#except for the shaky video shit… cause I just hate watching most things now as they all make

[jmflowers]

sometimes I’m like, yeah, I’m totally normal and like an average level of intelligent and everything is cool

and then other times I feel this like, consuming rage at witnessing other people ‘breaking rules’ and like not understanding things that I do and I’m like, oh yeah, dis bitch neurodivergent

[elysianslove]

haikyuu boys that ━━

━━ would absolutely, definitely, 100% get nauseous, dizzy, possibly might faint, while their s/o is in labor. one peak and they’re doubling over the hospital bed, inhaling deeply and exhaling sharply, steeling themselves. some are surprising, some are expected. all are stupid.

iwaizumi hajime; he just cannot. he cannot fathom what is happening. there is no way you’re going through that and surviving. no wonder you’re screaming in pain. of course you’re screaming in pain. he takes one look at what’s going on and just immediately takes a step back, eyebrows raised and hand pressed to his chest like “my god.” he’s an 8/10 though because he is incredibly supportive and those arms are great to grab onto. will not complain for a second (is strangely way too quiet), but he’s worryingly pale. maybe he’s quiet cause if he speaks he’ll throw up. 

miya atsumu; he’s this close to screaming. or crying. possibly both. he can’t tell if he’s scared in general or scared for you or if he’s hurting seeing you hurting. in fact, no one can tell. he just looks like he’s watching an alien abduction happen right before his eyes. like a 6/10 because he probably does actually faint. it’s almost as if he’s the one in labor. and he’s the annoying kind of supportive that makes you want to smack him like shut the fuck up i’m pushing a whole child out of me right now. but his reactions are extremely endearing and hilarious to watch back because he most definitely insisted on filming. 

akaashi keiji; the silent struggler. really doesn’t wanna make it obvious at all. like he really, really, really doesn’t want you knowing that he’s uncomfortable in any way, but he’s like, sweating from how nauseous he is. a big part of it is hating seeing you in pain; he cringes every time you so much as groan or pant. 7/10 because he’s incredibly supportive but his hands are way too clammy :/ like fr get a grip keiji. again, supportive, but his voice is shaky so it’s like, really ineffective. he cries when he sees his baby and it automatically makes him an 11/10.

sakusa kiyoomi; absolute coward. pussy. it’s not about hygiene, he’s just genuinely mortified. keeps asking you’re okay like,,, what do you think, sir? he keeps looking even though every time he does it doesn’t get any better? question mark? you can see him visibly gulping cause he’s in so much shock. like a 5/10 because he forgets to hold your hand. just stands there. eyes wide and mouth parted like a dumb fish. chokes back on his sobs when he hears his baby’s cries and it’s adorable how he brings his hand up to silence himself so maybe he’s a 7/10.

goshiki tsutomu; please he probably has a panic attack mid labor. definitely screams with you and all the nurses and the doctor are like ???? holds your hand tighter than you’re holding his. apologizes the whole time. the whole time. like the doctor asked him if he wants to see what’s happening, which idk why they would consider that a smart idea, and he just wailed like, “baby i’m so sorry, i’m so sorry, can we just adopt?” a 3/10. he’s so cute but. bring someone else if you don’t want to rip your hair out and his. 

kageyama tobio; he absolutely tries to pretend that he’s okay but he just gets really, really quiet once you start delivering and his lips are chapped and his pupils are blown and his face is so pale. he looks like he just got off of a really bad rollercoaster. he’s not even holding your hand you’re just hanging onto an unmoving, lifeless limb. maybe 6/10, cause he could be better in the supportive department but, at least he was quietly panicking. he does have a mini panic attack once his baby is in his arms though. like just starts hyperventilating. it’s okay though! it’s actually kind of cute <3

lev haiba; actually faints. not probably. he actually faints. like all 6′5 of him just drops onto the floor by your bed and you’re like ,,, damn, guess i’m doing this alone then. he wakes up and the first thing he sees is your baby crowning and he just faints again pls. someone has to be there with you, just like to help him to you. he cannot stand straight at all, he’s leaning on the bed the whole time. 5/10 because it genuinely makes you laugh it kind of makes the pain bearable. they have to get a chair in case he just falls back cause he’s just so dizzy pls.

━━ would be so fucking annoying. who the hell let them in this room? why did you agree to this? how are you going to raise a child with them? regrets. so many regrets. 

tanaka ryūnosuke; he’s like annoyingly scared. shut up and calm down for a minute i’m trying to birth your child here. swears so much like “holy shit holy shit that’s a big baby.” like pls you’re trying to push it out of you and he has the audacity to say shit like that? treats it like it’s some sort of volleyball match like he cheers whenever the doctor praises you. maybe a 5/10 cause he’s just annoying, but it’s motivating in a way. accepts any insult you throw at him too, like he’s so on board with it. “yes, i’m absolutely a piece of shit— what do you mean you’re not getting anywhere near my dick babe wait.”

bokuto kōtarō; listen :( you don’t want to think he’s annoying but he lowkey is. he’s trying his hardest to make this an easier experience for you but you just need him to be a little quieter. like this hurts bo, calm down please. you want to match his energy but it’s literally physically impossible. he’s an 8/10 though because you doubt it’d have been possible to go through it without him. bokuto’s incredibly ripped too so he lets you hang onto him and he holds you tightly too, like grips your hands and legs so strong that it’s v physically supportive too. 

kozume kenma; he’s so. quiet. like say something kozume. say anything. he’s just wincing and cringing. 4/10 cause where’s the emotion. lets you hold his hand, like wow you should be honored. insults you back if you insult him???? like what’s that about???? when he sees his baby he does like, sharply intake a breath or whatever cause he doesn’t want to cry but he’s really struggling not to, which is kind of cute you guess. films the whole thing and does like a peace sign with a very nonchalant face but he has a filter on and the filter scans your face too except you’re like screaming. actually a 3/10. 

sugawara kōshi; he’s incredibly supportive yes, but mans will be laughing at you. laughing. at you. probably films you and is like properly giggling and laughing boisterously. is so unfazed by anything and everything he sees. he would so easily be a 10/10 but he becomes a -1/10 just cause he’s an ass. definitely like is breathless and is so mind-blown when he sees his baby. just in awe and in shock that he laughs like, “we made that holy crap.” good to have in the delivery room because he does make the atmosphere easier and more lighthearted, but,,, at what cost? your sanity’s. 

suna rintarō; the amount of times you wanted to punch him you cannot count on your ten fingers. makes some sex joke about how you’re so stretched out. you literally want to deck him. films the birthing process and makes you watch the video when you’re not even done delivering the baby? cause he’s insane i guess? justifies it as “this is a reminder of how strong you are,” like shut up with your bullshit. it’s kinda smart tho cause you can pull this on your kid later but still. he’s so fucking annoying. if you hold his hand too hard he’ll be like “it can’t be that bad stop being such a baby,” and the baby is delivered like an hour early out of spite. a 6/10 tho cause somehow you love him and decided to have a baby with him. 

ushijima wakatoshi; pt.2 to say fucking something??? he’s mostly quiet cause he doesn’t really know what to say, and cause he’s never seen you in this much pain and it’s kind of shocking him. he’s not scared though, cause it’s like, a natural process of human life and the life cycle and all that stuff, he’s just like. taking time to process it. lets you hold his hand though. also if you wanna like give up halfway through he’s annoyingly angry with you like “no. you can’t just give up halfway. stop being a coward.” like why don’t you give it a try toshi??? a 5/10. could do better. 

terushima yuuji; so hyperactive that it’s infuriating. doesn’t even hold your hand, he just stands back and observes and like cheers. literally will jump every time you push, like what the fuck, my love? makes really weird comments like “what does it feel like? does it feel like you’re pooping?” like???? it feels like i’m being torn in half yu :D a 4/10 only cause when you ask if you can slap him he wholeheartedly agrees and the doctor cannot hold their laugh back. also definitely plays like the chika dance and makes the nurses do it with him. probably films a tiktok too. you’re going to kill him after. 

oikawa tōru; he’s trying so hard to be supportive and your backbone but he’s just so jittery and nervous. he’s not going to faint or get nauseous, but he literally cannot stay still. he’s so anxious it’s making you anxious. his hands are shaking when they grip yours, but honestly, completely unbiased of course, an 8/10, cause it really is so endearing. like he’s breathlessly and exasperatingly praising you and you can tell he’s near tears just gasping back sobs so ,,, maybe he’s not that annoying. but he is. he is annoying. a little. 

━━ would be the best of the best. perfectly supportive. a lovely anchor. not too quiet, not too chatty. is so soft and gentle with you. you fall in love with them all over again. 

miya osamu; definitely a 10/10. husband material. he has a cloth that’s just patting away at your sweat. kisses your hand and knuckles. soothingly rubs at your thighs. tells you you’re doing great, that it’ll all be worth it. kisses your forehead. grins at you halfway through when you need that extra motivation. literally all the nurses and the doctor are swooning over him. he’s very nervous deep down but he won’t show it, not for a moment, for your sake. 10/10. can’t stress this enough. 

kita shinsuke; another king! so soft with you when you feel like giving up. just speaks to you in hushed tones like, “you’ve come this far, lovely. you can’t back out now. think of all the happy moments we’ll get to share just a few hours from now.” and you’re like “alright i’m sold.” completely unfazed by anything he sees. okay maybe a little fazed but he just kisses your forehead after sneaking a peak and tells you you’re doing wonderfully. 100000/10. imagine him as the father of your children???? like literally who else would you want????

aran ojiro; wow another inarizaki i sense a trend. except atsumu he’s a pussy. cheers you on quietly, holds onto your legs, breathes with you, smooths your hair back, literally just an angel. if you take a small break he just spends it quietly talking with you to get your mind off the pain. his knuckles are just caressing your jaw and cheek softly till you’ve calmed down. 10/10 obviously. he’s just the right amount of loud supportive and quiet supportive. kisses you full on the mouth when he first hears his baby’s cries and can’t stop thanking you. literally wtf he’s so cute.

kuroo tetsurō; he’s actually surprisingly very serious when you’re delivering the baby. he’s cracking jokes and all before to try and get you less nervous but it’s actually because he’s freaking out. he’s mostly quiet, just holding onto your hand as tightly as you’re gripping his. he holds his breath every time you push. keeps whispering i love you and pressing kisses to your temple. a 9/10 cause he’s so quiet it’s a little scary but he cannot hold back his tears when he sees his baby. kisses you all over your face after. 

satori tendō; very emotional. like so emotional. he’s teary eyed the whole time, just thanking you even if you hadn’t given birth yet. it makes the nurses cry too cause it’s so lovely to see him get so visibly affected by this. he’s just whispering thank you’s and i promise not to let you down ever and i promise to love you forever and you’re pretty sure he’s speaking to the baby you’re birthing at this point. 9/10 cause he made you cry :( no but really he’s a 10/10. super loving, keeps asking you if you’re okay, if you need water, need to hold his hand, anything. angel, fr. 

matsukawa issei; relatively surprising as well because you expected him to be more than just annoying, but he’s just. in awe. he’s so amazed by how much you’re going through, and he just stores it in the back of his brain. literally thanks you for the next 50 years to come. laughs endearingly with you to lighten the mood. 9/10. a point is deducted because he jokingly said that now you’ll be able to take his dick really easily. a nurse choked in shock pls. gets real close after to whisper i love you so that only you can hear. he’s just a dream <3

━━ would not let you move an inch after giving birth. all the work is on them for the next 5 years. 

all of them. not a single one is left out in this one. they’re annoying but ,,, they all love very strongly <3

end note; listen idk what this is. i had a vision where iwaizumi could not handle his s/o giving birth and the thought was actually so sweet to me, just the nurses laughing at him and he’s just breathing deeply to try and not throw up and then. this happened. anyways. this helped put me in a better mood so i hope it does/did for anyone else too! 

[ssa-daddyhotchner]

The Struggle of Loving You - Chapter 23

Chapter Selection

"Are you passing all your classes", I grinned and groaned.

"Yes they're fine, all A's" I pulled the blanket up and tucked the sheets under the bed. Aaron walked over to me from the other side of the bed and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm just making sure you're okay... it's in a week you know."

I looked at him in his eyes, "Aaron, I know when my graduation is..."

"Who else is going?", I glanced at him in confusion and started walking out of the room. "What do you mean?" I went into the kitchen and started digging through the fridge. 

"Y/n I know I'm not the only one going to your graduation, your friends are going to be there with you. Did you not invite anyone else?"

I stood up and shut the fridge, I shook my head. "No other friends?, family? At least your parents." My head snapped to his, "Definitely not my parents." I took a step back, putting some distance between us. 

"Ok... ok, can I ask why?" 

"Not right now, can we stop taking about this. I just wanna get Jack and leave... please." We had to pick Jack up from Hayleys. I wasn't really on good terms with my parents, my siblings they lived everywhere and had their own things to worry about. 

I hadn't talked to them in a few years. It would just be awkward to have them there, probably silently judging me the whole time. That's only if they actually showed up. 

"Come on", he grabbed my hand and interlaced our fingers. I wasn't in the mood to talk anymore. 

The question just brought up too many old feeling that I'd rather not feel again. Aaron respected that and didn't try and force a conversation. He started the car and drove over the Hayleys. 

Pulling into the driveway we saw the familiar car parking out front. "He's still dating her." I mumbled. Jack ran out of the house and I helped him into the car, Hayley always avoided wanting to see us. We left right after not wanting to cause any problems. 

"Hi", he looked at Jack through the mirror. "Hey bud, how you doing?" He shrugged his shoulders, moving his bag to the empty seat next to him. "Okay I guess, they were fighting again this morning."

"Again?", Aaron glanced backwards. "Yeah, he was blaming her... I don't know I wasn't really listening." Jacks voice got lower and he rested his head on the window, looking at the passing cars. 

How did she think this was going to affect Jack... his parents got divorced cause of her mistake. A mistake that she was still with, even at Jacks age he's not dumb.

He knows what happened, at least I know I did. Aaron continued driving, he didn't want to go back home. Being the good dad he was, he tried to cheer Jack up. Taking him some place he's been wanting to go for a while now. 

He parked the car and we got out, Jack clung onto my hands. His face going from upset to happy in a matter of seconds. "Come on", Aaron led us inside the skating rink and we got our skates. "Do you need any help?", I asked Jack going over to the floor. "No I got it." 

Aaron and I hung back watching him try on his own. As soon as his foot hit the floor he fell. We were going to help but he insisted he was fine. We stayed, watching him try and get the hang of it. 

"Let's go", I grabbed Aarons hand and he didn't move. I snapped my head to look at him, he shook his head. "Not happening." 

I chuckled, "Is this why you didn't put on the skates, cause you don't know how to." 

"I know how", I let go of his hand and went onto the rink without him. "Oh yeah Hotchner— prove it." I joined Jack and we went around in circles, constantly passing Aaron. Leaning against the wall I went by him and pecked his lips. 

A smile formed on his face and he dipped his head down.

Groaning to himself muttering, "This is so stupid." He sat down and threw on the skates. 

Going in another circle I went to look at Aaron but he wasn't there. I felt someone grab my hand and my first instinct was to punch.

The hand grabbed my fist and brought it down to my side, "That's a little violent." I face palmed and laughed with relief, "Sorry about that, and look at you. Couldn't pass it up huh." 

"Yeah you know it just looked like too much fun to hang back." I started showing off going backwards and watching Jack come up behind Aaron. ___________________

"Ready?", I looked at myself in the mirror. I let out a shaky breath, "Hell no, what if I trip on stage cause this gown is too long." 

Putting his head on top of mine, he kissed the top of my head. "Then I better get a video of it, show it to every—." 

I turned around and smacked his shoulder, "Don't you dare." I said playfully. "Since when did you start to think you can tell me what to do?" My mouth turned upwards, "When I clearly became the better one in this relationship."

We walked out of the bedroom and into the living room, "Now I'm not going to be up there with you, try not embarrass yourself." My face when still with a very small smirk, "Yes sir." 

I went through the door and into my car. I left Aaron's going to my apartment. 

I was going to try and get ready with Chloe, it started in less than three hours. Driving I walked up the stairs and unlocked the door. Anthony and Andrew were sitting in the kitchen, enjoying the food that was in the fridge. "Look who's here, where have you been?" 

I raised my eyebrows at them both, them started laughing, "Never mind." 

I hummed and headed to my room, getting the gown from the back of my door. "Chloe!", I called out waiting for a response. She came with the clothes she was going to wear. 

"What?"

"Where's the pair of heels you gave me?", she rested on the doorframe. "The black ones?" 

"Yeah can I get those", she left and gave me the shoes. I went through my closet and grabbed the black skin tight dress I had and threw on the heels. 

Applying some light makeup I walked back out to the guys, "Oh shit, look who's actually trying." 

"Oh fuck off, how do I look?", I spun around, facing them again. "Like if I didn't know you I'd be trying to hook up with you." I chuckled and placed a hand on my chest, "Aww that's so sweet." The guys were already finished getting ready.

Wearing a white button up and a pair of khakis.

We had a little more than an hour to get to the ceremony. "Chloe come on." I heard the clicking of her heels and she came out to us. Her appearance matched mine and we all walked out together and drove over. 

Getting out of the car, we saw the crowd of people outside and the amount of cars. Inside was worse, there were people everywhere, Chloe and I went into the bathroom and put on our cap and gown. "You ready?"

I let out a deep sigh, "Nope... but we kind of have to so, let's go." We took our time walking to the chairs we were assigned to. I turned my head trying to look for Hotch, when he texted.

Aaron - More to the left

Cocking my head to the side, there he was. Smiling at me, I could see how proud he was in his eyes. We waved and both of us turned our attention back to the stage. The principle stepped on and started talking. I had zoned out for the majority of the graduation.

Just wanting to get it over with, my body was filled with anxiety. Even through we practiced a hell of a lot I still never felt prepared. The valedictorian started and I really didn't pay any attention to that. I always hated her, her name was Allison and she just always. went. on and on about— well everything.

I found her voice grating. "Now we will go on and start with the class of 2011." I whispered to myself, "Oh shit." One by one the students walked across the stage.

And the closer they got to me the more my heart raced. The more my face got red, thankfully the makeup was hiding most of it.

"Chloe Prescott", he called her up. As she got up she shook my hand and mumbled, "Good luck." Chloe walked away and shook the hands of everyone on stage. She got off and they took her picture. I saw her go over to Aaron and say something into his ear.

What the hell. "Y/n L/n", whatever it was I didn't have the time to think about it when they called my name. I got up, trying not to collapse where I stood.

Grabbing my degree from the principle I thanked all of them and walked off. That was it, I was out of it never realizing I was already standing next to Aaron.

"Congratulations", I huffed and smiled looking at him. Still being in front of everyone I couldn't do what I really wanted. Staying until it was over I was joined by my friends in the lobby.

"You're coming out with us tonight no exceptions", Anthony pointed at me. Aaron looked down as he started walking away. "Hold on", I went over to him, leaving the group. 

"Where do you think you're going?"

"I don't want to keep you from them", I put a reassuring hand on his. "Aaron... you're not keeping me. I want my boyfriend there to celebrate with me, you're going."

___________________

Permeant taglist : @errorcosplay67 @wanniiieeee @oreogutz @aberrant-annie @filthyq-tip-blog @hotch-meeeeeuppppp 

[era-of-new-beginnings]

The Tragic Suicide of Virgil Black Ch. 2

TW: Bullying, Panic Attack, Violence (just a punch), Minor Negligence, Self-Deprecation, Swearing, Unsympathetic Deceit and Remus.

Damien is Deceit* (This was made before the new video so I will start to use Deceit’s real name in the next chapter, but for now I don't want to have spoilers for the new video in case people haven't watched it.)

---------------------------------------------------------

Okay so, Dear Journal, today had started out as a pretty normal day. Until it turned into an utter shit show! One bad thing after another and now I’m just sitting on my bedroom floor writing in this stupid thing….I guess if I’m going to do this whole tell my story thing, I should start at the beginning of the day.

Like I said, it was normal, and right on time Damien and his buds came up to me while I was walking to school.

~

Virgil was walking down the same path he does everyday, as he had learned a while ago changing paths never stopped Damien. It was almost normal when he and his goonies walked right next to him. He barely had time to react as he was shoved harshly into a fence, the metal digging into his shoulder and his head knocking on it a little. His face scrunched up in a wince before he could stop it, and he wasn’t surprised to find that they had taken his bag.

All of them reaching in and grabbing whatever they could, before throwing it to the ground. He just sighed internally as the (cliche) bullies continued. Eventually, they finally got bored, and with one final shove to him they were on their way. He crouched down gingerly and started to pick up whatever they had thrown out, which was basically everything.

Once that was done he got up and finished walking to our meet up spot with everyone else. They were all there already, Logan and Roman bickering about something and Patton trying to make sure it stayed peaceful. He sighed softly with a bit of a smile before covering it up and walking over to them.

He can see when Patton notices my presence, not only because he perks up like a dog but also because he basically slaps the other two on their chests. Virgil smirks and raises an eyebrow at Roman’s offended noises. Finally both him and Logan gives him their attention, which makes him blush and hope that his foundation covers it. “..Hey guys” He mumbled quietly, which wasn’t out of the ordinary really. His anxiety made it hard for him to talk at school at all but these three always knew how to get close to people.

After getting a chorus of responses back, the bell rings and they all go their separate ways. Except for Virgil and Patton, since they shared first period together. Something was off today though, something was wrong with Patton. Patton liked to keep up his dad like personality, and anytime they walked anywhere together Patton would make a pun or two (or few). Not only that but he had been fidgeting with the sleeves of the cardigan wrapped around his shoulders, which he only did….when he was hiding something.

Not realizing Virgil’s internal turmoil about it, Patton began to get uncomfortable with the silence and started to ramble about the first thing that popped in his mind. Which of course, had to be Winnie the Pooh. Practically regressing into a younger state of mind as if that will make him stop thinking about whatever was bothering him. Virgil had known him long enough to remember his ticks and fidgets. How to tell when he was lying, or nervous, or pretending to be happy.

The thing was, Patton hadn’t lied to them since they’d shared a night crying in each other's arms about their lives. He can feel the pressure in his chest at the thought. Why now? Why would Patton lie to him now, what was so bad he felt like he couldn't tell Virgil. He was sitting now, in a desk in his class. His class….what class was he in? He had to get out, he had to go. He stood up on shaky legs and slipped out the classroom door unnoticed.

Barely making it to the bathroom before collapsing, digging his nails into his arms, his hands moving back and forth between that and tugging (practically ripping) his hair. His chest felt constricting and everything felt wrong. There was an unknown pressure just pressing against every inch of his body. He stayed there for the rest of the period and some of the next one. He wanted to go home, but he knew his mother was at work and would yell at him for just randomly calling in.

So instead, he did the next best thing. He went to the detention teacher's class, knocking lightly on the doorframe as Mr. Sanders looked up at him. They shared a brief bit of eye contact before Mr. Sanders nodded to him and let him into the room. He took up his usual seat in the corner while Mr. Sanders called his teachers to get his assignments.

He stayed there, working silently until lunch. Part of him just wanted to stay where he was, in seclusion, away from any and all people. Especially his three crushes, they would know instantly something was wrong with him and wouldn't let up till they knew. Still, he must've scared Patton earlier by just disappearing.

So instead he just buckled up and grabbed his bag and headed out the door and through the hallway. Trying to calm himself and seem normal by the time he got to the table. Par for the course, Roman was adamantly talking about theatre like usual. Only recently had he roped Patton and Logan into it too. Virgil however had refused aadamatly, saying that he just didn't want to when the reality was he couldn't do after school things much cause he had to help out his mother and Remy.

He sat down at the table, head tilted so his hoodie would hide most of his face. He draws lightly in his sketchbook while barely listening to the conversation until he hears Roman say his name for the third time. Attention gotten, Virgil looks up at Roman’s face in confusion. He realizes that Roman had been talking to him, so he closes his sketchbook to silently say he's listening now.

Roman huffs and gestures wildly to Virgil “see? This is exactly what im talking about! He doesn't even care!” He sneers at Virgil and Virgil can feel the sharp feeling in his chest at the words. “W-what?” he asks, stuttering slightly in surprise. Roman throws his hands up, frustrated “You are stubborn as ever, ignoring me? Seriously? I get that you don't want to be in the theatre but you didn't even hear me out!”

Theatre, of course it was about the stupid fucking theatre. Virgil just sighs and shakes his head “Roman I’m not trying to ignore you, i've just had a bad day. I spaced out, I’m sorry.” And Roman just…. just barks a sharp laugh and glares “we all have bad days Virgil, that doesn't give you a right to be rude to everyone around you. You know what i think? I think that your a self-obsessed asshole! You don't think about anybody but yourself! I mean really, I knew you haven't liked me since the beginning but if you hate me so much, why didn't you just say so!”

Virgil could feel his hands shaking, whether with panic or rage was unknown for now. His shoulders were curled and risen defensively and he had gathered himself enough to glare harshly instead of bawling. He slammed his hands down on the table “of course you think that! I haven't even done anything wrong and yet your spouting nonsense! You didn't even ask why because you were so focused on insulting me and making me the bad guy. Like you always fucking do! I can't believe I ever thought that you'd changed! You are such an arrogant pompous bastard!”

He quickly stood, haphazardly shoving stuff in his backpack while the others gathered from their shock. Patton was the first to recover slightly, scrambling for words “o-okay now kiddos, both of you are spitting out some real harsh things. And over what? So why don't we just- just sit back down and talk through this minor dispute!”. Roman slammed his own hands down on the table, ignoring Patton ``Speak for yourself! You have no right to be mad at me! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

Virgil just growls, throws on his backpack and goes to walk away. But of course, Roman wasn't one for being ignored. So instead he grabbed Virgil's wrist before he could go any further. Virgil himself felt a spike of fear at the touch and was set instantly on edge “Let go!” he yelled viciously. But Roman only sneered back, ranting on and on, his grip tightening on Virgil's wrist anytime he struggled. Virgil snapped and yelled at him a few times but Roman just rolled his eyes and continued. Virgil was at the peak of his panic and wasn’t standing for it anymore as he teared back and punched Roman in the jaw, effectively making him let go as Virgil turns and books it out of the school and doesn't stop until he’s home.

His breaths are panicked and short and his vision was already starting to blur with sweat and tears. He manages to get to the bathroom before all but collapsing on the floor. Tearing at his hair and scratching his arms. Breathing was nonexistent and he could hear his thoughts spiral violently. Who knew if Roman would forgive him after this or if the others would take his side if he didn’t. He’d lose not only his only friends, but his three crushes. He stays there for hours and hours until he can hear the front door click, signaling that his mother is home.

Shoving himself off the floor and checking himself in the mirror (He looked dead) before fixing himself up to be presentable and going downstairs. He mumbled a quick hello to his mother before helping her with the groceries. He could see her strained smile as she thanked him. He just gives an awkward shrug before finishing putting things away, except for what they were going to use for dinner. He gets the required pans out to start cooking, him and his mom tending to switch cooking nights.

Remy isn’t home yet, but that's not unusual. He’s not even sure if his mom realizes his absence anymore. His hands tighten on the wooden spoon he's using to stir the noodles with. He reminds himself to breathe and not think like that. His mother provides for him, and that's more than enough. He's not ungrateful really, just worries sometimes that she doesn't love them.

After finishing up dinner, he sets the table and serves up the food. Pulling out his phone real quick to text Remy, although he knows that he’ll have to save him food in the fridge. If he even eats that to be honest, though if he doesn't either him or his mom can have that for lunch. They finish up their dinner in silence until his mom retires for bed after a long day and he gets a start on dishes. After those are done he trails up to his room and flops onto his bed. Sighing heavily he shifts to get comfortable and catches a glimpse of the journal on his desk. Thinking back to the reason he has it, he sighs once again and grabs the journal and a pen and starts to write.

~

Dear Journal, what the fuck is wrong with me!? This entire day was like a train wreck in slow motion and I don't even know why! I don't know what Patton's hiding from me or why. And I don't even know what made Roman blow a short fuse. Here I was starting to think he might actually like me, platonic or not, but i guess i was wrong. What do I do? Apologize to Roman or ask Patton about what he’s hiding?

-------------------------------------------------------

So! What do you guys think!? Also your first real option to change the story! Apologize to Roman or ask Patton about what he’s hiding? Lemme know in the comments, the one that gets the most comments will determine the answer. Also send me asks on tumblr! @era-of-new-beginnings

[surveystodestressme]

47.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 8

701. What is your favorite mixed drink? i like sex on the beach a lot but i honestly like a lot of mixed drinks 702. When answering these questions are you often pulled in different directions, as if committing to one answer eliminates the possibility for all others? nahh, i try not to put too much thought into my decisions lol 703. Chicken Mesala, Pasta Primavera, Veal Cutlet Parmesan or Linguini with Clam Sauce? i don’t know what any of these are.  i guess pasta primavetra 704. If you were alone in your friend’s house/room/apartment would you look in their drawers and notebooks? i’d probably just watch tv

705. What would you really like to do but you don’t because you are afraid of getting caught? gamble??? lol idk

706. Of the following, which word best describes you: responsible: this one i guess spontaneous: tactful: uninhbited: 707. Which band would you most likely check out? The Smiths (indi-pop 80’s-90’s) probably this one The Lords of Acid (acid/house/dance 90’s) Front 242 (80’s-90’s industrial/dance) 708. How can one put an end to procrastination, as a bad habit? commit to everything that you ever need to get done 709. What feature would you want on your car that is not currently offered? well, i don’t have a car but if i did i would want bluetooth so i can always listen to my own music 710. What kind of poetry speaks to you? i don’t like poetry 711. What is your favorite store that is open 24 hours? uh... walmart? i guess 712. Do you find that sleep is just so much sleepier when you are supposed to be doing something else? absolutely 713. Do you also find that the books you chose are so much more luscious when you have a stack of actual assignments that you Should be reading? lol i mean kind of? 714. If you have had the chance to compare the original 5000 Question Survey to this edited version, what is your opinion? i haven’t done the originial so i have no idea honestly 715. What’s the most creative answer you can think of for ‘what is black and white and red all over’? a sunburnt penguin 716. Why do people slow down on the highway when they pass a cop car pulling someone else over? just to be cautious, i guess 717. Are they afraid that the cop will STOP pulling over whoever he is pulling over and pull them over instead? possible, i guess 718. It’s daddy’s birthday. What do you get him? something sports related 719. What’s your 5,000 question survey nickname? Look at the word next to the 2nd letter of your first name A anything but B bubalicious C captivating D deadly E erotic F funky G greasy H heaps of I indie J jelly K kinetic L lasher M Mr. (or Mrs.) N neglected O ogre-like P parading Q quacking R Rico S stinky T the one and only U uber V Velcro W wishing for X x-tra Y yearning for Z zoobalee Now take the first letter of your last name. A aardvarks B baboo C creme pie D drag queen E eggbert F flex G god H hell I Isabelle J juice K kisses L lightning M mannish boys N nice O octopi P porcupines Q q-bert R rainbows S suave T tushy U underwear V valor W weenie X xtc Y yohimbe Z zipper Put the two words together for your nickname. indie creme pie 720. You know that shaky feeling that you get when it’s all coming to a climax, and everyone involved is breaking into the good kind of cold sweat, working as individuals and at the same time as a single force of energy, and it all meshes together, and for a brief moment, you’re holding your breath and tingling all over, and after it’s done you’re on an explosive and dizzying high for the rest of the night? What does that feeling come from? drugs prolly 721. How many of your teachers can you imagine drinking or doing drugs on the weekends? definitely some of my high school teachers 722. Do you like Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass? i like alice in wonderland 723. Write a question and answer it here. what do you want to be doing right now? eating 724. Who is your favorite playwright? i don’t have one 725. What movie has come out recently that you couldn’t have less interest in? there are so many lol 726. What would the worst movie ever be about? poop 727. Do you like truffles? Do you like Turkish delight? not a huge chocolate person 728. Can you tell the difference between a transvestite and a real woman? it doesn’t really matter if i can or not 729. What’s funnier, plants or fire extinguishers? lol neither? 730. For question 720 did you write down sex? You pervert, I was thinking of musical theater. i didn’t actually 731. Which is better, leopard print or plaid? plaid for sure 732. What would you consider ordinary? blondes 733. What is out of the ordinary? dogs with sweaters 734. Do you ever watch COPS? I FUCKING LOVE COPS 735. Is there always room for j - e - l - l - o? i hate jello 736. If you had your own TV show, what kind of show would you make it? a horror drama 737. Do you know how heavy things like airplanes stay in the air? buoyancy??? idk if that even makes sense 738. When do you act the most dramatic? every single day of my entire life 739. Are you one of those people who have, “see photo id,” written on the back of their credit cards? i don’t think so 740. It’s mom’s birthday. What do you get her? she’s hard to shop for so idk, i’d probably ask 741. What celebrity has pretty much disappeared leaving you wondering 'where are they now’? amanda bynes 742. Would you get angry if you and your girl/boyfriend saw the preview for a movie and talked about seeing it together and then they saw it with one of their friends while you were busy? jack has done that before lol.  except with his mother and i was a lil mad because we talked about seeing it and he went without me but it ended up being a good movie and he took me later that week or something 743. How many people do you think will finish this whooooooole survey? not many, i’d say 744. Have you ever written a message, sealed it in a bottle and thrown it into a river/lake ocean? nah. 745. If you haven’t would you want to? sure 746. If you ever did what would you write? something significant 747. What do you wish you could always be protected from? death 748. What small thing annoys you so much it should be a crime? when people chew with their mouth open 749. Would you rather watch a video of fish in a tank, or the Yule log on TV? fish in a tank 750. Is it better to be loved or feared? loved 100% 751. What causes you to panic? lots of things man 752. Do you believe that you have a strong personality? i think so? unless that’s a bad thing lol 753. When Jesus saves souls…does he trade them in for valuable prizes? idfk man, do i look like jesus? 754. What resolutions would you make if it were new years? lose weight or at least get in better shape 755. Why wait? bc i’m lazy 756. Do you feel like time is on your side or working against you? working against me most of the time 757. What do you do for yourself when you are down to put a little joy back into your life? watch something or read something 758. How much Tolkien have you read? i don’t even know what that is 759. These are the songs on the radio. Which are you most likely to listen to: Time Bomb by Rancid Dead Man’s party by Oingo Boingo The Sun Always Shines on TV by A-ha this one 50 Ways to leave Your Lover by Paul Simon Run by collective Soul 760. Do you believe that Jesus existed as a real person? no 761. Do you believe he was the son of god? idfk dude 762. How do you feel about organized religion? i don’t care 763. What sentence have you heard lately, that would sound pretty odd out of context? idk 763. If you had to choose one image to be a symbol of our times, what would you pick? a cat 764. Name a group of people: crowd 765. How many of them does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hopefully 766. Do you like the movie The Labyrinth with David Bowie and some muppets? never seen it 767. Do you like the movie The Dark Crystal? never seen it. 768. Metallica or Guns N’ Roses? metallica 769. Do you follow the Chinese zodiac? i used to 770. Do you like reggae music? not really. 771. What makes your life worth it every day? getting to see the ones i love 772. Do you seize each day and sink your teeth into it? sure 773. I’ve heard people say that Jim Morrison never yawned because he was just so full of life. How often do you yawn? every single day 774. Who decides what behavior is 'crazy’ or 'sane’? anyone who wants to i suppose 775. Who are the most inspiring artists, musicians, poets, and writers? oh there’s tons.  robin williams was always an inspiration to me and so was van gogh. 776. Did anything historically significant happen in the year you were born? not that i know of 777. Besides blowing out birthday candles when do you make wishes? on shooting stars whenever i see them 778. Are you self-sufficient? i try to be 779. Is it better to be wanted or needed? wanted 780. What do you feel is an appropriate age to lose one’s virginity at? whenever they are ready 781. Do you feel that the appropriate age for girls and for boys is different? no 782. Are you a hard person to get to know? i don’t think so.  i’m an open book 783. What is the craziest thing you have ever done out of anger? hurt myself 784. What’s the MOST annoying sound you can think of? nails on a chalkboard 785. What’s the silliest vegetable you can think of? idk 786. Do you believe in love at first sight? not really 787. Name one thing you have referred to in the past as “better than sex”: food lol 788. What do you see when you turn out the light? it’s dark so probably not a lot 789. Do you like jazz, blues and/or swing music? nope 790. Do you prefer gold or silver jewelry? silver 791. In what ways do you want your children to be like you? i don’t want children 792. In what ways would you want your children to be different from you? ^ 793. What was the scariest movie you’ve ever seen? back when i was little freddy kreuger scared the actual shit out of me 794. What was the funniest movie you’ve ever seen? grown ups or horrible bosses 795. What was the worst movie you’ve ever seen? the haunting of molly hartley 796. Are you a good massage-giver? i think so. 797. What is one question that no one can ever truthfully answer 'yes’ to? if they know everything 798. Is there more to this world than human beings can perceive? of course there is 799. If matter is neither created nor destroyed then is it possible that you are made up of molecules that once made up Ghandi or Jesus or Einstein? sure why not? 800. Are you often sarcastic? pretty often.