#excellent updates to the mind palace this evening guys

[princehendir]

Insane guy who just found out that you can leave synth Shaun in Railroad HQ indefinitely if you want: I have to make a flowchart.

[kaiser-author-san-iii]

Star Light, Star Bright | Fatui Harbingers x (Fem)Creator!Reader

A/N: holy Tsarista, I did not think that it would be this popular. Thank you so much!! It's been a couple months since I got into Genshin, but I'm glad that the Harbinger trailer dropped cause otherwise, this probably wouldn't have existed lol. I apologize for the late update. I have been quite stumped in the plot and just taking a moment to come up with one. If I didn't tag everyone, I'm sorry! DM or reply to be added to the taglist! :3

Summary: Caring for children is hard, but it's especially hard when around the Fatui. Getting isekaied was the last thing on your mind after landing in the icy tundra of Snezhnaya all while your nephew is with you. What will happen when you encounter not only a Fatui Skirmisher but a Fatui Harbinger?

Tags/warnings: female reader, God!reader, Cult AU,

Not edited or beta read, we die like Signora.

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Masterlist>>

Chapter 2: The Creator's Welcome

Silence.

What could be said while the entire palace and the surrounding area waited with bated breath for their Grace to awaken?

They were fervent - they waited to leave and search for the "meaner" that has done harm to their Beloved but that would leave their Previous Grace with only the Heir for company and guard.

The Precious Heir - they have heard of them only from what was written centuries ago. He was beautiful - he was innocent and was crying for their Grace to wake up all while the Harbingers stood by with the Tsarista finally making her appearance, rushing towards the bed that their Grace rested in, bending the knee and holding their hand.

"Your Grace. Your Excellency. Oh, my Beloved Creator. What has that Meaner done to you?"

Nugget never left your side as he clutched onto your waist, but being careful with your arms as he was told by the blue-haired man with the mask. He was a doctor and clearly knew what he was talking about so the little one made sure to listen well. The Doctor man and the others gave them a room which is what his Auntie expected and though he was focused more on taking care of you, it was nice to wander around the room all while the Harbin Gingers (It was some word that he had trouble saying) always came to check on him and his auntie and even gave him coloring books and sweets and fruits. It was all so good and he made sure to save you some whenever you were going to wake up.

But he especially loved the Tsarista and Columbia (Colombina)

They were very nice. They held him when you were still asleep and he couldn't be there for the operation.

For what seemed like forever, when it was only a matter of four days, the bed shifted as Nugget was reading the latest book that the guy with the funny hat gave him. He wanted to read it to you when you woke up and his wish was soon coming true as he felt movement and looked over to see your [E/c] eyes. He gasped and immediately snuggled into the sheets and wrapped his small arms around your waist.

"Auntie! You're awake! You're awake!"

Soft wet globs of tears started to stain your shirt as you looked down at the child who held you tightly and didn't want to let go. It would have been endearing if it wasn't for the fact that you had almost died from possible blood poisoning from ignoring your wounds. Your Nephew remembered seeing a lot of gold and despite still learning, he knew for a fact blood was red.

Carefully holding him up and ruffling his hair, you kissed his forehead and wiped his tears away.

"I'm sorry I made you worry, Nugget. I promise, I'll be sure to look after myself but my main concern was you."

That response earned a pout but your nephew thought it was good enough for now. If you weren't healthy and in one piece, how are you supposed to find a husband or a wife?!

"Just don't go to sleep anymore or at least for a long time. You made everyone worry!"

"Everyone?"

At the mention, your Nephew saw the clear confusion on your face and smiled brightly, but with a glint of mischievousness as he swiftly, with his small feet could go, hopped out of bed but careful to stay clear from your arms, rushed to the door and yelled out.

"Auntie [Y/n] is awake!" he said with a bright smile that was quite contagious, but it was last minute that you saw a figure by the door, or make it two figures. They had hoods over their head but it was the masks that covered their identities - the sheer happiness was clear from their body movements and one of them rushed out to who knows where while your nephew ran back to your side and started to share all the books he's read while you were recovering.

He's always had trouble reading so it was a feat itself to see him now reading at his supposed grade level. He still had trouble with certain words but nothing to worry about.

While trying to process all that was happening around you, you heard multiple footsteps before the door flew open, and in walked in about a dozen people.

Your face heated up at seeing all the gorgeous faces quickly surround you, pulling your nephew close to your side, weary of what else could happen. But you could have sworn that there was a hint of sadness in their eyes from your pull away from them.

"Don't be scared. They helped us! They helped you! Especially the Doctor man." Your nephew grinned as he held your hand and decided to make you sit up and face the group properly and pointed at the Doctor. The Doctor that he mentioned was practically preening from the praise like a peacock showing off its feathers.

The grip on his hand lessened as you looked at all twelve people one by one. It didn't take a rocket scientist to distinguish the power that they all radiated. Though at the time, you didn't know of the power you held yourself.

The elegant lady with long white hair, icy blue eyes, and who seemed to scream 'Ice Queen', slowly walked up to your bedside with a gentle smile as her hand moved to slowly hold yours. Now, you wouldn't have minded if it was your nephew or family, but this was a stranger. A stranger with a very firm grip despite how delicate it was.

"Now. How shall we punish the meaner that's done this to you?"

Eh?

-x-

It was... a change to have people cater to your every whim despite half of them being just jokes like bringing you the finest gem. The honor of bestowing such a gem was by none other than the 9th Harbinger, Pantalone.

Your nephew was having a great time, especially when he got to get along with a majority of the Harbingers and the Fatui, who took the mission of entertaining Nugget very seriously.

Once your arms were good as new, you asked for the group of Fatui soldiers that you and your nephew first encountered. At first, they were adamant about having you and Nugget leave the palace but you needed to get back to your car and get the rest of your things.

But funnily enough, you don't remember a palace or an organization going by the Fatui in your life...

Not to mention, these people seemed to recognize you and your nephew despite you two not knowing any of them.

If you thought of it more, a headache occurred and the Tsarista was adamant in asking you to save your energy and that it didn't matter if you recognized them. That all that mattered was that you and the Heir were fine.

While bedridden, your Nephew had the privilege to waltz around like he owned the place and even got you some books to read in the meantime. You saw mentions of a Divine Creator, a God-like figure that was first in creating the world around you and beyond, the one that made the stars and skies. A Divine Creator from the Beyond gave life to a speck in the skies and named it Teyvat and thus, its first child was born.

During a certain period when the Creator was roaming freely, they announced that their sister was with child and so, the Creator named the unborn babe the Heir to Teyvat.

The book was quite the read and wanting to know more about why the people around you and Nugget called you the Divine Creator and the Heir, you took it around with you.

"Your Grace, you must bundle up. Snezhnayan winters are quite brutal. People freeze to death here, quite literally in fact." announced a Fatui sniper, the one that first saw you and Nugget as he came behind you and placed a coat, courtesy of Pantalone of course, on your shoulders and your nephew too.

Stepping out to the brutal snow, instead of the harsh snow that you were expecting, it was a light snowfall that shocked the group of Fatui that decided to travel with you.

[Nephew's Name] stepped out from behind you and cheered happily as he rushed out to the snow and started to play, making snowmen and snow angels with, of course, the Fatui looking out and being won over by the child's heart-felt giggles.

They were all trying to make sense of why the snowfall was reduced to just light snow instead of the blizzards they're used to until they recalled that their Divine Grace and the Heir were right here with them. Teyvat was the Divine Creator's first child and as the loyal child it was, it could always sense where they were. Though Snezhnaya was the domain of the Tsarista, the Cryo Archon, the Divine Creator's word was Law.

Ehe.

Everything came to a slow stop as the world first heard the giggle from the Creator and with each step that you had taken, noticeable patches of green started to appear and grow more and more. The chilled winds of winter called down as the grey skies parted to make way for the rays of the sun.

The Tsarista felt the pause of winter, looking out that the frozen lands of her region have warmed up to what it had been long ago before her ascension.

Her Grace has given warmth back to the frozen tundras of Snezhnaya to the point that the flora and fauna basked in the sunlight. "Nugget. Be careful. The snow is melting."

And like that, the snow stopped melting just enough for your nephew to enjoy making snow angels.

'Welcome to Teyvat, Divine Creator!'

TAGLIST:

@lizzhearthz, @yoshikuno , @anonclyde , @khalhaimdad, @ellenoir

@yunsblog030 , @lsleepysimpl, @potol0ver, @kitty-chan33

[2030kamenriders]

Update on the Persona 5 playthrough:

Finally defeated the boss of the space station level.

Uh.

Something bad is happening I think

Spoilers below? I think. These feel like major story beats.

So context: Joker and his gang of phantom thieves are pretty consistent about making sure not to kill people

Granted, all of their fights are in that cognitive dimension. So all they really have to do is defeat that version of the boss without killing them, and the real version of the boss will survive.

But there's also been mentions of some other unrelated guy in a black mask, up until this point

And said guy decided to show up?!

And decided to shoot the cognitive version of the boss bad guy for this level. And right after the Phantom Thieves left too

And to make matters worse: said boss guy is Haru's dad. This is her first big boss battle as part of the Phantom Thief crew.

Dude's gonna die

But there's more!

The very. Next. Day. After the big boss fight, Dan Lastname (Joker) finds Kasumi's good-luck charm and finds her to return it.

Context: Kasumi is this excelling first-year highschool student at the same place most of the other phantom thieves study at. And apparently that day, the vice-principal* was making her feel bad for only getting 3rd place at a big gymnastics competition.

(*I think. Could've been a substitute principal. The regular principal died before the whole space station arc. Long story)

This guy. This absolute jerk. He is threatening to take away Kasumi's scholarship just because she didn't get 1st place. What's wrong with 3rd place?! Was there only 3 participants at the competition, or are you trying to give her anxiety?

This guy also makes it very clear that all of this is only in an attempt to make the highschool look good to the public. (Well maybe you shouldn't have kept that one creepy guy from the start of the game hired after the constant allegations!)

Anyway, shout-out to Dr. Maruki for trying to call out the vice-principal. Unfortunately it was ineffective, but the attempt was appreciated. (This guy is just trying his best, but I think this job might unfortunately be more than he can chew)

So anyway, after school, Joker (and Morgana) find Kasumi at her usual thinking spot: the arena/stadium.

Except the arena is a cognitive Palace. Meaning it's one of the bad-guy levels in the Persona 5 congnitive dimension. So they get transported to said dimension's version of the place. And for some reason, despite not looking even slightly particularly "evil", it looks very eerie.

You know how in Kuuga, part of Daguva's scariness is how much of a normal well-dressed guy he looks like? It's like that, but with setting. This looks like some sort of fancy brightly-lit futuristic castle-type thing. Like some sort of place you would expect in a Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy type of setting. (Sounds like it too, in terms of background music).

Now the good news is that Kasumi finally gets Phantom Thief powers and that's pretty cool

But the bad news is. I'm kinda concerned about who this Palace belongs to.

Typically, to travel to a cognitive Palace in this game, the character needs a fancy navigation app, and must give the app 3 keywords while standing close to the real equivalent of the location. One keyword is the actual location, another is the name of the person who's the boss of the Palace, and the last word is how that person thinks of the location in their mind.

The fake version of the arena had a bunch of boards with academic posters and stuff (they were arranged in that way that science posters are arranged at certain research-related events, on arrays of move-able wall things). And the teleportation happened right after Kasumi overheard some passing-by people assume the place was a lab, causing Kasumi to say "this isn't a lab, it's a stadium". So that's 2 keywords ("lab" and "stadium").

But whose Palace is it?!

I didn't pay attention to every single detail of what Kasumi said before the teleportation, but I remember her saying 2 names.

One of those names is the name you give the character. But Joker wouldn't think of such a place as a lab, regardless of how the player decides to portray them.

The other name was Dr. Maruki.

There's no way it can be him, though, right? Right?? There's gotta be some other person! Maybe Kasumi said someone else's name and I couldn't catch it. Maybe one of those passing-by bystanders said some other name. Or maybe Maruki has some sort of estranged relative or something—

[thegeminisage]

it's time for!!! a ds9 update <3 wow <333 last night we watched "past prologue" and "a man alone."

past prologue:

FIRST OF ALL, THAT LITTLE GAY DOCTOR

idk what i expected but the scene i've seen gifs of was the VERY FIRST ONE right out of the gate. i was so thrilled. for some reason garak is WAY different than i expected. like, he's just as gay, of COURSE, but for some reason i expected him to be like...meaner. and instead he's sooooo friendly and he's also a fucking tailor. julian bashir needs a new fucking suit.

that said, bashir is so slow on the uptake literally all of the time. the suit thing and something in the other episode that i forgot. king how can you be a doctor when you are so stupid...not that i'm complaining. i wouldn't change it for anything. he's so funny.

HILARIOUS that immediately after he has any clandestine conversations w garak he has to IMMEDIATELY run to the "bridge" and tell everybody about it. he gets so excited. he really is hilarious i don't think he's done a single thing so far that wasn't funny. the fact that he was late to this little party also sir get it together

i think this ep had excellent character stuff for kira, who we've only known 5 minutes. it sets up her history and her current position so well, and her conflict of interests is such a real and tangible thing that i felt awful for her. like you knew from the beginning that guy was gonna betray her but OUCH. ending the ep on her getting called a traitor was Such a choice.

i also loved her little scene with odo..."i don't do pretense" alright autism king. and yet he talked her through it and then sort of took the decision out of her hands at the end (which was a very compassionate thing to do) when it became clear what most of her wanted to do...he's like. a really good person actually 🥺

HE TURNED HIMSELF INTO A RAT.......i love getting shocked when random objects turn out to be odo. i love playing this game. also, there was totally a leaky pipe in that scene too. ds9 feels so fucking lived in...you'd never have those on tng.

i also think sisko did a good job threading the needle here, even if kira had to go over his head to get him to see reason. you gotta do what you gotta do but he was mostly compassionate to kira's dilemma and even let her take point when she requested it...AND THEN LOL smiled while threatening her if she ever went over his head again. WHICH IS WHAT KIRA DOES. SMILES WHEN ANGRY. it was really good. i like him so much

it was such a nice touch to add o'brien telling him not to hand that guy over to the cardassians. the implication being that he was in the room when picard was transported back to the enterprise post-torture which like of COURSE he was. i don't think him outlining in detail picard's torture by those guys would have swayed sisko's opinion much because it's picard so it was also smart that he didn't go into particulars. but it does hammer home that what the cardassians do to people is real to the bajorans and to o'brien in a way that it is not (yet?) real to sisko.

KLINGON SISTERS. when they first appeared i was like "holy shit those boob windows" even though i didn't recognize their faces at all. i recognized only the boob windows. then when they said their names i was like I KNEW IT. what a funny little throwback

side bar i also love that they call the station itself ds9. they don't say deep space nine they say ds9 just like we do

a man alone:

holy racially motivated hate crimes, batman

wait sorry actually let me start at the beginning. the first scene with julian getting shot down 1000 times by jadzia (or are we supposed to call her dax...) was really funny. i'm trying to figure out in my mind palace if he's a bi king or a gay-but-closeted king.

also, so much happened in this episode. there was an a plot a b plot AND a c plot but instead of feeling rushed it just felt comfortably chaotic. i was never waiting for one plot to be over so we could get to the one that really mattered, you know? i liked everything that was going on except for the lack of garak i want him to be in every episode so bad

i like everything jadzia had going on this ep...like, people react to her different as a super hot lady than they did as an old man. sisko's talk about fucking the twins was especially hilarious. dude you can still fuck twins with her if you wanted. but the way that like 3 different people had romantic tension with her and she's just out here to do her job AND ALSO is like "i try to rise above all that" so true aroace queen. although i do actually know she has a romantic plotline with worf (who should be fucking riker and deanna) and also that *** ****, which sucks a lot.

i liked keiko getting an actual plotline in this episode. like this place didn't even have a bed for jake when sisko got here, of course she doesn't wanna raise her daughter there, and of course she's bummed out that her field of expertise is fucking useless there, although i agree w her husband that somebody needs to plant some fucking trees. i do disagree with her that it's less safe than the enterprise, though...that ship almost blows up every fucking week. anyway the fact that sisko was ready to give her whatever she needed was very nice. please treat her really niceys. side bar her baby is AODRABLE that child wanted her hands on that little bell soooo bad

speaking of jake!! it was nice to see him again. i like that when he gets in trouble his dad is obviously pissed without it being like a Problem. like he's pissed and jake is in trouble and sisko is gonna lay down the law but it's not a relationship-threatening issue. it was harmless teenage fun.

unfortunately sisko did kinda carry the idiot ball for the rest of this ep...i feel like there were so many choices he could have made to maybe NOT put a giant target on odo's back and it also took him a lot longer than i would have liked to step in once the mob started going, but he did step in, so that's what matters.

i loved odo in this episode!! he's just as angry as kira is in his own way, and his relationship with both her and quark (WOWWW more on that in a sec) feel so lived in, you can feel the years between them...it's also just now apparent to me that he's actually really protective, which, aw. i love also the lore that every 18 hours he has to just exist as goop in a pail. so true king me too

odo also aroace king he simply chooses not to couple. so true. that said whatever he and quark had going on was FUNNN i love a little sexual tension in my star trek. is he aroace or is he gay for that little ferengi. only time will tell.

on a more serious note odo's quarters getting hate crimed really drives home how set apart he is from others...and the mob section was GENUINELY scary. and he's so protective it was a little sad that kira was the only one really standing up for him :(

I NEARLY FORGOT TO ADD: julian bashir straight up growing a guy in a bubbly goopy little vat just to catch a killer? insane. thats a whole ass person who is about to be part of society who exists "just because." imagine the existential issues lmao

TONIGHT: "babel" and "captive pursuit." technically after babel we're supposed to watch "ship in a bottle" from tng, but i've been informed it's a barclay episode which means i will be watching it myself later tonight on 2x speed. it's not the first time we've fucked with the order a little bit lol (i was famously late finishing tas) so i still count it as mostly watching in release order

[merinnan]

DMBJ Explore with the Note Ep 5

Okay, now that my workshop is finished, time for DMBJ Explore with the Note ep 5! Otherwise I will spend the entire afternoon just fucking around in WoW instead (one day I will show you screenshots of my Iron Triangle-as-WoW-toons).

We start ep 5 with the usual counts 

Season 2 Xiaoge Rescue Count: 2 for Wu Xie, 2 for protagonists, 3 for everyone 

Season 2 Wu Xie Swoon Count: 0 

Season 2 Evil Hair Count: 3

Cumulative Xiaoge Rescue Count: 12 for Wu Xie, 17 for protagonists, 18 for everyone 

Cumulative Wu Xie Swoon Count: 6

- It's been a few eps since we had updates to the rescue or swoon counts, so here's hoping for Ep 5 

- Ah, yes, the baby archaeologists just discovered the heavenly palace 

- At least this girl is marginally less annoying than she was in the novel 

- ...okay, I take it back

- Sweetie, it's a fucking tomb, why are you upset that there's a corpse in there? 

- Those are some impressive fingernails 

- lol, and they were all so distracted by the girl that no-one noticed 'Xiao Zhang' going all Zhang Qiling to get up there to check out what freaked her out

- I am disappoint that they didn't keep the present time crew in form-fitting wetsuits for the whole underwater tomb investigation like they did with the flashback crew 

- OMG the look on Wenjin's face, I love it 

- I think she's starting to realise that he knows what he's doing

-Very good questions, Wenjin 

- Oh, so that wasn't just better set lighting, the tomb was actually fully lit somehow? The better question in this case is not 'why is it suddenly so dark' but 'how the fuck was this underwater tomb so well lit?'

- THEN you can follow it up with 'why has the mysterious lighting suddenly gone out?' 

- WHY would you bring such a group of easily scared kids on an archaeological expedition to EXPLORE THROUGH TOMBS? 

- That seems like a bad idea even if you didn't think anything weird would go on

- ISTG, Sanxing, Wenjin, and Xiaoge are the only level-headed ones of the bunch 

- A mural. They were in hysterics over a mural. 

- I mean, yeah, there's a lot of high mountains, so not surprising you can't tell which one it is

- I was gonna say she's super judgey for an archaeologist but...nah, yeah, that tracks for academia, speaking from experience XD

 - This episode has been taunting me with potential rescues that never quite get there, so it better actually pay off with one of them this episode

- Oooh, bitty shadow 

- Wonder if it's the baby corpse from the jar earlier 

- ...oh, right, Sanshu's still running around in some weird trance

- Awww, the lights go out in the heavenly palace room, and the entire set lighting goes from lovely and well-lit so you can actually see what's on screen, to super dark and shadowy, even outside that room

- Sorry, sanmei, I know I said I’d stop talking about lighting, but...I live in eternal hope of good lighting. The flashbacks here were actually GOOD up until now. So I am sad they've gone back to bad lighting. 

- I'm embarrassed to say that it's taken me the entirety of Guardian, Granting You A Dreamlike Life, DMBJ 1, and now partway through ep 2 of DMBJ 2 before I've realised that I can pause Viki playbacks by hitting my space bar.

- OMFG, how many rooms are there in this tomb with a set of porcelain vases arranged in a particular order?

- Smart, Wenjin, conserving flashlight batteries like that. 

- I know that this Wenjin must be older than the Wenjin in the Chongqi flashbacks, but why couldn't we have had this Wenjin in those flashbacks as well?

- Chongqi Wenjin is ok, but this one's more level-headed and competent. And much better at de-escalating semi-hysterical girls. 

- Then again, I suppose if Chongqi Wenjin had this Wenjin's skills, they wouldn't have been able to have had that dumb ~DRAAMAA~ with the love triangle

- Tunnel floor is suddenly wet again instead of dry. Wish they'd make up their mind 

 - Evil Hair Count: 4 

- This time creeping on random guy at the back of the party 

- Who is mildly disturbed that he's suddenly got water down the back of his neck. Don't blame him

- Judging by the way Xiaoge just clapped a hand over his mouth and nose, I'm guessing that they all just got gassed. 

- And it must be a REALLY FAST acting gas if they all collapsed like 5 seconds after Xiaoge covered his nose and mouth, and he seems to be fine

- Oh, no, spoke to soon, down he goes 

- Okay, Sanshu. A) That's creepy, and b) why aren't you also affected? 

- ...something that takes down Xiaoge for long enough that he wakes up in a hospital bed concerns me 

- I do not blame him one bit for looking so perturbed

- OMG, that GRRM roast, that's fantastic 

- I hope Xiaoge is just leaving out all of the unnecessary family stuff that he doesn't think Wu Xie and Pangzi need to do, otherwise he just implied that the Zhangs have just, like, misplaced him for 20 or so years and not looked for him?

- Wu Xie is always so desperate to believe the best of Sanshu, it's really cute 

- Ah, I see we're back to the requisite pingxie staring for the episode. Excellent

- Here's the clearest sign yet that S2 does not follow on from S1 at all, as it completely ignores changes that S1 made to the plot and instead is referencing novel events that did not happen in the drama. 

- I would have been SO FUCKING CONFUSED if I hadn't read the first novel

- lol, Xiaoge. Giving a tiny almost-smile and clapping someone on the shoulder after dropping a bombshell like that on them is NOT how you're supposed to talk to your crush

- And it looks like we're now back to Wu Xie's nightmares from the first ep 

- ...is that last one supposed to be Xiaoge? It's hard to tell with the angle and (yes, sorry, sanmei) the lighting 

- Way to ruin the moment, Pangzi 

- ...omg Pangzi 

- I'm kinda cringing now

-  Hahah, the look on Wu Xie's face. Like, same 

- Those are good points, Pangzi, but wouldn't you still have the problem of being underwater without oxygen tanks? That tomb is pretty far down and mostly buried in the sea bed, after all 

- ...Wu Xie that maths made no sense at all

- Rude. Pangzi has said useful things before now! 

- LOL at all the "don't touch anything" "i mean it" "also" "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING" 

- Because we all know that Pangzi is gonna touch stuff and try to steal at least one thing 

- Oh, there you are, A-Ning 

- How did you get in there?

- This is an unnecessarily long sequence of Xiaoge running his fingers over the door and Pangzi messing with his hair, set to super annoying BGM. Was it really necessary to have a full 1 minute 40 seconds of that? 

- That should have been done in, like, 30 seconds tops.

- I do like how excited this Wu Xie is to see the cool architectural stuff like the moving doors in here 

- After that first hallway, they all seem so unconcerned about traps 

- Tombs are usually, quiet, Wu Xie. Hence the saying 'quiet as the tomb'

- Xiaoge's tiny smiles at Wu Xie and Pangzi's banter are just adorable

- OMG THEIR FACES

- But guys, you really should have looked for traps first 

- Before the walls started trying to squish you like pancakes 

- "Start climbing", says Xiaoge, as he just fucking leaps up the sides of the walls

- Good thing these walls are conveniently not smooth and straight, with regular hand and footholds 

- Xiaoge Rescue Count: 3 for protagonists

- Not quite the dramatic rescue I was hoping for, but I'll take it since it's been so long 

- The closed walls has now made them a cute little tunnel to crawl through

- Oh, wait, annoying girl was from one of the Nine Gate families? 

- Which one? I'll have to look her up later, I've completely forgotten her name.

- Xie Lianhuan is talking Sanshu into taking him along on the original expedition. Honestly, dude, you dying is all your fault, you weren't even supposed to be there

- Oh, Qiu Dekao was involved in the 20 year ago bullshit as well. Why am I not surprised? 

- And with the tomb from S1, too, also 20 years ago

- Wait, if Wenjin was the leader the whole time, how come she kept deferring to Sanshu? 

- Dramatic bgm! Dramatic reused footage! 

- Oh yeah, the looks on their faces, I know exactly who just popped into mind for Pangzi and Wu Xie at that 

- Because who else could have done it?

- ...okay, except Sanshu, point 

- Oh noooooo, more fucking underwater diving scenes 

- This show is instilling in me a visceral loathing of underwater diving scenes. They're awful

- Like, seriously, after 5 eps they've already shown enough underwater goddamn diving scenes to fill up a full half of an episode 

- An entire quarter of one episode was made up of them 

- Oh my GOD that bgm. That was...something

- Okay, Xie Lianhuan was supposed to have dug this passage? Seriously? 

- He was only missing for a day before they found his body, how the fuck was he supposed to dig a loooooong passage, high enough for a fully grown adult to walk crouched, in less than a day?

- Ah, and that's ep 5. 

 Count updates: 

 Season 2 Xiaoge Rescue Count: 2 for Wu Xie, 3 for protagonists, 4 for everyone 

Season 2 Wu Xie Swoon Count: 0 

Season 2 Evil Hair Count: 4

Cumulative Xiaoge Rescue Count: 12 for Wu Xie, 18 for protagonists, 19 for everyone 

Cumulative Wu Xie Swoon Count: 6 

Season 2 is decidedly lacking in swoons so far. It better up its game.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Love for a Princess; Tom Holland x reader

*Author’s note*

Okay now for the real reason for all these updates, here is a request that came from an anon who wanted a Tom Holland fic. Thankfully I have written for Tom Holland before (hopefully soon I can transfer what I got on wattpad onto here cause let’s face it I love the boy and idk why I haven’t posted anything beyond the one fic I’ve got of his version of Peter when I know I’ve got like 4 other stories on my wattpad, I am sorry everyone)

So to the anon who requested the fic I hope you find it and I made some slight changes, NOT big but just very small changes but I still hope I did you proud on what you wanted and I also apologize for having you wait so long. Hope you and everyone else who sees this enjoys this loveable fic :)

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@platawnic

@waddles03

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I was up in my suite watching Spiderman Homecoming for what was probably the millionth time.  I can easily quote it word for word but the main reason why I’ve watched it so many times is because of the newest face taking the mantle of Spiderman, actor Tom Holland.

Sure while I did grow up watching the Toby Maguire version and enjoyed what he brought, and watch the Andrew Garfield saga however his story got a little too dark and I hate to say it boring for me, a bit boring to me.  So when they announced that for the MCU they had brought in this upcoming young actor named Tom Holland, one look at him and it was like I was actually looking at the real life Peter Parker.

What he did for Civil War, he had me at ‘Hey I’m—I’m—I’m Peter.’ Plus you’d have to be blind to say that he’s not cute.  God I just wish that one day I could get the chance to actually meet him, however there’s one slight problem.

“My lady, your mother has rescheduled your badminton practice to 11 o’clock instead of noon, shall I help prepare you?”

“No thank you Niles, I can do it myself. Thanks for the update.”

“Of course your majesty.” That’s why.  See I’m not like other girls, hell I’m not like other people. I’m a princess. No really I mean I’m an actual princess, the Princess of England to be precise. My name is (Y/n) Diana Elizabeth Charlotte (l/n), daughter of Prince Brian and Princess Anita.  I am their eldest child so that would make me next in line for the throne should anything happen to my mother.

I sadly had to stop the movie because it was now half an hour till 11 so I had to get ready.  My maids twin sisters Brigitte and Brigitta came in and they helped gather up my bat-mitting outfit, shoes and hat.

“Here we are Princess, your badminton outfit.” Said the blonde Brigitte.

“Shall we help you change your majesty?” asked the brunette Brigitta.

“No thanks girls I can help myself, you girls take the rest of the afternoon off for lunch.” They curtsied to me but I told them, “Ah-ah what did we talk about?”

“No more curtseys.” Brigitte whispered to her twin.

“Very well (y/n). Just call us if you need anything else” Brigitta answered and the two of them smiled and winked at me and I thanked them before dismissing them. I went into my grand closet and stripped out of my normal clothes and into my badminton outfit.  Once I got on the shoes, placed my hat on and quickly raced down towards the badminton court.  

As I ran through the palace, I was dodged servants and butlers but nearly may or may not have caused some of them to drop some stuff like plates, or accidentally bumped into pillars holding priceless vahzes to which of course were caught by the servants and I apologized profusely before taking ff running again.

“Here I am right on time as promised and I—” I suddenly tripped over my feet and I saw dozens of people coming towards me but I said as I stood up, “I’m good. I’m all good it’s all good.”

“I swear (y/n) you are probably the clumsiest girl I’ve ever seen. Even as a child you were.” I heard my mum tease.

“Mum please!” I whined out.

“Alright my Princess, let’s see what I’ve told you to practice.” My instructor Javier said.

“Bring it on Javey.” I challenged.  He served first and I quickly went after it.

Practice went on for the next hour and a half and by then I was beat and winded.

“Not bad your highness, although your stance is still a little off balance on some of your swings, you’ve got to make sure to pivot your dominant foot before striking the birdie.”

“Yes Javier.” I said as I took a sip of water.

“But other than that well done, your strike is excellent and you’ve got good distance on you. Keep that up and you could go pro if you want to.”

“Thank you again Javier, same time next week?” my mum said and he nodded before taking his leave.  “Oh hey (y/n) guess what?”

“What is it mum?” I asked her.

“Well I’ve heard some news that for the next Marvel movie, they will be filming it here in London.”

“Really? Which movie is it?”

“The next Spiderman movie.” It was then I spat out my water.

“The…the new Spiderman movie…shut…up!”

“I do not lie love.”

“So that means….”

“Yep the entire cast will be filming some scenes here in London.” I then offered a crazy idea, I mean really crazy and I didn’t know if she would allow it but I just had to try.

“Can we invite them over for tea and brunch when they come?”

“Well…..”

“Please mum, please! I’d never wanted anything more than this, you know that!” She looked at me and she said.

“When your father gets done with his meeting I’ll talk to him about it. If he’s in, I’m in.” I squealed and hugged her thanking her repeatedly.

Later that day as I was doing some homework, (mostly political stuff because hell even royalty needs to go to school) when I heard a knock at my door.

“Come in.” It was then both my parents came in.  My dad had his usual stoic face while my mum looked like she just wanted to burst out a secret.

“Your mother tells me you wish to invite some of the cast of the new Spiderman movie over for tea and brunch.” His tone was low and authorative, and I knew whenever he spoke like that, there was no chance of horsing around.

“Yes father.” I spoke softly as I gave my full attention to him.

“Your mother and I talked about it, and she suggests that it would be a good idea for you to hang around people your own age so we’ll send out an invitation for the entire young cast members of the film.” I think at that moment my heart just stopped.

“Are—are you serious?” I as bewildered.  He nodded and that’s when I squealed in pure joy as I hugged him and thanked him repeatedly.  He hugged me back and stroked down my hair and I felt him place a kiss at the top of my head.

“But there are conditions.”

“I better sit down for this.” I sighed as I went back over to my bed.

“First, I will be there with you to meet them.” I nodded and he said, “Second, if I see that you and Tom aren’t with the rest of the group and see the door less than 3 inches open, then they are all out. And number……”

“And number three your father promises not to be an overbearing daddy bear.” Said my mum as she wrapped her arms around his waist leaning against his shoulder.

“We’ll send out the invitation once the cast arrives here for their London location shooting.” With that my parents left my room and once they left I squealed and jumped backwards into my bed literally fangirling out at the fact that I was going to meet Tom Holland.

*Tom’s POV*

Once we had gotten done with the Atlanta shoots, we flew out to my hometown of London. After a day of filming here in London it was then I was told by my manager that I personally had been given a special letter.  Thinking it was from either a loving fan or even my nana (since she still sends in letters, not really tech-savvy) but it wasn’t until I had seen the Royal cross and the special wax-sealing that I began to panic.

“Oh shit, Harry come look at this!” Harry came running into the room and he said.

“Wha What is it?” I then showed him the letter which bared the Royal cross and he said.

“Wow is—is that……”

“Yeah.” I answered breathlessly.

“Well what the hell are you waiting for open it!” I broke the seal and it almost felt like I was waiting my letter to Hogwarts and I unfolded the letter inside and it read.

To Mr. Tom Holland,

My daughter Princess (Y/n) Diana Elizabeth Charlotte (l/n) has expressed pure interest in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, specifically the Spiderman movies.  Having been told that the cast would be here, you all are cordially invited to Buckingham Palace to spend one full day with the Princess herself.

You are allowed to bring as many of your younger cast members along to join her for tea and brunch.  Please RSVP us back immediately once you have come to a decision.

Thank you and have a good day and filming process.

Sincerely,

King Brian Harold Harrison Adams (L/n).

Holy shit. The Princess of London is a fan of the Marvel movies.  I thought politicians and rulers couldn’t focus on anything but politics but now knowing that the Princess herself is a fan, it was—mind boggling!

“Well what’s it say?”

“We’ve been invited to Buckingham Palace for tea and brunch with the Princess.”

“Wait, you mean Princess (y/n)? The Princess (y/n)?!”

“Yeah. And she’s even wanting to invite the rest of the cast to come along.”

“Whose invited us to where?” Peeking in was Zendaya and Jacob.

“Guys, we’ve been invited to be amongst London’s royalty.” Answered Harry.

“No freakin way are you serious!?” exclaimed Jacob as he raced over and took the letter from Harry’s hand.

“I shit you not guys.” Said Harry.

“Okay wow this is…..are we supposed to wear anything fancy to the palace? I mean I only had to do a meeting royalty for the Greatest Showman but this—this is the real deal now.”

“It’ll be okay Zendaya, it doesn’t say anything about a dress code so I guess just casual will do, but if you want I guess we could do semi-casual.” I said as I placed my hand on her shoulder trying to calm her down.

“When are we supposed to go?” asked Jacob.

“It say this Thursday.” I answered.

“That’s two days from now.” Harry stated.

“So are we gonna go?” asked Jacob.

“I’ll talk with Jon when we get ready on set and we’ll see what he says.” Man I still can’t believe it, the Princess (y/n) is a fan of the Marvel movies and she’d like to hang out with us.  Somebody pinch me because I must be dreaming.

After talking with Jon about this visitation, he allowed us to have a late afternoon/evening shoot once we got done with our meeting with the royal family.

Finally the day had arrived.

Instead of getting one of our cars ready, a car sent by Queen Anita herself to pick up me and my friends.  As we drove down towards Buckingham Palace, I said to them.

“Okay guys remember we’re gonna be before royalty. So that means no funny business, no insulting or offending stances, and try not to embarrass yourselves.”

“Uhh Tom, I think you should look in the mirror and say that.” Zendaya teased.  I glared at her and soon we felt the car stop. We all looked out and even though I’ve driven past it most of my life, here I was standing right before the actual gates of Buckingham Palace.

“Spiderman Far from home party?” one of the security guards came up to us.  We nodded and he said, “We’ve been expecting you, right this way.” We were escorted throughout the large corridors, all the while I heard Jacob say.

“Wow. Never did I think I would get the chance to walk through an actual castle.”

“I mean I had to but that was just a set. No this is the real deal.” Said Zendaya. We walked for what felt like eternity until finally we reached the grand throne room.

There sitting on the throne were King Brian and Queen Anita.  Our escort then stood before them and said.

“I present to you, King Brian and his fair Queen Anita.”

“Your majesties.” I said as I bowed along with all my friends.

“Oh please rise Tom, you and your friends are no strangers to us. Richard, go fetch our daughter.” Said Queen Anita.

“Yes my Queen.” He bowed and went off to go get the Princess.

“Your palace is amazing your majesties…..uhh your highnesses….I mean….” Jacob started stammering before Zendaya kicked him in the shin making him cry out.

“Thank you Jacob.” Said King Brian gratefully.

“Presenting, her royal highness, Princess (y/n) Diana Elizabeth Charlotte (l/n).” Richard’s voice soon proclaimed.  It was then coming out from the side door was the most gorgeous girl I had ever seen.

She was in a beautiful lavender A-line wickstead dress.  Her hair was done in gentle waves and she wore one of those large sunhats of the same color.  It kinda reminded me of one of those old school movies from like the 30’s or 40’s when the actress would walk in wearing those big hats before revealing the beautiful face underneath.  She walked up towards us and smiled widely.

*My POV*

God I can’t believe they’re really here! Zendaya, Jacob, Harry (Tom’s assistant) and of course the leading man himself, Tom Holland.  They were all dressed up in semi-formal outfits.

“Hi. I’m so glad you all accepted the invitation. I’m a huge fan of the MCU but if I had to pick, then Homecoming if defiantly my #1”

“Wow that’s awesome!” said Jacob.

“Thanks Princess.” Said Zendaya.

“Oh please no formalities I hate that. Call me (y/n). And by the way Zendaya, amazing job in the Greatest showman, I literally can’t stop watching that film.”

“Thanks, you know I did all my own stunts in that right?”

“Shut up!” she exclaimed.

“For real I did, as did Zac.”

“Okay that’s it, you’re officially the coolest person ever!” She grinned and the two of us shook hands with each other.  Guess I already found my best friend of the cast.  I then turned to Tom and said to him. “You’ve been a bit quiet Tom, is everything alright?” He stammered but managed to say.

“Y-yeah. Yeah everything’s…..everything’s fine.” His voice even did that cute little boyish crack.  I smiled and said.

“I hope you weren’t expecting anything grand or different.”

“No!” he suddenly blurted out which echoed throughout the throne room.  He cleared his throat embarrassed and said, “I mean no, not at all. I mean I wasn’t expecting much I mean—” I giggled softly. Oh go he was cuter in person.

“Well, since you all are already dressed, I’ll escort you to the garden where Martin will serve us our tea and brunch. If you all will please follow me.” I then escorted them out of the throne room and out to the garden.

*Tom’s POV*

As we were walking I couldn’t help but think how much of an idiot she must think I am.

“Mate what’s going on with you?” whispered Harry.  I shrugged and that’s when I felt my phone vibrate.  I opened it up to see that Zendaya had texted me saying.

Smooth lover boy

I glared at her and she just grinned smugly at me.

*My POV*

We soon arrived at the garden where Martin and Chessie were serving us brunch and tea. The garden was decored with the finest silk streamers and the tea set we were using today was imported to us from Japan. The finest Japanese tea set we’ve ever had the privilege of owning.

“I hope all of this isn’t too much for all of you. I don’t wish to overwhelm you all.” I said.

“No, no this is great. Never did I think we’d get to go into a real royal palace.” Jacob said.

“And these teacups are so beautifully decorated.” Said Zendaya as she admired her teacup.

“Yeah. It was hand painted by one of the best Japanese painters and sculptures.”

“Wait so this was also sculpted too?” I nodded.  It was then Chessie came in and said.

“So what shall it be today your majesty.”

“Ohh Chessie you know the rules, guest always go first.”

“Right, right forgive me Princess.” Zendaya went and ordered some blueberry French toast, Jacob got the order of deviled eggs, Harry ordered some Egg and cheese hash brown waffles, and surprising Tom asked for my favorite brunch meal the Vanilla crumpets with cinnamon cream.

“So you like vanilla crumpets too?” I asked.

“Yeah uhh….my mum always made them for brunch when I was a kid and I just can’t stop eating them.”

“Yeah, my mum got me into these when we went on a business trip to Madrid. Ever since then I had it immediately put on the brunch menu.” Soon enough the food arrived and I asked, “So how long are you all here shooting in London for?”

“Three months?” questioned Zendaya.

“Yeah about three months. Just to get some of the vacation shots before we have to go back to Atlanta.” Answered Harry.

“So Jacob, Zendaya have you two seen more of the city yet?”

“Not yet, film schedules keep us on our toes that we rarely have any time to go see the sights. And this is my first time visiting London.” Answered Jacob.

“Well if you’re willing as well as with the permission of your director. I’d be more than willing to give you all a royal escort throughout the town. I can even show you my favorite sights.”

“Really you’d do that? Oh thank you your majesty. Uhh I mean (y/n), sorry.”

“It’s okay Jacob.”

“So (y/n), if you had to pick your favorite marvel superhero who would it be?” asked Zendaya.  I blushed and quickly looked to Tom and said.

“Well I mean…..not to be biased since the actor playing my favorite character is here but Spiderman was my first superhero movie I ever saw. Saw it during Toby Maguire’s movies, then I watched the Andrew Garfield ones, wasn’t as into them as Toby but…..when Civil War came out I—guess I found my new favorite Spiderman.”

“Re—really?” Tom asked. I bashfully nodded and I said.

“Yeah, ever since then I’ve been diving into the Spiderman rabbit hole. Reading everything I could. I even have some of the original comic books up in my room.”

“You’re serious? The Original copies!? Like first print editions?” exclaimed Harry.

“Mm-hmm. Got the as birthday presents. Didn’t ask for them but dad has always spoiled me like that. I—only just wish I could’ve met the creator of my favorite franchise. I’m so sorry to hear about him.”

“We never even saw it coming. I mean yeah he was old but every time we saw him he was—just so full of love and life. And now he’s gone.” Tom said solemnly.  I then reached out for his hand, hoping that I wasn’t crossing anything but I said to him.

“Yeah, and I have no doubt in my mind he finally got to see the Spiderman he imagined through you Tom. And—at least he’s now reunited with his wife. It couldn’t have been easy living without her with as long as they’ve been together.” He looked at me and softly smiled before gently squeezing my hand back.  God his hands were so warm.

“He even kept a picture of her in his pocket and he’d look at it every time he was on set with us after she died. He really did love her.” Zendaya said.

“I’d probably do the same.”

“He was a great man, and he’ll be forever missed. To Stan “the Man” Lee.” Harry said as he raised his teacup.

“To Stan “the Man” Lee.” We all joined in the cheers.

After we all had brunch I showed the guys more of the palace grounds.  From the garden, to the meeting rooms, the training facility (cause hey even a royal Princess needs to know how to defend herself) and the shooting range.

“Oh hey guys I haven’t shown you the best part, c’mon follow me!” we all raced along the corridors till we reached my dance room.  In here I’ve got practically every dance game known to mankind from the old school Dance, Dance revolutions, to the current Just Dance. The Michael Jackson experience, Black-eyed Peas experience, and everything else in-between. You name it, I’ve got it.

“Whoa!” the all choired out in awe.

“Welcome to my personal ballroom.”

“(Y/n) this is—this is dope. This is…..you’ve got practically very dance game that’s ever been released. Even the old machine ones that you jump up and down on to match the arrows with.” Said Zendaya.  I entered into the changing room to put on some more casual clothes that are appropriate for dancing and said.

“Yep. So you guys think you can take on the champ?” I bragged.

“Please Princess, I’ve got the high score on Just Dance 3 by beating these three losers.” Zendaya bragged as she tossed her hair aside.

“Well then, care to see who the champion of champion really is?”

“Oh girl you are on.” We slapped hands with each other and I got the game set up. I told the guys where to find some clothes in case they didn’t want to ruin their formal attire and let it get all sweaty. Zendaya came out wearing a black tank top with a pink heart on it as well as yoga pants.  Jacob wore a plain white t-shirt and khaki colored pants, Harry kept his jeans but changed into a grey short sleeved shirt and Tom was wearing a black basket-ball like t-shirt as well as pants.  I adverted my eyes so that I wouldn’t be caught staring at those toned arms of his.

I turned on the X-box 360 and went through the process of getting through the menu and both Zendaya and I signed in as a duel battle.

“Alright you pick the song Z-Daya.”

“Gladly your majesty. And don’t worry I’ll make sure to make it an easy song.” At that point the guys exclaimed as she had burned me.

“Ohh that’s how it is huh?”

“That’s exactly how it is Princess.” She teased.  She scrolled through the menu until she reached ‘Pump it’ by the Black-eyed Peas. “You ready?”

“Are you?” I mocked as I stretched out my arms and gave my legs a good shake off. Zendaya jumped up and down shaking out her nerves and I slide the screen to play.

I’ll admit, Zendaya definitely kept me up on my toes.  It was literally a back and forth of us either nailing the move or one of us missing a step or two.  Our scores were practically neck and neck but in the end she did end up beating me by 100. The boys were all cheering and Zendaya and I clasped hands with each other and hugged it out.

“You weren’t kidding, you truly are the master.”

“Yeah but gotta admit, you’ve worked me harder than those three chuckleheads over there combined.”

“Okay so whose next?” For the next couple hours it was nothing but dance battles. Tom vs. Harry, Harry vs. Jacob, Jacob vs. Tom, Tom vs. Zendaya, and every other combination you can think of. That was until it came to Tom vs. me. I was scrolling through the playlist until Rihanna’s Umbrella came on and at that point everyone but Tom exclaimed.

“DO THAT! THAT’S THE ONE! DO THAT!”

“Ohh god guys no!” Tom groaned.

“Ohh c’mon Tommy honey that’s your song!” Jacob exclaimed.

“Are you guys talking about the time you two were on Lip Sync Battle?” I asked.

“Oh my god you—you saw that?” squeaked Tom.

“Yeah, I didn’t see it live but a friend of mine showed me the Youtube link and I was….amazed. You’re a pretty good dancer Tom, and you definitely pulled off the Rihanna look quite well.” He blushed and cleared his throat and said.

“Okay we’ll—we’ll do it. If you’re game for it.”

“Ohh I’m game. But in the light of us doing this song, if we’re gonna do it….” I quickly raced over to my prop box and pulled out two umbrellas. “We’ll do it right!” I tossed him one of the umbrellas and everyone cheered.  I went back to the controls and scrolled through the list explaining to them, “Let me just find the one with the alternate duel battle of this song. That doesn’t have the umbrella in it.” After about 7 songs, I found it.  “You ready?”

“Let’s do it.” He said.  I pressed the start key and I got into position one.

I gotta say even with a whole different choreography than he learned the first time, Tom still knows how to work an umbrella and how to sensualize himself when the dance called for it.  I was just thankful this wasn’t a Lip sync battle cause otherwise I would’ve definitely lost.

*Tom’s POV*

Wow she was good.  She was…..she knew exactly how to keep in time with each dance move and it….wow she was sensational.  I swore I almost got distracted and almost stopped dancing because I just couldn’t take my eyes off of her.  If I didn’t know any better I’d say that like me she had dancing experiences when she was a child.

By the end of it all she ended up winning but I wasn’t a sore loser about it, I congratulated her on the win.

“Not bad, you still got it.” She said.

“Thanks, hey did uhh—did you ever take dance lessons before?”

“A little bit, mostly ballet but I hated it so I quit within a year. No most of my dancing comes from playing these games.”

“Well you danced like a pro.” I said.

“Care to go for another round?”

“Uhh hate to break it up guys but that was Jake. Says Jon wants us back on set within an hour.” Harry said as he held up his phone.

“Aww man but I was about to break my high score on Crazy little thing called love. And I was gonna have (y/n) be my leading lady!” Zendaya whined out.

“Sorry guys but we gotta go.”

“No problem, go ahead and change and I’ll have a car for you guys outside to escort you back to the set.” She explained but I could sense the sadness in her tone. Call it my own ‘spider sense’ but I could tell she was a bit disappointed in the visit being cut so short. And believe me she wasn’t the only one.

After getting changed back into the clothes we came in with and walking through the hallways to the same path we came in on, Harry pulled me aside and said.

“Alright when you gonna tell her?”

“Tell who what?”

“Don’t play games her Thomas, all day you’ve been making goo-goo eyes at the Princess. When you gonna tell her you love her?” Zendaya pressured.

“Whoa what? Love!? Who—who said anything about love? I mean yeah she’s cute but I—she….” Of course all three of them weren’t buying this and I sighed heavily and said, “So what if I did? Huh? She a Princess. I’m just an actor. I’d never fit in with her class.”

“Bullshit, don’t you know she’s been making the same lovey-dovey look to you. She does love you. And not just because you’re Spiderman dude, you’re a total catch. Now let her reel you in!” Zen lectured me.

Soon we reached the main entrance and walked out of the palace and there standing by the same driver that brought us here was (y/n).  We all walked towards her and she said.

“Thank you all again for accepting my invitation this…was the most fun I’ve had in years.”

“Thank you (y/n) for inviting us. I really hope we can hang out again sometime.” Jacob said as they shook hands with each other and he got into the car first.  Zen walked up to her and said.

“See yah later Princess.”

“See you Zendaya, and I promise next time we meet on the dance battlefield, I will show you why I am the champion.”

“I’ll be counting on that.” They clasped hands with each other before hugging each other and she went into the car.  Harry walked up to her and bowed his head.

“Thank you your royal highness for this lovely day.” He spoke with such a posh tone it was laughable, and (y/n) seemed to agree with it.

“You are most welcome kind Harrison.” He took her hand and kissed the back of it just to irk me before getting into the car.  Finally it was my turn.  The two of us stood face to face with each other and we both spoke up at the same time.

“I just wanted—” we both laughed nervously and I told her to go first.

“I….especially want to thank you for coming. I—didn’t think you’d come personally.”

“I maybe an actor but I’m not like all those spoiled kid actors that throw tantrums if they don’t get their way.” She smiled and continued,

“Still it—made me happy that you all accepted the invitation.”

“Thank you for inviting us. And hey if—if you have time to come by the set, I’ll personally see to it that you are given all access to everything. Just as long as you don’t spoil it.”

“Don’t worry I won’t. I’m not like you when it comes to spoilers.” I gawked at her which made her laugh some more but I didn’t retaliate cause it was true. “Well, goodbye Tom.” She held her hand out to me and I took it and we shook on it.

“Goodbye, (y/n).” she smiled before finally letting go of my hand and she started heading back up the stairs towards the palace.  Graaahhh! You bloody idiot go after her! This could be the last time you see her! Go. After. Her. C’mon Spiderman! “(Y/n) wait!” I raced up towards her and I quickly said as I gripped her shoulders, “I pray I don’t get shot for this.” Then I went for it.

I kissed her, right on the lips.

I felt her tense up but she didn’t push me away.  I felt her wrap her arms around me as the kiss deepened a bit before we finally separated.  The two of us softly panting and I said.

“God I—I’m sorry I-I-I-I just….it’s just that I….” she interrupted me by kissing me again before whispering.

“You have no idea how long I’ve dreamed for this to happen.”

“R-really?”

“Yeah. Sorry if that sounds creepy.”

“No! No not at all. I—it’s just when you first walked out it….it looked like I was looking at an angel, oh god that sounds so cringy doesn’t it?”

“A little. But also sweet. Most boys that I meet either just want to get to the crown or just treat me as a Princess. They don’t see me for what’s underneath, and I’m glad you got to see that.”

“Anytime. So…..are we….” I drawled out as I gestured between the two of us.  She giggled and said.

“Only if you’re okay with it.”

“I’m okay if you’re okay.”

“Okay then we’re okay.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Alright this is getting old.” She joked which made us both laugh.

“Can I….get your number?” She nodded and we exchanged phone numbers with each other and I sent her a test text and once she got it, she simply replied with a heart emoji.  “I’ll give you a call whenever we get done filming.”

“Sounds good, have fun filming. Spiderman.” I smiled at her and gave her one last kiss before she turned and walked back up towards the palace.

From the car I could see the guys all giving me emphasized winks and thumbs up. I rolled my eyes at them but I couldn’t help but thank those guys in the end.  If they hadn’t gotten me to admit that I had fallen in love with (y/n), I wouldn’t have gotten the guts to kiss her and show her how I felt about her.

As I got into the car, I couldn’t help but stare down at her message and so I sent her a kissy face emoji along with a little message. That typical three word phrase “I Love you” MY Princess.

[scandinaviacroatiaengbergs]

Monday and Tuesday: Stockholm to Gothenburg (with a few extra nice words about the Stockholm Central Station!)

Wow!  I am so behind on these posts!  We’ve been having such full days, with the kids going to bed later than usual, that I haven’t had time to write a post in the evening on many days. OK, so after we successfully woke up on the Baltic Princess to disembark by 6:10, we got off the ship with little fanfare and found ourselves in the chilly Stockholm morning.  It was the first time the weather on this trip has been chilly at all (but it warmed up in the daytime, considerably, during our two daytimes there).  The kids and I actually waited inside for our Uber.  We got to our hotel, the Nordic Light, by 7 a.m. and miraculously, they were able to check us in.  We were so glad. Now, this hotel is one of the last things we booked for the trip (actually, we still have two things to book: our rental car in Croatia and a night back in Gothenburg in a week).  Finding lodging in Stockholm was *so hard.*  I mean, I felt totally rejected because I seriously put booking attempts in at about 7 Airbnbs and was declined on all of them. We have an extensive Airbnb track record with a good set of reviews ourselves, so I couldn’t figure out what the deal was! And all of the places were *so* expensive! We had similar trouble in Oslo and Copenhagen, trouble like I’ve never had booking something anywhere we’ve traveled.  Rejection after rejection.  So, for Copenhagen, I selected “instant book” and got something, and in Oslo, one guy finally accepted our request (I am writing this from Oslo now and the place is totally awesome). Anyway, back to the Nordic Light, it is actually a very good thing we booked a hotel rather than an Airbnb because we were able to check in early, which would’ve been very unlikely for an Airbnb.  It was a really cool-looking hotel, just recently updated and kind of on a main drag, right adjacent to the train station, which I will come back to. We got ourselves collected, after the kids watched some show on National Geographic about extreme truck/equipment repairs in Alaska, and we walked first to the Old Town and, en route, we passed a wonderful shopping street, and I noticed two stores I had to return to later (and did): Paper Tiger (which is based in Copenhagen and I’d noticed two years ago in Warsaw)  and Villervalla children’s clothing.  It looked *totally* cute.  When I went back later that day, I got the kids new sun-protecting long-sleeved swim one-pieces.  So cute.  OK, so on our walk to the Old Town, we passed Parliament and then the royal palace, and once we were on the other side of the royal palace, we actually saw two horse-and-carriages go by.  The kids were pretty into that.  Once we were kind of on the outskirts of the Old Town, we stopped to eat and the kids got quiche and a waffle with ice cream—yes, ice cream at breakfast time. This was Eric’s choice and he chose carrot cake ice cream, and Cece and he gobbled it up, and Rowan actually turned it down!  It was crazy!  The boy has been asking for ice cream like multiple times daily, and then we have it for *breakfast* and he’s like, no thanks! So, after going through the Old Town, we went along one of the rivers (Stockholm is comprised of multiple islands so there are rivers –or inlets, whatever—everywhere and bridges everywhere) and visited the Vasa Museum.  It was recommended to us by our friend Ethan, whose brother lived in Stockholm for a long time.  Anyway, the Vasa was a 17th century multi-use transport/war ship (it had a ton of cannons) which, on its maiden voyage, sunk in Stockholm harbor.  We learned that a lot of ships are lying in the muck at the bottom of the harbor, as capsizing was not uncommon.  What is unique about this ship is that, a) it was brand new, so it was kind of state-of-the-art at the time and loaded with provisions that reflected the times, and b) it sunk in just the right kind of mud and in water of just the right kind of brackishness, so it was excellently preserved.  Its sinking had gone down in lore with people searching for it from time to time, and then, in the 1960s, a private citizen decided to organize an effort to locate it (which he did) and then galvanized the interest of the citizenry and government to undertake the huge project of lifting it out of the sea. So, the whole museum is about the ship being brought back up out of the muck and its restoration and then all about it: its history, its crew, its back-story, what life was like in Sweden in the late 1600s, etc.  It was really interesting, but the kids were not as engaged as would’ve been ideal for parental enjoyment ;) Walking home from the Vasa, we took a meandering route, and that took us to a high-end shopping era and to the central market, something we always love to check out in new cities. From there, we went back to the hotel for naptime, which is when I went out and did a spot of shopping.  Afterwards, I took the kids to the Abba Museum and Eric went for a run.  The Abba Museum was so, so, so amazing!!!! I can’t even do it justice with a brief explanation here, so I am going to spare you all my attempt.  I love Abba, and even if you’re not a huge fan, I think it’s really engaging and fun.  Cece was luke-warm about it, calling it “too boring” from time to time, but Rowan and I were into it ;)

After our museum time, we all went out and managed find a restaurant to eat in before I lost my mind from exhaustion, hunger, overall crankiness, and an aching body, haha.  We actually ate at an Italian restaurant (I think we’ve done pretty good work at eating Scandinavian delicacies, well some, so having a comfort/familiar meal was fine, especially for the kids).  My mood really improved after dinner and we actually walked some more. We didn’t tarry too long this time, and got home and the kids went right to bed (after their first actual bath in quite some time; they’ve had irregular showers on other days) and then I managed to get to bed by 11-ish and the next morning when my alarm went off at 8:45, I was like, whoa, wait, where am I?  I hadn’t stirred or anything that whole time; I slept like log.

Tuesday morning we had breakfast at the Nordic Light and I put Cece in some new black-and-white Marimekko pants I’d gotten on sale for her at the outlet.  Let me tell you, a four-year-old in black-and-white pants and mixed berry compote do not get along well together.  Within ten minutes of her getting dressed—and seriously, don’t judge me, because I also *knew* this was likely but was looking on the bright side that, for once, it might not—she had red splotched all down the leg of one pant.  I quickly swooped the child and her pants upstairs and did some quick internet research and let me tell you, if you need to get berry stains out, flush them out with boiling water.  It totally worked! I was amazed!  Anyway, we went back down and finished breakfast and then were on our way to our next adventure: to the Swedish Center for Architecture and Design!  It goes by ArkDes for short and it shared a building with the modern art museum.  What a great few hours we had there. Rowan says he wants to be an architect and general contractor when he grows up and Cece wants to be a cat doctor (veterinarian) and a variety of other things when she grows up.  Both kids were really pretty interested in ArkDes!  Rowan loved looking at all of the models and seeing all of the different architectural styles.  We went over to the modern art side and it was really incredible.  So many really interesting paintings, multi-media works, audio installations, and so much more.  We actually had very little time there, but Rowan was interested the whole time (and Cece was not quite as interested and I think she was really getting tired).  Rowan loved this mixed-media large format painting/sculpture by Yves Klein, and we took a picture of him in front of it. There were some Jackson Pollock painting and Picassos and other folks I recognized, even though I am not the most hip to all the important artists, though I can kind of hang ;) We scooched on back to our hotel to collect our bags (passing by the “pink carpet” that was going to be used that night at the Grand Hotel for the Polar Music Prize, Sweden’s biggest award, funded by the royal family).  Bags in hand, we walked around the corner to the Central Station for our 2:32 p.m train to Gothenburg on SJ.  We’d bought our tickets online that day and we had plenty of time.  So, the train station is so crazy convenient.  I think of big-city train stations like London’s Euston or Victoria – you know, insane, busy, lots of tracks and platforms, etc. So, this was also a pretty big situation, but imagine that if you walked into an airport from the curb and approached the ticket counter and the *track* was where the luggage conveyer belt is behind the ticket agent.  It was like so convenient and unexpectedly nearby! There were taxis that were pulled up literally *at* the platform!  Eric and I were both totally thrown off by it, but it seemed great and very convenient. We had a very smooth and pleasant three-hour ride to Gothenburg.  Cece slept for an hour and I managed to get a grant application submitted, which was due in three days, so it was a big relief to get that off my plate. More about our Volvo adventure in Gothenburg in the next post!

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

The Misadventures of Prince Kim - chapter 39

me: I should update some of the fics I haven’t updated for ages, not this one

also me: SCREW YOU, VIVE LÊ CHIẾN

Also on AO3, as usual

Kim couldn’t help but be frustrated that he wasn’t good at lacrosse from the beginning. Of course he knew that all sports took practice and effort to get good at, but still! He was supposed to be sporty! That was what he was known for! But when he dropped the ball for about the twentieth time, hearing the servants on the sidelines of the pitch giggling at his incompetence, it was the worst feeling in the world.

“This game sucks!” He threw his lacrosse stick on the ground and crossed his arms.

“More like our team sucks,” Alya added, which didn’t make him feel much better.

“It’s okay guys, we can do it!” Nino called from the other end of the pitch. “Look at the crowd that’s here supporting us!”

Said “crowd” was a group of very unimpressed servants who had gathered to watch, finding this ridiculousness much more entertaining than their daily chores. Nino waved at them and they waved back, giggling some more.

“We’re gonna lose,” Kim muttered, kicking the lacrosse stick further away from him. Then he heard a voice that made him freeze up.

“That’s right, you certainly are!”

He turned to see that Adam was walking onto the pitch with a lacrosse stick in hand, a team of other equipment-wielding servants following him, brandishing their sticks like weapons.

Oh great… there was no way he could let Adam see their practice session. He would know they sucked.

“Why did you pick lacrosse in the first place?” Kim asked him.

“Oh, it’s simple,” Adam drawled. “I’m good at lacrosse. You’re not. And I want to win. How amazing would it feel to have beaten the infamous Prince Kim at one of his own challenges?”

Kim clenched his fists, very much wanting to grab the lacrosse stick out of Adam’s hand and hit him with it. “Well you’re not going to win, so there. My lacrosse team is amazing.”

“Ah yes. One over-competitive prince, a nerd for a goalie, some princess with fluffy hair that’s going to get in the way, a prince who’s too overenthusiastic for his own good, and a pharaoh who’s violent enough to turn the match into a brawl. Oh yes, and that snake. Wonderful choice of teammates, Emperor Palpatine.”

How could this servant be so open in dismissing royalty? Most servants didn’t even dare, usually just cowering away behind graces and manners. And even the ones who did speak their mind were at least respectful about it. Adam was something else entirely. Kim was surprised to find himself fighting off a smile.

He picked his lacrosse stick up off the floor and dusted it off. “Don’t underestimate my teammates. They’re amazing.”

“At ruling countries, maybe. Or maybe not. The pharaoh’s brother is running around in a rage because his little sister – quite literally little, judging by her height – is going to be late for today’s peace conference, which she seems to have forgotten about. So perhaps not as good at ruling countries as they seem.”

“That was TODAY?!” he heard Alix call from the other side of the pitch. “No no no no no I can’t be late! I’ll be in so much trouble – oh come on Max, let’s get going – sorry Kim, we’ll be back later–”

“What? I’m not going!” Max’s voice sounded muffled through his protective goalie gear.

“Why not? Aren’t you the crown prince of this kingdom?”

“Well yes, but I’m not a reigning monarch yet. I don’t have to be there and for now I would prefer not to be. Lacrosse sounds more fun, no offence.”

“What?! You like this kind of monarchy stuff though! I’m not going on my own, it’s gonna be so boring!”

“I can’t go,” Alya said, shrugging. “My country isn’t in the International Alliance.”

“I can’t either, not a reigning monarch,” Nino said. “Sorry dude.”

Alix turned to Kim. “Yo. I know you’re not a reigning monarch, you’re not even in the International Alliance, whatever. But you’re technically a refugee, right? You need all the support and alliances you can get. So if you come to this peace conference and tell everyone what’s happening, they might be more inclined to help your kingdom if war does break out…”

She hadn’t even needed to persuade him, really. He just wanted to get away from Adam for at least a little while. Even death would be preferable to letting that guy see his atrocious lacrosse skills. And plus, beneath it all, he really was worried about his kingdom. War with Agreste was seeming more and more inevitable, and as the future monarch, he felt like he ought to start pulling his weight and actually doing something about it. Not just challenging people to silly sports matches or moping over some guy he had a crush on.

“Sure, I’ll go with you,” he said.

“Yay! Thanks! Now come on, let’s hurry before we’re late and I get told off by the king of Ceylon or something…”

As they ran off Kim could hear Adam calling after him, “Very wise of you, Emperor Palpatine of Narnia! Run while you can!”

Ugh. That guy, honestly.

They made it to the base of the Peace Tower with just enough time to spare, luckily. Unluckily, the peace conference was being held in the hall right at the top of it, with a large spiral staircase being the most efficient way of getting up there.

“Stairs are fine when there’s not this many,” Alix sighed, looking up at them.

“Why don’t we take the lift?” Kim asked, pointing at the lift doors in the central column.

“That rickety old thing? It’s awful. The last time I was in there it stopped working halfway through, and me and Max were stuck in there for two hours. I ended up breaking my wrist because I was doing handstands out of boredom.”

“But I’ve never been in a lift before, we don’t have those in my kingdom! Please?”

She rolled her eyes. “Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Being stuck in a lift with nothing to do is even worse than being stuck in a peace conference.”

They entered the lift. Kim had only read about these, or seen them from a distance, never having actually been inside one before. It was like being in a little metal box. There was a mirror on one of the walls too, and he couldn’t help taking a quick look at his reflection. Yep – he looked perfect, as always.

Alix pressed one of the little buttons on the side panel and the doors closed. The lift suddenly felt a lot smaller – he could now see why being stuck inside one of these probably wasn’t much fun. There was a jolt and a creaking noise, and then the unnerving feeling of going upwards, without anything visible suggesting movement.

“This is so weird but cool,” Kim said. “Sorta like that feeling when aeroplanes take off, except like… less cool.”

Within a few more seconds the lift stopped and the doors opened. It seemed that this time it didn’t get stuck halfway after all, thank goodness. And they had made it to the peace conference in time.

“Greetings, Your Majesty,” said the servant standing at the ornate doors to the hall, bowing as they exited the lift. “And… friend?”

“This is Prince Kim, a guest to this country,” Alix explained. “He’s unable to go home because of the trouble the Agreste Empire is causing, so I said he could come along to this meeting to bring his own experiences to the discussion.”

“Excellent idea, Your Majesty. Please enter.”

The servant opened the doors to reveal a large square table inside that many famous figures of royalty were seated around. There were also plates of food to eat from various different countries, and many of the members of royalty had large files of paper in front of them, clearly very prepared for this meeting. Kim couldn’t help noticing that most of them were adults and looked like they actually knew what they were doing. He was starting to have second thoughts about coming here. This was way out of his depth.

They sat down at two of the free seats and scrawled their names and country onto the name cards that had been provided for them. Looking around, Kim could see monarchs from countries he had never even heard of before. And he thought he had been improving at his geography studies! Clearly he wasn’t doing well enough.

He’d have to get Max to help him with that…

Platonically, of course. Tutoring was something else entirely. Max had tutored Kim plenty before, and it worked well. And it would continue to work well. Kim would make sure of it. Of course, yes, Max was really cute, and listening to him drone on about nerdy things was just so dreamy, but it wasn’t like Kim was going to let that get in the way of him studying or anything…

Ugh, this wasn’t the time to be daydreaming about Max. That could wait for later. For now, the peace conference was starting. The head of the International Alliance had stood up and was beginning her welcome speech. Right. Time to pay attention.

Over in Bourgeois, Imperial Princess Chloé was sitting in on a meeting herself. Rather than paying attention, she had mostly been doodling on the piece of paper in front of her. All her father ever talked about was money! Money, money, money. But he was so bad at keeping it. Very good at spending it, and even better at squeezing every last drop of it out of the working people. That was for sure.

Oh, this empire was such a mess. And yet her father had already started construction on a new wing for the school! How was he funding that? By raising taxes again? The people were not going to like that. They were discontent, and Chloé knew it. She had seen them glaring at her through the windows when she passed their fields in her gold-plated carriage. She had seen the maids whispering to each other in darkened palace corners, stopping when she came near.

She knew of the consequences of unhappy citizens, too. Sabrina’s kingdom was in a worse state than this empire, and the effects were beginning to show. The army had already been sent to put down local rebellions here and there, farmers with pitchforks setting fires and causing mayhem. Nothing too serious, but still. The common people were unhappy, and raising taxes and continuing an unnecessarily lavish lifestyle would only cause that to escalate.

Chloé had never even cared about these things before. She used to only focus on herself, pride herself on how proper and beautiful she was. But ever since going to that school and starting to see things from a different perspective… well, being back home was stifling. No one here understood. And what was with all these formalities? So unnecessary. Such a waste of time. People outside were starving, and all anyone in here cared about was whether or not you curtseyed properly, or if your wig was tall enough.

No wonder the commoners were growing so discontent…

“…and so the money for the renovations will be provided by the Agreste Empire, so long as you help us with a little important matter of ours.”

“Is the important matter the young Imperial Prince Adrien?”

“We still need to know his whereabouts, and your assistance would be greatly appreciated.”

“We can direct our forces to search for him, if you would like. There’s also the option of posters with a reward, and stricter border controls, and of course keeping a closer eye on the school in case he does return.”

“Yes, that would be ideal. As long as you put your best efforts into the search for the prince, we will fully cover the costs of the new wing at the school.”

“So it’s a deal then! I believe this is another step towards a formal alliance between our empires.”

“If you manage to find Adrien and return him to us, then an alliance is guaranteed.”

“We will find him, I promise you.”

Chloé froze, not moving a muscle. Had she really just heard what she thought she had heard?

Slowly lifting her head, she watched as her father shook hands with the diplomat from Agreste. Now they were both signing a piece of paper. Now exchanging money.

No. This couldn’t be happening. Her father couldn’t be starting a manhunt for Adrien. No way. She had thought that now the guards from Agreste were gone from the school, Adrien would be safe there!

But now, if he came back, even if he tried to enter the empire, that would be it. The Bourgeois guards would hand him over to Agreste, and his freedom would be over. After everything he had gone through, after everything everyone had done for him…!

“Excuse me,” she said loudly, standing up and trying to ignore how stiff her dress was. “I would like to leave.”

“Sit down,” her father said, looking embarrassed. “We are in the middle of a meeting. You are not permitted to leave until it is over.”

“I need to leave, now,” she snapped. “I would like to use the latrine. It’s… that time of month.”

Her father’s eyes widened, and he quickly cleared his throat and said, “Very well then, you may go.”

“Thank you.”

She whipped round and strode towards the door, her outfit feeling so constraining and excessive compared to things she had been wearing at school recently.

She didn’t really need to use the toilet, and certainly wasn’t on her period right now. That had just been an excuse. Instead she made her way towards her room, where she opened her drawer and took out a pen, piece of paper, and some ink. Oh, how useful it would be to have one of those plastic pens from the techy countries right now, the ones that didn’t require a messy inkpot…

About to dip her pen into the ink, she stopped. No… writing a letter would be too risky. Letters could be intercepted. Heck, they probably would be intercepted, if this manhunt for Adrien really was going ahead. She couldn’t put him in danger by being careless when she was only trying to help. She had to find another way to warn him. But how?

Oh, of course – the telephone!

Every kingdom had at least one telephone, that was a widely quoted fact. Chloé just hoped that it was true. Her own empire had one, she knew that, it was in her father’s office. But did Cheng have one? Hopefully it did. That was the only way she could think of to safely get the message to Adrien.

Or at least… it would be safe for Adrien, but not for her. She wasn’t allowed in her father’s office. If she was caught in there, she would be in so much trouble.

But she had to try, didn’t she? A bit of trouble for her was nothing compared with what would befall poor Adrien if he tried to come back to school. And anyway, this really couldn’t wait. Her father was in a meeting right now, this was the perfect time for it. Cheng was far away and she didn’t even know when Adrien and Marinette would be leaving to return to school. There was no time to waste.

Putting her writing equipment away, she dashed down the corridor and towards her father’s room. There were guards outside, of course. How was she supposed to get past them? She had always heard Alix boasting about her escapades getting past guards, or persuading them not to stop her, or whatever else. But what could Chloé do? This empire was a very different place, and things simply didn’t work the same way.

What if she seduced them? Pfff, no, that would never work. What about distracting them? But how to do that?

Or what about a Lila tactic… just bluffing her way in…

“Good day to you,” she said as she walked towards them, nodding at them politely.

“Good day, Your Imperial Highness,” they replied in unison, bowing at her.

She walked right up to the door and simply opened it, smiling sweetly at the guards as she did so. They didn’t even make a move whatsoever. She entered the room and closed the door behind her. The guards still hadn’t done anything. Maybe they just expected her to be allowed inside, or assumed she must have had a valid reason for doing so.

Wow… they needed to be fired.

Right, anyway, she was in here now and needed to get on with the job before anyone found her. Hopefully her father’s meeting would still run for a bit longer. Now, where was that telephone? Ah yes, there on the corner of the desk. But wait… what was Cheng’s phone number?

Chloé quickly rifled through the drawers, having a look, feeling like such a spy. A part of her was almost excited about breaking the rules so badly like this. She couldn’t wait to tell Lila!

Papers, files, medals, stationery…

A phonebook!

Or at least, it said “phonebook” on the front of it, and it was a little book, so it was probably what she was looking for. Chloé carefully pulled it out of the drawer and put it onto the desk. Flipping through it, she saw phone numbers for various countries, ones that she had never been to and only seen on maps, ones that she knew didn’t even have monarchies, ones that she was forbidden from talking about. Vespuchia, Australis, Aotearoa… what must it be like to live in a country where there was no monarch in charge?

Oh, there it was – Cheng. Chloé picked up the phone receiver, dialled the number in, then pressed the call button and waited.

Please let this work, oh please, Adrien deserves better than being locked up by his own family–

“Greetings, Your Imperial Majesty, you have reached the kingdom of Cheng. What can we do for you today?”

Thank goodness! Chloé gripped the receiver tightly and said, “This is Imperial Princess Chloé of Bourgeois, and I would like to speak to Princess Marinette and the guest that she brought from school.”

“I’m sorry, Your Imperial Highness, they are asleep right now. It is late night here.”

No! How could she have forgotten that Cheng was in a different time zone, far to the east? Of course they’d be asleep now! But this really couldn’t wait.

“Is it possible to wake them up? Tell them it is extremely urgent. They’ll understand. If it causes any trouble, I will take the responsibility for that.”

“Very well. Please hold while we see what we can do.”

Phew, hopefully they wouldn’t be too grumpy at being woken up for a phone call. Well, Adrien probably wouldn’t. But as for Marinette? Chloé got the feeling Marinette still didn’t like her very much. That was fair enough – a lot of people did not like Chloé. The important thing was that she was trying to change that.

“Chloé, ‘s that you? It’s so late…”

Marinette’s voice! She’d never felt so happy to hear it.

“Yes, Marinette, it’s me! Is Adrien there with you?”

“Yep, I’m here,” came the sound of Adrien’s voice. “I’m called Felix, by the way.”

Right. Felix. A codename. She should probably use that, just to be on the safe side.

“I have very important, disturbing news,” she said. “My father is building a new wing of the school but didn’t have the funds for it, so he’s made a deal with Agreste. They provide the money, and in return, he’s starting a manhunt to find you. They know you’ll probably come back to school, so they’re upping the guards, upping the border patrols, the police, the military – everything! You can’t come back!”

There was a pause for a few seconds before Adrien spoke.

“You mean… I have to stay here?”

“Yes, for your safety. I don’t have any proof or anything, I’m sorry, it’s too dangerous – I’m not even supposed to be in here, on the phone, telling you this, anything like that. But I don’t want you to be found! And trust me, I know my father. He’ll put all his efforts into this. He’s always trying to get on Agreste’s good side, and they said that if he manages to hunt you down, they’ll officially ally with Bourgeois. That’s a dream come true for my father, and a nightmare for you.”

Adrien sighed. “Well… I guess if it’s for the best, then…”

“It’s okay,” Marinette said, “I’ll stay here with you.”

“Is that really a good idea?” Chloé asked, knowing Marinette would hate her for it. “That will be so suspicious. They’ll know you’re hiding him then. And like I said, my father would do anything to get an official alliance with Agreste. The Bourgeois Empire is currently running on fumes alone and on the verge of economic collapse, especially with colonies seceding from us everywhere, and he needs the support. He would absolutely send his lackeys to Cheng to drag you away. And then the only choice for you would be to escape into exile.”

“But I can’t just leave Adrien all alone!”

“He’ll have your family, won’t he? And he’ll be safe! That’s the most important thing!”

“But how long will he have to stay hidden in Cheng?”

“I have no idea, I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, honestly I am. But this is all I can do to help. I’m sorry I can’t offer much more than a warning or advice.”

When Adrien spoke again, it sounded like his voice was cracking. “Thank you, Chlo. Thank you so much for warning me.”

She just wanted to hug him through the phone, she really did. Her best friend. Her first friend. “You mean so much to me, I will always do my utmost to protect you! I promise.”

“You’re the best. I’ll stay here, then, until it’s safer for me.”

“I suppose I’ll have to go back to school without you then,” Marinette said, sounding like she was on the verge of tears too. “As long as you’re safe, that’s what matters.”

“I’ll stay safe. I’ve managed it this far, right?”

“Yes… you have…”

“Anyway, I really ought to go,” Chloé said. “I’m not supposed to be here and I don’t know how much time I have. Take care, both of you.”

“You too, Chloé!”

“Goodbye.”

She hung up and put the receiver back down, wiping it with her sleeve to get rid of the greasy powder smudges from her makeup. (Ugh, why did she have to cover her whole body in the stuff here? At school she only ever bothered making up her face!) Then she hastily put the phonebook back in the drawer.

Okay, she had managed that phone call without being caught. Now whatever happened, even if she did get into trouble, at least Adrien would be safe. She had done her duty.

Heading for the door, she was just about to go through when someone opened it from the other side. There was no time for her to hide. She just stood there in complete dread as she watched her father walk into the room.

He looked down at her for a few seconds, his expression slowly changing to one she wished she didn’t have to see. When she had been a little girl, her father never got angry at her. He’d give her all the gifts she ever wanted, always making sure she was happy, spoiling her rotten. But these past few years he really had been starting to take his parenting job more seriously. And especially since she had been at school.

For a few awful moments he simply glared at her coldly. Then he said, rather slowly, “What do you think you’re doing in my office?”

Her throat felt dry. She hadn’t really thought of an excuse. Why couldn’t she be as good at Lila was at coming up with lies on the spot?

Wait… Lila!

“I was using the telephone,” Chloé said, standing up tall and trying not to let her voice tremble.

“And why would you be doing that?”

“I was phoning up Lila. My… friend.”

Best to leave it at that for now, no need to get into more trouble than was necessary.

“Why were you phoning up Marchesa Lila, may I ask?”

“Because she is my close friend and I miss her, so I wanted to speak to her. Since telephones exist, I decided to make use of this convenient piece of modern technology.”

Emperor André sighed, looking more disappointed than anything else. “Lila is not proper royalty, so really, you have no reason to be associating with her enough to call her a close friend, and you especially should not need to be telephoning her.”

A surge of anger ran through her. “Does it matter if she’s not ‘proper’ royalty? She’s a human being, just like any other, and so deserving of basic respect!”

“But her blood status–”

“O+, maybe, AB, who knows, it doesn’t matter! It’s just blood! It doesn’t mean a thing, father, and you would do well to learn that.”

“Now young lady,” he said, more sternly all of a sudden, “don’t talk to me in that tone of voice. You are not to call Lila again, do you hear me?”

“Fine!”

“And stop with all this nonsense. I don’t know where you’ve got all these ideas into your head, but you can get rid of them. Lila is a marquise, whether in your class at school or not, and you will treat her as such. Is that clear?”

As much as it hurt her to say it, Chloé nodded and said, “Yes father.”

“Good. And the next time I find you trespassing in my office, you’ll get a much harsher punishment than just a telling-off. I’m only letting you go now because I would rather you not make a scene. Alright? You’d better run along now and get back to whatever duties you ought to be doing.”

Chloé stormed past him without another word. She didn’t want to get into trouble but she knew if she stayed, she would end up arguing, and that would not turn out well. Why were the upper class of her empire so backwards all the time? And how could she ever have been one of them?

Three hours into the peace conference, Kim had long given up paying attention. He really had no clue what was going on. Instead he was fiddling about with the piece of paper in front of him, folding it into a boat, now a plane, now a frog, now Max… His thoughts always went back to Max in the end, didn’t they?

Oh, he had tried to concentrate. Something about some humanitarian crisis in Haprèle which they needed funds to send aid to (and why did that name sound so familiar to him?), a new rail line construction from Persia to Baluchistan being prevented by activities from the Agreste Empire, Iberia wanting to join the International Alliance now that it had successfully seceded from the Bourgeois Empire…

“…and now we feel it would be a good opportunity to hear from Prince Kim, who is here not just as a guest, but as someone who has been prevented from returning home due to the Agreste Empire’s violence. Lê Chiến may not be officially part of the International Alliance, but we are always ready to hear you speak. So if you would say a few words…?”

Queen Sol of Nubia was gesturing at him. Oh right, did he have to speak now? Maybe he should have been using this time to prepare something rather than just… ugh… daydreaming about Max again… He really was too sappy for his own good.

Everyone was looking at him expectantly. He stood up, acutely realizing he was still wearing rather sporty clothes as opposed to something formal, and cleared his throat.

“Good afternoon everyone,” he began. “I am Prince Kim from the kingdom of Lê Chiến. Unfortunately I cannot return home, as the Agreste Empire has been trying to take more land from my kingdom and their troops have been making the borders unsafe, even for trade. There were plans for a peace offering, but Agreste’s idea of a peace gift was to give us back land that they had totally stripped, leaving it worthless and barren. There are also suspicions that my grandfather’s recent death may not have been an accident, though we don’t know who was behind it.”

Okay, that speech hadn’t been too bad. He hadn’t really ended it so much as just stopped talking, so everyone stared at him in a few seconds of confused silence before Sol stood up again to speak.

“Thank you for your words, Your Highness. Your input is very valuable, and I am sorry that you are unable to return to your home. That must be very difficult for you.”

He nodded, not really sure whether or not to say something.

“Just know that the Agreste Empire is not allied with us in any way at all, and we thoroughly despise of many of their violent actions, so you will always be welcome in any of our countries here. I also offer my consolations for your grandfather’s death, that cannot have been easy for you. As you will be ascending the throne soon yourself at this young age, if you ever would like any assistance, please don’t hesitate to ask the International Alliance. Perhaps you will be part of it too one day.”

Kim was surprised to find himself tearing up a little. Why was Queen Sol so nice? So… motherly? He just wanted her to hug him and tell him everything would be okay. He would believe it if she was the one saying it.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, then sat down again. The other royals were all looking at him with expressions of soft concern, like they too wanted to help him in some way. It was just too much – they were so nice! Why? How?

Queen Sol continued talking, sounding like she was finishing off the conference now. There were going to be more in the next few weeks as everything could not be discussed in just one meeting. Wow, ruling a country did seem like a lot of work, didn’t it?

“Good job, Emperor Palpatine,” Alix whispered next to him.

“I’m throwing you off the top of this tower,” he whispered back, trying not to laugh. That nickname was never going to leave, was it?

The conference finished shortly afterwards and everyone was let out of the hall. The monarchs all seemed to be giving Kim encouraging smiles as they passed, like they felt sorry for him or something. Well, to be fair, practically all of these countries were very well-off and very tech-advanced. The same couldn’t be said for Lê Chiến.

“Let’s go down in the lift again,” he said to Alix, not admitting out loud that he would rather run down all these stairs as fast as he could but didn’t want to in front of all these royals. “It didn’t break on the way up here, right? It’s probably permanently fixed or something.”

“I wouldn’t use that lift if I were you,” the passing Queen of Hindustan muttered. “A servant told me it gets stuck a lot.”

“See Kim?” Alix said, as the queen passed them and went for the stairs instead. “It’s gonna get stuck.”

“No it won’t!” he said. “And the lift is way cooler than the stairs! Lifts are like, electric and stuff! You literally stand in a box and it takes you down on its own and you can’t even see it from the inside, how cool is that?”

She smiled. “You really love tech, don’t you?”

“Yeah, who doesn’t?”

“Oh, you’d be surprised. But fine, we’ll go in the lift. If it gets stuck then I’m blaming you.”

“That’s fine. It won’t get stuck.”

They went into the lift and pressed the button to send it downwards. The door closed, and off the lift went.

“See?” Kim said. “It’s moving just fine. Did you know, Max said that in Atlantica, lifts are called elevators? Isn’t that weird?”

At that exact moment, there was a crunching sound and the lift stopped moving. The doors did not open. Alix pressed the open button a few times, but it did nothing. She gave the doors a kick, too, and they still didn’t budge. She turned to Kim, looking more unimpressed than he had ever seen her.

“You imbecile, you – you – Kimbecile! Didn’t I tell you it was gonna get stuck?!”

Kim scratched the back of his head nervously. “Um… yeah… whoops…”

“We should have taken the stairs. Now I’m gonna ending up breaking another wrist and it’ll be your fault.” She sat down on the floor. The snake looked at Kim and hissed angrily. Did that snake understand French or something? It always seemed to react to whatever Alix was saying.

“I’ve got my phone,” Kim said. “I can just call Max, and then…”

Unexpectedly, she started laughing.

“What?”

“Don’t count on it,” she said.

“Why not?” He pulled his phone out of his pocket and tried calling Max. For some reason the call wouldn’t go through. He tried sending a message, and that wouldn’t work either. “Why isn’t this working?”

“No signal in here, that’s why. Same thing happened with me and Max last time. We’ve just gotta wait it out until someone checks this stupid lift.”

“So like… we’re stuck in here for a few hours?”

“Yep.”

“But then what do we do?”

“I don’t know. Start brainstorming.”

He tried to think of ideas, but nothing was coming to mind. Play lacrosse? Pffff, not in a lift, where they didn’t even have lacrosse sticks. Read a book? Watch a movie? Not possible. Call Max? Super not possible! What had he done last time he was bored that didn’t require any equipment or anything? Well… there was always…

At the same time as Alix suggested, “We should have a fist fight!” Kim suggested, “We should make out!”

For a few seconds they just stared at each other in disbelief.

“Those are… both very bad ideas, actually,” Alix said finally.

“Then I guess we just sit here bored?”

“Well… a little fist fight maybe? Come on, remember that one time in that one Monopoly game where we both wanted the last dark blue card, and it got a bit… violent…”

“That wasn’t exactly fun though,” Kim said. “Okay, how about a compromise – we have a fist fight, then make out. And that way any hickeys will be mistaken for bruises. Oh wait – what did you call them at the winter party? Hockeys…”

She rolled her eyes. “I know they’re not called that, I just couldn’t remember the word.”

“Hey – if my nickname is Emperor Palpatine, yours should be Hockey! Yeah!”

“Don’t even think about it or I will start that fist fight right now.”

“You really wanna fight me, don’t you, Hockey?”

She grinned and hit him in the arm. “Well, Emperor Palpatine, I very much want to, but I also know that would be a bad idea, and I’ve been trying to get my recklessness under control lately, so you should probably do the same.”

“Yeah… I wish Max was here with us. N-not because I like him! I mean, because I don’t act so stupid when he’s around. And maybe then I would be able to think of something sensible to do.”

“True. Us two being stuck indefinitely in a lift without Max is probably the worst thing that could happen.”

“Hmm… another compromise. We can make it less stupid. You punch me, and then I get to kiss you.”

She just sighed. “Only one punch? Just one?”

“Look, why do you even want to fight me so bad? Aren’t I your best friend?”

“Well I could ask you the same – why are you so hell-bent on kissing me? You said you were long over me! You’re head over heels for Max!”

“Hey, I asked you first. You answer first.”

“Fine.” Alix put down her snake and let it wander around the lift on its own accord. “I hate being short. There, I said it! I’m short and I hate it. I’m small and scrawny and people don’t take me seriously. And it’s not that I want people to be scared of me, because I don’t! But no one looks at me and thinks I’m strong. That I’m sporty, or can win arm wrestles, or whatever. So I wanna fight, because it makes me think I can actually do stuff. All short people wanna fight. It’s a thing.”

“So… you want to fight because you’re short.”

“Yes.”

“Okay…”

“Now your turn.”

“Oh, well…”

He hadn’t really thought about it. He was just bored, and it was the first thing that came to mind that was fun. It had been fun at the winter party, anyway.

“I know you won’t agree,” he started off, feeling kind of awkward, “but like… kissing’s pretty fun, okay? Sometimes I just want to, it doesn’t matter who with, it just… I don’t know how to describe it. I’m not the only one, I know that! Marinette says it happens to her too. Maybe it’s a teenagery thing. Well, some teenagers. So yeah. I’m bored and maybe a bit horny and I wanna make out.”

She winced. “That stupid timeline twin is yelling at me a lot right now. I thought she had stopped talking to me after running off with Adrien, but apparently not. She’s telling me not to be reckless.”

“Oh… so does your timeline twin count as our ‘Max’ then? Our impulse control?”

“Heck no, I’m not listening to her! She’s annoying. Maybe right sometimes about some things, but mostly annoying. So I’m just gonna ignore her.”

“So uh, anyway... we still need to decide what to do…”

“Whatever happens, I get to punch you at least twice. And for the record, what happens in the lift stays in the lift. No telling anyone I beat you up. Or kissed you, if that happens, which I am still considering because honestly it’s kinda gross, no offence.”

“Of course I won’t tell anyone,” he said. “And I’m still considering the ‘getting beaten up’ part, because like… it’s kinda painful, so…”

“Yeah, fair enough.”

“How long have we been stuck in here anyway?”

Alix checked the watch on her sceptre. “Like four minutes.”

“Only?! And how long were you stuck in here with Max last time?”

“Two hours.”

Kim put his head in his hands. “Oh man, this is gonna be so long…”

[housmania]

“The Six Thatchers” Survival Pack

Yes, that was a pretty crazy episode. Luckily, the fandom is here with breakdowns of every confusing plot point and theories on the reasons behind them.

I’ve made this table and masterpost as a reference for comparing different theories on TST and whether they address different issues in the episode.

The main takeaway is that none of the basic theories explain every point of the episode; therefore, the truth probably combines elements of two or more theories. The most popular theories right now are all “combination theories”.

This pack has four parts:

Descriptions of the Basic Theories

Theory Table: Compares which basic theories explain which issues

Combined Theories: Popular theories that combine the basic theories to explain most or all of the episode.

Resources: Links to meta explaining specific issues and theories.

Enjoy!

-soe

UPDATED VERSION 

The Four Basic Readings:

The episode is 100% real. The surface reading of the episode; takes all events at face value.

The episode is 100% imaginary. Includes, but is not limited to: Mind Palace/EMP, drugged hallucinations, and dreams by Sherlock. No part of the episode actually happened; like TAB, it is simply Sherlock’s way of thinking about the status quo after the tarmac scene.

The episode is a retelling by Sherlock, an unreliable narrator. Includes embellishing the truth as he imagines it, lying to protect John, or putting real events into a case format as he retells it to Ella.

The episode deliberately leaves out scenes. The episode will be revisited later with flashbacks that explain the truth behind confusing elements. For example, Sherlock and John might have secretly planned to take down Mary all along.

Theory Table:

Green = Completely addresses this issue

Yellow = Addresses this issue somewhat plausibly, but not the best solution

Red = Does not address this issue

Gray = Might address this issue, but it has not been discussed

Support Table:

These elements don’t rule out any one reading, but they do support some more than others.

Details and Resources:

(Note: The hyperlinked phrases are descriptions, not the actual meta titles.)

Combination Theories:

These theories, which are much more likely to be true, combine elements of the first four to account for most or all discrepancies in the episode.

Sherlock is retelling the story to give John an alibi for shooting Mary. One of the most supported; specific meta in the “Issues” section.

Multiple POVs/Dual Timelines: We’re actually repeatedly seeing one character imagine what happened to another character . For example, Sherlock has been imagining what John was doing or imagining he was in scenes where he wasn’t. Explained here by @the-7-percent-solution. May even date back to TRF (warning: angst like whoa).

Everything is real, but Sherlock is high throughout the episode, twisting his perception. The possibility of him having been drugged by a villain was explained by @separating-my-porn-and-tjlc.

Sherlock is retelling the story while being interrogated by Culverton Smith. Sherlock is trying to hide that John killed Mary, but he’s also drugged, which is why the episode seems so weird. Explained by @kimbiablue with additions by @shawleyleres.

The Basic Theories:

Check out @multifandom-madnesss‘s theory breakdown.

For “real” readings:

Mary guilted John and martyred herself to keep John and Sherlock apart. Brief version by @lpircy; another by @inevitably-johnlocked; another by @writemeastoryofsolitude; another by @heimishtheidealhusband; parallels with TAB by @bbcatemysoul

Mary Knew John Was Going To Leave by @victorianlovers with additions by @gingerhermit

Mary Imitated Port-TRF Sherlock by @jenna221b

John Is In Character by @sherrinfordholmes (really good) and a brief version by @wearitcounts

John Is Complex by @ivyblossom (also really good)

Sherlock Is In Character by @sussexbound

For "imaginary” readings:

EMP (Extended Mind Palace Theory) has been around for a while; check out @monikakrasnorada’s EMP Masterpost for that background.

 Applications of EMP to TST by @multifandom-madness here and @loudest-subtext-in-tv here

Sherlock Has a Recurring Dream About John Cheating by @mr-brightside24

For “unreliable narrator” readings:

It Started in HLV by @the-7-percent-solution

Sherlock is Giving the “Official Version” by @cakepopsforeveryone

The Cases at the Beginning are John’s Rejected Alibis by @toxicsemicolon

For “flashback” readings:

John and Sherlock Don’t Trust Mary by @hubblegleeflower​

On Issues in the Episode:

Lists of issues by @shadowfax044‘s here, @incurablylazydevil here, @mokee here

Chronologically:

John’s Blog Isn’t Updating by @johnsjawline

John’s Blog is Inaccurate by @inevitably-johnlocked and by @deducingbbcsherlock“

The Six Thatchers Isn’t Mentioned by a bunch of people

The Random Magnussen Picture by me

The Birth Scene Doesn’t Match Setlock by @desperately-unspoken

It’s Not Cheating, It’s Code by a bunch of people

Discrepancies in the Two Cheating Scenes by @amidepsi

The Bus Lady Works for Mycroft by @havetardiswilltimetravel

John is Texting Different People by @welovethebeekeeper; an excellent summary by @kbellamy

The Texts That Sound Different Are From Sherlock by @vasilikiknst

Mary Faked Her Death by @shawleyleres, with many additions

Molly Helped Mary Fake Her Death by @shawleyleres

Mary Was Shot From Behind by @shinka with additions by @jamesmoriartv

John Shot Mary by @darlingtonsubstitution, with many additions

John Got Shot, Not Mary by @bluebluenova and @wssh-watson

John’s Reaction to Mary’s Death plus John’s OOC Treatment of Mary by a bunch of people

Ella’s Weird Room and Chairs by a bunch of people

Ella’s Room is the Brain Attic by me, @lostvioletowl, and @arts-and-mycrofts

The End Scene with Molly and John’s Anger at Sherlock by @inevitably-johnlocked

The End Scene is Part of John and Sherlock’s Plan by @shawleyleres

Mary Wasn’t Redeemed by @a-candle-for-sherlock

Hell is a Place by @leoburgerpaws

Why Everything is Blue by @consultingfangirl

Miscellaneous:

@johnlockkfulfillment’s meta masterpost

E’s Number Is a TJLC Callout by a bunch of people

Other Weird Parts are Callouts to TJLC by @sherlockdramaturgy

Mary is Sherrinford or a Triplet by @consultingeastwind

Mary is the Third Holmes by @marcespot​

I will be updating the table and theory list regularly.

If you have theories, issues, or meta to add, please comment.

If you think a theory does address an issue that the table says it does not address (or vice versa), please comment.

If I mentioned a theory but not your meta on it, please comment.

If I described your theory inaccurately or you just want to add something, please comment.

I’d like to make this as thorough as possible, and so it would be wonderful to be able to include more your amazing meta.

Tags under the cut.

@may-shepard @gloriascott93 @weneedtotalkaboutsherlock @inevitably-johnlocked @beejohnlocked @deducingbbcsherlock @shag-me-senseless-watson @ununpentium @warmth-and-constancy  @consultingeastwind @asherlockstudy@keagan-ashleigh @whtboutdeductions @artfulkindoforder @marcespot @kimbiablue @lostvioletowl @visionandperception @addignisherlock @welovethebeekeeper @astudyinsnoggy @the-blue-carbuncle @johnnlocked @shylockgnomes @atikiology

I’m sure you guys have written meta on TST that I haven’t seen or that I left out. If you’d like to add something, please comment it and I would love to include it in the next update.

EMP theorists: If you could point me to some specific meta on EMP specifically in TST, I’d be very grateful. @monikakrasnorada @tendergingergirl @isitandwonder @tjlcisthenewsexy @gosherlocked @ebaeschnbliah @yan-yae

Thank you!

-soe

[thebookrat]

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Feyre survived Amarantha's clutches to return to the Spring Court--but at a steep cost. Though she now has the powers of the High Fae, her heart remains human, and it can't forget the terrible deeds she performed to save Tamlin's people. Nor has Feyre forgotten her bargain with Rhysand, High Lord of the feared Night Court. As Feyre navigates its dark web of politics, passion, and dazzling power, a greater evil looms--and she might be key to stopping it. But only if she can harness her harrowing gifts, heal her fractured soul, and decide how she wishes to shape her future--and the future of a world cleaved in two. With more than a million copies sold of her beloved Throne of Glass series, Sarah J. Maas's masterful storytelling brings this second book in her seductive and action-packed series to new heights.

Sixteen-year-old Beckan and her friends are the only fairies brave enough to stay in Ferrum when war breaks out. Now there is tension between the immortal fairies, the subterranean gnomes, and the mysterious tightropers who arrived to liberate the fairies. But when Beckan's clan is forced to venture into the gnome underworld to survive, they find themselves tentatively forming unlikely friendships and making sacrifices they couldn't have imagined. As danger mounts, Beckan finds herself caught between her loyalty to her friends, her desire for peace, and a love she never expected. This stunning, lyrical fantasy is a powerful exploration of what makes a family, what justifies a war, and what it means to truly love.

An epic fantasy filled with adventure, intrigue, and romance from Incarnate series author Jodi Meadows. This duology is perfect for fans of Graceling by Kristin Cashore, The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson, and Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo. When Princess Wilhelmina was a child, the Indigo Kingdom invaded her homeland. Ten years later, Wil and the other noble children who escaped are ready to fight back and reclaim Wil’s throne. To do so, Wil and her best friend, Melanie, infiltrate the Indigo Kingdom palace with hopes of gathering information that will help them succeed. But Wil has a secret—one that could change everything. Although magic has been illegal for a century, she knows her ability could help her save her kingdom. But magic creates wraith, and the deadly stuff is moving closer and destroying the land. And if the vigilante Black Knife catches her using magic, she may disappear like all the others. . . .

In Ink and Bone, bestselling author Rachel Caine introduced a world where knowledge is power, and power corrupts absolutely. Now she continues the story of those who dare to defy the Great Library—and rewrite history... Jess Brightwell has survived his introduction to the sinister, seductive world of the Library, but serving in its army is nothing like he envisioned. His life and the lives of those he cares for have been altered forever. Embarking on a mission to save one of their own, Jess and his band of allies make one wrong move and suddenly find themselves hunted by the Library’s deadly automata and forced to flee Alexandria, all the way to London. But Jess’s home isn’t safe anymore. The Welsh army is coming, London is burning, and soon Jess must choose between his friends, his family, and the Library, which is willing to sacrifice anything and anyone in the search for ultimate control...

Get it. Get this whole damn series. Trust me.

Held captive in the barbarian kingdom of Venda, Lia and Rafe have little chance of escape . . . and even less of being together. Desperate to save her life, Lia's erstwhile assassin, Kaden, has told the Vendan Komisar that she has a magical gift, and the Komisar's interest in Lia is greater than either Kaden or Lia foresaw. Meanwhile, the foundations of Lia's deeply-held beliefs are crumbling beneath her. Nothing is straightforward: there's Rafe, who lied to her, but has sacrificed his freedom to protect her; Kaden, who meant to assassinate her but has now saved her life; and the Vendans, whom she always believed to be barbarians but whom she now realizes are people who have been terribly brutalized by the kingdoms of Dalbreck and Morrighan. Wrestling with her upbringing, her gift, and her very sense of self, Lia will have to make powerful choices that affect her country, her people . . . and her own destiny.

Lia has survived Venda—but so has a great evil bent on the destruction of Morrighan. And only Lia can stop it. With war on the horizon, Lia has no choice but to assume her role as First Daughter, as soldier—as leader. While she struggles to reach Morrighan and warn them, she finds herself at cross-purposes with Rafe and suspicious of Kaden, who has hunted her down. In this heart-stopping conclusion to the Remnant Chronicles trilogy that started with The Kiss of Deception and The Heart of Betrayal, traitors must be rooted out, sacrifices must be made, and impossible odds must be overcome as the future of every kingdom hangs in the balance. New York Times-bestselling author Mary E. Pearson's combination of intrigue, suspense, romance, and action makes this a riveting YA page-turner for teens.

This morning, Kady thought breaking up with Ezra was the hardest thing she’d have to do. This afternoon, her planet was invaded. The year is 2575, and two rival megacorporations are at war over a planet that’s little more than a speck at the edge of the universe. Now with enemy fire raining down on them, Kady and Ezra—who are barely even talking to each other—are forced to evacuate with a hostile warship in hot pursuit. But their problems are just getting started. A plague has broken out and is mutating with terrifying results; the fleet’s AI may actually be their enemy; and nobody in charge will say what’s really going on. As Kady hacks into a web of data to find the truth, it’s clear the only person who can help her is the ex-boyfriend she swore she’d never speak to again. Told through a fascinating dossier of hacked documents—including emails, maps, files, IMs, medical reports, interviews, and more—Illuminae is the first book in a heart-stopping trilogy about lives interrupted, the price of truth, and the courage of everyday heroes.

Evaline Stoker and Mina Holmes never meant to get into the family business. But when you're the sister of Bram and the niece of Sherlock, vampire hunting and mystery solving are in your blood. And when two society girls go missing, there's no one more qualified to investigate. Now fierce Evaline and logical Mina must resolve their rivalry, navigate the advances of not just one but three mysterious gentlemen, and solve murder with only one clue: a strange Egyptian scarab. The stakes are high. If Stoker and Holmes don't unravel why the belles of London society are in such danger, they'll become the next victims.

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WINNER of the NATIONAL READERS CHOICE AWARD for best YA of 2015 Alexis Wyndham is the other type of Queen B—the Queen B*tch. After years of being the subject of ridicule, she revels in her ability to make the in-crowd cower via the exposés on her blog, The Eastline Spy. Now that she's carved out her place in the high school hierarchy, she uses her position to help the unpopular kids walking the hallways. Saving a freshman from bullies? Check. Swapping insults with the head cheerleader? Check. Falling for the star quarterback? So not a part of her plan. But when Brett offers to help her solve the mystery of who’s posting X-rated videos from the girls’ locker room, she’ll have to swallow her pride and learn to see past the high school stereotypes she’s never questioned—until now.

Rachel can't believe she has to give up her Saturdays to scrubbing other people's toilets. So. Gross. But she kinda, sorta stole $287.22 from her college fund that she's got to pay back ASAP or her mom will ground her for life. Which is even worse than working for her mother's new cleaning business. Maybe. After all, becoming a maid is definitely not going to help her already loserish reputation. But Rachel picks up more than smelly socks on the job. As maid to some of the most popular kids in school, Rachel suddenly has all the dirt on the 8th grade in-crowd. Her formerly boring diary is now filled with juicy secrets. And when her crush offers to pay her to spy on his girlfriend, Rachel has to decide if she's willing to get her hands dirty...

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In A THRONE FOR SISTERS (Book one), Sophia, 17, and her younger sister Kate, 15, are desperate to leave their horrific orphanage. Orphans, unwanted and unloved, they nonetheless dream of coming of age elsewhere, of finding a better life, even if that means living on the streets of the brutal city of Ashton. Sophia and Kate, also best friends, have each other’s backs—and yet they want different things from life. Sophia, a romantic, more elegant, dreams of entering court and finding a noble to fall in love with. Kate, a fighter, dreams of mastering the sword, of battling dragons, and becoming a warrior. They are both united, though, by their secret, paranormal power to read other’s minds, their only saving grace in a world that seems bent to destroy them. As they each embark on a quest and adventure their own ways, they struggle to survive. Faced with choices neither can imagine, their choices may propel them to the highest power—or plunge them to the lowest depths. A THRONE FOR SISTERS is the first book in a dazzling new fantasy series rife with love, heartbreak, tragedy, action, magic, sorcery, fate and heart-pounding suspense. A page turner, it is filled with characters that will make you fall in love, and a world you will never forget.

Also gloriously FREE!

Zachary Degaud was twenty three when he died. The problem was, he didn't stay that way. Present day, he's just another vampire with another unremarkable story. That is, until he manages to provoke a two thousand year old witch named Katrin, who wants to make him pay in the most horrible way imagined. Along with his brother Sam, newly made vampire Liz and their only witch ally, Gabby, his only chance for survival is to summon the ancient and unpredictable vampire known as the Witch Hunter. Zac is just looking for a way out of his psychopathic witch problems, but instead will find himself falling head first into a blood feud that has stretched thousands of years. Aya has been asleep for the past 150 years, until she was awoken by a haunting call. The witch she has been hunting for thousands of years, Katrin, has resurfaced and marked a young, annoyingly arrogant vampire by the name of Zachary Degaud. Unless she does something, he will die a slow and painful death. He has given her an opportunity to end the witch, but does she want to help him or leave him to his fate? Zac will get under her skin like no one else has and she just might find herself making the ultimate sacrifice before he is gone forever. They will both have to choose sides and look deep within themselves before the end. But, what Zac learns about himself, will surprise him most of all.

This synopsis needs to be cut down, my god, but again: IT. FREE.

I was born to die... But to defy fate is to control your own destiny. Little did I know that I was entering a world of ritual and magic and that my blood needed to be spilled so the witches’ legacy could be complete. Vampires. Witches. Werewolves. Supernatural Creatures. Dramatic Revelations. A Ritual Sacrifice. Ancient Artifacts. A Cold-hearted Serial Killer. Spilled Blood. Secrets. A Hidden Heritage. A Love So Deep. Supernatural Bloodlust. A Dangerous Curse. An Uneasy Alliance With A Dangerous Vampire. Legends of vampires and shape-shifters have been around for centuries, so Taylor Sparks isn’t too worried when the rumors start to fly. When Taylor learns secrets that are beyond terrifying, they threaten to destroy her entire world. She is born to die... But to defy fate is to control your own destiny. She warns her crush to leave. But how do you forget someone who is aligned with your soul? They fight against the witches, the vampires, and the werewolves. They know the consequences. They know the risk. But they don't care. Nothing will get in the way of these two star-crossed lovers. Taylor finds out she’s a KEY player in a dangerous game created 1,000 years ago that will give the witches and werewolves the upper hand against the vampires. Blood will be spilled and secrets will be revealed in this action-packed thrill ride and paranormal romance. Will Taylor dive into a paranormal world she knows nothing about to be with the one her heart can’t live without? Or will her life spiral out of control when she learns her blood is needed, just the serum necessary to lift an ancient curse from a group of supernatural beings and give the witches back their magic? Werewolves will serve as her guardians and protect her until the first full moon of the new year, the night of her sacrifice… Will she accept her destiny? Or will she refuse to let evil swallow her up?

For fans of Hex Hall, The Magicians, Practical Magic, and Food Wars! Anise Wise loves three things: baking, potion making, and reading her spellbooks in blissful silence. She might not be the most powerful witch, but enchantment is a rare skill, and her ability to bake with magic is even rarer. Too bad no one wants witchcraft on their campus. Anise’s dream of attending pastry school crumbles with rejection letter after rejection letter. Desperate to escape her dead-end future, Anise contacts the long-lost relative she’s not supposed to know about. Great Aunt Agatha owns the only magic bakery in the US, and she suddenly needs a new apprentice. Anise is so excited she books it to New Mexico without thinking to ask what happened to the last girl. The Spellwork Syndicate rules the local witches in Taos, but as “accidents” turn into full-out attacks on Anise’s life, their promises to keep her safe are less and less reassuring. Her cranky bodyguard is doing his best, but it’s hard to fight back when she has no idea who’s the enemy. Or why she became their target. If Anise can’t find and stop whoever wants her dead, she’ll be more toasted than a crème brûlée. Who knew baking cakes could be so life or death?

This one's kicking around on my shelves! I did a First Impressions of it awhile back and really liked it, and have been meaning to go back ever since.

Thoughtfully imaginative and action-packed, Steeplejack is New York Times bestselling A. J. Hartley's YA debut set in a 19th-century South African fantasy world “A richly realized world, an intensely likable character, and a mystery to die for." — Cory Doctorow, New York Times-bestselling author Seventeen-year-old Anglet Sutonga lives and works as a steeplejack in Bar-Selehm, a sprawling city known for its great towers, spires, and smokestacks – and even greater social disparities across race and class. Ang’s world is turned upside-down when her new apprentice Berrit is murdered the same night that the city’s landmark jewel is stolen. Her search for answers behind his death exposes unrest in the streets and powerful enemies. But she also finds help from unexpected friends: a kindhearted savannah herder, a politician’s haughty sister, and a savvy newspaper girl. As troubles mount in Bar-Selehm, Ang must discover the truth behind both murder and theft soon – or else watch the city descend into chaos. YALSA Best Fiction for Young Adults Selection Kirkus Reviews Best Teen Book Booklist Top Ten YA in Science Fiction, Fantasy and Horror At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.

Also kicking around on my shelves somewhere!

Just about everyone knows a family like the Radleys. Many of us grew up next door to one. They are a modern family, averagely content, averagely dysfunctional, living in a staid and quiet suburban English town. Peter is an overworked doctor whose wife, Helen, has become increasingly remote and uncommunicative. Rowan, their teenage son, is being bullied at school, and their anemic daughter, Clara, has recently become a vegan. They are typical, that is, save for one devastating exception: Peter and Helen are vampires and have—for seventeen years—been abstaining by choice from a life of chasing blood in the hope that their children could live normal lives. One night, Clara finds herself driven to commit a shocking—and disturbingly satisfying—act of violence, and her parents are forced to explain their history of shadows and lies. A police investigation is launched that uncovers a richness of vampire history heretofore unknown to the general public. And when the malevolent and alluring Uncle Will, a practicing vampire, arrives to throw the police off Clara’s trail, he winds up throwing the whole house into temptation and turmoil and unleashing a host of dark secrets that threaten the Radleys’ marriage. The Radleys is a moving, thrilling, and radiant domestic novel that explores with daring the lengths a parent will go to protect a child, what it costs you to deny your identity, the undeniable appeal of sin, and the everlasting, iridescent bonds of family love. Read it and ask what we grow into when we grow up, and what we gain—and lose—when we deny our appetites.

Fairy tales are life.

From wicked queens, beautiful princesses, elves, monsters, and goblins to giants, glass slippers, poisoned apples, magic keys, and mirrors, the characters and images of fairy tales have cast a spell over readers and audiences, both adults and children, for centuries. These fantastic stories have travelled across cultural borders, and been passed on from generation to generation, ever-changing, renewed with each re-telling. Few forms of literature have greater power to enchant us and rekindle our imagination than a fairy tale. But what is a fairy tale? Where do they come from and what do they mean? What do they try and communicate to us about morality, sexuality, and society? The range of fairy tales stretches across great distances and time; their history is entangled with folklore and myth, and their inspiration draws on ideas about nature and the supernatural, imagination and fantasy, psychoanalysis, and feminism. Marina Warner has loved fairy tales over a long writing life, and she explores here a multitude of tales through the ages, their different manifestations on the page, the stage, and the screen. From the phenomenal rise of Victorian and Edwardian literature to contemporary children's stories, Warner unfolds a glittering array of examples, from classics such as Red Riding Hood, Cinderella, and The Sleeping Beauty, the Grimm Brothers' Hansel and Gretel, and Hans Andersen's The Little Mermaid, to modern-day realizations including Walt Disney's Snow White and gothic interpretations such as Pan's Labyrinth. In ten succinct chapters, Marina Warner digs into a rich hoard of fairy tales in their brilliant and fantastical variations, in order to define a genre and evaluate a literary form that keeps shifting through time and history. Her book makes a persuasive case for fairy tale as a crucial repository of human understanding and culture.

A classic.

This Newbery Honor-winning, hilarious Floridian adventure involves new kids, bullies, alligators, eco-warriors, pancakes, pint-sized owls, and more. A New York Times bestseller! Everybody loves Mother Paula’s pancakes. Everybody, that is, except the colony of cute but endangered owls that live on the building site of the new restaurant. Can the awkward new kid and his feral friend prank the pancake people out of town? Or is the owls’ fate cemented in pancake batter?

Three months after returning Magician Emery Thane’s heart to his body, Ceony Twill is well on her way to becoming a Folder. Unfortunately, not all of Ceony’s thoughts have been focused on paper magic. Though she was promised romance by a fortuity box, Ceony still hasn’t broken the teacher-student barrier with Emery, despite their growing closeness. When a magician with a penchant for revenge believes that Ceony possesses a secret, he vows to discover it…even if it tears apart the very fabric of their magical world. After a series of attacks target Ceony and catch those she holds most dear in the crossfire, Ceony knows she must find the true limits of her powers…and keep her knowledge from falling into wayward hands. The delightful sequel to Charlie N. Holmberg’s The Paper Magician, The Glass Magician will charm readers young and old alike.

In the explosive third volume of The Hundredth Queen Series, the queen of fire faces off against a demon of ice. Despite the odds, Kalinda has survived it all: Marriage to a tyrant. Tournaments to the death. The forbidden power to rule fire. The icy touch of a demon. That same demon now disguises itself as Rajah Tarek, Kalinda’s late husband and a man who has never stopped haunting her. Upon taking control of the palace and the army, the demon brands Kalinda and her companions as traitors to the empire. They flee across the sea, seeking haven in the Southern Isles. In Lestari, Kalinda’s powers are not condemned, as they are in her land. Now free to use them to protect those she loves, Kalinda soon realizes that the demon has tainted her with a cold poison, rendering her fire uncontrollable. But the lack of control may be just what she needs to send the demon back to the darkest depths of the Void. To take back the empire, Kalinda will ally with those she distrusts—and risk losing those most loyal to her—to defeat the demon and bring peace to a divided nation.

From the bestselling author of Catching Jordan comes a new teen romance sure to appeal to fans of Sarah Dessen. SOME RULES WERE MEANT TO BE BROKEN. Kate has always been the good girl. Too good, according to some people at school—although they have no idea the guilty secret she carries. But this summer, everything is different... This summer she's a counselor at Cumberland Creek summer camp, and she wants to put the past behind her. This summer Matt is back as a counselor too. He's the first guy she ever kissed, and he's gone from geeky songwriter who loved The Hardy Boys to a buff lifeguard who loves to flirt...with her. Kate used to think the world was black and white, right and wrong. Turns out, life isn't that easy...

For twelve-year-old Emily, the best thing about moving to San Francisco is that it's the home city of her literary idol: Garrison Griswold, book publisher and creator of the online sensation Book Scavenger (a game where books are hidden in cities all over the country and clues to find them are revealed through puzzles). Upon her arrival, however, Emily learns that Griswold has been attacked and is now in a coma, and no one knows anything about the epic new game he had been poised to launch. Then Emily and her new friend James discover an odd book, which they come to believe is from Griswold himself, and might contain the only copy of his mysterious new game. Racing against time, Emily and James rush from clue to clue, desperate to figure out the secret at the heart of Griswold's new game—before those who attacked Griswold come after them too.

Sang Sorenson’s father abandoned her and her sister, leaving them to fend for themselves for months. He’s returned, and finds Sang is missing. He demands she return. Right now. Will he call the police if she doesn’t? Her Academy team doesn’t want to risk losing her ghost status and she doesn’t want to put them in danger, so she reluctantly returns home, but is comforted that she will still be monitored by them. But the second she opens the door, she discovers her father has made changes that will affect her entire future. His decisions will make them a normal family. Normal is no longer what Sang wants. It would kill her Academy career before it ever started. Not to mention it would end the special, new, and still-fragile relationships with the guys. Sang struggles with her family, her identity, and where she truly belongs. Now that the entire team knows about their romantic relationships with her, tensions are mounting, tearing the team apart from the inside. Only, Dr. Green isn't going to lie down and roll over by playing by the rules. Not anymore. Not while Sang is at risk. His heart can’t take leaving her in that house one more minute. He needs her. They all do.

Twins Crystal and Amber have the same goal: to be the first in their family to graduate high school and make something of their lives. When one gets pregnant during their junior year, they promise to raise the baby together. It’s not easy, but between their after-school jobs, they’re scraping by. Crystal’s grades catch the attention of the new guidance counselor, who tells her about a college that offers a degree in automotive restoration, perfect for the car buff she is. When she secretly applies—and gets in—new opportunities threaten their once-certain plans, and Crystal must make a choice: follow her dreams or stay behind and honor the promise she made to her sister.

From the New York Times bestselling author of Reconstructing Amelia comes a fast-paced teen series where one girl learns that in a world of intrigue, betrayal, and deeply buried secrets, it is vital to trust your instincts. It all starts with a text: Please, Wylie, I need your help. Wylie hasn’t heard from Cassie in over a week, not since their last fight. But that doesn’t matter. Cassie’s in trouble, so Wylie decides to do what she has done so many times before: save her best friend from herself. This time it’s different, though. Instead of telling Wylie where she is, Cassie sends cryptic clues. And instead of having Wylie come by herself, Jasper shows up saying Cassie sent him to help. Trusting the guy who sent Cassie off the rails doesn’t feel right, but Wylie has no choice but to ignore her gut instinct and go with him. But figuring out where Cassie is goes from difficult to dangerous, fast. As Wylie and Jasper head farther and farther north into the dense woods of Maine, Wylie struggles to control her growing sense that something is really wrong. What isn’t Cassie telling them? And could finding her be only the beginning? In this breakneck tale, New York Times bestselling author Kimberly McCreight brilliantly chronicles a fateful journey that begins with a single decision—and ends up changing everything.

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