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wardenparker · 2 years ago

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I posted 2,819 times in 2022

499 posts created (18%)

2,320 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@roughentumble

@lyriumrain

@kafkasdiariies

@subtextsays

@artsymaddie

I tagged 850 of my posts in 2022

#pedro pascal - 146 posts

#pedro pascal fanfic - 97 posts

#pedro pascal character fanfiction - 94 posts

#soulmate au - 62 posts

#wip game - 49 posts

#lovely people being lovely - 46 posts

#inbox games - 43 posts

#soulmate sunday - 40 posts

#inbox - 38 posts

#dieter bravo - 37 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#world’s most amazing pizza my my horrible now estranged in laws wrote a bad check to so i can’t reasonably show my face there ever again

Putting my top posts under the cut because it's all story chapters and some of it's spicy!

My Top Posts in 2022:

Sassenach and the Spaniard - ch 1

Pero Tovar x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Delirious with sickness and near to death, Pero Tovar finds himself on the doorstep of a village outsider who nurses him back to health just before the winter snows descend. With a black cat for company, a mask on her face, and a biting wit that intrigues him, Pero comes to find out that his new companion is more than what she seems. ✨ Inspired and influenced by Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series. ✨ Reader is described as disabled and having hair long enough to cover part of her face.

Rating: Mature Word Count: 9.2k Warnings: Graphic depictions of illness. Summary: Near death, Pero ends up in the care of a strange woman who insists on wearing a mask over her face. Notes: This fic deals with comparisons between modern medicine and folk healing methods. References to vaccinations and modern medical procedures will be littered throughout the text as well as some herbal/folk remedies when appropriate. There will be criticism of medieval medical procedures (leeches, bloodletting, humours, etc), but *not* of cultural or spiritual belief. We came here to have fun and be respectful, and that’s what we’re gonna do. Great Big Beautiful Shout Out to @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa and her Outlander-inspired series The Sunshine Undertow. It is brilliant reading and a compelling characterization of Oberyn 💖

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239 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

You’re So Vain - Chapter 1

Dieter Bravo x female Reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Oscar winning star Dieter Bravo’s reputation is suffering after the debacle of “Cliff Beasts 6″ and “Beasts of the Bubble”, so his management team has signed him on to a publicity stunt to find his soulmate and show the world a softer side of the erratic and unpredictable star. The plan quickly go awry, though, when Dieter’s soulmate wants nothing to do with him.

Rating: Teen. But this blog is *always* 18+ Word Count: 5.7k Warnings: *Blanket warning for chronic illness, cursing, and deceased family members. This is a Dieter fic, folks, so there absolutely will be discussions of drugs, drug use, and addiction.* Enemies to lovers, family hardships. Summary: Dieter meets with his team about their new strategy to fix his image problem, and you battle your best friend about how to respond to it when the campaign goes live. Notes: Welcome to the Soulmate Sunday Family to our favourite Trash Can Man, Dieter Bravo! This is my first time writing anything enemies to lovers and Keri and I are having a blast with the secondary characters for this series. Hopefully you guys will enjoy it as much as we are!

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247 notes - Posted May 29, 2022

Better Together

Frankie Morales x female Reader x Benny Miller Co-written with @absurdthirst

Rating: Explicit. 18+ only friends! Word Count: 10.5k Warnings: Allusions to past addiction, food talk, unbearable amounts of fluff. FishBen comes with its own warning. Established relationship, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, double penetration, pool sex, outdoor sex, oral sex (m and f receiving), fingering, lovers being greedy, jealousy mention, teasing, mentions of future escapades, picture taking/homemade porn, biting, rough sex, cum eating, creampie Summary: Frankie has had a rough day and needs some attention from his girl right away, but Benny refuses to be left out. Notes: Once upon a time, I told Keri about a dream I had where Benny gets pout because you and Frankie started without him. It went right onto our prompt list and lived there, happily awaiting its turn to be brought to life. Well...that time has come. And it cums a LOT.

Together in Chronological Order:Waking Up TogetherTaking Care TogetherBetter TogetherCelebrating Together

These moments are rare. The ones where he hits the door and just needs to feel anything other than what's making his skin crawl. Often coming home is a sense of relief. An opening of the door and calling out into the house to see who is busy, even though he knows who is home from the cars in the driveway. The depositing his keys in that bowl by the door and the shucking of his jacket and hanging it up on that little bench seat hook thing you had insisted be make one weekend after pouring over Pinterest. It's groaning when he sits down and takes off the cowboy boots Santiago makes fun of and the relief of his aching feet being free while he wiggles his toes. Sighing as the weight of the day rolls off his back like water off a duck's feathers. Leaving it all right there so he can spend time with his loves without burdening you with it.

Instead of that normal routine, he's practically jumping out of his skin. His lips seeking yours as soon as you round the corner and your eyes light up when you see him. He needs that. Needs you. Barely kicking the door shut before he's on you, pouring his need into the meeting of your mouths and his flick of his tongue against yours.

“Frankie!” His name is a muffled squeal from your lips as he absolutely devours you the second he walks in the front door. The surprise melts away in seconds, leaving you pressed between his body and the hallway wall before you can think. “Mm, I missed you, too.”

"Need you." He pants against your lips, his cock already starting to harden against your hips and the fact that you are in your bathing suit makes the half-formed idea he had of having you develop into something more. "Let me fuck you in the pool, baby."

There are only a few reasons that Frankie ever plows into the house like this, desperate and needy and ready to go without anything more than a tangled kiss. Usually it means he’s had a particularly stressful or hard day and he’s ready to relieve that in the very best way possible. You knock his cap off in your haste to get your arms around his neck, nodding into another deep kiss. “Anywhere you want.”

He groans into your mouth, letting go of your curves so he can start to shuck his jacket but unable to take his mouth off of you for the second it would take as you start to draw him back through the house. The still bright light of the evening shining through the windows and large slider that leads out to private backyard. The sparkling blue pool calling his name and the idea of having you in it makes him eager to follow while still trying to kick off his boots.

“Don’t trip, baby.” You’re tugging his t-shirt up over his head and pulling his belt buckle open with no problem, but it would not be the first time he’s tripped trying to take off those damn boots he loves.

He grunts, the rush of need still hammering in his veins. He doesn't give a shit. If he trips, he’ll pull you down and he'll fuck you on the floor in the kitchen. He doesn't care. Instead of answering, his fingers start stripping down your bikini bottoms.

“Frankie—” It’s a whimper this time, moaned into the empty house while he nips across your skin, teeth scraping and tongue soothing every inch of you as he goes. There is a tentative, needy whine in your tone that makes him grin against your lips. He likes when you are like that. Wanting him, needing him. Providing him with the distraction of his mind. Filling it with nothing but you.

"Fuck, baby..." He doesn't stop, crowding you against the glass door in the kitchen that leads to the backdoor and tugging at the ties of your top to pull it away while you start to pull at the fly of his pants. Humming, he loves when your tits are free. Cupping them and massaging them before he lets go to open the door. To get you outside into the pool.

You don’t hesitate for a second, reaching over to turn on some music on the little outdoor speaker system you have set up so the neighbors don’t bitch, then jumping right into the water without a scrap of fabric left on your body. Florida weather was made for fucking in the cool relief of your backyard pool. “Come on, gorgeous,” you beckon him to follow with one crooked finger. “Can’t fuck me if you’re still on the deck.”

It only takes a moment for him to shuck his pants and boxer briefs down, hard cock bobbing heavily, before he’s ready to jump in himself. Doing just that and splashing you before he comes up and immediately starts wading towards you.

“Bad day, baby?” Reaching for him, you pull him to you with your legs around his waist.

Frankie huffs. “Not bad.” His fingers slide between your thighs, and he doesn’t waste any time pushing two of them deep inside your clenching core.

"Holy shit!" The suddenness is what takes you off guard. It's not as though you weren't soaking wet for him the second his tongue swiped into your mouth in the hallway, but Frankie's thick fingers are always worth moaning about. He's in the mood to act right now, not talk, which means later on in front of the TV he'll be cuddling into the middle of the couch looking for soft snuggles.

"Fuck." He twitches against your thigh and starts to pump his fingers into your tight walls while his mouth starts to kiss and suck his way down your neck and across your chest. Tasting your skin mixed with the chlorinated pool water. Making him groan when he licks away beads of water and sucks on your skin, relishing the way your blunt nails dig into his shoulders while you hold onto him and lean back to give him more access, your breast bobbing enticingly just under the waterline.

“Gonna leave your marks on me, baby?” There’s something gorgeously feral about the way your men get when it comes to leaving marks on any part of you that just makes your count clench down even tighter on Frankie’s talented fingers. It’s primal and needy and sexy in a very possessive way that you can’t deny absolutely loving. They like to bite and scratch, both of them, and you love the roughness that comes with their affection.

There is a split second where he stops, dark eyes finding yours and his lips curve in a deliciously wicked smirk. Right before he attacks the top of your breast and bites on the flesh before moving down to take your pebbled nipple into the heat of his mouth. Frankie curls his fingers just right inside you, making your walls flutter and pulse and hold him tight while you sob his name, drenching his hand in your release. It doesn’t matter how many times he makes you cum with those magic pilot’s hands, it always makes you shake in his arms and beg for more.

The consistency of your release is so differing from the pool water. Slick and slippery. Frankie groans and his cock is already aching to be inside you. Deep enough in the pool that he can still put his feet down, he traps you against the cool tiles on the sidewall and releases your nipple from between his teeth. “Wanna fuck you baby.” He moans. “Make you cum on my cock.”

“Oh fuck.” Leaning back against the edge of the pool, your tits are completely in display for him while his hands carefully trace every inch of you below the surface of the water. Your eyes are just as dark as his now, loving the roughness when one of you gets needy. “Do it, baby. Split me open and make me scream.”

You don’t have to tell him twice. Fingers pull out of your pussy and position the thick, blunt head of his cock at your entrance. Hands moving to the edge of the pool for more leverage before his hips surge forward, burying the long length of his cock inside you to the very root.

The moan he pushes out of you is loud and long and gorgeous, not some strangled thing you try to hide or cut off. Fuck the neighbors - they keep you up in the middle of the night fighting, so you’ll fuck as loud as you want to. “God, Frankie — you fill me up so f-fucking good.”

You, the feel of you around him and the sounds you make are all he can think about. Pussy drunk on the way that your body grips his, he doesn’t even register the sounds of movement in the house while the water starts to churn from the way that his hips are moving, pushing you up against the side of the pool and then letting you slide down when he pulls back. Focused on you and the moment, blind to everything else in the way that he needs. “Fuck – shit, baby. So good.” The words are thick on his tongue, like he’s in a fog.

“Hey!” Benny’s voice is a pure pout from where he stands on the deck and your eyes blink open at the sound, taking in all six-foot-three of your favourite human puppy dog with his arms crossed over his chest as he looks down at you and Fish in the pool with his bottom lip stuck out. “You couldn’t wait ten extra fuckin minutes? You had to start without me?”

Frankie’s eyes cut over to where Benny is standing, the ire on his face not even phasing him. “No.” He grunts, still rocking into you at the same pace, even as he repositions his feet on the pool bottom and regrips the edge of the wall. “Make it- fuck- up to you.” He hisses when you clench around him, always happy to see your Benny and your body reacting accordingly.

Whimpering when Frankie doesn’t let up even for a second, you beckon Benny towards you with the hand that isn’t holding on tight to Frankie. “Strip down and c’mere, baby.” You beg, feeling even needier now that both of your boys are home. “Let me suck your cock while Frankie fucks me.”

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360 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

Broken Road - part 1

Javier Peña x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

When Javier’s high school sweetheart turns up at the Embassy, it shakes him right to his foundation. How will he cope when he learns that everything he thought he knew about his first heartbreak was a lie?

Rating: E is for explicit! It’s Javi, after all Word Count: 11.3k Warnings: YEARNING. So much yearning. Miscommunication, angst, shouting, straight up lies, manipulation, broken hearts and broken trust, family behaving badly, mentions and appearance of sex workers. This chapter contains portrayals of teens in a consensual sexual relationship. Oral sex (female receiving), vaginal sex, protected sex (wrap it before you tap it). Summary: Your first day at your new posting in Colombia turns out to be a hell of a lot more dramatic than you ever expected when the nice DEA agent you meet in the halls namedrops his partner - Peña. Which is the name of the boy who broke your heart sixteen years ago. But it couldn’t possibly BE the same man, could it? Notes: Happy Valentine’s Day and welcome to some Javi angst! We tried to use some functional Spanish throughout the dialogue since they’re in Colombia and both Javi and reader are meant to be fluent. English translations are right alongside (in parenthesis) but if we got anything wrong, please let me know so I can fix it!

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5

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379 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Killer Writing - chapter 1

Dave York x plus size female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

After divorcing Carol so she could marry her soulmate, Dave York threw himself into his work. There is no way he could have predicted that the unexpected collateral damage on an op would turn out to be his soulmate. Now all he can do is keep you safe, and try his best to get you to not hate him as the two of you try to navigate a blooming relationship that started out with threats and a mean right hook.

Rating: Mature for violence Word Count: 9.4k Warnings: *Blanket content warning for self-esteem, self-image, and weight issues.* Canon typical violence, assassination, guns, a good solid punch to the jaw, kidnapping, binding and not in the fun way, fight or flight response is definitely fight, anxiety baby, food and diet things, violence against tea bags. Summary: Your rather humdrum life of Lab Assistant by Day - Fanfic Writer by Night is turned on its ear when your boss is suddenly killed in your lab and her killers take you hostage. And as if that isn’t dramatic enough for one morning, it seems that the ringleader is your long-anticipated soulmate. Notes: You guys, we are SO EXCITED for this debut. This idea was birthed many moons ago when the soulmate universe was just starting out it’s one that Keri and I hold near and dear to our hearts. 💕✨ As always, please remember that even if a chapter is not marked explicit for sexual content, this is still an 18+ blog and inappropriate for minors.

Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7

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402 notes - Posted February 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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transsexualhamlet · 2 years ago

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16 but I want an essay on it 17 for the hannibal fic ur working on specifically and 27

hellooooo seb seb seb :)

ask game - writing wrapped

16. Who was your favorite character to write?

I think for this year it has to be between Nikolai and Party Poison? Somehow they are both the same brand and fucking opposite characters. I think it mostly comes down to their environment because at their core they have that same balance of hyperactivity, immaturity, and thrill seeking violence seeking bullshit that hides the underbelly of "this 20 something is already so fucking disillusioned with life that they are on the verge of a break with reality". You know. I think if they ever met each other they would give each other the autistic stare, shake hands, and mutually agree to kill each other in the most violent way possible. But at the same time they're so fucking different??? In no world would Nikolai manage to bond positively with a child im sorry it just. I don't think it could happen I think he would want it to happen but he would end up throwing it out the window. Poison didn't Mean to ofc but it just sorta happened. And Poison has an arc where he gets Better as much as it still ends badly and the whole thing is supposed to be at least a little heartwarming and well. Nikolai just gets worse lol

And I'm aware that my entire characterization of Party Poison is pretty much all made up past the bare bones of what danger days gives you and yknow like. Two panels in killjoys. And I guess whatever fanon I can assemble without reading fics and ruining the joy of making shit up myself. But they're literally such a fucking specimen for fucking real I am having so much fun dissecting that thang (Party Poison)

17. What songs did you listen to while writing?

For the Hannibal fic specifically?? Oh that's interesting well you see??? I can't listen to music with words while I'm writing because then I'll just end up writing the lyrics, getting distracted, never getting anything done etc. I listen to weird ass shit with no words. But for the Hannibal fic I've been listening to the song Ares on the Safe In The Steep Cliffs album by Emancipator on fucking repeat it's sooo good and it has kind of the same vibe as the piece as in. A silent calm abandoned place built in the ancient fighting grounds of gods where snow covers ruins and giant columns crumble under their own weight. You know. Normal lofi music.

27. What books, movies, etc helped instruct your storytelling this year?

I mean I generally write fanfic so I mean. The source material is obviously the inspiration for it. But I do have some original stuff and lemme tell you American Psycho really inspired one of my stories for school (does not elaborate in the slightest)

I think the book Leech by Hiron Ennes has inspired me in General. It's literally so fucking good I cannot stand it I ate that thing up like autism favorite food it's so fucking scrumptious (it's 80 percent gothic horror and medical gore 20 percent the most mindbreakingly well built sci fi lore that barely gets elaborated on) But it's. Seriously I cannot recommend it more it's not even about queer people it's about Parasites and Diseases but you can tell it's written by a queer person in the best way I want to eat Hiron's brain

#rowan gets yelled at #ask game #please feel free to ask more everyone this is SO fun

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fanfic-lover-girl · 1 year ago

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People like appreciation for their work! I don't believe that readers should comment on everything. Though I leave comments on almost everything I like. I used to even comment on fics I hated but then I starting getting blocked so I stopped haha. I especially feel compelled to comment if there are no other comments.

I have fanfic ideas in my head 24/7 (God help me). My first fanfics were in the Star Wars fandom. The ideas kept flowing. It helped that anons sent prompts too back then. But then I posted them to AO3...and nothing. I had like 3 comments total on the 21 SW fics I wrote. I will say that this month I got a comment on one of them and it was the best comment I ever had. The commenter told me that my fic helped them heal from a fractured sibling relationship and it helped them love themselves a bit more. I was blown away. The fic was intended to be a fluff piece about Luke being babied but it had a real impact on this random person. I felt so blessed when I read that comment. You would not believe it. I don't see myself writing any more SW fics but that comment definitely put SW back on my radar. Maybe if I got that comment back in my SW craze, I would still be writing SW fanfiction.

Compared to the silent reception for my SW fics, I have gotten way more comment interaction from my Harry Potter fics. And because of that I just wrote my 4th HP fic when I intended to just write the one and done. And I have a ton more swirling in my head waiting to be written!

Commenting is really fun and I don't get why people don't do it more often. As a reader, I love getting a reply from the author! Fanfiction is not just content. People need to stop treating it like a free product and stop being demanding leeches.

I don't understand why more people don't comment on fics from a perfectly self serving perspective. Do readers not realise they are often the difference in how much fic they get from a writer they like in their fandom?

I don't know, maybe we are not supposed to say this as writers, given the prevaling write for yourself uwu culture these days, but I've had instances where I only meant to drop one fic for a small pairing and dip but that fic got such a warm reception -- and by that I don't mean hundreds of kudos, I mean a handful of people who took time out of their days to leave meaningful comments that went beyond 'I loved this!' -- that I ended up writing ten more. Conversely, I've written fics I was simply compelled to write but the reception was so lukewarm, I moved onto more fertile ground once the brain worms were satisfied, even though I had ten more ideas I could have explored for the same pairing. And I've seen so many other writers do the same.

I personally don't comment on every fic I read -- exhaustion gets in the way -- so it would be hypocritical for me to expect the same of anyone else, but man, it baffles me that other people don't strategise in their commenting, that when they see a writer they love they don't go extra hard on fics that don't have much interaction or for writers that are a bit more needy -- yet another thing one does utter in polite society -- not out of any sense of gratitude or anything like that but just to get more good fic, just from perfect selfishness.

#writing #fanfiction ao3 #fanfiction stuff #fanfiction writer #commenting #show writers appreciation!#commenting is mutually beneficial #fandom interactions

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eggytugboat · 6 months ago

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HEY. 11 and 13 for the fanfic writer ask!!!!!

11. Favorite character to write? Why do you like writing them? How many fics have you written about them?

Oliver Quick your honor! 8 of my 9 fics on Ao3 are Oliver centered. Teehee.

And tbh, he reminds me of me. A lot more violent and obsessed! But it's easy to write him. Writing my own thoughts and experiences with social problems is also nice! He's just a little guy who is clinically insane! Just like me!!

13. Favorite fic? Why is it your favorite?

Love is Like a Leech! A 10k one-shot where Oliver is the Symbiote and Felix is the host. It was a lot of fun writing super dumb Felix and violence obsessed Oliver alien. Also it's a behemoth. I feel the most proud with that one ❤️

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cummin-n-cryin · 2 years ago

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You do love me, right?

You have doubts about Jade Leech's love for you.

(Aka how Jade Leech shows he loves you.)

Jade Leech x reader (gender neutral)

Tw: angsty I guess??

Side Note: Written in a headcannon type of style, not a full fanfic. My first fic yay!! I was so nervous to post this lmao. Lemme know if you like it thx!♡

"Oya? What is the matter my dearest?"

Very few people get to see a genuinely caring side to Jade Leech. His true emotions and intentions always hidden behind a deceptively kind smile.

But lucky (or unlucky) for you Jade does not need to pretend, err well at least you don't think he's pretending.

If you were to ask him if he truly did care for you he would likely say something along the lines of, "Oh my, what ever would make you think something like that? I assure you my feelings are genuine my dear. You shouldn't let such thoughts bother you... Ah, i'm sure you're tired from today, why don't you take a break?"

(the bastard just dodges the question and makes you feel even more confused lmao)

However, whenever you're in doubt know that he does show how much he cares about you through his actions, lending an ear for when you need to vent, bringing you tea or whatever your favorite beverage is to help you feel better after a bad day. He'll even make you something to eat if you request for it. He might also help tidy up your room without your knowledge knowing that it takes one less burden off your shoulders.

(he may ask for something in return tho, so be careful with that..)

Jade will also show how much he cares by spending a lot of time with you. Of course he can't spend all of his time with you, working at the Mostro Lounge, wrangling his brother Floyd, and making sure Azul's plans come to fruition are all very important.

(he just does it cause he thinks it's fun lmao)

Cultivating his mushrooms, building terrariums, hiking in the mountains, and studying for upcoming tests will also take a lot of his time, but that's the perfect time for you two to hangout together!

Then there's those quiet nights where it's just the two of you gazing up at the stars together. No words spoken, you both resting comfortably in each other's presence. It's times like this when you're not looking at him, instead gazing far into the stars, that he looks at you and is truly glad to have you here. You laying next to him with the stars reflected in your eyes he can't help but to think of how much he cares about you, of how much he adores you.

Jade Leech doesn't express his love with words, as he feels that it's unnecessary. He believes you should know by now just how much he cares about you, but if it truly helps to quell the painful thoughts and the dreadful doubt lurking within your mind about how much he really does love you, then he will tell you precisely just how much he loves you...

#twst x reader #jade leech #jade leech x reader #twisted wonderland #twst

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ingravinoveritas · 2 years ago

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While I'm wary to an extent of season 3 potentially ruining the whole Staged thing (I always worry when things I liked get sequels), I disagree that the M/D chemistry was the only thing keeping it afloat. I was actually struck with how clever & well made it was, & genuinely funny. I can't remember any current 'comedy' thing that made such an impression on me exactly because of how it was written. So I don't agree with your view (as it seems) of Simon as some sort of leech/creative nothing.

Hi, Anon! Well thank you for writing in to share your thoughts. I do appreciate it very much, and am glad to hear other points of view.

So, it seems that I may not have been completely clear in what I was trying to convey in this post, with my thoughts about the news of season 3. I don’t think that Simon is a creative nothing, not at all. I do, however, think Staged was something that came out of a very specific set of circumstances. It’s important for us to remember that, as well as the fact that there was a lot of privilege within those circumstances that enabled the show to be made.

The world had already changed after the first series came out, and has now changed even more with the impending release of the third series. Michael and David are out of their homes, busy working. It is difficult then, in my opinion, to recreate that moment in time, especially when the limits were already being pushed with the second series. The guest stars in S2 were evidence of that, as it seemed like Simon was trying to fill the airtime by distracting from what was missing, and so I do worry that it will be a similar situation in the third season.

That is not to say that the writing was or is all terrible. Far from it, in fact! There were plenty of lines in both seasons 1 and 2 that made me laugh out loud, particularly because of how Michael and David delivered them and played off each other. The cleverness of the writing shone because of them and their reactions to some very silly situations. But whenever they weren’t on screen, the show would drag.

It was noticeable in the first season, and then extremely apparent in the second series. But what really threw it into sharp relief was how awkward the scenes were with the women (Georgia/AL/Lucy), though it’s anyone’s guess whether that was due to the acting (of one person in particular) or the writing. Simon got self-referential as well by having a scene where the women poke fun at his writing skills...but it doesn’t excuse the fact that he cannot write for female characters, and did not seem to know what to do when Michael and David weren’t on screen.

(I will actually give Simon a bit of credit, to that end, because Staged is obviously his Michael/David fanfic, and the fact that he doesn’t seem really committed to including Georgia and AL in it just makes him one of us. Haha.)

But yes...I feel like the limits of the show were already really pushed with the second series. It will be difficult to not rehash material from the first two seasons--which has already started with the promo photo of AL and GT having Georgia wearing socks with AL’s “happy breasts” drawing on it--and there is level of meta that just becomes cringey and annoying instead of funny after a while. I think we were on our way there with S2 and now may fully be there with S3.

Ultimately, I think Staged did fill a void when there was no other comedy being produced, and it did help many of us to cope with an unprecedented time in our living history. But keeping it going also runs the risk of making the show a continual reminder of a period in time that most people would like to forget. (I always think of Michael in particular, who really seemed to be in a place of depression two years ago that was only alleviated when he was filming with David.)

I love that people have enjoyed and are enjoying the show so much, by all means. But I still think it’s important to look at Staged critically and to think about what it was that made it work--the writing, and Michael and David to bring that writing to life.

I hope this helps to explain my position better, Anon. Thanks for writing in! x

#anonymous #reply post #staged #or 'Brokeback Mount Him' which is what I am referring to Staged as from here on out #michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #simon evans #i very much appreciate Simon for giving us more of Michael and David together in the first place #but i just feel that their chemistry could be better served in something else #the eternal optimist in me is hoping for the best #so we'll see what happens #staged 3 #discourse

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zillennial97 · 4 years ago

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Friends to Lovers | Larry Fanfic Recs

Hiding Place by alivingfire | 365k | Explicit

Louis never wanted a soulmate, didn’t really care for the whole Bonding thing at all, really. Enter Harry Styles, who’s wanted to be Bonded for as long as he could remember. With one fateful meeting in an X Factor bathroom, Louis gets a dagger on his arm and the realization that just because Harry is his soulmate doesn’t mean it’s mutual.

From the X Factor house to Madison Square Garden, from the Fountain Studios stage to stadiums across the world, Louis has to learn to love without losing himself completely, because someday his best friend will Bond to someone and replace Louis as the center of his universe. Meanwhile, Harry begins to think that maybe fate doesn’t actually know what it’s doing after all, because his other half has clearly been right in front of him the whole time. All he has to do now is convince Louis to give them a chance.

Or, the canon compliant Harry and Louis love story from the very beginning, where the only difference is that the love between them is literally written on their skin, and there’s only so much they can hide.

And Then a Bit by infinitelymint | 158k | Explicit

“We’d like to give the fans what they want.” Magee states, placing his hand on the table in front of him and leaning forward. “We want to give them Larry Stylinson.”

Or, take a parallel universe where Louis and Harry were never together, mix in a two year hiatus and an impending comeback, pour in a dash of lost fans, two tablespoons of strong friendship and a Modest! employee with a good idea. Add a squeeze of pretending to be a couple, lots of kisses and a tattoo or two. Stir. Serve: the mother of all publicity stunts.

(aka Harry and Louis fake a relationship for publicity. Eventually it becomes a lot less fake and a lot more real.)

Wild Love by purpledaisy | 130k | Explicit

“Good,” Julia says, clearly pleased to have them both uncomfortable and unable to look at each other. “Now, I only have one more question before you can go. What are you planning to do when this experiment ruins your friendship?”

“We said we’d stay friends no matter what,” Harry says smoothly, his chin lifting in defense.

“That was our one thing going into it,” Louis agrees. “Stay friends no matter what.”

Julia raises a perfectly manicured brow, “That’s all fine and good. But I hope you realize your emotions aren’t going to realize this is an experiment in the end. If one of you falls for the other and finds out those feelings are not reciprocated, you’re not going to be able to laugh it off as a social experiment. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this, I’m just hoping you’ve considered all of the possible outcomes.”

- AU: Two best friends try to date each other for forty days. It's supposed to be fun until emotions make it complicated.

California Sold by isthatyoularry | 123k | Mature

Notoriously closeted boyband member Harry Styles is famous on a global scale, meanwhile Louis, as his best friend, is back home in Manchester, living the typical life of a 24 year old. When Harry needs Louis with him in LA, a publicity stunt gone wrong changes their friendship forever.

A fake-relationship AU between two lifelong best friends.

Tired Tired Sea by MediaWhore | 113k | Mature

As a B&B owner on the most remote of all the British Isles, Louis Tomlinson is used to spending the coldest half of the year in complete isolation, with his dog and the sea as sole companions. Until, one day, a mysterious stranger on a quest to rebuild himself rents a room for the winter.

Like a Bullet in the Dark by Vurdoc | 99k | Explicit

Prince Harold Edward Styles Lancaster is second in line to the throne of Great Britain. He is also your average Uni student- or he tries to be, anyway.

With a promise from the press (and his father) that they'll leave him alone for four years, he sets out to be a student at Cambridge, when he meets his very normal, very working class, very handsome suite-mate, Louis Tomlinson.

Louis makes Harry feel more like a person than he ever has before, which might cause some issues later on- 'cause Harry has a secret that he's only told his sister Gemma about.

Little does he know though, that Louis has some secrets of his own.

A Will & Kate Au- with a twist.

Christmas-ing With You by dolce_piccante | 65k | Mature

Two writers from Loving Heart Television, the premiere network for holiday romance films, find that, sometimes, love is not only in their works of fiction.

Faking It by TheCellarDoor | 46k | Mature

A uni AU in which Louis has been Harry’s best friend since he offered him cubed fruit on the playground, and they spend more time cuddling in their dorm beds than they do apart, but it’s not like that. Or is it?

Aka Harry pretends to date his best friend to escape unwanted attention from a too insistent classmate and hopes it won’t blow up in his face. Featuring embarrassing dildo accidents, awkward boners, longing, first times, late night conversations, emotional discoveries and Niall as the exasperated friend with bad advice.

if the sun don't shine by falsegoodnight | 36k | Explicit

Louis finds himself struck frozen, fingers stuck in place where he’s flattened them against the cold railing. It takes every bit of his remaining strength to pull them away, sliding them under his shirt and pressing them to his stomach to leech some of the warmth. He hardly pays attention to the bite of the wind and air on his shivering body. He can only pay attention to the music.

The music that is undoubtedly new to Louis’ ears, yet listening to it is the most familiar thing Louis has ever experienced. An inexplicable rush of emotions flood his mind and body, rendering him speechless and hollow. It’s a call of loneliness. It rings of everything Louis’ been feeling.

And the pure yearning - the intense longing for something and someone - tears through straight to Louis’ heart. The desperation feels all too intimate, all too real. It makes Louis think of what he yearns for more than anything. It makes him think of his soulmate.

In a world where you meet your soulmates in dreams, Louis has spent the last three years going to bed hoping to finally meet his, only to end up disappointed time and time again. It all changes with a violin.

From the Start by allwaswell16 | 32k | Explicit

Louis has no idea that one act of kindness will cause his life to spiral out of control. But that's what happens when his new friend fake proposes to him and a video of it goes viral.

Barefoot in Blue Jeans by indiaalphawhiskey | 24k | Explicit

AU. Louis Tomlinson is trying desperately hard not to fall for his son’s au pair, but he can’t, for the life of him, remember why.

475. The hope that this fear is unfounded.

In Dreams by dolce_piccante | 23k | Mature

AU. When Harry moves to a new city, his new flat come with a number of sweet, anonymous gifts and surprises that brighten his days. Could it be a friendly ghost? Another friendly presence in his new building is his tattooed neighbor, Louis, who seems determined to put a smile back on his face.

You're Writing Verses About Me by Rearviewdreamer | 23k | Teen And Up Audiences

Everybody knows that Louis has never been one for serious boyfriends. His reputation around campus precedes him, which is why he doesn't think twice before proudly telling his mother about his new and completely fabricated relationship with his oddly quiet and completely

And I Will Hold On To You by darkmarkburning, staybeautiful | 23k | Mature

“I can’t believe my best friend is about to be Prime Minister of Canada,” Harry whispered in his ear, his arms tight around Louis’ shoulders. “Who decided it was a good idea to let some brash kid from Doncaster run a country?”

“I don’t know,” Louis laughed into his shoulder, “but if you promise not to tell them they’ve made a mistake I’ll give you a posh office.”

“You’ve got yourself a deal, Tomlinson.” Harry pulled away and smacked a kiss onto Louis’ cheek. “I’m proud of you, Lou, I can’t fucking believe it, but I’m proud of you.”

or Louis has just been elected Prime Minister of Canada and Harry is his best friend since childhood.

the way the storms blow by rbbsbb | 21k | Explicit

Louis doesn’t have a habit of thinking about Harry’s dick.

That would be weird, seeing as they’re best mates, and they share a flat, and they’ve spent holidays at each other’s family homes. Their friendship hasn’t ever risen to a point where Louis should want to see his mate’s dick, and he’s happy to keep it that way.

Except, all that Louis can think about is exactly that. The size of it. The shape. The amount of people it’s been in.

Maybe it’s the tequila talking, or the fact that Louis’ just recently walked in to an eyeful of Harry taking turns on some slags that he’s never seen before, but. Louis’ mind can’t stop obsessing over the idea.

Autumn At My Window by TheCellarDoor | 20k | Mature

A canon-compliant AU, in which Harry and Louis are both in the band and have been sharing flats and hotel rooms for nearly five years, but never made the leap past 'friends who are too close for comfort'.

Featuring a lot of pining, Louis' addiction to Harry's scent, and a whole lot of sexual tension that might just snap loose when they decide to spend some time together all on their own.

The Sex Methods by Alice_Novelland | 19k | Explicit

Harry and Louis explore alternative methods aka sex methods to help each other out.

once bitten and twice shy by pinkcords | 19k | Mature

This time as his stomach rolls, there’s no doubt about it. He’s going to vomit. And if he does, it’ll be on Louis’ shoes, a nice little parting gift to go with the embarrassment he’s caused the both of them. “I’m gonna throw up,” he says just as Louis turns to look at him, blue eyes swimming with shock and confusion, and asks, “Is that true?”

Or, in a rush of bravery only senior year can bring, Harry confesses his feelings in a letter to his neighbor and best friend, Louis, only for the entire school to hear it and laugh him out of their small town in Wisconsin. Ten years later, Harry's a successful lawyer at Columbia Records, coming home for Christmas for the first time since he departed for college. He plans to work his way through the trip, eat his mom's cooking, and avoid everyone from his past for as long as possible. The only problem is best laid plans hardly ever go as intended.

Oblivious by Speechless | 19k | Explicit

"You say it's nothing serious after you've been obsessing over it for months," Liam observes, pausing their videogame. "But now you barely talk about it-" "You guys fucking ignore me whenever I try!" Louis shouts, bumping his shoulder against Liam's and hurting himself in the process. "You're postponing sex, when it's obvious that Luke's up for it at this point." Liam ignores him. "For some reason you've left Harry in the dark about it-" "What?!" Louis snaps, banging his controller against the coffee table. "I have not!" "And no matter how blatant it is, no matter how fucking ridiculous you both get when it comes to it-" "Shut your hole." Louis urges, pinching his thigh, as soon as Harry enters the room. "Shush."

* Where Louis gets a little crush on Luke and for some reason Harry starts acting weird *

searching for a sweet surrender (but this is not the end) by feelslikehxme | 18k | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles, the two most loved coaches on The Voice UK known for their banter on the show and best friendship off. Louis’s determined to win and finally end Harry’s winning streak with Zayn Malik on his team, but Harry’s flirting and Liam Payne have different plans.

— Or an AU based off the Voice where Louis’s Adam, Harry’s Blake, Niall’s Shakira, Zayn and Liam have a cliche Romeo/Juliet love story and Louis’s too old for pathetic pining.

Can I bother you for a sex? by perfectdagger (sincerelyste) | 16k | Explicit

Reason #40 – Called/texted the wrong person, but he was into it anyway

“So, this isn’t really an invite for a sex, I see,” Louis spoke, not missing the chance. There was a teasing smile on his lips as he turned around to face Harry again after he had just closed the door.

Harry let out a laugh as he closed his eyes and shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Oh for fuck's sake, Louis,” he looked back at Louis, “this will haunt me forever now, won’t it?”

Louis shrugged. “Not my fault some people manage to mistext and sext others at the same time.”

When Harry mistexts Louis, Louis realises that he wouldn't mind Harry bothering him with anything, especially not with sex.

You'll Be Home For Christmas by 2tiedships2 | 15k | Not Rated

“Honesty, Lou, just ask Harry for help.”

Louis remained silent as he continued to scowl at the Christmas calendar Niall had hung on their refrigerator.

“And be nice to my calendar filled with holiday cheer,” Niall instructed. “You’re going to burn a fucking hole in it from the way you’re glaring at the innocent thing. It’s not the calendar’s fault that your heat is starting so close to Christmas.”

You're The One That I Want by spacecakesandmilkshakes | 15k | Explicit

Harry had always been Louis' best friend and...well...his baby, until one day he realized that his baby was all grown up.

show you the stars in the daylight by bruisedhoney | 13k | Explicit

Louis laughed, the sound loud and borderline obnoxious. Harry winced. “Are you kidding, Haz? I wouldn’t even look twice at someone that couldn’t pick me up.”

And, well. That was new information to Harry. It’s not like Louis had ever mentioned to him that he was his type in any way, shape, or form. Harry shifted closer into the space between Louis’s legs, even more intrigued than before. “Why not?” he asked curiously, all pink lips and big curls. Louis smiled.

“Tiny, innocent, little Harold. Need someone that can pick me up, don’t I? I like being tossed around a little. You know, pinned down and made to take it. Lifted up like I’m nothing,” Louis said it all with a confident smile, his sharp little teeth tugging at his bottom lip as he locked eyes with the jock across the kitchen. “Think he might come over here. Move over. I don’t want him to think we’re together.”

Or, the one where Louis has a type and at sixteen and scrawy, it's definitely not his best friend's little brother Harry...ten years later, he changes his mind.

when everybody wants you by nightwideopen | 11k | Mature

Harry nearly faints on the spot. He got the job. He’s going to be on Saturday Night Live.

Three of Harry's dreams come true, then one of them falls apart.

the SNL au that no one asked for

Shape of You by Only_angel_28 | 11k | Explicit

“Seriously?” Surely, Harry must be joking. Louis arches a skeptical brow and snaps the waistband of Harry’s joggers playfully. “What exactly do you have down there, Styles? I know you’ve got four nipples, d’ya have a couple extra bollocks as well or summat?”

“No!” Harry shrieks, his voice bordering on shrill. “No,” He repeats a little quieter, calmer, “I just—I’m, er, kinda…big, I guess.”

Louis rolls his eyes in fond exasperation. “That’s hardly a problem, curly.”

*Or Harry is insecure about a certain rather large part of his anatomy that is apparently intimidating to the point where it has actually scared off potential shags. When he ends up confessing this to his best friend and roommate, Louis takes it upon himself to prove that Harry’s size doesn't have to be a curse, and decides to help show him just how perfect he is.

Waiting by allwaswell16 for LadyLondonderry | 10k | Explicit

Louis Tomlinson was Harry’s omega, of this Harry had always been sure. Unfortunately for Harry, Louis seemed to think they were just best friends. The six weeks that Harry has to live with Louis were going to be rough.

You Give Me Fever (What A Lovely Way To Burn) by my_fandom_OTPs | 10k | Explicit

Louis walks in on Harry jerking off in the shower. What happens after is just… Impulsive and spontaneous.

the value of this moment lives in metaphor by clicheanna for hattalove | 10k | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis and Harry are best friends and absolutely nothing more. It’s a bit strange that, suddenly, everyone thinks they’re dating.

Or the one where they’re all teachers at a high school and students are more invested in their lives than normally expected.

trusting things beyond mistake by sarcasticfluentry | 9k | Explicit

"Is that even possible?" asks Harry.

All of them stare at him for several seconds, and then Louis says, "What, coming untouched?"

"Christ," Zayn mutters, throwing his hands up. “This fucking band, I swear.”

...or, Harry wants to see if he can come without touching his cock and ends up getting more than he bargained for.

And I Will Steady Your Hand by kiwikero | 9k | Explicit

All first year university students who had not yet presented were strongly advised to join the Fire Away meetings, a support group for so-called 'late bloomers.'

They were not, however, advised to fall in love with someone else at the meetings without knowing what they might eventually present as.

A Christmas Wish by Snowy38 | 8k | Mature

"So when are you going to tell him?"

Louis pursed his lips at his sister, his Skype video call relaying his thoughts on that subject perfectly.

"Next question," he mused.

Lottie rolled her eyes.

"It's your birthday in four days, Louis."

"What difference does that make?" He scoffed.

She shrugged.

"You can get drunk and confess how you feel and take it back afterwards if he doesn't feel the same."

That might work if Louis wasn't in love with Harry. But Lottie didn't know that and she didn't need to find out.

"Thanks Lots," he said anyway.

"Seriously Lou what's stopping you?"

Louis sighed.

"Fear mostly."

Under that Damn Mistletoe by hickeystyles | 7k | Mature

Louis' heart froze when he looked over and saw Liam whispering in Harry’s ear and nodding towards the mistletoe. Louis’ eyes widened comically before he dove out of sight so Harry couldn’t see him standing under the mistletoe like an idiot, or worse, like he was part of Liam’s plan to have Harry kiss him.

Or a Christmas Party AU where Louis is in love with his best friend Harry and everyone else is trying to force the two of them under the mistletoe together

We Could Be A Dream by Bearandleonardwrite | 7k | Explicit

“So, I’ve never seen you at one of these parties before,” Harry says as he hands Louis his drink. “Who’re you here for?”

Well, shit. Louis was definitely not expecting that. He sips on his drink to give him a few moments to think of an answer and then, “Oh, y’know. I’m dating the host’s brother. What about you?” He’s quite pleased with himself. Great answer. He takes another drink as a reward.

Harry grins at him, eyes bright, and shrugs. “Gemma’s my sister.” Louis hums around the rim of his cup waiting for him to elaborate. “She’s the host,” he tacks on, smug smile on his face. Louis chokes on his drink and tries his best to glare at Harry while he coughs. Harry rubs at his back until he can breathe properly again, which is actually really not that helpful. “Didn’t realize we were dating, Lou. I’m flattered.”

(Basically; Louis meets Harry at a party that he wasn't invited to. He ends up asking Harry to tutor him so he can keep seeing him. Featuring a bit of pining and a tea party.)

Mission Fucking Impossible by orphan_account | 7k | Mature

“Are you and Louis fucking?”

Harry nearly spits out his drink as he tries to communicate a "what the ever living fuck" to Niall with his eyes.

Niall takes another casual sip of his beer “Not like I’m the only one thinking it mate, I’m just the only one saying it out loud.”

- Harry is in love with Louis, and he is almost positive Louis is in love with him too. Naturally, Harry deals with this by trying to get Louis horny and hope for the best.

Things don't exactly work out how he plans.

One day to believe in you by mediaville | 7k | Explicit

A mysterious force compels Louis to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Even when it's really inconvenient.

Harry blinks and has the nerve to look surprised. "You think about me when you get off?"

"Yes," Louis says. He wonders how hard he'd need to punch himself in the face to knock himself out.

"Often?"

"Yes, Christ, Harry," Louis groans. "Probably eight times a week for going on six years now. On average, you know. More when we were touring, less when I've been visiting family. Anything else you'd like to know?"

Fake It Till We Make It by whileatwiltshire | 7k | General Audiences

#33- Keeping up with the Neighbors

“We can fake it.”

What?

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“No I did not. Say it again.”

“I said” Harry started slowly, “We can fake having sex to teach them a lesson.”

It was clear to say that Louis's mouth went a little dry at the suggestion.

Or ,

Their neighbours were a bit too loud during their bedroom activities and Harry comes up with the worst plan to shut them up. Louis agrees anyways.

Web Me Harder by iwillpaintasongforlou | 6k | Explicit

Louis Tomlinson, otherwise known as London's masked hero Spiderman, finds himself crashing through the window of Harry Styles one night after a particularly nasty fight with a villain. Luckily Harry is a nursing student with a soft spot for caped crusaders who's more than happy to tend to all of Louis' wounds, no matter how many times he swings by.

candy in your mouth (i know you love me) by embodied | 6k | Explicit

“You’re wrong,” Harry says, jaw clenched tight. “Because if all I wanted was a fuck, I’ve got at least three willing parties a phone call and a five minute drive away. What I want is you. I want us, I want it to be normal again -”

“What the fuck is normal?” Louis yells, much too loudly, and has to pause to consciously lower his voice before he speaks again. “Because a year ago, normal was eating too much takeaway and watching B-movies on Netflix in your room, and then normal was me choking on your cock at half past two in the morning, and I don’t know about you, but as of the past few weeks, normal is not seeing or talking to you at all, because I’ve all but admitted that I’m fucking crazy for you and you don’t know what to say to that.” Louis’ chest heaves, his breath coming out short. He hears his own throat stick when he swallows, and his voice is decidedly weaker when he asks, “So which one is it, Harry?”

AU. Things have shifted since last Christmas.

Running Through a Cloud of Steam by allwaswell16 | 5k | Mature

As Harry’s long anticipated twenty-first birthday approaches, he anxiously awaits the moment when he finally meets his soulmate. He’s not even sure he believes in soulmates, but at the very least, he hopes to prove to his best friend that nothing can come between their friendship--not even a soulmate.

You Can't Blame Me For Tryin' by lululawrence | 5k | Mature

Reason # 38 - Because He Is From One of the Countries You Haven't Had Sex With a Person From Yet.

Louis had been accepted into the study abroad program through his uni back home and therefore got to spend a year in rural Minnesota, of all places, but he wasn’t going to complain. It was still a pretty cool experience, even if it was far different from what he had been expecting. And besides, if he’d been sent to literally any other university, he’d never have met Harry.

If It's Meant To Be (It'll Be, It'll Be) by lululawrence | 4k | Not Rated

“So, anyway. I’m done here and on my way to the airport. I think I’m expected to be there in the morning, around ten. I’ll let you know when I’m getting close.”

“Sounds good.” Harry pulled back from the window and threw himself onto one of the beds. Once he got comfortable, he steeled himself and then went for it. “It’s been too long this time, Lou,” he finally whispered. He watched as Louis bit his lip and nodded slowly.

“I know,” Louis agreed, just as quiet in return. “We have to swear to never go this long without seeing each other again. Two months is just...unacceptable. I’m gonna go now, but I’ll see you soon. ‘Kay?”

“Yeah. See you. Be safe,” Harry said, far too fondly for his best friend. He couldn’t help it though. It was how he always had been and probably always would be.

They hung up and Harry threw his arm over his face.

“I am so in love with him,” he whined to himself. “Fuck.”

Satisfaction by iwillpaintasongforlou | 2k | Teen And Up Audiences

Louis and Harry have known each other since before they could remember and been in love with one another for about as long, even though both steadfastly refuse to admit it. When Louis starts dating other people, it is only to help himself move on and not at all to make Harry jealous. And the sulking sort of anger Harry feels when he watches Louis kiss other people is completely irrelevant anyways.

#larry fanfiction recommendations #larry fanfic rec #larry fic #larry fanfiction #larry stylinson #louis tomlinson #harry styles #one direction fanfiction #one direction fanfic recs #larry fanfiction masterpost #friends to lovers

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kittlesandbugs · 3 years ago

Text

Writing has good times and bad times.

Just for fun, let’s check out my AO3 stats from 2017-2021. This is not to brag or drag anyone or anything, this is five years of statistics to make a point.

So let’s talk about those five years.

Wow! 84000 words! I had no idea I’d written that much total. That’s cool! Is it a lot compared to other people? I have no fucking clue and I’m not gonna sweat it because that way lies madness. Anyway. Averaging over 5 years, that would be about 16,800 words a year, right?

That is so not what happened.

So based on say 17k words average, this was a very good year for me! I started a new job in Japan! I was trapped in a teacher’s lounge for anywhere from 2-5 hours a day, depending on class load. I had to entertain myself somehow. Fresh into Dragon Age Inquisition and Mass Effect Andromeda came out, I had lots of inspo to play with and some new pals encouraging me. Good year!

Honestly, if you asked what I thought before I looked at this, I would have switched 2018 and 2019 in my head. I was still in Japan, still spending a ridic amount of time in the teacher’s lounge. Based on my google docs, I wrote a lot more than I published. And that’s fine! You don’t have to publish everything! Artists don’t publish every doodle that hits the paper. I don’t remember this being a good or bad year by any means, but writing apparently was not the focus.

See, I was surprised by how high this one was. It almost hit the average. I came back from Japan, and there was a lot going on with job hunting and my dad being sick with cancer/major surgery (he’s okay now), mentally I would’ve pegged this a bad writing year. But I got back into Dragon Age 2 and made some new friends that were into it. I never wrote fanfic for it before because I didn’t have friends who encouraged me to develop my OCs back in like IDK 2013? Who the fuck knows. Make friends! They help! And you may have a better year than you were expecting!

2020 sucked for everyone but God Did I Not Want To Write At All. I published some really old shit and wrote one little thing for a gift exchange and that was it. Did I not like that I wasn’t writing? Yeah, mostly from a frustration point because my friends were writing tons. But I did my best not to let myself get too down about it. Because it’s cyclical. It needed to lie fallow for a bit.

Because guess fucking what?

Here we are in 2021, apparently the greatest writing year of my life. Job hasn’t been too terrible, it’s not brain intensive most days, and I had a lot of downtime to write. Got some fresh inspo getting into interactive fiction, starting with TWC, ending with FHR (which apparently has latched onto my goddamn brain like a leech, we may be here a while.), made a fuckton of new friends who encouraged me to develop my dumb possum child, and well, as far as professional development this has been a bit of a dud year but as far as writing? Fab, couldn’t be better lol.

But anyway, the point of all this is: sometimes the words are gonna happen great, and sometimes it’s going to fucking suck and everything is terrible. Sometimes life gets in the way. Sometimes it doesn’t. The pipes clog and the unclog. I can’t tell you what’ll get your pipes unclogged and new shit happening. Sometimes it’ll be a new fandom. Sometimes it’ll be an old fandom you’re revisiting. Sometimes you’ll make the right friends and the inspo will generate itself just through chatting. Sometimes you just gotta keep trucking and hope the pipe unclogs itself.

It will eventually unclog, I promise. You just gotta get through it.

Your worth is not determined by how many words you write or the quantity of feedback you get. Keep on keeping on, and keep being awesome in the meantime.

Maybe 2022 will be your year.

#rambling? as if #i know a lot of people are down about their productivity #writing or drawing or anything #with all the wrap ups floating around #don't compare yourself to others #your life isn't their life #your productivity won't be theirs either #your worth is determined by the kind of person you are #not by how much you produce #get the capitalism out of your brain #and keep on keeping on #it'll get better #if it's been a bad year #it always does #hope this is helpful lol #you can reblog it

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danideservedbetter · 3 years ago

Text

Alright so, here’s how things are gonna work.

First off, welcome to this side blog. Since it won’t be jolly fun fandom content and will be a little more personal I decided to separate my health and writing journey from my fandom stuff, although all my fandom content will still be linked on my main blog here.

(I write Izuocha/bnha content which isn’t super popular so if you’re not here for that then yeah, I don’t blame you. But if you are I have a link to our discord and community content pinned so def check it out if you’re interested.)

Secondly, you guys will hear details about stuff relating to my health like what kinds of things affect my disorder based on the tests some doctors are ordering, how I’m trying to improve my diet and activity, and routines and goals I’m attempting for myself. I am underweight, and that’s something I’m going to be talking a bit about, so if that’s triggering following this blog might not be the best thing for you. Details under the cut.

So, what kind of disorder do I have and why did I decide to make a health journey blog? My disorder is called idiopathic hypersomnia. Basically what that means is that when my disorder is acting up (based on factors like stress especially or my generalized anxiety rearing its ugly head) I have the capacity to sleep. And sleep and sleep and sleep and sleep. My longest recorded uninterrupted “sleep-attack” was 26 hours long and ever since I caught Covid in January, my body had been slowly growing weaker to the point I was starting to develop atrophy. I’ve had this ten years and my neurologist suspects inactive cells from mononucleosis I caught at 14 was the cause, because other IH patients have linked their sleeping problems to a case of mono or have had it at some point in their lives.

This disease stole many years and many things I’ve looked forward to from me. I lost friends and experiences and failed so many college classes I had to drop out.

I’ve decided I’m taking them back.

It’s not going to be easy. Just as it took ten years to convince myself that my tiredness was something I chose to give into, it took several extra years and many fights with my family to convince them that I had a real actual neurological disorder and that I need help sometimes. My parents and grandmother finally understand that I have to finish college and find a very special boss willing to work around my erratic progress on projects, but the outsiders they married are not as convinced. My grandmother’s husband kicked me out of their house because he wants to be the center of attention and doesn’t like that some days I’m so weak that I needed my grandmother’s help, and my father’s wife thinks I’m a lazy and ungrateful leech who “gets anxiety just being around” me. Both told my father I’ll never be happy so why even bother with me, but my dad is actually striving to understand his own recently-diagnosed PTSD so while we still butt heads he’s understanding that I have to take things day by day because every tiny circumstance affects my disorder.

Now, why did I decide to air all this out? Well, being open about my disorder and how it affects me has helped at least two people that I know of find out that the tiredness they experience isn’t the typical “American work force exhaustion” they were trained to believe is normal. So if I can help even one more, I’ll gladly talk about what this entails and how I deal with it day to day. Another reason is that I’m also one of those big advocates who believes talking candidly about mental health destigmatizes it and sharing ideas can help us grow as people and maybe make it a little easier to deal with.

So now that you know a little bit about me and my disorder, here are my big goals for the next three months provided my university takes pity on me and actually lets me go back.

First up: create routines to train my body to get used to living a full day fully awake. This includes waking up at the same time and going to sleep at the same time. It means getting dressed and going out and doing things, even little things— which I’ll get to in a sec.

Second: I write. I have a novel in limbo and I write fanfics. Writing is a big part of who I am and I’ve written one thing this year, which for a whole six-month stretch is upsetting and disappointing. Today is my reset. In the next 569 days I want to to finish the six stories I have in limbo (except the larger one) and finally reach my goal of posting 200k words in a single year. I wont be hard on myself if I can’t accomplish this because honestly finishing anything in the chaos of my life is going to be a miracle but. There ya go.

Third: go back to freakin college. I don’t care what it takes. Sit down with every official, every lawyer, and every professor it takes to get me back enrolled in classes in the fall.

Fourth: I have several smaller things I have to do, short term goals, stuff like that. I’m gonna create a to do list each day of small tasks I want to get done and while some of these things will be part of my daily routine I am throwing in like one or two things a day that just need to be done. My writing goal will change daily and I’ll keep y’all updated on that with every post I make.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Dani! That’s so much!! Well, a few months ago I remembered hey!! I basically have a computer in my hand, why make it hard on myself. So I downloaded certain apps to help me out. This isn’t me saying “hey go subscribe to these apps because I said so” it’s just that through a lot of trial and error I’ve come to find that these certain apps work for me and I’ve yet to come across one that has the functionality of everything I need.

Tiimo — so this is an app I found developed by people with autism for people with autism to help them develop good habits and routines. It has preset daily schedules (things like morning routines or nightly routines or work routines) and an internal alarm to let you know when to move on to the next task. I myself have extremely low-level aspergers (to the point where my doctor won’t give me an official diagnosis because I didn’t want people think that *it’s* the reason I have issues with school), so moving from task to task can be difficult sometimes and I also deal with getting distracted. This widget also appears on my home screen so I know what I have to do at a glance. You can program in weekly and daily tasks to fully customize your schedule, which is fantastic for someone like me who wants to for example rotate chores. This is hopefully going to help me get my body in the habit of adjusting to routines and transitioning from one task to another, as well as getting important things done responsibly.

Promptly Journals — I’ve been told for a while that journaling is helpful mentally to kind of recenter yourself, so a bit ago I downloaded several journal apps to add to my morning routine. Now some will prefer more creatively free journals, but I prefer this one that gives me small prompts I can do in a short amount of time that just allows me to get my thoughts down. I can even add pictures at the bottom that go with the theme! I’m scared I’ll run out of prompts eventually lol but until then this app works very well for my needs.

Stretchingexercise — Now idk if it’s from lack of sleep from my disorder, the position I sleep in when I do sleep, all the physical labor I’ve had to do in the past couple weeks, my medicine, or w h a t but I suffer from body aches like no one would believe. I know stretching is supposed to help with that, so I downloaded this app to help me do non-demanding physical activity that wakes me up in the mornings and helps relieve pain so I don’t keep having to take pain relievers. This one has different plans for things like muscle tension, back pain, warm ups— and it also gives you rudimentary weight updates (I’m underweight lololol so we’re looking to fix that) or plan updates. It’s worked really well for me so far and gives you animations and descriptions of the workouts (some taken from yoga) as well as timed breaks and a narrated guide. It’s been pretty helpful in temporary relief and if nothing else gets my blood flowing in the mornings.

Widgetsmith Step counter — in addition to the stretching thing one thing my doctor and I discussed that helps with the sedentary lifestyle is simply walking. I’ve needed so bad to relieve my stamina and reverse the atrophy, and walks have been stellar for that. Now I live in the New Orleans area so humidity and heat force me to go at the crack of Dawn, but honestly my weenie dachshund Charlie really enjoys our time out so he goes with me! The CDC recommends 10,000 steps a day which seems like a lot and it is if you don’t get out much. But this gives me an excuse to get dressed and do the hygienic thing and help Charlie be healthy too, as well as give me time for brainstorming because we walk in a truly beautiful area. I’m sure everyone installed widgetsmith with the last iOS update (Apple users anyway) and while at first the step counter was just interesting I’ve since come to rely on it! We do our 5000 in the morning, which of course is half, and I find that other things I do throughout the day typically drive the counter higher. Anything leftover can easily be accomplished by an evening walk in our neighborhood. Now the caveat is that I have to remote have my phone in my pocket because I don’t own a watch or anything fancy lol, but honestly I need to keep it on me anyway so that serves as a good reminder.

Todoist — this one is my FAVORITE. Ever since I’ve decided that I have trouble keeping track of things I need to do and small stuff I need to keep in mind and appointments, etc, I decided to find a list app. This is the one I found that absolutely helps me for everything from my list of room supplies I need to buy, to my reading list, to general tasks I have coming up I need to complete. And its widget functionality keeps it right on my Home Screen! More organized individuals can just use tiimo, but I’m definitely not one of those individuals so this app is sorely needed and appreciated.

And of course, I know building habits the first few weeks is HARD. So for days my body doesn’t respond to my alarms, I have a checklist of the key things I have to do to keep my life as functional as possible.

So that’s that on that. I’m going to try to keep writing updates and my daily goals in a post in the morning, and reblog what I accomplished in the evening. It’s gonna be tough. But I’m thinking if I can start small I’ll be able to build my stamina enough to return to college and be successful when I do. I hope that anyone watching this journey draws some kind of meaning or inspiration from it. And you guys can even follow along if y’all want! Especially for writers or people trying to get healthier. I can’t promise what works for me will work for you (and honestly I expect things to change especially if I get accepted into college again) but hey, I figure it’s worth a shot.

I hope you guys enjoy watching this journey, if nothing else I hope it’s entertaining. And maybe it’ll be successful. I do know that I’m just gonna try for it, and hope it works out.

First daily update to follow

Xoxo

Dani

#idiopathic hypersomnia #health and wellness #writing challenge

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astringofmadhousefloozies · 4 years ago

Text

Ghost Wedding: The Remix

So, uh, here’s the first actual fanfic I’ve written, and the first full length piece I’ve written in literal years. I wrote it for my own amusement, after weeks of eating up various bits of TWST lore and scenes and going “But, how would the whole Ghost marriage story have gone with a Yuu who was more like me a goth bisexual disaster?

What follows is a series of vignnetes, starring a Yuu who’s the only girl in NRC, with deeply questionable taste, told in the second person. Please let me know if you enjoyed it, I crave positive feedback and like when other people enjoy the things I like.

Contend warnings for blood, body horror, emeto, coarse language and pretentious word choices.

You've been here a while. En-Arr-See wasn't precisely a safe place, what with your dorm being a condemned hellpit of tetanus and black mold, and powerful magicians having mutagenic psychotic breaks only curable by kicking their ass so hard it flies out their mouth. But certainly, it wasn't boring, and you'd made friends. You had your scrappy ginger Ace in the hole; your serious mamas-boy Deuce; your funny little not-a-cat Grim. Hell, you even have your Horned Boy, he of the poison-coloured eyes that never seem to leave your face when you talk about fun things like books and music and the moral imperative of dissolving the monarchy. And, you were on speaking terms with a good chunk of others. So, when your favourite little robot came up to Crowley, yelling something about ghosts kidnapping his brother, you took his hand and said, "Ortho, show me what's going on." After all, you won't let anything happen to Idia. You have plans for him yet.

~*~*~*~

Some beauties might launch a thousand ships, and in your (objectively correct) opinion, while Idia's beauty wouldn't lead to a ten year siege of Troy, he'd certainly convince everyone attending Whitby Goth Weekend to haul off into the sea with a beat of his lashes. The first time you'd seen him, you'd simply stared in slack-jawed awe. He was luminescent; even leaving behind the fiery hair that flashed and swelled behind him, his eyes were a bright clear amber, and his skin translucent, with his own blue veins serving as the detailing in the marble. Add in the deeply circled eyes and the bluish discolouration of the lips, and the figure he presented was arresting, astounding, more beautiful and unreal than anything you'd conjured up after staying up all night reading ghost stories. "Magnificent," you'd said to yourself, and if your friends gave you a strange look, well, fuck 'em. They have no sense of beauty or taste.

Unfortunately, the intensity of your gaze proved too much for him, and he'd fled. You'd had no time to pursue the object of your infatuation either, class would soon begin, and Grim was yelling. Later, then. There's all the time in the world to ask after the fine young man with the lamplight eyes.

~*~*~*~ "Oh no," you said when Ortho showed you the video. "She's really hot."

Grim gawked and Crowley raised an eyebrow. "Is that what you take from this?"

"You're the one with an all-boys school. What's a girl like me to do when a pretty girl pops up?"

"She's a ghost, Yuu."

"That's the best part."

"My brother-"

"I'll help you, dear." You set a hand on Ortho's shoulder. "He must be so frightened, right? I'll do what you need."

Before anyone could say anything else, a racket started up outside, and things got a little busy.

~*~*~*~ "Do you mind if I sit?"

Idia looked up at you. starting at the intrusion. His face was awash in blue from the conjured screens around him, his lips gone black. "...Why?"

"Tables are full. I'd rather not eat standing." He didn't explicitly say no, so you settled across the table, a few chairs down. He made a fascinating tableau as you picked at your lunch, flicking through and typing at the screen. Lines of code, schematics for all sorts of tech, occasional comics all flit across the pane of light in a million shades of blue. Until...

"Could you pretend I'm a bug?"

You squinted. "What." What the actual hell did he mean by that.

"Pretend I'm not here. I'm beneath notice."

You stop for a moment and smile, faint enough that he can't see the devil in it. "You want me to treat you like an insect."

"Yes." Hard to see in the light, there was a small twitch by his temple, a barely perceptible shake in his long fingered hands.

"Alright." With that, you slide down the table to directly across from him, settle you chin in your hands, and stare at him unblinkingly.

"?!?!?" The squawk he made was undignified and deeply, deeply endearing. "What are you doing?"

"You asked me to treat you like an insect." You smile at him, full of mischief and good cheer. "So I'm looking at you very closely. I'm taking in every sweet action, and delighting that the day has conspired to put something so wonderful in front of me."

Oh, who would have thought that this blue boy could turn so pink! As he pulled his hood up, you chuckle and move back to your tray. "I'll let you be," you say, and did indeed, for the amount of time it took him to close up shop and flee back to the depths of Ignihyde. When you waved at him as he went by, he nearly tripped in his haste.

~*~*~*~ "Stop laughing."

The boys did not listen.

"May others show you the kindness you've shown Idia if you're in a bind."

"You're just mad because she's gonna kill your-"

"Grim? Shut the fuck up. Now; who's helping."

After a chorus of 'no's, you drag your fingers through your hair. "I hate all of you so fucking much right now... Ortho, your ideas?"

Ortho's idea was deeply enticing but Crowley would not have the school leveled, and thankfully, the two of them threatened and guilted the others into helping. You'd have to say thank you later, but god, then Crowley might think you actually liked him instead of just finding him funny, and who needed that in their life?

"Alright, so... A plan?"

~*~*~*~ As badly as he might've liked to have escaped, there was only one empty seat in the class, and it was by him. So, Idia threw his hood up, along with his headphones, and started blatantly ignoring you.

"Idia." Silence.

"Idia." A faint grunt and he turned away from you.

"Shroud," you intoned in the most sepulchral tone you could, setting you hand in his field of vision. He whipped his head at you, the fire in his eyes nothing compared to the changing colours on his head.

"WHAT."

You raise your hands in supplication, trying to still your racing heart. "I'm sorry dude. I wanted to ask where you got your screens?"

"My screens?" His eyes flicked back to his schoolwork, hovering in the air. "I made them myself."

Your face lit up in awe. "That's amazing dude, holy shit. How'd you do that? It's a damn miracle."

"Ah... well..." Two sides warred within him - pride that someone recognized his tech genius, and his deep seated anxiety that anyone trying to be nice was just fucking with him. Fortunately for both of you, pride won out. "It's certainly something complicated for a magicless normie like you to understand." He raised a questioning eyebrow. "Do you really want to hear?"

You fixed him with a level look. "Never call me that again. Now, start like I'm five and go from there."

He stared back at you, and you stared right back. "Indulge me, Idia."

He gave you a smile full of sharp, crooked teeth, and while you tried to still the palpitations the sight of them gave you, he started with very basic theory, and went from there.

~*~*~*~ "You are not going to seduce the ghost bride, Yuu."

"Why the hell not?"

"You're a girl?"

"You're kinda plain."

"You're fat."

"She's probably straight?"

You point in turn at Leona, Azul, Vil, and Kalim. "So?, no I'm plenty hot actually, get fucked, and... Okay, That is a good point. But Kal, you have no idea how many straight girls I've managed to kiss."

"I think you'd die, Shrimpie," Floyd said as he flopped heavily over your shoulders, giggling as you attempted to untangle yourself. "And you're short."

"Yeah, but you have no idea how hot I am when I'm actually try- Shut up, Vil - Like, I clean up so good you guys. I even made a suit a couple weeks ago -"

"That's convenient? Weirdly so?"

"I found suiting that wasn't moth eaten and decided to have fun, at least-" You finally escape from the noodly arms of Leech the Wild One. "Let me suit up and show you? I can be so sexy, you guys. Come on."

In answer to the confused silence, you took your keys out of your pocket and chucked them at Deuce's confused face. "Adeuce! Grim! It's on the vanity in my room!"

"But ghosts?"

"Say you're clearing out things so that we won't bother... No, actually just go the balcony way."

"You can't unlock the balcony from the outside without a lockpick, it only locks from the inside."

A moment of silence. "Lilia, what the fuck?"

He shrugged. "I moved everything two inches to the left once to see if you noticed."

"I wasn't imagining things?!?"

This'll take a moment to sort out, and the clock is ticking...

~*~*~*~ You truly liked the woods! Green and quiet. Full of things that crawled and scurried, little friends that squeaked and croaked and hissed. The occasional precious treasure of a small bone or edible mushroom. So, you were quite surprised when you found Idia, miserable, crouched beside a fallen log.

"... Skipping gym?" Going by the uniform, the most likely answer. "Or did you finally realize that outside doesn't always bite?"

He scowled at you, and you stifled a giggle when you realized that yes, he was actually covered in bug bites. "They should replace this with a mall."

"You hate malls. Too many people." You reached out a hand, and pulled him to his feet. Idly, you wondered if he'd let you try and fit your hands around his waist, but thought better of asking.

"Game stores are alright. No one bothers you in one, or in arcades. And." He stopped, as he brushed the dirt from his legs, before continuing in a mumble you only got the gist of.

"Me and Ortho will be your big, scary guard dogs?"

"... Who'll notice me with both of you?"

"Everyone." Because he's the most beautiful person in the room, and they'd be mad not to look. "Because you show up so rarely. It makes it all the more noticeable when you are out, so everyone pays attention." You held out a hand. "I'll take you out the back way so you don't get in trouble."

No dice. He held his hands in close. "I'll just follow."

"Alright. Why'd you go out this far in the woods with no map, anyways?"

"There's no cell service..."

"Clearly, we need to turn your blood into a wi-fi signal, instead of liquid sugar."

He huffed, but he did follow you, and was actually approaching a good mood once you escorted him through the Ramshackle gates.

~*~*~*~ "Hey, what did I miss?" It took entirely too long to get a single lock of hair to to a perfect insouciant flip over your forehead, even with the eternally stylish Sam's help.

"She's slapped everyone who went to propose, and when she does you're paralyzed for 500 years."

"Christ," You say as you adjust a pin on your lapel. "We have to get Idia back, he'll get what? A week before he gets the hand."

"She's so fussy!" yelled Grim. "You have to sing and have a dog and she hates poison flowers."

"Clearly, she has no taste." Honestly,you thought her taste was just fine, what with thinking Idia was the finest of the bunch. He was very princely, if your tastes ran to exquisite corpses with the personality of a neurotic goblin. "Who wouldn't want poison blossoms?" Tie? No tie? Tie? No tie? No tie. And unbutton. Leona wishes he had this chest.

"We know she has no taste because she chose Idia."

You chose to ignore that, and clapped. "Okay, Round Two!"

~*~*~*~ The truest tragedy of this school was that it was all boys. Not that boys were bad by any means, you certainly enjoyed them, but... girls. Tall girls! Short girls! Busty girls! Petite girls! Butch girls! Femme girls! Fat girls! Girls!

So many kinds of girls, and you, in all of your plump and handsome glory, were the only girl in an entire high school. Welcome to hell.

You accepted no gifts that came unvetted. You had friends ward the everloving bajeezus out of your dorm room. Grim was more than happy to test your food and drink for tampering, but it was exhausting. You at least knew that any food you ate at the Mostro Lounge was clear, but that was only because everyone was too damn scared of the eternally hovering Floyd to try anything while there.

So, you eat a lot of vending machine snacks.

You've been standing there for fifteen minutes, trying to figure out the best combo with your limited funds, when someone coughed behind you.

"??? Oh, hey Idia." You stepped aside while he shuffled up to the glass and peered in. "Anything to recommend? I got this." You waved your bill in the air.

He only looked at you a moment before looking back at the machine. "That won't get you much."

"Ah, don't I know it. But it's all I got."

He still wasn't looking directly at you, but a smile started to creep across his face. "Get your bag."

"Wha-" He was already tapping out a beat with the keypad, blue sparks flying from his fingertips, the machine starting to groan and shiver. With a final note, the snack machine gave a final heaving shudder - and every single snack fell to the bottom of the machine.

He was so proud as he smiled at you, reaching down and pulling a single bag of gummies from the spilled mess. "You first."

And, as you stuffed your schoolbag and pockets full of thieved goods, praising his genius, his cleverness, his skills, he just glowed.

~*~*~*~ "I guess you were ahead of the game, Yuu. She hates that no one's dressed up properly. And..."

"And? You raised an eyebrow at Ace.

"You do look stylish. But you need backup."

"Of course. You'll all rescue people while I distract her!”

"But what if she slaps you?"

"You'll step in if that happens. But we have to dress you all up."

"Did you makes spares?"

"No." Tragic, everyone would look so cute in summerweight green wool. "Let's ask Sam, he's got everything."

~*~*~*~ "Okay, Ortho, you see?" You held his back to your chest, and raised your hand in front of his face, palm away from him. As you wiggled your fingers, you could see movement on the back of your hand. "Those are tendons. Those, and the muscles, are what move the bones, make your hands move. If you put your fingers here," you say as you place his fingertips over the moving lines, "you should be able to feel it."

"I do! They go up and down. What's the popping?"

"That's my faulty joints, we'll cover those another day. Now," you flipped your hand over, and moved his fingers to your wrist. "You feel that?"

"That is your pulse! It's not as string as it should be."

"I'm not always in the best of health. So, Ortho. My hand moves by muscles and tendons when I think of it. My blood moves through my body, one beat at a time, and you can feel it. Right?"

"Right."

"You," you say, as you take Ortho's other hand. "Your hand moves by motors and servos, when you think about it. Electricity and magic moves through your body, in beats so fast we can't perceive it, and it's as measurable as my pulse."

"... Because I am a robot."

"Because you are a bit different. But we're both alive, we're both real, just in different ways." You turn to look at Ortho directly, and he looks back at you with yellow eyes that are actual, real lamps. "Don't let anyone ever say you're not real, or alive, or good enough, just because you're different."

And though you can't see it, you can feel Idia smiling from the corner of his room.

~*~*~*~ Alright. No more time for memories, only the here and now. You've got a heart full of love, a pocket full of ring, and a head full of stupid. You're as prepared as anyone else who went in. Start on your left foot, and...

"Hello? Excuse me?" You make a cursory knock at the doorframe before stepping in. "I heard there was a wedding."

The bride - Eliza - whirled on you, and stopped. She was even more of a vision in person, airy translucence and fine, sweet features currently arranged in confusion. "Ah- Yes! I'm getting married to my darling Prince Idia! Right away, so-"

Not if I have my way about it, you thought to yourself as you arranged yourself in a perfect bow, one hand behind your back. You pretended not to notice Idia trussed up with rope, but you filed the sight away for later. "How wonderful. I wish you only happiness. But it must wait."

Before she could get her hand ready, you straightened and fixed her with your best smile. "My dearest princess, I cannot let this happen until I dance with the most beautiful person in this room. It would be improper to do so with a newlywed, and I cannot know peace until I dance. Would you be so kind, my fair princess?"

She was still baffled. "Aren't you a girl?"

You keyed up the brightness. "I am, and I dance very well. Would you indulge me, my dear?"

You could see her considering it. "You... are rather princely. Can you lead?"

"Of course. May I?" Again with the bow, and to your delight, she returned with a flawless curtsy. Hand in hand, you began.

~*~*~*~ It was delightful, to dance with this silly ghost girl. Everywhere your bodies touched, from her hand in yours to what would have been a fine chest, but was instead a clean and elegant ribcage festooned with pearls, heat seeped away and left only a chill as cold as clay. Her footwork was flawless, considering she no longer had feet, and she was so easy to chat with. She asked you about your dog (none currently, but you'd love to have one, and there was Grim in the meantime), your singing, (little voice to speak of, but that was what vocal coaches were for), and why you wanted to dance with her (because when would the chance ever come again? Unless fairest Eliza considered her for forever and a day.)

"But what of dear Idia?" She'd almost looked towards where Idia no longer was, having been unknotted long ago, but you drew her back in before she could notice the chaos around her.

" 'Dear Idia', though as beautiful as the moon in the sky, has cold feet, my love. He's afraid of dying. But I? I'd cherish you for all of eternity." You leaned in closer. "I am not afraid of dying, beloved. To journey with you through realms beyond mortal reach. I can think of nothing more exciting than to cross the barrier to the other side, hand in hand with you. In the words of a fine sir from my home, 'to die by your side/the pleasure, the privilege is mine'. Please, please consider me, please..."

Here's how it should have gone: She said yes, and you put the ring on her finger, and all was well. But you'd awakened such a sweet hunger in her, she could not wait for propriety. Instead, she grasped your face and kissed you with the passion of five hundred years search, found.

~*~*~*~ It was so pleasant at first, that you couldn't help but return it. When had anyone ever kissed you with such passion? But quickly, the chill began to overtake you. It could have been bearable, but after that was pain. You started to shake, uncontrollably, as every nerve in your body was scraped away with a rusty blade, and as you weakly tried to push away, as blood began to flow from your eyes, your mouth, every pore and orifice, she still would not let go. All you could think was it hurts it hurts it hurts hurts hurts hurts hurts and, as you slipped to a grey place beyond where pain could touch you, you barely noticed the cacophony around you, or something hurtling towards the two of you from the corner of your eye.

Something blue.

~*~*~*~ When you finally woke up, through a drugged and painful haze, you couldn't tell where you were. When you jolted up, the pain of it sending you into a nauseated fit of blood-flecked coughing, a familiar yelp sounded, and you turned to see Idia, little the worse for wear.

"You're up, uh..." He fumbled something onto the table, behind his back. "I."

You just looked. At him, at the surroundings. A hospital bed, with gifts and flowers (most filched from the wedding venue, but someone had stuck Jade's poison blossom into a vase and set it in the far corner). Idia was the only one present, seeing as it was the middle of the night.

"Ortho's getting things you might need. I... I hate hospital scenes..."

"Hurt's over.” You tried to settle yourself more comfortably, failing miserably. “Here comes the comfort." You reached out a hand, as he looked anywhere in the room but you.

"Idia." Silence.

"Idia." More silence.

"Shroud." He hesitantly placed his hand in yours, tinting pink as you pulled the sleeve up. The sight of it made you gasp. His fine wrist, so small even you could put your fingers around it, was mottled with deep bruising, blacks and purples set so deep into the skin that there was crusted blood on the surface, despite being unbroken. It was so, deeply, incredibly...

Beautiful. It was all you could do, not to press your lips to his wrist and taste his pulse as it flitted under his skin. To clean the blood away with your own tongue and cover the marks that your hungry ghost princess had made with your own teeth. Not hers. Yours.

Really, no wonder you'd been so enchanted with Eliza. You're cut of the same cloth.

"It must hurt."

He jerked his hand away, making you both wince. "What the hell is wrong with you? They only reason you're not dead is everyone pouring so much healing magic into you that it exhausted almost everyone. I." You could see flickers and flashes of orange sparking along the full length of his hair. "I'm not worth dying for. Why?"

What do you tell him? That it was the right thing to do? That you wanted to prove that you could woo a pretty girl? That you didn't want him dead? That you were a possessive bitch that couldn't stand the idea of someone else having him, even if unwilling on his part? All were true, but what do you say?

It proved a moot point, as when you opened your mouth to say something, anything, something shifted within you, and the only thing Idia received was a gout of blood square in his face.

~*~*~*~ After you'd slept, you reached for your phone in the thin morning light. Your friends where texting well wishes and condolences, and explanations of what happened after you went down (It seemed Idia had tackled Eliza clean off of you, and after some chaos she ran off with her retainer, rending this entire day moot). Even more interestingly, you found a text from an unknown number:

- I'm still mad at you.

You huffed to yourself, and after a bit of thought, start to text back.

- Dude I'm so sorry about the uh. blood puke. - I'll pay for cleaning - Also you know, you could have just asked for my number a long time ago? - Like a normal person? - Who doesn't break into phones to steal said numbers while I was unconscious next to you, what the fuck dude - That's not what this is about though. - You've got every right to be mad - That whole day was traumatizing, and you didn't deserve any of it - I'd rather sort this out in person but if text is easier for you right now we can do that - One last thing though

You stopped, and thought Do I actually do this? and went what the hell.

- I still need that dance I went in to get from you

#twisted wonderland #twst fic #twisted wonderland fanfiction #ghost wedding #my writing

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ourimpavidheroine · 4 years ago

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And here he is, guys, gals and nonbinary pals: His Majesty Hou-Ting LIV!

So listen, I can’t even begin to parse as to why I loved this smarmy, slangy, embarrassingly whiny little royal elbow leech. But I did. And then he rode in those badgermoles (a plot point that Bryan admitted he hated and didn’t want to do) and I was like I MUST WRITE ABOUT THIS LITTLE ASSHOLE.

I don’t know what to tell you. My brain is what it is.

Wu is so weird. He’s just weird. He’s 1000% clueless about normal life. He’s unimaginably rich - the Jeff Bezos of the Avatar world - and in Book 4 he has quite literally zero social skills.

After I had written Please Excuse My Penmanship Bryke came out and said they thought Wu was already in Republic City when the Earth Queen was assassinated, possibly going to boarding school or college. This never made much sense to me. I think it was one of those things they didn’t think through, they just put this very wealthy prince there in a hotel and didn’t worry about what got him there. (This was not the first time Bryke had done that.) I never bought that he was older; despite his sophisticated clothing and the fact that outside of Mako he’s on his own he screamed teenager to me. The Wu of Book 4 always seemed to me to be a kid who is trying very, very hard to act like what he thinks a sophisticated adult should be like. Which is why I put him at eighteen in Book 4. (I seem to be in the minority there, most other fanfic writers put him as older than Mako, even.)

It also never made any sense for me that this Crown Prince would speak as much slang as he did. I did a fair amount of research on Puyi, the last emperor of China (I saw the movie, The Last Emperor, when it came out in 1987 but I realize now it was a heavily whitewashed and historically inaccurate portrayal) and brought that into my Wu. True story: in 1921, when Puyi was fifteen, he had a telephone installed in the palace, under the mighty disapproval of his various advisors (and even his father). They didn’t want him having contact with the outside, modern world. Puyi was the emperor, however, so he got his own way in the end. And what did he do with this new phone, at first? He used it to make crank calls all around Beijing. Because he was the Emperor, yes, but also a fifteen year old boy. (A year or so later he used it to try and relocate imperial treasures outside of the palace for fear that he’d need an escape route outside of China, a fear that was absolutely justified.)

So I thought to myself, what would happen if you took an utterly and completely sheltered fifteen year old boy and threw him into the world, unsupervised? He’d cut off his queue, ditch his traditional clothing and start watching every single mover he could get his hands on, read every single cheap novel he could find, listen to every single sensational radio drama and base his personality on the heroes of those stories. And there he was, three years after being rescued out of the palace in Ba Sing Se, an eighteen year old refugee prince in Republic City, envisioning himself as one of the fictional heroes he was so fond of, halfway in love with his handsome bodyguard, in complete, terrified denial of the reality of what Kuvira is doing to his kingdom.

Making him younger also serves to make him less of an asshole. We can forgive an eighteen year old twirling his walking stick and calling Mako his big tough guy and pretending he’s actually interested in the ladies (never mind being somehow good with them) far more easily than we can forgive a twenty-three year old doing it. Eighteen year old Wu doing what he did in Book 4 makes him a kid still figuring out his own way. Twenty-three year old Wu doing it makes him a clueless, uncaring creep. Those five years makes a difference at that age, for sure.

I made him smart; I made him politically astute. I gave him the kind of education a Crown Prince would have received with regards to politics, culture, history, international relations, etc. (Boarding school my ASS.) I created a backstory for him and the Hou-Ting family that heavily relied on the actual history of Imperial China.

I had Huan tell him to knock off the slang because that shit was annoying and it needed to stop. You’re welcome.

He’s also ADHD as fuck. My Betareader says that reading his run-on sentences, heavily seasoned with obscure vocabulary, jumping from subject to subject is like listening to me speak. I do not deny this. I do not even try.

Is he still the guy that danced around Beyoncé-style at his truncated first coronation? Oh he is, he really is. Does he write himself that way in his diaries? Please. Of course not. Some of the fun of writing Wu is writing about him from other POVs; he’s the most unreliable narrator of ever. He’s vain, self-centered, prone to giving orders and expecting them to be obeyed (he’ll always be a King, let’s get this clear right now) but he’s also generous to a fault and, because he won’t have nannies (he’s afraid of having in-house staff because of the betrayal of his own personal staff when the palace was overrun) ends up doing the lion’s share of raising his four children, which does a lot to mature him and ground him in reality. He’s never going to be an average Joe, however. He’s never going to be normal. He’s an abdicated King. That does not equal normal in any universe, including ours.

Wu is a refugee. He lives in a country that is not his own. While he speaks the same language as those in Republic City, I’ve made sure to note that his accent/dialect are completely different. His culture and customs are different. His entire family is dead and the only person he has left from his childhood is the former Grand Secretariat Gun. (There’s another character I completely rewrote.) Wu is a profoundly lonely man, even in the middle of his noisy, loving family. He knows he is different; he’s aware that he will never really fit in, not really. As an immigrant myself, I know exactly how this feels and I have certainly brought that into his character.

Which leads us to this song, which to me is the ultimate Wu song. Retitle it “An Earth King in Republic City” and there you have it. (Not to mention I’m pretty sure Wu in his eighties would channel more than a little of Quentin Crisp.) This song has been his ever since I wrote Penmanship. He is the gentleman in this song.

I don't drink coffee I take tea my dear I like my toast done on one side And you can hear it in my accent when I talk I'm an Englishman in New York See me walking down Fifth Avenue A walking cane here at my side I take it everywhere I walk I'm an Englishman in New York I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien I'm an Englishman in New York I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien I'm an Englishman in New York If "Manners maketh man" as someone said Then he's the hero of the day It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile Be yourself no matter what they say I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien I'm an Englishman in New York I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien I'm an Englishman in New York Modesty, propriety can lead to notoriety You could end up as the only one Gentleness, sobriety are rare in this society At night a candle's brighter than the sun Takes more than combat gear to make a man Takes more than a license for a gun Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can A gentleman will walk but never run If "Manners maketh man" as someone said Then he's the hero of the day It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile Be yourself no matter what they say Be yourself no matter what they say Be yourself no matter what they say Be yourself no matter what they say Be yourself no matter what they say... I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien I'm an Englishman in New York I'm an alien, I'm a legal alien I'm an Englishman in New York

#character soundtrack #Wu

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