#faithfullychancing

[faithfullychancing]

Day 2,341: Olives

"The contrast is nice? Because I'm olive colored?"

Him: Hmm?? What kind of olives are you eating? You're brown. IF ANYTHING, you're bean sprout colored and I'M a refried bean color.

"Oh, the irony."

[lavender-things]

Day 962: Memories, good and bad...

Firstly, why am I like this? Why do I find good memories and remember the bad? This image by Picolo did it.

The hurt in The Sun's eyes and the serenity in Icarus' reminds me of times of hurt and anguish, but brings me back to times with laughter and joy.

Is it because of the days that I'd wished I could've held him? When he was at his darkest hour, I wished to hold him tight and have him feel the serenity in my embrace.

The question in the drawings always throws me back into my memories from when times were difficult between he and I. Times where he had to trudge lightly with each other for fear of being caught facing at each other for too long, holding each other too long, keeping a conversation for too long and going in too deeply to recover.

We didn't want anyone to know. We wanted to hide from the world, but we could not keep it in.

[faithfullychancing]

Day 2,812: Trial & Error Talks

I'm not the easiest person to speak to. I can go from being rude, angry, and yelling to sad, sensitive and crying in moments.

Biggest "emotional gangster" ever. (Going to therapy to heal that, though.)

Tonight, he told me how it was. He chose his words carefully, making sure each one landed in a way I would be able to both hear and understand.

And I did. I understood.

And I thanked him.

And I praised him.

"You've grown so much."

"Thank you. Trust me, I know when I miss. I airball when I miss."

Great the improvements made on how he--how we--speak from about 2,800 days ago.

[faithfullychancing]

Day 2,746: Mid-Feb Reflection

Two weeks until his first fight of the--this--year.

One morning (afternoon?) after a hangout with a group of friends from the night before. Mostly strangers to the both of us. (We were only their for one set of friends.)

Him, a bit grumpy--from lack of caffeine--but still full of love. Me, walking into the coffee shop, whole-heartedly laughing. Not caring about the people watching, turning their heads, giving concerning looks; just laughing.

Laughing because I love how he knows me more than I know myself, because I genuinely love him, because I love laughing with him, and because he's always made me feel safe.

Sitting with our coffee & tea order in the café, waiting for him to get back from a trip to the lavatory; reflecting.

I'm constantly chancing my life with this person. Believing that these chances will lead up to the rest of our lives together.

There's nothing else I can do, but love and trust him to do the same.

[faithfullychancing]

Day 1,574: Tricky Car Dinner

Normal day—whatever constitutes as normal during the times of a pandemic—where, as the day went on, he suggested we fast that evening.

Not odd for us to fast—we fast regularly on out own—but odd to mention fasting together on that specific day.

He called me after his training. We talked about our days as usual, staying on the phone through silent pockets if there were any.

He then asked if I was hungry.

"Kind of, yeah?" I was trying to figure out if there was anything for me to eat.

"Good. Bring a tray, I'm outside."

I smiled, and almost squealed.

How could I not? It had been so long since being able to see him because of the pandemic.

We enjoyed a beef larp dinner in his car talking about our days and random events before he had to head back home again.

I love his surprises.

[faithfullychancing]

Day 1,430: Reading and Phone Calls

He finished his book today. He was proud of himself, and I was very proud of him.

"I'm so grateful to have someone like you in my life I would never have thought I could get into reading."

I would have finished my book today too, but I took a nap to ease the headache I had.

Currently on the phone I'm reading and listening to him watching a movie...

Him: What doing?

Me: Reading.

Him: Can I still stay on the phone with you?

Me: Yeeesssss.

Him: Okie.

[faithfullychancing]

Day 2,220: Memories - Fireworks

I'm reading and was reminded of the time we were at my old Grad School house.

It was late at night during the beginnings of the global pandemic. Each person in the house soundly sleeping. He was sleeping soundly next to me.

A not-so-distant whistle.

We both stir.

Loud BANGS go off in the middle of the street.

I wake in a panic and immediately reach to pull back the tapestry-for-curtains.

The room ignites with red and gold shadows.

Your first instinct was to grab me and cover my head.

No hesitation. No thought. Only the instinctive reaction to keep me safe, even on the second story and corner parking lot away from where the surprise fireworks were set off.

I love you for that. And more.

[faithfullychancing]

Day 2,158: Sleepy Mornings

I am not doing too well. Nothing crazy, just a small stomach bug, but it has hindered our Sunday morning swim routine.

Nonetheless, he's here. Sleepy-headed after taking my sibling out for an early morning driving lesson. But here, cuddled up next to me, using my Grogu squishmallow as his pillow.

Simple memories like these make me happy. ✨️

[faithfullychancing]

Day 2,109: Sunday Active Recovery

Having full weekends is nothing new to us. Sometimes too full to be with one another. We spend more time apart, but we know it's not going to stay like this forever; just for a little while longer.

Morning swims at the gym--he's training for fight two--for active recovery, boba runs, homemade Laobodian food, movies & shows, and afternoon cuddles while making out first reel. (Yes, we are BOTH out of touch with the tech in that department.)

I got him hooked on my guilty pleasure show--the show that kept me company while I slipped into a depressive state during our second year of college--which he genuinely enjoyed watching with me.

Another show to watch together.

[faithfullychancing]

Day 682: Twitter vs. Us

Today I saw a post of a girl walking into her room with flower petals on the floors leading to her bed, a bottle of wine on the vanity, all illuminated with candles on the floor also leading to the bed.

Today, I couldn't help but remember the night before my birthday, not the night of my birthday because he was too excited to show me and we wouldn't have had time the following day because of my class schedule that quarter, when my Novio did the same thing.

I walked in the dark room and there were candles in the floor of his room, leading to his bed, (some on the bed too and while that was dangerous in every way, it all turned out fine), along with a bouquet of flowers. Instead of wine, he left the room and came back with a cake in the shape of a burger where he placed three candles on the top. I couldn't help but cry because in that moment, like others, he made me feel like I mattered wholly to him in a way that I had never known. ♡

[faithfullychancing]

Day 1,566: Dream Links

For someone who doesn't usually remember their dreams, he called me this morning telling me he had a weird one. I let him know I also had a weird dream.

We came to find that the were similarities in our dreams:

me going (his) /being more (mine) blonde,

me being pulled in different directions from each other and toward other people,

him fighting others to get to me (his)/ him fighting in the ring (mine),

and me being angry (his) /upset (mine).

Similar, yet different ways of dreaming of each other. And having similar themes? Very weird/interesting.

[faithfullychancing]

Day 1,558: Muay Thai & “I love you’s”

“No more spending. Just training and saving. You and me bb.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Have I ever told you how excited I am to marry you?”

How funny that I had been lounging on the same idea not too long ago. But, I genuinely had to think about it. “Not in those words specifically, I think(?).”

“Well, I’m telling you now, that I cannot wait to marry you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Since quarantine, and since the virus, he’s taken the bull by the horns and realized he will not be stopped again. He does not want to be stopped, so he’s taken up fighting. 

At first, this was a continuation from when we would practice together with my old housemates. Previously a hobby, it seemed to have been a while since he remembered why he started this in the first place; to fight in a tournament. 

Now, with him having grasped every style and form thrown at him--quite literally--his trainer said he was ready to fight in a tournament. He surged with excitement when given the more finite date on when he will be fighting in his future and was reminded of the future he wants with me.

[faithfullychancing]

Day 1,584: Jointed

Today, we officially opened up a joint bank account to start saving together. 💕

[faithfullychancing]

Day 1,524:

I love listening him flip through the pages as he reads.

[faithfullychancing]

Day 1,522:

"How'd you spend your most recent anniversary?"

He called me telling me he bought me oranges from a street vendor (which I love that he's always one to support the Latino/Chucano/Hispanic workers selling their items on the islands of streets or by freeway exits) and stopped by Jacks to get large fries to share (asking me if I wanted any before he snacked on them all).

Turns out, the oranges were flowers and we ended up playing "Plants Vs. Zombies," a game he's really good at because it was his previous breakup game which we were now able to enjoy, and beat, together. Doing so while snacking on dumplings and Hawaiian sweet bread.

[faithfullychancing]

Jenna: You can make it work. ...As long as you control your Aries.

Julien: 😬