#except i was making everyone uncomfortable with my pityparty (everyone was 14 at the time - how could i expect them to live up to my needs-
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i'm literally never leaving 14 mentally. i'm exactly the same, only now i know how to cope in public
#when i was 14 i was seriously depressed and i craved so much attention bc i felt like i was wrong in so many ways#so if i got attention i would finally be considered right#except i was making everyone uncomfortable with my pityparty (everyone was 14 at the time - how could i expect them to live up to my needs-#-> all of the time)#anyways i still crave the attention and i still feel out of place and weird but now i've learned how to live a little so i don't try to ->#-> overthink as much and instead go with the flow most of the time#but then there's moments like these where i cant help but to wonder if someone's opinion of me changed after i said something weird#and when i'm in this state i feel so lost on what to do bc i know attention would satisfy my seeking needs#but if i constantly bring down the mood everything gets weird and idk. life is hard and becoming 1 with nature would solve it all
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