#fck this idk how to write action

[surteic]

On The Run

Summary: Hydra returns after its final destruction years ago and wants their Winter Soldier back. Meanwhile Bucky and Loki have started forming a tight bond between the two of them and with Hydra being aware of their little project’s new friend, they won’t miss the chance to get their hands on a god too. ATTENTION! This is going to be a sort of Thor:Ragnarok AU! (actually, this will be an MCU!AU pls don’t ask me what that means)

Pairing: Bucky x Loki Genre: idk how to rate this but nothing major, kinda humour Warnings: violence (a bit) Words: 1.868

A/N:  Please keep in mind that my native language is not English, so there might be mistakes when it comes to grammar and vocabulary. I haven’t seen the movies in English either but I’m trying my best to get their characters right. I hope it turned out somewhat good lmao if not then I am terribly sorry.

Chapter-Index

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[Gifs are not mine]

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Chapter 1

Somewhere in an underground Hydra base, USA:

“Any news on where the Winter Soldier is, right now?”  the general asked, facing the big screen in front of him. His arms crossed over his chest. An analyst, probably a soldier as well, turned around in his chair, grabbing his tablet and walking over to the general whose hate filled eyes pierced through the other man’s. Starting to get nervous as the general raised his chin, threatening, he turned the screen to the older man.

“We located him at the Avengers Compound, Upstate New York.” The soldier answered, scared of how his boss would react to the news that the winter soldier was once again united with his oldest friend, Steve Rogers. And apart from that, probably had his memory back after all. Years, decades of torturing him and forming his mind wasted thanks to a man in spandex. Did he still have that filthy suit? After all it had been years since the fall of Hydra, but they were on the rise again. And they would pay.

“Is captain Rogers with him?” the general asked, finally finished with his inner monologue. “No, sir. The captain and a few others are currently on a mission.” “And they leave the winter soldier behind.” He smiled devilish, grabbing the tablet with his gloved hand. The black leather making a soft squeaking noise every time his hand moved. With a stern face, he looked up again, his smile fading. “Bring me the soldier. We need our weapon back. He belongs to us.”

Pure shock and horror was written all over the soldiers faced as the room suddenly went silent. Gazes were exchanged, panic filled the room. “But, sir. The winter soldier has formed some sort of friendship with Thor’s brother! He’s a god we don’t know anything about.” But suddenly the younger man’s voice changed. He became quiet, trying not to cause a scene. “Sir, this will be a suicide mission.” But the general was not impressed at all. Closing his leather coat and turning to leave, he yelled. “I said get me the soldier! And bring me the god too. With him on our side, the Avengers will fall. As they should have years ago.” Then he vanished, leaving his frightened subjects behind.

..

Avengers Compound, Upstate New York: “Bucky, I’ve told you before, this is not going to work.” Loki sighed as he watched his friend trying to hack into Stark and Banner’s lab. “Well, it isn’t going to work if you just stand there. Give me a hand and stop complaining.” Bucky was frustrated. He’d tried everything to get into the lab. Every code he could think of, he searched Stark’s room, his belonging, everything, but without success. There was nothing. He turned around, his long hair falling in his face. “Help me please?” he said provocative, a fake smile plastering his face.

“I will not help you and anger Stark. I’ve had enough trouble with him in the past and I’d rather stay out of that.” Bucky stood up from his bend down position and put the strands of hair from his face. He looked at the god with a frown. “And what? Tony tried to kill me once! If it wasn’t for Steve, I’d be dead! So, get over here and do a lil’ magic trick so that I can see what he’s been working on, since he wants to keep it a secret.” Defeated Loki let his arms hang down beside him.

“Okay, fine. I’m going to help you, but it was your idea and if Stark ever gets aware of that we broke into his lab, I will-“before he could even finish Bucky interrupted. “Yeah, okay. I get it, you’re gonna be a snitch. Now do something!”  

With a snap, they disappeared, the place they’ve been standing on covered in smoke.

When Bucky opened his eyes, it all happened in a blink of an eye, he had a look around. “The lab!” he yelled excited. “Why are you so surprised? You said you wanted in Stark’s lab and now we’re here. You humans are pathetic.” Ignoring the god’s statement, he went to the desk standing in the middle of the room, covered in high tech things. Bucky didn’t know what any of those things were, but they were fascinating. He’d always had a weakness for technology, even back in the day when he and Steve went to the Stark Expo in 1943. He’d wanted to check out more of the technic stuff that was standing in the lab, but his actions were cut off by an alarm going off. He put everything down and gazed at Loki.

“What’s that?” he asked, sprinting to the door, before he remembered. Ah, yes. It’s locked. “I think it’s the alarm.” Loki answered before a green light wrapped around him and his casual clothing turned into his battle armour. Bucky gave him a weird glance. “Really? You had to change first?” but Loki didn’t answer. He shrugged the soldier’s statement off and looked through the big windows that faced the wide grass area where they’d usually train. The floor, along with the glass, started vibrating; a loud noise, similar to one of a helicopter could be heard from outside.

“What is happening?” Loki was confused. As much as he was aware of everyone was on a mission or had the day off. Stark really threw a big party and let everyone sleep off their hangover, unbelievable.

“I don’t know. We need weapons. Where’s your gun?” Bucky asked as he grabbed the nearest thing he could find in Tony’s lab. The god used his magic skills and let two small knives appear, one in each of his hands. “You really wanna fight with butter knives?” Bucky laughed as he pushed some buttons on the weapon he had found, he assumed it was some sort of a gun. Whilst Loki had changed his small knives into bigger blades, Bucky still did not know how the weapon worked. “Do you even know what you’re doing?” Loki asked worried. “I’ll find out.” Sceptically Loki raised his eyebrows.

Minute by minute the noise started to get louder and louder. It wasn’t until in all black and blue covered people with helmets shot through the window. “Get down!” Bucky yelled as he turned over a table and hid behind it; Loki doing the same. Shooting back Bucky took a glance at their counterparts.

“Shit.” He panicked. “What is it?” Loki asked, getting ready to sprint at the other men and putting his knives in their chests. “You’re not going to run over there, are you mad?! You won’t stand a chance against their guns. Now stay behind that damned table or let some guns appear, Loki.” “This really isn’t the time to argue with me about my choice of weapons, Bucky. Now tell me why they had you so shocked, before we die.”

Putting more bullets in the Hydra soldiers both stood up, making their way to the window. The scene was a mess. Shards of glass everywhere, Stark’s inventions shot and destroyed the lab equalled a battlefield. Well, it kind of was.   “There are too many, I can’t keep them all under control!” Bucky yelled, using his metal arm to punch the remaining soldiers in their faces before bringing them to fall. He jerkily turned around, looking for his partner. Bucky could clearly see that he was out of breath as well. They were just too many.

“Do something, Loki!” he yelled, fighting every man that he came across. “What exactly do you want me to do? I am trying my best!” came as an answer right before a blue lightning struck through the room, taking more than half the soldiers down. Breathing heavily, he nodded, pointing with his gun at the god.

“That. That was what I was talking about. Great job.” He laughed. But Loki was less amused. He shook his head and waited for the trouble to come. “That wasn’t me.”

With a final blue lightning and a shield flying threw the crashed windows, every Hydra agent was defeated or driven back. “Brotherrrrr!” yelled a deep and enraged voice, as a tall man with blond hair was carried inside by his flying hammer. The moment his feet hit the ground, a man, hidden behind steel and a bearded brown-haired patriot, along with other people followed. The helmet of the robot-like looking person suddenly disappeared, revealing an angry black-haired man.

“You two! What have you done to my lab?! Everything is destroyed!” Stark yelled, trying to see if any computer he had in there would still be working. To his misfortune nothing worked. He sighed angrily, approaching the couple and pointing threating at their faces. “You better pray that Friday still  has all the copies or I’ll have your asses.”

“Tony.” Came a soft voice from behind the angry tin-man but he wouldn’t have any of this. “No, Rogers! They are troublemakers! They are not only getting themselves in danger but us as well! I can’t believe I even agreed to let them stay here.” “Our jobs include taking risks, Tony. We’re in danger every day we’re on a mission.” The captain tried to explain but it only made Tony angrier. “That’s the point, Steve! When we’re on missions! Not at home, where everyone should be safe! What would have happened if Peter was here?”

“Hey!” yelled Bucky, trying to calm everyone down and getting control of what was happening right now. After all there where bigger issues to discuss than them being a danger to everyone, as usual. The room went silent as his voice pierced through the destroyed room but Bucky’s focus only applied to Steve. He’d understand.

“Those soldiers, Steve. Hydra’s back.” He gulped, throwing away his weapon.

“What?” Steve remarked, praying to be misinformed.

“Hydra is back. I don’t know what they want but the symbol, Steve.” The soldier pointed to where one agent lay and turned him around, revealing the Hydra sign imbedded on his chest.

“They’re here to get back their most powerful weapon.” Stark said as he looked down the window.

“How do you know?” Bruce asked as he tried to see what Tony saw but failed as the fear of heights took over his body and he backed off.

Pointing to the ground he rolled his eyes. “I don’t know. Maybe because of the metal arm that’s sticking out of my lawn? Wild guess.” Squinting his eyes, he took a better look at the arm. “Is that a note? Who even writes notes anymore? Is Hydra living in the 20th century? Looks like they downgraded.” using his suit he jumped from the building and got both the note and the metal arm. Holding the tiny piece of paper right in front of his face he read: “The Avengers will fall once the soldier and the god are ours. There will be no mercy.”

Not even showing his concern and keeping his poker face as usual, Stark sighed, handing the note to Steve and looking at both Loki and Bucky he said, “Looks like they’re after both of you. Congratulations on your adoption.”

TBC

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Masterlist

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Taglist: @starscreamloki​

[naysaltysalmon]

Go off, nay!! I’m so sorry ppl are being shitty to you right now. Esp when you tried to open up to them. Fck em, you got this! (Also love that you’re gonna make these feels into TIDU fuel-I love that fic) But please take care of yourself and don’t let anyone put you down! Stay safe in this weird world. Fighting!

Thank you, da’lin’.

I don’t think any of us know what’s happening in life in general right now -- but in my life specifically, it seems like nobody thinks about their actions toward me apart from themselves. When I complain abt this to others, they keep telling me it’s because people in my age group are still figuring themselves out so they’re super self-centered, but idk, I’ve been told that since middle school?? And maybe it’s due to years of abuse and never considering myself a person with agency (and therefore disregarding my emotions/wants/feelings) until recently, but how hard can it be to think about someone other than urself for 2 seconds jesus frick ! Like I get we all have our struggles and nobody can constantly consider another person’s perspective, myself included, but literally! all! the! time?! Idk how other ppl live, jfc.

And yes. With luck, I will be writing more of TIDU in the near future, because I’m really sick of reading and writing academic papers rn. Due to circumstances, I probably won’t be able to do more international travel this summer, so instead I’ll be applying for internships in my area in editing/publishing to facilitate my transition into the professional world after graduation and further my growth as an author~! Gotta keep up my skills ~~~

[chiibinomonodamon]

My Top 10 Shoujo/Josei Ships

Let’s address the elephant in the room. Yes, they are problematic which is why they rank last. No doubt. But like, they’re ten and children make mistakes. Especially children who are as unfortunate as Natsume. Natsume himself is probably the most offensive one in this list. But I just...really have a soft spot for brooding bad boys who secretly want to be saved by the cheerful nice girl and that’s not going to go away ANY time soon. I grew really fond of these two as the series went on. I just did.

Man, these two used to be a lot higher when I was younger (like the same age as them lol) KKJ was the first true cosplay I ever did! So...um, not so much in the anime (although he’s not totally innocent but he is better). Chiaki has...issues. Lol. To say he’s insecure...is probably an understatement. But when you look at his upbringing, it’s really no surprise. Maron is the only person he truly seems to care about so he’s going to cling and be needy. But she knows how to handle him. She’s always in control (not in a bad way) but in a way that’s good for both of them. I love how mature she is. He will learn from her....if he hasn’t already. Okay, they’re married with a baby so I would think adult!Chiaki has gotten over what made the teenage ship problematic. Besides, they totally have God’s approval; what more do you need? XD

  *laughs* Who here watched this for the episodic Phantom Thief plots?

*crickets chirp*

OF COURSE YOU F*CKING DIDN’T.

Ya all watched it hoping for these two....RIDICULOUS TSUNDERE...GOOBERS TO TURN AROUND ONE DAY AND CONFESS HOW MUCH THEY DREAM OF GETTING MARRIED TO EACH OTHER...

MeimixAsuka is the absolute classic “love-hate/ slap slap kiss” ship DONE RIGHT. Which is great because so many are done very very wrong (and I can think of quite a few in, ironically non-Japanese media...aimed at children...that can honest to God, be interpreted as downright abusive. *coughiCarlycough*

But not these two. They are so f*cking innocent. Delightfully innocent. Like, their most offensive action is to call each other “idiot”. But God forbid anybody ELSE do that...oh no, if you dare bad-mouth one in front of the other, he/she gets so mad. And that’s like the cutest shit ever.

OH HEY. IT’S THE ONE BL SHIP I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT!! Um...well, these two are great. I thought they were great in college when I went through my fujoshi stage (ugh) BUT I STILL think they’re great NOW. This is the anime version of The Odd Couple. With more gay. xD These two are sweet as chocolate. Their interaction is just precious. What’s more important? THEY’RE ACTUALLY GOOD FOR EACH OTHER. No rape. No forcing feels on each other, great chemistry, comforting comforters; all the reasons you’d ship a regular boyxgirl pairing. This one just happens to be two boys. AND I STILL DON’T KNOW IF THIS EVER TURNED CANON AFJLFJLFJDLJF

This is one of those very few Childhood Friend Ships I’m all for. It’s kind of crazy that they were able to rank this high when I haven’t even finished their story yet. BUT I LOVE THEM. I was going to pick a ship and say “Imagine _____, except they’re little kids.” But actually, I’m having a hard time comparing them to another ship I can think of. So...they’re KINDA ‘Slap Slap Kiss’-ish but Seiya does not hide his feelings. AT ALL. He’s pretty out-spoken about it. And all he wants to do is sweep her off her feet...but it’s basically the other way around xD As for Ririka...going by Shoujo Logic, her crush on (wow he’s so boring I can’t even remember his stupid name LOL) is superficial and she subconsciously has deeper feelings for Seiya that she’s unaware of...but damn, she sure gets fired up when he’s hurt in front of her! So that gives me hope.

This is just a given. It’s HIGHLY unlikely you would find another “Best Shoujo Pairing” list WITHOUT them. So he’s already there but HURRY UP AND REALIZE YOU LOVE HIM, AHIRU. Lol dammit. The only hint we get from her is “Fakir always makes me stronger” and that SINGLE LINE is deeper than ANY thought she ever had about Mytho. Hell, I’m pretty sure Ikuko herself ships them hard. Their entire relationship is so beautifully crafted...just like the rest of the series except maybe for Ahiru’s crush on Mytho which just had me going “LOLWHY” the entire time.

“SLAP SLAP KISS” LITERALLY. All they do is fight...and then kiss. xD They’re always saving each other, supporting each other, underneath all those insults, then they get married and have two cute kids. Some people think Kazune’s too hard on her...but it’s “tough love”. He has to be because that’s what motivates her. Every single thing Kazune does in the series is strictly for her sake. Their main problem is miscommunication...but I think that goes away quickly so who cares?

Yes, yes, I know. We have two major problems here: The first is initial sexual harassment. Obviously.

But here’s the second problem:

IT’S  JUST TOO DAMN FCKING HOT.

Tooyama Ema knew how to turn up the sexual tension to ELEVEN with these two. Good lord, did she ever. This is by far the sexiest manga I’ve ever read!! Whoever coined the phrase “DOKI-DOKI MOTHERFUCKER” surely had to be reading about Yukina making Shigure do things and Shigure making Yukina do things. While the ship (born from blackmail) should strictly fall into ‘Guilty Pleasure Smut’ category, it only teeters on the edge. For me, at least. Why? Because the character development is actually really damn good. Shigure goes from Cold, Uncaring Magnificent Bastard to Excellent Tsundere Boyfriend Material quite steadily and beautifully. He’s also the only character in the series who can handle Yukina’s personality flaws. Basically, “he’s good for her” while the others are...um, terrible. xD

HEY. IT’S “ANIME TWILIGHT EXCEPT IT DOESN’T SUCK” SHIP.

It’s an ancient story. ‘Vampires make sexy boyfriends’. I believe this has been going on for a reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally long time. Like.....since the 30s, maybe? When did Anne Rice start writing? IDK ANYWAY IT’S A THING. Cutesy human girl wants vampire. The vampire is broody, dark, emo. “I’m dangerous. Stay away from me. You’ll only get hurt”. But they still turn into an off-again, on-again thing because he can’t make up his f*cking mind on whether to protect her at his side or “protect by neglect”. We’ve all heard it before.

EXCEPT THAT IS NOT THIS STORY.

No, it’s cutest f*cking damn vampire romance I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. And yeah, I did watch Karin and Tsukuyomi Moon Phase but I’m partial to vampire stories for women so fck that. lol. So...where to start. First of all, Riho loved him way before she even knew what he was. When she finds out, she still loves him. And he does do the “You’re better off not being with me because danger”. But he doesn’t say this to be edgy or to manipulate her; he says it because what he does is actually dangerous enough for her to get killed and he doesn’t want that. But she doesn’t give a damn. And he treats her like a princess. And she finds out how lonely he is and vows to always stay at his side and he respects her f*cking decisions and they go on cute dates and always comfort each other and just afjalfjalfjaijfIWEJFILOVETHISSHIPSOMUCH.

Before I get to #1, here’s some honorable mentions:

SakuraxSyaoran from CCS

YonaxHak from Akatsuki no Yona

KurosakixTeru from Dengeki Daisy

KirarixHiroto from Kirarin Revolution

DaichixNajika from Kitchen Princess

TamakixHaruhi from Ouran High School Host Club

ZeroxYuuki from Vampire Knight

Note: I am not good at top lists. This was insanely f*cking hard to do.

So....drumroll..........

WHO SAW THIS COMING?

WHO FCKING SAW THIS COMING?

IF YOU DIDN’T,

YOU DON’T KNOW ME.

GET OFF MY BLOG.

These two pairings are....like...they affect me in ways I just cannot fathom. Like...I literally do not understand how they’ve cast these obsessive spells on me...but they have. Fanart records do not lie. And mine...for both of them is ridiculous.

So why?

The best answer I can come up with is...

“Most emotionally deep”. They inspire me. They make me squeal with joy and break down sobbing. They give me warm fuzzy feelings while at the same time, tearing my heart to shreds. I just can’t get enough of either one. It’s almost like they’ve touched my soul somehow. I just don’t know. I don’t think there’s a ship that expresses the feeling of ‘soulmates’ stronger than these two ships. I feel like Takuto and Mitsuki and Issac and Rachel were born so they could meet each other. They’re both oddly similar...and yet different as night and day seewhatIdidtharwiththepics. I think “sacrifice” and “salvation” is what I respond most to when I think about ever-lasting true love. And everything about these four characters’ development is centered around these two things.

[jksofficialwifey]

Not so badass boyfriend jk and the cockroach fiasco drabble ♡

wc: 1,700smthin (i added some sht rn so the wc got messed up)

warnings: cockroach death, mentions of the word cock & pussy, sexual themes, this is somewhat a crack drabble

this was inspired ofc by my favorite beings in the world: roaches. jk. i h8 them so much & theres so many in our house and i just wan di3 but i decided to write this shtsterpiece instead. anyway here it goes enjoy or wutevs! jk.

You were cuddling with your boyfriend Jungkook on the sofa in his dorm, while watching a movie with all of your friends, (all of the other bts members + you're all uni students btw) when an unwanted visitor decides to fly and land on top of jk's TV.

It was your most hated winged creature to ever exist on this entire fracking planet, and it doesn't help the fact that your mortal enemy could withstand a nuclear explosion. Although they aren't that invincible, and could easily be killed by being squashed, hit with a slipper, or by being sprayed with an insect spray. You still hate that a few of them can survive high levels of radioactivity. Anyway, going back to the bothersome cockroach that's stressing you a lot, maybe more than your weabooass-mayhaps-secretly-or-not-so-secretly-a-furry-gamer boyfriend, the horrid thing just flew again, now towards your direction. Making you flinch and scream a little, also making your boyfriend surprised by your sudden movement and screaming. "Baby are you okay?" he asked in a worried tone. "Guk...there's a jungcockroach. Kill it please, you know I hate it so much." you told him in a pleading voice.

"Where? and did you really have to call it jungcockroach?" he asked, and you looked around trying to find where the fck it is now, "Idk, it flew in our direction and oh- there it is! just right next to you on the wall! omg kill it! get it away from me!" you screamed, startling jungkook. Which also made him scream in his high pitched voice, because he was shocked. Your friends also wondered why you were screaming and shouting, and when they finally saw the reason why, they were alarmed too. Hoseok screamed and said, "OMG I'm going out of this room until you kill it. ohmygod I hate bugs!" Jin also screamed loud and decided to follow him out of the room. Joon, yoongi, jimin, and tae didn't seem too bothered. They just looked concerned for you.

The cockroach flew again, but it went to the floor, and crawled somewhere in the room. You weren't that scared of it now, that it wasn't flying anymore. But it still wasn't dead, and you were still a little afraid if it reappears, and flies again. Though, you could blame your boyfriend's scaredy ass for not killing it and just screaming at it. Like you did.

"Guk, why didn't you kill it? you just screamed like those undercover agent guys from that white chicks movie." you asked him, mocking the way he sounded a bit, cos he screamed like a girl. "In my defense, I was shookt because you screamed, which made me scream too." he said rather defensively. "Really? or is it because you're afraid of cockroaches like me too? oh my god. and I merely agreed to date you, because I thought someone would finally protect me and kill these pests for me. You were such a badass when i met you though, it turns out you're just as scared of them as I am. How saddening," you asked him, and joked about only dating him because you thought he'd kill these annoying pests for you. But he didn't quite get it and took it a bit seriously to which he replied,

"I just don't like them or bugs in general okay? It doesn't mean I'm scared of them. And what do you mean you merely agreed to date me because you thought I'd kill em for you? I clearly remember you saying, you'll date me because my big cock's a keeper." he said smugly, to which your friends faces wrinkled in disgust. "Um, guys we're still here, pls don't forget." Jimin had said.

"Sorry guys. But sure, whatever you say baby guk, don't worry I won't break up with you. Even though you're scared of bugs," you teased jungkook. "I really am not scared of damn cockroaches though, that pest should show up now. And I'll prove to you that I'm not scared of them." He said too proudly, and not long after, it did show up flying towards his shirt. He tried to fight it, but he shook it off his body instead. Staring at it wide-eyed after doing so til it fell to the ground, and jimin stomped it with his foot, and all his might, ending the nasty thing's pathetic life. "Well, you really proved you're not scared of them gukie. Thanks to jimin though," you said sarcastically. "Jimin ssi, you should become my new boyfriend. I'm breaking up with gukie, cos I need a brave man with real balls to protect me." you told jimin coming up to him, but you really just wanted to get jungkook worked up. Jungkook just glared at you looking annoyed. You actually succeeded in getting under his nerves.

While you were busy teasing jungkook, you didn't notice another cockroach appearing. But this time jungkook had an evil plan, "Um hyungs, why don't y'all go out for a bit. I'm just gonna talk to y/n about our relationship, or whatever that's left of it." he said, feigning to look angry, being like the great actor he is. Sensing that you and jk might have a couple fight, the hyungs obeyed and went out of the room, leaving the two of you alone.

"Y/N, how unfortunate, it's just the two of us left, jimin can't protect you now." Jungkook said with an evil smirk. "What do you mean guk? he killed the cockroach already, I won't have to worry about one for awhile." you replied. Jk found it amusing you didn't even see another cockroach crawling towards you.

"Oh. But what if there's another one? idk baby, but I think that nasty thing crawling towards you looks like a fracking cockroach to me." He said triumphantly, and when you looked down, it was indeed another annoying roach. You moved away from it, but it looked like it was crawling towards the wall instead. "JK kill it please, I can't deal with another one again ughhh. Why won't they stop attacking me?" you were so annoyed and distressed, you just wanted to disappear forevs. "What's that baby? you want me to kill it? oh i dunno if I can though cos I'm so scared of bugs, maybe you could do it yourself since you're so brave. Or you could call jimin, but I think they went home already. Anyway, maybe I'm gonna go out for a bit. Goodluck with your friend..." his cocky ass said, heading for the door.

But he isn't really gonna leave you alone with that nasty pest right? you won't let him. "Ughhh baby I take it all back. You're not a coward, you're the strongest and bravest person in the world! so get rid of the nasty creature now pleaseee." you said loud enough so he can hear and reconsider leaving you to die by the hands of a dirty cockroach, "Really? just awhile ago, you were saying you were gonna leave me for jimin though. But since I'm a merciful being, I'll help you and do it, if you beg again nicely and do something for me in exchange." he wants you to beg again and do something for him, of course. "Fine. My brave and ever so handsome boyfriend, can you pretty please kill that cockroach for me? I was just kidding when I said I'll leave you for jimin sir, I would never choose another person who'll never have the same big dick energy as you. I'll certainly do anything you ask me to do in exchange."

"Well since you asked nicely, I'll get rid of it now for you, baby." he then approached the oblivious insect which was now at the wall, it didn't fly yet but before it could do so, jk had hit it with a book making the roach fall to the floor. He then proceeded to stomp on it, to make sure it wouldn't live anymore. "Done, that was gross. Oof. I didn't realize I used Jin hyung's book that I borrowed to kill it. Maybe I'll just tell him to wipe the cockroach's juices off of it." he said uncaringly.

"Ew. Shouldn't you wipe it yourself before you give it back, like a good person? Anyway, thanks for doing it for me baby, I knew you were still a bit scared but you still did it anyway. And I really was just joking when I said I only agreed to date you, so you could protect me. Ok, maybe that wasn't entirely false, but i love you, you brave bun perfect or not. And I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world." You were being soft, but he just had to remind you of the thing he asked for, in exchange of getting rid of the pest.

"I love you too baby, and I really wasn't scared anymore, because It was fun seeing you scared and wanting me to be your hero. I'm still not gonna wipe that roach's juices off jin hyung's book though, cos I don't feel like being a good person today. And about that thing I want you to do...I just want you to wash my dishes for a month, and don't bother me when I'm playing my video games. It's not too much isn't it?" he said smirking.

"Of course it isn't baby, though I guess you won't be getting a blowie or any type of action for a month then. We're not frickfracking for a month, how tragic. But my glowing fidget spinner anal plug and me will still enjoy, idk about your hand though," you retorted. "What? baby nooo. I changed my mind, you can annoy me anytime even when I'm playing, just don't take away my smashing privileges. I wouldn't last a day, without your pussy in my cock." he exclaimed.

"That's what I thought so. I'm gonna shower now my brave cockslayer, cos all that roach fiasco got me feeling nasty. you're more than welcome to join me if you like." you said, as you went to the bathroom to shower. "I'm coming, I wouldn't pass up a great opportunity to use my privileges, as always."

♡

A/N: sorry for the grammatical errors/typos as always. yk i can't write for sht but I still do bec it's fun to share my crack ideas w/fellow crackheads shsh. I tried to edit this but u cant rlly notice it cos i suck at writing 😂 anyway it's just a drabble bec i h8 flying cockroaches sm!

[fuck-customers]

idfc anymore

I was tempted to go anonymous but I am far too tired.

I haven't really made a post yet, I've just been following this blog for quite a while as a release as I'm sure is the same for most. But things have changed and I thought for the better, not so sure now.

this does not include the 2nd job I'd gotten WHILE working this one, which put me at 7 days a week, a little around 60 hours a week, for 9 months. That in itself was hell and requires an entirely different submission.

It'll probably get long so just scroll to the tl;dr at the bottom if you want idc.

When I had just graduated HS, I waited the summer out before applying for a job. I already knew I wasn't going to college - a 2.3GPA isn't going to get you anywhere, especially when you're in the working class just brushing the poverty line. Getting loans is not something I wanted to do either, since everyone I'd ever met, seen, or heard who'd gotten them were miserable fcks.

At the suggestion of a relative I dropped off my resume everywhere it interested me. I got hired. Things looked good. I bonded with one of the coworkers, wasn't so bad. But I was inexperienced. And their idea of 'training' was to send 3 different people from 3 different parts of the business to train me on their own time, separately, and then argue about it because either something was miscommunicated i.e I was taught to do something one way but another person said that was wrong so they'd scold me and then "re-teach" me. This went on for a few weeks.

Okay, cool, fine. Whatever. That's stupid, you do you. Shit kind of improves. But because of this miscommunication, I get a write up for talking to one of the co-workers about something I wasn't supposed to because technically they're NOT a coworker and I don't find out exactly what that means until later (paid under the table) nor was I told I couldn't speak to them about the fact that this random ass volunteer was not only getting in the way of my work, but was being a safety hazard for my clients, despite my many warnings and corrections. Because obviously we are a hive mind and I must know that 1. Do not speak to paid-under-the-table "employees" 2. Do not tell mentally unstable child to not crawl into bin and taunt clients 3. Especially do not ban him when he was spraying the hose nozzle directly at clients.

So I get a "strike". Boss lady holds out her fingers and ticks them off once by one, as If I had made a horrible grievance upon the business. I'd only been working there for a few months, I believe. Still early, still new. Still young, fresh out of HS. 

A little back story cause I really feel this is integral to the story and hopefully for those with the same issues will look at this like "ye same" and those who haven't might be able to understand the following actions on the part of myself and others. Either way, here you go:

I've got diagnosed C-PTSD, Anxiety, Depression Bipolar, and ADHD. It has been heavily suggested I also fall along the Autism spectrum (by various doctors and nurses). I am also a victim of emotional, psychological, mental, and physical abuse (with a little stockholm I recently discovered, it's not something you yourself are generally aware of and now that I am it's ... It's worse than if I didn't know.), and I have been suffering with it for as long as I've been consciously aware to the present day. I don't always like to be so forthright with this kind of knowledge because there are quite a few people that either don't believe me, or then don't think I'm reliable enough to function and/or work. So it's usually best I don't.

And during the entire time of my employment there, I underwent a lot of manipulation and emotional abuse. A lot. By a person who believed they were doing a service for others. 

The months go on. I continue to be mistreated but it doesn't get bad until my family decide they want to adopt from the shelter boss lady also happens to run. I'm at work and I am notified of the cutest little puppy who had just gotten surrendered. I immediately asked my parents if they'd like the foster (we'd been looking for a 'family dog'). Said yes but couldn't get down there. I said that's fine, I'll fill the paperwork out. So I go to the other side and I fill everything out, we're set. We go home later on and she fits in perfectly. We decide then we'll adopt her come morning when the shelter opens up again.

Morning comes, I'm about ready to walk out the door to go to work, but I'm sent a message from one of the coworkers. "Bring the puppy in" was essentially the message being sent. Puppy's mom had originally surrendered puppy because she couldn't find a place to live that would accept dogs. So she surrendered her. But then in the morning she found a place. What a moron. Anyway.

Boss lady accepted her to having her dog back. No communication to me other than "Bring the dog in". Well we were about to adopt. Essentially what this scenario was turning into was: You work for me, therefore I 1. Don't have to explain myself 2. You work for me 3. The dog is my property.

So I'm texting the coworker back and forth like "Uh I need a little more info, also my parents want to talk with the ACO". This takes way too long, I eventually get the number, mom and ACO have a chat. I thought it went well. Apparently it didn't. He was giving her the script, paraphrased and a little blase. Moms pissed, understandably. She blows it out of proportion, note she's a psychotic bitxch and does this often with everything involving life but I can see where she's coming from with this. I'm like alright well I have to go to work, good luck barring the doors from the "Police". We go to work and it's kind of fcked.

We open the doors and everyone goes silent and turns towards us, in the kind of way you know they were just talking about you. Cause we got everyone in one room. The Boss Lady, the girl txting me over the phone, the ACO, some unnamed volunteer[s]. It's fcking uncomfortable and idk whats going on. The coworker I'd been txting was known and a little too happy to gossip, run her mouth, and cause problems. I was not surprised this was what was going on, but it didn't make me any less pissed.

Boss Lady confronts relative who'd dropped me off at work. He barely says a word, just stares at her, while she's maybe a couple inches from him. She says things like "Don't stare at me like that, this is how it works" "They are MY property, and as MY property I CAN call the police and they WILL show up on your front door do you want that?" "Peeriet, go with him to get the dog so I know she's coming back." And other really really volatile bullshit. The fact that she called the puppy her PROPERTY, threatened to call the POLICE, like...I was there during all of these interactions. My texts were neutral and just asking questions, my moms convo with the ACO was really calm and easy, and the relative was doing nothing but standing there and staring as she went off her rocker. So. 

I said no, I have to go to work, I'm not going with him to get the dog but he's going to get her. So he goes, I clock in, I leave.

I go to my job and vent to my coworker about the situation because I was still trying to wrap my head around it, when the ACO shows up wanting to have a private "chat."

The fcking conversation went something like this.

"So uh, you really care about your job, right?"

this fcking asshole was alluding, in so many words, probably to get the point across while also saving his ass so if I had gone to anyone saying he THREATENED MY POSITION OVER MY HEAD TO MAKE ME COOPERATE it may have been a problem. Wonder why.

So I said yeah, it's not even an issue also, they're bringing the dog back, etc. They'd even said because I filled out the application under my name that I was liable for anything to happen if it were to happen and that, because it's under my name, well, shucks, this is all your responsibility at the end of the day, we can wipe our hands clean and call it good.

Even though we were following the 'rules' and never once 1. Yelled 2. Caused a scene 3. Refused 4. Or threatened.

So that's settled. I thought. I go home and moms pissed. Que the next few weeks of absolute stupid shit storm via the internet by way of her leaving a trail of bad reviews. Of course this falls on me.

Everything my mom ever did or said, was my fault, as they "alluded" because we can't tell the truth in this business lest we be taken to court for whatever illegal activity we're probably doing behind closed doors.

So that started a whole new thing. They're hatred becomes amplified. Coworkers I'd bonded or befriended just outright stopped talking to me, barely acknowledging my precense and going to my manager for anything, including relaying messages to me. This did not stop for another 2 years.

So eventually things calm down, as calm as it could get. I continue to get harassed a lot, manipulated. I get injured at work fairly frequently, more than most - injuries that required medical treatment. I lied my first visit because it was after work. I was truthful the other time. I'd already been told by a few coworkers but Boss Lady specifically had a few special conversations with me about not telling any of my family I got injured at work, "Because you know how your mom is". They always spoke too sweetly, too nicely and feeding me excuses to cover up the real reasons. And I'd been so used to abuse my whole life that stockholm was bleeding into my work life and if anyone has ever fcking experienced that, it is fcking hell.

So I didn't tell anyone.

Until I'd gotten injured real bad. A dog had clamped full jaws onto my leg and shook. I had an indent for every tooth, including at least 3 deep punctures. I had it disinfected, shot a water missile into the punctures to make sure debris was out, wrapped, and given meds, orally and topically. I limped when I went home. And at the weekend went bye, I continued to get worse emotionally. I couldn't keep this a secret, I was experiencing actual physical pain because of the situation I'd been put under and I, mentally, could not cope. So I blew up in the kitchen. I had a meltdown, I showed my leg, I explained what happened, I said sorry but that I couldn't hide it anymore. 

The next day or days at work I told boss lady I couldn't hide it. I just couldn't. She backpeddled, explained "Oh no no, you shouldn't feel like you have to hide it, I never said that." This was her keyphrase after being called out for every single threat, warning, and manipulation. "I never said that.". Because it was true. She didn't. She said it in a way that couldn't hold her accountable in any true legal situation.

Months go by. I continue with the abuse not just at home but at work now. Abuse most people wouldn't even consider was abuse, but unfortunately I'd been groomed for this sort of thing my entire life, so when it happened at work? I fit in so naturally I didn't even know it was abuse/wrong until I'd left. 

And the real kicker is that she knew of my mental disorders. Because when stockholm had got me good, and I was especially tired, and I'd suffered some real hard shit at home, I'd break and I'd confess to boss lady in hopes of some kind of understanding: See, this is what I deal with, please don't mistreat me.

I wrote letters. I tried talking to her one on one. I tried working so hard at work to show how good I'd gotten.

Each letter was misunderstood. She'd bring me into her office after our oral talk and tell me that, because of what I'd written, I could be misunderstood, taken 'at my word.' "Well it says here that you don't ... want to work with your clients? Well if this is true then I legally can't have you with them. Because you wrote it. And legally I have to put this in your file." So I had to rewrite it, delete everything incriminating so I was left with my personal feelings.

Talking with her wasn't possible. She used tactics my mother does, so I physically couldn't talk, and I did, it was only "Sorrys" and "Thank yous" and accepting I was wrong and she was right and yes, I understand.

Working hard didn't work. I paid for my training personally and attended a school solely to improve. I kept making mistakes though. I wasn't good enough. I was doing some of the work my manager was with none of the pay, none of the acknowledgment or acceptance. I brought her in money, and clients, and good reviews, for nothing more than what I'd already had. Because she knew I wouldn't fight for it. Because she knew I'd continue giving her money and she didn't have to shell out anything more. And legally she didn't have to, because I had no experience, I was out of HS, and no official schooling.

But she'd always give me 'tidbits' of 'rewards'. The kicker for anyone with stockholm and/or abuse is you can basically continue to abuse them without too much issue if they 'reward' you and make it seem like they're doing you a favour. You know what I mean?

So she'd have occasionally 'positive' conversations, or she'd 'comment' something good about me, but I really loved when she'd give me a .50cent raise about twice in 2 years disguising it under her "charity" when it was probably because it was actually required. Cause in her office I was like "Why do I have a .50cent raise?" "Why are you asking, that's not something you normally ask when getting a raise." "???" "It's cause -....Just be thankful" Yeeee you see that? See that? How she almost said something but didn't? Yeah.

When she hired a new person they actually made about the same as me but more than another coworker, who'd been there longer, and when asked, boss lady said she basically didn't want to pay him if he wasn't sticking around (What kind of bullshit is that). He was. He corrected her, and his pay got fixed.

Again, months passed. Sometimes It'd be so good and I truly loved my job. I formed relationships with the clients to this day I can't think about because I get emotional. And every time she would critique me. Make things harder for us, she'd always be watching us on the cameras, and if she didn't see us, she'd assume we weren't working. She'd even come out of office to walk by just to watch us as she passed. 

2 months ago she made some changes. She'd hired someone that was her irl friend. The entire business save 1 or 2 people, were connected either by blood, marriage, or irl friendship. Which wasn't a good thing.

So she hires this new manager. Does ok for maybe a week or two. But then they started making some changes. She redid how we did our payments and filed clients in a really convoluted way. We went back to the old system in a week.

Then she switched everyones schedules. Really inconveniently and without asking anyone for confirmation like she said. She never even spoke to me like she did the others. 

Then she wanted opening crew to take our lunches back to back. Which made the early morning person take their lunch 6-7 hours after they'd already been clocked on, and me take mine only a couple hours after I'd been clocked on. Well, what about the afternoon crew?

Afternoon crew, as Boss lady told our manager and new morning crew person, didn't have to take a lunch now because of the new schedule. Which put him at over 5/5.5 hours anyway, despite the hour cut.

My hours were being cut. She'd just hired new manager and new morning crew, who'd taken over everything of mine previously. She'd also already fired a few people, and the new minimum wage mandatory increase was right around the corner.

I watched my hours. I waited. Few days pass. The next week comes, everyones on edge, I'm a fireball.

She tells us we're not allowed to keep our "belongings" with the rest of the other clients when we're on lunch. We must remove them into an entire separate room, because they would otherwise make our numbers higher (of total clients allowed in a space per person ratio) and thus become "illegal". We'd been seen by a health inspector twice in a year or so by request of a client who wasn't too keen on our 'policies'. Boss Lady was adamantly covering bases, which meant fcking everyone over.

It was kind of the last straw. I applied elsewhere, got accepted, and left. I spent 2 weeks after my last day literally going through a detox/withdrawal. I became physically ill. I had mental breakdowns about once every couple days. It was hell, it was horrible. I hated every minute of it.

Someone else left. A month later another person left. Several people that'd gotten hired have already been fired. And apparently a business too similar to the glory days of the place I'd left, has moved a couple blocks down the road to a second location. 

I've gotten a new job, but It's only partially an improvement, and I am still affected everyday by the abuse I'd suffered at that place, coupled with everything I already go through at home. And I am tired, and I do this alone, and I've been looking for a place to move into for years but minimum wage isn't a livable wage.

I am tired.

tl;dr how tf do you even summarize that?

[pacman-tattoo]

All odd o:

iM GONNA PUT THIS UNDER A READMORE BC ITS LONG…

   1. What is you middle//full name?

i’m not gonna say my full name for privacy purposes, but my first + middle names are Tristen Mackenzie

   3. What is your birthday?

May 23rd!

   5. What is your favorite color?

aw man like… light pink? dark purple? cerulean blue??? all good.

   7. Do you have any pets?

yes!!!! i have a cat and her name is rose and i love her

   9. How tall are you?

5′3″-ish? i’m not exactly sure

   11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

uh… 3 i think? 5 counting both pairs of character shoes though!

   13. What talents do you have?

as a lot of ppl who follow this blog, i’m pretty good at writing! other than that, i like to think i’m pretty decent at singing and acting, and i draw a lot. other than that??? idk

   15. Favorite song?

i answered this but i’ll just add more: A Soft Place to Land from Waitress

also Teen Idle and Primadonna by Marina and the Diamonds!!

   17. Who would be your ideal partner?

alright so like my ideal partner is definitely someone who just loves me for who i am and doesn’t force me to change, y’know? someone supportive who’s kinda ready to take me as i am with all the baggage i have and still loves me in the end but doesn’t take any bullshit? like, they accept i have problems but won’t let said problems excuse my actions. someone who can help me improve on who i am, i guess?

also someone sweet and gentle and just understands, y’know??

idk i haven’t put much thought into a person past that, since i guess all i want is someone who actually gives a shit?

   19. Do you want a church wedding?

uh personally i don’t really care even tho it’d probably piss off my family i guess??? like, it could be or it couldn’t be and it probably wouldn’t make too much of a difference for me because imo it’s a wedding either way???? idk man

   21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

like, me being in the hospital? no. visiting people? yeah

   23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

uhhh i met a guy off of broadway once he was cool i think his name was andrew or matthew or something and he was in pippin and actually was charlemange the night we saw the show!! i wish i could remember his name because he gave me really good advice about basically sharpening what i wasn’t good at when it came to theatre

   25. What color socks are you wearing?

none

   27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

like… i mean, i wouldn’t be against it? as long as it’s for something i’m proud of, i guess???

   29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

nnnope

   31. What position do you usually sleep in?

i usually lie on my stomach when i sleep!!! idk why it’s been kind of a recent thing??? like i use to sleep on my left side for years and over the last year or two i’ve started sleeping on my stomach for whatever reason

   33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

i usually don’t wake up early enough to actually eat breakfast but i like to make scrambled eggs and toast!! because effort

   35. Have you ever tried archery?

no but i want to :’O

   37. Favorite swear word?

eh, probably just ‘fuck’ because i’m not creative

   39. Do you have any scars?

i have a reaaaaaaally faint scar going up my leg from when i did something stupid and was scratched by a wire!!!

   41. Are you a good liar?

depends on the lie and who i’m telling said lie to, honestly.

   43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

uh i can kinda do a russian accent like Stereotypical Russian and i can do a southern accent (which works because i’m from the south but i have no accent i swear), and i can do a kinda posh accent??? idk man i should sit around and just attempt accents one day.

i’m good at mimicking mercy from overwatch sometimes tho but only when i’m playing her because it’s more of me just sitting there echoing whatever she says i guess

   45. What is your favorite accent?

idk my russian accent is at least fun to sit around and say shit in

also just??? idk what you would call it other than Stuck Up White Girl but that’s also kinda fun because i literally will sit around and say stupid shit

   47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

that’s honestly a good question and i couldn’t tell you because i barely remember anything like lemme check amazon because i have this dress??? that was probably expensive

it actually wasn’t too expensive it was only 35-ish dollars??? idk then i tend to not buy expensive clothes

   49. Are you an innie or an outie?

innie

   51. Are you scared of spiders?

hhholy fck yeah i nearly panicked yesterday when there was a spider in my car like i was almost gone but my brother got it

   53. Favorite foreign food?

honestly that’s hard but i??? fukn???? love??? chicken enchiladas????

also does fondue count bc it’s from switzerland and i love fondue like cheese??? good. chocolate??? heaven.

   55. Most used phrased?

probably like “idk man” because i just Don’t Know

   57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

depends!!! sometimes it can be around 30-40, sometimes an hour, sometimes i’ll be ready in 10 minutes i don’t do makeup and throw on something decent

   59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

i tend to mostly suck???? that doesn’t sound sexual i swear why does everything have to sound sexual jfc

   61. Do you sing to yourself?

i think we all know the answer to this one. it’s a definite yes and anyone who thinks otherwise doesn’t know me tbh

   63. Biggest Fear?

dying young, i guess? it’s something that kinda haunts me still and idk of anything that’d be a bigger fear than that for me rn

   65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

idk i rarely watch movies????

   67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

i mean i’d probably leave a few out but i can

i took a thing and i got like, 35-36 out of the 50 so that’s good i guess

   69. Extrovert or Introvert?

def an introvert

   71. What makes you nervous?

what doesn’t make me nervous tho

uh i guess just??? driving in silence makes me nervous

honestly any silence makes me nervous because i need at least some sort of constant noise??? tests are hell, man.

   73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

depends on the mistake??? i tend to but if it’s just something really minor i won’t bother the person.

   75. Have you ever started a rumor?

nah i dont think so. if i have then??? whoops. i know a guy who started (or at least tried to?) rumors about himself tho it was weird

   77. Have you ever drank underage?

not rly??? i’ve had sips of stuff but that was usually with my parents and it wasn’t enough to make me feel anything. altho next time my friend and i hang out without her parents there i might drink a little, just to be able to say ‘i did the thing’ since i kinda wanna do teenage shit while i still can i guess?????

   79. Who was your first real crush?

guy i knew/know (we’re kinda friends??? like we talk but we don’t make extra effort to do so imo???) named jacob!!! he let me down gently because he was also the first person i confessed to, and altho i kinda regret it, i still had that rejection so at least i don’t have to deal with that shit with someone else being “that first rejection” or w/e

   81. Can you roll your Rs?

aaaa sadly no i wish i could tho!!!

   83. How fast can you run?

i don’t think i’m fast but i think i’m fast enough

   85. What color is your eyes?

blue!

   87. Do you keep a journal?

i kinda used to??? i stopped writing in it for a while…   89. Do you like your age?

ehh kinda??? like…? i’m still technically a “““teenager”““ (even tho i technically count until i’m 20 but legally i’m an adult at 18) but it kinda sucks because being 17 is lowkey kinda stressful because woah ur a senior in high school time for u to be forced into thinking you need to choose a good college that will get u a degree for a job you’ll always be in for the rest of ur life and just the fact i’m kinda inexperienced in shit??? i just wanna be smooched before i turn 18 man

   91. Do you like your own name?

i mean??? i don’t like ‘tristen’ but i do like ‘tris’! which is why i go by it online and i try to get ppl to call me it. there was someone i know who was like “no one even calls you that” when i said something about being called “tris” to someone and i’m like… that’s because i never said anything about it before…??? no one calls me tris because i never really went by it before….???

but anyway “tristen” is fine but i will always prefer to be called “tris”

   93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

i’m gonna say i’d love to have a girl but honestly? i don’t really care? if i have a child or if i have children, i just want them to be happy and healthy and feel they can trust me with anything - or at least almost anything, since i never really had that person growing up.

   95. What are your weaknesses?

uh i’m not the strongest person when it comes to physical activities but that’s also because i’m a dumb egg who sucks when it comes to shit like dancing because i kinda throw myself down a hole when other ppl get things and i don’t and i get really self deprecating over shit

also self deprecation by itself is a pretty big weakness.

other than that, i’m kinda messy?? like my room itself is a mess and there’s clothes on the floor and i really just need to take a day and clean up

   97. Were your ancestors royalty?

not that i know of

   99. Color of your bedspread?

uh its too hot for one rn but i have a white one that my grandma bought for me and i use it when its cold af outside

i want this galaxy one that i found tho….

(I SPENT AN HOUR ANSWERING THIS BUT IT WAS FUN OMG…)

[whitbee21]

ha!!

amwriting once again

this time its not about vell although I need to go back and vent about him as well.

I'm gonna attempt to write out my feelings to Johnathan Bagot as they say this type of shit helps and works

soooooo...JB Johnatha, Nathaniel,, BAgot!! wassup home skillet ohhh theres so much I hav e to say.. ive sent u these type of messages many times before but this one is gonna be a little different I guess..it wont be jus about u and all the good things u make me feel. no... this will actually include all the fuck shit u do which whether u believe it or not is a lot... theres a reason I call u a fuck nigga when describing u sometimes because in all honesty that's what u are and you said that u know that.. so I dnt get why u get mad sometimes when I say that... anyways.. umm idk,. I wonder when we reached the first point of me needing to cut u off.. I know recently the shit has been more magnified and its to the point where its like mk whit why tf is u still fuckin with this nigga.. what really pisses me off is that when I confront u on yo bullshit u dnt really care.. u say shit like ok or u knew that about me already..most fucked up shit u do I don't even acknowledge it cuz I know u dnt care to stop or change the way your actions affect other people. I been told u this but its funny and selfish of u to want somebody who accept u for who u are when 1.  u treat people like shit and most of the times u try to take  advantage of shit.. and don't say u dnt cuz u fuckin  do.. if u want one burrito and u see I would buy it for u you then ask for 2. You the one tht let me know I'm too passive and people take advantage of me cuz I'm too nice... so why would u make me feel the same way?

ohhhhhhhhhhhh Johnathan ive spent wayyyy too much money on yu and have done shit for u I know never crossed ya mind about doin for me. Which is cool. 75% of the time u don’t ask.. its usually just me being stupidly nice because and like and care for u.

Johnathan. You always joke about u findin ya girl and how im not for u cuz im for other niggas.. but nigga if that was true would I still be fwu .. nigga you the longest person I fw since I left the father of my child.. like I fwu… more than anything on a friend level.. like honestly Johnathan if it was strictly bout sex I would’ve cut u off at the beginning of the year…. Ive asked u since day 1 if I didn’t fuck u could we be friends and u said yea u were like im not here for that blah blah I can control myself ive had pussy before bullshit. Now that you’ve had it more than enough times and im tired of this fuckin situation we in and im wanting to be strictly friends now u dnt know if u would still wanna be my friend. Nigga what does pussy have to do with me and my friendship it pisses me off u act like u care when u want to when we all know that u really dnt. Like how u always wanna make slick comments about me bein with the next nigga but nigga u with the next bitch and u dnt see me bringin it up

Whats the point?? We both know/knew wassup why dry bring up shit and act like it’s a problem when  nigga u got the same thing goin likeeeeeeeeee how that work.. u sayin I dnt txt u cuz im with another nigga while im standing next to your dresser with eyelashes and hoop earrings lmfaooo like please stop

And honestly that’s what did it for me

The eyelashes lmaaaoo like nigga no hell no tffffff nooo!!!

Im over here really tryna keep u as a friend with my pussy when hell im sure yu getting it elsewhere ..im not trippin on that by all means get yours bt what pisses me off Is that u tellin me we cant be friends if ion wanna fuck like NIGGA IM NOT THE ONLY BITCH U FUCKIN GTFOH WITH THAT SHIT

Straight bullshit I swear

Do you think u deserve to go to the big sean concert

Like if I was you and you were me,,

If u were my friend and I told u the backstory of me and u

How u pick and choose when u wanna tlk to me

And how sometimes you’re mean to me for no fuckin reason

And how tbh u wouldn’t be fwm if I didn’t fwu (u say you’ve fucked w.me despite us not havin sex but nigga u still got head, I was comin over to smoke,drink,take u to movies.. u were just waiting til we fucked again)

Would u be like yea whit get him those tickets for his birthday even though on the day of he might not be appreciative of shit til he see the tickets.

 Like wtfffffffffffff I knew I would feel like a dummy if/when I bought the tickets buutttttt

Me fwu over rode those feelings

Im like fuck it im goin to the big sean concert with my nigga bagot we gone be lit

Ha!!!! We gone be lit alright..so lit tht I’ll mostly likely come to yo crib..fuck u and leave in the am

Unfortunately I think this is it

Even though I really dnt want it to be

Its bout the best thing I can do for myself u make me feel a way I shouldn’t about myself its mostly cuz of the way you’ve treated/ acted towards me

And for u if I cant give specific examples then I must be lyin and all I have to sat to tht is FUCK THAT

Fck that shit bro u can sit up here and like u the coolest most laid back person there is

But in all actuality you’re a selfish asshole

Who couldn’t even be true to a girl who didn’t want SHIT from u but to kick it

Nigga I was comfortably fine with not being ya girl … whatever

But for u to bullshit on a friendship that you don’t even put nothing into??

Yeeaaa naaa.. miss me with the shits once again I know u dnt care and u probably aint read the whole thing

I just wanted u to know I fwu and despite me not fwu no more u gone always be remembered as my nigga cuz we had some good times together…….. from me being able to call and talk on ft 90% of the time to me callin u cryin cuz im an emotional doofus lmaooo

But naa all In all Johnathan  I love you and Im glad we got to hang and enjoy eachothers company

Who knows maybe later in life you’ll stop being a douche and be a true friend but if not i wish u all the best in everything u do. I know u gonna get it done by any means necessary..

 Sincerely,

Queen head ass lmao

p.s. I know this is the most head ass thing I could do but hey its wht I do lol