#fanfic authors please read the lyrics of a song before associating it with your fic I'm begging
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Just took psychic damage from a SK8 fic that referenced Motion Sickness by Phoebe Bridgers, except it WASN'T about Adam being a weirdo towards teenagers, it was a light angst Renga fic 😭
Like bestie you know what that song is really about right?? Right????
#yall you can't take a song about a groomer and attach it to a fic about a normal ship I'm wheezing /nm#it's not that serious but I was like WOAH#did we not hear the part that said “you were in a band when I was born�� ☠️#that's why I thought it was about Adam and his fuckass eyebrows#still can't stand that dude#fanfic authors please read the lyrics of a song before associating it with your fic I'm begging#tw grooming#grooming#grooming mention#motion sickness phoebe bridgers#sk8 the infinity#renga#reki x langa#fanfiction#fanfic#songfic#rambles#sk8 adam
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March and August
Anon, I LOVE these asks! Thank you!!
march: do you listen to music whilst writing?
and
august: are any of your fics associated with certain genres/artists/songs/etc?
Since both of these questions are somewhat similar, I’ll answer them both together. I DO listen to music when I write, quite frequently, actually. I love doing tasks to music, even reading, because it serves as a sort of buffer between my concentration and any other ambient noises that could distract me. And, of course, it helps me get into the mood.
I don’t often mention the music I listen to with the fic I post, because I prefer it if every reader got their own impressions of my fic without my influence. :) That said, I HAVE mentioned certain songs to go with some of my fics before. Here they are:
All is Violent All is Bright - God is an Astronaut for the fic All is Violent, All is Bright (a glorious post-rock instrumental piece that is perfect for the first Eruri fic I ever wrote)
Run The Jewels - Legend Has It (Instrumental) for the fic Power Play (badass instrumental hip-hop for my badass Gang AU MikaAnnie one-shot)
The Chairman’s Waltz - Memoirs of a Geisha Soundtrack for the fic An Act of Grace (the perfect song for the perfect Eruri waltz)
These are the songs I have actually mentioned in the Author’s Notes in these fics. Other than these songs, I actually have a few more I would LOVE to share with you guys, since they do get me into the mood to write! (also PLEASE GOOGLE THE LYRICS AND SUFFER WITH ME)
The End of the Dream (Synthesis) - Evanescence for the fic Stranger and all canon Eremika scenes in the manga right now. :( The lyrics are a punch in the gut, and I am convinced Amy Lee cannot be human with that glorious voice of hers.
Unintended - Muse for the Eruri fic Brink. I literally copy-pasted the lyrics of this song into my doc, so I could scroll back to read it and immerse myself in how perfectly they describe the tenderness of the Eruri dynamic from Erwin’s POV. It also sounds like a lullaby which is the exact Mood™ I was hoping to achieve with the fic goddamn.
Thanks again for this very fun ask, anon! Music is one of my biggest loves!
fanfic questions themed around time
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questions for ao3 writers
tagged by @meimagino, thank you dsgsfa !! <3 <3
Tagging: @kumikirin and @rayraywrites ! i don’t actually know a lot of ao3 writers SO PLEASE DO THIS AND TAG ME? <3 i’ve LOVED reading other people doing this tag and it’s so exciting to know more abt your stuff so please please if u use ao3 and wanna do this, please let me know! <3
1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?
my username is seaworn. i didn’t want my ao3 username to be the same as my tumblr url because my tumblr url is pretty much always associated with a certain fandom and i didn’t want that because i had a feeling that i’m going to write something for different fandoms. seaworn is a word i came across in one of nightwish’s lyrics, “sea-worn driftwood”. i just thought that was nice, and everything sea-related is really close to my heart.
2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)
fingers crossed my obsession with you is tameable has most hits, kudos and bookmarks, but my heart’s a stereo (it beats for you so listen close) has most subscriptions (because it’s an ongoing series).
3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?
it’s a picture of some random boy who i think looks a lot like my favourite trainwreck boy harry and i wanted it lmao
4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?
i get really warm and giddy if someone i know comments something on my fics because it means the world to me that my friends read my shit asdgdfs. but i also get warm and giddy and excited when i get any kinds of comments!! <3 i appreciate every single comment i get and i sometimes cry when i get an email notification about a comment someone left me asfsg <3 i notice a few “regulars” that always comment of my stories when i publish something new and i LOVE them and it means the world to me that someone has subscribed to me/checks out my page to see whether i’ve published smth new. but i ALSO love people who just leave kudos bc seeing that someone has actually read my stuff? amazing. i love every single one of you so much. i go through my comments and my kudos/hits whenever i’m feeling down/insecure and they give me so much confidence and make me feel better about everything
5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?
oh yeah, i have plenty!! i mean, i have over 500 bookmarks and i go through them a lot to read many of my old favourites. i’m going to list a few i could remember without actually browsing through my bookmarks! :) they’re mostly drarry because i’m super into that again. also i really wanna scream about all of these but i’m just gonna link them and let them speak for themselves sdgdfsg
Twingenuity by Caeseria. Viktuuri, explicit, 160k. summary: “Victor arrives in Hasetsu, completely unaware that Yuuri has an identical, overly affectionate, twin brother. The resulting temptation might actually kill him before he gets Yuuri to the GPF like he promised.”
Coffee, Cakes And Doorknob Snakes by Omi_Ohmy. drarry, explicit, 40k. summary: “Harry's house is trying to kill him, and only one person can help him: pity it's Draco Malfoy”
Eternally Consistent by kitsunealyc. drarry, explicit, 40k. summary: “Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter assumed they would never be anything but civil enemies, until Potter lands on Malfoy's doorstep, bleeding, covered in curses, and acting very strangely indeed.”
Reparations by Saras_Girl. drarry, explicit, 87k. summary: “Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.”
Winter Song by proantagonist. viktuuri, explicit, 149k. summary: “The set of Yuuri’s mouth softened into a private smile as Victor squeezed his knee beneath the table. His hands were bare, free from the gloves he so often wore when they were together on the rink, and the heat of his palm burned straight through the denim of Yuuri’s jeans. He slipped his own hand beneath the table and found Victor’s. Hidden from sight, their fingers began to flirt and play. A secret conversation all their own that needed no words.
Yuuri was aware that at some point—a moment in time he couldn’t quite place—Victor had become his boyfriend.
There wasn’t a single instant when it happened. It was a slow awareness, as if Victor had silently been asking the question for months now, and Yuuri had been giving him the answer a little more with each passing day.”
i’d love to link everything i like but aSFASD!! just believe me when i say that with 500 bookmarks and having lots of writer friends in tumblr, i read a LOT of the same fics over and over and over again. the ones i mentioned just now are all longer stories i fell in love with because it took me days and maybe even weeks to read them and it’s like i’d found a whole new universe?? you can def ask me for fic recs because all i do is read fics but i found it really hard to just pick a few so i decided to pick just a few longer ones for this question!! but ask me for my favourite coffee shop aus? do it. favourit otayuri fics? ya please. fav modern au captive prince fics? you really should.
6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?
i can’t see the number of my subscriptions anywhere? but i get maybe 3-10 email notifications every day about an updated work so i guess it’s a lot. i have a little over 500 bookmarks! :))
7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?
hmm, i maybe haven’t written enough to have, like, a special au i enjoy writing? but i DO think about coffee shop au’s and writing them a lot so i guess it’s that asfdsf. i just really really love coffee shops??
8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)
274 subscriptions and 704 bookmarks holy sHIT hey i love every single one of you??
9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)
i have a bunch of really, really sad and depressing headcanons i would love to write but i’m probably never gonna? like, lots of things about eating disorders and cutting and someone getting injured or cheated on, someone losing an important person or having to give up on their dreams, etc. lots of sad characters trying to be brave on their own and slowly fading away :’’)) i don’t want to write then because i haven’t come up with any good endings for those and i DON’T want to write stuff with no happy ending, so. i just really think i need to get out all kinds of crap rn and writing them would make me feel better but i think i’m too involved to actually write something worth reading? i fear that if i wrote smth i’ve headcanoned, it would end up being super immature and illogical. idk. my point it that i’m afraid to write really self-indulgent, depressing angst sadgsghdf
10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.
i would love to be a little more consistent in writing. my concentration is bad and often i can’t get into the flow when i’m working on something. usually i add something to a wip every few days, then one day i write 1000 words and then continue editing sentences here and there, jumping from scene to scene, deleting smth and then adding 57 words. like...i often feel like i can’t get into the scene i’m writing and it feels like i’m watching it on the outside instead of being the writer? whenever i can focus properly i get solid, consistent, meaningful writing done, but honestly 80% of me doing anything is messing around and i have to do A LOT of damage control before everything is finished?
this is related to what i just described but i’d also love to be able to write chronologically because i feel it makes the story and the journey more real when i’m actually working through what my characters are feeling/experiencing throughout the story? instead of writing an exciting plot thing A and an exciting plot thing number B and then later writing the boring parts inbetween.
i have a lot of problems with plots in general - i feel it’s easier for me to write 2 k about, like, yuuri making tea in the morning, than writing 2k about someone walking to the store and buying milk. i’m better at describing moments and feelings than concrete plot points or someone dojng something? idk.
11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?
popular ships. i mean, i might read rarepairs but i usually have one or two otp’s from each fandom i write about. i’d love to write about chrisabek one day though sgdfg.
12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?
18 ???? what how when has this happened?? . 13 of those are yoi and the rest either drarry or johnlock.
13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?
18 published works and about....25-30 unfinished things? some over 10k words, some less than 500. also but i wrote A LOT of original shit when i was like 16-18 so if i count those in the number would be about 100 probably
14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?
i write them down potential ideas, but i have a lot of headcanons i don’t write down because i don’t think i have the ability to write them. but most of my ideas go to google docs/notes.
15. Have you ever co-authored a story?
yeah, i actually have one wip going on with someone :) it’s unfinished but maybe we’ll finish it one day? it’s drarry and super sweet.
16. How did you discover AO3?
i really can’t remember? i wish i could? but it probably in 2012 when i got into the sherlock fandom.
17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?
i don’t think so omg, but i’m really glad people read my stuff! but i’m definitely more known in the yoi fandom than the others i’m in bc my drarry/johnlock fics get like 5 comments, max, whereas i can get 20 comments to my yuri on ice stuff! :) it’s really nice that people read my stuff fhdh
18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?
omfg no but everyone who reads my stuff is an actual Angel
19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?
yeah, a lot! a lot of original fiction authors & a lot of fanfiction authors! whenever i read a good text i’m like “wow, this is awesome, i wish i could write this well” and that always gives me a huge boost. the support of my friends is really encouraging and inspiring, too.
20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?
the “i will be a stronger writer after i finish this piece” is REALLY good advice, because...not everything you write will be the best you’ve done and you maybe feel like your writing has some flaws or something. but you know what? even if it’s not perfect, you’re a lot more experienced writer when you’ve done it. i do the “it’s gonna be shit anyway so i’m not gonna write it” thing quite often but then i have to remind myself that every single word i write gets me closer to being better, so i plunder through. and when i get finished with something, i usually think “well, this is not my strongest work but i’m glad i did it” and!!!! that’s really it!! i took part in otayuri reverse bang this spring and god i wanted to give up so so many times and i wrote lots of plots for it because i didn’t like ANYTHING i did. but i got through it, and while i think that the two stories i did for it are the worst i’ve written, it’s still 18 000 words more than i would have written if i hadn’t participated :) be your own biggest supporter & give yourself time to practise & be super proud and happy about what you’ve achieved so far!! <3 you wrote 10 words today? THAT’S 10 WORDS MORE THAN IT WAS BEFORE. you had a huge writer’s block so instead of writing you just wrote down some plot point you wanna write later? YOU PLANNED SOMETHING. you couldn’t even plan, you just opened your computer and gave up? YOU TRIED AND RESPECTED YOUR LIMITS TODAY AND THAT’S AMAZING.
21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?
i usually plan big plot points but figure everything else out as i go? planning in actually one of my weaknesses and instead of making a plan and sticking to it, i just wait for inspiration and get as much done as i can before it goes away, lol.
22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?
not really :) everyone has been really sweet to me.
23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)
action scenes are pretty hard? i think i’m better at writing dialogue and feelings than action or something dramatic happening. i’m working on it and i would love to get more edge to my writing!
24. What story(s) are you working on now?
i’m finishing the last part of my heart’s a radio (it beats for you so listen close). the chapter is what i intended to write in the first place (yuri and otabek seeing each other at world’s and getting it on in a hotel room) but then i just....needed to have 14 000 words of stuff before it, apparently.
i’m also working on a drarry fic that has been in my drafts for a long time. it’s about 8k and i think it’s going to be 10-13k, and that’s fine. it’s all about margaritas and blowjobs and being hungover, basically. it’s really fun to write lol.
and then i have this captive prince smut one shot that’s also like half-done. it’s really fluffy and sappy but still just smut.
aaaaalso i’m trying to finish the next chapter for my viktuuri dog sitter au fic now my heart stumbles on things i don’t know ! i’ve been procrastinating because i don’t really have a plot for it planned yet.
25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?
i have too many ideas in my head constantly and that makes it reaally hard to focus on finishing something before jumping onto something else. that’s why i have tons of wips and no finished works, lmao.
26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?
not really. sometimes i try to push myself by setting goals, but in the end it really stresses me out because i’m usually away from home at least 9 hours every day and my work is really physical and tiring so asfsgas i really don’t have the strength to write every day. now my goal is to finish three fics before the year ends. they’re all oneshots that are maybe 80% done, so i should be able to do it.
27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?
i hope so but i really don’t know??
28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?
hmm. it’se been really fun writing i am to see to it that i do not lose you series because i’ve gotten a LOT of positive feedback along the way! and i’m not done with the series - i have a chrisviktuuri smut oneshot planned in this universe, happening at the same time when yuri’s figuring out how to date™. it was the first part of the series that made me think that maybe people actually enjoy my stuff & that encouraged me to write more!
I also really liked writing a oneshot i hust posted yesterday - listen how, under the breastbone, the rhythm changes . i wrote my first yuri on ice fic about a year ago and i just really wanted to return to that moment and write smth sweet about viktor and yuuri. the story has no plot or anything, but it felt REALLY good to write bc i sort of want and need a lot of soft things right now!
also i’m having SO MUCH FUN with the drarry fic i haven’t posted yet, omg.
29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?
hmm. probably cautiously peering, absorbing, translating hey eve stop with the pretentious fic names because it was basically my first multichapter fic and i feel like it fell apart a little? i had to write it in less than a month bc it was part of otayuri reversebang. i felt like the idea was good and that it didn’t reach its full potential? i have very mixed feelings about this fic. i haven’t been able to read it even once after i published it bc i’m so afraid of what i’ll find lmao
30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?
hopefully my english is a lot better then, at least! i hope that i’ve started writing original fiction, really :)
31. What is the easiest thing about writing?
coming up with ideas!!! i don’t even use most of the ideas hat get in my head and i get lots of new ideas especially when i’m at work, out doing shopping, basically doing anything active?? but writing everything down, especially ideas you know will get 20-30k long once you start...damn.
32. What is the hardest thing about writing?
managing long stories? i haven’t written very many longer (like, over 10k?) stories and dgsgsg it’s just hard to make the plot interesting with lots of interesting cliffhangers, sad parts, etc? it’s hard to balance everything.
and yeah writing just in general is hard because it’s at least 80% writer’s block but having ideas flood your head and making it hard to focus on real life sfsg
33. Why do you write?
to express myself, i think? i still haven’t learn how to process my more uglier emotions through writing (it would be really helpful if i could) but i’m definitely writing about the kind of things i miss and would like to have for myself - someone being really happy, having lots of quiet mornings, being loved, maybe being a trainwreck but having something to cope through it, having a special connection with someone. idk. all kinds of things.
writing is fun and actually writing down the fics you’d want to read is super duper cool. i don’t get very much done in my life otherwise, so writing gives me the feeling of accomplishment i’m not getting anywhere else.
i’m not very good at expressing myself so writing definitely helps with that, too.
#tagged#personal#writing#phew i promise to dial down with the fic names sdagsdhsag#i feel super shy posting this
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fanfic author meme
my friend tagged me to answer all the questions in a fanfic author meme, and it is primarily for the Final Fantasy XIII fandom, so it’s located under a read more. :)
Fanfic Ask Meme
A: How did you come up with the title to [fic of your choice]?
Most of my fic names come from lyrics in songs that have to do with the story content, no matter how vague. Poetry also makes its way in there, and on the very rare occasion, something I come up with that sounds pleasantly appropriate.
A Series of Firsts was the only one in the past five or so years to get a title that accurately and simply described the story, something which I typically never do.
B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?
No, actually. I write primarily angst and I have a very satisfying and healthy life, so… it all just comes out from somewhere? I am not entirely sure where.
C: What character do you identify with most?
Most recently, maybe Makoto from Persona 5? Growing up I felt that I had all these expectations on me from my family and the adults in my education (which I totally dug myself into by being smart and eager to please) and I always wanted to just say “fuck it” and stop caring about pleasing others and being the perfect student. Which took me until my third year in university to actually achieve but hey, better late than never.
D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with cause I’m a vampire smile (you’ll meet a sticky end)?
The title comes directly from the song ‘Vampire Smile’ by Kyla La Grange and it entirely fits so well for that fic. I definitely had it on replay the entire time I was writing.
E: If you wrote a sequel to Serendipity, what would it be about?
EDITED because I wrote for A Series of Firsts instead oops.
Serendipity would have a much shorter sequel - just lots of the gang being happy, of Fang and Vanille traipsing around the world, Yeul living in a big city and being amazed by all of it, Serah and Snow in a small French village with rose bushes and a kid or two and Light living in the same village with Hope being the Cool Aunt. Snow would have a motorcycle (and try to modify it to have a baby seat). Sazh would have a farm with chickens and livestock and live with his son and finally get the life he deserves. Maybe he runs into the reborn version of his wife and she remembers him. And live happily ever after.
F: Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?
I don’t have one :( I even went through my favorites on both FFnet and AO3. I just like anything that makes me cry, and I cry easily, and sad fics make me happy.
G: Care to share a favorite crack fic?
I rarely read crack but an amazing one I’ve been reading is Sincerely, Me by Ignis_Sassentia and SharkbaitHooHaHa on AO3. It is a FF15 texting fic and just phenomenal.
H: How would you describe your style?
Lots of run on sentences and disjointed narration. I prefer writing drabbles because I feel like that format lets me get away with using the style better. I like using metaphors and a good balance between simple and more flowery language.
I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?
Angst. All the angst. Also, if a fandom has some sort of divine figure in it, then you can bet it’s gonna be worked into my fics – usually as either a passive or active antagonist. This is a big reason why I still love writing for FF13 so much, because thank you, Bhunivelze. And Etro. Mwyn too. I need to write more Mwyn.
J: Write or describe an alternative ending to any Bhunivelze!Hope and Etro!Light fic.
I said to the sun, tell me about the big bang is my favourite out of the few (two?) I’ve written where both take after the divinity. Alternate ending to that one would be, their friends catch on and end them before they can succeed in destroying and recreating the world.
For just Bhuni!Hope, of which I wrote more, eve as my latest one – I considered Light actually realizing what’s happening within the fic itself and being the one to kill him. She would realize this in the midst of a relationship Bhuni!Hope has succeeded in constructing with her, and there would be lots of tears, and horror, and the symbolic knife stuck in Hope’s torso.
Gosh, I just can’t give you guys happy things, can I?
K: What's the angstiest idea you've ever come up with?
The premise in A Series of Firsts, where Hope and Snow have to come to terms with failing the world, and Light dying and becoming the Goddess, and then having to witness Light and Serah as children and then take them in, and do all in their power to prevent Orphan, and having them be family and Hope has a child with Light and then… they fail. And have to start all over again.
I’ve always appreciated time loops.
L: What's the weirdest AU you've ever come up with?
I discussed an idea with RainbowSerenity about a texting crack fic in the new world about the gang placing bets on how long it will take for Light and Hope to get together, and just being little shits in general (with a very liberal use of emoticons) and then Light and Hope are just there, like… should we tell them? When do you think they’ll realize we’ve been together for months now?
Also, an appearance by Bhunivelze via repeated friend requests to Light’s Facebook through a multitude of accounts. The sentence “how the hell does he have service in the deep ass of space!?” is written down in my phone.
I have to be in a very specific mood to write something of this sort, haha.
M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?
The AU fic above. Hope finding the temple with Light’s statue in 13-2, and ritually visiting it before it becomes inaccessible. Also, a fic I will shortly be releasing on – once again – Bhuni!Hope.
Outside of the 13 fandom, I have further ideas for my 14 OCs and how they meet, fall in love, and then go their own ways. An idea for an original fantasy story I’ve been sitting on (I have the entire plot written out, too…).
N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?
If someone could read my mind and finish that one FF8 fic I started in 2007 and never finished, despite rewriting like three times, it would be a miracle. The OC I created for it has grown alongside me all this time and I treasure her deeply, even though her story will never be properly finished.
O: How do you begin a story--with the plot, or the characters?
I usually start with a plot idea I want to write about and then the characters usually write themselves.
P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an "architect" or a "gardener"? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)
The way I write my oneshots, the most planning I ever do is I have the final sentence in mind and then I have to write to get to that point. When I write (wrote) multi-chaptered stories, I typically had the plot mapped out and sometimes things would just write themselves in the process.
Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?
That FF8 fic. I don’t even want to talk about it, haha. Also a Narnia fic I was writing and had like, two sequels planned for. I am just horrible at finishing things.
R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?
Not really? I always write however and whatever I want. I really admire attica on FFnet, though – their writing takes me breath away.
Also Sylvia Plath and E.E Cummings make my heart skip a beat.
S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?
Bhuni!Hope, and Etro!Light. As has been made obvious.
T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?
Whenever Snow is being written as useless or dumb. That’s my biggest one.
U: A pairing you might like to write for, but haven't tried yet.
…Light and Snow, very brief in the original 13. I actually had something written down when the game first came out, but never properly wrote it.
Don’t kill me. It would be very sad where they share their angst over Serah and then realize what they’re doing and part ways.
V: A secondary (or underrated) character you want to see more of in fic?
Yeul. YEEUUULLL. I love Yeul. So much.
W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?
Specific ones.
X: A character you enjoy making suffer.
All of them. Primarily, Light, Hope, and Yeul.
Y: A character you want to protect.
All of them. From me.
Z: Major character death--do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can't tolerate?
I love reading it if it’s written well, and I’ve never written specifics just background plot. There aren’t any deaths I can’t tolerate, because if done well, it can throw things into a nice twist.
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How do you get the inspiration to begin a story, and how do you get the motivation to complete it?
Um, apologies in advance, but this got long. Peer beneath the cut if you want.
Good morning, Nonny. :) Thank you for the ask.
How do I get the inspiration to begin a story?
My inspiration for starting any story is tangled up in the reasons why I write:
1. I write because it’s fun. I enjoy it. It rarely feels easy, but I love, love, love words, and playing with them is just plain pleasurable. The rhythms of certain sentences, a unique snippet of description, a snatch of dialogue that sounds just right… GAH. I love words and writing :)
One of the most recent fics I wrote, some words build houses in your throat, grew out of three things:
a. A poem by Nayyirah Waheed. When I decide I’m going to write, I often read somebody else’s work before I try to put down some of my own words. Reminding myself how words can look helps me.
b. A Tony Stark Bingo square for “missing scene” that I wanted to fill.
c. An anonymous prompt that requested SteveTony + confession.
Anyway, I looked at all that stuff. So when I started that story, I knew I wanted to write Avengers fanfic that related to those three things, but I had no specific plot or dialogue or destination in mind. Then I reread that poem, and because brains are funny and like to make all kinds of associations when given just a bit of input or stimulation, I started thinking about Avengers: Endgame and things Tony might have wanted or needed to confess but didn’t actually confess in the movie. I knew pretty quickly what I wanted Tony to confess to Steve, but I didn’t want to start off with that. Then Natasha popped into my head, and I started thinking about her and Tony’s relationship. I put down some words and then put down some more before I realized where it was I was trying to go. Very little of what is actually in that story was stuff I consciously thought about until I started typing.
By the time I got to writing the part with Tony and Steve, I had decided that I wanted to address, in some tiny way, the fact that Steve’s Irish, and his parents emigrated from Ireland to the U.S. Also, my DH and I talk a fair amount about how blatantly racist the Trump administration’s policies are…Anyway, stories are like icebergs: you’ve got the actual text that you see on the surface, and you’ve got all the other research, subtext, and author-brain detritus that’s submerged in the (dark) water beneath. ;)
Brains like to make associations or react to things; give a brain some input in the form of a word prompt, dialogue prompt, a photograph, song lyrics, a melody, someone else’s fic or novel, a smell, or a random fact on the back of a cereal box, and that brain will travel somewhere. Not all those journeys will take you somewhere that ends up being a good story, of course. Not all my writing can be traced to a direct trigger, of course, but prompts and triggers definitely help my brain start going somewhere if I don’t already have a specific idea I’m working toward. If you want suggestions for prompt sites, books, and so on, just let me know. Happy to share.
Asking “What if?” also helps. What if this character made one different choice? What if this character said this instead of that? What if this character lived instead of died?
2. From Maria Taylor’s “Time Lapse Lifeline,” which is a great song:
“Oh we dreamed a life
It was just like that, was just like that
And just like that, and just like that it’s done”
From the moment we take our first breaths, we are dying. None of us will make it out of this alive. I say this not to be morbid but because it’s true. In 2018, I lost my father and brother in a span of less than five months. For months afterward, I couldn’t write. I wanted to, but I couldn’t. It was a terrible feeling. But I kept trying because I start to feel itchy and grouchy if I go too long without doing it. And yes, there have been huge chunks of time when I haven’t written much at all. But experience has taught me that writing helps keep me functional and mentally healthy. Different people process life in different ways. Some people talk a lot with friends or family. Some people draw. But we all do something with the things we see and experience. For me, some of that processing is done through writing.
So I write as an act of living because I am dying, and I don’t know when my time will be up.
3. More song lyrics for you because I’m annoying like that. From The Smashing Pumpkins’ “Bullet With Butterfly Wings”:
“The world is a vampire, sent to drain
…
Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage”Life is beautiful, but let’s face it, it’s also fucking hard, and while the systems we are parts of may differ depending on the country, etc., to some extent we are all rats in a cage or cogs in someone else’s machine. Oh, there are so many things we HAVE to do. The system(s) want us to sit down, shut up, go to school, work, pay taxes, sometimes raise kids, and so on.
Well, I do or have done many of those things, but I don’t want to shut up. The sheer act of writing, of creating anything, is both an act of hope and subversion.
So I write to rebel, just a little.
3. Western canon, at least, is filled with straight white men’s voices. My fic is just fic; it’s not Great Literature ™, but I’m not straight, I’m not white, and I’m not a man. Still, I want to take up space in the world, too, damn it. Writing is one way I do that.
How do I get the motivation to complete a story?
Well, I have tons of unfinished stories. Many of them I will finish, but there are a bunch that have been sitting there for years, incomplete, and will remain that way. :) The ones I’ve finished thus far I’ve finished through sheer force of will. That’s it. I made it like work: I not only want to finish this story, I have to. Also, I want to get better at writing, and the main way to get better at something is to do it over and over again. By “better,” I mean that I want to improve at writing stories that entertain myself and anyone else who happens to read them, and that also illustrate SOMETHING about what it means to be human.
(I have read more “how to write” books and articles than any sane person should read, and the main thing I’ve learned is that they keep me from actually writing.) So I tell myself that with every piece of writing I complete, I’m learning something, however small, even though every time I finish something, I’m convinced that I’ll never be able to write anything else—or at least anything else that’s “good.” The longer I go without writing, though, the harder it feels to restart, so I do my best not to stray for too long, or else I pay for it.
My personal solution? Less focus on writing “good” stories or poems and more focus on doing the work—just continuing to write—and trusting that in the process, the writing will improve, even if it’s not by much.
This video sums up what I mean, and it’s had a meaningful impact on my writing philosophy, hell on my life philosophy. Finished, not perfect.
The act of creating something, whether it’s a story or a painting, can bring up all kinds of anxiety. What works for me may not work for you, but it helps me a lot to acknowledge that I’m anxious but I’m going to keep pushing anyway. What’s my other choice? Stop writing and then later ask myself why I stopped? The years will pass and eventually I’ll be dead; why not accept the doubts and anxiety and take some risks in the meantime?I hope I haven’t overwhelmed you; I’ve tried to be honest and specific. If you want to chat some more, please send me another ask or DM me. I wish you luck with all your creative endeavors. If you want to make something, just BEGIN somewhere. Getting started is often the hardest part.
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