#exception regime

[mario-gp]

"crecer con cariño" (army version)

19.11.22

[gay-jesus-probably]

If I ever get access to a time machine, first priority will always be to find Trofim Lysenko and kick his goddamn teeth in before he ever starts running his goddamn mouth. That stupid motherfucker was responsible for so many famines. He's literally the worst thing that's happened to planet earth since that one guy that invented leaded gasoline and chlorofluorocarbons, but at least that guy was just doing honest fuckups; Lysenko might've started with honest mistakes, but given how he got all his critics imprisoned and/or murdered, I'm not really inclined to give him the benefit of doubt.

Deep plowing and close planting, go fuck yourself.

[pr4yerp0sition]

Awww, the delicate nature of half the roster being supportive by making their loves one coffee or tea. The gentleness that comes in preparation, patience, the knowledge this will be savored by the one you hold close. Regardless of platonic or romantic vibes, it’s such a cute scenario to write. The early lazy mornings spent, laughing, cooking, talking about the mundane while it feels like for a second time itself stops.

[lilacerull0]

For the human body thing, can I have the eyes? 💜

i would LOVE to draw this for you, but it's one of the 3 lessons i have yet to hear this semester. i took pictures of eye related elements from my atlas for you tho!!!

sharing some anatomical fun facts because we covered this in anatomy already. okay, so the eyes are so beautiful because they are literally an extension of the brain in embriologic terms so they're basically your brain peeking out... the mechanism of the optic nerve is also the main precondition for inherent contradiction humans are built on. simply put, because (some of) the fibres of the optic nerve cross the whole body followed (it would be too difficult to have one mechanism in one part of the body and a completely different one in the other... or it's just the human instinct to follow what somebody else is doing and it's a chain reaction🤣 so once one element fucked up...) this is the explanation for that thing where left brain controls the right side of the body and vice versa. why the fibres cross in the first place has more to do with physics and how light enters the eye which i'm not an expert on, but i have a friend who is so i might add to this some time in the future.

[mnfrostofficial]

okay wait my new take on all this is that after u guys get back from killing that man in winnipeg or whatever, we band together with the pride department and overthrow wild management/ownership. full on gay coup

[gender-euphowrya]

how do some people reconcile saying "anarchy ! no gods no masters !" in one breath and then "omg supreme leader 💕" in the next

[quixoticanarchy]

i am reverting to my high school self so hard lately... back in the phil ochs spiral, trying to radicalize my friends, read 4 foreign policy related books in the last 3 days, etc. this may not quite be good for me but man the shell game of the self sure can contain so many other buried selves within it

[kenslilove]

barou is actually so horny all the time y’all. I know it, I know he is. His cleaning his a form of regulation, so is his strict regime. If he allowed it to falter the first thing he’d do is pull up a pretty picture of you and fist at his dick

[blondemadona]

What’s funny is whenever I announce I have a headache one of my parents will inevitably tell me to go have a cup of coffee to fix it

[grandwretch]

I love that every video game about being a border worker is low-key like "yeah this is fun bc you're a nerd and love paperwork but uh. you are actively killing ppl and are contributing to the fall of society. btw"

[kyliafanfiction]

Jesus christ the number of people who just want to be the one wearing the boot, rather that eliminate the boot entirely continues to be insane.

[dalesramblingsblog]

me after watching every hal hartley film: damn that's the best hal hartley film i've ever seen

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

candace flynn is THE most teenage girl character of all time. she is at level 100 anxiety 24/7. she shows her love for her brothers by trying to get them in trouble constantly. her neck is as long as her forearm. she features on a blues album after having an allergic reaction. she has a shrine to her boyfriend in her room. she can't live without her phone. she has a panic room in the basement. she plays 20 instruments that all start with the letter B. she read all of sherlock holmes in one night. she's seen their platypus running around as a secret agent more than once, assumed she was hallucinating each time, and moved on with her life while telling no one. she likes wrestling video games. she was rutabaga princess. she has a billion people to email memes to but when she's trying to think of friends she can only think of four people and one of them is her mom. most animals hate her except monkeys. she invented grilled cheese flavored ice cream. she pretended to be irish for a week. she's autistically obsessed with her universe's version of barney. she writes marvel fanfiction. she does parkour. there's an entire archive of her voice actress screaming just in case her voice ever gave out while recording. she sees her brothers build time machines and rollercoasters every day but doesn't believe in santa. when she starts scheming the wicked witch of the west theme starts playing in the background. she was elected queen of mars. she won a "mayor for the day" essay competition. there's a random person in town who's been avoiding her to the point she doesn't know he exists. she learned how to parallel park by driving a monster truck. she thinks the plural of moose is "meese." she tracks her mom with a GPS. she doesn't know her little brother's full name. she's scared of heights, spiders, and the number seven. when her boyfriend told her he'd call "soon" she started doing complex math to try and figure out when exactly that would be. her first thought upon seeing her royal doppelganger was to go to the laundromat and fill all the dryers with cheese. she earned 50 not-girl-scout patches in one day through sheer determination. she can run fast enough to catch up to moving cars. she can sense when ground is broken in the backyard and when people are judging her. one time she got her face caught in the sink. her brothers carved her into mount rushmore. every now and again a magical zebra appears, calls her kevin, and then disappears again. she killed 99% of an alien invasion with a t-shirt cannon. in an alternate universe she's leading a regime-destroying resistance at the age of 15. she's being accidentally gaslit every day of her life.

[numbertumberz]

i need to do more research on communism

[priceforrottenjudgement]

...

[ariaste]

So listen i have this book coming out in uhhh 10 days and I am Worried about it, because it is a Comedy, and comedy is really hard to market (why????? it's funny pirates, what's not to like??) even when it is, yanno, normal mainstream comedy.

It is even worse when it is Unhinged Comedy That's Mostly Going To Be Funny To People On Tumblr. (For example, the main character being a supreme gremlin made of 90% memes by weight (examples: carries around a bag that is never called anything but his "little rucksack"; has a near-verbatim "stick me legy out real far" moment; talks about his metaphorical "orphan gruel bowl" which is a direct reference to that one Oliver Twist gif) because those are funny to me personally.) Unhinged Tumblr Comedy is difficult because tumblr is not a platform where it is easy to market things to people, because we are generally violently anti-capitalist and LOATHE advertisements and reflexively resist being marketed to for most anything. I LOVE that about this website. Except for right now, because I have bills to pay and a cat to feed. So look, fellow tumblr gremlins, I am just trying to say that if your personal brand of comedy is laughing at the kind of jokes that could only be produced on this hell website, and:

you like pirates

you're queer and want to read more books by queer authors

you want your fictional queer characters to be a hell of a lot more Messy and Unhinged than they often are depicted as being

you're interested in seeing a love triangle (M/M/NB) that resolves into polyamory

you want books where the hottest character gets to makes Passionate Speeches about rebelling against oppressive institutional regimes like governments and organized religions

you believe that capitalism is the most oppressive institutional regime of them all

you think it's fun when two characters have been in a 15-year-long relationship where the vibes have been "We're Newly Divorced" nearly since day one

you believe that All Cops Are Bastards and want to know what to do when you get pulled over by the boat cops

you think the Great British Bake-Off would be improved with weaponry, ritualized bribery/coercion of judges, and elaborate shit-talk

then this book might be for you. Beneath the wall-to-wall hijinks, it is political and it is righteously angry and it is the funniest thing I have ever written (which is saying something, because I have written some funny shit). It's called RUNNING CLOSE TO THE WIND. Here's a picture of it.

If all that sounds cool, you can read a review of it here and the first chapter of it here to see if it as funny as I am claiming it is, and then if you think that it is, you can preorder it here. It comes out on June 11! Ten days from now!

Thank you for letting me market to you for a minute. Signal boosting would be very much appreciated.