#extremely superficial and vain i know but i feel like a big part of my femininity is being taken away from me and ive been dwelling

[peachiyyy]

on another note, i have to stop getting acrylic nails fr now bc my last & current set broke/is breaking off quicker than they usually do bc my natural nails can’t handle it anymore i guess. The only problem is that i’ve been using them as a source to look and feel more feminine so now i’m questioning my entire self and connection to womanhood. My natural nails don’t grow nicely but either way it doesn’t matter bc I can’t keep my natural nails long since I immediately start scratching myself and create bruises and painful open wounds on my skin.

[tclinemarr]

— && guests may mistake me as ( normani ), but really i am ( taline mar + cis female + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 12/26/1996 ). i am a ( dance teacher ) and would like to stay in suite ( 309 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( idealistic & charismatic ), but i can also be ( domineering & scatter-brained ) at times. personally, i like to ( listen to podcasts, shop online & solve crossword puzzles ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( flamin’ hot cheetos ) to have in my suite. thank you for checking in! ( nessa, est, 21 ).

tw: mentions of anxiety. 

hello, my babies! okay, i swear, this is the last muse i’m bringing in for y’all. the muse with fiona just didn’t click as i hoped it would so i decided to bring back a favorite muse of mine, taline! you’re a real og if you remember when i first played her. anyways, i literally can’t think of how to do an intro post, wowie, but below will have some info about her! if you wanna know more about her you can check out her pinterest board here or her full bio here! i’m always down to plot, so lmk if you’d like to plot and we can work something out! 

as of right now, she is keeping herself focused on herself and uses her job as a dance teacher as a form of every day therapy. she’s been living in chicago for about two to three years so far. in her spare time, she helps tutor kids after school and likes to shop online. taline swears those are the only things keeping her sane.

let’s get a few things out of the way: taline is both distant and clingy at the same time. she doesn’t let a crap ton of people close to her but once she does, she can be draining. she texts about random things that she thinks her friends will enjoy. she asks how they are all the time. she wants to hang out and watch movies and cuddle a lot. she wants to cook for them and buy them things. she wants to share her favorite books with them. she wants to witness their shocked faces during the plot twists of her favorite movies. it isn’t uncommon for her to have to be told that someone needs a break from her for a few days. she tries not to take those times personally but the majority of the time after being pushed away for a breather, taline is unsure of what to do with herself and gets fretful and does massive amounts of work and dancing.

taline is frequently told that she could be a politician due to her diplomatic presence and strong-willed mindset. even so, she has much interest in politics as a profession, and takes it as a compliment and revels in the fact that people think so highly of her.

hardened by the unwanted advances and crass comments people would throw at her when she was younger, the brown-eyed beauty has perfected the art of appearing intimidating and serious. but the reality is that she has a fantastic sense of humor that can be cracked into by treating her the way everyone else didn’t – like a human being and not an object. 

taline fits very well into the “femme fatale” trope and often receives comparisons to michaela pratt from htgawm for both her sophisticated sense of style and bold personality. somewhat of an uptight perfectionist, she has always followed the rules and is her own worst critic.

despite her demeanor, the young woman is extremely caring and always wants the people she cares about to be comfortable and happy. when she’s very close to a person, she can be very emotional expressive towards them. she doesn’t mind expressing her feelings and thoughts with someone she’s extremely close to. in fact, she finds it therapeutic. of course, this is something that comes over time when you’re her friend. she doesn’t get close to people very easily.

everything that she does is very methodical and thought out. she’s not afraid to flaunt her intelligence, nor is she afraid to intimidate people by shoving her systematic way of life in their face if it benefits her. taline is a very cut-throat type of person when it comes down to it, but it’s because she believes she deserves the best and will do anything to get it. 

due to her own arrogance and intelligence, taline has an opinion on everything and a tendency to share those opinions when it’s not necessarily appropriate, which gets her in trouble frequently.

she no longer speaks to her father due to the fact that the pressure he put her under caused her to suffer from anxiety attacks. she’s currently looking for a good therapist since she’s still dealing with the impact of his words and the expectations he set for her. 

she moved to chicago a few months after dropping out of the graduate program at vanderbilt university. she wanted a clean slate since she was always surrounded by the same people for the past few years. chicago seemed like a good idea to her and it would be an easy escape from hearing her father’s nagging. 

currently, she is living at the malnati while teaching at the small dance studio she works at. she posts on youtube every other week and has recently gotten on the tiktok bandwagon. she moved to chicago because it reminded her a little bit of indianapolis and she needed a new place of scenery to reinvent herself. at the moment, there is no family in the picture as taline has been estranged from hers since she was twenty one for choosing to pursue her own dreams instead of trying to fit into the neat little box they’d carved for her. that has left a pretty big void in her life that she chose to ignore and then fill with dance.

to help her make a little money on the side, she has an onlyfans account. she enjoys showing herself off in lingerie. taline at night vs. taline during the day is such a difference that it will blow your mind.

plotting

at first glance, there isn’t very much to taline. she’s the girl who is impeccably dressed with a wide grin on her face and a childlike kindness that makes her embrace everyone she meets with open arms. she goes to great lengths to make sure that is all that people see; that she is recognized as the ex-rich girl who lucked into her own brand of success with her youtube channel. she genuinely adores people from all walks of life and takes great joy in getting to know them. honestly, taline is a combination of a really reliable friend and someone who frequently just disappears off the face for months at a time when she's focusing on her work. she's surprisingly introverted for the job she has and can be something of a hermit, but if a friend needs her she'll dust herself off and come out of her hole. she's an interesting person to have around and has stories for days, but can be a little self-involved and work-obsessed. she's also not great at talking about her feelings unless she's pissed off. she's a lot of fun, though, and loves to party. 

i can see taline having a lot of friends but many of them not being particularly good ones. she's a very charismatic and outgoing person but also withdrawn in the sense that a lot of her friendships are very surface level. it takes a lot for her to decide to let someone get much closer but when she does, she's a good friend who will look out for the other person. she just has a tendency to put herself first because she doesn't feel like anyone else will do it for her, so she needs to do it herself. she also grew up feeling pretty lonely and i think part of the reason why she'd have so many superficial friends.

in conclusion: taline is someone with a kind heart who would give the shirt right off her back for anyone she deems a friend. she’s open-minded, loving, and incredibly forgiving when she wants to be. she definitely has her faults. she can be vain and self-involved and a little unreliable as she’s incredibly disorganized. it tends to be made up for with her genuinely good nature, how eager she is to please and how prone she is to spoiling her friends. overall, she's a good friend to have around when she decides to attach herself to you! 

on the flip side, taline loves a good debate, and honestly, loves a good fight. she's full of opinions and refuses to believe that she could be wrong. losing an argument or debate is not in her vocab. she is argumentative and also quite moral/righteous. with that being said, there will also be people she rubs the wrong way. being a strong character and a person not afraid of confrontation, taline frequently ends up in situations where she antagonizes others. when she believes in something, she's very adamant about it and she will fight for it, even if she's not always in the right. she's very passionate and very outspoken and she tends to step on people's toes more often than not. she's also stubborn and doesn't easily see her own mistakes, so she's been known to keep holding onto her opinion even when it's been obviously wrong. get into a heavy conversation with her at your own peril, xo.

despite having a lot of acquaintances, i would like for her to have a circle of tight friends, people she is incredibly close with that she trusts implicitly. some she's known for a long time and some that maybe are newer but they feel its like they've known each other forever. just give this girl her pals, please!

she has plans to open her own studio in the near future, so anyone who be interested in aiding to her dream or who wants lessons or even just a place to practice could befriend her.

she is a hopeless romantic, through and through. she is something of a serial monogamist where she wants to be in a relationship because they help ease some of the insecurities she’s been battling with since she was disowned by her family. she tends to put all of that yearning for their approval into relationships with other people. she’s bisexual, and she’s interested in people who can make her laugh and feel comfortable. she likes the idea of having a partner in her life but she's also so independent and in her own world, so she hasn't ever been particularly good at dating. if we’re being honest, the only serious relationship she has ever been in was with moira sanchez back in college, and she’s still mending a broken heart from that.

she's very protective over her own feelings but equally tends to jump into things too fast and then back the hell out all of a sudden. if she does choose to be in a relationship, i think she’s quite picky with who she decides to do that with because she had a childhood of not receiving the love she needed and i think that shows in her approach to romantic relationships (ouch). i can't see her having loads of hookups since she does tend to project onto someone who shows her attention or affection. she falls hard for people, especially people she starts sleeping with. fwb or fuck buddy relationships often become complicated for her or they evolve into something that ultimately ends. she’s unlucky in love, to put it simple.

wanted plots

left brain, right brain. taline’s other half. the two couldn’t be more different regarding their behavior and interests, but they somehow make it work. they don’t fight often, either, even if they aren’t the same in the slightest. the one thing they have in common is how much they adore the other’s existence.

two best gal friends. -- like a troublesome trio. the three are always seen with at least one another. you can call them charlie’s angels, destiny’s child, or phoebe, rachel, and monica from friends. something that resembles the friendships of the bold type and someone great.

now we got bad blood. -- taline doesn’t have many enemies, but there is always someone out there in the world that will get on her nerves. this person makes her want to gouge her eyes out with a fork. right off the bat, these two bumped heads, arguing about petty things like favorite tv shows and favorite foods. perhaps it’s because they’re both natural born leaders and can’t seem to reach an agreement, or perhaps it’s because they remind each other a little too much of themselves. either way, nobody understands their dislike of one another. 

the art of intimacy. -- she has never been one to indulge in senseless intimacy. actions where touches were detached from feelings. it’s not her -- that’s not taline. but sometimes, the feelings of fingertips on her skin, and the taste of lips, mixed with the rich moans and pleas for more, drives her to break her own rules. she can study them. learn notes about the way of intimacy and sex when you remove the feelings. true, she’s terrible at removing that and she proves time and time again that she can’t separate lust and love. maybe it wont end in disaster? maybe it’ll provide just the right muse.

almost lover. -- they probably had a thing at one point and she got too attached, they broke her heart, and she just can’t let it go.

[tinkadreamchaser]

Guess who... (South Park)

This is some astrology, but don’t leave yet! This one was really fun, so try to guess which South Park character this might be. I used their actual birthday and extrapolated a little on the birthyear. The birth year has to be between 1988 and 2011 if we look at the shows runtime, but then again, they had enough christmas specials to make the kids way too old to still be in elementary school. So yeah, I figured 2000 would be a good year (based on Chinese Zodiacs, they’re helpful for this kind of thing.)

Have fun guessing! There may be parts that don’t seem to fit, but the parts that fit fit extremely well I believe!

Rising Sign is in 08-20 Degrees Leo They love to be the center of attention and they want to appear strong, confident and dominant. They are very proud of themselves, sometimes quite vain even. When all around them are bedraggled and falling apart, they look like a million bucks! Very dignified and honorable, they enjoy the power and privilege, but not the responsibilities, that come with leadership. They are very idealistic but can also be quite stubborn. Others impress them only if they have integrity (but wealth, power and influence can also turn their head). They prefer rich, elegant surroundings and possessions, and will try to acquire them as their budget allows. Physically, they are very impressive - - at their best they have a regal, charismatic demeanor and bearing. Try not to be such a showoff! Sun is in 10 Degrees Cancer. Very emotional and sensitive, they have an intuitive understanding of the "vibes" around them. They tend to be quite generous, giving, loving and caring, but only when their own needs for emotional support, love and security have been met. If they are not met, they tend to withdraw into themselves and become very insecure and selfish. Their home and family (especially their mother or the person who played that role for them early on) represent security for them and thus assume a larger-than-life importance. Very sentimental, they have vivid and long- enduring memories of the past. No matter how well adjusted they are, they will always need a secret quiet place of their own in order to feel at peace. Feeding others can give them great pleasure they would enjoy being part of a large family. Moon is in 06-07 Degrees Cancer. For the most part, they are very strong and secure emotionally. They intuitively know what to do to make others feel comfortable, loved, accepted and needed. They naturally enjoy feeding and taking care of others. Be careful that their mothering does not turn into smothering. At times, they tend to feel that those to whom they are attached can never do anything without their assistance and support. Extremely sensitive by nature, it hurts them deeply whenever anyone criticizes they. They have an almost desperate need to be loved and wanted and needed by everyone with whom they come into contact, and they go out of their way to be accommodating to them. Mercury is in 17 Degrees Cancer. Their emotions tend to rule their thought processes. They have difficulty seeing life objectively. They have an excellent memory, especially about things to which they have formed an emotional bond. They prefer ideas and thoughts that are known and familiar, and therefore tend to dislike fads or radical ideas. The beliefs and traditions of their family and culture are very important to them. Their thinking becomes quite unclear when they are emotionally shaken -- they should not try to make major decisions when they are upset. Let things calm down first. Venus is in 15 Degrees Cancer. They like to be very close to other people. They need emotional support themselves and are willing to give it to others. When they feel unloved and insecure, they can be very jealous and possessive. They are not interested in casual or superficial relationships -- only deep emotional involvements interest them. Their faithful devotion is one of their greatest gifts, but be careful not to become too dependent on others. They need to learn to stand on their own two feet and demand their own rights once in a while. Mars is in 10 Degrees Cancer. Their moods are very important to their overall well-being. They are confident and self-assertive when they are feeling upbeat, and they are retiring, irritable and grumpy when they get depressed about anything. Very sensitive, they wear their heart on their sleeve. They are easily angered whenever they think someone has slighted them. It is best for them to show their anger immediately and let it all out, rather than to try to hold it in or to hold grudges for a long time. They're extremely loyal and defensive of their family, neighborhood, community and culture. Jupiter is in 00 Degrees Gemini. They have a logical, detached, objective view of most things. Their interests are wide-ranging and they are an avid student, with expertise in many different areas. They love to work things out in their mind -- everything they do is reduced to an exercise in logic and reason. They have the ability to grasp abstractions and to deal successfully with the larger issues of life. Their overemphasis on developing their powerful intellect can cause their emotional and intuitive abilities to atrophy unless they consciously choose to exercise them. Saturn is in 26 Degrees Taurus. Complete freedom of choice makes them ill at ease. They must have a firm, ordered, secure foundation in their life in order to feel comfortable. They do not adapt easily and tend to fear the new and untried. They constantly fear that they do not have enough (love, property, material things, etc.) and this makes them tend toward being selfish, withdrawn and stingy. If they try to surround themselves with supportive people in their environment, they will become more emotionally self-supporting. Uranus is in 20 Degrees Aquarius. They, and most of their peer group as well, are reformers at heart. They want to make positive changes that will benefit society as a whole. They are willing to devote their time and energy to see that they come about, especially if the proper group support and combined purpose of will can be found. Be careful that their devotion to group goals does not produce too much friction or neglect in their own interpersonal one-on-one relationships. Neptune is in 05 Degrees Aquarius. They, and their entire generation, will idealize and even venerate the ability to remain detached as well as the ability to objectively analyze any given situation. There will be a concerted effort on their part to cure the ills of society as a whole. But they should be very careful to continue to maintain and protect the rights of individuals in the midst of these potentially far-reaching changes. Pluto is in 10 Degrees Sagittarius. For their entire generation, society's cherished beliefs and totems will be radically changed. Many traditional concepts will be totally altered, if not completely destroyed. The rights of individuals to pursue their own course in life will be reasserted. N. Node is in 24 Degrees Cancer. They genuinely enjoy meeting other people, but they're at their best if they can do so from the comfort of their own home. They prefer others to come to them and tend to feel uncomfortable about leaving their home or neighborhood for any extended period of time. Those who do come in contact with them are struck by their caring and obliging nature -- they really make them feel at home. They form the closest ties, however, with members of their immediate family, especially their parents and children. They're at their best attending or organizing family reunions!

... Did anyone get that? The solution is below

This is the chart for a character that was canonically born on July 1st, near Denver, Colorado. The extrapolated year was 2000.

This is Cartman, guys.

There are several big ifs in that chart. Cancer is a great sign IF you get the stability at home, which he has not. So I figure he lost a lot of the possibility for all that nurture stuff, which is really sad.

Also, I’m not shitting on any Cancer’s, my mom is Cancer and I love her. I have Cancer as my Rising Sign too.

I’m thinking of making more of these...

[jordannaanna]

My Houses

Above is a reference chart for the 12 houses Astrological Houses, provided by astrolibrary.org, and below is the descriptions of each of my houses from astrofix.net. Learning my houses has definitely helped me realize a lot of Truths in my life. The descriptions themselves resonated with me but reading “girly girls” and “truthful communication” helped me realize some things my social anxiety (which what is mental health anyway? Don’t worry ‘bout it, we’ll get to that later) suppresses. Like I wouldn’t call myself girly even though I believe it’s an accurate description of me but I feared that no one saw me as girly so I think “oh I must not be girly”. *eye roll*

Anywho. Finding out your houses can be really eye opening. I know I appreciate an honest look at things, your houses provide an honest look at yourself! (I mean that's what the zodiac was designed to do right?)

***

My Houses

I Girly girls. Sweetness as a form of manipulation. An artistic, balanced, aesthetic approach. A balanced, diplomatic and tactful approach. A sweet, nice, agreeable person. A sociable person. A charming person. A physically attractive person. A person with taste and aesthetic sense. A person with an artistic viewpoint. A person who is attuned to beauty. People who are unable to make decisions in life direction and rely on someone else to make decisions for them. An approach to life that is codependent. A person who always takes the opposite viewpoint. The devil’s advocate. An elegant person. A person who dresses with elegance and taste. The appearance of sweetness. A cooperative approach. A person who wears beautiful clothing. A person who presents herself beautifully. Classic beauty. A fashionable person. A vain person. A person overly concerned with superficial displays of kindness and sweetness. A sycophant. A person overly concerned with looks. A person who does not care one way or the other about life. An impartial or indifferent approach to life. A lack of passion in the approach to life. The need to be agreeable and pleasing prevents you from getting into the thick of life. The need to always be seen as fair, just, cooperative and agreeable prevents you from presenting divergent or controversial viewpoints or opinions. A person looking to get married or be in a relationship. Looking pretty. An apathetic approach to life. Falling into patterns of codependency. Failing to do what you really want to do in order to please others.

II Intense feelings about money. A love / hate relationship with money. An intense interest in personal finance and personal financial security. Intensely possessive of personal finances. Jealous when other people have more financial freedom. Valuing intensity, passion, eroticism and sexuality. Valuing suspicion and being secretive. Secretive about personal finances. Hiding money. Money under the mattress. A complete overhaul of your belongings from time to time. Finding value in extremes. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Liking to own things that cause extreme reactions in others. Collecting items associated with death: funerary masks, mortician’s tools, bones, teeth, etc… Collecting items associated with the occult. Collecting erotica. Collecting sex toys. Earning a living through sexual activities. Earning a living through activities associated with death or the occult. Earning a living through the healing arts. Collecting deadly instruments in general. Collecting lingerie. Feeling resentful and bitter about money or having to earn a living. Causing extreme financial situations in your life. Being transformed by an abundance or lack of money. All or nothing financial decisions. Financial security is a life or death matter. Secret collections. Hiding collections. Sex is a survival need. Passion and intensity are survival needs. Complex survival needs.

III


Writing, speaking, thinking and learning about religion. Religious siblings. Religious neighbors. A religious community or neighborhood. Writing, speaking, thinking and learning about foreign countries and cultures. Writing and speaking about ethics and morality. Having an opinion about basic education and teaching methods. Having an opinion about sibling relationships. Having strong opinions about books. Speaking philosophically. A philosophical thinker. Reading philosophy. Reading religious texts. Sunday school teacher. A dogmatic approach to education. Priest, rabbi, etc… Writing scholarly papers. The mind of a scholar. The mind of a philosopher. The mind of a religious person. Open-minded. The mind of an explorer. The mind of an adventurer. Keeping a travel journal. Keeping a travel blog. Thinking about the big picture. Missing the details. Enthusiastic communication. Speaking foreign languages. Speaking with an accent. A big talker. All talk and no action. Garrulous. Preaching to the choir. Standing on a soapbox. Talking about the big picture. Talking about visions. Talking about foreign countries and people of other cultures. Talking about philosophy. Preaching your beliefs to the people in the immediate environment. Broad-minded. Writing about culture. Writing about religion. Communicating big ideas to a small audience. Religious siblings. Growing up in a religious neighborhood. Sunday school. Parochial school. Going to a religious elementary school. Having an opinion about sibling relationships. Opinionated about education. Opinionated about writing. Opinionated about books. Adventurous language. Adventurous writing. Exploratory writing. An aexpansive mind. Truthful communication. Writing about animals. Writing about outdoor sports. Talking, writing and thinking about metaphysics. The metaphysical mind. Optimistic conversations. Conversations about religion and travel. The mind of a sage. A wise person. Someone who writes jokes. A comedian. A funny way of communicating. Cracking a smile while talking. Having a hard time getting your communication taken seriously. Exaggerating. Foreign correspondence.

IV
Bare bones furnishings. Living in houses with “great bones.” Barren landscape. Austere furnishings. Minimalism. Appreciating structure and form. Authoritarian parent. Strict parent. Strict upbringing. Conservative upbringing. Growing up in a conservative family. An ambitious family. A recognizable family. A family with a reputation. Old folks’ home. Living with your grandparents. Stern parents. A lack of joy in the home life. Utilitarian houses. Old structures. An austere home. Classic architecture. Conservative at the core. A family of hard-working people. One of your parents may be much older than the other. Strict disciplinarian in the household. A traditional family. Upholding the traditions of your country. An authority on your country. An authority figure in your country. An authoritative figure in your family. Having ambitions for your country. Having ambitions for your family. Privately serious. Privately ambitious. Privately caring about your reputation. Working hard on your house. An ambitious real estate agent. Ambitious plans for your home. Ambitious plans for your property. Protecting the nation. Protecting the family. Protecting the home. A repressive upbringing. Living in the mountains. Living high up. Penthouses. Skyscrapers. Multilevel homes. Conservationists. Protecting the environment. Living in your father’s house. Classic homes. The “old country.”

V
Treating children as friends. Treating children as equals. Diverse interests. Hobbies in science and technology. Bizarre and unusual interests. An inability to get personally involved with your children. Viewing children as peers. Having an aloof attitude toward children. Taking bizarre risks. Taking up the causes of children. Social reform on behalf of children. Crusading on behalf of your personal interests. Magnetic attraction. Needing excitement and unpredictability in romance. A love of gambling because of the unpredictability. A love of unpredictable sports. Strange love. Extreme sports. An unusual way of expressing love. Attracted to weirdoes. Attracted to geeks. Romantic involvements with geniuses and intellectuals. Experimental music, art, performance, dance, and other methods of self-expression. Being cool in romance. Shocking love affairs.

VI Self-transcendence through diet, health, daily work, or relationships with animals. Needing to have a job that engages the imagination every day. Passive in taking care of your health. A daily job that requires compassion and selflessness. Working for a charity. Social worker. Looking for a magic pill. Animal welfare worker. ASPCA workers and volunteers. Treating volunteer work like a job. Putting imagination to work. A working musician, poet, psychic or medium. Wanting a spiritually-oriented workplace. Wanting compassionate and imaginative co-workers and employees. Seeking sympathy from co-workers and employees. Wanting a working environment that is imaginative. Unselfish with employees and co-workers. A bit sloppy with everyday tasks. Someone who lets the dishes pile up for days. Feeling sorry for yourself on a daily basis. Feeling victimized at work. Someone who works on behalf of people who have been victimized by employers or co-workers. Escaping through an adherence to routine. Having a spiritual routine. Being romantic and poetic is part of the daily routine. Being confused and sensitive is part of the daily routine. Seeking pity is part of the daily routine. Wanting to escape through health and diet. Spiritual diets. Fasting for spiritual access. Sedatives as food. Foods, pills and vitamins that have a sedative effect. A job that involves working underwater daily. Working at an aquarium. Fishermen. Compassionate and kind interactions with animals. Inability to refuse a stray. Confused and chaotic interactions with animals. Unrealistic interactions with animals (Grizzly man?) An unrealistic understanding of the nature of animals. An unrealistic understanding of the way the body functions and its needs. Using visualization techniques to heal the body. Working at an animal hospital. Volunteering at the animal shelter. Volunteering daily. Volunteering at a soup kitchen. Providing food for those in need. Meals on Wheels. Communing with animal spirits. Foot issues. Looking for sympathy because of health problems. Dancing is part of the everyday routine.

VII Attracting an independent, courageous, and assertive partner. Selfish, self-centered, and violent partners. Angry or violent clients. An aggressive relationship with the public. Marrying an athlete. Marrying an independent man or woman. Needing independence in marriage. Marrying a dangerous person. Fighting with other people. Attracting argumentative people. Fighting with business partners. A marriage filled with fighting. Fighting in one-to-one relationships. Competing with your spouse. Viewing relationships as a competition. Needing to “one-up” everyone. The first to get married. Needing to “win” in relationships. Competing for the hand of the marriage partner. Needing to stay competitive against opponents. Liking aggressive and assertive people. Being viewed, by the general public, as sexy. Being viewed as argumentative and aggressive. Competing for public attention. Refusing to get married because of the need for independence. Having a strong say in a partnership. Aggressive opponents. Wanting a partner with masculine qualities. Equally independent partners. Equally aggressive partners. Equally courageous partners. Partners who are both leaders. Pioneering partners. Equally selfish partners.

VIII Sexual gluttony. Strong sensual, physical, appetite. A patient, careful, and sensual lover. Slow sex. Endurance and stamina. Oral sex. Natural beauty is sexy. Uncomplicated people are sexy. Soft fabrics are sexy. Artists are sexy. Chefs are sexy. Eating is sexy. Getting turned on by watching people eat. Sploshing. Smoking fetish. Money and wealth are sexy. Getting turned on by the texture of hair, skin, and clothing. Turned on by perfume, essential oils, and fragrant bath products. Getting turned on by natural body odors. Armpit fetish. Mud wrestling is sexy. Potters are sexy. Demi Moore in “Ghost” is sexy. A financial backer. The ability to gain financial support from other people. Beauty consultant. Beauty makeovers and transformations. Physical transformations. Throat surgery. The ability to transform raw materials into new forms. Recycling. Geologists. Thorough, careful, and productive research. A determined, practical, and unwavering approach to working with the terminally ill. Safe sex. A boring, predictable sex life. A stagnant sex life. The sex life of a hedonist. Attracting sex partners who hope to gain financial security. Massage therapy. Rolfing. Emitting guttural sounds during sex. Singing as a form of therapy. Singing during sex. Singing is erotic.

IX Knowing a little bit about everything. Copying other cultures. Copying other religions. An eclectic mix of religious beliefs. Incorporating bits and pieces of other cultures into your life. Publishing books and magazines about writing. Philosophies that condone stealing. Philosophies that encourage mental alertness and curiosity. Crooked clergy. Spending a short amount of time in many different countries. Quick trips around the globe. Journalists who write about how global situations affect local areas. The ability to understand what is going on around the world and to communicate that information in an understandable way. Knowing where to go and what to do just about anywhere. Staying on top of trends in culture and religion. Staying on top of trends in publishing and journalism. Joining trendy religious movements. Believing in “Think globally, act locally.” Believing in the power of communication. Living abstract concepts, religious tenets, and philosophical ideas in everyday life. Practicing what you preach. The everyday world informs your philosophy of life. Finding meaning in everyday life. An inability to see beyond the tip of your nose. Lack of ability to engage people of different cultures and religions with real depth of emotion. A purely intellectual understanding of world events. Communications majors. Literature as a college major. Academically inclined siblings.

X Careers that cater to women. Owning a spa. Owning a catering business. Owning a restaurant. A career that involves caring for, or nurturing, other people. A career in which your sensitivity is on display (positively or negatively). A career that demands gentleness and the capacity to make yourself vulnerable. A career that challenges your shyness and tendency to withdraw. Doctors. Planned Parenthood. Hospital director. Widely known for your sensitivity and vulnerability. Widely known for your gentleness and receptiveness. Widely known for being temperamental and full of fear. Widely known for being a parent. Widely known for your mothering skills. Widely known for the relationship with your mother. Following in mom’s footsteps. Addressing women’s issues through the career. A person who makes a career out of addressing breast cancer. A career that involves protecting other people. Department of Defense. Defense lawyers. Defense attorneys. Feeling the need to defend your career choices. Feeling defensive about having to choose a career path. Making a career out of collecting antiques. Overly protective of your reputation and social standing. Overly protective of a parent. Being seen as dependent, clingy and immature.

XI Groups for creative and dramatic people. Actors’ guilds. Theater groups. Creative friends. Generous friends. Theater friends. Feeling the need to entertain your friends. The need to feel appreciated by your fans. Wanting entertaining and dramatic friends. Attracting fans who love drama, self-expression, and theatrics. Overly-dramatic fans. Fans who want attention too! Flamboyant and theatrical fans. Creative goals and dreams. Generous to causes. Giving to causes that support the creative arts. Attracting people who want a little stardust to rub off on them. Confident before masses of people. Inspiring confidence in masses of people. Mutual admiration society. Standing out from the crowd. Elite organizations. “Membership has its privileges.” Drama club. Business organizations. Fashion cliques. Groups of performers. Competing with friends for attention. Glamorous causes. Using star power to attract attention to causes. Using star power to influence social reform. Having performers and actors as friends. Warm, giving friendships. Causes on behalf of the performing arts.

XII Obsessive-compulsive about sleep. A picky sleeper. Exact specifications on how to sleep. Sleep analyst. Dream analyst. Someone who is critical of spirituality. Someone who studies spirituality. Someone who performs sleep studies. Healthy sleeping. Healthy dreaming. Healthy karma. A healthy relationship with ghosts and other paranormal phenomena. Inwardly critical and fault-finding. A lack of awareness of a deep inner need to be clean. Cleanliness, compulsiveness, and being a hypochondriac are the self-undoing. Self-deprecation is the self-undoing. Short-sightedness, pettiness and fault-finding are the self-undoing. Obsession with cleanliness attracts secret enemies. Efficiency, workaholic tendencies and a dutiful attitude attract secret enemies. Being health-conscious attracts secret enemies. Health-consciousness is the self-undoing. Skeptical of ghosts and paranormal activity. Skeptical of dreams. Skeptical of spirituality. Skeptical of meditation. Disciplined at meditation. Someone who meditates daily. Someone who treats meditation like a job. Technicians of the Sacred. A set sleep schedule. Wanting to feel clean from the inside out. Inwardly a cynic. Angels of Mercy. Nurses. Unselfish devotion to the sick, the imprisoned, and the mentally ill.the Retrogrades in my planets

Retrogrades

People born with Jupiter retrograde in their natal charts tend to have different or unusual perspectives, belief systems, or sets of morals. They prefer to learn from their own experiences and reactions to them, rather than from others. Because they don’t intrinsically have faith in being lucky, they are planners who worry about their future or consequences of their actions more than others. They may need to learn that they deserve what others might naturally feel entitled to.

People with Pluto retrograde in their birth charts may be more inclined to fear being controlled, manipulated, or betrayed by others than those with Pluto direct. There may be a tendency to keep these fears to themselves, as exposing them makes them feel more vulnerable. They don’t as readily let others know their desire for power or control, and might not be in touch with this desire a lot of the time.

[mysteriouslyzealouspandalov-blog]

8 Realistic And Fair Expectations You Can Put On Your Relationship

New Post has been published on https://relationshipguideto.com/must-see/8-realistic-and-fair-expectations-you-can-put-on-your-relationship/

8 Realistic And Fair Expectations You Can Put On Your Relationship

Modern relationships are such a mindfuck. We analyze and agonize over them. We scour the Internet in pursuit of them. We write about them. We try in vain to make sense of them. We run both towards and away from them. And perhaps most of all, we have a ton of expectations about them.

For years, I’ve absorbed what I’ve seen in movies and what I’ve heard about what happy relationships should look like. Combined with my insecurities, loneliness, and near inability to give myself the love I think I deserve from others, I always mentally create a set of expectations that I almost don’t even realize I’m carrying until it’s too late. But I also know that I’m not the only one who has them.

Time and experience has helped me debunk a majority of these, and I hope they serve as a welcome reminder to all the moody hopeless romantics of the world.

What we tend to expect: What we should expect instead:

Being showered with affection and praise is wonderful and should be expected to a reasonably extent (because you deserve to be adored), but it’s not your partner’s job to make you feel worthy. It’s yours. Although it may occasionally lead to discomfort and conflict, an honest partner is much more rewarding than a partner who simply tells you what you want to hear for the sake of keeping the peace.

Choose someone who calls you on your bullshit. Choose someone who challenges you. Choose someone who craves honest communication over superficial and easy-to-digest platitudes. We should all be with someone who helps transform us into the best person we can be, not someone who tells us we’re perfect just the way we are. No one is. You’re pretty great, but you could always improve yourself. Be with someone who isn’t afraid to tell you that.

What we tend to expect: What we should expect instead:

Good morning and goodnight texts with marathon conversations in between are lovely, especially during the early stages of a relationship. But it’s important to maintain productive and enriching lives outside of it. If your partner isn’t communicating with you nearly every second of every day, it doesn’t mean they don’t care. It simply means they have a life, and you’re simply a part of it. Frequent communication is necessary in a sense, but constant communication is not. If talking to your partner is taking up a majority of your time every day, ask yourself where that excess time and energy could be directed instead.

What we tend to expect: What we should expect instead:

No relationship should feel like an uphill battle, but you can damn well expect them to take hard work and dedication. People change, and obstacles present themselves. If you want a successful relationship, you have to work for it the same way you work for everything else in your life. And most of that work will be on yourself.

What we tend to expect: What we should expect instead:

You could spend 50 years with a person and still not know them. No matter how many traits you’ve discovered and how many layers you’ve peeled back, there will always be more to learn. It’s up to you to decide if this truth is inspiring or crippling. It’s a romantic notion to assume we know our partners better than they know themselves, but that’s justifiably impossible. Expect surprises. Some will be good, and some will be bad, but love is about learning to accept both.

What we tend to expect: What we should expect instead:

Rose-colored glasses will always fall off. No matter how wonderful a person may seem, they will eventually disappoint you sometimes greatly and in ways that seem unforgivable at the time. So expect plenty of flaws, but learn to love them anyway. Flaws are an inevitable part of every human package. It’s your job to figure out what you can live with.

What we tend to expect: What we should expect instead:

Life isn’t a Disney or a Hallmark movie. Don’t expect bells, whistles, flowers, grand apologies, and flash mob proposals. Those things happen, sure, but they’re not the norm. If you expect your partner to shout their love from the rooftops or go above and beyond to impress you, you will feel disappointed and they will feel pressured. It’s the little things that truly count the word of encouragement before the big job interview, the morning forehead kiss, the look you give each other when no one else understands your inside joke. These little moments can be magical if you’re willing to notice them.

What we tend to expect: What we should expect instead:

I don’t believe in love at first sight or divine messages from the universe that you’ve found your soulmate. Love rarely hits you like a bolt of lightning. Some of the best and most successful relationships started slowly and with little to no expectation. A slow and steady burn is so much more romantic than something that hits you all at once. And honestly, where’s the fun in that?

What we tend to expect: What we should expect instead:

Nothing lasts forever. Even if you’re extremely lucky enough to marry your partner and spend years and years with them, one of you will eventually die and leave the other behind. Impermanence is imminent, no matter what. Instead of wanting and expecting a love that lasts forever, embrace the love you have in this moment. After all, this moment is the only thing that truly belongs to you.

Read more: http://thoughtcatalog.com/

[sarahburness]

How to Stop Wanting to Be Thinner, Even If You’re Ambitious

“How pleasant is the day when we give up striving to be young or slender. ‘Thank God!’ we say, ‘those illusions are gone.’” ~Alain de Botton

Are you high functioning at school, college, or in your career, but dysfunctional with food? I was.

I’ve always been ambitious. I see things, and I wanna do them too, even better!

It’s a powerful trait, but unruly—like living with a big dog. Sometimes it strains on its leash and pulls you along further than you thought you’d go. And sometimes it knocks you onto the carpet and stands over you, panting, with its balls in your face.

That’s what happened when I got ambitious about getting thin—it floored me.

I tried to mold myself into someone who’d look good in leather pants, and became obsessed and depressed around food.

Leather pants!!!

Exhale. Part of me—that dog jumping up again—still gets excited about becoming supermodel-skinny. But I have to let it go.

Because when I was twelve, I tried to lose weight, even though I didn’t need to. Compulsive overeating entered my life, and dominated my teens.

Up until then, I had a great formula for success: Grades = intelligence + sacrifice.

For instance, I swore to become top of my class. So I holed myself up in my bedroom and made weekends into homework-ends.

The more awards I got, the more I believed self-punishment paid off. I worried if I didn’t push myself to extremes, I’d fall short.

One thing I sacrificed, other than fresh air, was popularity. My ‘A’ grades were social suicide. Other kids found me haughty and tried to bring me down, taunting me about my acne, and my ‘posh’ accent.

My only friend was the silent type—I suspected she was inwardly laughing at me. I was totally insecure.

So I relied on adults saying “Well done” to feel okay. Being average wasn’t enough. I had to be impressive; make the bullies sorry.

I wasn’t overweight, but I was lonely, and I’d started comfort-eating meat pies at lunchtimes. So I already thought “I should eat less.”

And since I couldn’t make my spots disappear, and friendship confused me, I reached for a ‘doable’ transformation: I thought if I could nail weight loss, that’d be like a fairy godmother’s magic wand.

So I deliberately poured all my ambition into one extreme goal: “I’m gonna get showstoppingly skinny, so everyone’ll be impressed.”

My mum was a hippie feminist. She would’ve been horrified. I already secretly ‘borrowed’ my dad’s razor to do my armpits, because she didn’t think women should shave; she didn’t agree with society’s beauty standards! So, what could be more rebellious than worshipping models?

Leather pants became my benchmark after I saw a particular fashion article, ironically titled “Chocaholic.” The theme was “how to wear brown,” and the model wore a white shirt and brown leather jeans.

She was blonde (like me), tall (like me), and leggy (not so like me). I was pretty sure if my thighs didn’t touch anymore, I could be her.

So I made a plan, and not just to stop yomping meat pies. I vowed to skip school lunch completely.

It made perfect sense in my head: No food, and nobody would know, or stop me. But… I hadn’t factored in my body! I wasn’t prepared for gnawing hunger.

That first day I tried it, I panicked I wouldn’t get through the day.

I begged my friend for pennies. She gave me 25p, with a wry smile. I bought chocolate biscuits from a shop near school. She thought they looked cheap and nasty, but I ate the whole packet.

That was the pattern from the off: I’d create rules and then cave in and eat whatever.

I found myself binge eating for the next seven years.

Sometimes I’d make myself sick. But mostly, afterward, I’d just be full to bursting, and feel so guilty I’d want to curl up in a ball.

Guilty, 24/7. Waking up guilty. Guilty about yesterday’s food, and guilty for wanting breakfast.

If I ate, I’d failed. And since I hadn’t had experienced much failure before, I took it to heart.

By the time I was nineteen that sense of failure had spread. I needed constant affirmation from my boyfriend, I hid under my duvet instead of studying for my college exams, I was competitive and jealous of my (luckily forgiving) friends, and I’d become too scared to audition for drama school, which was my dream for afterward.

I hadn’t stopped being an ambitious person—I still had sky high expectations—but that only made me want to eat more, because while I was putting food in my mouth, I was free from living up to my own standards for a few minutes.

I’d eat until I had to lie down, and I spent days and days in bed—stuffed, daunted, and depressed. I felt ugly, worthless, ashamed, and like I didn’t deserve love at all.

Something had to give.

I had to find a way back to ‘normal’ around food. Normal, which had once been such a boring, unexceptional way to be, now seemed wishful.

I thought: “I’d give anything, just to be able to enjoy food again, and not feel guilty.”

I leapt at my new ambition. Got books. Threw myself into the homework. Journaled, examined my beliefs about myself.

At first, I didn’t give up wanting to lose weight. I just committed myself to my new mission, and that sidelined my desire to get thinner.

But that was enough.

If you’d told me one day I’d enjoy eating a few meals and snacks each day, and not really think much about food in between, I’d have said, “Whoa. Steady on!” But here I am, and I’ve set my desire to get skinny aside permanently.

Sure, I still get that “leather pants thought” occasionally. But I don’t have to jump aboard every train of thought that passes through my head.

It doesn’t feel like giving up, or admitting defeat. It’s liberating.

I haven’t stopped wanting to be healthy, but I have stopped asking my body to leap hurdles it can’t handle.

I respect my biology now, and the powerful survival urges it’ll react with, if I starve it.

So if you’re struggling with your eating, maybe it’s worth weighing up whether you’re wasting precious energy trying to “be successful” with your body.

You don’t have to wait until you’re desperate before you get sane around food. Just reset the bar. Make smarter choices about what you pour your ambition into.

And if you’re thinking, “But I’ve wanted to be thinner most of my life—it’s part of who I am!” I totally get that.

I’m not saying it’s easy to change your own mind. Sometimes you have to coax yourself.

So here are four thoughts that help me stop wanting to be thinner. I’m pretty sure they’ll help you too.

1. I’m becoming my best natural weight.

So far, when I eat normally and look after my body and my sanity, I’m really happy with where my weight lands. I call this my “best natural weight.” It’s a great place to aim instead of trying to get thinner.

I don’t concentrate on my body size.

I have loads else to focus on. Like eating mindfully. And feeling my feelings.

I can focus on getting strong. That’s fun—I can enjoy movement, without worrying about how many calories I’ve burned.

I can also focus on thinking positive thoughts like “I really care about my body” so I feel encouraged to look after myself.

2. I don’t gamble with my natural confidence.

When I embarked upon my dubious quest to get skinny, it was the impulsive voice of my (over)confidence that urged me to do it.

But my naïve arrogance also has an upside.

It has enabled me to move abroad, make several theater shows, have children, and buy a hillside to build a house on. Without really knowing what’s involved, I plunge in and try things!

Sadly, by my last year of college, when my eating was at its worst, failure with food had destroyed all the optimism that usually goes hand in hand with my confidence.

We think getting a head-turning body will give us confidence. We don’t realize that for most of us, the quest to get that body will cost us our confidence.

My confidence is buoyant again now, but I won’t stake it on another body project.

3. I’m searching for a more meaningful life purpose.

It was trivial, and vain, and superficial, just aching to be thinner than I was made to be.

But it didn’t feel like I had a choice: I’d wake up, remember there was something I was depressed about, feel ugly and horrible, and then wonder how to stop myself eating today.

It didn’t make sense—I’d read feminist writers like Naomi Wolf! Although it was hypocritical, I still wanted to be thinner.

That’s because it’s impossible to tell yourself to not focus on something; it’s like trying to look away from a spider!

But the second I had a new focus—getting sane around food—everything changed.

I threw myself into friendships like never before. Started cooking meals to share. I had fun, and started exercising for fun too.

I felt like I had energy to start thinking about the world, and even annotated a global politics textbook. Which was taking things a bit far.

But the point is, for the first time in years I could think about what I wanted to do with my life.

What would you do with all that energy, if you weren’t dieting?

4. I think, “This food struggle isn’t a handicap. I’m OVERfunctioning.”

If you’re doing well in most areas aside from eating, it’s easy to feel like your food struggle is your Achilles’ heel.

Thinking like this makes you feel like a victim.

In reality, you don’t have a fatal flaw. You’re not missing a willpower gene. You’re just trying to exert your intelligence, talents, and strengths over something you can’t master—your body.

But no wonder you try to control it! Think about what’s expected of you at work or school.

When you work in a goal-oriented, intellectual way, it’s unsurprising you also try to boss your body, by making rules about what you should eat.

When you’re competitive enough to climb the hierarchy of your career, is it any wonder you compare your appearance to others? Or get tempted to copy your friends’ “you-gotta-try-this-juice-fast” transformations?

When you’re expected to be businesslike rather than emotional, is it any surprise that you’re skillful at keeping your feelings under wraps, even if it requires using food as a crutch?

When you work within a meritocracy, it’s easy to think if you’re not being successful with your body, it’s just because you’re not working hard enough. So you try and try again. But the body isn’t a blank canvas for you to make a masterpiece of.

Your body isn’t a job, either.

I know it sounds obvious, but we forget that it’s a living thing It has its own wisdom, and a mind-bogglingly complex—miraculous, even—set of chemical processes (including hunger, satiety, digestion, hormones, immunity, for example) that it performs without us handing it any to-do list.

—

Your food obsession might not feel like a good thing right now.

I’m not saying mine was fun either, but my struggle did stop me in my tracks, and it forced me to pay myself attention to myself.

If it nudges you to weigh up how you define success, create self-worth, and deal with emotional and stressful experiences, maybe that’s a tiny plus.

And I know it’s hard to let go of being thinner if it’s something you’ve invested years of your life trying to achieve. But when you stop trying to become someone you’re not, it’s easier to trust and believe in yourself.

That confidence pays off in other places. Who knows? It might translate into asking for a pay rise, sharing your feelings, having deeper relationships, or being brave enough to hit the high notes when you belt out “Let It Go” in your next audition.

Food and body sanity aren’t a consolation prize for people who can’t ‘make it’ to supermodel status, and have to accept boring old reality.

It’s a choice, for people who are smart and curious.

And P.S.: They make leather pants in every imaginable size.

About Laura Lloyd

Laura Lloyd is a food sanity coach, as well as an illustrator. You can grab a FREE copy of her book, “How to Ditch Dieting, Love Your Body and Be Your Best Weight Always,” here!

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from Tiny Buddha https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-stop-wanting-to-be-thinner-even-if-youre-ambitious/

[graceivers]

Review #66 - Close to You

Close to You Author: Kristen Proby Genre: Contemporary Romance, Military, Pregnancy & Babies Rating: ★★½ Recommendation: not worth it; once was enough Summary: Camilla LaRue has had a crush on Landon Palazzo since forever to the point that it more or less ruined her previous marriage. Despite believing that Landon would never see her in that way, Cami just might get her chance now that Landon’s career as a Navy pilot is officially over.

Female Lead: Did I just read two books in a row where the female lead was named Cami/Cammie? Yes, I did. And despite the fact that I should not compare them, oh, one far outshine the other.

Simply, I did not like Cami. I found her a little childish, immature, and rather vain. It was a very bad thing when the things I noticed about Cami that made her a discernible character were things that disappointed me and made me roll my eyes. She was clumsy and fell all over the place so Landon could catch her so they would have close body contact? She preferred heels because she wanted to look good? She hated underwear and never wore it because panty lines? She wanted a massive closet for her shoes? These descriptions screamed vain and superficial and did not create a character I liked. And just like that, I did not want to invest in Cami. She had a horrible and totally not endearing woe-is-me attitude when she was supposed to be this successful and independent woman. Worse, her reaction when things got tough were so dramatic—nearly cringeworthy. Basically, she acted like a brat. Considering her age, career, and all that jazz? Yeah, I was not a fan. Male Lead: Landon fell into the ‘almost’ category. There were hints of a deeper character and story, but none of that was ever developed. Proby could’ve explored more of his Navy career, could’ve better illustrated his struggle with his injury forcing him to leave the armed forces, could’ve delved deeper into the conflict of not knowing where his life and career stood and where he wanted to settle. But no. Proby didn’t do any of that, which left Landon an extremely bland and two-dimensional character. I wanted to like Landon; I thought I could have. In the end, he was a boring prop—significantly undeveloped and more or less only existing to make Cami’s romantic dreams come true. Plot & Writing: I was surprisingly disappointed by Close to You. I had read the first book in this series and remembered it was decent. Close to You was a letdown, then. The writing was cliche and trite. The conflict Proby thrown in there at the end was dumb for a lack of a better word. The plot and characters were very undeveloped. The relationship felt rushed and forced even for two characters who were supposed to know each other so well having known each other for so long. All of that subsequently led to a not so great read for me.

I don’t want to talk more about the characters than I already have, so I’ll just say a few things about the relationship between Cami and Landon. It felt random; it was a little out of the blue. I got that Cami had a crush on Landon since forever. For Proby to throw in the most obscure little nugget that Landon was also totally into Cami when they were young but didn’t want to mess with her then was a huge cop-out. It was like Proby inserted that information into the book so she felt like she wouldn’t have to flesh out the characters and their relationship more.  It was a mistake. I didn’t feel the connection between Cami and Landon much at all. And then to throw in a marriage proposal at the end? Bleh. Rushed. Trite. Bad.

And hey, let me just throw this in there since there was a semi-significant pregnancy storyline in the book. No condom! No safe sex! They only realized they didn’t use protection after the fact? My eyes could not have rolled any further back than they did at that moment. At least the potential consequences of their actions were addressed in the book, which of course was the pregnancy storyline. But that whole thing seemed like a waste of time. I have zero problems with pregnancy storylines and those that might end as unfortunately as Cami’s, but I genuinely felt as if Proby didn’t know what to do with this book and her characters and the relationship so she threw in this trite little plot to poorly manufacture conflict that she resolved far too quickly in favor of a disillusioned happy ending. Favorite Part(s): I really don’t know. Maybe Mia and Jake yelling at each other about who gets to cook on the grill. Yeah. Two secondary characters in a shorter than short scene together. That was my favorite part. Final Thoughts: To be honest, Close to You kind of killed my vibe for the rest of the series. Again, I remember relatively liking the first one when I read it way back when, but this one was less than enjoyable for me. The book was rushed and undeveloped and unfortunately did not catch my attention or support. Close to You is not really worth it unless you’re a big fan of the series and/or the author. If you are not in the latter category, I suggest you skip.