#except andrew who is just curious

[jeanmoreaue]

All AFTG characters ranked by how likely they are to read RPF fic of themselves/people they know

1. Andrew - he would read Andrew/Neil fic but is probably more likely to watch Neil thirst edits on tiktok. he would never admit it but he scrolled across a “Neil Josten’s ass jiggling on court” compilation one time and he was like this is stupid…👀

2. Jean - he would be so deeply ashamed about it but yes

3. Renee - i would’ve ranked her higher but considering there wouldn’t be a lot of Jean/Renee fanfic in-universe she’s going here

4. Jeremy - i almost wanted to rank him #1 bc thanks to @allforthegayphase i believe that Jeremy is 100% the type to find his english class crush’s baby photos by stalking his mom on facebook. BUT i think that Jeremy would be like omg is this crossing a line 😔 when it comes to rpf (but would be curious and read it)

5. Nicky - i could see Nicky reading Kevin smut

6. Neil - he may not be technologically savvy, but he’s here lest we forget his Kevin stalker binder. Neil seems like he’s very curious about what other people say about him so i don’t think he’d read it for pleasure he’s just like “i need to know”

7. Allison - she finds it funny when she comes across it

8. Matt

9. Dan

10. Kevin - i really wanted to rank Kevin higher bc i think it would be funny + Kevin is very aware of the effect he has on other people therefore i might think he would enjoy reading other people’s fanfic of himself. but i just think Kevin would be like “this is stupid. why would i date a fan named y/n”

11. Aaron - does not care also probably has no fanfic about himself and would loathe the idea of Kevin Day or Neil Josten fanfic

[marybeatriceofmodena]

What did Andrew Lloyd Webber do to make Patti Lupone upset? Sorry, saw your tags and i was curious

Oh.

Oh honey.

You sweet child.

Anyway, get ready for one of the most infamous showdowns in all musical theatre history, with the guy who writes the straightest musicals on Broadway (derogatory) and the one and only, the matriarch, the queen, two three-time Tony award winner Patti LuPone.

So, Andrew Lloyd Webber was basically kind of a boy genius in his prime - he met his future collaborator Tim Rice when they were 17 and 20 respectively, he wrote his first big hit, Jesus Christ Superstar, at 22, with Tim Rice writing the lyrics. And it was kind of a big deal at the time because the topic was controversial (you know, the Passion with rock music), but also because Broadway wasn't that far off from its golden age and let's just say the music and style were very different from, say, My Fair Lady. Or The Sound of Music. Or Funny Girl. It was basically the Rent/Hamilton of its time. (Yeah, Stephen Sondheim was around at that time, he worked on West Side Story which was revolutionary in of itself, but he's kind of an oddball in this case. You'll understand why later.)

Their real follow up (I'm not counting Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat for a variety of reasons) was a little musical called Evita, which you might know mainly because of a song called Don't Cry For Me Argentina. Or at least, your mom has probably heard it once at the very least. It's that song that's oversung from a musical while being out of context along with I Dreamed a Dream for Les Misérables. Or Memory from Cats.

Evita tells the story of Eva Peron, the wife of an Argentinian dictator, who basically screws her way to the top and ends up becoming the mistress of Juan Peron and the most beloved woman in her country through guile and deceit. Yes, I know the historical accuracy is very much debated but I know jackshit about Argentina's history except the bare basics so don't come at me. It was first produced in the West End in London, with Elaine Paige in the role, but because of Equity issues, she couldn't reprise her role for the Broadway production. So a Julliard graduate who was mostly starring in David Mamet plays got the part instead, and that was Patti LuPone.

Patti... did not have a good time during Evita, because the part is basically the kind of score where you can tell the composer is used to writing male parts, but most female singers have a two-octave range (yes, you got Julie Andrews who used to have a three-octave range, and many others, but they're exceptions), so she struggled a lot. That being said, if you listen to live recordings of her, you wouldn't be able to tell, and it got a lot easier later on. But she had this to say:

"Evita was the worst experience of my life. I was screaming my way through a part that could only have been written by a man who hates women. And I had no support from the producers, who wanted a star performance onstage but treated me as an unknown backstage. It was like Beirut, and I fought like a banshee."

This is from Patti's autobiography, which she wrote in 2007 - 8 years after shit with ALW went down. With all that said, she won a Tony Award for Evita, and she pretty much became a musical theatre household name from then on. She played Fantine in Les Misérables, Nancy in Oliver!, Reno Sweeney in Anything Goes. Meanwhile, ALW's next big hits were Cats (I'm not even kidding, Cats was a hit), and, you guessed it, The Phantom of the Opera, which he wrote in part to showcase his then wife Sarah Brightman's triple threat talents.

So, you need to understand before I continue that ALW, from my perspective, has always had a bit of an inferiority complex. He's basically associated to writing these commercially successful musicals that show a big spectacle but aren't ultimately substantial. I'm not sure I entirely agree with that, but I do think that if he didn't have Hal Prince, Maria Bjornson, Charles Hart and Gillian Lynne backing him up for Phantom, it would have probably been a Rocky Horror Picture Show knockoff people would have forgotten about pretty quickly. This is what I mean:

Yep, that was Phantom before any of the people I mentioned above (and Michael Crawford) were really involved.

Remember how I said Stephen Sondheim was an oddball? The thing with him is that his musicals weren't always commercially successful, but in general, in part thanks to being Leonard Bernstein's protégé, he was generally pretty well-respected and it was considered that his work was bringing musicals to a whole other level. Without Sondheim, you wouldn't have Jonathan Larson, and you wouldn't have Lin-Manuel Miranda. I am convinced ALW is resentful of that, and when you stop and think about it for more than 10 seconds, it's so obvious he REALLY wants to be Sondheim or at least command the same level of respect, but that's a story for another day.

So, after Phantom, ALW had other musicals that followed that either got a meh reception or outright flopped. Then there was Sunset Boulevard, which is based on the movie of the same name with Gloria Swanson. Despite all of her griefs for Evita, Patti LuPone agreed to partake in the musical as Norma Desmond, for its production in London, with the promise that she would transfer to Broadway once that production would open. And overall, after a string of flops, Sunset was actually doing pretty well.

HOWEVER. One day, while reading the gossip column of a newspaper, Patti found out that contrary to what she was promised, Glenn Close, who was meanwhile starring as Norma in the Los Angeles production, was to play Norma on Broadway. That was a complete surprise for her since no one on the production team had bothered to tell her it was happening - and keep in mind that for the news to come up the way it did in a gossip column, it probably would have necessitated a delay of a few weeks between the producers and the newspaper, which would have given them plenty of time to break the news to Patti. And Patti kind of needed the leg up because she was pretty bitter that a) Madonna was cast in the Evita adaptation instead of her; b) they actually lowered the key to fit Madonna's voice range, and she still had to expand her own to be able to sing the (lowered) score. And trust me, Patti is mad about it to this day.

So of course, she trashed her dressing room, the cast and crew weren't even mad about it because they were as shocked and angered as she was by the news. Patti sued Andrew Lloyd Webber for breach of contract, namely for 1 MILLION DOLLARS (yup, those are the real numbers), won, used the money she got from the lawsuit to get a swimming pool, which she called (and I SHIT YOU NOT) the Andrew Lloyd Webber Memorial Pool. Since then, Webber is dead to her, to the point rumor has it she had part of a building blocked during an event so she could get out of it without coming across Webber, because she hates him so flipping much she doesn't even want to be in the same building as the guy.

(There's also drama that happened with Faye Dunaway who was supposed to replace Glenn Close after she went from Los Angeles to Broadway, except they abruptly closed the show down after Close left, but that's a story for another day)

So with all the bad press, and with ALW forced to pay 1 million dollars for Patti's lawsuit, that led Sunset's productions to close earlier than expected. ALW has stayed around since, with... mitigated output, so to say. The lowest point for a lot of people is Love Never Dies, the sequel to Phantom, which some people love, and that's fine, but it didn't do well with either critics nor fans of the original show, which ALW is EXTREMELY BUTTHURT ABOUT. And like, there are so many stories I could tell about LND alone, but I will share my own crack theory about it, since it does relate to the ask.

Anyway, buckle up.

So. There have been jokes going around for years that the Phantom in LND is basically ALW's self-insert, where he displays to the world that he's totally not over Sarah Brightman leaving him (in part because making Phantom kinda ruined their marriage lmao), despite, you know, having married since. (Aaaaaakward.) So LND basically becomes this really uncomfortable therapy session where a man writes a self-insert musical about how his ex-wife made a big mistake of leaving a sensitive artistic soul such as himself. The characters from Phantom who appear in LND are all more or less unrecognizable as a result, and one who gets it worse (in my humble opinion) is Meg Giry, who was basically Christine's sweet and loyal ballerina friend who basically went into the Phantom's lair on her own to save her friend despite the danger. In LND, she's basically a bitter hag (because ALW hates women, guess Patti was right about that), who really likes the swim and even has a stripping vaudeville number about it, written in universe by the Phantom, no less.

For comparison, here's Don Juan Triumphant (the Phantom's opera in the original):

And here's Bathing Beauty (the vaudeville number):

Yeah, so... do you see why people hate LND already?

And that's not the only thing with Meg! She's also pining for the Phantom to pay attention to her and threatens to drown the Phantom and Christine's secret love child when he makes it clear that he's gonna love Christine for EVA AND EVA.

So, with everything we learned today about ALW, would someone like him view someone like Patti LuPone as some sort of crazy, bitter diva who's obsessed with him for whatever reason? Absolutely. Would he be petty enough to insert Patti LuPone into his self-insert musical, which gave us the version of Meg Giry we got in LND? Of course. Why does Meg love to swim so much and why does she drag Gustave out ostensibly for a swim? Is it a dig at Patti's Andrew Lloyd Webber Memorial Pool? Maybe.

I kind of hope we find out one day if that theory is true. And maybe start a kickstarter so Patti can add this painting from the 2004 movie in her collection.

Fun fact: during the process of casting for the 2004 movie adaptation of POTO, ALW allegedly suggested Patti LuPone to play Carlotta... only for Joel Schumacher to have to awkwardly remind him that they were not on speaking terms. The idea was therefore promptly dropped.

[aledethanlast]

Sometimes at night I dream about an au where Wymack is Nathan's twin brother.

Bear with me.

David and Nathan are identical twins, but still look eerily alike until they grow older. David is older by twenty minutes, and the one who leaves their shifty parents first and is all too happy to leave his twin behind too. He's quick to change his name and they lose track of each other's existence long before either of them move to America.

He doesnt recognize Neil, when the file lands on his desk—he doesn't look too much like his twin as an adult, not that he would know that, having last seen the guy when they were 16—but something about Neil's photo is enough to get him curious.

Neil, of course, sees Wymack irl for the first time and freaks the FUCK out. Kevin being there Does Not Help, and Neil says a lot of shit that sends everyone's alarm bells ringing, just because he thinks he's already been caught. Except Kevin is as Kevin does and won't shut up about exy, and Andrew sticks out from the rest of this nightmare like a sore thumb, and eventually they manage to calm Neil down enough for him to realize that his father never had those tattoos. Or dressed like that, not even when he needed a shirt he didn't mind ruining.

Neil can just barely bring himself to look at the tattoos while he signs the contract. It's the only thing keeping him calm enough to stand in Wymack's presence. The offer to live in his house is refused so loudly it makes Neil jump at his own voice. Andrew thinks this is hilarious. Kevin is already exasperated.

But the itch at the back of Wymack's head is getting more persistent, more familiar, tracing back years tics and habits and what faint serene memories he has of childhood, doing the math and...oh shit is this my kid?

Well, according to the paternity test he discreetly sends out a few weeks after Neil arrives at Palmetto, yes.

[sjsmith56]

Still Friends

Summary: One shot. Two years after breaking up, the OFC calls her ex-boyfriend, Bucky, for help after her current boyfriend assaults her.

Length: 4.5 K

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, OFC (unnamed and undescribed), OMC (named, undescribed)

Warnings: Contains description of abusive behaviour and physical assault. OFC experiences angst after realizing leaving Bucky was a mistake.

Author notes: This is nurturing Bucky, who also shows some restraint by accepting his ex-girlfriend needed to work out her issues without pressure from him.

📱 🍨 ❤️‍🩹

As far as breakups go it wasn’t a bad one. There were still tears on both sides but there were also hugs after I told Bucky that I didn’t think we had a future together. Between my job as a travelling sales representative and his work an Avenger we didn’t see each other much. The sex was great, but it wasn’t enough to base a real relationship on. He was sad about my decision, but he helped me pack my things that I had left at his place, and we talked about where we went sideways. There was no blame; it was just how it went. As I stood at the door and hugged him again, he bent his head down and whispered in my ear.

“If you ever need me, I’ll be there for you. We’re still friends, sweetheart. That will never change.”

That was almost two years ago. A few months later, I accepted a job as a regional sales manager, in another city. There was less travel and I had time to date. Nothing serious developed but I was okay with that. Bucky was in the news every so often, only now the news stories were about the Avenger Bucky Barnes and not the former Winter Soldier. I was so proud of him and occasionally sent him a text message congratulating him on a job well done. He would send back pictures of him and Sam with the team they had assembled. He looked happy and I was glad for him.

Then I met a guy, Bryce Andrews, a very charming pharmaceutical sales manager. We hit it off quickly. Looking back now, maybe it was a bit too quickly, but at the time it just seemed like things were falling into place at the right moment. It wasn’t until Bucky and Sam were on a publicity tour of various cities and contacted me to arrange to meet up that things with Bryce took a turn.

We were at dinner in a restaurant. During the time between our plates being cleared and our desserts arriving I received a text message, and several more in a row.

“Excuse me,” I said, grabbing my phone. “Someone must need me.”

I looked. They started from Bucky: Going to be in your city next week for some publicity. Can we get together? That was followed by a text from Sam with the same message. Then texts from both asking if now was a bad time to call, since I hadn’t responded.

“Who is it?” asked Bryce, seeming curious, but good natured about the interruption.

“Oh, Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes,” I replied. “They’re coming on a publicity tour and wanted to get together. Do you mind if I call them?”

He blinked his eyes, then narrowed them. Now, in our line of work, especially considering how much networking we did outside of normal office hours, it wasn’t unusual for either of us to make or receive calls to and from other representatives. It was part of the job. Even though this would be a personal call, I didn’t think he would mind.

“We’re eating,” he said.

“Well, then let me text them that I’ll call them later,” I said, eager to please him.

A grunt was his answer, but I sent them a text message that I couldn’t talk at the moment, but I would phone later. I put my phone away, our dessert was served, and we ate, talking about all manner of things, except it seemed I was doing most of the talking. He was quieter than normal but not in a way that alarmed me. Since we met at the restaurant, after driving our own cars there, we said our good nights and I started my car up, then set up a conference call with Sam and Bucky so we could talk as I drove. It was great hearing from them, and we decided to see each other that following week. I really wanted them to meet Bryce, hoping they would get along. It was all set by the time I got home, parked my car, and locked it before I walked to my building, where I was surprised to see Bryce waiting for me.

“What’s up?” I asked, puzzled.

“Show me your phone,” he said, holding his hand out.

“Why?”

“Did you talk to them?”

Just the way he asked, set me off. “Yeah, I told you I was.”

“Are you cheating on me?”

“What?” I couldn’t believe he would ask something like that. “I haven’t seen them in two years. How could I cheat on you with friends I haven’t seen in that long?”

Suddenly, his hand was on my throat as he pushed me against the wall. “I always knew you weren’t over him. You’re going back to him, aren’t you? You’re going back to that killer?”

I struggled against Bryce, trying to push him off me. This was bizarre behaviour, and I was getting scared.

“No, I just set up meeting them for drinks, you, me, and them. That’s all. What’s got into you?”

“You’re mine! Do you hear me? You text them back and cancel it.”

“No, they’re my friends. I want to see them.”

The next thing I knew I was on the ground, my head ringing from where he struck me. A neighbour came out of the security door then, quickly assessing the situation. He gave me enough time to get through the door and close it before Bryce could follow. My now ex-boyfriend banged on the glass, his face full of unrestrained fury so I called the police and reported that he hit me, and I was afraid for my safety. They came within minutes, arrested him and I went up to my apartment, packed a bag and got in my car. As I drove, I phoned Bucky back. It took several rings before he answered, sounding like he had been sleeping.

“Sweetheart? Why are you phoning so late?”

“Do you still have access to a quinjet?”

Immediately, his voice changed, not sounding so sleepy anymore. “What’s wrong?”

“My boyfriend. He went off the deep end about us meeting next week. He hit me, Bucky. I had to call the police on him. I’m scared to stay home. I’m in my car right now but it’s too far to drive to where you are so I was hoping you could come and get me.”

“Where are you?” he asked.

I told him and he was quiet for a moment. He must have been looking it up on a tablet because he told me the name of a private airport about 15 minutes drive away. Told me to go there, stay in the car with the doors locked and wait for him. He would be there as soon as he could. When I arrived, I parked away from the other vehicles, figuring he would need room to land the quinjet. As I sat there in the dark my phone began to sound and I could see text after text from Bryce.

I’m sorry. I don’t know why I did that.

Please, call me or send me a text.

I’m being charged with assault. You sure you want to lay that on me?

Why don’t you answer?

Listen, if I say I’m sorry and promise to go for counselling can you drop the charges? I might lose my job over this.

There was nothing after that and I realized they had probably taken his phone away. I received another text, this one from Sam.

Almost there. Where are you?

In the parking lot, away from the other vehicles. Red Lexus SUV. I’ll flash the lights.

When I saw the lights of the quinjet approaching I flashed my brights and stepped out of the vehicle. Bucky was at the controls and landed right beside me. The back ramp came down and both stepped out immediately. As soon as I saw them, I began to cry. All I remember at that moment, was feeling their arms surround me, hugging me, and murmuring that I was alright. Sam stepped back, took my car keys and went to the trunk for my bag while Bucky led me into the quinjet. As he buckled me into a seat, he looked carefully at my face, gently touching it. It hurt and I winced.

“He did this to you?”

There was no anger in his voice as he asked, but I knew he was angry, just by the set of his jaw and the look in his eyes. I nodded. Sam strode on with my bag and his phone at his ear.

“Red Lexus SUV, at the location I told you. I have the keys, so you’ll have to transport the vehicle with a tow truck or flatbed trailer. I want it picked up and taken to a secure location within 24 hours.”

He was quiet while they repeated it back to him, then he hung up and kneeled in front of me, doing the same thing Bucky did, except from the mindset of his former para-rescue occupation, asking me if I blacked out, or greyed out, and if my head or neck hurt. When I winced at his touch he shook his head, obviously angry. Then he had me follow his upright finger with my eyes without moving my head. Gently, he cupped my cheek with his palm then stood up and looked meaningfully at Bucky.

“He doesn’t get away with it,” he said to his partner. “You know that type of reaction is jealousy, and it will just get worse now that he’s let his façade slip. I wish we had done something sooner.”

“What do you mean, sooner?” I didn’t quite understand what Sam meant.

Bucky let out a deep breath. “When you first told us about him, we checked him out. I know, that was technically spying but we still care about you and weren’t going to let just anyone be your boyfriend.”

“You’ve been interfering in my love life?” I could feel the anger in me ratcheting up to 100. “You had no right!”

“You’re right,” agreed Bucky. “But we just wanted you to be safe and happy with a good guy. Bryce seemed to be alright but there were moments in his past that made us wonder if he was as nice as he presented himself to be. What happened tonight, proved he wasn’t.”

Even though they were right, I was still angry, and I sat there with my arms folded, fuming. Bucky returned to the quinjet controls while Sam sat next to me and buckled in. To his credit, he didn’t try to talk me out of being upset at them. Half an hour later we were at the airport in the city where they were appearing. Sam called for an Uber. As we waited for it to arrive, he and Bucky stood closely together, murmuring, looking at me every so often. Sighing, I went over to them.

“If you’re going to talk about me, at least do it to my face,” I said, irritated.

“Just discussing the sleeping arrangements,” said Bucky. “We have a double King room. You can have one bed; Sam will take the other and I’ll take the floor.”

“I can pay for my own room,” I replied.

“No, what if he finds out you’re here?” asked Sam. “You’re staying with us. You can take a few days off of work, can’t you?”

“Possibly, if my boss is okay with it. Where do you go next?”

Sam rattled off the next three towns they were in before they got to where I lived. They both promised to help me deal with Bryce if he showed up. By the time we got to their hotel I was beat. Bucky went into the bathroom and came out several minutes later.

“I’ve run a bath for you,” he said gently. “Take your time and relax. We’ll talk when you’re done.”

I would have argued but he seemed so sincere that I grabbed my pyjamas and went into the bathroom. When I came out, the TV was on, and Sam was on top of the other bed, in sweatpants and a T-shirt. The other king-sized bed had been turned down, but Bucky wasn’t in the room.

“He went to grab some snacks,” explained Sam. “Get comfortable. Anything you want to watch?”

I shook my head as I dropped my clothes off on my suitcase and climbed into the other bed, with my phone in hand. There were no other messages from Bryce. Hopefully, that meant he was in custody and not plotting his revenge. The sound of the door being unlocked made both of us look at it and we watched as Bucky came in, carrying a bag and a covered paper cup. He toed his boots off and approached the beds. He placed the paper cup on the nightstand nearest me then reached inside the bag, pulling out a wrapped package, and handing it to Sam.

“Po’ Boy, with lots of hot sauce,” he said. He smiled at me, pulling out a small carton of rocky road ice cream and a spoon. “Comfort food, if I remember correctly.”

“Thanks,” I smiled, taking it from him. “It is.”

He pulled out a submarine sandwich for himself, then two bottles of beer, handing one to Sam. I looked at the paper cup which he had placed on the nightstand nearest me.

“Hot chocolate for you, to warm you up between brain freezes.”

“You still remember?”

“Of course.” He gestured to the space on the bed next to me and I patted it. “I would never forget that.”

Bryce never remembered my love of rocky road ice cream and hot chocolate. In fact, he thought it was stupid that I needed to warm up between bites of ice cream whenever I was feeling stressed. My mouth started to tremble and before I knew it the tears started to fall. Both men placed their food down and sat so they were on either side of me. Sam took my ice cream and put it on the nightstand then put his arm around my shoulders while Bucky held my hands.

“Why did I ever break up with you?” I whimpered, feeling pretty sorry for myself. “You both came out late to get me, then you make a special trip to get my comfort foods and act like its no big deal that you remember it two years after we broke up.”

“Hey, I told you that we’re still friends,” said Bucky, in a voice that was so kind. “I still love you and care about you. Sam still cares. It was our phone call that made Bryce react so poorly.”

“No, don’t blame yourselves,” I said emphatically. “If it wasn’t this, it would have been something else that set him off. I look back now at what attracted me to him and it’s obvious that he wasn’t sincere. It was all an act and I bought into it because maybe I was still trying to convince myself that breaking up with you was the right thing to do. The fact that you two were still watching out for me means that you saw through him long before I did.”

They glanced at each other in the way that good friends do when they need to say something unpleasant to another friend. Sam cleared his throat first.

“We didn’t have anything concrete on him when you two first started to go out. On the surface, everything seemed good and as long as he treated you right, we respected your privacy.”

“But?” I looked at him, then at Bucky. “There is a but, right?”

Bucky let his breath out. “There was a complaint laid against him about twelve years ago, when he was in college. Another student, a woman, said he wouldn’t leave her alone. Always sending her gifts, calling her and checking on her location. It came to a head at a function where her brother hugged her, and Bryce punched him, apparently thinking he was a rival for her affections. He went for anger management counselling and since then his behaviour was acceptable. Because he didn’t seem to be obsessive about you, we figured whatever his issues were then were no longer a concern. We were wrong.” Gently, he pushed some hair over my ear. “You got hurt because we gave him the benefit of the doubt. We’re both so sorry.”

I looked at the ice cream and reached for it, jamming a spoonful into my mouth. After the third spoonful I started to cry again and this time Sam took the ice cream, put the lid back on and stuck it in the freezer portion of the mini bar. He grabbed his jacket, his Po’ Boy, and left me there with Bucky.

“Come here,” he said gently, leaning back against the headboard and pulling me into his lap. “Don’t blame yourself for him being abusive. We should have paid attention to our first instincts about him.”

I shook my head. “It’s not that.” He felt so warm and secure as I snuggled deeper into his arms. “I’m upset with myself for thinking that what we had wasn’t enough. Being with you here right now, it’s obvious that I was fooling myself.”

“Sweetheart, at the time, you had valid concerns about us,” he answered. “If you recall, I didn’t try very hard to change your mind. What you were feeling obviously resonated with me.”

“And now? Do you miss me?”

“All the time.” He kissed my head. “But I knew it was important for you to find yourself again, so I let you go.”

I hesitated before asking my next question. “Are you seeing anyone?”

I could see his smile begin. “No, haven’t been looking, either.”

“Are we still just friends?”

“We’ll always be friends, I hope. Do you want it to be more?”

His right hand was rubbing my left arm as I contemplated his question. Had I missed him? Honestly, yes. He was always good at this, comforting me and validating my feelings whenever I felt insecure. How had I not considered this emotional aspect of our previous relationship when I ended it? Was I so wrapped up in my career at that time that I overlooked how good he could make me feel, not just with this type of intimacy but with our sexual relationship? Bryce didn’t even come close to Bucky in those aspects, nor in any other aspect that counted.

“Yes, I want it to be more.”

“What about your work? I don’t want you choosing between your career and me.”

“My career ….” I sighed. “It’s okay but I think I would like a change, especially since I don’t want to be in the same town as Bryce anymore. I’d rather be closer to you.”

“You’re sure?” His blue eyes were focused on me. “Is this what you really want? I’m not a rebound, am I?”

“No, you were the one that got away. I’m sorry I ever broke up with you. You gave me the time and distance to work it out and it just took me this long to realize that you’re the one I want to be with.”

He caressed the side of my head, as he gazed into my eyes. This is what I had really missed, having someone making me feel like I was the most important person in their life. Even when I ended it before he didn’t stop liking me, constantly reassuring me that we were still friends. Our lips met and for the first time in two years I felt another part of what I had been missing. His kiss was gentle and loving. When I winced after he touched the part of my jaw that still hurt, he stopped and hugged me again. Then he made sure that I was looking directly at him.

“I never stopped loving you and wanting you back,” he said quietly. “We’ll make it work this time. I promise.”

“I love you, too,” I whispered.

Bucky’s phone sounded and he picked it up, reading the text. “Sam wants to know if we’ve kissed and made up.”

“Yeah, let him come back,” I replied. “You don’t have to sleep on the floor, either. But it’s just cuddling tonight.”

He smiled in that sexy, lopsided way that I missed so much, as he texted Sam.

“I’ll get us our own room for the other nights, if you want.”

I was definitely okay with that. Sam returned, immediately noticing we were both happier. He offered to get a different room but we both told him it was late, and we would wait until the following night. Bucky quickly ate his sub, I finished my hot chocolate, leaving the ice cream for another time. We all brushed our teeth then got into bed, Sam on his own and Bucky sharing his bed with me. It felt great to have him spoon behind me again, and I slept well.

I gave my notice to my boss the next morning, who was sorry to lose me but when I told him what happened he offered to kick Bryce’s ass. Apparently, he also thought my ex-boyfriend had some issues with jealousy, explaining how Bryce had threatened several guys at the staff Christmas party about being overly friendly with me. Just like Bucky and Sam, he felt guilty about not taking it more seriously.

Three days later, on our return to the town where I lived, there had been no word from Bryce, although I was called in by a detective to answer some questions. It seemed that Bryce claimed he lost his temper after finding out I was cheating on him. Both Bucky and Sam, who accompanied me, showed the detective their text messages as proof that they only asked about meeting up with both of us. My text messages were also taken as evidence. My neighbour had already given his statement which verified that he witnessed Bryce hitting me hard enough to knock me down. They had security camera footage of that and of him grabbing me by the throat. His excuse wasn’t enough to justify the extreme use of force he displayed. From the police station I went with Bucky and Sam to the hospital where they were doing a PR visit in several wards, visiting sick kids and veterans with health issues.

Instead of staying at a hotel I offered my apartment to both Bucky and Sam, as I had two bedrooms. Since it was the last stop of the tour, they offered to help me pack up my possessions and arrange for movers to clear me out of the apartment. When we pulled up in the Uber, after the hospital visit, I was disturbed but not surprised to see Bryce waiting for me. He scowled when Bucky and Sam got out of the vehicle with me.

“Where the hell have you been? I want to talk to you.”

“Haven’t had any messages since you were first arrested but that could be because you were ordered not to contact me,” I replied, attempting to walk past him. He grabbed my elbow and immediately, Bucky and Sam grabbed him. I glared at Bryce. “Take your hands off me.”

“Not until you tell me where you’ve been.”

Bucky started to speak but I interrupted him. “Don’t, he’s trying to goad you two into hitting him. Notice how he’s in position in front of the security cameras? That’s why the charges I filed against him will stick because they caught everything he did to me.” They both let him go and I pulled my arm out of his grip. “Get this through your thick head. The moment you accused me of cheating we were done. You made a bad situation worse by grabbing me around the neck and then hitting me hard enough to knock me down. Compounding that is the fact that I found out you threatened some of my work colleagues not to be friendly with me. I also found out about the woman you harassed in college and how you hit her brother for hugging her. There is something seriously wrong with you, Bryce, if you think I’m going to overlook all that and allow you into my life again.”

“But I love you,” he said. “I thought we were going to get married and have a family someday.”

“No, we’re not and you don’t love me. You don’t even know my favourite colour or my comfort food.”

He stared blankly at me. With a sound of disgust, I pushed past him, and he tried to grab me again. I turned and kicked him in the groin, making him fall to his knees while he held what was left of his dignity, which wasn’t much to begin with. As he gasped for air, Bucky held the door open for me and Sam as we entered the building. Then I closed the security door, shaking my head at the sight of Bryce, still on his knees. I phoned the detective and told him about the encounter, knowing that Bryce had been warned about contacting me. Assured that a unit was coming to pick him up, I left him there and the three of us took the elevator to my floor. Bucky put his arm around me and kissed me on the head.

“I’m sure glad we stayed friends after we broke up,” he said. “You got a mean streak in you.” I raised my eyebrows at him. “Baby, that was sexy as hell.”

He kissed me again, and squeezed me against his side, a big grin on his face. Sam was also quite impressed. By the time we got up to the apartment we were in a good mood, and we enjoyed ourselves that evening with pizza, beer and a movie. Sam stayed for a couple of days before being called for a mission. He flew the quinjet back while Bucky took some personal leave to help me pack up.

If ever there was proof that he was committing to us, that action alone proved it. By the end of the week, my furniture had been picked up, my car was packed, and we prepared to drive back to the Avengers compound, where some new personnel quarters had been built. The individual units, complete with patios and yards, were just what we needed to begin living together again. I got a job on the compound, heading up the purchasing department, sourcing vendors, negotiating prices, and arranging for delivery of all sorts of materials needed for the Avengers. The best part was that with living there, I saw Bucky a lot more, as he followed through on his promise to make it work. We were still friends, of the best kind.

One Shots Masterlist

Please share this story by reblogging.

[just-another-author-i-guess]

More Judd smut?

More Judd smut yay (,:

Tags: fem! Reader, porn with a little plot?, what the fuck is hormone monster dialogue, everyone is horny fr, Nick and Andrew are creeps, but also scared of Judd, and very curious, questionable babysitting?, smoking, participating in the act of “getting stoned”, smoking inside, use of the word simp un-ironically, Judd gives super useless dating advice, not so safe sex, please use protection! please do not read if you’re uncomfortable with smut(,:

Summary: you and Judd are the designated babysitters for the night.

Read my OG Judd story? Here

Author’s note: hi gang (,: I remember when I was like “mental illness funny haha” but it’s really not funny anymore 🥹 I know I disappear all the time,, and I don’t even wanna apologize this time lol. But anyways, this has been brewing in my docs for like MONTHS and now I’ve come back, humbly offering you another Judd smut since the other one is surprisingly popular. Eat well, my children

The one where Judd gives dating advice

4,4K words

(Note, Judd is so cute and I love him :,)

“I don’t care about those horny little shits, I’m just saying they’re old enough to fuck off and do whatever they want. I don’t want my pissstain of a brother hanging around you, your sister is also fucking weird—“ 

You gently elbowed him. “—You’re fucking weird, Judd. And the kids aren’t really that bad, you’re a bit dramatic, babe,” you said, and he angrily grumbled something in response as he slammed the microwave shut. The microwave made a noise, and you watched the third batch of popcorn slowly expand and start to pop. 

Unfortunately for Judd, your parents had collectively decided to go out the day you had promised him a date. Mr and Mrs Birch got a coupon for a recently opened Thai restaurant and decided to invite yours, Missy’s and Andrew’s parents out for dinner, making you the designated babysitter of the night. Leah had ditched the whole ordeal, and Judd was planning to ditch as well until you sent him a picture of your tits and told him he could still come over if he behaved. 

With Maury clouding his judgement, there was no fucking way he could say no to that. 

So now, he was stuck making popcorn for a bunch of middle schoolers. Not to mention he had a pretty bad track record with the kids, they were all absolutely terrified of him. Except of course Jessie, who was deeply in love with him. He grunted in annoyance, turning around to face you with his arms crossed over his chest. 

He had been muttering complaints under his breath ever since you started setting up for the movie. He was absolutely livid that the kids stole away his one-on-one private time with his girlfriend, but for you (and your boobs) he tried to somewhat restrain himself. 

“Judd, baby, look at me,” you stepped out in front of him, reaching up and gently rubbing his cheek, forcing his attention on you. “I know this is not ideal. But, if you play nice, I have a little something for you when the kids go to bed,” you purred, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

He grabbed your waist, kneading the soft flesh in his big hands. Even though he looked intimidating as all hell, not to mention he absolutely towered over you, he was wrapped around your pinky finger. 

He leaned down and buried his face in your neck. “It better be good, slut..” he grunted, brushing his lips over your neck. You slapped the back of his head, feeling him frown against your skin. “I said behave, bitch-boy.” Your tone was sharp, and he knew not to push you any further. 

“Fine, alright. Whatever.” He grumbled, hugging you closer to his body. 

-

It was precisely 7’oclock when the kids arrived. Jessie was still in her room, not wanting to hang out with you and Judd alone; she had refused to come out after your parents left. 

Surprisingly, Judd was the first at the door. He grinned evilly. “Welcome to purgatory, you little shits.” He said, looking down at the 8th graders menacingly. “Bitch! Your sister's dumb friends are here!” He called over his shoulder. 

You huffed audibly. “Are you gonna let them in or what, numbnuts?” You called back to him, pouring the last packet of popcorn into a bowl. 

He frowned and stepped aside, letting the now pretty frightened kids inside. Missy walked in first, smiling nervously at Judd, then came Andrew and Nick. 

Nick was about to step inside, when Judd put a hand on his shoulder. The younger boy stopped dead in his tracks, praying to whatever god he could think of that his brother would let him off easy. “I didn’t do anything! Judd, I swear, please let me go!” He shouted, voice breaking multiple times.

A ghost of a smirk crossed Judd’s face. “Don’t try shit, or I will rip your tiny dick off and force it down your throat. Got it, asslicker?” 

Nick swallowed thickly, frantically nodding his head. Of course Judd had picked up on his brother's crush on you, as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing in the world. 

“Y-You got it, Judd!” He confirmed, panicked chuckles escaping him. 

“Judd. Let him inside.” You stomped up to them, looking so livid you scared Judd back into being nice as you crossed your arms over your chest. Nick looked away quickly, a pink flush covering his face and neck. 

Judd pushed Nick inside with a frown, once again not being able to refuse you. The kids looked on in bewilderment as the intimidating teen seemed to slightly cower under your glare, complying to your will. He looked down at them with something akin to shame, before following after you like a lost puppy.

The kids were in complete shock. Had Judd been fucking possesed?

You called out to Jessie, telling her to come out of her room, before dragging Judd back into the kitchen. 

-

“Y/nnn! Can you start the movie already?” Jessie whined loudly.

A bit of shuffling could be heard in the kitchen. ”I-In a minute! We’re just fixing some drinks!” You called out, voice slightly shaky.

“.. do you really think they’re getting drinks?” Missy asked, after an agonising minute of silence. The kids sat stiffly on the couch. 

You had told them to make themselves at home, but none of them were able to really calm down with Judd in the house. 

Jessie scoffed. “Does it sound like they’re getting drinks? My sister's kind of a slut if you haven’t noticed.” She spat. 

Nick rolled his eyes. “So is Judd.” 

The two of them weren’t able to get over their jealousy of your relationship, somehow not yet registering that they didn’t stand a chance with high schoolers. 

“Come on guys, that’s not a very nice thing to say,” Missy said nervously, glancing at the kitchen door. 

“Jessie, do you think it’s possible I can get a glass of milk? I feel very dehydrated right now,” Andrew muttered, wringing his hands. 

Jessie sighed and Nick immediately began explaining in detail how Judd would murder him. But ultimately, after a long and intense discussion, the kids decided to venture into the kitchen.

-

“You promised to be nice,” You said over your shoulder, holding Judd’s hand as you pulled him to the kitchen. 

“I am nice.” He huffed, letting go of your hand and instead reaching out to grab your waist. He gently lifted you, setting you down on the counter top before stepping in between your legs. For a moment you thought he would lead it somewhere, but your face morphed into a gentle smile when he buried his face in your neck, hands gently rubbing up and down your sides. 

You softly stroked his hair, making the angry agent of chaos visibly relax as he melted into your touch. “You didn’t even last ten seconds,” You muttered, immediately recognizing his actions as jealousy.

He breathed out against your neck, and you couldn’t help but softly laugh at the tingly feeling. “It was nice enough for me to make the popcorn, do you want me to fucking hand feed them too?” He grumbled, straightening up so he could glare down at you. 

You rolled your eyes. “Calm down there, Mr. grumpy-pants. All I ask is that you remain civil for the night, or at least until the movie’s over,” You gave him your very best puppy dog eyes, reaching up to gently brush your hands over his jaw again. Reluctantly, he leaned into your touch, fighting to keep his angry glare. 

Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t deny how absolutely soft he was for you. Your touch calmed him like no other, not even horror movies or tormenting the neighbourhood made him feel as gleeful as when you touched him. 

He hummed in response, not really registering what you said, too focused on your touch. His own hands travelled from your waist to your thighs, gently squeezing. You let out a soft little sigh and instantly Maury appeared. 

‘What? What’d I miss? You’re gonna fuck?’ The hormone monster asked, observing the situation. ‘Oooh! You should totally have a quickie, let’s see how many fingers you can stuff in her before the kids find out!’ He grinned, shaking Judd by the shoulders.

“Shut the fuck up.” Judd growled, making Maury let out a series of horse laughs. ‘Oh ho ho ho! At least get a good feel of her boob, we need something to get through the movie!’ He said dramatically, before patting Judd’s head and walking off in search of new entertainment. 

Judd thought about it for a moment, before slowly sliding his right hand up your tummy until he could palm one of your tits. 

“Judd,” You said, placing your hand over the one he had on your chest, but not removing it. “You gotta behave, alright? Just for tonight. And you can touch aaall you want after, I promise,” You said, finishing the sentence with a long kiss to his cheek. 

“Fuck. Okay, fine.” He relented, removing his hand from your boob and intertwining his fingers with yours instead. He leaned in, pressing a series of wet kisses to your jaw and neck. 

You hummed happily, half closing your eyes until you caught movement somewhere over Judd’s shoulders. You immediately straightened up, opening your eyes fully only to make eye contact with four completely stupefied middle schoolers. 

The kids were too stunned to speak, literally.

Andrew was stammering incoherently, Nick seemed to find the ceiling very interesting, Missy and Jessi had both turned completely red in face but for very different reasons. 

“Oh. Hello,” You said awkwardly, pushing Judd away and jumping off the counter quickly. 

Your boyfriend in question let out a disappointed grunt, murderously glaring down the kids but keeping quiet. You all stood in complete silence for a few, agonisingly long seconds, until Andrew finally spoke up.

Still wringing his hands, the preteen stepped slightly closer to you. “Y/n, I’m very sorry to interrupt. But could I maybe get a glass of milk? It would really help with my nervous stomach—“ You cut him off before he could go into further detail about his digestive system and smiled warmly at him. 

“—Of course. Why don’t you follow Judd back into the living room, he’ll start the movie for you and then I’ll be right out. Okay?”   

If looks could kill, you’d be six feet under. 

Judd bore holes through your back with his eyes, as you turned to open the fridge. “O-okay! Once again, thank you Y/n,” Andrew said, seemingly relieved.

Slowly the kids turned to walk out the kitchen, drizzling out one after the other. Jessi bore a somewhat mischievous smile, walking a bit slower on purpose in hopes she could walk next to Judd. Your boyfriend sighed heavily, uncrossing his arms and following after the kids. He was slowly coming to realise that he had no other choice, than to be a slave for a gang of middle schoolers. 

The kids were again stiffly seated on the couch, this time with Judd sitting in the far end. Jessie had glued herself to his side, shamelessly sitting as close to him as possible. He was sure he would accidentally hit her if he moved his arm just the slightest.

He was holding the remote, quickly flicking through movies on netflix as the kids fought over what to watch. 

“Shut the fuck up.” He barked. “I’ll find you a good movie,” And by “good movie'' he meant the absolutely goriest horror flick netflix had to offer. 

Judd grinned sinisterly as he chose a movie, looking over to see the kids all sporting comically shocked expressions. 

Andrew carefully glanced at Judd. “Excuse me, Judd, but are you sure this movie is suitable for children?” He asked. 

“Y-yeah. Doesn’t that say you have to be sixteen..? My mom said I shouldn’t watch scary movies until I feel ready,” Missy added.

Nick didn’t say anything. He was scared enough of his brother already to disagree openly with him, and he also didn’t want to seem like a wimp in front of Jessi. 

“It’s about time you little pussies grow up. Be quiet and just watch the fucking movie,” Judd said, as mischievously as his monotone voice would allow him to sound. 

Jessi nodded gravely. “Yeah, guys. Shut up. It’s just a movie,” She said, looking up at Judd with big eyes for approval. He only grunted, pressing start on the remote. 

Within the first few minutes, Andrew and Nick were clinging to each other. Missy was curled in on herself, watching the movie through her spread fingers. Judd grinned evilly, satisfied with his choice as he started digging through his pockets.

He was quick to dig up a lighter and half a blunt. A bloody jumpscare in the movie made Jessi jerk and grab onto Judd’s arm, slightly shaking. He sighed deeply, annoyed, but let it slide. He lit the blunt, throwing his feet up on the coffee table and tilting his head back as he inhaled deeply. 

“Judd, I told you not to smoke inside,” You grumbled, returning to the living room with drinks and even more popcorn. Judd raised his head slightly, cocking an eyebrow at you. “Shut up,” He simply said, gesturing to the way Jessi was clinging to him. 

You had to stifle a laugh, quickly setting the snacks on the coffee table and handing the milk to Andrew, who reached out to take it with a shaky hand, refusing to look at the tv.

Upon noticing the lack of space on the couch, Judd beckoned you to his lap. You happily sat down, Jessi giving you a disturbed look as your body gently pushed hers away. 

“What the hell are we even watching?” You asked, Judd shrugged. “Dunno. Summer camp massacre something,” He said, handing you the blunt as you got comfortable on his lap. 

You took a long drag, nuzzling into Judd as his hands came down to hold your waist, pulling you closer to him. “Guys,” Missy suddenly whispered, eyes glued to you and Judd. “Is that.. Marijuana.. As in drugs?”

Judd chuckled, you could feel him move beneath you as you struggled to keep from laughing yourself. 

You said the only appropriate answer you could scrape from your brain; “Well.. Yeah.” 

Missy’s eyes grew to sorcerers. “You can’t do that! Marijuana is a gateway drug! It could mess up your brain- Oh fudge! It could mess up my brain from inhaling secondhand!” 

This time you couldn’t conceal your giggle, handing the blunt back to Judd as you leaned forward. You smiled softly at the younger. “Don’t worry about it, Missy. You’re way too smart to be corrupted by secondhand smoke,” You said. Missy nodded reluctantly, a small smile appearing on her face as she accepted the compliment.

“Mom will actually kill you,” Jessi mumbled and you fondly ruffled her hair. “She won’t if you keep your mouth shut.” You teased, as she scowled at you. Her eyes quickly left yours, to blatantly stare at Judd as he blew clouds of smoke out his nose. He truly looked like an angry dragon, staring at the movie screen with furrowed brows. 

Jessi went bright red, looking away immediately when Judd turned to meet her gaze. You grinned, ruffling her hair again before relaxing back into your boyfriend. Judd gave another annoyed grumble, but soon relaxed himself. 

Somehow, the kids managed to be quiet for the duration of the movie as you finished the blunt and most of the snacks.

Jessi fell asleep against you, having ended up clutching your hand for safety (probably from the masked killer on screen). Missy fell asleep against Andrew, the two huddled in a pile. Nick had slid down from the couch, attempting to hide from the movie but ending up sleeping under the coffee table.

By the time credits came on screen, you and Judd were the only ones awake. Pleasantly hazy from the smoke session, you turned your head to smile at him.

“You were so good. I like nice Judd,” You muttered, leaning up to press a soft, slow kiss to his lips. 

He immediately deepened the kiss, claiming his price. In a horny daze, his hands migrated to your butt and his tongue invaded your mouth. You sighed, a bit too loudly and let your own hands wander. Over his shoulders, rubbing down his chest and abdomen till eventually they rested just over his belt. 

The hiss that escaped him as your hands pressed to his crotch, definitely did not go unnoticed and you responded in kind by moving from his lips, messily gliding wet kisses down his jaw and neck. You bit him playfully, but still hard enough to leave indents in his perfectly smooth neck. 

‘Oooh, baby!’ Right on time, Connie appeared at your side. She purred like a cat, curling around you and Judd on the couch. ‘Why don’t you hurry and jump right on up on that delicious dick of his? You know he can make you feel reeeeeaaaal good,’ She drawled.

Barely acknowledging her, you dumbly nodded in agreement. 

‘Hurry, dumpling! Don’t got much time before the kiddies wake up,’ She urged you, poking Jessi with a long fingernail, and indeed, your sister was starting to stir. 

You could only let out a frustrated huff. Judd had your hair fisted in one hand and your hip clutched tightly in the other, helping you rut yourself against his growing bulge in long, hazy strokes. He felt good, you felt good, everything felt so, so good and moving away from the heavenly friction could not be more of a bother. 

You leaned forward a bit, which came with resistance considering his tight grip on your hair, and whined lowly in his ear. 

Gently, you nosed at his cheek. “Judd.. the kitchen. C’mon,” You breathed.

He retaliated by grinding up into you, much harder than before, allowing you to feel the entirety of his now, very hard, length. You moaned loudly in response. 

“We need to.. the kitchen— they’re waking up,” It was a difficult task to form the right words, with the increased amount of pleasure, so you scratched his shoulders, gently, to get your point across. 

Leaning in, he captured your lips in a hard kiss, licking into your mouth with such fervour your head was spinning. He let go, biting down on your bottom lip and dragging it back before pulling away completely. 

“Stupid fucking kids,” He gritted, tongue swiping over his lips, plump from kissing. 

Heaving, you bit your bottom lip and batted your eyelashes at him in a most sultry display that was sure to make Connie proud. A sinister grin spread across his face, when he got an idea and he let go of your hair in favour of kneading your ass in both his hands.

“I’ll fuck you on the table, slut, be grateful.” It was a demand, but you didn’t mind because right at that moment, nothing truly sounded more pleasing than getting railed on the dining table in your mothers kitchen. 

A shudder went through you at the thought, warmth slushing in your belly and still, you grinned coyly at him. “Only because you were so well behaved. I’m starting to think you actually like them, Juddy-Wuddy?” You said, motioning to the four kids as you cooed at him. 

You got him with that one. Watching with glee as his jaw clenched and he sent you a look that could only mean one of two things; he was going to kill you or plow you until you could no longer walk. You highly suspected the latter.

Your boyfriend scoffed. “It’s almost cute how damn smart you think you are, huh? You fucking bitch.” He glowered. He despised when you called him that, one of the many terrible nicknames you had overheard his mom call him, and he always fell right into your trap. 

Before you could start to respond, he was rising from the couch, hands manoeuvring under your thighs to lift you up with him. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, legs tighter around his waist to keep his clothed cock pressed up against your core, and nuzzled your face into his neck. 

His hands were warm on your thighs, so big they almost covered them entirely when he spread his fingers. You latched onto his neck again, engraving lots of little purple marks, just how he liked it. 

His response came as a strained grunt, as he barreled into the kitchen and dropped you on the corner dining table. 

The table was cold, you squealed as your thighs dragged along the cool surface and Judd wasted no time, leaning over you and pushing your skirt up to expose your panties. 

A sinister grin spread across his face when he found your panties were already damp and soaked, his award for being a prime example of a boyfriend this evening.

You bucked your hips, mewling for attention and hoping he would be quick to relieve you of the throbbing between your thighs. 

He laughed, low and husky as he watched you writhe on the table beneath him. Your lips were swollen and plump, a deep blush covered your cheeks and your hair was messily spread out over the table’s surface. His dick ached.

‘Boi-oi-oi-oing!’ Maury was right behind him, a wild smile split his face and he let his tongue hang out, looking more like a rabid dog than a hormone monster. 

‘C’mon! Shove your fist inside her, she obviously wants it!’ Maury barked, shaking Judd by the shoulders. The teen shook him off, grumbling a threat as he returned to the task at hand. 

You heaved in a breath, tongue coming out to wet your lips again. “Judd, I swear to god, do something—“ You pleaded, desperately. 

“— have patience. And shut the fuck up.” Judd grunted, long fingers creeping towards the wet patch on your panties. Then, he pressed down, right in the middle of the wetness where your much neglected clit sat.

Gasping, you reached out to grasp his bicep. He pressed down again, keeping his thump there and swirling it in circles. You gasped and whined his name softly, the wet fabric glided over your most sensitive part so well it was hard to think about keeping quiet. 

He was quick to silence you with a kiss, however, as his left hand finally, finally, left the wet patch to pull your panties off. You helped him shake them off, too focused with the cool air blowing on your hot core to notice how he crumbled up your panties and stuffed them in his back pocket. 

You begged for him again, whines disappearing into his open mouth as he kept it slotted over yours. 

He shushed you, putting his weight on his right hand as he leaned in further between your legs, suddenly stuffing two fingers into you, in one smooth motion. You cried out so loudly and desperately that not even Judd’s wet kisses could conceal it, he gave you another rough thrust of his fingers in retaliation.

Your eyes were half closed, lips forming an ‘o’ as he pulled away from your mouth to bite at your neck. His fingers reached a depth that your own could not, hitting a softer, mushier spot in your pussy that had you seeing stars each time. He was so rough with his thrusts too, working quickly and effectively to bring you to ecstasy and making the table rattle slightly. You could only pray that the slight scraping on the tiled kitchen floor could not be heard in the living room.

What was much louder, however, were your own loud gasps and breathy moans of your boyfriend's name. The closer you got, the louder your pleas became. 

Judd bit your neck again, hard enough to turn the skin purple. “I said, be quiet, bitch.” He groaned into your neck, panting slightly as the pace of his hand increased. 

You tried, but really couldn’t. The lewd squelching sound and the rapid stroking of his two fingers against your g-spot had you mewling and bucking against him. And it certainly didn’t help, when his thumb pressed down on your clit as well. 

His slender fingers didn’t create much of a stretch, but you knew he was preparing you for his monstrous cock and because his fingers were so deliciously long the waiting time was never disappointing. 

You could vaguely hear Connie bustling about in the background, shouting her encouragement and coaxing you to tell Judd all sorts of lewd things. You didn’t listen, you couldn’t when you were so, so close to your breaking point. 

With your body on fire, liquid pleasure in your veins, your toes curled and you tilted your head to allow Judd better access to the unmarked parts of it. He graciously took the opportunity, returning his grip on your head to position you just how he wanted.

Your thighs clenched around Judd’s arm, lip trembling as your eyes crossed in pleasure. “Judd..!” 

And then he was pulling away, you whined desperately in the process, only to be silenced with a large hand slapped across your mouth. 

“I told you to be quiet, bitch.” He snarled, his voice now so deep and feral it made you shiver. He squeezed your cheeks together, a bit of drool escaped your mouth and smeared on his hand, as he pulled you to a sitting position. “Didn’t I?”

Your pussy throbbed, clenching around nothing at both the rough treatment and being so suddenly void of stimulation. 

With your cheeks squished together, you couldn’t respond, so you opted for frantically nodding your head, softly whining out for him. You needed him inside you, and it had to be now. 

You rutted yourself against the table, slick following you and making a trail on the wooden surface, it felt good, but definitely not as good as Judd’s cock would feel. 

“Pw-pf..a..e.. Pwase!” You begged him, hands wandering towards his belt, feeling him up and unbuckling his belt buckle. You gasped quietly, he was so hard it had to hurt and the feeling of him pressed to your palm made you clench around nothing again. Despite the layers of clothes between you. 

He moaned, but reached down to gather both wrists in his free hand and pinning them together. “You think you think you deserve that? After all the fucking noise you made?” 

You cried out and nodded. Judd grinned sinisterly. “You’re so pathetic, you little slut. You know that?” 

You wanted to kick him, or at least insult him back but the throbbing in your cunt and the fact that his words only made that throb so much worse, made it quite hard to do so. 

Then, he leaned in, resting his chin on top of your head and inhaled your hair deeply. “You’re my little slut.” He grunted and, oh, you could have cum right there. 

You nuzzled into him, burying your head where his neck became his chest and started leaving small, wet kisses. 

He didn’t let go of either your wrists or mouth, instead he barked one simple order; “Off.” and brought your bound wrists towards his crotch again. 

You didn’t need to be told twice, immediately getting to work and shoving both his pants and underwear as far down as your position would allow you to grab at his dick. 

Hissing in pleasure, he pulled you closer to him. He was throbbing and warm in your hand, heavy and so swollen the head had almost turned purple, you tried lifting yourself up, tried to get just the tiniest bit of friction. 

You pumped him slowly, he was sticky with pre-cum already and he dropped his head into your hair again, burying his face into you with a strained groan. He, too, was close to his breaking point.

Letting your wrists and cheeks free, he opted to grab under both your hips, lifting them up to hover above his dick. You let go of him, fingers coming to scratch at the table as he did the remainder of work for you and you fell back on the table. 

“This what you want?” He grunted, thrusting experimentally and nudging his cockhead against your swollen little pearl. 

“Yes.. yes, yes! Please, Judd, it hurts, I need it..!” You blabbered, cheeks puffy and face screwed up as you felt your empty pussy ache with anticipation. Only your boyfriend's dick could ease the twang in your lower belly. 

He inhaled sharply through his nose, face set in stone and brows drawn together as he finally thrusted into you, filling you so completely in that one thrust, that you suddenly felt too full. 

The bit of pain from the wide stretch you felt melted into white-hot pleasure almost as soon as it appeared and when Judd pressed a bit more into you, his hip bones meeting yours, you came instantly. 

You cried out, overwhelmed by the sudden and immense pleasure. Judd cursed, rather loudly and tried pressing further into you, holding you flush against him as you clenched uncontrollably around him. You were even tighter now, so tight it almost hurt and so he waited for you to ride out your orgasm, breathing heavily. 

“Shit.. fuck you! Ah!” He nearly whined at the feeling, blunt nails digging into the plush flesh on your hips. 

Panting, sobbing and sighing, you slowly came down from your orgasm, not at all ready when Judd suddenly started thrusting again. You were already overstimulated, but the wide stretch and feeling of his cock inside felt so heavenly.

You couldn’t help the never-ending mantra of his name that escaped you, matching each of his violent thrusts. He wanted you to feel him as deep as possible, you knew, and he made sure of it. Leaning in over you to hit you at a deeper angle, pressing down on your belly as he fucked you to see himself bulging through. 

“Judd, m’so full,” You slurred, digging your nails into his shoulders, as deep as they would go. He grunted a response, sweat gathering on his dark brows; “You gotta be quiet, baby.” He was strained as he spoke, teeth clenched and warm breath fanning your face.

Then, he squeezed under your thighs again, sliding you towards the edge of the table. “Spread your legs.” He demanded gravelly, and you easily complied. He pressed himself to you further, barely pulling out after each thrust, but doubling the force in which he thrusted. 

The table scraped loudly against the floor, you whimpered and tried to quiet yourself, face heating as the room filled with squelching sounds that definitely didn’t leave anything to the imagination, should anyone overhear. 

Already, you started to tighten around him again, your thighs quivered as you did your best to keep them apart. Judd noticed almost immediately, bringing his thumb down upon your puffy clit. 

“C’mon pretty girl, cum for me again,” He panted and you followed suit, before you could cry out, though, he captured your lips with his own, chest pressed to yours. 

You sobbed into his mouth as his tongue licked flames into you, clutching him to you. His thrusts became irregular, driving you into the table until he couldn’t hold out anymore. He moved to pull out, but you stopped him, keeping him pressed against you. “Don’t.. they’ll see— in-inside.” You panted into his mouth, and almost immediately felt a slush of warm liquid fill your lower belly. 

Judd grit his teeth tightly, jaw fully clenching and breath heaving. His green eyes were dark and glazed, he straightened up a little, raising himself on his forearms to look down at you. 

You were drooling slightly, makeup a bit smudged as you laid out on the table, revelling in the feeling of complete satisfaction and Judd’s cum filling you.

He waited a while to pull out, watching with interest as your tummy swelled ever so slightly from the combining force of his dick and his spend. 

“You’re fucking horrible at being quiet,” He eventually stated.

You puffed out your cheeks, sitting up and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “It wasn’t me who made the table move,” you countered.

Judd’s hands ventured up your back, holding you to him. “You whine like a bitch in heat,” He countered, monotonously, in the most endearing way he could possibly put it. Because honestly, he loved the sounds you made. 

Maury clapped him on the back and barked something at him, reminding him that the two of you were indeed not alone and he pulled out of you. You sighed as he slipped out, feeling your combined liquids leak out a bit as well. 

He was quick to pull his pants and boxers up, turning from you to fetch a roll of paper towels. As he always did, he insisted on cleaning up for you. 

You had asked him about it once, getting the lame response of; “I like to keep my things clean.” 

Fixing your skirt to cover yourself, you found that your panties were nowhere in sight and fixed Judd a look. 

Your boyfriend shrugged. “This is your house, just get another pair.” You blew a raspberry at him. “I’m actually gonna run out of underwear because of you.” 

He didn’t care, it was quite obvious, so you kissed his jaw and jumped from the table, to get yourself a new pair. Judd didn’t miss his chance to roughly squeeze your ass as you walked past him. 

-

Nick awoke to a strange sound. The loudest being the scraping of something on the floor, then he heard you cry, loud and continually as though you were in pain. 

Immediately he sat up. The room was dark and the tv static, he drowsily looked around, his four friends sleeping soundly on the couch. Andrew moved his foot, coincidentally pinning Nick down with it. Groggily, he sighed and pushed Andrew off him. 

He swayed a bit as he stood up, rubbing his eyes to get the sleep out of them. His brother and you weren’t anywhere to be seen, the spot where you previously was sitting now occupied by Jessi, sleeping in a starfish position. 

That was when he heard the sound again, the scraping and then the desperate gasping. This time, though, he heard his brother’s raspy voice as well. What the hell was going on?

‘Judd and Y/n are wrestling,’ Suddenly his temporary hormone monster, Tyler emerged from the kitchen with a disturbed look. 

“What?” Nick was way too tired to process something like that. 

‘They’re rolling around on the table! Like this!’ Tyler got on top of the coffee table, and started intimidating something that definitely did not look like wrestling.

Tyler noticed Nick’s confused expression. ‘Yeah! And she keeps crying and saying his name— like, like this!’ The monster proceeded to do an utmost terrible impression of you calling for Judd and Nick cringed. ‘— and then, Judd told her to shut up and called her a slut! I think he’s gonna get her in a chokehold. I wouldn’t put my money on Y/n, though, she’s not even trying to fight him off—‘

“— Yeah, I don’t think they’re wrestling, Tyler.” Nick deadpanned, cutting the deity short. He felt his face grow increasingly red, as your sounds grew. Now, even he could hear you beg Judd for all sorts of lewd things. 

‘Oh.’ Tyler blinked a couple of times. Nick shivered, he definitely did not need to hear his brother bone his girlfriend (on whom he had a crush) or explain the situation to his hormone monster. 

The two of them remained in uncomfortable silence for a while, Nick pacing back and forth to clear his head of any inappropriate thoughts that Tyler was coaxing him into, once he had figured out the situation. 

Eventually, Nick settled on waking Andrew. 

“Andrew,” He pushed his friend and whispered again. “C’mon, wake up, Andrew,” 

The latter mumbled something incoherent, adjusting his glasses in his sleep. Nick groaned and shook him, not relenting. “I never peed in that pool!” Andrew woke up shouting, and Nick tumbled back in surprise. 

“What?” Nick hissed. Andrew looked about wide eyed, seemingly as groggy as Nick. “I— what?” Andrew repeated. He blinked at his friend slowly, not yet aware of the circumstances. 

He pulled Andrew from the couch, and put a hand over his mouth. “Listen,” He whispered, and watched as his friend's expression turned from annoyed, to confused, to very very startled. 

“Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god!” Andrew stammered. Nick removed his hand. “Is that— are they?” His head snapped from Nick to the kitchen entrance and back again. 

The shorter nodded once, stiffly. “What do we— do we do anything? We could go back to sleep before Judd— oh god, what if they find out we heard?”

Nick turned to his panicking friend, determination clear in his eyes. “We need to go see for ourselves.” 

Andrew’s eyes grew impossibly larger, to the size of sorcerers. “What? No! No, no, normally I come up with those kinda terrible ideas— are you okay, Nick?” He put a clammy hand to Nick’s forehead, fauxingly checking his temperature.

Nick clicked his tongue, annoyed, and waved his friend’s hands away. “Think, Andrew! You have a crush on Y/n, I have a crush on Y/n, haven't you imagined her like that a lot of times, anyway? We can just look, really quickly,” 

“Uuhh, I— I don’t know,” He stammered, eyes flicking to the kitchen door. 

Nick sighed. “I’m going to go look.” His statement was final, as he marched off. Andrew wrung his hands, definitely not unaware of his own desire to see what his two designated babysitters were up to, and his legs seemed to follow after Nick all by themselves. 

The two stopped by the door, neither daring to actually peek inside yet. 

“Judd, m’so full,” 

Both boys stiffened at the sound of your voice, breathy and begging and definitely not how you usually spoke to them. 

Then, Judd grunted; “You gotta be quiet, baby.” Followed up by a harsh command of; “Spread your legs.”

Nick swallowed, and Tyler pushed him further towards the door, squealing at him to look. Suddenly, his previous courage had completely disintegrated and he looked at Andrew, panicked.

The other was just as alarmed, sweat beating his forehead as the scraping sounds picked up and they realised the weight of the situation. 

They stood there for a while, completely perplexed, having been so scared off by your vulgar statements that neither dared to move. Andrew shut his eyes tightly, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he heard Maury in the room as well. He was barking orders at Judd, all of which went completely ignored, and cheering the two of you on.

Then, after what felt like aeons, the noise quieted down and the two preteens listened as you had a quiet conversation. Judd was way less mean, when he talked to you in private, they both noted. Only when you went off to get another pair of briefs, did they realise their mistake. But it was too late for them to move, instead they both stood there with rapidly beating hearts, faces bathed in red with sheepish expressions as you exited the room. 

You stuck your head out the entrance first, yelling in surprise when you caught sight of the two boys. “Oh my god.” You breathed, then realising that they probably heard most of what just went on.

Caught red handed, you couldn’t bear to look neither of them in the eyes. You straightened, quickly walking past them and holding your skirt tightly around your bottom. 

Levelling your voice the best you could, you called to them over your shoulder; “Judd’s in the kitchen, if you need anything,” You squeaked, bounding upstairs to your room before they could properly take in your dishevelled appearance. 

Nick panicked, now they had to go in the kitchen, or suspicion would surely arise. He grabbed onto Andrew’s sleeve, willing his legs to move and take the final few steps into the kitchen.

Into the dragon's den, where Judd, the dragon resided. 

“H-hi. Judd.” Nick stammered. Judd had his back to them, raiding the fridge for anything to drink. You had only stocked up on diet sodas.

The older teen acknowledged them with a grunt, not bothering to turn before his drink-mission was complete. The two boys stood awkwardly in the middle of your kitchen, waiting for whatever reign of terror Judd would have prepared for them; but none came. 

Judd slammed the fridge door shut, and to their total surprise, threw each boy a Diet Coke. “Need anything else?” He drawled, sauntering to the table and slumping down in a chair. He opened a coke for himself and got comfortable in his chair, downing almost the entire can in one go. 

Andrew and Nick shared a glance, and simultaneously inched towards the table. The two of them sat down quietly, still waiting for Judd to scare them away. 

But he was completely out of character, for once, he looked kinda relaxed. Albeit a bit sweaty and tousled, but as calm as Nick had ever seen his older brother. His eyes lingered on Judd’s neck, where he bore a collection of teeth indents, smudges from your lipstick and hickeys.

The three sat in silence for a bit, listening as the light under the cabinets buzzed and eventually Judd got up to fetch another soda. 

“You want any more?” He asked the two, and they politely declined. He shrugged and returned to the table with a new can. 

Nick fiddled with the top of his can, eyes flitting around the room nervously. “Judd. Can I ask you a question?” He dared not look up as he spoke, keeping his eyes planted on the table.

Judd grunted, his way of saying ‘go ahead.’

“Why are you being so nice to us?” The question visibly caught Judd a bit off guard, he stopped drinking for a brief moment, thinking the question over before his stoic exterior returned. 

“Y/n wants me to be nice to you. She likes you small assholes,” He shrugged. 

Andrew looked at the older bewildered. “Y/n told you to be nice to us?” He asked, voice cracking as if he couldn’t believe his own ears. 

Judd frowned. “That’s what I said, wasn’t it?” He snapped.

Andrew swallowed thickly. “Y-yeah. Sorry,” 

“But— I mean, why? She’s not even here, and, you usually don’t listen to anyone,” Nick was unrelenting, now past the point of caring if Judd would beat him up for asking questions. 

A pregnant pause wove through the room, as Judd thought about the question. He still looked considerably less angry than usual, but his features were set in a frown and his brows drew together and made it look like he was planning something sinister. 

“I do what she says because I love her.” He said eventually, glaring off into space as he thought his answer over.

Neither of the two boys could believe their ears. The Judd Birch had just declared his love publicly. It must have been the post-nut clarity. 

When they failed to respond, he continued on; “Sometimes you gotta do dumb shit, even if it’s fucking annoying, to keep a girl.” He mumbled, still deep in thought. Had the situation been different, Nick would have found it quite funny to hear Judd talk about such tender things in his gruff voice. 

Andrew leaned over the table, adjusting his glasses. “Is— Is that how you get a girlfriend?” 

At that, the corners of Judd’s lips moved upwards ever so slightly. He turned fully to them, a wicked look in his eyes. “That’s how you get laid, numbnuts.” 

Then Nick cut in; “But what after? What if I like this girl, and I really wanna touch her boobs, but I also want to talk to her. I mean just talk. Because she’s smart, and funny, and really nice,” 

Judd dug through his back pocket, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and opened the window on the wall behind him. He stuck one between his lips, and offered the pack up to the boys. 

“We’re twelve.”

Judd merely shrugged and lit his own cigarette. “If you wanna touch her tits, you gotta talk to her first. And don’t be a little creep. Charm her and shit,” He explained. 

Nick deadpanned. “Charm her?” Judd was everything but charming. It would forever remain the greatest mystery to him, how his brother managed to pull any girls at all. 

Andrew pushed up his glasses. “Actually, what Judd is saying is true. You need to make her feel as if you care about her—“ 

“—I do care about her!” Nick protested. 

Judd flicked a bit of his cigarette off over the window still. “Then it’s easy. Just talk to her, pussy.” He inhaled a long drag. “If she’s into small pricks, you’ll be just her type.”

The younger pouted. “Not funny, Judd.”

Judd cackled, lowly, sinisterly. “Then, how do you know if a girl likes you?” Andrew asked. 

“She lets you touch her tits.” 

Nick sighed. “C’mon, Judd! There has to be more to it— I mean, you have a girlfriend, so you obviously know.”

The eldest grunted and exhaled smoke through his nose. He thought for a bit before replying; “I was at a party, and I saw this girl, Y/n, and she was really fucking hot. Is really fucking hot,” He fixed the two middle schoolers a pointed look. “So I talked to her, turns out she’s really fucking sweet too. And when you meet a girl like that, all the rest comes naturally,” He finished his explanation, a bit smug as the two boys looked at him in wonder. 

“Not to offend, b—but haven’t you dated lots of girls? How’d you do that?” Andrew asked. 

Judd put his cigarette out in his, now empty, coke can. “Sure I have. You can also just fuck girls, but it’s a lot more fun if you like them,” He said. 

“How do I do that, then? Do I have to talk to her too, even if I don’t like her?” Andrew was a bit eager now, but Nick had to admit that he was also itching for answers. 

“No matter what, you gotta talk to her. Maybe not for long, and if you just wanna fuck, you have to say the right things,” He said, and then quickly added. “But don’t do that. I don’t want you two turning into little dicks,” 

“Then.. What if you’re already friends with her?” It was a bit of a jump in topic, but Nick had to get answers, and right now was probably the only time he had the opportunity to ask. 

Judd snorted. “You want to fuck one of your friends out there?” He cackled, motioning to the living room. 

Nick turned red very quickly. “No.” 

“Fuck, you’re a little simp!” The eldest was finding Nick’s personal troubles a little too funny, and he huffed, glaring at his brother. “But all the rules still apply. Be charming, talk to her, and don’t be a creep.” Judd eventually added, nodding at his brother. 

“Thank you, Judd.” Nick muttered, and he meant it. 

“Yeah, thank you, Judd,” Andrew echoed. 

Judd grunted. “Yeah, whatever. But don’t, ever, spy on me and Y/n again. I mean it. Or I will gut both of you like fucking fish.”

Hi, hello,, thank you of making it this far!

Originally, I wanted to label this “16+ do not interact if you’re younger” but honestly I ate shit like this tf UP when I was 13 💀 idk if I made Judd a little too OOC, sorry big mouth writers ☹️✋ I hope you enjoyed, though

Small rant + update; tumblr has been acting up on my phone lately, idk what I did to make it so laggy lately, but I have to post from my computer now ),: ALSO I’m so mad I keep forgetting that the cursive I make in Google docs doesn’t work in tumblr ahhhhHHHH so I had to go over the whole thing again, I’m pressed

And anyways, I’ve been working on a really big project for a while now, it is literally my baby, and it’s a Loki x reader because I finally watched some marvel movies lol, I’ll wait with posting it till it’s completely done bc rn it’s kinda a mess (and not nearly done) but if anyone would be interested in beta reading the first 5 chapters please don’t hesitate reaching out to me!

You are wonderful! Thank you for reading <3

Request something? HERE!

Tags? @dlfvrr (this was the only instance I could find of someone wanting to be tagged in my Judd stuff, please reply to this if you do want to be tagged)

[cringecompanionapologist]

More Vision Magazine Stuff

So, I've looked a bit into the origin of all of Five's companions (except Kamelion, who hardly exists as a character) and tracked down early character descriptions for all of them.

Well, not quite for Adric. The Adric description was very short.

We get that he's supposed to be 15, so that's good to know. The thing with Adric is that it seemed like no two writers thought of him as the same character.

These takes don't entirely need to contradict one another, but it sounds like the writers were all given a kind of vague description and were never on the same page for what to do with it.

Andrew Smith: He's smart but also immature

Eric Saward: He's a brat

Christopher Bidmead: He's curious and the Doctor likes that about him.

Terrance Dicks: He's an arrogant know-it-all.

This also gives off the vibe that Bidmead liked Adric and Saward didn't, which might explain why Adric worked slightly better in season 18 than season 19. The script editor actually wanted the character to work.

I'd personally go for a mix of the Smith and Bidmead approaches. He's a genius, but his knowledge is still limited, something he's reluctant to admit. He can be a bit of a brat, because he's 15. He's literally immature. But, the Doctor sees his potential and admires his curiosity, so he acts as a sort of mentor figure.

Anyway, the character descriptions of other characters that were provided are a little more detailed, so the writers probably had some idea of what they were doing. Going in order of introduction, here's Nyssa:

Look at how detailed that is! Here's another one whose age we know (18), as well as her backstory, beliefs, skills, and what both Adric and the Doctor think of her. Most of this stuff isn't really explored in the show, but Big Finish clearly took it and ran with it.

Next, Tegan:

So, we get another detailed background, but while it seemed like everything with Nyssa was worked out, we're not confident about Tegan, not sure whether she's going to stick around or not. She starts with a one-off story arc that sounds kind of annoying, honestly. The girl is accidentally put in a Situation and she responds by taking charge of the Situation. But, she basically has to learn to leave things to the men. I doubt Janet Fielding was happy about this: Playing the "uppity" woman who learns to shut up and follow the patriarch. I don't think the people writing this really thought the implications of this arc through.

So, yeah, I was a bit harsh on that one. It's not too bad as an arc out of context, but considering problems with how Tegan was treated by the writers (and the fandom tbh) later, it doesn't bode well.

Anyway, here's (me obsessing over) Turlough:

So, Turlough is 20, around the same age as Tegan, which is what I assumed but this does confuse people. I still think it's funny that he's described as blond, they cast a blond actor, and then had him dye his hair red.

You'll notice from the May, 1981 date, that this was early in development and a lot changed between this and what he see onscreen. Turlough's initial arc was written without reference to the stories it occurs in and his introduction doesn't make any sense with the backstory he was eventually given. They meet him on a planet he's lived on for as long as he can remember.

They basically wrote Turlough's arc before the stories of Season 20. He was apparently going to be introduced in a story called The Song of the Space Whale, where he would just be a person on a planet. But, the story fell through and they decided to introduce him in another story, Mawdryn Undead, instead.

The fact that Turlough was in exile was made up to explain him being at Brendon. Apparently just so the story would make sense to the person writing it. You can tell just how much they were making up as the went along.

Lastly, we've got Peri:

Long blonde hair is basically the opposite of Peri's hair, so this was clearly written well before the role was cast. Also they didn't even know where they were filming "next season's foreign story". It really was just "The Vacation Episode" at this point.

Also, Peri's family life is given a lot of backstory that never comes up onscreen. The description of her dynamic with the Doctor is amusing:

"The Doctor reminds Peri of her dead dad. They remain platonic friends really." As if "surrogate father" would immediately be equated to "potential love interest" because Peri's hot. Peri has daddy issues. Saward and JNT had daddy issues issues.

Also, they clearly had no plans for the Sixth Doctor here. Once again, they made shit up as they went along and hoped it would all work out in the end.

[a-chaotically-small-lunta]

Merchild

Part 1!

Part 2

A simple mermaid story about a man who finds a mermaid.

Warnings: Mentions of Alcohol, Blood, and taking one’s life. (No one dies��except a few fish I guess)

Mermaids were simply legends, but every fisherman and woman in the seaside town of Crestal knew the tales. Mermaids were huge sea beasts that could take down battleships with ease, it was best not to fight them. However, with their large size comes the guarantee of large fish nearby. So one could risk coming in contact with a mermaid for the prize of a large fish haul. These tales have been passed down throughout the town from generation to generation. Even Randy passed it down to his son.

Randy isn’t the best fishermen, living far off from the town, with a small house near the coast, overlooked by a large cliff nearby. The area in the sea was scattered with small rock islands that could tear up boats. However this never stopped Randy or his ancestors. He just didn’t have the same luck, not anymore.

Randy stared down at the divorce papers. It had been finalized months ago but he couldn’t wrap his head around it. Why did Sierra want this? She took almost full custody of their son Andrew, only letting him stay over for weekends. She met a new man and was now living with him. Some business dude with loads of cash, unlike Randy and his poor fishing business.

He sighed, it’s been too long for him. He walked over to a cabinet, grabbed a bottle of whiskey, and headed to his small boat. The boat was nothing special, just a simple fishing boat, fit for at least 5 people if needed. He hopped in, started it up and drove out into the sea.

It was practically night, the sun having set a few hours ago.Randy just sat down watching the waves and downing the bottle.

“Pshh…can’t do nothing…can’t keep my kid…can’t pass down the job…can’t even do the job” Randy mumbled to himself, swirling the bottle. He was desperately trying to drown his sorrows when his boat lurched to one side, causing Randy to stumble. Catching himself on the side of the boat, he watched as his bottle fell into the sea.

“Damnit…didn’t even get to finish it…the fuck was that?”

Randy looked around at the darken waters of the sea, only lit up by the few lights on his boat. He sighed and looked down off the edge of the boat into the water. Staring off into the abyss, part of him wanting to join it.

As his mind swirled he noticed something. There was something coming out of the water, he leaned forward trying to see what it was. His eyes trying to focus when suddenly he was met face to face with another larger face.

He stumbled back into his boat, grabbing his chest in shock as the creature lifted its head and peaked over the edge of the boat. Randy couldn’t believe his eyes, maybe he really did have too much to drink, but there it was; a mermaid. She stared at him with soft yellow eyes, the fins on the side of her head flicked a bit, her green scales shimmered in the moonlight, and her seaweed-like hair dripped droplets into the water. Her head was around four times bigger then his. Weren’t mermaids supposed to be huge? He thought. Only for sudden realization to strike him. If they were supposed to be huge, then the one before him was a youngling. A child. When there’s a child, there’s a parent.

Horror froze his veins at this realization. He stared at the beast in front of him, not moving, and trying to steady his breath. His mind was racing and the alcohol was not helping his case.

The mermaid however lifted herself up more and leaned over the edge of the boat. She was curious at the little creature in front of her. It had no fins or tail, how could it swim or hunt for fish? She gently reached out and poked the creature’s leg with her claw. Careful as to not scratch it. She didn’t want to hurt them, she was simply curious and wanted to learn more.

Randy however flinched at the touch, causing the mermaid to pause a second before continuing.

“Uhhh please stop” Randy said hesitantly, he didn’t know if she’d understand him or not. She simply tilted her head and made a few clicking noises, “Right you don’t understand me…should’ve known.”

The mermaid simply kept look at him and poking him. He couldn’t figure out why though. Wasn’t she just gonna snatch him up and eat him? Or perhaps she is too young to know about that? Wasn’t it’s parent coming? Was he being saved for the parent? Did she even have a parent? Wouldn’t they be here by now? Why was she so curious about him?Maybe she’s never seen a human before, he thought, watching as she awkwardly lifted his leg to inspect it.

“HEY! Don’t flip me ov-over like that!” He shouted, almost losing his stomach over the sudden motion. His shout scared the mermaid, causing her to retreat her hand and dip slightly back into the water. Randy suddenly felt terrible. If this was a child, then he just scared her…how ironic. A sea beast scared of a simple human. Alcohol always made him more emotional, and seeing her cower impacted some instinct to protect and help.

“Hey…sorry for shouting…didn’t mean to scare you…you got nice hair…” he reached down and patted her head, causing her to gently push against his palm. Part of him was shouting that this was stupid and dangerous, but his drunk side just kept petting the mermaid’s head.

She chirped a seemingly happy chirp, and lifted her head out of the water agains so she could get closer.

“You alone out here? All by yourself? Cause I feel you there. I’m alone too” Randy said, all the while the mermaid seemed confused. That didn’t stop Randy from rambling though.

“You know…I’m alone and I haven’t seen anyone come get you…so you must be alone. We can hang out until I pass out ahahaha…” He was really losing it at this point.

The mermaid continued to listen, even though she had zero clue what the creature in front of her was saying. She watched as it spoke it’s strange language and played with her hair. Awkwardly braiding it, like her mama used to. Then it paused, gave a thumbs up, and fell onto the floor. Did it just die?!?! She didn’t know what happened, until a loud snore came from the creature. It’s sleeping, she thought to herself, out in the open like this? Wasn’t that dangerous?

She paused for a moment before deciding to watch the creature and it’s strange floating thing. She dipped back underwater and hid in some crevices between some rocks. Just like her mama had taught her. Suddenly she felt sorrow in her heart, she missed her mama. She played with the loose braid the creature made in her hair as she kept watch on its little floating device.

Morning struck and Randy groggily woke up to the sun smacking his face. His body ached all over and looking around he quickly figured out why. He had passed out on his boat, and not in the small compartment that held a bed. Just on the hard deck.

He laid there trying to remember what had happened. It then hit him. The mermaid. Was it real? Or was it some drunk memory? Randy didn’t know. He sat up and looked around. He knew he had some snacks and water hidden on the boat. So he slowly stood up to grab some.

After grabbing some chips and a bottle of water he walked over the the ledge of the boat. Looking into the deep water. Was the mermaid real? Why did she not eat him? Or drag him under? Randy was so confused and partially hung over. As he sipped his water and looked over the sea he heard and felt the sea move. Confused he looked down, only to be met with those yellow eyes from last night.

Startled, Randy fell back, dropping his water and chips. He Scooted back into the wall of the cockpit of his boat. Staring at her. She blinked and stared at him before smiling a simple smile, without showing her teeth. She then reached over and gently tapped his nose with a claw. He wasn’t scratched, but he was terrified. She was real, last night actually happened. He couldn’t remember much but he remembered her poking at him and lifting his leg. Everything else was blurry for him.

“You’re not gonna hurt me right?” He awkwardly asked, only to receive a click and tilt from her, “oh right…language barrier…”

Then he heard it, her stomach growled. He looked over and fear etched its way into his face. Was she gonna eat him now? Was she saving him for later? He looked at the mermaid and realized she had lowered herself into the water a bit, avoiding eye contact.

She was hungry but wasn’t going for him. Randy then shakily stood up and walked over to the edge. He lifted his hand up and placed it on her head, causing her to tilt her head up and look at him.

“Guess you’re hungry huh?” He asked, still shaking. Part of him was terrified at the thought of being eaten but maybe he could try something else.

He patted his head before walking over to the front of his boat. Curiously the mermaid followed him, still somewhat hiding herself in the water.

“Well maybe I can catch you something?” Randy said as he grabbed his fishing gear. He grabbed his rod, found some bait, hooked it up and cast it out. All the while the mermaid watched in fascination.

“This might take a while…haven’t had the best luck recently.” He awkwardly said as he waited for the line to pull.

It took a few minutes before he felt a pull. He quickly started to reel it in, but it was strong.

“Damnit, why’s it gotta be so tough” he cursed under his breath trying to pull the fish in. The fish was clearly a fighter and the mermaid noticed the struggle. She eyes the line and gently swam close to it.

“Woah! What are yo-“ before he could finish she dived back into the water. He kept fighting the fish though. If she didn’t want it then then he could just catch it and seek it at the market instead. He fought and tried when suddenly, the fighting stopped.

“Shit it got loose.” He muttered. He started pulling it back but realized that there was still something on the hook, it just wasn’t fighting.

“Damnit…must’ve gotten tangled on something…or I was fighting a fucking boot again.”

As he reeled it in, the mermaid popped back up with glee written all over her face.

“Glad you’re happy.” Randy said looking over at the mermaid who just watched him reel in the fish, “you know you could catch your own fish. You know how to right?” Silence and a confused look was all he got, “perhaps not”

Finally the end of the line was in view. Randy watched as it pulled up, and shock struck him. On the hook was a huge fish, bigger than he had seen in a long time. Only it wasn’t moving and had a large bite mark in it. The fish was still intact, there was just clear teeth marks around the fish, as well as a scratch. He pulled the fish out and stared at it. It was still in good condition, despite the wound, but what did it. He then looked over at the mermaid who was filling smiling, showing off her sharp teeth that had just the hint of blood on them. He flinched at seeing the sight of them.

“Oh so you did help me. Thanks.” He awkwardly said. Randy then took the hook out of the fish and carried it over to the mermaid, “but I caught it for you”

The mermaid was stunned. She helped track the fish down to help make it easier for him to catch. She thought he was just getting himself a meal. Yes she was hungry but usually her mama would hunt a bunch of fish first and then bring it back for them to eat. Occasionally she’d help her mama but it was hard to catch fish without a little help. Most of the bigger fish were just too fast for her, so her mama would go after those, occasionally slowing them down for her to practice hunting with, but she usually practiced hunting on the smaller and slower fish. But this creature didn’t do that. Yes it held the fish still so she could stun it and slow it down, but she didn’t expect it to give up its catch for her. She grabbed the fish and eyed it, looking back at the creature who said something and waved it’s hands. It then pretended to eat something, she knew it wanted her to eat it but that wouldn’t be fair. She paused and lifted the fish up and not it in half, handing the head over to the creature. It was the best part after all.

Randy was shocked and a little scared as he watched the mermaid bite the fish in half and hand him the head of it. She then mimicked his motion of eating.

“Uh thanks but I’m not hungry right now…uhhh I’ll save it for later” he said smiling. He patted his stomach to show he was full, before placing the fish into a nearby crate. The mermaid seemed confused but just let it go.

“I’m quite lucky to have found you. I mean, a big fish, not getting eaten by you. You’re quite the good luck charm,” Randy grabbed his fishing rod and pointed to the sea, “wanna help me catch some more?”

The mermaid may not have understood what he said but did understand what he wanted. She happily swam away and dived into the water before popping back up with a giddy smile. Randy laughed and nodded before casting his line again.

They did this for quite awhile. Catching multiple big fish. Randy handed a few to the mermaid, once his ship was full.

“Alright lil..uhhh…mermaid…merchild…mmmh” he paused looking at the mermaid in front of him, “I shouldn’t just call you mermaid. How about I give you a name?” She just tilted her head and he chuckled, “Mmmh well you’re quite lucky…and you got pretty green scales…mmmh I think I’ll call you Jade”

Jade tilted her head confused, the creature then pointed to itself and said a single thing and then pointed to her and said a different thing. It repeated it a few more times. Perhaps the thing they said was what they were called? ‘Randy’ and the thing they said while pointing to her was what it called her, ‘Jade.’ She didn’t know what it meant or even if she could pronounce these things but she liked the sound. She was happy being called this Jade.

Randy watched as Jade wiggled her fins in joy and smiled.

“Alright, I’m glad you like the name, but now I gotta go home okay?” He walked over and patted her cheek. He then pointed to himself and the towards the island. She paused before making a soft cry and nuzzling into him, she didn’t want him to go and it broke his heart.

“I’ll be back, don’t worry okay? I know you don’t understand me but I’ll be back” he tried reassuring her but it was kinda hard to do so with actions.

Randy eventually pulled away from Jade, who had a sad look on her face before disappearing into the depths below. He sighed and walked over to his helm to start the boat up. He would have one hell of a story to tell everyone, especially Andrew.

Meanwhile; Jade watched the boat float away, and she carefully followed it back towards the island. Stopping when she saw it stop at a strange wooden structure. She watched as Randy stepped off the floating thing and carried the boxes away, one by one. They were safe, she thought as she looked around. She noticed that a bit off there was a small rock island nearby, that with closer inspection had a cave opening that went down. Investigating it she discovered it opened up a bit and was quite large. It was also relatively close to where Randy went. She decided right then that this cave would be her home. Curling up on the sandy floor she smiled, she had found a new mama. Someone to help her, someone to be with so she wasn’t so alone anymore. They could teach her things and help her, and she could help them! She couldn’t help but smile with glee as she drifted off to sleep hoping to catch Randy when she woke up and have another day of being with them.

[randomfoggytiger]

The X-Files: Son of Egypt

First fic of all time (barring dabbles in my younger years off the internet that don't count.)

All credit goes to @television-overload's intriguing idea-- Samantha adopts and raises William Mulder-Scully (post here)-- with a Prince of Egypt-esque twist~.

Will Van de Kamp couldn’t remember how old he was (and couldn’t begin to take a guess now) or even what he'd said when his mother’s wistful, yearning look stopped him in the middle of a protest. “Your father said that to me, too,” she’d murmured, before quickly walking them away from the conversation. It was then he understood: Samantha Van de Kamp was his mother, Carl Andrew Van de Kamp was his brother, but the man he called “dad” was not his father.  

~~~~~

He had just turned twenty-two when Will was finally allowed to join the raids.

Their base's Consortium quarters had been quiet, eagerly quiet as the Van de Kamp men represented their request. Will may have felt aged in his soul-- a cobweb weighed down with dust and filth and dead parts-- but he was young in their eyes; and against this fading generation, who had seen wars and brokered peace before their species was extinguished, Will had to prove he could handle the great risk, the heavy responsibility, the implied future work this one task would set him up for. That was easily done as he parroted back their secrets-- a young boy with a quick mind and a listening ear could learn a lot, particularly when firmly transplanted from his childhood farm into the middle of a Syndicate compound. And a boy who could turn that threat of exposure into a boon for his lords and masters was a gift to be cultivated and groomed. He was approved. In passing, a few half-remarks (“Perhaps he should have been left on the farm. To know so much of our inner workings and with so much history--”, “It was necessary. There was no other way to keep Mulder from--”) snagged at his mind, vaguely recognizing a few names and situations mentioned before; but his attention was caught by Van de Kamp’s reassuring grip and a few curious members striding over to weigh him in the balance for themselves. Later. 

Later came sooner than expected.

The raid had been going smoothly. It wasn’t even a raid, Will discovered, but a routine drive-by meant to intimidate a specific helper or informant: a preening “you’re still in checkmate” boast. Elevated desperation reeked from their current victim, choking Will as thickly as Van de Kamp and Henderson’s ruthless satisfaction did. The interrogation ended badly: Henderson was knocked aside and Van de Kamp warned away from his charge by the muzzle of Henderson’s gun. Will Van de Kamp had his own weapon out and aimed at the man’s chest before he could become a hostage; but Will could not pull the trigger. The background noise faded out as both opponents faced each other, equal fear in their eyes. Then the man jerked the gun away, swiftly putting a bullet in his own skull.  

Another half-remark haunted Will’s footsteps from the scene. “Can’t change a Mulder,” Henderson hissed under his breath, hand wrapped around his twisted fingers. 

~~~~~

The Consortium appreciated the concept of genius but withdrew from his own. Bad blood on all sides, Will assumed; the dark, overcasting shadow of his late grandfather providing contrast to the spark of his intelligence. Eidetic memory was a negative in this den of bloated jackals, gluttoned as they were on easy power and declaring victories when they hadn't even fought wars (though against whom or what no one could point to.) 

When Van de Kamp had told the family they were moving permanently on-base, everyone had assumed it was because Andrew had caught the Syndicate's attention. Cunning was prized by a group who had to lick their own wounds one too many times; and Will’s older brother had it in spades. It was ridiculously easy for him to spin anything to his advantage with everyone except Will-- the two brothers knew each other too well for those games to be ended between them in anything other than a fight, a good laugh, and another adventure. Andrew's harsher struggles trying to live up to his grandfather's legacy in the Consortium was harshly contrasted by Will's greater negligence in the name of freedom; and both brothers grew closer and further away as the group's requirements necessarily pushed and pulled at their relationship. There was love, Will knew; but suspicions this intense could only be dealt with alone.

“What’s eating at you? We all don’t take that first shot, it doesn’t mean--” 

“Teach me to hack in, not get caught.” 

Another tussle, another patch up, another bargain.

Will only gained fringes of information from slipping into those dangerous territories (most of the information having been kept offline since an incident in 1995, he gleaned); but two important pieces were worth the risk: former Special Agent Fox W. Mulder (recently exonerated) had continually entangled himself in Syndicate business while on a madcap search for his sister; and that sister was Samantha Mulder. Samantha Mulder, Samantha Van de Kamp. 

He had to find those files. 

~~~~~

It took longer than Will was willing to admit to recall where Van de Kamp stored his important documents, cds, and drives. Nocturnal adventures were not unusual for him, even with a mother who quaked with worry and a father who quietly guided him back to his room any time after 10 PM. With the tiniest flashlight he could find in one hand (being invisible was an essential skill to survive when surrounded by betrayals layered with suspicions) and a phone in the other, Will picked his way through the attic, recognizing various names or codes from his notes. Eyes growing strained in the darkness, he finally found a promising box: folder piles, papers filed together, pictures, notes… the X-Files. Or copies of them.  

Will flipped around, brusquely set aside, and grabbed for stack after stack until he found his mother’s file. Although she was younger in this photo than any in the house, they still reassuringly shared the same nose (pinched at the bridge, widening out at the tip.) For a brief moment he wondered what his uncle’s nose looked like; but the word “Found” arrested his attention. Everything froze with him in shock, coming back to life only after he sputtered on a choked, belated gasp. Closed… found… 2000… died…starlight. Died. 

He clutched as many files and cds as he could; then a box of them; then set everything aside, shaking, as he ruthlessly sorted between importance and paramount importance. Remaining undetected was the goal: it wouldn’t matter how much evidence he collected if he were caught. 

~~~~~

Uncle Fox, Will discovered, was a fascinatingly transparent opponent to the Syndicate. He'd never hidden his motives or intentions, often defying the shaved-down FBI report regulations to get "the Truth" out-- conferences, interviews, even an odd media appearance (Cops was one of the notes he underlined.) The smaller, more humanizing details of his life were gathered through safer searches, having been expunged from the Consortium record for their unimportance. Special Agent Fox Mulder (Uncle Mulder) was always accompanied by his partner, Special Agent Dana Scully. And, fittingly he assumed, when Will saw them both for the first time it was together: his uncle’s wide smile and her serious frown captured on-site of one of their cases. 

Former Special Agent Dana Scully was still being monitored by her enemies (likely a more indirect way to monitor her former partner): now a doctor at an Our Lady’s Sorrow hospital, her hair was longer and her face relatively unchanged, if the newest articles about her work were to be believed. It was a short leap from those articles to the sensationalism rags about her past, and an even shorter distance from that to tumbling into revelation after revelation: exoneration in 2008, fleeing the law with her partner in 2002… and adopting-out her son, also in 2002. William Mulder-Scully.

The thought flitted and was brushed aside; then slammed back with ringing clarity. Will scrambled for baby Mulder-Scully’s birthday and breathed a sigh: he was born in 2001. Five years too young to be himself, but a cousin nonetheless. He hoped wherever the boy was that it was far from where he was. 

But “Closed… found… 2000… died.” wouldn’t leave his mind. Samantha Mulder was buried in North Carolina with a Teena Mulder; and, to Will’s shock, was briefly joined by Uncle Mulder himself for three months. The files he had on hand confirmed the public report, which left him shaken and reeling.

Closed… found.. 2000… died…. Resurrected? 

And if closed, found, 2000, died, resurrected was a possibility, then there was an equal chance that born, adopted, given a new identity could be true as well.  

A frantic, thorough, and looping search confirmed it: the Will Van De Kamp born to Samantha Van de Kamp existed only after William Mulder-Scully was adopted out. Thinking back, Will couldn’t personally prove his existence after his alleged birth in 1996. The life they lived had never allowed for natural curiosity or too many questions with silence so easily bought and paid for. Until now, he assumed “the work” was dangerous and fearfully weighty, something to be talked of obliquely or not at all. Now he wondered what sort of kingdom he and Andrew were being raised for. 

~~~~~

Clones and hybrids and tortured children and harvested women and broken men. 

That was their empire. 

His mother, a tool of the Project. Carted out against her knowledge and against her will for her father’s (her creator's) means and goals, paraded before a brother she thought she had and married to a man that may or may not know she was inhuman. A string of children lost and born and dead before Andrew survived to carry on her creator's legacy. Complicit in the lie of Will's birth and parentage.   

His brother, a tool of the Project. Elevated as its prince, honed to a weapon, and all-but-in-writing handed the keys of the Conspiracy. Immune before immunity was no longer required. Cunningly grasping for that power and for Will, unable to keep both but refusing to lax his grip all the same. 

The Project: fruitless lies upon lies that saved no one, having merely benefitted from two opposing alien factions’ war and stalemate. Bullies left with too much aimless power and ashes at their feet. 

Will knew he needed to leave. Soon. Immediately. 

~~~~~

Andrew was furious Will was leaving without warning and almost without a goodbye. Their ensuing fight was left unresolved-- perhaps forever-- with the punctuating slam and screech of an angry driver venting his pain on the road. Will wondered if his family was doomed to be continually torn apart; and if Andrew would ever start or never stop looking for him.

His mother, Samantha, simply stared, silent tears marking the many years she'd chosen ignorance over truth. A soft then more desperate hug said everything for her; and she quietly slipped into the backroom, giving him time to grab what he needed and leave. 

Van de Kamp barged in before Will left, breathless with pain. He, too, was silent; and he, too, allowed his son to leave. 

Will knew all three wouldn’t betray him; but how much of that was motivated by love, loyalty, or a twisted sense of duty he couldn’t say. 

~~~~~

Doctor Dana Scully was easy to locate but harder to follow, the Consortium’s search for him making it nearly impossible at first. Her frown was still serious and her hair was still long, but her spark was gone. He could only watch this new mother from afar, drifting in her wake-- hungry as she ate, parched as she drank, exhausted as she slept. He couldn’t approach her, the bereft ache in his last mother’s eyes always on his mind, foiling his best attempts to forget. Perhaps former Special Agent Dana Scully and he were not meant to be, or perhaps meeting her in person would turn her from a figment into flesh. Until he could be certain, he waited. 

Former Special Agent Fox Mulder was nowhere to be found. 

It was a week before Dana Scully led the way to her second home, a ramshackle abandoned house in the sticks. Will knew about this property, even came to scout it out once; but it looked dead from the road, and he’d hurried back to his previous task. By now, he should have learned that appearances are deceiving. 

He left his car in the woods, slinking up the porch easily by crouching under the tall grass. The house was still dead-- no hum from the power, no creaking of the pipes, and no shuffling from the steps inside.  Half remarks, easy to recognize from a lifetime of training, trickled outside; and Will inched closer to catch them.   

Dana Scully’s voice-- harder to hear from where Will was positioned-- was softer than he’d imagined, especially when contrasted with the solemn expression that settled perpetually on her face. “...out here… this house… alone.” 

“Well, you know me, Scully,” Special Agent Fox Mulder’s (Uncle Fox, Mulder, Father's) voice rang out, falsely cheerful. “You predicted how this’d go years ago.”

Will caught a mournful murmur. 

“‘Catatonic schizophrenia’, I believe you called it.”

“Mulder.” He heard that loud and clear: no nonsense endearment. Amused and trying not to be.  

“Though I think our story ended better than theirs. Though not by much.” 

Although Dana Scully’s (Scully's) heels clicked close, Will could tell she was only drawing closer to Agent Mulder (Mulder.) There was a long, deep silence, a few deep reassuring breaths, and what sounded like affectionate ruffling. 

“You’ll find your way back, Mulder. I believe that.” 

Retreating from this intimate moment between two sad, broken people, Will felt fifteen years old for the first time in his false twenty-two. 

~~~~~

Will didn’t leave Mulder’s house. He spent the next week or two losing track of time in the rhythm of Mulder’s world: quiet except for the wind moving through the trees, the grass, or slamming up against the lifeless windows. Food was easy to forget when he subsisted on various nonperishables; and the hours were whittled away plowing through various copies of unredacted files. Low profile didn’t seem to have existed in Mulder and Scully’s orbit, with more and more press and eyewitness accounts to corroborate or validate the various outlandish claims they’d both signed their names to. 

It also gave him time to think. Losing his family was concrete and understandable even if it was gut-wrenching and grueling. But to have stripped him of his identity, of so large a factor as his age, was as baffling as it was appalling. Will had lived through each milestone, had graduated, had taken other secondary education classes and courses; and now he was left to second-guess everything he thought he knew. Tutelage tempered with lies under the Syndicate could mean anything: how effectively was he taught? Did he even graduate? Likely not, since a fifteen year old brain could not fit the knowledge required for a twenty-two year old collegiate. Had the Consortium fallen so far that they were sloughing off a piecemeal education on their next generation, not caring if they learned so much as they obeyed? If so, the whole structure would collapse within a generation; but then, what structure did they have left to uphold? The selfish men who bought and sold for power were dying out, and the next generation might be willing to take what they could from the scraps. But then why--

And underneath all of those thoughts was the one Will was trying to isolate from but kept finding over and over in the files, typed up plainly in Dana Scully’s neat sentences: “...if it’s only by knowing where he’s been that he can hope to understand where he’s going, then I fear Agent Mulder may lose his course; and the truths he’s seeking from his childhood will continue to evade him, driving him more dangerously forward in impossible pursuit.” 

~~~~~

Mulder stepped out of the treeline, gun in hand. 

Will realized, as he stared at this man chiseled by regrets and promises, that he had been disappointed in his father a week or more ago. He’d wanted to respect him, had even thought he loved him in a way; but had still withdrawn from the concreteness of his father's weakness, just as his father had. The Mulder standing before him was every inch the former Special Agent Fox Mulder he'd read about: danger in his stance, fire and fairness in his eyes.  He’d never met Fox Mulder, but Will was glad to have him back. 

Mulder stopped his string of succinct commands when his eyes fell on the files, breath catching as he looked erratically from one copy to the next before flying back up to Will’s face. There was fear in his eyes-- good fear, alive fear-- and his words caught a few times before he asked, “William?” 

Fox Mulder, Mulder. Dana Scully, Scully. Will Van de Kamp, William Mulder-Scully. He could live with that. 

There wasn't anything to say, so William did what Samantha Mulder had taught him, letting his smile say everything for him. Mulder's face split into the exact same, wide-open beam: he, too, had taught William in his absence. And William knew-- he just knew-- that Scully had passed on her ability to read the layers of emotions dancing across his father's neutral expression. And he could live with that, too.

William watched his father's smile slip as he swallowed back crashing emotions. "I tried looking for you, years ago. When you were a baby. And later, when...." Mulder paused, miserable in his failures.

There was only one thing left to say. "You did."

~~~~~

Acknowledgements: Thank you to @television-overload for coming up with the original idea and for naming Will's older brother. ;)))

Thank you to @ghostbustermelanieking and @o6666666 for creating short, beautiful AU fics that ultimately helped me flesh out the format for this one.

Thank you (in no particular order) @baronessblixen, @welsharcher, @agent-troi, @dd-is-my-guiltypleasure, @suitablyaggrieved, @pianogirlxf, @samucabd, @herdingcats12, @cecilysass, @amplifyme, @slippinmickeys, @enigmaticdrblockhead, @annablume, @spidey-is-tired, @two-microscopes, @spidey-is-tired, @mariaann, @chavisory, @medicaldoctordana, @ibringyouasong89, @cyb3rpeach, @mindibindi, @two-birds-alone-together, @invidiosa, @jessahmewren, @living-in-unreality, @mollybecameanengineer, @tossingmyglossymane, @demon-fetal-harvest, @settle-down-frohike, @storybycorey, @thescullyphile, @scullys-scalpel, @perpetually-weirdening, @teenie-xf, @captainsugarcane, @frogsmulder, @paperheartsarts, @unremarkablehouse, @cutemothman, @my-spookybunnies, @lindz-dude, @sonictacocat, @freckleslikestars, @kiivitaja, @today-in-fic and more for always being willing to engage with my work (and enjoying when I engage in yours.)

Thank you to every single one of the fic writers out there. Your work nudged me gently along to this point; and without your leaps I wouldn't be making these steps.

And thank you to each and everyone of my mutuals and lurkers-- keep on keepin' on~!

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

[zsakuva]

Saku! I loved your latest video ahhh!

My question is, do you have a gender in mind when you envision certain listeners? I mean absolutely no disrespect and I know all your videos are tagged M4A (expect for bby niall ofc~), I am just genuinely curious. When I think of Luca and Asirel’s listener, they’re both male in my head? But when I think of Andrew or Isaac’s listener, they’re females. Again, I know your videos are meant for everyone, and I respect, just wanted to know if I’m the only one:)

In the beginning, I used to envision certain genders for different characters. For Andrew and Isaac, I imagined a female Listener, and for Luca and Asirel, a male Listener. But all of the Listeners are now seen as gender-neutral in my eyes, with the exception of Luca's who will always be perceived as male.

[pickypickypeak]

Genuinely no hate; the harry potter fandom is actually funny to me because I haven’t read the books in a decade but like. Who the fuck is mattheo riddle lmao. Why are there a gazillion smut fics about him with the caption minors dni. Why are there gifs of him trying to gaslight me he’s always been in the movies and where are people taking them from. Do the people engaging in it even know what harry potter is about and that he’s not in the movies or do they just vibe with it. Like. Enzo berkshire. Who are these people and seriously who named them like this. What’s next salvatore granger. Mario weasley. Hogwarts pizzeria. Sometimes a post will pop up saying things like “salvatore granger would be the kind of boyfriend who gets jealous when you wave at other people and beats you so you learn the lesson🥰🤪”. Okay? Again no problem with that have your fun I’m just curious in how the harry potter fandom became the fandom of fancast made up characters with such… interesting narratives? “Aww look at remus lupin he’s so cute I need him so bad😩” except it’s literally a 10 y/o gif of andrew garfield as peter parker? Just. Fascinating. The most fandom to ever

[andydrysdalerogers]

Troublemaker ~ Chapter Seven ~ On The Road

He is one of the best goaltenders in the league. He's also hated by his teammates. He didn't mean to be a troublemaker but why not lean into it? There wasn't anyone to stop him.

Until he met her...

A Jeremy Swayman AU x OFC Stella Williams

Story Warnings: excessive drinking, SMUT!, an asshole Jeremy, angst

A/N: Hello and welcome to a spin-off "Cross-Checked" so plenty of characters from that story are crossing over here! If you want a more detailed story of how we ended up here, read the first store HERE Also! The taglist is open. If you want to be added or removed, please let me know!

Previous: Becoming Uncle Jeremy

Please note that I do not give permission for my work to be translated, reposted, or published anywhere other than my Tumblr. Reblogs are most welcome though!

Banners by me! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Four days after little Avery made her dramatic entrance into the world, I dressed and ready to get back to work. Andy was back for the first day as well, having stayed with Leia at the hospital for a few days and they had just gotten home.  

“Do you have pictures of my niece Barber?” I yelled out in the locker room as we got ready.  

“Your niece?!” Luke replies with indignation.  “She’s MY niece, Swayman.”  

“Pretty sure I was there to help birth her, that gives me rights,” I yell back. 

“Do not make me kick your ass, Sway. I have no problem putting you on your ass!” 

“You’re just jealous that Avery smiled at me, and she just farted in your hand!” This one got the guys to laugh hard.  

“Oh, fuck you! That was the sign that she’s comfortable with me and loves me more.”  

“Pretty sure that was a sign that she thought you were shit.”  

“That’s it!” He started to chase me around while the guys took bets if he could catch me. Coach came in and blew his whistle.  

“I swear sometimes I coach a peewee league.” He shook his head. “Sway, Barber, it's great to have you both back. Sway, I want you to take it easy today, so we do your wellness assessment. Barber, I need to review something before practice.  I also want to see baby pictures.  The rest of you, get to your weightlifting or whatever it is you need to do before on ice practice.”   

I punched Luke in the arm. “We could share her.”  

“Leia already said I had to,” he grumbled. “I hate you.”  

“Love you too, Andrews.”  I laughed as I headed to the conditioning room.  That’s where I saw my favorite ass in the whole world.   I stood in the doorway for a second, admiring the way she lifted the boxes into place, her workout pants molding to the curves of her delectable ass. “Fuck me,” I mumbled. 

Stella whipped around and smiled. “Pervert.” 

“Only for you.” I walked in and went for a kiss, but she dodged me, looking around. “What?” 

“Jeremy, we are at work.” Stella pushed me away. Her rejection stung in my chest, and I didn’t like it. I guess my face gave me away. “Baby, we promised not here.” Her eyes were sympathetic. But she was right, we promised to keep it away from work. Her kiss when I was injured was a one off. It was fear induced because we had no idea what was happening or how hurt I was.  

But I liked it.  

I liked her concern for me. I like that she worried for me.  when she crawled into my bed to make sure I was ok, my heart just about exploded. I could fall for this girl and not even notice.  

Except I did just notice.  

I think I’m falling in love with Stella Williams.  

“Jeremy?” My head snaps up to see Stella giving me a curious look.  “You with me?” 

“Sorry Stel. Just went blank for a moment.” I smiled, hoping my feelings didn’t shine through. She’s not on the same level as me, this much I know.  

But I would damn well try to get her there.  

Later that evening, I was pulling up game tape for our upcoming game when there was a knock on the door. I wasn’t expecting anyone tonight.  But who I saw through the peephole made me smile. I opened the door. “You lost?” 

Stella smirked, holding up a couple of grocery bags. “I felt bad for shutting you down at work today.”  

I shrug. “You were right, I should have remembered that.”  

“No,” she sighed, “I was rude.”  

I smirk. “Kinda but it’s ok. Whatcha got there?” I tilt my head towards the bags.  

“I wanted to cook for you.” She smiles shyly. “I know its supposed to be light so I brought some salmon and veggies with a homemade marinade and some dessert.”  

“Really?” I take the bag from her and let her in. I take the bags to the kitchen and start to look for the dessert.  

“What are you doing?”  She bats my hands away. “No dessert until you eat all of your veggies,” she says with a hell of a sexy smirk. God, I want to kiss that smirk away. And I do, since we’re in my place instead of at work. I take her face in my hands and kiss the fuck out of her.  She gasps at the intensity, allowing me to taste her. I deepen it, relishing in her warms against me. I slow and give us a chance to breathe. I press my forehead to hers. We take a minute before she says, “gonna let me cook?” 

“Sure.” I pull away from her and start towards the living room. “Just know, I’m having you for dessert.”  

An hour later and I’m groaning with delight. “God damn woman, you are one hell of a cook.” I wanted to literally lick the plate clean. She made salmon with some sort of magic glaze that made me drool as I smelled it cooking. Broccoli, squash and carrots rounded out the veggies and I ate every single one.  

“Thanks, babe.” She went to pick up the plates, but I stop her.  “You cook, I clean.” I take her plate and head to the sink. I put them in sink before I take the bottle of wine and pour Stella a refill.  I had a water, but I want her to enjoy herself.  She sits at the counter as I rinse everything before getting it into the dish washer.  

“You don’t drink anymore?” 

“I do, just try not to indulge if I don’t have to.” I finish up and turn to her with a smile. “Dessert?” 

“What happened to no indulging?” She giggled at me, and I went to step in between her legs.  

“Pretty sure what I want doesn’t have many calories.  In fact, I know that it actually burns calories.” I start to kiss her neck and she lets out a sigh as she tilts her head to give me access. “God, your skin is so soft and warm. Taste like honey and sunshine.”  

“Oh, god, Jer,” she moans as I kiss lower on her chest. “So good.”  

“Yeah, baby, you like it?” I move to pull her shirt over her head. She’s in a red lace bra and I almost lose it right there. “Fuck, wear this for me?” I move behind her.  

“Ye—yes,” she stutters. Could be because I had reached and squeezed one of her breasts that are spilling out of the cup. I pulled a strap down off her shoulder and started to kiss her skin. Her hair is up in a knot, and I pulled the elastic so her hair tumbles down. She looks wrecked already and perfect.  “Jeremy,” she moans 

“Tell me what you want, sweetheart.” I suck on her skin gently, not to leave a mark. “C’mon baby, use your words.” I let my hands glide underneath her tits, massaging gently. “Tell me, beautiful. Tell me how I can make you feel good.”  

“Jeremy, touch me, please.” Her head was tossed onto my shoulder as I pulled the straps down and unclasping her bra. As soon as the fabric was away from her skin, my palms cupped her perfect breasts. I rolled her nipples in between my fingers as my lips continued their assault on her neck. I wrapped one arm around her check as my other hand drifted down to the waist band of the tight as fuck yoga pants.  

“You want my touch here?” I tweaked a nipple, and she arched her back. “Or maybe here,” I skimmed over her warmth. That got me groan and she pressed her ass into my hips. It was my turn to groan as the sensation of her rubbing that delectable ass over my rock-hard cock. “Fuck, Stel, you could make me come just rubbing this ass on my cock. It fits so nicely between these cheeks.” I ghost a hand over her ass before giving it a quick spank.  

“Baby, fuck.” Stella whines at the smack and I grin. “You like that, don’t you baby.”  

“Yes,” she breathes. I work both hands down her torso and grip her pants and drag them down. I get them off of her feet and she is standing with her back to me, naked and wanting. I yank off my shirt. I want to feel her skin on mine.  I want to feel the heat flash through, warming me down to my soul.  

Because, and I’m not sure when, but Stella Williams owns me, body and soul.  

I’m just realizing that I am in love with Stella.  

Now, I don’t want to fuck my girl. I want to make love to her. To take her to the brink with sweet kisses and easy touches. To transcend to another plane where it's just her and I, just us, just the pure love I have for her. She became everything to me, and I don’t want to let go.  

I spin her to me and pick her up, wrapping her legs around me. I walk her to my bed and lay her down gently. I hold myself over her, fighting the urge to say the words that I just discovered are in me. Instead, I say, “I want to worship you.”  

I can feel the shiver that goes through her body. “Jeremy,” she sighs, “ baby, make me feel good.”  

I descend to kiss those pouty lips. Her perfect lips.  

I took her apart piece by piece and worshiped every inch of skin I could find. It took hours but it was worth it. She slept in my arms, perfectly sated, fitting right into me.  This is my happy place now, wherever she is.  

I’m going to do my best to make sure she becomes mine forever.  

The next six weeks were an intense merry-go-round of games, practice, media and travel.  And of course, Stella.  She is the only calm in the storm going on around me.  

We see each other as often as we can, be it at home or on the road. I’m lucky she gets her own room, being that she is one of the few females that travel with us. She’s also on a whole other floor so we don’t have to be quiet.  

But it's getting hard to keep us on the low. I want to scream from the rooftops that she is mine and I am hers. I want the world to know how obsessed I am with this girl. But she’s not there yet and I respect that. 

We are a week before the playoffs starts and we are in New York for the night.  We had beaten the Rangers in a shutout (you’re welcome) and secured our playoff spot so the boys and I are out celebrating.  Stella couldn’t come on this road trip due to an injury Smith received that sent her home.  That was a bummer because I would have rather celebrated with her.  

We walked into a bar down the street from the hotel to the cheers of some fans that had followed us on the road trip. Andy and Luke said they would get the first round and I told Andy to just get me a Coke.  I was truthful to Stella that I really wasn’t drinking anymore.  Alcohol just made things worse, and I wanted to make sure that I was the best man and teammate.  An hour in, Stevens came over with a couple of shots.  “Sway! Take this with me!” 

I shook my head. “Nah, man, I’m good.”  

“One will not kill you, bro.” He set it down in front of me. “We need to celebrate your shutout.  You’re the reason we are headed to the playoffs.”  

I turned to Andy and Linus. “It’s ok, Jer, I’ve got your back,” Linus said. I nodded and took the shot.  

“Hey, to Jeremy Swayman. One half of the greatest goal tending duos that the Bruins have ever seen!” Stevens toasted and the bar cheered.  I down the shot with a grimace but laughed. I thought that would be it and we could move on.  

Boy, I was wrong.  

Three more shots later and I was truly tipsy. “Guys, I think I’m in love,” I slurred.  

“Oh yeah,” Andy smirked, “with who?” 

“Can’t tell you. She’ll kill me. But I love her. She’s my perfect half to make me whole.” I smiled and tried to reach for another drink but Luke pulled it away.  “Hey!” 

“Nope, you’re done, Sway.”  

“Boo! No fun!” Just then someone tripped into me.  I caught the body before it hit the table. It was a pixie of a blonde. She had on a blue dress that left nothing to the imagination and sky-high heels. She was beautiful, no doubt, but she wasn’t my Stella. I steadied the girl on her feet. “You ok?” 

“I’m good.” She smiled up at me. “You’re Jeremy Swayman, right? I nodded.  Britney.” She offered me her hand.  

“Nice to meet you.” I moved to turn to the table, but she stopped me. “Yeah?” 

“Was wondering if you wanted to dance... or something?” She gave me a flirty smile.  

Old Jeremy would have been all over this. But even in my inebriated state, my heart only beat for one woman. “Thanks, but no thanks. I have a girlfriend.”  

“She doesn’t need to know,” Britney said as she caressed my arm. Don’t know how but that sobered me right the fuck up.  I pushed her hand off of me.  

“And I said no. Please leave.” I guess my face said it all because she scoffed, rolled her eyes and walked away.  I turned back to my teammates.  

Andy smiled. “I don’t know who this girl is, but she is lucky to have a guy who knows what he’s got.” 

I smiled. “I’m pretty sure I’m the lucky one.” I took one more shot before he slapped my back and walked out of the bar. I got to my room and texted Stella.  

Jeremy: miss you, Stel. Want to be in your bed.   Stella: I miss you too. XO 

Unknown POV 

It is the opportunity of a lifetime. I wanted him. I wanted Jeremy Swayman. But that bitch Stella sunk her claws into him. I needed a way to break them up. No one knows that they are together. But I saw them and all I saw was red.  Why did that slut have all the good guys? First her ex, who, while ok in bed, was the absolute worst in the daylight. 

Now she had Jeremy.  

Well, not for much longer.   

I snapped the photo and sent it to the Boston Globe.  

Let’s see if she stays with his “cheating” ass.  

He’ll need comfort after.  

And I’ll be ready.  

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

@kmc1989

@kandis-mom

@lokislady82

@raven-blue3000

[fayes-fics]

It Had To Be You: Upcoming Fic Excerpt

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader

Rating: Teen and Up, except one chapter which could be skipped

Summary: Modern AU romcom. A love story heavily inspired by When Harry Met Sally.

Note: Hi all, as a Valentine's Day gift to you all, I present below the opening scene of my upcoming multi-chapter - It Had To Be You. I plan to start publishing this in March. I hope you enjoy <3

UPDATE: full fic is now posted HERE

12 Years Ago

When you pull up outside her halls of residence, she has her tongue down some man’s throat—typical Gen. 

She finally acknowledges your presence when you lower the window and cough pointedly. A few days ago, when she said her latest boyfriend needed a lift from St Andrews to London, you didn't offer; she volunteered him to join you before you could conjure a believable excuse. Someone to talk to on the long journey wouldn't be such a bad thing; you tried to convince yourself reluctantly. You were slightly worried about who he might be. Gen’s taste in men could be best described as random. Or questionable if you were feeling less charitable. But as he turns towards you, something in your chest flutters. 

Oh. 

He looks different to her usual choices. He appears rich, just from a glance. But the sort of rich that dresses in ratty clothes as a style choice rather than out of economic necessity. His jeans are distressed around the knees, and there’s an almost threadbare patch right around his rather shapely - don't look there, you admonish yourself - arse. He wears a faded grey t-shirt and converse that are speckled with paint.

“Y/n, meet Ben,” he nods briefly before she pulls him back for another completely inappropriate kiss.

Ben...? Really, Gen? Matching names is a bit too fucking twee.

As they break away, he tosses his bags in the boot of your car and, after another round of tonsil tennis, climbs into your passenger seat. He smiles crookedly, and you see his blueish eyes catch a ray of late Spring sun; his voice instantly makes you shift in your seat as you exchange hellos. Definitely a posh boy. Definitely a playboy. Definitely not the type to keep his bed empty for long. You already dislike him. You especially dislike how attractive your body seems to find him, despite yourself.

This is going to be a long journey.

“You want to drive the first shift?” you ask politely.

“You are already there,” he shrugs, “go right ahead.”

As Gen becomes a waving figure in your rearview mirror, something tells you you will likely never see her again. It's that time when life goes in a million different directions—the end of university. You've been here for your undergraduate course. Apparently, he has been here for his master's in Fine Art. 

“What takes you to London?” he asks as you pull out of the university grounds.

“I'm going to be a journalist,” you state proudly.

He laughs. “You and the rest of the world.” 

You bristle at his amusement. You are a talented writer; you know it will happen for you someday. You have a summer internship at the Guardian. Okay, it's unpaid, but it's a start.

“You?” you shoot back, squinting in the sun.

“Artist. I’m setting up a studio in Hoxton.”

Urgh. That's so achingly trendy you actually want to smack him.

Your phone buzzes, and you check it discreetly at the next traffic light. It's from Gen.

I know exactly what you are thinking. Posh boy twat. His cock is amazing though. Safe travels x

You squeak and drop your phone into the footwell. Ben cuts you a curious sideways glance. 

“I can grab it,” he offers rather chivalrously as he sees you groping blindly around your feet as the light turns green.

“No!” you startle, “it's fine, just uhh leave it there, I don't need it. I know the way to Edinburgh from here.” your voice takes on a high-pitched quality that sounds ridiculous even to your own ears.

He seems to stare at your profile for an inordinate amount of time.

“Gen said you were a little high-strung,” he says drolly.

You frown over at him. “I'm just particular,” you argue back.

He laughs and looks out the window. “Mind if I smoke?”

“Yes, I do,” you prickle, “that’s a disgusting habit, and you should give it up.”

“She said you were opinionated too,” he adds, his tone so casual and laid back it just makes you more wound up.

“My car, my rules,” you retort, glancing irritated in your rearview at the lorry getting far too familiar with your rear bumper.

“That's fair enough.” 

He suddenly lunges for something in the backseat, twisting, so his t-shirt rides up, his whole body thrust towards you. You see a flash of toned abdominal muscle and a tantalising line of hair disappearing into his jeans.

You quickly cut your eyes back to the road and have to slam on the brake not to hit the car in front, praying momentarily that the lorry behind is paying more attention than you are. Damn him. 

“Fucking hell!” he exclaims, falling back into his seat and grabbing the dashboard to right himself.

“Sorry,” you mumble, knowing you are blushing. “Can you please not do that when I'm driving?”

“Do what?” he feigns ignorance, but you can tell he knows exactly what just happened, the cocky bastard.

“Climb into the backseat,” you grumble.

“I leaned back to grab something; I didn't climb anywhere,” he disputes, shaking a packet at you. “This is for your benefit, I might add,” he says pointedly, ripping open the box and fishing out a nicotine patch.

“Well, just sit still, please,” you huff, spying a flash of very shapely bicep out of the corner of your eye as he rolls up the sleeve and slaps on the patch.

“Yeah, not highly strung at all,” he mutters under his breath.

Yep. You absolutely want to kick him.

[straycalamities]

Your post made me curious about Julien.... Would love to hear about him and Andrews relationship

hmm...the conundrum with that is i would like to show it one day so how much to tell...

the thing abt this is julian has ALWAYS been written in andrews life. one of the constants of his story no matter how much he changes. (he used to be named Matty) but ive uh...been a chicken to properly show it because uh its HEAVY.

so hm...i've gone over andrew's family life before so it's not meh to go over it again i think...

that's also mostly stayed the same.

readmore bc...ya boys gonna get long-winded

so andrew has a very strict mother with very high expectations of her children, but especially him. his father is more lax and easy-going, pretty carefree tbh, but bc of this its to a fault where he also just..doesnt want to confront his wife. so things kinda..go out of control in the household as far as...his mom's weird like..competition thing between andrew and his sister

so andrew has a twin sister Alana (anyone remember Jackie? yea) and she's pretty naturally good at whatever she puts her mind to. not that she doesnt bust her ass, but things just? come to her. it's just how it is. and she's very much a daddy's girl which pushes andrew into the role of momma's boy. so then it becomes andrew's dad and alana vs andrew's mom and andrew. except. it's pretty much only andrew's mom pushing this narrative, but she's a very convincing person and is the kinda person to naturally command a room

alana is also a naturally curious person so she likes to pick up hobbies and things and practice them until she's over it or good at it or both. and thus..andrew gets pushed into these things too, to not be outdone

the thing about andrew, though, is that he's got a more particular way that he needs to engage with things to actually pick things up and learn them. first of all, he's a very kinetic learner so just reading or hearing a lecture about it doesn't do anything for him. and unfortunately he doesn't have anyone in his life early on (teachers nor family) who understand this about him. they just think there's something wrong with him or off about him or that he's lazy/doesn't care.

but andrew cares. oh he cares. way too much. and he works. so hard. to try to match with the expectations weighing on him, but it just! doesn't happen! no matter how hard he tries! he can't absorb what he's reading! he can't process what he's hearing! when he DOES get the chance to just get his hands on things and figure things out, he shines

and alana tries to help because despite it all, she cares a lot about him. she tries to show him things or tell him what helped her, but it's just..different. the things that work for her, dont't work for him. and she also can't be with him a lot because she has a lot going on. she has big aspirations and she has lots of friends (more things he struggles with) how did they end up so different u_u

so andrew's daily life is very very stressful. he feels like he's always under watch, under scrutiny, every little thing is being judged, weighed, and measured. and that just makes everything much harder for him. he eventually learns over-time to perform great under pressure but that's because the pressure in his adult-life is nothing like the pressure of his childhood lmao

(and if this is a universe where he's got the necromancy thing goin on, there's THAT whole can of worms too. bc of how looked down on and oo scary necromancy is)

so its like..andrew does have his aspirations, his dreams. he wants to be an astronaut! :) and he maintains some semblance of that goal his whole life. he just likes space! he thinks its neat and would rather just spend all day learning about space than anything he's supposed to be learning. not that it's easier, but he's more motivated lmao

he's a C or low B student (idk how to translate american schooling marks into anything else sorry..american moment) and so he's not doing...too bad, but definitely not enough to his teachers or his parents. and he's "inconsistent" bc go figure sometimes lessons are more to his learning capabilities and he excels so oh no now ppl have Proof He Can Do It why cant he do it All The Time. fantastic.

being so focused on making everyone proud or proving everyone wrong in other cases (yes andrew does operate on a level of spite) has andrew finding little time for himself. especially bc his moms the type to not like uhh idle activities. everythings gotta have a Point of Growth. literally the only reprieve is that his mom works away from home a lot, but she'll definitely call or video-call often to make up for that fact. and andrew's The One she has her eye on. he's Her responsibility to better

(the thing about his mom is god she's a strict hard-ass but she does love him uh...so i'm not trying to make it all Ooo Evil Heartless Mother Time. nah she cares but boy is she awful at showing it. and that's not an excuse but..yaknow. it is how it is. her whole thing abt being such a tyrant is that she's worried about him and wants him to do better and Be better and so she's gonna force it down his throat til it takes ...rip)

ofc his family all has their bonding pleasant moments its not all hell all the time and like i said his dad and sister are more uh..better at showing they care but still not..amazing. the whole household like i said before in another post is more reserved than like..ji-hoon's for example who freely give hugs and stuff

anyways so alll of this uh..stuff is to explain: Andrew Doesn't Have Friends LMAO his entire elementary school experience is spent not having time for friends and eventually just not knowing how to Make them bc he had no practice or experience doing so. and the other kids don't think much about him because he doesn't make time for them? they've got other ppl to hang out with. and when a kid does make an attempt he fucks it up somehow or his mom scares them off with the Restrictions for how andrew is allowed to interact with other kids (if andrew wouldnt tell them tho they wouldnt have to know..smh)

by the time he's transitioning to middle school is when he meets julian. julian ALSO does not have friends (gee wonder why (youll see why)) and julian sees andrew not having friends either and thinks well! time to have this loner be MY friend. and julian is a pretty charismatic person when he wants to be. he knows how to small talk and keep conversations going and all that. i say this like a tween julian already has evil intentions but tbh..nah it DOES honestly start off innocent enough. julian has a lot going on at home too and wants someone to be his friend. simple as that. andrew doesnt already have a group, so..easy choice there. should be

the stuff that usually scares ppl away doesnt work on julian because he's a very anti-rules disobedient sort at this point already anyways. he just sees it as a challenge really so even if andrew makes things awkward by parroting his moms rules on how he can interact with other kids based on her paranoias about the typical Child and what they could teach Her Precious Baby it doesnt phase him. he gonna do it anyway

they do have interests in common, turns out! they like some of the same music. some of the same shows/movies. and things like that. the rest of it Becomes shared interests bc julians the type to go "hey i like this. now you will too" and for the most part? their shared tastes go a long way and andrew DOES end up liking most things julian introduces him to

at first julian does kinda..have no choice but to follow the Hard Rules that andrews got for hanging out so..they pretty much only see each other at school, they start picking up writing letters for each other to read only when they get home so they can write a reply and they get kinda lengthy as more topics get added lol

but eventually julian starts convincing andrew to like..shake things up a bit. asks where he lives. turns up at his window. just to chaaat ofc. theyre not gonna get in trouble psh.. its just talking. then it becomes andrew calling julian at home even tho he's not allowed to be on the phone, but if he does it at night then nobody can catch him (or if his moms away bc tbh does his dad rly care..? but andrew assumes he does)

and so julian and andrew get steadily closer and closer that way and andrew is. ecstatic. his first friend! and a really close one! they're best friends! and for julians credit, he's still just thinking "yay i have a friend. someone that makes life suck less :) even if he's a dweeb who i need to teach to live life"

and okay well anything further about them needs content warnings: very unhealthy, toxic relationship talk. manipulation

so unfortunately. julian has a very uhh extreme view on his life. he likes to exaggerate everything (usually for the worst) and jus tlike in general. not just describing it, he actually feels like his life is the worst life anyone could ever have. his parents split up when he was young and now he's being raised by his grandma who is also strict but in a way where its like..shes strict on him but lives kinda like..whatever, herself. shes very do as i say not as i do but julian hangs onto the Example she's putting off and hates her guts for having the Audacity to try to make him do different when she cant even do it herself. he also has an uncle who has his fingers in a lot of very shady pots and so julian is keen to things he rly shouldnt be at a young age

so with all that, he has a tendency to kinda lash out at the world around him. thats sorta his...uh version of coping. and with so many ppl putting him at arms length mostly because of THIS part of his behavior especially, he's only got one person at his side. loyal. always there for him.

unfortunately thats andrew

and it starts small like..playful insults. nothing rly anything at first it could just be the way he shows affection. but then the insults hit parts that sting deeper and deeper. and get more and more personal. and julian starts making almost memes? of some of andrews faults, weaknesses, and insecurities as if that's just one of their Inside Jokes they have, yknow, as best pals. so andrew feels like oh well i have to like this bc its Special and its just for me. i should appreciate that he's doing this. nobody else has this. and he's not being Mean he's just being playful

and unfortunately the more andrew lets him get away with it, the worse julian gets about it. the thing is that nobody's taught andrew self-worth yet. he's been too busy trying to be what other people want him to be. so here he is, also being what julian wants him to be: a punching bag. but he doesnt realize thats what it is. he just thinks julian wants andrew to be the type to be "playfully rude" with but, again, im saying julian goes way past that

and as julian gets older, the more he reserves what used to be how he was with everyone, being him, being genuine in all the worst and best ways, with only andrew. so everyone else gets this very like..agreeable neutral kinda personality out of julian. so then andrew also sees THAT and thinks wow..i really am special

and as years go by and they go from middle school to high school and social situations change around them, andrew feels even more lucky he's gotten somebody special to him and that he's special to because by highschool it feels like everyones already got their cliques and their partners-in-crime and he'd feel like a mega loser without julian. and julians shown him and taught him so many cool things that give him things to actually talk about with other ppl when they Engage with him?

but yeah throughout highschool julian teaches andrew more and more rulebreaking habits. they even set up ways to make money at school w stuff like..selling test answers or snacks or stuff when they can get away with it. or skipping classes or other things. vandalizing things. pranking ppl (harmless :) ofc..but maybe only physically so)

so we return to julian's uncle. liek i said he's a shady dude. well. he starts involving an older julian in his shady shit. so now julian and andrew are peddling fkn weed and prescription drugs around their school and neighborhood. eventually they're hotwiring vehicles to steal. (kinda uhh tragically this is actually where andrew figures out he's pretty good at cars and likes them a lot and even if he's having a constant crisis about Being Awful, he's also uhhh more motivated to learn how to do a new thing and Be Good At It. bc that's the thing isnt it? he's finally Good At Something) and stealing other things too

and i kinda quickened the pace here but its like..well it does escalate pretty quickly because at some point julian has andrew wrapped around his little finger and tho there are the times one or both of them get caught and andrew gets in trouble, has a crisis, and swears off doing anything like that ever again!! julian just has to warm andrew up to it again. because by highschool julian also has the upper hand in that he's become andrew's gay awakening. so now andrew has a huge crush on him and especially wants to impress him and keep him around and notice him and find him cool and worthwhile

and at first julian is sorta confused?? but diversity win! the manipulative toxic asshole best friend is also into boys! but giving andrew everything he wants wouldnt be very fun would it? he has something to dangle over his head. and he's gotten to the point where this is high risk shit. andrew could very much change his mind about everything about them and leave julian and the longer time goes on, the more paranoid julian becomes of this very thing happening. so he holds onto whatever leashes he can get twisted around andrew

he'll entertain his attraction but never clarifies anything. never gives him like..bold affection. never makes it clear how he feels or if he's even completely fine with it? which adds pressure onto andrew that he's just making all this up. or he's being the weirdo, pushing something on julian who might be straight or something

outside of julian tho, andrew's family is noticing his behavior bc i mean..also hes obviously getting caught doing some of this stuff. and his grades are even worse. and sometimes they get calls abt him missing school? and they try to intervene bc like..andrews got One friend. its gotta be this guy. so they try to ground andrew, ban julian, all kinds of stuff but they're slippery and they've got all sorts of workarounds. and ultimately, they still go to the same school. and..sadly. this, at first, just makes andrew desperate to keep julian all the more bc now he's beome this like..symbol of freedom and having Fun and living life to the fullest and anything related to home starts being associated with prison, suffocation, snuffing out his personality and everything he's learned about himself and like..even if he doesnt rly has Friends outside of julian (he's convinced julian is the only friend he rly wants/needs) he's still seen as cool! the Bad Boy, the Hookup for cool shit (snacks, drugs etc) he's a hit sometimes with the Le Popular Kids ooo... and he might even get invited to get-togethers with julian (julian is actually the introvert to andrews extravert but he Humors ppl for the image and he likes the way andrew always looks at him like a lost puppy when he's trying to figure out what to say in convos with other ppl)

but overtime, julians just gotten too comfortable with being too rough with andrews mentality and his emotions. bc he's never stopped his absolute drilling into andrews squishy parts in order to make himself feel better. or somehow blaming andrew for everything, even julians own shortcomings. and playing hot n cold with andrews emotions and etc. like there's just a lot he does that keeps andrew eternally unsure of where he's standing with julian or if he's doing things Correct or in a way that makes julian Happy. and as andrew gets older and starts Understanding things, he starts Understanding that hey...there's actually a lot about this that he doesnt like. he starts trying to...ask julian to lighten up. to consider his feelings on things. that he wants to do..things he wants to do? why do they always do things julian wants to do. why do they always get into what julian likes but never what andrew likes.

julian is...surprised and he does not Like this change. doesnt like that andrew is trying to cause problems? in their relationship? like why make this a thing? when its nothing? it was fine before? but the thing about letting andrew meet ppl, gain reasons for ppl to wanna talk to him and know him is that he gets to know how other ppl are and how they feel abt him. and though he hasnt made any other Friends, he's just learning how..Normal ppl are. and how julian with him is Not Normal. and its in a bad way bc andrew feels bad! he feels sick to his stomach sometimes. and nobody gets to him like julian does! and he thought before it was the crush but now he's starting to realize...he doesnt actually feel that way about julian anymore because he's just gotten so...Cruel

well now when andrew gets grounded/banned from julian, he doesn't fight it. he doesn't find the loopholes anymore. he lets things go and just kinda...tries to see how he feels? and he finds he...feels better. there's ways he feels worse, but there's a lot more ways he feels like he can breathe. like he's a person. and he likes it so...he starts to just ween himself off julian. and julian starts to act up more bc he doesnt have his usual ways to Cope and gets in trouble more, being at school Less and that just causes more distance

and julian is finally living with what he was most terrified of. and andrew is willingly? throwing him away? and he cant have that. he's at his wits end and panicking

new content warning: whew boy suicide mention/suicide-baiting

and thats all i rly have to say aint it

he holds the fact over his head that if andrew actually does officially cut ties with him, julian will kill himself. that he has no reason to live if he doesn't have andrew. that andrew is his everything and the light of his life, his joy, all that. and he cant't just? leave him like this?

and at first andrews like wait no this is awful dont do that..im sorry and like..tentatively keeps his ties to julian, tries to continue things the wya they were! just uh..different! bc if julian wants andrew to stay then..compromises have to happen okay? and julian says he agrees but catch things getting worse again and andrew in the same boat he was before

distancing

julian freaking out in a panic at 2am on a phone call describing what he's about to do til andrew apologizes again

rinse

repeat

but andrew eventually is just...tired. man. he's getting closer to graduating. he really does NOT need this. it's taking such a heavy toll on him bc rly! nothing else terrible in his life ever really went away, this is just an addition. it's not that his mom saw him acting out and thought oh...this is bc im too hard on him, nah, she stays hard. she gets Harder. his moms stern and affectionless and doesnt understand his plights, his sisters always so busy with her life, and his dad is out of touch. and mostly: andrew doesnt want to bother anyone with his problems. its his own fault, after all. its his mess. and he also is terrified of what anyone would think of even..half the things he'd have to admit to get them to understand. or even a fourth tbh

so one day he just..has had enough. julian threatens to tell his parents what he's done, what he's really like even if it brings julian down too. julian plans to be dead anyways after so what does it matter

and andrew just tells him to do it and hangs up

he feels sick to his stomach for days, but also is too fed up to call and apologize or take it back. he flip-flops on both so much he ends up doing nothing at all

and this is where julian is officially out of his life. i call it Schrodinger's Julian at this point bc did he? or didnt he? well what is the truth is he just does not show up again. so andrew is free but..he literally does not know at what cost. and the guilt eats him up alive for the rest of his life as well as all the damage literally going from like 12-13 to 18 with what this shit did to him

(cw: suicide stuff over)

this is where some of the stories diverge? umm..he either goes immediately to college or waits. with the college timeline Also diverging to oh he makes it somehow or oh he has to drop out

my default tho is that he does try, but he has to drop out. and makes an absolute mess of himself while he's trying. college parties and nightlife and everything else. sex drugs and rock n roll pretty much. everything he knows about connecting to other people is completely Fucked and so he thinks he's making connections but it's not real. and nothing feels like it did with julian but that should be a good thing? or should it. he misses the old julian and he misses the good parts and he feels like he'll never have that with someone again or that maybe...if he did...they'd do the same thing. maybe its dangerous to be that close to anyone. but oh he wants it. so bad.

and we'll continue with my usual story but uh (cw: drugs/drug-use)

we have to delve a bit into the fact he becomes an addict. because he very much does. with all the escapism he does in college because he's just trucking along without processing a drop of this? no therapy? not even someone to vent to or hold onto? nah man. shits rough. and he loses himself in many kinds of drugs but heroin is his Drug of Choice and also loses himself in other people but in shallow ways. he becomes a party animal but in the worst way and that becomes his "college" is just this whole social scene that he's not even engaging with in a meaningful way bc he's too terrified of earnest closeness with another human being

meanwhile his grades tank and he just...stops going. needless to say he becomes very much a disaster of a human being at the end of this. the thing is tho..its all self-internalized. he doesnt take it out on other ppl or even want to make it other ppls problems. he tries to just come off as this rly fun guy whos up for literally anything. and like yeah ppl who hang w him enough can definitely See Somethings Up but he's literally just like oh its nothing! its fine im fine! bc no if he opens up about anything everyones gonna hate and abandon him

and unfortunately this gets back to his mom and she uh...cuts him off. completely. if he wont get cleaned up. if he wont just...BE better jst DONT be this trainwreck of a son or else. dont associate with her. thinking maybe itd be a shock enough he'd just Get Better? (lmao) but lmao no. and he rly spirals bad after that but luckily his dad and his sister still sneak contact with him, doing what they can? with someone who doesnt wanna make anything anyone elses' problem and insists he's fine everythings. Fine.

what Does finally have him like?? find hope again? and cling to it and start to eventually put his life back on its feet again depends on the story im writing but something eventually always does and he always has the same Sponsor to help him :'3 darius...(his old roommate from when he was a teacher at thornville..remember that guy? yea rewrote him into here in a different way) and idk..things do look up for andrew! it's just...a very much uphill battle and that's kinda usually where i place him in like Current Events in whatever sceneario/story im thinking of is after he's gotten on his feet (shakily but he's there) and he's usually a mechanic (sometimes moonlights as a necromancer for hire as well) and he's Working himself up to trying college again but hes taking his time. and he's got some sort of support circle (darius, ji-hoon, and sometimes others)

ji-hoon he actually meets as one of his roommates in college and it takes a lot of Effort from ji-hoon but he sees andrew struggling and kinda nags his way into his life to help and is usually one of the reasons andrew gets inspired to get better bc ji-hoon is literally everything julian wasnt but like in a good way. he cares, unconditionally about ppl in general but especially andrew because idk they just Click right. and like i said in another post, ji-hoon's family basically adopts andrew as well and they're so affectionate and loving and give lots of affirmations and stuff and andrew probably cries bc he's never felt that much love tbh and then feels like shit abt it bc crying is dumb, but then everyone else cries too (happy tears) and its like oh

idk this is where i start having lot sof tangential thoughts so ill leave it here but uh! yeah! so that's the story of julian and andrew! and the damage it did! and yes! this is true in every iteration of andrew ive ever written! (the julian and childhood family stuff part, not necessarily all the rest that comes after, a lot of that's new)

[thealogie]

Except for Macbeth and benedick what DT roles do you think are his best? Just curious and a little bored

(Also I’m no expert but I think his hamlet was actually good and definitely one of the best modern ones - that are available to be streamed)

Broadchurch, the midnight episode of doctor who, Des, and his episode of Criminal UK (it is very disturbing but he’s great in it).

(His hamlet is objectively amazing, just not my favorite Shakespeare I’ve seen him do. It’s probably the second best hamlet I’ve ever seen after Andrew Scott’s but culturally more important because it was the beginning of doing Shakespeare conversationally in a big popular production and I sincerely credit it with popularizing that performance style)

[concook20]

Wild Kratts Headcannon! (OC)

Nigel/Antonio/Andrew/Susan

OC: 1/???

Nigel Hunter William Jr.

Age: 45

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Bi-curious

Birthday: January 15th

Zodiac Sign: Capricorn

Height: 5' 11"

Weight: 180 lbs

Body Shape: Fit, chubby a bit, though

Favorite Color: Brown and red

Verts: Ambivert, mostly extrovert

Phobia: Pediophobia (Fear Of Dolls)

Hobbies: Hunting, reading, and rock climbing/hiking.

Backstory

This man was born in a family of hunters and sellers, who take animals or anything involved with cash, (like gems, money, etc), where he learns how to use hunting and selling as one. He began to train with his dad, where he met Antonio and Andrew, and the trio began to bond as acquaintances (his words). He doesn't have a tragic background, since he is just a dick, but enjoys the rush of hunting.

Voice Actor

His voice actor is Jack Hawkins, the same voice actor for this sweet fella named Gummigoo, from The Amazing Digital Circus!

If you know, you know. RIP🕊️😔

(Also spoilers, but the trio from the Amazing Digital Circus is what also inspired me to make these three!)

Family and Relationships

Like I said, he doesn't have an issue with his family. He is the only child to a man and woman, and was raised by them to become a poacher, so not much there.

He's a father and husband, he's married to a beautiful woman, Lita, who's 43, for 15 years after the two met at a gun range. He has a daughter who's 6 years old, who he adores so much and would be a wonderful father to her, even doing silly things with her like tea parties and doing make up. My boi is a girl dad by heart. 💅✨

Even if Andrew and Antonio can be annoying, he does care about them, seeing the two as brothers, even if sometimes, he wants to strangle the stupidity out of them.

For the villains, he likes Gourmand, the two even sometimes hunt whenever they want to. He doesn't care much for Donita and Dabio, cause he's not too keen on the fashion things, though his daughter loves her designs. However, he doesn't like Zach and Khris, ESPECIALLY Zach, since him having a crush on Chris is a sign of weakness, and how he just doesn't like how annoying he is.

For the Kratt Crew, he obviously hates them, but he does respect Martin for being protective for his brother, yet that's it. He still doesn't like them, in fact, he's like "Why can't we just kill them?" Most of the time.

Facts For Nigel

Nigel is on the watchlist??? 👀

Nigel doesn't listen to much music, but whenever he reads, he mostly puts on ASMR background noises to relax.

Nigel has a fear of dolls, because when he was young, he gave an old doll he didn't like, since it looked broken, to his neighbor. But one day, that neighbor was found dead and the doll was by the body, which made him immediately scared and asked his wife to buy his daughter some dolls.

Nigel adores the classic movies like Star Wars, Indiana Jones, even some animated films like An American Tail and Pinocchio.

Nigel can drink his whiskey neat~ but really though, he drinks a lot, not as an alcoholic, but close enough ig.

Nigel has anger issues, yet he doesn't know why.

Nigel secretly kept a baby tiger, cause it was cute, and his daughter wanted one, but no one knows, except his wife.

That's all for now! If you have any questions, please comment down!

[mlobsters]

supernatural s12e23 all along the watchtower (w. andrew dabb)

CASTIEL Kelly. I told you I'd put this together. I'm very good at following instructions.

cute

welcome back, friend-o

said it many times before and i'll say it again, so glad to have pellegrino back. man, he's just so creepy as lucifer. can't get over it. they can give the same lines to someone else and it never quite lands the same

LUCIFER All right, well, I'd love to chat with ya, but, uh, why waste my time, right? It's not like you matter. I don't need to put on the old Sam suit anymore, do I? DEAN You know, if you think we're just gonna let you walk – LUCIFER Oh, hey, Dean! I know you fellas are gonna try, you know, whatever. Whatever you're gonna try. But you can't kill me. You've never been able to kill me. And with, uh, witch bitch gone, you can't put me back in the Cage, so like I said… you don't matter. Okay? Buh-bye. Buh-bye.

is rowena actually dead? i was under the impression she was in other later seasons but i don't actually know. that would be a crappy way to go out, to be sure. i know they like to kill people off, but hell, meg got an amazing episode before she was offed. made me cry! meg!! gonna assume not until proven otherwise

KELLY I'm just saying, the checkout guy looked at us like we were super weird. CASTIEL Ah, you'll get used to it.

lol. (unwanted baby tip though, even non-half-archangel newborns grow super fast so you never know how long a size of diaper will fit. some are too big for newborn sizes almost right away! lol)

what in the world. did she just leak some lucifer baby juice on the truck through her hand

how very hell-ish. so who's our mystery guest. old angel, god, benny, hell-au!dean

KELLY Hi, Jack. It's, uh… I'm your mom.

ps my youngest kiddo is named jack lol

s12e23 / star trek: generations (1994)

have to get back to the nexus!

LOL scrambling for an assist from sam, maybe not your best bet what with sam and lucifer's history

SAM Crowley…why did you do it? Save Lucifer– What did you want? CROWLEY I wanted to win. I perverted Mother's spell, put Lucifer in a vessel of my own making because I wanted to win. You have any idea how many people have made a play for my throne over the years? Lucifer, Abaddon, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Too damn many. I thought if I could put the Devil on a leash… my own personal nuke, no one would ever dare challenge me again.

talk about embarrassing, good grief. i'm not sure crowley has the capacity to feel embarrassed really? so at least i'm not feeling it really either, except from a distance. he's not really bothered, i'm not really bothered! i'd like to think crowley would know better than this, but then everyone has their weak spots

curious where this "i hate my job" thing is going. sam seems dubious (as is right). but another thing i love that they generally keep to with crowley is he's playing a long game, almost always. reminds me a bit of a line about hannibal (though crowley is more mushy human regularly than hannibal is honestly)

hannibal s3e2 primavera WILL GRAHAM Hannibal follows several trains of thought at once, without distraction from any. One of the trains is always for his own amusement. ABIGAIL HOBBS He's playing with us. WILL GRAHAM Always.

CROWLEY Well, whenever there's a world-ending crisis at hand, I know where to place my bets. It's on you, you big, beautiful, lumbering piles of flannel

true and also buttering them up but also getting in a dig, all around very signature crowley, yes please and thank you

CROWLEY So if you'll forgive my transgression, I'll make it worth your while. DEAN Which means? CROWLEY After we put Lucifer back in his cage– together– I'll seal the gates of Hell. You'll never see another demon again, apart from, of course, yours truly. MARY You would do that? CROWLEY Why not? They stab me in the back, I'll happily stab them in the front, the sides, and right up their little black-eyed asses. So… we have a deal?

LOL he wanna move into the bunker too?

CROWLEY This is what you do when I'm not here? Type? DEAN Yep.

haha crowley see it's boring being the good guys too

now what are the odds that crowley does stay there, sitting down, and shutting up :p

DEAN Saving your ass. SAM You and Kelly just taking off was a stupid move. But there's no way we're letting Lucifer get his hands on that kid. It ain't happening. DEAN Look, Sam's right, okay? We'll work through our crap. We always do. But right now, we are here to get you, get Kelly, and get gone.

interesting, feels like sam rarely gets mad at cas. he was actually a little angry here, guess risking lucifer getting jack because they skipped town was a hot button

(ok i went to go look at the script to see if it said what he was thinking and wow a ton of stuff here didn't make into the episode. crowley being wayy too human and more. ok actually all of this is way different than what is happening, i gotta stop reading)

CASTIEL It's a doorway to another world. DEAN Anoth– What, like Narnia? CASTIEL No. No, through there it's Earth, but…but different. It's a– it's an alternate reality.

haha my hell-au!dean batshit suggestion not sounding so batshit!

SAM So it's a Bizarro world? Or – or like the place we got zapped to where we were, uh, uh, actors on a TV show. DEAN Oh, yeah. The supernatural wasn't real. SAM Yeah. DEAN And you were Polish.

:p silly

LOLOL oh my god hell-au!BOBBY! i did not go batshit enough. laughed until i was wheezing

CASTIEL As I said, it's– it's Earth. But this Earth is locked in eternal war between Heaven and Hell. There are armies of angels fighting hoards of demons, and the few humans that remain are caught in between.

--

SAM Yeah. John Winchester, our father. BOBBY Doubt it. He's dead. Been dead over 40 years now. Only reason I know about him is this Hunter I ran with, Mary Campbell. You get a few pints of shine into her, and she always told the same story about the man she loved– John Winchester. Azazel killed her about 10 years ago. SAM Cas, what the hell is this? CASTIEL This is a world where you were never born. It's a world you never saved.

haha so it's like SEE this is what would have HAPPENED if mary didn't make the deal with azazel!!!! so she did the RIGHT thing!!! you know i don't think she had a choice since heaven and hell were behind the scenes pulling strings, so i never felt like mary needed absolution, but okay then

MARY Okay. I think they're less than five minutes apart now. It's almost time. How you doin'? KELLY I'm dying. MARY I know. KELLY But that's okay. 'Cause wouldn't you die for your sons? MARY Yeah.

usually pregnancy/labor doesn't get to me but man this is pushing my weepy buttons unexpectedly. some of this being too relatable to when my jack was born (without the anticipated imminent death). they also deployed the mushy music

DEAN You know, Cas has faith in this kid.I hope he's right. But me? I have faith in us. You, me, Mom, Cas. And Crowley. Sometimes.

sweet and cute

shove lucifer into the nexus!

cute. and padalecki's hair always looks best to me when it's a little disheveled

well crowley surely can't be dead after this apparent self sacrifice too, right?

and now cas going in to fight when they're trying to seal the nexus. we're maxing out the drama

cas dead but what, soon to be revived by jack? chuck? somebody. and lucifer pulling mary into the nexus while she uses her amped up brass knuckles to..... punch lucifer in the face a bunch. hoookay. which conveniently now decides to seal with them both inside. with a dead?? crowley

i went back and read through the (production draft) script and things were moved around and a lot was changed/removed. i have only recently gotten in the habit of skimming the scripts when available more regularly for the ep i'm on, so i dunno how common it is for them but so far i haven't seen one even close to as many differences from script to screen that this had