and you're not exaggerating just for the sake of it. It was pretty, sure but it's not gonna fit.

"That's not gon-" he cuts you off yet again, shoving his slick covered fingers in your mouth as he tuts at you disapprovingly. Gathering the slick from your folds with his other hand, he slathers it against his raging cock reverently- pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he licks it clean as he watches you gulp from the sight of it, a small smirk on his face; pushing your folds apart, he angles his fat tip against your hole and pushes in slowly.

"Satoru, wait," you whine out, hands pushing against his muscled alabaster chest, squirming under him and trying to scoot backwards but alas, his grip on your hips prevents you from doing so," you should stop moving so much," he grunts, gritting his teeth and closing his eyes to hold himself back from slamming his cock in you.

"I change my mind, stop. Please," you plead, nails digging in his chest and he sighs, frustratedly pushing his hair back and quickly pulling away from you. Watching him leave out the door, "probably to pick up his clothes," you think, relieved for having your cunt spared despite the ache between your legs. Your relief is quickly cut short when see Satoru enter the bedroom still naked, still hard but with a blindfold in hand now, leaving you swallowing thickly.

"What's that for?" You squeak nervously, sitting up and looking at him standing above you with a wide grin, flashing his pearly whites at you which just unsettles you more. "You'll find out," he murmurs, leaning down and grabbing your ankle, pulling you towards him when you start inching backwards. Your sputtered out protests falls on deaf ears and you're left shocked when he pulls the blindfold over your eyes, hindering your sight as you start panicking, hurriedly trying to pull it off your eyes but stopped when a hand grabs hold of your wrists and pins it above your head with a bruising grip, pushing you flat on the bed.

More protests pours out of your mouth but is quickly silenced when soft lips crushes against yours, the lack of sight only making you more sensitive when you feel a hand press down on your belly, lighting your skin aflame and groaning when the hold on your wrists tightens ever so slightly. Heat pools in your stomach and you buck your hips up, helplessly grinding your throbbing cunt against chiseled abs for friction. Loud whimpers of protest from you gets muted down by Satoru's lips against yours when he pushes his cock between your walls, unrelenting even when you're tugging at your wrists and squirming under him.

Inch by inch, he pushes into your velvety walls steadily with no sign of stopping, eyes rolling to the back of his head when he feels your cunt squeeze and pull him in so needily. "You're s' needy," he moans in your lips, finally bottoming out in you with a grunt, pulling a long needy whine out of you. The delicious stretch of his cock minimizing the pain of being stretched so far, your eyes cross underneath the blindfold and your mouth lolls open, giving Satoru free reign as he sucks and lolls his tongue with yours. Pulling away with a loud smack, a string of saliva attaching itself between both your swollen lips, he looks down at your breatheless, twitching body with a satisfied hum.

"You're really so selfish, y'know?" He grunts, grinding his hips against yours, not yet letting go of his hold on your hand. "All you do is whine and complain about your boyfriend to me without ever caring about how I feel," he stutters, pulling out and ramming back into you with a loud squelch, you squeal and arch your back as he looks down fascinatedly at your cunt taking him in.

"And do you know what makes it worse? The fact that you always say you love him in my face," an incoherent babbles of what he thinks is 'I'm sorry' pours out of you, uncaring of your condition he continues ramming himself in with every word. "When you clearly know that I love you, it's like you consciously try to make me jealous," he snaps his cock brutally against your sweet spot, his hand finally lets go of your pinned hands and grabs hold of your hips to pull you down and meet his. His other hand abusing your swollen clit, leaving you with broken whimpers and stuttering breathes.

Leaning down and resting his face on the crook of your neck, his whispered "I love you's" falling upon unheard ears. Kitten scratching his back and your hips moving against his, his hand glides down to the protusion on your belly everytime he's inside and presses down on it- light flashes in your eyes through the blindfold and you squeal out, cunt squirting it's juices against his stuttering pace. Still fucking you through your orgasm until he cums in you, your silky cunt milking him for all it's worth.

He falls down ontop of you and refuses to pull out, trying to plug his cum inside you- lucky him if he got you pregnant. Pulling the blindfold off from your eyes, he looks at your starstruck eyes with a tired grin. "That help you forget?" He mumbles, kissing your collarbone as you weakly nod your head. You whimper tiredly when you feel his softened cock get hard inside your sensitive hole," Let's just make sure it stays that way, yea?"

_________________________________________________

Bonus :

Satoru is woken up by the sound of a ringing phone, groggily looking around when he notices your naked form snuggled against his which pulls a small smile out him. However the insistent ringing is starting to annoy him, what if it woke you up and made you pull away from him? He'll get to that when you wake up naturally, he has plenty of time till then.

Sighing and gently prying you off of him, his silent footsteps pads off towards the hallway filled with strewn clothes. Reaching down to your upturned phone, he annoyedly picks it up and looks at the caller, "Love♡" being the ID, he rolls his eyes at it. Why was your boyfriend even calling you at 4 in the morning? "That's a nice way of calling yourself insensitive." He mumbles to himself, picking the call up and bringing the phone to his ear.

"Hey, its not what you think it is. I swea-" your boyfriend starts, " Thanks for messing up. I appreciate it," Satoru cuts him off, quickly cutting the call and switching it off, silence ensuing in the dark hallway again. Throwing your phone back into the pile of clothes, he makes his way towards the bedroom again when another phone starts to ring. He lets out a frustrated grunt, he shut the phone down so why is it ringing? Looking down he realizes it's his and sighs when he looks at the caller ID, "Plan C". Begrudgingly picking the call, he mumbles an annoyed hello.

"I did what you told me too, that'll be a million," a feminine voice rings from the other line," I'll send it right now," Satoru answers, quickly sending the cash through online payment. "Great doing business with you," the voice replies cheerily before cutting the call. Satoru shuts his phone too, languidly throwing it in the pile again as he walks towards the room. He got rid of your feelings for your boyfriend now all he needs to do is get rid of your boyfriend before you realize that everything was a set-up.

You're smart afterall, talking to your boyfriend might just give Satoru's plan away but until then, all Satoru wants to do is snuggle with you for the moment. He'll save the rest later.

_________________________________________________

I know I'm 4 days late for valentines but I had to post this 😭 luckily, my cast is off now >♡< (can't say the same about my laptop though 🥲)

Updates will be slower than usual until I replace my laptop.

Masterlist ♡ Serieslist ♡ NSFWlist

[cuteandhughesy]

Yours | William Nylander

summary: you enlist williams help in trying to get his best friends kasperi kapanen’s attention. with a combination of practice dates, dating lessons, injuries and hiccups, william is determined to get you the guy - if you still want him that is. (in a world where covid didn't exist)

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warnings: SFW! friends to lovers | practice dating | unmutual pining | angst | descriptions of blood (reader gets injured) | descriptions of puke (reader gets thrown up on) | mean!kasperi kapanen | accidental groping | kissing | read at your own discretion.

link to masterlist

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February 2021

"sorry man, traffic was crazy." the voice of kasperi kapanen has william looking up from the crisp white linen tablecloth and into the eyes of his finnish friend. he smiles, standing up to greet kappy in a proper hug, patting his shoulder twice before separating.

"no worries," willy nods, "I got here just 5 minutes ago."

kappy laughs out a breath, taking his seat. "good."

simultaneously they both pluck out the leather bounded menus from their slot, bouncing off recommendations and ideas within the walls of their shared favourite toronto restaurant.

their small chat and hushed laughter is silenced when a body stops infront of their two person table, and both sets of blue eyes landed on their waitress. smiling back at them was a tiny brunette with painted pink lips and long lashes fluttering along her cheeks. "hey, what can we get started for you guys?"

kappy's eyes dart down to her name tag before meeting her eyes again, "hello, lena, i'll take number 5 but replace the fries with steamed asparagus. just an ice water to drink."

the brunette jots down the order on her notepad before turning towards william. "and for you?"

she's blinking a him slowly and it has him clearing his throat, "i'll do the exact same, thank you."

he smiles politely while the waitress nods, grabbing their menus and leaving their table with a toothy grin.

william watches as his friend eyes the brunettes retreating figure, a low whistle blowing past his lips. kappy turns back towards the blond with raised eyebrows, "she's a rocket, no?"

william just shrugs, chuckling awkwardly.

"alright," kappy laughs, holding up his hands in defense. "how is everybody? the team, their families?"

william smiles at the thought of his teammates. "everybody is good. we miss you down here man."

"it's great to be back," the finland native says. he props a head on his fist, eyeing his friend suspiciously. "how's y/n?"

william's fingers still from where they were unwrapping the silk napkin from his cutlery, eyes darting up to find his friends. "what?"

kappy smirks, "I just haven't talked to her since like, before I got traded. you guys are still friends, right? how is she?"

william chuckles awkwardly, a blush creeping up his muscled chest. "well, actually..."

January 2020

your fingers are cold as they hold on to the mixing straw, twirling it through your vodka cranberry as your eyes observe the crowd infront of you.

a sigh leaves your lips gently. you're currently the only one sitting at your table, the VIP section that mitch marner always booked was elevated at the back of the club. it was slightly private, but still had a great view of the bar, the dj and the entire dance floor.

you're not left wallowing by yourself much longer, your good friend zach plopping down beside you, slightly sweaty and smelling of tequila. his breathlessness has you furrowing your brows, "you dancing that hard zachary?"

the leafs winger laughs, chugging down somebodies bottled water before turning back towards you. "what's up with you?"

you try not to frown, keeping a neutral expression as you look into his eyes. zach hyman was one of your best friends. the hymans grew up in the house next door to yours and because there wasn't many kids in your neighborhood, zach and yourself bonded quickly, a friendship blooming despite the four year age gap. the two of you stayed close even when zach went to high school, leaving you behind in middle school to fend for yourself, often crying about mean girls and bullies to him after the school day. despite it all, you two stayed friends. you met his now wife and grew close with her. you celebrated birthdays together, holidays together and watched with pride when zach got drafted and then traded to the leafs.

you loved him like a brother, and he loved you like a little sister. the two of you couldn't stay apart for long, and zach was determined for all his teammates to be your friends too. it wasn't long before he was dragging you to parties and events with his team: and it wasn't long before you were taken in by the group of NHLers. mitch and steph always inviting you first to halloween get togethers, morgan reilly making sure you came out to the bars and clubs, auston claiming you as a plus one to events held by the organization. it was like a small family - and you were so thankful.

surprisingly enough, you never actually wanted to date any of them. which was odd, because usually tall strong athletes were your weakness, but something about this group of guys felt different. that was until kasperi kapanen came along. you don't know exactly what changed within you, but you had the biggest crush on the finnish winger. maybe it was his curly hair, or possibly his plump lips, but you were smitten anytime he so much as smiled in your direction.

obviously, you told zach and alanna immediately, your feelings too strong and overwhelming you couldn't keep them in. "go for it!," zach had smiled, shaking your shoulders in excitement, but you denied.

I need time.

I don't want to ruin our friendship.

what if it goes wrong?

those excuses were running through your mind always when thinking about kappy. so you pushed your feelings away, choosing to admire from a distance. after awhile, zach and his wife stopped asking, and your crush became more manageable - easier to hide.

your best friends brown eyes were still burning into yours, snapping you from your own thoughts and back into the reality of the bustling club. "i'm fine," you smile.

zach sends you a look but you choose to ignore him, tilting your head back to catch the rest of your alcoholic drink to finish it off completely, the ice splashing on your mouth and nose.

"y/n." he says, his tone all too familiar. he's pitying you.

"oh look at that," you smile, wiping your face from the liquid, "I'm empty, i'm going to get another drink."

a couple people join you and zach back at the table just as you're standing up from your booth side seat.

"where you going?" morgan teases, taking a seat beside mitch and steph, auston not too far behind.

"drink," you mumble, sneaking between auston and the back of kerfoots unoccupied chair, escaping any further questions. you leave the VIP section with the feeling of zach's eyes burning into your exposed back.

you mumble apologies as you squeeze through dancing and moving bodies, trying your best not to trip over others feet as you begin your destination to the large bar. it sat circle style in the middle of the dance floor, so it doesn't take long before you make it over, flagging down the male bartender and placing your order.

this time you opt for something stronger, a shot of vodka and some fruity cocktail that caught your eye.

"cheers," you mumble to yourself, downing the shot with a full body shudder: using your cocktail as a chaser. you look out into the busy crowd for a momentary distraction but like usual, gravitational pull grabs you, and your eyes find kappy's dancing figure. he's laughing with a girl, which has you frowning, but his face distracts you from your tiny spurge of jealously, his angelic smile and bright eyes swooning you like usual.

"who are you staring at?"

you jump at the sudden voice and start choking on your drink - leaving you a coughing mess, catching your breath between each fit.

"fuck my bad," william nylander laughs, thumping his hand against your back until you can collect yourself.

"you scared me." once your body relaxes, you scold your friend, sending his cheeky smile a hard glare.

"I can tell."

you shrug, taking a slow sip of your drink to soothe your now raw throat. without much thought, you look back at your friend out on the dance floor, kappy still oblivious to your admiration.

"who are you staring at?" william asks again, straining his words in a way that has him sounding almost concerned: astonished.

you blink hard, eyes leaving kappy's figure to jump over to william's. "nobody!"

william's eyes widen at your tone but then he starts laughing that typical way he does and it has you glaring at the swede.

"what's so funny?" you seeth.

he takes a breath, "you're clearly watching somebody. you've got that sad...love sick look on your face - i've seen it before."

"what?" you screech, eyes wide from his call out.

william doesn't give you much of a chance to further question his statement, looking out into the crowd, eyes squinting as he searches the mass of people. "alright, y/n, point them out, who is it? i'll be your wing - man."

you can hear kappy's laugh in the crowd and your stomach drops as you see your mutual friend moving towards the both of you.

in a panic, you grab willy's chin between your thumb and two fingers, bringing his face back to yours. "don't look."

"why not?" his light eyebrows draw together, face slightly squished from your grip.

"willy-"

"hey guys," you're interrupted, kappy sliding up beside the two of you at the bar, "am I interrupting something?"

kappy laughs which has you blushing, dropping william's face. "no! absolutely not." you say, "you know us...just goofing around." you trail off, immediately cursing yourself for being so flustered.

"okay crazy," kappy laughs and it has you floating, the sound no doubt giving you that smitten look on your face william was seeing earlier - even with the unflattering nickname. kappy ruffles your hair and you might as well just pass away.

he flags down the bartender before ordering a beer and a margarita. "see that girl?" kappy gestures to the same one he was dancing with when you first spotted him, "she's hot right?"

you're pretty sure he's talking to william, because why would he care about your opinion on some girl, but you respond regardless, "oh yeah! super hot."

your voice is louder than anticipated and it has william nudging your thigh with his knee. even with his nudge, willy vocalizes an agreement.

"hopefully I get lucky," kappy smirks, grabbing the two drinks in between his big hands before bidding goodbye, moving through the dance floor and back towards that girl, your eyes not once leaving him.

that is, until you hear william gasp slightly. that bubble of panick is back swirling in your chest, and it has you spinning around to meet william's wide eyes. "kappy?" he asks you, his attempt at a quiet whisper very much failing.

you shush him loudly, smacking his peck with your open palm. "stop. quiet, I don't want to talk about it."

"is that who you were staring at with that face." he makes a weird gesture towards your head and it has you slapping his hand out of the air.

"please, willy, you can't say anything! only zach knows about my stupid crush, and it's embarrassing okay? look at that girl out there! he would never go for me, and that's okay! i'm okay with just admiring from afar and just strictly crushing. so please, keep this to yourself - I'll get over it-"

william slaps a hand over your mouth which has you effectively shutting up, your rambling being put to a halt. you are sending willam daggers because of his action, an unimpressed pull to yours eyebrows. but william isn't worried about that. he's looking at you gently, with what you can only assume is pity for you and your stupid feelings. "don't talk yourself down like that," he says.

your shoulders drop slightly. his press on your mouth eases up enough for you to slip your tongue out, prodding the palm of his large hand. he just smirks at your attempt to gross him out and it has you becoming even more annoyed with his hold on you. not long passing until you're mustering the strength to grab his wrist and pull his hand down. "why didn't you remove your hand?"

he just shrugs before wiping his hand against his shirt. "a little spit never hurt anybody."

william's attempt at trying to make you laugh is unsuccessful. you're still staring up at him with a worried expression, knawing the inside of your cheek. your eyes dart out into the crowd before back into his. "promise me," you whisper, "don't say anything."

william nods gently, your anxiety practically leaking out your pores and seeping into his own. his stomach swoops. "I would never." your face still holds a look of being unsure and it has him breathing out a laugh, "I promise."

that has you sighing, your body visibly relaxing at his words of a promise. without much thought,  for what feels like the millionth time that night, your eyes slowly make their way back to your mutual friend on the dance floor, still laughing and dancing with that smooth legged blonde girl. it has you frowning once more, your fragile heart cracking.

william can see it on your face, the way it drops in uncertainty. the look of longing and unrequited love swimming in your eyes. he knows all too well. without thinking much more, he blurts out, "I'll help you."

shoulders still deflated you turn your body back towards william completely. "what are you talking about?"

william leans his body against the bar top, "there's no reason that it shouldn't be you he's with, right? you're just as beautiful and capable as that girl he's with now. if you want kappy, i'll help you get him."

your brows are raised slightly, the disbelief evident. "how?"

william shrugs at first, because he really hadn't thought that far ahead. "im his best friend," he settles on, "I know everything about him. what he likes, what he doesn't...his type and what he looks for in a girl. we can meet up when we can...and i'll show you where he likes to go on dates and what he likes, essentially preparing you for when its the real thing with him."

"really?" you ask gently, "why would you do that?"

he shrugs again, "he needs somebody to whip him into shape, who better than you?" something changes in his eyes and he laughs gently, "plus I won't have to see your love sick face anymore."

you smile softly, pushing his shoulder without much force. "okay," your words are hopeful, "but I feel like I owe you-"

william shakes his head, "no no," his hands held up in defense.

he can see your thoughts turning in your head, and then your smiling brightly. "yes, yes. elizabeth! you think she's hot right?"

william gulps. you and elizabeth had been friends since college, and most of the time she joined you on nights like these with the team. glued to your side at bars, clubs and dinners: the team was familiar with her soft face. she was very beautiful, any single guy into woman would think so. "yeah, she's nice." william agrees.

"okay! so, i'll help you." you're smiling, hands grasped together. "you've been single for so long, willy, this is your chance. i'll help you with elizabeth if you help me with kappy."

"okay," william says after a beat. your smile gets larger and it has him mimicking you, his shiny teeth smiling back at you. "I would've done this regardless, even if elizabeth wasn't involved though."

"i know," you down the last bit of your drink, "but I felt bad- and now we are helping each other."

william just nods, watching as you swallow. the cold drink slipping down the corner of your mouth and down your chin until you're wiping it away. "alright," he says, hand extending out infront of him, "we got a deal."

you place your hand into his, shaking it twice. "we got a deal." you repeat.

—

it's not until two weeks later when willy texts you and asks to meet up. you're almost shocked at first, thinking that nights conversation was a fluke. him promising to help you get through to kappy was long forgotten - but clearly not.

willy

hey, we have an off day. wanna get

food and talk kappy plans ??

y/n

oh right

y/n

sure!

y/n

i mean if you want to !

willy

haha 🤣

his next text is the location of what looks to be a sandwich place, only 10 minutes from your apartment. you speed getting ready, throwing on the first thing you deem presentable in your closet before throwing your hair up in a ponytail, not bothering with much else before heading out the door, making the short drive to the address you'd been sent.

you're slightly breathless when you get there, pulling open the glass door only for your nostrils to be assaulted by the scent of fresh bread and coffee beans. the low light ambiance grabbing your attention immediately, a feeling of calmness flowing into your senses.

william is already there, his eyes catch yours from where he is ordering at the register. "there she is," he mumbles, "hey, what do you want?" he's beckoning you over to the cash, his loud voice catching the ears of others, which immediately has you blushing, speeding over to your friend to ensure he wouldn't yell out again.

"I can pay," you tell him.

william shakes his head, "don't worry about that - just order whatever you want."

you smile politely and give your order to the young woman behind the counter and you do let william pay, which has him smiling triumphantly. not long after your drinks are being called out, william leaving the small table the two of you had coined to collect the order.

when he returns, you're just slipping your jacket off, leaving you in your light gray mock neck top. he slides your cappuccino as well as an unknown bag towards you - which is holding a croissant sandwich that you definitely didn't order. "This isn't mine."

willy has an identical sandwich that's he's already starting biting into, "Oh, I ordered it before you walked over, I wasn't expecting you to be here so soon."

you nod, "I wasn't expecting you to be here so soon...or at all." william is chewing slowly, brows furrowed at your confession, "I just, I thought maybe you had forgotten about this whole..."

"plan kappy." he finishes after a swallow.

you nod, "yeah."

"I promised I would help you," william says, "I was just collecting my data." you roll your eyes playfully when he stars to chuckle. you're wringing your hands nervously, eyes surveying the restaurant moving around you.

william sighs, pushing the sandwich closer to you. the crinkle of the paper snapping you out of your own head and back to him and the cheesy sandwich. "you're fine, just eat before you get hangry."

you scoff, "I don't get - "

william gives you a looks that has you cutting yourself off, because yes, you did get hangry. in that moment, you stomach betrays any argument you may of had, rumbling at the thought of food. grabbing the sandwich, you don't hesitate, taking a very unattractive bite. you moan out, licking some mayo off your thumb.

william laughs gently. "i'm sorry it took so long for me to reach out. the teams been really busy and i've been so exhausted. fucking time zones."

"it's okay," you say between chewing. you could understand the pure exhaustion that would come with playing a physically demanding game all while trying to be awake and adapt to the east coast time change.

"it's not really," william sucks some spinach looking drink up through his straw, "I should've at least told you I was busy and planned a meet up. I hope I didn't make you feel like, i don't know...shitty."

"it's fine," you reiterate, "we never even set a timeline, honestly! for a little bit, I thought I dreamed that whole conversation, which was a whole thing." your rambling has william nodding along with an amused smile. "but then you texted me today so I was definitely certain it was real...so now i feel less crazy." the look he's giving you has you stopping, covering you eyes. "sorry, i'm just feeling anxious about this whole thing. i'm so clueless."

"you're not clueless," william says. "we will figure it out."

you gulp, dropping your hands from your face, "what do I do?"

"first things first," william says, dusting his hands off before leaning into the table and closer towards you. "kappy isn't the best when it comes to girls - sure, he can flirt but he's not a boyfriend kind of man, more of a one night stand...enthusiast. I assume you don't want to be a one night stand?"

you shake your head no, "okay, so. how should I act? how should I dress?"

"act like yourself," william says immediately, "you have the best personality. you just need to be more confident when it comes to him. kappy likes confidence."

"confidence, okay. fake it till i make it."

he smiles, "fake it till you make it." willam agrees. "I picked this place because kappy likes this spot. he comes here for breakfast a lot. so if you can, bring it up in conversation."

you smile, "I can do that."

william finished his last bit of food. "saturday night, we were planning on going out for a couple drinks to celebrate mango's birthday."

you nod, taking another huge bite of your sandwich, seemingly unaware of what william was suggesting. "okay." you hum through your mouthful of tomato and cheese.

he laughs, "okay, so, come. kappy will be there and we can start this whole thing."

"right! okay." you try to suppress the nervous butterflies fluttering around your belly, bashing against your sides in a way that has you feeling weak. "you'll be there too, right? In case I need your help."

"you'll be great, don't worry." he says, "and If i wasn't going to be there I wouldn't of invited you," william holds a teasing grin.

"right," you hum, rubbing the back of your neck. "what should I wear?"

william shrugs, "whatever you want. he likes the colour red...if that's any help."

"red, okay." you're already taking mental notes of what's in your closet, flashes of articles dyed those ruby tones you needed. "I can do that."

"alright, now," william stands from his set, his chair scraping along the tiled floor loud enough to leave you cringing. "let's go around the city for a bit, i'll show you some of his favourite spots."

you're still sitting at the table, a bit dumbfounded as you watch him slip his puffer coat back over his broad shoulders. william chuckles, grabbing your garbage off the table, "are you coming? or am i going by myself."

"shut up," you hit his bicep, standing up less than gracefully. "you're so impatient."

"you hurt me, y/n," he feins pains, grasping his left peck like his heart was broken, "after all I've done for you."

you're laughing beside him which has william stopping his antics, releasing his chest while smiling down at you.

"okay, drama queen, where to next?"

william leads you through the city for the rest of the day, pointing out kappy's favourite boutiques, eateries, bars and anything in between. the two of you walk until dusk settles over the sky, william treating you to another meal before the two of you part ways, a promise from william that he will text you before the weekend with the finalized plans.

you got to bed that night happy with a stomach full of mouth watering chinese food (which you successfully convinced willy to get, claiming he could be unhealthy just for one day.) a smile adorned your face as you close your eyes, your plan with willy feeling successful- and it hasn't even begun.

you couldn't wait for saturday.

—

william does text you in the days leading up to saturday. offering you a couple more quips about his best friend as well as keeping you updated about plans and game schedules alike. it's friday night, just after 11p.m, when william texts you the finalized location and who's all going and so on and so forth.

the thought of the following evening has you giddy, brushing your teeth for bed with a little extra sway in your hips, not even caring when toothpaste falls from your tube and lands on your top.

you wake up saturday in the same mood, a smile adorning your face even though the nerves were running ramped through your veins.

you force yourself to eat a brunch, eggs and real cheese smooshed in between your last everything bagel, along with orange juice poured over a concerning amount of ice that you would inevitably knaw on once the liquid was drank.

your phone bings, bringing you out of your quiet meal.

zachary

hey. what are you doing tonight? did you want to come watch thatnew movie we've been talking about seeing?

you frown at your phone, the message from your best friend pushing down at your heart until it feels heavy. without meaning to, you hadn't texted or talked to zach in a week. the combination of two busy schedules along with yourself and williams escapades, zach had been put on your back burner.

y/n

hey

y/n

i'm actually going out

y/n

for mango's thing

y/n

william invited me

y/n

i'm sorry

zachary

don't apologize! it will be fun

we can do movie night another

night 😊

zachary

so...william invited you? 😏🧐

y/n

yes

y/n

don't send me those emojis!😤

y/n

william and I are friends

y/n

actually i'm helping him with something

zachary

oh yeah? and what's that

y/n

i'll tell you when i see you next

zachary

oh god

the conversation with zach lasts a little longer, and then you have to shower, so you bid goodbye to your oldest friend with a promise to hang next time he had a free evening.

you take your time getting ready, blow drying your hair straight until the heat has you sweating, leaving you to stand naked in the star fish pose in front of your stand alone fan until you can cool down.

as you're finishing up your makeup, swiping your pen along your eyelid to create a black wing, you almost wish kappy was there - that way he would be able to see all the effort you were putting in for him: for his attention and affection.

you were kind of left exhausted before you got dressed.

you slip on your favourite black mom jeans, the denim immediately hugging and wrapping around the curves of your hips. a top is strappy in the back, exposed your tanned skin from the neck down, the cherry red tank top sitting loose and plain on your front. you're stumbling over yourself as you try and zip up your black booties on your way to the front door, grabbing your bag and your thin wind breaker that definitely wasn't a match for the canadian winter air, and head out the door.

you arrive at the bar 15 minutes later, tipping your uber before exiting the warmth of the car and into the early february air.

you do a half run half walk to the front door, pulling open the heavy slate of oak until the warmth and sticky sweet smell envelope you, sucking you into the bar with ease.

"fuck," you mumble, your teeth chattering at the last bit of cold. you slip off your next to nothing jacket and hang it over your bent arm. you try your best to fix your hair in the terribly scratched mirror that hangs on the wall next to you, checking your teeth for any lipstick or seeds from your bagel earlier.

the clock alerts you that it's 8:45 p.m., 5 minutes after the time william said kappy would be there. with a sigh, you decided your presentable enough, moving around the small group gathered near the front and walking further into the bar.

"there she is!" you hear the distinctive voice of andreas johnsson call out to you, his deep accent bringing a smile to his face. you find them almost instantly, a smile tugging up at your mouth until your moving, joining your friends at the high table and chairs they've taken over.

"happy birthday," you sing song once you get to them, wrapping andreas in a hug until he kisses your cheek, squeezing you tight before releasing you.

"thank you," he laughs, "you look smokin," he teases, spinning you around until you're both laughing.

"whatever," you mumble. "oh," you gasp, hands pulling at your bag until you can reach inside, "I have something for you!" your fingers latch onto the crisp envelope that holds a birthday card, pulling it out and slipping it infront of him. "you don't need to open it now, but I didn't want to forget."

"you're too kind," johnsson says, giving you one more squeeze.

william is already standing when you meet his eyes, and he sends you a knowing smirk before pulling you into a hug. "he's at the bar," his words are whispered against the shell of you ear. it has you nodding, pulling away.

you greet timothy liligren and rasmus sandin who are accompanying the other chairs: warm greetings sent your way from your swedish friends. william takes your bag and coat from where they are draped over your arm, hanging them on the back of the empty chair beside him.

you go to take your seat but willy nudges you, eyes darting over to the bar. you see kappy - he's laughing with mitch and some brunette girl, all sipping drinks as they converse.

the hint was taken, "i'm going to grab a drink," you say, making your way over until you're standing in front of them.

mitch sees you first, "hey! how's it going?" he pulls you into a brief hug, which you return delicately.

"good, good," you nod, releasing mitch. before you can freak yourself out and over analyze everything about yourself, you're turning your body so your entire front is facing kappy. you're so close to him, if you lean in anymore than an inch, your boobs would be pressed against his bicep.

"hey kappy," you smile.

he doesn't move to hug you but he smirks all syrupy at you, eyes flicking down to your top. it give you a boost of confidence, a blush creeping up your chest and burning the tips of you ears.

"hey crazy," he teases, "you look good."

you breathe out a laugh, blinking a few times. "thanks," then you think about what willy said: confidence. so you decide to say, "I know I do."

once you say it, immediately you know that's not the right thing to say and definitely the wrong kind of confidence: more cocky if anything. it's confirmed by the look mitch sends your way, the mysterious brunette girl snorting into her drink.

"I mean...no. I don't know I do - or, no! yes, thank you."

kappy laughs, gripping your shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. "you want a drink?"

you nod, saving yourself any more embarrassment by staying silent. kappy flags down the bartender, ordering you a drink. a moment later, he's passing you a corona and you send him a tight lipped smile - taking a sip of the bitter drink and praying that your disgust isn't evident on your face.

mitch has left in the time your drink was ordered, leaving yourself with your crush and that same girl, who still hasn't introduced herself but instead orders another drink for herself. when she turns back around to face you, you are smiling expectantly at her but she just looks down into her drink.

you sigh, "hey, i'm y/n."

she finally meets your eyes, "lacy."

you try not to scoff at her attitude, raising your brows high. kappy doesn't seem to mind his...friends? attitude, talking over his shoulder at liligren.

"hey, did you want to dance?" the words leave your mouth before you can think it through. kappy looks back down at you.

"dance?"

"yeah!" you smile, "I love to dance! do you like dancing?"

kappy runs a hand through his hair, "i'm a terrible dancer."

"me too, that's what makes it fun."

"alright," kappy smiles. he grabs your hand, holding your palm against his own. immediately your knees go weak, letting him pull you away from the bar and out onto the makeshift dance floor. it isn't too busy, just enough people to make you not feel like you're being watched.

he dances fine, you think. his hands placed on your body appropriately, spinning and twirling you around until you're laughing, blushing and sweating.

over his shoulder, you catch the steel blue eyes of willy, who smiles encouragingly, tossing you a thumbs up that has your eyes widening, gesturing back and forth between him and the man you were dancing with: like a kid trying to tell their parent to stop embarrassing them.

william laughs, you can hear it from where you are. it has you joining in, rolling your eyes playfully and throwing him your middle finger subtly.

"you good?" kappy asks, his breath tickling your hairline.

your face falls, like you've been caught doing something you shouldn't. "yeah."

you're looking up at him when his eyes flicker away, looking behind you...and then he's pulling away. "lacy is calling me over -i'm going to grab another drink."

"oh," he's already walking away before you can finish, "okay. sounds good."

your face falls in a slight disappointment, standing alone in the middle of the dance floor while couples and friends move sound you. once again, you catch williams eyes.

his brows pull together in question which earns a shrug from you. your actions clearly enough communication for him and then you're watching the blond stand from his seat, slipping in between bodies until he's front of you. "what happened?"

"I don't know," you whine, "he said lacy was calling him over- said something about getting another drink."

"you didn't want to join them?"

you scoff, "lacy is kind of a bitch."

william laughs deeply. saved from the embarrassment of standing on the dance floor, he's pulling you into his body, hand resting heavy on your waist while his other clasp's one of yours, swaying the two of you to the sound tequila.

"should I go up there?" your question has william sighing.

"no. give it a minute. you don't want to look too...I don't know...clingy."

a frown pulls at your lips, "but I am clingy."

your words sound so genuine it has william smirking down at you. "that's okay, but he won't like that."

you nod, eyes surveying the room around you. the air grows silent between the two of you for a few minutes, the both of you just bathing in the calmness of one another's presence. it's you who breaks the silence though, a distant look on your face. "why is it he's always with somebody else?"

william looks at you sadly, which has you immediately regretting your question. you almost want to take it back but then he's sighing, "kappy is...complicated. he likes the attention."

"do I not give enough?"

he looks at you in shock, "what? you give enough. he's just...," he trails off, taking a deep breath before continuing, "too clueless to see what's right in front of him."

you don't say anything, too busy watching the way williams eyes soften.

he clears his throat, "that's you, by the way."

his tease has you giggling. "thank you, I would've had no idea who you were talking about if you didn't clear that up."

your banter has him smirking, sending a quick pinch to the dip of your hip where his hand is sitting. "loser," william whispers, his usual grin softly adorning his face. his face changes just as the song does, "also did I see you drinking a beer? you hate beer."

the reminder of your beverage has you groaning, that sour taste attacking your tastebuds once again. "oh my god yes," your head lulls down, "don't remind me." he laughs.

"wanna get something new to get your mind off it?"

you're gasping at that, "yes, I thought you'd never ask."

then the two of you disconnect. the dance floor has become more crowded since you first walked out onto it, bodies pushed together that effectively block a clear path. william's hooking a finger through the belt loop on your jeans, dragging you behind him as he uses his sheer size to make way through the crowd, bringing you both to the bar. you're not sure why you're blushing.

"done dancing?" kappy teases when he sees you again. you laugh awkwardly, shrugging.

"yeah, my partner kept stepping on my feet."

william scoffs, "whatever." but then he's laughing, flagging down the same bartender from earlier in the night until he catches their attention, ordering himself a diet coke and you a vodka cranberry. your mouth is salivating in anticipation at the thought of your favourite drink.

"he's always been a terrible dancer," kappy teases his friend, bumping williams shoulder with his own.

expect william doesn't laugh too hard, only a breath of a small chuckle leaving his lips. "at least I don't leave my partner on the dance floor."

his tone has you gulping, eyes darting between the two hockey players. "willy," your words come out between a forceful whisper and a shaky scold.

kappy throws his hands up in surrender, a smirk still on his face. "I was being summoned."

for the first time, lacy speaks up. "yeah that's totally my bad...I was lonely." her voice is more slurred then the last time you heard it, eyelids falling heavy in a way that very much gave away the state of her intoxication. "I just didn't want to stand alone, you get it, right girl?"

yeah, you think, you do get it because you were left standing alone in the middle of the dance floor because she was lonely - but you just nod, too sober to argue with a drunk girl.

william hands you your freshly made drink, to which you take roughly, chugging the entire thing in one go. the next few moments are kind of a blur. you place your empty glass on the counter, leaning close to lacy to do so. lacy grabs your arm, mumbling something incoherent in between quiet burps and then she spews. literally spews.

you jump away but it's no use, lacy had thrown up the contents of the night all over your front, the hot liquid soaking into your clothing and sticking to your skin. you can feel the colour drain from your face. "oh my god," you cry.

"oh shit, are you okay?" kappy asks, hands hovering over lacy's back.

"i'm sorry," lacy mumbles, wiping her mouth with the back of her tanned hand, "I didn't feel well."

"oh my god." you repeat.

"are you okay?" william is the one asking this time, expect he's asking you, the recipient of the vomit attack.

you take a deep breath through your mouth, too scared to use your nose. you look down and see you are completely covered, all the way down to your black shoes. vomit puddles on the floor below you and you start panicking, shaking your hands in despair.

"I need to go outside."

"yeah, okay," william nods, guiding you by the back of your neck towards the exit. this time, he doesn't need to use his body to make a path, the pure stench and look of you has people clearing the way.

you can hear kappy flagging down some help for a clean up just as william is opening the door, a wave a cold air hitting you. your wet clothes immediately feel 10 times worse. "what do I do?" you cry. you can also assume you're standing like a robot, making sure none of your limbs touch one another. "I have emtaphobia."

"emta- what?" willy asks, eyes swimming with a look you can't decipher.

"I'm scared of puke, william." the use of his full name has his eyes growing wide. "what do I do? I can't keep these clothes on."

"no, you're right," he trails off, looking around frantically for a moment, "okay! I have some clothes in my car. you can change."

your panick is still swirling deep in your stomach, your fear so badly taking over. you try to distract yourself with the press william had on your back as he guides you to his car, taking shaky deep breaths as best you can.

the beep of the car is another distraction, the lights momentarily shocking you. william rounds you both to the trunk, popping the hatch open. it's relatively clean back there, a few rolls of hockey tape and some loose articles of clothing spewn about, not doubt thrown astray form driving. "okay, just take what you need."

you nod.

"do you need help?"

you survey yourself again, "no, umm, I think I got it. just...don't leave. turn around or something."

he turns around.

"no peeking," you try and joke, laughing awkwardly at yourself to save yourself from crying.

"I would never," williams teasing has you feeling a bit more relaxed, your hands that were previously shaking now much more manageable. you pull your tank top off, and miraculously avoid getting any of lacy's vomit in your hair. your bra is also affected, which has you surveying the dark parking lot to make sure nobody could see you. the coast is clear and you unclip the undergarment, letting it fall to the ground along with your tank top. you quickly grab a blue hoodie, the maple leaf logo embroidered on the front. you pull it over your head, the number 88 sitting heavy on your collarbone.

you make quick work of your jeans, throwing on a pair of sweatpants after you kicked off your shoes, leaving you standing in just your socks. "okay, i'm done."

william turns around to see you standing there, a sad look on your face. your hands are gripping his sweatpants tightly, preventing them from falling down.  "i'm so embarrassed," you finally say, tears brimming your waterline.

"don't be," he strains.

"why did it have to happen infront of kappy? I probably looked ridiculous."

"if it's any consolation," william says, "everybody looks ridiculous covered in puke."

that has you laughing slightly, a single tear falling down your cheek that has you using your shoulder to wipe it away. "can you - umm, call me a cab?"

"no," william says quickly. your brows raise, ready to lay into him. "i'll drive you home."

"you don't have to."

"I want to." he doesn't look at you when he says it, busy shutting the trunk of his vehicle. willy steps over the pile of pukey clothes by your feet, "here's my keys, start the car and i'll go get our stuff from inside."

you don't argue, feet too cold from the frosted concrete. that has you getting into the passenger seat and letting the car warm up. it isn't 5 minutes later that william walks back out of the bar, your jacket and purse over his shoulder, a plastic bag in his hand. you don't see where he goes as he rounds the back of his car, the sound of the trunk opening and closing just before you see that head of blonde hair again, william walking over to the driver's side and getting in.

"i'll wash them for you," he is rubbing his hands together, trying to warm them up, "don't even worry about it."

he's talking about your clothes. your red top and favourite pair of jeans. you feel like crying again. "thank you." you sniffle as he's putting the car into drive, "I would've just thrown them out."

he laughs lightly, "no doubt."

the drive is silent for the first 5 minutes but then william is sighing, pulling up to a red light. "i'm sorry that happened to you. I hope you're not scarred from ever accepting my invitations to go out again."

"never," you laugh, "well, as long as lacy isn't there." despite your laughter, your voice is very much serious and william doesn't doubt it.

"lacy, never again. got it."

"thank you for helping me, willy." you whisper a few minutes later. you recognize that your close to your apartment complex, the neighbouring buildings providing a sense of familiarity.

"always," he says, "promise."

you nod at him softly, a sweet smile on your face.

—

the next morning when you wake up it's with a groan, the memories of the night before heavy on your brain. after william dropped you off, you obviously showered, your damp hair against the pillows a reminder that you are clean - your momentary surge of panic ending.

but then your embarrassment comes back. you can only imagine the sheer terror on your face the moment you were douced in throw up - the miniature freak out that followed with it. kappy hadn't even checked in on you: when it happened or after the fact.

you groan again, tossing back your blanket at the same time you grab your phone off the night stand: frowning at the lack of texts from kappy once more. suddenly you're hit with a wave of loneliness, wanting nothing more than the comfort of your best friend.

y/n

can you come over ?

y/n

something I want to tell you about

the phone dings a moment later

zachary

of course. want a sandwich from tony's?

y/n

yes

y/n

please

zachary

bacon egg and cheese okay?

y/n

yes please 👍🏼

when zach lets himself into your apartment, you're lounging on the couch, still wearing your pyjamas and glasses, slippers covering your feet.

"hey," he calls out, kicking the door shut with his foot. you push to sit up, grabbing the drink tray from his arm that's also holding a paper bag with yummy breakfast sandwiches. the puke incident still has you feeling a bit weary of eating but you do your best to ignore it, thanking zach as he takes a seat beside you.

he must be able to feel your anxious energy. "something happen last night?" his voice is cautious, unwrapping his food.

you take a deep breath, taking a small bite of your sandwich and chewing it slowly. "I got fucking puked on."

he sucks in some air, "you okay? how did that happen?"

you nod, "i'm fine. it was this girl..."

there's something you aren't saying, zach call tell. the way you won't meet his eyes, running your hand through your un-brushed hair. "what else?"

he knows you too well, you think. "I got puked on...in front of kappy and totally, like, panicked. I had to fucking strip down in the parking lot behind willy's car. oh my god, and the girl, lacy, was totally there with kappy and I just," you take a deep breath, "i'm so embarrassed. I looked so stupid standing there infront of him covered in his dates vomit."

as if zach can sense your feelings, he moves closer, pulling you into his side for a much appreciated hug. you love him so much, you think. because instead of your best friend teasing you about how you were still crushing on his teammate, zach was empathetic with you. "don't be embarrassed," he says, "anybody would look silly covered in puke."

you laugh, "that's pretty much what willy said."

zach raises his brows, "we know you too well I suppose."

you nod gently, bringing your thumb to your lips and beginning to pick. "there's something else."

zach just nods, urging you to continue.

"willy, he umm, he's helping me with," you ponder wording, "getting kappy to ask me out."

"what?"

"he's essentially like, training me for a date with kappy." zach laughs which has you joining in. "I know it sounds stupid! but it's kind of working! he danced with me for a bit last night - he did leave me on the dance floor though which was a whole different thing-"

"he left you alone on the dance floor?" zach sounds angry.

you shake your head, "it's okay, though. willy saved me - anyways, besides the point. willy is helping me with kappy and in return I told him I'd get him a date with liz."

"liz?" zach asks, brows raised. "like your friend elizabeth?"

you nod.

"does liz know?"

you shake your head, "absolutely not. I don't want her to feel like a pawn."

zach breaths a laugh, "she is a pawn."

"no! well, yes," you nod, "but no! because willy didn't even ask! I was the one who offered after he mentioned helping me."

"hold on," he says, eyes squinting, "willy just...offered to help you get with his best friend?"

you purse your lips, "pretty much."

"a bit weird, don't you think?"

your brows draw together, "no. we are friends! he's just helping me out."

"okay."

"why? do you think it's a bad idea?"

"no. not if you're happy with it."

"I am," you smile automatically, "I think it will work."

zach mimicks your expression, "then I think it's a great idea." he takes another bite of his food.

"okay now help me get my mind off last night," you shiver, taking another hesitant bite of your breakfast.

zach laughs around his mouthful, "have you watched the new episode of love is blind yet?"

and then he's diving into an explanation, insisting you both watch the episode before he has to go back home for his pre-game meal and nap. the conversation between the two of light hearted and a much needed healer for your brain rot. it's nice and even after zach leaves, you don't think about the night before, sucked into the rest of the show.

the next couple days are pretty quiet. the leafs have a few games back to back at the beginning of the week, and you're pretty swamped at your job as well. but then wednesday comes, and the leafs have an early afternoon game - leaving the evening open.

that's how you end up at williams apartment wednesday night: feasting on a balanced meal william insisted you would enjoy (it was actually really delicious but you kept teasing him that it wasn't- news flash: he saw right through you).

"why are we watching this movie?" you question, slouched down on the plush couch cushions of williams expensive sectional, one of his dogs curled up at your feet.

"it's kappy's favourite," william says. he's in the same slouched position as you, shoulder almost pushing into yours.

you groan, "seriously? the godfather is his favourite movie."

you can't hide you look of distaste, and it has william giggling at your expression. he shrugs, "that's what he says." he pauses, rolling his head against the cushion so he can look at your face, "what's yours?"

you ponder for a moment and then smirk. "you can't judge me."

"never," he promises automatically.

"if I had to just pick one... it would be tinkerbell."

you expect him to laugh at you, call you a baby and then explain why something like fight club is a much more suitable film. but instead he nods, "respectable."

"think so?" you ask, brows raised in a slight disbelief.

"yeah," he laughs slightly. "is that alright tinkerbell?" william is back to his usual teasing laugh and that has you sighing, a playful roll to your eyes.

"if anything, you're tinkerbell - not me."

william laughs loudly, "well I wasn't going to say it but..."

you giggle, pushing his shoulder gently. "what's your favourite movie?"

"I don't have one." he says after a few beats.

you gasp, turning your head towards him. william is still looking at you, a small smirk tugging at his lips. it has you taking a shallow gulp. "okay, well then i'm going to tell people it's tinkerbell as well."

you expect a protest but instead, "okay." that same expression on williams face, all soft and gooey until your stomach flips. "hey," he whispers, "we have the family skate friday. you should come."

"should I?" you tease.

"I want you to." as if william realized what he said, he sits up quickly, cleaning his throat, "kappy will be there after all."

you follow suit, sitting up, "right, of course."

he smiles, "i'll pick you up friday then."

you can't help but smile in return, "alright."

the clock that hangs on the wall tells you that it's late, well past midnight and it has you sighing: already dreading your early work day tomorrow. "I should probably go..." you start to push the blanket off, "I work early."

"what time? i'll drive you before skate." william says immediately, "i mean, you can stay over. like you said, it's late and maybe you shouldn't drive."

your heart flutters twice against your rib cage. "I work at 7, but it's fine, really, I don't want to intrude."

he shakes his head, "tuck yourself back in and watch the movie."

you snicker and do what he suggest, snuggling back under the fuzzy blanket that you shared with the blonde beside you. "bossy," you remark. willy just laughs into your shoulder.

a few minutes later you jolt, "an alarm." you say, your hands searching frantically under the cover. you finally locate your cell, but then willy hisses gently, jerking his body away from yours in a way that has you panicking.

"that's not your phone." he laughs awkwardly.

your face drops, "oh my god." you had totally just grabbed your friends dick in mistaking it for your phone. then you blush, "i'm so sorry!"

he just laughs at your panick, hand slipping out from under the blanket with your phone, "here's your phone."

you take it from him gingerly, closing your eyes with embarrassment. "willy, I-"

"it's okay," he smiles, "it's not like it was the worse thing in the world." his face falls when he realizes what he says, "no! that came out wrong, I didn't mean to sound so creepy."

his embarrassment is clear and it has you laughing gently, "now we are both embarrassed."

willy just smiles at you in a way that if you two weren't just friends, you would mistaken for lovingly. "yeah," he says gently.

you just look back towards the tv with a gentle smile.

you never did set your alarm.

—

"do you know how to skate?" william teases. he's wearing his practice gear still, just without his gloves. his bare hands placed on his hips as he observes you.

you give him a look, your hands gripping onto the outdoor rinks wall, skate covered feet still flat on the black padding of the makeshift bench area. he laughs at your unbothered expression, skating in a small circle before going still again. "yes, I know how to skate."

you still don't make a move to step out onto the ice, fingers going cold against the ledge.

"alright," william skates to the left slightly, "come on then."

you nod, gulping slightly when john tavares skates past you, his kid tucked between his legs as they zip through. your eyes meet william's again, "alright, I will."

without much more thought, you take a hesitant step onto the sheet of ice, your one foot quickly followed by the other. you still have a hold on the ledge but it doesn't seem that willy minds your pace, still waiting patiently behind you.

your head whips around when snow hits your jeans, zach coming to quick stop and effectively snowing your lower half. "hey!" you screech.

your best friend just laughs, "you're skating?"

you scoff, eyes squinting his direction. "yeah"

"y/n. you can't skate."

your mouth hangs open, another scoff escaping.

"I thought you said you could," william teases.

"I can!" you say in a tone of disbelief, still giving your giggling best friend a look, "just," you trial off, eyes moving around the rink as players and their families skate laps, "not well."

zach just laughs louder at your confession, and then he pats william on his shoulder, "good luck."

all you can do is laugh in pure shock, your best friends words still ringing in your ears. william just laughs along, which was...rude. he skates forward until he's close enough to touch, "c'mon."

his hand is extended towards you, an invitation to grab on. "i can skate just fine, I promise. I just suck with balance."

"I believe you," he smiles, "just grab my hand and i'll drag you along."

you look at his hands again, "okay, just...don't go too fast."

your cold hands grasp onto his, your grip tight on his much larger palms. "I won't."

immediately he takes off backwards, doing what he claimed and pulling you along, starting to take you both around for your first lap. even though he's skating backwards, he's dodging and zipping between the people effortlessly.

"i'm kind of impressed," you laugh, "you're really good at skating."

he gives you a look, "you do know i'm a professional, right?"

you laugh loudly, head falling back briefly. "okay! it's still impressive. don't make fun of me, i'm giving you a compliment."

"wouldn't dream of it," william insists, "thanks for the compliment." the two of you are almost back to where you started the lap. you can tell william is going slower than he could be for your sake, his teammates passing you both without effort. "okay," william starts, slowing down, "now your turn to try."

"what? no," william is already dropping your hands, somehow manoeuvring out of your death grip so that your standing alone. he doesn't leave you, but skates a couple meters back. "willy!" you whisper shout, arms out in front of you like bambi.

"skate towards me," he says.

you shake your head, "no, i'll fall."

"you won't," william assures, "and if you do, i'll catch you."

at the same time william finishes his scentence, rasmus is whirling past, laughing when you screech at the sounds of his skates tearing up the ice beside you.

"you got it," william says, effectively grabbing your attention again, "and then after this you can hold onto me again."

"promise?"

he laughs gently, "I promise."

"okay," you mumble to yourself, you look down at your feet but then remember every time zach had tried to teach you, hammering the rule that you definitely shouldn't look down when you're skating.

you meet williams eyes once again, using your left foot to push off, followed by your right foot. your arms are still trying to keep your balance, stuck out your sides. you're sure you resemble a baby giraffe learning to walk, but you can't find yourself caring, your feet still moving you towards william. "i'm doing it?"

your voice comes out as a question and it has him giggling, "you are. bend your knees a little more."

you smile brightly, almost close enough that you could reach out and grab onto the white jersey covering willy's shoulder pads. you're still feeling wobbly, just barley gliding on the ice, but it's still working - you hadn't fallen over. "there you go!"

"yeah, I think i'm -" your suddenly panicking, the pick of your skate catching a small dip on the ice's surface. then you arms are flailing at your sides, desperately trying to keep your balance so your face doesn't smack into the ice. but, you're already slipping, preparing yourself for the pain of falling.

"woah," william says, hands grabbing around your sides, fingers pressing under your rib cage to pull you up straight, effortlessly stopping your accident before it happens. "you okay?"

his eyes are filled with concern, dancing over your face as if to look for any injuries - even though there was no possible way. after all, he did save you.

you're slightly breathless, hands holding on tightly to william's biceps. "yeah...yeah i'm okay." looking around, you see a couple people's eyes linger, small smirks on their lips.

"want to stop?" william whispers, slightly crouched so he can look into your eyes.

you blush, "no, just keep skating with me before I die of embarrassment."

he laughs gently, breath tickling your frost bitten cheeks. "okay," he nods, immediately fulfilling your wishes. his hands leave your ribs, dragging down the underside of your arms until he's gripping your hands, skating backwards with you once again.

your eyes are still wandering, checking the people around you with your lip between your teeth, brows pulled together.

as if william can sense your worries, he tugs on your hands to grab your attention. "nobody is looking at you."

"what if - "

"- or making fun of you," he interrupts, "I promise."

you nod and willam smiles, changing direction so that you're the one now moving backwards, william skating forward as he pushes you gently along. the change of direction has him holding onto your waist, a better position for the movement. he can feel your grip on his muscles tighten, but you don't say anything, even a small laugh bubbling out as he spins you two quickly.

"oh gosh, willy!" your laughter is like music as you scold him, your words holding no bite with that smile beaming on your face - william effectively taking any lingering embarrassment you had been feeling and throwing it away. "you're going to make me dizzy."

he laughs, "you will be fine - " william starts, but his words are cut short, not watching where the two of we're going until he's backing you into a person, stopping all three of you from skating at the collision.

kappy grunts at the impact, his hands grabbing your shoulder from behind to stop you all from tumbling over. immediately, william lets go of you, and you spin around the best you can with your still shaky balance.

"woah," the finnish native mumbles, his deep tone burning your ears.

the sight of kappy's face as you blinking hard, your brain reminding you of why willy invited you to the family skate in the first place: and here he was in front of you.

"kappy, hey." you're breathing out. "sorry, we didn't mean-"

"my bad," william interrupts, his earlier chipper tone gone.

you nod gently, arms crossing over your chest but immediately dropping back to your sides, the loss of stability causing you to teeter slightly.

"all good," kappy says, "you guys having fun?"

"oh yeah," you smile brightly, blinking up at him slowly, "this is great fun."

"I saw your almost fall earlier," kappy laughs and it has your smile falling, "are you always that clumsy? first the vomit and then the slipping, you're full of surprises huh?"

you laugh awkwardly, "oh, umm-“

william says sharply, "she's not clumsy."

you send the blonde a harsh look, "no it's okay. I am," you turn back towards kappy, "-clumsy. very clumsy."

"no," william laughs in disbelief, "you're not-"

"heads up!" a voice calls out from somewhere on the rink. you look over to try and find the source of the commotion, but just as you do, a puck smacks fast into the boards, hitting a dip in the ice and flinging back through the air, smacking you right in the face.

you scream out, hands immediately flying to your nose. you can feel the hot liquid seep through your fingers, your blood dripping onto your coat.

"oh fuck," kappy gasps.

you can feel a hand press gently against your back, a slight rubbing movement over your white puffer.

"here," william says, "move your hands."

william has taken off his jersey, holding it right under your hands. when you take them away, he's immediately pressing the material to your face, catching the blood before it can hit the ice.

a small crowd has gathered around you, looks of concern and words of worry all flying around that have your head spinning. "fuck," you whine when willy applies some extra pressure.

"I know, sorry," he says quickly.

"i'm sorry!" the words are falling from jake muzzin's mouth, "my kids were fucking around and the puck just, like, flew through the air."

"it's okay," you wince, "i'll be fine."

"the medical staff are still here," aryne tavares says beside you. "you should get that checked out...that's a lot of blood. it might be broken."

her words have you groaning, tears welling up in your eyes.

"let me help you off the ice," william says. he's crouching down again so he can look into your eyes. all you can muster is a gentle nod, which makes william throw his free hand around your waist, helping you skate over to the exit with his jersey still held to your face.

the medical staff take notice of you two immediately, springing into action at the sight of your blood, taking you away from william and beginning their work.

by the time there putting a strip on your nose, the bleeding has mostly stopped. one of the medical personnel has put the cotton plugs up your nostrils, catching any lingering traces of bleeding. thankfully your nose isn't broken, just bruised and the next few days are to be expected with soreness and discolouration.

"how's it feel?" william joins you once again, still only wearing his shoulder and chest pad. you had been separated while the medical staff cleaned you up but now that they were done, he joined you once more.

"it's sore," you mumble. you don't even want to think how stupid you look with a bandaged nose and what you can also assume swollen face. "but i'll survive."

"you're so brave," his tone is teasing, sitting beside you gently. "i'm sorry."

"it's not your fault," you say, "it's nobody's fault."

he nods in agreement, "no but if I saw it coming I would've sacrificed my back to save your nose."

you giggle, which makes him smile. you wince at your face moving, fingers hovering over your nose. you sigh, "I can't believe i've been covered in another bodily fluid infront of the guy I like."

william just sighs gently. "don't worry about him right now."

"I can't help it," you groan. a beat passes, "everybody was definitely looking at me that time, huh."

william laughs in disbelief, "loser."

"yeah but i'm you're favourite loser," you lean in closer, bumping your side against his, "so you can't complain."

"you're right," he nods, "what would I do without you."

you laugh, "who knows."

the sound of zach calling out your name has your and willy's eye contact ending, your gaze now meeting your best friends as he approaches in a hurry. "are you okay, y/n?! I didn't even know you got hurt."

"i'm fine," you sigh, "just a little bloody."

"yeah," zach breathes, eyes darting down to you stained white coat and back, "I can see that."

then kappy comes up behind zach, a raise to his eyebrows as he takes in your face. he whistles lowly, "shit," he says, hands on his hips, "those black eyes are going to be knarly."

you don't take notice to the way williams jaw clenches.

"i'll look badass," you say.

kappy shrugs, "something like that."

zach covers his face in disbelief at your words, sending you a slight smile. "you're insane, y/n."

you just shrug. zach starts to talk with somebody on the medical team, assumingly grilling them with questions about your injury. kappy gets distracted by one of his teammates by the boards, walking off to join a conversation without another word.

you turn to willy, "can you get my boots?"

he just laughs gently, "yeah."

wasting no time in jogging to the bench where you both left your things, returning no less then two minutes later with your winter shoes in his hand. wordlessly, william leans down in front of you, fingers expertly untying your laces until their loose enough for him to slip off your skates.

your foot is tucked between his thighs while he tugs your boot on, patting the sides of your ankle once it was secure.

"thanks," you whisper, dropping your foot back to the ground.

your face starts to hurt a little more as time passes, and you can only dread how much it will ache when you wake up the following morning- already preparing the looks of shock from your co-workers.

william stands up from his crouched position. he's even taller on his skates as he looks down at you, a ghost of a smirk tugging his lips. he opens his mouth as if to say something but then he stops, pulling out his phone.

you fight the urge to scoff, about to tell him not to leave you hanging like that, but then he is pointing the phone at you, the click of the camera button alerting you to a photo being taken. "hey!" you say.

william laughs, observing the photo of you looking all pouty for a few more seconds before pocketing his phone.

"collecting future blackmail?" you ask with a laugh, an unimpressed raise to your brows.

"no." he shakes his head, "you just look cute."

oh.

you gulp.

"want to go home?" he asks you.

you shake your head slightly, clearing your throat. "yes."

william extends a hand to you, which you take immediately, letting him pull you to your feet. for the rest of the day you think about that damn picture and the reason it was taken.

you look cute.

—

a week passes before you see william again. the day after getting smacked in the nose with a hockey puck, zach and alanna kept you company at your apartment. you were jacked up on pain meds, which lead to a few loopy conversations with your two friends, most of them ending with you crying and feeling embarrassed in front of kappy - zach and his wife laughing awkwardly at your high state.

safe to say after your third venting session, you slept the rest of the day away - barley remembering the conversations you had (that is until zach calls you and laughs about it all: you hate him.)

liz visits you 4 days after the incident and you finally get a chance to talk to her about the idea of going out with william. she says maybe, and promises to think about it - which was a win as far as your concerned.

7 days after, william texts you and says he's growing bored without seeing your face, asking you for breakfast to talk about the kappy plans. you were already agreeing at the promise of a grilled cheese form your favourite cafe.

you pull open the heavy car door of williams vehicle, a bright smile on your face, cheeks rosy from the cold late february day. "hey."

"hi," william says, tossing his phone down as you take your seat. "you're healing nicely."

"I thought so" you agree. you are only left with the last stages of your black eyes, no marks or bruises on your nose anymore, barely tender when you touch it.

william puts the car in drive, pulling away from the curb and onto the busy toronto street. you grab the loose aux cord that was lying in the empty cup holder, immediately plugging it into your phone and queuing your favourite songs.

"so," willy starts, eyes darting over to your face quickly before they go back to the road, "there's something I want to talk about."

"you're making me a bit nervous," you admit, a light laugh emerging from your chest.

willy shakes his head, "no, nothing bad. it's just...," he takes a sigh, a beat passing, "I want you to be completely honest with me."

"always," you promise.

he takes another deep sigh, "what do you see in kappy?"

you blink hard at his question but stay silent.

"like I know he's my best friend," continues willy, "and I love him to death but he's not the most...loving person. he doesn't like relationships and he's not driven in that sense, like...at all. and if i'm being completely honest he's kind of a dick around you."

"what?" you whisper.

william looks empathetic, "he doesn't treat you the nicest way he could, don't you see that?"

you blink again because, no, you really haven't noticed anything bad when you're talking to kappy or anything odd when you're hanging around him. but then you think of the way that zach loves you, or the way andreas talks to you and how willy cares for you and kappy really doesn't stand out. you gulp, "I mean...he's maybe not the most affectionate but that doesn't mean he hates me-"

"no," william interrupts, "he doesn't hate you he just...doesn't treat you the way he should. and I don't want to upset you but I don't think you should continue pursuing him. i'm only saying this because you deserve better than my best friends shitty attitude."

you gulp.

"but with that being said - i'll still help you, y/n. if you still want him and you know kappy is what you want - i'll bud out. we will continue doing this," william looks over to you, "just tell me what you want."

you bite your lip, william's blue eye burning into yours before he has to look back to the road. you don't turn away though, eyes still studying his side profile. his sharp jaw and sloped nose, the way his earring shines in the sunlight.

you think about what he said, and all of it was true. you can see it now. you honestly don't know what to say. you would feel guilty if you had to tell william to stop, all of his time he spent helping you would be wasted. you're not sure you want to continue. that crush was much more fun when it was just a crush from afar, without the puke and the blood and the being left on the dance floor.

but it's working, you think. kappy and you feels different than it has in the past. with william around to help, something was changing.

"I want to keep doing this," you decide.

william just nods. "then we will keep doing it."

the tense moment is cut when the song changes, the familiar chords of ABBA flowing through the speakers quietly. william just smirks, bopping his head along to the beat until your smiling gently.

just as the chorus starts, william hits the steering wheel like a drum, turning briefly to you, "look into his angel eyes, one look and you're hypnotized!" he sings loudly.

your mouth hangs open in shock, a few laughs bubbling up your throat at his performance.

"he'll take your heart and you must pay the price - look into his angel eyes - "

you join in, "you'll think you're in paradise !"

you're both laughing for the entire song, belting the lyrics to one another as you cruise through the city. the song finishes and a new one starts, both of you breathless and smiling.

a beat passes, "thank you willy."

his smile flatters slightly and he swallows, "you don't have to thank me."

you just nod.

the gps alerts you both that you're only 3 minutes away from the eatery, directions telling william to get into the left lane as you approach the stop light.

your phone dings in your lap, pulling your gaze away from where you were still staring at william's side profile.

liz

i thought about it and i think i want to do it. i'll go out with william.

your face falls slightly. despite your unknown disappointment, you text back with as much enthusiasm you can rely through your phone.

y/n

oh okay !

y/n

want me to give you his number

y/n

i'm with him rn

liz

actually i was thinking we could maybe do a double date?youve been getting closer to kasperi, right? i dont know willy that well and you guys are friends! so i think it would be better that way

y/n

yeah

y/n

that sounds good

y/n

i'll let willy know

y/n

and he can let kappy know

y/n

okay 🥰

liz

kk let me know.

love u

willy is just parking against the curb in front of the cafe as you send your last text to liz. once the car is off, you turn towards him with a grin.

he laughs, "yes?"

"guess what I just got you."

williams brows furrow, "what?"

"a date with liz!," william tries to keep his smile on his face. "well, a double date. how does that new Teppanyaki place sound? you, liz, kappy and me?"

william blinks and nods, "umm, yeah. sounds good."

"okay," you mutter, "should I text kappy and ask or should you?"

"I can," william says, "it's easier to convince him when i'm able to guilt trip him."

you nod, "alright. it will be fun I think."

your stomach growls and that has the conversation ending, both of you heading in for a meal, setting plans in stone for the upcoming double date.

—

"are you excited?" your tone is hopeful as you look over to your left, hands gripping the steering wheel as you navigated the city.

you can see liz nod once before you have to look back to the street. she rubs her lips together, "i'm sure it will be good."

"you don't sound excited," you laugh awkwardly. out of the corner of your eye you can see her shoulders deflate. "you sound uninterested."

"I promise i'm interested," liz says, "it's just," she stops herself, eyes darting over to you. she watches the way you knaw on your lip, eyebrows pulled together in thought. "it's nothing. first date jitters I suppose."

you're still not to convinced, flicking on your turn signal. "okay."

liz clears her throat, "anything I should know about willy before we get there?"

you hum. "what do you mean?"

"like, I don't know," liz laughs, "what's his favourite food? or favourite movie? what's his favourite colour? something I can causally bring up so he knows i'm paying attention."

you swallow and take a sharp breath. "oh, umm," you laugh, "well his favourite movie is tinkerbell."

"really?"

you laugh again, "well, no. he says he doesn't have a favourite movie. I told him mine was tinkerbell and therefore I was going to tell people it was his too," you take a pause, "his favourite food is steak, but he's also big into any breakfast food. oh and he likes the colour purple."

liz is staring at you with an amused smile.

you continue, "you don't have to feel nervous, liz. willy is....the best."

"y/n.." liz wants to say something, you can tell by the tone of her voice. it has you laughing, pulling the car over as you reach the restaurant.

"looks like we are here!" thankfully, you snag a parking spot right infront of the Teppanyaki style restaurant, switching the car off once you park.

"willy said we can just walk in, there's no reservation or anything."

"alright," liz nods, following suit and unbuckling her seatbelt.

"dude, why do you look so nervous?" kappy's voice has william looking away form the door, the leg that was previously bouncing under the table top coming to a halt.

"i'm not nervous," william argues, "i'm just...aren't you nervous? this is a date."

kappy just shrugs adjacent to him, "it's just y/n...we're friends. why would I be nervous."

william's jaw ticks, "it's not just - "

"hey!" the sound of your bright voice as william stopping, turning around his in chair to see you and liz walking towards them.

william stands, "hey," he swallows as he takes you in, the nerves he was definitely feeling earlier are still there, butterflies fighting in the lining of his stomach. "how are you guys?"

"good," you smile. liz agrees, her smile just as bright and flattering as yours, but william doesn't notice it.

"saved you a spot, y/n/n," the voice of kappy has willy exhaling, blinking hard as your eyes widen at the finnish accent.

you squeeze the blondes shoulder as you sneak past him, taking the empty stool beside kappy. you watch the way william smiles at liz, bringing her into a friendly hug. suddenly your stomach turns and you have to look away as they chat. eventually they sit down, liz on the corner beside you and william next to her.

"you look nice," kappy's words are gentle on your side, two fingers picking a piece of your hair and dropping it over your shoulder. "who's got you all dressed up like this?"

you shrug, "oh I don't know," his smirk has you laughing gently, "why? do you think I should dress like this more often?"

his eyes dart down to your top, that familiar shade of red adorning your chest. "red's my favourite colour." kappy smirks.

"really?" you fane innocence.

william clears his throat loudly and it has your eyes darting over to find his but you're only met with his face in the menu, not even a glance in your direction. you frown gently at that.

liz nudges you, eyes quickly meeting yours. "what are you going to get?"

"I don't know," you admit, picking up the menu infront of you. all of you are silent for a few minutes, reading over the menu trying to ignore the unreadable tension that looms around the four of you.

the flames in front of you ignite, the warmth of the fire has you moving back - snapping you out of your own mind bubble. you wouldn't be surprised if -

"oh my god," liz whispers.

"what?" you ask quickly, dropping your menu.

her eyes are on you, an expression on her face that has your stomach plummeting. "that totally singed your brows."

you eyes widen, "what?"

kappy laughs as you pull out your phone, the cell acting as a mirror as you look over your face. you're met with your brows, very much looking crispy. you whine, brushing away any loose hairs.

"are you hurt?" william asks.

"no," you say. you're thankful you filled your brows in, any areas of natural brow hairs that may be now be splotchy, are coating in a thick pomade. "i'm okay."

"honestly, you can't really tell now that the singed hairs are gone." liz's tone is hopeful and it has you nodding, pocketing your phone.

the cook at your table finally makes his way to your groups corner, platting up the mouth watering range of food.

"are you sure you're okay?" william asks you again and you nod harshly.

"i'm fine." you meet his worried expression and immediately regret your tone of voice. he doesn't look away. "I promise."

then you all start eating, small talk and laughter bounces between all of you. kappy's hand keeps grazing your arm, which in theory means he's flirting with you, which is why you are surprised when your body doesn't react. in fact, you almost feel nothing at the way his fingers tickle your skin.

liz gives you a subtle wink when she notices the way kappy's arm dangles across the back of your chair so you force a smile. but then you meet williams eyes, and your smile falls. he looks away, back towards kappy and their conversation.

a phone buzzes and it has you looking over just as kappy's phone is lit up, an array of notifications flood his lock screen, but the top one catches your attention.

lacy

wanna come over ?

you blink, looking away. kappy grabs it quick, wordlessly typing out his response with a small smirk - but you catch it.

suddenly you feel icky, and once again you feel like you're standing alone out on a dance floor. tears are gathering in your waterline, you can feel them as they brim and it has you clearing your throat softy. you reach out for your cup of water, but you go in too fast and way too quickly, smacking the side of cup so that all its contents spill out, covering your lap.

your sudden stand as william and liz stopping their conversation, worried eyes finding you standing with a soaked pair of pants.

"sorry," you don't even know who are are apologizing to, hurriedly grabbing a napkin and trying to soak up the liquid from your jeans.

a few tears roll down your cheeks and you don't dare look up, still rubbing furiously at your pants. "sorry, i'm just," then as if you can feel them, you look up and meet williams eyes, swimming with what could only be pity for you - being clumsy again and running your chances with kappy. "i'm going to go to the bathroom," you finally mumble, speeding away from the table and through the busy restaurant.

you round the corner of the bathroom hallway, and once you're out of eye sight you break down - not even making it into the actual bathroom before you're crying, covering your face. you feel so embarrassed. why is it, you think, anytime you're progressing with kappy something has to go wrong.

even worse, when he's giving you attention you don't feel anything anymore. what is wrong with you?

quick footsteps have you looking up. william comes to a halt, stopping right in front of you.

you sniff, "sorry, do you need to use the bathroom?" you side step him, moving over so he could push open the door.

but he doesn't move. "no," willy shakes his head, "I came to make sure you were okay."

"oh," you mumble.

"are you? okay?"

you feel a fresh roll of new tears fall down your cheeks and you don't even want to think how much of a mess you look. "no."

"c'mon," william whispers, nodding towards the bathroom door. you follow him wordlessly into the single use bathroom, letting him lock the door behind you both.

the bathroom is rather spacious, but it was a fancy restaurant, so you're not sure what else you would expect. it was painted a warm colour, a long granite counter top with a sink and fancy soaps. a bidet toilet, which if you weren't so miserable would've had you giggling, always finding the idea funny. the bathroom was darker than a normal bathroom, it was actually really relaxing.

"i'll dry your pants." william's words have you snapping out of your thoughts. he's standing by the hand dryer patiently.

you give him a gentle nod. without thinking much of it, you unbutton your jeans, wiggling out of the wet denim until they hit the floor around your ankles. you don't even feel embarrassed as you stand in your zebra print underwear. you had already taken your shoes off before your pants, leaving you to walk bare foot towards willy, your wet jeans in your grip.

he doesn't say anything, eyes burning into yours when he takes the pants.

the hum of hand dryer starts moments after, the quiet ambiance of the bathroom filled with the loud wind. you wipe your face before lifting yourself to sit on the counter top. the cold temperature of the surface has your bare legs shivering, but you don't show it, quietly watching william as he dries your clothes.

5 minutes later the dryer stops. "thankfully they weren't too soaked, would've taken longer to dry." willy says, walking towards you with your very much dry jeans.

"thanks," you say with a sad smile, taking the pants from his hands. "i've ruined your date."

your statement has william frowning, "you did not ruin my date. you could never ruin anything for me."

"but i've embarrassed you - and myself!," you head falls back against the mirror, "my fucking eyebrows are burnt, i spilt water on my crotch so it looked like i pissed myself - and kappy isn't even interested...he was texting lacy," you look down, "and I don't even care about that honestly, i'm just...feeling defeated. I can't believe I was stupid enough to think this would work. I probably look ridiculous."

william's jaw clenched. he steps into your personal space, his jordan's now visible in your sight. it has you looking up gently, meeting his face only mere inches from yours. "you look beautiful."

you gulp. willy's thick thighs bump against your bare knee caps and it has your legs separating more than they had been, welcoming his body between them.

willy's eyes dance over your face before he gently grabs your cheeks, keeping you in place as you tilt up to look at him. "I hate hearing you talk badly about yourself."

all you can muster is a gentle nod, your cheeks rubbing against his palms at the movement. his thumb brushes against your cheek bone and it has you taking a shaky breath, one of your hands reaching up the rest on his chest.

just when you think he may lean in, there's a knock on the door, bursting the two out of your bubble. william jumps back as you slip off the counter, pulling your jeans on.

"you guys okay?" liz's voice is muffled through the door.

you brush past willy, pulling open the door to meet you worried friends expression.

"we are fine. william was just drying my jeans for me. thanks again."

he just nods breathlessly.

"are you sure you're okay?' liz asks you and you push a smile.

"yeah, but I think I want to head home," you clear your throat, running a hand through your hair. "I can give you some money, william, for my portion of the bill."

"no," he says quickly, "don't. it's on kappy and I."

you don't respond. "liz, are you going to come back with me?"

"absolutely," she says. and then you leave the bathroom, bidding goodbye to kappy before you and liz leave, driving silently while you drown in your own head, the events of the night whirling in a pool inside your brain.

20 minutes later you pull up outside liz's apartment.

the blond unbuckled her seatbelt but she doesn't open the door, only turns fully towards you with a sad expression. "i'm sorry about tonight."

you shrug, "nothing to be sorry about."

after a beat of silence, liz sighs, pulling on the handle of the door until it opens. "he's like totally into you, you know that, right?"

"he was literally answering another girl beside me, liz."

she furrows her brows. "what? no, not kappy." liz sighs, "willy."

"what? no. we are just good friends."

she laughs like she doesn't believe you, "seriously? i'm not buying that."

shocked, you huff, "well buy it. if he liked me why on gods green earth would he offer to help me get with his best friend?"

a moment passed, "y/n, he probably just wanted to spend more time with you."

you gulp and don't say anything. you feel like you could cry again.

"it's okay," liz says, "I was never really into him and if i'm being honest, I only agreed to go on this double date so you'd be happy. i'm sorry."

you sniffle, "don't be sorry. it's okay."

she just smiles softly, "okay," a beat passes, "and I think you might like him too."

and then she leaves.

1:58 a.m.

willy 💙

im sorry if i made you uncomfortable. it's the last thing i want to do

y/n

you didn't

y/n

i'm sorry too

willy 💙

what are you sorry for?

y/n

if i made it awkward

y/n

i feel like it got really tense in the bathroom

willy 💙

tense?

y/n

yeah

y/n

i was just really upset and i felt unwanted

y/n

i shouldn't of touched you like that

y/n

and i should've kept my pants on lol

y/n

let's just forget it happened

willy 💙

you want to forget it happened?

y/n

yes

willy 💙

okay.

—

not once had you forgotten about your conversation with liz since the double date. not a minute goes by without being reminded of what happened - or almost happened- in the bathroom with willy.

there was no way william liked you. you had thought over every interaction you two had had, and you can't see a reason why he would think of you of anything more than a friend. and he was a great friend, you loved the swede for it. he cared for you and was patient with you and he was your number one wing man. just like he promised he would that night when he came up with the plan, he has helped you with kapseri kapanen.

kappy had texted you a week and two days after the date, talking about the leafs charity gala and how he wants you to go with him.

you respond enthusiastically, accepting his invitation. even if you weren't ending up with kappy as your date, you're positive you would've been some other leafs date - just like usual. when zach brought it up three days after kappy asked you, you told him about kappy and zach had been happy for you: the plan was working. but you didn't feel happy, you felt sort of empty.

you hadn't texted, spoken to or met with willy since he texted you late after the double date. the conversation ended with a pit laying heavy in your stomach, sleep not coming easy thinking of his response.

you've embarrassed him, you think. you have truly pushed it with all this kappy stuff and you've embarrassed yourself and him. so you don't reach out, and he doesn't either, leaving you feeling nothing short of heartbroken.

the leafs gala raising money for cancer research was only a week away. you panic texted zach and alanna that you had nothing to wear and begged for them to join you and help you pick a dress suitable for the event.

so that next afternoon you and alanna browsed through the colourful racks of some expensive dress shop, the blond pulling out options she deemed suitable and passing them to the sales clerk, who adds them to your growing dressing room.

zach isn't close, currently scrolling his phone as he lounges on one of those boyfriend designated couches. you make sure he isn't in earshot and then you turn towards alanna, "remember last week when liz and I went on a double date with kappy and willy?"

she laughs lightly, "yes i remember."

"well, something happened."

alanna gives you an suspicious glance, passing a ruffled red dress to the clerk, "what?"

you clear your throat, "after i spilt my water on myself, and willy helped me dry them, we umm, I think we almost kissed."

her eyes goes wide, "you and willy?"

you sigh, fingers playing with the silky material of a lilac dress, "yeah and i'm pretty sure i freaked him out and put him in an awkward situation and...i feel like i fucked it all up."

"i'm sorry," she pulls you into her side, "have you talked to him?"

"not since we texted that night. I said we can forget about the whole situation and he just said okay. it just felt tense and i kind of miss him."

"I think maybe you should reach out," alanna says gently, "tell him how you feel." her eyes dart behind you, and her smile flatters. "or you could tell him now." her words are whispered out the side of her mouth.

"what?" you whisper, spinning around. you see william walking into the dress shop, a gentle smile on his face as zach greets him. "how is he here?"

"hey guys!" zach calls out, "I invited willy to help."

"great!" alanna calls back. you and william send each other a tight lipped smile, the two boys making their way over to you and alanna. zach seems to be oblivious to the tension, smiling as they approach.

"need any more help picking out options? willy and I are the best dressers I know."

you grab the purple dress you had been previously fiddling with, "no, actually, i've just chosen my last one."

the sales clerk rushes over and takes it from you.

"okay," zach smiles, "well let's start this fashion show!" he claps his hands.

"zach, maybe - " alanna starts but zach is already walking away, willy following in his steps, hands shoved awkwardly into his puffer coat.

you don't look at willy before entering the dressing room, pulling the curtain closed so even if he wanted to say anything, he wouldn't have the chance. not that you wanted to shun him, you just didn't want to face the embarrassment.

you slip on a green dress, you don't love it but alanna does, vocalizing her feelings as soon as you draw back the curtain. "i do love it but i think courtney is wearing that colour."

you just nod, stepping back into the room to try something different. your next option is the red one, with a big skirt that is way to prom-like for the gala, but you pull back to curtain anyways.

"it's cute!" alanna exclaims, but her face is hesitant.

zach must agree because he winces, "it's a bit...out there."

you spin in the mirror, observing the back.

"I like the colour," she continues, "what do you think?"

you hum, "I feel like i'm going to prom."

zach laughs, throwing his head back. "I wasn't going to say it."

"red isn't your colour," william interrupted.

oh.

all you can muster is quick nod, walking back into your changing room. changing out of the puffy dress quickly before slipping into the silk material of a different one.

when you head back into the main area, you're only met with the bright eyes of william, zach and alanna nowhere in sight.

"where'd they go?" you ask, eyes looking down at your feet as you make your way infront of the mirrors.

william shakes his head slightly, "they went off back into the retail section."

you just hum, observing yourself and the dress. it was absolutely stunning. for only grabbing it as a distraction, it was the most perfect dress you'd ever worn. the light purple shade complemented you skin wonderfully. the silk wrapped up around one shoulder, giving a unique shape - but the dress was still appropriate enough for the event. you knew it was the one.

"you look amazing," williams words are pretty much a whisper. you met his eyes through the mirror and he's looking at you so gently it has your stomach flipping.

"thank you," you say just as gently. you spin around to face him. in a moment of boldness you step of the slightly raised pedestal, walking until you are standing right in front of him. "why did you come?"

"zach asked me to."

you huff, "yeah but why did you agree?"

his brows pull together, "why are you annoyed?"

"i'm just asking, willy. why are you here?"

he stands, "that's a great question, actually. why am i here?" you swallow but don't speak, willy continues, "I don't really know what I did for you to brush me off  this past week but you could of at least talked to me about it."

you scoff, "i'm sorry but i'm not the only one to blame for our lack of communication, william. i'm just trying to make you comfortable! i told you we can forget about it and move on but clearly that's not enough. you're also stopping communication from me."

"you're not even making sense," willy huffs. "I backed off for you!"

"backed off? why on earth would you even need to back off?"

his adam apple bobs in his throat, eyes reaching yours frantically as if to try and analyze what you were feeling. "the reason why we're even in this situation is because of kappy," willy breathes, "that's what this is. an exchange of a stupid promise to help you get kappy."

"a stupid promise? are you seriously saying this to me. it's not just about - "

willy interrupts with a sarcastic chuckle, "and look at you right now. trying on fucking dresses for a gala that he invited you to. so it worked, you got kappy. we can stop this now."

you fight the urge to cry, anger and disappointment bubbling deep in your chest. "I don't want - "

he stops you, "to answer your question, I don't know why i'm here so i'll just leave. i'll see you at the gala."

willy turns on his heels, grabbing his discarded coat from the couch. just before he leaves the area he looks at you again, his tone bitter "you should get the red...it is his favourite colour after all."

and then he leaves you by yourself.

you frown, wiping at your eyes before any tears have a chance to fall.

—

you decide to meet kappy at the scotiabank arena. it gives you time to collect your thoughts before seeing willy again, which you very much needed.

you get ready in silence, emotionless as you curl your hair and apply your makeup. slipping into the silk purple dress and nude heels.

the mid march air is still chilly, prompting you to grab your nicest jacket before leaving your place and making the familiar drive to the leafs arena.

kappy meets you in the sporting garage, complementing you nicely and guiding you with a hand on your lower back as you both made your way into the event. you smiled brightly for photos, laughing with zach and posing with kappy.

the gala is so beautiful. the usual hockey ice covered with a beautiful flooring, the arena decorated appropriately with tables and chairs all around, sponsors, coaches, staff and players all in attendance. for what it was worth, you were having a good time.

"alright," you huff, placing down your vodka cranberry and pushing up off the table, "it's time to dance."

kappy groans, laughing when he throws his head back.

"I wouldn't argue," zach laughs but there's a heavy underlay to his words. it works though, kappy joining you to stand and guiding you into the dance floor around his teammates and coaching staff alike.

a slow taylor swift song was dripping through the speakers, her gentle voice soothing you as kappy grabs your waist, your arms filling suit as the move up towards his shoulders, loosely resting around his neck.

the two of you move slowly, swaying to the music. "i'm surprised that you didn't come with willy."

you try not to scoff. "well, you are the one who asked me."

kappy's eyebrows draw together, "only because he told me that he wasn't going to ask you."

you mimick his confused expression.

kappy continues, "he was the one who told me to reach out and ask you. I like you, y/n and you're a great friend and i mean no offence when I say i probably wouldn't have asked you if he didn't mention anything."

"oh," you hum. his words don't bother you as much as they once would have, "no offence taken. you're a great friend, kappy. i'm sorry anytime we hang out something embarrassing happens."

he laughs at that, "I don't mind. after all willy was always there to save the day - nothing embarrassing about that."

all you can do is nod. in that moment you think of what kappy just said, and you realize even if you and willy hadn't fought and the kappy plan was still in motion - it wouldn't go anywhere. kappy saw you as a friend, and for the first time in awhile that didn't stab a dagger through your heart. if anything, you felt relived. you think kappy and you are better off as friends and that has you laughing.

"what's so funny?" the finnish native inquires.

"nothing really," you mumble, "just - "

you stop yourself, stomach falling to the floor. you watch as willy dances with a girl, both laughing and swaying to the music only mere feet from you.

"ah shit," kappy mumbles.

you won't let yourself get upset, you think. so you look away harshly, back into kappy's eyes. he can tell your smile is forced, but he doesn't mention anything - your eyes say enough. "i'm fine."

it's not long after you initially spot him, you find william again. your eyes meet across the dance floor and almost simultaneously both of your smiles drop. but before he can blink, you're looking away. willy is only left watching your purple dress move aorund your ankles.

a few hours later you exit the bathroom, eyes downcast as you fiddle with your bengals covering your wrist. you come to a stop as you brush somebodies chest, dragging your eyes up until you're looking into a familiar shade of blue.

"sorry," you mumble, side stepping his path.

william grabs your arm, stopping you from walking away. "you're wearing purple."

you don't let your emotions come through, only shrugging. "it was the best dress." you look at him harshly, "you asked kappy to take me tonight?"

william just sighs at your question, shoulders deflating.

"not only that, but you had to lie in order for him to ask me. why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to upset you."

"out of everything you've said to me in the past two weeks, that would've been the nicest possible thing."

he sighs sadly again. "I didn't want it to hurt you," willy's voice is strained, hands held out in your direction like he was approaching a scared kitten.

"then maybe you should've asked me instead."

he looks taken back but you can't even find it in yourself to be embarrassed at your confession. you were done hiding these emotions and feeling embarrassed for being yourself.

"y/n...I need to - "

"william?" a feminine voice calls down the hallway, heels clicking as the same woman he was dancing with approaches you both, a sweet smile on her face. "sorry to interrupt." she says.

you laugh, "no it's okay, he's all yours."

you push past, shoulder bumping into his as you leave, walking away from william with your heart breaking along the way.

—

march 17th 10:43 a.m.

willy 💙

i'm sorry. i fucked up

and i hate fighting with you

willy 💙

you don't have to respond

but i needed to apologize

—

april 17th

you meet up with zach and tell him about you're feelings for william. you start with the family skate and vent about the bathroom, the fight at the dress store and the conversation at the gala. zach holds you while you cry.

playoffs are cut short once again for the leafs and it puts an ever bigger damper on willy's mood. everyday he wakes up and see if you've responded to his texts, only to be met with read.

—

may 17th

you go out with the team for drinks. now that the seasons over, they can let loose a bit more than they typically would. you dance with steph all night, avoiding willy at all costs.

you get so drunk that zach has to take you home early.

willy can't keep his eyes off you, even when he's pulled into a conversation, he always ends up watching you. he regrets not going up to you.

willy goes home alone.

—

june 17th

you still haven't responded to williams messages and you haven't seen him in person for longer than a fleeting second. you think about him every day.

willy thinks about reaching out again, but he doesn't want to push. he also thinks about watching tinkerbell, but he decides against it. he thinks about you every day.

—

july 17th

you go on a date with a new guy from work. the whole time you think of blonde hair and blue eyes. you don't see him again.

kappy tries to set willy up with one of his friends, but he declines.

—

august 17th

you almost reach out to willy - you are tired of pretending you're over him.

willy visits the cafe where the two of you first discussed your plans, ordering the same cheesy croissant sandwich. he almost sends you a picture of the food. he misses you.

kapseri kapanen gets traded to the pittsburg penguins.

—

august 20th

3:13a.m.

y/n

in swijdiu

y/n

sorreyu

y/n

sorry

y/n

i'm a litytle drunbk

y/n

i miass youu do musch willy

y/n

si shouydve repsonde when u txted me in apriul

y/n

i wabnt u

y/n

my swo sorry

the next morning you wake up with a pounding head, vision blurry when you try and look around. miracles must exist, you think, because even in your drunk state you had taken off your makeup and changed out of your bar clothes.

you groan, pulling back your covers so you can stumble to the bathroom. you pop some ibuprofen and turn on the shower, the steam warming the room and soothing your aches and pains.

you don't remember a thing from the night before, your drunk escapades with steph and sydney falling short, your memories blurry. all you can be happy about is that you actually made it home in one piece.

the shower has made you feel 100 times better, enabling you to successfully dress yourself and make something to eat without wanting to crawl back into bed and just rot away.

mid way through dishes a knock sounds at your door. you hadn't even checked your phone all morning, expecting it to be one of the girls to be stopping by. you stop cleaning, pulling open your front door.

willy stands there, eyes wide as he takes you in. "I texted you."

you gasp slightly, eyes blown wide as you take him in. your face falls, thinking about his texts back from april that you left on read. "i know."

he sighs gently, running a hand through his messy hair. "you never answered." he looks at you sadly.

"i know..." you sigh. you think about the last time you and him talked, the way you walked away from him and that girl at the gala.  "who was that girl at the gala." you're knawing at your lip as you await his answer.

"some random girl auston knows...I haven't even talked to her since then." you don't say anything so he speaks again, "I messaged you this morning."

you frown at his confession, "why?"

"you texted me first." he says quickly.

flashes of your night pass by then. you vaguely remember crying about the swede to your two friends, crying even harder as you texted on your phone.

your face pales. "I was really drunk. I don't know what I said but i'm sorry - "

he takes a step forward, entering your apartment and shutting the door behind him. you let him in your space wordlessly, neck tilted back so you can look up at him.

willy takes a deep breath, "I fucked up, y/n. I shouldn't have been so mean to you and there's no excuse for the way I acted. I regret the conversation we had at the dress shop and the one at the gala - i haven't stopped thinking about them in months."

"no, willy, I shouldn't of been so cold towards you. I should've talked to you -"

"don't even apologize. it was my fault, I..," he pauses, taking a deep breath, "I was angry because I didn't want to forget about what happened in the bathroom. I wasn't even angry you - i was angry with myself for not telling you how I was feeling."

"what are you saying?" your whisper holds a little hope, arms dropping limp at your sides as you take in the man before you.

"i love you," william breaths a laugh, "i love that you never text in paragraphs and separate sentences that dont need to be. i love that you're scared of vomit, and i love it when you get hangry and i love it even more when you take enormous bites and get food all over yourself.

I love how beautiful you are, how smart you are, how brave you are and how confident you are. I love how much you care about me and even when it was about kappy you were always thinking of me, finding comfort in me, listening to me."

"willy..." you words hold disbelief.

"i'm not done," he says gently, "nothing about you ever needed to change - especially for some guy who honestly, didn't give you the time of day you deserve. I love you for you! you're clingy and like the tinkerbell movie and wear animal print underwear. I love everything that makes you you, and anytime you would change yourself for kappy I wanted to tell you all this - but I didn't because I wanted to make you happy. and he made you happy...so i budded out."

your eyes fill with tears. mouth opening and closing like a fish while you take in his confession.

"i've been in love with you this whole time, y/n, I would do anything for you. so that's why I helped you with kappy, not because I wanted you to be with him but because I wanted to see you happy."

his final confession as you melting because the guy you fell in love with - the guy you pushed yourself away from in fear of not being loved back - has been in love with you since before you even knew it.

"do you mean it?"

he laughs awkwardly, moving towards you until he can touch you. william holds your face, looking down at you the way he always does. "I do."

"promise me."

he shakes his head in amused disbelief, "I promise." his thumbs wipe away at your tears, gently stroking your skin.

you push up on your toes, hands sliding up williams chest until they reach his neck, interlocking fingers behind his head for leverage as you bring your lips to his.

kissing william was nothing short of perfect. his lips were gentle with you, slotting between yours like a perfect puzzle. you two mold together like you've done it before: the kiss came easy. you moan into his mouth when he sucks on your bottom lip.

you drop back to the heels of your feet, willy's lips chasing yours as you move.

you're smiling when you pull away, both of you breathing deeply as you regain composure. william laughs gently, his breath tickling your nose and it has you smiling wider.

"I love you so much," you finally say. although willy wasn't expecting a confession back, he was relived to hear one from you, shoulders deflating with a happy sigh. "willy, I stopped liking kappy after the bar. I just didn't realize it until it was too late. I'm sorry for not talking to you about how I was feeling.

i'm even more sorry for putting you through plans that involved me trying to get with your best friend. i'm also sorry for not kissing you in the bathroom because...I really wanted to."

he just laughs, shaking his forehead against yours, "it's okay - you're kissing me now."

you smirk, "yeah," you push back up and nudge your nose against his perfectly sloped one, "and i'm going to do it again."

—

February 2021

william chuckles awkwardly, a blush creeping up his muscled chest. "well, actually...we're sort of dating."

willy expects kappy to be shocked, maybe react loudly and laugh in disbelief but he doesn't. his friend just smirks at him across the table, brows raised as if urging willy to continue.

"no. not sort of, actually. i'm in love with her and she's in love with me and we've been dating since august."

"so you finally grew a pair and asked her out?" kappy teases.

william just laughs, "well, she kind of asked me. I just word vomited a love confession at her and she took control and...well, now we are here."

"I knew you liked her." kappy says after a moment of silence, the same teasing smirk still on his face.

"how?"

"that picture of her with the busted up nose has been your home screen since you took it."

damn, willy thinks, kappy has him there.

the conversation continues between them, sharing laughs and catching up over their dinner until they need to part ways. they would see each other tomorrow when the penguins hit the ice to play the leafs, so their goodbye isn't all too bad.

willy arrives home just after 9, stomach full with a smile on his face. his two dogs rush to his aid, jumping up against his legs in search of affection and kisses from their dad.

"hey," the sound of your voice as willy looking up just as your round the corner, clad in sweats and your glasses. "how was dinner?"

he pulls you into his side, "was good," his words are mumbled against your lips, willy bringing you into a toe - curling kiss that had your stomach doing flips.

"i missed you when you were gone," you giggle.

he raises a brow at you, dogs now sitting peacefully at both your feet. "you promise?"

you throw you head back with a laugh at his question, the position giving willy free access to attack your neck in kisses. "I promise."

───────── ౨ৎ ─────────

[fyofyofyofyo]

i dont know who i am anymore

im really glad to have put my emotions in this drawing and using my favorite character as my model. nowadays i have been struggling with my mental health, especially existential crisis.

last night at 12am, i was genuinely dissociating so much that i forgot to turn off the water pump in our house, which would have resulted to either a flood in the bathroom or a small explosion.

to help me cope, i drew this, hoping to express existential crisis and not draw my usual like pastel art.

my dreams which mock me don't help at all. i dont like it when it does that, like when one of them said that nothing is real, i am just an illusion, after death is nothing but blank, and that everyone else has the same face except for me.

i have no idea who i am at this point and i feel like i dissociate more often. i do not have a medical diagnosis, but im planning to take one around february 13. :) thank you for liking the concept of the art! i hope i really showed what existential crisis was like for me, only having parts of me show who i am and not me entirely.

aside from the aesthetic, mikoto kayano tops as my number one kin. the words he said in the trailer of trial three made me relate so bad.

i dont know who i am anymore.

[theterrorfebruaryflash]

Happening now: The Terror February Flash 2025!

The Terror February Flash is an annual fest celebrating our cold boys via fic, art, vids, and other forms of fannish expression.

Why February? Because Something Something Valentine's Day. Why Flash? Because this is a low-pressure, almost-anything-goes prompt meme with a short creation period.

This is mostly a P!atC Server Event, where we will rejoice and squee about each work coming in during February, but anyone with an AO3 account can participate. We'll also post a masterlist to Tumblr at the end of the event.

Schedule for 2025:

Sign-ups and prompt posts: Jan 28 - Feb 6 Prompt claims and creation period: Feb 6 - Feb 28 Works can be posted to the collection any time during the creation period.

Prompts and fills can be posted anonymously if desired.

FAQ

Is this a fic exchange?

No. February Flash is a prompt meme, that means participants will not get matched one-on-one and assigned to a gift recipient as is the case in exchanges. So no one is guaranteed a "gift", but there's also much less pressure on participants. Members sign up and post prompts until the defined deadline (see the schedule). Prompts can be claimed by anyone who has an account on the AO3, and the resulting fanworks need to be posted to the collection any time during the creation phase according to schedule. If you need more detailed information on how a prompt meme works (e.g. how to edit your prompts, where to find your claimed prompts etc), please see this section in the AO3 FAQ.

Do I need to be signed up to claim & fill a prompt? What if I missed the sign-up phase?

Admittedly, the term "sign-up" is a tiny bit misleading. The "sign-up" form is for submitting your prompts; if you would like to claim & fill prompts without submitting a prompt yourself, then you do not need to go through the "sign-up" form. Just browse the list of prompts other fans submitted and use the "claim" button to pick whatever tickles your muse. When you claim a prompt it shows up under "My claims" on the collection profile and under "Claims" on your own dashboard. Use the "fulfil" button to post your work, please.

Is this an anonymous event? Will there be author reveals at any point?

Prompt submission happens anonymously by default; you can override this if you want. By default all works submitted to the collection will be anonymous. There won't be a big creator reveal at the end of the fest, but creators can choose individually whether they want a specific work to stay anonymous or not by letting the mod know.

Can I crosspost my fic/art/vid/etc. to Tumblr/Bluesky/Twitter?

Certainly, if you don't mind deanoning yourself! You can crosspost anywhere you want to (use the tag #theterrorfebruaryflash or ping @theterrorfebruaryflash on Tumblr), but in order for the work to be part of the collection, you need to also post it on the AO3 via the claim/fill button. Don't just link to your art, please, but embed it in the work page.

Rules

1. February Flash is an event for adults as some prompts or fanworks might be mature or explicit. By taking part you confirm that you are 18 or older.

2. The focus of your work must be on the show The Terror, season 1. AUs, RPF, and crossovers with other fandoms are allowed.

3. All ratings are welcome in this fest. Don't shy away from explicit stuff; prompt memes have a history of PWP works. However, when you fill a prompt please stick to the preferred rating of the prompter (if stated in the prompt).

4. All genres welcome, including darker subjects if the prompter asks for them (as long as DNWs are respected). Use the AO3 warnings if applicable.

5. All categories (slash, gen, femslash, multi, QPR etc.) and pairings welcome!

6. Prompts can be filled by more than one person. You can even fill the same prompt multiple times – the "fulfil" button will show up on the prompt you claimed even if you have already used it for posting a work before.

7. Participants can fill as many prompts as they want to. You can even fill your own prompt.

8. Please list your DNWs (Do-Not-Wants) in the prompt if you want to avoid certain types of content, e.g. rape or permanent character death or specific tropes. When you submit several prompts, please state your DNWs for each. We kindly ask you to not abuse the DNW system: keep it short and simple, and don't box in your creator. You cannot DNW a type of fanwork (e.g. art, podfic etc.) unless there is an honest reason for this (e.g. if vids make you dizzy or you cannot enjoy visual art due to medical restrictions, then it is of course important to mention this). When you fill a prompt, please respect the DNWs listed in the request.

9. All types of fanworks are welcome in this fest: fic, poetry, filks, art, vids, podfic, 3D-crafts, textile art etc. Embed your image/video/audio on the work page. Made a giant cake in the shape of the tuunbaq? Post the photos. Even if a prompt is phrased for fic, it can still be used as inspiration for all kinds of fanworks. The spirit of this fest is: pretty much anything goes as long as you respect the prompter's maximum rating, the chosen pairing(s) (if any), and the DNWs. A prompt is not a commission – artistic license is very welcome here, and our creators are encouraged to use the details given in the prompts as inspiration, not as a list of requirements.

10. Minimum word count for written fanworks is 100 words, with the exception of poetry (no minimum word count for poems). There is no maximum word count. Minimum for art: a doodle or clean sketch (on unlined paper, if you use traditional media); manips are permitted. No banner or icon art, please, unless it accompanies a work of fiction. Absolutely no AI-generated art or fic or vids allowed!!

11. Fanworks in languages other than English are allowed. As this is not a one-on-one gift exchange, but a prompt fest, fanworks in languages other than English are absolutely permitted and welcome! Each prompt can inspire a wide variety of fanworks, and as long as you respect the DNWs and the maximum rating of the chosen prompt, it’s all fine!

12. Works posted to the collection must be new (created for this fest and unpublished) and complete. No WIPs or placeholder uploads! If you post a work with more than one chapter, it must be completed before the end of March 2025. Podfics of older and published works are allowed, as the podfic itself counts as new work.

13. Last but not least: Be courteous to the other participants, act in good faith and assume good faith. For all questions, please contact the mod (here via Ask, or see the email address on the AO3 collection profile). We are happy to help!

[uyuforu]

List of different Charts & explanation

Many people asked me about what exactly are the different charts I propose in my private readings, so in order for you to choose in peace what you want, you can refer to this list.

‧₊˚✩彡 Natal Chart

The Natal chart is the original chart, every other charts will be based on this one, as it literally represents you as an individual, who you are, what is your personality like, your preferences, and based on those which choices are you most likely to take. It's a good way to know yourself better and be aware of certain behavior. It can also indicates you where you need to work yourself.

‧₊˚✩彡 Solar Return Chart

A solar return chart will best describes what is most likely going to happen in your life for a year. It starts on the day your sun exactly returns to its initials position (= so your birthday). Example: if you are born on February 1st, your solar return will start on February 1st to January 31st of next year. So for your Solar Return of 2024-2025, it will be from February 1st 2024 to January 31st 2025. The more close to the end of one solar return you are, the closest you are stepping on your next solar return chart. It's a good chart to know what will be the main theme of your year and what you can achieve. It's also a way to predict when you will get successful, when you will marry or meet your FS, also a way to predict children.

‧₊˚✩彡 Lunar Return Chart

Very similar to Solar Return Chart except it's changing each month. It's nice to study it in order to see how your month will go. It is based on the moon as the title says, so the Moon will be the same sign and degree as in your NC.

Persona Charts are charts based on a planet or asteroid on your natal chart.

For example: You are Taurus Venus, then your Venus Persona Chart will be Taurus Sun.

It will tell you more about the planet or asteroid and what influence it has on you.

‧₊˚✩彡 ASC/ Rising Persona Chart

This PC will tell you about more about your personality and your identity. It's good to look at when you want to know more about yourself, since it's another layer of yourself.

‧₊˚✩彡 IC Persona Chart

The IC Persona Chart will tell you about your childhood, how it was, what happened, and how it is linked with what you call home today. What do you search for in a home? How will you feel more comfortable and at home?

‧₊˚✩彡 DSC Persona Chart

The Descendant Persona Chart is a chart that will tell you about your ideal type, who are you searching for the most, what kind of person, and what you like the most in a partner. This is another way to see the FS, because we usually go for people who are our type. It's also the type of person you tend to date.

‧₊˚✩彡 MC Persona Chart

MC persona chart is the best PC to look for when you are interested in knowing what is the best career pursue for you. If you don't know much about what you should do, look at it. If you know but you are not sure, look at it. If you know and you are sure about it, you can also see how it will develop in your life.

‧₊˚✩彡 Moon Persona Chart

Moon Persona Chart is based on one's emotions, and it gives you a bigger view over your emotions, how you control them, what do you hide the most. When looking at it, you can see a true new face of yourself, and you may discover a lot about your emotions and your relationship with them.

‧₊˚✩彡 Mercury Persona Chart

Mercury PC is a chart that will tell you more about the way you communicate, it's also about your mind, your ideas. You could also see what you tend to talk the most about, and what is truly hidden. You can see how you express yourself, and it can also help you know more about yourself.

‧₊˚✩彡 Venus Persona Chart

Venus Persona Chart will tell you more about your loving style, the way you express your love and feelings, and your love languages. You can also see your preferences in relationships and another insight about your ideal type.

‧₊˚✩彡 Mars Persona Chart

Mars Persona Chart will tell you more about your anger issues, how you express your jealousy, your ambition, your powerful emotions. It's also a way to know more about yourself sexually, what you like.

‧₊˚✩彡 Jupiter Persona Chart

It's all about your luck, in every planets you can see where you are most lucky at. It also tells you the limits, and where you can have more difficulties to be lucky at.

‧₊˚✩彡 North Node Persona Chart

It's to know more about your purpose in this lifetime. It also tells you about your lessons in this lifetime. How can you become your best self in this life.

‧₊˚✩彡 Juno Persona Chart

Juno is another asteroid that will tell you more about your soulmate, and your FS. It's a very romantic asteroid. It's another good way to see who you will marry. Get to know more about who this person is in this chart. It's a neutral PC, as it doesn't have genders.

‧₊˚✩彡 Groom/ Briede Persona Chart

Groom or Briede PC (depends who you are attracted to), will tell you the best about your Future Spouse. Who are they, what do they do, how are they like, etc. It's also the best way to know who you are as a spouse, or how you will be as a spouse. For example: if you are a woman, look at your Briede PC to know more about yourself as a spouse. If you are interested in men, look at your Groom PC to know more about your FS.

‧₊˚✩彡 Boda Persona Chart

Boda is the asteroid of marriage, as it is the Spanish translation. It's a PC that will literally tells you all you need to know about your wedding day. If you are curious, you should check it out!

‧₊˚✩彡 Fama Persona Chart

Fama is an asteroid that tells you more about your success, your fame, and rumors/ gossips about you. It's a PC that is good to look at if you want to know if you have chances to become successful, and in which industry, how and why. It will also tell you how you will live it, if you will like it, and if people will talk about you or not.

‧₊˚✩彡 Vertex Persona Chart

It's all about fated invents in your life. It will tell you what is most likely going to happen in your life as the Vertex always tell us about our fate.

‧₊˚✩彡 Synastry Chart

Synastry is just taking two natal charts and putting them against each other. It shows how each individual feels about the other. It can also show how the two met, and their feelings at that moment. The basic Synastry also shows the strengths and challenges each face with the other. It's the most basic and well known method about compatibility, even if I think personally, a compatibility cannot be made just with basic synastry. A relationship changes with time, we can't base ourselves with only that.

‧₊˚✩彡 Composite Chart

A Composite chart is a chart that is the result of adding two natal charts together. It's taking Person A + Person B= one chart that represent your relationship. It's really the same as a basic synastry but in one chart. So it shows the dynamic of the relationship, the purpose of the meeting, mutual challenges and strengths of the relationship. You can check an analysis I did of my Composite chart with my FS for you to see how it looks like.

‧₊˚✩彡 Solar Return Synastry Chart

A Solar Return Chart is a chart that represent the return of your sun in its original sign (your sun sign). So basically, it's your birthday. So a SRC only last a year, and every years (starting on your birthday, and ending either a day before or the day of your birthday the next year) you get a new chart. It usually tells what will happen in your life that year. Synastry there could be a good thing to look at. You take two SRC of the same year and see the dynamic of the two people that certain year. You can see how your relationship evolves. I talk more about it here and here.

‧₊˚✩彡 Solar Return Synastry Chart

Similar to Solar Return Chart but based on Lunar Return Chart, which so changes every month. This synastry will explain what you feel for each other every month and so you can see a bigger and faster development to it. It's a theory still.

‧₊˚✩彡 Solar Return Composite Chart

Same thing as Solar Return Synastry but with Composite instead. It will tell you about how your relationship develop over the years, or mostly during that particular solar return you choose. While the Synastry is good to see how you feel towards each other, what is happening between you two, who is doing what to the other one, the composite here will tell you how your relationship develop, and how your feelings for each other too.

‧₊˚✩彡 Solar Return Composite Chart

Similar to Solar Return Composite but based on Lunar Return Chart, which so changes every month. This composite will explain how is your relationship evolving every month and so you can see a bigger and faster development to it. It's a theory still.

More about different compatibility charts

‧₊˚✩彡 Derivative Astrology

This is a technique that only applies to your Natal Chart. This technique is used to see different matters in your life and make predictions based on your Natal Chart. This is not only just checking your natal chart indicators, this is more than that. We say Derivative because we based ourselves on a certain house to start. For example, to know more about your Future Spouse, we are going to first start with the 7H, since it represents our FS. The 7H will so become the 1H of our FS. And we will continue with different houses and say more about them. Your 7H -> Their 1H (who they are) Your 4H -> Their 10H (their job + reputation, relationship with father) Your 10H -> Their 4H (where they come from and their family, relationship with mother and family)

Book a reading with Uyu:

*Uyu’s Email Adress: tarotjunoboda@gmail.com

*This is the only email address I have!

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