#everytime I see them at the supermarket Im afraid to buy them

[michellesmusing]

Haribo Gummy Bears Review

🤣🤣🔥

Link to read the Review on Amazon

It was my last class of the semester, and the final exam was worth 30% of our grade.

After a late night study session I felt confident, but I had to decide between sleeping in or cooking breakfast. My eyelids chose sleep. My stomach later regretted this decision, and after several uncomfortable stomach growls, I finally decided to make a quick stop by the campus bookstore and grab a snack before my test. Since the semester was ending and everyone was going home for the summer, a lot of items were on sale, including the snacks and candy that they kept up front. Being in the hungry state that I was in, it felt only logical to pick the largest, yet least expensive candy in order to get more bang for my buck.

And there they sat: two bags of Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears, buy one get one free. "What a deal!" I thought naïvely. I would eat one bag before my test, and one bag afterwards.

As I walked to class, I gleefully chewed on those abominable little bastards, unaware of the utter mayhem that they would soon unleash upon my poor, poor anus.

I sat down at my desk as the professor informed us that, due to issues with cheating in the past, restroom breaks would be prohibited until the completion of the exam. "I'll give you 10 minutes to use the restroom now; this will be your last chance. Any takers?"

The demon bears hadn't released their unholy necromancy upon my stomach yet, so in my moment of ignorant foolishness, I remained seated, still munching on those miniature bear-shaped bombs. After the students wise enough to take the professor's offer had returned, the professor handed out the test. I was six questions in when it happened.

It started subtly at first, almost like a slight tingly sensation in my lower abdomen. I thought nothing of it, assuming my intestines were just doing their thang. Little did I know that my intestines were trying desperately to warn me of the horror that was on the horizon. By question 9 it happened again, but this time it was followed by a sharp pain, as if those infernal hellions had orchestrated an attack upon my colon. I fought to contain the groan that tried escaping my lips. It was at this point I began to panic; something was going horribly long, and I needed to get through this test before it got any worse.

By question 14 my worst fear was upon me; the Satan bears' burning, hot, liquidy dark magic crashed against my anal sphincter like a tidal wave. I was able to close the hatch just in time, but those relentless, toxic bears beat against it like Orcs breaking down the doors of Helm's Deep. I knew I wouldn't be able to so much as shift in my seat without risking a breach.

I kept fighting through my exam, clenching my cheeks with all my might. Beads of sweat began rolling down my neck. Suddenly, a loud, gurgling war cry came from my belly, and the entire class lifted their heads.

At this point, nothing mattered except expelling this ungodly presence from my bowels. With 15 questions left, I promptly wrote C for every answer and ran out of the classroom. My professor yelled something, but I was too preoccupied with the volcanic eruption that needed to take place before I could find sweet, sweet relief.

I burst into the restroom like the Kool-Aid man and, behold, the handicap stall was empty. Sun rays from the adjacent window shone upon it, as if it were a gift from God himself. It took me less than .5 seconds to undo my belt buckle, pull down my pants, and finally relax my weary buttocks upon the toilet seat.

It took absolutely no effort to expel this demon. Almost immediately, the floodgates of hell were opened and the damned, liquified souls of an entire bag's worth of gummi bears cried as they burned through my sphincter and into the watery abyss below. I had never felt such simultaneous relief and anguish in my life.

After 30 more minutes of this, I immediately went home, dug a hole in my backyard, and burned the remaining bag of gummi bears. I leave with this; do not, I repeat do NOT eat these spawns of Satan. Not only did they cause me to fail my final test, but the anguish I experienced is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy. The only place these god forsaken hell bears belong are buried deep below the Earth's surface.

[moreidsdaughter]

Emily Prentiss Fluff Alphabet

warning: this wasn’t proofread

word count: idk

a/n: i was supposed to put this out about a week ago, but the power went out as i was writing it.

A = Attractive (What do they find attractive about the other?)

Emily adores your eyes. She can’t help but stare into them when you guys talk. Even when your not talking to her, she loves to stare at the dreamy orbs. You’ve definitetly caught her staring at them a handful of times.

B = Baby (Do they want a family? Why/Why not?)

Emily Prentiss is neutral on the subject. She’s not against having kids, but if her partner wants one she wouls support it.

C = Cuddle (How do they cuddle?)

After you had moved in together, in the first few weeks you often spent long nights on the couch eating chinese takeout tangled in each others’ arms. Since then, cuddling is natural to you two. Almost anytime you make a meal she comes around and from behind engulfs you in a hug. On hard days, you guys will spoon. Sometimes Emily is the big spoon and sometimes she’s the little spoon, this all depends on who needs comfort though. 

D = Dates (What are dates with them like?)

Emily likes quaint dates like going to the park and having a picnic to trying new foods at resturants. 

E = Everything (You are my ____ (e.g. my life, my world…))

Emily says you are my home. Emily sees you as a person she can always talk to no matter what.

F = Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)

After a hard case involving women who looked like you. Ever since that case, she knew she was in love with you because she wanted to protect you more than she had ever wanted to protect someone before. When she got home, the first thing she did was see you and tell you that she loves you.

G = Gentle (Are they gentle? If so, how?)

Yes! Emily is a gentle and affectionate lover. When she holds you, she runs her fingers through yout hair and gives you soft kisses. Emily also loves it when you do it to her.

H = Hands (How do they like to hold hands?)

Yes, everywhere. Emily isn’t afraid to show her love for you in public. You guys like to hold hands by locking pinkies.

I = Impression (What was their first impression?)

From the moment Emily met you she felt amazed from deep within her heart. On the outside she tried not to show it at first though.

J = Jealousy (Do they get jealous?)

YES YES YES

Okay, so one time you guys went clubbing with the girls of the BAU. This one guy hit on you, so she made out with you roughly. Then Emily looked at the guy with a stare and put her arms around your shoulder.

K = Kiss (How do they kiss? Who initiated the first kiss?)

Kisses in public are gentle and sultle, but when you guys hve alone time hey’re passionate and sweet.

L = Love (Who says ‘I love you’ first?)

Emily told you that she loved you for the first time, after she came back from a hard case.

M = Memory (What’s their favourite memory together?)

Late one night, she stumbled into your bedroom after a case. You drew her a hot bath and gave her a message. 

N = Nickel (Do they spoil? Do they buy the person they love everything?)

Emily likes to buy you so something every once in awhile, but your relationship is about experiences it’s not materialistic. Your relationship is about having going to parks, museums and being intimate. Your relationship with Emily is about enjoying the little things.

O = Orange (What colour reminds them of their other half?)

Gold, everytime Emily see’s it she’s reminded of your golden personality and beautiful smile. When she looks at gold she thinks of all the good and rich things about you.

P = Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

ALRIGHT SOOOOO, im convinced that Emily would call her partner babe.

Q = Quaint (What is their favourite non-modern thing?)

Her favorite non modern thing is when you bake together.

R = Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

Emily and you like to cuddle on days like these. You lay on top of her and she has her arms around your waist as she gives to sweet kisses. After the cuddle fest, you guys like to get up and bake while listening to old music like the Beatles.

S = Sad (How do they cheer themselves/others up?)

Emily goes to you when she needs comfort. She’ll just go up to you and you’ll giver her a giant hug.

T = Talking (What do they like to talk about?)

anything, your days, food. Basically anything that makes you guys happy .

U = Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

After a long days stressful days at work, you draw Emily a bath and drink wine with your arms around her in the bath.

V = Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

Emily loves to show you off. She loves to take you anywhere she can. She isn’t afraid to show the world how much she loves you.

W = Wedding (When, how, where do they propose?)

I think Emily would propose on a lazy day at home, when your baking or taking a bath. emily’s proposal would definitely be chill tho

X = Xylophone (Songs that remind you of them)

505 - Arctic Monkeys

Lost in the Supermarket - The Clash

Black and White - Niall Horan

Checkmate - Conan Gray

Girl Crush - Harry Styles

Woman - Harry Styles

Upper West Side - King Princess

Y = Yes (Do they ever think of getting married/proposing?)

Always, Emily knew from the moment that she loved you, that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with you.

Z = Zebra (If they wanted a pet, what would they get?)

A cat duh, Sergio.