#f2f 001: group

[pennysylvester]

forget all your problems, you know that i'm gonna solve them ➝ dennarah.

TAGGING ➝ Penny Sylvester, Sarah Fabray (@sarahfabray) & Danny Sylvester (@dannyssylvester).

LOCATION ➝ Penny and Logan’s living room.

TIME FRAME ➝ 10/25, afternoon, following on from this solo para.

WARNINGS ➝ Angst, mentions of cheating, blink and you'll miss it mention of abortion.

SUMMARY ➝ For the first time in her life, Penny finally accepts some help, and spills her troubles to her brother and best friend.

PENNY SYLVESTER

[Penny swipes at her eyes once more before pulling open the door with as neutral a look as she can. Her eyes are swollen and puffy, her voice thick with sadness.] Oh, Sarah. [She sniffs, trying hard to sound normal. New tears gloss over her eyes.] Uh, this isn't...a great time. Is everything okay?

SARAH FABRAY

[Sarah pulled up outside of Penny’s home. It had been a while since she had seen her friend but with the earthquake and everything recently and with their lives being so busy she thought a quick impromptu visit wasn’t out of the question. She did have some supplies to drop off for the antenatal ward anyway. She got to the door and knocked placing her supply bags on the ground as she waited. It was unusual for Penny to take this long to answer the door. Perhaps they didn’t hear she thought so she knocked again. Shortly thereafter the door opened.] Hi Penny. I’ve got the premature baby hats we made at the retreat. [Sarah stopped dead at the sight of Penny. She couldn’t recall a time where her friend look in a worse state. Taking a second to process what was happening in front of her.] Oh Penny what happened? [she asked in horror. Her’s practical mind took over as she grabbed her bags and ushered Penny inside. Engulfing her in a hug.]

PENNY SYLVESTER

Nothing. [Penny lies, voice cracking and bottom lip beginning to quiver.] I'm fine. [She clearly is not fine, and breaks down in Sarah's arms as the door closes.] I'm not fine. I screwed up.

DANNY SYLVESTER

[Danny parks his bike up on the drive and gets off. goes to unlock the door but finds it open and heads in] Pen... you home? [turns to see Penny and Sarah and races forward] Penny! What happened? Are you okay? [turns to Sarah] What happened?

PENNY SYLVESTER

[The inclusion of her brother ignites her need to protect, to be the sibling who has everything together.] Nothing. Nothing happened. Everything’s fine. [Her flowing tears and croaky voice betray her words, and her shoulders slump.] Could you guys just—the dog. I scared her, and— [She sniffs, leading the way through to the living room where the cowering beagle and smashed vase await.] I just need some help.

SARAH FABRAY

Oh, this is not nothing [Sarah responds hugging Penny tighter.] Oh Pen, it ok. Come on. [Sarah pulls Penny further into the house.] Take some deep breaths ok. Its gonna be ok. [When Danny arrives Sarah is releaved to know one of Pennys brothers are here for her too. It pains Sarah to see Penny always trying to be the strong one. Shes clearly not fine and seeing he state of the lounge shes glad she arrived when she did.] Dont worry ill sort it. Stay with her will you Danny? [Sarah gets to work first tending to Zoe. Coaksing her out from where she was hiding and taking her into the kitchen where she calms the dog and gives her some treats. Next she turns the kettle on and makes some tea while she gets to work cleaning the broken vase. Finally coming back with some teas for eveyone and Zoe resing on her knee on the couch.]

DANNY SYLVESTER

[Follows through to the living room and sees the vase and Zoe] Fuck what happend? [Bends down and offers hand to Zoe who doesn't come near him, this hurts him as he's gotten close to the dog since living here] Yeah I will, thanks Sarah. [Guides Penny to sit down and sits next to her, taking her hands in his own] What happened? Come on it must be bad if Zoe is like that, won't even come to me.

PENNY SYLVESTER

[Penny sits on the couch helplessly. She takes a moment to gather herself, and offers Sarah the smallest of smiles through her tears as she returns with tea.] Thank you. [She licks her lips, looking from her friend to her brother.] You're both going to think I'm such an asshole... [Her voice grows smaller.] I slept with someone else, and it's not the first time.

SARAH FABRAY

[Letting silence fill the air to allow time for eveyone to get comfortable and for Penny to gather her thoughs, Sarah hands Penny a tissue with an calming smile.] Of course. Don't worry about it. You dont always have to be the strong one. [Stroking the calming Zoe on her, and hearing Pennys broken voice aches Sarahs heart.] Pen this is a judgement free zone. We are all humen and have made mistakes. Thats what makes up life. So please this is a safe space with safe people. [Sarah pauses to make sure Penny digests her words and checks Dannys expression to make sure he in agreement].

DANNY SYLVESTER

[quickly strokes Zoe and then turns back to his sister to listen to her.] We'd never think you were an asshole Pen, ever. [as she speaks there is clear surprise on his face and he takes a moment before he turns to Sarah and nods] Sarah's right, this is a judgement free zone and a safe space and all of that shit. [sighs and moves a hand onto her knee] Do you want to talk about it?

PENNY SYLVESTER

But I am. [Penny sobs; she rarely lets anybody see her cry, but now that the waterworks have opened up, she struggles to close them.] I am an asshole. I'm married. I shouldn't be fucking other people. And you're both being too good to me. [She buries her face in her hands.] I'm not just fucking people, you know? I'm—I'm hurting people. I'm leaving destruction everywhere I go. And you don't need this right now. [She looks up from her hands, motioning to Danny.] You have enough going on. And you. [She looks to Sarah this time.] All of the stuff with your dad. I'm no better than him. In fact, I'm worse.

SARAH FABRAY

[Watching Penny spiral Sarah grabs her hand and begins stroking it to ground her] hay! No! [Sarah holds he hand up to stop Penny spiralling anymore] Look at me. [She gets Penny to slow down and match her breathing] Listen to me you are nothing like my father and i'm sure your a priotiry to Danny dispite what hes got going on. You are a good person at heart. Sure you may have done some not great things. But we all do at times. Often theres more to it that maybe we dont want to see, but please dont beat yourself up.

DANNY SYLVESTER

[Lets Sarah touch Penny to try and ground her] You are my priority, always, I mean it. I missed a lot of years but I am here now and you are number one always. [gives her a small smile] I have done so much bad shit over the years so I am definitely not one to judge. But Sarah and I are both here for you okay? Any time you want to tell us what's going on.

PENNY SYLVESTER

[She holds Sarah's gaze, matching her breathing. It helps but doesn't entirely pull her back to sanity.] I think I've done worse than you. [She glances to Danny, her eyes glossing over yet again, before glancing down so as not to have to see their reactions as she continues in a small voice.] I slept with someone last year, and um...I skipped a period. [She lets it hang in the air a moment.] Joni came with me to take care of it... I haven't told anybody else. Not Logan, not the other guy. [She shakes her head, daring a glance to her brother.] I couldn't go through the adoption thing again, and I couldn't keep it. I'm a fucking mess. I really am Mom's daughter.

SARAH FABRAY

[If Sarah is surprised by Pennys admission she dosent show it. Shes more focused on just listening to Penny and allowing her to express her grief.] Oh Pen. It sounds like you have been holding on to a lot for a long time. [She acknowledges. She hates herself a little for not knowing these struggles that Penny has clearly been dealing with for a long time.] You are not your mother. [She enforces with a soft degree of finality]. I want you to know that your not alone anymore in this. [motioning to her and Danny as if they in some way take on some of the weight.] Can I ask Pen if you feel comfortable what lead you to do these things?

DANNY SYLVESTER

[lets out a heavy sigh] Okay... okay. [lets it all sink in] I'm so glad that Joni was there with you and that you weren't alone. [frowns and shifts forward to hold her] No. No, do not compare yourself to that woman. You are a hundred times, no a million times the person that she is okay. Now, like Sarah asked, only if you feel comfortable, can you tell us some more?

PENNY SYLVESTER

[Penny likes to be the one in control, the person taking care of everybody else. She isn't used to having people take care of her the way Sarah and Danny are, but she doesn't fight them. She's too tired. She lets Danny hold her, leaning into him and looking at Sarah.] I don't love Logan. [Her voice is choked up and thick with sadness. This is the first time she's admitted it aloud.] I don't think I've ever loved Logan, not the way I should. And I know he doesn't love me either. Not the way he should. And the one person I think might be the only person I've ever actually loved, or ever will actually love— [She pauses to choke out a fresh sob.] told me the other day that she hates me. That we'll never have another chance. And rather than handling it like an adult, I have a broken vase and a scared dog and—and I'm just a mess. Everything's a mess.

SARAH FABRAY

[At Penny's words Sarah is brought back to her own life and the man she almost married. The man she didnt love. She squeeses Pennys hand for reasurance making eye contact]. Oh Pen. Well dont for admitting that. Im glad you could be truthful to yourself. [Sarah lets out a sigh] Love is a fickle thing. I know its not easy to do. I had a safe choise I could have married but you did actually marry yours. What happened to the one you love to make them hate you? [She looks down at Zoe] Dont worry about Zoe. Shes doing just fine. Sounds like you've had a lot pent up for a long time. It was bound to come out eventually. Its only a shame it came out like this. But thats ok.

DANNY SYLVESTER

[just hold Penny close as she speaks, almost expecting her to say what she did.] Love is weird. So are feelings. [sighs when she talks about the person she loves] Are you going to talk to Logan? How do you know he doesn't love you anyway? You know what, that doesn't matter. What does matter is you and how you feel right now. Have you even had dinner? Like food is important Pen.

PENNY SYLVESTER

I got married. She was waiting for me, and instead of coming back from Connecticut and picking back up where we left off, I came back with a husband. [She chooses to answer Danny’s question despite him changing the subject.] I know he doesn’t love me because I can just feel it. We say ‘I love you’ like it’s an obligation. We don’t fuck anymore, we have obligatory sex every now and then. [She glances at Danny.] Sorry, I know that’s not the kinda thing you want to hear. He avoids me and I avoid him… and maybe I’ll talk to him at some point, but not yet. So please, please, I’m begging you both… [Penny sits, a hint of desperation lacing her tone.] I know I’m asking a lot, but please don’t say anything to him. To anyone, about any of this. Okay? Please.

SARAH FABRAY

[Sarah takes a note to keep this info in her mind so as not to forget it as teh conversation moves on.] Of course Pen. We woulnt say anything. We are simply here for you. Not to get involved. But i have to ask Penny. You know all these things between you and Logan, and how you've had distructive behaviour because your looking for something outside of what your loveless marriage offers. What are you going to do about it?

DANNY SYLVESTER

[Danny just shrugs, he's heard a lot worse than his sister's sex life] We won't say anything, we promise. [he holds her closer to him] But I think maybe you need to talk to Logan about all this. Well, maybe not you sleeping with other people, but your marriage.

PENNY SYLVESTER

[Penny shakes her head, looking from Sarah to Danny and back again.] I don’t know what I’m going to do about it. I mean, you’re right, I do need to talk to Logan, but not yet. I need some time to figure everything out. [Her puffy eyes are stinging and sore, and continue to leak tears though admittedly less intensely than before.] Right now I just—I need to sleep. [She leans into Danny, resting her forehead into his chest.] Can I sleep? You can stay, Sarah. [Sniffles.] I just need to sleep.

SARAH FABRAY

[Seeing the strain this was all taking on Penny, Sarah focuses on her health than to stretch the conversation further.] First you need to figure out what you want Pen. But give yourself a break and look after yourself. Your no good to yourself like this. [She gets up to clear away the tea and to help Penny get some rest.] You get some rest. Nothings gonna change right now you have time and we will be by your side to help when you need. You dont have to be on your own throug this anymore.

DANNY SYLVESTER

[reaches up to brush some of Penny's hair out of her face] Sarah's right, you need to look after yourself. [adjusts himself on the couch so he's comfortable and gets Penny settled on top of him] You can sleep now, come on take a nap, we'll both be right here. [presses a kiss to her head] We'll always be by your side.