#excuse me as I wrestle with this metaphorically out loud

[scarletspider2the2ndpower]

Chasm: Curse of Kaine (Vol. 1/2024), #1.

Writer: Steve Foxe; Penciler and Inker: Andrea Broccardo; Colorist: Brian Reber; Letterer: Joe Caramagna

[k-indie]

Go To Town

Roommate!Sukuna x Reader | He walks in on you dancing in the kitchen | MDNI MDNI MDNI 18+

When Sukuna agreed to be your roommate, you didn't think much of it. He wasn't loud and obnoxious, he didn't have a chick under his arm or in his bed every night and he was actually more respectful of your space than you expected, especially in it being that he was your resident bad boy with a demonic sort of edge, his tattoos gave you mixed feelings like he was either in a gang or a cult and it also turned you on too much to bear even admitting it to yourself. And he was also the last person available, having been kicked to the curb by Nobara for Maki and Mai didn't even go to the same school, Megumi and Yuji already paired off before anyone got the chance to ask either of them, and everyone else already matched with their partners or other friends, even your own friends had roommates, and you didn't want to be alone for the fear of intruders or Gojo popping in as he pleased, so Sukuna had to deal with the shy request of being your roommate. And maybe he actually wanted you to ask him for such a favor with that cute, flustered face of yours and your fingers pointed to each other with your head canted to the side as you looked to the floor. He preferred someone like you as his roommate anyway, you were easy to get along with when you weren't acting all shy and hard-to-get. He wanted more than to be your roommate, and perhaps this wasn't going to be a bad idea whatsoever.

You were always so quiet whenever he was around and you would find yourself quickly shooting out of most conversations with him because of his intense gazes and the occasional lick of his lips had your mind spinning and thighs clenching. None of it going unnoticed by your roommate when you quickly bit your lip and excused yourself to scamper off into your room. He swore he could see your metaphorical tail tucked between your legs whenever he'd enter the room. And it wasn't to say you were scared of him per se, just... overwhelmed.

He had a thing for innocent, shy girls. Something daunting under the surface as he came to the realization that you weren't this shy with your friends, always outgoing whenever you were around them but right back to that easily-bothered, tensed little girl he wanted to maim sexually.

He'd been watching your social media for days, occasionally liking your posts and imagining the soft gasps you'd made at seeing his name flash in your notifications. Sometimes he would comment, too. Little remarks here and there littered many of your posts with devil emojis or the occasional, "That's my girl," in various rewritings of the phrase.

But one night, when you didn't come back home over the weekend, he saw your story filled with videos of you twerking, dancing, and gyrating your hips against your girlfriends at a party, one that he refused to go to when you shyly offered, but he didn't realize how much he regretted not going until he saw said story.

"Fuck, she's not that innocent after all..."

And when you did go home, looking like you hadn't slept for a day, he was quick to greet you with that infamous smirk and a pot of coffee ready for you should you decide to drink it. "Hungover, pretty?"

Your eyes widened at the nickname, lips drying at the greeting and your chest rising slowly as you swiftly shook your head and darted into your room. "Still shy, I see," he mumbled to himself, downing his black coffee before sauntering into the living room and putting on a television show. And about an hour and some change later, you came slowly waltzing into the room to see him watching some wrestling show and no longer sipping his coffee, one leg propped up on the sofa and the other planted on the floor while his left arm was hanging on the back of the couch.

"Uhm, Sukuna-kun, are you hungry? I'm ordering out... do you want me to get you anything?"

His head swiveled around to face you from his position on the sofa, eyeing your thigh high socks and a mid-length skirt that let about an inch of skin peek through with a large shirt that was cut into a cropped tee but covered your entire midsection save for the high waisted skirt adorning your body. You looked downright adorable and he wanted to eat you instead of the food you were offering to grab for him. But he held that back with an inward groan and shrugged, "I'll have whatever you have. You getting it delivered or what?"

You bit your cheek on the inside, eyes darting to the floor and mumbling that you were going to pick it up. "What was that?"

"I said I'm going to pick it up."

"Okay, I'll go with you."

"No! That's okay." You shook your head so fast that Sukuna thought you were going to pass out from the speed of your head twirling back and forth. He was already off the sofa by this point and walking closer to you and watching as you shuffled backward before turning on your heel and darting to the front door. "I'll-I'll be back in a few." You stuttered softly as you put your shoes on, but a hand on your hip halted your movements entirely. "I said I'll go, so I'll go. Don't be stubborn, girl."

You were quick to slip your other shoe and turn yourself out of his grasp, warmth covering your skin and making you sweat slightly as you faced him. "I'll wait outside then."

--

"Why do you always get so shy around me?"

You'd agreed to sit with Sukuna in the living room while you ate, something you never did with your roommate until now. And you almost choked on your food at the question, swallowing slowly and putting your utensils down on the takeout box.

"I d-don't get shy around you..."

"You have never had a conversation with me without stuttering at least once."

At that, you went silent and stared down at your half eaten food before deciding you were full. "You're so much more alive with your friends than you are around me. Why is that?"

Sukuna was beyond curious at this point, he needed his answer ASAP and you weren't about to keep holding back your cute personality around him any longer. He would eventually see everything anyway when you were beneath him, gyrating against him instead of your friends.

"You still there, (Name)?"

You snapped your head up to look at him but you immediately pulled back, leaning against the arm of the couch because his face was so close to yours. "I-I'm... well, I guess... I don't know..."

He straightened up as he watched you close your box before resting it against your legs, fiddling with the edges of it as you spoke again, "I've never really... interacted with you very much prior to this whole situation so... I mean, I'm kind of overwhelmed with your presence alone and maybe it's-it's your tattoos or the fact that you're like ex-extremely handsome and I've never had to share a living space with anyone before and-"

His hand on your chin silenced your bit about him, lips pressing together quickly as your widened doe eyes looked up at him. "You think I'm extremely handsome and that's why you're always so flustered around me, pretty?"

Your lips curled upwards and you pressed them together before sucking them into your mouth. "Uh, did I say that? Haha~" You smiled sheepishly and nervously rubbed at the back of your neck. "I'll let it slide... this time."

You were wet as fuck, to say the least. He released his hold on your chin to grab your food and take it to the kitchen. You thanked him before he left the living room and you bit your lip when he smirked down at you, eyes staring at you from the corner of his lashes before he disappeared again. "I'm going to study... midterms are coming up and I want to be r-ready."

You were still stuttering even after the revelation and he found it so cute that you were still flustered. "I'll be in my room. You know where to find me if you need anything."

He waved a hand lazily and sauntered to his room once again. You nodded and made your way back to yours to shove your head in your books and disappear from reality for a while so you could prepare for your exams.

--

Growing slightly grubby for some cookies, you found yourself in the kitchen, listening to music in your earplugs and shutting the outside world out as you baked. The smell of chocolate and cookie dough permeated the air around you as you twirled and turned to the song.

You were mid-twerk and popping your chest upward before winding your hips with your arms folded slightly above your head, your skirt following your movements. You swayed your hips side to side while you pulled the cookies out of the oven, finally ready to cool off and be feasted on. You brought a hand up to wave the cookies off for a moment, twirling to the side as you grabbed a spatula out of the drawer to scoop the cookies onto the cooling rack.

Placing the used dishes in the sink, you dropped your body to the floor before slowly bringing yourself back up and shaking your ass left to right, legs jutting forward one after the other as you did, feeling the jiggle of your ass as your tongue darted out to touch your top lip.

When you stopped doing that move, you popped out each hip with your hands falling on your knee and curving your leg in and then out on both sides, your arms coming to the side of your head and down as you rolled your body and pulling at nothing as you twisted your legs in and out again to the beat of the song, a tiktok dance you learned at the party you went to that weekend. And Sukuna got to see you dancing in the kitchen for the first time, a mild contrast to your usual reserved self and he couldn't resist watching you do your thing before you turned to the side to do the Mean Girls dance when they were at the talent show singing Jingle Bell Rock.

You brought one hand up and then the other and just as you were about to slap your thighs, you saw pink hair and black tattoos in the corner of your eye and you immediately halted, eyes darting over to the viewer.

He spoke, but you couldn't hear him and you brought your hands down and straightened up quickly, "Ah, Sukuna-kun... how-how long have you been standing there?"

Your eyes were blown wide, hands clasping together in front of you, trying to gain some modesty and dignity back for what you had just done in front of him. "Long enough to know you could be a stripper if you really wanted to."

His playful smirk made you shudder slightly and you turned away from him quickly, picking up one of the cookies and confiscating a piece of it into your stomach. Your attempt to change the subject was futile, because now he was pressed against you, back to his chest with both of his hands on either side of you grabbing the counter, your question of if he wanted a cookie falling on deaf ears at that point.

Instead, it seemed like he wanted a piece of you. "I want to eat chocolate off your body... I want to start with that fat ass of yours too."

His hand gripped the flesh of your hips before turning you around to face him, snatching the cookie out of your hands tossing it back on the tray.

"Hm, you've got crumbs here, allow me."

His tongue darted out and he licked the corner of your mouth, moving over the other side while dragging the tip of his lightly over your lips and licking the other corner.

You were locked in his lustful regard for a long minute before you swallowed thickly, eyes trailing down to his lips and back up to his eyes. He let a grunt travel from his throat to your ears when he finally pressed his lips against yours, grabbing at every part of your body that he could, roughly nipping and licking at your lips and tongue and swallowing all of your gasps and moans.

And before you knew it, you were on top of him in his bed, legs parted over his face and he was lapping at your cunt like a mad man, clothes thrown all over the place from the kitchen and down the hall to his room. Your back arched and you out a loud mewl when his tongue flicked quickly at your clit, his fingers holding the hood back as he overstimulated you into another orgasm. And it was all from clit play, he never once stuck a finger inside of you, not even his tongue. He had you gushing over his tongue and lips with no problem and never once came up for air.

You were too stunned to speak.

"Sukuna-kun... I can't take any m-more... please... hah~"

He flicked your bud quicker, slapping it a couple times and making your lurch backward, but his hands caught you and kept you place above him. "Let me finish, that was three, I'll stop at four."

You moaned in response when his lips wrapped around your pert bud, eyes rolling back into your head when he sucked it harsher than before and shook his head quickly, slurping at your slick before finally inserting a finger and you groaned in slight pain, feeling something more than pleasureful pain now.

"Fuck... are you a virgin?"

You moaned and bit your tongue, nodding at him and searching his face for any signs of disapproval, but he only smirked and went back to fingering your pussy, stretching it a bit before he went back to attacking your clit and finding your g-spot. You were sure he'd let you off easy after this orgasm rippled through you, eyes rolling back impossibly far and all you saw were stars marking your vision as you crashed down around his mouth, hips rolling against his face and he allowed you to ride out your high against his mouth and nose.

"Daddy~"

When you were finally finished with your gyration, you gasped for air and looked down at your roommate who was already staring at you with a hint of something in his eyes and he was completely still before moving you off of him and mounting you, legs tossed over his shoulders as he aligned himself to your slit.

When you realized what you said and what he is now doing, you couldn't help but beg him, "Wait, Sukuna-kun, I-I'm not ready for this position, I can't-"

But he was already balls deep inside of you, eyes blown wide and mouth forming a wide '0' shape as he pressed painfully harsh against your cervix, eyes trailing over your shocked face and he'd be lying if he said you didn't have the sexiest fucked out face, ever.

You pushed at his hips, trying to get him to move, but the position restricted you and he'd already started to move against you will. "S-Sukuna-kun, please... Let me ad-adjust..."

"I won't. Just relax and stop squeezing me so much... you must want to be a mommy," he groaned loudly, pleased with the way your pussy fluttered around his cock and your hips twitching, trying to sink further into the bed than so tightly pressed against him. He leaned over you, hands gripping yours as his torso held your legs against your chest and he slowly started rotating his hips in a figure eight motion, slowly beginning to pound into your pussy.

He watched as your head fell back and felt your hands clench into tight fists. "Fuck, this pussy is so damn good... I'm not gonna go easy on you anymore, you've had plenty of time to adjust.

He released your hands and told you to hold onto something, so you grabbed the headboard and he pulled out so only his tip was inside of you before barreling back inside of you and slamming repeatedly against your cervix and various sweet spots that his long, fat cock burned against.

He could feel your climax reaching closer, eyes swirling into the back of your head again and a pool of saliva dripping down your lips.

"I should fuck that pretty little mouth when I'm done with this cunt, huh?"

You nodded, not knowing at all what was said but agreeing because you were sure you'd enjoy whatever Sukuna gave you, especially his cock at this point.

"D-daddy... I'm-I'm gonna cum..."

He slapped your tit, then your cheek before gripping your neck and choking you, his grunts and harsh, deep thrusts plaguing your mind, "Say that shit again, slut."

You whimpered at the name, loving the way he was manhandling you onto your stomach. "I never wanna hear you call me anything else, beautiful."

You were already squirting and creaming all over his cock before you fell limp against his shoulder, his hands keeping you up and against his body.

"Good girl...

[yespolkadotkitty]

Take What You Need

A special treat for the lovely @keeper0fthestars - a flimsy excuse to get railed into next week by Francisco Morales.

Warnings: SMUT. Porn with a flimsy nod to plot. Word count: 2300

Thanking @alwaysbethewest and @songsformonkeys​ for the beta!!

“All right! You heard the man, wheels up in thirty!” Redfly shouted across the small airfield. “Catch some sleep, eat, do whatever, but I want us all in that helo, in thirty.”

“Copy that,” Pope shouted back, heading off towards the thick bushes surrounding the hangar and aircraft. Ironhead followed, probably to try and talk some sense into him. Ironhead had always been the most sensible of you all.

In fact, it was William who had spoken up for you when Pope suggested you come along.

“She’s good with a rifle,” Ironhead said calmly. “And her Spanish is decent. Way better’n mine and Benny’s, anyways.”

Redfly - the infuriatingly traditional conservative middle-class American man - had ummed and aahed, and you knew it was because you had a vagina. 

But here you were, and you’d taken out two of Lorea’s guys from the roof with your rifle, so Redfly could suck your metaphorical dick.

The man in question loped back to the other side of the airfield, towards Pope’s informant, and started to talk to her about something.

“This is a clusterfuck of epic proportions.”

You turned at that voice. A little raspy, a little husky-edged, it sent a shiver up your spine. Always had, and probably always would.

Francisco Morales shook his head when you turned to look at him. His ballcap - dirty, soft - was pulled down low over his head. Hair the colour of milk chocolate curled out from underneath it. He met your gaze, and his own hazelnut eyes were so, so tired.

“It could’ve gone better,” you agreed, letting your eyes trail down his long, lean frame - a little soft in the middle, but you’d always liked his tummy.

Francisco - Catfish to you all, because during special ops training, he’d caught one almost the size of himself - was an enigma of a man. Soft, sometimes. Hard, sometimes.

You’d known him five years now, and during that time you’d seen him pull the trigger a foot from a man’s head without wincing, and you’d seen him comfort a three year old girl left homeless in a war zone, his voice soft, his touch gentle. The yin and yang of him fit, somehow.

Catfish scoffed. “Not sure how it could’ve gone any fucking worse.” He ripped off his cap, and your eyes were drawn to a deep cut on his cheek.

“What’s this?” You automatically reached up to touch his face. His tanned skin was rough under your fingers as you traced the edges of the healing wound. “It might scar.”

Francisco grunted. “Like that’s a concern right now.”

You grinned, dropped your hand. “It’ll be sexy. The scar, I mean.”

“You think?” He laughed without humour, wrung his cap in his hand, and you saw how drawn his starkly handsome face was, the patchy scruff around his jawline grey in places. God, had you thought about kissing that almost-beard, stroking your fingers over his bristly chin. “I wish being sexy was what worried me most. I’m fuckin’ losing my shit here. The scales are off the charts, the helo will never make it to the ocean-” he swore a stream in Spanish, and stuffed his hat back on. The frustration steamed off him in waves.

“Fish.” You braced your hands on his shoulders, looked up into his face, twisted with anger and fear. “We’ll be okay. We’ve had worse than this.”

“Yeah, but we’ve never had worse with you,” he bit off, shrugging off your touch and pacing away, shoving his cap back on, his hair curling at the edges. “Jesus fucking Christ, if anything happens to you, I’ll-”

“Fish!” You shout to be heard over the noise of the aircraft prep, the wind, the sound of Redfly and Pope’s informant arguing. “Nothing will happen to me. You saw me take out Lorea’s guys. And I saved your ass on that mission in Istanbul.”

Francisco shifted, adopting that hands-on-hips stance he always did when he was thinking. “I know.”

“Then what? I’m not a porcelain doll, Francisco.”

And you saw it. His eyes went hot when you used his full name. Hot and sort of.. Dark. Like he wanted to drag you into that hangar and bend you against the corrugated metal wall and rail you into next week.

And boy, you’d let him.

“What?” you challenged. He needed this release. Whether it was shouting at you or whether you wrestled until the fight had gone out of him, he could not fly that helo with your lives and that money at stake in such a state.

He muttered something in Spanish. Your command of the language was very good but his voice was pitched too low for you to make out the syllables.

“Oh, you wanna go?” You lifted your fists in a mock fighting stance. “You ever hit a girl, Morales?”

“There’s always a first time,” he gritted out humourlessly.

You danced around, goading him. “Maybe you’re afraid I’d kick your ass.”

Fish scoffed, and you could see the tension in his shoulders, in the line of his back. He was a loaded powder keg, seconds from a bloody explosion from the heat, the stress, the shooting. “Stop it.”

“Make me.”

You saw the moment his eyes changed - went dark again, and you turned, running for the hangar.

You heard him bark out a laugh as he pursued you, his long legs eating up the terrain. You ran flat out, reaching the hangar in under a minute, Fish hot on your heels. The minute he barrelled through the door you slammed it behind him.

“What the fuck?” he asked, confusion parading over his face - somehow even more alluring when he was dirty, tired, stressed.

You yanked him close and kissed him. It was the first time, and all the times you’d thought about kissing him, an inaurgural kiss, it was never like this. It was in your shitty home town, under some trees, or under the bleachers of the old high school, or by moonlight at the drive-in.

It took a second, and then Francisco was kissing you back, his lips fierce, hard, the kiss almost painful in its intensity. He tasted of terrible coffee and the beef jerky you’d all forced down, and you licked into his mouth, tangling your tongue with his, and the flavour of his little groan was divine.

“We don’t have long,” he whispered harshly. “What - what do you want?”

Your breath was coming in pants. He smelled of clean sweat, the outdoors, and the spring rain, and you were wetter than you’d ever been. This close to Catfish, you couldn’t cope with the well of desire, too long ignored. “You can’t fly us like this, Fish. In this state.”

His hands clenched on your hips. “What?”

“Relieve the pressure.” You slid a hand down his body, cupped him, felt his erection like steel in velvet. Your blood fired. “For us both.”

“Shit.” Francisco leaned down, rested his forehead against yours. “I’ve fucking dreamed of this. But not… not like this, like you’re a cheap fuck. You’re not. You’re… everything.”

The words shook you, and you pressed your lips to his, drinking him in, loving him, like you’d loved him nearly five years, and always been afraid to rock the boat.

Well, now the boat had run aground and it was time.

“You can show me that when we’re safely back on American soil, soldier. For now…” you yanked him close again, pressed your palm to his cock. “Take what you need. Give me what I need.”

“Fuck,” he bit off, and then he was kissing you like a starving man falling upon a banquet, all tongues and teeth and Frankie, and you pressed as close to him as you could.

“How long do we have?” you panted out.

He shot his cuffs, checked his watch. “Quarter hour.”

“Then make every minute count, Morales.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he breathed. And he got on his knees in front of you, pulling at your jeans.

Your heart leapt into your chest at the first brush of his breath on your bare legs. Frankie rolled the denim down, ghosted a kiss over your underwear.

“You would not believe, baby, how often I’ve jacked off to the thought of having you,” he whispered.

“Fish, if you don’t do something, I swear to God…”

He took off his cap, passed it to you. “Wear this for me.” After you slapped it on your head, he pulled your hand back down, thrust it into his hair. You tugged him close as he yanked your underwear down and proceeded to fucking feast on you.

You’d never experienced Frankie like this. Near feral, his tongue licking at you like you were his last meal, his favourite food, a longed-for treat. He used his hands - hands you’ve wished were on you, inside you - to spread you so he could spear his tongue inside you, nip at your clit, write his name with his tongue, whatever the fuck he was doing, it felt like Heaven. 

“Stop. Stop,” you whined, pushing at his hair. “Want to come with you inside me.”

He looked up, those cocoa eyes dark and hot and irresistible, and then he was on his feet in a hot second, and he spun you around to face the wall.

“Hold on to something, baby,” he muttered against your neck before he sank his teeth into the sensitive skin at your pulse point, the tiny hurt only making you wetter.

The sound of his belt buckle being undone and the shove of the denim down his thighs was loud to your ears.

“Please,” you gritted out, arching your back.

Frankie slid a palm down your naked butt, and you heard the growl in his voice when he said, “Sweet girl. When we get back on US soil….” And then he positioned himself and slid home in one smooth, hard thrust, and you gripped the hangar wall hard and cried out at the pleasure and the stretch. He kept going until he bottomed out, curses in English and Spanish falling from his lips in that husky baritone made for pure sin, and then as you groaned in satisfaction, he curled a hand around to your front and rubbed you in maddening circles.

“We don’t have long,” you warned, muscles already fluttering.

“Fuck. Won’t take long. You feel too good. You’re so fucking tight. How - how do you-”

“Fast and hard,” you instructed, and you felt him twitch inside you at your words, heard his moan. “I wanna feel you tomorrow, Francisco.”

“Oh fuck,” he grated out, and then he pulled almost all the way out before slamming back in. The force was just what you needed, and you cried out at the wonderful pressure, the push of him inside you, the texture and shape of him. Better, harder, larger than you had imagined.

You spread your legs as much as you could given the  denim around your calves, and Frankie fucks you hard, keeping one hand on your hip and the other at the apex of your body, strumming you expertly.

“Wish we had more fucking time,” he rasped into your hair, pressing a frantic kiss there. “Sweet girl. You feel like heaven. Always.. Knew.. you would.”

“The things I’m gonna to do you when we get home,” you shot back, and pressed your hips into him. “Oh God, more, please.”

He upped the tempo, and the sound of your bodies slapping together was obscene. His fingers circled your clit once, twice more, and you flew off that sweet cliff edge, crying out his name and burying your face in your elbow to muffle the sound.

Frankie’s hips faltered as he gave you all he had, thrusting into you at a punishing pace before his hips stuttered.

“Two minute warning!” Ironhead yelled from outside.

“I want to feel you come inside me, Fish,” you whispered over your shoulder.

“Fuck.” And he tumbled over the precipice too, hips shaking. You felt him jerk inside you, felt the hot surge of his climax, and he pressed down hard on your clit, triggering another little orgasm for you, too.

“Jesus. Fuck.” Frankie leant his forehead on your back, panting. “Christ.”

“You gotta get some more swear words, Morales,” you said, but your breath hitched too, and you wiggled your hips, making him shiver.

He pulled out, zipped up, and then took care putting your clothes in order. When he tugged you close for a kiss, you tasted yourself.

“First fucking chance I get,” Frankie rasped, his lips in your hair, “I’m gonna take my sweet time doing everything I want to you. With you.”

“Then get us over those mountains, Francisco, and I’m yours.” You nip at his bottom lip, then sprang apart when Redfly yanked open the hangar door.

“Fuck’s sake, Fish, we thought you’d gone AWOL. It’s go time.”

“Copy that,” Frankie shot back. You let him leave first, glanced down to admire his ass in those jeans. 

And you thought, with single-minded determination: We just need to get over these mountains. Then Francisco Morales would be all yours.

Redfly looked at his departing back and then turned to you, eyes narrowed. “Why are you wearing Fish’s hat?”

****

Tagging the Pedro pals: @emmy-dandiliom918​ @thirstworldproblemss @cinewhore @poenariuniverse​ @keeper0fthestars​ @scarlettvonsass​ @casually-introverted​ @knittingqueen13​ @phoenixhalliwell​ @10-96dispatcher @buckstaposition​ @agirllovespasta​ @songsformonkeys​  @gamingaquarius​ @mstgsmy​  @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​ @dornish-queen​ @maxphillipswasright @winters-buck​ @mourningbirds1​ @pascalitomorales​ @mrsparknuts​ @alldatalost​ @abuttoncalledsmalls​ @mrschiltoncat​ @auty-ren​ @heatherbel​

it’s 10.45pm my brain has failed if I left you off I apologize!!

[justlookatthosesausages]

“In the eye of the storm” ◊◊◊◊ a post-Frozen 2 fanfic ◊◊◊◊ CHAPTER 6: All hail

There was no doubt. Elsa kept turning the crown between her fingers, and it was indeed her sister’s. Why was Anna’s crown lost in the middle of nowhere?

A flash of her younger’s coronation came to her eyes, smiling as she held the orb and scepter. It got layered with a vision of Anna suffering, and Elsa winced. She lost her balance, almost falling in the mud.

Her blood turned cold, and it wasn’t just a metaphor. The magic glow in her hand turned in a higher shade of blue, and the big ice snowflake she was making float above her palm was getting brighter and brighter, but also colder and colder. The air around it started to turn to smoke. The rain passing near her skin turned to snow before touching the ground.

The blonde’s breathing hitched, and she was staring at the crown in her hand like she was facing a ghost.

“Anna...” She moaned, her eyebrows twisted in a devastated expression.

Rask suddenly neighed, warning her of the sudden cold on the path and taking her out of her reverie.

The Snow Queen startled, and shook her head.

“No. No, this can’t be true. You can’t be...”

Even by whispering, she couldn’t say the word. She gulped, and stood up. With a trembling pace, she walked back to her horse, and was about to climb on his back.

However, when she touched the back of Rask’s neck to get up, the stallion neighed in fear, the touch being extremely cold.

Elsa gasped when she understood and apologized right away. She took a step back and tried to calm down her breathing. However, her twisted mind kept imagining a hundred sad ways Anna could have lost her crown here. She squeezed her eyes shut with a groan.

“Stop it. Stop it!”

Her fists clenched in anger at herself, and in the process, she crushed the glowing snowflake. It turned to ice dust that fell to the ground, plunging the path in darkness again. In her other hand, however, she felt the hard steel of Anna’s crown, and the tips ornated with crocuses pricking her skin as she clamped it. Elsa stopped at the pain – both physical and psychological – that it procured her, and looked down at the object, her gaze lost in the rain.

She remembered that, on the first day she had seen the crown, she had admired how the color of its green enlightened Anna’s eyes. She remembered that, when Anna had lifted her head after she crowned her, her gaze had descended from the crocuses of steel to the teal blue eyes just as powerful and solid of her little sister, staring right back at her. In that moment, Anna simply was the most beautiful Elsa had never seen, and she actually didn’t watch her long because she then saw blur due to the tears filling her eyes. Hopefully, she had blinked them away and continued the ceremony, supported by Anna’s touched smile, and later the claps of all the people present in the chapel.

Another thing had hit Elsa that day at Anna’s coronation; she knew instantly, by staring at those unique eyes, that her little sister would be the most amazing person she had ever seen. She would fight for what’s good, she would always be open-minded, she would always turn danger away, but also, she would never ever surrender.

Elsa’s gaze lifted up. Her eyes were determined now. Anna had to be safe. Somewhere.

She approached Rask, gently stroking them in excuse and care, and once the horse snorted, she climbed on his back.

Slamming her ankles against his flanks to send the stallion into gallop, she prayed for Anna to be safe in Hitiheimr, holding her crown close.

=======

Elsa quite literally barged into the kingdom. She had come to Hitiheimr in the past when she was Queen, so she knew where to head to the castle’s gates. Hopefully in that sad downpour time, nobody was in the streets, and as the castle had no ramparts, she got to the entrance really quickly. She hesitated between jumping off Rask and running to the doors, or gently putting the horse in the stables. When she saw the armored guards walking to her with voulges, their helmets and plastrons shining in the light of dawn, she preferred to go for the second option.

Elsa hoped down the horse, and was about to run to the stable boys. The stallion neighed to get her attention. She twirled around, because he sounded like he warned her that she forgot something. She followed Rask’s nod and saw that she was covered with mud from her feet to her tibias, not being very white anymore.

With a gasp, she cleaned herself in a burst of scrubbing snowflakes, and the heavy rain did the rest.

“Thanks, Rask.”

The Arendellian horse neighed.

It attracted the servants’ attention, and they came to her as she entered the stables. She explained the situation, and soon the guards came to her because they thought she was a thief – and very indiscreet one, remarked one of them, for she was entirely dressed in white with a clear blue ice armor. Elsa presented herself and summarized the urgency, then took leave and went to the castle’s heavy portcullis.

Hitiheimr’s castle was more medieval and had rounder shapes than Arendelle’s. Its stones were brown and black, and it had several towers, which gave it a haunted aura in the grey early light of day, though Elsa truly didn’t care. She explained her venue to the guards on the other side of the grid. They opened it up for her in a concert of metal chains and grunts, and the portcullis was barely one meter high off the stone that Elsa slid underneath and ran past them. Confused, they looked at her make her way through the courtyard, and into the castle.

The interior was way less lit than Arendelle’s corridors, due to the lack of windows and the use of fire torches on the walls as mere light. Elsa knew that this was an advantage and meant that the castle’s walls were thick and more apt to block invaders, but in that time, she was begging to see better. Her panicked steps led her into every corridor, her eyes scanning every face searching for Anna. There were a lot of people between the royals, their politicians, and the Hitiheimr staff. Elsa couldn’t help but frown at the crowd. Weren’t they supposed to be in a meeting? Did it end already? No, she could tell they were all waiting, and that nothing had started yet.

At a corner, Elsa’s gaze was attracted by a cascade of fiery orange on her right, and thought it was the flame of a torch. However, she then turned her head again and realized that this flame was at her height, and it was talking with a black man who looked exactly like... Mattias.

“ANNA!!”

She had yelled her name with all the force in her lungs, and it echoed against the stones of the walls. Many persons turned around, but once again Elsa didn’t care at all.

As she ran at full speed to her sister, the redhead followed Mattias’ shocked stare and turned around, just in time to have a bright white thing grabbing her arms with full force.

“ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”

A very noisy bright white thing.

“What the—”

Elsa was checking every inch of her body, palpating her arms, legs, face, and so on.

“ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!?”

“Sweet goodness, Elsa, yes, I am. What are you doing hhhh—?”

Elsa only needed for her sister to say the word before hugging her tight and burying her face in her neck. The air got ripped from Anna’s lungs at the force of the embrace. It wasn’t the most powerful she had ever given her, but it definitely entered the top five.

“El...sa...”

She tapped her elder’s back like she was stuck in a wrestling match. The blonde parted the hug, and she gasped as she could finally breathe.

Anna held to her sister’s shoulder, the other hand on her chest, panting as she retrieved oxygen.

“What in Odin’s name...”

“Hello, Mattias.” Smiled Elsa.

The man blinked at her sudden happiness, probably due to know that Anna was safe, and he awkwardly bowed.

“G... Good morning, Your Highness.”

Elsa returned to inspecting Anna’s state, her fingers checking her neck. “Are you sure you’re not hurt somewhere?”

The redhead swatted her hand. “I’m fine! Will you please tell me what the heck you’re doing here?”

The Snow Queen let out a long exhale, the effort and panic that held to her during the ride finally slipping out.

“I had to make sure you were okay.”

Anna blinked in bewilderment. “Well, I am, but now I’m starting to think that you aren’t. Are you feverish again?”

“No! I’m perfectly healthy!”

Everything in her behavior stated the opposite. Elsa had messy hair, and she had just soaked Anna with her hug because of how much rain she still had on her.

“When did you arrive?” Asked Mattias, surprised nobody warned of her arrival the day before.

“I just did. I’m coming from the stables.”

Two pairs of eyes widened in front of her.

“You traveled by night?” Exclaimed the general.

Anna frowned.

“Then where’s your...”

She then realized that of course, Elsa wasn’t accompanied by any guard.

“You came alone?!”

The Snow Queen genuinely couldn’t see where the problem was, and got intrigued by their expressions. “Why, yes.”

Anna massaged the top of her nose.

“Okay, now... How to phrase that politely... ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND?”

Elsa startled at the shout, and Mattias urged to quiet her. Some leaders turned around at the sound, and exchanged some commentaries.

Anna pushed the soldier’s arm.

“Are you— Stop it, let me talk to her. Are you aware of how stupidly dangerous it is to have come to me and done such a travel?”

Elsa was about to reassure her softly, however she actually frowned and grumbled.

“Oh, so when you go, it’s the safest path in the world, but when I go, it’s perilous?”

Anna replied with as much force, and the two sisters fought out loud with sharp arguments.

“Please, don’t quarrel again...” Insisted Mattias, his jaw clenching.

He addressed a sorry gesture to the people watching them. The sisters were fully sending each other’s aggressive remarks now.

“Your Highnesses, you’re making a scene. Please stop.”

Elsa finally was the one who paid attention to the general and his worry, so she forced the redhead to quiet down.

“Anna. If I risked my life like that, it was to make sure you were okay. But now that I know you are, I’m infinitely relieved and happy.”

The Queen pouted. Elsa kept going.

“I couldn’t sleep at night thinking you were out there, maybe trapped in this storm, and we didn’t receive any missive...”

“The messengers are all busy traveling the country to get information from the Southern Isles.” Stated Anna, thinking out loud.

Mattias nodded.

“That explains it.” Understood Elsa.

Then she frowned. “Wait, the Southern Isles?”

Anna waved her hand to dismiss the discussion. “We’ll come back to it later.”

Elsa sighed, actually retrieving her normal breathing only now.

She looked at her sister with a smile, and hugged her tight. This time, the hug was slow and tender. Mattias smiled at the scene, and Anna closed her eyes as she embraced her elder warmly.

The blonde inhaled Anna’s scent to calm herself down, and when she passed a hand in her long hair, she realized something.

“Oh, wait.”

She parted from the hug and Anna lifted a curious eyebrow. Elsa noticed that she had been crying a bit, but looked down to the clear blue satchel made of ice fabric that she had crafted at her waist.

She took out Anna’s crown, and it shone at the light of the torches suspended on the walls.

“I think this belongs to you.” She announced, half gently and half sarcastic.

She handed it to her sister. Anna’s eyes went big as she gasped in surprise, the bright crown reflecting in her pupils.

“Oh my gods, there it is!! I’ve been looking for it everywhere!”

Even Mattias seemed impressed and relieved at the vision of it.

“She had searched for it all day yesterday, we had started to lose hope.”

Elsa stared at them. “Wait, so nothing happened? No accident? No aggression? Nothing? You just... Dropped it in the mud?”

“I had the very bad idea to put it in the back pocket of my orange bag. You know, the one with the hole at the bottom that I keep forgetting to sew? The question was: when did the crown fall?”

Elsa blinked disconcertedly. “Are you serious?! Why do you still have this bag???”

Anna pouted. “Because it’s pretty!!”

Elsa buried her face in her hand.

The redhead then frowned, looking at the item in her fingers. “Wait, you found it in the mud? Then why is it so clean?”

She inspected it. It was shining brightly, like the day she received it from the blacksmith and tried it for the first time. She turned it between her fingers, and blabbered in amazement.

“Wha— How? It looks brand new!”

Elsa followed her gaze. “I had to keep my hand busy on the way to not freeze the reins of my horse, and not hurt him. So I focused on twirling it in my hand again and again. I was a bit fidgety...

“But I had it for more than ten years. Like, I know there was a rust spot here. It’s not just cleaned, it’s...”

“Oh, yes. With the Northuldra, I’ve come to learn how to maintain metal, especially metal blades after hunt on old rusty knifes. Almost all of the Sami people carry a knife. I just used my magic to polis it. With the right amount of vibrations by condensing billions of snowflakes... What?”

She noticed that Anna had been smiling deeply at her words.

“What did I say?”

“Nothing. Nothing more nerdy than usual.” Grinned the redhead.

“So you really came here on a horse?” Intervened Mattias.

Anna turned to him comically. “That’s the part that surprises you?”

The sisters chuckled, and after admiring it some seconds again, the Queen lifted the crown and put it back in her hair.

Elsa smiled tenderly. At last, everything was back to normal.

“Thank you so much for bringing it back to me. It could have been lost forever.”

“You’re welcome. I wasn’t going to keep it for me anyway...” She joked to chase her emotion.

Her younger stared at her, and she could tell that Elsa was still affected by the haunting thought that Anna possibly didn’t make it to the kingdom.

A memory of her voice echoed in her mind. ‘If I lost you, I think I’d lose myself.’

She bit her lip and held Elsa’s hand in hers firmly.

“Are you hungry? We can ask to get you something.”

“Yeah, actually, I didn’t bring anything for the travel, and the emotion starved me, so...”

The Queen shook her head. “Why doesn’t that surprise me. I’ll ask for Hitiheimr servants to get you the same things we got for breakfast.”

“If that doesn’t make you late for the meeting... But it is my understanding that you won’t start until the King of the Southern Isles has arrived, isn’t it?”

“Yes, exactly.”

A silence passed.

“You’re very tempted to make an allusion to Hans, uh?” Guessed Anna, grinning.

“Very. But it’s his brother, so I’m not going to.”

The redhead nodded.

“It’s the occasion for you to take a break. For me as well, I have to admit. You gave me such a fright when you appeared...”

“You definitely both need it.” Advised Mattias, smiling.

His gaze then went to Elsa. “And if I may, I think you’re in great need of a towel as well.”

“I’m fine.”

Anna winced, looking at her from head to toe. “I’m not. It’s the second time in two weeks that I see you running to me completely alarmed and drenched. Please do your floaty water thing before I have a cardiac arrest.”

“Got it.”

Under Mattias’ wide eyes and dropped jaw, Elsa closed her eyes and focused, taking the raindrops out of her ice and snow clothes and hair. They flew and vanished in the air, then she passed a hand in her short spiky bangs to add an aesthetic layer of ice.

“Heavens, that is amazing.” Muttered the general.

The few royals who had witnessed the scene in the corridor almost fainted at the sight.

“Let’s get you something to eat.” Smiled Anna. “Mattias, you can close your jaw.”

The soldier smiled as the two sisters walked away, and he followed. So Elsa had made it all the way here only to check that her little sister was alright... They both had traveled the distance from Arendelle to Hitiheimr for two very different reasons and goals. Yet they shared the same motivation.

He discreetly chuckled. They truly were one leader and one protector, and forming a complete Bridge.

=======

“Wait, what?” Exclaimed Elsa, not believing her ears.

“You’re coming with me. You came all the way here, no? Then make yourself useful.” Teased Anna.

“But...”

“The King of the Southern Isles has just arrived. It’s now or never to ask to have another person present at the meeting. Be by my side during the meeting. If you will, of course.”

The blonde missed a heartbeat, her mouth trembling a bit as she had to take that suggestion in. She then closed it, and bowed with a smile.

“It would be an honor, Your Majesty.”

The royals all assembled in the meeting room, and the King of the Southern Isles appeared next to Anna, Elsa and Mattias as they were the last persons to pass the door. He talked to the King of Hitiheimr who was standing by the entrance.

“Please forgive me for my late arrival. The sea is raging, and our ship got delayed.”

“It’s alright, Your Majesty.” Assured their host. “After you.”

Mattias stared at him with disdain. He found it very rude to be late. If the monarch knew the sea was stormy, then why not leaving early? He lived on an island after all, surely they could plan these things.

Elsa stared at him with guilt. The man surely had risked his life coming here, but also the life of the advisor coming along with him – as the King of Hitiheimr suggested each monarch could be accompanied with one – and each and every life of the sailors on the ship. Nevertheless, she couldn’t help but think that it wasn’t that bad if he died, for he had numerous brothers who could inherit of the kingdom, and that the death of twelve siblings would never be enough to pay for the crimes Hans had committed towards Anna and her.

Anna stared at him with an undeniable hint of arousal. The King was muscular, tall, had an apologetic smile that could stop an arrow in mid-air, and piercing green eyes which seemed to get into her very soul and gave the promise to grant her every wish. Her throat got dry when she noticed that he would sit in front of her. If only his family didn’t carry the bastard who had tried to kill her...

The three of them hurried to shake those bad thoughts out of their heads, and mentally apologized for being this judgmental.

They all took place around the large table. It was more rustic than the one in Arendelle castle’s meeting room. It had more curves and thicker wood, noticed Elsa, so despite the different style, it actually was just as beautiful.

Anna explained the presence of Elsa to everyone, asking for the acceptance of her sister among them. Anna then took her seat between the King of Efstfold and the King of Bjargland.

There were a dozen monarchs. Mattias winced internally when he saw that, in all the room, only one other woman was wearing a crown. All other royals were men. He turned to Elsa. The blonde must have known this sad fact already, for she didn’t react. After all, she had been Queen of Arendelle herself for 3 years, so she surely had had meetings with people around this table. Mattias then realized that it meant that nothing had changed in 11 more years. Only two women in power were seating in the council, against six men.

All sat, and their advisors stood up next to them, behind the chairs, to leave the lead to their superiors. Mattias was standing on Anna’s right side, and Elsa on her left.

After presenting everyone, and the topic of this exceptional venue, the session started.

The King of Hitiheimr started to remind everyone why they were assembled here on this day, then turned to Anna.

“Queen Anna, I suppose that you wish to start.”

“Exactly. Thank you, King Isak. Your Majesties, I had the chance and yet the misfortune to see the progress of the storm that affects us all today.”

She explained how it led them to all gather in urgency, and they agreed.

“It is a storm that is not to be taken lightly.” Advised Anna.

“It fuels itself with the force of Nature, and therefore, won’t be stopped by human means.” Completed Elsa, bringing her knowledge, and her addition surprised everyone. “To alleviate it, we are required to think strategica—"

A King coughed in a way he wanted discreet, but it actually wasn’t at all, being in fact very rude. When everyone turned to him, he smiled.

“Pardon my interruption, but I don’t think that Lady Elsa should interfere. We were allowed to bring only one advisor with us, and it’s properly unfair that Queen Anna gets to be this surrounded.”

Several murmurs appeared around the table. Elsa gulped and took this as a cue to exit the room, and she left without a word. Anna however held her wrist right away. Before the blonde could even look down at the freckled hand grasping her, the younger tugged Elsa back to where she had been standing.

“My sister won’t go anywhere.”

This brought a cold silence in the room, and the King of Blómvegr encouraged the presence of Elsa by asking her a question.

“Surely you can bring us more information as you’re here, Lady Elsa?”

The blonde gulped as all gazes fell on her. “Yes. I can. I think that this storm may be magical, and created by two Spirits.”

“May be?” Repeated the King of Efstfold, frowning. “What do you mean, ‘may be’?!”

He was outraged, and another ruler joined in the anger.

“Aren’t you the Fifth Spirit?”

“Y-yes, I am...”

As she struggled with her words, she couldn’t help but notice that they hadn’t been surprised at the mythical part of her sentence. What annoyed them was her incompetence. It hurt her right into her heart.

“And aren’t you supposed to know it, as the Fifth Spirit?” Intervened now the King of Mosiland.

Elsa clenched her jaw, her emotion rising, and she thought of Honeymaren to not break into tears.

“They’re right!” Pitched the King of Efstfold, exclaiming again. “Why don’t you do anything to stop it? It’s your duty!”

Elsa felt stupid. “I... I tried, but...”

“You tried.” Sighed the King of Bjargland. “And failed, apparently. And now we’re all impacted by this storm.”

Elsa lowered her eyes, ashamed. Anna was as red as a beet, however, and furious of their behavior.

“Why are you even here, Lady Elsa?” Grumbled the same monarch, his tone severe. “This is a high board meeting. Not a—”

“That’s right.” Cut Anna, and everyone turned to her because of her clear voice. “She wasn’t invited to this meeting and King Isak had to kindly accept her presence among us. She’s not even allowed to intervene in this discussion.”

Elsa turned to Anna, about to say something, but the redhead’s eyes were on fire and she kept going.

“Which is why, if you’ve got anything to say to my sister, you go through me.”

All got impressed by her regal voice.

“And I’ll speak in her name for the rest of the conference. On that note, before you have any question regarding means of resolution by magic, know that I can attest that Snow Queen Elsa, as the Fifth Spirit of Nature and guardian of Ahtohallan, did all she could to stop this storm before even coming to Arendelle.”

A respectful silence followed. Mattias looked at Elsa with smiling eyes. The blonde was stunned, her big azure blue eyes sparkling at the light of the chandelier. Anna cleared her throat and kept going.

“This storm has magical origins, and it’s growing more and more every passing day.”

Some trusted her words, but others stared at her with spite.

“And I suppose that this magical manifestation stops right at the Northuldra territory borders?” Insinuated the King of Bjargland.

Anna had to bite her lip to not grunt at his annoying tone.

“No. It may be a magical storm, it is nationwide. Which is why we have to act all together to protect all of our people. Including Sami tribes.”

Half of the royals at the table nodded in agreement. But several groans fused. The other half still had trouble understanding the need to generously help the tribes which offered nothing in return, for they weren’t interested in joining the country’s market trades.

This was a one-year old debate, and the Kings kept being close-minded on this point.

“And I suppose that you merged with their land without telling us?” Accused a leader.

Elsa found that intervention rude, but kept her reverential mask of silence.

Anna stared at him.

“In fact, we never intended and will never intend to merge Arendellian and Northuldra territories, despite our relationship based on peace and respect for the past 11 years.”

She purposely weighed those positive terms to tell them in subtext that they better not critic her position towards the Sami people.

“It’s a deliberate choice.” She continued. “That way, we can ensure that nobody would build a house or a facility on a border of Arendelle thinking it’s a virgin land, when in fact it’s Northuldra territory.”

The same groaning Kings than before groaned again.

“Even if the Northuldra don’t have houses there?”

“Yes. It’s still their land.” Insisted Anna. “And I forbid any acquisition or colonization of it.”

The monarch who asked the question grumbled, and he took note of something on his papers. Elsa understood that her sister had just cancelled a plan of his.

“Now I think that we stepped out of the topic.” Coughed slightly the King of Hitiheimr.

“Yes. As I told you, the magic storm knows no limits and no borders in every meaning of the term.” Summarized Anna, and she side-looked at Elsa who approved with a discreet nod. “Now or never is the time to unite, and take care of everyone in this perilous period.”

Anna’s teal blue eyes inspected all the council members before dropping her tactical decision.

“I think that we should all ask our armies to stop what they are doing and order the soldiers of each of our kingdoms to help the citizens, and help build infrastructures which could have suffered so far.”

The Kings of Efstfold and Mosiland scoffed as they lost their breath.

“Mobilizing our armies?”

“Are you insane?”

Mattias frowned at the direct insult. If it was in a less diplomatic context, he would have attacked the monarch back in Anna’s defense.

“I am very sane, Sir. This is a deeply thought assessment.” Assured the redhead, firm in her response, and she didn’t need Mattias’ support.

“But... Your Majesty, with all due respect...” Started the King of Blómvegr. “What proves us that this is a safe solution?”

An advisor bent to talk to the ear of the Queen of Ellriheimr, thought he did it high enough for the whole room to hear. “My Queen, I don’t think this is a good suggestion to follow. It could be a trap.”

The leader frowned as she thought. She made eye contact with Anna, who obviously had been listening to that guidance to argue against.

“Queen Anna, can you attest that you won’t use this opportunity for an assault?”

“Yes, what proves us that this is not all a ruse, and that Arendelle won’t attack us as soon as we withdraw our armies?” Frowned the monarch of Efstfold.

Anna was shocked by the accusation. “Never would I do that!”

Her surprise was genuine and could be read on the honest woman’s face. Those who had trusted her so far understood that she meant no harm, but for the other remaining, she had just implied war.

“Do you intend to take advantage of that magic storm to extend the territory of Arendelle? And reinforce your position as the leading kingdom?” Frowned the King of Bjargland.

Anna’s jaw dropped. Not only this was a strong allegation, but it also was stupid, for Arendelle was by far the largest land of the country, and had no purpose nor desire in extending more, especially after inheriting from Runeard’s plans.  

However, their mistrust was legitimate, and Anna had to pledge the dubious faces turned to her that she wasn’t scamming anyone.

“King Markus, you know deep down that such a thought would never come to me.”

Mattias and Elsa exhaled discreetly, happy to see Anna had the correct answer.

“Queen Britt, King Kjetil, our geopolitical relationship goes back many years. My sister herewith has already proven to you of Arendelle’s peaceful intentions when she was on the throne.”

The two leaders lowered their gazes, exchanging even another between them and admitting they judged her too quickly. And just like that, the Queen of Ellriheimr and the King of Efstfold joined Anna’s decision and listened carefully to what she had to say for the rest of the conference.  

Two Kings still had not much trust in her. It was mainly due to the anger to listen to the decisions of the youngest monarch around the table who also happened to be a woman, but never would they admit it out loud.

“King Tom...” Started Anna, addressing to the head of Mosiland, and Elsa was impressed at how well she slid their names with a regal way, to be familiar with them without being disrespectful. “...Our two lands already had been in a similar situation a few years ago when a cliff had collapsed down South and fell on a road that both our kingdoms use.”

He bit his lip. “And Arendelle helped us without compensation.”

They all looked down, regretting a bit to have raised their voices.

His counterpart of Hitiheimr smiled, and took advantage of a silence to add: “Arendelle and Hitiheimr have been partners for several generations now, and we didn’t have a single problem in our history.”

He turned to his right, where the King of the Southern Isles was seating. “I suppose that you don’t see any harm coming from Arendelle as well, King Ruben?”

The man who had been silent and observing until now finally smiled. “None at all. Besides, we have a long debt of forgiveness towards Arendelle that I’m afraid will never be fully returned. So I stand by Queen Anna’s choice.”

Elsa and Anna noticed that he had been staring at them as he talked, and they were glad it had been addressed. They both nodded quietly.

The redhead eyed all of the monarchs. “To prove to you all that I don’t intend to attack you, I’ll leave here in Hitiheimr the general of my army, Destin Mattias, for as long as this storm lasts.”

She gestured to the soldier on her right, and they all widened their eyes in surprise. Did she just point to her advisor?

Elsa missed a heartbeat, but Mattias remained stoic.

“He’s someone you can trust with your life, and I sincerely believe you can all place your future in his hands without blinking an eye. He’s an acutely skilled soldier, and an excellent general. His competences in strategy are close to perfection. As you can see, he’s also my advisor today, because he happens to be my counselor. In other words... His presence here and away from the kingdom of Arendelle is a proof that I stand no chance if I attack you. Without general Mattias, I am in disadvantage to operate such an action.”  

Every monarch dropped their jaw. Elsa smiled at Anna’s wisdom, and if she wasn’t keeping her serious attitude for the conference, she would have cried.

Anna then pushed everything further with another promise.

“I also engage myself to give all the resources of Arendelle you might need right away.”

A round of gasps and mutters went across the table. Whispers came from advisors to rulers and back.

Elsa hurried to Anna’s ear, taking advantage of the jumble it had created to speak.

“Anna, you can’t be serious. Your people need those resources.” Panicked the blonde with wide eyes. “You can’t do that.”

The redhead placed a hand on hers as she was holding to the arm of her chair to bend to her.

“Don’t worry. I did the math the night before last.” Murmured back Anna. “It’s a solid plan. Trust me.”

Elsa stared at her for a moment, then smiled. “Okay.”

Anna smiled back, and her expression turned back to serious as she looked at the leaders again.

“What do you think?” Inquired the Queen to the council.

“This is a colossal statement, Your Majesty.” Puffed a King.

“It is indeed.” Smiled Anna, slightly sarcastic. “I let you think about it.”

As the leaders all mumbled about it again, she gave a quick look at Mattias, who approved her speech with a smile and a nod. Elsa looked down at her younger, whose eyes were sparkling with intelligence and determination. She had prepared everything. Elsa’s heart filled with pride to call her her sister.

She bent to her sister once again.

“Wait... If Mattias isn’t at your side as you travel back to Arendelle...”

Anna turned with a smile.

“I’ll come back with you, remember? I don’t risk anything.”

Elsa smiled widely.

The King of Blómvegr cleared his throat for everyone to quiet, and spoke to everyone. “I think Queen Anna convinced us all. It is a one of a kind time, and it calls for special measures. I agree with you, Your Majesty.”  

Anna gave him a thankful nod.

“I also agree to mobilize the army of my kingdom and share its resources.” Announced the King of Bjargland.

“King Isak and I also follow that movement.” Stated the King of the Southern Isles, after a quick look at his ally.

The Queen of Ellriheimr held her chin as she thought.    

“You are certainly right. As long as we cannot predict the progress of this storm, our kingdoms should help each other out.”

The King of Mosiland slammed his hand on the table, a bit too heavily, and everyone startled. “Alright, I join my kingdom to do the same process as well.”

The remaining monarch, of Efstfold, seemed convinced now that his seatmate had picked a side. “I join the movement.”

Elsa and Anna got flabbergasted by how fast they reticent monarchs had changed their decision. Mattias, however, wasn’t surprised. Anna’s persuasion power was always impressive. Once, she managed to pressure him enough to wear a hat as he was about to have a walk with Halima. Despite him finding the hat ridiculous, she used the right arguments, and less than ten minutes later, he was at the store buying it. Halima hadn’t detached her eyes from him for the whole stroll, and it had been a milestone in their relationship. He couldn’t have thanked her enough. On another thought, Mattias noted that without Anna’s tenacity and assurance, Elsa’s life journey would certainly have been different.

Little by little, all leaders had accepted to join the treaty, and when the King of Hitiheimr asked for voters to manifest themselves, all rose their hands in favor. The host took in the fact they all agreed with his role of witness. He stood up happily.  

“Then the decision has been taken unanimously! All Kingdoms will help wherever the need arises.”

As everyone clapped with diplomatic smiles, Anna couldn’t believe her eyes. She was the ghost of herself as she forced her face into a royal one and applauded along, doing all she could to not cry right then. She felt Elsa’s hand on her shoulder, squeezing there. Her sister was as emotional as she was.

They had made it! They had made a peaceful and assisting treaty based on mutual aid! The redhead gulped. How many times has she dreamed about this moment happening since she became Queen more than ten years ago? She felt like she should have done a bucket list to have the joy of crossing that line out with all her might.

“Alright. The meeting is over. Thank you all, Your Majesties, ladies and gentlemen, for your vivid participation.” Smiled the King of Hitiheimr.

He turned to the redhead. “Thank you especially, Queen Anna. Your dedication and honesty truly make this country stand.”

Anna blushed slightly, and Mattias and Elsa had a proud nod of agreement. The Queen masked her blush with a smile and a bow.

“Thank you, King Isak. But you’re the one keeping it together.”

A silence passed as they all nodded.

“That’s right.” Said the Queen of Ellriheimr. Thank you for your hospitality and your time.”

They all left in good terms, slowly exiting the room and shaking hands or bowing. Elsa felt intense warm in her soul at the sight, and the magic coldness calmed a bit in her veins.

=======

A hand slid in Anna’s as she walked in the corridor. She was used to this specific touch, and turned with a smile before even seeing her sister’s face.

“Thank you for defending me during the meeting.” Smiled Elsa tenderly. “Recently, I started doubting of myself and my capacities as the Fifth Spirit.”

Anna held her sister’s hand tightly.

“I’ll always defend you from anyone who aims to demean you, Elsa. And by the way, that means you too if you continue to depreciate yourself, young lady.”

Her expression had switched from loving to scolding, and they had suddenly stopped in the hall. Elsa bit her lips in a faulty manner.

“Because, seriously? Do you hear what you say?” Exclaimed Anna. “How can you doubt of your skills, when earlier, you literally have made water levitate from your body?”

A smile stretched the blonde’s lips.

“You’re right.”

“Damn right I am.”

They chuckled.

“You shouldn’t swear here.” Giggled Elsa, looking around them like the Hitiheimr castle was a sacred place.

The sisters kept laughing, and Mattias walked to them. Anna’s behavior changed when he was near, and the elder noticed that her face was covered with worry.

“Sorry for being this dramatic during the meeting. I didn’t intend to throw you into the fire like that.”

The man chuckled. “It was fine. You did well. It was exactly like we planned.”

Elsa’s jaw dropped, and she smiled. “You two planned that? Oh, of course you did.” She then comically slapped her forehead. “You two will never stop amazing me.”

Anna looked at her general.

“Mattias, is it okay if we leave now?”

“It’s perfectly fine, Your Majesty. I will handle things here. I’ll be of great help in the management during the crisis.”

The sisters smiled at his anticipation. The soldier grinned.

“Also, may I add, it was an excellent meeting. You lead admirably. And you have a remarkable sense of improvisation as well.”

Anna smirked and shove him gently on the arm.

“When will you stop complimenting me for little things, Mattias?”

He smiled. “I’m afraid I’m unable to stop since I saw you destroy the dam that day.”

Elsa put a hand on her little sister’s shoulder. “That was impressive, Anna. I agree with him. You were incredible, and everyone got speechless!”

“Well, one or two Kings couldn’t stop criticizing me, but... I’m not gonna cite their names.” Giggled the Queen.

An hour later, the servants prepared their horses, and Elsa made sure that Rask agreed to ride over this soon. To the stables staff astonishment, the stallion had a lot of energy and was even very enthusiastic to have an epic ride with Elsa again. She giggled, and the redhead tied her heavy fur coat, she looked at Elsa’s equipment, which had been reduced to the bare necessities.

“You really did fast, uh? Just a bridle. Thankfully, your horse doesn’t seem to mind. Hey, did you at least warn Kristoff that you were leaving Arendelle in a hurry??”

Elsa bit her lip. “No.”

Anna’s face stretched in shock, and the blonde hurried to correct herself.

“But I sent him an ice statue message just earlier! I told him we’re both alright and that we’re making our way back home.”

Anna sighed. “Okay.”

Elsa’s azure blue eyes seemed to still be marked with the panic that had rose in her when she saw Anna’s crown lost in the night.

“How do you feel?” Asked the younger, her voice melting to a soft level.

The Snow Queen turned to her. That tone could make her burst to tears instantly because of how warm and caring it was, and with her tiredness, she was close.

“I... I thought I had lost you. And... I feel like if something happens to you in that storm, it would be my fault.”

“Elsa, don’t say that. It’s not your fault at all.”

“You’re right. Not directly. It indirectly is my fault. Because of me, people are in danger every d—”

A finger had sealed her lips to be shut, and she startled at the gesture. Anna sighed, her arm stretched.

“I suppose that if I tell you one more time that you’re not responsible, you won’t believe me. So, hear me out, sis.”

She took her finger off Elsa’s lips, and the blonde was attentive.

“Even if you were the culprit, and I were injured, I would not be resentful. If you can’t counter it, why would I be angry at you?”

Elsa let out a noise that was a mix of a wet gasp and a relieved whimper. It was like all stress had lifted her soul, all weight had been taken off her shoulders, and she let them fall in a sigh.

A smile appeared at the corner of her lips.

“You’re so comprehensive. Sometimes I wonder what kind of miracle allowed me to have you as my sister.”

Anna smirked. “You should ask Ahtohallan. That’s what the Bridge is all about, I suppose.”

After they exchanged a smile, the redhead bent her head.

“Hey, are you sure you don’t want to take a break before we go back to Arendelle?”

“No, I told you, I’m fine.”

“And I told you to stop lying to make me happy. I know you haven’t slept last night as you were hurrying to check on me.”

“You know me two well, it’s unfair.” Muttered Elsa.

Anna pretended to not have heard that. Her elder gave up.

“Okay, we’ll stop to make a camp on the day. The night will fall on our journey back anyway. Do we have a deal?”

“Definitely.” Grinned Anna, who won everything in this situation; Elsa’s health, and a night of ice hut camping under the stars with a transparent roof to stare at them like Elsa always made them.

The horses were brought, and they mounted them before going in the strong wind. They made their way out of the castle after thanking everyone.  

At one of the windows of the towers, Mattias looked at them riding away. The King of Hitiheimr approached with a smile.

“They are unstoppable, aren’t they?” Admired the monarch.

The general grinned with a nod.

“Yes, sir. They truly are.”

[wafflewarriors]

The Not-So French Mistake

Chapter 4: Siege of Sunshine

Sam was going solo in his search for water. There were several people gathered around the local market, but a boy who looked to be in high school was the most attentive of the group.

Sam asked him: “What’s going on?”

“We can’t get in,” the teenager panted, fanning his face in a vain effort to cool himself. His cheeks were flushed rosy and sweat trickled down his nose, while visibly straining to remain strong for the townsfolk. “The doors are melted shut.”

“Melted?” Sam’s gaze darkened and he stared at the storefront. It was a metal door; melting such would have required extreme equipment, but there it was, a puddle of molten metal pooling on the sidewalk, which took thousands of degrees to heat up. There was something very wrong here.

“All right…” He searched for another way in. Upon finding one, he announced, “Everyone cover your eyes!”, and he proceeded to kick the window down with the point of his boot. The impact had the glass collapsing onto the tile of the market with a glittery shatter.

Sam wiped at the sweat building into beads along his forehead and swept his hair behind his ears. His gaze met the long-missed treasure among the town: bottled water.

He beckoned for the teenager to follow him into the store and marched up to the fridge which had remained a relieving, frigid temperature. “What’s your name?” he asked the teenager sincerely.

“Caleb.”

Sam snatched a few bottles from the shelf and shoved an armful into the teen’s chest. “All right, Caleb. I need you to hand these out to the people outside. Everyone. Yourself as well. Only allow small sips though; you don’t want to shock their system.”

The boy nodded in appreciation, gripping the load and rushing outside to deliver the vital supplies.

Sam took his own bundle, half-dashing toward the crumpled figure of Sydney and a hovering Castiel. He distributed the water to nearby individuals and lingered as the angel persuaded Sydney to drink. “Are you..?” he began to ask, but his question fell short. It was rhetorical; of course she wasn’t okay. Nobody here was.

Digging into his pocket, Sam seized his phone and dialed. The automatic voice answered tauntingly, and there was a long beep. “Bobby,” he said urgently as he eyed Sydney, who was rousing. “There is something really wrong. Dean had to take a few people to the hospital because of heat stroke. It’s bad down here. Call me when you can.” Sam hung up, and a gnawing sensation lit his gut in worry. “He said he was watching the phones,” he murmured. Something was wrong.

Sydney was slow to rise to her feet, but eventually, she achieved such. While rocky on her toes, she was persistent. “Sam, Cas, go for Bobby. He could be in serious trouble. I’ll keep supplying the water. Dean said he would be back soon, right? I’ll be fine.”

Sam and Castiel shared a skeptical look,  but Sam nodded. “Just don’t get into trouble and keep yourself hydrated. I’ll call Dean, so if he doesn’t meet you here, there’ll be a search party. Don’t let it get to that. Trust me, we’re efficient.” He inspected his pockets until he recovered a phone and handed it to her. “There. I always have a spare phone on me. Call us if anything unusual happens.”

With that, the pair withdrew to scavenge for a working car to hijack, which was rather difficult, considering half of their wheels had melted. Sam did the math, and it took roughly a thousand degrees  of heat to melt rubber wheels, mind you, while the air around then only ranged around a hundred or so.

This was undoubtedly their kind of gig.

After they had hijacked the closest vehicle in the shade, Castiel was first to speak. “You believe she will stay?”

Sam snickered at the concept. “Uh―no. That’s why I implanted a tracker on the phone. Dean can locate it, too. Comes in handy during hunts gone wrong and runaway friends, you know?” He could recall a few cases it had been convenient.

In a normal circumstance, they would have let her leave, willingly. However, they didn’t know the angels’ beef with her, nor did she have any family she could contact, and as a teenager, that was hazardous. They weren’t going to release her knowing perils that lay ahead of her, or worse, unknowing.

Castiel dipped his head with a drained smile. “You’re rather deceptive, Sam.” It was a compliment. A second later, a whiny protest originated from the angel’s lower abdomen. Cas’s reaction was a priceless mix of shock and dismay.

Sam laughed, “I think your stomach disagrees. Don’t worry, I plan on getting you some food before we search for Bobby. We can’t have you going on nothing. What do you think about having a burger?”

“I would like that.”

Sam appreciated the spell of time gifted to him with the angel. He admired Castiel, but even more, he envied Dean. How couldn’t he? His brother had been gifted a best friend from heaven, and all Sam had ever earned were a few filthy comments depicting him as ‘the boy with the demon blood’, as if he had been a flea hitching a ride on a demonic bloodhound. Looking back, Sam could only visualize himself in that exact foul and impure way. He had been disgustingly feral, and such a betrayal should not have been pardoned. While Sam had been delusioned, he had ignored the pleas of his family, and there was no excuse for that.

Sam envisioned what still-angel-Cas would have said if he had listened in on Sam’s dark musings. ‘Do not dwell on the past, Sam. You have long been forgiven by the Lord.’ Yeah, that seemed about right. Sam had always disliked when Castiel tuned in on his mind, but he was correct; Sam had built a surrounding nest of his own self-loathing. While cozy for a time, the twigs were beginning to rot and decay, and eventually, Sam would need to wrestle away from his comfort-zone and stoop to the ground to build a new nest. Metaphorically.

Castiel had never endorsed in Sam’s attempts of diversions from his self-hatred. It was no wonder he got along with Dean; he was just as stubborn.

Sam recalled their past conversations. ‘Sam, you are no idiot, you are far from pathetic, and you most certainly will not lose me as a friend.’ The angel had been taken aback by such dark contemplations that had lurked within Sam’s mind.

‘Quit knocking around in my head, Cas.’ He had been defensive.

The angel had cast a brooding look of empathy to his tall companion and had replied gently, ‘They were very loud, angry thoughts, Sam. Angered and distressed natured thinking is… similar to covering your ears at a rowdy concert; I can't―fully omit them. I had not meant to invade your privacy, as you say. However, they were not true to any extent. I would not lie to you.’

Sam actually livened at the positive memory. He would always be encouraged by the humble consolation he had received from Cas, whether or not the angel knew such. It eased his conscience knowing his brother and Castiel, an angel, would eternally forgive his unforgivable, repetitive lapses of error. Sam felt lighter in his seat.

Snapping out of his bout of daydreaming, he balanced his attention from the road to fishing out his mobile phone and swiftly panning through his contacts until it highlighted Dean. After nearly swerving into a sharp turn sign, he handed it to Castiel. “Could you call Dean?”

Cas took the device, thankfully and sufficiently experienced enough with cellular devices to press call, and put the phone to his ear.

The wavering ringtones rang for three beats before cutting out into Dean’s voice, “Sam? You all right?”

“Hello, Dean.” The angel greeted.

The connection was fuzzy, static buzzing behind Dean’s voice. He was tentative. “Cas? Where’s Sam? He okay?”

Sam glued his eyes to the road and spoke clearly, so the phone picked him up. “I’m here, Dean. Bobby never answered the phone so Cas and I left to check on him.” Sam dreaded this part; this was the moment Dean would realize the missing chunk of information.

There was that expected delay. “…where’s Sydney?”

“Still in town… helping.”

“Sam!”

Sam rushed to defend his actions, “Hey, I gave her my spare phone so we can track her and she can call. You think I trust her to follow through? You know I’m not that careless.”

A low grunt fizzled through the speakers. Steely eyes and a murderous tick in his jaw: it was undoubtedly decorating Dean’s face. After a pause, Dean’s voice sounded through again. “Cas, did you get anything to eat?”

Cas put the phone to his mouth in impulse. “Soon, I will get a burger.”

“Good for you, buddy.” A static rustle signaled that Dean was in motion. “All right. Well, I got them to the hospital; they should be fine now.” Muffled padding of feet crackled on the other end. “The sun quit it’s antics about a half-mile back..”

Sam nodded. “ I think there’s a radius set around the town, so the sun only has its full strength there.”

"Yeah, whatever, dork.” Dean said.

“This is good, Sam,” Cas intoned. “This means the sun has not been harnessed to its full potential.”

“Yeah, or it’s being directed toward something.”

Dean sandwiched the phone between his shoulder and ear as he fiddled with his keys to the Impala. He elbowed the door open and slumped into the driver’s seat. “Then we have an official case.”

Sam considered it, “According to the location of Bobby’s phone, he was taken pretty far out. I doubt his absence was a coincidence.”

“No, never is.” Of all the cases they had self-employed themselves to, there were never coincidences―never two clashing supernatural beings occupying separate hauntings in the same compass to create ‘coincidences’. They knew that much. Each monster had their own niche, their own job and purpose, and if two overlapped territories, they generally drove the other out.

“I’m worried they’re trying to lead us away from the fight, Sammy. Lure us out with Bobby as the bait.” Dean ignited the engine, “I’ll go get her; you get Bobby. You at least found some water back in the town, right? It’s like a desert there.”

“Yes,” Cas assured him, cupping the phone with both hands. They had taught him how to hold a phone, right? Sam recalled having done so. Twice.

“Good.” Dean cruised, coasting along the asphalt road, his mind at peace. Scenery rolled on by; trees whisked, shrubbery barreled in a variance of green lines, and clouds flew past like saucers. “Good. Call me when you find Bobby.” Blip.

Sam offered an open palm for the phone and pocketed it once in his possession.

“Do you often track your friends?” Castiel was merely curious.

“Heh, well… we rarely keep friends long enough to do that, most of the time.” Sam set his jaw to mask his inner heartsickness. “But, yeah. Um, Dean and I keep tabs on him. He juggles all of our messes without batting an eye, so we always felt we should do the same.” He kept his facial expression solemn.

Cas reflected on that. “I suppose that is the cost of your profession. I have no desire to believe you deserve such, though.” From observing the Winchesters dark and unpleasant daily lives, Castiel had concluded that a hunter’s life was the cruelest and most unfair career a man could undertake. Every hardship had Sam and Dean sacrificing blood, sweat, and tears.

It took a considerable amount of elbow grease and straining to solve the predicaments Castiel’s brothers had abandoned and left for the Earth to suffer. The consequences that the angels should have endured had befallen onto humanity. To Castiel, that was the most cheating and dishonorable way to serve God: to ditch your troubles onto broken, righteous souls only to shield your own selfish life.

To say he respected the Winchesters was a grand understatement. He was honored to serve them and was repeatedly awed by their will to save and protect among strangers. They risked everything, expecting no payment in return, or worse, expecting negative consequences. Castiel reminded himself of this whenever he questioned his alliance with the hunters and their quest to liberate the world from evil. Cas owed them everything; they had showed him the privilege of freedom and how to fight for it.

Not once had Dean refused giving his service and aid. He would abandon his dreams and wishes to fight in a war he had not started. With no hesitance! All Dean had ever longed for was a family, and all Castiel had ever wanted to do was to grant him such a pure desire.

Something within Castiel fumed at heaven and his father. Why must life be so corrupt? For what reason can’t those who do good earn good? He didn’t understand why Dean had accepted that so easily. Didn’t the Winchesters understand they deserved the world?

His clenched hands naturally twisted into his lap as he seethed. He looked to Sam, anticipating confirmation in Sam’s eyes, but he only looked sad. Oh, he remembered sullenly; he had forgotten humans could not read thoughts, and neither could he, any longer. However, by the pinch of Sam’s lips, Cas could tell the thoughts were self-loathing. The angel shrunk instantly, anger having vanished.

Perhaps, they do not understand their worth. Not yet.

Sam hovered his foot over the break, observing the new atmosphere. They had entered an urban town. It was contemporary, each townhome resembling the following, with a few individual components added for personality.

It was welcoming, and to Castiel’s delight, a congenial diner stood a few blocks away.

Tags: @queen-bubble, @rosaren2498

[kidinruin]

All You’d Ever Wanted // Bartender!Shawn

Summary: You and Shawn have liked each other for a while now, but you’re not sure going out with him is such a good idea. He’ll do anything to be able to take you out, even if it takes a few friendly arm wrestling matches to win you over.

Word Count: 4.2K

Warnings: Some mild swearing

A/N: This was very loosely based off this ask. Of course I was also inspired by Shawn’s recent bartending stint in Budapest (rip me because I’m pretty sure that kid slayed me and brought me back to life three times over that night). I’ve never written a fic in my entire life, so I apologize if this is shit. Who am I kidding, it’s just 4.2K of pure garbage. Enjoy if you dare.

The noise is almost deafening when you entered the bar. You took a deep breath and grinned, taking in the familiar surroundings. You admired the gathering of bodies around the round chipped wooden tables, the white string lights that made you abandon all hope of having any sort of decent lighting, and of course, the curly-headed bartender that was too busy wiping down the bar to notice you had arrived. Those were the little things that made visiting this place feel like coming home.

You didn’t usually drink alone, but you had just finished a rather stressful work week and you’d be damned if you weren’t going to knock a few back before going home and passing out. Of course you knew that walking into a bar solo on a Friday night probably wasn’t the most brilliant life choice you’d ever made, but you’ve been frequenting this little dive bar ever since you were in college, and you knew the regulars quite well.

You returned the chorus of greetings that sounded as you made your way to the bar with a smile and a series of enthusiastic waves. The establishment’s friendly atmosphere is something that you’ll never get tired of, no matter where your life takes you.

You locked eyes with the bartender who had finally noticed your arrival as you waded through the maze of regulars. You went and parked yourself on your usual stool, unable to deny the thrill that ran through your body when you commanded his undivided attention. The confident smirk that had been living on his face as he watched you saunter up to the bar transitioned to that beautiful smile he always seemed to reserve for you. 

You wanted to kiss him, wanted to press your lips to his and replace that lovely expression with one of pure wonder and adoration. But he wasn’t yours, so you wouldn’t.

“So what’ll it be, Hot Shot?” you dramatically rolled your eyes at his question, any connection between the two of you instantly lost. Teasing you was one of his favorite pastimes, and on any other night you’d humor him, you really would. Unfortunately, your need to get drunk and relax tonight greatly outweighed your desire to indulge in mindless flirtations with the hot bartender that you’ve known for years.

“Shawn, I said it before and I’ll say it again. I’m hardly any more successful than anyone else here,” you explained, albeit a little condescendingly. You were an administrative assistant for a well-known production company, hence the paperwork mountain that’ll be greeting you bright and early Monday morning. You’d hardly call it glamorous.

He furrowed his brows at your tone, and you regretted speaking to him that way. You wanted to reach out and smooth the space between his eyebrows with your thumb, let him know that you didn’t mean to be an asshole and that you just really, really wanted to get hammered. You extinguished the thought almost as soon as it surfaced within your mind.

Before you could even begin to find the courage to apologize, Shawn started to speak, “I wouldn’t sell yourself short. I’ll bet there’s not one single person here who wouldn’t kill for a position like yours. Too bad they have no idea that you’re already the best person for the job.” Jesus, this guy was way too nice to you. Sure the two of you had known each other for years, but that doesn’t excuse your behavior.

“Yeah? What makes you say that?” you questioned, knowing full well that Shawn would dismiss any of your attempts at an apology.

“I just do. Call it a sixth sense or whatever,” he replied with a sheepish grin and an animated wave of his hand. You were glad you hadn’t gravely offended his livelihood and all, but you could tell he wanted to say more, to compliment you even further when you knew you didn’t deserve it. He was always giving you that special attention, coupled with secret glances when he thought you weren’t looking. Truthfully, it was a nice change of pace from his blatant flirting. Then again, it wasn’t like you really minded any of the attention, covert or not.

You chuckled softly and shook your head as you ordered a simple rum and coke, brushing off Shawn’s attempts to get you to try something new for a change. You fell silent after you thanked him for the drink he had made for you. Eventually, he turned back to focus on cleaning the spill your arrival had pulled his concentration from in the first place. 

You sipped your coke and observed him as he worked. Trying to stay as nonchalant as possible, you absolutely reveled in the fact that it was now your turn to give Shawn your undivided attention.

You thought it was interesting how a guy like him had ended up settling in your Midwestern town. The two of you had gone to college together, and he was an international student hailing from Toronto. That fact alone had always made you wonder how in the world he ended up here. It wasn’t like the music education program he had graduated from was particularly groundbreaking or prestigious. Just wanted a change of pace, he always answered whenever you’d asked. You had trouble believing that a guy like Shawn was destined for nothing but small town life. Regardless, he chose to stay in this college town, and he absolutely loved his job teaching music at the high school. He really only landed the bartending gig last summer in order to make some extra money while school was out. Imagine your surprise as you strolled into the place with your friend about a year ago to find Shawn grinning at you from behind the bar. You swore it must’ve been the work of some higher power.

You thought it was funny how this bar lead the two of you back to each other. You had been such close friends during your time in school, used to hang out with the rest of your friend group at the table situated next to the window overlooking the river. That very same table where you realized that maybe you liked Shawn as more than just a friend. It was such a shame the real world didn’t really leave much time for reminiscing with old friends after you graduated.

You supposed the two of you could’ve dated at some point if you wanted to, but the timing was never right. You were always too busy, he already had a girlfriend of his own, and so on. To be honest, you didn’t even think he was all that into you until you guys reconnected last summer. The lingering touches and glances, the constant offers of free drinks, and the special smile that was reserved only for you were a recent development. Despite this fact, one thing was obvious. He was sweet on you and everyone knew it.

You watched Shawn flit around the bar and interact with his customers as you mused over the second rum and coke he had handed you minutes ago without a word. He was like a ray of light wherever he went, always checking up on people, always going out of his way to make sure the customers were satisfied. That was Shawn for you, always giving.

You watched as he suddenly stumbled over the bulky boots he always wore, making the people near him chuckle. You always told him they were impractical. Maybe he’d finally listen.

Shawn apologized to the lady whose chair he grabbed to avoid face planting with a shy smile.  He looked in your direction just in time to see you turn your entire body towards him. You snorted and raised your glass in a toast before downing its remaining contents. His cheeks were rosy with embarrassment as he walked towards you, careful not to trip over his feet again. Good, you thought, you liked that he was the one who was blushing for a change.

“I wasn’t expecting a drink and a show tonight, Mendes,” you teased, poking Shawn in his broad, muscular shoulder. You had gotten slightly tipsy and the liquid courage made you bolder than usual. You normally weren’t so tactile with Shawn, but you couldn’t help it when he was standing so close to you, all tall, dark, and handsome.

“I believe the expression is dinner and a show,” he countered, any lingering trace of embarrassment replaced by his usual cocky grin. Despite the façade of smugness, you noted the nervous twitch in the side of his mouth, the hesitance when you looked into his eyes. “I mean, I can give you that…dinner, I mean. If you want?” You were shocked by his words to say the least. Sure, Shawn constantly flirted with you. Sure, you were guilty of the same. But he had never acknowledged out loud that your relationship ran any deeper than mindless flirtation. It was jarring, really, but in a good way.

You stared into his kind eyes for what felt like an ungodly amount of time and pondered his question. You saw the hesitance that previously took up residence on his face morphing into relief. Relief that he had finally laid all his cards on the table, that he had set the scene, and the ball was now in your court.

No amount of cliché metaphors could have prepared you for when Shawn placed a tattooed hand against the bar behind you and leaned in close. You shivered when you felt his warm breath against your ear, couldn’t control the gasp that left your lips as his free hand made its way to your thigh and gripped it firmly, like it had a mind of its own. He spent a few moments gazing at the side of your head, willed you to look him in the eye, but you refused. The tension was thick between the two of you, and your eyes fluttered shut in a feeble attempt to relieve any inkling of it. You couldn’t let him touch you like this, couldn’t let him get too close. You wanted to get away. You couldn’t.

Relief of the tension that you so desperately desired came when his hand left your thigh. Unfortunately, the feeling was short-lived when Shawn gently grasped your chin and turned your head to face him, forcing you to return his intense gaze.

“You gotta know by now I’d do anything to see you smile, Hot Shot,” he whispered softly. Every instinct you possessed in your body told you to run. “What do you say? Have dinner with me?” His eyes fixated on your lips and you weren’t surprised by how badly you wanted him to kiss you in this moment. You would’ve let him, too, if you hadn’t finally come to your senses.

“Hmm, maybe another time,” you stammered quickly in a half-assed attempt to divert his attention for good. You swiveled around in your stool as fast as you could before you could observe his no doubt disappointed reaction.

You suddenly remembered you were sitting in a crowded bar, where any prying eyes could’ve witnessed the exchange between the two of you. You looked over your shoulder, careful to avoid catching Shawn’s gaze. When you decided that you weren’t the victim of any particularly dirty looks, you righted yourself on the stool once again.

One glance out of the corner of your eye told you that Shawn had already returned to his post behind the bar. He placed a third rum and coke down in front of you and you mumbled your thanks, evading any and all contact. You wished a hole would open up in the floor right about now and swallow you whole.

You knew you were being unreasonable. He obviously liked you. You liked him. If you were still in college, you’d be high off the adrenaline that came with finally setting up a date with the guy you wanted the most right about now. The fact of the matter was that you and Shawn had such a good thing going. You had gotten closer than ever since reconnecting, and you didn’t want to jeopardize that. Plus, you were so busy with work that you didn’t exactly have time for anything serious at the moment.

You knew deep down that you were just making excuses. You wished you had the courage to take that leap of faith. All you’d ever wanted was dangling right in front of you. You just needed to reach out and take it.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or are you going to make me guess what’s happening inside that pretty little head of yours?” he questioned, snapping you out of your self-deprecating thoughts. He was calm, cool, and collected, as if you hadn’t just rejected his advances in front of the entire bar. Your cheeks flushed a deep shade of red. Dammit why did he always get you to blush so easily?

You sincerely hoped you weren’t sporting a stupidly shocked expression on your face as you looked into his gorgeous hazel eyes for what felt like the hundredth time tonight. You pondered how this man could still care, even after you rejected him, looked him in the eyes and pretended like you haven’t wanted to be his since you were eighteen years old. In that moment, you decided to come clean and at least try to make things right. He deserved the truth.

You took a deep breath and began, “Look, Shawn, you know that I’ve liked you for a very, very long time. The thing is I’ve just been drowning at work lately.” Shawn frowned and you found yourself wanting to reach out and touch his forehead for the second time that night. You let go of any remaining inhibitions you might’ve had in that moment and did just that, once again forgetting about the very public setting the two of you were in. His eyes fluttered closed when you softly smoothed away the worry lines, and you willed him to show you that beautiful smile again. You didn’t like it when he was upset. “Every time I finish a task, it seems like three more show up in its place. It’s enough to make me feel like I’m drowning.”

You detested admitting your weakness, but Shawn always made you feel safe, like you could tell him anything and he wouldn’t judge you for it. You absentmindedly slid your hand down to cup his cheek. The simple, intimate action caused his eyes to snap open and marvel at you in disbelief. You didn’t blame him for his confusion.

You suddenly felt uncomfortable and scrambled to look anywhere but into those damn eyes. Your gaze traveled past his face, down the strong biceps exposed by the black tank top he wore, until you focused on the guitar that was permanently etched into his skin. The hand that was caressing his face moved to find a new home on his forearm, much to Shawn’s dismay. It was hard to ignore the calm that washed over the two of you as you traced the ink’s delicate outline over and over again.

“Plus, I don’t want to ruin our friendship,” you admitted after a few minutes of silence. You kept your eyes trained on the permanent guitar, worried about how he was going to react. Shawn chuckled loudly and pulled away, leaving you embarrassed and frankly a little confused.

“Is that the best excuse you could up with? You don’t want to ruin our friendship?” The disbelief on his face was almost comical. “Come on, Hot Shot. You know I’d never let anything get in the way of us, even if us dating didn’t work out. Nothing could ever ‘jeopardize our friendship’.” He threw up a set of air quotes at the end of his proclamation. 

“How could you possibly know that?” you inquired as you felt a wave of uneasiness wash over you.

“It’s that sixth sense,” he stated and tapped the side of his head, as if referring back to your earlier conversation required complex critical thought. Funny how that hour between then and now could be made to feel like ten years. In that moment you swore you saw his eyes light up, like a lightbulb had ignited within his brain. “Tell you what, name your price. Tell me what it is I have to do to get you to finally go out with me.”

“Shawn, just drop it,” you said, suddenly regretting ever coming out tonight.

“No, nope, you don’t get to try and drop me with that lame excuse. Not when I know you’ve wanted this just as much as I have,” he replied.

“No, really Shawn, it’s okay. I really would just like to go home,” you insisted and began to reach for your purse so you can pay for your damn drinks and get the hell out of there. Rummaging around in your bag thankfully provided a welcome distraction. You managed to prolong the action for several minutes before a warm touch at your elbow made you sigh in defeat.

“I’m waiting,” Shawn stated, tone impatient. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer, you realized when you heard him tapping his foot in those stupid boots he loved so much.

“Fine,” you said and desperately searched around the bar for anything that would get him to drop the subject. Your eyes landed on Dan, a regular you had known almost as long as Shawn. You smirked when an idea popped into your head and named your price, “I’ll go out with you if you challenge Dan over there to an arm wrestling match. Only if you win, of course.”

You were sure he’d find the idea ridiculous, brush you off and forget you even asked. Too bad you had forgotten that this was Shawn, and he’d do anything to get what he wanted.

“Okay, consider it done,” he stated confidently as he began to make his way out onto the floor once again. An adorable look of determination adorned his face when he approached Dan.

“Wh- Shawn I wasn’t being serious!” you shouted, scrambling to follow after him.

“Nope. I’m gonna do it,” he retorted, the ever-growing smirk on his face apparent.

“Shawn, this is ridiculous! You have to see that I was joking,” you protested. It was no use. He was determined to make this happen.

Shawn continued to ignore you for the duration of the short journey to where Dan was conversing with his pals. He sauntered up to the table, arms folded, clearly meaning business. Dan’s friends looked up at Shawn, confusion written all over their faces. Dan looked over his shoulder to determine the cause of their confusion only to find the bartender donning a serious look on his face.

“Well, well, well. What do we have here, Shawny Boy?” Dan questioned, clearly finding the situation comical.

“Hot Shot over here says she’ll let me take her to dinner,” Shawn explained. You saw the triumphant expression beginning to form on Dan’s face. It was no secret that he was rooting for the two of you since day one. Shawn continued, “But only if I can win in an arm wrestling match against you.”

Dan snorted and pretended to think it over in his head before he replied, “Alright, boy, I’ll arm wrestle ya. I’m not gonna go easy on ya though, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

“Of course, Dan. You know damn well I can’t properly win the lady’s heart if you just let me win,” Shawn stated in disbelief. He threw his hand over his heart, taking grave offense to the fact that Dan would even think of such a thing.

“Well then it looks like we got ourselves a regular old challenge!” Dan shouted for the rest of the bar’s occupants to hear. It wasn’t long before excited chattering filled the room and Dan’s buddies stood up to clear off the nearest unoccupied table.

You bit your lip and shifted nervously as you watched the two men take their places opposite each other. You couldn’t even bring yourself to shamelessly enjoy the flexing of Shawn’s arm muscles as he clasped onto Dan’s hand, aligning their elbows and getting into position. You should’ve just gone home, you thought. Passing out alone in your own bed surely wouldn’t have caused such a scene.

In that moment, as the two men prepared to wrestle, you decided to give it up. You realized Shawn would do anything for you, no matter how ridiculous the request. His tenacity and willingness to do the most absurd things finally donned on you. You determined that you needed to get over your misguided fear of losing his friendship right then and there. You knew he would always want you. He’d always find a way to have you, in any way, shape, or form.

You barely heard the crowd counting down the beginning of the match over the ringing in your ears brought on by your long overdue realization. You tried to pinpoint the exact moment when you had stopped denying it. Perhaps it was somewhere between leaving your barstool and arriving at Dan’s table, or maybe it was the second you sat down at the bar for the first time tonight. Regardless, you just wished you had caused less of a spectacle over it.

You watched as Shawn’s face twisted in concentration, biceps flexing even more than you thought possible with exertion. He was trying his hardest to win this, to win you. You didn’t know whether to burst into tears or a fit of laughter. You opted for neither and attempted to mask your regret at causing the whole ordeal.

The patrons didn’t mind though, and their excited chattering grew louder and louder any time either of the men came close to finishing it all. It came as no surprise when Shawn finally pressed Dan’s arm down onto the table, winning the makeshift match. As soon as he knew the win was in the bag, he sprang from his seat and took off around the bar on a mini victory lap, thrusting his fist in the air and high fiving anyone in sight. His happiness was infectious.

The crowd reformed to gather around the two of you as Shawn made his way over to where you were standing. You heard people shushing others as they watched the events unfolding in front of them.

“I suppose congratulations are in order,” you remarked. Shawn took an exaggerated bow, goofy grin in place. He looked into your eyes as he moved in closer, cupping the back of your head with his large hand. You knew what was coming. You could feel it in your bones. And this time, you were finally ready.

“Yeah well, you know I can do just about anything with the right motivation,” he murmured. He stood there marveling at you, hesitation to make the next move evident. You were confused at his sudden uneasiness.

You hastily decided to take matters into your own hands and yanked on the front of his tank top, closing the remaining distance between the two of you. You almost cried in happiness when your lips finally met his.

Shawn pulled you in closer, if that was even possible. You felt him smiling into the kiss when you wrapped your arms around his neck. This was home, you were sure of it. Nothing in your life had ever felt so right.

“Well it was about damn time,” Dan remarked. He had to shout to be heard over everyone else’s loud cheering.

Shawn pressed one last gentle kiss against your lips before responding, “Don’t have to tell me twice, Dan.” He turned his attention towards you and spoke, “So is that a yes? Will you finally go out with me?” You playfully smacked his shoulder and he laughed. It was music to your ears.

“Yes, Shawn, I will go out with you,” you beamed as you said it, threading your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “It’s been a long time coming, but yes, of course I will.”

Shawn smiled the smile that he only ever reserved for you, and wrapped his arms around you in a tight hug. You fit together perfectly, like the two of you were solely meant for each other. You pressed your forehead to his and closed your eyes one final time.

As you stood there, enclosed in Shawn’s embrace, surrounded by people who wanted the best for you, you couldn’t help but wonder what the hell you had just gotten yourself into. The funny thing was that the more you pondered, the less you cared. You had taken that leap of faith, reached out and took what was dangling right in front of you. You’d finally gotten all you’d ever wanted.

[lloydskywalkers]

Survivor Ninja!

Angst week took it out of me, so here's something less angsty to balance it out! This is partly the fault of watching Sharknado 3 at 2 am, and heavily, heavily inspired by a Voltron crack video that showed up on my dash, which was taken from The Try Guys Try Not to Die at Sea, or something. It's kind of crack, that's what I'm trying to say.

Takes place immediately after season 2!

"Da dum."

"Stop."

"Da dum."

"Stop it, Jay."

"Da dum da dum da dum da dum-"

"Jay!"

Jay ducks Kai's irritated smack, laughing. "Come on, you're not actually scared right now, are you?"

Kai scoffs, glaring at nothing in particular. "We're floating on a tiny, fragile, cheap piece of plastic in the middle of the ocean. Excuse me for being a little uncomfortable."

He certainly does look uncomfortable, huddled up in the middle of the raft, his arms wrapped around his knees as he glares at the ocean around them. "I hate this," Kai seethes. "I hate water. Water is the worst."

"Don't take it out on the water just because you can't swim," Nya says. Kai shoots her a venomous look of betrayal.

Lloyd frowns. "Weren't you gonna try to walk across the ocean back to Ninjago, when we were stuck on the Dark Island?"

"I had adrenaline then," Kai mutters. "It was life or death. This is just dumb."

"Aw, come on, it's not that bad," Jay offers, consolingly.

"Yeah, just boring," Lloyd sighs, flopping his head against the side of their raft, staring up at the cloudless sky.

"Stop that, you're gonna blind yourself," Cole says, putting a hand over Lloyd's eyes.

"Am not." Lloyd throws an elbow over his face in placation, though.

"Well, I'm having fun," Nya says, from where she's draped over the side, her legs hanging in the water, her head in Jay's lap. "This is the most relaxing training we've had in months."

"Speaking of, how did you weasel your way into this?" Kai says.

"That better not be a dig at me being part of the team," Nya glares at him. "Sensei Wu apparently thought I was necessary. Admit it. You guys would all die without me."

"Debatable," Kai mutters, while Jay agrees enthusiastically.

"Also, Sensei Garmadon still feels bad enough about the whole 'captured me and turned me into a brainless, purple-eyed minion' thing that all I really have to do is look at him and he'll let me do anything," Nya says, shrugging.

"Aw, he isn't like that with me," Lloyd whines. "And he swallowed me in a vortex of dark matter. And broke my ankle."

"Sprained," Zane supplies.

"It was broken when I got to the hospital!"

"That's because you ran up a skyscraper on it," Cole says helpfully.

Lloyd sticks his tongue out at him.

"We should probably start trying to find a way out of this," Zane says, attempting to reign them back in. "That is the mission objective, is it not?"

"I thought it was not to die in the middle of the ocean," Kai grumbles.

"No, we need to be trying to find a way back to the island," Lloyd sighs, finally sitting up straight. "It's been an hour already, we need to get moving."

This proves a problem, as none of them really have any idea where they were. Having been unceremoniously kidnapped from their beds early that morning, blindfolded, and dropped on a small raft in the middle of the sea, the most progress they've made so far is to complain about the general situation. They're off to a fairly rough start.

Kai eyes the note left by Sensei Wu cheerfully ordering them to "Find your way home!" in distaste. He'll bet anything this is Sensei Garmadon's fault.

"No powers, no Spinjitzu, no mechs," Jay says, dismally. "Face it, Lloyd. We're all hooped."

"C'mon, we can do this," Cole says, trying to inject some positivity into the conversation. "We trapped a giant snake on our own. We defeated the Overlord, for crying out loud!"

"No, you didn't," Kai says. "You got hit by purple goo and turned into a snarling nightmare two flights up Borg Tower."

"Oh, like you lasted much longer."

"I did! I didn't even get hit!"

"Oh yeah?" Cole sneers. "Then why'd Lloyd end up climbing all the way to the top by himself?"

"Which was totally not cool, by the way," Lloyd sulks.

"Hey, we tried, alright, it was an off day for us," Cole winces.

"Su-ure."

"Oh, come on, Lloyd," Kai says.

Lloyd huffs. "All I'm saying is that you better not leave me to face the big bad guy of the week all by myself again. It sucks."

"What, the golden ninja can't handle it?" Jay smirks.

"Nope."

"Geez, not even trying for subtlety there."

"I've been a ninja for like, what, a couple of months?" Lloyd throws his hands up. "And suddenly I'm supposed to be some invincible master? I'm still only like, fourteen-ish. Give me a year and then I'll be unstoppable."

"Technically, you're like ten-ish," Kai points out.

Lloyd narrows his eyes. "Fourteen-ish."

"Ten-ish."

"Fourteen-ish! Tomorrow's Tea counts!"

"Does it, though? Does it really?"

"It counts when it comes to being taller than Jay."

"You are not taller than me, you miniscule shrimp of a pipsqueak-"

"FSM help us, we are all going to die," Nya mutters.

"C'mon, guys, we're all exhausted, and tempers are high," Cole cuts in. "Fighting isn't going to help us any."

"Perhaps we would not be so tired if we hadn't stayed up so late watching movies," Zane says, innocently as always.

"Za-ane, you're not supposed to put the blame on us," Jay groans. "Pass it off to someone else."

"Words of a ninja, right there."

"Besides," Cole defends. "Attack of the Six-Headed Shark is a classic."

"In what world?" Nya says.

"Don't bring up sharks," Jay says. "You'll lure them to us."

Cole blinks. "You were literally singing the Jaws theme five minutes ago."

Jay waves him off. "That was to mess with Kai. Different case." He groans. "Ugh, now I'm thinking about it. This is exactly like the scene in Shark Frenzy 4."

"Just don't think about the sharks, then," Zane says.

"I can't help thinking about them!" Jay throws his hands up, glaring at Lloyd. "After someone made us watch all those dumb shark horror movies last night."

Lloyd shrugs innocently, making no comment.

"You knew," Kai suddenly says, his eyes narrowed on Lloyd. "You knew!"

"Knew what?" Lloyd says, even more innocently.

"You knew Sensei was gonna do something like this to us!" Kai accuses. "That's why you had us watch all those shark movies last night!"

"No, I didn't!" Lloyd defends himself as Jay gasps in wounded betrayal. "I just - okay, I had an idea, maybe, of what he was going to do." He glares at the raft. "I didn't know it was going to be this."

"You still knew," Kai glares at him.

Lloyd folds his arms. "It's not my fault you're scared of some dumb shark movies."

"Snotty brat."

"Arrogant jerk."

"Child menace."

"Spiky-haired hothead."

"Demon spawn."

"Okay, okay, enough," Cole sighs, as the two wrestle, Kai burying his knuckles in Lloyd's hair he cackles. "Does anyone have an idea of how to get back to land?"

He's ignored.

"Let him go, loser," Nya says, splashing water up on Kai with her foot. "Lloyd scaring us with shark movies is pretty tame, for him messing with you."

"I wasn't trying to scare you guys!"

"Uh-huh," Jay says, skeptically. "Then why'd you terrorize us with all those shark movies?"

"Maybe I picked all those shark movies because I like sharks," Lloyd folds his arms. "They're one of my favorite animals."

"Why?" Jay says, scandalized. "Why have you chosen aquatic death creatures as your favorite animal?"

"Your favorite animal is a rat, don't judge me!" Lloyd shoots back. "Besides," he inhales, getting the patented Lloyd-Look-of-Righteous-Justice on his face. "Everyone goes around trying to force sharks into this box of vicious murderers, painting them as bloodthirsty monsters with their shark prejudice, when sharks are actually just wildly misunderstood creatures trying to live the best shark lives they can, and-"

"Okay, National Geographic, chill out," Kai says, clapping a hand over Lloyd's mouth even as he grins in amusement. "There will be no shark murders today."

Lloyd shoves Kai's hand off, grumbling. "There better not."

"I didn't know you felt so strongly about sharks," Zane says, bemused.

"It's a metaphor," Jay tells him, in an obvious whisper. "Lloyd is expressing his feelings about past prejudice against his father and himself by channeling it into the defense of fishy teeth monsters."

"I am not," Lloyd scowls. "I just like sharks, that's all."

"I mean, if that's true, then what's that say about you and your passionate defense of rats?" Kai directs at Jay. "Do you too feel the urge to run around making a pest of yourself, squealing loudly at everything-"

Nya yelps as her head hits the raft, having been upset as Jay moves to tackle Kai.

"Guys, stop, you're gonna tip us over!"

"We're never going to make it back to shore," Zane sighs, sadly.

"Captain's log, day fourty-five lost at sea," Jay announces, a glazed look in his eyes as he hangs over the edge of the raft. "Morale is fading. We'll probably have to eat Kai soon to survive."

"Lloyd would definitely be first to get eaten," Kai says through a yawn. Lloyd shoves him.

"We're gonna need water before food," Nya says. "If we're actually trying to survive."

"Both of which we have none of," Cole fumes. "Nothing, we've got nothing in here!"

"The raft barely fits us, what'd you expect?" Kai says.

"I don't know, some kind of help!"

"It's my uncle, he likes to be funny like that," Lloyd says.

"Well its not very funny to me," Cole grumbles, sitting back down with a huff. Kai yelps as the raft is slightly upset in the water.

"Look, Cole, this assignment is ridiculous," Jay yawns. "We'd never end up in a situation like this anyways. Worst comes to worst, Lloyd can just fly us out on his dragon."

"But that would be cheating," Lloyd frowns.

"But we wouldn't be roasting out here?" Jay offers.

"Lloyd is right," Zane says, glaring at Jay. "We need to figure out how to get out of here without breaking the set rules. We're trained ninja - it shouldn't be too hard."

"I'm with Zane," Nya says, finally sitting up. "Okay, first things first - we need to actually figure out where we're going." She pauses, shielding her eyes with a hand as she looks out over the sea around them. "Does anyone have any idea what direction we need to head in?"

"Ask Zane," Kai sys. "He's the one with the built-in GPS."

"I have no such thing," Zane says, looking miffed.

"What do you mean, you don't?" Kai gapes. "You have everything!"

"I'm not a computer!" Zane snaps. "Besides, we were specifically banned from using any excess means to complete the training. That includes hacking into the nearest satellite or navigating system and using it to send a distress signal the nearest ship."

Zane looks disappointed by the time he's reached the end.

"Cheating, Zane," Jay says, trying tempt him. "Join the dark side…"

"Maybe…we can use the stars, or something?" Lloyd says, hesitantly. "I saw it in an episode of Starfarer once, you can follow certain ones home. Or something."

"Yeah, except it's the middle of the day, genius," Jay says.

"At least I'm trying!" Lloyd glares.

"We can use the sun, though," Cole says. "Which is, technically, a star. So good job, Lloyd."

"I got it." Kai frowns, shielding his eyes as he looks up. "Okay, so the sun is there, and it's heading there, so that direction must be east."

Nya looks at him. "No, it's heading in the other way," she points. "That way's west."

"Are you blind? It's clearly setting over there!"

"It's obviously moving that way-"

"No way!"

"Why dont'cha just stare at it for a bit, and see what way it moves."

"Lloyd," Cole chastises. Lloyd makes a face at him.

"Ungrateful, sassy child," Jay mutters. He sits up, taking a look himself. "Nya's right. The sun is setting that way, which means if we head in that direction, we should run into Ninjago. Eventually."

"Great," Lloyd says, squinting over the water. "So the island is that way, which means now we just have to reach it." He glances back at the rest of the team. "Did anyone bring a paddle?"

"While we were being captured and set adrift on this piece of garbage?" Kai mutters. "No."

Lloyd rolls his eyes at him. "How about, does anyone have anything we can use as a paddle?"

"Does Jay's head count?" Cole says, innocently. Jay makes an indignant sound.

"Seriously though," Cole says. "If two of us can plank for a bit, maybe we can-"

"Oh, for FSM's sake."

"Maybe we can all lean over the sides and like, paddle with our hands," Lloyd suggests.

"Or we could tie someone to the raft and they could pull it to shore?" Jay says. "I saw that on TV once, this girl rescued a whole raft of people by swimming them in."

"Okay, but who's pulling?" Cole narrows his eyes. "'Cause it better not be me."

"Unless we had sufficient tether, I don't believe we'd make it very far," Zane says. "This raft isn't built to be dragged by a single person. With our combined weight, we might risk tearing it."

"Ugh." Jay flops back over the side, his arms dragging in the water. "Maybe we should all just swim for it."

"Kai can't swim," Lloyd says. He yelps as Kai whacks him in the head.

"We could drag him along?" Jay says.

"I also do not believe it would be wise to leave our raft behind," Zane says. He looks over the gentle waves. "Did you know that approximately three hundred people drown at sea in Ninjago per year?"

Everyone gapes at him.

"Why would we need to know that?!" Jay yelps.

"That's only the unintentional ones, though," Zane adds, thoughtfully. "The intentional ones are outliers, I suppose."

"Prepare to be an outlier, Zane," Kai growls, attempting to stagger to his feet. He fails, the unstable bottom of the raft sending him stumbling into Nya, who nearly pushes him overboard for it.

Cole, who's been watching them in boredom, suddenly goes still. "Is that a shark?" he says, squinting at the water.

Kai immediately sits back down, drawing into the middle of the raft. "Nope, nope, nope."

Jay follows Cole's gaze, then gives a brief yelp. "It is, oh no, oh no-"

"Calm down, I'm sure it means us no harm," Zane says. "Sharks are not known to normally attack sea vessels, unless provoked."

Cole grabs one of the pliable rods that like the raft, pulling it out of the casing and hoisting it up like a spear. "I'll chase it off, just to be safe."

"No, you're going to hurt it!" Lloyd yelps, grabbing the rod away from Cole.

"It's a plastic rod, how am I going to hurt it with that-"

"Guys, look out-!"

In the sort of slow-motion that comes from the worst of the B-movie hour films, Cole and Lloyd wrestle themselves into the edge of the raft, crashing against the side and sending Lloyd toppling into the water.

Kai isn't even surprised.

"Oh no!" Jay cries, as Lloyd sputters in the water. "Quick! Pull him up before he's eaten!"

"Guys, I'm fine-"

"It's going to tear you limb from limb, just like that girl in the movie-"

"Guys!" Lloyd splashes water up on them, glaring at Jay. "I'm fine!" He swirls his hands around in the water for emphasis. Meanwhile, the shark swims beneath him, utterly uninterested. Lloyd gives Jay a superior sniff from where he's treading water.

"See?" he says. "They're harmless little fi-"

The shark turns in the water, moving steadily upwards toward Lloyd.

"-ishhhh pull me up! Pull me up!"

Kai grabs Lloyd's right arm and hauls him up as Cole does the same with his left, catapulting him back into the raft just as the shark reaches him.

"Harmless little fish, huh?" Jay smirks.

Lloyd crosses his arms. "Well, I'm not going to tempt fate. Destiny already has it out for me."

"Aren't they the same thing?"

"Don't ask me.

"Guys, don't look now, but it's circling back around," Nya says, squinting at the unmistakable shape of a shark fin knifing its way above the water toward them.

Kai turns the color of Zane's gi.

"Oh, FSM," Jay mutters. "This is just like that one movie, y'know, where it jumps up and eats their heads-"

"Look, if we just remain calm, it should leave us alone," Zane says, trying in vain to calm them down.

"I'm not taking that chance," Cole mutters. He pulls a knife out from his pant leg.

"Have you had that this whole time?" Nya stares.

"Yes! Cole! Stab it!" Jay yelps, tugging at Cole's gi from where he's clinging to Nya. "Stab the shark!"

"No!" Lloyd cries, tackling Cole by the legs. "Let it live!"

Cole wobbles precariously. "Guys, stop, I'm gonna-"

Cole trips sideways, falling hands-first against the raft. There's a sharp pop, followed by the hiss of escaping air.

The chaos is immediate.

"Cole!"

"You stabbed the raft, why did you stab the raft-"

"I didn't mean to!"

"Quick, it's deflating! Stop it!"

"How?!"

"Duct tape! Put duct tape on it!"

"Nobody has duct tape, genius-"

"The shark is back! It sensed our weakness!"

"No, no, we're sinking, no-"

"Kai, get off of me!"

"Sacrifice yourself for your older brother Lloyd, it's your duty."

"No!"

"You owe me for the fire temple!"

"Just put the life jacket on, dummy!"

"It clashes with my hair!"

"Are you kidding me-"

"Water! We're taking on water!"

"Bail it out, we might be able to save the-"

"Shark! Shark!"

"Oh no, no, we're all gonna die-"

"This is the worst idea Sensei Wu has ever had."

The ocean is quiet in the late afternoon sun, the waves calm as they lap gently against the ninja's sodden clothes and skin. None of them say anything, each floating in their various positions where they've tethered themselves together. Or, in Kai's case, where they cling to Nya, balancing carefully on two life jackets.

"Well," Jay says, breaking the silence. "We suck at this."

Cole groans. Zane trades looks with Kai, then they both turn to Lloyd.

Lloyd glances at them, and sighs.

"Yeah, okay, let's cheat."

The sun is just dipping below the horizon by the time Garmadon hears the trudging footsteps of his brother's students. He casts a glance heavenwards. It certainly took them long enough.

He feels a sharp flicker of relief when he catches sight of Lloyd's windswept blond hair. He immediately winces as he catches sight of his son's face. Right, he was supposed to give them sunscreen, wasn't he. Misako will have his head.

Garmadon is debating the merits of smothering Lloyd's face in Wu's healing tea before Misako can catch sight of it as the troop finally reaches the top of the monastery, dragging their feet up the stairs.

They're a sorry sight, if anything. If Garmadon had to name it, they rather resemble a collection of drowned rats who were mercilessly tossed into a laundry machine, their hair stuck up at awkward angles and stiff from salt. Sweat has collected on their brows, and Lloyd and Jay in particular are sporting truly blinding sunburns.

"I take it you survived the training?" Garmadon says, carefully.

There's a chorus of tired mumbling, a few groans of exhaustion.

"And? How was it?" he tries.

Kai gives a tired half shrug. Lloyd tries, but the sentence is so hopelessly mangled by a yawn that Garmadon really has no idea what his son's just said to him. Nya gives him a grudging thumbs up.

"It was okay," Cole mutters.

"Lloyd flew us out on his dragon," Zane says flatly, his voice booking no argument. He brushes crusted saltwater from his elbow, looking altogether done with the universe.

"Lloyd also almost got eaten by a shark," Jay yawns.

Garmadon sighs. He expected as mu-

"What?" he blinks, finally registering the last sentence.

"I did not," Lloyd moans. "It was a harmless creature of nature, dad."

"I - alright."

"Don't kill it, dad."

"I…wasn't going to?"

"Don't murder the innocent shark population, dad."

"…you need to rehydrate," Garmadon says, firmly guiding his son toward the monastery. "The rest of you, as well," he says, with a pointed look at them.

The most he gets is a few tired murmurs of agreement, and Kai mumbling something about stuffing himself in the refrigerator. Garmadon suppresses a snort of amusement as he drags Lloyd over to a kitchen stool, silently praying Misako doesn't come back any time soon.

"Sorry I cheated," Lloyd says hazily, as Garmadon presses a glass of water on him.

"It's alright," he says, failing to stop the snort this time as Lloyd misses his mouth, staring in confusion as the water splashes down on the counter. Lloyd shakes his head, redirecting the glass and draining it.

Lloyd leans his head against Garmadon's side, yawning. "Y'know, if I could be anything else, I think I'd be a shark," he says.

"Oh, would you?" Garmadon says, trying not to laugh.

"Sharks don't hav'ta fight the Overlord," Lloyd mumbles. Garmadon looks down, wincing.

"But then Kai couldn't be my brother, 'cause he can't swim," Lloyd continues. "So I guess I'm good."

"You are good," Garmadon says, quietly.

"Don't turn it into another morality lesson, dad," Lloyd yawns. "I think I'm lessoned out for the day."

Garmadon rolls his eyes heavenwards. "One day, you'll appreciate it," he says. "You know, someday, you'll be giving these lessons yourse-"

A snore from his side cuts him off. Garmadon glances down where Lloyd has passed out, half slumped on his side, half pressed against the kitchen counter.

Garmadon sighs, but he wraps an arm around his son, fondly.

Maybe he ought to go slightly easier on them next time. They did manage to pull off quite a victory with the Overlord, even if they apparently can't survive a simple day at sea. Garmadon shakes his head.

…now, how to best excuse this to Misako…

[woodworkingpastor]

Transformed minds -- Romans 12:1-8 -- August 30, 2020

The wise man built his house upon the rock,

the wise man built his house upon the rock,

the wise man built his house upon the rock,

and the rains came tumbling down.

 The rains came down and the floods came up,

the rains came down and the floods came up,

the rains came down and the floods came up,

and the house on the rock stood firm.

 The foolish man built his house upon the sand,

the foolish man built his house upon the sand,

the foolish man built his house upon the sand,

and the rains came tumbling down.

 The rains came down and the floods came up,

the rains came down and the floods came up,

the rains came down and the floods came up,

and the house on the sand went splat!

The Bible consistently puts forward two ways of living and asks us to make a choice.  Sometimes the metaphors are stark and are presented in terms that are as plain as day.

“Choose this day whom you will serve.”

“No one can serve to masters.”

The narrow gate vs. the wide gate

The hard path vs. the easy path

Other times the choice is put to us a bit more subtly, requiring us to think through the choice that is really being offered to us.

In Mark 8, Jesus tells the disciples to “take up their cross.”  The cross was reserved as the method of execution for political insurrection—those who refused to define their lives by the value structures of the nation and the culture, and were deemed to be a threat to the orderly functioning of society.  Taking up our cross involves risk.

At his arrest, Jesus tells Peter to “put away your sword…for all who draw the sword will die by the sword.” This is a command that persons in our faith tradition interpret as binding on us all because of another command Jesus made: “love your enemies.”  We can not hold on to both of these at the same time.

 In each case, the one who is doing the asking is warning us that there is a choice to be made.  Which way will we go? Which path will we follow?  Or, more directly, “Who is Lord?”

Paul’s words to the church in Rome are equally stark and clear.  After eleven chapters of wrestling with the great brokenness that exists between heaven and earth, and how that great brokenness has corrupted all things, and how Jesus came to bring us all back into right relationship with God, he now describes what this looks like in the day to day goings-on of the most real community the world can ever know: the church.

Let’s allow that to sink in for a moment: Jesus intends the church to be the most real community on earth. Among the many things we love about our congregation, we can add this to it: that as our minds are transformed by the Holy Spirit, we become a forgiving community of forgiven sinners, extending to others the same mercy, grace, and forgiveness that Jesus has offered to us. And in doing that, we become an anticipation of the age to come, a congregation that embodies the reign of Christ in the here and now.

It seems somewhat ridiculous to say that this morning, out here and online, exiled from our sanctuary.  But it is the truth.  This is as real as it gets, and it becomes the motivation for Paul finding yet another way of presenting to us the great choice that must be made when he tells us that our calling is to put our lives on the line for one another:

Present your bodies as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1)

That is an unusual way to put it, because when we think of religious sacrifices we normally think of their death. Something in the giving up of life provides satisfaction to the gods to appease their anger or ward off disaster or achieve some other desirable outcome.

But in the faith tradition of Jesus, the sacrifice is experienced in our living, not in our dying.  Not everyone believes this.  They might not say it out loud, but a lot of people practice a ghostly, disembodied faith either by waiting around until they die so their soul can go to heaven, or by believing that the misdeeds of our body are excusable matters or understandable indiscretions.

Paul reminds us that our faith is lived out through the very activities of our bodies—the things we do and say; the things we don’t do and don’t say, the places we go, the places we don’t go.  Every moment, every choice, every encounter is an opportunity to demonstrate our commitment to Jesus.

We come from a long faith tradition that values the living out of our faith as a top priority. One of the interesting ways this shows up is in the very first hymn of our hymnal. When the Brethren and Mennonites got together in the late 80’s and early 90’s to publish a new hymnal, the choice for the first hymn proved to be difficult.  A lot of thought goes into what will be hymn #1 in a hymnal, apparently.

As the story was told to me, the hymnal committee struggled a bit to find just the right hymn to be #1.  And then they came across a hymn they hadn’t seen before: What is this place. Consider the words, of verses 1 and 3.  You begin to sense that church is more than just bricks and mortar and windows and pews, don’t you?  The real beauty of this hymn (in my opinion) is captured in verse three.  It turns out that What is this place is a communion hymn:

The bread and the cup is a living sign that becomes embodied in our lives as we give and receive justice and peace.  In his book Reading Romans Backwards: A Gospel of Peace in the Midst of Empire, Scot McKnight says it this way:

Christian sacrifice is an embodied way of life offered to the invisible but ever-present God. What they do is their sacrifice: when they speak, listen, embrace, eat, drink, love, have sexual relations, guide children, offer wisdom, work, garden, pay taxes, offer visible expressions of care, respect, approve and disapprove, pray, participate in fellowship and worship and instruction…one could go on. Their sacrifice is their embodied life (28-29).

Transformed minds

And so Paul tells us to

not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of [our] minds (Romans 12:2)

He tells us this because our minds are not neutral in the living out of our salvation, the giving and receiving of grace, justice, and peace.  Because what we dwell on has such a powerful influence over our thinking and our behavior, Paul actually has quite a bit in to say in his letters about our minds:

Our minds can become debased by sin, which leads to more sin (Romans 1)

Our minds can become “puffed up” by idle notions, leading to our becoming separated from God (Colossians 2:18ff)

Our thinking can become “futile” (Ephesians 4:17), “unsettled” (2 Thessalonians 2:2), or “depraved” (2 Timothy 3:8).

These are real situations; we all have friends whom we’ve watched become consumed with anger or rage or hatred.  In Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, we see it played out when the Ghost of Christmas Past takes Ebenezer Scrooge back to when his fiancée breaks up with him.  Belle says (clip begins at 2:40):

Scrooge is silent, because he knows it’s true.  His mind was pulled away from his love.

Our minds are to be transformed in Christ, that we may discern the will of God—what is good and acceptable and perfect.

The church, again

Whenever Paul explore the depths of theology, you can believe the church is not far behind.  Why are transformed minds so important?  Because of what we noted earlier: the supreme importance of the church.  Our minds are to be transformed so that we will think of ourselves less and think of one another more.  Paul says it this way

I say to everyone among you not to think of yourself more highly than you ought to think, but to think with sober judgment (Romans 12:3).

He then goes on to describe spiritual gifts—the blessings that God has given to us to help build one another up in the church, gifts like prophecy, ministry, teaching, exhortation, generosity, diligent leadership, cheerfulness.

The difficulty and the importance of this text is in connecting it to the times we are in.  I want to start a few ideas today that we’ll continue next Sunday about how the extreme partisanship of our times has the potential to make congregational life difficult and to reflect on the credibility of the church.  What pains me is seeing people I care about become so partisan that they just become angrier and angrier, and even use their political opinions to evaluate their theological beliefs and their church participation.  

Theologian David Fitch offers to us another way when he reminds us that

Theological disagreement is to be expected in church formation today. It used to be—50 years ago maybe—that people chose their church according to the denomination they were brought up. Today, finding a church you agree with on everything is not possible, and there are new social moral challenges every year. But the church is formed in the midst of theological disagreement. We must have spaces to have discussions about theological and ethical issues…so that together we can sort out “what does it mean for us to follow Jesus in this moral challenge?”

This is the example of Paul and his churches, Christians who wrestled with how to take people from different backgrounds, different philosophical and theological understandings, and different socio-economic groups so that they could be united in Christ. What unites us is to be more powerful than what divides us. And it starts with seeking the mercies of God so that our minds can be transformed and our bodies can be offered as living sacrifices so that we may honor one another and bring glory to Jesus as a faithful congregation bearing witness for Christ.

[placetobenation]

As many of you are aware, WWE Network is pretty packed with all sorts of content. And as you may also know, we here at Place to Be Nation love long term, in depth projects. So, as part of this initiative, members of the PTBN Staff are choosing programs at random and after watching each program, they will share their thoughts, notes and recommendations with our readers. So, settle in and enjoy this epic ride through wrestling history!

Smackdown! October 31st 2002

Run Time: 83 Minutes

Why Jacob Why???: Since this edition be running right around Halloween, I thought I’d pick one of the more Halloween-centric WWF/E shows. Plus, it’s an excuse to watch the Smackdown Six.

Best Segment

OhhhhhhhhYEEEEAAAAH!

Aaron George: Matt Hardy enters the Halloween party with a boom box blasting his theme song. Sure he could have entered without it, but what kind of Mattitude would that project? Before long he’s declaring Moolah and Mae Young to be “Version BC” and quickly notes that their Mattitude has all dried up. We would have been treated to sheer perfection if only he had blasted that sweet boom box on his exit.

Brian Bayless: While seeing John Cena dressed as Vanilla Ice and rapping was great and ended up elevating his career, I though the brawl between Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle backstage at the party was the best of the night. It had everything from comedy (We saw Brother Love revealed behind the Scream mask & costume, the same costume Angle was using to avoid Benoit earlier in the show) and a wild brawl that saw Benoit break a bottle over Angle’s head just before getting put through a table with an Angle Slam. And poor Shannon Moore got tossed across the room by Angle.

Jacob Williams: It feels like cheating to pick the entire Halloween party. At the same time, it’s hard to narrow it down because a lot it was very fluid. If I had to pick one bit, it would be Tajiri’s romantic encounter with Mae and Moolah. His facials were classic.

Calum McDougall: “OOHHH YEAAAH!!” – there was only one winner in this one for me and it was Matt Hardy at the Halloween Party. From him coming in with his own music playing on a boom box to calling Mae and Moolah “Version B.C.” and everything in between, it was brilliant stuff.

Dave Hall: Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit brawl at the Halloween Party. The seeds of this segment lay in the earlier segment where Benoit was looking for Kurt, who was hiding under the Scream outfit. Following Angle’s match with Eddie, Kurt comes back to the party looking for Benoit. Kurt’s approach to the “Scream Character” believing it to be Benoit was a good call back to the earlier segment, and I loved seeing the cameo by Brother Love. The brawl between the two men following this was awesome, using the tables, wall and other party elements.

Best Match

Uhhhh stay out of Riverdale!

Aaron George: It’s the brown water match and it’s not even close. Sure every other match on the card was technically better, but Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson gave us a “stiff” (as per Tazzzzzzzzz) match that will always be etched into the annals of time as simply the best to take place in a pool of liquid shit. They can tell us it’s chocolate, but honestly what kind of chocolate has that consistency? It’s liquid human shit which is clearly their metaphor for the poopstorm that is coming in the form of this feud. Was the ref rolling around silly? Sure. Were Torrie’s chops DIRECTLY to Dawn’s breasts the best since Flair/Steamboat in 89? Absolutely. The best part was after the loss Dawn gave Torrie a look that clearly said, “Yeah? Well I’m going to fuck your dad.” A threat I have often used but have very rarely carried out.  I can only imagine Vince McMahon Sr. looking down from Heaven, beaming with pride as his son carried on the family business. ******

Brian Bayless: Edge vs. Chris Benoit was an excellent TV match. The work was crisp and the finish made sense as it continued the friction between Angle and Benoit, who were the Smackdown Tag Team Champions.

Jacob Williams: On a show with some quality wrestling, the opener between Benoit and Edge felt like the most complete match. I love that they could come out and just have a great, straight-up match to start the show.

Calum McDougall: As good as Edge vs Benoit and Angle vs Eddie were, my favorite match was actually Brock Lesnar vs. Rey Mysterio. This match had three distinct parts to it – the early section with Rey out maneuvering the big man, followed by the middle part where Brock throws Rey around like a rag-doll and finally the end where Big Show comes out and manhandles both of them, looking like a complete beast in the process. Great stuff for the short time it was on, and call me crazy, but I wouldn’t mind seeing another Brock-Rey match in 2018.

Dave Hall: Kurt Angle vs Eddie Guerrero. On a show with so many options for the title of Match of the Night, Kurt and Eddie absolutely stole the show. Kurt was a wrestling machine, and looked amazing in the ring, while Eddie was crisp and quick. The two men countered each other finishers, and put on a clinic. The match built really well to some great action in the last few minutes, and a decent ending for a TV match. Benoit’s interference was appropriate to the storyline, and I loved how he took out Eddie and Chavo as well, demonstrating he was not working with them.

Most Cringeworthy Moment

Trojan Vince! Don’t let it in the city!

Aaron George: I’m not going to say that Stephanie McMahon isn’t an attractive woman, but on a show with the aforementioned Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie, does EVERY person who comes into Steph’s radius have to fawn on her as though she were Helen of fucking Troy. Are those the tits that launched a thousand ships?

Brian Bayless: Eric Bischoff making out with Stephanie McMahon after he was in her office wearing a Vince McMahon mask was something I never need to see again in my life. It was creepy in the worst way possible.

Jacob Williams: Sorry Michael Cole, but awkwardly perving out during the women’s pool-of-chocolate-sauce match can’t compete with Bischoff forcing himself on a woman 20 years his junior in a weird incest roleplay.

Calum McDougall: The piped-in cheers every time Stephanie McMahon was on the screen. Now I know that all of the cheers on SmackDown at this time were piped in, but there was no reason for Stephanie’s to be top-tier babyface loud other than pure ego. Only Brock and maybe Edge got louder “cheers”. I don’t know whether them going to these lengths to show Stephanie as being popular is cringy or outright infuriating, but it certainly rubbed me the wrong way.

Dave Hall: Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson.This segment showed us just how far women’s wrestling has come in 16 years. This match was horrible to watch, with the two women degrading themselves in little clothing and in a pool of chocolate milk. I hated every moment of this match, including the customary referee gets rolled over spot. I am so glad the women’s evolution means we don’t have to see this crap any more.

Funniest Line/Moment

Hashtag Tajiritoo

Aaron George: I’m still laughing at the image of Al Wilson dressed up like a greaser. Still.

Brian Bayless: Tajiri’s facial expressions while Mae Young forced him to be her boyfriend. He is one of the more underrated comedic performers in wrestling.

Jacob Williams: Again, I can’t say enough about Tajiri’s face after the Mae Young smooch. I love Tajiri.

Calum McDougall: “He’s saying Do La Ray, you know what that means Cole? It means “I’m beating up Kurt”” – Tazz doing his best to boost the sales of his Spanish to Red Hook dictionary.

Dave Hall: With so much good “in-ring” action, there were not a lot of amazingly funny lines. However during the Eddie vs Angle match, Tazz made the comment “I like Guerrero… I like Kurt… I like everyone on the Smackdown roster except you Michael Cole”. Also John Cena’s “Vanilla Ice Costume” was a great reminder of how he broke out in the WWE. But when he told Stephanie that Vince was looking for her, and she called him out, and he then did the “damn, I look stupid moment”, I laughed out loud. Was a great reminder that John Cena has more in his character than the hustle/loyalty/respect stuff we have seen since about 2005/06, he can do good comedy and was willing to poke fun at himself.

Highlights

Remember when we weren’t insufferable pricks??

Aaron George: The entire concept of doing a Halloween show was a TON of fun, and made the show instantly memorable. They should do more theme shows today. I know that they are actively going for homogenous, but a curve ball like this would be more than welcome. The costumes were almost universally silly. Faarooq playing Charles Wright was bang on, and while you’d think that Chuck Palumbo dressed as a Native American would go down as 2018’s most offensive, you’d be horrible mistaken as the honor easily went to the fan dressed as the Rock in full blackface. Almost all the matches were top-tier television matches. “YEAH MY DURANGO, NUMBER 95,” is possibly the most Rob Zombie lyric ever. There is something beautiful about Chris Benoit simply avoiding Edge’s top rope dropkick rather than finding a way to kick him six times on the way down. Benoit also sells a turnbuckle drop in what can only be described as “like when you’re about to uppercut Von Kaiser in Mike Tyson’s Punch Out.” Teenage Brock Lesnar is always a blast to have around. Kurt Angle staring angrily into the audience as they chant “You Suck” is waaaay better that the smiling Kurt we get today. He STILL doesn’t get why they are booing him. He also has the best near falls in the business. I could also watch Brock throw Rey Mysterio around all day. Even then he was one of the better sellers in the business. Speaking of best in the business: Tajiri’s kicks. Oh and the Brother Love reveal was great.

Brian Bayless: The party segments backstage were amusing enough and some of the costumes were funny (Chuck Palumbo as a Native American and Disco Tajiri) while some were just lame (Phantom of the Opera Billy Kidman). And while not as good as Edge vs. Benoit, Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero was a solid match ending with Benoit whacking Angle with the belt setting up Eddie to hit a frog splash for the win. Matt Hardy with his Version 1.0 character was amusing and I liked his entrance into the party. The Pudding match between Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie was surprisingly intense and I can only imagine how hard Vince was laughing backstage after Torrie tossed ring announcer Tony Chimel into the pudding. And of course, Al Wilson dressed as a greaser was a sight to behold.

Jacob Williams: The Halloween stuff was a fun throwback to mid-80s TNT campiness that gave everyone a chance to show their personalities. I love any situation that shows that the wrestlers all hang out backstage and are basically coworkers. Smackdown had a nice roster who were either fun characters, amazing wrestlers, or a combination of both. Tazz and Cole are a fun commentary team that really fit the show.

Calum McDougall: The way the Big Show was presented was really good. It’s hard to imagine in 2018 that there was a time where people actually believed that Brock Lesnar couldn’t beat the Big Show. At least I believed that anyway… Tazz trying to call the Torrie/Dawn “match” as an actual athletic contest was excellent stuff. I watched this show on the Friday before WWE Evolution, and this really does show how far women’s wrestling has come in the last 16 years.

Dave Hall: Pretty well the entire show was a highlight. The in-ring product was amazing, and as much as I wanted to hate Chris Benoit, I loved his match with Edge and his brawl with Angle. Matt Hardy Version 1 was great, and a good reminder that Hardy always the better “character” to his brother Jeff. Brock Lesnar was awesome in the ring, although I felt he sold a little too much at the end of his match with Rey. Big Show was booked as the monster heel he excelled at. This show was a reminder of how good all these guys were in 2002, and also how much WWE missed the mark with so many of them over the years.

Lowlights

Aaron George: Big Show wrestling in his street clothes is awful. Is that business casual for him? He just looks like a god damn slob.  His line delivery is worse. Is he bored? Stoned? Or did he simply study at the Stephanie McMahon “Petulant Child” school of acting? Seriously go back and watch how she says REY MYSTERIO in the opening segment when she gives him a match with Brock. Who on Earth talks that way? What on Earth was the point of the Bischoff/Stephanie kiss of weirdness? I know that she’s a sex symbol for the ages, but poor Eric simply doesn’t know what to do with himself after kissing the slutty witch of the east. Fuck Big Show for clearly ruining what could have been an awesome dream match.  While I’m at it like me correct something I said earlier: there is no way Vince Sr. is in Heaven. Especially when you have a best friend named “Toots.”

Brian Bayless: One of the main goals was to build up Big Show as Brock Lesnar’s title opponent for Survivor Series and man did he fail tonight. His street clothes looked was terrible, his conditioning worse (he was gassed after beating Rikishi in a match that lasted under three minutes long), and the cut a terribly long promo that no one seemed to care about. Stephanie McMahon’s segments were all awkward tonight too.

Jacob Williams: The feud between Lesnar and Big Show was lackluster. Show looked so bloated and out of place in his biker dad jeans against a young stud like Brock. Show gasping through his promo and Brock’s stilted delivery of an S-Bomb in his response didn’t help matters. The women having to wrestle in a kiddy pool filled with Ovaltine was not a high point either.

Calum McDougall: The Big Show promo was unnecessarily long, he made the point, then made it another 2 or 3 times before Brock finally appeared. Also, Eddie Guerrero’s very noticeable bacne is a sad lowlight in retrospect.

Dave Hall: The only real lowlights for me were the segments involving Stephanie. The first segment seemed just an excuse to show off Stephanie’s breasts, while the kissing segment with Eric Bischoff, while humorous, was not necessary. With the amazing in-ring action, it made Stephanie’s part in the show seem really self-indulgent.

Wild Card BABY!!!

Wrestling!

I Can’t Believe This Got Over: It’s not rap. It’s bad slam poetry. It became worse slam poetry. – AG

Al Wilson Tidbit #1: Paul Heyman created the Al Wilson storyline and according to Torrie Wilson, Heyman gave her the option to use an actor in the role or her actual father and Torrie went with her dad because she rarely saw him and thought it would be fun as he used to act when he was younger. – BB

The Award for Most Misplaced Optimism: “Exciting times ahead in WWE after the signing of Scott Steiner.” I don’t think this one needs much explanation, let’s just let it sink in. – CM

Best Babyface in Peril: Person in the bear costume. – JW

Number of Sexual Assaults: 3! Mae Young accosts Tajiri. Eric Bischoff forces himself on Stephanie. (who is into it???) The letch in the Kane mask filming Dawn Marie. Someone should show Randy Savage footage of this guy to clearly demonstrate lust in the eyes. There is no way his hard on didn’t pierce someone’s back in front of him.

Al Wilson Tidbit #2: According to Dawn Marie, the toughest thing for her to do was kiss Al Wilson. However, Vince McMahon loved watching them kiss and even said he wanted to see “tongue.” – BB

Memories Are Forever: Looking at Brock and Kurt in amazing ring shape, and much smaller than recent years, Matt Hardy’s early character development, John Cena’s freestyle rapping and Edge using more counter wrestling really brought back some amazing memories of what these guys could do at the time. Watching this show made me think of the little things that seem to be missing today. – DH

Best Tidbit: According to Wade Keller of “Pro Wrestling Torch,” Brock Lesnar was originally going to defend the title against Hulk Hogan at Survivor Series 2002 but Hogan backed out, reportedly due to refusing to put Lesnar over. After contemplating between Chris Benoit and Big Show as replacements, Vince McMahon ultimately decided to go with Show despite Heyman pushing for a Benoit/Lesnar program. – BB

Best at Fooling Security Staff: The master of disguise Eric Bischoff strikes again. Twice now in 2002 Easy E has managed to get past SmackDown security just by wearing a mask. Extra points awarded for a good Vince impression, but points deducted for this not being as good as Billy and Chuck’s wedding. – CM

Al Wilson Tidbit #3: Dawn Marie also said that the Al Wilson angle was supposed to go on even longer with lawyers and Torrie’s brother added to the storyline but that all got nixed. – BB

Least Likely to Still be Full Time in 2018: Out of everyone on this show, who would have thought that it would be Rey Mysterio, the man of 619 knee operations, who would be the only one still wrestling full-time for WWE in 2018? – CM

I Really Tried…: I found it so hard watching Chris Benoit on this show. I really wanted to just overlook and hate him, but his match against Edge was amazing, and his brawl with Kurt was also great. As much as I wanted to, I just could not hate Benoit in this show, and I find myself really conflicted because of this. – DH

Final Thoughts

Come on! We needed one shot of this smoke show.

Aaron George: This was a fun, easy watch littered with great television matches and memorable moments. It’s easy to think of Smackdown as the “B” show, but it was clearly running on all cylinders here. Now someone please give me 75 minutes of Brock Lesnar manhandling Rey Mysterio! RATING: 7/10

Brian Bayless: The Halloween party theme worked really well and usually the WWE Holiday themed shows tend to be weak. It is also memorable for the creation of Cena’s rap character. We had a really good match and an intense brawl between Angle and Benoit. The Big Show segments were terrible but overall a fun show that breezed along. RATING: 7/10

Jacob Williams: This was a finely constructed piece of wrestling television. The Halloween stuff was enough to give the show a unique feel without smothering it. Just about everyone on the show looked to be pretty over and had something at least semi-meaningful to do. Plus, there were good matches to round everything out. Aside from the questionable Big Show spot, Smackdown looked to be in a pretty great groove at this point, so this show was a breezy watch. RATING: 7/10

Calum McDougall: It’s easy to see why SmackDown in ’02 was highly thought of at the time and is fondly remembered to this day, this stuff holds up so well. I had a smile on my face from start to finish, as this took me right back to when I would watch this on a Saturday morning. It was a fantastic trip down memory lane. It would be difficult to put on a bad show with this roster, and the quality of matches that they can and did put on was outrageous. I loved this, excellent stuff.  RATING: 9/10

Dave Hall: This episode of Smackdown was awesome. 4 great matches, some good brawling out of the ring, John Cena giving us some freestyle and some good booking made this card one I would watch again. The only thing stopping it from being a 10 out of 10 was the Dawn Marie vs Torrie Wilson fiasco, and Stephanie’s self-indulgence. I may just need to watch some more Smackdown from this era… RATING: 9/10

And we are out! Where will the Network Adventure travel to? Which Coliseum will be conquered next? Which of these assholes will quit the project in an indignant rage??? Find out in TWO WEEKS!

[ezlebe]

(I 1000% stole this idea from @claricechiarasorcha​ who mentioned a scenario where Millicent was like Pushinka - a oneupsman sort of gift from Leia, but then I sort of warped that into something completely different, I apologize.)

“What is this?” Hux says, leaning over the box and trying to gently drag his finger over a soft ear. The creature looks up at him with yellow eyes as it wakes, practically glowing, “A felinx?”

“Hardly.” 

Hux glances up from the box, wincing and pulling his hand back with a start as a pair needle-like teeth latch onto a finger. Ren seems to have gotten over his sulk in record time, though Hux doubts that the issue of the Upsilon upgrades will not be so soon forgotten – he’ll probably bring it up again on the bridge in the middle of the day.

“A ralltiir cub,” Ren says, reaching down with a gloved hand into the box, running a pair of fingers down the standout strip of light hair down that cub’s spine. “My mother has one.”  

Hux feels his lips twist into a sneer, “Oh.”

“They are capricious and ill-tempered, not meant to be pets,” Ren continues, his patting having caused the cub to begin purring, clumsily attempted to curl both paws around Ren’s wrist.  “Fjalte once attacked a Senator’s aide after they angered my mother. A prosthetic was needed after he gnawed off their arm.”

Hux raises his eyebrows, looking back down at the little beast with some disbelief. “Ah, so this ‘gift’ is meant to kill me.”

“Likely,” Ren says, shifting forward on his feet with what might be an odd peering through the visor. “It is Fjalte’s own progeny.”

Hux nearly drops the crate, leaning away from a questing paw with a low, skeptical noise. He doesn’t think Organa would stoop to setting a bomb in a living creature, but… she is pragmatic. “How can you possibly know that?”

“The note,” Ren says, leaning over and tracing his fingers against a flowy design etched into the crate’s lid, “More than a gift – a peace offering from my own stock.”

“Ah,” Hux says, narrowing his eyes at the mess of whorls and spines of apparent typescript. “I’m sure.”

Ren is quiet for a long moment, dropping his hand back to his side. “It may be meant for me. Not many can read High Alderaanian.”

Hux huffs his agreement, gently dropping the crate to the floor and grabbing the cub itself, hoisting it up to look better. It really is darling little thing, in a tooth and claw, growling to bite sort of way. “You can hardly take care of yourself, let alone a pet. Has she met you?”

Ren shrugs, rubbing under the cub’s chin with a curl of fingers, an odd tilt to his head when he glances up to Hux. “Not really.”

Hux rolls his eyes, never quite eager to deal with Ren in a metaphorical mood. He curls his arms into his chest until Ren’s hand drops, leaving the cub reaching out with oversize paws, though only a moment later it turns to lick with a sandpapery tongue at Hux’s neck, purr lulling into a rumble. It doesn’t seem like the offspring of a creature that could tear off a limb with ease.

“Pets aren’t permitted within the First Order,” he mutters, resisting the urge to give any acknowledgement to the way the cub seems to be settling in to sleep against his chest. It’s very warm, and very soft, but that is exactly the problem; distractions, attachments, wastes of resources, et cetera – they’re all bad for upholding the goal. 

“I’m not bound by regulation,” Ren says, his helmet cocking sideways at an odd angle before righting itself, focused at Hux’s face. The silence grows long and awkward after another few moments, until he looks down to the cub still in Hux’s arms, “It’s staying.”

Hux raises his eyebrows, skeptical, “You’re really taking responsibility for something?”

“No,” Ren says, shoving past and pausing momentarily at the door, not even deigning to turn around as he speaks, “It came to your office.”

“S-sir?”

Hux closes his eyes for a moment, then looks up from holo feed with a slow inhale.  “Yes, Lieutenant?” 

“Lord Ren has arrived in the anterior ship bay,” Mitaka says, diverting his gaze down to his data pad and seeming to wince around the eyes. “And he is fighting with Millicent. Again.”

“The harmless wrestling that beasts of their sort do,” Hux says, raising his eyebrows and tilting his head, watching as his condescension makes Mitaka curl up tighter, “Or actual fighting, Lieutenant?”

“I um, I don’t know,” Mitaka stutters, lips going tight and blanching, “Sire – sir.”

Hux almost rolls his eyes, reaching for his data pad and easily pulling up the feed with a frustrating sort of muscle memory. He narrows his eyes at the projected display, watching as Millie throws Ren to the ground and starts gnawing on his helmet with snarling, exposed teeth. Ren responds in similar violence, an invisible hand grabbing Millie by the scruff and throwing her to the ground, where she rights herself in an instant with a visible roar just as Ren bodily dives for her. 

It is, admittedly, very difficult to tell the degree of killing intent from either participant. 

Hux watches the grappling for a few more moments before turning to Phasma, doing his best approximation of disinterested, yet frustrated, rather than vaguely intrigued. “The bridge is yours, Captain.”

“Yes, sir,” Phasma says, nodding shortly before returning back to watch the troop movements at her own station. She sends some approximate look just as Hux steps into the lift, her head tilting with what has far been taken as the helmeted version of a smirk, “We’ll be here while you discipline your pets.”

The doors close before Hux can even begin to scold her for undermining him in front of the entire bloody bridge, but he’ll remember it the next time she requests a schedule change. It’ll hardly be more than a petty revenge, but a revenge all the same. He can even assign her to detail with Ren, trodding through dusty and barren planets on a chase after cowardly ghosts.

A slam just near his ear is what greets him at the entrance to the bay, then a heavy body ramming straight into his and knocking him to the cold, unforgiving alusteel floor. He’s not quite winded, and it might bruise a little on the shoulder that hit first, but otherwise the only injury is to his pride, some niggling little thought at the back of his mind insisting he should’ve been able to dodge a beast of little more than muscle and violence going at some breakneck speed. 

Oh, and the ceiling looks appalling in here – covered in black streaks from clumsy pilots and visibly thick with exhaust residue. He’s going to have to get someone up there, and as much as he’d like to make it a particularly moronic adherent of the Dark, it’ll probably be a droid; regulation safety and all.

“General?” A voice comes from literally on top of him, uncharacteristically meek even through the modulation.  

Hux slowly turns his head, catching his own furious reflection in the visor. Ren hasn’t moved since he… fell; how does something like this even happen? It’s not as if Millie has the biological ability to throw anything the size of Ren. 

Millicent seems at a similar loss, pacing back and forth from her usual perch on top of the Upsilon. It is admittedly the first time Ren has even attempted any sort of physical harm, but she shouldn’t be so neutral about it – Hux was the one that raised her from a cub; Ren only fulfills her mammalian needs for play. She should be at Ren’s throat for vengeance, not taking some cowering retreat to her favorite napping spot.

“Is that blood?” Hux asks, narrowing his eyes to the telltale stains around Millicent’s mouth. He tries to leverage up on his elbows, attempting to get a better look at Ren from helmet to boot – he’s going to need to be a little more stern about putting a stop to this if actual injury is becoming involved. 

“I brought her back a toy,” Ren says, finally rolling off and laying flat next to Hux, helmet clunking against the floor. 

Hux shifts up a little more and settles his palms flat on the ground, heaving a sigh, “A toy.”

“She needs to hunt,” Ren says, “Even if it is some worm she can catch before they even reach the door.”

Hux frowns with realization, looking around for the… Ah, there it is, a crumpled body in an orange jumpsuit, striped lekku splayed over a gruesomely exposed spine. “You realize we’re meant to be interrogating the Resistance, not letting Millie eat them?”

Ren tilts his head, though it’s more of a raised eyebrow than a smirk. “Yeah?” Hux stares at him for a moment longer, then shoves up from the ground to stand, walking over to the Upsilon with singular goal in mind. He ignores the sidelong stares from a pair of technicians at a cargo shuttle in the next bay, snapping his fingers and pointing to the floor at his side. “Millie, down. Now.” 

Millicent bares her teeth for a moment, a growling sort of whine escaping her throat, then jumps down with a soft thud to his side. She presses her head to Hux’s thigh, pushing hard enough to force him back a step. 

“No,” Hux says, crossing his arms to keep from giving into the reflex to rub at her ears. “I’m not happy with you, either.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Ren says, the loud stomp of his boots sign enough he’s finally stood from the floor. 

“Are you absolutely delusional? You were two cycles late for your return, you fed another enemy agent to my pet, you caused such a scene that it drew my personal attention away from the bridge,” Hux says, turning on his heel and counting off on three fingers, then slowly lifting a fourth, “And then you crushed me.”

“I didn’t know you were there,” Ren says, patently dismissive by the short rush of static in the vocoder betraying a scoff.

Hux lifts his chin, feeling a sneer twist at his lips, “Oh, and is that excuse going to remove the bruises from my back?” 

Ren doesn’t seem to know what to say to that, a few short twitches of his head and a curling of his hands the only reaction. 

“You’re on this ship to do a job, Lord Ren,” Hux says, his own anger quickly spurred on by the complete lack of attempt at an apology. He hardly expected one, but a few moments of remorse would be polite. “I invite you to find your restraint before worse happens.”

Hux suffers the silence for a few minutes longer before steeling his jaw and heading for the lifts. He hopes the relief he feels at the soft sound of Millie’s paws at his side isn’t obvious, nor the thin thread of regret when he catches the subtle slump of Ren’s shoulders as he passes him; it’s not quite the conversation he envisioned having when he came down here, but Ren really needs to act his age.  

“Report,” Hux barks, flipping through the pair of feeds from Ren’s private medical room. 

“Unidentified toxin, sir,” the med droid says, bringing up a report filled with more unfamiliar terms than Hux would care to admit, then pointing at a scan of Ren’s foot with a metal claw, gesturing near the ankle, “Administered through a projectile into the lower calf and meant for a species roughly a fourth of his weight.”

“Full recovery?” 

“Affirmative – projected two ternary cycles,” the med droid confirms, dropping the display with a short, needless nod. “The toxin nearly destroyed his foot, but we managed to repair it. He will be moved to his personal quarters at stability – projected within current hour.”

“Notify me,” Hux says, closing his own feeds with a pinch of his hand. 

“Yes, sir,” the droid says, giving an affected bow before their holo disappears completely from Hux’s office. 

Hux stares at the empty space for a long, silent moment, then slowly stands, taking his coat from the back of his seat and throwing it over his shoulders. The trip to his personal quarters is only a short lift ride and a few meters of walking, the only difficult part of it being the curious expressions from passing officers and their quickly diverting eyes. 

He opens the door with his code and data pad, a half-hearted lift of his arm before it slides open with a hiss. The inside is quiet and dimly lit, making the pair of bright, prying eyes all the more obvious from the adjacent room. 

“Millicent,” Hux sighs, narrowly watching her roll defiantly to her back on the coverlet; she knows the bed is off-limits. 

He walks over and drags his hand across her chin, careful of the exposed canines protruding passed her jaw. She gives a now predictable chuff low in her throat, trying to grab his hand back in a fearsome paw when he kneels down at the sight of something unfamiliar protruding from just under his bed on the floor. 

“Millie, what is – ?” Hux pauses, pulling harder and realizing he’s holding what can only be Ren’s cape in his hands, only it’s in utter tatters, ripped apart from the bottom and barely half as long. He has absolutely no idea what it’s doing in his quarters, “Where did you get this?”

He startles when it’s yanked out of his grip without warning, Millie growling low in her throat with what seems to be her version of offended. She drags the it to her own little corner adjacent to his bed, draping it into a messy heap over the edge of her makeshift bed of old pillows. A low, painful feeling sinks into Hux’s chest when she presses her forehead to the crumpled pile of cloth, like she’s trying to headbutt it into reacting to her. 

“He’s not dead,” Hux mutters, refusing to feel any sort of guilt over the matter. She’s an oversize felinx, not an actual child, and it’s not as if he told Ren to keep away from her, he simply… heavily implied it. 

All aside, he couldn’t have predicted Ren actually listening to him. 

“Oh, I see,” Hux says, crouching down and spying another familiar item of clothing in Millie’s pile – an old greatcoat, replaced for one-too-many ripped seams from wear. “You’re stealing my clothes as well.”

A low beep pierces the room before Hux can do any more digging, drawing his attention to his data pad. ‘Transport successful.’

Well, the med droids are certainly getting efficient, though a glance to the time shows it’s been nearly twenty minutes since he requested the update. He presses the datapad into silence, pocketing it and looking to Millie, who has peeked open her eyes with irritation at her mid-day nap being officially interrupted.

“Come,” Hux says, gesturing with has hand for her to come to his side.

Millie rolls over at the first few words, but doesn’t obey, closing her eyes with the sort of apathy only capable in lower creatures. 

Hux rolls his eyes, walking more demonstrably to the door in the other room, loathe to repeat himself. “Now, Millie.”

Millicent bounds to his side now with a minor look of delight, staring hard at the door for a long moment, then looking up at him for an instant before returning to the door. It’s worrying for a few seconds, and he winces as she bounds out and down the hall without waiting a single moment for Hux to check for onlookers. 

He waits just outside the door and watches as she pauses at the lift, tilting her head back to where Hux is standing, then running down again past him to the other end of the hall, sitting down in front of another door. 

“You’re utterly transparent, even for a beast,” Hux says, walking to said door at a more sedate pace. He eyes the cracked display for a moment before tapping in the override code, standing still for the retinal scan and wincing at an overbright light that has become far too familiar. 

Millie bounds in with absurd excitement as the door slides open, circling the main room for a few seconds before heading into the sleeping quarters. A shout of genuine surprise, then an answering roar from Millie, and Hux already feels incredibly awkward. He had thought he could go in there and say something dismissive, but now he’s looking backward at the door, realizing it would probably be better if he just retrieves Millie in a few hours once whatever sedatives Ren got have rendered him dead to the world. 

“Hux,” Ren says, voice raised and calling before Hux can attempt to take his leave. His tone is off, and it takes Hux a moment to realize it’s because his voice is clear, no cover or false tenor through the modulator. 

“What?” Hux responds, stepping into the door and finding Ren gracelessly lying on the bed – foot propped up on one end, Millie in some sort of headlock on the other. 

Ren frowns after a few moments of mutual staring, a low suspicion manifesting and then disappearing from his eyes. He seems to accept it all the same, the silence of the room losing some of the tension and simply becoming mildly uncomfortable.   

“She stole one of your cloaks,” Hux says, ignoring an urge to go looking for where they’re kept; he’s certain the closet is in utter disarray, and he doesn’t need that compulsion to tidy surfacing in Ren’s quarters of all places. “And an old coat of mine. She’s torn them to pieces and is sleeping with them.”

“Okay,” Ren says, seemingly disinterested in the systematic destruction of his wardrobe. “She can’t be nesting; I don’t see the problem.”

“Not unless that med droid is incompetent,” Hux says, narrowing his eyes and watching Millie play at trapping a stray corner of coverlet under her paw. He’s not noticed any other potential signs, but his education on galactic biology is hardly comprehensive.

Ren scoffs under his breath, a condescending look crossing his face, “Or you have another ralltiir?”

“The same med droid also told me you near lost your foot to a teddy bear?” Hux says, crossing his arms with a quick flash of heat behind his ears. It appears Ren has forgotten the row in the ship bay, so all in all, mission accomplished on that front. “What’s your witty rejoinder to that?”

Ren shakes his head, shoving his face into the thick fur on Millie’s neck and muffling his voice by consequence, “Lucky shot.”

It’s the short hairs sticking up at the back of Finn’s neck, the subtle muting of extraneous noise that warns him first, years of drills kicking in and screaming at him to turn around before the worst can happen. He spins on his heel, stopping Poe with a hand on his arm, and that’s when he sees it – a ralltiir. It’s walking a few steps behind them, slow and grey around the muzzle, but still zeroed in on them with glowing eyes.

“Oh, that’s Fjalte,” Poe says, kneeling down and holding a hand forward, outright welcoming the overlarge predator to rub up against his palm like a kitten. “He looks scary, but he’s just a big softy.”

“General Hux has one of those,” Finn says, still glancing at exits and calculating the quickest, most subtle way to get to any one of them. He likes Poe, but Finn has had his own run-ins with ralltiir. “Millicent.”

“Shouldn’t you say Kylo Ren has one?” General Organa says, appearing from the same direction Fjalte must have come, holding a disconnected lead that she folds into a pocket at her belt. 

“No,” Finn says, leaning a few centimeters further back from Fjalte. He glances up in the ensuing quiet to see a perturbed look on the General Organa’s face, realizing she must be waiting for something more substantial. “I mean, sort of, ma’am, but I think the General would be… angry to hear anyone call her Lord Ren’s pet. There is a rumor that Lord Ren gave her to him, but – well, it’s hard to believe.”

“Ah,” Organa says, an odd emotion settling around her eyes. 

“Lord Ren does like to let spies go when he’s done and let her catch them on the ship,” Finn continues, gesturing awkwardly in the shape of the Finalizer, remembering a few of the more memorable chases with nausea low in his stomach. “The only time I ever saw her was at the emergency clinic on level seventeen when she came in looking for one. She was so big, and had these giant – wait, where are his teeth?”

“They’re usually removed and replaced with small artificial ones when they’re just growing in,” Organa says, looking down at Fjalte and running a pair of fingers through the standout hair at his back. “It helps calm their instincts. To leave them in is… a very risky choice.”

“Sorry, can we go back to the part where I was going to be eaten alive for fun?” Poe says, speaking slowly and raising his brows with no little disbelief. “Is that what you’re seriously saying?”

“Oh,” Finn intones, feeling his eyes widen at the epiphany. He hadn’t even thought about anything aside from getting off the ship, getting away from the First Order. “I can’t believe we got out – no one ever escapes from Millie.”