#fairy!tubbo

[veyette]

@rat-rosemary 

DSMP Tinkerbell  fairies

Water : Eret - Tina - Boomer

Light : Sapnap (Spark) - Niki - Tommy (Flash) - Skeppy (Glitter)

Garden : BBH - Ponk - Hannah - Squidkid

Animal : Antfrost - (Ranboo) - Hbomb - Seapeekay

Tinker : Fundy - Tubbo - Awesamdude - FoolishG - Ph1lza (<-  Voltigeur)

Fast flying : Dream - (Ranboo) - Purpled - Connoreatspants

Story-telling : Wilbur - Schlatt - Quackity - Karl

Frost : George - Technoblade

Scouts : Punz - MichaelMcchill - Puffy (<->  pirate) - Eryn

Dust Keepers : Drista - Callahan - XD (King of fairies)

Others: Slimecicle (troll) - Prime (Mother Dove) - A strange red egg (The Egg)

 - o - o -

XD is the King of faeries, but no one put him there. He just is.

Their Mother Dove is named “Prime”. Drista is clearly her favorite, giving her plenty pixie dust and great abilities (no one surpasses her ability except XD whom she still likes to trick with Tommy’s help).

Ranboo has two talents (animal and fast flying) because he was born from a siamese baby (two souls, one body).

Puffy lost all her previous memory, only remembering the wrecked pirate ship where she awoke : she is now a scout for Dream Land. She doesn’t seem to want to learn more.

George can’t see Dream, one of his two best friends, because the cold would damage Dream’s wings (cfr Ph1lza’s case). Sapnap is able to keep himself warm enough to visit the frost fairy once : George awaits impatiently the authorization to go to Dream Land’s Valley (as a frost fairy, he must prove he won’t kill any plants or animals with his power). For now, the two fairies communicates through letters that they sent as paper plane across the border.

Dream is a bragging fast-flying fairy. He is one of the few fairies able to get rid of lizards, growing used to this frightening species that keeps taking him for some yummy supper. His best friend is Sapnap, the first light fairy who asked himself “what happens when sunbeams concentrate on one point” and burned down the light-talented fairies camp’s down. He has now quite the, deserved, arsonist reputation.

Tommy, a newer light fairy, would like to have such a cool talent too. Sadly, his only consists on changing the lights he emits. His pet peeve is making himself so blinding no one can look at him (plenty annoying for the other fairies and a very efficient weapon). Despite his behaviour, he is actually a sweetheart.

Wilbur is a talented story-telling fairy, all coming to listen to him. But he is also really famous for the “Moon light” case, where he tried to study the moon stone, entrusted to Ph1lza, with… unconventional ways. No one knows what really happened there but the whole house was blown-up and Ghostbur was born, a blue immaterial clone of the story-telling fairy.

Ph1lza’s case : one of the oldest fairy (rumors say he can rivalize XD). He is one of the most revered tinker-talented fairy, having built masses of housing (and some fairies would even claim cities)  across the world. He came from a different colony, ruled by a Queen fairy he calls “Mumza”. Sadly, he broke one of his wings while exploring winter land. His other one was saved by a young lost frost fairy he took under his surviving wing. Since then he is grounded in Dream Land. He tries to replicate his broken wing but the bird ones he created, thanks to friendly crows (who love his tinkering), can only help him fly short distance.

The frost fairy who saved Ph1lza’s life an other wing is none other than Techno. His abilities are actually deadly, frosting things to the bone with a simple intent. He hates them, seeing as they sometimes burst out of him and hurt (already killed) all closes to him. Technoblade works hard to become a tinker-talented fairy, inspired and helped by his best friend Ph1l, despite knowing he won’t ever change his true nature : he wants to at least change his reputation.

Tubbo, one of the newer fairies, has a terrible burn across his body due to contact with sub-zero ice. He refuses to elaborate on the causes. He likes bees and met Ranboo through them, the newer fairy trying to learn about his double talent : he heavily despises Shroud, a giant spider who Tommy claimed as his new pet when it invaded his house. Tommy definitely didn’t adopt Shroud because Tubbo met Ranboo through their love for animals.

Another lover of dangerous animals is Hbomb, who once went to Earth and fell in love with cats. He created his own cat cafe just to present the beautiful creature to his fairy companions. He doesn’t have the success he hopes for but Hbomb is not the type to give up ! He then created an help desk of “catmaid”, going to help people across Dream Land.

FoolishG is the actual architect of Dream Land, getting by this position a privileged bond with XD (which he loooves /s). He is a master at visualizing builds and created a whole new species (little totems he calls the doozers) to help him. Sadly, XD, Hbomb’s catmaid services and BBH new cactus plantation all collaborate to make his life a nightmare.

BBH and Antfrost are great friends. So when BBH discovers a mysterious red egg under the earth, it’s him that he calls. The egg intrigues both fairies because it seems to be both a true egg and a plant : maybe more fairies will be able to tell them ? BBH contacts Hannah and Ponk, both plants (flowers and fruits) specialists. Antfrost goes to find Puffy, who explored far and wide, and Punz.

Punz is a great scout, but he could have been a great shop tenant. Any kind of precious object can grant you his help. He especially loves gold things.

Skeppy is actually the one who found the egg, but he was way less interested in it than Bad. Nowadays, he loves cave exploring, where he disappears for days, searching for garnets and rubies.

Ponk used to care for a lemon tree even bigger than the Prime tree : but after several fire that burned it to the ground, he couldn’t bear it anymore. He went far away, on the border of Dream Land, to care for his new plants. He also specializes in medicine and treatments.

Despite thorns being often associated with roses, Hannah keeps her hidden away. The only great conflict she had with anyone was when Boomer, in a fool incident, crushed her garden with his frog and ripped her house for the flower stem. With XD’s help, he tried to make it right again.

Boomer lives in a swamp and he is proud of it. He is the fastest water fairy as he rides on his pet frog’s back : he must still be careful not to be taken for an insect by the other frogs.

Quackity owns his very own theater, a magnificent place which seems made by a light fairy. He even engaged a troll, called Slimecicle, to o the heavy work. The two seemed to have form a great friendship. The sun is deadly to Slimecicle though and Quackity is really careful when mornings come. (Purpled, not so much)

Purpled can go really high, supporting the lack of air and the change of pressure. It is rumored he can go to space, giving him “the alien” nickname.

Every fairy knows that Schlatt would do anything for some raspberry juice, especially if it comes from Quackity’s reserve.

Fundy loves to play tricks on people using his inventions, but would rather not assume the consequences : that’s why he always does them while wearing a fox’s mask.  The poor Seapeekay had some trouble over that confusion, many thinking the trickster was the game commentator.

Eret has the best fashion sense of all the valley. She also made a shell castle by the river side, with a permanent rainbow surrounding it.

Niki is solar. She warms people that comes near her, both metaphorically and literally. Her passion for pastries made her house one of the most visited of the valley. She doesn’t fear the cold and has a great friendship with Techno, Ph1lza and Ranboo, who she often see.

Karl is a strange case : he loves to go to the human world and is fascinated by all he sees there. He spends so much time going from one world to the other he often loss count of the days that pass an the strain that it puts on his fairies friends, who don’t know if he died, disappeared or just went away. He also forgets people change. His bubbly personality and large circle of friends easily make up for it though. Karl isn’t afraid of human, and currently love talking with Mr Beast, a “youtuber” who loves to show Karl to his “viewers”. Mr Beast always have great trinkets and fun games for Karl.

Callahan is the one making sure every fairy gets his dose of pixie dust, counting and grinding Prime’s feathers. He seems rather shy with people he doesn’t know, but his friends are aware he is simply silent, not calm.

Connoreatspants is the most lazy fast-flying fairy around. He is also the fastest. People often find him when they least expect him.

Squidkid is the infamous loser of the Great Potato War, a conflict instigated by Technoblade. The frost fairy managed to get more potatoes than the poor garden fairy, inflicting him an ego blow that will follow him ‘till the end.

If Tommy was a Tinker Bell fairy his name would be Silly Tumble and you can't convince me otherwise

[astatinu]

Everytime someone tries to assign traditional family roles to morning crew a fairy dies.

[qtubbo]

wait is sunny making a moon pool...oh baby

[giiyus]

q!tubbo is so tinkerbell coded

[phatcatphergus]

dr/m stans saying tubbo secretly loves him is wild considering he unfollowed him on almost every platform, liked neg tweets about d/team, and laughed at a tweet calling d/rm a predator on stream a couple weeks back 😭

It's so funny how badly they need people outside of their echo chamber to like him bc the amount of delusion you need to think Tubbo supports dream is crazy.

Like girl, yall need to go back to stalking indirects and jumping on anyone who says they like the amazing world of gumball instead of pulling validation out of thin air from streamers who do not gaf

[sadtrashking]

q!tubbo anatomy study

[nomsfaultau]

The Nymph

[totallynotagremlin]

So... i did a thing @atherix

This was the end resukt of your little sneak peak

I thinks its been like 3 or 4 days, idk

Midnight summers is by far my favorite part and im totally not avoiding cub with every bone in my body. Shush ill get to him

Maybe

I had fun, ill probabky do more of these

Also expect lots and updates soon ive got many big projects in mind

Im gonna go bookpress this for like 3 weeks now

[grimaussieart]

Day 13 of Fairyary:

Tubbo with the honeybee and marigold!

[royalarchivist]

Tubbo: Hey, guys. Just needed a minute.

Fit: Hey!

Sunny: left fatherless again.......

Tubbo: Hey man, look on the bright side – you could be Pepito.

Fit: [Reluctant laugh] Oh no... Oh no...

Pac: [Laughs] Oh my god... Don't say that out loud!

Tubbo: Hey, I say things as they are! [Sunny shakes her head] Why are you shaking your head like that?

Pac: [Continuing their conversation about the QSMP mod vote] If that's the case, I'm probably going still with Fairy Lights, but– oh, man, I wish so much that we got the vehicles, you know. It's gonna be so funny to see everyone driving around.

Sunny: Thats so mean pa :( don't talk about my pepito

Tubbo: I'm sorry! I'm sorry. I was just– I wasn't even saying it as a dig! I was saying it as a fact of the matter.

[lionheartedmusings]

today was all about love for soulfire, again. maybe not outright, maybe not in a way you can easily tell —

for pierre, it was about love that rips you apart and leaves you broken and bleeding out, the feeling of betrayal and heartbreak lingering in the air like something rotten. it's love lost, love that's never coming back because your trust was broken in a way that will never be forgotten. it's the ugly part of love we look away from, because no one likes seeing first-hand how sad it is when a wounded beast lashes out. it's love you can't get back, so you cling onto the one you still have.

for tubbo, it was the idealistic love you feel when reality hasn't crept up on you — it's desperate and passionate but oh so naive. it's loving without reservations and feeling like if you do the right thing, if you're good, it you love the way you're supposed to? well, then you can't lose. it's the constant optimism that love conquers all even in detriment of your own life — after all, what is life if love is gone? it's loving in the way everyone wishes to go back to one day, but never does because fairy tales are words on pages and grief makes bones weary.

for bad, it was orpheus and eurydice — the constant fear and paranoia, the hope of honor and promises kept but oh, oh what if she's not there anymore? it's carrying love in your every cell but being so afraid all the time, of men and gods, of fate and consequences. it's trembling hands and the knowledge that you can save some or fall into the abyss of unknown. it's the trolley paradox, it's love as a chokehold. it's turning at the very last second, and knowing you've ended something. it's love that persists, but always so fearful.

[evafhernee]

fit: y’know, I’m leaning towards both the vehicle and fairy lights mod, but pac, if you’re gonna pick fairy lights then I would too

tubbo: *retching/gagging noises*

[kayleighthekoala]

All the mods i know that are about to be added (updated)-

Let's go beach party

Artefacts

Let's go VINERY

Let's go bakery

Let's go candlelight

Let's Go meadows

CLUTTERED MOD

FAIRY lights

Ender cataclysm

NETHER'S EXOTICISM

Create: Confectionery

Mods mentioned by tubbo on his stream-

Biomes of plenty

Chocobos (☠️)

Terrallin

Born in chaos (updated)

(there are definitely some others so please tell if I missed any)

[sundewhasaudhd]

I'd love to hear your dsmp headcanons when you have the time!

YES

I have multiple notes on my Notes app for this moment

TW: mentions of suicide, mentions of starving oneself, mentions of self harm

Tommy: aroace, he/him, 17, 6’1”, AuDHD, anxiety, depression, PTSD, prosthetic leg. No voice claim yet. Very skinny and scrawny, like he would struggle to lift a gallon of milk. But also insanely fast. Demi god (through Kristen).

Tubbo: queer, trans ftm, he/bee, 18, 5’7”, AuDHD, dyslexia, PTSD, half blind. Voice claim: David from Hilda. Pretty buff, I’ve also been seeing I good amount of chubby c!Tubbo designs, so I might do that as well. Goat hybrid.

Ranboo: pan, enby, they/them+neos, 18, 8’5”, AuDHD, anxiety, depression, body dysphoria. Voice claim: Freckle from Lackadaisy. The most twink to ever twink, y’know, on account of being half enderman. Half enderman, half love god.

Wilbur: bi, he/him, 23, 6’6”, AuDHD, anxiety, depression, PTSD. Voice claim: Red Guy from DHMIS. Another twink. Doesn’t help that he barely eats most days (most of the time it’s just because of the ADHD, but he has tried to starve himself as an [unsuccessful] suicide attempt). Demi god (through Kristen).

Techno: aroace, he/him, 23, 6’3”, AuDHD, social anxiety, depression. Voice claim: Sun Wukong from LMK. Buff. That’s all I have to say. Piglin.

Phil: bi, polyamorous, he/him, immortal, 5’11”, damaged wings. Voice claim: Bandit from Bluey. Again, same as c!Techno. Buff. Human that was gifted immortality, pointy ears, crow wings, and stick antler thingys.

Jack: bi-curious, probably not cis, he/him, 19, 5’9”, AuDHD, probably physically disabled as well, I need to think about my c!Jack design some more. Voice claim: Gyro from DuckTales 2016. Cyborg.

Niki: bi, demigirl, she/they, 29, 5’6”, AuDHD, anxiety. Voice claim: Bubblegum from Adventure Time. Fat and buff. Half demon, half human.

Fundy: gay, trans ftm, he/him, 16, 6’3”, AuDHD, anxiety, dyslexia. Voice claim: Steven from Steven Universe Future. Half fox hybrid, half siren.

Eret: bi, polyamorous, genderfluid, any pronouns, immortal, 6’3”, AuDHD, dyslexia dyspraxia, depression. Voice claim: Aaravos from Dragon Prince. Pretty curvy. Semi god (child of a demi god, that demi god being Herobrine).

Foolish: pan, agender, he/they+neos, immortal, 7’8”. Voice claim: Raine from The Owl House. Buff. Demi god.

Charlie: aroace, agender, he/it, immortal, 5’9” AuDHD. No voice claim yet. CHONKY :D. Plus sized c!Charlie my beloved. Walking piece of goo Normal human.

Quackity: gay, ambiamorous, trans ftm, he/him, 21, 5’8”, depression, PTSD, half blind. Voice claim: Whizzer from Falsettos 2016. Duck hybrid.

Purpled: ace, polysexual, enby, they/he/star, 18, 5’8”. Voice claim: Louie from DuckTales 2016. Alien.

Punz: bi, agender, he/they, 25, 6’0”, ADHD. Voice claim: Zane from Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts. Gold hybrid.

Ponk: gay, transfem, genderfluid, any pronouns, she/he preference, 34, 5’7”, ADHD, prosthetic arm. Voice claim: Mikey from ROTTMNT. Half lemon fairy, half human.

Sam: omni, male preference, bigender, he/they, 35, 7’4”. Voice claim: Raph from ROTTMNT. Creeper hybrid.

Dream: unlabeled, he/they+neos, 23, 6’2”, ADHD. Voice claim: Macaque from LMK. “Powerless” god.

George: gay, transmasc, any pronouns, they/he preference, 24, 5’8”, autism. Voice claim: Philip from The Owl House. Half mushroom fairy, half human.

Sapnap: pan, ambiamorous, he/him, 21, 5’10”. Voice claim: Finn from Adventure Time. Pretty buff. Half demon, half human.

Karl: ace, polysexual, ambiamorous, he/swirl/pop, 21, 5’11”, AuDHD. Voice claim: Bow from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power reboot. Time noodle (idk wtf to call it).

Bad: bi, demisexual and romantic, he/they/it, 36, 9’6”. Voice claim: Moxxie from Helluva Boss. Demon.

Skeppy: gay, transmasc, demiboy, he/it, 34, 5’7”. Voice claim: Percy from Lightning Thief the Musical. Diamond hybrid.

Puffy: bi, transfem, any pronouns, she/her preference, 31, 6’9”, OCD, prosthetic leg. Voice claim: Annapantsu. Goat hybrid.

Hannah: lesbian, trans mtf, she/her, 22, 5’4”, damaged wings. Voice claim: Katara from ATLA. Rose fairy.

Aimsey: lesbian, enby, any pronouns, 20, 4’11”, AuDHD, uses a walking stick. Voice claim: Hilda from Hilda. Bunny hybrid.

Boomer: bi, trigender, he/they/she, 23, 5’9”, ADHD. Voice claim: Ed from The Owl House. Frog hybrid.

Connor: ace, gay, he/zap/blast, 22, 5’7”, autism. Voice claim: Sea Hawk from She-Ra and the Princesses of Power reboot. Time noodle (still don’t know what to call it).

Schlatt: gay, he/him, 36, 6’3”. Voice claim: Haymitch from The Hunger Games. Goat hybrid.

Michaelmcchill: bi, he/him, 33, 6’2”, autism. Voice claim: Jake from Adventure Time. Panther hybrid.

Eryn: bi, demiboy, he/they/sharp/it, 16, 5’10”, ADHD. Voice claim: Leo from ROTTMNT. Half demon, half human.

CPK: pan, genderfluid, he/they/she/it/swish, immortal, 6’4”. Voice claim: Terry from Dragon Prince. Kitsune.

Callahan: gay, he/him, immortal, 5’7”, mute. Voice claim: no one. He’s mute. Demi god.

Alyssa: lesbian, she/it, 24, 5’5”. Voice claim: Sasha from Amphibia. Some sort of hybrid, I haven’t decided yet.

Tina: bi, trans mtf, she/her, 23, 5’3”. Voice claim: Candy from Gravity Falls. Half demon, half human.

Antfrost: gay, he/him, 29, 5’7”. Voice claim: Adrien from Miraculous Ladybug. Cat hybrid.

Hbomb: gay, he/she, 17, 5’8”. Voice claim: Launchpad from DuckTales 2016. Cat hybrid.

Vikk: bi, he/him, 38, 5’8”. Voice claim: Mr. Boonchuy from Amphibia. Parrot hybrid.

Lazar: probably queer in some way, he/him, 63, 5’10”. Voice claim: Fergus McDuck from DuckTales 2016. Gingerbread man.

Miscellaneous headcanons:

Cuddling with Quackity helps Wilbur sleep.

Whenever Tommy or Wilbur think about death, they play with the white streak in their hair 

When Dream was little, he used to draw his smile (TM) on stuff to “claim it”. Like, toys and shit like that.

The Syndicate gave each other hair styling tips.

The reason Quackity always wears a beanie is to cover his ears. For trauma reasons.

Tommy’s cardigan is made of Friend’s wool.

Sometimes Fundy, Foolish, and Sam spend the night at Las Nevadas, so they all have their own rooms there.

When Purpled winks, he winks both eyes on one side.

Karl has a bunch of those goofy ahh socks with like, fruit on them. You know want I’m talking about.

Dream’s birth name is Clay but he changed once more people started arriving in the SMP.

Techno plays violin and is teaching Ranboo.

Dream’s walking speed is the same as the speed walking of everyone else.

Bee duo wears their rings on their horns because Tubbo’s ring finger is busted and they wanted to match.

Fundy calls Eret dad, but not Wilbur. (Rip)

Ranboo’s a soprano.

Aimsey’s hair turns white in the winter.

Burger duo have to keep an eye on each other when they use knifes at the van. For… reasons.

Peer pressure duo practice controlled breathing together.

Techno’s bruh is a vocal stim.

Little Fundy used to jokingly bow at Eret.

Techno has reading glasses.

Techno’s hair gets really tangly if he doesn’t brush it after a day.

Callahan uses ASL to communicate and Alyssa’s his translator.

All of the fandom songs are written by the characters.

Ghostbur put stickers on his guitar.

Tubbo played softball/baseball growing up.

When Dream was in prison, he tallied the days he was there in the shape of a smile.

Wilbur sings and plays guitar to help Tommy fall asleep.

Charlie cries “human bits”.

Bad became really against swearing after he adopted Sapnap.

Wilbur taught Quackity how to play guitar.

Sam just saw George and Quackity all alone on the street and just adopted them.

Dream wears contacts.

Purpled’s UFO crashed on Earth when he was a little, so they don’t really remember anything about his home planet .

Tommy watches Bluey.

Tommy mainly listens to audiobooks.

Aimsey draws on their arm.

Kristen gave Phil immortality so they could always be together, but that caused him to only have one live.

Puffy and Schlatt are half siblings.

Quackity has a Medusa tattoo .

Before Quackity gave everyone in Las Nevadas rooms, Purpled slept in the van with Wilbur.

Boomer watches MHA.

Dream got a spider web tattoo on his elbow after prison break.

Hannah watches Miraculous.

Jack made Tommy and Wilbur matching chats.

It doesn’t matter how much sleep he actually got, Wilbur looks tired no matter what.

Fundy listens to the High School Musical soundtrack.

Karl was/is in the WoF and Warrior Cats fandoms.

Tommy sings Welcome Home and My L’Manburg to himself to help him fell asleep and/or destress.

Niki taught Tommy how to sew after Exile.

Every time Jack loses a life, he becomes more cyborg.

Phil started growing his hair out after Techno died.

Wilbur is that one annoying ass person that sings happy birthday well (everyone knows you’re not supposed to sing happy birthday well).

Wilbur masked for most of his time on the SMP (especially during the elections and Pogtopia) and only really unmasked after the people he was really close with.

Dream has retractable fingernail claws because of his limited shapeshifting abilities.

Sally and Milo are besties.

That’s it. I hope you like em :3

[moltengoldveins]

hm yes emduo and bedrock bros and the eggs in Space. Phil is one of the last surviving members of a fragile but technically immortal species of elytrians that is now only whispered about in fairy tales. He’s a private investigator and enforcer (space pirate and muscle) for his beloved wife’s galaxy-wide uhhh….. Independent illegal group of people dedicated to protecting order and monitoring corruption? Gang of space pirates who steal from rich people? League of assassins but with morals? Unclear what the Syndicate Is Exactly but it sure do Be. He’s the pilot for the SBI Boreas, a light cruiser with a frankly Absurd munitions outfit. (Tubbo’s his mechanic) 

Techno is a member of the only recognized sentient deathworlder species, an odd mix of orc, elf, and pig features, and is by all accounts a living legend, or a living nightmare. He’s solidly twice the size of most other species, capable of surviving injuries what most would deem a death sentence, and a highly trained warrior to boot. Now, by all human accounts the texts of his people are pretty self-explanatory, (the Art of War is 89% Common Sense by volume) but in a galaxy of peaceful races on peaceful planets, it’s complex and brutal enough to be nigh-incomprehensible. He’s on a Lot of watchlists, but he’s also the like… platonic third partner in Phil and Madam Kristin, The Lady Of Death TM’s marriage??? So not a lot can be Done about him. 

Tommy is a younger avian teen (distant relation to the elytrians, definitely Not Immortal) who Techno found breaking into the Boreas and decided to keep (Phil took one look and his Dad Instincts kicked in) and his life is going swimmingly until he gets Yoinked for leverage against his dads and mum. The organization who gets him runs a blood sport colosseum, and while in transit his cage was stuck next to this weird hairless thing?? Chained with like Heavy Duty restraints. Tommy doesn’t have a ton of time to bond with this Strange Thing before the hostage negotiations happen, but they do manage to exchange names and Tommy decides with his classic impulsive passion that This Thing And He Are Brothers For Life Now. then the negotiations immediately go south, there’s a bit of a standoff, and Techno ends up trading himself for Tommy, which is what the organization wanted in the first place. They run a Reeeeally expensive exotic show for super Rich Jerks in an undisclosed location and Techno is their latest attraction. They’re also painfully cocky, and will be dying with extreme prejudice the moment Mumza gets her claws in them. 

So Techno gets Got and shoved in a high-security cell once they reach the colosseum, along with, surprise! This strange hairless creature with four limbs. It’s Chayanne, who is A Very Human Teenager who Did Not Want To Be Abducted By Aliens, Thank You. They’re both deathworlders, which Techno Does Not Realize until they get assigned to the same team a few weeks into the battles and watches Chay rip a bug man’s limbs off (Chay is Not having a good day. His dad (Missa) taught him self defense and was a martial artist, a butcher, and a rather morbid man, so some Relevant Knowledge and some general chillness around death is to be expected, but Not a chillness around KILLING PEOPLE FOR SPORT) Techno thinks this must be a fully grown adult whatever-it-is all the way until Chay breaks down crying and sounds Just Like a shoat (baby pig) and Techno feels the Dad Instinct rising again. 

Meanwhile, Halfway Across The Galaxy: the government has been developing space flight, but are really only at the borders of our solar system when they catch some aliens in the act of Yoinking another kid, this time from an orphanage (Tallula) they don’t manage to save her, but Holy Crap ALIENS???? Missa, who saw a bit of his son’s abduction but not enough to know exactly what happened, sees the news broadcast, puts two and two together and gets plot advancement. He starts pulling strings, asking about old connections in the space force (Cosmonaut Fit Emsi, godfather to Chayanne and Missa’s college best friend, may or may not be involved in the Turning Of Blind Eyes) and manages to get access to a hanger bay with a captured alien ship in it a few months after the incident in what might be the coolest heist sequence ever not-actually-written. (It’s very cool in my head, think Oceans 11 but the majority of the qsmp cast, trust me I swear.) He launches himself right into space and proceeds to systematically work his way through spaceport after waystation after colony planet in search of The Aliens Who Steal Human Kids (Specifically My Son) 

Techno is at this point playing the long game. He knows Kristin and Phil aren’t about to leave him hanging, and that they have enough firepower to burn this place to the ground, but he’s not sure when that’s gonna happen or how he’s gonna get Chay out. Meanwhile, Chay has No Idea what this strange Exceedingly Chill Pig Man has going on, but as far as he’s concerned, this is his life now. Forever. And making allies is important. They start trading languages and Techno starts teaching Chay katas (modified for the drastically different joint structure) in their free “big open space enrichment time.” (Side note: what aliens consider almost horrific cruel and unusual punishment is at worst severely unpleasant for humans. They just can’t take psychologically what humans can, so they kinda Have to treat their slaves better than we would. Doesn’t mean it’s good treatment, but it does mean Chay and Techno are both doing significantly better than they could be.)

Finally, Phil and Kristen rock up to the party incognito, dressed to the nines and attending a Big Event To Show Off Our New Deathworlders. They see Techno in the ring and have to Play It Cool, but he seems to be doing ok actually, so that’s good. Eventually the Head Honcho Man gets into a discussion with Phil right by the viewing window, so Phil has to pretend he’s fine when he sees a door open in the arena and A @:&;!ING HUMAN STEP OUT AND SQUARE OFF WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. (Shockingly, being immortal tends to inform you of such things like Secret Deathworlds and their Scary Inhabitants) Kristin is of course Immediately On The Move, but it turns out to be not necessary: Chay just kinda strolls up to Techno and gives him a side hug (bLEASE, you want me to fight my Roommate? Get out) and while Phil is laughing to himself, the Head Honcho gets maaaaad. He pulls it around though, announcing that he “already knew the two monsters had bonded the way only such vicious creatures could, and will be giving them a challenge only they could hope to face!!” And releases, like, four of the heccin Dune sand worms into the arena. Techno and Chay proceed to fight like demons while Phil and his squad take out the party and Kristen and her squad sweep the lower levels of the colosseum in an effort to keep More Worms out of the arena. Slavers die horribly. The end. 

Meanwhile, halfway across the galaxy: Missa returns!! Now with Even More Rage! His ship has broken down and because he ain’t got no Space Green Card, he’s got to get it repaired at a place that’ll take anyone. Enter Tubbo Underscore, Syndicate Member and Tinkerer Extraordinaire. Tubbo takes one look at this guy and goes “yeah that’s not a normal guy there’s something Wrong here” and through a series of pointed questions (and aggressive preening by Benson, a rather horrifying eldritch duck-dog thing the size of a small horse) Missa eventually explains why he’s in space. Tubbo, having just recently repaired Philza H Minecraft’s ship on its way to wipe out a gladiator ring, puts two and two together to make more plot, explains his Theory, and decides to accompany Missa, getting them into the next Syndicate raid on this organization. They, along with an undercover agent by the code name of Boo (It’s a word in Old Enderian that means ‘Eldritch’ or ‘Unknowable.’ Missa has to choke to keep from laughing) storm a freighter and rescue a bunch of valuable slaves and also!! Sunny and Tallulah! They have different first languages, Sunny was treated Significantly Cushier by the slavers than Lulah bc she was younger and viewed a bit more like a pet than a fighter, and they haven’t really spoken to one another before the rescue, so their rough start happens at this point. Cue Missa and Tubbo # Struggling to keep these two feral children from each others throats while they keep searching (‘Chay was literally never this bloodthirsty, the heck???’ -Missa, holding two backpack leashes apart while the girls are trying to strangle each other) 

Meanwhile on the Boreas: CHAY AND TOMMY REUNION POG???? Techno formally adopts Chay according to his culture (think Mandalorian, but to the left) and Chay has enough language to understand, but not enough to inquire about, yknow, whether Going Back To Earth is an option. As far as the Boreas crew know, it isn’t: Earth is a no-fly zone and Chay’s been out here for nearly a year and a half. They have no idea how they’d begin to get him home. 

Then finally, on a Syndicate-owned spaceport in the middle of nowhere, Missa finds the Boreas and sees his kid across a crowded bazaar. They hug, it’s super dramatic, very tearful, (Phil and Kristen are already planning his room on the ship: if they’re gonna coparent, they’re gonna do it Right) and after a bit of waffling, both Chay and Missa decide it’s for the best if they spend some time in space before heading back to earth, what with the whole “definitely stole a star fighter and wanted by the government, the entire world knows about aliens now” bit. There is fluff. There is cultural sharing. There is hair braiding. It’s amazing. 

Then comes my literal favorite space au trope Ever: a few days into the new and improved Boreas gang’s voyage, their ship is boarded by (shock, horror) a group of Human Pirates and the crew is Immediately captured. Turns out: it’s kinda hard to keep the existence of an entire galactic community from Everyone on Earth, and these are guys who, similar to Missa, yoinked a spaceship from their military and went rogue. (I’m putting Quackity here, cause I love charismatic villain Quackity and I think it works) they pirates are very VERY “humans are gonna expand to cover the universe” “might makes right” “come, join us, and together we can rule the galaxy” about it when they realiz Missa and Chay are aboard, and the Boreas crew honestly expects Missa and Chay to join them. They’re human! They speak the same language! They value the same things! Obviously they’re gonna take that way out, we wouldn’t even blame them! (Techno feels pretty betrayed but Phil/Kristen/Tommy just look resigned) Missa and Chay play along, pretend to hate their ‘alien captors,’ and arm themselves “to help them secure the ship.”

What follows is a rather emotionally charged but Very Very Cool sequence in which Missa and Chayanne use the skills they gained in their unfortunate struggles across the galaxy to Clean House, clearing their home the ship room by room until they’ve got a pile of bloodied and unconscious or dead humans and a very very shocked new family. There might be a bit more plot after this as the family settles, perhaps a sequel made of short stories, but this is generally the end.

The epilogue is five years later, when Fit Emsi, head of the new Intergalactic Human Intergalactic Relations Organization and Expansion Section (HIROES) has his monthly checkup call with Missa and Chay, who’re having a blast with Techno and Phil and Tommy traveling the universe. Fit calls them in to consult in cultural stuff during the negotiations with, yknow, the Actual Galactic Government, the one that views the Syndicate as a crime organization, but it’s pretty well known at this point that Mumza is In Charge Of Things on the Downlow, and Fit’s still Chay’s godfather for heavens sake: there’s simply nothing the government can Do about it. Tubbo has adopted Sunny and Chay took one look at Talulah and decided “Thats My Little Sister.” Phil apparently has had a crisis recently related to some kind of ancient evil ex long thought dead, but is on the road to recovery. Everyone lives happily ever after, the end. 

[nomsfaultau]

counter counter: Rhodes got got by the Hivemind corporate merger and is now part of whatever the hell Tubbos’ sexuality is. Queer by proxy.

wait maybe the reason I hate Lawrence Lethe so much is because he’s the one only who is straight in Fault