#fat bass representation

[knightofleo]

Matthew Herbert | The Horse Has A Voice feat. Theon Cross

[the-everqueen]

And please give me all your unpopular opinions on Sandman 🙏🏼

[maniacal laughter]

we know my feelings about hob gadling

dreamling is not THAT compelling

the tragic end of morpheus' arc in the comix fulfills a narrative function, which is the most in-character thing it could do

in this house we love and respect danny!dream

the only good thing to come out of the spinoffs was nick robles' danny art (and possibly jt4's nightmare country but we have yet to see how he concludes it)

if the neilman weren't a coward, he would have cast toshiro mifune as destruction for s2 ("horse," you might say, "mifune died almost 20 years ago, how would he get the role?" that's not my job to figure out. i would have also accepted manny jacinto, though)

bailey bass should be delirium

the comix, the series, and the fandom are too anglocentric (perils of an english speaking creator and audience)

i have Thoughts about how Despair in the comix is the only fat Endless and also the one who is most often drawn as inhuman. i also have Thoughts about how Despair is the significant fat representation in the series.

the neilman and the fandom should read saidiya hartman

[vampiressmoney]

My review of the addiction movie is James' voice saying certain things is the most exciting thing about it (he said "erotic" 💀). I listened in my headphones and the bass in his voice vibrated down my back. Which means I should probably be more mindful of volume. Or not. Honestly, I'd probably have the same reaction if he was talking about how to toast bread.

Otherwise, I didn't like it for a few reasons. I appreciate the goal but I got bored and annoyed with lack of female expert representation, lack of interviews with actual addicts, and one lady who got divorced and kept saying she couldn't understand why the husband was up to such behavior cus she's not fat and ugly. Plus some of it was knowledge I would think any overanalyzer like me would already have thought of, so maybe I'm not the audience for this.

I dunno. If you're bored, give it a go I guess.

[luuurien]

Travis Scott - UTOPIA

(Experimental Hip Hop, Trap, Southern Hip Hop)

Travis Scott’s huge, hollow new album is lacking in spirit and attempts to make up for it with a packed guestlist and his heaviest, most experimental production to date. The results are lacking at best.

☆☆

Ever since his watershed debut Rodeo, every subsequent Travis Scott release has become a big cultural moment, music that defines the conversations around hip-hop and sets the stage for mainstream expectations the entire year. It’s easy to see why: he features all sorts of different mainstream names from Kendrick Lamar on Birds in the Trap Sing Mcknight’s Goosebumps to John Mayer and Don Toliver on the ASTROWORLD highlight CAN’T SAY; his dark and nocturnal take on trap makes his music easy to listen to while rarely pushing past the background unless you want it to; the ambitious concepts behind each of his albums makes them feel absolutely massive even if the music doesn’t land with you. Little of this remains the case for his latest release UTOPIA, the album coming out with a 75-minute documentary/anthology CIRCUS MAXIMUS full of dark, celestial shots of waterfalls and caves and attacks from a giant octopus and conversations with Mike Dean, the visual representation of an album filled to the brim with content that reveals itself it be almost completely lacking in substance. As Scott pulls from the heavier, colder side of experimental rap (entirely borrowing from Kanye’s Yeezus at times), he strips down his beats to nothing but mechanical drums and sharp-edge synths but continues to fail to say anything as a rapper outside of his usual topics - drug abuse, sex, taking your girl - and leaves UTOPIA remarkably unfulfilling as a result. There’s no strong, tangible acidity to the vast majority of these songs, a hollow attempt at a summer blockbuster where the big name features and oversized tracklist do little more than waste your time.

The album’s few strong points are in the places where this cold, rigid style of trap production gives way to songs that utilize that space effectively. Opener HYAENA kicks things off with a fat, distorted boom bap beat and buzzing synth bass, keeping things minimal but the energy high; I KNOW ?’s dark pianos and subtle percs along with Travis’ bouncy flow are reminiscent of the twisted carnival beat of 5% TINT with some extra venom in it - Travis in his element still makes some of the most addictive trap music out there, and these occasional moments of his raw talent as a producer and rapper when the beats lean into his usual volatility are simply undeniable. The rest of the album either fails to make him appealing on emptier beats that demand greater content from him lyrically to fill the space or rely on half-baked features to keep things rolling along, the back-to-back performances of Drake, Playboi Carti, and Beyoncé on MELTDOWN, FE!N and DELRESTO (ECHOES) respectively either entirely abysmal in Carti’s case, phlegmy and low-pitched and lacking in any good qualities, or just plain boring with Drake’s safe disses towards Pharrell and Pusha T (“Since V not around, the members done hung up the Louis, they not even wearing that shit / …You lucky that Vogue was suing 'cause I would've been with the Wassas in Paris and shit”) while Beyoncé’s dry crooning atop a sauceless ballroom beat that sounds more like an outtake from her latest album than anything truly showstopping. Even the stronger features from SZA and Westside Gunn near the end of the album lack much of a wow factor, sounding more like they’re there to collect a check than to make an inspired collaboration that plays to their strengths - sure, Westside Gunn sounds as brash and confident as ever on LOST FOREVER’s chilly, detail-devoid beat, but it’s surely not the best he’s ever sounded, especially once you imagine him rapping on top of some of Scott’s heavier, hazier beats from the past. Scott has always relied on features to hold his albums together when he as a solo rapper just cannot, but few of the guests on UTOPIA are worth remembering by the time the album’s over.

Where his past albums could get by with their weaker aspects by appealing to his Southern roots and musical influences (think ASTROWORLD’s liquid smooth boom-bap closer COFFEE BEAN and hometown homage R.I.P SCREW), UTOPIA relinquishes those few personal charms to try and grasp a more universal message, the few tinges of humanity present on the album in the sensitive alt-R&B highlight MY EYES with support from indie folk experimenter Justin Vernon and neo-soul recluse Sampha relegated to a few lines referencing the Astroworld Crowd Crush (“I replay them nights, and right by my side, all I see is a sea of people that ride wit' me / If they just knew what Scotty would do to jump off the stage and save him a child”). On the whole, though, not much of UTOPIA has anything to say, a death sentence when he also wants to deconstruct his production and leave so much open space, lingering for six minutes on the Young Thug-assisted SKITZO where a bog-standard trap beat and unrewarding beat switch tries to add just a little bit of excitement to their dead on arrival performances. If you didn’t enjoy Travis Scott as a rapper before, UTOPIA only gives you an ever clearer look into his shortcomings in that department, 73 minutes where only a few moments of him truly getting into a beat and having something interesting to say on it exist. For as much as UTOPIA aims for transgression, for its beats to hit hard and for Travis to make Coldplay references and voice his support for “Ye over Biden,” so much of UTOPIA feels like your standard, overwrought trap album where a concern for a stacked credits list and lots of songs to throw onto streaming playlists overrides any real artistic vision. The story he tries to convey of stepping into darkness in order to find what truly fills your spirit doesn’t translate in an album where no real magnetism is present - as much influence as he takes from Kanye, Travis Scott has none of the gravitas or raw emotion that made Kanye’s most unwieldy music feel so immense and meaningful. Instead, UTOPIA treats spectacle as the be-all-end-all, acting as if features for more than half of the tracklist and long runtime will make up for just how unexciting it all is. By breaking his music down to its bare essentials, Travis Scott makes it ever more clear just how bland much of his discography is when you take away the psychedelic trap beats and gritty Southern flair, UTOPIA so far removed from the few things that made his previous music attractive that the noisy, harsh production he’s already years late to only serves as another reminder of how all the smoke and mirrors were a crutch for him artistically. UTOPIA may try to take you under the surface of Travis Scott’s glossy trap, but there’s still little worth coming back for.

[wkilofficial]

@wkilofficial I know *nothing* about the mechanisms or In The Green but I love a good analysis/comparison of music and especially when there’s concept albums involved!! Your tags were very informative but please can you tell us more about the Mechanisms and In the Green Vs MCR and Danger Days

YEAHHHHHHH okay okay okay let's fucking do thisss

the mechanisms feature less in this Analysis post bc they're just. band that makes me go batshit insane. but to explain what they are briefly!! they were a. steampunk cabaret?? that's probably the genre. band that ran for about ten years that made story albums that were like. reduxes of famous mythologies and folk tales, often re-scoring and rewriting prior folk songs to do so. their main four albums are, in turn, a grimm's fairytales sci-fi epic, a sort of jazzy steampunk retelling of the odyssey, a western redux of arthurian legend, and a rock opera style album of norse mythology leading up to ragnarok. and i Love folk songs and modern interpretations and the genders of the band are truly so soothing to experience (loki being a she/her character played by a he/him gnc man being in a lesbian relationship with sigyn, a she/her character played by a they/them fat person of color, is still so important to me). and i can't rlly sum them up in one post?? but i recommend their music to any literature nerds shjshjs

BUT ANYWAY ONTO WHAT I'M HERE FOR

in the green, in a brief summary, is an experimental musical about hildegard von bingen that deals a Lot with trauma and abuse and recovery as it relates to a religious and misogynistic society (12th century catholic europe!). and its cast is five people playing two characters: hildegard's Eye, Hand, and Mouth, representing how trauma at a young age fractured her and made her feel broken and disconnected from herself (her aspects can fight and bicker and have wills of their own and never really sing in harmony), and jutta's Main Persona and her Shadow, the representation of her abuse and trauma that she's kept buried far underground. the music of the show is really stripped back? it's drums, electric bass, cello, dulcimer, and a looper pedal that allows jutta to layer her voice and harmonize with herself in Really Neat Ways. BUT AS IT RELATES TO MCR. it's kind of a couple different ways?

thematically, itg shares a Lot of ideas about perpetuating the cycles of abuse and also does a lot with Catholicism? i made a web-weaving post about this awhile back (linked here) but it's like. jutta gets to be free of the consequences of her abuse of hildegard because she dies. she gets to cling to that virtue while hildegard has to shoulder the burden of her teachings of "repress and work and the trauma will go away". so i think a lot about "from the razor to the rosary" and "i'm taking back the life you stole" and just like. catholicism themes and living your life in spite of what you've faced?? idk it's hildegard experiencing this life changing event at such a young age and then being taught In Isolation that the best way to deal with it is to ignore it because acknowledging it will destroy her. and then discovering that she Can acknowledge it and that's the best way to recover but the woman who taught her the opposite Dies before she can share what she's learned. jutta gets to die before the cycle of abuse she perpetuated can catch her. she dies just when she learns how she could've fixed herself. he (jutta) gets to die a saint but she (hildegard) will always be the whore y'know?

and then the OTHER similarity is just. lyrics? i'm just straight up gonna post itg lyrics that sound like they could be mcr lyrics right here:

plucked from the harvest, before you start to rot / thrust in the darkness, where everything is not / you were not born to live, you were born to be forgive / you were not born to live, you were born to be forgiven - death ceremony

isn't she lucky? she is the lucky one / she will be the seed that grows without the sun / hallelujah and amen, amen / hallelujah for the dead, amen / isn't she lucky? she is the lucky one / she will know of death before her life is done / hallelujah, amen, amen / hallelujah for the dead, amen - death ceremony

i will never go back / there's nothing out there for me / i'm here to find the truth, and the truth will set me free / because if i can teach you how to be whole / i will see the light / that is my goal / when i see the light, i will be free / when i see the light, i will erase my history / for good, and i will be made new / and i will be among the few / and i will be of virtue - the rule

[JUTTA] it isn't easy work. you have to get down in the dirt. [HILDEGARD] i can do that! [JUTTA] can you? [HILDEGARD] i will / i will work until I die, if I have to. [JUTTA] that's the right attitude. - the rule

i feel a bubbling in my blood / and if it boils will i drown in the flood? / i feel an overwhelming need / to put my own flesh between my teeth / i am hungry / on what can i feed? - i am hungry

i'm scared of what i feel / maybe it isn't real, but / i'm scared of who i am / a monster masquerading as a lamb - i am hungry

you have to learn how to hold your breath / you have to learn how to feel some death / this flesh is a thicket / so weed out all that's wicked / the feeling that you feel's an unwelcome guest - eve

keep the beast in a cage / on a leash / keep her locked in the cage / don't let her speak / she will scream in the cage / she will shout / let her die in the cage / don't let her out - eve

[HILDEGARD] but why dig a grave? i'm not dead! [JUTTA] are you sure that you're alive instead? [HILDEGARD] i don't know what you mean. [JUTTA] might you be somewhere in between? / outwardly living, but broken inside? / working and working while trying to hide / the feeling that you've done something wrong? / this is where you belong! / i understand what you're going through / no one out there wanted you. - little life

but when you sacrifice / give up giving in to want / you have nothing to lose if everything's gone / when life is darkness / death is dawn / life is better in death - little life

i’m not going back / i’ll run until i die / and when i can no longer run / i’ll teach myself to fly - in the green (sidenote. favorite lyric in the show, possibly ever)

my heart is a stone / my body is not my own / my heart is a stone / my body is not my own - in the green

you must be / just like me / i do not fit anywhere up there / i carry a memory / it makes me hideous / hazardous, insidious, but / underground i’m at ease - underground

you must be / just like me / tired of holding back all your widening cracks / if you carry a memory / it’s too much to bear / broke you beyond repair, then / underground in the dark / you don’t have to try anymore - underground

underground, you can be / a creature without a name / underground, you can stay with me / with your memory - underground

but you came to the underground / and walked right through your shadows / somehow in the underground / you took something obscure / made uncertainty secure / in the poison found the cure / a spark - light undercover (sidenote sidenote. this is just an ft willz poem line)

where, oh where has my mind gone? / are my feet on the ground or six feet down? / where, oh where has the time gone? / every day is a year / is a night and round and round - the ripening

haven't i done all the things I'm supposed to? / i know what i'm meant to be / and i'm grateful for the blessing / of this body that is rotting / all i've ever wanted is to be free - the ripening

wow that's. a lot of lyrics about guilt and catholicism and category 10 woman moments. ONTO THE DD SIMILARITIES

in the green and danger days are both about. people stuck in a hostile society doing what little they can to assert control over their lives?? in dd, batt city and the desert are literally deadly and the way to rebel against the scorching sun and the enforced Sameness and Separation is to be Bright and Loud and Love As Fiercely As Possible. it's basically a death wish, to refuse to conform in a world that sees vibrancy as a crime, but the killjoys refuse to be a part of that great machine that makes up their world. in the same way, jutta is a character given a horrible hand: arranged marriage (that she runs away from) and an assault that she can tell no one about. so her only way to assert control over her life is to say No to participating in the world at all. she forcibly shuts herself away from Everyone because that was the one thing she could Do Of Her Own Will. she finds power in isolating herself because it was a decision She Could Make. the world was not meant to be kind to her and so she took the only true choice available and refused it entirely. both of these courses of actions are direct contrast to the societies the stories are set in and both of these courses are deadly but also Freeing because They Made Their Choice. no one else made it for them. the killjoys rebel by being as loud as possible, forcing the world to look at them. jutta rebels by removing herself from the world as totally as possible, forcing the world to forget her until she forgot herself. she found freedom in the cell because it was a choice she got to make.

SORRY THAT WAS RLLY LONG BUT WAAAAUGH I LOVE THESE BANDS AND THIS MUSIC

[marzipanandminutiae]

God youre so right about the representation stuff. Do you have any recs for stuff that's actually good and has diverse characters? like ive literally asked people for queer recs that are actually good and theyll be like "watch this random terrible webshow and read this book with the worst writing youll ever encounter. the main character is bi. no ill give you no plot info bc it doesnt matter"

This will probably focus mostly on sapphic representation, since that’s what I look for first. But a lot of the works mentioned have other forms of diversity, too.

BOOKS

I have a few, though one of my favorites now comes with a big caveat.

Girls of Paper and Fire (Natasha Ngan). Fantasy based on multiple Asian cultures. Lei, the PoV character, lives in a world where humans like her are systemically oppressed and animal-like demons control the country. She’s kidnapped and brought to the palace as a concubine for the cruel, megalomaniacal king. Torn between her desperate desire to resist her fate and fear of reprisals against her family, Lei falls in love with another human concubine- one whose secrets might bring down the king’s regime once and for all. Sexual assault CW, although the most graphic stuff happens “offscreen.” Haven’t read the sequel.

Romancing the Inventor (Gail Carriger). A novella tied to her Supernatural Society series, but requiring no knowledge thereof. In an alternate, steampunk England, a woman named Imogen takes a job as a maid to some local vampires. At first she hopes to be seduced by the queen of the vampire hive. But the dashing French lady inventor in the potting shed proves much more intriguing... This one also has a CW for sexual assault, though the perpetrator doesn’t succeed in her full intentions. But most of it is lovelorn mutual pining c. 1878.

The October Daye series (Seanan McGuire). Okay, the main character is straight (or at least thinks she is). But this urban fantasy juggernaut series is chock-full of LGBT representation. Faerie in this universe is bi-normative, and it really shows. The basic premise concerns half-fae private investigator/knight October “Toby” Daye and her quest to beat her personal record for literally dying and coming back fight evil. Many of her friends and allies- and her love interest -are somewhere in the rainbow umbrella, and presented with great respect. No sexual assault in this one, but a LOT of violence, if that’s a problem.

The Wayward Children series (Seanan McGuire). If non-fantasy readers have heard of McGuire, this is probably why. Ever wondered how the kids and teens who fell into other worlds and magical adventures coped with coming home? Welcome to Eleanor West’s boarding school, where found family is everything and disappearing forever in the middle of the night will make your classmates mad with jealousy. Thoughtful, funny, and heart-wrenching stories about the nature of home, fairytales, and growing into yourself. Replete with all sorts of representation, including a sapphic mad scientist, a trans former goblin prince, an Asian candy warrior, and a fat mermaid. Some violence, though how much depends on the book

The Karen Memory series (Elizabeth Bear). This is the one with the caveat. Let me explain it first. In a steampunk Seattle c. 1879, young sex worker Karen and her friends fight to keep a truly monstrous man from becoming mayor via torture and mind control. A genius inventor named Priya who knows firsthand what said candidate is capable of might be her greatest ally in the fight- and much more. I love this book because it’s one of the few Wild West stories I’ve seen acknowledge the true diversity of the American west coast during the 19th century. The characters are white, Black, Indian, Chinese, Native, and various combinations thereof. The legendary Bass Reeves plays a major part. The main character is a lesbian and one of her coworkers is a trans woman, both handled very well. The author clearly did her research and balances the sci-fi elements with a solid grasp of real-world history. CW for mentions of sex trafficking/sexual assault. Also Karen is 17, and while that was considered past the age of consent at the time and you never see her working, it may be uncomfortable for some readers.

The caveat is pretty recent. Another author came forward and said that Bear and her husband emotionally abused and manipulated them when they were still new to the industry. Bear claims that said author actually abused her. I know none of the people involved and cannot speak to who’s telling the truth. It’s a matter for your conscience if you feel comfortable giving Bear money or would rather skip the book or get it from a library. Controversy surrounding the author doesn’t change what she wrote, however, and I do personally feel that the book is quality representation on multiple levels. Do what you feel comfortable with.

Fingersmith (Sarah Waters).  A young thief in Victorian London is recruited into a con game to cheat a sheltered heiress out of her fortune. But once she meets the other girl, their feelings for each other begin to complicate everything. Full of twists, turns, and that trademark slew of gothic novel coincidences. CW for child abuse (mostly emotional and physical), opiate addiction (not explored in detail), and abusive mental hospital staff.

It’s a short list, but hopefully it will expand as time goes on. My local sci-fi/fantasy bookstore takes representation and diverse voices seriously, so I’ll doubtless find more hidden gems.

MOVIES

Fingersmith. (Technically a miniseries.) I love this adaptation so much. The Korean horror version, The Handmaiden, is also supposed to be good, but it seems too gory and full of weird sex stuff- beyond the book’s erotic literature -for my personal taste.

The Favourite. Artsy, dramatic, funny in parts, and might leave you saying “...what?” but also “GAAAAAAY.” In 1701, two noblewomen vie for the attention of Queen Anne I of England. Attention in a platonic way but also in an oral sex way. The costuming is amazing even if almost all the characters are horrible people. So hewing close to history all the way ‘round, then.

Portrait of a Lady On Fire. Pining! An island off the coast of Brittany! Pining! The vague 1700s! Pining! Art! Did I mention pining? There’s. So much damn pining. THis is a movie I really liked because THE COUPLE ACTUALLY HAS CHEMISTRY. PRAISE THE HOLY TRIFECTA OF APHRODITE, CLIO, AND SAPPHO, GODDESSES AND HONORED ANCESTOR OF GOOD HISTORICAL WLW REPRESENTATION. The ending was disappointing, but I was just so glad to see a movie with a historical sapphic couple that actually seemed in love with each other. A movie that wasn’t Fingersmith.

A lot of LGBT movies aren’t really to my liking, because queer history and/or fantasy isn’t exactly a much-explored genre onscreen at the moment. Boo.

SHOWS

Carmilla. A webseries VERY loosely based on the Victorian novel of the same name/my favorite book. College freshman Laura Hollis sets out to investigate the disappearance of her roommate at a school that might as well be Night Vale University. But the appearance of a snarky, gorgeous vampire named Carmilla takes the weird to a whole other level. Also features a nonbinary mad scientist and two main Black characters- an Amazonian warrior woman, and a glamorous vampire with a penchant for corporate machination. (though the latter two don’t appear until s2, when fans were like “this show is very white” and creators were like “crap, you’re right; let’s rectify that.” one of them gets killed. she gets resurrected a few episodes later, though, because nobody on this show stays dead). This is my main fandom. Highly recommend.

Wynonna Earp. Honestly why don’t I just say “the wlw Megafandom c. 2015″ and be done with it? Wynonna, an irresponsible screw-up and descendant of Wyatt Earp, returns to her small, rural hometown just in time to turn 27 and activate the curse that forces her to put down the vengeful spirits of everyone killed with Wyatt’s gun. All of whom have it out for her family, and some of whom have bigger agendas of their own. Her sister  Waverly is a cinnamon roll history nerd dating The Only Valid Cop, Nicole. (Though how much normal police work Nicole does is highly debatable, since most of the crime in her town is demon-related.) Pretty violent, but well worth a watch if you can handle that.

I just realized I don’t actually watch much LGBT TV, either. Possibly because I’m not overly interested in things that aren’t historical or sci-fi/fantasy and my thematic tastes are very specific?

Anyway, those are my big favorites. But I’m sure there are other great pieces of media out there. Who knows what will cross my radar next- or yours?

[icameheretowinry]

number 1!

1. who’s your celebrity crush?

Ok... listen... My celebrity crush coincides with my current Favorite Thing™ so I really apologize if I ramble. 

It’s no secret that I really love a band called Day6. I’ve been a HUGE fan of theirs since 2018, and even got to see them in concert last September as an early birthday present. I own almost all of their albums, and respect tf out of them. Both my ig and twt usernames are based on this band. 

I freaking ADORE the bass player. His name is Young K (a.k.a. Brian Kang a.k.a. Kang Younghyun). He writes 90% of Day6′s music, plays multiple instruments, has the voice of an ANGEL, and is the chaotic middle child of the group. He is MADE of talent and makes my heart bust the biggest uwu on a daily basis. 

He’s also really really CUTE alright. I haven’t had a crush in like 4 years but I have a FAT one on him. I did a quick fan meet after the concert I went to, and buffered irl like a low-quality youtube video when I got to give him a high-five. I was... a complete mess. THIS DOESN’T HAPPEN TO ME. EVER.

This is a pretty accurate representation as to what this is like...

[anythingsaidproductions]

My song “Riot Grrrl Zine” is a long time coming from the way I grew up. Being a child in the 90’s put me in an odd spot with finding what it was to be empowered as a girl. Flooded with pop culture, I became immersed in a certain idea of “GIRL POWER” that would later drown me. I saw women who performed music in an entirely different way than I saw men. Therefore, as I grew into a young woman who, herself, wanted to be a singer, my idea of what I had to look like became my main focus.

I appreciated the large landscape of possibilities with music from a young age. I loved how it made me feel, without having to be touched. As I grew up, insecurities would set in, and self doubt would pave the way to self sabotage. The desire inside to sing and perform music has never been questioned. I simply didn’t see in the mirror what I saw on TV, or in magazines. The reality of being a pop singer felt like less of a possibility as time went on.

By the time I was 15, I had dealt with “normal” issues like parents divorcing, moving towns, and gaining emotional-eating weight. The end result left me unhappy with my body and unhappy with myself ultimately. At that age, I had made attempts at self-harm and being bulimic, but I wasn’t able to push past the physical pain of it. When a friend of mine gave me a burned CD of The Used’s self-titled album, I was reminded of how music numbed my emotional pain. I couldn’t get enough of this beautiful, angry and very sad music. Anything in this genre, I became obsessed with. Linkin Park, Taking Back Sunday, My Chemical Romance became my remedy to life.

By the time I was 18, I was figuring out music was my only answer. I remembered how badly I wanted to be a pop star when I was younger, but I didn’t look like Britney or Christina. I started desperately seeking a woman to look to for guidance. Paramore became my rock. They embodied the music that got me through my years, but had a woman singer who I could relate to. I no longer wanted to be a popstar, I wanted to be able to sing. Sing my heart out with every bit of pain I was drowning in.

The problem was that every time I opened my mouth to sing, my childhood insecurities resurfaced. I was comparing myself to the level of talent and skill of experience Hayley Williams had herself. I just wanted to make music that felt good and sounded good, but I had no real understanding of what it took to become that level of singer.

I did what I knew I could, and I found a voice teacher who specialized in live-performance singing and rock music based training. I trained and I practiced and I visualized and I believed this was happening for me. I believed that my dreams were around the corner, and I was going to be on stage with Paramore themselves, singing a duet. I worked hard, and started writing a lot of music. I was able to write and record a 6 song EP entirely on my own.

As quickly as I believed it was happening, I just as quickly lost hope in my dream. The EP I put out didn’t get me signed, it didn’t blow up on soundcloud, and my youtube videos of song covers weren’t going viral. I blamed everything on not being “good enough.” Finally, the glorious day came when I watched the documentary called Miss Representation. I took the red pill, and I woke up from “the matrix” of the patriarchy. I had no idea how my mind was manipulated into seeing myself as a participant in this world.

Flashbacks to being 10 years old, in the locker room of the tennis club, as my grandmother stands me in front of a mirror. She pinches my tummy, which is exposed from my two piece bathing suit, and tells me “This is fat. You don’t want this.” She was a Hollywood starlet, and I know honestly it wasn’t her fault she believed this was the base of a woman’s value. She was looking out for me, the best way she knew how. In her industry, to be skinny, was to be liked. This is what fed my doubt for the next decade of my life.

At 25, I watched the documentary The Punk Singer, about Kathleen Hanna and her part in the Riot Grrrl movement. For the first time in my life, I felt like I had the green light to go after my dreams. I wanted to sing my pain, and these women knew how. The honesty of their experiences, being screamed through a microphone was a whole new world for me. Up until this point, I thought only men could do this, and definitely the only ones who were taken seriously. I finally saw that I could make my music, and not have to look or sound a certain way.

I desperately sought anyone who would want to join me in my crusade to make loud music. I struggled to find bandmates, and so I looked to my partner of 5 years. She had originally introduced me to Riot Grrrl music, so I asked if she’d be willing to learn the bass guitar. A short amount of time went by before our band, I Dream of Darlene, was created. We wanted the name to combine our passion for strong females in good sitcom television, and our “punk rock” attitude. Naming our band after Darlene Connor from the show Roseanne, we felt like we had plenty of inspiration to get us going. We wrote songs surprisingly well together, and made a set list we were both proud of.

I was too eager. I was too earnest. I wanted to be on stage creating an experience. I booked us shows, and before I knew it, we were on stage. Simple rhythms and easy chord progressions were trying to carry the meaningful message I felt like I was singing. When the show I had put the most time and thought into finally came, we played to a nearly empty venue. Drive and passion are important, but I was reluctant to do the work before putting it on display.

Hiend sight truly is the clear vision of our actions, and most definitely the mistakes. The self doubt was obviously still eating me from the inside, because I practiced music the same way I looked in the mirror, with blinders. I never really allowed myself to examine my body too closely, for fear of how badly I would tear myself apart. I never allowed myself to participate in my own music, for fear of hating what I was working on. I don’t think I ever truly gained the calluses on my fingers that would have led to proper guitar playing.

Like every other project up until this point in my life, I put it up on the shelf to be finished at another point. This was in 2016, and since then I stopped performing live. I went to my voice lessons, but still hiding away from the world. Until I got an invitation to audition for t.v. show The Voice. I thought to myself, this is it! Immediately, I began my training like I was going to the Olympics. I pushed myself farther than I ever had before, my own dedication actually inspired me. I sang so much, that come the audition, my throat and voice was shot. Regardless of not getting it, leaving the audition I was elated. I was actually doing what I had always wanted to do. Sing.

A lot of events happened in my life between 2016 to 2019 that molded me and helped me grow. For a year, my wife and I took care of our niece when she was just 10 months old. I grew patience, I grew understanding, but most of all I gained the faith in my capabilities to go after any dream of mine if I took the right steps.

My voice teacher set me up with his best friend’s son to produce a song together. For years, he had told me that he loved my song “Riot Grrrl Zine,” and promoted it more than I ever did. It needed some finishing touches before being sent off to be produced, so I sat down with my wife and asked her how she first discovered the music of the riot grrrl movement. I wanted the song to have these answers for people hearing it for the first time, and who don’t know about this movement. Filling in some new lyrics, and finding a bridge to complete the song, finally it was finished and sent off to the producer. Now I waited... Finally the day came to go to the studio. Things were finally moving forward and I was going to a real music studio to record my own song!

The hardest lesson to learn is that I needed to experience life to grow. No book or movie can give the full understanding it takes to make things happen. I sat back in my comfort zone for many years, hoping that enough wishing on stars was going to make things happen. Action has to take place, and the more times that action occurs, the stronger that dream becomes a reality.

“Riot Grrrl Zine” is my story of how I may not have grown up with riot grrrl music, but it eventually reached me and made its imprint on me. I may not embody the punk rock spirit entirely, but the music is a piece of me and I am excited to share this with the world.

[yume9755-blog]

Rhetorical Analysis of “All About That Bass”

No matter where you turn images of the “perfect” body type are being imprinted in your brain. The idea of the “perfect” body is advertised through billboards, commercials, and even music videos. In a way society’s views on body image brainwash the way that people view themselves typically in a negative way. In general, music videos help promote the idea that the way you look is the only thing that matters. Music videos create the illusion of the glamourous world that only individuals who have a modelesque body can obtain.

One music video that promotes body image in reverse is “All About That Bass,” by Meghan Trainor. This popular song describes body shaming in reverse. Although the song clearly states the idea that there is no shame in having a bigger body, there is also a hidden message behind the words. This song seems to be promoting self love towards the body you have but puts those individuals who are skinny and in shape down. In the music video Meghan Trainor is dancing with other girls who are all around the same body size as her. Although, Meghan is not fat, in society’s eyes she is considered to be more plus size. The visual representation that “bigger” girls can have fun and get attention from others helps break the stigma that is associated with larger body types.

This music video was creatively well done. Having dancers who do not have the traditional dancer’s body catches the attention of those with a similar body type. Throughout the music video  Meghan and her dancers are enjoying themselves when a skinny girl  shows up. Once this modelesque girl is introduced into the video it is clear that she does not belong. Besides her body size, she is dressed in plastic wrap, insinuating that thin girls are fake. There is a part of the song that goes, “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night,” saying that guys like girls who have more fat on their bones. The skinny girl gets shown to be rejected by the guy in the video because of the way she looks. The producer of this music video cleverly sneaks in the idea that skinniness and fitness should not be desired if you want to get all the guys and have a fun life.

The colors used in this video manipulate the viewers to think that Meghan is a sweet innocent girl. Now I am not saying that she is not a sweet person, because I am sure she is, I just see what actions were taken to make this video successful. The light pastel colors that are used in this video create a calming almost childish feeling. These colors along with the girly outfits, creates a feeling of innocent, fun, nice girls. Ideally, nice girls are not bullies, hidden bullying in this case is present by shaming those who work on having a thin body. The lyrics of this song say that things like “I ain’t no size two,”  “I won't be no stick figure, silicone Barbie doll,” although she does not come out saying that it is not good to be skinny, she clearly states that she will never fall into the “skinny” trend.

Meghan Trainor’s song influences the body positive movement that aims to help individuals feel more positive about their bodies despite their weight. This is demonstrated in verse two of her song: "I see the magazines workin' that Photoshop/ We know that shit ain't real, C'mon now, make it stop/ If you got beauty beauty, just raise ‘em up/ Cause every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top," This verse indicates that women who think they are fat should feel good about their bodies. While the rest of the song contradicts this while constantly reminding them that they are not skinny. This song ultimately promotes skinny hate by showing the girls being standoffish and mean to the skinny girl. It is definitely demeaning to tell others that they are fat but it is just as demeaning to tell others that they are skinny as well.

How is it that body shaming is only bad when it is towards “fat” people and ok when it is towards “skinny” people? The interesting thing about this song is that it has been viewed as an anthem to promote positive body image but does so by having a negative outlook on those who are skinny. The way you look is not the only important thing. Unfortunately, in this day and time it seems to be one of the highest things on people's minds. Ideally, women should not have to worry about being “perfect from the bottom to the top.” This line does not only indicate “body perfection” in general but also tells women that the reason to like your body is because men like their bodies. Unhealthy self esteem can come from the idea that a woman’s only purpose is to please a man, even though this is not the case.

Behind the popular catchy tune, and artistic music video, the public can be manipulated with what this song is promoting. The main idea of, love your body, that this song is sharing has multiple layers that does not always tie into this main idea. For an anthem of self love, it lacks equality for all body types and shames those who are thin and do not have “big booties.” Although, this song is loved and appreciated by many individuals wanting to make a difference in the ideal body stigmas, other important concerns that this song impies become more disturbing. Instead of pushing each other down, we should value individuals for who they are instead of how they look. The illusion music videos show of living in a glamorous world based on your body is all a facade. There is much more to life than how your body looks.

[racingtoaredlight]

spencer096′s Precision Bass Project:  I love big fat necks

It’s hard to give a visual representation of a fat neck, but this is pretty good.  Look at that chunky dude just waddling around like a fat fuck sweating outside in January.

***

Neck preference is as unique as all of our different hand sizes.  There are hundreds of variables that go into which neck you’ll prefer, so many so that I’ve deleted two versions of this post already.  Because they all ended up with me yelling at skinny, narrow necks and maybe-jokingly questioning the masculinity of those who play them.

Of course, it wouldn’t make sense to think that someone with small hands and short fingers wouldn’t like a baseball bat neck...but I’m not that person and I fucking love ‘em chunky.  Thin necks just feel like I might snap them like a twig if I bend a note too hard.  Narrow necks feel like I’m holding onto a notecard with strings on it.  Slim nut widths make me feel like I’m trying to do jumping jacks in a Toyota Corolla.  I need some meat, baby.

Heavy, flatwound strings with high action...a fat fuck of a neck...I like my instruments setup in a fashion that someone picking it up would audibly question how anyone could possibly play this thing.  A guitar that you don’t have to work to make sound good, likely sounds like shit.

There are scientific explanations for this...mass, vibrations, shit like that...but this is purely emotional.  The feel of a fat neck in my hands just fits...there’s no extra space to have to adjust to, every note I want to play is right there, with no extra hand movements required.  There’s no cramping from having to pinch a narrow neck or hesitation from not being able to really dig in.

Psychologically, playing a fat neck puts me in a different mindset.  Simply picking up the guitar or bass to tune, and holding the neck, erases any unease I’d possibly have about my instrument...I can focus on the important thing, the music.  And holding that beast of a guitar or bass neck made me feel like I was ready to fucking kick that music’s ass all night long.

If a neck doesn’t fit your hand right, it doesn’t matter how good an instrument sounds, how good a value it is, how good it looks...you will never, ever be happy with that instrument, and your music will reflect that.  You will hear hundreds of musicians say they play that piece of shit because of the neck, but almost nobody will say they hate the neck but still play it.  Because every note you play on a neck that doesn’t fit your hand is a reminder that your search is still ongoing.

***

This is going to be a short post today, mostly because I don’t really feel like talking about the different technical aspects of the neck.  Those technical aspects simply DO NOT MATTER if the neck doesn’t FEEL right.

Fender, as a company, didn’t get to their position as the world’s largest musical instrument company by ignoring what their customers wanted.  And they weren’t ignorant to the musical trends of the respective eras either.

Music in the 50′s was TOTALLY DIFFERENT than music in the mid to late 60′s.  Quantum leap would be a good word to describe it.  In the 50′s, Fender guitars and basses had giant necks.  The P-Bass had essentially a Louisville Slugger on there, and the guitars had this beautiful V-shape that made playing chords lower on the neck a fucking breeze.

As music got more complex and melodic...and players started making modifications...Fender changed the shape of their necks from a “V” to their iconic “C” profile.  The “C” profile sat right in the middle...not too fat, but not thin...not too rounded of a fretboard radius (the roudner the radius, the more effort it requires and more resistance you encounter, when trying to play fast or bend notes...same thing with taller frets vs. small vintage frets)...it’s this profile from 1962-65 on guitars and basses that’s considered the platonic ideal to a substantial portion of the stringed instrument world.

The decades moved forward, the necks got slimmer and narrower, manufacturing got more advanced, and now every option is on the table.  But, in my hands’ opinion, the Fender necks from the 50′s were the ones to beat.  Leo nailed it the first time around...well, provided you have giant hands...and I went even further.

Measuring at the nut, P-Basses with that classic 60′s “C” shape measured 0.80-0.85″ a the nut...the fact that manufacturing tolerances were so tight given that all these instruments were hand carved and sanded is just outrageous (today, Fender has a 0.10″ tolerance in either direction with computer-run CNC machines).  Precisions from 1951-60 were 0.83-0.88″ at the nut.  All had 7.5″ fretboard radius, small, narrow frets and a 1 3/4″ nut width.  All were between 1.00-1.02″ at the 12th fret.

I got mine at 0.92″ at the nut (1.01″ at 12th fret), 9.5″ radius and medium-tall frets (easier to play melodic lines and bend notes), 1 5/8″ nut width (the P-Bass moved to this nut width in 1971...and in my opinion, that 2mm difference is substantial enough taper to make for a noticeably smoother transition up the fretboard vs. the 1 3/4″ nut).

That narrower nut width isn’t anywhere near as cramped as the Jazz Bass’ 1 1/2″ nut width, and I’m more comfortable with the modern 1 5/8″ than the 1 3/4″...to put it in a little perspective, my current 5-string bass has a 1 3/4″ nut width with an extra string.  A few mm difference might not seem like much, but it’s noticeable when you’re playing.

***

It sounds strange to actively build a bass that sounds like it’s difficult to play, but it’s one-part biology, one-part preference and one-part practice.

Fat necks aren’t for everyone, especially if you have smaller hands.  That’s just common sense, even if some guys with smaller hands actually do prefer them.  And, of course, with enough practice you can adjust to just about anything.

However, with heavy strings and high action, you gotta keep your chops up because there’s not much room for technical error.  Flubbed notes and buzzing frets will come out, and with flatwound strings, if you’re not right on the note, that note’s fundamental is lost and you don’t have the extra harmonics from roundwound strings to compensate.

But the trade-off when it comes to tone is worth it.  You have to work harder in the practice room to play fast, and work harder onstage to make the instrument sing, but you’re rewarded with absolutely beautiful, solid tone.  Harmonics are produced with every note, regardless of type of string, but you can’t ignore physics...more mass in the string, body, neck, etc means that fundamental note will be 100% solid and project more efficiently.

Pretty much from the time I was 20 years old onward, my preference for instrument setup is “how the fuck can anyone play that?”  Because once you can play that, you’ll ask yourself why anyone would want to play an instrument setup any other way.

[happymetalgirl]

The 60 Best Metal Albums of 2018

2018 was such a huge year for metal, and I know that every year is great for metal with the abundance of fantastic artists big and small out there, but this year felt so big to me, perhaps because of so much of what the music this year was the soundtrack to, but also for the sheer number of unexpected masterpieces. This year I reviewed 170 metal albums, not including the 15 I briefly talked about missing in 2017, which is more than the total number of albums I even listened to across all genres last year, which is weird because I have actually been busier this year than last. But I am rather pleased with how much more I was able to immerse myself into metal this year, at all levels of accessibility, and given the fact that the coming year might come with some changes and limitations to my output, here’s to 2018, and the 60 incredible albums (LPs and EPs alike) that captivated me this year.

Also, this should go without saying, but this is not just my opinion, these are objectively the 60 best metal albums of the year, and if you disagree, well then you’re wrong.

60. Coheed and Cambria – Vaxis – Act I: The Unheavenly Creatures

I was expecting to kind of tolerate this one at best, which is weird because I enjoyed the band’s last album quite a bit. But this album took me on such a little nostalgia ride through my adolescence and the music I enjoyed at that time in my life. I’m glad I got an album like this that can make me look back at that part of my life fondly, because God knows lots of other stuff makes me look back with a little bit of shame.

59. Harm’s Way – Posthuman

A fresh batch of lethal Chicago hardcore with a modern update, no bullshit, no nonsense, just punishing, crushing, proficient metallic hardcore that adds to the genre’s growing dominance within metal.

58. Unearth – Extinction(s)

I was so glad to hear Unearth put out an honest, classic metalcore album (with a few modern updates as well) instead of following so many of their peers into the clutches of radio rock pandering, and Extinction(s) is an excellent example of the punch the mid-2000’s style can still pack.

57. XavlegbmaofffassssitimiwoamndutroabcwapwaeiippohfffX – Gore 2.0

I’m amazed a comical grindcore album actually had the content to sustain an hour’s worth of songs, both playfully mocking and proficiently conjuring the absurdly gory brutality of the genre on a tremendous variety of creative tracks whose impossible-to-articulate lyrics are well worth reading along with.

56. Bloodbath – The Arrow of Satan Is Drawn

Even performing below their peak form, Bloodbath is a force to be reckoned with in death metal, and The Arrow of Satan Is Drawn is a fine representation of their continued mastery of the genre. The slight drop in chemistry due to their less frequent and consistent output since Mikael Åkerfeldt’s departure can be felt a bit on this project, but even so, it’s a crushing album that I am glad to have from them this year.

55. Jesus Piece – Only Self

An excellent debut from the hardcore freshmen, Only Self isn’t the most adventurous of hardcore albums, but it sure hits the nail on the head and makes up for its lack of novelty with fiery performances.

54. Chelsea Grin – Eternal Nightmare

It was a quiet year for deathcore, but not a bad one, as Chelsea Grin made a resounding comeback of sorts after their lackluster 2016 album. Eternal Nightmare finds the band seemingly taking noted from the likes of Carnifex and Fit for an Autopsy, who all trimmed the fat on their respective deathcore styles and modernized their sound to help them stand out more.

53. Deadspace – Mouth of Scorpions

Any EP that makes this list must be doing a lot right to surpass so many other albums, and the three songs Deadspace bring to this album are among their best, returning after their slightly disappointing LP last year, to the potent DSBM that drew me to them in the first place. The band have announced a new album for early next year, and this EP has me rather excited for it.

52. Summoning – With Doom We Come

With Doom We Come was definitely one of the most interesting pieces of folk metal I have heard in a long time, with Summoning taking their winding, cinematic, Tolkien-inspired ambient approach over the course of eight songs. I liked the way the band was able to transform he central motifs they based the songs around in interesting ways for the extended lengths they took.

51. Panopticon – The Scars of Man on the Once Nameless Wilderness, Pt. 1

The heavier of the two discs from Panopticon’s double album this year showed Austin Lunn’s slight imbalance in his compositional strength when compared to his second, folk-driven disc.

50. Machine Head – Catharsis

I know a lot of people hated this album for Robb Flynn’s preachiness before and during the promo cycle and on a few moments on a few songs on the album, but honestly, it really wasn’t that preachy when you actually got into the lyrics, and there were a lot of good deep cuts on the album that I kept coming back to. As a pretty big fan of Machine Head, I do agree though, yes, this is rather subpar for them given we’ve been blessed with a string of truly tremendous albums over the past decade or so. But this album’s weakness lies not in its “SJW-ness” or Robb’s politics. It’s an album that shows the band’s creativity wearing thin, which makes sense in the wake of Dave and Phil leaving the band a few months ago. Catharsis sounds like a very natural progression from the diversity of the incredible Bloodstone & Diamonds, just an unfortunately watered-down version of that album. Nevertheless, I think there is enough quality on Catharsis to consider it a good album, even it will naturally be outshined by The Blackening, Burn My Eyes, and Bloodstone & Diamonds.

49. Impending Doom – The Sin and Doom Vol. II

Deathcore album of the year right here; Impending Doom came back after a relatively long break, sanded off the rust, and picked up where they left off with The Sin and Doom Vol. II, an album of straight-up early 2010’s-style djenty deathcore bangers.

48. Wreck and Reference – Alien Pains

This surprise, four-track EP showed a lot of Wreck and Reference’s experimental sides within black metal, as well as their proficiency at industrial rock on the two songs in the middle. It’s definitely a thirst-quenching appetizer for whatever their next album might be.

47. Innumerable Forms – Punishment in Flesh

One of my favorite debut releases, Punishment in Flesh was in many ways this year’s answer to Primitive Man’s Caustic, not a cheap rip-off of that project, but definitely one that carries a similarly pessimistic and relentlessly sludgy atmosphere, although much quicker and less drone-y than Caustic often got. It’s a great start for this band and one that has me eager to see where they take their sound next.

46. Frontierer – Unloved

The Car Bomb comparisons this album has been piled atop with are certainly warranted, though I’m not sure I’d say Frontierer show the same knack for groove that Car Bomb did on their 2016 album. Nevertheless, Unloved is a properly punishing and comprehensive mathcore album. At just under an hour, the band prove they can still hold attention spans with the sheer madness they harness.

45. Thou – Rhea Sylvia

This was the third EP to precede the release of Thou’s full-length album, Magus, this year. I enjoyed the grungy twist the band took on their signature sludge sound, especially on songs like “Deepest Sun” with some sorrowful vocal harmonies that hearken directly to Alice in Chains.

44. Holy Fawn – Death Spells

Holy Fawn take an incredibly beautiful and extremely nature-inspired approach to the sounds of ambient black metal on this album. It’s a truly welcoming and meditative album, and one that I think makes a great case for the lighter side of black metal.

43. Judas Priest – Firepower

Judas Priest came back with such an unbelievably powerful classic heavy metal offering this year, indeed a late-career masterpiece and one that proves how passionate and talented the band still are. It’s an album that showcases their expertise with the style without coming off as joyless exhibition.

42. Thou – Magus

Thou’s full-length album of 2018 is definitely their most well-produced and sonically pleasing release with the way everything from the down-tuned guitars to the drums and bass are allowed to shine simultaneously to best represent Thou’s signature sludgy doom. Compositionally it’s pretty on par with most of their work in this lane too, but it’s really an album more about the thick atmosphere than anything else, and that it certainly delivers.

41. Halestorm – Vicious

Definitely my favorite straightforward hard rock album of the year, this record has so many tightly composed rockers, and with such a tasteful note of heavy metal, I couldn’t help but repeat so many of the songs on here throughout the year. It’s a bit inconsistent, but when it’s high its really high.

40. The Body – I Have Fought Against It, But I Can’t Any Longer

Finally, after a few poor splits and collaborations that made me more irritated than hyped for their following full-length, The Body did pretty well on their new, focused LP. It’s in many ways The Body as usual, but with a few new twists that make it an interesting experience and not just a rehash of previous efforts.

39. Echo Beds – Buried Language

It was a good year for experimental black metal, and this one was one of my favorite pieces of it. Definitely in line with Wreck and Reference, this album takes a slightly more industrial approach than W&R usually do, and it is a thrilling, interesting listen all the way through.

38. Mamaleek – Out of Time

Speaking of experimental black metal, Mamaleek continues to push the genre’s boundaries into more hushed, folky territory that still retains the sinister quality of the genre, and this is probably their most comprehensive foray into the black metal unknown, yet they sound so comfortable and confident doing it.

37. Wayfarer – World’s Blood

Another American black metal release, World’s Blood is a more standard display of the style’s post-metallic power, though with a subtle Western flair itself. With five focused, well-constructed pieces, it’s a pretty engaging listen each step of the way, and one that does well to highlight its subtle differences from the rest of the ambient black metal crop.

36. Deafheaven – Ordinary Corrupt Human Love

And on the topic of American black metal, we have the fourth album from Deafheaven, one that I was a bit confused with at first but still ended up loving for its nice representation of the band’s brighter side. It’s an album that reminds me so much of the love I have for certain people and how unperfect, yet precious and beautiful it is.

35. Behemoth – I Loved You at Your Darkest

Along with Deafheaven’s new album, this was probably my most anticipated release of the year, and as much as I knew it was likely not going to outdo The Satanist, I was pleased with how well this album continued from where Behemoth left off on that album. Channeling the same grand, biblical style of blackened death metal the band had found their sweet spot in, it came with a bit odder experimentation, but not enough to sink the album. Overall, it’s a respectable follow-up to one of the best death metal albums of the new millennium.

34. Philip H. Anselmo & The Illegals – Choosing Mental Illness as a Virtue

I like the angry death metal anarchy that Phil’s band conjures on this album. It and Phil’s unfiltered vocal aggression are a nice match for each other, and it makes for a wild ride all the way through. It’s definitely an album whose appeal is based on the rawness of its delivery, but it’s not just senseless cacophony; the band clearly know how to harness this type of death metal and let it rage on a long leash in their favor.

33. Keiji Haino & Sumac - American Dollar Bill: Keep Facing Sideways, You're Too Hideous to Look at Face On

This one is favorite collaborative release of the year with Keiji Haino and Sumac playing off each other’s respective styles so well, knowing how to ebb and flow within the waves the other creates, it’s a very noisy and odd release, but one that finds everything on here in such a complimentary form. I wish more collaborations in metal had this kind of well-worked chemistry between artists.

32. Of Feather and Bone – Bestial Hymns of Perversion

One of the year’s earlier and most punishing straight-up death metal releases, Bestial Hymns of Perversion is all meat, no fat, and such a quick, but ripping example of death metal at its rawest and most primal.

31. TesseracT – Sonder

As short as Sonder ended up being, I definitely found it to be a step up from Tesseract’s previous album, with the band doing well to craft the kind of shimmering progressive metal anthems that Daniel Tompkins can shine on.

30. Sumac – Love in Shadow

It was a good year for Sumac, coming through with a strong collaborative effort earlier in the year and then following up with their third LP. At only four songs, the album makes the most of the long time is has with each piece, and it’s one that I found myself coming back to so often throughout the year. I think the band outdid all their previous efforts, including their other collaboration this year.

29. Horrendous – Idol

Watching the evolution of Horrendous has been fascinating for the past several years, and seeing them transform into a fully-fledged progressive death metal juggernaut on Idol is one of the most rewarding sights to behold. The band channel raw, snarling growls and expert instrumental power on this album. The band still manage to retain their harsh, ugly roots, but pour that malice into a much more elegant form on this album, and I am definitely here for it.

28. High on Fire – Electric Messiah

It was a pretty big year for Matt Pike, and a major part of that was High on Fire’s follow-up to 2015’s Luminiferous. Taking a bit more of a proggy approach to their thrashy sludge metal worked out pretty well for the most part. It’s in many ways, High on Fire as usual, but also a more extensive application of their gruff, no-nonsense metal.

27. Portal – Ion

The wait between this album and their harrowing Vexovoid was well worth it as Ion captures the band’s most abysmal and spaciously apocalyptic sound in the form of chaotically collapsing technical death metal compositions that take a tremendous amount of listening to fully wrap one’s mind around.

26. Watain – Trident Wolf Eclipse

Watain’s long-awaited follow-up to The Wild Hunt finds them taking it back to basics in the shortest time frame yet, and as overshadowed as this album is likely to end up being next to albums like Sworn to the Dark and Casus Luciferi, it’s still a fiery piece of straightforward black metal that I have enjoyed all throughout the year.

25. Evoken – Hypnagogia

Definitely one of the most thrilling death/doom releases I’ve heard in a good while, Evoken go in for the long haul on this album and come through with a thick, well-cultivated atmosphere of gloom and remorse.

24. Thou – The House Primordial

This was he first-released EP leading up to Magus, and it did so well to concentrate Thou’s harsh black metal side into an interesting arrangement of songs that quickly establish a deep, sardonic atmosphere that takes that side of Thou to the extreme.

23. Thou – Inconsolable

The second EP of the three, and my favorite, is not really a metal album at all, but one whose sorrowful beauty I kept returning to. I love the vocal features the band brought on to give each of the moody, grungy songs on here a unique flair, and the band’s excellence with this softer style of music is incredible.

22. Architects – Holy Hell

One of the most triumphant metalcore albums I have heard in a long time, and one on which I think Architects managed to outdo themselves. Overcoming a crippling death to carry on with =, I think, their best album to date is certainly a feat to appreciate.

21. Sleep – The Sciences

This album took a while to grow on me, but grow it did, and I found myself enjoying and appreciating the thick walls of sound of a genre I had previously been apprehensive about. After finding the most fitting way to listen to this style of music, I can say now that I do enjoy myself some stoner metal.

20. Vein – Errorzone

Definitely one of the most punishing hardcore albums of the past few years, Errorzone is a bold amalgamation of nu metal and metalcore that takes the best of both worlds and smashes them together in an explosive array of violent noise that shoots Vein straight to the upper rungs of the genre.

19. Carnation – Chapel of Abhorrence

Another excellent debut album, Chapel of Abhorrence gave Bloodbath and Cannibal Corpse a run for their money with the dense brutality Carnation were able to conjure up on this album. Without any real notable weaknesses, this album is a tremendous opening statement for one of death metal’s most ambitious newcomers.

18. Polyphia – New Levels New Devils

This was such a fulfilling and unique math rock album that took the swagger of hip hop and made the band’s instrumental show-y-ness even cooler and flashier, elevating it above the autopilot mush of the style.

17. Hissing – Permanent Destitution

Another excellent debut album, this time channeling the experimental noisiness of black metal into a harsh, slightly industrially ambient experience that no other album has really ever captured before. It’s the kind of album that appears to be just standard abrasive black metal chaos on the surface, but the way the band work with so many different musical ideas and swirl them round so well o this album is what makes it so intriguing.

16. Imperial Triumphant – Vile Luxury

And on the topic of intriguing music, Imperial Triumphant come through with one of the most uniquely blues-y, jazzy incantations of death metal this year. Taking the eerie dissonance of traditional jazz and mashing it together with the apocalyptic sounds of death metal to convey the metropolitan filth of the Big Apple.

15. Andrew W.K. – You’re Not Alone

This whole album is the injection of positivity metal needed not just this year, but more of in general. While it’s on the borderline between hard rock and heavy metal, I still found it to be a refreshingly uplifting and encouraging set of songs that embody the type of positive outlook on life that I think needs more endorsement in heavy music. And of course, it opens with my song of the year, “Music Is Worth Living For”, which just perfectly captures my deep love and appreciation for music, which the rest of the album continues unashamedly.

14. A Perfect Circle – Eat the Elephant

Eat the Elephant was a lot softer in most parts than I and a lot of fans were expecting, but A Perfect Circle really proved that their return to music was really based on artistic inspiration and not financial desperation with the evolved and magnificently cohesive sounds they traversed on the album’s various tracks.

13. Infernal Coil – Within a World Forgotten

So many strong debut albums this year, and Infernal Coil’s was definitely one of my favorites. Channeling the heaviest side of Leviathan’s menacing and abysmal depressive black metal, Infernal Coil conjures a short, but enthralling experience on Within a World Forgotten. It’s one that I continually return to for its massive, abusive heaviness and one that makes me eager to see how Infernal Coil continue to shape their sonic identity in the years to come.

12. Obscura – Diluvium

As much as I like Obscura, I was surprised with how comprehensively thrilling Diluvium was. Wrapping up all the musical ideas that have enhanced the group’s progression through the years, the same band that made the stunning Akróasis return with clearly developed chemistry to expound upon their previous work

11. Ghost – Prequelle

It took bit of adjustment from what I usually enjoy about Ghost’s music to appreciate this one. It felt so off at first, but after a while the extra extra cheese melted over this album is really just the very essence of Ghost taken to such a campy and unpredicted extreme, and it is all executed so tactfully and brilliantly underneath the album’s fun externa.

10. Alrakis – Echoes from Eta Carinae

It’s one single song, but I chose not to include it on my top songs list because it would be redundant talking about it here too, and I did want to express its greatness in the context of its comparison to other albums. However, this song, unlike most extensive proggy epics, really is one long, sprawling piece that takes its time to push and pull and really swirl in a well-thought-out aura of ambient black metal that manages to stay fascinating all throughout its one-of-a-kind ride.

9. Anna von Hausswolff – Dead Magic

I know this one’s not really super metal, but the thick sets of horns, organ, and tom drum beating against the gothy appeal and dark ambiance Anna von Hausswolff constructs is something I have been enjoying so thoroughly this year, and for many of the same reasons I’ve enjoyed so much of the dark ambient metal on this list.

8. The Atlas Moth – Coma Noir

This was such a fulfilling album that captured the ascension of the band’s evolution beyond standard post-metal-flavored blackgaze and into a realm all their own. The grooves on here, the sludgy riffs, everything about this record from a stylistic and compositional standpoint was so satisfying as an elevation of the band’s sound.

7. Rivers of Nihil – Where Owls Know My Name

Such a breath of fresh air for technical progressive death metal and such an exponential continuation of growth for Rivers of Nihil, the pure emotion this album is album to pack into such an ordinarily soulless genre is something to behold and something I have loved relistening to all throughout the year. As nuanced as it is, it sacrifices nothing in the way of death metal brutality to get there.

6. meth. – I Love You

This has been by far the most criminally underrated debut by any band this year. Although only a five-song EP, the band showcase such a compelling excellence with the harsh, abrasive chaos they wrangle on here, mashing the harsh blackened noise of a band like Full of Hell with the whopping hardcore punch of the kind of metalcore pioneered by Converge and recently enhanced by groups like Code Orange. These few short songs are all such an incredible display of prowess with a bold blend of styles that makes meth. THE band to keep an eye on for future releases.

5. Revocation – The Outer Ones

Revocation quite possibly outdid their already phenomenal discography on this album with a shift in focus toward cosmic technical death metal while still maintaining a firm grasp on the thrash roots that have given their music the grounded appeal in delicious riffs and solos. The Outer Ones is such a tremendously technical yet tasty release, I have been so thoroughly enjoying it this year. I love all the delicious guitar work and tasteful bass on this album and of course the magnificent drumming too, it’s all so awesome. Hell yeah Revocation, hell yeah!

4. Gevurah – Sulphur Soul

After a strong enough debut in 2016, Gevurah made an even more emphatic perfection of their blackened death metal sound that rivals in-form Behemoth on this four-track EP. Somehow without simply aping the Polish giants’ sound, Gevurah manage to capture the grand carnal essence of albums like Evangelion and The Satanist in a few sharp pounders boiling with cultish aura to give the band’s ravenous death metal a sophisticated lining.

3. Zeal and Ardor – Stranger Fruit

I was completely and pleasantly surprised with the thoroughness and the quickness of the band’s remedying of the flaws the held Devil Is Fine back, while pushing their sound forward with confidence and justified assuredness into bold new territory, coming through with so many incredible and diverse songs. This was exactly what I wanted from Zeal and Ardor, and I’m amazed I got it so quickly after their debut last year.

2. Daughters – You Won’t Get What You Want

Such a hellish and truly terrifying comeback album that shatters expectations or boundaries set by the band’s previous work, this album has such a primal and theatrical appeal to it that really works its way deep into the psyche and exposes the darkness in all of us, which is catalyzed so fearsomely by the unreal harsh noise across the album that the band so neatly and meticulously weaves into their performances. This album really captures the darkness of the human condition and the degree to with civilization has enhanced, rather than mitigated it. I love this album; it’s like nothing else I have ever heard.

1. Khemmis – Desolation

My Twitter fed and my songs-of-the-year list definitely gave this away, but Khemmis’ third album, Desolation, is far and away the most perfect album I have heard since Gojira’s Magma in 2016, and definitely my favorite album of the year. This album is just dripping with catharsis at every step of the way, and I have not been able to resist it all year since hearing it. From start to finish, it is nothing but raw, emotive heavy metal with a somber doom edge that the band still manages to twist into something incredibly triumphant. I cannot give this album enough love. After sitting with it for so long this year, I can say it is undoubtedly an unprecedented improvement upon the already excellent Hunted, and one that established Khemmis as heavy metal’s most exciting new band.

[bridgetsblogfornow]

Body Image

The main unrealistic representation of women on The Bachelor is that all the women are the ‘perfect’ woman. All the women are nearly identical in height, weight, and appearance. These women are what society deems to be the ideal woman and are constantly objectified on the show. As seen in the film Miss Representation, girls are seen as objects by others and so they begin to identify as objects. This objectification is then pushed onto the audience and they start to believe that they have to look like these women, and it becomes a vicious cycle of toxic representation. When the bachelor selects a woman who looks a certain way, it reinforces that her physique is the ideal and attractive physique that all women should strive for to be considered attractive (Klewin, 75). This objectification and subsequent reinforcement of the ‘ideal’ body image alienates an entire demographic of women who watch The Bachelor, which is plus size women.

There has never been a plus size woman on The Bachelor and therefore there has never been a plus size woman on The Bachelorette, because the bachelorette is chosen from the pool of women on the previous season of The Bachelor. This lack of representation does not go unnoticed by fans, and there has been quite the demand for more equal representation of body types on the show. The closest a plus size woman has gotten to being on The Bachelor is during Chris Soules season, when ‘plus size’ model Bo Stanley was cast as one of Soules suitors (Rosa, 2019). However, Stanley was eliminated from the show on the first night (Rosa, 2019). This tiny bit of representation was very good for the show because before the season even started, people were so excited to see a woman who more accurately represents the average woman. However, when Stanley was eliminated, fans felt like the producers of the show had failed them. They felt like they were promised this representation the they so desperately wanted and then had it ripped from their grasp.

Part of the reason that this representation brought to the show by Bo Stanley was so important is because repeated exposure to certain ideas on TV makes viewers believe that what they are viewing are real world representations (Adams-Bass et al.) For example, Black women watching The Bachelor do not see accurate representation of themselves on the show, and the representation they do see is very minimal. This would lead them to think that those stereotypes and portrayals are actually correct and should be how Black people act in the real world (Adams-Bass et al.). To give an example for fat women, after repeated exposure to only thin women on The Bachelor viewers may start to think that fat women do not belong or exist on television. They will subconsciously start to see the world as a place that should not have fat women because that is how the world is portrayed on TV.

[matts4-blog1]

track # 2 : umo

Aim

originally umo was conceptualized around the little guitar riff i created at the start, and after reflecting on what that riff could potentially do in terms of expressing me personally and pretty much based the rest of the tracks themes and ideas around that original sample.

my emotions around the guitar sample was that i felt it was quite an introspective look into alot of different feelings I was having during the time of creation, a complete mixing pot essentially all mixed in with this taste of nihilistic bliss. I was lost in my own thoughts and the world around me but I wanted to embrace that feeling and explore what was going on in different corners of my shit, I was down about shit not going my way but I didn’t really care because in the end nothing really matters. those where the main feelings i tried to capture in the first part of the piece.

the middle piece’s aim was to act the sort of representation of mellowing out after one of those emotional sort of semi existential crisis’s and artificially try to tell myself that because the nature of everything being nothing, why not kinda just say ah fuck it and enjoy it for what it is. this is where there is a sort of dialogue between me and the track which I thought was quite personally representative for how much music is becoming such a large part of my life that it can talk to me about some of my deepest emotions and thoughts better than any physical other human I've ever met, well except for maybe one but that’s for a later song.

this is where the third part comes in and is there to represent the final part of this emotional cycle which is when I try to enjoy what life has to offer in a sense. the upbeat dance vibe I thought represented going out and going to clubs and having a good night where things just flowed and was a general good time.

Elements

throughout the song there is various differing elements that are used due to the three different parts of the track. in the first part i feel like the focal point is the hard bass line that comes in halfway through. I decided to make this the focal point of the first part because of how I think bass personally effects me and that i love to feel a strong hit of bass as well as hearing it. it honestly has a pretty powerful effect on me and creates this sort of momentary bliss, which I thought would accompany the idea of nihilistic bliss well. it’s also coupled with the reverb heavy drums which really make it feel like im lost in my own mind but then the bass line comes in to sort of show me a sense of direction almost.

the middle part only has one element which i think is quite effective being solitary. the gradual rising of the intensity really helps bring home that message of it being me talking to myself saying that everything is nothing and that you should go ahead and try to enjoy it at least a little bit. the nature of the instrument itself building up in sonic presence then kinda coming down again is I guess also reflective of the amount of convincing it would take me to try and come to the conclusion of changing my mindset. but that’s retrospective criticality so it wasn’t directly intended in the creation.

the third part of the track is supposed to be much less meaningful and personal as it is just supposed to be reflecting that artificially created emotion of “I should enjoy this because what else is there to do”, which I think I managed to convey that shallow-ish sense of emotion to varying success. understanding its meaning to me would shed light upon how vaguely empty that part of the track feels, but it could be all just be a retrospective opinion that was drawn upon the music by me after creating it and not really having that same sort of emotion connected to the actual creation of the piece.  

Influences

so the obvious influence i probably have to mention is the one that the track is named after which is Unknown Mortal Orchestra because of how similar the actual playing of the guitar is in the sample I created.

1. Chronos Feasts on His Children - Unknown Mortal Orchestra

this is just essentially the same sort of sound that the guitar follows, nothing really to connect the themes presented in either songs or anything like that. but I would recommend listening to the sex & food album as UMO has a pretty cool sound he’s found.

2. Makkan - Fat Freddie's Drop  

I would personally say that this track (and album) was the biggest influence on my track as I used multiple elements that were really idolized and made apparent in this track. I think the biggest theme I took from it was the hard hitting bass line and how much of a real impact that had on me personally. also the drum line was semi inspired by this tribal sounding drum line which really inspired me to create a different sounding drum line than just a simple crash loop. I would most definitely recommend listing to this album as it is probably the greatest piece of art to ever come out of NZ in my opinion.

3. Garden Shed - Tyler, the Creator

again another track influenced by flower boy. this here is my favorite song of all time just because of how powerful every single one of the elements are in the song itself, but to me personally I think that the power of the bass really spoke wonders to me which means that with this paired with Makkan, I really thought that to make a track anywhere near personal I would have to try and integrate this type of sonic presence somehow.

4. TRACK UNO - KAYTRANDA

KAYTRANDA will be the greatest of our time for dance music production for me  personally and I think I really drew inspiration out of this track for the third part of the song. specifically i think that the drum line and the beat itself is matched quite closely with this song and the bass line I definitely drew a ton of inspiration from for the third part.

Conclusions about the track

all in all retrospectively, I feel like this track was one of the most personal tracks within the EP as it did require alot of deep thinking in order to try and conceptualize and properly bring my idea to life. as was brought to attention in the previous blog post though I feel like the conceptual feelings and ideas I have behind my tracks are solid and I have tried to display those themes as well as I could, but the main blocking force is my knowledge behind musical theory and learning my way around the DAW. with this song specifically I feel as if my musical theory knowledge has impacted the development of this track alot more than it has with the other ones, as if we are to compare it to some of the tracks it was inspired by such as garden shed, due to its more sophisticated musical structure and interesting sonic presence it is a much more thought provoking and impactful piece. that doesn’t mean to say that my conceptual feelings around the track are completely invalid however it just means that I have to focus on the deliberation and ways I get across those ideas in a more artistic, aesthetic and interesting way.

Future iterations & directions

this track manages to showcase its themes somewhat well and for that i feel like the only part in which i would specifically want to change and revisit is the aesthetics surrounding the track, essentially the way in which the track musically feels and is presented would need to be revisited and changed in order for the track to have its fully intended effect. specifically I feel as if there needs to be a little bit more variation in the beat in the first part, maybe some different chords to be played by the guitar so essentially much like gan in that I think I just have to be more creative and exploitative with the ways in which I use the instruments I have.

[crimsonguitar-blog]

Merry Pitchmas!!!

Merry Pitchmas @verzescal!!! This is your secret santa stepping into the sun. At first I was really planning on making a Bechloe shirt for you but figured this works virtually and led me to a realization that I should maybe try writing too so… This is my first Bechloe fic so please be gentle with me? :3 hope you like this one though. Enjoy!

“So, you really are doing this Beca.” “Yep, you’ll finally tell her.” “Finally our little big shot will get it!” “I’m very proud of you Becs. Finally you’re gonna man up after how many years? 3years?”

These were just the words running inside Beca’s head. Her bandmates. Her friends’ words pouring out of joy for finally she’ll do something. A big leap, a big change in her life.

It’s their senior year and days before their graduation day, their university throw them a farewell or like send-off party. Beca’s band is set to play a few songs as an opening act for the party. It’s just a few minutes before they go onstage, just enough time for Beca to make sure everything is okay, according to plan. Their songs, every microphones they’ll use, their instrument… also her heart.

“Yep. This is it.”

Stacie was goofing around with Jesse and Benji when she noticed Beca zoning out.

“Nervous?”, Stacie asked.

Beca rolls her eyes trying to avoid the question but delighted that Stacie managed to get her out of the trance she’s in. She doesn’t have the time to be thinking about other things though so she just shrugged.

“I know the feeling. Everything will be fine, Becs. We’re here.”, Stacie gave her a reassuring smile and lightly patted Beca’s back before she walked back to Jesse and Benji. Then she passed by CR, about to light her cigarette.

“Are they here already?”

“Yeah. Emily and Jessica’s there with blondie and lil’ big BM’s girl.”, CR answered.

“Good. We’ll be up onstage within 5mins.”

Five minutes was over but Beca’s stomach is still doing crazy tricks like hell. She never felt this nervous ever. She always enjoyed every performance they gave. Every little crazy mistakes and every success is worth it.

“You’re thinking too much, Beca.”, Jesse noticed.

But Beca didn’t hear him because of the loud and enthusiastic cheer from the crowd, and when their emcee intoduced them and called them onstage.

“Are you having a great night Barden? I can’t hear ya! Tonight we’ll party! Without further introductions, let’s get the Syntax Error band onstage! We got Benji Applebaum on drums, Jesse Swanson on bass, Stacie Conrad on keys, Cynthia-Rose Adams on rhythm guitar and vocals… and Beca Mitchell on lead guitar!”

Upon hearing Syntax Error and the introduction of each members, the crowd cheered louder. Except for an amazed ginger standing at the stage right stairs together with her roommates and friends, Jessica, Emily and Aubrey, eyes locked on a petite brunette onstage with her guitar.

“She’ll melt if you stare at her like that”, Jessica lightly bumped Chloe to catch her attention. Chloe then brushes it off when Aubrey tried to divert it to somewhere else.

“I mean, ice cream! Emily’s ice cream will melt if she don’t eat it at once!”

“Where’s Amy by the way?”, but before Aubrey can make up an answer as to where is Fat Amy, Syntax Error started to play.

Still onstage, playing their intro riff, Beca looked for Jessica in the crowd and saw her gesturing a sign that they can play their songs whenever they’re ready. After seeing Jessica’s signal, she shifted her look from Jessica to her bandmates now, sighed and mouthed a “this is it”.

Still playing their chord progressions from their intro, CR briefly set the mood and gave a little background about their first song.

“Our first song. This is what we call, well… ‘Anna’. Our little lead guitarist wrote this song, and the other one that we’ll be playing.”, Beca slightly bowed when CR pointed at her.

“Okay. Has anyone here ever fell in love? You’ve fallen so hard that you’ve been a wussy to just walk up to that someone and tell him or her what or how you feel. Now, this song will tell you how that feelings are for someone, all bottled up inside your hearts screaming. And how this song wants to tell someone, 'I love you’. Let’s go!”

“Who’s Anna?”, Chloe asks, looking confused.

The crowd just have gone wild and cheered 'I love yous’ everywhere. Even before modulating to the first chord of their song, CR goes back to the crowd adding, “Oh, our little big lead also wants to clear that 'Anna’, is not her someone or my someone, or Stacie’s, Jesse’s or Benji’s… just… a representation, of someone else.”

Upon striking the first chord, CR managed to give a thumbs up to Beca who is now trying to be relaxed than ever. With this, all of her bandmates gave her a faniliar smile. A smile that somehow made her feel alive again, and she finally gets into the music. Playing her little solos in the intro then nodding to CR for the first verse.

“I long to tell you How much I need you If I can find the words to say I never have to feel this way Not knowing just what to do when I’m with you.

My friends they tell me That I shouldn’t hurry Everything keeps goin’ strong 'Coz you keep it going on Though i have to say how much I love you…”

Even before the chorus part comes, Stacie nodded at Beca to look on the side of the stage where Chloe is standing. Beca managed to find Chloe in the crowd. There she is, red locks bouncing with her movements, eyes closed, a little lost in the music and bobbing her head a little to the song. This made Beca smile and looked back to Stacie and mouthed a “thanks”.

Meanwhile, Chloe seemed to be enjoying the music when Aubrey nudged her to listen to the next lines of the song.

“Oh my god. Chloe, listen.”

“What?”, Chloe asked but decided to organize herself to wake up from the trance she’s in.

“Oh Anna, can’t you tell and see? What you’re doing to me Oh Anna, this feeling I just can’t hide Keeps driving me wild Oh Anna I need you here with me I wish you could be Oh Anna, won’t you stay with me?”

The song still goes on with CR singing every line and Chloe still confused as to why Aubrey caught her attention. But Emily and Jessica, the two accomplices are shocked to see Stacie and Beca talking with Beca shaking her head like she’s disagreeing over something.

“Oooooh. Looks like they’re arguing.”, Jessica says to Emily.

“C'mon Becs! Sing the last verse and chorus!”, yells Stacie trying to convince Beca to sing.

Jesse then stepped a little closer to Beca and kinda whispered, “She’ll never know that she’s the 'Anna’ in your song.”

Beca just gave her the signature eye roll to Jesse and continued to just play. CR seemed to notice the commotion behind her caused by her bandmates. So while the interlude of the song comes, she roam around the stage when she spotted Beca still focused on her guitar solo then she turned to Stacie and gave her this questioning look.

“Our little grumpy cat here doesn’t wanna sing.”

With this, CR stepped forward again to the crowd and ask them to sing with them when the chorus part comes. Beca haven’t noticed when CR leaned to her and put the mic on her to sing the last parts. Beca protested but CR is persistent, and her bandmates are too. Heart beating fast, her insides churning, Beca shook her head and started to sing:

“Your eyes, they look through me Your smile, it fools me I never thought I’d love again But this time I hope it never ends I have to let you know how much…”

She continued to play as is. She looked around the her bandmates, then to the crowd and then to the group of girls standing at the right side of the stage making sure the redhead is looking at her too. Their eyes met and she just can’t take hers from that blue eyes and she smirked..

“I love you!”

Beca then turned to the crowd now smiling, and sang the last chorus of the song leaving Chloe shocked and confused at the same time. Behind Chloe are Aubrey, Jessica and Emily cheering and eventually singing along with Beca.

“What’s that all about? Is she looking at me?”, Chloe asks her friends who seem to don’t notice because they are already enjoying Syntax Error’s set. When Jessica scooted closer to her, “Maybe.”

“Or maybe not.”, Aubrey added.

“Or…”, Emily tries to get closer to them and the trio just says in unison:

“Maybe just listen to their set.”

“With your heart.”, Emily spills and Aubrey just gives her a look.

Before Emily starts to spill the whole plan to Chloe, Beca steps forward to the mic for their next song, giving CR the lead. This time, Beca on vocals. This time, more confident and comfortable.

“Alright Barden! Can I hear the seniors there?”

With much enthusiasm, the seniors and the whole quad starts to cheer the loudest. Beca, satisfied and energized hearing her colleagues continues, “We are all aware that this is our last year here in Barden. And in a few days, we’re gonna march out of this campus proud.”

You can hear the “Awwww’s” everywhere, but Syntax Error continues to play and Beca still going with her spiels.

“Some of you may think that this is the end, but tonight I wanna share with you that this is just the start of something new. Not just for me, or for my band, but also for all of you!”

The crowd suddenly comes back to life again. This is the cue for their next song. Syntax Error plays an intro to the song so that Beca can start her confession. CR and Stacie harmonizing their instruments with the chill vibe. Jesse gives her a thumbs up and Benji is grinning like a little child at the back. Beca breathes deep and starts, “Before we play our last song, I have a confession to make. The song we’ve played earlier and this song that we’re gonna play is… I’ve written solely for someone that is very dear to me.”

Beca tries to look in Chloe’s direction before singing the first lines when Aubrey catches her eyes. Beca smirks at the older girl when she sees that she gestures an 'a-ok’ sign to her before nudging Chloe closer to the stage.

“And in fact, that someone is standing right there with you guys.”, Beca added.

“This is the part where you should really listen, Chlo.”, Aubrey kept reminding Chloe like there’s something that’s gonna happen.

The crowd then suddenly got wild and cheered for Beca. Some of them, trying to look around and guess who is that 'someone’ Beca is talking about. Chloe then got the hint and decided to focus her attention to the brunette singing onstage. Beca already felt Chloe’s gaze so she locked her eyes on Chloe for the whole first part of the song and sang with all of her heart…

“There I was, an empty piece of a shell, Just minding my own world; Without even knowin’ what love and life were all about Then you came, You brought me out of the shell; You gave the world to me And before I knew, there I was so in love with you.”

Beca gets the mic and walks down the stage still singing, headed down to Chloe’s direction still frozen because of the sudden change of her friend. Before Beca can go down a step, Jesse lightly taps her shoulder and said, “Go, get her kid!”

With this, Beca continued singing. With heart beating fast, she continued to walk towards this redhead standing there. The only star that shines the brightest to her eyes. The only person who lights up her world. The person who taught her how to love again.

“You gave me a reason for my being And I love what I’m feelin’ You gave me a meaning to my life Yes, we’ve gone beyond existing And it all began when I met you.”

Beca gets closer, walking past every person in front of the redhead. Heart still beating fast but this time she’s sure of what she’s doing. Inches away from Chloe, she stops and smiles. “Hey.”

Syntax Error continues to play with Beca’s bandmates, smiling at their friends like there’s no tomorrow. Beca puts her mic in her pocket, looks at the trio who helped her and gives them a thumbs up and a 'thank you’. Before Beca can get Chloe’s hand though, Aubrey shots her a look and says, “You’ll know what will happen if you ever hurt her, midget… Beca.”

“Aca-nazi… Aubrey.”, Beca answers with a smirk.

Chloe, still confused more than she is earlier turns to them. But before she can even open her mouth, Beca gets her hand and leans closer to her ear, “Chlo, please before you can say anything, I want you to come with me. Let me do this right this time.”

Chloe looks at Beca then to her friends who seemed happy for what’s happening. Feet still stuck on the floor. She can’t explain the feeling that she’s feeling right now. She wants answers. She’s worried on what will happen. But then, there are her friends nudging her to come with Beca. It’s not that she doesn’t want to come with Beca, but she’s afraid. She’s scared to find out what lies ahead. Beca noticed this and she gently squeezed Chloe’s hand, and led her back to the stage.

When they both got onstage, Syntax Error started to play the song’s interlude to let Beca confess… er…. and explain things to Chloe. All four, Stacie, CR, Jesse and Benji are smiling widely at Beca and Chloe. Stacie even bumped Beca to welcome them back. Jesse gave them a thumbs up. Beca nodded at CR to let them know that this will kinda take time. With all things set, Beca gets the mic with her left hand and with her right hand holding Chloe’s hand.

“So uhm, guys I just want to take a moment. I just wanna take this chance. Never run away again and tell everybody that this girl here is very special to me. ”

'Whew boy’ and 'awww’ are heard, some of the crowd felt silent listening to what Beca says. And some takes their phone out to record this moment. Beca then turns to face Chloe and continues, “All these years, we’ve been together through thick and thin. You stood up for me. You believed in me when I thought I’m just losing myself again. You always bring out the best in me, Chlo. And I wanted to say I’m sorry, Chlo. It took me some time to finally say it… that I’ve been in love with you. I’m loving you. Chlo, I… that I love you.”

Chloe falls silent, looking down at her hand entwined with Beca’s. She can’t find the words to say. Tears begin to roll down from her eyes. She’s trying to wake herself up, thinking that this is only a dream. But Beca cups her cheeks and looks in her blue eyes.

“Hey. Look, Chlo. I’m not asking you to answer back now. I’m not asking you to love me if you don’t love me too…”, with this Beca gets teary-eyed and it forces a voice to come out from Chloe.

“No, Beca. That’s-”

“Ssh. It’s okay, Chlo. I just wanted to let you know how I feel. I just wanna let you know that I’m here. That I love you no matter what. I’ve seen you get hurt, I’ve seen you smile and laugh. And-”

“I love you too, Becs.”, Chloe interrupts and pecks Beca’s lips.

“I didn’t know that you could be this mushy.”

“I, uh-”, Beca tries to talk but now she’s the one left tongue-tied.

“I love you too, Beca Mitchell.”

Then the crowd cheers the loudest this time. Some are shouting “More!!!” as if asking the two to make out onstage with that huge crowd, but then Stacie steps in to the two and asks, “So, you two, you’re a thing now?”

Beca just smirks and holds Chloe’s hand. Without a word, Stacie gets it and finally announces it to the crowd.

“Alright Barden, there we go! Beca Mitchell and Chloe Beale!”

With this, the crowd continues to roar louder and Syntax Error prepares to continue their set. Beca leans closer to Chloe and whispers, “Stay with me here. We still have to finish our set, unless… you want the crowd to see us making out. I f*cking wanna continue where we left earlier though.”

Chloe blushes and the smile on her face can’t be erased while she’s there onstage with Beca, savouring the moment. Chloe looks back on her friends who are already cheering for them. Emily and Jessica are seen cheering wildly. And there’s Aubrey, overwhelmed and trying not to get emotional and contain her happiness for her best friend. She also sees Fat Amy who seems to be in a fix, rushing towards them.

“Operation Bhloe. Special. In five seconds.”

Aubrey, Jessica and Emily knew what that meant. Without wasting time, they all get their phones out again to capture this very special moment for their friends.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1!”

Syntax Error is on the last few sections of their song and during Stacie’s sick keyboard solos, the sky above them was lit up with fireworks. Beca who’s there standing with Chloe leaned closer to her and squeezed Chloe’s hands. “Look up.”

Chloe looked up and gasped when she saw the marvel of the fireworks display and this moment with Beca. But what left her more amazed and speechless again was when she saw the lights make letters and eventually complete a sentence up there.

“Chloe Beale. Will you please be my girlfriend?”

“Great timing Amy.”, Beca mutters.

“Yes!”, Chloe shouts and Beca suddenly looks at her.

“I’m sorry, what?”

Chloe then leans closer to Beca and whispers to her ear, “I said I want to be your girlfriend, Beca Mitchell.”

Beca shivers when she feels Chloe’s breath and with the answer that she got. Like a reflex, she then hugs Chloe tightly. She looks back to her friends and bandmates, and all are grinning like a buffoon at them. She also shots a look at Fat Amy who sees her and shrugs, whispering “Sorry”. Aubrey, who’s trying to contain her happiness for her friends is now crying with Jessica comforting her and Emily recording this precious moment.

“I feel like I’m the fucking luckiest person in the world now, Chlo. I love you. Always.”. Beca leans closer to Chloe and plants a gentle kiss on her lips. When their lips part, Beca smiles and whispers, “This is just the start of our new journey. To infinity and beyond!”

“Aww. And I thought you hated movies.”, Chloe teases Beca but she just shrugs and smiles widely again.

“I love you too, Beca.” ________________________ PS. I DO NOT OWN PITCH PERFECT NOR THE CHARACTERS AND SONGS I USED. PPS. Songs I used are Top Suzara’s version of Anna and Out of Luck’s version of When I Met You.

[thebandcampdiaries]

J. Marc Bailey is back with a brand new single: Once A Cowboy

January 2021 - J. Marc Bailey is a talented new artist with a focus on creating groundbreaking music that blurs the lines between a wide range of genre definitions and creative influences. Somewhere between the appealing edge of country music and the hard-hitting twist of rock, this artist managed to locate a musical goldmine of great melodies and charismatic hooks. J. Marc’s most recent studio release, Once A Cowboy, stands out as a perfect representation of how the artist can seamlessly blur the lines between these different ideas in such a way that they coexist harmonically and in synergy with one another, while still retaining an incredibly timeless and classic approach. This single actually is part of a string of well-received 2020 releases from the artist, who dropped a handful of singles over the past few years, as well as a full-length studio album in 2005. “Once a Cowboy” is actually a pretty special song, because it could actually be seen as a tribute to the artist’s passion for country music. The song is a heartfelt tribute to the Cowboy mythology, and it is a testament to J. Marcs’ honest attitude. The song immediately begins with an energetic drum fill, and it goes on with a massive wall of sound, which combines big acoustic guitars with even bigger electrics, doing some beautiful countermelodies and filling in the chords with some warm overdriven tones. The drums actually play it on the softer side during the verses, but the beat reaches its climax in the choruses, where the hi-hats are heavier and the snare and kick are extremely fat, matching the focus and butter punch of the guitars. The bass holds everything together perfectly, forming the backbone of the rhythm section, but also adding some additional melody and shaping the movement in the guitar parts. In addition to that, the vocals are the most distinctive element of this song. J. Marc sings with passion, and he has a classic “twang” in his voice, while still retaining a modern sense of melody. His vocal style actually makes me think of country music heavy hitters, including Slaid Cleaves, as well as Brad Paisley, and even Keith Urban, only to mention a few. One of the highlights of the song is the bridge, which features a spectacular guitar solo, and a mesmerizing lap steel lead. The lap steel guitar also becomes more prominent in the last chorus, adding more variety and edge to the ending parts of this release. If I had to use a single word to describe this track, I’d call it “quintessential.” This song is true, honest, and catchy, and it is easy to connect with it from the moment you hit the play button. From songwriting to execution and production everything on this release is absolutely spot-on, leading to a rewarding listening experience.

Ultimately, it is quite easy to see (or actually, hear) that this release is a perfect example of the artist’s attitude and charismatic approach to songwriting and performance. J. Marc goes for an immediate and earthy sound that favors the human connection between the musicians, rather than hiding their work under an excessive layer of studio trickery. Rock music and country / folk have one thing in mind. Both styles are very immediate and visceral, speaking to the audience with earnest storytelling and with upfront arrangements that don’t need to hide behind tricks, but just let the great music tell the story.

This excellent production comes highly recommended to any fan of songwriters such as Tom Petty, AC/DC, and The Eagles, only to mention a few. Despite an affinity with the aforementioned artists, J. Marc definitely stands out with a sound that feels unique and forward-thinking. The wide range of sounds and ideas portrayed on this record are truly remarkable, and it’s amazing to hear how much focus and care went into the making of this fascinating studio release.

Find out more about J. Marc Bailey, and do not miss out on Once A Cowboy, which is currently available on the web.

https://open.spotify.com/album/1Kf1SJh9uo0rQ4hZ0wANOf?si=UbRpthh1RqugxyjF7WgteQ

https://youtu.be/-WfHKnmUEAg Twitter: @jmarcbailey Instagram: @jmarcbailey Facebook: www.facebook.com/jmarcbailey

[harocat]

I feel you about the chubby thing. It always makes me uncomfortable when people draw characters that are in shape or just not the standard thin as super big. That isn't real representation, it's just wishful thinking. And lots of times it makes me feel bad about myself too, because if they think small characters like yuri or nozomi from love live, to give another example, look big, what do they think about people who actually struggle with over weight?

Lol I can’t actually agree with this entirely because I LOVE when people draw Nozomi as chubby.

But the difference is that Nozomi doesn’t literally have... a section of her character arc where she gains weight due to her mental illness and so that weight gain is indicative of that. 

With Nozomi it’s just ‘this is a cool female character, and I think she could be chubby’. With Yuuri it’s... very different.

Also, surprisingly enough, I don’t see the fetishization of Nozomi being chubby in LL fandom (outside the blatant fat fetish artists that just do that with EVERY character they draw), nor do I see a bunch of fics that read like Meghan Trainor’s ‘All About that Bass’ but in prose form. 

I don’t mind when people draw thin characters as chubby most of the time. Yes, it’s not real representation, and yes it’s wishful thinking, but well... isn’t much of fandom wishful thinking anyway? Yuuri, due to his character, is just a big exception for me. 

If people actually think Nozomi looks fat in canon though, well yeah they’re smoking weed. Big boobs \=\ fat.