#exmormormon

[inbabylontheywept]

A Strange Non-Fiction Essay on American Alcohol Consumption

TW: Drinking, alcohol, alcoholism.

I made this because I grew up Mormon, so I had no idea what normal drinking looked like. First party I went to, some people had two drinks, one guy had 8 and fell asleep, and I just... I didn't know how to judge the normalacy of the two groups. I didn't know what to think. So I looked into it, and truth was stranger than fiction.

If you're young and new to drinking, this can help you see the camps in American drinking too. Figure out where the safe limits are, and what's just different approaches to fun.

So, first fun fact: 30% of adult Americans don't drink. Ever. Period. There is a huge dry presence. If you don't want to drink, don't feel weird about it. The Mormons are weirder for refusing to drink coffee than they are for refusing to drink alcohol.

The next 30% up over the zero-consumption-group averages something like one drink every two weeks at most. They're basically dry as well. Another huge population. If you want to go to a party and have one drink, you're in good company.

The seventh decile of Americans drinks something like 2 drinks a week. If you have a beer on Friday when you get home, and grab another with your boys, you're in the top 60% of American drinkers. You're also totally safe, so don't sweat it, but I want you to use this as part of your thermometer for safe and normal drinking: 2 drinks a week is in the top half. Two beer guy at the party is fine. Don't get pressured into drinking more. Don't get pressured into drinking less. You're not abnormal.

The eighth decile is 6 beers a week. If you have a beer every single day, minus Sunday because it's sacred, congratulations, you're in the top 70 percent of American drinkers.

Hank Hill drinks more than 70% of America. If you drink as much as Hank Hill, you're in good company. If you decide to drink less than him, that's fine too. Hank Hill is abnormal, but he is not unhealthy. He's just a guy who like beers more than most.

The ninth decile has around 15 drinks a week. The high end of safe, for anyone, is around 14 drinks a week. 15 is basically at the point that guarantees some slight degree of permanent liver damage. Don't panic if you're at this level, but going beneath it would be wise. Like, noticeably beneath it. The recommended levels are 14 for men, and 7 for women, and that just seems weird to me. I don't think my gender gives me twice the resistance to alcohol that women do, I think that's some weird social malarkey. Maybe 10 is good? Unless you're tiny or something. Just, be careful, this is the here-be-dragons part of the map.

And for the grand finale, the tenth decile consumes...75 drinks a week. There's not much to be said on this, it's just a mind boggling number.

So the two strangest details I can point out are that every decile drinks more than every decile beneath them combined, and the tenth decile drinks three-quarters of all alcohol sold by mass. Alcohol consumption is not any kind of linear curve, it is extremely weighted. If you're trying to find out what normal drinking looks like, you will be disappointed. It's much easier to figure out what problem drinking looks like, and stay the hell away.

First big bullet point that I'll throw into this for people just entering drinking culture: You're probably fine. If you drink too much and you get sloppy, or even blackout, your mistake was probably in not knowing your limits, not being an addict. Don't panic. Don't keep doing that, but also, don't panic. That being said, with only 40% of America really regularly consuming alcohol regularly, and half of those having a relationship with it that impacts their health, please, be careful. That top ten percent provides a baseline for how severe alcoholism is (ten beers would put me on my ass) but this also shows how health-impacting drinking does not have to be relationship-impacting drinking. Two beers a day is probably not going to ruin your career and your marriage, but it will sneak up on your liver. You don't have to be an alcoholic to be worried about how much you drink, and you shouldn't tell everyone that is drinking too much that they're an alcoholic. Source: Paying the Tab, Phillip J Cook. Really, almost all of the information in this can be pulled from this graph.

And my citations for health recommendations for drinking: https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/moderate-binge-drinking#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20%22Dietary%20Guidelines,in%20a%20day%20for%20women%2C