#extremely bad. hurts to watch. I always forget that its worse than i remember

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

I might actually skip this week's mar thh vod. good GOD chapter 2 is hard to watch

[voltronisanobsession]

I know this has already been done but I want YOUR take on this…can I pretty plz get headcanons of the paladins (or just Keith Pidge and Lance) accidentally hurting their s/o bad enough to send them to the healing pods…? How would they spend their time while waiting for them to wake up? Angsty with a fluffy ending…? THANK YOU ILYSM 🥹❤️‍🔥

Paladins Accidentally Injuring Reader

STOP CUZ IM A SUCKER FOR ANGSTY STUFF LIKE THIS💀💀💀 I decided to do ALL of them cuz why not💯💯 also sorry for taking so long to answer, this was sitting in my drafts for awhile, procrastination is not fun😔🙏💔💔 another also, I didn’t proofread this yet but I promise I will💔

Keith

It all happened so quickly Keith had no idea what had happened

He remembered he was fighting one of Zarkon’s men, relentlessly attacking him with his sword when all of a sudden you came into the picture

While he was on overdrive, the Galra general had taken ahold of you when you tried attacking him from his side, swinging you in front of him

In front of Keith’s brutal attacks…

Using you as a human shield, Keith had no time to stop his sword from swinging down on you

While you did try to stop his attack with your dagger, his force was too strong, resulting in his sword slicing into your shoulder all the way down to your stomach

Keith could never forget the piercing scream you let out

Frozen is shock and horror, he was kicked backwards by the Galra, hearing his footsteps quickly fading from both of you

“Y/N!”

He is a MESS when he gets to you

His hands shake as he tries to apply pressure to your wound, but it’s just too large

His vision just zeros on your face as tears stain your cheeks. Despite whimpering in pain, you want to reassure him that you’re fine, but he doesn’t let you move an inch

By the time the rest of the group gets to him, Keith is too frantic and a bit unstable for him to think correctly

“GET AWAY!”

The group has no idea how to handle this situation as they watch him cradle your now passed-out body, his body shaking from the adrenaline of needing to protect you from anything else

“Keith, listen to me. We need to take Y/N to the castle now if we want them to survive. We can’t do that if you won’t let us help you.”

Shiro is literally the only person who can bring Keith back to earth, words hitting him like a train as he looks down at your body, watching as you take shallow breathes

Keith does not let anyone near you, not in your fragile state. He carries you all the to the castle, whispering apologies as your face twists in pain from every move

Once getting you to the pod room, he only allows Allura and Pidge in the room to help him set up your body and change you into a bodysuit

While you’re in the healing pod, he’s always sitting nearby, waiting in silence for you, hating himself for hurting you so badly

Despite you being out of commission, Voltron still needed to continue its mission

During this time, Keith pushes himself to the absolute MAX

Purposely puts himself in danger, not caring how hurt he gets because nothing can compare to what you had to go through

In a way, this is his own way of punishing himself for hurting the person he cared for

Keith won’t even listen to Shiro, brushing him off whenever the man offered to help patch him up after a more brutal mission

The team definitely gets worried when he begins straying from missions entirely, almost purposely trying to find danger at every corner

So once he finds out you’re out of the healing pod, he is extremely hesitant to see you

But he practically runs to you when Allura tells him you wanted to see him

Seeing him all bruised up upsets you once you find out what he’s been doing

He doesn’t care though, he’s immediately groveling at your feet, apologizing as his eyes slowly filled with unshed tears

“I’m sorry Y/N. I’m so sorry, I hurt you, worse than anyone else I-“

You pull him into a crushing hug, feeling him tense up but slowly relax in your embrace

“None of this was your fault, ok Keith? You may not forgive yourself but I never blamed you for anything.”

You need to comfort Keith so much because this boy almost lost the last familiar person he loved

It takes some time for him to feel secure with you again but the progress you make is enough to set him back in motion

Lots of physical contact occurs now since Keith needs to know that you’re actually with him

He is 100% more protective over you now, always keeping an eye on you when out on missions and protectively standing in front of you during battles

Lance

Lance felt like he was going to throw up

He watched as you quickly were thrown down to the ground, breath caught in his lungs as you laid there unmoving

He was trying to aim for one of the guards that was originally standing in your place, but they had moved last second once they saw him aiming at them

He had no idea that you were right behind the guard, so all he could do was watch in horror as his blast hit your chest, knocking you out in one swift moment

Oh,how he hoped it only knocked you out

Shiro had quickly ran over to your body, checking your neck for a pulse before he abruptly got up, attacking one of the sentries who was aiming at you

Lance was already running to you, sliding over and immediately clutching onto your body

His eyes watered, not able to focus on anything else except your short, shallow breaths

“LANCE YOU NEED TO TAKE THEM BACK TO THE CASTLE! QUICK, I’LL COVER YOU!”

Shiro’s voice brought him back to reality as he picked your body up bridal style and made a dash for his lion

Lance would be so worried over you once they put you in one of the healing pods

He would distance himself from the group immediately afterwards, almost running to his room to just let out the emotions

Oh god, he almost killed you

Lance would be inconsolable during all this, he wouldn’t eat any of Hunk’s food, ignore Keith’s comments that would normally set him over the end, and just not focus on Shiro’s attempts in comforting him

He would spend the days you spend in the pod wandering and moping around the halls of the castle, feeling absolutely terrible for what he did to you

He would sit quietly as your pod door opened, watching from afar as Pidge helped you from falling over

You would notice how everyone around you seemed relieve you see but the one person you really wanted to see stood by the entrance of the room

Lance would not be able to look you in the eyes

“Lance…”

Now he’s a crying mess💔💔

“Y/N! I’m-I’m sorry! If you had actually-“

He just feels awful for what he had done, accident or not

You would stumble over to him, hugging him and feeling as he clutched onto you

His sobs sound throughout the room, the group looking with remorseful eyes, seeing how much this had actually affected him

“You didn’t know Lance. No one could have known that would happen.”

Lance would not be able to leave your side for a few days afterwards

He would still be quiet, but he would slowly begin going back to his usual self

Though during the night, he would get nightmares on the event, only your sweet whisperings could lull him back to a peaceful sleep

After the near death experience, he feels much more aware of his surroundings and how he used his gun

He just cares so much for you, he doesn’t know what he would do if you got hurt like that again

Pidge

Things were going rough for the paladins during their mission, they were slowly losing control on the battle

Seeing an opportunity in front of her, Pidge noticed an electric column near her, already devising a plan

She would wrap her bayards cord around the column, making it an electric extension and have it thrown to their large enemy

It was perfect, until it wasn’t

Not getting the timing right, Pidge quickly threw her bayard to the column, watching the electricity travel through the cord and flying straight to the beast

Except you had jump in front of the beast, hoping to get a hit in, not even realizing the electric cord heading your way

All Pidge could do was yell out your name in horror

“Y/N NO!”

You quickly turned around, eyes wide when you saw what was heading towards you and unable to dodge the electrified weapon

The group could only watch with shocked faces as you screamed out in pain, watching the electricity course through your body

Being the one near a control panel, Keith slashed the entire system, hoping that would at least turn off the electricity

“TEAM FALL BACK!”

Shiro ran towards you, picking up your limp body from the ground and pushing Pidge to run out of the room and into their lions

Her hands shook with fear

She didn’t mean for this to happen. She thought she would be helping everyone. But all she could envision was your body twitching from the last of the electricity leaving your body

Tears formed in her eyes as she let out sobs, ignoring everything else around her, even the concerned words of her paladins

She would be the first one out of her lion, watching with puffy eyes as Shiro quickly took you to the healing pods, not bothering in changing you into a body suit

She would do anything Allura and him asked her to do regarding you

She would ask if there’s anything she can do

She just feels awful like this poor girl :(

Once hearing how long you’d have to stay in the healing pod, she definitely shuts down

It’s almost like she’s a robot, choosing to lock herself away in her room not wanting to see anyone

To distract herself from her guilt and remorse, she buries herself in any new and old projects

Despite clicking away at her laptop, she wouldn’t be able to stay away from you.

Sits out of your pod staring off into space

No matter how many times the group asks, she never tells them how she truly feels

No, they shouldn’t be asking her if she was ok

This was her fault. It was her fault that you had to stay in there, hopefully no longer in pain

Pidge would be the first to know that you’re out since she’s been waiting this entire time

Doesn’t speak a word to you as she helps you out and settles you on one of the stairs

Both of you would sit in silence before you decide to take her hand

“That wasn’t your fault Pidge. It was a smart idea, I was just there at the wrong time.”

Tears would down her face as she would lean her body against yours

“I’m sorry…”

Pidge would lose some confidence in herself, needing your help in building it back up

She would linger behind you now, not wanting to make the same mistakes

Would hold your hand to help her calm down, to know that you’re ok now

Give her lots of hugs man, she needs the support cuz her brain is not the best place to be when she still blames herself for hurting you :((((

Hunk

The Galra took the entire team by surprise while they were busy helping the residents of the planet they were on

Chaos fell throughout the area, the paladins rushing towards the lions to protect the innocent civilians

Despite you being sent to help shelter civilians, Hunk couldn’t help but worry over your safety

Normally you two would be hip to hip next to each other, so not having you near him really put him on edge

While attacking Galra fleets, the yellow paladin wouldn’t be conscious of the small figure running by a cliff nearby

It would be too late for Hunk to react to the rocks that were blasted by his lions beams as they came crashing down on you

His eyes widen in horror as he saw the pieces of rock fall around, watching as you held your shield up in a pathetic way of protecting yourself, only to lose sight of you when a particularly large rock fell over you

“NO!”

His panic would be through the roof as he would leave the rest of the paladins to fight off the galra

Shaky breaths from him are louder than the voices he hears from the comms of his helmet

“Hunk where are you going?!”

“Hunk we need you here now!”

“Guys I need some backup!”

This poor boy would be so overwhelmed with the others voices and trying to find you under all the rubble he unknowingly blasted on you

Yanking his helmet off and tossing it, he would instead focus on digging you out, sighing in relief once he finds you battered up, yet still breathing

Silent tears would travel his face as the yellow lion gently takes you in its mouth, making the difficult decision to leave behind his friends

He could only hope they would forgive him as he hears the panicked and furious yells coming from his helmet

Once at the castle, he would run through the halls to the healing pods, being careful to not hurt you any further

Hunk would fully blame himself

He just feels awful about the condition you’re in, babbling out what had happened as Coran propped you in a pod

“There was nothing you could have done, Hunk.” Coran’s reassuring hand on his shoulder wouldn’t help with his inner turmoil, especially once the rest of the team barges in

“Hunk! You just totally left us out there!” Lance hadn’t a clue what had happened

Overwhelmed, the team could only watch as tears and sniffles came from Hunk

After the event, Hunk would definitely be distant from the team

While the others would try to cheer him up, nothing could really bring him out of his head

The team would notice how he almost resembled a zombie during meetings and missions, on autopilot since that fateful day

In order to distract himself from his own feelings, Hunk would spend most of his free time cooking and baking

Though no matter how much dishes he cooks, everyone notices how each meal seems to be a bit off, never really tasting or looking right

He would also spend a lot of his time sitting in front of you, kinda having mini conversations with you (even though you can’t respond💔)

Hunk can’t sleep at night either since he gets waken up by his nightmares, constantly seeing your fragile body hiding underneath all the rubble in his dreams

I feel so bad for him because literally no one could have expected you to be caught in the crossfire of the battle

Shiro would try to talk to him, but his words would go in one ear and out the other, resulting in Hunk staring off into the distance with a reminiscent look im his eyes

One particular night though, his nightmare would scare him too much, not allowing him to go to sleep anymore

Rubbing his eyes in exhaustion, Hunk walks to the kitchen in the dead of night, needing to snack on something to distract himself from his pounding heart

Hearing footsteps, he would look over his shoulder from the fridge to see who else needed something to eat only to widen his eyes

“Y/N?”

Leaning on the entrance, your tired eyes met with his tired ones, and you would stumble towards him

Hunk puts down his food to quickly run over to you, helping you to a seat as his eyes shined with unshed tears

“What’s wrong Hunk? Did something happen?”

The way your hands rubbed under his eyes did not stop even when he closed his eyes, allowing his tears to finally fall

The room, lit only by the open fridge, filled with the sounds of Hunks sniffling as you drew him into a hug from your seat

“I thought that I had k-killed-“

“Hey. Don’t say that. I’m here, I’m alive, and that’s all that should matter.”

Taking a shaky breath, Hunk would pull away, bringing your hands back to his face as his head leaned into them

“I know. I’m just really, really sorry. I should have payed more attention.”

“It’s ok Hunk. If anything, I should be sorry, I shouldn’t have run into a clear danger zone.”

Hunk preps you a quick meal before taking you to bed, insisting you need as much rest as possible

He sleeps peacefully at last once he has you in his arms💔💔💔

Expect lots of hand-holding and hugs from this dude

He needs a lot of reassurance from you to remind him that you’re actually there next to him

Cooks you so much food, putting so much effort into each meals and making everything beyond your standards

(The team is definitely happy over this, now that they don’t have to eat any more space goo💀)

Would be protective of you the first few days since you’ve woken up, he’s just really paranoid of you getting injured like that again :(

Since that event, Hunk would be extremely cautious of his surroundings, making sure to avoid any more preventable injuries to those around him

Shiro

He has no idea what had happened

One minute he’s fighting alongside you against the sentries shooting at the two of you and the next he’s slammed you against a wall

He tries fighting himself from hurting you any further but the loud whisperings in his head seem to take control of his body

In that moment, you don’t recognize the man standing in front of you

Ducking and stumbling away, you quickly evade Shiro’s glowing hand, watching in horror as it goes through the wall

“SHIRO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

His crazed eyes makes contact with yours, once again rushing towards you

In the corner of your eye you see a figure vanishing in thin air, realizing it might have been the witch Allura had told you all about

Distracted, Shiro manages to land a blow on your side causing you to grunt in pain and go tumbling towards the ground

You barely roll away before his fist meets the spot you once were at

“SHIRO PLEASE! THIS ISN’T YOU!”

You’re words don’t seem to have any affect on him as he’s up once again and heading straight towards you

As much as you hate the thought, you know you have to protect yourself from him as he’s too dangerous in the state he’s in

You’re dagger clashes against his metal arm, his strength slowly over powering you because of your injured arm

Kicking your side, Shiro’s narrowed eyes meet yours before he’s picking you up the ground

You grip his metal hand as it tightens around your neck, your breathing becoming shallow as he cuts off your airway

“Shiro… I forgive you…” You knew this wasn’t you’re Shiro, the man you knew coming out for a moment when you saw his eyes widen in surprise before going straight back to the dull black ones that stared straight through you

It was only when Lance began shooting at him out of no where did he throw you against a wall, officially knocking you out

Keith slammed his body against Shiro’s causing the two of them to crash on the ground, trying to over power the other

Then that’s when his head was finally able to clear up and stop fighting against Keith

“What’s going on? Why are we fighting?”

Everyone would stare in disbelief before quickly explaining what happened, Hunk already carrying your body towards the group, shielding you from the eyes of Shiro

He would stare in shock at the state of your body though, flashes of what might’ve happened going through his mind

Heading back to the castle, everyone would still be on edge around him

Seeing what he had done to you, this man does some serious evaluations on himself

How could he possibly hurt you, someone he cared for, this much?

Seeing the bruises forming on your neck scares him

If he did this to you, Shiro can’t imagine how far he would’ve gone if he wasn’t stopped in time

During your time in the healing pod, Shiro would distance himself from the team as he doesn’t fully trust himself enough around them, fearing he might hurt them all as well

He visits you daily, but once one of the other paladins enters the room he’s quickly excusing himself and walking away

He feels EXTREMELY guilty over what he did, going through many sleepless nights

He had almost killed you

He is harsher on the team during missions as well since he doesn’t want a repeat of what had happened with you

He is way harsher on himself too

Spends his time in the training room, tiring himself out with the gladiator, pushing his body past its limit

Still remembers what you said to him, so while you said you forgave him, I don’t think he would ever be able to forgive himself for hurting you

The team would notice the strain on them when Shiro began distancing himself from them

He was the one who put them all together so it really hurt them to see him struggle with the recent event

Once you finally awake from the pods, Shiro is the last one to greet you

You notice how he stands at a distance which causes you to narrow your eyes

“What’s wrong Shiro?”

The way you immediately notice his coldness causes his fake smile to strain

It never ceased to amaze him how you could see past him

He would explain his concerned to you once everyone decided to give you both privacy, how he was afraid of losing control again, how he had almost killed you

What had happened made him uncomfortable, knowing the power he held with his arm

You smile sadly as him reaching for his metal hand, faltering when he slightly moved it away from you

Sadness filled his eyes as he glanced to his arm before letting you take his hand

“I don’t blame you for anything Shiro. I know that wasn’t you, I know the real you. You would rather sacrifice your own life to save one of us, so please don’t be so harsh on yourself. You couldn’t control what happened.”

“Exactly. I couldn’t control what happened, I couldn’t control my own body.”

Your reunion was bittersweet to say the least

He is much more cautious around you

Keeps his distance for a few days before ultimately choosing to stay by your side

He wants to do anything to make up for your injuries

Much more softer around you and the others now that he knows you’re ok💔

Allura

“Allura what are you doing?!”

The mission the team was on was extremely crucial since, if successful, they would be able to retrieve valuable intel on Zarkons plans (ooo so original)

And it involved taking down his witch, Haggar

Allura was all for the plan and took it very serious

She believed this was one of their most important missions yet

So while it did surprise the group on how brutal the princess was in fighting her way to Haggar, no one really tried to stop her, knowing just how much it meant for them to get this information

Yet you could see the danger her aggressive behavior was dragging her in

You’d jump in front of her, trying to stop her from pushing herself too far

“Y/N what are you doing?! We must stop that witch from getting away!”

Allura was on a one track kind, take down Haggar and get any useful info from her, but you were making it extremely difficult to do so

Blinded by her own needs, she didn’t take into account of how hard she had thrown you to the ground away from her when she managed to wrap her bayard around you

Running from your injured self to Haggard, she was yanked to the ground

“Allura watch out!”

She could only watch in shock as you dashed in front of her from the ground to protect her from the blast Haggard sent

Her hands shook as she watched your body hit the ground

Haggar was getting ready to blast you both again, forcing Allura to attempt to drag you away before a searing pain filled her body, causing her to crumble down to the ground beside you

Tears filled her eyes as she watched in pain as your breathing became ragged

You both were in this situation because of her

Allura was forced to watch as the witch made her escape, the mission resulting in a failure

After getting help from the paladins and returning to the house of lions, Allura would immediately distance herself from everyone

She’s not only disappointed in herself for costing the team their mission, but she feels terrible for putting your life at such a high risk, all because she didn’t know when to stop

She would mostly lock herself up in her room while you spend your time in the healing pods

Whenever someone tried to approach her door, they would only be met with the sound of her soft sobs

When she isn’t in her room though, Allura is extremely harsh and temperamental with the others

She doesn’t know how to properly release her emotions which causes her to lash out often to those around her

She would be too afraid to visit you in the healing bay

She feels too ashamed to face you, even if you aren’t really conscious

I also think she would brush aside any concern the team may show for her, instead, trying to keep up her image as a strong leader

(Which isn’t working out, everyone can see she’s basically a ticking time bomb)

Allura pushes herself even harder now during missions and battles, which is lowkey kinda hypocritical of her since that’s what got her in that position in the first place

After briefly talking with Keith, Allura would find herself in the training deck, hoping to relieve some of her pent up emotions with the gladiator

Maxing out to the highest possible level, the princess managed to tire herself out, not having enough energy to beat the machine

Grunting in pain, she waited for the gladiator to land a hit on her before she heard the voice of the person she was dreading to see

“End training sequence!”

You would run to her and cradle her body, concern written all over your face

Despite putting you in danger and managing to hurt you in the process, you still cared for her well-being

Tears well up in the princesses eyes before she gave you a crushing hug

Feeling her body shake against yours, you gently wrap your arms around her, whispering soothing words

“I almost got you killed…”

“I’m still here, are’t I?”

Allura would definitely learn a lot through that experience

She would stop pushing herself so hard and begin relying on her team to assist her during missions

She would also linger around you more often than not

She still feels incredibly guilty for what she put you through, but doesn’t tell you (you know though💔)

I also think that she MIGHT be more open to physical affection in front of the others since she needs to confirm that you’re still alive and popping

Holding your hand is something that she does a lot now since it soothes her heart knowing you’re still with her

Expect her to be a little more protective of you though, she does not want you to be in such a critical state again

She doesn’t want to lose you too :(

[isatswap]

(full in stars and time game spoilers. huge ones. very.)

(also death, dehumanisation, suicide and extreme self hatred cw)

(also sorry for the stanky drawings, i really needed them but i have neither skill nor energy to make them good)

giving up

TTOS version of the MAL DU PAYS fight from ISAT

(...?)

(Where are you...?)

(Where is The Scary Lady?)

(Where is everyone?)

(!)

(There is someone there...)

<BATTLE START!>

(Two figures stand before you.)

(One of them resembles Siffrin.)

(And the other....)

(...)

(You strike.)

<IMMUNE>

(MAL DU PAYS is silent.)

(HAINE DE SOI is covering its mouth.)

(Your attacks have no effect...)

(But all you can do is keep attacking.)

<Mindless attacking.>

(...)

(Why aren't they saying anything?)

(MAL DU PAYS watches your movements.)

(HAINE DE SOI mimics a Scissors sign.)

Loop: (...) "Hey..."

(...)

(MAL DU PAYS does not blink.)

(HAINE DE SOI smiles.)

Loop: (...) "Hey."

(...)

(MAL DU PAYS stares at you.)

(HAINE DE SOI shows its teeth.)

Loop: "HEY!!!" Loop: "DON'T JUST STAND HERE SILENTLY, JUDGING ME!" Loop: "TALK TO ME! DON'T IGNORE ME! SAY SOMETHING!!!"

(The figure on the left whispers something to the figure on the right.)

(The figure on the right opens its mouth...)

(and speaks.)

Odile: Loop... Odile: Loop. Odile: Loop!

(Dile...?)

Odile: Loop, why.... Odile: Why did you protect me, all of those times? Odile: ...You should have let me die, Loop. Odile: You know I was miserable, back then.

(No, no, you couldn't have, you--)

Odile: Instead, I live. Having to suffer seeing you in pain. Odile: ....It's not like I haven't died though, right?

(!!!)

Odile: You have let me die before. Odile: Worse, you are the reason I've died. Odile: It hurt a lot, Loop! I could still feel all of it. Odile: .... Odile: It hurt worse than if I've never knew anyone. Odile: If I have never known you. Odile: If you wanted to protect me so badly... Odile: Why didn't you just die, Loop? Die instead of me? Odile: But instead of protecting me.... you decided to try to "make me stronger". As if I needed it. Odile: As if I needed your help. Odile: As if I needed you. Odile: ....But no one does.

Odile: NO ONE NEEDS YOU!!!

(!!!)

(No, that can't--)

(Odile would never say something like this.)

(ODILE WOULD NEVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS!!!)

(MAL DU PAYS breathes in, and out.)

(HAINE DE SOI puts on a grin.)

(The left figure points at its hat.)

(The right figure nods, and opens its mouth...)

Bonnie: Loop...

(Bonbon's voice...?)

Bonnie: Loop. Bonnie: I've trusted you, Loop. Bonnie: I thought we could accept you into our group. Bonnie: ...But alas, the truth always comes out. Bonnie: You are nothing else than a bad apple. Bonnie: Rotten to the core. Bonnie: And I know that we have never been friends. Bonnie: After all... Bonnie: Aren't we just puppets to you? To toy with? Bonnie: To play your perfect drama with? Bonnie: You can't even imagine us having our own lives, outside of your scope. Bonnie: ...I have a sister back in Bambouche, remember? Probably not. You forget everything about us. Bonnie: I can't believe I've ever wanted to show her a monster like you. Bonnie: A monster who does all these things and then prays to a deity for forgiveness. Bonnie: A deity of a forgotten country. Bonnie: ...I hope we forget you just like we did that land.

(!!!)

(No, no, no, you don't want that)

(You don't want to be forgotten)

(You want to stay with them)

(No!!!)

(Bonnie is kind, they would understand, they would never try to forget you, this is just--)

(THIS ISNT REAL!!!)

(MAL DU PAYS cries silently.)

(HAINE DE SOI smiles wide.)

(The left figure steps closer to the right figure and hugs its arm.)

(The right figure opens its mouth...)

Mirabelle: Loopie... Mirabelle: Loopie!

(Mira!)

Mirabelle: Oh, Loopie, I'm so glad I found you. Mirabelle: I can finally say all I meant to say all those times before. Mirabelle: Okay. Here it comes. Mirabelle: I... Mirabelle: I don't understand you, Loop. Mirabelle: I don't understand why are you so attached to me. Mirabelle: Such a creature can't know attachment, can it? Mirabelle: Yes, that is right. A creature. A child of the sky. Mirabelle: Did you think no one noticed? That you are not human? Mirabelle: And that everyone despises you? Your very existence? Mirabelle: You would think someone Changed would be more willing to try to pivot their life around, but no. Mirabelle: You luxuriate in things staying the same with you. You are a mere mockery of this country's beliefs. Mirabelle: You are not even willing to show us your true nature. Too weak to open up to your "friends." Mirabelle: Too afraid to be seen. Mirabelle: And under this little shell, there lies an even worse person. Mirabelle: The person that uses time loops for their own advantage. Mirabelle: And even while trying to change their fate they stay the same. Pathetic. Mirabelle: Haha, I bet you were a foreigner even in your own country! Never able to be friends or even colleagues with anyone! Mirabelle: The only reason we were still able to have those trips to the House with you were because you were useful. As a tool. Mirabelle: We never truly liked you, even if the loops made it seem so. Mirabelle: Because you are--

(disgusting, disgusting, disgusting--)

(of course that's what she thinks, that is what you are)

(callous aimless manipulative)

(ah)

(your head hurts)

(you can't breathe)

(MAL DU PAYS yells silently.)

(HAINE DE SOI laughs with no sound.)

(both figures open their mouths)

(no please, please, please, no more)

Isabeau: ... Isabeau: Loop...

(isabeau)

Isabeau: Loop.... Isabeau: Oh, Loop.... Isabeau: I can't wait to never see you again.

(aaahhhhh--)

(The figures open their mouths but you strike!!!)

<IMMUNE>

(stop it, stop it, stop it!!!)

(it's not real, it's not real, it's not real)

(none of this is real)

(you just need to wake up!!!)

(wake up)

(wake up)

(wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up)

(wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not real wake up it's not re

SOMETHING: (BUT IT IS.)

(AH!--)

SOMETHING: (THEY DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.)

(No!)

SOMETHING: (THEY WANT TO FORGET YOU.)

(no)

SOMETHING: (THEY HATE YOU)

(NO!!!)

SOMETHING: (THEY'LL GO BACK TO THEIR HOMES, WITHOUT YOU)

(NO...)

SOMETHING: (THEY WILL LEAVE YOU BEHIND)

(no no no no no no)

SOMETHING: (THIS JOURNEY WAS ONLY MEANIGNFUL TO YOU)

(no)

SOMETHING: (YOU CAN WISH AND WISH ALL YOU WANT, BUT IT'S INEVITABLE)

SOMETHING: (THEY WILL LEAVE)

SOMETHING: (AND SOON THEY'LL FORGET YOU)

(no)

SOMETHING: (THEY'LL FORGET YOU)

(n o)

SOMETHING: (THEY'LL FORGET YOU)

( )

SOMETHING: (so make it easier for them and die)

( )

(it's right)

(these s adnes ses of y our s and h i s ar e r ight)

(your family hates you)

(they will all go home)

(leave you behind)

(forget you)

(you should just give up)

(you should just die)

(die for good)

(you can't feel your body anymore)

(nothing will ever hurt anymore)

(you'll forget it all)

(and you'll finally rest)

(you)

(let)

(go)

[writing-in-lesbian]

Salvation in Disguise

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff / Female reader (platonic) Tags: angst, cursing words, minor assumed violence, mentions of homophobia, legal age gap. Translations: pozhaluysta = please. Synopsis: When Wanda is leaving Westview, all its habitants felt relieved, left to their own devices to rebuild their old lives and to never heard from Wanda again. Except for you. You were left with an important decision. Her spell and control over your family gave you an escape from their control and mistreats towards you. So when she's driving away, you had a few minutes to save your life.

You were at the park having a rare time for yourself. Your parents allowed you to go and walk around before you have to go back for lunch. A rare occasion indeed, since you were 99% of your time with your parents and siblings, despite being legally out of age and with a well-paid job. 

For some reason, that seems normal to all your neighbors, living at your parent's house feels normal, but to you, there’s something else. You can’t explain it but you feel something is not quite right, but since you have so much fun when you’re with them you don’t question the nagging feeling in the back of your head.

With the day off, you decided to take on Agnes' advice and try that coffee shop in front of the park. Has it always been here? You can’t remember seeing it before, but with so many things happening lately and your constant daydreaming you think it might have been renovated and you never noticed.

You ordered the special of the day a “dirty chai” (which is just a chai latte with an espresso shot) and an integral muffin (balance) before going back to the park to do your favorite activity: people watching. 

Choosing your favorite bench in front of the fountain, you enjoy your small snack hoping to see at least from afar your favorite person in the whole town. Wanda Maximoff. 

You don’t remember when they moved here, maybe you never paid any attention to the people around your hood, but when it came to her? It was unavoidable not to. You formed a good relationship after the twins were born, helping her babysit for a few days after Monica went back to her hometown. The boys grew so fast (almost in the blink of an eye) but they were your favorite ones to watch. You even like Vision (was it an odd name? Sure) despite he being the one married to your crush. 

You were so engrossed and lost in your thoughts you don’t notice Wanda running into the park. It’s not until you heard a loud crash you turn your eyes to the sky and see it.

Agnes. 

Floating up there in the sky and throwing what it seems flashes of lights.

And Wanda. Beautiful and innocent Wanda.

Floating as well.

You see a purple light go straight to her.

You drop your muffin and get up from the bench so fast. “WANDA WATCH OUT!”

You’re not sure if she heard you but before you can yell at her again that same light hits you square on the chest, sending you a few meters away and impacting your body against a lamp post. Everything goes black.

… … …

”I’m not a witch. I don’t cast spells. No one taught me magic”

“Your powers exceed that of the Sorcerer Supreme. It’s your destiny to destroy the world” … … …

You hear a lot of commotion, you grunt and try to open your eyes. Everything is dark, a red mist covering the sky. You desperately look around for Wanda. You have a horrible headache, it’s as if something trapped in your mind is trying to get free. You try to get up but your body refuses, managing only to sit up.

You hear Agnes's voice up above you and when you look up at the sky, Wanda is there, surrounded by the red mist. It looks as if it's coming out of her. Her previous red hoodie is now a red top, on her forehead, there’s a tiara.

Standing there open-mouthed you can’t help but appreciate her beauty and strength. Even Agnes (did she call her Agatha?) Is it a weird kind of purple robe? You hear the twins and Monica around you, you even saw a flash of something red and white flaying on the other side of the park but you don’t have eyes for anyone else but Wanda.

A big explosion surrounds you and the park. And then everything goes black again, but you’re conscious this time. You know you should go back home, you’re not sure what’s happening but you’ll probably be safer at home.

There’s this nagging feeling again inside your head. At this point, it might explode from the pain. Migraines are nothing compared to this, but you can’t move. You are glued to your spot. You can’t stop outlook out for Wanda.

Suddenly, the sun comes out again (did it ever went down) and everything is bright. You see Monica in a black and white uniform in front of the twins, Vision s there as well but he’s….red? (You. Might have hit your head harder than you expect it. Westview was known for weird shit happening but this is extreme). 

When you see Wanda again, you see her talking to Agnes, and right before your eyes, her clothes change, her angry and scared voice goes back to being the overly sweet lady you once knew. You stand up and run back home despite your mind screaming not to.

// // //

It’s past midnight when you feel it. You were awakened by this flash of light bringing you back from dreamland gasping for air. 

Your mind is racing 3000 miles a second. Memories of your life coming up to you. 

Being yelled at, hit and slapped, punished by the person’s that should love you no matter what just for loving another girl. 

Been kept against your own will at the house.

The constant verbal and physical abuse. 

The loneliness of being taken far away from your friends and your ex-girlfriend and going to live in the middle of nowhere town when you were 16. A town so small no one would even think about looking out for you here. 

The hopelessness of not being able to run away because your father was a retired high-rank government officer. 

You check your thighs and wrists. The fading scars are there. The ones where you cut to numb the paint make you forget and maybe the final one that takes you out of this realm. 

You remember one day being up in your room crying yourself to sleep when your headaches started. You were no stranger to migraines, but this was worse, so bad you wanted to vomit. 

You ran to your bathroom. Next thing you know, you were having family dinners and going on Sunday family trips. 

And you knew everything was related to Wanda. Things changed when she came to town.

Wanda, the park, Agnes (guess is Agatha know). You suddenly put 2 and 2 together.

Wanda.

You need to see her.

You know you need to run to her. She might be your salvation.

You think you probably have a few hours before everyone is starting to get up and getting their memories, but the noise coming from your parent's rooms tells you it’s not that much.

Throwing a few changes of clothes, the few money you had saved from your babysitting days, you take your bag and slowly and quietly make your way downstairs. If the clock is right is almost 3 am.

You reach the main floor when the door of your parent's rooms cracks. You hold your breath, praying to someone they don’t notice you. The bathroom door closes a few seconds later. You make your way to the living room, only noticing the one picture is there. You stand there, behind your parents and where they used to be your siblings, you see there’s nothing there. It was just part of whatever Wanda created for you.

You take the opportunity and open the living room window and jump through it. The main and back doors are locked at night and only your father has the key. One night when he left you outside all night after getting late 3 minutes after your curfew, you made sure to break the lock on the leaving room window in case of an emergency. They never opened it so never noticed it.

You see the bathroom light is still on. You count to ten before sprinting toward the driveway and towards Wanda’s house, hoping to find her. At this point, you’ll be happy to find Agatha or even Monica.

Before you arrive at her house you stop. You don’t even know if your theory is correct but at this point of your life, you’re ready to risk it. 

You get there and look for her house. All you see is an empty lot.

No house, no construction, not even the reminiscent of anything. You start to panic.

“No, no, no, no”

Your breath gets shallow and your eyes are burning from your tears. You look frantically trying so desperately to find a sign of her. Anything but there’s nothing.

“You shouldn’t be here… Y/N”

Her thick accent makes you turn so fast your neck hurts.

“Wanda” you say with relief in your voice. She’s taken aback, clearly not expecting it. Her eyes are swollen and her red outfit is nowhere to be seen. Instead, she’s wearing a black hoodie.

You take a step towards her but she takes one back. You stop. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I…”

You don’t know. You just wanted to see her. The night air is colder or maybe is just your nerves. You hug yourself in order to get some warmth into your body. Your pj’s aren’t exactly the warmest ones.

She sees this and conjures a thick jacket around you. When you say nothing she continues putting some bags into her car. A black and heavy-looking bag pack at her shoulders. 

“You’re leaving?”

“I don’t think I’m welcoming here anymore Y/N. You should go home”

It’s the panic of not seeing her again, of her leaving you that has you getting closer to her and taking her wrist, stopping whatever task she was doing.

“Take me with you”

“What?” Her voice is barely a whisper but in the silence of the night is so loud she might be well yelling at you.

“Take me whit you Wanda… please”

You don’t beg. Never. Not after learning at a young age it only brought more problems, your father never stopped if you begged, it just enraged him more, so you learn to never beg, for anything.

She sees your hand on her wrist and feels the emotions swilling around you. She dares not to look at your mind but your thoughts are so loud she can’t help to see half of the abuse you have suffered. 

A small gasp leaves her lips.

“Why do you want to go with me? I’m a monster. You saw it yourself”

“You’re not a monster. Not to me”

She’s still watching your hand. Your voice is just a whisper.

“I trapped you here”

“You freed me”

“I controlled your mind!”

“You saved me!”

“You... I… what?” She’s speechless, her nose scrunched in this little way you always thought cute.

“I don’t know the extend of what happened or how it happened, All I know is that my life was hell, literal hell and then you came into Westview and…”

“I should never have done what I did Y/N. You should be afraid of me”

“I’m not”

“Well you should”

You can tell she’s getting exasperated. Her eyes flashing red.

“Wanda… pozhaluysta”

It’s that little world in her native langue that has her seeing you for the first time this night. She sees your eyes and sees all the pain and anguish you have. She sees the same reflected in her eyes.

A plea in your eyes. You don’t see her as a monster or the Scarlet Witch. When you see her, she can see hope in your eyes.

She joined the Avengers and fought at their side to save people. The recent events after Thanos sidetracked her and blinded her. She was grieving and in pain… and did things she never thought of doing. Was she really what Hydra, Ultron, Agatha, and a lot of people said she was? Someone to be afraid of?

But you were here and as much as she just wants to grieve and is suffering, she has the chance again of being a hero. To make the effort and fight for once she once fought, to be worthy again, to make Vision sacrifice worth, to fight for the love she once felt.

“Okey”

The smile you give her is prof enough she can start again.

When Wanda left Westview and all its habitants, they felt relieved, left to their own devices to rebuild their old lives and to never heard from her again. Except for you. 

You were leaving with her, escaping from the real prison you lived before she came into your life and offered you your salvation in disguise.

[animepopheart]

Wonder Egg Priority, Episode 7: The Scars to Prove It (or, Love for the Moms, the Cutters, and the Drunks)

Wonder Egg Priority (WEP) has felt like the successor to Puella Magi Madoka Magica in many ways throughout its run, but in episode seven, it almost went full Madomagi by driving the stakes to their utmost height—to the death of one of the main characters. But as has been consistent with WEP, what it did instead, after some moments of true worry, is to instead deliver hope in the face of pain, resolve against overwhelming circumstances, and strength in weakness.

The series returns to Rika Kawai’s story in this episode, which starts with her turning 14. And on her 14th birthday, after leaving her hungover mother halfway asleep at the bar she works at and which they call home, Rika opens up to the rest of the girls, explaining that she doesn’t know her father (it could be any of five possibilities, or even more) and her mom won’t reveal any further information about him. As she trashes her mom, Neiru and Momoe are incredulous, which only drives Rika away from them. And though Ai goes to comfort her, Rika is in a terrible state of mind as she enters her next fight.

This was a difficult episode to watch. They’ve all been somewhat hard since the series never shies away from brutal and violent situations impacting young people, but I found myself squirming especially here as Rika’s cutting takes center stage. At one point, she decides to cut herself and it seems certain she will, before her turtle-like partner, Mannen, prevents it from happening.

Challenging, also, is how strained Rika’s relationship is with her mother, who’s life revolves around drink—alcohol both pays the bills and helps her forget how miserable her existence is. And in the midst of all the bad behavior in this episode—the usual Rika talk, her mom’s alcoholism and neglect, and the selfishness all around, one begins to feel deeply sorrowful for the Kawai women. Yes, Rika is often obnoxious, but her family life is in shambles, and she still exhibits goodness, including a curiously gentle relationship with Mannen. And Rika’s mother is a tragic figure, used by men and quite on the road to an early death, it would seem, unable to lift herself out of the gutter as she tries, in her own sloppy way, to protect and reach out to her daughter.

It’s in this hopelessness that Rika turns again to cutting, and then finds herself tempted by something even more dangerous. Her foe this time is a religious leader who led the egg, a follower who continues to believe in him, to commit suicide as a way of “connecting” with the universe (Heaven’s Gate, anyone?). Rika decries the ghoul as a charlatan, but is confronted with her own weakness when the egg shows her own scarred arm to Rika, revealing that she can tell that the latter cuts just like she did. And then she explains that Rika can be released from this pain.

The scars, evidence of what Rika does to cope with her pain, now become the weakness that they truly are, revealing how hopeless she feels, and how powerless she is against the mechanizations of her family life. And defeated, she’s about to allow herself to be killed when a surprising savior comes along—a turtle. Mannen attacks the spiritual leader, to Rika’s surprise as well, until she remembers that he has imprinted on her. Rika is Mannen’s mom, and as he did when he prevented her from cutting, Mannen is again protecting his mother.

The conclusion that Rika reaches is unusual but inspiring. She understands, in this moment, the need to protect one’s mom, finally admitting to herself in a de facto way that maybe her mother is in need of love, too. It’s funny to consider the need that mothers have for love since culturally and socially, they’re always seen as the providers of it. But of course, they need it in return, especially when they falter. My own mother is sick right now, and I think of the support I need to give her and the lack of that I’ve provided through the years.

Warning: Screenshot involving cutting after the jump.

My mother was a good one, however. Rika’s, on the other hand, has struggled with the charge, which reminds me of a story from one of my favorite books, The Ragamuffin Gospel, about another bad parent—a far worse one, in fact, and a real one. I’ll quote part of the passage from chapter seven:

“‘Our daughter Debbie wanted a pair of earth shoes for her Christmas present. On the afternoon of December 24, my husband drove her downtown, gave her sixty dollars, and told her to buy the best pair of shoes in the store. That is exactly what she did. When she climbed back into the pickup truck her father was driving, she kissed him on the cheek and told him he was the best daddy in the whole world. Max was preening himself like a peacock and decided to celebrate on the way home. He stopped at the Cork ‘n’ Bottle–that’s a tavern a few miles from our house and told Debbie he would be right out. It was a clear and extremely cold day, about twelve degrees above zero, so Max left the motor running and locked both doors from the outside so no one could get in. It was a little after three in the afternoon and…’

Silence.

‘Yes?’

The sound of heavy breathing crossed the recreation room. Her voice grew faint. She was crying. ‘My husband met some old Army buddies in the tavern. Swept up in euphoria over the reunion, he lost track of time, purpose, and everything else. He came out of the Cork ‘n’ Bottle at midnight . He was drunk. The motor had stopped running and the car windows were frozen shut. Debbie was badly frostbitten on both ears and on her fingers. When we got her to the hospital, the doctors had to operate. They amputated the thumb and forefinger on her right hand. She will be deaf for the rest of her life.'”

Max—a real person, mind you—was a successful, well-liked man, but his drinking problem led to an unconscionable decision and profound failure as a parent. And yet, this book is about grace, an idea which to humans feels unjust, but  which has the power to change hearts and tear down walls, sometimes literally.

Could Max be given grace? Could Rika’s mother? If not directly, she’s done her own physical damage to her daughter in the form of those cutting scars (difficult and perhaps triggering images below). As mentioned earlier, the egg that she’s helping knows her pain and insists that letting go of everything, including life itself, is the way to peace. After all, to a young, suffering girl, what else could these scars mean?

But in the midst of giving up, in the moment that she actually capitulates (and this episode takes you 99% to the edge, both in the cutting scene and in the apparent death scene), Rika experiences something powerful. She experiences grace.

Have you ever been challenged to forgive someone when you don’t want to, when you feel completely in the right? Maybe it’s easy for you, but perhaps it isn’t. The girls surrounding Rika experience differing degrees of this with her sometimes maniacal and often hurtful behavior. Ai forgives easily. Momoe gets fired up and then equally seeks to make peace. And Neiru…well, Neiru holds onto “justice” more than love (setting up what I imagine will be the most powerful transformation in the series of all, in true Homura fashion). But in the moment that Rika is about to give her life, the girls yell out their love for her, even Neiru, and then more profoundly, without any hesitation, Mannen puts his own life on the line to stop the death from occurring. Rika has already given up, but this turtle hasn’t—not for his mother, whom he loves very much.

And experiencing that love from a different angle, Rika is changed just a bit. She begins to see her weakness as a “mother,” failing her turtle-child, and thinks of her own mom who is overwhelmed by hurt and a failure as well. And if just a little—for as the final scenes indicate, it is just a little—the path toward forgiveness begins.

But a little bit of grace is like a little bit of a flood—its power overwhelms, and it defeats the enemy, whether that means bitterness, a physical person (or manifestation of one), or the devil himself.

When Rika returns from the event, having killed the cult leader monster, it’s interesting to note that she isn’t a wholly different person. She’s changing little by little. And her scars remain. In fact, as she admits, she probably will cut herself again. But strangely enough, those scars now represent something different. They show someone trying—failing, yes, sometimes considerably and maybe very often—but trying, and only able to try because love was shown her, and through that, she is now able to show love as well.

You may have such scars in your life, physical or emotional, battered by the world and by people. I hope that you can develop relationships that help you heal as well, and that you’ll also remember that there are other scars which are meaningful to you, but which you cannot see on your person, scars that were borne out of a desire to heal you. Christ took the piercings, on his head, hands, feet, and side, so that while your heart and flesh may be cut, your soul need not be. And through his wounds, you may be healed.

The grace offered through Christ is one that, as he explains about everlasting water at the well to the Samaritan, for now and through eternity. The egg seeks peace forever by dying, but Jesus, unlike the cult leader, died for us so that we may not have to. He took the nails, the cross, and the spear so that we don’t have to inflict pain on ourselves and receive the punishment of our actions against him and others. He is our scar.

That’s grace. That’s the power that it has. And it can reach anyone—even a terrible dad, an alcoholic mom, a tempestuous child, and, and most significantly and personally—you.

If you’re suffering and in pain, maybe self-inflicted, we encourage you to explain such to a parent or trusted adult and ask for help. It’s a difficult first step, but one that will help you begin recovering. And we also advise that you turn to Christ for help—in prayer, community, and scripture. He provides people to us that will aid us in our times of need, as well as himself and the Holy Spirit if we are believers.

Additionally, there’s a scene in this episode where triumphant, Rika concludes that cutting is okay. That’s said in the context of her moving forward bit by bit and forgiving herself for her failures, even the upcoming ones. That’s an important lesson, though we must certainly be careful not to let it be a license to continue cutting with impunity.

Wonder Egg Priority can be streamed through Funimation. Read more of our articles by signing up for our weekly newsletter.

[ruby-whistler]

Srry but i noticed in one of ur dream posts u Referred to tommy's cat as hope. I must correct u, that cat was born pussbou and died pussboi. /lh Also tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile btw just wanna say Also for ur posts about dreams trauma or wilbur manipulating him can u provide links to vods or other proof? Srry if i seem rude i mean that in a "genuinely curious way"

Aaa sorry if my ask came off as rude im just genuinely curious :(((

hi! dw, you don't seem rude at all, and i'm extremely happy someone with a different perspective has found my blog! i really appreciate that sort of attitude and am happy to answer :]

/dsmp /rp

the cat was called pussboy by tommy, but dream only called it "the cat" and then said that "it was hope", which is why it sort of became a symbol (his hope is dead, basically) - that's why i kind of made its name capitalized, because it was more of a metaphor than anything.

most c!dream fans call the cat hope because it's just really nice and really symbolic, and also really sad when you think about it. that's why the name was used in the essay, just to clear up the confusion!

tommy killing that cat was nothing compared to dream killing mushroom henry in exile

i don't really think so? mooshroom henry was entertainment more than anything, and even if it was bad, when watching the stream i don't remember seeing him mourn that much - on the other hand, dream was very quickly and very obviously attached to the cat, with it being his only companion in months of isolation, along with the hope that even when tommy left it would keep him company.

keep in mind c!dream has been deprived of stimuli and human contact for so long it's officially classified as psychological torture at that point.

i don't mean to compare trauma or even compare deaths - because honestly, what c!dream and c!tommy have gone through individually is incomparable and i think neither should be diminished in favor of the other since they're both terrible situations.

that's why i disagree that it "was nothing compared to" - it had an obvious effect on c!dream, and was still c!tommy killing an animal specifically to hurt him, no matter what reasons he had.

when i'm talking about effects people's actions have had on c!dream, i'm not talking about those people. i'm talking about him. :) /lh

as for the trauma, a lot of people agree that a lot of the things he says or does are trauma responses, and hence it's very possible that he's had trauma before he went into prison!

this includes being repeatedly called a tyrant via propaganda by about half of your friends who decided to betray you, trying to keep peace and being pushed deeper into villainy instead, repeatedly being put in between a rock and a hard place in order to make sure the people you care about don't start killing each other, then being betrayed by your closest friends after merely trying to keep peace (sapnap & george) and just in general having no control over your life or image and grasping at straws to gain it back.

i know a lot of people with trauma who heavily relate to certain trauma responses, which aren't always just shaky breaths and flashbacks, but trauma often also manifests itself in extremely ugly and destructive ways, both inwardly and outwardly.

trying to control the people around you is also very often a response to going through trauma, as well as emotional repression which is... rather evident on c!dream during season two. it only seems to get worse with repeated abandonment.

in the end, during the vault scene, the way he acts really just isn't at all the way a healthy person would act, and a lot of his really bad mindsets come from the way he was taught by the world around him.

the character is very reserved however, and since we don't have his pov we can't really say for certain - a lot of people claim it in good faith because they have a lot of evidence for it, and i think they're certainly valid in that.

that is just before the prison, however. from what happened during the prison arc? there is no denying he's traumatized at this point.

he's been emotionally and physically abused by c!sam since the very beginning of being imprisoned, and being in solitary confinement for over two weeks is generally considered psychological (and maybe also physical?) torture. that alone shows up in a lot of symptoms of his mental deterioration while in pandora's during people's visits, and quackity's "sessions" just absolutely drove the point home.

what he's gone through during this arc is absolutely incomparable to anything others charactes have faced before, and it's just plain suffering being endured by someone who is, despite everything, still a human being.

as for the wilbur manipulation thing!! it's talking about the whole vassal scene (though even beforehand a lot of their interactions are pretty iffy), and here's a post about that :]

I also have a small question about the analysis u last reblogged cus it says "why dream needed lmanburg gone rightfully" and like. The house analogy is poor because for one cus the land is infinite. And 2 cus punz's yard was literally larger then lmanburg. And also stuff about dream being a mediator? Can u provide examples?

i wouldn't say it was poor. dream's said a lot of times that he didn't care in the slightest about the land - a lot of his problems with l'manberg arose with the fact that wilbur basically built it on lies and tried to disallow half of the server to come there. c!dream was mad about the division and the fact that wilbur wanted "freedom" to have authority in his lands - over others, as can be seen in this post also.

the table analogy was fitting not because dream was some overlord, but because these were literally friends he invited to hang out and live in a place he wanted to call home. claiming a part of it for yourself and saying people of a certain nationality can't come in is directly opposing those goals.

in the early days of the smp, dream's always been a mediator between his friends - sapnap and george, who would often get into fights and go around killing each other! he would always do his best to stop the conflict, which continued after tommy joined when he took him to court and then later tried to mediate conflicts he was a part of, which resulted in tommy killing him unprovoked, stealing his gear, and starting the disc wars when dream was trying to get his stuff back. later, during pogtopia, he is also most concerned with peace over everything, and this seems to continue indefinitely after.

Today i was thinking about how messed up the final control room was. Like. Dream arranged the betrayal and punz and sapnap killed tommy and tubbo who like. Were literal children and their pals (because the author, wilbur soot, is dead/j but srsly if u take the streamers words tommy said he was 9 during the revolution sooo)

Sorry im gonna ramble about how dumb canon ages are for a second cus like. Streamers can say the characters are one way or another (wilbur saying he is mentally 30-something, etc.) But in the end the characters act like they(or at least their streaming personas) do.

i... honestly don't find it that bad? they were in a war, and the final control room was basically just supposed to end it quicker. the l'manbergians made it clear they were going to fight to the death, so they really left c!dream no other choice. and it's not like he didn't give them chances to give up.

also yeah the 9 year old thing was retconned, because in that case c!dream would've been 14 and i don't think that's true.

c!tommy and c!dream were both young and once again, in a war. the final control room was an attempt to assure victory, which both sides would've taken if possible, but only c!dream saw he had the option.

i do agree the whole child soldier thing was bad but... complain about that to c!wilbur, methinks. he talked naive kids into fighting for his personal power. however, the age argument isn't really valid either way. they had enough agency to sign up for it, and whether or not c!wilbur pushing the intense nationalism onto them had something to do with that is another debate entirely.

Bacl to final control room cus like??? Also fun fact punz took 2 of wilbur's canon lives. And like that probably is what started wilbur's paranoia which later lead to his spiral and i. Many thoughts full of lmanburg today.

i'm pretty sure cc!wilbur said what lead to c!wilbur's spiral was a "dark, twister view of possessions" and "disregard for his fellow citizen whom he claimed to love so much", but i really wouldn't say it was the control room; if anything the sudden loss of power after the elections seems to me like the trigger for his spiral.

I watched the exile arc live and. I feel dirty almost for feeling little to no sympathy for c!dream (srry ive been forgetting to add that aa) because of his actions toward c!tommy and like. The whole probation was so humiliating and unfair and c!dream was planning to frame him for the crimes he and puffy did under the the guise of "pranks" and c!quackity was planning to seize the vice president role.

i mean... to be fair, if you didn't watch the prison arc much yet or only watch tommy's perspective i understand not feeling that sympathetic - however, i encourage you to maybe watch a few prison visits, since they could help you see the whole picture better!

i also watched it live, and i also thought it was terrible, but i share very much the same sentiment for the prison arc because. absolutely no one should have to go through either of those things, you know?

i don't think probation was that humiliating? he was just. being asked to not start conflict with the other factions for two weeks. of course, what happened as a result is in no way justified, but i don't think probation itself would've been bad at all. either way yeah the framing and c!quackity's behaviour was. very yikes, i agree.

Also c!tommy antis are dumb because they say "he deserved exile angry emoji" i dont see u saying that about ranboo. Just say you hate cc!tommy and go. Also people say c!tommy was just as toxic to c!dream and i??? No. One is the victim and one is the abuser and like. :/// man. This part is rambly srry

i wouldn't say they hate cc!tommy? cc!tommy has a persona who people think is annoying at first ( but then they subscribe because he is super entertaining big man! ) but a lot of c!tommy's actions are straight up toxic to certain characters, such as c!funndy and c!jack. he has a very dismissive attitude towards others and their trauma and it does affect the people around them very negatively.

examples; his repeated bullying and behavior towards fundy:

Tommy: “Fundy, I’m just here to kinda let you know that I – if you weren’t Wilbur’s son, you would be out of L’manburg, alright? Just remember – you need to keep that relationship with your father. I saw how asshole-y and bratty you were acting in the courtroom the other night. You need to pull your shit together young man.”

......

Fundy: “I’m wearing glasses…are you making fun of my eyesight?!”

Tommy: “Yes.”

Sapnap: “Your father would be very disappointed.”

Fundy: “Wh – disappointed for wearing glasses?!”

Tommy: “You got glasses, like what are you wearing…”

Fundy: “What do you mean?”

Tommy: “Sapnap, Sapnap, over here. Fundy, Fundy, Fundy, I’m really sorry to say this – I’m just here to publicly denounce you.”

Fundy: “…What?”

( credit for transcript: @/findingjoynweirdstuff )

he's also responsible for a big chunk of c!jack's trauma, both with actions and words, and that's why i think certain people might dislike the character, and i don't think that's wrong of them. anyone can dislike any character they want if they don't attack people for liking them, in my opinion.

also c!tommy was most definitely toxic against c!dream in the cell. it's of course understandable but that doesn't change the fact he was constantly hitting and insulting him (without dream doing anything back for a long while until he snapped) which is toxic behaviour.

i wouldn't say he was "just as" though, so i agree with you on that. they're different and they behave differently.

i made a dream blob keychain today. Is it possible to send images if u wanna see? Idk cus i havent used tumblr before. I think that's all for now. Thx for letting me talk :D peepoShy -curious anon (but fr a connoreatspants c!dream redemption arc would be cool)

yooo that's cool! i don't really,,, know if it's possible to send images? try it out and if it isn't i'll try find a way to turn it on.

also, no problem! just please remember this is a c!dream sympathetic blog, and me as well as my followers are uhh,, oftentimes emotionally attached / personally relate to the character, so if you could avoid sending hate on the character (not that you have or that i expect you to, just a friendly reminder) in the asks that would be great! we already see a lot of it unwillingly so, i'd rather not see more, but as long as the discussion is civil i'm absolutely ok with you asking more and with me answering more questions if you'd want to! :)

if anyone else would like to reblog this and add some things i might've missed with my answers, feel free to, just go easy on her (she uses she/her pronouns!) and keep it factual.

i hope u had a good or at least ok time at school today :D

thanks! i gtg now because exam tomorrow but i'm going to try write the redemption essay tomorrow as well because ohhh boy i have a lot of ideas about what all i could write around the concept.

also sorry this was long, i can't keep my tongue on the leash :[

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

After Your Love | Sam Winchester

✦ pairing — Sam Winchester x gender neutral!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 1k

✦ summary — Sam and you come to a silent understanding.

✦ request — Could I request a canon universe Sam Winchester, with F12, F14, F49, and F50?

✶ F12 - “I love you more than coffee.” distant gasps

✶ F14 - “I’m tired and my bed feels so empty without you here.”

✶ F49 - “That night you kissed me and I thought I might melt.”

✶ F50 - “From the moment I saw you, I knew I was in love.”

✦ warnings — light angst, mentions of alcohol, fluff.

════════════════════════

You were dreading the moment you would reach your street. Tiredness wasn’t enough yet to motivate you to arrive at an empty home.

Ironically, it really was your home and you would never dare to say you didn’t consider it as such.

Well-lit streets weren’t a norm around your block. You were extremely lucky that yours was the exception. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that there were a lot of children around.

Children made you feel less lonely when they ran across the street, laughing and squealing. You didn’t get to watch them or hear them often, only on the weekends, and even then your work kept its grip on you.

The place welcomed you in all of its coldness. The day had been nice, not too hot but not too cold, yet the living room was freezing.

It was in moments like this that you missed your small one-bedroom apartment. It didn’t feel lonely even though you were always by yourself.

This wasn’t that different, you still lived on your own. But Sam visited often, there was no better way to spend alone time than at your place.

Everywhere you looked at, a piece of him reigned. A stack of books, his favorite mug, that warm jacket...

You missed him. Something you were also used to. You would never complain about his line of work, he had been honest to you about it even before dating. You just missed him when he was out of town, plain and simple.

Sam put a lot of effort into the relationship, you felt comfortable with him because of that.

He would call soon, he always did. So in the meantime, you took a shower and got ready for bed.

You were barely finished with your nightly routine when your cellphone rang. Sam’s photograph lit up the screen.

Giddy, you accepted the call and greeted him, “Hi.”

“Hey, you.” He sounded tired.

“How’s it going?”

He sighed heavily. “It’s going.”

You made a face. That meant he would take longer than usual.

“How was your day?”

“Long,” you admitted. “The weekend will be a nightmare.” You got under the covers as you continued speaking, “I think I’ll visit my mom on Sunday after work.”

Sam sounded like he liked the idea as he said, “Say hi to her from me. And have fun with her.”

“I’ll try.”

His excitement faded. “What’s wrong?”

Inwardly cursing yourself for letting him know how you were feeling without even saying it, you shuffled on the bed. “I’m tired and my bed feels so empty without you here.”

He huffed a small and sad laugh. “I know, babe. I miss you too.”

“You’ll make it up to me.” Or at least you hoped.

“I will, but I gotta go now. I just wanted to make sure you were doing all right.”

“It’s okay,” you assured him, trying your hardest to hide your disappointment. “Be safe. I love you.”

“I love you more than coffee.”

You heard Dean distantly gasp in the background before the line clicked.

════════════════════════

It was raining, therefore children were out with their parents, having fun with the puddles. Their glee, while endearing, wasn’t the reason why you were at peace. Not entirely.

You finally felt safe. After almost two excruciatingly long weeks without him, you had him back.

A free day, rain, hot coffee, a movie, and Sam. What else could you need?

The bliss of being in Sam’s arms could never be compared. He had a natural warmth to it that had little to nothing to do with his body.

You were sat with your back against his chest, with your hands on top of his as his breath tickled your skin.

“Wanna know something?” The question vibrated around the room, mixed with the tapping of the rain on the ceiling.

“Anything.” You would never deny him. Sam’s opinions were treasured by you, just like his random comments and his bad jokes.

“From the moment I saw you, I knew I was in love.” He let out a small laugh. “I sound like a teenager, but it’s true.”

You smiled, leaning the side of your head against his shoulder. “Yeah?”

He hummed. “Remember when we celebrated Dean’s birthday next town?” It was your time to hum. “That night you kissed me and I thought I might melt.”

“I’m surprised you remember that. You were so drunk...”

Alcohol had helped you to get bold that night, and although at the moment the tiniest part of your brain told you you would regret it, by the next morning you were happy you had gone for it.

But Sam had been in a worse state than you. He had told you it was okay to kiss him, but he hadn’t really acknowledged that night when he officially asked you out.

“How could I forget?”

“Drunk me tends to forget some stuff,” you playfully teased him, giving him a light kiss on the jaw.

Sam tightened his grip around you, forcing you to shift so you wouldn’t hurt your neck.

“You know I love you, right?”

“I’ve never felt so loved before.” As though he had realized something, he added, “Not romantically, at least.”

“I’m glad,” you whispered, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. It was an odd position, but you didn’t really care. “I have lots of love to give you still.”

“You better,” he said breathily, “I don’t want to know how life would be after your love.”

“Oh, Sam,” you sighed. He was more romantic than you, definitely. And you only loved him more for it. “I don’t want you to know that either.”

You couldn’t promise things would be perfect or that you would make it until the end, but you were aware that Sam knew that so you discarded the idea of ruining the moment stating the obvious.

So instead you peppered his profile with kisses and relaxed against his warmth, feeling him relax as you came to a silent understanding.

[beautifulweird0]

Forgiving Your Parents

I know too many people who’ve experienced some form of trauma from their parents. This isn’t a blog about bashing your folks- this is hopefully a post that will help salvage some strained parent and child relationships. Cause I been there, done that-and understanding your parent is only feasible if your parent is interested in understanding you.

My disclaimer is this: The child isn’t responsible for mending the relationship...solely. I’mma tell you like this, if your parent doesn’t want anything to do with you...skip em’.

   Because that’s backwards as hell and that takes away from loving yourself. Anyway you chop it, if you find yourself forcing yourself on a “parent”, the relationship isn’t going to go anywhere-AND THAT’S NOT YOUR FAULT OR CONCERN. YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL! YOU ARE EXTREMELY WORTHY. I’m so sorry your people ain’t solid; it’s a reflection of them-not you.

It’s my belief that something is wrong with a person if they want no parts of having a relationship with their child. Literally so messed up from their own unhealed traumas that they can’t find it within themselves to love someone they created…

Ain’t no fixing on that unless you take they ass to a therapist.

Moving on.

I’ve always had such a strong feeling in my gut when I come across new people. It’s like they look at me and think I got it all. Truly looking at me and seeing a woman who doesn’t have insecurities or childhood traumas spotted along her path cause I’m kind and always make it a point to smile like Granny told me.

    I’m usually a private person. But its always been that ‘pull’ on me-telling me… “It’s another little girl that is going through the same stuff you went through. Say that shit anyway. And with your chest.” .

Think about it...

Can’t a soul embarrass you about some stuff you open about. That takes all the fun out of their miserable lives if folks know wassup already.

    So as a 22 year old woman that been through some mess with her people, let me share pieces of me. Cause the last thing you want on your conscience is one of your parents passing and ya’ll not being on the best of terms.

I was listening to Mad Bitches the other day and Mikhala Jene said something along the lines of, “Nobody living is perfect”.

That hit me a little different. Like damn...nobody walks this earth perfect so...why do we expect perfection (again, subconsciously).

THIS.

   This is why I say if your parent is trying, then work with them. If they sit down with you and tell you how life was for them coming up. The good parts, the ugly parts, and everything in-between. Trying their best to be authentic and build a bond, then meet em’ halfway (if they haven’t been on some stuff that’s just unforgivable).

And shit, our people ain’t have everything at their fingertips as we do. The apps that spread information quicker than you could sneeze, weren't available. They couldn’t go on a ‘self-care’ page to calm themselves down if triggered or go on YouTube and watch motivational videos. Not making excuses, just using a little perspective that helps me! Yet and still, let your parent(s) know if they did something to wrong you; you gotta’ have respect for yourself as a human. Period.

   I didn’t find out who my biological father was until I was about 16 years old. Up until that point I believed another man was my father (which he is still and will always be!).

Sooo...I already had abandonment issues from my parents and my dad lived in a way at that time, that all parties involved thought it was best my grandparents took us in. That’s all I know is Granny’s (& Grandpa’s) house since I was a baby.

    It helped that when my mom told me who my biological dad was, she was in a much better state of mind and stable-but man...I didn’t know what to feel. My sister was more upset than me (cause we have the same dad hypothetically).

     So many questions ran through my head that I couldn’t even cry or be mad. I was shocked. Everyone played their role so well…

There was a long road ahead of me. Not only did I have to forgive my mom and dad for lying to me for so long, but there was a father in the same city I had yet to know.

My first point is patience. If you aren’t going to be patient with an end goal for you and your parent, you’re wasting your time. Being prepared for them to fumble sometimes is mandatory if y’all going to get to a better place. You mess up on certain projects or what have you’s a few times before you get it right...right?

Give your parent the same energy if you were in their shoes. Cause baby...ain’t nothing worse than admitting your wrongs and still getting beat down. I couldn’t bring myself to be mad at my mom in that moment where she was vulnerable and upset cause she knew she played a part in hurting me. What was it gone do but make me feel bad and her feel worse?

     Blowing up wasn’t going to change what happened now 22 years ago.

Yeah, there’s hella’ books on parenting but I’mma tell y’all like my Granny told me, “There’s no such thing as a book on how to be a parent.”.

Having a child of my own- I’ve been witness to this. Folks can be shown and folks can be told on how to do certain things but with each child being different in this world, you have to be intune with them specifically- no book on that.

I was through hell and back with my mother and now we’re in an extremely better place because we both made the effort (more-so on her part 🌚).

But it was my responsibility to go into it with pure intentions and my guard down a bit after she made the effort; disappointment is what I expected sometimes cause I went into it knowing it was going to be a process.

Don’t get it confused,  my mom always knew how I was-that wasn’t the issue. The new end goal was getting to know each other again so I could understand her better so I could forgive her. That’s no sucka’ shit. Its real. Everybody in this life is going to disappoint you, one way or another. Better to know what you’re dealing with so you can assess the situation in order to better assess the person. Free game.

Another step to keep in mind is, boundaries. I just feel like it will make the whole exchange smoother-not easier- but smoother. The point of forgiving your parents and (if you chose) trying to build a relationship, is to have them know you for who you are NOW. Not when you were 5, not when you was 12...have them meet you at your level. They dropped the ball, not you. Sure...nobody asked to be here but that becomes invalid when you start having babies of your own. It’s a different ball game when you bring a life into this world. Your joys become the joy of your children but way too often we forget that our pain becomes theirs as well.

My father always tried too-the dad that I always knew as my dad. On weekends me and my sister would go to his house before he moved to Michigan. Man I was a daddies girl-still am. My grandparents had the house on lock, couldn't watch programs with cussing in it or too much violence. Life of having Southern Baptist grandparents I guess.

 The weekends at pops house was always interesting. I could watch all the music videos I wanted and watch the movies that didn't have too much goin on in them.

My dad would do different stuff with us like go to the library; he always knew I loved reading. Sometimes my dad would take us to the park or a friends house who had kids (how I met my husband), water parks, or even cooking dinner with me and my sister; plenty of quality time where I could talk to him about anything.

However, at the time, pops lived a certain lifestyle and no matter how hard he tried to shield it from us younger kids, I still seen things and experienced things a child shouldn't have. Again, comes with the lifestyle I guess.

My dad drunk...ALOT. And it was interesting to see the 'upsides' of alchoholism and the very big downsides. I'd never forget, I was maybe 8? Another weekend at my dads, just me and my sister (I have multiple brothers on that side too plus another sister), and I woke up one morning on the couch. My dad was goin through some things- all he had was a couch that he let me and my little sister sleep on. My 1st thought when I woke up was where was my dad sleeping? My sister was sleep, and it was still fairly early in the morning. I go back to the empty bedroom to find him sleep on the floor. No pillow. No cover. Just a beer in hand, laid out. That broke my heart.

Just remember feeling sad all over. I took the beer, threw it away then grabbed the pillow I had and laid it under his head. While doing so, my dad woke up, halfway and kissed my hand.

He told me straight up he loves me and he apologized. Didn't go into detail but he didn't have to. My dad never had his pops in his life, nor his mama until he was grown and was taking care of her though her illness.

I knew even at 8 years old that, that gotta hurt. I'm not gone sit here and act like I always understood the motives of my father but I tried because he always tried to understand me and til' this day, he is one of the top 3 people that KNOWS me like the back of his hand.

I had to forgive my parents because they’ve come a long way. Holding all that anger and resentment wasn’t gone help me in the long run. And in a way I can say I've helped to heal them by loving them through their screw ups. We always talk about a parents love but what about a child's love?

I don’t want to pass down my pain to my son, he don’t need that- the world will give its fair share. But everyday I pray that the world won’t hurt him bad. I want my son to be nothing less than strong mentally, emotionally, but most of all spiritually. He won’t have that unless I’m solid. So I ask myself… ‘hm, what’s still hurting me?’.

We all got a story to tell.

Love. Peace. Manifest.

[revengeoftheantichrist]

What Kind of Man

Warnings: recovering from injury, possessive behaviour    AO3  <<<Previous

Chapter 6: Haze

You woke to the sensation of someone running their fingers through your hair. Slowly opening your eyes; it must have been the afternoon. You don’t remember going to bed. You started to whimper; your leg hurt so much. Why did it hurt? What happened while you wandered the halls? “Shh shh my love, it’s alright, you’ll be better soon,” cooed the voice. You looked up, confused, why was Michael here? “M- Michael, why are you here a day early? Did something happen?” you questioned. As you tried to get up, the pain in your leg shot through you, bringing tears to your eyes. He gently pushed you back down, wiping the tears. “It’s Friday my dear,” he stated. “What do you mean its Friday? I went for a walk on Monday. And why does my leg hurt?” the questions just spilled out of you. Michael lay next to you, holding your hand in his, stroking it with his thumb. Just feeling the warmth again calmed you down a little. “I arrived on Wednesday,” he started. “Mrs Mead found you in the servants’ hallway on Monday night. You had collapsed from your fever and set fire to your night gown in the process. The fire was put out, but …” he hesitated. “your leg has been burnt a little.” A wave of nausea hit you. You finally looked down to your leg, it was wrapped in gauze. As you looked you felt the pain get worse, finally acknowledging your injury. “The shock and the fever combined had you out cold for a few days. You did wake occasionally, albeit you were a little delirious.” “H-How bad is it?” you asked. “second degree nearer to your foot, first up to your thigh. Mrs Mead had put you out very quickly. The physician is due to visit today to check the progress, to see if it’ll scar or not,” he explained. You started to cry. From the pain, from the fever, from the turn your fate seemed to have taken since you married this man. Why had the universe been so cruel to you? Who had you wronged? Had you done something in your past life and was this your punishment? He pulled you into his chest, warm arms enveloping you. He stroked his fingers through your forehead, letting you sob into him wholeheartedly. “I want to se my m-mother,” you cried. “Oh little dove, I was already on my way back before any letters could reach me. You know I would have brought her with me if I could, I’d give you the moon if u asked.” You cried until you tired out, but the pain was still unbearable. You just wanted to be held and to sleep. “No sleeping for you Mrs Langdon, you need to eat something before you put your head down again,” Michael stated. As if on que, Mrs Mead came in with a tray of food. A hearty soup and some bread, the same as before. “Dinner time seems to be the crying hour for you,” she joked. You pressed you face further into Michaels chest, embarrassed at her observation. She set the tray down and left, leaving just you and your husband. He rearranged the pillows so you could sit up comfortably and brought you meal over. As you reached for your soup, he slapped your hand away. “You’re sick, I’ll help you.” “Michael, my leg is burnt, not my hands,” you stated. “That is of no concern to me, now say ‘ahh’,” he replied, holding the spoon up to you. You hesitated and looked away before opening your mouth. You knew he wasn’t about to take no for an answer. He fed you the rest of the meal; time flew as you asked about his trip, wanting to take your mind off the pain. //// You had fallen asleep again by the time the doctor had arrived. Woken by a cold press on your forehead, your fever had returned. “Good afternoon Lady Langdon, its nice to see you finally awake. I’m Dr Montgomery and it’s a pleasure to meet you,” he introduced. You could only nod in reply, the pain making you unable to speak. “I’ve already checked your leg; Medina has changed the dressing. I suggest bed rest until next week. The wound will take a few weeks to fully heal; you’re extremely lucky, the wound isn’t too deep so scarring will be minimal,” he finished. “Will it still hurt?” you asked. “Your pain should reduce in a few days, however your fever is making it feel worse, so I have prescribed some Laudanum. All I can suggest for your illness is rest, and that too shall pass.” “Why am I sick?” you asked again. Dr Montgomery sighed, “It isn’t uncommon in new brides. Especially moving from the south to the north. It’s a sort of homesickness. The faster you get accustomed to the temperature and new surroundings, the better.” Something deep in your gut told you that he was lying, your sickness was caused by something else. And what about your nightmares? What could explain those? A simple fever could not be the culprit. But you kept your mouth shut, this man was not to be trusted. He left you alone with Medina, and you drifted off again. //// The laudanum was helping with the pain, but the constant daze it kept you in frustrated you. Michael had moved his office into your room for now to keep an eye on you; you had tried to leave the room far too many times to leave you unattended. The rustling of paper and the scratch of the pen remined you that you were being watched. Despite that, you still tried to get out of bed. “How many times do you have to be put back in bed?” you heard from the other side of the room. His tone was stern. “I’m getting sick of staying in bed all day,” you slurred out. Michael sighed and walked over to you. He lifted you and carried you over to his desk, sitting down and placing you in his lap. “There, now you’re not in bed.” You couldn’t bring yourself to feel embarrassed. He adjusted you so the pair of you were comfortable. The scratching of the pen starting again. “what are you doing,” you asked. “I’m finalising plans for a trip.” “You’re leaving again?” “I’m taking you with me. Once your leg is healed enough, we’ll be going to Paris,” he smiled at you. Paris. How you hated the sound of that city. Your brother’s stories echoing through your head, the anger breaking through the haze of the medication. “I don’t want to go.” “Why not, it’ll be our honeymoon and it truly is a beautiful city, quite romantic at night.” You answered before you could stop yourself, “of course you’d know all about the city at night.” Michael stopped writing, putting his pen down and inhaling. “And what do you mean by that hmm?” “Nothing,” you replied, you could feel the rage building inside him. He grabbed your face, making you look up at him. “Answer me properly. What are you talking about?” “My brother spoke about your grand tour,” you mumbled. His nostrils flared and his grip on your jaw tightened enough to bruise. The drugs only allowed you the feel the pressure and not the pain that would have come with such a tight grip. You winced anyway. “Gabriel needs his tongue cut out it seems.” “Sho itsh all true then?” you tried to get out, he was still squishing your cheeks. He finally let go of your face. Pushing your hair from your face and stroking your jaw instead. “I am a changed man Y/N. I was a different person two years ago. I was young and unmarried. I’d be a fool to betray you in such a way,” he sighed. “I’d kill you if your ever did,” you smiled at him, the Laudanum seemed to have removed all filters, making you say what was on your mind. You lightly pecked his lips, settling into his chest for another nap. //// You had been given the clear for your bandages to come off, and your fever had gone. You decided to have a bath while you were alone for the first time in almost two weeks. The water was a little cooler than you would have liked it to be, but you didn’t want to agitate your burns. You tried to relax, thinking about the past few weeks of your life. You had been married almost a month now. There was a sense of foreboding before you walked down the aisle that day; every single event since has just made it worse. The nightmares, Michael’s volatile attitude, the painting and now being scarred for life; it all weighed heavy on you. You think that you might be driven insane, or maybe even killed. You didn’t know. would you even last the year? The painting. You had forgotten about it in all the commotion. It had scared you enough to almost die. Why was Michael’s mothers face painted over? Did he want to forget her? Your thoughts stopped in their tracks as the feeling of being watched overwhelmed you. Just like the first night you were here. You got out of the tub, carefully drying yourself off before heading to the dressing room. //// The dressing room was cold as usual, making goose bumps rise all over your skin. You caught a glimpse of your scar in the mirror, moving your robe aside to get a closer look. It started just above your ankle, all the way up to your outer hip. You let your robe hang loosely around your shoulders, as you untied it to inspect the top of the scar. The skin there was sensitive, it felt different to the healthy skin around it. It made you a little self-conscious. No one would ever see it, but you would always know it was there, a reminder of the fear you let overcome you, of your fragile state of mind. You felt weak, so far from the girl you used to be. Your reputation in the local area of your home was one of an intelligent and brave girl, a tongue so sharp that even the priest had banned you from attending church on occasions. But here you were now, pathetic, letting your dreams out of all things, control your actions. “it seems that Aphrodite herself has blessed me with her presence today.” You quickly went to retie your robe and cover your leg, but Michael stopped you before you could. He rested his chin on your shoulder, looking at you through the mirror. His hair was damp, and he donned a robe; he must have had a bath too. His pulled your robe aside, exposing you leg to him. You wished he would never see it. “Don’t you see what I see? Does the mirror not show you the form that occupies my mind?” he asked, as he trailed his fingers over your scar, you almost wept at the tenderness of his touch. He let go of your waist, moving in front of you before he knelt down. “Michael! What are you doing? Get up from there please!” you cried out. This man, who many saw as a god, had knelt before you. He looked at you with a hunger and devotion seen in the faces of the worshippers in temples of the ancient world. He paid no mind to your distress. Instead moving to kiss your scar. He started at your ankle, looking up at you as he made his way up, leaving no part untouched. He stopped briefly to pull the stool behind you, making you sit down. Without a word, he started working his way up to the inside of your thighs, alternating between kisses and little bites. His actions ignited a fire in your belly. Making you shift around to alleviate some of the tension you were feeling. He stopped and rested his cheek on your thigh, you ran your fingers through his now dry hair. “There’s a hunger in me that only you can satiate,” he whispered. He pried your thighs apart, looking directly at your wet folds. “You wouldn’t be cruel enough to let me starve, now would you?” He ran his fingers through your wetness, making you moan and grip his hair. He hooked his arms around your thighs, pulling you towards his face. You had to hold the edge of the stool to stop yourself from falling back. He licked a broad stripe from your entrance to your clit. The sensation was so foreign to you, but you wanted more. He licked and sucked on your lips and clit, like a man truly starved. You felt his groans vibrating through you, bringing you closer to the edge. “M- Michael, that feels so good,” you moaned out. You could feel him smirk as you gripped his hair tighter, lightly scratching his scalp in appreciation. He dove in further, his nose pressed against you as he fucked you with his tongue. He felt you begin to tighten around him and moved up to suck on your clit, he looked you in the eyes as he brought you over the edge, licking you through your aftershocks. Both of you were breathing heavily as he finally pulled away, looking up at you with your juices covering the bottom half of his face. He got up and pulled you into a hungry kiss, tasting yourself on him. “You taste divine.” You could see his hardness through his robe. You averted your gaze, “can I return the favour? “My my, my little dove has gotten bolder hmm?” moving to make eye contact with you. “Some other time, I do not want to agitate the burn and I need to be inside you.” He pulled you from the stool, sitting down, before seating you on his lap to face the mirror. “I need you to see what I see,” he said, as he untied his robe, bringing out his dick and running it over the wetness of your folds. You mewled and tried not to look in the mirror. “Look at us as I push into you,” he ordered, “look at your greedy pussy swallowing me whole.” He pushed into you, making you watch as he did so, the sight making you wetter than before. He bottomed out with a groan and sat still. He brought your hand over your stomach, pressing it down. “Can you feel me inside you? I’m so deep.” You pressed further and made him hiss. He gripped your hips, lifting you up and down, you matched your pace with his. The pair of you mesmerised by the sight of the image in the mirror, the sight of him splitting you in half. You turned to kiss him, your tongues dancing as you picked up the pace. Neither of you lasted long, you were already sensitive from before; he was (you hoped) pent up from all those days away. The coil finally snapped, you squeezed around him with cries of his name. He followed behind, painting your insides with his seed. He pulled out and you both watched as your mixed fluids seeped out of you. “Look at yourself, you must be a goddess,” Michael stated. You looked at your fucked-out form in the mirror, lips swollen from kisses, hair mussed, and skin covered in a sheen of sweat from the exertion. In the haze of pleasure, you could almost mistake yourself for a carnal version of Botticelli’s ‘Venus’. You smiled at the thought. “We’ll need to bathe again,” you pointed out, making you and Michael laugh. //// You had your second bath of the day together. Getting ready for the evening; dinner would be served in your room as you needed to sleep early; you left for Paris tomorrow. Michael had brushed and braided your hair, and you had done the same for him. As you waited for MRs Mead to bring your meal, Michael had brought out a box, one that you had recognised. “Your mother sent this for you, your embroidery seems to be quite well known in the area and she was surprised you forgot to pack your materials.” Michael handed you the box. It was your grandmothers, then your mothers, and now it was yours. How had you forgotten your most prized possession? “Thank you so much Michael,” you hugged him. “It’s a family heirloom,” you explained, opening the compartments. You floss and needles were just as you left them. Michael reclined next to you, watching you inspect the item. “I’m sure it’ll continue to be passed down generations of Langdons,” he said. You blushed at the thought of children, you hadn’t given it much thought before. “I’ll take you to the finest cloth merchants Paris has to offer to get more materials for your liking,” he smiled at you. “I’m sure Mrs Venebale will know some locally?” “Nonsense. Why go to Paris if not to take full advantage of what the city has to offer? We can also see what the new seasons fashions are.” You raised your eyebrow, “I see, this tip is for you to dress yourself isn’t it?” “Well my love, the wardrobe does not curate itself. Personal shopping trips are must in high society,” he winked at you. You laughed and shook your head, thinking about your next project, trying to calm your nerves for the trip.

Next>>>

[kermitbread]

help

was this unnecessary? yes. am I going insane? probably. pls send hananene I'm dying

How did it get to this? Nene asked the same question over and over in her mind, as she sat still on unknown territory. It had water on the ground, so she could still identify it as a boundary.

It was a dark, rather dim looking boundary. Human bones were scattered around the ground, like someone deliberately piled them in one place and kept them there. And to make matters worse...

"Ah! It's Amane's assistant!"

The dreaded little brother of the Honorable No. 7 was also stuck with her.

How did it happen? She had no idea. All she remembered was she was with Hanako, trying to get rid of a rampaging apparition, then blacking out.

Shuddering at the sight of Tsukasa, it didn't really help that she was also sitting on human skeletons. Look, everything on the fear meter was cranked up to a maximum whenever he was there. The complete opposite of how she felt when Hanako was around.

Unfortunately, he shared the same face as his brother, so it surely did not make anything much better for poor Nene.

Well, it was better than being alone in a creepy boundary, at least.

"H-how did we get here?" She tried to speak to the boy, hoping he would settle for some civil conversation. Tsukasa tilted his head at her for a second, scratching his cheek.

"Hmm... dunno!" He cheerfully replied, with a big smile to top that. Nene sighed. She expected that answer sooner or later, especially from him.

She stood up, but a sudden pain forced her to sit back down quickly. She felt the pain sear on her right ankle. For some reason, she had sprained it, not too badly, but it hurt enough to make her back down.

Guess fear made her forget a lot of things.

"Geez... how are we supposed to get out of here?" Squinting her eyes, she tried to get any glimpse of a way out to the boundary, but all she got was a sea of darkness and more bones.

Honestly speaking, her leg hurt, everything was scary, and there was no sign of escape.

Everything's gonna be fine! Hanako-kun will come! He always does! It's just about a matter of time before he arrives!

Kept in her thoughts, she didn't notice Tsukasa making his way next to her, squatting down with his hands on his knees, eyes boring directly at her.

Nene flinched when his palm went to her cheek, and to her utter shock, his touch was surprisingly gentle. If it weren't for the intimidating stare he was giving her right now, it would have felt like it was Hanako and not Tsukasa.

"W... What is it?" Her voice was a little shaky.

"You're crying." Was his simple answer. She touched her other cheek, feeling the wetness travel down her skin.

Since when did she start crying?

"So...?" Nene struggled to form words, but it was rather hard when Tsukasa was invading her space by leaning even closer to her.

"That guy told me I'm supposed to be nice to girls. So," He put on that smile, moving his hand up to her head and pat her. "Everything will be okay! Yeah!"

She blinked owlishly, mouth parted open at his actions. It reminded her of their encounter back in the Mirror Hell, except it ended up with Tsukasa making her faint, which she rather not let it happen again.

If only he didn't look like Hanako-kun! I'm somehow scared of him, but at the same time I'm not! What's going on with you, Nene?!

A rumbling noise made her jump, and the ground beneath her began to shake. The bones rattled against the water, as the rumbling was replaced with loud stomping coming closer, accompanied by a ringing noise that was irritating to the ear.

To her horror, a gigantic skeleton appeared from the shadows, on a rampage. Its bony hands crushed the skulls underneath, roaring at an extreme volume.

While Nene stared on with fear, Tsukasa seemed... oddly delighted at the sight. Well, when was he not happy?

"Uwaah! It's an odokuro! I've always wanted to see one!"

"Y-you know what this is, Tsukasa-kun?" She trembled, looking back at the boy.

"Yeah! I heard they're indestructible. They take humans and gobble their heads up! Pretty cool, right?"

Not cool. Not cool at all. Nope.

The odokuro swiped a long arm around the boundary, as Nene squinted her eyes shut, preparing for impact. Not until she felt her body being lifted up from the mass of bones and suddenly—

"Hey, hey!" Tsukasa spoke next to her, and she opened her eyes, almost letting out a gasp. They were in the air, a few meters away from the giant skeleton, and he was carrying her princess style.

And if Nene was being honest, the heights they were on right now... didn't really help. Those sharp rib bones stuck out on the ground like spikes on a floor. A fall from that height would mean instant peril.

"Wait a moment! I might fall!" She unknowingly clung closer to him, not even noticing his eyes go wide at that. His attention, however, went back to the odokuro, who was scouring through the bones looking for them.

He smiled darkly.

"Oi, odokuro!" He waved a hand at the skeleton, getting its attention. "I got a tasty human for you! Come and get it!"

"Tsukasa-kun!" Nene screamed, and Tsukasa merely laughed at her face of pure terror. The skeleton screeched and started to make its way to them, the ground shaking at it's every step.

"I'm just kidding!" Sending out his kokujoudai, he lifted an arm forward, right in front of the odokuro. "Besides, I don't think Amane would like his assistant dead just yet!"

Nene didn't even have the chance to blink. The black will-o-wisps went in a flash, and in an instant, the skeleton shattered, destroying it completely.

She turned her head at Tsukasa, who was just staring ahead, not meeting her in the eye. The extent of his power never ceased to frighten her. Well, it was to be expected, he did manage to defeat a School Mystery IN their boundary back then.

But it bothered how he didn't hesitate to save her from the skeleton. Probably because of his attachment to Hanako, but Nene knew there was probably something more to that. Doing a favor for him? Or was he the one asking for a favor? Was she overthinking right now?

"Aww, it broke so easily! What a bummer." He sounded pouty, like a child who had broken their favorite toy. Descending down back on the ground, he poked at the remains of the odokuro with his kokujoudai, as if he was expecting for it to move.

"Oh well! Another one will come around soon!"

"Another one?! Not another one!" It was too much. She hid her face on his chest, not wanting to have to look at yet another giant skeleton approaching. She didn't care if this was Tsukasa, she was NOT having any of it!

"Hanako-kun, where are you..." She mumbled timidly, the tears starting to build up again. This whole situation was a mess. One, big, ridiculous mess. And on top of that, her leg still hurt like shit.

Tsukasa blinked, not expecting this sort of thing to happen. Here he was, standing, carrying that radish-legged assistant of his twin brother, who was currently crying onto his shirt. Oh, and did he mention she smelled good? Like, REALLY good?

(a/n: smh tsukasa always getting sidetracked with things he has a low attention span)

He promptly plopped himself in a sitting position, having Nene practically on his lap. She was too busy bawling her eyes out to notice, though, but she did flinch when he put his fingers under her chin, tilting her head to him, forcing her to meet him in the eye.

Teary-eyed, cheeks red. In his opinion, it was a good look for her.

"You're such a crybaby. Amane's assistant is such a crybaby." He commented like it was the funniest thing in the world. Nene mustered up a glare, forgetting that he could probably snap her neck in seconds.

"I have a name, you know."

Tsukasa looked up at the air, pretending to think, before turning back to her with a proud smile. "Can I call you radish legs then?"

"No!"

"Fish girl?"

"Absolutely not!"

"Then..." His eyes narrowed, and he almost looked like a predator out for the kill. "Nene?"

"...Eh?" She couldn't say another word at that. First name basis already? They weren't exactly friends, though.

"Amane calls you Yashiro, so I get to call you Nene!"

"Uh... s-sure." Nene just went along with it. Who knows what kind of crazy stuff would happen if she refused one more time.

"Ouch!" A yelp escaped her mouth when she accidentally moved her right ankle across the ground, as it began to react strongly with pain. Tsukasa observed her whimpering for a few moments, before reaching out and holding her by the shoulders.

"Eh—what are you—"

"Giving you a present." He smirked, leaning forward and she felt his lips press against her cheek.

Her eyes went wide, her heart began to pound fast. What was he doing?! What was he doing—

He lingered there about a few more seconds before pulling away, looking quite proud at himself. "Nene's very clumsy! I gave you a protection charm because rescuing you again would be too much work."

Nene put her hand on the cheek he had apparently cast a spell on, staring at him. For a moment, it was like Hanako had been there with her.

Maybe Tsukasa wasn't so bad if he just tried to? Emphasis on "tried".

Footsteps crunching on the bones approached them, as finally, Hanako and Kou had arrived. "Yashiro!"

"Hanako-kun!" She called out, wanting to stand, but Tsukasa's hold on her was really tightening for some reason. He didn't say much as a word, just watching as his brother and the young exorcist came closer.

"Tsukasa! Let her go!" Hanako readied his knife as Kou put himself in a fighting stance. Nene looked at Tsukasa, and he shrugged.

"I was just having fun with Nene! Can't I borrow her for a little more, Amane?"

"What?!" Both her and Hanako simultaneously shouted. Tsukasa chuckled, and as if to tease them, he let his fingers through her hair, leaning down close to her, cheek to cheek.

"She smells really good, Amane. And she's really warm. So that's why you cling to her a lot. I kinda like it!" He nuzzled his cheek against hers, ignoring her stuttering protests.

"Leave her alone, you bastard!" Kou shouted, gripping on his staff tightly as it began to spark with lightning. Tsukasa pulled away from the poor girl and pouted childishly.

"Aww man. Well... okay. Only because Amane's probably gonna cry soon. I would have wanted to see that, but..." He got up from the boundary floor, calmly walking up to Hanako, and just putting her into his arms like putting a sack away.

Nene automatically clung to Hanako as he unknowingly sighed with relief. Overall, he just couldn't stand being apart for this long.

"It was fun playing with you, Nene! I'll be seeing you real soon!" Snapping his fingers, Tsukasa vanished along with his kokujoudai, leaving a trail of black smoke behind.

"We should get out of here, too. Let's go, kid."

--

"Hey, Yashiro." Hanako asked. He and Nene were in the school's infirmary, while Kou went to fetch the school nurse. Nene sat on the bed, trying not to move her hurting leg too much.

"Yeah?"

"What did... what did Tsukasa do? Did he hurt you?" He seemed to be really worried and scared, as she could now see through his tone. Putting a hand on top of his, she smiled at him.

"He didn't hurt me, Hanako-kun. He was surprisingly... nice. He saved me from that giant skeleton that appeared before you came."

"Oh." Was all he could say. Inwardly, he was a little jealous his little brother was the one who rescued her this time. And calling her by her first name?! Very unfair!

"Ah, and he... also... uh..." Nene shyly averted her eyes from him, as Hanako looked at her with curiosity. "He also gave me a protection charm, just like the one you gave me before."

He blinked. Protection charm. Protection charm. Protection char—

Wait.

Squinting his eyes, he noticed the faint outline of something on her skin, and he probably was now going to lose it very soon.

There, written in black, was the number seven. Tsukasa's own spell.

Hanako felt like a heavy anvil dropped on his head and crushed him.

And as if it weren't already worse enough, Tsukasa suddenly appeared out of nowhere, immediately tackling Nene from behind with a hug. "Nene!!"

"T-Tsukasa-kun?!"

"Did you like my present, Amane? Looks great, right?" He cheekily smirked at Hanako, who was now in the middle of snapping.

"WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" Hanako yelled angrily, as his twin laughed.

"Just because!"

"AND WHY WOULD YOU CALL HER BY HER FIRST NAME?!!"

"Only cuz you wouldn't! Right, Nene?" Tsukasa poked Nene on the cheek.

Nene tiredly sighed. It was too stressful to deal with this right now.

Things were going to get weird now, and she didn't know whether to laugh or cry at that.

[thoseofgreatambition]

Ascent || FTB 7

description: George loves you to bits and pieces. He tries to mold himself to fit into your world even as he sees how much it’s changed the people he loves. You, and a few others warn him away. George wonders how much worse could it be than a couple of bribes. 

request by nonnie: how about a slightly jealous georgie 👀 nothing too extreme or threatening to your relationship, just him being a tad cautious. plenty of showing you how much he cares and that he fears losing you. maybe a little possessive? “you’re mine.” ugh i’m melting

for the birds

LIAR {PT 1} | 1.9 K

ROSE COLORED {PT 2} | 2.6K

LIAR LIAR {PT 3} | 3.3K

DUTY {PT 4} | 5.3K

FAMILY MATTERS {PT 5} 2.4K

TWO SIDED {PT 6} 3K

BONUS CHAPTER 1

BONUS CHAPTER 2

BONUS CHAPTER 3

taglist: @fainting-fancy @geeksareunique @insearchofnewdreams @notstandingstill-imlyinginwait @lumos-barnes @stillwater20-blog @thatfuckingliardavidtennant @slytherinqween @xinyourdreamsx @skiving-snackboxess @wildfire-whizbangs @dwarfwizard-from-panem @diary-of-an-onliner @answer-the-sirens @woakiees @black-widow-fangirl @theheirofnightandday @summerstardust @whysoseriouspadfoot @chocok22 @myhopesareanchoredinyou @siriusblackisme @illusivedaydreamer @zeeneee @writingwitchly @wolfpotter12 @obsessedwithrandomthings @carolinesbookworld @shadowsinger11 @pit-and-the-pen @summer-writes @peachesandpinks @ickle-ronniekins @gweaslvy @alpinewinchester 

George kept looking at you like you hung the moon in the sky. Like you were the one who kissed the sun to keep it alight. It was puzzling really. It put a dizzying pace in your pulse to see how adored you were, even after he found out about what you’d been doing.

You sat cross legged on your bed, silk pajamas cool against your skin as you stared at him while he dozed on and off next to you. A lazy smile on his face. “You’re amazing, you know.”

He chuckles a bit. “That’s nice to hear. Buttering me up?”

There’s a tight shake of your head, and you feel the same threat of tears you’d felt when you’d first made love to him. That being so happy was so dangerous. Feeling your feelings too much always got you in trouble as a child. “Next time there’s an event why don’t you hang back? It’s a nasty crowd George.”

You can see the seeds of self doubt being spread across his face, as tight together as his freckles. His voice is quiet, and full of hurt. “Don’t think I’ll do well enough for you?”

Something hot and wet was falling down your face. “Not that. You’re perfect and lovely. I’m not proud of myself at those. I want you to be proud of me. I don’t want you to see me and stop being proud.”

His large hand gently reached for you, tugging on your lapel until you were tucked in next to him on the bed, his arms holding you close. He felt so warm.

“I’ll always be proud of you, Y/N. You’re my girl. Can’t do anything to make me less proud of you. This all ends in a month or two right? When it’s all over you’ll feel better. Just need to make it through for a few more weeks, yeah?”

Doing your best not to cry further, you nodded your head.

Though you were sure he meant what he said, you doubted that George would keep that opinion after he’d been there for a while.

                               ___________________________________________

You felt a pair of curious eyes following you as you got ready for the day. As you put on makeup to get rid of your dark puffy eye circles. As you charmed your suit so it would be wrinkle free. As you worked on your hair to be perfectly done. 

“What’s so interesting about me today, Georgie?” Your feelings still were a little tender from the crying bout earlier in the day. 

“I didn’t know you did all this when you got ready for the day.” 

There was a dubious look shot his way, “You’ve watched me get ready before.”

He did look rather amazing in his suit. It set your heart in a series of little flutters. “Not for work, darling. This looks like a lot of work, do you ever get tired of it?” 

You stared at yourself in the mirror for a moment. “Not really. I take my time with it, get to drink my coffee. I like getting ready for casual days in England more, but this isn’t bad.” Holding George’s arm as you slipped into your heels, you gave him a bright smile. “Ready to go?” 

There was a nervous smile on George’s face, he’d be meeting your Aunt Alexandra for the first time in many years. She wanted him to be there to see the ‘family business’. You told him that it was okay to sit out on this, that you would stay behind with him but he’d insisted. There was a bit of damaged pride from him as well, the same thing that made him try so hard when it came to making his shop succeed. He wanted to prove himself. 

“Ready, darling.” 

Like that you apparated the pair of you to Aunt Alexandra’s home. Immediately a pair of tiny dachshunds began barking and yapping at two of you. Just like that your aunt swooped in from the wings and gave you a tight hug, quickly moving on to George. 

“Georgie! It’s been so long since I’ve seen you! You’ve gotten so much more tall. How are you doing darling? I heard you and Freddie got hurt in the war. Are you both doing better now?” 

Immediately he felt swept back to his childhood when she would breeze into the burrow and bring so much kindness into the home. 

It was easy to forget for a little bit that she didn’t approve of him dating you. 

“We’re doing a lot better. I lost my ear but Freddie got hit by a wall. He went through the worst of it, so I’m just glad he’s up and able to walk around.” 

As more pleasantries were exchanged you walked over to your father in the living room and gave him a kiss on the cheek before sitting on the loveseat and beckoning George over. He made his way over slowly, taking in his surroundings. 

Everything was so light and bright. With marble floors and gilded chandeliers. The loveseat you so casually sat on was clearly made from a dark blue dragonskin leather. He sat down next to you, and wondered how you were so easily able to relax in this setting. 

The answer was clear enough, you’d grown up in it. 

Your hand rested on his knee, and you ran your thumb back and forth across him. Immediately his pulse seemed to slow down. 

He’d expected that you all would get into business, but your siblings Marie and Alexander ran the show chatting about this or that. George felt himself relaxing more and more as time went on. Sipping on the coffee that your aunt brewed for him. 

He felt back in his element, making people laugh. 

That was until you sighed and leant back into the loveseat and looked at Aunt Alexandra with a wry smile. “So what’s the business today?” 

Your aunt immediately shot you a glowing smile. Her legs crossed as she leaned back in her armchair. George was reminded of an illustration he saw as a child of a king on a throne. 

“Well, we’re doing wonderfully! The fundraiser went great because of you, Y/N. And thank you George, I heard you did wonderfully with all of your stories.” George felt immediately relieved though for some reason you looked less than impressed. 

“The Graves want to bribe you.” 

“And I won’t be accepting that.” 

Ears around the room seemed to perk up. Still you seemed doubting. “You’ve had me blackmailing people throughout this. Other’s are finding out. Jack’s uncle was talking about what I said to Morris the other day.” 

“I need you to be more discreet then sweetie.” 

You chewed on the inside of your cheek as the family meeting went on. Another rally. Another speech. Another fundraising gala for just your extended family this time. The tapestry of your family’s crest that hung on the wall seemed to weigh on your with its presence. 

Your brother piped up next, “Who’s in charge of gathering the family?” 

Aunt Alexandra smiled at him, “I’ll need you to do that Alex. Since you don’t want to head up the family, you’ll be perfect for this. It’ll seem more casual. We’ll have a cookout or something, a little bit less formal. Y/N, how about we borrow your cabin and call it a vacation home or say we rented it? Then no one will know you live there.” 

“No.” you stood firm in your statement. “Absolutely not. There’s a reason I don’t let people over there. I want my privacy. And I think you’ll remember that you agreed to that after me needing to step back from working at the hospital.” 

Your aunt’s smile faltered for a moment. You weren’t usually this combative about it all. Her eyes flickered to a bewildered George and reckoned he had something to do with it. Before she could say anything your father chimed in. “Alexandra, we’ll do it at my house. We have a big enough yard.” 

A wave of relief came over you. You would forever be grateful for your father. 

                              ___________________________________________

It was after the meeting where you collapsed in on yourself a bit. You took George to a nice muggle restaurant, and gave a bland smile and nod when the hostess said the both of you look like CEO’s. 

You hadn’t the foggiest of what that meant, but it didn’t matter at the moment. 

He seemed just as tired as you did, though his curious eyes were on yours again. “Is it something I’m doing again?” 

“What else is she having you do?” 

“Huh?” 

“Your aunt. You said you’ve been blackmailing people. What else are you doing?” 

The cold feeling returned to your fingertips. You wondered if this was the part where he stopped being so proud of you. 

Your heart, selfish as always willed you to lie. Your brain told you he was smart enough to puzzle together the truth even if you did lie. 

“Morris is the man my aunt almost killed in the duel. She was the challenger, she is against anti-dueling now but he needs to be quiet about it all for her to win. I have a good amount of pull with the politicians.” you didn’t mention it was because you’d dated some of their children, “So I told him if he talked about it I’d see to it he lost his job.” 

“Is he a bad man?” 

A confused look was shot George’s way. Where would that idea come from? “No. He’s not great. He’s about as dirty as I am I suppose. So I can’t say much about him there.” 

You could see George staring at you in a whole new light. Your hands began to go numb. “I’ve bribed a few people. Nothing terribly expensive. Some nice clothes, a broomstick or two, mentioning a promotion... I think I gave someone a car but I can’t remember who.” 

George wondered in what world a car wasn’t ‘terribly expensive’. 

“I just... Aunt Alexandra gave me a lot of fresh starts when I was younger. You remember my temper. I got into plenty of duels myself-- and I lost every one of them. I think if that weren’t the case I wouldn’t have a future, or a shot at being a healer.” Again, you chewed the side of your cheek. “I love her to bits. Dad’s family is alright, but I don’t see them much. She stepped in a lot after Mum died... I want to help her.” 

“Helping her makes you feel bad though, doesn’t it?” 

You shot an odd look George’s way. “Of course. I’ve never been politically minded. I’m not good with the speeches or anything. I would have sat it all out if Marie hadn’t needed the help. But there’s only about six weeks left I believe until the voting starts. After that I’ll head back to England and hide away again. I’m just trying to remember that.” 

“You could go back to England now.” 

“No, I have things to do here.” 

George seemed to be saying quite a few silly things at the moment. You weren’t sure why. 

Your food came, though your appetite had left you. Quietly, as your confidence seemed to have left you, you spoke to George. “It’s alright if you want to leave you know. I’ll keep you out of things, but I know this goes against a lot of what you stand for.” 

“I missed you. And I’m staying. My flight back isn’t for another week.” 

He seemed to have misinterpreted you. “No, I mean leave me. I get it.” George was far too innocent for you, and you were quite aware of it. 

Now he looked at you like you were the foolish one. “I’m not leaving you. I love you.” His hands grasped your cold ones from across the table. “This will be over soon, you’ll come back to England, and I’ll hide you away with me. How does that sound? No more worrying about these things. You’ll get a job as a healer, do all the research you want, this will all be behind you.” 

Once again your eyes began to water, he seemed to have a way of doing that to you. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this for me.” 

He kissed the palm of your hand. Smiling into it. “Because I love you. And there’s not going to be a change in that. So stop your crying Y/N. Eat some food, you’ll feel a bit better.” 

                              ___________________________________________

George had always had a bit of a jealous streak in him. He had six siblings after all, and a twin to compete with to get any attention. Prior to dating you, he thought he’d outgrown that. Turned out he hadn’t. 

Now he’d learned the ways to calm himself down. Remind himself that he was a good man in his own right. Of his own accomplishments and how people loved him for himself. It helped a good bit. Until he found himself in the midst of your crowd of old friends in a bar, and had met a couple of your old lovers. 

You were very considerate really. The conversation was light, you held his hand and gave him kisses when no one was looking. It helped to soothe whatever ache he felt. Truly he’d expected that at least one of them would be a prat, based on what he’d read in those gossip magazines his mother loved so much, but all of them treated him rather kindly. 

One, Taylor, the quadpot player was especially kind. “It’s nice to meet you. She always talked about you growing up.” he’d approached when you’d stepped away to grab another round of drinks for the group. “I don’t want to make it awkward, I know it might be. I just wanted to let you know I’m happy for you. And I know it can be strange reading so much about your personal life in the gossip rags, but if you keep your head down and enjoy what you can it’ll all turn out alright.” 

It was like the wind had been taken out of his sails. He’d worked himself so much thinking that he’d need to prove himself he hadn’t thought about someone speaking to him with so much kindness. “Thank you, Taylor.” 

There was a grin from the other man, “Of course! It’s what I’m here for, isn’t it? Anyways, the only bad thing you’ve got going for you is the whole ‘Quidditch is better than quadpot” thing. That won’t fly in America.” Your friends who’d been listening in burst out into laughter and you chuckled as you walked over with your bottles of whisky and scotch for the table. 

“Be careful there Taylor, I think that’s one of the only fights he may pick with you about that. Quidditch is popular everywhere else but here.” 

As Taylor sat back down and began to regale the table with another story about his games you wrapped your arms around George’s waist and squeezed him tight. “Feeling okay Georgie?” 

His hand squeezed your hip tightly. For some reason, as kind as everyone else was he still felt the jealousy stir inside him. He let out a noncommittal hum. He placed a kiss on the shell of your ear. “As long as you’re mine.” 

There was a giggle from you. What a silly thing for him to say. “As long as you’ll have me, I’m yours.” 

[tummyachesandchocolatecakes]

In which Jay eats his feelings and Hope helps him feel better.

This is a purely self indulgent fiction using OC to fulfil my tummy aching needs

———————

This was becoming all too regular. Jay would have a bad day and Hope would find him in the kitchen, devouring everything in sight. Not that she minded, because the aftermath was worth it for her, and god Jay looked good when his stomach was stretched to its limits.

“Bad day?” She asked, walking towards him and taking in the sight. Two empty pop tart boxes, the left over pizza from the night before was gone (even the crusts, and Jay HATES the crusts), the family sized coleslaw box was thrown to one side, and Jay was currently spooning the remaining contense of what once was a full 2litres of ice cream.

“The worst,” he said, wiping his mouth and letting out a light burp, “‘scuse me.”

She placed her hands on his face, lightly kissing his forehead before removing the spoon from his hand and placing it on the counter. He lent into her touch, sighing deeply.

“Do you want to talk about it? Or forget it?” Hope asked. Jay was a social worker, and some days he dealt with cases that would shake him to his core. All part of the job he’s tell her, but she knew it affected him by the way he’d gorge himself after a bad day.

“Forget.” He said, taking her hand and walking them to the couch.

He flicked on a marvel movie, always his go to for distractions, and lay with his head in my lap. Hope stroked his hair softly, but was paying little attention to the film. She could hear his stomach beginning to realise the magnitude of food that had been stuffed into it, as if it was finally catching up. She could hear it groaning lightly as it began to work on digestion, and could see it stretching against his shirt. The usual flat stomach replaced by a rather prominent bulge.

Hope zoned out, staring at his stomach and listening to the gurgling and groaning increase. Jay began to squirm on her lap, constantly readjusting the position his torso, and he lay his hand over his stomach in a tender but secretive way. You see Jay hated his emotional eating, and hated the way it left him feeling sick and sore. Getting him to admit he was in pain and let Hope help him was the biggest hurdle they’ve faced. He knows she’ll help care for him, but he’s too damn embarrassed to ask until he’s almost doubled up. This is why Hope watches him, because she’s learnt that if she initiates the comfort first, it’s less of a battle.

“Jay, come on, I know your belly is hurting.”

“No I’m fine, just getting comfy.”

Hope sighed, and turned his head to look up at her.

“Jay. I know you. I know your stomach. There is so much food in your belly right now there is no way in hell you’re not at least extremely uncomfortable by now.”

She could see the protest forming on his lips, but his stomach gave out a loud, sickly groan. The kind of groan that you cannot deny as one of pain. And that was it, his pretence was done with.

“My belly hurts so bad Hope. It’s so freaking full. I can honestly feel it pushing against my skin, like it’s run out of room and is going to burst.”

He pulled himself further up on her lap, pulling up his shirt to expose his severely bloated stomach which groaned and churned from the movement. He grabbed at his belly.

“Hope it hurts!” He groaned, letting out a sickly wet belch.

“Oh my darling.” She sighed, moving beneath him on the couch so he was laying between her legs with his back to her chest. Hope placed both hands on his stomach and began to asses the damage. His skin was pulled tight, his stomach hard and round. His overstuffed belly was fighting to digest the mass of food that had been crammed into it in such a short time, bubbling and churning with such force she could feel the movements beneath her palms.

“What do you need?” She asked, as she begins to rub slow, very gentle circles over the bubbling mess of his stomach. “Do you think you can ride this out, let it digest? Or are you going to need to be sick? Whatever you want I will help with.”

Jay groaned as another incredibly sickly burp escaped his mouth, causing is belly to wobble and the gurgles to louden. “ I want to ride it out, but I’m so...” another wet belch wscaped his lips “so full. I don’t have any room. Hope, God it hurts so much, I feel so sick, please just make it stop!”

“Shhhhh, baby calm down, you’re getting yourself worked up and you’ll make yourself feel worse.” She smoothed his hair with one hand and continued to rub his belly with the other, applying slowly increasing pressure to help his stomach empty into his intestines. It seemed to be helping as she could hear gurgles coming from lower down than just his stomach now. She moved both her hands back and continued the circular motions on his poor bloated tummy. Jay groaned and arched his back, pushing his belly harder into her hands, so she increased the pressure. Deep burps continued to escape him, she could hear them getting wetter and more sickly.

“Hope.” Jay groaned as yet another burp caused his stomach to jiggle. He curled himself further into her touch. “God Hope, please. My poor belly is in so much pain. It’s still so full, I’m so stuffed it hurts. Please I need to relieve the pressure, it hurts so much.” He whimpered as his belly let out another sickly groan, as if to cement his statement.

“Okay Jay, alright I’ll help you, I just need you to sit up a second.” Hope gently helped him into an upright position, much to the continued protest of his belly. “Now, can you make it to the bathroom or shall I bring you a bucket?”

“Bucket.” Jay moaned, his hair sticking to his sweaty face as he raised a shaking hand to his mouth.

Hope went into the kitchen to grab the bucket. This was not something new, she had helped Jay to relieve the pressure in his stomach many times before. As she re-entered the room, Jay was doubled over, arms wrapped tightly around his aching midsection. She sat back down and positioned him back between her legs, placing the bucket under his chin. She wrapped her arms round her stomach and pressed her hands firmly into the raging ball of anger that was his stuffed aching belly. Jay let out a moan, followed by a series of wet belches and mouthfuls of saliva.

“Okay darling, I know this isn’t nice. I know, I know I’m so sorry but it’s going to help.”

She continued palpating his stomach, pressing deeper and with more pressure, using the palms of her hand to press his stomach in an upward motion.

A few more wet burps and then she heard the sound she was after, as Jay lent himself over the bucket and began to heave. After only two wet wretches, his stomach content began flowing from his lips and into the bucket. Hope massaged his poor, sick belly through each contraction as it continued to relieve itself. After a while the heaves became dry and Jay flopped back against her. Hope pressed her lips to his head and lightened up on the pressure, returning to the soothing circular motion.

“Better?” She asked, feeling the physical signs of Jay’s less full stomach. The bloating was reduced though his skin was still tight and his belly was still groaning noisily.

“Hmm.” He sighed, relaxing into her. “I still don’t feel good, but I don’t feel anywhere near as stuffed. Please keep rubbing my belly, it still feels painfully full and I just need all this food to digest.”

“Of course.” She said, snuggling into him and humming. She continued to massage his belly until she heard his breathing level out and the soft snores begin. Jay looked more comfortable and almost peaceful.

But then is lower intestines let out a very deep, very wet gurgle. She moved her hands and looked down at Jay’s stomach. His lower belly was beginning to bloat up again. She moved her hands further down and placed them over his intestines. She could feel them rumbling and gurgling, as liquidy noises erupted from below and she could feel the gas bubbles moving beneath her hands. She sighed a deep sigh, and began caressing and rubbing his belly again, using more force. She could feel his intestines fighting back, the pressure within them building and his lower belly continuing to grow bigger and bigger as it filled with gas and badly digested greasy junk food.

It was then Hope remembered the ice cream Jay had been eating. Jay’s stomach doesn’t do well with large quantities of dairy at the best of times, she had always believed he was mildly lactose intolerant. His poor belly could barely cope with a large milkshake, let alone two litres of ice cream. And taking into consideration everything else he’d crammed inside his little belly, it was no wonder his intestines were suffering.

Jaw squirmed in his sleep beneath her, causing an eruption of gurgles, sloshing and moving gas bubbles under Hope’s hands. She deeply massaged a large gas bubble that had settled low in his stomach, causing Jay to let out a very large, very wet sounding fart and made his intestines begin to spasm into what she could feel was a very large, and very painful, cramp. This was confirmed by a sleeping Jay curling up around his abdomen and by him sleepily grabbing her hand and pressing it as hard as his sleep filled head would allow, into his poor churning and bloated belly.

This wasn’t over. Hope knew they were in for a long night.

[haberdashing]

did it hurt (when you fell from heaven)? (1/?)

The world is changing now, and many of its inhabitants are changing with it.

They are calling it a Transangelic Epidemic: the sudden and monstrous transformation of hundreds of good citizens.

Sasha James doesn’t think it’s anything she should be concerned about until, after spending the night with a coworker who’s more than just a coworker, her back begins to ache...

Inspired by Transangelic Exodus; should be readable without having read that first, but they are very much set within the same verse.

on AO3

Sasha woke up in Tim’s bed after a night which she hasn’t quite decided whether she regrets or not with twin pains just below her shoulder blades.

It took her a moment to realize that the pain in her back was unconnected to the dull roar in her head, that the headache was an anticipated (albeit still begrudged) consequence of the night she’d just had while the backache must be something else entirely. Calling it a backache was downplaying it, really; the pain was sharper than that, like she was laying on a row of thumbtacks instead of a soft if disheveled bed.

Sasha stretched her arms out above her head, which managed both to make her backache worse, somehow, and to plant her elbow squarely in Tim’s face, without actually helping her feel more awake in the process.

“Shit, Tim, I’m so sorry-”

“‘s fine, ‘s fine.” His voice sounded slightly muffled, even after Sasha moved her arm so that it was well out of his way. “I’ll live.”

Sasha pushed the blanket on top of her further down until it was a crumpled mess near the foot of the bed. “Is that your standard? Either you don’t live or it’s fine?”

“Pretty much. Especially when there’s someone cute involved.” Tim looked Sasha dead in the eye and shot her a dramatic, exaggerated wink, adding in finger guns after a moment when her expression didn’t change.

“Aww, you think I’m cute, how sweet of you.”

“You do remember what happened last night, right?”

Sasha seriously considered beaning Tim with the nearest pillow before thinking better of it, instead replying only with an overly-chipper, “Trying not to!”

“Ah. Got it.”

Sasha sat up gingerly, trying her best to notice which movements made her back twinge with additional pain as she did so.

"You alright, Sash?”

Sasha looked over at Tim. The levity in his voice was gone, and now he was watching her closely, eyes focused on her every move.

“I am... somewhere in between fine and not alive, personally.”

Tim snorted softly with amusement. “Hangover that bad?”

“Well, there’s that, yes, but... I didn’t slam my back into something last night and then forget all about it, did I? Because it’s been aching something awful.”

Tim paused, closing his eyes for a brief moment before opening them again as he began to speak. “No, I don’t remember anything like that happening, and I think I would remember, last night was pret-ty memorable...”

Sasha had to fight back the urge to bean Tim with a pillow again.

“Anything I can do to help? Grab some paracetamol, give you a massage, call 999...”

Sasha rolled her eyes in response to Tim’s final suggestion. “It’s just a backache, Tim.” A bad one, true, and with no clear cause to boot, but then, such things happen. Sasha knew enough that bodies didn’t always cooperate the way you wanted them to. “Maybe the paracetamol, but a massage would probably just make it worse.”

“Even from a master masseuse like me?” Somehow the smirk on Tim’s face just kept growing, and somehow Sasha could swear just the sight of it made her headache worse.

“You take one massage class-”

“More than anyone else in the office has done, I bet.” The smirk faded away again as Sasha leaned forward in the hopes that it would help with at least one of the pains currently plaguing her, though it just made her head swim until she pressed her chest up against the bed, her head leaning against the mess she made of the sheets. “Where does it hurt?”

“Er...” Sasha tried to indicate the areas in question as best she could, though it was hard to reach behind her back and harder still to try to point out a specific part of it. “There’s two spots, right about there I think--next to the shoulder blades, on both sides. Nothing looks weird back there, does it?”

Tim didn’t respond for a long moment, and Sasha’s mind immediately turned to the worst.

“Sasha, you... have you been following the news lately?”

Sasha let out a soft laugh, more out of relief than any actual humor. “What kind of a question is that? I guess so, yeah, why?”

“You know the whole... angel transformation thing they’ve been talking about lately? People growing wings and stuff?”

Sasha had already started to eke out a nonchalant “Yes” by the time she put the pieces together.

“No.” she said instead, her voice coming out more like a scandalized teenager than she would have liked instead of that of a grown woman who was just realizing that she was standing on the edge of a cliff, trying futilely to deny the danger she was in even as she inched closer to the precipice.

“Maybe.” The levity was gone from Tim’s voice, and--Sasha reached over with one hand, scrabbled about until her hand hit her glasses and she could shove them unceremoniously onto her face--it’s gone from his eyes as well. He seemed deadly serious now, something she wasn’t used to seeing from Tim.

Sasha would have liked to think that her blood ran cold at the thought of office jokester Tim finally turning so serious, but really, her blood ran hot and it was everything else that was cold; Sasha shivered a little, and part of her wondered if she could just bury herself under the blankets she had so hastily abandoned and stay there while the rest of the world kept on moving.

“Can I, uh--I remember them mentioning one way to test, but it might be awkward--well, it will be awkward, it might be worse than awkward-”

Sasha tilted her head slightly so that she was facing one of the blankets, so she didn’t have to look at Tim as she said, her voice slightly muffled by the fabric, “Go for it.”

She heard rather than saw Tim get up, head into another room, return with something he seemed very careful about not dropping, but she didn’t look back up at him until-

It burned.

No, strike that. Whatever it was that had just hit her side wasn’t hot, wasn’t literally burning. It was the opposite, a cold so vivid and biting that it might as well have been burning, the extremes of the temperature scale seeming to somehow blend together.

Sasha heard a soft hissing sound as she tried to wipe off whatever had caused the not-burning, but only succeeded in getting it on her hand as well, though thankfully the pain was rapidly dulling.

“What was that?”

“Just water. Just cold water.” Tim demonstrated by flicking a few droplets onto himself and then, after a moment of hesitation, pouring the rest of the cup he was holding onto his head. Despite everything, Sasha couldn’t help but snicker at the sight of Tim’s wet hair, water droplets meandering their way down his face and onto the floor.

Sasha remembered, dimly, having heard something about angels running unnaturally hot, about how rain would evaporate when it hit their skin.

It had been unusually dry in the past month or two, especially for London. Sasha couldn’t remember the last time she’d gotten caught out in the rain.

“...shit.”

“Yeah.” Tim hesitated briefly before adding, “‘m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Sasha leaned onto her side, her head still aching. “Not unless you make it your fault, anyway.”

“...I’m not going to report you, if that’s what you mean. God, no.”

Sasha wanted to scream out of an open window. Sasha wanted to bury her face in a pillow. Sasha’s head was still swimming and she wasn’t as sure as she had been that it was just because of a fleeting hangover.

“Might as well. Somebody will.”

“I won’t let that happen. We won’t let that happen.”

“What are we going to do, then? What can we do?”

They made it sound like a good thing, somehow, in all the news bits and public service announcements, that the whole government was against these angels. Just report it to the authorities and the problem would go away. They couldn’t explain it, not yet, but they could contain it until they learned enough to solve the problem at its source, and they would do everything in their power to protect good human citizens from being corrupted by these new angelic monstrosities.

Sasha could swear she’d always been a little skeptical of that framing, even before she herself became one of those monstrosities.

But the point remained: there were two of them, and many, many more of the authorities looking for people just like her, people on the verge of becoming angels.

Fighting would just get them killed. Running would just delay the inevitable. What else was there?

Sasha was on the verge of tears now, but Tim had a wry smile on his face as he spoke.

“What d’you think of us moving in together?”

[strawberrysoup]

Let’s Review || Chapter 12

Peter Parker knew that his big sister would do anything for him to be safe and happy. She’d given up everything for him twice over already and would do it again in a heartbeat. And that’s why, when the criminal mastermind Tony Stark started inextricably following him around, he didn’t say a word. Because he knew without a doubt Penny would do whatever she had to if it meant keeping Peter safe. He had to protect her, just like she always protected him. He never considered what would happen if Stark decided both Parker siblings were worth taking. Never considered who else in Stark’s inner circle would agree. He just wanted to protect her and yet somehow, they both ended up with needles in their necks.

relationship: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character/Bucky Barnes, background Peter Parker/Tony Stark rating: Explicit/18+ warnings: Dark Steve Rogers, Dark Bucky Barnes, Dark Tony Stark, Dark Avengers, kidnapping, non-con/dub-con elements, underage Peter Parker, emotional and psychological abuse, very dark 

Peter had been waiting at the door to the lab when Penny and Tony got off the elevator, bouncing in place just beyond the threshold. Penny assumed he'd been told not to leave the room because even as they walked closer and he got more energized, he only toed the edge without going over. As soon as his sister was in reach, he snatched her up into his arms and squeezed the breath out of her. 

“She’s fine, baby, don’t make her eyes pop out,” the tone of affection in Tony’s voice was heavy and Peter felt himself preen slightly; it was nice when Tony sounded like that. 

“JARVIS just said you weren’t okay and that Tony needed to go get you right away,” he said quietly against the side of Penny’s head, “I didn’t know what happened.” 

Tony stepped up close to the pair, one hand going to the small of Peter’s back and the other curling into Penny’s hair. The two were precious, especially together. Honestly, Tony didn’t like having them separated the way they were. They couldn’t conspire, which was useful in making sure they stayed where he wanted them, but God they were so sad. Peter asked a million times a day to see Penny and according to JARVIS she did the same, settling for updates on his status every once in a while to calm her. 

If it hadn’t been for Steve and Bucky, he would’ve taken them to his cabin upstate. The isolation would’ve been so good for them. Peter would’ve loved the lab setups and Penny could’ve had a garden outside in the fresh air, they would’ve been together and with JARVIS monitoring closely they could’ve negated any escape attempts even if it was just Tony out there physically. In the back of his mind, he wondered how long he would attempt to let the soldiers care for her before taking over. 

“It’s all taken care of,” he stated quietly, rubbing Peter’s back gently, “now I’ve got some work to do, baby why don’t you show Penny what you’ve been working on?” 

He watched the pair walk away to a work table before heading to his own, determined to get started on a blood testing device that wouldn’t use needles. Or, at least wouldn’t use any visible needles that Penny would be able to identify or feel. He knew Bruce wouldn't let her off without one and if he could circumvent the fit she was going to throw it would be great.

When JARVIS had announced that Penny was in extreme distress, a level of irritation had risen in his chest that he didn’t really expect. Peter was his primary concern in every aspect, but Penny was a very close second. He’d literally just had a conversation with the soldiers about figuring their shit out but within the next two hours he’d been alerted she was losing it once again. It was testing his patience, but he reminded himself there wasn't a presidence to their relationship like there was between him and Peter. 

In the beginning it had been easy; Peter craved adult approval. All Tony had to do was compliment his intelligence and the teenager was on a high. They'd talked about science, Tony told him how smart he was, how impressed he was. Graduating to careful touches had been simple, new compliments on his appearance and his growth over time slid under the radar. 

About four months in, he could tell Peter was antsy. The text messages he sent got shorter, less enthusiastic. He made excuses to not meet up for coffee and joined a new club at school that kept him tied up on weekends, tried to reject gifts and invitations. Something had spooked his boy, now he wondered if it had something to do with Penny. The reticence had gotten worse and worse until he'd followed him home from decathlon practice and she'd seen them. 

He still hadn't pressed, hadn't asked what caused Peter to pull away. If it was his own conscious or if someone had influenced him. In the grand scheme of things it didn't really matter but he was curious. They had a relationship before the kidnapping, a basis to build upon. Penny and the soldiers didn't have that, everything between them had to be built from scratch and the guys had to demolish some massive barriers before the building could even begin. 

He kept an eye on the pair through the many reflective surfaces in the room, smiling softly to himself while he worked; they were adorable. Penny was smart, but had no idea what she was doing in a lab setting. She kept touching things, moving them and then waiting for Peter to react. He played into her hands, whining every time he noticed something was out of place, freaking out when she picked up a blowtorch. They also seemed to have some weird dissociation with their bodies, but only in relation to each other: Peter acted like he was smaller than she was, where she seemed to forget he'd outgrown her. He would shift and settle his weight against her, only for the pair to almost go tumbling; she would reach out to muss his hair, but couldn't reach the top of his head anymore without getting on her tip toes. 

It was easy to get lost in his work; despite his reputation as a weapons designer, he was a fair touch at medical equipment. He only got distracted by the sound of a soft snore and his heart melted when he glanced into the reflective wall to see Penny curled up on a stool. She'd fallen asleep somehow perched with both feet on the seat, tucked into a ball and leaning precariously against the wall, head on her knees. Peter was obviously keeping a close eye on her, turned to face her at his work table while he messed with the parts Tony had given him for a robot. 

"J, order a daybed for the lab," he quietly addressed the AI, watching Peter very carefully set a screwdriver on his sister's shoulder, adding to a collection of tools he was balancing on her sleeping form.

"Perhaps an oversized bean bag chair, sir? Ms. Parker has them saved on her pinterest under the board 'if I was rich'."

Peter's head snapped up when he heard JARVIS speak, nervously glancing at his still sleeping sister. When he decided she was peacefully asleep and not about to sit up and kill him for the calculations he’d scribbled onto her arm, he turned to look at Tony in confusion. 

"Come here baby," Tony kept his tone quiet, motioning him over, "I want you to look at something." 

Peter went without hesitation, reminding Tony once again how lucky he was that the younger Parker sibling was so different than his sister. He tried so hard not to question Tony's orders, to just obey. Penny would’ve tried to stab him with a fork. 

"What is it?"

Tony flung several holograms up, all with different schematics, “I’m trying to design a new method of drawing blood, one without visible needles. Bruce won’t let her get out of a blood test and I don’t want it to send her into hysterics again. Now, this one is what I’m leaning towards— its got needles, but they’re so small she won’t be able to see them. Shouldn’t even be that uncomfortable, like suction.” 

“Uh,” Peter tilted his head to the side, trying to catch up with Tony’s thought process and also examine the schematics, “what about this one?” 

He listened intently as the older man explained all of the ideas he’d come up with, one of which required technology that didn’t currently exist but Tony promised he would invent it within a few days if Peter thought it was the best option. The whole time the teenager tried to pretend his affection for the man wasn’t steadily growing. He was so conflicted— Tony Stark had groomed him like a pedophile to be receptive to his advances over time, had kidnapped and ‘punished’ him, took his sister and gave her to his friends. But Tony also provided him with nearly anything he asked for, showered him with affection and always told him how much he loved him, how much he wanted Peter to be happy. And it was hard to remember the bad stuff because Peter wanted that affection so much. 

He wasn’t starved for affection really, Penny hugged him whenever she could, smacked more kisses to his forehead a day than exchanged words with him. She worked so much that she wasn’t always around the apartment when he was, but she texted him as much as she could. Peter never had to wonder how much his sister loved him; there was no question that he was the most important person in her world. 

But it was different coming from Tony. The affection, the touches, the words, they made Peter burn up with happiness. Yes, Tony had spanked him until it hurt to sit for several days but he also held him all the time, kept him cuddled close. He stole him away from his friends but he was providing him with a home, the highest tech laboratories in the world— literally anything Peter wanted could be provided, as frivolously as possible in most cases. Tony kidnapped his sister, yeah, but he also adored Penny almost as much as Peter did; he’d stated multiple times that he just wanted Peter and Penny to be happy. 

It was messed up and backwards but Peter wanted everything Tony had to offer. The wrongness of it flipped his stomach every time he thought about leaning into the man’s touch, when Tony kissed him and he forced himself to turn his head even though he really, really wanted that kiss. Penny would be devastated, she’d think that she failed him somehow. 

“I’m not sure, either the first one you mentioned or the third, probably,” Peter crossed his arms over his chest, forcing himself to put a barrier between them, “the second doesn’t really sound plausible and the fourth has too big of a needle, she’d notice.” 

“Anything is plausible when you’re me, baby,” Tony smirked slightly, but gave a shrug nonetheless and turned his attention to where Penny was still asleep against the wall, "how does she sleep like that?"

"Penny can sleep anywhere," Peter shrugged and took a stylus off the table, walking back to his sister to balance it on top of her head, "she doesn't move at all. I'm not sure if it's really, like, restful because she stays so tensed up? But I've seen her sleep balanced on the arm of a couch before without a wall holding her up. It's kind of cool." 

"Multiple bean bag chairs, J," Tony couldn't decide if he was impressed or kind of sad that Penny was really good at making herself sleep in uncomfortable situations, but he could absolutely make sure she didn't need to ever again, "labs, living rooms—" 

"You're buying Penny bean bag chairs for the lab?" Peter butted in, and Tony Did Not Roll His Eyes at his interruption but he did give the teenager a quick, painless pop on the cheek.

“Manners, baby,” his tone was stern, but he raised an eyebrow when Peter hardly reacted to him, the boy’s head instead turned to stare at the still sleeping Penny. 

“You shouldn’t do that where Penny could see,” the teenager responded in a hushed tone, stepping forward just a bit, “she’ll get super pissed.” 

To be fair, the thought hadn't really occurred to Tony before. Discipline was important considering the nature of their relationship, just as it was between the soldiers and Penny, and doling out punishment wasn't something he'd ever even thought he would consider hiding. But considering how fraught her relationship was with literally every inhabitant of the tower, he couldn't help but wonder how far would be too far to push Penny. She was a powder keg begging for fire, any excuse to explode. 

Tony knew for a fact that there was a line drawn in the sand, the one that stood between actual life and death, between Penny and everyone else; he just didn't know exactly where it was. Would seeing a quick pop to Peter's cheek be the straw that broke the camel's back? Or would it be the evidence of a spanking in the way he sat? And what would the explosion look like? She'd already proven to be unpredictable and prone to pretty significant violence, including using improvised weapons to cause (what she'd hoped was) lasting damage. 

Even worse, he realized he didn't know where his line was. How far would he let Penny go in her attempts to escape and take Peter with her? When would he draw the line, cite a failure to thrive and put her out of her misery? It could come to that; he didn't want to imagine it, that Penny could loathe them all so much she'd never stop trying steal Peter away. 

There was no good way to show Penny how much better it was for her and Peter in the tower without the passage of time. Until she began to notice changes. When it settled in that all of Peter's clothes were new and perfectly fitted. When she noticed her brother looked so much healthier, well fed and vibrant. When the stress of living stopped pressing on her shoulders, when she began to gain weight and stop pulling at her own hair, biting her nails. 

There was so much that could go wrong where Penny was concerned but there was also so much that could go right. She could finally thrive, be her own person, live for herself and her own happiness. 

A rush swam through Tony’s veins and he stood, kissing Peter’s cheek gently where he’d just smacked him before walking over to where Penny was curled on the stool and removed all of the odds and ends Peter had managed to balance on her. She was in such a tight ball that picking her up was easy; there were no flailing limbs to corral or sudden shifts in weight distribution to compensate for. Tony understood what Peter meant— the sleep she got couldn’t be very restful when her muscles were tight like iron bands. 

“Let’s take Penny upstairs so she can sleep,” he directed the quiet comment to the teenager who had followed him across the lab and was standing at his elbow, “J, is anyone in the living room?” 

He was conflicted on whether or not he wanted Penny on the floor he shared with Peter beyond the kitchen. There was too much for her to get upset over; the obvious lack of a separate room for her brother, the cushion on the floor next to the couch for when he wanted Peter to kneel for him, Penny would probably go insane and the poor thing didn’t need the added stress. Peter was his baby boy, his to do with as he pleased, but he loved the boy too and Penny wouldn’t be able to fathom it. All she would see was mistreatment and pedophilia and imprisonment. 

“The living room is currently empty sir, most of the tower’s occupants are currently out.”

“Take us up, then,” Penny weighed much less in his arms than he really cared for, it was almost too easy to carry her to the elevator and hold her the entire trip. 

Even when he put her on the couch, she didn’t release the tension from her muscles. She remained in the same tight curl where her body had been so precariously balancing. Tony started to comment, but Peter had slipped around him already and began tugging at Penny’s arms and legs until she was stretched out across the length of the couch. 

“Sometimes she does this at home,” Peter stated quietly, “the only thing that’ll really make her wake up is a loud noise, so I can usually get her shifted so she’s more comfortable without bothering her.” 

“Did you have to do this often?” Tony responded in the same tone, sitting on the couch near Penny’s feet and motioning for Peter to come to him once he’d finished rearranging his sister. 

“No, not really,” the teenager allowed himself to be pulled into Tony’s lap, tangling his feet with his sisters, “Penny tried to always be awake if we were gonna be home at the same time. It was usually only if I woke up in the middle of the night, after she got home from her overnight shift. I think she was too stressed out when she got back and couldn’t relax enough, so she’d just fall asleep however she was sitting.” 

A slight shudder ran through him as he remembered the few nights that he’d woken up and gotten up to get a snack or something to drink, only to find Penny sleeping like a statue on the edge of the couch. She’d fall asleep hunched over, elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. The first time he thought she was crying and his heart had broken, but it actually felt worse when he realized she was so exhausted she’d fallen asleep like that. She was working herself so hard to provide for him that she could fall asleep like that. 

Tony tugged Peter’s head against his chest, running a hand through his hair gently. It was amazing how much he’d hated Penny just days ago. Penelope fucking Parker. Once upon a time he thought she was a cruel, neglectful monster. The power of ignorance was astounding. 

“It’s gonna be so much better now, baby boy,” he murmured quietly into Peter’s ear, lips brushing his temple gently, “I promise, for you and Penny both. No more stress or worrying—”

Peter’s mouth opened, as if to interrupt, but he snapped it shut with an audible click of his teeth. Tony couldn’t help but grin to himself; he really did hit the jackpot with his obedient boy. 

“Yes Peter?” 

The prompt made the teenager melt against Tony’s chest slightly and he turned his face to press against the oil stained shirt, “Penny likes cats. They’re supposed to be good for stress, right? Like, an emotional support cat?” 

“Cats huh?” 

“And weed,” Peter continued, still not looking up at the man holding him, “when she could spare the cash and I didn’t need anything, she would buy a little bit. You could get her weed, right?” 

Peter said you could get her weed right like Tony was the most powerful person in New York (which he was) and Tony preened, “cats and weed, the soldiers will love it.” 

The way Peter tensed against him was sudden and almost shocking in the way it mimicked Penny gearing up for a fight. Tony imagined he could smell his boy’s outrage, the discontent welling up inside of him and pouring from his pores. It was the first time Peter had given any indication he possessed the same amount of rage as his sister and Tony had to hide his shock. 

“Why does she have to be with them?” The words were ground through Peter’s teeth, his forehead pressing more firmly to Tony’s chest so he wouldn’t accidentally glare at the man. What Peter wanted to say was why would you give my sister to them? If you loved me you wouldn’t give my sister away like a fucking animal. If you loved me you wouldn’t make her stay with them. If you loved me you’d kill them both for touching her. 

“They love her, baby, like how I love you,” Tony kept his tone light, knowing that Peter was doing his best to reign in his fury despite not knowing how deep it went and the direction it was aimed, “they want to take care of her and make her happy, why shouldn’t they have the chance to?” 

The teenager didn’t respond but Tony felt the tremble that ran through his muscles and wondered if Peter was about to lash out. He’d been so good over the last few days with only small slip ups in his manners. 

“Penny should get to choose.” 

Tony Did Not Roll His Eyes, carefully running Peter’s hair through his fingers, “Choice is overrated, baby boy. Having a choice means having the opportunity to choose wrong and get hurt. You and Penny don’t need those kinds of choices. They’re stressful, all that’ll do is make you sad.” 

“But—” 

“End of discussion, baby,” Tony made sure his tone was stern but not mean as he tugged Peter’s head back by his hair, forcing the teenager to look into his eyes, “Penny will be staying with the soldiers unless I decide otherwise. Make your peace with it, Pete.” 

It was impressive, honestly, how carefully Peter maintained his expression. Intelligence and cunning flashed through his eyes, a chaos leashed by logic. He probably could’ve gotten past Tony taking him, with time. Life was easier in the tower; no school, no bullies, no worries over money or Penny’s health. He could’ve gotten used to it, made his peace with it, so to speak. 

If Tony hadn't taken Penny, he could’ve moved on with his new life. If Tony hadn’t given her away, he might’ve pushed through the emotional upheaval. If Tony wasn’t allowing those guys to do whatever they wanted with his sister, Peter might’ve been willing to go along with everything. 

But he did and had and was and Peter wasn’t raised to be the forgiving sort. He’d been raised by fire and fury and women who were angry. Aunt May and Penny, despite not being blood related, had the same fuel burning through their veins. The same indignation that came from the world trying to beat them down. 

The stolen circuit board tucked into his pocket burned against the fabric, ready to be added to the slowly growing stash of parts and pieces hidden around Tony’s apartment. 

Make your peace with it. Oh, he’d be making something.

[raz-b-rose]

Huey Duck has Anxiety.

As I’ve watched DT2017, I find myself relating deeply with Huey. (despite Louie being my favorite). I decided to write this quick little story, about how I experience anxiety best I can. 

Now anyone who also has anxiety, (especially social) please remember it does not control you, your brain will trick you but at the end of the day, you decide how to react to what you’re feeling and how you handle it. I still have bad days, and neutral days, and probably always will, but I’ve made the effort not let it influence my decisions. 

No without a further delay, enjoy!

_____________________________________________________________

Huey was a lot of things. He was smart, maybe not always street smarts like Louie, but definitely had extensive knowledge of many recorded facts. He worked hard for himself and his brothers. He was responsible, taking extra care to ensure everything was always taken care of. He was logical and thorough. However a part of his brain worked against him constantly. He could argue with it using logic all day long, and it would never see reason. It was as though it ran on emotion alone. Fear and insecurity being its main drive. 

Now while Huey had been fighting this for a few years now, he wouldn’t let it control him. While his logic never worked well during this time when his brain fought with him, deep down he knew he was still in control. He didn't have to be afraid, or tense. He didn’t have to focus on what his body was feeling. By focusing on the bad, it only got worse. So when he got attacks, it may take a moment, but he was ignoring it before long. Clearly some days were worse than others, and those were the days when it came out of nowhere.

He hated those days, because it felt even more unwarranted. Why would his brain, he dubbed it Willard, attack him for no good reason. He hated Willard. It wasn’t like the times when he felt he said or did something to feel panicked about. That made sense to him in a weird way. No, some days Willard just came at him with its grotesque hands and awful lies. 

Louie and Dewy didn’t understand the first time he tried to explain to them what these attacks felt like, because he never really outwardly showed it. He appeared as though he was completely calm. He was good at not letting anyone know that his stomach had tied itself into many, many sheet bend knots. They couldn’t understand the heavy pressure that would settle itself upon his chest or how that pressure rose to his throat. However some days it felt as though someone, Willard, was wrapping its hands around his throat. Not in like a truly choking way, but his lungs would labor to push out air, the lump in his throat feeling in the way. 

He knew that his stomach wasn’t truly tied in sheet knots, or that his breathing had changed at all. He knew that there wasn’t a shadowy presence choking him out. He knew there was nothing to fear in the moment, not even life threatening (he had been in plenty of those situations and not once had Willard made itself known). And despite all those reminders, he could still feel the stinging behind his eyes, tears threatening to fall. 

When that happened, it's like everything else went into overdrive. He felt sick to his stomach, it was so tied up. He took deep breaths to alleviate the tightening, focusing heavily on how the air traveled from his chest and out his nose and mouth. And then Willard would start to taunt him. 

Why would you say that? 

That was stupid. 

Wow, they are really good at pretending to like you. 

It would be best if you never spoke again, you only ever make a fool of yourself anyway. 

Why would you say that!?! You really offended them, if they didn’t hate you before, they do now. 

You’re so self-focused, do you ever stop talking about yourself? 

No one cares about what you have to say. 

Why did you wave your hand like that? 

That was stupid. 

They are thinking about how weird you are.

About how much they can’t wait for you to leave. 

You really are an idiot. 

“I am not an idiot” Huey would hiss back at the voice. He was smarter than most, he knew a lot of things, and knew how to help people. His knowledge was a good thing. 

No one likes a know-it-all. 

You’re really condescending, always acting better than others. 

“I am not better, just smart,” Huey would protest weakly, as he would start to crack his knuckles, rubbing his hands together with far too much force, pulling against his feathers painfully. “I didn’t even do anything” Huey could feel the pressure building behind his eyes. He looked over to Louie who was laughing with Webby. 

Look at them laugh at you.

That’s embarrassing. 

They can’t believe they have to pretend to like you. 

You really made a fool of yourself this time. 

“I didn’t do anything” Huey combats again, walking over to his brother and friend. Webby bounced on her toes when he approached, Louie giving his usual lazy smile. 

“Huey! Louie had this great idea to train an octopus to be a butler, doesn’t that sound amazing!” 

“Well Octopi are one of the most intelligent species on planet Earth. However because of that, I feel like they are too intelligent to be obedient to any commands” Huey speaks before thinking, the dread at his words already loaded as more ammo for Willard. 

“Well phooey” Louie pouts, “That was a good idea too.” He shrugs before striking up another conversation with Webby, brainstorming other ideas for a butler. 

Look at them. They are so angry with you shooting down that idea. 

Louie is annoyed with you. Why do you always ruin his fun? 

Annoying know-it-all, acting like you’re smarter and better than Louie. 

Louie is angry that you think he’s stupid. 

“Hey Huey, are you ok?” Webby tilts her head at him. He can’t tell if she’s actually worried or if she wants him to leave her and Louie alone. Louie glances at him, eyes narrowing when they meet his own. 

“Yup. Couldn’t be better.” He smiles at Webby, avoiding Louie’s gaze. He quickly makes his exit, continuing to smile at them until he’s out of sight. 

Wow, nice job, idiot. 

You’re so stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid. 

He takes a deep breath. In. Out. In. Out. I’m in charge, not Willard. It doesn’t control how I am feeling. I do. And yet, today, he struggled to regain control of his head. Huey jumps, following the hand on his shoulder, finding a deep green sleeve covering the wrist. He looks into Louie’s eyes, searching for anything decipherable emotion. Even if doing so is next to impossible with Willard in his head right now. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong Huey.”

“But you’re idea-”

“Was stupid, I was only joking around” Louie tightens his grip on his shoulder. 

“But-”

“No. Now what is it saying this time?” Louie continues to insist, winning out against Huey’s weak protest. 

“I’m stupid”

“A lie”

“I’m a know-it-all.”

“That’s ok.”

“That I think I’m better than everyone”

“No you don’t. If anyone does, it’s me. You care about everyone.” 

“I should stop talking”

“Why? You never say anything wrong”

“But I’m awkward and say stupid annoying things and have trouble reading social cues, and-”

“Huey stop.” He quickly shuts up, pulling his fists clothes to his chest. When did he start rubbing his hands together again? He rubs harder, against the grain of his feathers, wincing at the pull, but not stopping. 

Louie throws his arm around him, poking his cheek with one finger. “Repeat after me, I’m going to be telling you some facts you forgot, so don’t go forgetting them again.” Huey nods, hunching his shoulders further. The prickling behind his eyes was growing stronger, but he hadn’t started crying. Yet. 

“You’re not stupid.”

“I’m not stupid.”

“We love to hear all your facts and woodchuck recitations”

Huey looks at him in doubt, he only returns the pointed look at waves at him to continue, “You love to hear my facts and woodchuck recitations.”

“You’re not stupid”

“I already said that.”

“Say it again,”

“I’m not stupid.”

“You are great as you are. Everyone loves you.”

“I am gr-” He struggles to say the word great. Louie is patient, giving him time to win this battle. 

Louie always hated when Huey would get stuck in his head like this. He was one of the most reasonable ducks he knew, so it was always upsetting to see his brother struggle against believing anything positive about himself. 

“I am great as I am.” Huey finally says, his words trembling from his beak, “Everyone loves me.”

Huey could feel the weight slowly lifting from himself, he took a few deep breaths at Louie’s encouragement, closing his eyes to focus on mentally repeating the words once again. Afterwards he always felt stupid, letting Willard lie to him like that. Believe Willard for even a moment. He knew his worth, why did he forget it every few months? 

Huey opened his eyes at the feeling of another arm coming around him from his other side. Dewey smiled at him, giving a thumbs up. 

“I need help if you’re up for it Hues.” Dewey tightens his side hug, reaching over with his other hand to disentangle his hands. 

“Oooh are we having a hugging party? I want in!” Webby’s joyous voice sounds next to his ear as she body slams into him from the front, laughing as Huey hugs her back. 

Yes Huey Duck was a lot of things, but alone was not one of them. He smiles at Dewey and Louie and Webby, laughing in relief. Just another battle won. Unfortunately, a few tears were shed this time. 

“I’m sorry Huey, did I hurt you!?” 

“No Webby, I’m just happy” He gives her another quick hug, along with a pat on the back. “What did you need help with Dewey?” 

Then there were the days that Huey couldn’t bring himself to really love or hate. In all honesty they were preferable to the other end of the spectrum when his emotions would go haywire and to the extreme. However these days had their own drawbacks and were exhausting in a different sense. 

He had woken up feeling ready for the day, his teeth were brushed, his shirt clean and hat comfortably on his head. Breakfast was a simple affair, however, and he’s still not sure what set it off, but he could feel the beginning tingles of anxiety creeping up his arms, his hands seizing up. 

He glared at them, irritation building up at the idea of a perfectly good day going to waste with Willard in his head. Unfortunately, the first side effect of these types of attacks are the irrational irritable anger that came before. He would feel annoyed at the smallest of things, and he was not pleasant to be around when that happened. 

He separated himself from his brothers, finding solace in the library. And slowly but surely, the anger diminished, but then so did his joy. He was now completely numb. Well not completely. He got up to join everyone for lunch, knowing he would be better company now. 

He sat between his brothers, content to just eat. He listened to Dewey and Webby excitedly chat about that afternoon's adventure, discussing everything they would attempt and what they hoped to find. Louie would chip in with his desire to add to his growing collection of valuables. If his brothers noticed his mood, they didn’t say anything. 

He would feel small bursts of joy from one of Dewey’s jokes, a spark of excitement alongside Webby or slight irritation at Louie's schemes. But the emotions wouldn’t last long. He didn’t feel any particular emotion strongly and over all felt content. He was quieter than usual, and just felt the need to observe. 

He felt as though he should be concerned at the lack of emotion on these days, but again preferred this to in insenant taunting with Willard on his bad days. So he called these his content days. Nothing overly negative, but also no positives either. However some days this state would be overridden if he started to talk incessantly, then Willard would make an appearance. So it was in his best interest to just be a neutral party, silently observing and enjoying everyone's company. 

When he took his seat on the plane, Louie was once again the first one to initiate contact. He didn’t say anything, clearly enjoying the silence. He sat close to Huey, shoulders pushed together and he didn’t initiate any conversation. He appreciated this, because he did not feel like being a conversationalist today. 

Dewey was next, quick to lean his back against his other arm, continuing to chat wildly with Webby, however being more controlled and still in his action compared to other days. He could tell Webby noticed, but enjoyed his brother's silent support nonetheless. She only turned her head in confusion. 

Webby loved her friends, the triplets. They were all so different but so similar at the same time. They were also a complex puzzle with new pieces of information being revealed with time. Like now for instance. Something was wrong with Huey, maybe, the others didn’t act like there was. He was quieter than normal. He was uniquely the middle one when it came to volume. Dewey was the loudest, always having something to say. Huey was a step down, always offering information. And Louie was a sweet talker, only using his voice when necessary. 

Watching them sit so closely together, and she would have to say she was amazed at Dewey’s ability to sit still for this long, in what was clearly a quiet call for support for their older brother, was sweet to witness. 

She loved her friends, but was also a little jealous she would never truly understand the bond they held for one another. She had only had Granny for a majority of his life. They had always had one another, a silent language being perfected between them for the last twelve years. A secret triplet language that was almost spoken telepathically from their eyes and body language. 

She watched as Huey sighed loudly. Not with malice, or annoyance, almost like he had been holding his breath and hadn’t realized it. She watched as Dewey pushed himself further against Huey and Louie threw a foot into Huey’s lap. She didn’t understand, and was afraid to ask. Huey gave her a small smile before returning to the emotionless state he had been in for the majority of the afternoon. 

“Don’t worry Webby, I’m ok” Huey spoke suddenly, starting the other ducklings. “Just one of those days.”

The boys nodded in understanding, Dewey giving her a thumbs up. “Heubert here should be fine by tomorrow, if not the end of the day.” Huey rolled his eyes at him, before relaxing further in his seat, hands limp in his lap. 

“Ok, I don’t understand, but clearly Dewey and Louie do” They boys exchange glances, having another one of those silent conversations that she would never be a part of. Louie gestured his head towards her, and Huey looked deep in though for a moment before nodding. 

“Well Webby what is going on is-” Louie started to explain everything to her, the rest of the plane ride filled with new knowledge, and questions mostly answered by everyone but the duck in question. 

Heubert Duck was a lot of things. He was smart, and had extensive knowledge of many recorded facts. He worked hard for himself and his family. He was responsible, taking extra care to ensure everything was always taken care of. He was logical and thorough. His brain worked against him some days, but at the end of it all he was ok. He was in control, and would always have help when he had trouble remembering he was in control. Huey Duck was not alone and that was wonderful.

[acraftedmistake]

A Person Who Has Never Played MCSM Writes A Story About MCSM Chp. 7

SEVENTH CHAPTER YAY

This was a lot of fun to write! Hope you guys enjoy! ;<;b

“I’m sorry--What?” Jesse fumbled with his words. How do you react to a statement like that?

Aiden saw his friends--and Olivia’s--thrown off expressions. A few had mouths hanging open while others’ faces practically begged for him to elaborate. Stella being the more extreme of the bunch with widened eyes.

“Think about it!” He said to the bewildered crowd “Jesse’s been way too cooperative, he’s described events that don’t match up with ours--heck--he doesn’t know what we’re talking about! And since the portals weren’t made for entering different worlds, the next logical idea would be they came from another universe.”

Maya raised her head up, “That… Makes sense.” She joined Aiden’s side.

“No, hold on, how did ANY part of your conclusion sound ‘logical’?” Stella sputtered.

“Yeah, You can’t say somethin’ makes sense ‘n… Expect it to.” Gill raised a brow.

Olivia hopped off the stairs and went to Jesse as quickly as she could, ducking down to avoid attention. Not like she would care if everyone was watching her right now. She found her mind too wrapped up around the mere IDEA of entering a different universe being possible. ‘Hearing it out loud, it’s so obvious! Why didn’t I think of it before?’ She questioned. Maybe she was too shaken up on being surrounded by enemies and their bizarre behaviors to consider it a possibility. She clutched her small book tightly and slid to Jesse’s side.

“It’d explain why everything’s felt unnatural.” Maya shifted towards Jesse and Olivia. “You said it yourself back at the library, Stella. It was weird around Olivia.”

“Yes. I did.” Stella admitted, “But it was specifically about Olivia. I didn’t say anything about Jesse.”

“Yeah, I gotta agree with Stella here.” Spoke Gill, “No offense t’you Aiden, it’s just… Your idea feels really extreme.”

Gill looked back to the neat pile of books on the table “ ‘N these books are super old, so if we go offa them, they could be outdated or wrong.”

Stella sighed with relief and placed her hand on Gill’s shoulder, “Thank you, Gill. Glad to know I’m not the only one who thinks this situation is crazy--Wait a second. Cassie!”

The red head jumped up.

“What are your thoughts on this whole universe… Jesse… Portal situation?” Stella waved her hands about.

“Maybe… There’s an in-between?” Cassie received an array of weird looks from everyone. She pushed up her glasses, “Like you said, we don’t know anything about portals. Maybe Jesse snatched Olivia from another universe and something… Happened?”

Cassie began tugging on a strand of her red hair, “Maybe messed up memories is a side effect of going through portals--I don’t know! If I knew more about portals, I could come up with a better idea.”

Gill blinked a couple of times.

“So… You’re in the middle?” he tilted his head.

“Yeah. Guess I am.” Cassie shoved her hands into the pockets of her hoodie.

Gill nodded. Stella decided not to comment on her friend’s statement.

“Adding onto what Gill said,” Stella started, “I don’t recall any books about successful portals.”

“Do you have a better theory?” Maya folded her arms.

Stella straightened her posture and adjusted her top, “Yes, I believe I do.”

Stella spun around and faced Aiden. She pushed her hair behind her ear and started,

“I’m sure we all remember Cavern City…”

Everyone listened in on Stella’s potential answer to this whole mess. Olivia was invested too despite knowing whatever Stella would say is false. Jesse became curious himself.

However, as Stella continued her explanation, something in Jesse’s mind was preventing him from concentrating.

‘All this talk about some city I’ve never heard of. If they’re so certain I’ve been there before, wouldn’t they find it weird I don’t remember it?’

Then Jesse remembered; this wasn’t some random city he’s never heard of, a place stowed away or hidden from history, this was a city in a different universe.

This thought ignited a flame which fueled his train of thought. Its tempo was getting faster and faster by the second.

He and Olivia had not entered a world. They’ve entered a place far more distant. They were in an entire  different universe. Away from their home, their loved ones, and by the sounds of it, no known way to get back. They’re stuck. Stuck with Aiden and Maya and Cassie and Stella and all these people who hate him.

Aiden’s group didn’t seem too caught up about this “universe” situation. Their lack of attention made Jesse feel worse. A different panic took over him. Not the type of panic you’d feel where your life could’ve been ended, or when lightning would flash. This panic made him want to escape. Like a fly that had been trapped in a bowl, crashing about, desperately wanting a way out but no way of knowing how.

“Olivia,” Jesse muttered, his voice shaky and hands clammy. His words mixed with his breathing. He didn’t want to interrupt Stella or have the others hearing them. This was a conversation between the two of them.

“Yeah?” Olivia said back with a voice as quiet.

“We’re… We’re in another universe.” They both knew. Everyone did. But the new weight of the situation gave those words a new kind of impact.

“I know.” She clasped her hands together. Her whole body was stiff, “I’ve been sorta… Freaking out about it. Internally. A bit of an existential crisis.”

Jesse nodded.

Olivia added on, “From what I know, I’m not supposed to be here. It’s been bothering me. A lot.”

She was gone in this world. She didn’t want to believe she was ‘dead’. Maybe the other Olivia went missing or ran away. Maybe she was kidnapped. Maybe she went through a portal and never came back. Anything, literally anything, would be better than knowing she was dead.

No matter how haunting the idea was, a dark peculiarity became apparent to her; not only did she want to hear about how she might’ve died, but if she had a grave. And if she could see it.

A weird internal battle was going on in her head. “Who would want to know how they died?” and “Who wouldn’t?”

“I have no idea how we’re going to prove we’re telling the truth.” Jesse said, keeping his voice low. “We have nothing physical on us--even if we did, I don’t think it’d help any. Anything we say could be shot down, unless-” Olivia had to nudge Jesse mid sentence and directed his attention towards Stella who, along with everyone else, was waiting for his reply.

His eyes darted about while he tried to recall what Stella was talking about. He could recall snippets of “Cavern City”. Were they expecting him to defend himself? An explanation?

Anything was better than remaining silent.

“Stella, you bring up a lot of solid points, I can’t deny that.” He tried sounding as assured as possible, having no idea what Stella had said. “There is one major issue: I have zero idea what Cavern City is. At all. I didn’t know it existed.”

Stella groaned loudly, “I wasn’t only talking about Cavern City! You can’t FORGET a major event from last week yet somehow remember how much you loathe us! It’s inconsistent!”

“Last week?” Olivia questioned, brushing the hair out of her eyes, “We were training with Radar in a forest last week. Nothing about a city.” Olivia said. She remembered showing Radar how to focus and to always be aware of his surroundings; he was quite jumpy but the fighting spirit was there. Radar lost his glasses at one point and continued charging towards a monster. It was actually a tree. She didn’t have the heart to tell him.

Stella must’ve had a whole speech debunking Jesse’s story. How everything was clearly fabricated and she had all the facts to prove otherwise; Olivia recalling--confirming--what Jesse had said must’ve blown down a great portion of her validity.

Stella sunk down into one of the couches with her mouth left open.

“You truly don’t remember Cavern City?” She asked.

“Doesn’t ring a bell. I’m Sorry.” Jesse shook his head.

“I am curious about this city. Could you elaborate?” Olivia asked the group.

Stella perked up from her seat.

Everyone looked like they were ready to share what they knew.

Stella started, “To make a long story short, it’s a city deep underground which can be accessed through a portal--”

Cassie Rose interrupted, “A portal Jesse went through hoping it’d lead to the location of his crazy, eyeless jerk!”

“And when he didn’t see any signs of him, he started ripping it apart--” Maya added on before getting cut off by Gill “Dunno why ya thought that would do somethin’.”

Gill’s comment was aimed towards Jesse.

Aiden stepped up, “We had to come over and--”

“Beat some sense into you!” Cassie said, glaring at Jesse and curling her hands to fists. She looked back at Aiden who wasn’t too happy with her addition.

“Sorry. Wasn’t needed.”

Aiden stayed quiet for a moment.

“Yeah, that’s the jist of it. We confronted you in the city’s palace, fought, a real bad quake happened and wrecked everything. You--I mean--our Jesse hit his head real hard and was out cold for a few days.”

Olivia started brainstorming. Jesse, on the other hand, had no idea where to START with this load of information.

He felt guilt building up inside him.

‘Why?’ Was the first question to pop into mind.

Why is he feeling guilty for a crime he’s never committed? Was it because his name was attached to the situation? Not only was Cassie Rose, Aiden, Maya, Gill, and Stella hurt by his actions, but an entire CITY filled with innocent people too.

He didn’t know how he could make things better.

“You know…” Olivia broke the silence, “The Cavern City situation sounds a lot like the time Aiden took over Sky City.” While it wasn’t an exact recreation, she found the similarities between the two events interesting.

The room was quiet. Aiden and his group were completely bewildered. No one knew what to say. It didn’t help Olivia made it sound like a call back everyone knew about and understood. Someone let out a chuckle in disbelief.

Jesse nearly choked on his own spit the moment those words left her mouth.

“Remember… When Aiden tried to...?” She slowly turned her head to Jesse. His eyes were wide.

“Did you… Not tell Aiden about this?” Olivia asked.

Jesse’s heart had stopped. Heck, everything stopped. The one thing he avoided mentioning and Olivia so happened to reach that comparison. Jesse saw Aiden out of the corner of his eyes, more shocked than him.

“I’m sorry--Sky city?” Aiden asked.

“I…” Jesse said slowly, “... Didn’t think it was relevant?” He shrugged uncertainly.

Probably not his strongest excuse. He originally didn’t want to share the story again in fear Aiden would get upset or they’d be reminiscing on the times they hated each other. The situation was bad enough already.

“I’m sorry, you didn’t think Sky City was relevant? In this situation? With Aiden?”

Jesse could only shrug again. There wasn’t any way to defend himself that wouldn’t make him look like an even BIGGER idiot.

“Jesse!” Olivia put her hands on her hips.

Jesse sputtered and immediately pointed at her “Did you tell Cassie Rose about the murders?!”

“The what.” Cassie said.

“Wait, what happened in Sky City?!” Aiden asked again, visibly freaking out.

“You tried to kill Jesse.” Olivia briefly explained before going back to Jesse “I don’t see how Cassie’s murders are related to you not telling Aiden about Sky City!”

“I thought he already KNEW!” Jesse exclaimed.

“We’re in a different UNIVERSE, Jesse!” Olivia shot back.

Jesse threw his arms into the air “We learned that not even an HOUR ago, how was I supposed to know?!”

“Hold it, hold it!” Stella stood between the two, putting their little freak out on hold. “I’m sorry, now I know you’re lying. Aiden? Hurting Jesse? He couldn’t hurt Jesse even if you paid him to!” She forced out a laugh.

Jesse pushed her away, “Well I hate to burst your bubble but he tried killing me TWICE.”

Aiden went white. His pupils shrunk.

His friends were equally as shocked. Stella was speechless.

Gill looked at Aiden then to Olivia and Jesse.

“Are you sure we’re talking about the same Aiden?” He tilted his head.

Jesse stammered on his words. What type of question was that? What OTHER Aidens were there?!

“YEAH, I’m sure I remember the guy who attempted to kill me multiple times!”

Cassie stepped in, “Okay let’s stop talking about attempted murder and start talking about the successful ones! Explain!” she jabbed her finger into Jesse’s chest.

Jesse shoved the hand down, “We were in some big mansion with a bunch of other people! You killed 3 innocent people and then tried to add me and my friends to the list! You were-- You were insane!”

Cassie’s hand curled into a tight fist; she was doing everything in her power to not sock Jesse in the face right now. Maya saw the fire blazing in Cassie’s eyes and placed her hand on her friend’s shoulder, settling Cassie down.

“Big talk coming from you!” Gill shouted back, sizing up Jesse and cracking his knuckles. Aiden shouted something to Gill then the room bursted into a large argument. People were yelling over each other and exclaiming what one person did to another. Accusations were mixing up with MORE accusations. Fingers were being pointed, voices had started to merge together into complete nonsense. While Jesse couldn’t hear every curse, threat, and claim thrown at him, he could feel everyone’s resentment. Olivia was extremely overwhelmed with what was going on and couldn’t decipher who was saying what, or how to respond. Her head kept zipping around from person to person, trying to make sense of what was being said.

If it wasn’t someone shouting at Jesse, it was Aiden or Maya who were raising their voices trying to get everybody to settle down.

Jesse caught a small piece of someone’s rant, “... And you hurt anybody you don’t like…!”

“Hurt?!” Jesse repeated, “I did nothing wrong except stopping you people from hurting me and my friends!”

This was getting more and more upsetting. He couldn’t hear what they were accusing him of and wasn’t given a chance to share his side of the situation.

The shouting soon stopped and everyone had to catch their breaths.

Not knowing how long this silence would last, Jesse started talking.

“Do you guys only remember the bad experiences we’ve had? Do none of you recall the times we’ve saved the world? We stopped the Wither Storm, the--!”

“What in Sweet Hero is a Wither Storm?!” Stella asked, horrified.

Jesse froze. His mouth gaping open as he stared at Stella.  He tried making the shape of the wither storm with his hands, “It’s this giant, overpowered wither abomination Ivor created--”

“What’s an Ivor?!” Gill asked on the same level of horrification as Stella.

“Oh my gosh--” Jesse put his hands on his head and had to take a deep breath before continuing, “He was an ex member of The Order Of The Stone!”

Jesse was about to go on when he noticed an equal mixture of both confused and judgemental stares. Jesse returned a puzzled look back. Did they not…?

“You know? The Order Of The Stone? Gabriel the Warrior,” He started counting off the members with his fingers, “Ellegaard the Redstone Engineer, Magnus the--”

“Those sound fake.” Maya said.

Yes, she did believe Jesse, but at this point she had to admit this whole thing was starting to sound ridiculous.

Stella scoffed, “Yeah, if they’re such a big deal how come we’ve never heard of them?”

“IT--!” Jesse threw his arms into the air, “BECAUSE--!” He turned to Olivia with a look of desperation “Olivia please tell me The Order of the Stone is real. I didn’t hallucinate them, right?”

“No they’re totally real.” She reassured him.

Patting him on the back, she continued, “I still remember embarrassing myself in Red Stonia!” Could’ve picked anything else besides that one moment, but it was the first thing to come to mind.

“Hold on.” Maya cut in between Jesse and Olivia. She stared down at Jesse, “Have we been having this whole conversation without you knowing what entering a different universe means?”

Jesse sealed his lips. He didn’t want to answer.

“Jesse.” Maya said.

He stared at the floor as his face grew a light shade of red .

“Isn’t it like going to the Nether? Or a different world except…” He mumbled, still avoiding eye contact, “... Farther?”

Jesse caught a glance of Olivia being dumbfounded by his response.

Maya breathed in and folded her arms “Well, you got one thing right.”

“Like going to a different world?” Stella repeated Jesse’s words.

“Oh no, it is FAR more complicated.”

“Elaborate?” Jesse asked.

Gill immediately shot his arm into the air eagerly, “Oh! I know somethin’ bout it! Mevia ‘n Hadrian taught me!”

“Hm.” Stella stepped aside.

“Take it away.”

Gill smiled brightly, as if proud of himself, and shut his eyes tightly. Concentrating.

“Y’see, when you go to another universe, you might see people you recognize there.” He held up both of his hands, index fingers up. “But a lot of different events could’ve taken place in THEIR universe that didn’t happen in YOUR universe. This changes a whole bunch of things for the world and the people livin’ there.”

Jesse stood still and thought to himself. Trying to think of what Gill said in a way he could understand. “So it’s like… Entering a different room in a house?”

“No!” Stella huffed impatiently.“If you go from your bedroom to your bathroom, you’re still in the same house. Entering another universe is like entering a completely different house! A new layout, the people living there have a completely different history than you--you get the picture.”

Aiden cleared his throat and adjusted his jacket, “Alright, now that that’s out of the way… Our next plan should be figuring out how to get Jesse and Olivia ho-”

Stella shoved her hand in Aiden’s face, promptly shutting him up.

“I’m going to stop you right there.” She put her hand down. “Aiden, I know you want to do what’s right, bring Olivia back to her--hopefully real--universe, but we can’t blindly accept whatever Jesse’s a part of!”

Aiden frowned.

Stella clasped her hands together, “Listen, this could be an elaborate trap set up by The Awakening! We can’t take any chances or waltz into portal territory completely unprepared!”

Stella kept rambling on with her concerns. Gill kept nodding to every point Stella made, Jesse was listening to the one sided conversation with confusion, Cassie kept pulling on a strand of her hair while sitting on the arm of the couch, and Maya was watching Aiden trying to remain patient.

Then there was Olivia. She had been the quietest of them all. She had never been so amazed yet terrified at the same time. To be in the place where history had changed, a place where she lived and died in, it was mind blowing.

The concept of another universe--reality--made sense. However, people of the same name and faces she and Jesse knew leading different lives fascinated her. Aiden, Cassie, Maya, Gill, Stella, their stories--their entire lives--have been altered. They’ve experienced hardships she’s never had, they’ve formed different connections, bonds, the way they acted and thought… It’s all changed. Should she consider these people enemies anymore?

Are they the same people? Or were they strangers who wore the faces of the familiar.

Jesse faked a cough. Loudly. Olivia was brought back to reality and Stella stopped mid-lecture. Stella turned around to face Jesse with a glare.

Jesse gave her a small wave, “Yeah, uhm… What’s The Hero’s Awakening?”

The moment those words left his mouth all warmth and liveliness of the room had been sucked out and Jesse found himself surrounded by rigid people with hate-filled eyes. He felt their glares pierce through him.

It was too late to retract his question.

“I... Keep hearing that name and--”

“It’s a cult.” Maya answered coldly.

Jesse froze up. His throat tightened. His mind repeated those words over and over.

A cult.

A cult.

A cult.

He began breathing fast like he had awoken from a nightmare. That couldn’t be true. It’s a lie. It’s a lie. They wanted to scare him. This shouldn’t scare him.  Why did this scare him?

Jesse had to force his rigid body to look back up at Maya. He licked his lips, about to ask another question--

Suddenly, there was knocking at the door, causing everyone to jump. They all stared. Not saying a word.

“Come in.” Aiden said aloud with hesitation.

The door swiftly opened and in came Radar, whose face was hidden behind a clipboard and a pen held tightly in his other hand. At first glance his appearance could’ve been mistaken for the usual attire Jesse had always seen him in. Upon further inspection, he saw Radar wore a green, one buttoned suit which hid most of his light brown vest underneath it along with a blue tie that popped from the suit. He also wore dark, cool gray straight pants and polished, black oxford shoes. His hair was still the same. Thick, black, and swooped up. Maybe it was a little shorter?

He was far less… Lively. The energy that typically accompanied Radar was completely absent and instead there stood a man who spoke flatly and stood stiffly.

“Hello, sir. I thought I’d let you know the guards have searched the shrine thoroughly and have discovered a man made--” He lowered his clipboard for a split second before yelping and immediately covering his face again. His pen fell to the floor.

“Wh…” Radar trembled, “What is HE doing here?” He pointed at Jesse, his hands shaking. His flat tone became wobbly.

Aiden approached him carefully “Radar, I know this looks bad--”

“Terrible, sir.”

“But this might not be the real Jesse, or our Jesse. We were just talking about how he’s from another universe!”

“Possibly.” Cassie Rose added. She had shoved her hands back into her pockets and eyed Radar with a scowl on her face.

Aiden rolled his eyes and bobbed his head, “Possibly.”

Radar cautiously lowered his clipboard to get a better look at Jesse, who was smiling warmly, grateful to see a familiar friendly face.

Radar breathed in and adjusted his tie. He continued holding onto the board with a tight grip as his shaking eased. His quick breaths soon slowed and his once distressed face turned into curiosity. Then to fascination. He pushed up his glasses and squinted at the brunet as he slowly approached him. Once he was a foot away from Jesse he stopped to scan him.

Radar stuck his hand out and studied his hand, flipping it about like he was expecting something to happen.

“I do feel a sort of… Disconnection with him if.” He stroked his chin.

“He has all the qualities of Jesse--I mean--it IS Jesse, yet I don’t find myself… As petrified around him.”

Radar stared into Jesse’s eyes for a bit longer before his face scrunched up.

“However, I can’t continue looking at his face.” He separated the two of them with his board.

Jesse knew Radar must’ve had a good reason for saying what he did, but it still stung.

Cassie Rose grinded her shoe into the floor “I guess if we ever have another universe problem, we’ll get Mr. Know-it-all to help out next time.” she grumbled under her breath.

Radar turned around to talk back and jumped when he saw how many people were in the room. Gracious, was it crowded. He scanned the whole room; he spotted Maya, who flashed him a smile, and then he saw--

“Olivia?” He let out a small gasp. He hugged his board and let his mouth hang for a moment. “This is--This…”

Radar combed his hair with his hands. He started to pace “Oh Hero… You said they’re from another universe?”

“Yeah.” Maya nodded.

“These two--” He looked at Olivia and Jesse then back to Aiden “Were these the two ‘kids’ you brought to question from before?”

“Yeah,” Aiden said, “It’s a wild story--”

Everyone began talking to Radar about their eventful evening. All except for Olivia and Jesse, who were standing a distance away from the group, silent in a room full of conversation. Olivia couldn’t think of any way she could contribute. Aiden’s group was probably going to retell what they already knew.

Jesse found himself unable to stay still. He was tapping his foot faster and faster waiting for everyone to finish their seemingly never ending conversation. A minute had yet to pass before Jesse cupped his hands around his mouth and said “Hey, Radar reminded me of something!” Loud enough for them to hear.

The talking dwindled.

Jesse stepped up.

“You’ve heard bits and pieces about yourselves. What about us? What do you know about us?”

Olivia joined his side, “Yeah, I’m curious too.”  Her eyes instinctively landed on Cassie Rose who pressed her lips together.

“Right,” Cassie said looking away, “I did promise we’d talk.”

“Well, we can start. What do you know about me?” Jesse asked. He didn’t want anyone to change the subject, he didn’t care if people didn’t trust him, he wanted an answer. They were gonna talk about this right here. Right now.

All talking had ceased.

Jesse waited for somebody--anybody--to start talking. No one uttered a word. Were they afraid to? Or did they not know how to begin?

“You’re mental.” Gill said, breaking the silence.

Jesse flinched. Yes, he wanted to hear about himself, but the first bit of description he’s finally gotten and it was that?

Aiden was about to speak before Stella intervened, “The word ‘mental’ is rather vague. I think the words ‘A Two-timing lunatic’ paint a better picture.”

Jesse heard another name shot at him before several more came. No one was shouting over each other unlike last time, so he was able to make out a few words.

None of them were positive.

Jesse managed to hear Radar, in his quiet voice, describe him as ‘An absolute madman’.

Mixed in with their faces of disgust and anger made the spotlight on him more overwhelming.

Before the room could spiral out of control again Aiden raised his voice, “Alright, alright.”

Everyone quieted down.

“I think you all got your points across.” He eyed them all as he pushed through the group and went to Jesse and Olivia.

“Ignore them.” He told Jesse. “A lot has happened to us over the years and--” He closed his eyes and breathed in, “And it was too much for Jesse. He resorted to more… Unethical approaches. Things got out of hand.”

Aiden’s face lightened up and folded his arms “But Jesse’s still our friend. And we’re going to do everything we can to get him back.”

Aiden continued his speech in a confident tone. Jesse was drawn in. Olivia found herself drifting aside and looking past Aiden’s shoulder. She caught the expressions of his friends. They were uneasy. A few were shaking their heads. They didn’t look annoyed, but were visibly upset. Olivia studied their reactions for a moment longer before bringing her attention back to Aiden.

“And what do you mean by ‘a lot has happened’?” Olivia asked.

Aiden’s smile weakened.

He didn’t say anything at first. When he finally did, he started off slowly.

“We went through some big battles. Had to save the world from an enormous lava creature, we’re still dealing with The Hero’s Awakening...” His smile faded completely and he locked eyes with Olivia, “... Lost friends.”

Cassie joined Aiden’s side, “And Olivia, as you probably know, you were one of them.”

A pit formed in Olivia’s stomach along with a lump in her throat that refused to go down. She held her hands together and thought ‘Of course.’

Of course it ended up being the worst case scenario. Of course her dying ended up being true. It couldn’t have been anything else.

With the most steady voice she could muster up she asked “What happened?”

Aiden started biting on inside of his cheek, “You were out exploring an old, underground temple in the middle of the day. Then, out of nowhere, a horrible quake happened in the middle of the day. No one was expecting it to happen, we were all caught by surprise.”

He clenched his fists, “We were told a large crack opened up and... You fell in.”

He breathed in and stepped back. The story ended on an abrupt note, but Olivia believed she was told the perfect amount. Nothing severely graphic nor too vague to make her have to ask more questions. She had finally received her answer. There was finally relief. It was done. She wouldn’t have to worry about questions constantly eating her up. She had no reason to think about it any more.

“You know,” Maya said, leaning against the wall, “Jesse and Olivia being from a different universe is kinda nice. Our Olivia isn’t back from the dead, but this isn’t the Jesse we know.”  They murmured to one another. A few heads nodded.

Jesse folded his arms, “So exploring is out of the picture because people will think I’m some maniac and Olivia isn’t supposed to be here at all?” He sounded genuinely disappointed knowing he’d have to be confined into a single area with these people. He knows they aren’t technically his enemies but they still didn’t like him.

“That might not be the case.” Radar said. His body faced Olivia and Jesse while his face was hidden behind the clipboard again, “If you two would like, I wouldn’t mind giving a tour of Obsidian Town. I could show you around and tell you its history.”

“Really?” Jesse’s face lit up. Olivia was equally enthusiastic. She had caught quick glimpses of this area, so a tour would be a wonderful opportunity to learn more about this town! Maybe they’d learn about this universe too!

Plus Jesse wouldn’t be cooped up inside their whole time here. She couldn’t remember the last time Jesse stayed in one place without  busting out or exploring.

Maya and Aiden exchanged concerned looks.

“Are you sure?” Maya asked.

“One of us can go with you.” Aiden offered.

Radar shook his head, “No, I insist. I think having a tour would be beneficial for the three of us! We’d do it in the middle of the day when everyone’s sleeping to avoid any unwanted attention.”

He turned back to Jesse and Olivia, “As long as it’s okay with the two of you. I’m a bit of an early bird myself, but I can always find a different time--”

“No!” Jesse hopped up, unable to contain his smile and scaring Radar. “That’s perfect!”  

“If you say so.” Aiden said, he shifted back to Radar “But could it wait? They just got here.”

Olivia added on “Maybe we could do it tomorrow?” She looked at Jesse, “I think I’m speaking for the both of us when I say I am exhausted. This is a lot to take in at 3 AM.”

“It’s 4 AM now.” Gill stated.

“Jeez, no wonder I feel like garbage. A different universe on top of the fact it’s 4 in the morning? It’s a miracle I hadn’t passed out yet.” Jesse said.

Everyone, except for Olivia, was put off.

Aiden pushed aside the weird feeling, “Yeah, I can imagine how draining this whole situation must be for the two of you.”

He began making his way to the stairs and motioned for them to follow him.

“We have a guest room,” He looked back at the pair, “There’s only one bed though, hope that’s okay.”

Jesse stretched, “Yep! Don’t mind at all. Worst case, I’ll sleep on the floor.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Aiden opened the door to the guest room and it looked… Surprisingly nice.

Jesse wasn’t too sure what he was expecting from a guest room in Aiden’s house. He imagined it being cramped or dirty, but the room was rather spacious and tidy. The spruce floors and birch walls were bare, so the main features of this room was it’s single window, a neatly done, red bed with a light brown night stand beside it and a small lamp. Several boxes of various sizes surrounded a desk which was pushed far into the left corner of the room.

Jesse was delighted to see the bed was decently sized and could fit the two of them with no need to fight over the sheets. Olivia was glad Jesse wouldn’t have to sleep on the ground. However, she felt an uneasy emptiness accompany the room. The place was weirdly barren for how big it was and the boxes in the corner made her wonder if this used to be someone’s bedroom.

‘You’re overthinking about a guest room.’ Olivia told herself. She let out a yawn.

“Hope this’ll do.” Aiden said, “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Thanks, Aiden.” Olivia smiled. Aiden returned the smile and left the two alone. Her appreciation was genuine and… Odd. She never thought the day she was grateful for Aiden’s help would come. Their Aiden or not, it was weird nonetheless.

Jesse had flung off his shoes and flopped onto the bed, letting out a loud groan. He covered his face with his arm and laid still. He felt the blanket with his other hand. It was thick. You could suffocate a person with it if you were determined enough.

“I love beds.” Jesse said with a muffled voice, “So much.”

Olivia chuckled and slipped into the bed, placing the small book she’s held onto the nightstand. Her legs were sore. When was the last time she sat down today? She ran into the jungle temple with Jesse, walked all the way to Obsidian town, walked to and from the library, not to mention all the standing around. Who cares?! She was in bed!

She was looking forward to the tour with Radar, imagining the different structures this universe had to offer; curious about what’s changed or remained the same, what features they add to their buildings and why. Maybe Radar would talk about the shrines!

‘I shouldn’t be getting this excited before going to sleep.’ She took a few deep breaths to collect herself.

Jesse got under the blanket, “G’night Olivia.”

Olivia smiled, “Night, Jesse.”

She tucked herself in and closed her eyes.

Five  minutes passed and Jesse was still awake. Five became tenl. Ten became thirty. He was still wide awake. Jesse found himself stuck. Stuck with his own thoughts and what he’s learned.

He scratched the idea of awakening Olivia to talk.

‘You already dragged her through a portal, entered another universe, discovered she died, and now you want to wake her up at the crack of dawn?’ Jesse hoped Olivia was sleeping soundly. She didn’t deserve to be kept up all night, plagued with horrid possibilities and regret.

Why’d he have to be so thoughtless when discovering the portal? Why did he go through it? Why did he have to take poor Olivia with him?

He’ll make it up to her. He’ll find a way back home as soon as possible.

‘I wonder…’ He shifted around. ‘How awful the ‘me’ in this universe is…’ Bad enough for people to reject the idea he and Olivia came from another universe and instead believing Jesse’s current actions and nature were a front. An act.

It was enough to make him wonder what he--his counterpart--did to Aiden and his friends to have them believe Jesse’s kindness towards Olivia and his cooperativeness was fake.

There was another him.

Another Jesse.

Another Jesse who had lived a completely different life than him, who had history with everyone in this house. A Jesse who had caused others to suffer.

He had entered a place where he already exists. It terrified him.

What happened to him?

Jesse snapped out of his thoughts and could hear a conversation going on downstairs. He wished he could decipher the muffles.

But he had to sleep.

Jesse wasn’t sure if he COULD sleep. The sun was already cracking the sky, slowly releasing hues of orange and pushing away the dark blues of the night.

His mind couldn’t settle down.

How could he sleep?

‘Try.’ He told himself. He should at least try. He’ll need the energy for tomorrow.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Aiden took his time getting back downstairs to the others. He smiled to himself. He didn’t want to say it outloud, but Olivia’s “Thank you” made this stressful evening better.

He was trying to figure out how they would begin looking for a way to deal with this whole mess. None of them knew what activated the portal in the first place. Even if they did, finding the materials would be a difficult task. He could check out the journal Hadrian lent him for ideas or maybe ask Hadrian and Mevia themselves. If they taught Gill about universes, maybe they knew about the portals for them.

‘Petra has more… Interesting items. Could be worth stopping by her place.’ He reminded himself. As he approached the stairs, he could hear his friends--mainly Stella--talking.

“...This is why I have such a hard time believing Aiden’s theory.”

Aiden came to a stop and stood still, listening in on the conversation.

“I can take Jesse forgetting a majority of his life, I can take the idea of The Hero’s Awakening going the extra step and being able to pull off necromancy! I can’t believe a different universe. It feels like such a stretch!”

“Necromancy’s more logical than a universe with a good Jesse existing?” Maya asked.

Stella folded her arms, “We don’t have any concrete evidence! Come on, he said Aiden attempted to kill him. Twice. Doesn’t that sound ridiculous?”

“It does.” Maya admitted, “But Jesse wasn’t talking about the Aiden we know.”

“Puh-lease!” Stella laughed, “How bad could the Aiden in ‘his universe’ be?”

Stella’s laughter died down and she stopped to think.

“I do find it interesting he mainly talked about Aiden and Cassie,” Stella said, “Makes me curious what the rest of us are like in his supposed ‘universe’.”

“He did recognize us...” Gill stroked his beard.

“Didn’t like us.” Maya added.

Aiden leaned against the wall as the conversation began fading. A sour feeling began to build up inside his stomach. He tried to ignore it and shift his focus back onto getting Jesse and Olivia home. Instead, he began thinking about Jesse himself. What he said earlier.

He didn’t know why his other-self went to Sky City nor what he did there. The most context he got was from Olivia saying what happened in Cavern City ‘reminded her of Sky City’ and he nearly killed Jesse twice. Aiden’s head became hot.

‘You would never do that.’ Aiden tried to reassure himself.

He saw Sky City was a warning. A peek into what he could become. Who’s to say he wouldn’t end up like the Aiden Jesse knew given enough time?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Cassie Rose looked up and spotted Aiden sulking in the stairway. She slipped past Stella and Maya along with an extremely invested Gill. Radar went back to pick up the pen he dropped from earlier. Hopefully he wouldn’t comment on her sudden absence.

She approached Aiden.

“You doing okay?” Cassie asked and sat on the railings of the stairs.

“Thinking.” He answered.

“Thinking about what Jesse said?”

“Mm. I’m just--” He breathed in, “Why didn’t he tell us about the destruction of an entire city?”

“Maybe for the same reason none of us told him about Cavern City.” She suggested, resting her head back against the wall.

He hadn’t thought about it like that. Aiden wasn’t certain what Cassie’s--or his other friends--reasons for keeping quiet were, but he felt like he had to keep his mouth shut. When Rose first mentioned the possibility of amnesia, he wanted to brush the idea off and forget about it.

But he didn’t. In fact, the longer the night went on, the more he found himself believing Jesse lost chunks of his memory. Aiden didn’t want to bring up any reminders of the past; he was afraid it’d trigger Jesse’s memory and everything would spiral out of control again.

Of course, Aiden’s concerns did fade when Jesse shared his past experiences with him. No matter how strange Jesse’s stories sounded, a part of Aiden knew he was telling the truth.

He didn’t have to worry about Jesse regaining his memory anymore. Instead, he started worrying about their Jesse. The one who’s still out there.

“What about you?” Aiden asked Rose, “Aren’t you bothered by what he told you?” Hearing about how he almost killed Jesse felt like a punch in the gut. He couldn’t imagine how Rose must’ve felt when it was announced she murdered three people completely out of left field.

Cassie scrunched up her nose and shook her head, “Nope.”

Aiden blinked, “Really?”

She shrugged, “It caught me off guard. Jesse calling me insane was what got me the most. The whole ‘mansion murders’ sounded ridiculous. It doesn’t bother me.”

It bothered her.

It disturbed her.

She started off disgusted by Jesse’s words, but as she continued thinking about what he said more and more she felt disgusted with herself. Was it herself or this other Cassie Rose?

‘How could she?’ Cassie asked herself.

‘Could I do that?’ An uneasiness grew inside her. Cassie was still on the fence with Jesse coming from another universe. A part of her was hoping he wasn’t. She’d be eternally thankful if Jesse revealed everything he’s said today was a lie.

Curiosity clawed at her. Begging her to find out more.

A part of her mind knew it didn’t matter what she found out or what motivated the other Cassie. No matter the excuse, she took the lives of innocent people. The mere thought filled her with pure, unkempt rage. After what she’s witnessed, after what she’s been through, what would set her off to kill? Thinking about this made her frustratingly sick.

“Besides,” The two heard Stella say rather loudly, “I think you’re forgetting another important factor: None of the portals built before worked, so what makes The Shrine Of Eyes the exception?”

“She does bring up a valid point.” Radar said. He began jotting notes down onto the paper his clipboard held.

“Why it was successful doesn’t matter anymore.” Aiden announced, scaring the rest of the group. He stepped off the stairs, “What matters is knowing how we can reactivate it and getting those guys back home.”

Everyone nodded in unison.

Aiden saw Stella open her mouth. “Even if we don’t believe Jesse. I’m sure none of us like the idea of two Jesse’s running around.”

Stella closed her mouth and shuddered at the thought.

Radar raised hand.

“What’s up, Radar?” Aiden asked.

Radar pushed up his glasses and cleared his throat, “Yes--Uh, Sir--I was wondering if… I could be caught up on what’s happened.”