#face value bc its there as a defense or diversion instead of beinf genuine. or sometimes ppl just act like that bc they want smth from me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

phagodyke · 1 year ago

Text

u know I doooo really like it when ppl are verbally affectionate w me. way more than I would probably ever admit tbh 🫣 but I also feel like often when ppl ARE particularly affectionate towards me its a sign they're overcompensating or trying to hide something they're dealing with from me which can be a little frustrating !!

#my mum does this.. and im pretty sure to some extent my flatmate does too altho i dont think i know her quite well enough to tell #and other assorted ppl have in the past. and i rly do get it like sometimes i act brighter and bouncier bc i dont want anyone to know-#im struggling or having a hard time. but it does just make it feel kind of hollow sometimes bc i cant always just take affection at-#face value bc its there as a defense or diversion instead of beinf genuine. or sometimes ppl just act like that bc they want smth from me #im sorry that sometimes i dont reflect it w equal energy bc i am at heart an incredibly affectionate person physically + verbally #there are a wholeass myriad of reasons why i cant dole it out as freely as i want and one of them is this bc i cant always read the-#intent behind it yknow. nothing more heartbreaking. anyway. its 1am but i cant sleep despite being fucking shattered #wauaugghh my brain is trying to drag me into the swamp someone come turn it off pls 😭😭😭😭 ok goodnight #.diaries

0 notes