#fdjhgkjfsdk THESE TWO. HAZY PLS SEND HELP AAAAAAAA

[worldly-diversity]

@shouga-nai ○ 𝕙𝕒𝕜𝕜𝕒𝕚 𝕒𝕤𝕜𝕖𝕕 𝕘𝕠𝕛𝕪𝕠 ○

          ⤷  『  ❝ With a smile like that, I can't help but want to know your secret. What's got you so cheery today? ❞ Hakkai looked to Gojyo. He had a smile on himself- other than that, however, his expression was deliberately hard to read. Perhaps a mix of amusement and curiosity, even the slightest hint of skepticism... For a pleased Gojyo could mean plenty of things.  』

Quite frankly he'd only been daydreaming of past times. For once the monkey and Sanzo had gone out together, leaving him and Hakkai alone at their hotel room for a couple hours and he'd been enjoying the quietness, only to be reminded of the days he and Hakkai had lived together, back when he'd still been called Gonou.

It'd been a weird time, but he'd always felt oddly comfortable around Hakkai in a way he rarely was with others. Being in similar predicaments when it comes to being a demon and also their journey now and such, honestly he's quite happy it turned out like this.

He can't even imagine what it'd have been like staying in that damn village, just playing cards every day against the same few gullible suckers and flirting with the same couple of girls while keeping his heritage secret as best he can…

"What, can't a guy just be happy every once in a while~?" He grinned back almost teasingly, leaning back in his chair with his head tilted even further to look at Hakkai, his perch dangerously close to tipping over yet somehow keeping its balance, and him seated, for that matter.

"Y'know, it feels pretty domestic when it's just the two of us. It's been a while, huh?" It ends up slipping out after a brief moment in which the chair's legs scraped noisily against the hardwood floor as it came back down to rest on four legs rather than two, Gojyo leaning on the table's edge and glancing at the other speculatively.

Admitting he'd missed it would be a little on the nose, and also utterly contrary to his rep as a ladykiller and all, but, well… It's still the truth. He'd just been remembering the times he'd taught Hakkai how to play cards and how damn good the bastard had been at them, how regardless of his wounds there had always been this deep, profound emotional pain to him that Gojyo had been identifying with, even if subconsciously…

He'd never felt as comfortable in that apartment before he'd had Hakkai staying there with him. It's part of the reason he'd protected him back when the monk and the monkey had shown up, utterly too perceptive and annoying as usual. it was why he'd gone straight after them, and after Hakkai when the other had slipped away still not quite healed up albeit getting there.

Thinking like this is dangerous, y'know? Sends your brain down rabbit holes that you can't just crawl your way out of whenever you feel like it, and… Once your perception of someone changes like that, there's no going back.

Quite frankly he wants to take it back. Having said as much as he had already was as much as admitting he misses it, cause Hakkai's just that sharp of a guy unfortunately. But despite the urge to just up and mutter something about being out of cigarettes despite the half full pack in his pocket, he can't quite bring himself to do it, to run away from the situation and pretend it isn't happening.

Nothing'll come of this, he knows that. He isn't fucking stupid, and Sanzo'll walk in and immediately notice the difference and the monkey will be confused, Hakkai will have that irritating smile on his face and everything will go on like nothing ever happened, like his entire world didn't get spun on its axis…

Well, that's what admitting this shit, even to himself, feels like anyway. It's better if nothing changes frankly, yet maybe it's that self destructive side of him that's hoping he'll be proven wrong, just this once.