#fake lanceleot sucks

[an-entity-i-think]

Merlin & Gwen Bestfriends

"Uh.... no."

Arthur watches as Merlin's nose wrinkles in confusion before falling into complete confidence regardless of the fact that it's one of the most backwards, stupid responses he has ever given Arthur in their years of friendship.

Which is saying a lot.

Eye twitching, Arthur almost seething, "What the hell do you mean 'um no'," he ends mockingly.

Merlin rolls his eyes before looking back at him with an 'isn't this obvious?' kind of look.

"Gwen tells me everything. And by everything, I mean everything."

Arthur makes a face as if he's not sure what that entails and not sure if he wants to.

"I do the same of course. She knows things about me that you'd only dream about knowing-"

Arthur's face intensifies on what that means and if he wants to know what that means, and also if he should be upset by what that means, and also also by the fact he isn't upset by what that may mean and what that may mean.

Merlin gives him a brief look of pity and amusement, before continuing.

"I heard all the juicy details about Lancelot when they were almost a thing way back. And I've heard all the more juicy details about you."

Arthur's eye twitches. He pretends it isn't from a mix of embarrassment and wild curiosity.

Giving him a fonder, softer look, Merlin finishes with a smile, "I've also heard about how excited she was to marry you for hours into the night. Just last night in fact. So, no. I bet if you asked her right now, she's probably crying or something in immense guilt and will probably say something like 'I don't know what happened, Arthur, I was suddenly there and it was just suddenly happening and I'm so sorry'," Merlin ends in a mystically good impression of Guinevere.

Arthur stares blankly.

Merlin blinks and then looks at him deadpan, "Because she was obviously enchanted. Probably from the bracelet she's wearing that I've never seen before. Probably from the fake Lance that was 'suddenly' revived that doesn't act anything like him. And also you should probably trust your betrothed more instead of thinking the worst of her."

Arthur just blinks for a moment before scowling, "And why didn't you day something half an hour ago?"

Merlin rolls his eyes, "Because Agravaine was there. And as soon as I say something he would have been like 'No, Arthur. Don't you see your manservant is trying to manipulate you? Never trust anyone blah blah blah except me of course. I may have abandoned you for years and only shown up right when you were most vulnerable but trust me! Unlike the others who actually love you of course...'"

Again in a weirdly good impression,

Merlin huffs exasperated as he grabs the rest of the clothes, putting them into a laundry basket, as Arthur just looks at him with eyebrows slowly rising, "And then! You would have been such a prat and started prattling on about you can't trust Gwen even though you've been together for years and know full well that she loves you and would never cheat and- ugh did you seriously stuff your socks under the sofa padding? What's wrong with you?"

Arthur watches as Merlin pulls out a sock from the sofa that's been there for who knows how long in disgust before flinging it into the basket.

Merlin looks up at him and blinks, "Wait what was I talking about?"

Arthur gives him a head ruffle and pretends he doesn't miss the softness of Merlins hair immediately after and walks towards the door, "I'm going to talk to Guinevere now. Bye."

Merlin absently responds in similar and the last thing Arthur sees before closing the door is his manservants face in disgust once again as he finds the other sock.

Well. Maybe he should talk to Guinevere first, after all. And maybe talk to her about some other things, too.