#eyeing a lot of wrestling new wave rn…

[blowflyfag]

Wrestling magazines are my worst addiction

[felixthekoala]

Drifted

Group: Stray Kids

Pairing: Felix x Reader

Description: Water Polo!Felix

a/n: I’m having issues with tumblr rn so I can’t add a keep reading option as of right now or all the text gets majorly messed up.  Please bear with me and I’ll fix this as soon as possible.  Also, this was originally part of a 9 chapter collab with other lovely writers but schedules got in the way so we’re posting our own as solo fics.  I’d still highly recommend reading all the others, they are phenomenal!!

You sprinted across the grass, your breath ripped from your lungs. You had been studying in the library at school and, being the genius you were, forgot your phone at home so you couldn’t tell how late it had gotten. Your mom was going to kill you. Glancing around, you realized the shortest way to your car was through the pool area. Making a beeline for the gate, you threw it open, slowing down slightly so you wouldn’t slip on the wet floor. You shrieked, heart flying out of your chest when you heard someone clear their throat. Whipping around, you scoured the darkness for the source of the sound.

“And what might we be doing here at this hour?” a familiar voice asked. You followed the sound to the pool, finding none other than your ex-childhood best friend.

“Felix, what are you doing here?” you demanded. He smirked, swimming over to the edge.

“Ah ah ah, you still haven’t answered my question. No wait- lemme guess… You were studying in the library and lost track of time? You’ve always been the studious one.”

You scoffed. He said it like it was a bad thing. Was it really so bad?

“I’m right, aren’t I?” he asked, the look on your face answering his question for you.

“Well what are you doing here, Felix? Shouldn’t you be going to some party or getting jacked off ‘roids or some shit you jocks do?” you retorted bitterly. How someone could have changed so much in one summer had you appalled.

“I sense some contempt in your tone, may I ask what I ever did to you? You were the one who stopped answering my calls.”

You glared at him. “Are you kidding me right now?! You know what you did, Felix. How could I answer your calls after that? You obviously thought you were better than me since you joined the water polo team.”

He cocked his head in confusion.

“You really don’t remember?”

He shook his head.

“That just shows how little you cared about me. Whatever Felix, I’m leaving. I’ve done perfectly fine without you for five years, I can avoid you for the rest of my life if I want.”

“Wait!” he brought his hand up to stop you.

“What?” you sighed in exasperation.

“I really don’t know what I did to you. What happened? One day you just stopped talking to me.”

“I feel weird talking to you in the pool, Felix, it’s awkward. In fact, this whole thing is awkward.”

“Why don’t you join me in here, then?” he winked, causing you to choke.

“Excuse me??”

“Come on, you used to love swimming with me.”

“That was before. We both know both of us have changed since then,” you replied, trying to conceal the hurt you felt remembering those painful memories.

“Fine, will you at least help me out?” he asked, holding a hand out.

You lifted your eyebrow at his hand. “Aren’t you a water polo player? Don’t you have all those rippling muscles to compensate for all that masculinity lost by wearing a speedo?”

“Ooh, zinger. You know, I really missed our witty banter with you constantly making jabs at ‘dumb jocks’,” he replied, placing a hand on his heart in mock offense. “And yes, I normally am fully capable of pulling myself out of the water, but you see I’ve been training alone for as long as you’ve been studying, so roughly five hours, and my arms are completely dead. Now will you please help me out?”

You sighed, placing your backpack on the ground and grabbed his hand. “Fine, but you’re putting a towel on the second I get you out of there.”

“Deal.”

You noticed the smirk a second too late, and before you knew it, his strong arm had yanked you into the pool. You shrieked, as you made contact with the cool water, spluttering when you surfaced. 

“You son of a bitch!” You screamed, sending a wave of water directly towards his face.

“Hey, you always loved my mom,” he teased through laughter.

“I can’t believe you just did that! You are completely ridiculous and immature and childish and-” you froze when you felt his hands on your shoulders, looking into his eyes that bore into yours.

“Hey, I’m sorry, I was just trying to have some fun. You look like you haven’t had fun since you dumped me for academics.”

“You mean when you dumped me for all of your jock friends who say nothing but shit about me?”

“Wait wait, what? You mean Yugyeom and Jackson? I don’t know how you heard about that but they’re not my friends. Well they were my friends for all of two minutes before they said that shit and I gave them matching black eyes…”

“You did that?”

He nodded.

“For me?”

Another nod.

“Why?”

“You were my best friend. Even if I felt like I was losing you and tried to make new friends to make up for it, I still cared about you.”

You blinked back tears as the realization hit you.

“Oh god, I was so awful to you. I blamed you for all those things being said about me and I completely ghosted you. I was afraid you would think you were too cool to be friends with me anymore when you joined the water polo team so I threw myself into my academics. I never thought-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Sure it sucked that we went this long being bitter towards each other, but we know the truth now, yeah? Maybe we can go back to being friends?”

You nodded, sniffling.

“I’d like that.”

He smiled. “Good, because I’ve missed you. Now stop crying, you’re gonna make me cry.” He pulled you into a hug, rubbing circles in your back.

Your eyes widened as you became extremely aware of his lack of covering over his torso.

“Uhm, Felix? As much as I missed your hugs, do you think maybe we could save them for when you’re fully clothed and I’m not freezing in a pool?”

“Huh?” He processed what you had said and quickly pulled away. “Oh, uh, yeah, sorry. I forgot.” He ran his fingers through his hair, an embarrassed smile on his face. That was one of your favorite nervous habits of his, and you tried to suppress the smile that was fighting to emerge on your face. “Here, I’ll help you out,” he offered, grabbing your waist and lifting you out of the water effortlessly.

“Well I guess water polo is good for one thing,” you joked. “I remember when you couldn’t even beat me at arm wrestling.”

“Yeah, you should come to one of my games to see the real impressive stuff.”

“Awe, is little Lixie wanting me to come support him?” you teased, tapping his nose with your finger.

“Oh, shut up,” he grumbled, struggling to hide his smile. “I haven’t been called Lixie in forever.”

“That’s because I’m the only one who can call you that.”

“True. And I’m the only one who can call you a nerd.”

You punched his arm playfully. “I’m not sure if I should take offense at that.”

He laughed. “Well, we should get you home. I’m guessing that’s where you were sprinting off to?”

You scrambled up in a panic. “Oh my god I completely forgot! I have to go, Felix, but I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“You’re welcome!” he called out as you grabbed your backpack and ran to your car, ignoring the freezing air and the squelching sound in your shoes. 

You loved your first class on Wednesdays because it was an hour and a half of free period. The best use of free period was shoving your nose in a book in the student lounge and studying for upcoming tests, which was exactly what you were doing when a pair of warm hands covered your eyes.

“Guess who!” he sang in your ear.

“I swear to god, Felix, if you don’t remove those hands right now I will punch you where it hurts. You know I’m not above it,” you growled and luckily for him, he removed them immediately. He plopped down in the spot next to you on the couch, laughing. “Seriously? 'Guess who?’ That’s so five years ago, Felix,” you teased, smacking his arm.

“How would you prefer I greet you, then? Hmmm? How about 'what’s up nerd?’”

“You say that I will reply with a swift kick to your jock strap.”

“You see, that just goes to show how little you know about jocks, in water polo, we don’t wear jock straps, we wear speedos. You really need to learn your enemy before you attack.”

“Fine, I’ll snap your speedo so hard your children will feel it. Better?”

He smiled. “Much.”

“So why are you here?” you asked, giving up on your studying and shutting your book.

“Other than to see your lovely scowl?” he joked, ruffling your hair. You glared at him through the tangled curtain he had made.

“Yes, other than that, which you will see a lot more if you keep doing that.”

“Well remember how I said you could come cheer me on at a game some time?”

“Yeah…?”

“I have a game tonight, and I was wondering if you’d maybe like to come? It’s a home game, so you don’t have to go anywhere…” He trailed off, running his fingers through his hair.

“What time is it?”

He perked up instantly, grabbing your shoulders. “Really? You’ll come!”

You smiled at his puppy-like behavior. “I’ve got nothing better to do, so I guess so.”

Hearing that, he pulled you into a tight embrace, thanking you profusely. You glanced around at the growing pairs of eyes on you.

“Uh Felix? I missed you and all, but we’re kinda not alone and it’s not exactly middle school anymore…”

He looked around before snorting and continuing to hug you.

“Whatever, they can enjoy the sight of me back with my best friend. Honestly if they get scandalized at this, then them making up stories in their heads is inevitable.”

“I guess you’re right, but Felix?”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you so excited about me coming to your game?”

He chuckled in your ear. “I guess because you’ve never gone to one of my games and I’ve always dreamt of a day when you’d support me in the stands. Now that day is finally here.”

You couldn’t help but smile at his sentimentality. He was the sweetest boy you ever knew, even if he was a little brat a lot of the time.

“I missed you too, Felix. I missed you too.”

(to be continued?)

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 11/02 NXT 11/04 NXT UK 11/05 Smackdown 11/06

Raw:

Alexa just says, “he could be here,” then starts laughing. She’s like a walking red flag.

Love the difference in ‘play’ and ‘pain’, and I love how she’ll wave with either one depending on her intentions. Interesting to note that she’s left-handed, so every time she uses her right for ‘play’ it is absolutely a conscious decision.

Great editing to have Alexa disappear.

Randy’s got a hard life rn lmao.

Mandy and Dana’s gear looks fantastic.

Wow Lana is hella ballsy coming out there during their tag match.

Mandy Rose trying to use Octopus stretch? What an interesting world we live in.

I understand that Dana and Mandy might want the tag titles, I’m just not sure it’s wise to be fighting your future teammates ahead of SvS :/

Dana and Mandy do good team work, I just wish they’d work on the timing for their synchronized cartwheel + kick combo.

Pretty suplex, Shayna. Shayna’s probably the nicest most harmless bull you’ve ever seen. I become more and more of a fan every week.

Damn Mandy plays perfect defense but Shayna kicked out. Good teamwork though.

So Lana’s a face now because Nia and Shayna are assholes who have been tormenting her for like 7ish weeks? Do I have that right?

Oh sad, Lana accidentally screwed Dana and Mandy out of winning the titles. Ahhhh this is why Lana has no friends.

Lmfaooo. “What cuz [Lana’s] a little butthurt that I put her through a table?” “You put Lana through six tabl--” “I TOLD you NOT to say her name in my presence.” pffftt bye.

Weak finish to that promo. Hella rude to threaten to end someone’s career though, Nia. Hella rude.

I love Alexa’s enthusiasm when she’s the Firefly Funhouse version of herself.

Bro what the fuck. Christ these always have so much to digest.

I don’t... I don’t know what exactly her trick is... was that blood? Are we going for blood? That didn’t look like blood. It looked like melted fucking organs or something (or melted down candy/licorice/gelatin but let’s not get meta and ruin the fun)

I love the contacts. That’s an interesting look that I wish she’d carry on in her present day matches once she transforms into her evil, alternate self. Also noted that he used his ‘heal’ hand to turn her into the blood spitting, warped version... and I think it was the same last time, right? Was it his ‘heal’ hand last time? What does that mean in his eyes??

These are such a mindfuck ever since she joined his Funhouse. That’s not a complaint.

Why are they having Nia fight in 2 matches tonight? Why couldn’t they push this off a week?

First off, I really don’t like Lacey and Peyton together, and I’m actually quite fond of Lacey. She’s not the best worker, but she’s a fantastic entertainer, and that deserves much more respect than a random tag team with Peyton Royce.

Second, LOL at Shayna immediately clearing off the announce table. This is gonna be tragic and unfair. If I’m Lana, why the hell would I accept this match? Ego? WHAT EGO DOES LANA HAVE lol. This should be pointless in her eyes.

Lana your bravery isn’t gonna get you shit. Is Asuka gonna come out? Cuz that’s the only way you survive this.

Normally you won’t hear me cry about no selling like the dumbass iwc, but Lana did a pretty fucking high worked kick and should’ve nailed Nia in the side of the head/neck. Why wasn’t there a reaction to that? Lame. That should’ve stunned Nia at the very least. Made her flinch? Anything??

LMAO Nia just called her a pathetic piece of crap. Rolling.

Nia breaks up the pinfall attempt on Lana herself x2. Fantastic heel work. Don’t see that enough.

Peep the red marks on Lana’s back. Sad.

Fuck man, table number 7. That’s... that’s sad. Pretty bummed that NOBODY will come help her. 7 fucking times, whew.

Having a lot of the women appear multiple times tonight. Looking at how the Raw women’s division is being booked, I gotta say, SD is kinda over-bloated.

Oh cool I can actually see Alexa’s white tattoo on her shoulder blade in this lighting.

Nikki I’d advise you to not speak ill of the fiend. Also lesbireal, you iced her out the second you didn’t win the title against Bayley all those months ago.

Fucking LOVE those contacts why weren’t they a permanent part of her look as this version???

Highlight: Firefly Funhouse

---

NXT:

Ahh I love Dakota and Raquel’s matching colors.

Tbf, Dakota is a stepping stone, she just SHOULDN’T be cuz she’s way too good for that.

Dakota is so fucking scrawny. I really hope she isn’t just deemed a jobber on the MR. She needs to keep that speed up or bulk up a little.

lolol you know what Ember, you fucked around and ate a ringpost. Serves you right.

Nice armbar, Dakota. Now sit up and lock in the dis-arm-her (she won’t)

Dakota’s leading this match, peeped that call.

Ember’s suicide dive is so vicious. Like a missile straight up impaling her opponent.

LOL Dakota dodged the second. Again serves you right, the double suicide dive is Seth’s move.

Damn Dakota fucking NAILED her with that kick upside the head. You seeing stars Ember? Cuz you should be seeing stars. That was NOT a thigh slapper, that had an audible pop.

Yeahhh Dakota is absolutely the face in this match and you cannot tell me different. Ember’s arrogance is infuriating. Girl legit failed on the MR and she comes down there with an ego (in kf) tf outta here.

Love how people in nxt are constantly trying to use the Bank Statement but it NEVER looks as good as Sasha’s. Take a hint.

Love how Dakota utilizes these arm bars, that’s so random to me, has she always used submissions? Probably.

Why are we showing Ember dramatically hulk up like I care?

“This is Ember’s law” WHAT IS EMBER’S LAW FFS

HAHA atta girl Dakota, atta girl. That’s the homie, good for you. Fuck Ember’s law.

Shotzi PLEASE I could actually like you if you didn’t make me want to punch my 27″ monitor every time you fucking howled.

Also why you’d ever choose to face Toni over Rhea is beyond me but whatever.

This is not a whole new Toni Storm. You’re the friggin same. Ember has changed more than you and she didn’t even have a heel turn.

And why is the term ‘stepping stone’ being shoved down my throat this week?

Interesting that Io has chosen to tie things up with Rhea, but that’s to be expected. See now, if I was wwe, I would’ve called up Rhea immediately after this title match took place, but I already know that doesn’t happen.

Odd that they never show footage of Charlotte when they play back clips of In Your House. Triple h really that salty that she beat Rhea? Fuck man, Rhea needed that loss. Did her good.

Io: “I’m not afraid of Nightmare” I liked that.

“2020 has been complete trash,” what a babyface line by Rhea tbh.

Rhea idk when you’ll get to hold the gold again, but it’s not gonna be anytime soon. Your best hope is that you’ll win the Royal Rumble. Your second best hope is that they’ll move you to Raw and at some point in 2021, you can potentially make the Raw women’s championship meaningful again... what with it being devalued to hell since Becky left. Your realistic hope says maybe you can hold it by the time SummerSlam 2022 rolls around.

oof Shotzi’s big mad lmao. At least we skipped her lengthy entrance and that stupid howl.

Ohhhh nooooo Shotzi botched a vault like 20 seconds in. Oh man that wasn’t even just ugly, she fucking wiped out. Yikes. Yikes. Go back to the pc hun, practice that a couple dozen times more, cuz that’s the type of shit that’s gonna keep you down in nxt.

“you gotta wonder where [Shotzi’s] mind is” sure... sure...

Oh the tank’s a nod to her cousin in the military, interesting.

That cannonball was way too high anyway, Shotzi. You were never gonna make impact with that.

Holy shit Shotzi looks sloppy as fuck tonight. Usually it’s her ring work that I compliment, but good lord. Out here looking like the low card.

“Shotzi Blackheart just has not been herself so far in this one,” no this is practically a carry.

Yikes these restholds. Awful match. Do a Storm Zero and call it a night.

Christ and Shotzi fumbles on Toni’s Northern Lights Suplex. Mk.

“This match has certainly lived up to the hype” wow then y’all have LOW expectations.

No she didn’t get all of the ddt, and she could’ve ended her damn career with a dumb move like that for some throwaway tv match. Holy shit she’s such an extreme indie performer.

WOW so we sit through this long ass dreadful fuck up of a match, do a potential career ending move, then the ref just... stops counting cuz ???? and Candice pops up on screen just to get Shotzi’s attention. Hello? WHAT IS THIS TRAINWRECK. Negative 8 points to Shotzi and Candice (just because I don’t like Candice) and plus 3 to Toni for having to deal with this bullshit on her second match in nxt.

Dumb. Toni should’ve been counted out, and she should’ve been allowed to hit Shotzi with a finisher. Dumb.

lmao fuck that tank. I don’t even like Candice, either. gg. Plus 2 points.

I thought Toni was a heel? Lame. Negative 2 points for continuity.

If Xia says the letters from her family are personal, then they’re personal. Leave her the fuck alone, tmz.

Xia vs Raquel?? Lol good luck man.

Highlight: Dakota vs Ember

---

NXT UK:

Ah a squash match for Jinny, mk.

This girl looks ridiculous.

Nice impact on the Irish Whip into the corner.

Lol no selling Jinny’s stomps, ooookay.

Jinny has this aggressive wrestling style, but I feel like Bayley could toss her around lmao.

Someone give me a dollar every time Jinny calls her ‘stupid’ so I can buy a new car.

Kay so this James girl is hella athletic, that’s nice.

Rolling lightning kick? That’s your finish?? A recklessly blind heel kick while somersaulting??? Alllright, anyway.

lol plz, you’re no queen.

Ah yes a match I have ZERO interest in: Piper vs Jinny. Give KLR a squash match, I’m bored.

SPEAKING OF MY UK QUEEN

Jeeze look at KLR’s arms. Whew.

She’s so much more entertaining than the rest of the division, holy hell.

LOL KLR. Look at her sell that fear. What a fucking performer, goodbye. All the points to KLR.

Piper, KLR’s hair is way too fucking gorgeous for you to be pulling her around by it. The blatant disrespect. And you dare touch her title? Rude. RUDE.

Highlight: KLR existing

---

Smackdown:

Great video package but I have to highlight the way Sasha just sat there against the ropes staring at Bayley for what, 2 minutes? Before even acknowledging she had won the title. That was fantastic.

What’s funny is I watched their hiac match live cuz I wasn’t sure Sasha would actually win, but I never bothered with this one, because I KNEW Sasha’s curse had been broken. I knew it’d be against Bayley that she’d retain her title for the first time.

kekekek Bayley’s so fucking obnoxious.

Beautiful opening sequences. Not often can people do that particular sequence with Sasha, I think I’ve only seen Becky do it on the MR (could be mistaken)

Nice baseball slide while pulling Bayley’s ankle off the apron. Smooth af.

Jeeesus Bayley launched Sasha into the air just for Sasha to smack the apron and crash hard on the floor. Points to everyone.

Bayley playing gassed as if she’s actually tired, when we all know this girl’s stamina is aces above the rest.

Beautiful elbow drop to Bayley as she’s hanging off the apron.

Bayley sort of no sells the backstabber and goes for a messy Bayley to belly as Sasha counters into her Bank Statement. The idea for that sequence was there, the execution was not.

Oh shit Bayley hit her with the Eddie Guerrero swerve that didn’t pan out, and then popped a backstabber on her. Lmao nice.

Sasha kicks out of a Bayley to belly and flying elbow. Guess we’re showcasing her resilience as a champion. Solid.

Bayley’s so fucking fast. I love watching her wrestle when she’s not spending all of her time on the defense, holy shit.

Lmao now Bayley has her in the Bank Statement. Nobody does it like Sasha though, and there’s why.

Great match, great match. Real treat. Le curse is finally broken.

Peeped Sasha kicked her in the face on the apron, just as Bayley did when she turned on her. Nice storytelling. I enjoyed the in ring stuff with these 2, but holy shit I’m glad this feud’s over.

Man oh man do I hate Mella’s lipstick lol. I do, however, like her as Sasha’s first opponent.

Nattie: “I shouldn’t have been put in that triple threat match,” Also Nattie: “I think we should do a triple threat match,” Is ‘crazy cat lady’ ALWAYS going to be Nattie’s gimmick?

I really hate seeing other women besides Charlotte wearing Gucci, and I know that’s fucking insane but it is what it is.

This should’ve been on the show, wtf wwe. 

Do the commentators not know what’s fucking happening lol?

The speed of this is as if they were told they have 3 mins, make everyone shine.

Just watched a match where Charlotte hit a Natural Selection on Nattie while Nattie had the Sharpshooter applied to someone, and she bumped it perfectly. Why that Running Bulldog looked atrocious, I’ll never know.

Should’ve given me the video explaining why this match is happening. Did Sasha and Bayley go over time? Dumb that this was so rushed.

hahaha Nattie got fucked out of 2 svs team qualifying matches in a row. That’s hilarious.

Highlight: Bayley vs Sasha

---

*Raw shined the brightest as a whole, but Bayley vs Sasha was the star segment of the week.

[resinonao3]

*puts a cucumber behind feline!Bucky*

I think he’d nope out of there so quickly! 

OR something like this…

“I don’t know, Buck…” Steve doesn’t usually give up on a political debate so easily, and he’s particularly skeptical about the RNS’s motivations for sabotaging the ESPO pipeline, but he’s distracted.

“I think that’s what it all boils down to: pride.” Bucky continues walking up the stairs just ahead of him, tail swinging back and forth right in front of Steve’s face. Bucky isn’t doing it on purpose, he’s just excited by the latest news coming out of Russia. “Remember when they blew up the convoy headed to Kiev? Nothing but chickens. The just did it because they thought it made Russia look weak, allowing the US to provide thousands of chickens to Kiev’s farms.”

“Oh,” Steve says, because he does remember the convoy bombing, but he’s also watching that sleek, spotted tail swish, swish, swishing in front of him. It’s hypnotizing, like watching a metronome. “I still think there’s more strategy behind it than that.”

They are each carrying a brown paper bag of groceries from Trader Joe’s, since Steve finally broke down and agreed to cook his maple-glazed salmon rather than order takeout. Bucky is in the mood for something sweet, and he insisted the French restaurant that delivers doesn’t ‘do it right.’ Really, the casual intimacy of Bucky’s words caused a twinge of happiness in Steve’s chest and he was excited to cook for his hungry cat. It’s nice to have such a domestic plan for the evening, given everything going on.

“That would imply the RNS is a lot more organized than our current intelligence suggests,” Bucky grumbles, unsatisfied with Steve’s stubborn argument. Steve can’t seem to think of anything else to back up his position though, since all he wants to do is put this stupid bag of fish down and tuck his fingers into Bucky’s soft fur. Why did they even start discussing politics to begin with? That never leads to anything fun. “If they were that organized, they probably would have succeeded in the attack on the pipeline.”

“I just want to sink my teeth in your ass,” Steve sighs, and Bucky abruptly stops on the stairs before he turns around with open shock painted across his face as his eyes grow larger and larger.

Wrestling both themselves and the bag of groceries up the stairs while they struggle to keep their hands off each other is no small feat, but they manage. Steve flings open his door and Bucky slams it shut, and the bags are haphazardly dropped on the counter as soon as Steve plants Bucky on cool granite. “Shit, Steve,” Bucky breathes into his mouth, in the brief breaks between Steve’s attempts to taste every single one of his barbs. “Mmm, more!”

Steve shoves him back, yanks up his shirt and suckles his left nipple. He loves feeling it grow rigid between his lips, can taste the salt and inhales Bucky’s delicious graham cracker scent. Steve rakes his fingers down Bucky’s back, dips below the waistband of his shorts and grabs entire handfuls of Bucky’s ass. Steve is hard as a rock, the edge of the counter pressing uncomfortably against his fly, and for a moment can’t decide what he wants more; getting his mouth on Bucky’s cock or just fucking him on the spot.

He figures he’d let Bucky decide, and reaches back to press on the root of his tail. “Fuck!” Bucky cries out, his hips spasming back, and his tail arcs just enough to knock both bags of groceries over. Bucky ignores it, latches onto Steve’s neck with his teeth, and for a hot, wet second, Steve’s mind completely blanks, lost in the sensation of the sharp little bite.

Then Steve sees the eggs slip out of the toppled bag. “Wait! Shit!” Steve lunges forward, arms wildly scrambling past Bucky to catch hold of them before they roll off the counter. Bucky just hangs on, trapped between Steve and the counter. “Shit, shit!” Steve gasps, grabs the carton with two fingers, and blows out a sigh right in Bucky’s chest. “That was close.”

Then both bags of groceries topple right over the edge and crash onto the floor.

Bucky winces, not daring to look behind him, ears folded down at the sound of the produce crunching under the weight of the glass maple syrup, and the packages of fresh salmon slapping against the hardwood floor. A head of lettuce for the salad rolls out, along with a jar of peaches and a tub of ice cream. It takes a surprisingly long time for everything to settle.

“Fuck.” Steve deadpans, then raises an accusatory eyebrow right at Bucky’s tail.

“Don’t you dare,” Bucky warns him, picking it up off the counter and pulling it protectively into his lap.

Steve blows out a laugh, then releases his death grip on the egg cartons. “Let’s rescue your dinner.”

Bucky rolls his eyes, bored with that idea but apparently on board. He hops off the counter and scoops up the lettuce while Steve rights the paper bags. “Wow, that loaf of bread made it all the way into the hall,” he says, quietly impressed, and heads past the sofa to rescue the plastic bag of sliced whole wheat. Steve turns back after settling most of everything back on the counter — because that’s what counters are actually for — and spots the cucumber that had rolled halfway under the side table next to the couch.

“Everything okay?” Bucky says, heading back towards him.

“Nothing broke,” Steve shrugs. “Oh, behind you,” he says, since Bucky didn’t see it.

“Hm?” Bucky glances down and then Steve’s peaceful evening erupts into chaos.

Bucky shouts, his whole body spiraling six feet directly up in the air. Steve’s stomach plummets to his feet and he launches himself backward shouting, “Who’s there!” for some reason. He flings his arm out across the refridgerator, like he’s trying to protect it, and Bucky comes back down on the back of the couch before he springs over the coffee table and scrabbles to stop himself before obliterating the television. He winds up on all fours, claws gouging deep ruts in the floor, ears laid back, tail straight up behind him and poofier than Steve has ever seen.

Steve is gasping through his heart attack, still clinging onto the refrigerator. “Fuck! What the! Fucking! And what!”

“What was that!” Bucky snarls, gnashing his teeth.

Steve feels dizzy, and he’s worried he may actually have had a small heart attack. He unclamps his grip on the edge of the fridge and staggers forward. “What was what!”

“That— ” Bucky growls. “That thing!”

Steve’s legs feel like water. Did he pee a little? “Oh my fucking god,” he gasps. “Bucky it’s just the cucumber.” He walks over to where the bread landed, which has been stomped into a sack of sad crumbs, and picks up the cucumber, waving it at the scaredy cat cowering by the window. “For the salad?”

Bucky sits down hard, yanks his claws from the wooden floor. His eyes grow wider and wider as his face grows redder and redder. “Oh.”