#failing to act nonchalant as this is the only thing in my mind rn

[culperscomet]

“if anything malign ever happened to the one, the other would be merciless to his assailants”

[feeling-weirdy]

Hey I’ve been loving your Wandavision pregnancy fics lately and I was wondering if you would consider writing another?

Like something about how Wanda isn’t feeling sexy and Vision is super confused or super surprised by that bc he worships the ground she walks on?

Or like they’re both in the mood (bow chicka wow wow) but it’s hard to find a comfortable position bc of her belly but they make it work?

Idk I’m just addicted to your babyfic drabbles rn and I wanna read more!

Thanks for all of your work it’s the best ❤️

Dinner had gone...well not quite how he had expected.

Vision had promised to take Wanda out on a nice romantic evening and while he had absolutely delivered on that fact, he couldn’t help but notice how distant she seemed.  Resting her chin against her hand, she leaned against the table having completely ignored the food lying in front of her.  

Yet again, he felt like he had failed her...

Her pregnancy hadn’t been going as well as they had hoped.  She had found herself in a great deal of pain and while Vision did everything in his power to help support and distract her, nothing seemed to help.  He had quickly run out of ideas.  Their special evening should have been enough to lift her spirits, but from the expression on Wanda’s face...he just wasn’t sure this was helping.

Trying to act nonchalant, Vision followed her gaze to the pair a couple of tables over from them.  The skinny brunette batting her eyes at the young gentleman sitting across from her.  The man in turn was very much interested in every tease the woman threw his way.  The two fueled the other’s actions, stuck in a never-ending loop that was sure to go in their favor if they kept this up.  Vision looked away, somewhat appalled with how open their display of affection was.  Certainly, he had just misread her line of sight...Perhaps it was better to just come right out and ask her.

“Darling, are you alright?”  He had really begun to get concerned about her.  She had been acting strangely all day and it was difficult to discern if her reaction was just to prenatal jitters or something was really wrong.  Wanda had always been so open with him, so her silence made him feel uneasy.  “It’s not like you to daydream.”  

Wanda was quiet for a moment, her eyes falling from the couple.  Her face scrunched, nervously playing with her fingers under the table.

“Vis...?  Do you think I’m pretty?”  Her shy voice only assisted her attempt to throw him completely off balance.  

“Of course, my love.  Whatever gave you that idea?”  He answered quickly in an attempt to give her no room for doubt.  Vision had known Wanda for...well he was pretty sure it had been a long time and he never had encountered this problem before.  She had never expressed self-confidence issues before; at least none that came to recent memory.

“But do you find me sexy even after...all this?”  She motioned to her stomach, her frown falling further.

“Wanda...”  He leaned forward, lowering his voice a bit as he continued his thought.  “I find you just as, if not more so, since the day I met you.”

Wanda sat back in her chair, her eyes trailing down to the large bump separating her from the table.  His choice of words didn’t seem to quell her fears.  “I’m just a lot bigger now.  I’m just not sure my...sex appeal is still quite...all there.”  Her eyes trailed back over to the couple who had left at some point during her line of questioning.  Vision shuttered to think what all the goo-goo eyes and leg rubbing had led to probably not much further away from where they were sitting right now.

Vision guffawed, sitting back in his chair with wide eyes.  “I beg to differ.”

“You still think so?”  Wanda’s eyes brightened, her smile slowly returning.

“Yes absolutely,”  he said, his voice rising and cracking slightly as he looked nervously around the room.  “In fact...”  Vision pulled himself together, moving forward once more as he kept eye contact with her.  “You finish your meal and perhaps I’ll show you just how much I think so once we arrive home.”  At least they had the common decency to return home before...whatever those two had planned.  

Vision put the random couple out of his mind, focusing instead on the woman sitting across from him.  His love and affection had never wavered for her despite her physical appearance changing over the past few months.  The fact that she felt the need to question it did hurt some sense of pride deep down, but with her body changing, he was sure there was a reason behind it.  Proving his love was never something he shied away from and was more than happy to jump at the chance to put her mind at ease.

“Mmm, I like that idea.”  Wanda grinned, hurriedly shoving the rest of the food on her plate into her mouth.  Vision couldn’t help but chuckle at the way she reacted to his proposition. 

Once Vision paid the bill for the dinner, the two quickly returned home. Upon entering the front door, Vision immediately began to show her exactly how sexy he thought she was. Pressing her up against the hallway wall, Vision kissed her hungrily.  Wanda's large belly pushed against his stomach, attempting to keep him at bay, but he found the protrusion a welcome challenge.  They laughed at how difficult it seemed to be but allowed it to slow them down even for a moment.

Wanda moaned against his mouth, helping him one step at a time reach the bedroom. Her spirits had been lifted, desperate for any sort of attention he granted her.  And there was plenty more where this came from.  Her delicate fingers trailed along the cool vibranium of his face, pulling him against her.

Reaching the bedroom, Vision followed her onto the bed, never daring to break contact.  Climbing up beside her, Vision cupped her chin, teasing his thumb along the corners of her lips.  

Wanda squinted in pain, immediately forcing them to stop.  Worrying for a moment that he might have hurt the baby, Vision quickly ran a hand along her stomach.

"This isn't hurting you, is it?"  He pulled away from her, worry filling his features as he tucked his hand behind her back.

Wanda’s breath became a bit more ragged as she tried to get it under control.  Performing the breathing exercises she had learned from her doctor, Wanda remained calm.  After a moment, she nodded.

"I'm alright."  Despite her words, Vision kept a steady eye on her.  It was difficult to believe her when he could read her vitals from here.  Perhaps this had been a bit too much for her.

“Take it easy my love...I’m not going anywhere.”  He whispered, pushing himself up into a sitting position as he took her hand.  She exhaled, getting her breathing under control as she sat up as well.  “We have an entire lifetime to get this right.”

“I really am fine.  I’m not entirely sure what that was about, but I think I just got a little too excited.”  Wanda took a few more steady breaths, rubbing her stomach in slow, calming motions.  “The baby isn’t quite used to all this running around,” she chuckled.  He smiled, touching her belly one last time.

“I’m sure he’ll get used to it in time.”  Placing one last kiss along her lips, Vision pulled her into his lap so her back was against him.  "Here, perhaps this would be easier for you."  Leaving kisses along the nape of her neck, he traced a hand along the length of her belly.  “Better?”

“Mmm...much.”  Wanda leaned into it, basking in the attention.  Her breathing had steadied and she finally seemed to be back to normal.  Pregnancy had been far beyond what his programming had allowed and his inability to help her with any aspect of this drove him mad.  He had read every book on the shelf and yet, he still felt helpless.

Instead, he settled for support.  Trying his best to keep her as happy as possible as he simply held her hand. 

“You are more perfect than any woman who walks this Earth,” he whispered against her neck.  “Absolutely perfect.”

"Oh stop, Vis."  Grabbing hold of his hand, she held it tight against her.  She had been so excited about starting this family.  Vision would give her the moon if he could.  She would have to settle for his absolute adoration, which didn’t seem like much in retrospect.

"I'll do no such thing..."  He hummed, continuing his soft kisses along any piece of skin that he could reach.  

She giggled, leaning back against him with a happy sigh.  “Oh Vis...”

Check out my other drabbles here or feel free to request some!

[00001100x-blog]

7:07; 150702

To my dearest baobei, my one and only Senpai #0,

Hi. If ever you’re wondering on why this started at July second, it’s because I kind of failed trying to type down what I wanted to say back in July first.

Actually, I’m not a fan of sending letters repeatedly because I have a tendency to write down the same things I wrote from the previous one and of course, it is boring just reading  the same stuff over and over again. But right now, I’m going to write something new. Some things I have never told you back on my previous letter.I don’t really know what I’ll be putting in here because as I told you in my previous letter, my ideas vanishes whenever I try to write you something. I don’t know why but they seem to hate me. ene

How many twelves has it been? Why does it feel like an eternity? Actually, I don’t really like celebrating this kind of things because I don’t want to measure how long we’ve been together but I just counted with a loud voice right now. February, March, April, May, June, July. From March, there were five twelves. (I actually panicked bcs I forgot March and April and I kept on counting February, May, June, July. /shot/)

I don’t know if I have told you that I actually planned on asking you on exactly Valentine’s Day and for some reasons, I was two days earlier. (But it was a good thing bcs became busy two days later) Idek why I’m telling you this but I’m really embarrassed right at this moment. Why did you do this to me I used to be nonchalant about being honest why am I so embarrassed right now this is not fair.

I don’t really know how this letter will go because I’m pretty sure this will be even more fucked up and gay unlike last time because this time, I promised to be as honest as I could and I don’t break my man words. I never break my man words. #mnalymannam

So yes, you have plastic surgeried into a J—Lee Taegyun and what the heck. Why do you look so much cuter for some reason? (I still haven’t forgiven that person who sent me a ton of your pictures okay. ene) What do you think would have happened if nanay Taeng didn’t expose your profile? Would we be reprimanded/ reported for yaoi-ing? /shot again/ Well, actually we were yaoi since the start so I don’t think it’s going to be a big issue. (I need my meds right now I think i’m getting mentally unstable again otl /shot)

I actually still am adjusting to your character change tbqh so I’m sorry if ever I don’t mention any names or misspell your name and mix it with Ambo. It takes me days (and even weeks) to adjust and I think I’m slowly getting into it though so I guess it wouldn’t be so hard anymore. unu

-8:13 -

-17:04-

If you have realized, there’s a reaaaaally huge gap on the time where I started and when I continued but you have been talking to me in between those hours. I don’t know why but I can’t really focus on writing this while I’m talking to you lately ‘cause I have been treating our time when we’re together so precious ‘cause we can’t talk as often as before unlike a few weeks ago where we had all the time for ourselves.

I kind of miss it.

You know, just… talking to you the whole day and acting so cute to “disturb” you. (I still think that I look so werd and that it’s stupid whenever I pretend to be a kitty/ puppy but I’m actually enjoying it whenever you’re all “omg u cute let me hug you ily eric” on me. /shot bcs why does this sound so weird)

Honestly, now that we’re a little more occupied, I just want to…

cLING ON YOUR LEG AND TELL YOU HOW MUCH I MISS YOU AND HOW MUCH I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU BUT CAN’T.

I don’t know with myself a hahahah a goodbye why do I sound like a child this is unfair i wanted to sound manly. D8

wHAT ELSE SHOULD I WRITE DOWN…

OH YEAH THAT-

You have been posting links on my wall and I know I tend to ignore some of them but I only ignore them bcs I’m on mobile and I wanted to see/ watch them first before giving my reactions on it. So yes, don’t feel so bad if I do so, Okay? unu

I know I tend to joke around and tell you I’d do really weird things (Like spilling your pictures to the whole sbliss community) but I don’t really mean all of them, okay? Just a few. I also don’t mean harm, okay. I only do that because… um… because I want attention. ouo

How am I saying this without getting so embarrassed though, I—

I’m going to get some air and cry at myself as I ponder on what I just typed and why I am typing this-

-18:27-

-9:04; 150703-

Okay, so as I said earlier, I have been bullying you a lot lately and I know at times I juust go overboard and do weird things. If you don’t like it though, just tell me to stop, ok? Because I don’t want you mad at me or anything unu. At times, I just don’t get the situation so easily. I’m just too dumb to handle at times. I’m sorry. Tbh, I don’t know how you deal with me whever I act like a kid and just annoy you the whole time. /shot/ I’m really sorry for being like this. Really.

I also know that whenever I play around and pretend as Tao and just blurt out really weird and cheesy crap like last time gets you in trouble (Like hurting yourself bcs I’m pretty sure you almost jumped off your seat while trying not to scream and squeal and contain all the feels last night). Tbh idk but I pretty much got a lil jealous when I found out you did bcs tao mentioned and Idk. I just… yeah. That.

And speaking of jealous, Forgive me if ever I suddenly say that I would “burn this /insert name/ guy right here”. It’s just that I really gET EASILY JEALOUS IDEK WHY BRB SOBBING AT MYSELF THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING WHERE IS MY MANLY NOW. But it’s true that I would gladly want to burn them men (and girls included at times tbqh) without any second thought.

Edit: I will seriously rip wonho’s head tho. ouo

But I’m a good boy so I won’t actually do it. ouo

-10:52 -

-9:09; 150704-

Okay. So yesterday, I just made the bravest decision in my life.

I have been the forbidden peach named Huang Zitao. Actually, I was really going to change even if I can’t change my name but that will be on the sixth.

Yes, on your birthday. Wow. Why am I even telling you this oh my gA

I don’t really plan on bullying you to be honest. I just want to legalize my AB puns. /shot so hard rn there’s blood everywhere/ And to be younger and not labelled a grandpa- /shot again- hEAD SHOT DOUBLE KILL/

I just realized that it has been days and it still hasn’t been as long as my last letter. For some reasons, I actually wanted it to be longer than the last one so hopefully it’ll be but I’m pretty sure you’ll get so bored in the middle of this and fall asleep at me since you’re a bear and all you do is sleep. /shot/ jkjk ily baobei

But really though. This letter is typed on microsoft word, Arial, size 8 and it’s only been two pages with 1,300+ words. It’s so short. And I was planning to add a thousand more to my word count goal. (So at least 3,000 words. Wow. I can make a novel with the letters I’m sending you xD)

So to make it longer, I will just tell you the cheesiest and most cringe- worthy puns and pickup lines I will hear and watch over on the next few days. I wanted to sound a little romantic but I just can’t. For some reasons, I just sound so lame whenever I do that.

And by lame, I meant so lame that people will just stare at me with a poker face and say “u kidding me bro?”

Yep.

oH I FOUND THIS POEM LIKE THING I KIND OF WROTE WHEN I WAS BORED.

But it isn’t as cheesy as the things I send you, alright. I’m just trying to sound like I’m gonna spoil you so much one day.

I don’t know if I should send you the whole thing but then I re-read it and laughed because there was a line that said: “I’ll make sure to time travel back to the Jurassic era to get you a dinosaur or ten”. I might have missed taking meds that day because time travelling sounds im—Wait- It’s not impossible for me now I just have to activate Tao pow—I think I’ve lost it- ouo

-10:20-

-10:47; 150707-

I haven’t been writing in this document for two/ three days because I was busy and I had to do a lot of other stuff but hERE I AM YAY AFTER A MILLION YEARS—

Alright, what else should I say?

So yes, I know I have rEALLY lacked a lot. I know at times I am a lil wimpy and I only know how to be logical and I really don’t fight back to people (Because if I do I’ll get back the worse way possible and I admit that I’m a nerd that’s why I don’t fight back) and you kind of saved my butt when the bs fight happened. unu (Truth is that I’m tired talking to her tbh and I’m not good at insulting others in front of their faces. /shot/ Also, I act like a kid a lot of times- Tell me if I’m getting annoying okay I just— idk why i’m doing it when I get really embarrassed doing aegyo on other people-

-11:51-

-13:34-

Warning: You’ll find the word sorry a lot from this point on.

If you don’t know, I’ve been trying to write something during my free time that’s why some are cliff- hanger-ed and some are just damn short. (Like your height. jkjk ily baobei) tbh, I feel bad about that- Not being able to write you something as long as my previous letter. You know that I get mad at myself if I fuck up or if I didn’t get things right. I actually am a little upset at myself for not being able to write paragraphs and paragraphs of cheese that I have promised myself to write in this letter.

I guess I failed again.

I’m sorry for always being like this okay? I just think I should do better the next time and surpass what I have done the last time. This is why I wanted to write at least 3,000 words because 2,700 is not enough. I just need to do much more for some reason. Honestly, I don’t even know why I have the need to do that when I barely challenged myself into something. Maybe it’s just not enough?

I still am wondering on why I still remember most of the things you tell me. Useless or not. (Yes, I still remember it. It’s red. You told me to forget but it just crossed my mind again.) I really am so sorry if I use it against you at times and teasing you about them. I just—you’re just so cute whenever I tease you and I can’t help but tease you more because you’re so cute. So much kawaii pls u kawaii. You’re a living kawaii god. /whispers/ jesus.

I actually wanted to put the word “my” before “kawaii god” but it just doesn’t sound so right. Not in a dirty way, though- But it kind of sounds as if I’m actually worshipping you and that’s just too extreme and it sounds a lil obsessed. (I wouldn’t mind worshipping you tho if you want to eue /shot/) It’s not that I don’t love you, okay. I just don’t want to sound so obsessed and weird though I’m pretty sure I would end up planking in the middle of the road and scream your name out in agony as the cars beep at me because I’m causing a traffic jam when you’re not around.

I think I’m a little overreacting right now and I should stop doing that.

sEE WHAT YOU DID TO ME YOU MADE ME THIS GAY I WASN’T THIS GAY BEFORE. unu

-13:58-

-17:02; 150709-

I blabber a lot of nonsesnse sometimes ok and it doesn’t mean that I do them on purpose. I really don’t want to make you mad or anything. You shouldn’t mind me if I do that ok. unu

Also, please do tell me when you’re upset ok. It makes me feel a lil bit uneasy and want to go back to my man words and wanting to leave because I start to have thoughts that it would be better if I disappear. I’m sorry. At times I just get to be really depressed and i do things that are beyond stupid.

Shoot. My head is aching even more. Hahahaha

Anyways, so, yes, I don’t know what in the fuck is wrong with me that I keep on fucking things up and stuff. I also don’t know why I keep on saying sorry but I am really, really sorry. I’m so sorry no words can describe how sorry I am.

Isn’t this a creative letter? Hahaha Sorries are most likely 95% of my letter.

… And I said it would be really cheesy this time. /shot/

-17:31-

-15:39; 150711-

I should be really honest right now and say that I really was supposed to do a few paragraphs each day but I failed. It’s not because I was abandoning it, okay. It was because I prefer to Talk to you and hug you and stuff than write something here. I also wasn’t really planning on making you a letter this time but then I thought I couldn’t really do anything more than that because I pretty much suck at things that I’m supposed to be good at.

Like making good puns.

… In which I was never good at.

But my AB puns are still unbeatable okay, b AB. eue /sHOT RIGHT AT THE SPOT/

I really think you don’t need to read this whole letter tbqh because It’s just full of nonsense crap anyways. The main point here (again) is that I love you so much. Very muuuuch. Like this -> o <-Because circles doesn’t end and I just love you that much okay. unu

But I guess I should end this letter reaaaal soon.

What else should I say?

Yeah. I’m a little short of my own word limit and this is dumb because I said I’d write 3,000 words and get you so bored reading this but I guess I failed. unu

Whatever, though. I already feel accomplished as I have finished another letter once again.

I love you so much.

Even if you’re so mean and you bully me a lot and you like taking advantage of things especially when it comes to aegyo. /shot bcs semi- describing myself/

-20:25-

-13:46; 150712-

But I guess I shouldn’t end this just yet.

I really don’t want to say thank you and stuff because I’m pretty sure that I’m trying my best to show you how thankful I am that you existed in my life ok. You always make me feel that I’m important even if I’m a really annoying weirdo sometimes.

About that one we had a fight, by the way, I only said it wasn’t a big deal but to be honest there was one time I really begged people so I can get one ok. tHIS IS EMBARRASSING OH MY gOD. And of course I’m sure you know all about that because Sica tells you all the embarrassing things I tell her and do in front of her.

But really though, I deleted most of what I got except for yours pls.

-14:02-

-16:19-

Wow. I’m so out of words now.

Actually, I already had this letter done last night but then the urge of dragging it longer is just so biG.

All I really want to say is that I love you even if you’re mean and you like calling me cute even if I’m trying to be manly in front of you.

I love you even if you’re a really big klutz and you’re confused all of the time.

I love you even if you’re the most imperfect creature in this world bcs pls there is no flawless creature in this world.

I love you because you’re you so no matter how dumb you get jUST REMEMBER THAT I LOVE YOU OK.

And never forget that bcs if you do I will seriously just… sulk in a corner there because I’m unmanly enough to do something manly about that.

Yes. And no matter what happens, you’ll be my small, fragile and kawaii oppa. (Even though you’re really not an oppa. Stop confusing ppl pls they’re starting to think we’re gay tho it’s kind of true that we’re gay.)

And seriously, okay. I will try my best to protect you even though the truth is that you’re the one who saves my butt.

But yes, I want to tell you that I love you so much. Very much. So much that words can’t explain it anymore. It’s unfathomable. (what the fuck am I saying. Hahahaha /shot/)

Let me say it again,

I love you, Jung Daeun.

So much.

-16:30-

By Huang Zitao, 71215

Total words: 3,021(Time and emoticons included)

Pages: 5 (portrait) 6 (landscape)