#except Kinn who keeps saying that is fucking obnoxious

[roxannes-love-letters]

If I had a coin for every time I have overfixated on something that had neon lights, guns, and characters in open shirts with striking patterns willing to commit murder for the person they love I’d have two coins. Which is not much, but also not weird that it happened twice once you understand that I love characters committing murders in open shirts with striking patterns under neon lights.

[lj-writes]

In which I read Rey/Kylo Ren meta so you don’t have to

A trip through the Rey//lo meta posts today had me alternately cringe-laughing and needing about ten showers. And look, let’s make this very clear, I have no intention of harshing on anyone’s joy and no one, as a general rule, deserves moral sanction just for what they ship. Besides, some anti-Rey//lo rhetoric has a strong undercurrent of “lol them dumb bitches,” and the sort of assholes who use supposedly feminist media critique as an excuse to be misogynistic to living, breathing women can fuck right outta here thanks.

So I don’t mean to argue with anyone’s love, especially in a way that demeans people for what they like. You know what I can argue with? Arguments. Moralistic disapproval of what people like is as futile as it is intrusive, but one can examine the assumptions underlying the like and see if there are any currents that flow out of larger trends. That’s why I was looking in the meta.

What do the meta posts on this pairing say about the assumptions that gird their ship? Sadly the reports are true–there is almost no argument for this ship that I’ve seen that does not depend on a) romanticizing a war criminal and murderer’s mistreatment and creepy obsession with the heroine, or b) erasing and hijacking the character who did in fact have a great, redemptive character arc and a deep and meaningful bond with Rey. What was his name, Winn, Tinn? It’ll come to me.

Again I must emphasize that this isn’t an argument that people should not ship Rey and Kylo Ren. If that is what makes them happy, more power to them. Rather my argument is that the assumptions and arguments underlying this pairing are creepy in their romanticization of toxic and possessive behavior and racist in their consistent erasure of a major Black character. (Linn? Kinn?) That the arguments for the ship are bad, however, doesn’t mean the people who ship it are bad. Let’s make that distinction very clear. We like what we like for complex and often subconscious reasons. The goal of critique should be to examine and confront those reasons, not to blame and harass people.

Here’s a highlight of major arguments that fall under “romanticization of mistreatment” and “erasure of a major Black character (what was his name?).”

1. Torture and other courtship rituals

Out of necessity much of the interactions that shippers so obsessively analyze involve kidnap, incredibly scary and violative interrogation, and a pitched battle for the heroine’s freedom and the life of the boy she adores (whoever that is). If it sounds creepy to romanticize these scenes, hell yeah it is. Let me run through some of the big ones:

Kylo Ren believes in the right of the strong to rule the weak, and Rey is his equal. That’s love!

Actually that’s fascism. This was in one of the first posts I read, too, so it gave me a taste for the kind of arguments I should be expecting.

Kylo and Rey are Force-bonded because they were in each others’ minds.

He tried to violate her mind and she fought back, and that’s romantic? Is barfing in my mouth also romantic, I’d like to know, because that was my reaction to all these “Force bond” posts.

Kylo’s interrogation of Rey only hurt her because she resisted. He didn’t mean to hurt her!

To be fair, the author of this meta all but pleaded that this statement not be read in a sexual or victim-blaming way. To be even fairer, it doesn’t fucking matter whether it’s a commentary on rape or not. In case the author doesn’t realize, blaming people for being tortured or mind-probed is still victim-blaming.

Kylo told Rey he could take what he wanted from her, that comment can be read in a sexual way and hints at the nature of their relationship.

……?!!

Kylo tortured Poe much so harder than Rey, so she must be special to him.

So let me get this straight, the argument that a torturing, murdering war criminal would be a good match for Rey is that he’s worse with other people? Yeah, he sounds like a keeper!

Kylo watched Rey while she was sleeping so-

I regret to inform you that Star Wars Episode VII: Twilight was not a thing.

He was sooooo obsessed with her and wants her to be his apprentice! It’s incredibly romantic!

So he kidnapped her, caused her actual pain trying to probe her mind, and badly wounded her friend? Mmkay, sounds legit I guess.

She’s going to redeem him with the power of their epic romance.

Yeah because that’s such a great message, that criminals who mistreat women are actually secret romantic heroes and would totally change, honest, if you just gave him another chance baby.

It’s yin and yang, they’re going to bring balance to the Force together.

That is not how yin and yang fucking work. I picked this one out because the misuse of Eastern philosophy in this fandom is a peeve of mine. Let this one stand in for all those reach-till-you-dislocate-a-joint analyses of lighting colors, clothing colors, mythology, naming etc.

2. Erasure and hijacking of what was his name again?

FINN! I knew it would come to me. Man, for all he came up in these posts he might as well have been a walk-on and not a protagonist.

And I’m not such a stan that I’m salty he doesn’t pop up in pairing discussions that aren’t about him, except in this case the shippers themselves bring up his character and story constantly–except they don’t call him Finn, they call him Kylo Ren. It got surreal after a while:

Kylo Ren is a misunderstood and flawed hero.

Actually that would be the guy who was so afraid of the First Order he ran like hell, and lied in the process about who he was? Also I seriously hesitate to put the name “hero” to a mass-murdering war criminal, and I think others should be, too.

Kylo Ren probably didn’t do anything wrong, and to the extent he did he was under Snokes’ influence.

You know, I can think of a character from that movie who refused to commit crimes against the innocent despite a lifetime of conditioning, and his name is not Kylo Ren.

Kylo Ren is going to redeem himself in a big way.

As opposed to Finn who already redeemed himself in a big way? Oh you mean you want to see a genuine war criminal who destroyed and hurt countless people make his victims’ pain and deaths all about himself while he whines about how terrible he feels? Nah I’m good.

Kylo Ren grew up in an abusive situation like Rey, they’d be perfect for each other.

Yeah, it’s not like the movie had another character who grew up with abusive conditioning and had actual chemistry with Rey as opposed to terrorizing and violating her.

Kylo Ren is the first person to show affection for the lonely and traumanized Rey.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME. Firstly, that is not affection. Repeat that 100 times. Secondly, you are literally describing Finn while conveniently forgetting he ever existed.

Kylo Ren's and Rey’s character arcs intersect and complete each other’s.

That would be Finn. This couldn’t be clearer, she gave him the courage to believe he was better than what he was molded to do, while the immense risk he took for her showed her that she was indeed not alone in the universe. They changed the course of each others’ lives and set each other on the path to healing. Again, stop cutting Finn out of his own story and photoshopping in the Space Nazi kthx.

These posts were actually draining to read. I know for a fact that not everyone who ships this pairing makes these obnoxious arguments, but it appears these types of arguments are the ones that float to the top in terms of popularity. (I just couldn’t keep going after skimming or reading 104 posts by my count. Finnrey meta has 17 posts. *cries*)