#fainted when I saw nayan

[shuknopadma]

Posters for Jawan (2023) releasing September 7th

[elveny]

Day 29 - Debonair

Thancred x Aisling | T-rated | Read on AO3

The return of the Warriors of Light from the floating Allagan island was wrapped in both triumph and despair.

Victory over Thordan and the Ascians came with heavy loss, too. The Azure Dragoon was gone, Lady Iceheart badly wounded in her attempt to grant them protection from the Garleans who had nearly overtaken them. It granted enough commotion to hide Aisling’s grief as she heard the news.

“Gone, both of them,” Nayan told them. “Igeyorhm and Lahabrea. Pretty sure that in all their might, they did not expect the Archbishop to use the Eye against them.”

“So it’s not like after the Praetorium?” Tataru asked, wringing her hands. “No danger of them just reappearing?”

“No,” Layanna assured them. “They have been consumed. Their souls had no opportunity to return to the rift. Neither of them will be back.”

Ash’s throat closed at the words, even though they did not surprise her. They had the ring of truth to it. Suddenly, she felt Layanna’s hand on her arm, pressing it reassuringly. Quickly, she swallowed, trying to hide just how affected she was, but in vain.

“He won’t be back,” Layanna told her softly, and Ash knew it was meant as a comfort, assuring her he would never touch her again. Little did her friend suspect her inner conflict about the man who had hurt and loved her so much.

Biting her lip, she just nodded, quickly looking down on her hands. In this moment, she had lost both — Lahabrea gone for good and Thancred still lost somewhere in the world — and the knowledge weighed heavily upon her heart, nearly choking her with unshed tears.

“A true victory over the Ascians for once.” Despite his words, Nayan’s voice was grim. “One sorely needed victory.”

“Mayhap I can lighten your hearts with yet more good news,” Urianger told them, stepping to the table. “Thanks to our friend Aisling, who hath been granted an insight through her Blessing, we may be able to locate Thancred.”

His words had an instantaneous effect, and people were calling and asking over each other. It took a moment until Ash and Urianger were able to explain the theory of the teleportation spell.

“I might know a way to read the traces of aether which would lead us to find where Y’shtola’s spell misplaced our debonair friend,” Urianger spoke, and gave Ash a rare smile.

She stared at him in disbelief, wild hope surging up in her and making her feel faint. “Truly?” she asked. “Are you sure?”

When she had told him in rather vague words about Thancred not actually being lost on the Lifestream, he had promised to look into a way to find him, but so far, nothing had come of it.

Urianger inclined his head. “Quite sure. I have contacted an old friend whose abilities are unique even among those who are blessed with the Echo. She would fain meet thee in Idyllshire and lend what aid she can.”

The next moment, he froze as Ash threw her arms around him and buried her face at his shoulder.

“Thank you,” she murmured, uncaring that her tears stained his robe as she cried in both grief and hope. “Thank you, thank you, thank you…”

It took a second before he realized she wouldn’t let go, then his arms came around her and held her a bit awkwardly.

“Do not worry, my lady,” Urianger murmured, patting her back. “We shan’t rest until we find him.”

It sounded like the sweetest promise ever made.

___

Still, it was only the beginning of a search that took longer than anticipated, and even through it all, events would not slow down. Ravana stirred again as they traveled through Dravania, so they rushed to lay him low, only to find strangers beat them to it.

Warriors of Darkness.

It had been a while since Ash had been in a true fight, and she saw the axe a moment too late, blood running over her face from a stray arrow grazing her and blinding her. She raised her staff, calling forth the elemental powers, but even as they sizzled on her fingertips, she knew it wouldn’t be enough. But just before it could hit her, a sharp zing cut through the air, and the Warrior of Darkness staggered back with a curse.

Daggers. Ash breathed heavily as her heart skipped a beat. She’d know that fighting style anywhere. Thancred’s daggers.

A second later, he landed in their midst as if he had never been gone, and she gasped as relief threatened to overwhelm her. He flashed her a quick smile before he turned back to the enemies, already brandishing more weapons. His hair had grown long over the last months, and was haphazardly drawn back into a braid, one eye covered with a dark bandage. He seemed leaner, every bit of softness gone from his body, all muscle and bones. Even at first glance, it was clear it hadn’t been easy months.

But all of that had to wait, and Ash let her aether swell and touch every of her companions, healing and strength whispering over them.

The fight was over soon after, their strange enemies gone nearly as quickly as they had appeared.

“We should go, now,” Y’shtola warned as the tittering of Gnath started to sound in their burrows.

“You’re right,” Nayan agreed, his eyes flickering around as he waved them off. “Go, quickly, I’ll cover the retreat.”

Ash could only nod, her eyes still glued to Thancred. He met her gaze and smiled again, the same roguish expression she knew so intimately - or at least it seemed so at first. Then she saw the hardness beneath, even at a glance. Still, he was at her side the next moment, steadying her before she could stagger.

“Allow me, my lady,” he said, and led her together with the others to safety.

There was laughter and relief, clasped shoulders and hugs, then Y’shtola said, “Suffice it to say, our reunion was not at all as I pictured it. Waiting until the last instant to join the fray. ‘Tis plain you have not lost your appetite for the dramatic.”

Thancred huffed a laugh. “My appetite for the dramatic?! Have you forgotten about the circumstances of our parting? The heroic last stand, the tunnel filling with light, and then…” He sighed and shook his head. He looked to Ash who stood close but hadn’t dared to do more than hug him close. His smile softened slightly before he turned back to Y’shtola. “Had I known you intended to use forbidden magicks to deliver me to some godsforsaken wilderness… I would have thanked you in advance.”

For a second, disbelieving silence hung in the air, then everyone started to laugh, clear relief to see his character seemingly unchanged from his ordeal. Ash’s chuckle was interrupted by him taking her hand, and she could feel the others pause, curious and indulging looks resting on them.

“It might not have been the reunion you picked for yourself, Y’shtola,” he said, but without looking at the Miqo’te. His eye rested on Ash who gave him a bright smile. She still couldn’t quite believe he was truly here, holding her hand, but his next words were enough to make her blush and assure her that he was indeed back. “But I couldn’t have set the stage better myself for a passionate reunion with her.”

And with that, he pulled her close and kissed her.

[kunstpause-archive]

FFXIV Write Prompt #25 - Wish

“These last few days were like a breath of fresh air,” Cassia says quietly. The wind blows around her in a soft breeze, gently pulling at some of the loose strands from her braid, making them flutter ever so slightly. “Bethany has started to climb everything she can reach, and I think Estinien and Adriene are making plans for her Dragoon training already.” A small laugh leaves her as she elaborates. “I swear I saw a tear of pride on Estinien’s face when he got Beth to jump off the couch table and onto the sofa. Of course, Nayan claims that she would be much more suited to become a warrior. Doesn’t get tired of reminding me every time Beth has a temper tantrum.”

She pauses for a moment, her mind filled with happy memories of the past few days. After all the war and fighting and worries for their friends, the small reprieve had been absolutely necessary. 

“Oh, and you should see Saran play hide and seek with her. The way she tries her absolute hardest to be bad at hiding so Bethany can find her quickly is the most adorable thing. And Lay has started to read her children’s books she found somewhere in Aymeric’s library. Most of them are terrifyingly grim, but Beth seems to love them.” 

Cassia knows she has been talking for a while, but like always when she talks about her daughter, she finds it hard to stop. “You know,” she adds, “Everyone keeps telling me how much she looks like me. Alisaie made the joke that she looks like a tiny wind-up version of me.” She chuckles before she takes a deep breath. “But when Bethany smiles, I doubt there is a single soul in Ishgard that couldn’t see that she is your daughter.”

Her hand comes to rest on the stone. It’s cold under her skin, but the rough texture feels like a comfort against her ungloved hand. In the distance, she can see the towering spires of Ishgard gleam under the sunlight. It is a beautiful day. Bitterly cold, as always, but the sun stands high and the skies are crystal clear with not a single cloud in sight. 

“I wish…” Cassia mutters, a faint yearning reading its head deep inside of her. “I wish you could see her grow up,” she confesses quietly to the broken shield resting against the stone in utter silence. Over the years it has frozen into place, become immovable. A solemn fixture, watching over the city from afar. 

“I’m sorry I am not coming around more often,” Cassia adds, feeling the familiar guilt rise inside her. “I had to leave, you understand, right? I couldn’t stay here. Not when every single spot in this city keeps reminding me of us. Of the plans we had. The lives we never got to live…” She lets out a soft sigh. “You should see your father with Beth though,” she says with a smile on her face. “The way his eyes light up each time she so much as coos at him. I swear he looks younger now than he did when I first met him. He loves her so much…” 

The thought feels like a warm embrace around her heart, making the city in the distance look even brighter somehow. “You know, he took me aside a little while ago. Trying to let me know that he would support me fully if I wanted to move on…” She shakes her head with a click of her tongue. “I didn’t even get what he meant at first but… He worries about me. Said I seem terribly lonely sometimes and that he knows you wouldn’t want me to stay on my own forever…”

Under the warm sunlight on her face, her tears only shimmer slightly, but they don’t fall.

“I know he is right, and I know you would tell me the same thing, but…” Something lodges in her throat, the familiar guilt, mixed with a hint of fear. “You know, given what a wonderful family I have found for myself, I sometimes feel like the most ungrateful person alive,” she whispers so quietly, that even the mild breeze manages to swallow the sound. “I have all those wonderful people in my life and they are perfect, and they love me and yet sometimes I feel so lonely that it hurts to breathe.” 

Out here, in the quiet of a cold winter day, with only the dead as her company, Cassia can speak the words that would normally threaten to choke her. 

“They give me so much, and they all encourage me, hope for me to find someone and I just… I don’t know if I can ever do that again.” It is a terrifying thought, but one that doesn’t leave her, even in her brightest moments. Her voice becomes a whisper again as she quietly adds, “I don’t know if I can let myself love someone again the way I still love you. And I know for certain I could never settle for anything less.”

Around her, the snow and the mountains are nothing but quiet. Silent witnesses to the fear she could never dare to voice in front of anyone else. 

For a while, Cassia just stands there in silence, her eyes fixed on the city in the distance. It stands tall, unshaken. With the damage of the Dragonsong War mostly repaired, it looks… whole. From afar, it is nearly impossible to see the cracks that still remain. But Cassia knows they are there. In a way, the city is much like her. They are both still standing, tirelessly working to fix the damage done to them. And from a distance, Cassia, too, looks like she is whole again. The small cracks and blemishes only visible if one knows where to look. 

She takes a deep breath. 

“I have to go away again, for a while,” she says softly to the grave. “Bethany will stay with your father while I’m gone. It could be a while, and it might be dangerous, but we found a way to hopefully save our friends,” she explains. “There is something at the Crystal Tower. We’re leaving for Mor Dhona first thing tomorrow, but I wanted to visit you first. You know, catch up and everything.” Her try at humor sounds a bit pitiful, even to her own ears, but it doesn’t matter. 

“Keep an eye on Ishgard for me, will you?” she asks softly as she lets her hand run over the stone once more. Her fingers gently follow along the lines of the letters that make up Haurchefant’s name and her heart still skips a beat when she imagines his gentle smile for a moment. The way he would look at her when saying good-bye. His good-byes had never been sad. When he had bid her farewell, it had always been with the enthusiastic anticipation of seeing her again. “I’ll be back to tell you everything once I return,” she says into the wind and the smile on her face is a little bit more genuine than before. More real. With a last, wistful sigh at the gravesite overlooking all of Ishgard, she turns away.

She helped save that city from ruin once. As she walks away, toward yet another journey full of uncertainties, Cassia wonders if she, in time, might just be able to save herself, too.