#example Lyanna can be both selfish and selfless

[steel-winter-rose]

CHARACTER OUTLINE

𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋   𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄   :   Lyanna Stark

𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄(𝐒)   :  Lya, She-wolf, Wolf-Bitch, Winter’s Daughter, Willful Winter Rose, ñuha ziry-zokla.

╳   𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐖𝐒.

moody |  short-tempered  |  emotionally unstable |  whiny  |  controlling  |  conceited  | possessive  |  paranoid  |  liar  |  impatient  |  cowardly  | bitter  |  selfish  |  power-hungry  |  greedy  |  lazy  |  judgmental  |  forgetful  |  impulsive  |  spiteful  |  stubborn  |  sadistic  |  petty  |  unlucky  |  absent-minded |  abusive  |  addict  |  aggressive  | childish  |  callous  |  clingy  |  delusional  |  cocky  |  competitive  |  corrupt  |  cynical |  cruel  |  depressed  |  deranged  | egotistical | envious |  insecure  |  insensitive  | lustful  |  delinquent  |  guilt complex  |  reclusive  |  reckless  |  nervous  | oversensitive

♔   𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐇𝐒.

honest  |  trustworthy  |  thoughtful  |  caring  |  brave  |  patient  |  selfless  |  ambitious  |  tolerant  |  lucky  |  intelligent  |  confident  |  focused  |  humble  |  generous  |  merciful  | observant  |  wise  |  clever  |  charming  |  cheerful  |  optimistic |  decisive |  adaptive  |  calm  |  protective  |  proud |  diligent |  considerate |  compassionate |  good sportsmanship |  friendly  |  empathetic  |  passionate  | reliable  |  resourceful  |  sensible  |  sincere |  witty  |  funny

🖌 𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐒 & 𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒.

art  |  acting  |  astronomy  |  animals  |  archery  |  sports  |  belly dancing |  bird watching  |  blacksmithing  |  boating  |  calligraphy  |  camping  |  candle making  |  casino gambling  |  ceramics  |  racing  |  chess  |  music   |  cooking  |  crochet  |  weaving  |  exercise  |  swordplay |  fishing  |  gardening  |  ghost hunting |  ice skating  |  magic  | engineering |  building  |  inventing  |  leather-working  |  martial arts  |  meditation  |  origami  |  parkour  |  people watching  |  swimming  |  puppetry  |  pyrotechnics  |  quilting  |  reading |  collecting  |  shopping  |  socializing  |  storytelling  |  writing  |  traveling  |  exotic dancing  |  singing

tagged by: @stormbcrn

tagging: @vaedar​ , @rhaegxr​ , @brideofcdragons​ , @kaerinio​ , @ashccra​ and whoever else!

[throwawayasoiafaccount]

if westeros was created to reflect our modern society instead of being loosely based off of western medieval society, then i think people would understand that these political marriages are for alliances, not love, and would agree that the modern lower class sentiments towards marriage are simply not applicable to these arrangements and both bride and groom cannot and should not expect love from their partner.

if our story occurred in a modern westeros very similar to our own modern society, then a lot of the obstacles our characters face would not happen because, simply put, modern society benefits from equality.

as an example, i am quite (100%) certain that the introduction of gender equality and other modern values and advancements to westeros would only be beneficial to rhaegar and elia, which means that this ideology benefits westerosi society on an individual level.

so, in this modern westeros au, if rhaegar and elia still married for a political alliance, and then had two children like they did in asoiaf, they could then peacefully divorce and write out a contract that secures both rhaenys and aegons inheritances. if lyanna and rhaegar met and fell in love while rhaegar and elia were married then the misunderstanding that sparked a war would never have happened. why? because lyanna would have a say in who she marries in this modern au. also, elia would have possibly been seeing others as well. why? because this was a political marriage and love shouldn’t be expected, so why would anyone be concerned about either party finding love outside of their marriage? plus modern westeros would have dna testing so there’s no reason to question the paternity of their children.

also, if elia had a child with someone else (in this hypothetical scenario, perhaps her lover died) and rhaegar decided to claim that child as his own while knowing that he’s not the real father in order to give this child a better life, then this wouldn’t be a problem either. why? because rhaegar’s in the know. (i’m only bringing this up bc of the rhaenyra and laenor situation. guys… laenor is perfectly aware that biologically those kids aren’t his, yet he still claimed them and loved them bc he and rhaenyra had an agreement. i do not understand why real ppl are even concerned about jace, luke, and joffs parentage. in the eyes of the law those boys are legally laenors.)

however, since asoiaf isn’t based off of our modern society and is instead a society riddled with misogyny, xenophobia and other social issues without the progress and advancements that we in the 21st century have benefited from, i will concede one thing to these antis who harp on and on about how selfish rhaenyra and rhaegar were for loving someone who wasn’t their spouse and for having a child(ren) out of wedlock.

because yes, rhaegar and lyanna’s love can be considered an act of selfishness, and rhaenyra loving harwin and having children with him can also be considered selfish.

but guess what? love in general is a very selfish state of being. you are prioritizing your partner and your desires over everything and everyone else in your life.

one of the greatest love stories of all time, romeo and juliet, is a tale of two selfish lovers who seek to be together despite the immense hatred between their families. selfless and dutiful children would never love an enemy. and yet, despite romeo and juliet’s love story ending in tragedy, no one would ever argue that these two lovers were in the wrong for simply trying to be together even though their love caused their families great grief. why? because the feud between the Montagues and the Capulets was stupid. and the story ends with the characters agreeing that this feud went on for long enough and acknowledging the fact that this petty feud between the families was the cause of their misery and the tragedy that befell them.

though the circumstances of all three love stories are different, it’s undeniable that these lovers were selfish for prioritizing their own desires over their duties to their houses.

to end this little spiel, i’d like to mention that the reason i first brought up a modern au was to remind people that the only reason rhaelya and rhaenyra’s relationship with harwin can be so decisively called selfish is because these characters live in westeros. and westeros is a fucked up society rooted in systematic oppression, violence, and abuse and other forms of exploitation in order to further the agenda of the powerful despite the harm it causes. any modern comforts and progressive ideas hinder the control the patriarchs have over their families and put a name to the bigotry expressed against these unconventional relationships. so yes, their love is selfish because being unconventional in such a backwards society is a recipe for disaster, especially since both of these relationships hinge on a woman deciding to take control of her sexual autonomy, which is a big no no in westeros since a woman’s body only belongs to her father and husband. so yes, these love stories are selfish because these characters are prioritizing themselves in a society that benefits from them losing their autonomy and harms them and their loved ones when they try to take back their autonomy.

to finish off, the reason i brought up the tragic love story of romeo and juliet is to remind people that even though rhaegar and lyanna’s love was selfish, other characters still need to be held accountable for their actions that helped to escalate this misunderstanding into a tragedy that consumed all of westeros.