#exo hanahaki

[wolveswithblackpearls]

you made flowers grow in my lungs-

- i can't fucking breathe.

(admin s)

[kpopimagi]

A Flower Under The Rain [Part 13]

Characters: Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and Kang Gyuri (OC) Genre: Angst, Romance Au: Hanahaki!Au  Type: Series  Word count: 4,208

It all began with a cough and then, a subtle sting in her chest. Kang Gyuri cried, knowing that in a matter of months, she would be another figure in the death toll of the most dangerous and cruelest outbreak in human history.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8-1 | Part 8-2 | Part 9 | Part 10-1 | Part 10-2 | Part 11-1 | Part 11-2 | Part 12

Baekhyun had been crying for so long that he felt dry and exhausted. When the doctors came into the room and practically snatched her body out of his arms, he couldn’t do anything else but watch them work on her. He had begged them to do something. He tried to let them know. They had to do something.

Someone pushed him out of the room as people in blue surgical gowns carried Gyuri back to the bed. He couldn’t see much after that. Someone hugged him as he cried, and he held on to those comforting arms until he couldn’t cry anymore. After that, time just flew by as he stayed in the same corner for God knows how long, too tired to move.

Slowly, the blaring machines went silent, and minute after minute, the voices from the doctors also quieted down until the hallway was in a sinking silence that was oddly foreboding. Eventually, they came out of the room, and one of them, the impossibly handsome one, approached the parents.

“She’s alright for now.” The doctor said with a grave look on his face, “We all know that she should’ve died. We have seen it, and you have heard the stories, but despite all that, her heart did not give out, which is something unheard of.”

Baekhyun and Gyuri’s parents perked up at that. They wanted to hold onto the smallest sliver of hope; however, the doctor delivered more bad news than good, making them all slouch back in their places in despair as he explained the assortment of tests they had to run and samples they had to harvest from her already mangled body.

Baekhyun had been silently tearing up in the corner, mewling things over and over in his head. He tried to understand why he screwed everything up. When did he do it? Then he heard a male nurse walk down the hallway, pushing a cart full of medical equipment that almost looked like torture tools. The handsome doctor was following, and they looked at him with curiosity.

“What’s all that for?” Baekhyun asked.

“We’re taking some samples.” The doctor said.

Baekhyun simply stared at them in disbelief, and the way they just kept going as if it were any other day, when he could still listen to her painful screams inside his head.

“You can not do that.” He interjected, “She’s in pain right now.”

The nurse looked over his shoulder at the handsome doctor, and the knowing look in his eyes was more than revealing. As if in a queue, they heard Gyuri complain on the other side of the door, and Baekhyun was on his feet in an instant.

“You won’t run any more tests,” he said, finally making them hesitate.

“She insisted.” The doctor explained.

“Of course she did.” Baekhyun said, rolling his eyes, which made the nurse and the doctor give him a weirded-out look. “She can be very stubborn, you know.”

“I’d say strong-willed,” the doctor added.

The knowing, sad smile on the doctor’s face calmed Baekhyun in a way he couldn’t understand at all. It seemed to him that the man had had his fair share of dealing with his best friend and knew that Gyuri could be a handful if she set her mind to it. He had dealt with it himself for years, and he saw it in the doctor’s face as well.

“Can I come in?” Baekhyun said, letting out a sigh.

As if the doctor were expecting nothing less from him, he agreed and ordered the nurse to give him the instructions to follow during the procedure. Once again, Baekhyun found himself stepping into the room, dressed up in surgical gear from head to toe.

Gyuri was lying on her side with her back to the door, making it the very first thing he saw. The open wound was bleeding with the smallest tremors of her body and with every labored breath that came from her small figure. 

The doctor and the nurse greeted her so loudly and so carefreely that Baekhyun halted for a split second, unsure of what to do. It was the moment they let her know that he was there that Gyuri seemed to come alive. She moved, as if trying to sit in the search for him, making the skin around whatever was growing from her back tear the flesh open more. Instinctively flinching at how painful it looked, he was by her bedside before she could hurt herself more.

“Am I dead?” She asked, smiling softly at him.

“Nope,” Baekhyun replied, exaggerating the sound so his voice wouldn’t break as he gently nudged her back in the bed. "It turns out you’re quite tough.”

Gyuri chuckled, the innocuous movement making her instantly wince in pain, and Baekhyun fussed over her in response. He grabbed her hand and, as softly as he could, brushed his fingers through her hair, wishing he could take her pain away.

“Does it hurt?” Baekhyun asked, still trying to pacify her while mentally face-palming himself with the level of stupidity in his question.

And yet, she nodded as tears streamed down the side of her face, twisted in pain. The little whimper that came out of her broke his heart.

“I’m here now,” Baekhyun said, leaning closer so she could only hear him, “and I won’t leave.”

As if on cue, the doctor announced that they would begin with the procedure, and Baekhyun watched the gigantic needles the nurse prompted to the doctor, and in an urge of panic, he just diverted his attention to her hand and her knuckles covered in scabs.

“You’ll feel pressure on your back and then a crack,” the doctor warned. “I’ll try to be as fast as possible, so hang in there, alright?”

Gyuri nodded, and the crack of bones was immediate. She flinched, squeezing his hand, and Baekhyun found himself flinching just as much. He whispered whatever came to his mind to keep hers out of the procedure when he noticed something he had never seen before. 

"Uhm, doctor?" He said, unsure of how to even explain it, “Something is happening.”

"We're almost done." The doctor replied, his attention entirely focused on her back.

"I bet, but she's crying."

"You're doing great, Gyuri." The doctor assured her, his entire body completely still, "We're about to finish."

"They're white," Baekhyun said, making the doctor and the nurse look at him. "Her tears are white."

It was fast, but he saw the glint of surprise in the doctor’s eyes behind his face shield, but a flash of unweavering determination instantly replaced it. The doctor and the nurse resumed their work, and when they were done with the pipes, as if nothing unexpected had happened, the doctor went around the bed and focused on her face. Without any exchange of words, Baekhyun scrambled up to his feet and stepped aside to give the doctor some room, but Gyuri's fingers were constricted around his hand, not letting him go.

"Don't worry, I'm still here," he whispered, squeezing her fingers back.

Once the nurse labeled all the previous samples, Baekhyun observed the doctor scooping the white tears off her face, flashing a light into her eyes, and asking Gyuri things about the sensation behind her eyeballs as he gently dipped his fingers across her features as if looking for something while the nurse recorded everything with a cellphone.

When they were done, the doctor gave some instructions that only the nurse understood, and he went into full operational mode. He prepared a new bag of fluids and changed it, as well as injecting something else into her IV. Baekhyun watched every movement like a hawk, as if he knew a thing about what was going on.

"I'll give you a nice cocktail of sugary fluids to rehydrate you and painkillers so you can rest for a few hours. What does that sound like?" The nurse said with a tender smile.

His tone was so amicable that Gyuri found it reassuring but too exhausted to reciprocate the tone; she only nodded, closing her eyes and holding Baekhyun’s hand even tighter. However, the peaceful moment was broken in an instant when she hissed. The sound was so foreign for Baekhyun that he just stared at her body, seemingly coming back to life. She cried out, almost sitting up while rubbing a hand over her forearm. Unfazed, the nurse returned to the IV and adjusted the nubs. The quick fix seemed to work because Gyuri calmed down quite instantly, relaxing again on the bed.

"Jongdae," the doctor said with a hard tone no one had heard before. "Be careful. No more mistakes."

The doctor expected an apology, but the nurse didn't even move. He called him once again, his tone harsher, and Baekhyun simply looked to one and the other, not knowing what to expect.

"But it wasn't a mistake." Nurse Jongdae finally mumbled, with a deep frown on his face. "I used the same drip count as usual."

As if knowing the nurse was onto something, the handsome doctor grabbed the chart from the cart and read through it with a frown. Then they started an exchange of questions and answers that neither Gyuri nor Baekhyun understood.

"Are you sure about it?" He asked, his face twisting just like the nurse.

"Positive." The nurse said.

"What's wrong?" Gyuri asked, opening her eyes, and they could see the fright in them.

"We'll have to take another blood sample." The doctor said while still reading the chart.

"She asked what was wrong," Baekhyun said, getting closer without letting her hand go.

"It felt like something burned inside your arm, didn't it?" Nurse Jongdae asked with a light-hearted tone, preparing for the new sample. 

Gyuri nodded, and the nurse gently asked her to let Baekhyun's hand go. Just like he did before, he assured her that he wasn't going anywhere, and finally, she let him go.

"The IV was dropping into your system, but your veins couldn't handle it." The nurse explained as he prepared her arm to take the sample, "It felt like they were about to pop, right?"

"Is that something you can feel?" Baekhyun wondered out loud, scandalized, "Veins can burst open?"

"Vein shrinking isn't in itself bad," the doctor added, observing the nurse fill the tube with her blood. "There are many reasons why it could happen, but never on such short notice. That's why we need the sample to see what is causing it."

Baekhyun had a million questions, but as if that uncertain answer was enough, Gyuri closed her eyes and nodded. Suddenly, she looked way too frail, too pale, and too defeated, and Baekhyun understood, just with a glimpse of her small body sinking into the bed, that she didn't need all the answers or good news about her condition. She let out a soft sigh and let the painkillers take her away for a while. Feeling the back of his eyes burning, Baekhyun swallowed back the powerlessness and went back to his place next to her. He grabbed her hand again, whispered to her to have a good sleep, and stayed there until she drifted away.

It wasn’t that long before Baekhyun couldn’t handle the sound of the beeping machines and the nauseous smell anymore. The shock and adrenaline wore off, and the exhaustion finally started to kick in while his cellphone kept buzzing in his pocket. All of that and the heaviness in his limbs made him want to leave the room, lay down, and sleep for days.

Once he made sure Gyuri was completely under the medication, he stepped out of the room and found the nurse restocking the supply cart by the door. Without asking, the nurse helped him out of the surgical gear, and once free of it, he felt lost and clueless.

“Hey, what’s happening to her?” Baekhyun asked, unable to move. 

“Didn’t Kyungsoo tell you?” The nurse asked instead as he resumed his restocking duties.

The silence that followed was deafening. Baekhyun stayed rooted in his spot, and he wanted to reply, but he was even more lost than before. He didn’t know what was happening other than that Gyuri was dying. When the nurse noticed the lack of response, he dropped what he was doing to consider him, making Baekhyun feel exposed under his scrutiny. 

“I can’t really disclose that type of information.” The nurse said.

However, Baekhyun did not react. He just waited for the guy to give him at least some sort of answer. Realizing the guy wouldn’t drop the subject until he got an explanation, the nurse let out a tired sigh.

“Just wait here.”

The nurse left him without a word, and still kind of dazed by the rapidity of everything, Baekhyun waited in the same spot, afraid of moving, until the doctor, who in his opinion was way too handsome to be a doctor, came out of the office and greeted him with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He led Baekhyun to another tiny room where a bunch of beeping monitors were set up, and it took him a minute to realize that all those monitors were cameras recording Gyuri from every angle and keeping up with her vitals.

“I’m Doctor Kim,” the doctor introduced himself as he moved a couple of chairs for them to sit in, “and I’ll be in charge of taking care of Gyuri.”

Baekhyun bowed his head and looked at the monitors; some showed a fast-sleeping Gyuri, and others focused on the damned thing sticking out of her back.

“This looks like a lab experiment taken out of a sci-fi movie.” Baekhyun pointed it out, but the doctor didn’t seem to get offended.

“She signed up for the research program on the disease.” Dr. Kim said with a serious expression, and Baekhyun lowered his head, feeling his eyes burning.

“And you brought me here to watch her die?” Baekhyun finally snapped, rubbing the tears from his eyes. “Is that it?”

“We brought you here because we believe you might have some answers to her pain.” The doctor said.

“I thought the curse was incurable.” Baekhyun gasped, another tiny speck of hope lighting up in his chest once again.

“It still is,” the doctor said with a sigh as he looked at the monitors, “but her body is reacting to the disease in a way no one has ever seen before.”

“And you need me to know why,” Baekhyun added.

Dr. Kim nodded, expecting to find more resistance from the guy, but there was nothing else to discuss. Baekhyun didn’t need any convincing. He was ready.

“Let’s do it.” He said, feeling braver than he had ever felt in his entire life. “I’m in, or whatever it is for you to take samples of my blood and all that stuff. I want to do it.”

What had happened to Kyungsoo in the last few hours was a complete blur to him. His memories all blended together, from Minseok carrying him to blurry faces coming in and out of his vision. Then alarms were blaring. People argued. His heart was sinking. His world kept falling apart. The walls crashed down on him. Jolting himself awake, Kyungsoo opened his eyes and looked around. He recognized his bearings, as in one of the guest rooms on the second floor of the house. He placed a hand on his chest, making sure there were no roots moving underneath his skin, but nothing felt out of place. His body felt just as heavy, and his heart thumped just as hard, just as steady. Everything was alright.

It wasn’t dark outside anymore. The sky was bright, and sunlight was seeping into the room, welcoming a new day. It was a bright new day, and Kyungsoo wondered if he was dead. His head pounded when he sat up straight, feeling sick to his stomach. The discomfort made him groan, and his throat burned, coarse for some reason.

“Good morning.” A known voice said.

Kyungsoo looked up to find Junmyeon there, reading something from a folder in one hand and holding a cup of coffee in the other. His voice was stern, and putting the folder down on his lap, the doctor rubbed a hand over his eyes and furrowed brows. He looked exhausted.

“What happened?” Kyungsoo asked, clearing his throat.

“You had a good old panic attack.” He said, observing him.

“What?” Kyungsoo couldn’t hide his surprise. “No, I felt it grow, hyung. It was growing again.”

“You’re clean.” Junmyeon said, with a smile, albeit small and disappointed, “Other than the normal traces of chlorophyll in your blood levels like everyone else with the disease has, there are no roots, no dormant anomalous cells, nothing out of the ordinary as far as we can see. I would even dare to say that you’re as healthy as you could possibly be.” 

Kyungsoo felt his body getting instantly lighter and pressed both hands against his chest in disbelief that there was nothing foreign in there. He had spent years in the dark about the curse, fearing it would come back to claim his life when he least expected it, only to discover that he was okay. He was safe. 

Junmyeon wouldn’t lie about something like that. If he said he was cured, he knew he should believe it. But he couldn’t believe it. He rubbed his hands across his chest, expecting to feel the roots slowly spreading beneath his skin like he did years before, but there was nothing. All he felt  was his flesh, sensitive and alive, and his heart was unweavering despite his worst fears and nightmares. His eyes blurred with all the years of unshed tears and contained hopes, and everything finally seemed to burst in a sudden wave of joy. 

A bliss that did not last.

His happiness wouldn't be complete if she wasn’t there. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he relished in the relief she couldn’t get, and as fast as all of his emotions exploded, everything in him sank in worry. If he could beat it, so would she, and he would not be at ease until she was safe as well.

“How’s Gyuri?” He asked, and all of his senses suddenly became clear and sharp.

“Out of danger,” Junmyeon said, his entire posture changing, “for now.”

When Baekhyun accepted to be part of the research on the disease, he never imagined that said involvement meant being in an empty office, signing NDAs, reading contracts, and answering questionnaires. Once done with all the paperwork and rubbing the tiredness off his eyes, he was taken to a room on the second floor where he could clean himself and rest for a moment until the new shift would officially admit him into the program and finally begin with the research.

Struggling to keep his eyes open, Baekhyun noticed the two beds. He halted, observing the perfectly done bed and then the second one, which had clearly been used quite recently. He was too tired to care and dragged his feet to the washroom to take a shower. He hadn’t realized just how exhausted he was until he laid down on the freshly made bed and fell asleep almost immediately. Sometime later, a nurse knocked at his door and guided him back through the main hallway. They were about to reach the small office where he had spent several hours already when the suspicious penguin-faced accountant came out, dressed in a hospital gown and dragging an IV stand along.

“Wow, is he part of the research as well?” Baekhyun asked the nurse.

However, he got no answer as the guy walked past without even giving them a glance, and he was long gone before the nurse could even begin to explain.

“Wait a second, is he sick as well?” Baekhyun whispered loudly, his mind fully working after a good nap. “Was it Gyuri?”

“I can’t disclose that information.” The nurse replied as they reached the door to Gyuri’s room.

Baekhyun would’ve tried to pry the information out of her, most likely using his charms to get any juicy details on his best friend’s new, shady boyfriend, but getting back to the place where she was made him forget about it in a second. Those details lost all their value when the nurse handed him a brand new face mask and opened the door to let him into the room that looked nothing like the place he remembered from hours before.

Gyuri was still under the medication, but the bed and all of her beeping machines were moved further left to make some room for another bed. His bed, and just like hers, there were cameras and machines around it, as if on a grand stage, ready to record every little one of his movements.

Hesitant, Baekhyun went into the room, looking over at Gyuri and her small figure, barely giving any signs of life. He was about to walk over when the nurse pulled a curtain in his way, creating a divide between him and her.

“Let’s get you settled first, and once she's out of it, you’ll have time to talk to her.” The nurse said with forced politeness.

Leading him toward the second bed, Baekhyun followed the instructions, and in no time, he was wearing a hospital gown, laying down on a hospital bed, with an IV on his arm and another half a dozen monitors connected to his body. The smell wasn’t nearly as strong as before, but it was now mixed with what he guessed were cleaning chemicals that made it revolt in a different kind of way.

Suddenly, he wanted to call his parents. He felt the urge to talk to them, to tell them how much he loved them, to say his goodbyes, but then reminded himself that he couldn’t say a word about this. With the nurse gone and left with the only company of the sounding machinery around him, his mind started to reel with theories. Granted, he had never been part of something of the sort, but he knew all the NDAs were not normal. He also knew the shady accountant had something to do with it all, but his train of thought was cut off. The door opened, and then an unusual silence followed, which made Baekhyun close his eyes and pretend to be asleep. There was no need for that, but the soft sound of the footsteps of whoever came into the room made him do it. The nurses he had seen so far were loud and lively, as if their noise could cheer their only patient up to wellness. However, this person was too cautious and too quiet. He wanted to open an eye to see who it was when he heard the sound of the curtain between him and Gyuri being pushed aside. 

There was no greeting and no questions, just a heavy silence that was almost unbearable, and when his patience almost ran out, the curtain fell back in place and the person walked away. Relieved and holding his breath, Baekhyun opened his eyes. He was alone on his sterile side of the room and stayed still, trying his hardest to listen to what was happening on the other side of the curtain, but his curiosity eventually got the best of him. Baekhyun stretched an arm as far as all the wires stuck to his skin allowed him to and gently nudged the curtain aside just enough to peek out.

The accountant was there, propped on Gyuri’s bed, gently brushing her hair out of her face. She didn’t react, of course, but the guy didn’t seem to mind as he held her hand between his with the utmost care before leaning closer to press his forehead against her temple.

“I brought him here for you.” The guy said.

His words were a mere whisper that rang so loudly in the otherwise silent room that Baekhyun was afraid everything could be heard, even his heartbeat. He could even feel it ringing in his ears.

“You can’t leave now.” The accountant continued. “Please.”

Baekhyun saw the guy kiss the side of her head, and in a burst of shyness, he slowly put the curtain back in place, feeling his cheeks burning. As if he had intruded in one of the most intimate moments of the couple, Baekhyun wished he hadn’t seen or heard what happened, but the gentleness in the guy’s actions was quite impossible to forget. 

Finding himself frustrated once again by the penguin-faced accountant, Baekhyun rolled to his side in a huff and pushed every nice thought he had about the guy. Because no matter how nice he could be to Gyuri, he was convinced there was something shady about him. Something so big, even Gyuri tried her best to hide, and Baekhyun had to close his eyes to stop his mind from derailing even further. Because it didn’t matter what great mistery the guy could hide. All that mattered to him was to do his best for Gyuri. And if that meant he had to get along with him, he would.

He would do anything.

For Gyuri, he would.

So... Why do I keep making Baekhyun more and more flawed? Ayyyy....Don't hate him too much please, he doesn't know any better 😅  Anyway, we're in the last stretch of the story. Just a couple of chapters left and this will be over. If you're still here, reading this story and reading through this ending note, please leave a comment with what you think will happen next. I have a few loose ends that I still don't know how to settle so I would like to hear your thoughts on this. So just as I say every time, Thank you!

[goopeculiar]

You Have My World, You're My Small Universe yixing/baekhyun/joonmyun (+ side!pairings), R, 111979 words. Old habits die hard, Yixing supposes. Like being in love with your best friend.

[hydroyaksha]

Soleil’s fic recs

EXO:

Yixing- king! “The Lotus king and his jade” @sweetjekyll

Kyungsoo- hogwarts! “Spellbound” @whimsical-ness

Sehun- X-EXO! “GREED” @/quokkacore

Sehun -(X-EXO) “LIBERALITY” @quokkacore

Baekhyun - idols! “The rumors were true” @eomayas

Kyungsoo - yandere! “I love you, I love you, I love you.” (Made by me!)

STRAYKIDS - [separate link]

Chan/ Felix - polyamory! Hogwarts! “Detention” @dreamescapeswriting

Felix - demon slayer! “If you tell me about myself” @skazoo

Felix - enemies to lovers! “Strawberry kisses” @softsan

Felix - dick joke centered! CEO! “Penis heart” @staysuki

Felix - Agent! Scientist! “A normal Thursday” @abiaswreck

Hyunjin - mafia! “Ice” @healinghyunjin

Hyunjin - mafia! “Not a stranger” @straywrds

OT8 - ABO! “No control” @cherryeol04

Hyunjin - Hanahaki! (With a good ending) “forget me not” @hhjs

Bangchan - Indian performer! Idol! “Butterfly wings” @straykidshoe

Lee know - siren! “Call of the siren” @tasteleeknow

Lee know - hogwarts! “Green flames” @streetlight11

Jeongin - android! “Alive” @rainy-bangbeom

Felix - royalty! Best friends! “Fairy flowers” @hyunsvngs

Felix - bodyguard! “Your bodyguard, Felix” @skzdarlings

Jisung - ghostface! “It’s a scream baby!” @tyunphoria

Felix - dating show! “TOO HOT TO HANDLE” @seospicybin

Felix - prince! “Forgive me for what I haven’t done” @rachalixie

NCT:

OT23 - yandere! Cult! “Connect” @mymoodwriting

WAYV:

OT7 - yandere! “Awaken” @/mymoodwriting

TEN - vampire!Hunter! “Blood wars” @things-we-cant-say

LUCAS - hybrid! “Please don’t bite me” @/quokkacore

NCT127:

NCT127 - yandere! Aliens! “Who is sticker?” @/mymoodwriting

Taeyong/ Yuta - Angels! Devils! Yandere! “Watching over you” @whiteteadreams

Jaehyun - Dog hybrid! “Competitive spirit” @flowerboykun

OT9 - vampires! Witches! “Black magic” @stayarmytinyzenmoa-l

Jaehyun - hogwarts! “Head over brooms” @sehunniepotwrites

NCT DREAM:

Mark - supernatural! “grit your f*ckin’ teeth” @irtza

Haechan - yandere! “Inseparable” @mint-yoongi

Jaemin - athlete! “on the rebound” @lunena

Jaemin - “Crazy in love” @mayaflowerxs

Renjun - classmates! “Blondes are done with fun” @rrxnjun

00’ line + Mark - arcana! “Arcane” @neonacity

Haechan - hockey player! “Ice ice baby” @cozyjae

Haechan - uni! “Learning languages” @tonicandjins

NCT TOKYO:

Sungchan - superhero! “Through the webs” @yutafrita

ENHYPHEN:

ENHYPHEN - scenario! “How they’re protective over you” @foresdxw

NI-KI - scenario! Idols! “Cookies - shattered glass” @ilovehimyourhonor

JAY - bad boy! Good girl! Dancer! “Opposites attract” @dazed-hee

NI-KI spiderman! “Spider-Man loves you” @misoxhappy

TXT:

Beomgyu- hybrid! “Until it hurts a little less” @horanghoe

Beomgyu - fae! “Dasies” @thru-the-grapevine

Soobin - AI! “Artificial love” @bb-eilish

Beomgyu- Spider-Man! “Not your average boyfriend” @slytherinshua

Yeonjun- fox hybrid! “Silly fox baby” @seowhorebin

BTS:

Taehyung - Android! “A human touch” @snackhobi

SHINee:

KEY - A/B/O! “Out of love” @mymoodwriting

THE BOYZ

OT11 - android! “The boyz become human” @tbznewberry

[kingdoms-babygirl]

Lunar’s Eclipse

Welcome to my mind.

I am Lunar! Other wise known as KingdomsBabygirl on AO3. I am 21+ and I write NSFW Fics.

Please excuse me if I come across as rude or if I am ignoring you. Truthfully, I am an internet cryptid and try to stay offline for mental health reasons. I am always happy to interact when I am available though!

I ult TheKingDom and my biases are Louis and Hwon.

I also listen to other groups (Oneus, SKZ, Ateez, The Rose, BTS, aespa, EXO) but I ONLY WRITE for Kingdom and occasionally BTS.

Feel free to send me asks!

I love discussing headcanons, Prompts, AUs etc.

I also take Fic Requests!

Hard Pass: Piss/Scat Kink, Non-Con, Beastiality, Incest, Necrophilia, Underage, x Reader, Blood

Soft Pass: [Depends on circumstances] A/B/O, Hanahaki Disease, Hardcore BDSM,

Favorites: Soulmate AUs, Poly Kingdom, Dom/Sub dynamic, soft sensual scenes, Orgasm denial, Knife Play, Daddy/Hyung Kink, Size kink

This list is subject to change as I remember more and I am subject to reject any requests as I deem necessary.

Access my AO3 Here

That’s all for now! 💛💙

Check this posts tags to navigate my blog.

[jooheonspinky]

EXO Masterlist

Welcome: Thank you for stopping by. 

*all works are complete unless otherwise stated*

Sehun X Gender Neutral Reader

Little too Late: [10.26.2020] {Hanahaki Disease, angst, one shot}: You reconnect with a crush from your youth, stirring up the old feelings again, but he is already in a relationship. Soon you begin to exhibit symptoms of the Hanahaki Disease. Can you get Sehun to reciprocate your feelings before the disease takes over completely?

[haechanhues]

stories that have a constructed beginning, middle and end all in one place. muses are listed in alphabetical order (with the exception of wayv which also falls under 'nct).

main masterlist

ATEEZ

BOYNEXTDOOR

BTS

ENHYPEN

To Say Goodbye (Heeseung) how to say goodbye to a lost love.

If Only (Sunoo) a friendship was built on this relationship and you want it to be worth it.//if this were fiction, he'd have hanahaki.

EXO

NCT 127

Trials and Errors (Mark) in which your romantic movie night with your boyfriend gets interrupted by the cockblock troupe (otherwise known as his friends)

NCT DREAM

Trials and Errors (Mark) in which your romantic movie night with your boyfriend gets interrupted by the cockblock troupe (otherwise known as his friends)

WAYV

SEVENTEEN

STRAY KIDS

THE BOYZ

TREASURE

TXT

Matchstick (Beomgyu) you and beomgyu have a heart to heart.

VICTON

[ateez-ao3feed-new]

One-Shots

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/obqizCR by theshinyreader just a few one shots- enjoy your read! :) Words: 1214, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English Fandoms: SEVENTEEN (Band), ATEEZ (Band), Stray Kids (Band), ASTRO (Band), EXO (Band), NCT (Band), ZEROBASEONE | ZB1 (Korea Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS, P1Harmony (Band), VICTON (Band), K-pop Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M, Multi Relationships: Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi (ATEEZ), Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Kim Seungmin & Seo Changbin, Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Moon Bin, Yoon Sanha/Everyone, ATEEZ Ensemble/Everyone, SEVENTEEN Ensemble/Everyone Additional Tags: More ships to be added, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff, Smut, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Explicit Sexual Content, Hanahaki Disease, Unrequited Love, Idiots in Love, Boys In Love, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/obqizCR

[zoekrystall]

Def apparent this was for spooky month. Minus here and there outliers but was fun primarily listening to the playlist I made for it. Shame it's already november 😔

Top artists

Aurelio Voltaire

Creature Feature

Sarah and the Safe Word

Groundbreaking

Unlike Pluto

Azari

NateWantsToBattle

SharaX

SEGA SOUND TEAM

GlitchxCity

Aviators

Madame Macabre

Bahjat

PEAKS!

Japanese Folk Metal

Set It Off

Trickywi

Jennings Couch

Black Gryph0n

CircusP

Icon For Hire

Panic! At The Disco

Nostraightanswer

EXO

Jhariah

Ado

Tryhardninja

Shayfer James

Neoni

BTS

FAKE TYPE.

Crush 40

The Cog is Dead

Juniper Vale

Santiano

Saint Chaos

I Fight Dragons

Rachel Rose Mitchell

Lindsey Stirling

Ghost and Pals

Hollywood Undead

Kasalla

Tom Cardy

machigerita

Rufus Rex

MegaGoneFree

Simon Curtis

UNSECRET

Top songs

No One Lives Forever — Oingo Boingo

Like a Vampire — Catrien

Villain - Cover — The Cog is Dead

Kiss Me, Kill Me — ari hicks

The Carousel — Best Frenz, Joywave

Fallen Angel feat. Aimee B — Mitsunori Ikeda, Aimee B

Church Outfit — Poppy

dropthebassonthestereo — CG5

headspace (feat. Reckless Jacks) — Jennings Couch, Reckless Jacks

Halloween — Faun

ラグトレイン — 稲葉曇

Whisper Whisper Whisper — Azari

Perish Song - Extended — Trickywi, YZYX

It's Terror Time Again — Sesamoid

Villain (Stella Jang Cover) - English Version — Umbratic Forest

Bottom of a Bender — Sarah and the Safe Word

Cover My traces — Reach

The Skeleton Dance — Aurelio Voltaire

Dead Walk — RedHook

Destiny Bond (Lavender Town Extended) — Trickywi

Roses — Svniivan, New Beat Order, Veronica Bravo, Cour

Same Graves — The Ghost Club

Grim Grinning Ghosts - Electro Swing Mix — Glenn Gatsby, Ashley Slater

Scarlet Vow — Aviators

Black in Every Color — Happy Hour

Pilot — Taichi Mukai

Astral Alley — Alec Holowka

No Honor Amongst Thieves — Aurelio Voltaire

hanahaki syndrome — Shiki Miyoshino

Ya Habibi Janbik — Bahjat

Every Day Is Halloween — Creature Feature

SHINIGAMIBUYOU — KODOKULOVE, ROSU

Friends in the Dark — Aurelio Voltaire

Absinthe — I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

I Am (All of Me) — Idle Music

Fake Parade — Chogakusei

Legendary — MyoMouse

Turquoise — Annelle Staal

Dead Man's Party — Oingo Boingo

Black Fire — MegaGoneFree

CROWNS — Groundbreaking

FIRE OF OUR PAST — Groundbreaking

Killed The Cat — Cjbeards, Trenton

Raging on a Sunday — Bohnes

Eraser — LYELL

Nobody Like U Anime Opening — Thai McGrath, Foxchase

Nightmare — Azari

HOLLOW HUNGER — Ironmouse, shirobeats, ThunderScott

We Are Stars (Featuring Alyssa Reid) — Virginia To Vegas, Alyssa Reid

Long Way Down — Rachel Rose Mitchell

[dibidibidismynameisleeknow]

If You Were Mine

Do Kyungsoo x Reader (afab) (she/her)

A/N: So I wrote a D.O. fic, first time posting on Tumblr because I don't totally hate this story. I apologize for it being so long, I don't know how to use the 'keep reading' option on my phone. Also, all of this is clearly fictional.

Genre: Angst. Hanahaki disease

Warnings: Major character death. Sehun says some bad words. MDNI

“Sure thing, I’ll let her know you called,” Sehun promised, unaware that you had just come through the apartment door. You quietly set up Vivi’s leash so as to not disturb Sehun’s phone call. You had a rough idea what the phone call was about, but you really wanted to sneak past and into your room. 

All you wanted lately was to be alone. You weren't yourself and you knew that, this was something you had to deal with yourself. No meddling roommate and best friend would be able to help.

“Don’t you dare try to run away.” Sehun could be intimidating when the time called for it. As much as you wanted to be alone, you couldn't take Sehun's consistent pestering. 

"I just got off the phone with Kyungsoo, what the hell is going on with you two?" 

There was only so much you were willing to share with Sehun. You and Kyungsoo had recently started growing apart; you weren't seeing each other as much, the phone calls and text messages had started to die down. The intimacy had become next to nothing once you started to get sick. In Sehun's eyes you were pushing Kyungsoo away without a valid reason and he was only trying to help. 

Kyungsoo was amazing; he was extremely intelligent, hard working and hilarious. He was also an amazing cook, and as someone who lacked the basic ability to cook even the simplest dishes, it was something that you looked for in a partner, it was non negotiable. Kyungsoo was your number one fan; he was always there to support your dreams, he was there to pick up the pieces when you failed your law class exam and encouraged you to try again. Kyungsoo felt less like a boyfriend and more like a partner, someone you were meant to conquer life with. You couldn't wait to spend the rest of your life with him. There was no doubt in your mind that Kyungsoo would be an amazing husband and father when the time came….if it came.

Sehun really tried to compose himself, he really cared for you and the friendship you two had together. The friendship he had with Kyungsoo also meant the world to him. 

"Okay, listen. I don't know what's going on with you because you never speak to me anymore. Or even the man you always claim is your soulmate for that matter. But it needs to stop. If you took ten fucking minutes out of your day to even speak to Kyungsoo you would realize he is also sick!" 

"I cant-" "-I can't see him." Your heart began to race, you could feel it pulsate in your chest. Your throat had begun to feel hoarse, there was a lingering taste of copper on your tongue. You were going to be sick and Sehun would be there to witness it.

"You're being extremely selfish and entitled. You can't just push people away."

You took off before Sehun could say anymore. Although there wasn't much more he could say. Deep down you knew he was right, which had only made the pain worse. You claimed to love Kyungsoo, you would swear on your life. Any sane person would fall in love with him in a heartbeat and it made you sick to know that maybe you weren't the one to love him. But you wanted to. You loved him, past, present and future. You would do it a thousand times over.

Jongdae held Kyungsoo as he cried for you and your relationship. Kyungsoo missed you and wanted nothing more than to be with you and hold you. He knew though, he knew when he became sick and his throat would become irritated with the thorns that decorated your birth flower that you weren't his. He wouldn't be able to hold you, kiss you, carry on with the life plans like you two had decided on. You were no longer his to love. It was slowly killing him to know you were in love with someone else. He wanted nothing more than to see you one last time before he couldn't see you any longer. 

"Kyungsoo, I'll take you to her. She might change her mind. Maybe once she sees you in person she'll listen to you-" Jongdae cleared his throat, unsure if he even wanted to finish that sentence. "Before it's too late." 

Kyungsoo didn't want to say goodbye. He didn't feel like he had the strength to carry himself to get to you, to form the words. There was so much he wanted to say to you. There was so much the two of you wanted to do. There wasn't enough time to accomplish those things, there wasn't enough time to say goodbye. 

It felt insignificant but Kyungsoo grabbed some lozenges on the way out. At this point he wasn't sure if it was to ease the pain from the coughing and the scratching from the thorns of the flowers or if it was to ease his throat to be able to form coherent sentences. 

Sehun was ready to admit defeat with you, he couldn't help you if you weren't going to help yourself. He was aware that Jongdae was on his way with Kyungsoo and busied himself with the task of making tea. He knew he had been too hard on you, and a warm cup of tea had always been an offer of peace in your shared apartment. 

The knock on the apartment door seemed to ease Sehun's mind. There was finally someone else to talk some sense into you. Sehun gladly let his two friends into the apartment, there wasn't time to exchange pleasantries, Kyungsoo took off to find you. 

Sehun grabbed Jongdae's arm to hold him from going further. You and Kyungsoo really didn't need someone else getting involved. Whatever was going on you two had to work out amongst yourselves.

"Jongdae, do you have any idea what's going on? I haven't been able to get a proper sentence out of her for days."

"I assume you know about the flower disease?" Sehun nodded in confirmation. The current moment didn't seem like the time to interrupt, but he knew he would have so many questions later. "Well you see, you cough up your soulmate's birth flower. Which is exactly what Kyungsoo has been doing. He has been coughing up her birth flower….but he's not getting better. He's actually getting sicker. More petals, I've seen him cough up whole flowers. He's in so much pain, Sehun. He's coughing up so much blood. I'm scared."

"Do you think?" Sehun couldn't bring himself to finish his sentence. The silence that swept over the two men was plenty of confirmation. 

Kyungsoo was greeted with the sight of you embracing the toilet. You were running hot and the ceramic was helping to cool you down.

"Kyungsoo-" "I'm so sorry." 

Kyungsoo dove to grab you up off the floor. He held you in his arms all the while you sobbed and soaked his chest with tears. Tears that were filled with love, sorrow, heartbreak and gratitude. 

"Kyungsoo, I love you. I swear. I don't know why this is happening." 

"Shhh. Just let me hold you."

Being held in Kyungsoo's arms has always been your favourite place to be. He was warm and comforting. Kyungsoo would gently hum your newest favourite song while you laid on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. Kyungsoo would intertwine your hands as he rubbed your back with his free one while you started to list all the things you loved about him just so you could hear his heart race. 

"I've been coughing up your birth flower. It really hurts."

"I'm so sorry. I should have told you why I was sick. I didn't think you would get sick. I thought I would just handle things by myself and you would stay healthy."

Kyungsoo gently placed his hands on either side of your face. As much as you didn't want this to end you knew you had to say goodbye. The love you and Kyungsoo shared was no more. His lips against yours were the most gentle they had ever been, like one wrong move and it was over. 

"Knowing you're in love with someone else almost hurts more than my throat bleeding or having to actually cough up these flowers. I'm glad you're my soulmate. I don't think I could have loved a better person. I know you love me, but you're no longer in love with me. I wish you told me how you felt." 

The look in Kyungsoo's eyes was enough to make you fall in love with him all over again. He wiped the tears from your eyes like he had a thousand times before with no care of your makeup staining his white sleeve. "Your happiness is more important than a silly shirt. I don't want to see you cry" He had told you the first time. 

"Do Kyungsoo. Thank you for everything. I wish I could have loved you more, I wish I could have loved you longer. I want nothing more than for you to find someone who loves you more than you think is possible. You're the one person that deserves it. I would give you the world if you asked for it. I love you Kyungsoo. I'm sorry I couldn't be that person for you."

Kyungsoo held you close as he felt your body give away. Almost as if your soul physically left your body. He lowered you both to the ground where he noticed the full flowers of Aster littering the bathroom floor.

Jongdae.

"Help!" 

[birdly-vagabond]

Love Hurts

“It’s strange, isn’t it? The way immortality has an effect on things like this, don’t you think? I could. Jump off a building. Shoot myself right now, on this spot but it wouldn’t matter. I’ll just come right back. It’s not like we have a finite amount of resurrections. I’m not scared to die anymore. I’m not scared about taking risks anymore. Immortality will do that do you. Only thing i’m afraid of now is the pain that fronts it. How many times i’m gonna come back just to suffer some more. Love Hurts. Don’t let it break you down this far. Don’t let it suffocate you” 

-Avian-4

((Anyway Hi! I’m back. Despite what’s been said i’ve had NO time for any personal art for the past month or so. But i was finally able to finish this! I’m over everything that’s happened now, but here’s this anyway. It was very cathartic to draw. For the first time in a few years I’m REALLY happy with my art and how this came out!! For the first time in a really long time, i’m proud of something i’ve drawn. Ironic it came out of such a bad place in my life. haha. Like flowers pushing through concrete.)) 

[kpopimagi]

A Flower Under The Rain [Part 1]

Characters: Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and Kang Gyuri (OC) Genre: Angst, Romance Au: Hanahaki!Au  Type: Series  Word count: 5,395

It all began with a cough and then, a subtle sting in her chest. Kang Gyuri cried, knowing that in a matter of months, she would be another figure in the death toll of the most dangerous and cruelest outbreak in human history.

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8-1

People talking, kids crying, people coughing and mothers begging, as distress and hopelessness filled up every heart, and there was nowhere else to go.

She looked around, feeling out of place. Her mother was by her side, stiff as a statue and eyeing everyone around her as if the smallest movement might attract the attention of a dangerous predator. Unknowingly, she caught herself mirroring her mother's actions when a soft vibration startled her. She was soon comforted that it was only her phone buzzing in her pocket and nothing more. Bringing it out, she read the new text, and the usual cheerfulness of her best friend, Baekhyun, welcomed her.

Get completely checked up and punch that nasty cough right in the face!

She didn't have a chance to write a response when another text came in.

Don't you dare stand me up today. We have a lot to catch up!

And I have a surprise for you ;)

That managed to bring a smile out of her because there was no need to catch up as he claimed. As hectic as their normal life was, Baekhyun forced her to meet at least once a week. He would pester her for days if they didn't.

She texted back, assuring him that she would be there as soon as she was done with her appointment. The thought brought her back to the real world, where everyone was patiently, or not so patiently, waiting for their turn to see a doctor.

Making the mistake of looking around the waiting area, the uneasiness took over her again and reminded her of all of the excuses she had to skip a doctor’s appointment. First of all, the unnerving crowd alone was scary enough to stay away from a hospital but this time, as much as she tried, there was no other choice.

The other reason was more complicated and delicate than just being uncomfortable in crowds because going to a hospital meant speaking with strangers and she avoided approaching people she didn’t know. She even struggled to talk to her family doctor that pretty much watched her grow. Maybe he wasn't even the right person to take her case but he knew her and she knew him. If someone knew about her particular discomfort and understood how to handle it, it was him.

However, her fear and condition couldn't outweigh the seriousness of her current state and the main reason why she was in the hospital in the first place. She'd been having an ongoing cough for several months and after using almost every remedy available, her parents finally managed to convince her to get a specialized check-up. The doctor ordered blood samples and a few days later, there she was, seated in the waiting room of the general hospital.

In an ideal scenario, she would’ve been doing this by herself as the responsible and capable adult she was but her anxiousness didn’t allow it. Her mother was there and even if she didn't need to guide their way throughout the sterile and monotone hallways of the hospital for something as simple as a doctor’s appointment, it was incredibly comforting to have her around.

“Kang Gyuri.” A nurse called out loud and her mother stood up like a sprint.

“That’s us.” She mumbled with sudden haste that couldn’t be anything else but desire to leave the place as soon as possible.

Gyuri followed her mother silently and the nurse proceeded to make the general checkup. She didn’t mind that part of the appointment. No speaking was required for that and she followed the nurse’s instructions carefully until she was seated at the doctor’s desk in a heavy silence and with her mother just as silent by her side.

The old man came in not long after and he greeted them with the same familiarity as he always did but Gyuri noticed the hesitation. She caught the few seconds of vacillation and effort it took him to raise his eyes and look at her. Quite discreetly, he managed to avert looking straight into her. 

“So Gyuri, now tell me how have you been feeling since your visit last week?” He asked, grabbing the expensive black and gold stricken pen her parents gave him as a present not that long ago and ready to write down whatever she was about to say. “Did the antibiotics and painkillers work?”

“I don’t know.” 

“How come?”

And that was what she hated the most out of the doctor’s appointment, the explaining. Gyuri found it almost painful to put her discomfort into words, to say them out loud and on top of that, to make absolute sense of the mess within her. She wasn’t even entirely sure if anyone was capable of covering all the complexities of what was happening inside her body. 

She started with the fact that she had been feeling almost the same except for the sharp chest pains weren't as bad as before and noticed as she said that, that Dr. Kim held the pen softly between the fingers of both of his hands and wondered why he wasn't scribbling down. That was odd. That wasn’t part of the process of a medical appointment.

Gyuri continued nonetheless by explaining the difficulty she had to breathe every once in a while and when she mentioned that a new symptom had shown up, it was when she couldn’t ignore the doctor’s expression. He looked conflicted and somehow, distressed.

“What’s the new symptom?” He asked although he looked like he didn’t want to know.

“It feels like my senses are sharper, somehow.” She wondered out loud and not entirely sure if she was making any sense, “now I have a sweet tooth for food.”

With a nod, the doctor finally wrote something down but it was short. For a second, Gyuri thought she saw the word unsuccessful written down in her chart but the doctor brought another sheet out, this one with what she guessed was her blood results.

“I don't know how to say this,” he started, placing the pen reluctantly over his desk as if he was letting go some sort of lifeline. “We found some anomalies in your blood levels, Gyuri.”

“What kind of anomalies?” Her mother asked in a surprisingly steady tone.

“There are traces of chlorophyll in your bloodstream when you shouldn't have any and I'm so sorry to be the one to say this so bluntly...” The old man managed to say before his voice broke, “but you have the Hanahaki disease.”

The small consultation room was suddenly quiet just like everything else inside Gyuri. Her mind was completely blank in a split second when her mother’s seemed to be overrun by a sudden sense of guilt.

“This is my fault.” She said with a shaky voice.

“Don’t say that.” Dr. Kim added.

“This is all my fault.” Her mother said, now sobbing.

“That’s not how it works.” Dr. Kim affirmed and then looked at Gyuri.

“But no petals…” She muttered, her brain trying to come to life and make some sense of what was happening.

“The flower petals are only in the last stages of the disease.” The doctor explained. “You haven't shown any signs that the roots are that deep into your system yet.”

“What are my options?”

“Not many, you know that.” The doctor said with some difficulty, “As a doctor, I’d suggest getting you admitted, run some more tests and make you feel as comfortable as possible whereas as a family friend, I’d say, go home and live to the utmost while you can.”

“How long?” Gyuri asked, knowing she didn’t have to elaborate for the doctor to understand what she meant.

“If nothing abrupt happens, my guess is,” he paused, his brows furrowing, “6 months, at most.”

Gyuri nodded, aware of everything and nothing at the same time. Just as the doctor said, she knew her life was done for and suddenly flooded by a horrible feeling of devastation, the rest of the appointment went by as a blur.

She managed to get herself together when she was walking through the hospital’s parking lot. So far, she was moving by sheer instinct and being her mother’s quiet sobbing by her side, the only thing ringing loudly on her head.

“Mom, I'll be fine,” she said with a firm tone that took her by surprise.

Even though Gyuri didn't quite believe it herself, she had to make her mother stop crying for a moment and get her thoughts in order but her efforts of assurance only made her wail harder.

“Who is he?” She demanded, holding her by the shoulders. “Tell me who it is!”

Suddenly, Gyuri felt her body again. She felt the soft and ever-present buzzing in the center of her chest and the pain of her mother’s fingertips dipping into her flesh in absolute distress to find the truth and a culprit. Seeing her mother that desperate was unnerving.

“Who's the bastard that's breaking your heart!?” Her mother begged.

Gyuri smiled. 

Mother Nature seemed to have some wicked sense of humor. As twisted and creepy as it was to smile at that moment and to her mother’s absolute distress, she shook her up more but Gyuri couldn’t feel anything else but a sudden wave of relief coming over her. It wasn’t hard to conclude who it was. There wasn't anyone else that she could be that attached to to the point of getting heartbroken. She wanted to laugh at the prospect of her being that blind to not see this outcome. 

“Baekhyun, mom,” she said, almost fondly, “Who else but Baekhyun?”

And his name was a trigger. 

Gyuri winced as soon as she said his name and the relief she felt just an instant before was replaced by a sudden pain that coursed through the deepest parts of her system as if the acknowledgment of the genuine cause of her disease could set off something inside her body.

Her mother paled at the confession and Gyuri saw the anger taking over her expression. Now she knew who was responsible and it didn’t matter how many times she claimed in the past that she loved him like a son, from that moment on, Baekhyun was an enemy she needed to get rid of.

“Don't tell him anything about this,” Gyuri added before her mother could fall into hysterics. “It’s not his fault.”

“Not his fault?” Her mother scoffed, “He took advantage of your friendship...”

“And I want to be alone.” Gyuri interrupted, starting to feel lightheaded. “I’ll see you later.”

Her mother protested. Her body battled back as well, but she forced herself to walk to the bus stop, and with every step, Gyuri did her best to remember every breathing and grounding exercise she could. Eventually, she was almost running because if she didn’t leave that hospital as soon as possible, none of the exercises would help and she would end up collapsing right then and there.

As she waited in the line and memories flowed by her mind, Gyuri placed a hand over her chest expecting to feel her rapidly beating heart but now, she was particularly aware of the faint stinging that went from one side of her chest to the other like an anxious caged animal waiting to be released.

Never in her wildest dreams, she’d find herself brave enough to ride public transportation alone and almost a decade later, there she was, ready to take the bus as if it was nothing and it was all thanks to Baekhyun.

"Ay, you’re not a little girl anymore.” He nagged as they waited. “How have you been commuting to school all this time?"

"My parents drive me there.” She replied softly, looking around suddenly intimidated by what they were about to do.

"What about the dates?” He turned to her, looking genuinely concerned. “Your parents dropping you off makes it a child’s play date..."

“I don’t have them,” Gyuri mumbled back, annoyed at the unnecessary roast, “you know that.”

“You don’t have them because you don’t want to,” Baekhyun said as he pulled his wallet out, “You’re quite pretty.”

Gyuri found herself smiling as she remembered that day. She felt her heart fluttering all over again at the memory of how flustered she was when he said that and while she was getting on the bus, she felt the ghost of his steady hand holding hers as reassurance.

That simple memory was only the first of the many moments she treasured about her friendship with Baekhyun. Gyuri scurried her way into the back of the bus, finding a spot standing near the door. After a while, the bus came to an abrupt halt, making all the standing passengers stumble; one of them, a guy her age, dramatically fell into a girl on the nearest seat. The guy stood up as fast as he could, apologized to the girl, and nothing much happened after that, but her mind brought up a moment from way back then. 

Gyuri had been the girl in the seat many times before. Many times shoved and pushed around and was unable to speak up when she was uncomfortable. She recalled one particular day when the bus was full and getting jostle was unavoidable, even if she was on her seat. Whenever it happened, she would simply focus on the city passing by through the window and ignore the rest of the world around her. That day, however, a familiar voice broke her out of the stupor.

“Yah! You’re hitting her in the face with your backpack!” Baekhyun said out loud, shoving a guy away and taking his place right next to her seat, somehow guarding her.

Gyuri chuckled at the memory. She must have looked like an idiot, looking up at him from her seat, probably admiring him as if he was a knight in shining armor.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Baekhyun mumbled under his breath without even looking at her, clearly upset. 

It was easy for him to say that but she was already riding the bus, confined in a small place with dozens of unknown people and fighting the urge to get out of there at the earliest opportunity. Raising her voice wasn’t necessary when she was already doing something miles away from her comfort zone. She was doing enough.

“People will stop pushing you around the moment you speak up, Gyuri,” Her friend added.

However, Kang Gyuri didn’t fall for his nagging and not even his outgoing and sometimes annoying personality. She fell for his comfort; for the little gestures, the softness in his voice whenever he addressed her, and the tenderness in which he touched her.

“I’m sorry.” He said, softly dropping an arm around her shoulders as they walked through the university entrance. “I said that harshly for no reason.”

Gyuri recalled what those words made her feel. She remembered how thrilling it was to feel his soft squeeze on her shoulder or the bright smile he gave her before dashing away to his friends. She finally acknowledged the unquestionable pang of sadness that was about to burst and barely paying any attention to her surroundings, Gyuri was surprised by her hastiness and found herself getting off the bus, gasping for fresh air. 

As she tried to walk away from the memories, her hand trembled as it went around the rim of her watch, making it difficult for her to follow the pace and control her breathing. She was fully aware that she had to stop walking for the exercise to be effective, but she needed to run away. She couldn’t even keep track of how many times her finger went around the clock and was on the brink of losing it for good that she forced herself to stop to focus all of her attention on her wristwatch. 

It hurt her chest to place her finger on the 12 and slowly go around the rest of the numbers. She was finding it too hard to settle her heavy breathing but the moment Gyuri noticed the familiar building of her favorite bookshop across the street, it was only then that she finally could grasp her bearings and hold her ground against the panic. 

With her eyes glued to the building, she managed to properly finish the first circle of digits after god knows how long and then the second and the third and so on until she calmed down.

She looked around, surprised that she was conveniently just a few blocks away from her meeting point with Baekhyun, and prompted with an impulse she didn't know where it was coming from, Gyuri walked to the bookshop. 

The three-floored bookshop was one of the only public places she visited frequently, and that never failed to make her feel like one with society. She was another common and ordinary person whenever she was in there, but for the first time, not that day and probably, not ever again. 

The moment Gyuri crossed the entrance door and stepped into the maze of bookshelves, she felt lonelier and more alienated than ever before. Suddenly, that place not only brought a wave of countless memories she shared with Baekhyun. It also shoved into her face, like a sarcastic joke, the crude reality of her fate.

It had been over eight years since the breakout. Eight years since the first person dropped dead in a pile of flower petals in the middle of the street, somewhere in Europe, and the first victim biography was still a bestseller. Eight years into it, and the sickness was still somehow a trending topic.

The news about the strange and tragic event spread out like fire around the globe, plaguing every television and every social media feed, and just a couple of days later, similar cases happened in other parts of the world. A couple of months and thousands of deaths later, it was discovered that a disease was the cause of all those casualties. 

A morbid fascination about it reached its peak when unreciprocated love was the only source of infection. If hundreds of thousands died of heartbreak, thousands more did out of the burden of being the cause; and in a matter of weeks, the suicide rates spiked, and soon after, the entire world fell into subdued chaos.

When most people were still debating if it was right to label the phenomenon that affected the entire world as an actual disease, the Japanese, who had the highest death toll, were the first ones that dared the rest of the world to address the problem head-on and gave it a name. That was how the Hanahaki disease was what everyone everywhere in the world ever talked about, and apparently, it had been like that for almost a decade.

Gyuri let out a resigned sigh as she walked away from the Hanahaki section, trying to find some comfort among the pages of a normal book but to no avail, she always found herself back to that section. Her mind reeled with all the information she had been fed up with the disease for years. She didn’t need to read more about it. She had lost count of the pile of books she read and the essays she wrote about it during her student years, and yet, the most haunting fun fact about the subject was that once diagnosed with Hanahaki, you were as good as dead.

The curse was essentially a death sentence, and it was scary to realize that all she could think of, no matter how hard she tried, was that after eight years since the outbreak, it was a disease without a cure, and so far, no one had ever survived. 

Except, for that one American woman. Gyuri grabbed her biography and wondered, just like the rest of the world, how in the world she survived. It was still a mystery, and as some claimed it was all a scam, some others believed she was some sort of prophet. As divided as the public opinion was about her, it gained her fame beyond any measure. The woman that somehow found a way to fight back the disease and win the battle against the impeccable flowers, became a celebrity overnight. Ironically, she was murdered in her penthouse a couple of years later because of a nasty affair.

Maybe that woman's life wasn't the best example of success, let alone the source of hope she needed, so Gyuri placed the book back in its place and found herself lost and clueless. For the first time in her life, she had no idea of what she wanted to read. Overwhelmed by the countless titles, a part of her wanted to buy them all so she could find an answer to her suffering. She sought for a small glint of hope that she might have the guts to fight the disease back, but the longer she kept on looking at the shelves of hundreds of books, all with the promises to save her life, the more miserable she felt.

There was one book, though. A book that didn’t mock her. A title that, for some reason, reflected quite perfectly what was going on inside her. As if pulled by an invisible string, Gyuri reached for the book.

“The Loneliest Flower.”

Just as in that known case, there were also urban legends of survivors but none as popular as the rumors about D.O. Even the gender was a mystery to the world, but the most common belief was that the writer was a male and his novel became a worldwide success in a matter of days. Gyuri remembered reading his book in class, and for some weird reason, she always felt a weird predilection over it. Decided and somehow defeated, she braced the book close to her chest and walked to the checkout.

Opening the door of that place was always a dreadful task. Most of the time, Baekhyun was by her side, and the first one to go in but some days, she had to do it herself. Gyuri breathed in, braced herself, and nudged the door open. Suddenly, as soon as she stepped into Baekhyun’s favorite restaurant, every scary thought seemed abruptly amplified by the thousands.

The sounds of countless chirping voices, loud waves of laughter, clattering cutlery, the smell of meats grilling, and fresh loaves of bread coming out of the ovens blasted against her senses and, invaded every single one of her thoughts.    

Gyuri hated the place. 

Baekhyun was always looking for new and trendy places to eat around the city, and while Gyuri found that particular restaurant too crowded for her liking, it turned out to be his favorite. The only reason she kept going there was their -four dishes and three beverages- long menu. The employees were also kind enough to respect her shyness. They even took the trouble to memorize her order and were always willing to help her speak the least possible.

She couldn't understand why Baekhyun liked it so much. The long shared tables were one of the details she hated more than anything. The layout forced her to ask if any empty chair was taken or sit shoulder to shoulder with a total stranger. Baekhyun seemed to be delighted by the prospect of being surrounded by people and quoting him, getting the chance to meet cute girls.

Checking her watch, Gyuri realized she was late just by a couple of minutes. When she looked around, Baekhyun was nowhere to be found. He was late as well, which only made the place buzz louder with voices and people moving. He not only was the cause of the ever aching scorch deep inside her chest but also left her all by herself in a place full of people.

She couldn't do stuff like that normally. People scared her. People were weird and loud, and she always struggled to cope well with socializing. That was why he was her friend; Baekhyun was her voice. He did all the talking. Not her. Never her; especially in places as busy as this, never her.

Gyuri bobbed her head to the beautiful girl with blonde bangs that always greeted her with a friendly smile and instantly headed towards the back of the place. The tables there were secluded and empty most of the time, and that day was no exception. Except for one guy and a bunch of college guys, giggling at the screen of one of their cellphones; there were enough spaces available for her and Baekhyun to eat comfortably. 

Ignoring the annoying and noisy group, she observed the lonely guy. He was focused on the food on his plate, not paying attention to the fuss on the other side of the table. His fingers gripped tightly at the ciabatta sandwich in his hands as his jaw moved rhythmically in every bite. The chairs around him were empty, and as absorbed as he seemed to be with his sandwich, she wasn't going to sit in front of him under any circumstances. That could only incite him to start a small talk she wasn’t willing to follow.

Not giving too much further thought to him, she made a beeline to the chosen empty chair but halted when the guy looked up and his eyes, his big brown eyes, found hers. Seemingly uninterested, he went back to his sandwich, and Gyuri approached the table only to find the guy, looking at her again; this time, he seemed to be observing her just as thoroughly. 

He bobbed his head at her, followed by a tiny twitch of his lips that Gyuri took as a weak attempt of a smile. He went back to his food without paying more attention to her, which was more than alright with her.

Silently, she sat down and waited for Baekhyun like she had been doing for years now. However, something was different. Now that she knew what that ache was, she could feel it everywhere. It was creeping swiftly in the most hidden parts of her body, taking over everything she was and painfully suffocating her ever so slowly.

She didn't want to believe that Baekhyun could be the cause of her pain. If anything, he would do anything to assure her safety. It had always been like that since they met on their first day in high school. Her heart fluttered, remembering every time he smiled at her, whenever he held her hand steadily and protected her from anything that scared her. 

Without any control, she found herself smiling at the memory of the many songs he sang to her just because he loved to sing. It was precisely the sound of his voice that moved the ground beneath her. His voice was so smooth and sweet that she could almost taste it in the back of her throat. Baekhyun's voice had such a strong timbre, and yet, it was so mellow and sweet; that it shifted her surroundings, distorted every sound, and made her insides churn and twist.

“Eat this.”

Gyuri snapped her eyes open. Taken aback to find herself breathing hard, she realized she was almost wheezing and leaning over the table as she gripped the edges so hard her hands hurt. The noisy group of guys next to her was silent, stealing nervous and pitiful glances at her. She sat up straight, beyond mortified, but the tenderness of the voice that spoke to her first attracted her attention once more.

“Here.” Gyuri heard that voice and looked up to a hand that pushed an opened small tin can closer to her.

The can was filled with squared and colorful candies. Confused, Gyuri looked at the owner of that hand, and she stared back dumbfounded. The man that not long ago was eating a ciabatta sandwich, was now looking at her with his big and dark eyes. At first, his stare seemed to be harsh, but the longer she kept on holding his gaze, the softer and understanding his expression turned, until the back of her eyes stung.

“It’s overwhelmingly sweet, right?” He whispered, and the way his heart-shaped and plump lips moved was pleasant to the eyes. “Right on the back of your tongue that you can actually taste it.”

Gyuri gulped instinctively, and just as he described it, a thick layer of something sweet coated the back of her throat. Unable to hide her shock at his guess, she found herself nodding and blinking rapidly to hold her tears back. It was comforting that the stranger did not seem to care about her falling into hysterics. He calmly nudged the can closer.

“You need sugar.” He added just as softly, “Eat them, and you will feel better.”

Gyuri moved as quickly as possible and took one candy straight into her mouth. She had never liked licorice candies before but now, as she closed her eyes and focused herself on controlling her breathing, she found the taste agreeable, almost soothing even. She could sense his attention on her, and when she dared to look at him, his thick brows were slowly easing up as she calmed down. 

“Better now?”

She nodded. With that, the man gave her a small smile and turned his attention back to his sandwich. She kept staring at him, quizzical and wondering how he knew exactly what she needed. 

“I know the feeling.” He said under his breath but without taking his eyes off the sandwich. “Something is growing inside you, eating you up, and drying every drop of life out of you and infesting everything in its curse.”

The burn behind her eyes intensified, getting almost unbearable when she realized how truly lonely she was. The certainty in his voice and the understanding in his every word made her see it more clearly. No one near her, not her parents or even the doctor, could ever fathom the feeling as he just did. They would never have a clue of how it felt like; yet, a lone stranger described the sensation with a few words.

But it wasn’t just his words that resonated within her. It was something in his voice; something that was just as soothing as the candies she kept rolling around her mouth. This stranger's voice had something different from all the voices around her.

Her parents were her parents; their voices made her feel at home. Their voices meant safety and comfort. Baekhyun’s voice was a whole different thing by itself. His voice was like thunder that resounded over everything disturbing and scary around her but this man's voice was special, and it was weirdly reassuring that she could find it so instantly necessary and precious even if she couldn't tell why.

The man stood up, and Gyuri closed the tin can, pushing it back towards him, grateful for the little piece of lifesaving help. He waved a hand with a timid smile that lighted up his face in a pleasant way, and she wondered just how much more handsome that stranger would look like fully smiling.

“Keep the candies.” He said, “you will need them.”

Gyuri tried to smile, touched by his generosity, and he stared at her longer than necessary before giving her another smile that didn't reach his eyes, and he was gone after that.

Slightly dazed and dumbfounded, Gyuri stayed in her seat, playing with the tin can in her hands, but there were no signs of Baekhyun. Not a single text and not even a call, and the uneasiness started to kick off again as she looked around the restaurant. She was alone in a noisy place, alone with her thoughts. She found herself alone with the ache and the longing, the confusion, fear, and the hopelessness. It almost felt like he purposely left her there to suffer. 

After what felt like an eternity later, and as if her entire body knew of his proximity, she looked at the restaurant's door. At that exact moment, she saw the man that stole her heart coming in, and she wasn't aware until then just how much relief his presence could bring. The sight alone of his beautiful face, of his white smile and sparkling eyes, should have been enough to ease the pain momentarily, but it didn’t. At least not entirely.

Baekhyun was there, but he wasn't alone.

[universitykpop]

Blooming Days; part 1

Genre: Angst, Hanahaki Disease!au

Member: Xiumin (featuring Baekhyun and Chen)

Words: 765

There are no words to describe the strange pain digging through your chest. With each passing day, a different area hurts. Just when it subsides, you begin a coughing fit. Scouring the internet doesn’t give much of an explanation. Your symptoms could be from anything.

As you stand hunkered over a sink in the bathroom at a little cafe, you feel another round of coughs coming. Your phone is buzzing on the counter with a text from Baekhyun asking if you’re okay.

The blood you find in the basin when you open your eyes scares you, but the single yellow flower petal absolutely confuses you. You know for a fact the sink was empty before you started coughing again; you’ve been staring into it for a solid minute hoping the pain in your chest would quickly disappear. You reach for the petal and examine it closely. It’s a weird shape, but you’ve seen it somewhere before.

A knock on the door startles you, and you slip the petal into your purse quickly. Outside the restroom is Baekhyun with a worried look.

“Holy shit… Are you okay?” His panicked eyes scan your face.

“I’m fine.” You answer, angling your face away from him, and try to pass him.

“You look really pale. Are you sure you’re okay?” He blocks you from leaving.

“Yes, I just want my coffee.” You sound impatient, and he finally steps aside.

Minseok and Jongdae are in the middle of a conversation when you arrive back at the table.

“Everything come out okay?” Jongdae asks with a grin.

“Shut up.” You roll your eyes before taking a large gulp of your drink. The strong taste floods out the irony aftermath of your coughing fit.

-

The knock on the hospital room door makes you want to turn your head, but you can’t. There’s a neck brace around you to keep your movements minimal. You watch your friend Baekhyun’s face light up, and you know who stepped inside.

“Minseok, about time you showed up.” Your hoarse voice makes him laugh.

There’s some shuffling next to your bed.

“I had to stop and get something for you.” He says, holding a bouquet of flowers in your line of sight.

“What are those?” You ask as you take them into your hands.

“Snapdragons. I got you one of each available color.” He answers nonchalantly, pulling another extra chair next to the bed.

“They’re so beautiful… The yellow one is my favorite. Thank you.” You smile and hand them back to him to lay on your bedside table.

“How are you feeling?” Minseok leans his elbows on his knees with his focus solely on you.

“I’m okay; just in a bit of pain. This is why I wish you would stop speeding. You could do this,” You wiggle your body slightly and wince, “to someone.”

“Didn’t you say the person kept driving? How do you know it wasn’t me?”

“Minseok!” You groan, wishing you could smack his arm.

-

“You know, movie night isn’t fun when it’s paused and someone is waiting for the other person,” Baekhyun speaks through your bathroom door.

“I’ll be right out.” You manage to call back.

The door cracks, and he pokes his head in. “Are you okay?” His eyes widen when he sees you hunched over the toilet, and he hurries inside. “Let me help you. I’ll hold your hair-”

“Get out!” You yell, blood dripping down your chin.

His frantic eyes catch a glimpse of the yellow petals floating in the toilet.

“Y/N, what the fuck?”

“Please just go,” Your lower lip trembles while you speak. Tears blur your vision as his figure crouches next to you.

“Is it because of me?”

“Not everything is about you, you asshole!” You cough out, more petals making their way up.

Baekhyun sits in silence as he holds your hair back. A gentle hand rubs circles on your back while your body rids the foreign items from your lungs. Once the fit passes, you lean back against the bathtub, spent. Baekhyun uses tissues to wipe off the blood and spit running down your face.

“Thank you.” Your voice is hoarse.

“It’s really not a problem… Um, since it’s not me, do you mind me asking who it is?” He asks cautiously.

“If I tell you, you can’t tell anyone.” You hold out your pinky.

“What are we? Five?” He whines, but you hold your ground. With a groan, he locks pinkies with you.

“That also means you can’t tell anyone about this.” You gesture from your mouth to the toilet.

“I promise.”

[l0lbit3z]

Goretober 08: hanahaki disease 

Characters-Warai, Exo, Linh

[bobateaenthusisast]

HANAHAKI 🌸

(Blood warning!)

[jooheonspinky]

Little too Late

Characters: Sehun x Gender Neutral Reader Genre: Hanahaki Disease, angst Word Count: 3K Warnings: Mentions of blood ────── 〔✿〕──────

You plop into a bench at your favorite café, exhausted from your days’ work. You loved coming here. The atmosphere was always quiet and peaceful; the only sound the clinking of metal spoons against ceramic cups and the hushed murmurings of the patrons as they placed their orders. The background noise and your favorite latte was what helped you unwind after a long day.

Most people would say a cup of coffee at this time of the night would only assist in keeping them awake, but for you it was different. The warmth and flavors only soothed your soul, making you forget the stresses you’d endured that day. It settled your mind, which helped you sleep better.

“Good evening,” you hear a soft voice you don’t recognize interrupt your thoughts.

Glancing up sharply, you have to remind yourself to respond as the handsomeness of the young man standing at your table momentarily renders you speechless.

“Oh, uhm…Hello,” you finally stammer out.

His gaze was so intense. The dark irises, the color akin to espresso, bore into yours through the fringe of his off center parted bangs. The tiniest of smiles quirked one side of his perfectly shaped lips. Even as you lost yourself in the warmth of his eyes, you felt a vague nudge at the back of your mind signally to you that you had seen them before, once upon a time.

“Misty told me you were a regular and you get special treatment,” he winks at you and you swear you feel your heart stop in your chest.

Blushing, you laugh, waving off his comment, “Oh, no no. She just likes to spoil me because we went to school together.”

“You went to school with Misty?” he asks a bit surprised. “I did, too, but a long time ago.”

This time you look over him, but not with the eyes of someone who was admiring his chiseled beauty. Now you take time to picture him much younger, your brows furrowing as you concentrate.

“What’s your name?” you ask as you tilt your head slightly.

“Oh Sehun,” he replies with a smile. “Yours?”

Even as you reply with your name, your brain unlocks the image of the young boy you’d adored as a preteen. He’d only been two years older than you, but to your twelve year old self he seemed ages older and so cool. You’d lived on the same street and had walked to school together. He was popular and always surrounded by both girls and boys. Even still, he had a gentle and kind heart, making sure to say hi to you, trying to always include you whenever you were around. He treated you like a sibling, though, nothing more than friendship ever having bloomed between you two.

Your heart was broken when he moved almost three years later. His father had accepted a job in his native country of South Korea and just like that he was out of your life. Of course, time has a tendency of dampening the sadness and ache in ones heart until it is not but a distant memory. A mere school crush is how you’d classified it when you would randomly remember that time.

You’re brought forth from your thoughts as he murmurs your name a few times until a spark of recognition alights in his eyes.

“Ah, yes!” his smile brightens as he snaps his fingers. “I remember you, Smidge,” he chuckles merrily.

“Huh?” you stare up at him perplexed.

“Smidge. Remember? I used to call you that because you were so small.”

“Oh, that’s right,” you mumble feeling your cheeks flush a rosy hue as you recall his pet name for you. 

This brought on another chuckle from Sehun.

“My shift is over in a few minutes, do you mind if I sit with you and catch up?” he asks, his eyes filled with the hopes that you’d say yes.

“Sure, why not,” you shrug as casually as you can.

“Great, so you’re usual right?” he quips.

“Right.”

“Ok, I’ll be back in a bit.”

You give him a nod and watch him walk back behind the counter. He catches you studying him as he makes your coffee, pausing to smile widely and wiggle his fingers at you. The tint on your cheeks brightens as you awkwardly smile back and then force your gaze towards the window next to you instead.

Wah, you would never have thought seeing him again would stir up those childhood feelings you thought you had long ago forgotten. But as you stare out at the crescent moon smiling down at you from the velvety black sky, you can’t deny the rapid thrum of your heart beating giddily in your chest.

  ────── 〔✿〕──────

From that night forward, Sehun joins you every Tuesday and Thursday after his shift. And while in the past you had so looked forward to your nightly visits to the café for the peace it left you in, now you had an extra reason to get excited about going. You dressed nicer and made sure not a hair was out of place on those days. All the while lying to yourself that it was not all to impress him.

You both chatted quietly over your coffees for about an hour on those nights before you would say your farewells and head to your own homes. You quickly learned his personality hadn’t changed much. He was still sweet, considerate and gentle. When you spoke, his eyes didn’t leave your face, making sure you knew he was listening to every word you said. His laugh brought on tingles in your belly, his smile made your heart swell and you wished nothing would ever cause him to lose that gorgeous smile.

It’s not until a month passes… maybe just a little over a month, that Sehun slips into the bench across from you, that sparkling smile slipping into an expression you hadn’t seen on him before. The change in his demeanor is so foreign to you that it takes you a few moments to decipher it.

Sliding your hand across the table you wrap your fingers around his, looking into his eyes with concern as you ask, “What’s the matter, Sehun?”

He looks down at your joined hands, sighing despondently as he gives your hand an appreciative squeeze.

“It’s Destiny,” he says softly, sadness lacing his words.

Your heart stutters, fluttering roughly in your chest.

“What’s destiny?” you ask, concentrating on keeping the tremor from your voice.

Releasing your hand, he encircles his mug as if trying to draw strength from it. You straighten, taking a sip of your own coffee as you wait for his response.

“Not what…who,” he clears his throat, now leaning back in the bench. Flicking his gaze up to yours, he adds. “Destiny is my girlfriend.”

You instantaneously feel your heart lurch, your blood running cold at his response. A tickle in your lungs startles you, causing you to let out a few coughs. Your eyes water as you suck in a shaky breath.

“Ow!” you groan your face scrunching in pain.

“Jesus,” Sehun stands coming over to your side to pat your back. “Are you ok?”

Shoulders hunched, you hope he can’t see your fisted hand rubbing circles over your chest as you try and soothe whatever that had been.

“Yeah, yeah,” you manage with a grimace. “I think the coffee just went down the wrong pipe.”

He had a girlfriend? What was he doing chatting it up with you until ten? God, how did you always end up in situations like this? Were you truly that bad at reading people? You had felt so comfortable in your talks with Sehun and he had appeared interested… But maybe he was just being him. Always wanting people to feel welcome and at ease around him. Ugh! How could you have been so foolish? He really did only see you as a friend now just like he had all those years ago.

“You sure you’re ok?” he asks again as he brushes the hair out of your eyes and pats your wet cheeks with a napkin.

Taking the napkin from him none too nicely, you brush him off, “Yes. Yes. I’m fine.” He hesitates as he stares at you pensively, but then he finally accepts your words. Wanting his focus to shift from you, you say, “I’m sorry. You were saying?”

You try to bring the conversation back to what you had been talking about, but the coughing just won’t subside.

“I’m so sorry, Sehun,” you finally say between fits of coughing. “I’m gonna go.”

You swiftly stand, gathering the few items you had.

“Wait, are you sure you’re ok?”

He follows you as you head towards the exit with brows furrowed, but you don’t reply as you dash out into the buzz of the night. Not looking back, you hop into your car, speeding off as you continue to attempt to catch your breath. Once at home, you rush to your bathroom, your cheeks flushed as you glance in the mirror. 

Splashing water on your face, you try to sooth the heat in hopes it would calm the coughing, but another fit ensues. Your eyes widen as tiny red and pink spots speckle across the white porcelain of the sink. You cough again and it’s as if whatever had been caught in your throat is dislodged. You spit into your hand and feel fear grip your body.

A bloodied torn blue petal lies in the center of your palm.

“No!” you whisper roughly.

It couldn’t be! You take a few deep breaths and force yourself to relax as you focus on the fact that you finally feel relief, the tightness in your chest gone. Even the tickle in your throat is no longer there. You throw the petal away and wash your hands, rinse your mouth and clean the sink.

All the while your heart still races, terrified of what this all means. You are quick to shower and slip into bed, hoping the next day will reveal that what you believed this to be was not actually it.

────── 〔✿〕──────

Despite knowing Sehun had a girlfriend, you found yourself returning to the cafe. It was painful sitting across from him knowing there would never be anything more between you, but not seeing him or hearing his voice seemed to hurt even more. So you still showed up twice a week as usual and he still sat with you after his shift. 

At first he filled you in on the fact that things were getting a bit rocky with his girlfriend. But then he stopped bringing it up and you assumed they had worked things out. After all, he had said he’d had no intentions of leaving her. 

And so the coughing persisted, the petals still coming up. You did your best to hide any evidence from him, but he only grew more and more concerned.

“It’s just a cold,” you would try and reassure him, but you could see the doubt in his eyes.

He finally convinced you to get checked out.

You sit in the chilly room of the doctor’s office. He had not liked the sounds in your lungs and had sent you to have X-rays done in the building next door. Now you waited for the images to be sent over and for him to give you the prognosis.

You look up as the door opens and see the doctor step in. He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Instantly, your palms begin to sweat.

“Well,” he says on an exhale as he sits on his stool and rolls over to you.  From the examination table you look down at him nervously. “I’ve taken a look at your images and, it’s as I thought. You have the Hanahaki Disease. Do you know what that is?”

You glance away, sadness squeezes at your heart. The now familiar tickle in your esophagus threatening to bring on a coughing fit. You clear your throat as you return your gaze to the doctor.

“Yes,” you whisper tightly.

“Then you know your options,” he straightens in his chair. “Find a way for your love to return your feelings or I can perform a procedure to remove the roots. But,” he shakes his head forlornly. “You will never have the capacity to feel romantic love again.”

What kind of options were these? you think desperately to yourself. If there was any chance that he could love you back, you did not want to take that choice away from yourself.

“I don’t want to have the surgery,” you tell him firmly. 

He rolls over to the counter and scribbles onto a paper. Tearing it off he stands and hands it to you.

“Take this if you need help sleeping. The other will help mildly with the coughing during the day.”

I nod, accepting the paper.

“Thank you.”

“If you change your mind…”

“I won’t,” you give him a tight-lipped smile.

“Very well. Have a good day.”

────── 〔✿〕──────

As time passes, it only gets worse. Sometimes you retch up full blooms of blue anemone, the flowers beauty tainted with saliva and blood. The feeling of suffocating was the worst. There were so many times you wanted to give in and have the surgery, but knowing you could never love again frightened you more than anything. You told Sehun that you had been right. It was just a cold. You did not dare to tell him the truth for fear of losing his friendship. 

Glancing into your mirror you see how much weight you’ve lost. Your eyes are sunken into your face, dark circles making them look even deeper and lost. Your cheeks are hollow, your hair thinning. 

With glistening tears you apply makeup, bringing your face back to life. Sehun had invited you to have a picnic at the park. He said he had a surprise and you were excited. Perhaps he had finally decided to leave Destiny. Just maybe he had fallen in love with you instead.

You quickly dressed, then reached the park before him. There you laid out a blanket beneath the shade of a large tree. Opening the picnic basket, you begin to lay out some of the snacks when you happen to glance up and catch sight of Sehun. 

You smile, but he hasn’t seen you yet. In a pair of dark blue jeans and a butter yellow t-shirt his skin seems to glow and your heart swells in your chest at how handsome he looks out of his barista uniform. 

But then your eyes fall on the person beside him. You watch as he puts his arm across her shoulders and she puts one of her own across his lower back, hand resting on his hip. The sunlight glints off of an object on her finger and you know.

Instantly you know that his ‘surprise’ was that they had worked things out and he had proposed. They were engaged. Any chance you may have had...was lost forever.

You begin to cough, the sound harsh. A searing pain in your chest becomes unbearable and you look down to see something poking at your shirt. Through watery eyes you pull the collar of your shirt away from you and peer down. Eyes wide with terror, you see a stem growing out of the middle of your chest, a trickle of blood sliding down your skin.

Seeing him with her must have exacerbated the disease. Before you can grab your phone to call for help more stems break through your chest. You are screaming in agony, the sounds muted by the blooms forcing themselves up from your throat.

Writhing in pain, you fall back onto the blanket. Never had you ever felt anything as excruciating as what was happening to you now. Through the haze of pain you feel someone rush down beside you.

“Oh my God!”

It was Sehun. You turn tear filled eyes towards him and offer a crooked pain filled smile. He looks horrified and you wish you could reach out and smooth away the worried creases on his brow. His hands hover over you most likely unsure if he should touch you or not. Finally, he grasps the hand closest to him, his other hand brushing back your hair from your forehead.

The pain that wracks your body doesn’t seem so bad when he holds your hand so tenderly like that. You try to speak, but only gurgling sounds come forth.

“Call 911!” Sehun shouts to the woman. Within moments you can hear her responding to the operator and you tune her out, trying to focus on Sehun’s lips as he speaks to you. “What is happening to you?”

You are unable to answer as you begin to cough forcefully, sputtering as you try to catch your breath. 

“An ambulance is on the way,” the woman comes to stand next to Sehun. 

You both turn to look up at her. Her eyes are wide as she fixates on you, a hand coming up to cover her mouth. 

“Thank you,” he tells her, before returning his attention to you. 

“Please hang on. Stay with me,” he pleads. Some of the pressure alleviates and you inhale deeply. “God, this is not how I imagined this day to go.”

“I’m...sorry,” you croak, trying to breath through the torturous ache afflicting your body.

“No,” he chuckles humorlessly. “You don’t need to be sorry.” You tighten your grip on his hand as another stem pierces through your skin. “Jesus. Who did this to you?”

You shake your head desolately, squeezing your eyes shut in hopes he wouldn’t see. Tears flood down the sides of your face and when you open your eyes back up and your gaze locks on his countenance, you know he knows.

“No,” his lips turn down desperately. “No!”

Sirens wail in the distance. The woman squeezes his shoulder before rushing off to meet the ambulance.

“It’s not…your fault,” you try to assure him even as another burst of coughs plagues you. 

“I didn’t know,” he whispers desperately. “I didn’t know.” He lifts your head up onto his lap in hopes of making you more comfortable. “I would have said something sooner. That’s why I invited you here. God, I’m too late. I’m sorry. I’m so so sor-.”

His words are cut off as you let out a muffled scream. His wide horrified eyes are the last thing you see before a bush of blue anemones bursts forth from your torso.

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