#except oops this untreated instability and our own inability to keep track of important legal documents such as her birth certificate
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#liz vents#cant say im fond of my parents style of parenting#the whole 'lets pretend our kid isnt mentally ill and hope she just deals with it on her own and moves out and then its her problem#except oops this untreated instability and our own inability to keep track of important legal documents such as her birth certificate#has left her a completely incapable adult stuck in our care while we've spent all this time coddling her next sibling because he's cooler#and not fucking broken' thing is. really a drain tbh#woohoo i love being abandoned#remember how ive kinda vaguely mentioned how my parents lost like everything i needed to prove i was a real human being#then they were blaming it on me for years and putting me down because of it like it was all my fault#and then they took their sweet fucking time slowly getting usable copies of all these documents#did i ever mention!! y'know where this shit was?? in a drawer. in a cabinet. in the dining room we never use#of course we only found this shit a few months ago after it was too late#last three years of my life already spent not being able to do anything and constantly being berated like its my fault#meanwhile my younger brother - ~ * ~ the favorite ~ * ~ - is out here with a job and a car at 16#he's in college programs and extra curricular activities and besides being a violent asshole he's like. the ideal son#ah the things i could have been if my parents gave a shit from the start#but nahh i had to come out Fucking Broken and it only gets worse with time. i feel like im not allowed to complain about Shitty Parents#because they still do cool things sometimes - really cool things actually!! - but that doesnt change the fact that they let all this happen#vacations and gifts are nice but they dont make up for the fact that im literally dead and broken inside and its constantly being dismissed#tw negative#there's something funny about the fact im sitting here listening to windows96 and having my fourth mental breakdown in the last week#is it still depression if you could never end yourself but you wish you were never born to begin with#hhhhh#i gotta stop posting my dumb personal problems on the internet but i almost. want a log. of my bullshit. so some day when im happy we can lo#look back and laugh and maybe someone else will go 'wow she was really in the shitter but came out ok and if she can maybe i can too'#or maybe im just being stupid and self centered i dont know i dont care but this. is staying up.#block LIZ VENTS if you dont want my bad vibes on your dashboard every now and then you're valid i have nothing against u
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