#f2f: my songs know what you did in the dark

[jwzyreviews]

Album Review: "S.O.S" BY SZA

It had been five years since the last time we received an album from one of, if not the leading, R&B girls, Solana “SZA” Rowe. After dropping her introspective and tear-jerking debut “CTRL” in 2017, fans around the world were waiting for another body of work from the singer. While she didn’t leave us completely in the dark, appearing on a number of singles in the meantime, including Maroon 5’s “What Lovers Do”, the soundtrack single for Black Panther  “All The Stars,”and the record-breaking smash collaboration “Kiss Me More” with fellow popstar, Doja Cat, we needed tracks completely devoted to SZA’s vocals and artistry. After numerous delays from her label, and countless teasing, the era started to pick up. After delivering us a stream of inconsistent singles, including “Good Days”, “Hit Different”, and the soundcloud track-turned-single “I Hate U,” the drought eventually ended with receiving the genre-bending and emotionally packed sophomore effort, “SOS”.

Sza is known for her relatable lyrics and unique vocalizations. Despite becoming a fan of hers later in the game than most, CTRL is one of my favorite albums, as are many other people. I was going through a tough time during the release of CTRL, dealing with a variety of similar emotions that were discussed on SZA’s debut album. Such as feelings of insecurity, developing self esteem, and reflection. I was also dealing with my first real “boyfriend”, or my first situationship. It was a hard time in my life, and CTRL definitely was a comfort album during those times. I was definitely looking forward to SOS once it was finally announced, and I love the singles that were leading up the release. “Hit Different”, despite being absent from the final tracklist, ended up being on my Spotify Wrapped in 2021. The smooth production from Rodney “Darkchild” Jerkins, combined with the melodic vocals from Ty$, was a hit in my personal playlist. “Good Days”, the official lead single, was a bit of a miss for me, nonetheless it proved to resonate with the masses, becoming SZA's first solo top ten hit and third overall on the Hot 100.”I Hate U”  was a BANGER, and my first few listens of the track brought me to tears. The lyrical content of the song hit home for me, reminding me of my feelings to my first love, especially when she sings a line from the chorus, “What I would do to make you feel just like this.” The things I would do for the guys who did me wrong to feel how they make me feel, hating them for making me feel so inadequate when I have done nothing but show them love. This song was such an emotional release, SZA’s pen was on fire when she wrote this track despite being classified as an “[soundcloud] experiment”. The way she is able to write out feelings that everyone can relate to is what makes her such a powerhouse, and I believe that it is because she writes from the heart, and from experience. 

My personal favorites from “SOS” are "Snooze”, “Blind” “Seek and Destroy”, and “Love Language”. Despite having an excess amount of songs on this record, SZA managed to put some real gems on this record. Her music palette definitely expanded on this album, with slow alt-pop track “Ghost in the Machine” featuring Phoebe Bridgers and pop-rock track, “F2F”. There is a song for everybody on this album. With CTRL, I feel like it was a bit more streamlined, and was more about the lyrics and the story. With “SOS” I feel like she was trying to go above and beyond with vocals and production. “Smokin on my Ex Pack” showcases her rapping skills and lets us know that she can ride a beat if needed while “Nobody Gets Me” lets us hear her voice on a true pop sound with some real nostalgic flair. The emotional spectrum of this record is way different from CTRL, as she is more liberated on this record. Yes, there are definitely songs that touch on the topics as mentioned above, this album really steps in the way of moving on, knowing your worth, and knowing that you’re still a bad bitch no matter how you’re feeling at a specific time. It’s truly an evolution, and an upgrade from the melancholy vibe of her previous record.

  All in All, SZA “SOS” is a classic in the making. Despite being a bit too long, I enjoyed most of the tracks, even the ones that did not make the cut. It blends new production and lyrics, while still keeping that nostalgic tone. Despite all the setbacks,, SZA is an artist that almost does no wrong because every song is from her heart, and who are we to judge that? She really snapped on this album, and if you haven’t checked it out, please!

Overall Score:

 7/10

[frankiejamesknox]

My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark || Frankie&Jesse

Frankie had abandoned his suitcase on the bed as he got an idea for a new song and ran off to grab his notebook and his guitar. He had to get this done before it slips his mind. So many times he’d thought of a song and then by the time he’d decide to work on it, he couldn’t get it right. Before he could get much done, everything had gone dark. He got up, tried switch off and on the lights but nothing worked. His iPad had stopped charging too. A fucking black out? Now of all times? He huffed, shuffling around in drawers and boxes to find his LED lights and candles, to at least get some light in the room. His phone’s flashlight was a lot of help and thankful he had an external battery for it that was charged. He’d started packing again when he got a text from Jesse and he smiled, plopping on the bed on his back as they texted. Glad that he’d have some help with packing, he set the phone on the nightstand so that it would light up the room a bit and started folding clothes, squishing them in his suitcase while he waited for him. The sandalwood candles were making him droopy but he needed the light.

@officialstjames

[ofwolvesandbutterflies]

notch | i

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: angst

Tags: unrequited!AU, college!AU, f2f!AU

Warnings: language, mentions of mature content

A/N: i’m back i’m stressed i like writing. i wrote this a while ago, will probably turn it into a series if i ever get around to finishing it. 

01 | 02 | 03

Synopsis: early morning calls. picking him up from some stranger’s house after a few bad decisions. the torment of loving someone who was incapable of loving you back. those two small words create such a large chasm between the two of you. but hey, what were best friends for? 

I got the text early in the morning. Early like 03:27 in the morning. Rolling over in bed, I glared angrily at the unwelcome brightness of my phone screen. A scoff left my lips when I read the text; of course the morning before school started would be another one of those mornings with Jungkook. 

“That dumb fuck…” I grumbled while rubbing the remaining sleep out of my eyes and rolled out of bed. I groaned, stretching my hands high over my head to stretch out the tired, stiff joints that inhabited my body. Sighing, I stumbled into a pair of pajama shorts and clumsily pulled one of Jungkook’s oversized crewnecks over my head. 

There were worse things that could happen, I mused unhappily to myself. He could be driving home intoxicated. He could have gotten in a car crash. He could be beaten up by the side of a road, half dead and bleeding out. However, the sour, disappointed lull between heartbeats reminded me that no, nothing was worse than being stuck in the friendzone, picking him up in the early morning after each of his overnight rendezvous with an assortment of the worst girls. 

Slinging my hair up into a ponytail, I slid my feet into my favorite pair of old vans, grabbed my keys and slipped back into the quite literal cold, harsh reality. I plugged the location Jungkook sent me into my phone and twisted the key in the ignition. The steady vibration of the car’s engine brought me back to the present and further permeated the bitter irritation coursing through my body. Humming along with the sad love songs stuck in my head, I studied the glaring facade of the lonely stoplights surrounding me. The deep indigo of the clouds floating above me only darkened my mood. 

Love was quite the burden, I thought to myself. There was just something so… vexatious when loving someone that had no capacity of loving you back. But what was I to do when in reality, I had no control over my best friend’s romantic - or lack thereof - life. 

A familiar dialing tone broke through my reverie and drew my attention back to my cellular device. Loved dearly and something of a sepia-d memory, Jungkook’s caller ID popped onto my dimly lit screen. Withholding the sigh waiting to pass my lips, I watched at the phone ring a couple more times before pressing ‘accept’. 

"Jungkook," I mumbled through the phone. "Which apartment are you coming out of? I'm stopped outside of the complex."

“I’ve never heard a sweeter sound,” he chuckled lowly ignoring my actual question. The shuffle of clothing through the speaker only encouraged the bile building in the back of my throat and I was again reminded of why I was here in the first place. 

The frown etched itself deeper into my face as I responded. “The hum of my loud 2009 Chevy Aveo engine and the sleep deprived, deeply irritated voice of your best friend here to pick you up at 3 in the morning after your 3rd one night stand in the past two weeks? I find that hard to believe, dumbass. Especially after what apparently just happened in there.” Irritation oozed from my words and I made no move to shield it. 

“Aww come on, Y/N,” Jungkook hummed, relief flooding me when the sound of a door opening and closing played through the phone. “It’s not like I was planning on this happening again…”

All that left my lips was a disbelieving scoff. Glancing up at the apartment complex, I spotted a familiar figure descending the stairs on the third floor. 

“Y/N,” Jungkook spoke, louder this time so to combat the whisper of the autumn wind. “I’m hanging up now, I see your car.”

With that the call ended and I watched as my best friend’s figure neared the car. A simple black zip - up hoodie zipped up halfway hung loosely about his frame left a sliver of his toned torso out for admiration and the disheveled hair peeking out from under the hood softened my frown slightly. White washed denim joggers sat low on his hips and hugged his body in all the right ways. Balled in his left hand was a bundle of white and black cotton. His shirt and boxers no doubt. 

Reaching across the vacant passenger seat, I unlocked the door as he approached and the impish grin that graced his innocent face had me rolling my eyes. It was too ironic to be coincidental, that such a soft face could hide such a broken, lost fuckboy.

“Hey Y/N.” His post-sex voice sounded tired and fucked out beyond belief and for a brief moment, I pitied the poor, clueless girl that would wake up alone in the morning.  

“Hey kiddo,” I simpered, playful smile hiding the concern and irritation washing about in the pit of my stomach as he climbed into the passenger seat. “You sound tired as fuck.”

“Hmm... Probably more so than you.” He shot me a look I couldn’t decipher and tossed his shirt and boxers in the back. “I don’t think I’ll ever go from the gym to a party again.” 

I hummed in acknowledgement, focus more on the well-being of my best friend than the road. He sighed deeply, sliding his hood off and leaned his head against the window. Waves of exhaustion rolled off his body. A song popped into my mind and I spoke suddenly. 

“Jungkook,” I murmured, the falling moon and darkness of the sky reminding me of how late it was. The weight of his gaze on me transferred to my phone when I tossed it into his lap. “Open spotify, yeah?” 

“Okay… it’s opened.” 

Lyrics sat impatiently on my tongue before I had even told him what to type. 

“Search niki. N - I - K - I. Then just hit shuffle play.”

The silence that hung between us while he spelled out the artist’s name was not one begging to be filled and we sat in companionable silence. Finally at a stoplight, I paused to glance over my best friend. His bottom lip remained stuck between his teeth. Though tired, his deep brown eyes focused in on the screen of my phone. A vermillion glow washed over the two of us, kissing his exposed collarbones and hiding the flush dusting my cheeks. 

The light turned green and we were off as the bittersweet verses of ‘Warpaint’ slid out of the car speakers as an aesthetic white noise. I watched quietly as Jungkook’s eyelids fought to stay open before finally sliding closed, a melancholic feeling settling over my heart. The faux smile I had present fell back into a frown and I released the heavy exhale I had withheld for so long. 

Ever since high school, he had been jumping from girl to girl the numbers quickly racking up from two to three to five to six girlfriends a year. I watched from the sidelines, always there as a shoulder to cry on, a shield from other girls, a wall flower he’d leave alone for a couple months while he fucked around. For years I had fought the feelings off every time they surface, knowing I was nothing more than a friend, around only for him to come back to when the hidden emotions he refused to show got the best of him. 

Shooting a sideways glance over at Jungkook, I let my eyes travel briefly over his tired body. The breath entered and exited his lips slowly, steadily, almost in sync with the beat of my heart. I began to take a right at the intersection onto the street that led to his apartment when he reached out suddenly and stopped me. His warm, calloused hand closed over my cold, sweater paws and effectively halted the car. My gaze shot up to his.

“No- wait,” he groaned, blinking blearly and pushing himself back into a sitting position. “Can… Can I stay over tonight?” 

Still stopped in the middle of the intersection, I gazed at his deflated figure… ‘No’ would have been the right answer in a situation like this. No. You can’t stay over. No. You can’t encourage the feelings I do have for you. No. You don’t understand what staying over is going to do for my heart.

Immediately the ‘yes’ slithered through my lips before my mind processed the weight of the situation. After all, he did have a dresser of stuff over at my apartment and the guest room was hardly ever occupied. 

“Sure.” 

A grateful smile graced his lips and he retracted his hand from mine. 

“Thank you, __...” he mumbled. “God, you know you’d make the best girlfriend in the world, right?” 

The offhand comment threw a poison tipped dagger straight through my heart and the breath I had been trying to take caught in my throat before he resituated himself against the car door and added, 

“I guess that makes me lucky you’re my best friend.” 

Deep, devious, and devilish, the darkness concealed the hurt masked in my eyes and Jungkook shot me a playful smile, ignorant to the fact the smile I offered back did not reach my eyes.

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