#fanny pack with things written on it in red sharpie? check

[smile-files]

au of life where i get to see shai again :((

admire his poofy hair. admire it.

[no-she-wasnt-reddie]

While We Were Sleeping

I wrote this fic based on this post here from @cosersllub, who graciously let me use their post to inspire this fic.

Pairing: Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak

Word count: 4327

There is a lot of internal dialog in this fic, so in order to keep track of whose thoughts are whose, I’ve put Eddie’s thoughts in blue and Richie’s thought in red. 

This is the first fic I’ve written in a very long time, and it’s my first Reddie fic ever. So please leave any constructive criticism you might have for me and if you want more writing, send me some requests! Thanks! xx

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Instead of going out with his friends at the carnival, Richie is holed up in his room on a Friday night, sitting at his desk listening to records and painting his nails black. Well, painting might be a bit of a stretch. He is coloring in the nails on his left hand with a black Sharpie marker because Beverly isn’t here to use real nail polish. He hates being alone, but he also did not want to be with his friends tonight, especially with him. Richie turns up the volume on his record player in an attempt to drown out the sound of his own thoughts. Stop thinking about him like that, Rich. He is your best friend, nothing more. He is only your best friend. He has been repeating the same words in head over and over all night, but it is not stopping thoughts of Eddie laughing at one of his stupid jokes, with his eyes shining and his nose scrunched and his mouth upturned in the cutest smile. Stop it, Richie. He is only your friend. Eddie is your friend. He shakes his head, as if he is trying to literally shake the thought from his mind. He focuses back on his nails, trying desperately not to let his ADHD-riddled mind take him back to places where it shouldn’t go.

Eddie hates his mother. After going the carnival with his friends and being bummed that Richie wasn’t there, he biked home as quickly as possible. He had hung around for a little longer than he had been planning to, just to see if he might show up eventually. He asked everyone if Richie had mentioned that he wouldn’t be coming, but they all shook their heads. Something must be up. Richie always lets us know if he isn’t going to make it to hang out. He had planned on stopping by Richie’s on his way home, but he didn’t realize what time it was. Ugh, Mommy is gonna kill me. Eddie got home a little after nine, which is when he said he would actually be home. He tried to be as quiet as possible when he came in the front door, but his mother was standing right in the entry way, ready to give him more than a stern talking-to. While Sonia never physically hit Eddie, her words sure packed a punch—of guilt. She went on and on about how he could have been dead in a ditch for all she knew, and he was lucky she didn’t get the police involved, and blah, blah, blah. Over the years, Eddie had learned how to tune his mother out for the most part. After finding out that his medications were placebos and his mother had been faking his illnesses, she lost a bit of her hold on Eddie; he wouldn’t be so easily controlled. Even after all of that, however, there was still a part of Eddie that wanted to make his mother happy, wanted to ease her worries. So he continued to take the medications, on the condition that she let him hang out with his friends and never say another bad thing about them. This was proving to be difficult as she brought up Richie in her rant, which effectively snapped Eddie out of his thoughts. “…And that Tozier boy is trouble; he is probably the reason you are out past your curfew.” A rush of anger flared up in Eddie. “He wasn’t even out with us tonight! You can’t blame Richie for everything!” At this, Eddie turned and stomped up the stairs, making a show of things by slamming his door shut. His mother called up after him, but Eddie ignored her. I need to get out of here.

Richie is just finishing the nails on his left hand when he hears a small tapping sound. He looks around the room and doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary, so he returns his focus to his nails. Then, he hears a louder knocking, right on his first-story window. He turns down his music and looks over to see the one person he is trying not to think about. Eddie is standing outside his window with a backpack slung over his shoulder, and he waves and gestures for Richie to let him in. Richie’s heart starts beating faster in his chest. He is your best friend, Richie. Eddie is just your best friend. Your very cute best friend. Ugh Richie, you are hopeless. Richie walks over to the window and slides it open. Eddie smiles up at him, “Hey Rich, where were you tonight? I missed you!” I really did miss you, Rich. Like a lot. Richie’s heart jumps into this throat. Stop it. Richie clears his throat before saying, “Yeah I just wasn’t feeling up to going to the carnival tonight.” He tries to keep his eyes on Eddie, but they keep averting to the floor. Eddie looks up at Richie with confusion, trying to decipher the look on his face. Something is definitely going on with Richie. He hasn’t been this quiet since… well I don’t think he’s ever been this quiet. Maybe something happened? Why does he have to be here, looking all cute and saying he missed me? Why is this feeling physically hurting me?

“Umm, Rich, can you help me up?” Richie snaps out of his thoughts and scrambles to pull Eddie in. “Yeah, sorry Eds.” Richie sticks out his hand, “Here, I’ll pull you in.” Eddie reaches to grab Richie’s hand, which causes a jolt to shoot up Richie’s arm. I wish I could hold his hand for real. Great, I can’t even touch him without these stupid thoughts invading my mind. Eddie plants his foot wrong on the window frame, slipping and falling into the room. Richie tries to catch him, but he ends up losing his own balance, so they fall to the floor together. Eddie lands on Richie with an oof, their limbs a tangled mess. Oops my bad. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Eddie starts laughing and scrambles up from the ground, reaching a hand out to help Richie up. Richie turns a light shade of pink as he takes his hand, standing up and laughing awkwardly, reaching a hand up to rub the back of his neck.

Eddie brushes his clothes off and straightens out his fanny pack as his eyes sweep Richie’s room. It still the organized mess it always is, with records in large stacks next to his desk, which is covered in papers, and comics strewn across the floor. This feels familiar to him, even though the look Richie is giving him is something entirely new. Eddie looks back to meet Richie’s eyes, but he quickly looks away. Shit, way to be obvious, dumbass. Eddie clears his throat as he walks over to Richie’s desk. “So what have you been up to tonight, man? You ditched us to hang out with your rock albums?” Maybe if I can get under his skin he will stop acting so weird. Richie laughs a laugh that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “Yeah, better than seeing your ugly mug,” Richie says with a smirk. There, maybe if I call him ugly, he won’t figure out how cute I think he is. Some unknown tension lessens as Eddie laughs back. Okay, this is my Richie.

“So really, what have you been doing all night?” Richie shrugs and lifts up his left hand to show off his black Sharpie nails. “I’ve only done one hand because I can’t really do the other with my left hand.” Richie sits back down at his desk and picks up the Sharpie with his left hand. “See? I can’t even hold it right.” Eddie giggles and grabs an empty milk crate meant to hold records. Ugh really? A giggle? Like that isn’t the most adorable thing I’ve ever heard. He flips it to create a makeshift seat next to Richie. “May I?” Eddie holds out his hand, asking for the Sharpie. Richie hands it over to Eddie who uncaps it. He leans over Richie’s hand, some strands of hair falling into his face. Cute, cute, cute. Eddie starts coloring in the nails on Richie’s right hand, completely immersed in the task.

Richie can’t help but stare at Eddie’s face while he works. He is making his concentration face, the one where his brows furrow together and his tongue sticks out of the corner of his mouth. Oh my god, his mouth. I want to kiss that mouth. Woah, dude, chill the fuck out. Richie hones in on every freckle dusted across Eddie’s cheeks, that little scar above his left eyebrow that he got during the rock war when they were kids, the way his long eyelashes curl upward. Wow, I’m really fucking screwed. Richie is so focused on Eddie’s face that he doesn’t even notice that Eddie is done.

Wow I don’t think Richie has ever stayed this still for this long. Eddie looks up at Richie through his eyelashes, curious as to why he is so quiet and still. Eddie sees Richie staring at him. His heart jumps a little in his chest when he sees the look on Richie’s face. His face is so serene, almost peaceful, like he could sit here and stare all day. Is he actually looking at me like that, or is he just zoned out? “Earth to Richie? Where’d you go?” Eddie asks with a small smile on his face, while waving a hand in front of Richie. He breaks out of his trance, and his face flushes profusely. Oh fuck me, I’m caught. “Hah, sorry Eds, I was just thinking about that time I fucked your mom.” “Oh gross, you dickwad!” Eddie shoves Richie out of his desk chair and laughs when Richie flops to the floor. From his spot on the floor, Richie turns to face Eddie. “So, whatcha wanna do? I know you didn’t come all the way over here just to color in my nails for me.” No, I actually wanted to check on you and make sure everything is okay. I was bummed you didn’t come out tonight. “I don’t know, thought maybe we could just hang out for a little bit? I had to get out of the house, away from my mom.”

So hang out is just what they do. They listen to Richie’s records, mostly rock, but he put on a pop album just for Eddie every so often. They play cards; well, Richie tries to teach Eddie how to play cards, using M&Ms to bet instead of money. Richie ends up winning the majority of the chocolate, but he still shares it with Eddie while they lay around on their backs, reading Richie’s comic books. I’m glad it’s just the two of us hanging out tonight. I don’t want to go back home.

“Hey Eds, don’t you have to be getting home soon? It’s getting pretty late; your mom is gonna go ballistic.” Richie turns his head to look at Eddie with a sad smile on his face. Ugh I don’t want you to leave, but I don’t want to get you in trouble, Eds. Eddie turns onto his stomach, running a hand over Richie’s beige carpet, watching the color change as he drags his hand back and forth. “Rich, I really don’t want to go back home tonight. I can hardly stand being home with my mom anymore.” Please let me stay. Richie shrugs his shoulders and looks around, avoiding Eddie’s eyes. “Umm okay Eds, you can just stay here tonight then. I mean, it’s the weekend, so it’s not like we have to get up early tomorrow or anything.” Fuck, what am I doing? He can’t stay here. I am already at my breaking point. There’s no way we can sleep in the same bed or I might die.

Eddie smiles so big that Richie can feel literally feel his heart cracking. God, why does he have to be so damn cute?! Thank god, I feel more at home here than my own house. Eddie gets up and throws himself onto the bed, climbing toward the right side of the bed since he knows that Richie favors the left. Eddie pats the bed beside him, gesturing for Richie to hop on in. Richie brings a hand to the back of his neck and looks down at the ground. Damn it, you better come up with an excuse quick, Trashmouth. “It’s okay, Eds. I’ll take the floor. We are probably getting too old to share the bed now anyway, right? The two of us will barely fit.” Eddie looks up at Richie incredulously, his face falling. What the fuck? We always share the bed, even when everyone else is over, too. “Rich, what are you talking about? There’s plenty of room.” Eddie reaches over and grabs Richie’s wrist, yanking him onto the bed with him. Richie lands on the bed with a thud, practically on top of Eddie. Holy shit, this cannot be happening. I can’t stop shaking. He is gonna notice that I’m shaking. Eddie’s heart rate starts beating double time. Why am I feeling anxious all of a sudden? This is nothing different than normal. Why does it feel different?

Richie slowly settles into the space on the left side of the bed, trying to angle his body away from Eddie without being too obvious. Just close your eyes and stay calm, Rich. Just close your eyes and don’t think about how Eddie is literally inches from you, in bed. He takes off his glasses and lays flat on his back with his hands behind his head, closing his eyes, while Eddie turns to lay on his side, facing Richie. Eddie just looks at Richie, taking him in, looking at how much older he looks. How much hotter he looks. Eddie is grateful that Richie’s eyes are closed so he can’t see how red Eddie’s face gets at his own thought. Eddie can feel himself starting to get anxious, or maybe even nervous. Even with that totally random—I’ve never once thought about how hot Richie is, nope not once—thought, why should I be nervous? It’s Richie, my best friend… This is just Richie, Eds. Eddie can’t help but realize that even in his own thoughts, he calls himself Eds now; he is so used to Richie calling him that that it feels more like him than his own name does. Finally, after more internal panic from both parties, they slowly drift off to sleep, Eddie’s body just inches away from Richie’s.

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​Richie wakes up to the sound of soft breathing, birds chirping, and sun shining in the window. It’s a beautiful morning, and Richie is feeling warm and cozy in his bed. Mmm, this is nice. Warm and cozy. Suddenly, Richie remembers that there is another human in his bed, not just any human. His eyes shoot open, and while he can’t make out much through the blur of glasslessness, he doesn’t move. Richie is still on his back and very aware that he is holding something and that something is holding him back. So he, very carefully, reaches to the nightstand to put his glasses on. When the room comes into focus, he looks down to see an arm draped over his waist, an arm belonging to a Mr. Eddie Kaspbrak. Richie stops breathing. Holy fuck, oh my god. I must still be dreaming. Eddie’s head is snuggled into Richie’s chest, and he has the softest smile on his face, even in his sleep. I am literally about to snap. HOLY. FUCK. Richie’s arm is wrapped around Eddie’s back, holding him against his body, and their legs are all tangled together. OH MY GOD WHAT DO I DO? I am just going to have to stay like this. Yeah, I will pretend to be asleep until Eddie wakes up and I’ll pretend to wake up then, too. Okay, okay. Richie tries to calm his heart rate and his breathing and his thoughts and his body, which is trying to tense up under Eddie’s. If you tense up, he will know you are awake, Rich. Come on, dude. Nice deep, even breathing. Richie closes his eyes, the scene of Eddie cuddling into him forever burned on the back of his eyelids.

​The first thing Eddie notices is the warm sunlight spilling into the room, bright enough through Eddie’s eyelids to wake him up. The second thing he notices is that he has slept through the night without a nightmare for the first time in a really long time. Somehow lastly, he notices is himself thrown all over Richie. Like, literally all over. What the fuck?! How did this happen?! Oh my god, how did we manage to get this tangled?! He can hear Richie’s even breaths under him and thinks this to mean that Richie is still asleep. Nice even breaths, Rich. Eddie can’t move; extracting himself is not an option. They are so intertwined that if Eddie moves, Richie will definitely wake up. Holy shit, what am I gonna do? I guess I’m gonna have to wait it out. Richie will probably wake up soon, so I will just lay here and pretend to wake up when he wakes up. He will probably push me off of him and call me a dumbass or something. He will probably just think I tried to sprawl out on the bed even when there isn’t enough room. Eddie’s anxiety is rolling off of him in waves, but he knows he is going to have to pull it together if he doesn’t want to wake Richie. He squeezes his eyes shut again and breathes deeply. It’s fine. Everything is fine. Richie will wake up soon.

​Holy shit, how is he still sleeping? How long has it been now, like 30 minutes, an hour? I don’t know how Richie is still sleeping while I’m on top of him like this… How did our legs get twisted around each other’s like that? Our limbs are so freaking tangled it’s like we tried to merge our bodies into one last night. Oh my god, what if he can hear how fast my heart is racing? His head is literally on my chest. At least Richie can barely see my face from that angle. I probably look like a mess. I’m glad Eds’ face is turned away from mine; my morning breath probably reeks. I’m glad my face is turned away from Richie’s; his morning breath probably reeks.

​Both boys remain still, continuing to wait out the other in this sleep war, neither aware that the other is, in fact, awake. The minutes slip by, and confusion and panic turn into something calmer, sweeter.

​It is almost like Eddie’s body fits perfectly into mine. I feel like I’m in a dream. Wow, I am really liking the way Richie is holding me; I feel so safe here. I kinda hope he doesn’t wake up any time soon. He looks so peaceful in his sleep. I could honestly lay here all day, but Richie will probably wake up. I hope he doesn’t freak out.

​Minutes drift to hours, hours drift to an eternity, and soon Richie doesn’t think he can stay like this much longer. Oh my god, as much as I don’t want to move and wake Eddie up, I really can’t lay here anymore. I gotta get up.

​Psst. “Hey Eds, umm are you awake?” Richie’s voice is barely loud enough to hear, which is a surprise to Eddie. He has never heard Richie’s voice sound so… delicate. Eddie quietly clears his throat and whispers back, “Yeah Rich, I’m awake.” He’s awake and he didn’t throw me off of him. “Oh thank god, I’ve gotta piss so bad.” Richie quickly untangles himself from Eddie, who is watching Richie scramble to the bathroom. Eddie can’t help but laugh at Richie’s frazzled manor.

​While Richie is in the bathroom—hopefully brushing his teeth too—Eddie lays back onto the bed, suddenly feeling colder in the space where Richie’s body was pressed against his own. I didn’t realize how much I wanted to be that close to Richie until now. I want to be that close to him; I need to be that close to him again.

​Richie comes back from the bathroom, face tinged pink, and looks at Eddie shyly. Eddie was laughing. Is it too much to hope that he liked being tangled up with me? I really like being tangled up with him. I wonder what he is thinking… did he like being that close or was it super weird for him? Oh god, it was probably weird.

​Richie tries to act casual and moves back over to the bed. Eddie automatically moves over to make room for him, as Richie lays back down on his side of the bed. He lays down on his back, lifting his arms to put his hands behind his head, just as he did last night. He looks up at the ceiling for a long time before turning his head to look at Eddie. The expression on Eddie’s face is unreadable. Oh god, I wonder what he’s thinking. Come on, Eds, just do it. You were just doing it. It will be fine.

​Eddie makes the decision to throw all caution to the wind. Eddie scoots in, deliberately not making eye contact with Richie, and slips into his previous cuddling position, one arm draped over Richie’s middle, head on his chest, and legs tangling back up with Richie’s. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Oh my god. Fuck Eds what are you doing to me?!

​Eddie can feel Richie tense up under him. Oh god, maybe he doesn’t want me touching him anymore. Maybe I fucked up. Then he feels Richie’s whole body relax and move into him. Or not. Eddie feels heat creep up the back of his neck and into his cheeks, maybe a little embarrassed. Whatever, this feels so… right. Richie’s face flushes as his thoughts start to wander. Wow. It was different cuddling in our sleep because it was accidental, but this… this is deliberate. This is on purpose, and it feels so good to be this close to my Eds.

​Richie unclasps his hands from behind his head and brings one arm around Eddie’s back, where he starts lazily drawing circles with his fingertips. This is bliss. Pure bliss. Richie can feel Eddie shiver from the contact. Oh my god, that feels so good, Rich. Please keep doing that. Eddie squeezes Richie, pulling him closer. Richie smirks, as if he know what this is doing to Eddie, and continues to swirl patterns up and down his back.

​Eddie feels content for the first time in a quite a while. With his home life being shit and those stupid nightmares of that fucking clown, he finally feels at peace, here in this bed with Richie. God, Richie has always been my saving grace, hasn’t he? I know I love him, but I think I might like him, too. Damn, there is definitely no use trying to convince myself that I don’t like Eddie. I like him, like so much. I am definitely in like with him. Richie decides then and there that he is going to have to tell Eddie—and his friends—soon, especially since he will be wanting to do this a lot more. It’s going to be damn near impossible to Richie to keep his hands away from Eddie now.

​Too soon, Eddie starts to pull away from Richie, finally making eye contact with him. He has a sweet smile on his face, the pink glow of his cheeks bringing out his adorable freckles. “Hey Rich, I should probably get going. It’s the weekend so I hope my mom slept in. I gotta get home before she notices that I snuck out.” Richie bolts up and looks at Eddie with a look of udder shock. “What?! You snuck out? Oh god, if Sonia finds out she will never sleep with me again!” Eddie smacks Richie’s arm, but his mouth twists into a laugh. “Eww, shut up, you dick!” God I love his laugh. “No, but seriously Eds, you gotta get out of here before you end up on house arrest and I never get to see you again.”

​Eddie turns to look into Richie’s eyes one last time. I can’t wait until the next time I get to see you, Rich. I wish I could kiss him, but I don’t want to scare him off.

​Eddie breaks the eye contact first, heading toward the window. He pushes it open, about to lift his foot over the frame. He pauses, a single thought eating at him. Kiss him. Do it before you leave. Kiss him. I think he might want to kiss you, too. Eddie quickly turns back around and rushes over to Richie. A look of confusion sweeps over Richie’s features, and then Eddie is softly pressing his lips to his. Richie’s eyes are still open with shock before Richie can get a hold of himself and his lids flutter shut. Oh my god, he did it first. Oh my god, Eddie Fucking Kaspbrak is kissing me and I am seeing stars. This kiss is over way too soon for Richie’s liking, and he barely hears Eddie over his pounding heart, “I’ve kinda just been wanting to do that.” Maybe for only like the past hour, but I already want to do that again.

Before Richie can even register what Eddie has said or even open his eyes, Eddie clambers out the window, leaving Richie stunned and elated, floating on fucking Cloud Nine.

​Richie stares at his open window, where hopefully Eddie will be climbing in every night. “Yeah, me too,” he whispers to his empty room.