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f4rtnite · 2 months ago

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New Year's Already?

Bkdk fanfic originally posted on ao3

Part 1/2

Summary: Bakugou only made one New Year's resolution, but it was already Christmas and he was nowhere near completing it. With only six days left in the year, would he be able to accomplish it in time or will it be too late?

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It was 8 am on Christmas morning when Bakugou had woken up from his alarm clock. If it had been any other Christmas morning, Bakugou would’ve felt an abundance of joy and energy as he ran down the stairs to see the presents that his parents left him under the tree. However this morning, Bakugou woke up in his UA dorm room feeling more glum than ever. Bakugou only had one thing on his Christmas list, but he knew that no matter what, not even the fat man with magic, could give Bakugou what he truly wanted. Because of this, when some of his classmates came up with the idea of doing Secret Santa, Bakugou was completely against it. It wasn’t because he was a Scrooge who hated fun, he just couldn’t think of a gift to ask for. Unfortunately for him, thanks to majority rule, the gift exchange ended up happening after all, and Bakugou had to think of something random to put on a wish list.

Bakugou sat up from his bed and turned his alarm off. He let out a yawn as he rubbed his eyes to try to feel more awake. After a few minutes, he managed to get out of his bed and put his slippers on. He crouched under his bed and pulled out a neatly wrapped gift that had a fabric bow on the top and on the tag it read, “To Izuku.” Bakugou worked hard to make sure that the presentation of his gift was perfect. He took inspiration from Pinterest and watched a lot of YouTube videos to make sure everything was as good as it could possibly be. He even practiced his handwriting several times before actually writing Izuku’s name on it.

Bakugou carefully grabbed the gift and walked out of his dorm room down to the commons. He placed the gift under the Christmas tree that the whole class had decorated together. He looked at the gifts and noticed that almost everyone had already placed their presents under the tree. Usually, Bakugou would be curious to see what he got, but despite seeing the gift that had his name on it, he would have cared less to even take a peek at it. Once the gift was under the tree, Bakugou took himself back to his dorm room, as he still had a few hours to spare before it was time for everyone to meet and open presents.

Once Bakugou was back in his room, he laid down on his bed, pulled out his phone, and scrolled through TikTok to try and cheer himself up. Thirty minutes had passed and Bakugou was only feeling worse and worse. Bakugou's for you page was usually filled with random videos, usually of cute cats. Cat videos usually cheered him up but when he saw a video of two cats being cute with each other captioned “us,” he became angry. He never thought a video of cats being loving would make him so angry. Out of pure frustration, he threw his phone across his room, which made a loud noise as it hit his wall. He sat in silence for a moment until he heard the voice of two students in the hall outside of his room.

“Deku aren't you excited? It's Christmas!" Uraraka was filled with joy as she skipped through the halls with Midoriya following right behind her.

“I’ve never seen you this thrilled before, you must really like Christmas.” Midoriya was speed walking in order to keep up with Uraraka’s fast pace.

“Christmas always makes me feel happy especially when I'm around the people I love. Even though I'm not with my parents right now I still get to be here with you.” Uraraka had stopped skipping through the halls. Without her realizing it, she had stopped right in front of Bakugou’s room.

“Yeah, I guess that does make it more special…” Midoriya smiled.

“And I'm so excited to see what I got! Last year my parents got me a brand new pair of shoes and I was so happy. It was my first pair since forever that wasn't thrifted” Uraraka pointed down at the white shoes that she was wearing.

“Now come on Deku let's be the first ones in the Commons before everyone else gets there!”

“Uraraka we still have almost another hour, are you sure you want to go now?" Midoriya yawned as he was still sleepy, and his face showed it.

“Who cares, it's Christmas!"

Bakugou had heard every word of the other two’s conversation, and he felt his heart sank. The amount of joy that was audibly heard from Midoriya and Uraraka made Bakugou’s day go from bad, to worse.

“What the hell was I thinking?! I never stood a chance…" Bakugou felt tears forming in his eyes.

“This holiday is so stupid!” He stood up from his bed, grabbed his pillow, and threw it across his room.

He went up to his desk and kicked his chair to the ground. With the chair out of his way, he slammed both his first into his desk as he activated his quirk, turning the papers that were on his desk into ash. He tried to hold back his tears but once he let a single tear drop, he couldn't stop the rest. He only cried for a minute before he was able to snap himself out of it. He convinced himself that it was stupid to cry about something that he knew was going to happen eventually. It was obvious that Midoriya and Uraraka had chemistry and that they were going to end up together, even if he tried not to see it.

“If only I had brown hair, if only I were a girl… Maybe I’d at least have a chance…” He picked up his chair from the ground, slammed it back down, and kicked it.

“Damnit, I’m acting like an idiot. I need to sleep this off.” He laid down on his bed and reached out for his pillow, only to remember that it was on the other side of the room. He decided to sleep without it, as he was already relaxed and comfortable. It only took a few minutes for Bakugou to fall asleep, as he was exhausted from the meltdown he had just had. He shut his eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After eight years of saving every single penny that he had, Bakugou was ready to buy the perfect hero costume for Izuku. He had sketched out the design over a hundred times, determined to make it the best it can be and finally, the time had come. The case that held the costume was in Bakugou’s hands and now all he had to do was give it to the person he loved the most. Bakugou had rehearsed this day over and over again, countless times in his mind. He was going to gift the suit to Midoriya, they’ll form an agency together, and they will be with each other for the rest of their lives.

“So Izuku do you like the suit?”

“Wow, I mean, I can’t believe you did all of this for me…”

“Now that you have this, you can be a hero again. We can start an agency together, just like what we always dreamed of!”

“Kacchan, I really do appreciate all of this but, I don’t want to join your agency.”

“W-what..?” For Bakugou, time felt like it had abruptly stopped. The world around him became distorted, and nothing felt real.

“Well, Katsuki, we’re not kids anymore. Not only that, but I don’t have the time to be a hero. I’ve got a full-time job as a teacher, I have a wife and a child to take care of. I just really can’t be a hero now.”

“R-right that does make sense. I mean it only was a suggestion.” Bakugou felt himself fall apart. His whole world had been shattered and there was nothing he could do about it. If only he had been brave enough to ask Midoriya out when they were young. If only he didn’t crumble up his New Year’s resolution, which was to finally go out on a date with Midoriya. Bakugou heard a loud banging noise surround him that only grew louder.

“It’s alright Katsuki, you still have a different gift to give me today.” Midoriya crouched down and said to Bakugou, who was currently lying on the floor.

“What are you talking about? This suit was the only gift I had.”

“Did you already forget about Christmas? Wake up”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Kacchan wake up! We’re all waiting on you!” Midoriya shouted as he aggressively banged on Bakugou’s door.

Bakugou woke up suddenly, his body was sweaty and his breathing was heavy. He looked at his alarm clock and noticed the time.

“Shit, it’s already ten o'clock. I’m supposed to be in the commons!” Bakugou quickly got up and opened his door, only to be jumpscared by Midoriya, who was still standing outside his door.

“I’m surprised you slept in Kacchan, especially on Christmas.”

“You damn nerd why’d you have to knock on my door so damn loudly?”

“Someone’s cranky this morning.” Midoriya chuckled

“Shut up and get out of my way!” Bakugou pushed Midoriya to the side and walked to the commons.

All of class 1A was now gathered in the commons and were ready to celebrate Christmas together. All the girls had cute Christmas pajamas, with each girl matching in duos. Kaminari had bought Santa hats for all the guys to wear and passed them out to each of them. Jirou was the one in charge and leading the Christmas party since most of this was her idea to begin with.

“Alright so now that we finally have everyone here, we can start our Secret Santa gift exchange!” Jirou said as she smiled.

“Okay, guys so this is how we're going to do this. I’ll start off by giving my gift to the person I got, and then the person who received the gift will be the next person to hand out their gift.” Jirou walked up to the Christmas tree and grabbed her gift. Once the gift was in her hands, she handed it to Bakugou.

“Merry Christmas Bakugou. I was your secret Santa.” She handed the gift to Bakugou

Bakugou grabbed the gift and admired how nice it was wrapped. The Christmas spirit was starting to come back in him, and he enthusiastically opened the present.

“Holy shit!” Bakugou was extremely surprised with the gift he had received, and so was everyone else.

“Were those not the ones you wanted?” Jirou looked away shyly as she felt a wave of embarrassment flush over her.

“Are you kidding?! I didn’t think you would get me such an expensive pair of headphones! I was just expecting something cheap from the convenience store!” Bakugou held up the box which contained the pair of Apple Airpod Max headphones.

“I don’t understand what everyone is freaking out about. Aren’t those only 80,000 yen?” Momo said as she sipped her tea.

“80,000?! I think I might die just from being close to something that pricy!” Uraraka dramatically collapsed to the floor.

“Yeah, what happened to the agreed budget of 8,000 yen?!” Mineta yelled.

“Guys calm down. You guys do know that I get a bunch of PR for this type of stuff right? It’s not like I eventually went over the budget. Those were a brand new pair that was given to me and I knew it would just be perfect for Bakugou.” Jirou said

“Alright, can we just move on already?!” Bakugou yelled

“Yeah, Bakugou’s right, let us move on from this” Jirou said as she was visibly flustered.

Bakugou stood up and grabbed his gift for Midoriya. He walked up to him, and despite his cold face, he was tremendously nervous to hand his gift to him.

“Merry Christmas you damn nerd.” Bakugou looked away from Midoriya as he handed him his gift.

“Wow Kacchan, just the wrapping alone looks incredible!” Midoriya began to awkwardly analyze the wrapping alone as he was muttering to himself.

“Deku stop being weird and just open the damn gift already!” Bakugou yelled

“Sorry Kacchan!” Midoriya pulled the fabric, untying the perfect bow. Then, he carefully tore apart the paper. The gift was inside a taped-up box that he struggled to open for a minute before eventually having it open, revealing what was inside.

“An All Might squishmallow! This is exactly what I wanted!” Midoriya’s face lit up with joy as he aggressively hugged the squishmellow. “Thank you so much Kacchan!”

“Yeah, whatever. It was nothing.” Bakugou sat on the ground with his arms wrapped around his knees. He did his best to cover up his blushing face and luckily, nobody noticed.

“Now Midoriya go grab the gift you brought,” Jirou said

“Right!” Midoriya stood up and grabbed his present, which was in a gift bag.

“Here you go Uraraka. This one is for you.” Midoriya handed her the bag.

When Bakugou saw who Midoriya was giving his gift, he felt his blood boil. Out of all the people Midoriya could have gotten, of course, it had to be her. Bakugou didn’t even want to see what he got her, so he stood up and went to the bathroom.

“I saw that on your list you said that you’d be okay with receiving anything, so I made sure that what I got you was something very special,” Midoriya said as he watched Uraraka open her gift.

Uraraka pulled her gift out of the bag and what she saw, made her want to cry. “Oh my gosh Midoriya, this is the greatest gift ever.” tears started to form in her eyes as she held up the gift. Midoriya had gotten her a teal juicy couture jacket and a pair of low-rise jean shorts which seemed like a cute gift at a glance, but Uraraka knew the true meaning behind it.

Midoriya leaned in close and whispered into Uraraka’s ear, “Check the pocket”

Uraraka put her hand into the pocket of the jacket and pulled out a note.

“Dear Ochako,

Sorry I couldn't spend Christmas with you. Shigaraki said it would be a bad idea to break into UA even though I have both yours and Izuku’s blood It would make it super easy to get in, but, it’s the boss's orders after all so I’m stuck in our hideout for now.

Anyway, I was at the mall a few weeks ago when I ran into Izuku. Obviously, I started following him around just to see what he was up to, and that’s when I found out he was shopping for you.

I approached him and he started freaking out, his face was so cute, and I told him that I knew the perfect gift he could get for you.

Remember how the last time the League attacked, we got a chance to talk? I told you that I’d buy you a super cute outfit one day and that maybe we’ll even match. So I told him to get you the Juicy jacket, and I also got one myself. Mine is baby pink. As much as I wanted to get you a skirt, I knew you preferred shorts so I told Izuku to get you those while I got myself a cute skirt.

That’s also when I found out that you were telling Izuku about everything we’ve done together such as sneaking away from the battlefield just to have some girl time together. I thought you wanted to keep things secretive but I don’t mind, I like Izuku as well you know.

There’s so much I still want to say to you but Izuku is forcing me to hurry up and finish the letter since he doesn’t want to be seen out in public with me, so lame. Just know that the next time I see you, I want to see you wearing this adorable new outfit, okay?

Bye-bye, for now, I love you

Himiko Toga”

By the time Uraraka was done reading the letter, Bakugou had come out of the bathroom and was back in the commons.

“Wow, Midoriya you’re so romantic” Ashido teased, “So how much longer are you guys going to pretend that you aren’t dating?” She giggled

“No no no you’ve got the wrong idea, really! It’s nothing like that at all!” Midoriya exclaimed nervously.

“C’mon Midoriya you can admit it, we won't be jealous,” Kaminari said to Midoriya as he gave him a nudge on the shoulder.

“No guys seriously we're not dating,” Uraraka said, sounding more serious.

Bakugou just watched as the teasing went on. He thought that he would've been in the bathroom long enough for the rest of the class to move in already. Unfortunately, he was there to witness what was basically a confirmation of Midoriya and Uraraka being a couple.

“Alright let's move on. Nobody cares if they're dating or not." As Bakugou spoke, there was a huge shift in the atmosphere.

“Yeah, Bakugou’s right. Uraraka you should pass out your gift” Jirou continued on with the activity.

Once Secret Santa was over, the class stayed together for about another hour before going off to do their own thing for Christmas.

Now that things had settled down, Bakugou used this as his opportunity to talk to Midoriya and Uraraka properly. He wanted to hear from them directly that they were officially a couple.

The two were sitting down on the couch chatting when Bakugou approached them. Midoriya had his arms wrapped around his All Might Squishmallow since he hadn't let it go since he first got it. It did cheer up Bakugou’s soul slightly when he saw how much Midoriya appreciated his gift.

“So, you two are a couple?" Bakugou said as he tried to sound like he didn't care.

“Kacchan it's really not like that we're just friends”

As Midoriya spoke, Uraraka nodded her head quickly in agreement.

“You guys keep saying that but with the way you've been acting, it's becoming really hard to believe” Bakugou had his arms crossed.

Uraraka let out a sigh, "I can prove to you that we're not, but you also have to promise me that you can keep a secret."

“Sure. So now how are you going to prove it to me?”

Uraraka handed him the note from Toga. “I'm only allowing you to read this because Deku told me that you were good with secrets and that surprisingly you're a very understanding person."

“The reason why we've seemed so close recently is because I'm the only one who knows the truth,” Midoriya said as Bakugou read the note.

“So you guys have been working with the villains?!" Bakugou yelled

Midoriya quickly put his hands over Bakugou's mouth. “Don’t be so loud Kacchan! And no we’re not working for Toga. We only interact with her when she attacks and the moment comes we’re still going to turn her in,” Midoriya whispered.

“Okay well if I’m gonna be honest, I don’t care about what you guys have going on with Toga. As long as you two aren’t dating!” Bakugou handed the letter back to Uraraka as he yelled.

“Bakugou be careful with that!” Uraraka grabbed the note carefully and put it in her pocket.

“Well, I guess now would be a good time for me to leave. I promised my mom that I’d go visit her for Christmas and she’ll be mad at me if I show up late,” Midoriya said awkwardly.

“Bye Deku,” Uraraka and Bakugou said unanumusly.

Now with Midoriya gone, Bakugou had stared intensely at Uraraka, scaring her.

“You’re sure there’s so funny business going on between you two?” Bakugou was close too Uraraka’s personal space as he had completely towered over her.

“No Bakugou nothing is going on! How many times do I have to tell you? Why do you always get so upset anytime me and Deku are hanging out? Do I bother you that much?” Uraraka wrapped her arms around herself and looked down to the ground.

“No round face that’s not it. As corny as this may sound it’s not you it’s me,” Bakugou rolled his eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” She had a puzzled look on her face.

“If you can trust me with your secret, then I’ll trust you with mine. But I swear to God if you spread around what I’m about to tell you, you will die!” He held his fist up to her as a threat.

“Okay I understand! You don’t need to be so scarry about it!” Uraraka brought her voice down to a whisper, “So what’s this big secret?”

Bakugou took a deep breath and looked away from Uraraka, “I have a crush on Izuku, and I’ve liked him for a while now. I told myself at the start of this year that I would eventually confess to him, but I couldn’t bring myself to it. Now the year’s practically over and I failed. I’m gonna be alone forever.”

“Hey don’t be so negative about it. You still have six more days in the year. There’s still time.” Uraraka tried to cheer up Bakugou.

“You don’t get it round face! Even if I did confess I’d still get rejected. Midoriya doesn’t like boys and even if he did, he would never like me. Not after everything I’ve done to him.” Bakugou’s voice was soft as he was having a hard time voicing his feelings.

“I’m sure things will be fine. I might not be the best person to take love advice from but if there’s one thing I know about Deku is that you are the most important person to him. He cares about you so much and would do anything for you.”

Bakugou smiled, “He does always follow me around”

“There you go that’s the spirit. You’ve just gotta go for it Bakugou!” Uraraka had jumped up with excitement and accidentally made herself and Bakugou float.

“Round face put me down right now!”

“Sorry Bakugou!” Uraraka released the two of them and they both landed on the couch.

Christmas went on and Bakugou ended up visiting his family for the rest of the day. It wasn’t until around nine pm that he and his classmates started returning back to the dorms. Bakugou was the first one back and he wanted to try out his new Christmas presents. He opened up the headphones that Jirou got him and connected them to his phone. ected them to his phone. After a long day of many mixed emotions, he need to unwind with some tunes.

#fanfic #fanfiction #bkdk #mha bkdk #bnha bkdk #bkdk fic #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #izuku midoriya #ochako uraraka

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xxlegitcookiezxx · 6 months ago

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Ok, how about your favorite crispy rabbit?

Burntrap + 1, 8, 12, 23

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

(Marge voice) I just think he’s neat.

Seriously though I think his model is cool and he had a lot of potential as a character if he had been used more.

Aside from that, I like zombie/undead characters and villains in general so it’s the perfect combination of traits.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

Not exactly despise, but I’m not the biggest fan of the peepaw jokes (shoves my multiple posts where I call him peepaw under a rug).

The name itself and the joke of him being old isn’t what I don’t like, it’s more when people edit him in a like hospital gown with an oxygen mask and put him in a wheelchair and edit in coughing and everything.

I tend to have more serious takes on characters and I like to take fnaf as more dramatic and meaningful than jokey, so the peepaw stuff just irks me a bit, but not enough where I despise it. There are only a handful of those jokes that I actually find funny (honestly it really depends). No hate to anyone who does that though!!

In fact, one of my favorite funny fnaf videos is this little animation.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

(Blanks entirely) Uhhhh… To be honest I haven’t really thought about it. There’s so little canon information we actually know about him in the first place to come up with headcanons.

Most of what I can think of as “headcanons” are just speculation on what might actually be canon but aren’t actually confirmed, just implied (like Vanny/Vanessa/someone was down there fixing him and putting him back together, based on how some of the suit pieces are bolted together by pieces of metal).

I’ll headcanon that he can’t actually talk anymore from how broken and destroyed he is. Maybe he could communicate through technology or psychic ghost energy or something.

23. Favorite picture of this character?

Canon picture? This, I guess. Dude really doesn’t have any good angles. This is actually the main pic I use as an art reference but I get the colors elsewhere bc of the lighting.

Fanart? It’s hard to find a lot of art of him (unless I go on Pinterest, but 90% of pins are reposts so I can never find the actual artist).

I went through the top posts in the Burntrap tag and it’s really saying something about how little art of him is posted here that I saw 4 of mine while scrolling and none of them have over 100 notes.

Here’s a few that I like from these lovely people:

Burntrap and Vanessa by drawolfknight

Yay Burntrap by somewhatidealname

Mugshot Burntrap and Glitchtrap by salvenged

#ask #ask game #burntrap #legit speaks

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riddlerosehearts · 9 months ago

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OC ask game!

i was tagged by @nerdalmighty! tysm for tagging me! 💖

going to talk about my tav, elenion, and will try not to ramble too much about them!

do they have any special hobbies or skills?

well, aside from being a skilled musician (he is a bard, after all), i guess the main thing would be that he's also a great storyteller! and he's very passionate about history and anthropology, so he reads and researches a lot and uses topics like historical figures and folk tales as inspiration for songs to write and stories to tell. needless to say the adventure he ends up on during the game gives him plenty of material, lol. OH and they've always had an affinity for the night sky and loved stargazing as well due to the influence of their mother, who's an astronomer.

do they have any unique scars, marks, or tattoos?

hmm, i don't imagine that they do! so i'll answer an extra question at the end since i don't have much of an answer for this one lol

what's their fighting style? do they stick to the back and wait for a strategic opening, or charge in guns blazing?

oh, they definitely try and stick to the back or the sidelines and rely on ranged spells and crowd control abilities, while also doing everything they can to buff their allies/debuff their enemies. they're very overly cautious because of something that happened in their past--specifically, they've always believed that their own lack of caution while using fire magic during a performance caused their father's death. so in combat they want to be able to keep their distance and carefully plan and strategize as much as possible.

what does their tent look like? what do they keep inside it?

ooh okay so i've actually thought a bit about this already because i came across a fun little template on here for describing your tav's tent and i kept meaning to fill it out. i even looked at photos of tents on pinterest for it and i decided that elenion's would have a design similar to this, but imagine all the gold accents are silver instead. inside, he'd keep his lute or his lyre (whichever one he's not using at the moment) and probably other instruments the party finds on the journey, alongside a big pile of books. included among that pile are several journals he's filled with a combination of song lyrics and research notes and random personal thoughts, and his father's old songbook which he carries with him wherever he goes. he's also got a small music box, and some skin/haircare products because yes he's on a super dangerous journey and has a parasite in his brain to worry about, but if he doesn't at least try to take care of his appearance he's sure he'll go insane faster than you could say "ceremorphosis".

they'd also have a little exterior area that's similar to shadowheart's--some nice decorative pillows and a stool beside a table with a quill and inkpot, even more books and journals stacked up, and sheet music on a tabletop stand. everything they need to be able to sit under the stars while they attempt to relax or work on things. they have their own telescope too, but unlike gale's, theirs is a much more compact telescope that's meant for travel. and finally they've been accumulating a small collection of artifacts that they find while traveling and think are interesting!

...and now i've just rambled on a bunch about what might be in my character's tent LOL, whoops! i'm adding one additional question and then i'll be done.

what song represents them best?

i've been listening to pluto by sleeping at last a lot lately because it makes me think of elenion, so i'm going to say that one! to explain why as briefly as possible, by the start of the game he's been very much stuck in his past and in self-destructive patterns for a long time and throughout the game's story he realizes that he needs to let go and break those patterns if he ever wants to actually heal and be happy. so i think this song represents that really well.

tagging @smooti if you'd like to do this for your tav, but no pressure! i don't have a lot of bg3 mutuals and i'm not sure who else has OCs for it that they'd like to talk about! so if anyone sees this and wants to participate just say i tagged you.

my questions for your OCs:

Where is your OC from?

Do they have a romantic partner (or multiple partners), and if so then what first drew them to their partner?

Do they have any unique scars, marks, or tattoos?

What does their tent look like? What do they keep inside it?

(you can also answer any of the other ones that i answered above if you'd like to!)

#you may ask where did elenion get beauty products from and my honest answer would be I DON'T KNOW lmao #where did GALE get such a big telescope? where did WYLL get a FANCY PAINTING for his tent?#where do ANY of them get like 90% of this stuff prior to act 3?? who knows!!#maybe elenion is so fussy about their hair that they just manifested shampoo though sheer willpower #idk i'm not questioning the logic of the tents. or of how anyone is able to constantly wear makeup either.#anyway thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about my tav lol #baldur's gate 3 #ask game #oc: elenion silverdew

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instantnoodledevourer · 5 months ago

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Introduction!! /ᐠっ˕ -マ

general

you can call me: pill0wc4se (Pillowcase) or Pillow

pronouns: he/him they/them 🏳️‍⚧️

personality/enneagram: infp | 9w1

birthday: 07/26 | minor!

about this blog

This is my main blog for basically everything

I have another blog for my fanfics: @pill0wc4se feel free to check it out :3

If you’re being sarcastic without context I might get confused, so tone tags are appreciated

I’m kinda bad at tagging and will probably forget to tag reposts appropriately

Oh also I am predicting that I will often change my blog design out of nowhere, so just be aware of this

Holy moly this post got long!!

View full post for: my tags, likes (+fandoms) / dislikes, more random info about me, socials, info about asks + boundaries

my tags

all can be found in the search bar >:3

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some of the things I like

here is my fandom list!!

cats, any cats, just cats in general, sadly I don't own one

instant noodles/ramen

coffee - I like mine with milk and sugar

vocaloid - my fav is Luka 🐟

visual kei - music and style

the color pink as you may have noticed :3

things I don’t like

warm weather - to specify anything over 26℃

nosebleeds that I get a lot :<

more (more jump!)

pink may be my favourite color but my comfort color is black

I love creating custom profiles for pjsekai!

I write fanfiction

I like to draw but I kinda suck

my first language is German and I can speak/read Russian as well

I have social anxiety even online, please go easy on me D:

some other stupid things about me

I enjoy typing in lowercase

and this little thing -> :3 it's taking over my life

I like putting double exclamation mark!!

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latest changes: 02/03/25

#intro post #introduction #introductory post #pinned intro #blog intro #introducing post

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itsallyscorner · 4 years ago

Note

I was wondering if you can write something about reader x marvel cast where they go on the tour bus with James Corden. Maybe reader is dating a costar (you can choose who)

💌

We Are Avengers

Pairing: Marvel cast x reader, Sebastian Stan x Fem!reader

Summary: Basically what happens during James Corden’s Star Star Tour😌

Warnings: None :)

Hello darling, thank you for the request! I apologize that it took so long for me to write, but I’ve been busy with school and I’ve been lacking motivation in general. But thank you so much for this request, it gave me the chance to rewatch one of my favorite Marvel cast videos so thank you for that as well, it never fails to make me smile. I hope you don’t mind that I chose Seb as the co-star you’re dating! Also, yes, I know I’ve been writing a lot of headcanons but writing this as a headcanon seems like the best way to write it for me😭 I’m gonna add in some pictures that the cast took with their disposable cameras, so enjoy😉

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

(GIF from Pinterest)

✧───── ･｡ﾟ★: *. ☽.* :★. ─────✧

When it was mentioned that you and some other members of the Infinity War cast were going to be on James Corden, you were very excited.

You enjoyed making appearances on late night talk shows; Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel—they were always fun to be on. Though you’ve always loved making appearances on James Corden’s show.

When you first heard about being on The Late Late Show, you were expecting to do a typical interview in the studio that would lead to playing a game later on in the show.

What you didn’t expect was to be led out to the parking lot with the rest of the cast, only to be greeted by a double decker bus with James’ face plastered alongside it.

At first you were all a bit confused but one of the producers came up to you all and explained the segment you were all filming.

Everyone was buzzing with exhilaration waiting to get on the bus. One by one you were called up, you being paired with Sebastian.

Wait, he would make you go up the stairs first so he can stay behind you, making sure you don’t fall. Omg and he would place his hand on your lower back too😭🥺

“Wow—Marvel’s own power couple, it’s such an honor to have you both on here. Thank you for coming!” James greeted the both of you. Partially acting because the cameras were rolling.

You and Sebastian beamed at him, proud of the title the fans and your cast mates have given you both over the years. “It’s always a pleasure to see you, James.”

James gives you both your name tags, pausing mid way while he was handing Seb his. James’ gaze shifts between you and Seb, “I’m sorry, you’re just both so beautiful.”

Seb bashfully thanks him, pulling you towards the seats, as you giggle behind him.

You and Seb sit towards the back, behind Don and Tom.

You all sit tight, talking amongst yourselves as you wait for the bus to start. In the seats were disposable cameras and some Late Late Show merch.

The bus hasn’t started driving yet, but you were all having too much fun with the disposable cameras.

Everyone was just taking pictures of each other. You and Seb took a couple selfies and some stolen shots of the others, mostly Anthony.

You even got a cute shot of Don and Tom:

Yes I know they used disposable cameras but I decided to tie in my ‘Polaroid’ series into this even though they’re not using Polaroids—just go with it😭

Being the more social one in the relationship, you were going up and down the aisle talking to everyone.

Seb stayed towards the back with Anthony and Winston. While you were at the front talking to Lizzie and Chris.

Being sad when you were all told to go sit down because you had to leave Lizzie.

Though it probably wasn’t shown in the video, I just KNOW that the filming for this segment was chaotic as fuck.

Chaotic in a good way.

But the whole bus was loud I just know it.

You could hear Mackie across from you talking loudly and laughing that contagious laugh of his.

You, Lizzie, Pom, and Zoe attempting to talk to each other from different spots on the bus over everyone else’s voice.

Chris and Paul can also be heard laughing all the way from the back.

James feeling like a parent because it felt like he was babysitting a bunch of toddlers.

The whole thing was freaking chaotic from the start, I mean ya’ll started the ‘tour’ with Benedict and Chris rubbing sunscreen on James’ legs.

Everyone passing around the sunscreen after, because it was sunny as hell and no one thought of wearing sunscreen.

Seb being a cheeky asshole and ‘accidentally’ smearing sunscreen across your face.

“Sebastian!” You gasped before a flash of light went off on you. When your eyes recovered from the flash you see Seb holding up a camera at you, snickering to himself.

James began to act as your guide, pointing out things like a coffee shop and explaining what it is.

All of you being childish and pretending to not know what a coffee shop or what a line is.

Laughing at Don when he got out of his seat and took a picture of the coffee shop. Like how he got into an over exaggerated position just to take a picture was funny.

Everyone being childish and acting as actual tourist in Los Angeles. Like pointing things out and asking about them or taking pictures of literally everything you drove by.

When Reggie Watts began that sing along thing everyone joined in, bopping and dancing along to the beat.

Like you guys are just having a really great time, happy to be in each other’s presence.

You could hear Sebby singing along to Reggie beside you, and you couldn’t help but just adore him singing and having fun.

He’d notice your stare, he may have had sunglasses on, but you could see the crinkle of his eyes from behind his sunglasses as he smiled at you.

“Na, na, na, na, na, na!” Seb repeated, leaning towards you to press a kiss on your temple.

Throughout the whole ride, he’d have his arm along the back of your seat or have it across your lap.

After the sing along, James went back to acting as a tour guide. He pointed to a red building—whatever it was—and deemed it as “Barbra Streisand’s holiday home”.

Josh Brolin, who was sat along at the back of the deck, raised his hand. “Excuse me! I—uh don’t mean to interrupt, but I have to use the bathroom. Can I use the bathroom?”

James pretending to cringe and telling him that in order to use the bathroom you have to be in three or more Marvel movies to use the bathroom—end credits don’t count.

Everyone being childish once again and yelling “OHHHHHHH!” Like a bunch of school kids.

James points to Tom, “Tom Hiddleston do you need the bathroom?”

Tom, with his soft voice and a small shrug says, “I’m actually okay!”

James then points to you and Seb, “My lovebirds at the back, Sebastian, (Y/n), do either of you need the bathroom?”

You and Seb glance at each other, “Nah we’re good.” Your boyfriend answers.

“Yeah, I used the bathroom before we came here.” You look behind your shoulder at Josh, a smug expression on your face, “Unlike some people.”

Josh flipping you off while everyone laughs at him.

Since Anthony and Seb aren’t sitting together, I just know that Anthony would be yelling at Seb from across the bus to get his attention.

No seriously, I saw them in the background of the video and even heard Mackie yelling lmao😭😂

“(Y/n) call Sebastian!” Anthony yelled at you from across the bus, pointing to the man beside you with a grin on his face.

You chuckle and nudge Seb, “Your boyfriend’s calling you.”

Seb would shake his head at you and turn his attention to Anthony; who just wanted to take a picture of Seb from his side of the bus.

James trying to get spoilers out of all of you but thankfully you all aren’t Tom Holland or Mark Ruffalo.

“Does anyone on this bus die in the next Avengers?” James asked. Suddenly you were all quiet, not a word coming out of any of you.

Until Paul began to scream his infamous line, “snITCHES END UP IN DITCHES!”

Getting confused when James suddenly asked the bus to stop and ran off the bus.

Next thing you know, you’re all hopping off the bus and walking into a comic store with a Spider-Man statue at the front.

Seb motioned to the statue and looked back and Anthony, “We gotta get a picture with that.”

Anthony instantly agreeing—he was willing to do anything to tease Tom Holland.

Seb’s not that huge with PDA, but he always needs to be touching you. So he’ll be interlocking your hands with his the moment you walk off the bus and all the way into the comic store.

Feeling thrilled to surprise the people who were shopping at the store.

You all walked around, mingled with some fans, taking selfies with them, and signed a few things.

You were looking at some Funko Pops with Lizzie when you felt a small tap on your leg.

You looked down to see a small girl looking up at you with wide eyes full of admiration. In her tiny hands was a Funko Pop of your character.

You and Lizzie instantly coo at the toddler, crouching down to her level so you can talk.

“Hey, sweetheart!” You greet her, taken back when she suddenly wraps her arms around you into a hug. You laugh wrapping your arms around her small figure and hugging her back.

“I love you so much!” She squeals into your ear, arms tightening around you. Your heart swelled as she excitedly babbled about how much she loved your character and how you were her favorite.

“I love you too! Oh my gosh, you’re so cute!” You decide to carry the toddler, who you later learned was named Lila. Her parents scolded her for distracting you from the other fans in the store, but you brushed them off, your attention focused on your tiny fan.

You carried her around while you met other fans and signed more comic books and merch.

You even introduced her to your other cast mates.

Sebastian’s heart absolutely melting at the sight of you with a baby.

Homie wants to wife you up one day and seeing you with a baby made his baby fever sky rocket.

“Lila, this is Sebastian! You know who he plays right?” You ask the toddler in your arms. Sebastian ducking a bit so he could hear her over the commotion in the store.

“Yeah, he’s the wiener soldier!” She replied. Both you and Seb had to hold back your laughs at her answer.

Lila bragging about how she loves you more than Sebastian.

Seb having to agree because he doesn’t wanna make a toddler cry.

Before you all left, you took pictures with Lila and her parents and signed a bunch of her merch.

^ the boys got their picture.

You guys get back on the bus only to come back to rolls of paper under your seats.

You all sang the “Avengers” song, singing screaming the lyrics dramatically.

Don and Anthony bringing on the vocals.

Before you guys get off the bus you all take a selfie together.

Leaving Chris Hemsworth on the bus and walking off the bus with your heart all warm and fuzzy because you had an amazing time with your boyfriend and your friends :)

This is so long holy shit

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

🏷 Tags ↴

*if there’s a line through your username, Tumbr won’t let me tag you*

Marvel Cast/ Avengers Tags

↪︎ @ximaginx @lozzypoz321 @sunwardsss @pokemonbong @pjokotlcmarvel201 @whoslili @111111111111111sblog @marvel-is-a-mood @blckyungblood @astroponyo @universemarvel @imthebadguyyy @roseke @bi-myself-forever @httpscarletwitch @millenniumloki @cristin-rjd @swords-are-cool @melaninfalconbucky @deamus-liv @elvish-sky @catsandbooksandsstuff @ellajoy419 @moonlight-babe99

Sebastian Stan Tags

↪︎ @theresnoplatypus @wintersoldierlover @peacelovehobbitness @milea @sunwardsss @thedenimjacket @roserose26

General Tags

↪︎ @quxxnxfhxll @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @thegirlwiththediary @agustdowney @bi-lmg @rqmanoff @sesamepancakes @stardustofreading @dracoswhore007 @swiftmind

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natsukitakama · 4 years ago

Text

Headcanon : Attention feat Kazutora Hanemiya

author note : I was obsessed with this TikTok and couldn’t kick it out my mind, now I’m not sure if it’s actually his Seiyuu who is dubbed it but it sure felt like it. I can’t breath anymore lol. It feels good to be able to write ngl. Enjoy ♡

-->If you’re curious you can find the TikTok right here

Warning : SFW but I can make a NSFW version if you’re asking for it / It’s not Spoiler-free so if you didn’t catch up with the manga you’ll be spoiled I’m sorry but stay safe ♡

Masterlist

i do not own those pictures they came from Pinterest so credit to their owner

it's kinda short to my apologies I would do better next time

Kazutora Hanemiya 羽宮ハネミヤ一虎カズトラ

I can’t see him dating anyone before the time skip, even if we got proof that he was interested into people (we all see the way he was looking when he was at the beach). But during this time, he was a teenager more over he already a family, people who he cared about. He just didn’t feel the need to add a significant other, he has his family, he had Toman.

Now I’m not saying that he wouldn’t date anyone when he was a teenager but he was so focused on Toman on his family than I can’t believe he got time to date someone, especially since he was busy kicking ass with his friends Baji.

But no matter if you met him during his teenage, after he left the juvenile prison or when he left prison. You’re going to need some patience with him. He has lived a lot of things. He is still a broken man who is this close of loosing his entire mind.

I believe that I first you would be the only one working on this relationship, I mean you would do the whole flirty thing and at first he’ll barley interact with you. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel proud for your compliment and that he isn’t happy that you are interested in him. It just that everytime he felt close to someone, they either die or just left him.

He wasn’t sure if he was mentally, physically, emotionally ready for any kind of relationship

So yeah at first you would be the only to text/call first, you’ll be the only who is taking news might be the only one to think about where to go out together.

Most of the times you would feel insecure, after all he was so handsome maybe he just didn’t care about you ? Maybe you were bothering him ? Maybe he wasn’t interested in you and was just giving you a favor when he was answering back.

You would feel as if he didn’t care all as if your love was unrequited

But don’t worry about it, this situation wouldn’t last as long as you thought it would will.

His walls will finally shattered down and he’ll feel like he can finally be himself with you, showing you his insecurity, providing you all the love his broken heart got.

When this will happen, my my, you signed for the clingiest boyfriend of all time (top 3 at least)

I’m not kidding I just feel it, the boy got a lot of loves and needs to give and receiving (especially receiving).

You know those cliche movie where the boyfriend climb into your house so he could reach your bedroom ? He will do it, especially if he got free times and he felt lonely. Kazutora will just randomly climb into your bedroom and will knock at it with a lovely smile as if everything was normal (for fuck sake use the damn door baby boi).

He loves hugs whether he is the one who is been hugged of if you’re the one, either way he is fine as long as he gets close to you. Your warmth tends to relax him. He might even fall asleep if you’re stroking his hair or his neck (bonus point if you’re tracing the ink mark of his tattoo)

I feel like he loves kissing you too ? Like he just can’t stop kissing you ? He is an addict kisser. Like one day you were visiting him at the petshop dropping him a bento because you wanted to spoil your boyfriend. Even though he claimed to Chifuyu that he wasn’t tired 5min before you were here, suddenly he felt like he needs his 10min break. Guess who finds themselves being pushed against the wall as their boyfriends was kissing them deeply ? You. And he just didn’t kiss you once, no no that would be too simple, he will kiss you again and again one hand holding yours against the wall the other would be either on your cheek or on your neck. Good luck to find your breath after that. Believe me when I say that even when you were about to leave him so you could go back to school or whenever you were expected, Kazutora will take your hands in his to bring you against his chest to steal you a couple of kisses before finally leaving you.

Like I said he is an addict.

I can see him as the type to sometimes grab both of your cheeks with his hand and then kiss you, again and again.

He jus loves being close to you, so when you two are out for a date or just because you got the chance to meet him while you were going home. Kazu won’t hesitate and hold your hand stroking it with his fingers.

Holding hand is a minimum for him to best honestly

If he could he’d rather spend all of his time in your arms humming your smell getting warmth against you. But he can’t, so he is going to appreciate every occasion he got to get you close to him.

Since you’re his significant other Kazutora will be extra protector when it came to you, not afraid of threatening anyone that might be a bother to you.

Also he is jealous, he knows he shouldn’t feel like this especially since you’re always giving so much love and attention. But he can’t help but feel insecure, he knows what he is capable of, he knows his past, he knows what he has done, he is not perfect and certainly does not deserve love coming from such a piece of heaven like you. Yeah there would be time when Kazutora might be sad, feel down, and even though he’ll work on it so you won’t see it (afraid that you might be disappointed and will leave him) but you can tell that he is not feeling well.

Please, hold him tightly, tell him you love him, reminds him of much you cared about him, show him that there is no reason for him to be afraid. He just needs reassurance that you are here for good and that one day he wouldn’t wake up without you by side.

I just feel like he loves sleeping next to you, just the thought of sharing the same bed as him and getting the chance of waking up with you next to him is just his definition of heaven.

I also feel like is a tease, not on Mikey’s level, but I feel like sometimes out of nowhere Kazu will tickle you or whispering you something just to get to see your face turning red and then chuckle.

He is also the type to always give you his sweatshirt/coat, you don’t even need to be cold, if he noticed that you had been looking at his cloth or if you just compliment it boom its around your shoulder. It can be a way to show his possessiveness, like everyone would know that you belong to him who knows ? At least you won’t be cold.

He also the type to lay down on your bed and look at you with a loving smile, whether you were sleeping or not he doesn’t stop him from slightly stroking your cheeks bone, your cheek or even your lips loving the feeling of his hand/finger on your skin. It’s so smooth and soft he just can’t help.

Sometimes especially when he is sleepy, he will whisper things into your ear, kiss your all over your face.

A sucker for worshiping (do it for himself too)

Also he is not afraid to tell you he loves you, he might be not the first one to confess but once he knows that you love him. « I love you y/n » would be the first thing you will hear while waking up also the last thing before sleeping.

I think he might like the thought of you styling his hair even if all you’ve done was putting some cute clips on his hair he likes it and will even let you take picture. He is a sucker for your smile

Buy him jewelry and he will never take them off especially ring or necklace he just loves seeing you marking your territory.

As I stated before he is probably the type to overthinking a lot, like one day if you didn’t give the smile you used to give him, he is 100% you’ll dump him at the end of the day. Sometimes it’s not as bad as that, like you called him by his last name to tease him, he’ll just pout at you and then give you kiss all over your and won’t stop until you called him either by his name or by a nickname. But yes sometimes if you’re acting a little bit too cold to him he’ll think that your relationship is over, and will start to panic no knowing what to do to keep you by his side.

That’s the think with Kazutora he loves you more than he loves himself so he knows as a fact that he will be lost without you (not the only one to be honest but that’s for another headcanon)

So obviously you’ll need to be careful but since you’re still a human keep in mind to check him after if you’ve done something that let him think you guys were over.

Also, I can picture him to sometimes disappear. Like no one know where he is, not even you. He never left for too long (worst case : he leaves for a day), but sometimes he feels like he needs to be alone, like really alone. So he isolated himself for everyone, no one will know where he left, what he has done. But when he came back he always got that peaceful smile, the one where is eyes got nothing but regrets in them.

You feel like he spent his time in front of Baji ans Shinichiro’s grave, cause even years after this incident he couldn’t forgive himself for what he’s done to them. He can’t forgive him. Since he is lucky to be alive, sometimes he needs to see them in order to give him some strength in order to stay alive.

All the time when he is zoning out, you know he is thinking about all the bad things he has done to the people he cares the most, and even though he is working hard to be a better person what was done can’t be undone. Again hold his hand, stroke his hair do whatever you can to help him staying safe and not falling into his old demons.

Protect him at all cost.

Tag : @kshira

#tokyo revengers #tr #kazutora hanemiya #kazutora x reader #kazutora hanemiya x reader #tokyo revengers x reader #tr kazutora #Tokyo Revengers headcanon #Kazutora headcanon #Kazutora hanemiya headcanon #Kazutora smut #Tokyo Revengers smut #Kazutora x you #Kazutora hanemiya x you

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serendipitous-magic · 4 years ago

Note

What is your writing advice for young people who want to write fanfiction and original stories in the near future?

If this is just Way Too Much, skip to the end (#16). My most important piece of advice is there. I also happen to think #5 is pretty good.

-_-_-_-

1) Literally just write. Write whatever you want, and do a lot of it.

_-_

2) You don’t have to post everything. In fact you don’t have to post anything. You can, don’t get me wrong, but it can be intimidating to sit down and think “I will now write something that other people will see and read and judge with their eyeballs.” Because that’s probably gonna lead to nerves and writer's block. Just write down the ideas that you have, the things you want to write, whatever’s in your brain that you want to explore and expand upon and make into something. And then if you want to, share it. Or don’t share it. I have plenty of half-baked ideas and documents and random story chapters and shit hidden away on my Google Drive that will never see the light of day, for a whole number of reasons. I wanted to write it but it wasn’t ~Spicy~ enough to warrant posting, or it’s only like an eighth of a good idea, or it’s like one scene with no story around it, or it’s just something incredibly self-indulgent I just wanted to write for my own enjoyment.

Point being, don’t write for other people. Don’t write so that other people can read it; write what you want, write for yourself, and then if you want to share it, do.

_-_

3) You can pretty much ignore any and all of these for fanfiction. In fact, you can ignore pretty much any rules or guidelines you want for fanfiction. Fanfic is a sandbox. You don’t have to be a “professional writer” to post fic. No one expects you to be Stephen King or Margaret Atwood. Fanfic is just for playing in a fandom and having fun. If you wanna write a 50 chapter slow burn with very little plot aside from the OTP slowly getting to know each other, and no real stakes or central conflict, I guarantee people would read that. Really, fanfiction is the Old West of writing: lawless, wild, unpredictable, and free.

However, here are the rules you must follow:

-Separate your paragraphs. (I’m sure you know this already, but I’m gonna say it anyway just in case.) Do not post one big block of text. Make a paragraph break when someone new is talking, when the characters are in a new place, when a new event occurs that changes the scene, when a chunk of time has passed, and when there’s a major change in subject.

-I know it’s obvious, but... grammar, punctuation, and capitalization. They exist to make writing easy for readers to read, and more people will read your stuff if they don’t have to stop and try to figure out what you meant.

-Use tags and labels, as is possible with whatever site you’re using. Especially if you include possibly triggering content in your story. Again, I know it’s obvious, but it’s common courtesy. Bonus: tagging the themes and content of your story helps readers find it and read it :)

-If possible, limit the use of all-caps and exclamation marks / question marks. 99% of the time, one ! or one ? will do. If you overload the page with a lot of all-caps and long rows of exclamation marks or question marks, it hampers readability.

... That’s literally all I can think of. And, like I said, it’s all pretty basic stuff. You were probably rolling your eyes like, “Uh, yeah, Gwen, I know.” But that’s literally it. You can pretty much do whatever you want in fanfic.

That being said, here’s my advice for both fanfiction and original work...

_-_

4) A quick and dirty rule for coming up with a plot, starting a story, keeping up pacing, or maintaining tension: figure out what dreams, desires, and goals are nearest and dearest to your main character’s heart (see #16). Then set up the main conflict to be directly in opposition to that goal. It doesn’t have to be in a tangible way, though it could be. But, if your main character wants more than anything to reach the ships on the southern coast of your world and sail to a new life, make sure the main conflict immediately prevents them from doing that - in fact, make sure to send them north. If your main character just wants to keep their loved ones safe, kidnap the loved ones. If your main character just wants to date their best-friend-turned-crush, make sure they think they have no chance - or, make them cocky about it, and make sure it makes Person B determined not to ever like them. You get it. Figure out what your character most wants, and then keep them from having that. Boom - your conflict now ties in with your character's motivation. It's like instant yeast for plots.

_-_

5) If you’re anything like me, you want your first draft to be Good, despite all that advice about how the first draft doesn’t have to be good and it’s just to get words on the page, yadda yadda. And if you’re somewhat of a perfectionist (like myself), it’s easy to get stuck looking at a blank page because you don’t have The Perfect Words, and you want what you write to be Good the first time.

Here’s how I cheat that:

Instead of trying to write a Good First Draft from a blank page, hit the enter key a few times, skip a little down on the page, change your ink to red (or blue, or whatever - just something immediately identifiable as Not Black) and just thought vomit. Write whatever the hell you’re thinking, exactly as you think it. Don’t worry about it being readable, don’t worry about narrative flow for now, don’t worry about covering all the details, don’t worry about anything except either a) getting all the details of your idea out onto the page, whether that’s a lot or whether it’s just a sentence or two, or b) if you don’t have an idea yet, finding your way there.

Because this method is also very good for finding your way to ideas when you’re stuck in writer’s block.

Because of how human brains work, getting this stuff out onto the page - in all its messy, stream-of-consciousness glory - will likely spark more thoughts. As you write your original idea about the scene, it’ll likely spark more ideas. Creation begets creation. If you just start thought-vomiting your ideas onto the page, chances are you’ll think of more things as you go, and you’ll start filling out description or dialogue or tone or action or whatever, and pretty soon the scene starts writing itself.

Not sure where you’re going with the scene or which ideas you wanna use? Use a lot of ambivalent language in your “thought-vomit draft.” My pre-writing notes are chock-full of the words “maybe,” “perhaps,” and the phrases, “At some point...” and “...or something like that.” In this way, I don’t tie myself down to one idea; it’s just an idea, and I’m keeping it on the page in case I use it, but I might chuck it in the trash or change it or whatever.

And then, once your ideas for the scene (or story, or chapter, or whatever) are on the page, then go back to the top and start translating them into a “real” first draft. Use black ink, and start copy-pasting chunks of the thought-vomit up into the top part of the document and translating them into Draft 1. Separate out paragraphs where paragraph breaks should be. Add the correct punctuation and whatnot. Change “describe the lobby here - include potted plants, fancy carpet, blood stain, etc.” into an actual description of the lobby. Flesh it out, or condense, or whatever it needs. And if you’re still stuck, change back to red ink and ramble some more until you find a path that feels right, then plug that in. This keeps you from looking at a blank page, and it allows you to generate a kind of Draft 0.5, somewhere between a plan and a first draft.

You don’t have to use every idea. Like I said, jot down whatever comes to mind, put a “maybe” before or after it, and keep working. If the idea grabs you and you wanna keep expanding on it and exploring it, cool. If you just wanna jot it down so you don’t forget it and then move on, also cool. Red-ink draft / “thought-vomit draft” is your time to jump around in the timeline, add or finesse details at whatever point your brain moves to, etc. Don’t try to do it exactly in story order, because you will get tangential thoughts and ideas, and you will not remember to write them down five pages later when you finally get to taking notes on that scene. Trust me. On that note...

_-_

6) Write everything down the moment you think of it. Seriously.

“I’ll remember it when I get around to writing that scene in a couple days / weeks / months (/years).”

You won’t.

Write it down.

Phone, journal, google docs - hell, my family regularly laughs at me for grabbing a napkin during dinner and scribbling thoughts down alongside pasta sauce stains.

And then, once you have it written down somewhere...

_-_

7) Consolidate your writing ideas in one place.

Maybe this isn’t really your style, and that’s totally chill.

Buuuut, if you’re Type-A like me - or if you tend to be somewhat unorganized and you know you’ll lose track of your writing notes if they’re scattered across multiple notebooks, journals, napkins, phone notes, etc. - having one consolidated document of notes is a life saver. I keep mine on Google Docs so I can access it, add to it, and look through it for inspiration anywhere at any time. When I have one of those Shower Thoughts that I jot down on my phone or on a napkin during dinner, I set myself a reminder on my phone to type it up in my Story Ideas document later.

(Or, if the idea I had was for a story of mine that I’ve already started planning / drafting / whatever, I put it in the document for that story instead of the Big Random Story Ideas doc. You get it.)

_-_

8) Have other ways to collect and save writing ideas, besides just writing stuff down. If you like Pinterest, make pinterest boards of your characters or stories or settings or whatever. If you’re big into playlists, make a playlist for your character / setting / story / etc. Or both. Or something else. I’m not good at drawing, but maybe you are, and maybe you like to draw your ideas. Whatever form it takes, having another way to save ideas and think about your stories is invaluable.

_-_

9) Some writers can just start writing with no idea where the story is going, and they just kind of figure it out as they go. I envy those writers. And I do that sometimes for fanfiction, where the stakes are somewhat lower and the audience is reading more for scene-to-scene enjoyment (and to see their OTP kiss) than for a Driving And Compelling Narrative.

But here’s the thing: especially if you’re just kind of starting out, writing without some sort of plan is really, really hard, and will likely lead you into a slow, meandering narrative that will likely frustrate you.

Even if you think you’re someone that just can’t write with a plan (and again, I have the highest respect for pansters out there - I don’t know how you do it, you crazy bastards, but you keep doing you) - even if you think “I can’t work with plans, they’re too prescriptive, I just want to write and see what happens -”

Try at least making the most skeletal of plans.

Even if you have no clue what 90% of the story is, yet. That’s fine. But you need to have some idea of what you’re building to, even if that’s nothing more specific than a feeling, or a turning point for your character. Even if your entire plan for everything beyond Chapter 1 is, “At some point, Charlie needs to realize that Ed was lying to her.”

This is where those Draft 0.5 notes come in handy. Because, more than likely, working on your current scene that way will spark ideas for later scenes, which you can put down at the bottom of the document and save for when they become relevant. In my experience, the line between planning ahead and making a Draft 0.5 is exceptionally thin. One can quickly turn into the other.

If you’re really, really resistant to the idea of planning ahead, that’s okay. It’s not everybody’s style. But for the love of all that is holy, write down your ideas for future scenes, even if you’re a person that doesn’t like to plan and writes only in story order, because you will not remember that idea once you get to that scene.

_-_

10) You don’t have to write in order.

Here’s the thing: I’m a person that can only do my Draft 1 in story order (meaning, chronological order). I just have to be in that flow; I need to write in story order for me to best channel where the character is at from scene to scene, both narratively and emotionally.

But my Thought Vomit Draft is another thing entirely. By using the brain hack of putting my notes in red (or another color, it doesn’t matter) and going down to the bottom of the document / page and taking notes there, and then integrating them into whatever plan I have, and then translating them into Draft 1 once I get there in the story - by doing that, I can get my good ideas onto the page (and expound upon them and let my muse carry me and ride that momentum while I’m in the moment of inspiration) without writing out of order.

Maybe that’s just me. But if you’re a person who really prefers to write in story order, that could be hugely helpful to you. It is to me.

_-_

11) Emotion and motivation will do more for your story than technicalities of plot.

If your characters really care about something, and their journey through the (shaky or weak) plot is emotionally engaging, it will be a much more compelling story than a story with a “perfect” plot and unrelatable or unmotivated characters.

If your characters care about what they’re doing, and it means something to them, and their goals and actions are driven by dreams or fears or emotions that are integral to who they are, your audience will care too. If you have a perfectly crafted plot that hits all the right beats and has high stakes and fast pacing and drama - but your characters don’t connect with what’s happening in a way that’s deeply meaningful or emotional for them? You’re gonna have a hard time engaging readers.

When in doubt, prioritize character emotion and motivation over plot. Emotion is what drives story.

This power is highly exploitable. (Just look at pulp novels and shitty but entertaining movies.) You can even use it to glaze over plot holes or reinvigorate a limp narrative. Use it that way sparingly, though. It’s a band-aid, not a surgery.

_-_

12) Evil villains are hard to write - mostly because there are very few truly evil people in the world. (There are a few. Billionaires and several big name politicians come to mind.) But by and large, there aren’t that many evil people. There are plenty of bad people, but bad people have some good in them, somewhere in there. Trying to write an evil villain is hard, because they often turn very cartoony.

Here’s a tip: it’s much easier to write antagonists who aren’t evil. Even if they’re bad people. Of course, there’s no reason you can’t write a villain that’s just truly evil - a serial killer, or an abuser, or a billionaire, or someone who legit just wants to hurt people or blow up the earth or stay in control of an oppressed population, or whatever. But chances are, it’s gonna be really hard to make them feel real, and even harder to create a plot around them that doesn’t feel forced or contrived.

Instead, try writing an antagonist / villain whose motivations and goals directly clash with your protagonist’s - but not because they want to take over the world or see people suffer. Write an antagonist who’s chaotic good, but whose perception of the situation is completely opposite from your hero’s. Write an antagonist whose only desire is to save people, and who will do anything to achieve that goal - anything. Write an antagonist who believes in the letter of the law, and will hinder and oppose the hero’s methods even if they agree with the hero’s motivation. Write an antagonist who got in way over their head and did some things they regret, and now they don’t know how to get out, and they’re doing their best but whatever they set in motion is too powerful for them to stop now.

Write villains who are human. Write a killer who thought they were doing the right thing by taking their victim out of the equation, who vomits at the sight of the body and sobs over the grave they dig. Write a government leader who truly believes she’s doing what’s best for her people in the long-term, even if it might hurt them in the short term, and is willing to endure the hatred and belligerence of the masses if it means securing what she thinks is a better future for her people. Write a teenage bully that thinks they’re the one being picked on by the world, and they’re just fighting back, standing their ground. Write a scientist who will break any code of ethics and hurt anyone he needs to - in order to bring back his baby sister from the grave, because he promised her he’d protect her and he failed. Write an antagonist who is selfish and self-centered and capricious - because in order to survive they had to look out for Number One, and that habit ain’t about to break anytime soon.

Write villains who aren’t even villains. Write antagonists who oppose the hero because of moral differences. Write antagonists who are trying to do the right thing. Write antagonists who treat the heroes with kindness and dignity and respect and gentleness.

They don’t have to be good. They don’t have to be Misunderstood Sweethearts who “deserve” a redemption arc. They can be cruel and nasty and dismissive and callous and violent and etc. etc.

Just hesitate before you make them Evil-with-a-capital-E. Because evil is hard to write, and honestly, boring to read. Flawed human beings with goals and motivations that directly oppose the main characters’ are much easier to write and much more interesting to read.

Ask why. Why is your villain trying to take over the world? What does that even mean? Are they trying to create a Star-Trek-like post-capitalism utopia, but they know that won’t happen in a million lifetimes, so they’re trying to do it by force? Are they actually super in favor of human rights, but they got very impatient waiting for the world to do anything about poverty and war, so they decided to take it into their own hands? Are they determined to fix the world - no matter the cost? Are they terrified and overwhelmed, but committed to see it through to the end? Or - maybe they’re just doing it on a dare. Maybe they don’t really give a shit about world domination, they were just a mediocre rich white guy who decided to fuck around and find out, and now he’s kind of curious how far he can take this thing. And now he’s kind of an internationally-wanted criminal, so he’s kind of stuck living on his hidden private island in his multi-billion dollar secret base, strapping lasers to sharks’ heads for the hell of it. Gross, selfish, uncaring, and dangerous? For sure. Evil? Depends on your definition. See, now we’re getting somewhere.

_-_

13) It’s tempting to let the plot control the characters. It’s easy to drop your characters into a situation and see how they react. But here’s the thing: that doesn’t drive plot. In fact, it bogs down pacing. Instead, try to build you plot off of your characters’ actions and decisions. Let your character build their own situation. Not to say it should go they way they wanted it to go; in fact, usually, their grand plans should go to hell very quickly. But having the characters take action and make decisions, and letting the plot develop based on that, is much easier to make compelling than making a rigid series of events and then trying to herd your characters into them.

_-_

14) Having trouble justifying a character’s actions? Consider having them make the opposite decision, or having them approach the situation in a different way. For example: you need your character to go meet the bad guy, for plot reasons, even though there’s no way it’s not a trap. If the character goes, readers are gonna be groaning with their head in their hands, because c’mon man, that was really fucking stupid. But he’s gotta go, because the plot needs that. Two ways you might handle this: a) He knows it’s probably a trap. He decides not to go. The plot conspires to get him near the villain anyway. Or, b) He knows it’s a trap. But he needs to go, for (insert reasons here). So, he approaches it in an unexpected way. He brings backup, recruiting a side character we met earlier in the story. Or he arrives on the back of a dragon, because ain’t nobody gonna fuck with a dude on a dragon. Or he goes - early, and ambushes the villain. It may work, it may not. He may get himself kidnapped anyway. But it moves the plot along without having Stupid Hero Syndrome.

_-_

15) This is a legit piece of advice: if all of this sounds overwhelming, literally just ignore it and write what you want. For real. Writing should be fun, and every single writer operates differently. If you’re sitting here like “I’m getting stressed just reading this,” just flip me a good-natured bird and get on with your life. I promise I won’t take it personally. Same goes for literally any other writing advice you see. Lots of rules and guidelines can very quickly make anything thoroughly un-fun. Just write. If you’re passionate about it and you do it for long enough, you’ll start figuring out the tips and tricks on your own.

_-_

16) Here’s the best piece of advice I can give you: know your characters. More importantly, know what’s important to them. Build their personality and decisions off of that, and build your plot off of their decisions.

I see a lot of character building sheets that ask a shit-ton of questions like “What’s their most prized possession?” “Do they like their family?” “What’s their favorite food?”

And while these are good questions, my problem with this type of character building is that if you start there, with the little stuff, you’re building on nothing. IMO, to make a truly strong character (not strong like Inner Strength, strong like effective), you need a strong foundation.

Here are the things you must know about your character:

a) What are their greatest fears / deepest insecurities? And I don’t mean “wasps” or “heights.” I mean the deep shit. I mean fears like “living a meaningless life,” or “turning out just like their parents,” or “that no one will ever love them,” or “being powerless.” You may say, “But they’re really scared of wasps! They fall into a wasp nest when they were little and got stung so much they almost died!” Great! That’s a fantastic bit of backstory. They should absolutely be afraid of wasps, and that should absolutely be an impediment later in the story. But dig deeper. What about that event actually scarred them? Was it the helplessness? Stumbling around, swatting at the air, not being able to do a single thing to stop what was happening to them? Was it that they were alone, and no matter how loud they screamed, no one was coming? Was it the bodily horror of feeling themself turn into an inhuman creature as they swelled up from the stings, unable to move their fingers or face normally anymore?

And don’t forget insecurities, because those factor in, too. Are they deeply insecure about their identity? Do they believe, deep down, that they’re ugly? Did they grow up poor and they’ve always been really touchy about that? Why? Dig deep. Figure out what really, really bothers them.

b) What are their hopes and dreams? What do they truly want out of life? What do they consider the most valuable to their experience here in this thing called life? Is it the freedom to forge their own path and be independent? Is it the approval of their family or peers? Is it a home? Is it knowledge, or understanding? Spiritual fulfillment? Is it deeply important to them that they contribute to their community, or protect those they love? What do they need in order to feel truly and deeply fulfilled in life?

Figure out those two things (each one encompasses several things, btw, you don’t have to stop at just one for each), and then use that to inform how they behave and the types of decisions they make within the story.

It also informs character behavior and personality.

Let’s say we have a character who’s afraid of helplessness. They’re probably gonna be the person that always wants to do something, try something, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. They’d despise just sitting and waiting, probably, because it makes them feel powerless. They might even be the person that makes rash decisions and acts impulsively and puts themself in danger unnecessarily, because in their mind it’s better than being at the mercy of fate. This is one way you could use a character’s personality to inform their decisions, which in turn helps to inform plot.

Or, let’s say we have a character whose greatest fear is being left behind or forgotten. We may have a chatterbox on our hands. They might be obnoxious. They might love the spotlight, constantly vying for attention no matter the situation, because deep down they’re so afraid that they’d be forgotten otherwise. Or, it may go the opposite way. They may be so afraid of people leaving them that they’re terrified of bothering people. They don’t want to do anything that could annoy people, anything that might give people a reason to leave them. They might be exceedingly polite, quiet, accommodating. A push-over, really.

These are two nearly opposite types of personalities, both stemming from the same core fear/insecurity. You can go a lot of different ways with it. But if you build on that strong foundation, you’ll have a strong character, and a stronger plot.

Likewise, the structure of your story can and should inform the design of these character traits. If you need your characters to team up near the end, it may be impactful if you give your main character a deep fear of commitment, an insecurity about being unwanted or left behind, and make them highly value independence and freedom. That could make their team-up for the final battle very meaningful. Conversely, you can use your character’s deepest fears and desires to help design the plot. Is your character deeply insecure about voicing their opinions or taking a stand, because of trauma they faced in the past? Make them face that. Build that into the climactic third act. Give them the big inspirational speech where they stand up and talk about what they believe to be important, what they think the group should do. And then design that character arc to run through the story, giving you more handholds and stepping stones, more pieces of foundation on which to design the plot.

In this way, character should inform story as much as story informs character. It’s a feedback loop.

Bonus: if you build your character and your plot off of each other in this way, it automatically starts to build in the foundations of that emotional investment I mentioned earlier. If your character’s decisions are based on what they most want and do not want in life, you basically have your character motivation and stakes pre-built.

Note: you need to know these things about your villain, too.

-_-_-

I’m genuinely sorry about the length of this, lmao. But you did ask.

Best of luck!

Edit: I forgot an important one:

17) Start when the scene starts and end when the scene ends.

What do I mean by that?

If your notes say “Danny asks Nicole out after school and majorly flubs it,” start the scene when Danny approaches Nicole after school. Better yet, cold-open the scene on “I was wondering if, you know, you’d wanna. You know. Hang out some time?”

Don’t start that morning when Danny goes to school, unless you’re gonna cover the school day in like one or two sentences. Don’t spend whole paragraphs going through the school day, unless it’s to cover other plot points first (in which case apply these same guidelines there), or if the paragraphs are there for a specific reason, like to illustrate how stressed he is and how it seems like every little thing is going wrong. Even then, trim the fat as much as possible. Expounding and describing everything Moment-to-moment is for the meat of the scenes, not the leading-up-to and coming-away-from.

Here’s my rule of thumb: study how and when movies cut from scene to scene. Movies have exceptionally strict, limited time for storytelling; they’re excellent examples of starting a scene when the plot point starts and ending when it’s over. If you can’t picture a movie showing everything you showed, start the scene later and end it earlier.

#asks #anon #writing advice #writing tips #writing #fanfic writing #fanfiction #character creation #plot development #character development #my advice #original writing

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fizzyxcustard · 3 years ago

Text

Covert Eyes (13)

Fandom: Spooks

Pairings: Lucas North x OC (Amy Holland)

Warnings: Stalking behaviour, anxiety, language, sexual references, smut, angst, heartbreak.

Summary: Lucas takes notice of a young woman, Amy, but his obsession and want to get to know her begin to spiral out of control. Lucas and Amy’s domestic bliss hits a plateau, but then plummets back when someone from Lucas’ past decides to crash the party.

Official soundtrack list: here

Comments/Notes: If you wish to be tagged in any of my tag lists for fics or characters, please let me know, and stipulate what you want to be tagged in. The above image was located on Pinterest, with no link back to the original source.

I also wanted to stipulate, and I don’t mean to be rude, but if you ask to be on my tag list and never interact (even if just a ‘like’ on the chapters I post) then I will remove you after a few weeks. Please try and show some kind of engagement, or ask to be taken off my list if you’re no longer interested.

And a quick comment on the timeline of this fic. The character of Sarah has been brought back just to add some spice and drama, and obviously, Ros is still on the team. I'm messing with plots and timelines. Now, onto the fic. :)

Lucas tried his damned hardest for the next week to track down the bitch that had blown apart his relationship with Amy. Sarah Caulfield was alive. How, he didn’t quite know. The last time he had seen her and she was lying in a hospital bed with a bullet in her forehead. This bitch had ways and means of covering her tracks and making events look like an accident. She could easily pull the wool over anyone’s eyes and use smoke and mirrors to meet her own ends. The bitch would pay. One way or another.

Work was the biggest struggle. Operations were underway, both out in the field and desk based. He was shit at both. All he could do was fuel his anger into finding Sarah, and then mope on Facebook, watching Amy’s movements. But she was quiet still. Lucas hadn’t dared go back to their café; it would have torn him apart all over again seeing her. Instead, he watched from a distance. Online. Conducting his own personal surveillance on her flat from across the street. She always looked down-beaten. This sudden ending of their relationship was obviously breaking her too.

Sarah had covered her tracks well. And after exactly seven days of being without Amy, Lucas picked up his phone and called her. He held a bottle of lager in his hand in his feeble attempts to use alcohol as a way of soothing his pain. It just made it worse.

Her soft voice came down the phoneline and wrapped around him like a warm blanket of love. “Lucas, please…”

“I just needed to hear you,” he begged. “I miss you.”

She sniffed. Her voice quivered. “I…can’t….please don’t make this any harder…than it has to be.”

“The truth is, Aim, I thought Sarah was dead,” Lucas admitted. “I did, or at least thought I did, love her at some point. She must have faked her death somehow. I’m telling you the truth. Please believe me, Aim. Please. I can’t keep doing this.” Lucas burst into tears. “I…have no idea what her game is. I just know that I love you more than anything….and it’s killing me being apart from you. Can I come and see you?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Amy sobbed. “Everything is still too painful, and we’ll do things in the moment…”

“That’s all our relationship ever was!” Lucas exclaimed. “Was acting in the moment. It’s why we were so good together. Please, let me come and see you. I won’t stay long.”

Amy sighed. Her sigh rolled down the phoneline, again, wrapping around Lucas. “Not long, please.”

Lucas literally sprinted down the street and was at Amy’s door within ten minutes of their phone call ending. And as he finally saw her in person, he couldn’t help but feel the tears begin to well in his eyes again. He lifted his hand, his unconscious mind pushing him to cup her cheek, but his rational thought stopped him.

Amy stepped aside and let him in. A rolling wave of love and need crashed over her, and she suddenly felt weak. She looked up at him, those steel blue eyes full of tears. His brow was furrowed in sorrow and regret. Surely, she thought, if their relationship had all been a complete scam, there was no way he would react like this. No actor had the talent to convey the sheer agony on Lucas’ face.

Both of them remained locked in place, their gazes glued to each other. Amy could feel her breathing speed up, and Lucas’ gaze seemed to be growing more intense. Lucas stepped towards her, closing the gap between them. He was still looking down at her, and then she reached out, placing the palm of her hand on his chest. Lucas closed his eyes and kissed her head, inhaling the sweet scent of her vanilla shampoo.

“How can this not be real?” she whispered. Her green gaze lifted from his chest and she looked at him. The electricity between them both was like intense static. It was as if the atmosphere was building, like when a thunderstorm brewed. Power becoming tangible in the air.

“You make me the happiest I’ve ever been, so when you told me to go and be happy, I knew there was only one way that I’d ever feel that.”

Amy closed her eyes at the sound of his voice. Deep and baritone. It wrapped around her like silk, suspending her in a cocoon of arousal. Next to his eyes, Lucas’ voice had been one of the first things that she had immediately recognised she was attracted to. It never failed to have this effect on her: weaken her defences, rendering it all to a pile of ash.

“Being with you was the only time the nightmares stopped,” Lucas said, his voice soft.

“You followed me again, didn’t you? While we were apart,” Amy asked.

“I needed to know that you were okay,” Lucas replied.

“Please, you need to stop this. Promise me now, no matter what happens that you’ll stop keep following me. It’s not normal,” Amy exclaimed. She backed off from him, turning to the side. She sighed and then looked back up at him. “I told you that I’m not strong enough to deal with this, Lucas. I’m under constant surveillance no matter which way I turn. If I’m with you, then she’s watching me. If I’m not with you, then you’re watching me.”

Lucas stepped closer. “Please,” he began to beg. “Don’t spoil this moment.”

“No,” Amy demanded, her back straightening. “Stop following me. Don’t try and distract the conversation away from what needs to be said. What you’re doing is stalking.”

“I’m protecting you…”

“No, you’re not. You’re watching me and following me to satisfy your own needs. It’s nothing to do with protecting me.”

“What about Jonathan? All I’ve done is protect you.” Lucas’ eyes were now wide with anger, the sadness having seeped out of their blue depths very quickly, leaving a darkness in its wake.

“Why did I have to be drawn into all this?” Amy hissed. She threw her head back and looked up at the ceiling for a couple of seconds. “I want something normal, not to be watched constantly. I want to know that my boyfriend won’t be taking his life into his own hands every time he walks out of the front door and goes to work.”

“You’re asking me to quit?”

“No, because I know how much your job means to you. I accepted it as part of you, and I’ve tried so hard. What we have is not normal, Lucas. You’d be a liar to even state otherwise.”

“Does every relationship have to be normal? As long as there’s love, does it matter?”

Amy looked at him and inwardly asked herself if she could forgive his behaviour. She had already forgiven him once for lying about his true profession and for admitting to following her. But the stalking had happened again. Would it ever stop? “Promise me something right now.”

“Yeah…” he said softly.

“Promise me that you will stop following me, both physically and online. It’s worrying me,” Amy admitted. “I need time to comprehend all this, and if I find that you’ve been following me again, then I want nothing more to do with you. That will be it for us, in any sense. And I will go to the police.”

Amy sighed again and looked away, feeling incredible guilt rise in her gut. She was keeping this man on edge, when all he wanted was to be back with her. The whole issue of Sarah making her believe the relationship was a scam seemed to have burned away now; seeing Lucas’ reaction had sealed it in her mind that he was being honest. Surely no one could be that good an actor. Could some of the greats like Robert De Niro have pulled that off in a believable performance?

The two of them sat down at Amy’s kitchen table and let silence fall upon them for the first minute.

Lucas watched her.

Amy noticed his hand seemed to be edging closer to hers, and the self-control just to stop herself jumping into his arms was torture. “What if Sarah visits me again? Is she just a scorned lover of yours?” Amy asked, finally opening the silence and locking her gaze back with Lucas’.

“I honestly have no idea what her game is. I believed she was dead and moved on; maybe she hasn’t. Or she’s trying to pull me back into some game of hers. I don’t care about her. She can’t hurt you.”

“Oh, she can fake her death and track me down, but can’t hurt me? Lucas I believe that anything is possible after what you’ve told me. Don’t underestimate her. You knew her better than me. Surely she’s got associates.”

“There’s no way she would have gone back to working with the CIA after we uncovered the fact she killed her boss.”

“And you still slept with this woman even after she’d murdered her boss?”

Lucas swallowed hard and looked at Amy. “Look, we do stupid things when we love someone. I was also trying to get intel out of her. Can we not talk about her any more, please?”

The emotions surging around Amy’s whole body were causing a bout of nausea to set in. Tension was sitting in her temples, and she felt like dropping into her bed for an eternity, with no one to bother her or hurt her again. She got up from the table and walked to the window, looking out at the pinks and oranges that were glowing in the sky as the sun set. Amy crossed her arms and closed her eyes for a second, taking a deep breath to try and stop her whole being from going into a meltdown. In her mind she prayed for some kind of peace.

“What are you thinking about?” Lucas asked softly.

“Are you going to try and stalk my thoughts, too?” Amy scoffed. Tears fell down her cheeks again as the pain became too much to bear anymore.

Lucas got up from his seat and approached her, taking her into his arms. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For everything I’ve put you through.”

“It’s okay…please,” Amy said, pulling out of Lucas’ embrace to dry her tears with her hand.

“No, it’s not okay. What do I need to do?”

The desperation in Lucas’ voice made the guilt rise even higher in Amy’s chest. “I…I know that you want me to throw my arms around you and tell you that everything is fine and we’ll be together forever, but I can’t do that. I know what it’s like to be at that end of a break up, and all you want is for the person to take you back. I get it. But try and understand how I’m feeling, Lucas. What’s done is done in regards to you not telling me about your job in the beginning. That’s water under the bridge as far as I’m concerned. But the baggage with Sarah that you’re bringing into any kind of relationship, and the stalking behaviour. What am I supposed to do? You want me to lie down and just take it all? Be a doormat to all the of shit that comes with your job, and be at the centre of your surveillance.”

“Aim, I already promised I wouldn’t do it again. I know what I was doing was wrong,” Lucas hissed. Frustration was pouring out of his tone now.

“Okay, we’re still left with Sarah. She’s an ex-CIA agent. This woman is bound to have her ways and means. If she sees that we’re back together, she’s going to hound me again. For whatever reason that she wants us apart, she’s got a lot more resources than the average woman. What if she’s got an alias and that’s the reason you can’t find her? Was Sarah even her name to begin with?”

Lucas couldn’t help but smile. “You’d be perfect working with us.”

“Hardly,” Amy scoffed, her sarcasm escaping again. “I think I’ve had enough of the security services, thanks.”

“And you don’t think you’re strong?”

“I’m not.”

“Hmmm,” Lucas began, a smirk plastered on his face. “Right, you argue with me and tell me all the reasons that we shouldn’t be together, even though you’ve stated to me multiple times that you’ve never truly been in love before meeting me. Your ex, a guy who you claimed was just like your best friend, was someone who you fought to stay with. You were scared of being single, being alone. Yet here you are, ready to see me disappear, a man who you say you love, and all for the sake of principle. You’ve got the guts to stand up against what you believe, whereas before you didn’t.”

Amy couldn’t help but chuckle wryly. “What the hell are you? Sigmund Freud?”

“No, I’m just saying what I see. You’re stronger than you think, Aim.”

With a sigh, Amy began to speak. It took every ounce of the minuscule drops of strength inside her to be assertive and not let her emotions drown her in love. “Please, can we just take this slow? There’s a lot that I need to get straight in my head before we do anything else.”

“What are you saying?”

“Can we just stay friends for now?”

Lucas sighed and averted his gaze to the floor.

“I know it’s not what you want to hear. And this is your chance to walk away now if you don’t want that.”

“I can’t walk away…” Lucas said softly, his voice breaking. “I…I need you in my life. And if it means that we just remain friends, then I can handle that. It’s going to hurt, but I’m willing to do it for you.”

***

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Richard Armitage tag list: @cryptichobbit @eunoiaastralwings

#Lucas North #Spooks #MI-5 #Lucas North x OC #Fanfiction #Richard Armitage

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buckybarnesdiaries · 4 years ago

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secrets

bucky barnes x reader. ⎢ masterlist.

request made by @homesicam: hi maria!! can I have prompt 15, feels mysterious and all and god bless bucky's soul (ofc) !! and thank you so much for your work !! ❤️

prompt: “Will be our secret”.

word count: 1.165 words.

warnings/tags: none. bucky feeling like a lost puppy trying to fit in.

author notes: none of my stories contain reader’s body descriptions to be inclusive.

Join the tag list here.

Like every time you came back from a mission, where you needed a little calm, you waited for the small hours to hit the clock. Walking out from your dorm, you led your feet through the hallways to downstairs. Crossing the huge large living room, you stepped to the back garden of the compound. As soon as you took off your house slippers, you continued along the grass, feeling the strands of grass beneath your toes tickling you. The sky was covered by shining stars all around and for a split second your mind went blank. There wasn’t any horror, any danger, any pain. The wounds and the scratches in your face and arms went to the background, as you closed your eyes to breathe the soft breeze fluttering your hair. You felt free.

Taking a seat on the grass, you put your knees against your chest and wrapped them with both arms. Sometimes you used to think about what made you so special to be part of the Avengers. You weren’t like Natasha, a professional spy. You weren’t like Tony, a genius. And of course, you weren’t a god, nor a witch, nor a supersoldier. Not even just a soldier like Sam. Of course, they were more than those skills. You were just an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. that survived its destruction and falling. It was inevitable to feel small when you joined them in their missions. Even so, it was better if any of them heard you talk about yourself like that, or they’d end up kicking your ass to be too humble and unfair with yourself and how much you train and work hard every single day. With no excuses.

“A broken heart is all that’s left, I’m still fixing all the cracks. Lost a couple of pieces when I carried it, carried it, carried it home…” Like a defense mechanism against your own hurtful thoughts, you started to sing with your eyes put on a starry night above your head.

A few days ago, you discovered that song and got really obsessed for some reason you didn’t know. It was like picking at the scab, thinking about your parents, about how much you missed them, about what they could be thinking about you. Would they feel proud? Would they feel scared?

“I’m afraid of all I am. My mind feels like a foreign land, silence ringing inside my head. Please, carry me… carry me… carry me home”.

“You sound like my mother”.

Those words raced your heart, more because of the surprise of someone else being there than for the confession. You couldn’t help but jump up from the floor, shaking the strands of grass from your clothes. Bucky was in front of you, a couple of steps away. He had his head slightly tilted to the right, squinting with some kind of confusion running through his mind. You crossed your arms on your chest a little ashamed, rubbing your nose with a side of your hand as you tried to hold back a tear.

Then, you dawn on and your brain reproduced his words again. For you, it meant a shock. You could count with the fingers of both hands the times you had shared a couple of words, maybe a small talk in a meeting before a mission. And you were sure it was the first time you two were alone. Bucky was pretty quiet, even shy you’d dare to say. After all the shit he lived in for many years, the fear of coming back to those dark days was still chasing him. Steve told you that he used to try and speak to anyone, to be normal, to be trusted. But after what he was forced to do, no one really trusted in him. And it wasn’t like you didn’t care about his past, because you’d be lying to yourself, but you were of those kinds of persons who thought that everybody deserves a second chance. If you didn’t give them anything to believe in, how would they be believers?

“Did she…?” You intoned slowly driven by curiosity, now that Bucky seemed interested in starting a conversation either way. But you didn’t want to sound disrespectful.

“She used to sing for my sister and me”. You watched him keep his hands inside the pockets of his sweatpants, coming closer to you as he noticed you weren’t afraid of him.

“My mom did it too”. You replied then, showing him a fleeting smile curving up your lips.

As soon as Bucky witnessed the sweet gesture from you and the way you were continuing the conversation, he felt relaxed. He felt welcomed from the first time he stepped into the compound. You waved a hand towards him, urging him to sit down as you went back to your seat on the grass. He joined you without hesitation, cheered up inside for making a new friend.

You lost track of time talking about everything and anything at the same time. Talking about your families, discovering he had a sister called Rebecca. Talking to you about the old good times where Steve and he were just a couple of punk wreak havoc all around Brooklyn. You couldn’t stop laughing, showing him how excited you were to know more about him and his adventures. You told him about the farm where you used to live and how you built something like a training camp to prepare yourself to join S.H.I.E.L.D. Bucky was fascinated by your determination and perseverance, comparing you to Steve when he wanted to join the army, before being Captain America.

Inevitably, you yawned when the sunset was about to happen, earning a soft nudge from the soldier. “C’mon, you should rest”.

“Yeah, I’m pretty dead… drawbacks of being only human”.

He stood up before you, helping you to get up from the ground. You walked indoors keeping silent, not knowing actually how to say goodbye. It was an awkward situation that barely lasted two seconds.

“Listen, about before… I’d appreciate it if you don’t say anyt—”.

“Sure”. Bucky interrupted you. The gesture of his face suddenly changed to a sad grimace with a feigned smile on his lips. “You don’t have to worry about”.

“Good! Uh… thank you. I bet Stark will bully me about the singing thing all the time. He can be a pain in the ass sometimes”. You couldn’t help but sigh with relief when his blue eyes, placed on his boots, were raised with a special shine on them. There, you understood what he thought about your uncompleted petition. “And about… you know, talking, I wouldn’t mind repeating it anytime else”.

“Only if you sing for me”. Bucky’s voice was like a soft breeze caressing your face, filled with hope and enthusiasm. You tilted your head, narrowing your eyes towards him. “Will be our secret”.

“Okay, deal”. You chuckled nodding. “Good night, Bucky”.

“Good night, (Y/N)”.

feedback is appreciated, please, leave a comment to let me know if you liked it.

and REBLOG!!! 🤍

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#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky x reader #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan x you #the winter soldier x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you

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kaitsawamura · 4 years ago

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baby mine, don’t you cry

Summary: A quiet early morning moment between Reader and Deku and their newborn baby.

Pairing: Pro Hero Deku x Reader and newborn daughter

Warnings: None!

Tags: Just sheer baby fever fluff inspired by the movie A Beautiful Day. Aged Up Izuku Midoriya, Dad! Deku.

Notes: Short and sweet, I hope y’all enjoy! Not my best but I couldn’t get this beautiful little scene out of my head. Picture is not mine, it’s from Pinterest. I will be changing it, just wanted to get this up right away 😅

Links: AO3

Of all the things Izuku Midoriya thought he’d be doing at twenty-eight, being married to the love of his life and learning how to care for a newborn baby girl was not one of them. But here he was, exhausted, letting out a long-winded sigh through his lips as the baby fussed from the crib. You were blacked out next to him, thank god. You needed your sleep. He supposed he needed his too, but he had told the agency that he would only be coming in on an emergency basis for a little while. They had heartily agreed; the world was crazy and Pro Heroes needed love (maybe especially) too. It was only right that he got to be with his family at this crucial point.

Deku blearily looked over at the clock on his nightstand; the dimmed blue numbers read 3:53 AM. He tried to remain quiet, hoping for a bit that maybe the baby would go back to sleep but the minutes ticked by and her crying only grew louder and more frenzied. He pulled the quilt back from his body and sat up, bending over to let out a little groan. Everything in his body protested. The three of you had not gotten a whole lot of sleep recently while everyone acclimated to the new schedule. He carded his fingers through the curls atop his head and very nearly laid back down.

But then the baby let out a particularly strong wail and he rose on creaking knees to go to her crib. Even in the waning moonlight that ghosted through the window, he could see how red her cheeks were and with a lurching in his chest, he grabbed for her. Scooping her up into his arms and holding her against his bare chest. He walked back and forth for a moment before realizing she wasn’t quite done crying.

The wooden floor of the hallway shifted under his feet; it was spring and early mornings were still cold. His toes were a little frozen so he wiggled them as he walked. He rocked the baby, swaying his hips back and forth making little shshing sounds as he did but still, it was no use. Great crocodile tears etched paths down her chubby little cheeks and she drew in great hiccuping breaths.

“Oh, little one, ssh. It’s all right. Daddy’s here.” He resigned himself to no more sleep until his wife woke up for her “shift”. The rocking chair sat in the corner by the living room window. It looked very enticing right now; he was already dead on his feet. He turned on the little lighthouse night light that sat on a bookshelf near the chair and when the light bulb flickered to life, it cast a barely-there glow that just encompassed the chair. He sat, making himself as comfortable as possible, and brought his newborn daughter to his chest. She had just eaten an hour and a half ago; based on what he had learned so far, she wouldn’t be hungry just yet.

He rocked and hummed and hummed and rocked. She was so little, so tiny and he absently wondered if it was because of his own big shoulders or if all babies were like this. Tiny but willing to take on the world. And that’s what she sounded like as her crying gradually faded to whimpers, and then tiny little baby groans that matched her small fingers and toes. That she would take on the world if she had to had something cracking in his chest as he identified with that feeling. She nestled her face into his chest and his eyes near brimmed with tears of his own.

His life was nothing short of crazy. He was a Pro Hero. A Pro Hero mentored by All Might no less. A Pro Hero who had not been born with a quirk. A hero who had been a nobody. As his mind slowly edged between waking and sleeping, he realized that sometimes he still felt like a nobody. But with an unimaginable warmth seeping into his body from where his little girl lay against him, his heart skipped a beat.

Because he also realized that a nobody couldn’t make such a precious somebody as the little one he was holding in his arms.

---

You startled awake, the headache that had been threatening to hit from earlier finally gripping at the back of your neck. You had been sure you had heard the baby fussing a little while ago but now all was quiet. Deku’s side of the bed was empty, a ghosting of his scent and warmth still lingering on the sheets when your fingers brushed across them.

You sat up, squinting your eyes against the pain in your neck and shoulders. Ibuprofen would fix that but that was all the way in the medicine cabinet in the kitchen. Which really wasn’t all that far away but certainly felt like it at the moment. Deku must have gotten the baby but as your eyes blinked away sleep, you could see he wasn’t in the room. He must have gone out to the living room.

The pain in your neck radiated down your back and into your lower hips and lack of sleep made it feel near impossible to actually sit up and get out of bed. But your curiosity was piqued and the aches in your body were nearly growling. It was just 5:30 in the morning and you could hear the faint melody of birds chirping outside. You probably weren’t going to get any more sleep for a little while as it was.

You padded down the hallway, holding your hand against the small of your back, arching it in an attempt to eradicate some stiffness. The house was breathing all around you, making small noises as the world around you slowly awakened. It was still chilly; your feet protested the cold wood floor. A milky shaft of light flowed into the hallway from the kitchen. Another warmer light emanated from the living room. That must be where Deku was. Judging by the stillness in the air, he had accomplished what he came out to do.

You entered on a small gasped breath, placing your hand over your mouth as if that would help conceal the sound escaping your mouth. Deku was a stunning man. Even if he didn’t know it, you were always looking for chances to remind him and he was always doing things that just made himself a hundred times more attractive. Like the way his hair looked when he was straight out of the shower. Or the way he smirked when you told him a stupid joke. Or the way his hands looked when he was chopping vegetables for dinner. Or the way his smile looked when he caught you outside in the garden.

But he had never looked so good as he did right now and your heart bloomed on an almost painful balloon of happiness and love. The glow from the lighthouse night light was already weakening as the sun began its ascent but it was just enough to cast Deku’s face in a warm glow. He had a five o clock shadow now and was somewhere in between sleep and awareness; his foot propelled the rocking chair in a slow ambling rhythm but every once in a while it would stutter into stillness. You shook your head, a smile threatening to break across your face at the delightfully foolish man; he hadn’t bothered to put on a shirt so your baby girl was skin to skin with him. Her eyes were shut and her little mouth was open just a touch.

You must have made some noise because his eyes fluttered open. He didn’t say anything just gently lifted a hand to beckon you over. The muscle memory of sneaking around whenever she was asleep kicked in though and this time you made it to him without making a sound. He closed his eyes briefly again as he took your hand in his own. It felt magical really to hold his hand. It was large and warm and callused. You brought it to your lips, pressing gentle kisses to the scars that crisscrossed his skin before leaning into his ear.

“Why don’t we sit back on the couch,” you whispered. At least the three of you could fit on there together and you had a creeping suspicion he wouldn’t go back to bed even if you suggested it. He lazily nodded his head before cradling the baby in his arms and rising, the breath whooshing from his lips as he attempted to move without waking her. You knew what it felt like to be held by him so you weren’t surprised when she didn’t wake from her slumber. After grabbing the much-needed painkiller for your headache, you settled in next to him.

He opened his arms and now was cradling two human beings. He was an expert at it really. You curled into him and listened with delight as the baby nestled even farther into the crook of his arm and let out a breathless sigh, the kind that only babies can make. Deku was already drifting back to sleep. You could tell by the way his breath deepened with each movement of his chest as your arm rested over his abdomen.

“I love you,” you murmured into his skin. He whispered it back against the crown of your head as the two of you floated into sleep and the world felt whole and good.

Early morning sun craned through the window; outside the city came to life. Spring danced on a breeze through the trees outside. All was well.

#izuku midoriya x reader #deku x reader #izuku midoriya #midoriya izuku #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #aged up deku x reader #aged up izuku midoriya x reader #kaitsuki writes

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thatmultifandomhoe · 4 years ago

Text

It’s You

Pairing: Changkyun and Reader

Group: Monsta X

Word Count: 7,433

Genre/Rating: Valentine’s Day AU - Quarantine AU - Friends to Lovers AU - Fluff - Angst - PG-13

Overview: The last thing you planned to do was celebrate Valentine’s Day. Being single on a holiday that glorified love, especially during a pandemic, was the perfect sign to stay at home to guarantee avoiding having a broken heart. Especially when Changkyun, the one who held it, seemed to have plans of his own.

Warning: Mention of past unrequited love and having a broken heart - swearing -

A/N: Happy - early - Valentine’s Day sweet peas! And yes, Changkyun from Monsta X was the winner of the “Who Do You Want to Spend Valentine’s day With,” and I had so much fun working on this piece. I’m personally not a fan of the holiday - for reasons you’ll read below - but I hope that those of y’all who do celebrate have a happy Valentine’s day, and I hope that y’all enjoy this piece and get all the chocolate that you want this year!

Tagging: @srvdyv @skyys-universe @kpophoneybunny @wheein-whanders @ezralia-writes

Music Playlist:

Main Master List:

Pinterest Mood Board:

The First Installment of the Hoe Catalog.

©thatmultifandomhoe 2021. Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

“Are you okay?”

Glancing over at the cell phone that was propped up on the dresser, you raised an eyebrow at the black screen. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You do know what day it is, right?”

Fingers pausing, you pressed your lips together, staring down at the button of the black jeans you had been in the middle of putting on. You had known what day it was when you went to turn off the alarm that had set for that morning. It had been painfully obvious, and as the pre-recorded song of birds chirping increased in volume, you had stared at the date for longer than you normally do.

February fourteenth.

Valentine’s Day.

“I’ve only been awake for an hour,” you said, stepping towards the closet for a shirt. It had been a miracle that Changkyun had called instead of his preferred method of randomly video calling. While it was true, you had been up for an hour, you had only started moving about to get on with the day about five minutes ago. And currently you were only wearing pants and a black lacy bra. Although, knowing him, he wouldn’t have complained.

There was rustling on his end and the clinking of a spoon hitting a glass. “I know, but I just wanted to make sure. You seemed pretty upset the other day.”

“It’s not that I’m upset…” You slipped your head through the hole of a black smocked square blouse with red flowers printed on it, adjusting the top so it sat properly. “I just...don’t like the holiday.”

Which was putting it mildly. It was more than a dislike, but as you went to look in the mirror to make sure there weren’t any tags sticking out, you silently thanked him for calling. You never hated Valentine’s Day. At its core, it was rather a sweet concept, one that year after year, a part of you hoped that maybe you’d be able to have someone to enjoy the holiday with. But after years of being single on the most romantic day, and having it ruined by dates turned sour, more often than not a dark cloud hovered overhead while you tried to simply get through the day.

You tried to find some spin on it to turn it around. Starting tomorrow and for the next week, chocolate was going to be anywhere from fifty to seventy-percent off. Sales were always fantastic no matter what the reason was. There were only so many chocolate hearts that you were capable of eating though.

“Why are you calling so early?” You said, turning the conversation back to him. It made sense why you were up – even on a Sunday there was always work to be done – for him to be awake before noon, that caused a bit of worry.

“Ah,” there was a thump that echoed on the call like he had dropped his phone, his voice sounding distant. “I have some things to get done today.”

“Yeah, but it’s nine in the morning. I thought you weren’t even coherent before noon.”

Changkyun forced out a laugh and you lightly smiled, gathering your hair into a bun before carrying him into the kitchen. Even though it was a simple phone call and was a bit distorted, it did nothing to dull the fluttering going on by the butterflies in your stomach. His lazy grin came to mind, and only ten minutes into the hour and you were smiling like a fool while stirring your coffee.

That was another reason why you weren’t entirely fond of the holiday. The entire day was dedicated to love, to telling someone that you love them, and here you were, having fallen for your friend and yet you refused to tell him. It was hard to pinpoint when these feelings began, but it was possible that they had been growing since the day you two met.

There was no doubt that you were a workaholic, always feeling weird if you bummed around for more than a few hours, so it made sense that on the rare day off that you took, something had to crash it. You had been indulging in some binge watching of your precious Inuyasha when your phone lit up with an incoming video call from Messenger. Immediately you had been hesitant. None of your friends ever video messaged you since unlike them, your cell was an android.

You hadn’t planned to answer him. Not only did you not recognize the name, or his picture - despite how attractive he appeared - but you didn’t normally answer requests from strangers. With that in mind and mildly annoyed in having to pause the episode, you were ready to hit decline and be on with the day. Except, you were a dumb ass, and hit accept by accident.

Turns out he had meant to call someone else and had been equally shocked when you answered. In fact, he had been less than classy upon seeing you in instead of his friend, the words, ‘oh, fuck me,’ slipping out before he could stop himself.

In normal circumstances, you might have rolled your eyes, or told him to go fuck himself, but it had been six months into the pandemic and he was the first new person that you had met in a while.

“I don’t usually fuck strangers,” you had said instead, not missing the way his eyebrow rose and how his mouth curled upwards in a smile. “But if you wanna buy me a grinder and have it delivered to my place; I might eventually be persuaded.”

There had been a tense moment, but when he let out a breathless chuckle, somehow you knew that you were in the safe zone. Turns out, the two of you had a friend in common who he had meant to call, but he hadn’t been paying attention to what he was doing and accidentally clicked on your profile. The call only lasted for a few more minutes before Changkyun apologized and with an awkward wave, ended it. You stared at his profile picture and next thing you knew, you were scrolling through his pictures, oohing upon finding an old one of him with silver hair and an eyebrow piercing.

A couple hours later, there was a knock at your door and after slipping on a mask, you were greeted with a delivery man that looked no older than sixteen, announcing that he had a grinder for you. Before you could say that you hadn’t ordered anything, he promised that it had already been paid for, tip included. Not one to turn down free food, you accepted it, and saw the note that was taped to the paper bag.

I’m not a weirdo I promise. Jooheon passed along your address, and I’m not about to let someone go hungry. From, a friendly stranger who hit the wrong button.

There was no second guessing on your part. You pulled his profile back up and hit the video button, only having to wait a few seconds before his face filled the screen, locks of black hair falling across his forehead as he ruffled it up.

“Did you seriously send me a grinder?”

“You sounded hungry.”

There was a brief pause, and suddenly you were giggling, shoulders shaking as you sat down on a chair, his own deep chuckles joining in not long after. It was odd, but after that – and after confirming with Jooheon to make sure he wasn’t a creep, which you were assured he wasn’t – the two of you fell into the habit of video chatting. Some days there was nothing to say. With the pandemic raging on and everything closed, it was nice to have someone simply be there after all this time.

Fast forward five months later, the pandemic had only grown worse, and not only had Changkyun proven to be a good friend, but he managed to worm his way into your heart.

“What about you,” Changkyun suddenly asked. “You’re not actually working today, are you? Forget the holiday, it’s Sunday.”

Rolling your eyes, you went back to the bedroom with the black coffee in one hand, and him in the other. “Not all day. I have a few graphics that I want to finish up or it’ll bug me. Should only take a few hours to do.”

“Only a few hours,” he teased. “I’m willing to bet you’ll still be working tonight.”

“Will not.”

“Will too.”

“Not.”

His end grew silent, and he suddenly cleared his throat. “We’ll see about that.”

There was something about that sentence that stopped you from entering the password to your computer. Glancing away from the screen, you stared at Changkyun’s picture, wondering why his voice had softened when he had said that, as if he knew something that you didn’t.

“What is it that you have to do?” You found yourself asking him again, not looking at the keys as you logged into your laptop, the bleeding hearts screensaver appearing as the icons loaded one by one.

“Just some…stuff. I’ll probably be off my phone most of the day.”

“Oh.”

With the amount of phone calls and video chats the two of you had, it had become normal to hear from him a couple times throughout the day. The text chat was filled with various memes, emojis, and conversations that ranged from how much is too much fabric softener? - all the way to late night conversations involving stories about crazy exes, to insecurities, dreams you’ve always wanted to do, and whether or not the world would ever go back to the normal that you both had known prior to March 2020.

Wetting your lips, you leaned back against the desk chair and cradled the mug in both hands. “Well, have fun with whatever you’re doing,” you said, keeping your voice light so he wouldn’t notice the shift in your mood.

It was suddenly so obvious why he wasn’t saying what he had to do. With the holiday approaching, Changkyun had asked if you had any plans for how to spend the day, and with that came your explanation for why you weren’t overly fond of this particular day. The blind dates that ended terribly and being single had been part of the reason why, but there was one particular instance from the past that was determined to ruin Valentines every year for you.

In all the years, there was one person that you had confessed to on Valentines. Jungkook was someone you considered a friend, but you had only told him the truth to get him to shut up about his girlfriend. Up until that afternoon she had been the ex that, from your understanding, despised being in the same room as him anymore. According to him, she showed up at his place with the usual, ‘I miss you,’ and ‘let’s try again,’ and somehow that all managed to lead to wild and hot passionate sex that was, ‘insanely good.’

If only that had been it.

Whether Jungkook got caught up in reliving the moment and forgot who he was talking to, he gave you a play by play of their reunion. From the way she arrived at his door, to the way she felt around him, he told every detail all while you were on the other end of the phone, fingers twisted and tugging at your hair as you sat on the floor of your childhood bedroom. On all the days, the last thing you wanted to hear was your crush talking about having to move to the living room because his bedroom reeked from all their fucking.

The conversation didn’t last much longer, thank god, but you hadn’t been able to grieve because in the other room mom’s voice could be heard as she talked about her day at work. Instead, you forced back the tears and it took everything to not break down when she smiled and handed you an orange teddy bear holding a red heart that said I love you, along with a bag of Lindt chocolates. She was unaware, and while everyone slept, you buried your face into a couple pillows to muffle the sounds of your crying. You were only eighteen and yet you swore your heart collapsed in on itself before exploding into a million glass shards.

“That fucking dick,” Changkyun had said when you told him.

The screen had been bright as the two of you video chatted, and you rubbed your eyes, tired but not ready to go to sleep. He had been doing the rounds of locking up and shutting off the lights while you spoke, only wearing a thin pair black and blue flannel pants. At least he held the phone pretty leveled so you weren’t forced to stare at his torso, but there had been several times where you found your gaze lingering on his muscular body.

“I mean,” you ran a hand through your hair, shrugging as he looked back at you. “It happens to everyone.”

Changkyun frowned though. “No,” he said, his voice gentle but firm at the same time. “No, it doesn’t. And that shouldn’t have happened to you.”

Blinking, you forced the memory away, shifting in your seat to get comfortable once again. Just because you didn’t enjoy the holiday, or didn’t have anyone to spend it with, didn’t mean that was the case with Changkyun. Why else would he be reluctant to say what his plans were? He was probably just being nice and didn’t want to appear like he was rubbing salt into an old wound that refused to heal.

“Hey,” Changkyun’s voice softened again, and as much as you knew you shouldn’t, you wished that he was here, in the apartment with you for him to hold you. “It’s still early in the morning. For all you know, there’s a Mr. Right, who’s going to stumble into your path today.”

You scoffed, the clicking of your mouse echoing in the bedroom. “I mean, I don’t have plans to go out.”

“Surprises can happen you know.”

“Alright Changkyun,” now that the internet was up, you glanced back at the phone. “I gotta get to work. Stay safe out there.”

“Always am. Talk to you later.”

“Bye.”

There was a pause, and when you looked back over, the call was still going. It wasn’t out of the ordinary for either of you to leave it going while doing work, the silence was never awkward, it was more comforting than anything, but this time there was a sense of something being left un–

“You look pretty today,” Changkyun said suddenly.

Blinking, your fingers tightened around the mouse as your heart raced. “What? You can’t even see me Changkyun.”

“So?”

“I could be wearing my pajamas for all you know,” your voice faltered, and despite the constriction of wearing jeans, you pulled your legs up on to the chair to hug them to your chest.

“I’ve already seen you in your pajamas,” he joked. “You’re still pretty though.”

He was smiling. You knew for certain that he was, and that made your palms turn clammy, forcing you to wipe them against the pant leg.

“Maybe I’m not, wearing clothes?” Internally you slapped yourself, instantly regretting those words, and perhaps your entire existence at this point. It was still early. Instead of work, maybe you could possibly bury yourself under all the blankets and never answer his phone calls again.

Hearing shuffling coming from the phone, you pressed your lips together, not entirely sure if you wanted to hear what he had to say.

“Are you trying to keep me from my plans today?” His voice deepened and if it weren’t for the fact that you were already sitting down, you were certain that you’d be on the floor.

“No, I’m just stupid,” you blurted out, slamming your hand over your mouth.

Changkyun chuckled, and suddenly the phone seemed closer to him because his voice became clearer. “I think you’re trying to seduce me.”

Oh god. No. It was absolutely the other way around. He was the one who had the advantage on his side, between the lip bites and the selfies he sent that captured his jawline that was perfect to cut glass with. Whether it was his godly features, or when the two of you were video chatting and he rolled onto his stomach and face planted himself into the pillow, you fell for him every time.

“Know what?” You rushed to say, ignoring his laughter. “I have work and you have things to do. Stay safe, and I’ll talk to you later. Bye!”

There was no hesitation. This time you slammed your finger on the end call button and for extra measure, tossed it away and on the bed, letting it disappear among the sea of messy blankets.

Shakily sighing, you slid further down in the chair as the edge of the desk pinned your legs to your chest to keep from falling to the ground. He had never said anything like that before. Sure, there were times where he’d see you do something or when you’d ramble on about a show or work, he’d might say cute, but that always felt like an afterthought.

“Damn it Changkyun,” you said, glaring at where you had thrown the phone and hating the fact that his words kept circling around your mind, making you feel incredibly warmer than you had been ten minutes earlier. Hating that while he was probably going to be on a date with some pretty girl who was worth his time, you were at home, working on a Sunday, wishing that the guy you hadn’t even met in person was here and telling you that in-between kisses.

You ran a hand over your face with a groan, fingers of course getting caught in the bun briefly as you sat up. There was work to be done, and with a click of the mouse, the programs you needed quickly opened up. It was fairly easy, and if you focused, would only take an hour, maybe even less to get done. But with Changkyun on the brain, all you wanted to do was curl back up under the messy blankets and daydream about him. About what it would be like to hug him, to hear his voice in person, and perhaps, spend a Valentine’s day with someone who wouldn’t let you down.

That wasn’t going to happen though. It was a daydream and nothing more.

Lacing your fingers together, you quickly turned them inward, groaning in satisfaction at the loud crack that emitted from the joints. Outside the window that the desk was placed in front of, the sun had already begun its descent for the night. The sky was painted in splashes of orange with lazy clouds slipping in, the remaining bits of blue falling steadily behind.

Despite what Changkyun had predicted, he was only partially correct. With him swimming freely in your mind, you had been distracted, lost in a hazy daydream that made it impossible to focus on the graphics that you were trying to finish up. More often than not you stepped away from the desk, feet guiding you to the other room or in small twirls with the faintest lovesick smile. It was impossible to get anything done. So, you said fuck it. It was Sunday after all, and you weren’t expected to have those scheduled to be posted for a few days. Where was the harm in having one day to yourself? One with no work whatsoever to stress you out?

With work out of the way and having no other plans, another cup of coffee had been made and in the spirit of the holiday, your gaze had lingered on the makeup that sat on the dresser. Most of it had gone unused as the weeks melted into months. Tubes of lipstick and eye shadow palettes once loved had been forgotten about, and as you recalled, the brushes that you typically forgot to clean had been washed out of pure boredom. It was with new motivation that you grabbed a majority of the collection and hopped onto the counter in the bathroom, music playing from a playlist filled with songs from your younger years that held nostalgia, and simply played around with the colors.

By the time you were done, an hour had gone by, and you gained two cut creases with glitter, contoured cheeks, painted your lips, and looked like you were ready to go out for a date out in the city to be wined and dined. Instead, you slipped on a pair of fuzzy socks and slid into the kitchen with plans to see what frozen meal the freezer had to offer. If anything, it had the bare bones of a date. The location? Your couch. The hot leading man? Most likely the main character from whatever show you finally decided on after you gave a good scroll through Netflix. All you needed was utter disappointment and it could be considered a success.

You were torn between making the decision for frozen lasagna or chicken Alfredo, but a sudden and loud knock at the door stopped you. Eyebrows pulling in confusion, you carefully set the food on the counter, taking a moment to slip on the mask that you left hanging on the doorknob for situations like this. Not that they occurred often. With the exception of having food delivered, once the world realized that this pandemic wasn’t just a simple flu and doctors encouraged people to stay home, you hadn’t invited anyone over. It was lonely, and you missed your friends and family greatly, but this wasn’t a situation to take lightly.

“I’m sorry,” you said, opening the door once the fabric mask was securely on. “I think you might have the wrong…”

And you stopped. Stopped talking and stared. Stared at the man leaning against your door frame, wearing a black as ink suit jacket, a pristine white button up shirt was tucked into matching black pants, with the top several buttons undone to reveal a tanned and toned chest that you knew he took pride in considering all the gym selfies he sent. The black fabric mask he wore hid most of his face, but the corners of his eyes were crinkled together.

“I think I’m right where I’m supposed to be,” Changkyun said, his deep voice sounding better in real life than you had expected, and dreamed of.

He pushed off of the frame and it was then that you noticed the things in his hands. In the left, was a plastic bag stuffed with packaged containers, and in the right…in his right wrapped in pink tissue paper was a bouquet of red and pink carnations with babies’ breath mixed in. There had to be at least a dozen, perhaps a baker’s dozen, if not a few extra.

There were no words. After all the books you consumed to pass the time, articles you searched for work, and even countless texts sent to friends, everything escaped you at that very moment because he was here. He was actually here and standing in front of you.

“I know you said you haven’t had anyone over since this started. But I got tested a couple days ago, came back negative, and we’ve both been working from home this entire time so if you want…” Changkyun lifted the bag he held into view and this time, you could see that even though it was triple bagged, you were able to make a red dragon printed on the cartons. “I have Chinese food, and I’m willing to bet that Netflix has something for us to watch. If you’re not comfortable though that’s fine. I have plenty of food that we can—”

Except he didn’t get to finish what he was saying before you tugged him into the apartment by his arm. Immediately, your arms wound their way around his waist and you pressed your face into his chest, tightly hugging him.

“It’s you,” you said, feeling his right arm carefully rest on your back to hold you close, all while being mindful of the flowers that he was carrying.

There was a soft chuckle from above as he laid his head on top of yours. “It’s good to finally see you too.”

Smiling, your arms tightened around him once more before you stepped backwards, letting him enter the apartment completely. “You didn’t have to bring flowers you know.”

“And show up empty handed?”

You gestured towards the table for him to set the food down, taking the flowers and going to the sink. “You bought Chinese food. That more than would have made up for no flowers.” But while the vase filled with water and you trimmed the stems, gently adding them in one by one, there was a warmth spreading within your chest that came right from the heart, even more so when he chuckled. The only people to ever buy you flowers on Valentine’s day were your parents.

Like always, the silence that followed felt natural. The only difference was that you were aware that Changkyun was moving around in the kitchen with you, getting plates and silverware out without having to ask where things were because he had seen you do the same thing countless times before while video chatting. You just never thought he was actually paying attention.

When they were all in the vase, you tossed the ends in the trash and turned around, only to see that once again, he was watching you.

“Why are you staring?”

Changkyun shrugged, running a hand through his hair as the black locks fell right back into his eyes. “I was right.”

Tilting your head, you walked over to the table and set the vase in the center. You were already so close to him, but he leaned his head down, the black fabric of his mask brushing against the top of your ear.

“That you look pretty,” he said softly. “And it’s not because of the makeup. I had a feeling you might dress up today; you look beautiful.”

The air that you had been breathing was instantly stolen, and when you made the mistake of looking up at him, you realized just how close the two of you were. If it weren’t for the masks you both wore…

“You don’t look half bad yourself,” you teased, trying to not glance at where his lips would be. “You’re a lot taller than messenger video makes you out to be.”

He rolled his eyes and scoffed. Straightening up, Changkyun slipped his suit jacket off and set it on the back of a chair to undo the buttons on his cuffs, taking the time to roll each sleeve up to his elbows. “You’re meaner in person.”

Good god. You knew that he worked out, but damn. Maybe not for the first couple weeks, eventually Changkyun fell into the habit of sending selfies while he was working out at the gym. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, but seeing his tanned arms and the white sleeve making its way up to his elbow, it sparked the butterflies and gave them a newfound fluttering energy.

“Do you wanna eat or not?” Not thinking of it, you reached up to unhook the elastic from around your ears, removing the mask and setting it back on the counter. With a glance up at him, you saw him raise an eyebrow before he mimicked your movements to take off his own mask, revealing the jaw that tempted your daydreams in more ways than you wished.

He smiled, and you handed him his plate and together, the two of you fixed up heaping plates of Chinese food, using the concept of needing to eat to distract yourself. Everything was still hot and as you settled on the couch, steam curled its way up into the air.

“Were you able to get your secret plans done today?” You asked, glancing over at him while Netflix loaded up on the TV screen.

“Why are you so interested in what I had to do?” He was focused on the dumpling that he held with the chopsticks, not meeting your gaze at all.

It wasn’t that you meant to be focused on that. But he had acted so suspicious on the phone earlier, and now he was here, having dinner in your apartment with enough Chinese food to cost a small fortune, along with sixteen carnations – yes, you counted while cutting them – on Valentine’s Day. There had been no warning, and as much as you wanted to believe that he was here for more than a friendly drop in, the idea of him having been on a date earlier in the day and was here to talk about it, about the possible other girl, killed the butterflies. You had already been through this once, you didn’t want to go through it again. Not with him.

Scrolling through the list of suggestions, you didn’t notice Changkyun looking over at you, or the way his face softened. His fingers tightened around the chopsticks and he leaned back against the cushion.

“What’s that one about?” He nodded towards one of the movies that was in the watch again section.

You raised an eyebrow, scrolling over to it. “Please don’t tell me that you’ve never seen Love Actually?”

“If I did, would I have asked what it’s about?”

Unable to stop yourself, an undignified sound escaped you as you wildly gestured with the remote. “How? It’s like the sweetest romance, Christmas movie ever. They play it every year. It even has Liam Neeson, the man promising to find and kill everyone, as a sweet dad who doesn’t kill anyone! That alone is a true Christmas miracle by itself.”

The thought of him being with someone else dissipated at the sound of his laughter. Even caught up in the excitement of this particular movie, you couldn’t stop the smile that grew. No matter what, even in real life or over video, you always found yourself grinning the second he laughed or smiled. He was without a doubt contagious, in the best way possible.

“What are you waiting for?” He said, gesturing towards the screen with the chopsticks, shoulders relaxing at the sight of your smile and apparent joy for the film. One that he had in fact, seen a few times over the years. “Press play.”

There was no hesitation. You were determined to culture him in what you deemed to be a classic in romance films. So, as you comfortably settled in, belly growing full of warm and delicious food, you once again missed Changkyun’s wide smile. It was the kind of grin that no matter what he did, or how serious he tried to be, simply wouldn’t go away.

The empty dinner plates sat long forgotten about on the coffee table as another movie played, this one involving an action pack fight scene with aliens in New York City. Hours had passed since Changkyun arrived at your door, and despite it growing late and Valentine’s Day was nearing its end, his polished shoes were unlaced and tossed on the floor. A wine bottle had been opened up, and you sat much closer to him to share a blanket with him. You were blaming it on the wine for being so bold because when he stretched an arm on the back of the couch, you didn’t think twice about gently leaning your head against it.

You couldn’t even really blame it on the wine. It was the first glass for both of you, and you were a slow drinker, so you were as sober as a newborn lamb at the moment.

It was just like when the two of you would video chat with the same movie on, but so much better. Having him here, you were noticing the smallest things that you’d miss when on the phone. At the base of his neck was a small mole that you never realized he had, or that he was wearing two thin silver chains – a pair that, now that you thought about it, he never went without. Behind you, he’d occasionally rub his fingers together and the metal of his bracelet would lightly clink against itself. With the few glances that you stole, his attention was solely on the movie and his jaw appeared to be pressed together.

Feeling a sudden weight, you turned to see him settling his arm around your shoulders. His wrist was now hanging over your arm, and it took all your willpower to not reach up with a free hand to lace your fingers loosely with his. When you glanced back up at him, he was in mid sip of his wine, throat bobbing with each swallow.

Shit. This was not helping the butterflies that seemed to have multiplied since his arrival.

Changkyun raised an eyebrow when he lowered his glass, softly humming in question, but you only shook your head and focused back on the movie. Except, now you were hyper aware that he was looking at you this time.

“What’s wrong?” He murmured, his thumb and fingers lightly rubbing against your arm.

That was another thing. His voice was deep. In the calls, the phone occasionally cracked and had made it seem lighter, but it appeared to be just the opposite. He was blessed with a voice that was able to drop lower than a bass, sending your insides to mush when he spoke. It was the type of voice that was destined to recite poetry and old sonnets, to hold three in the morning conversations that went wherever and everywhere. When he called your name, it never failed to send tingles running the length of your body. It was his voice, and you knew that you’d never grow tired of hearing him talk.

“Nothing. I was just thinking,” you said, leaning your head back, his arm comfortable and warm as you looked up at the ceiling, trying to avoid his gaze for a few seconds.

His fingers didn’t stop. The gentle caress, a small reassurance that he was in fact here and this wasn’t your imagination, made it harder to stay where you sat instead of curling into his side like you wanted.

“Thinking about what?”

Letting out a breathless scoff, you tilted your head towards him. Changkyun was a sight to see and you knew that if this was the only time you got to spend with him in person, you were never going to forget this moment.

Your smile softened. “That you’re actually here, after all these months of texts and video calls. You actually came here, and you’re real.”

“Did you think I was a robot or something?” Changkyun teased, but his fingers stopped moving, and that lock of hair fell back into his eyes again.

“Well, you did accidentally call me instead of Jooheon and last time I checked, we look nothing alike.” There was no thinking as you reached up and mimicked his movements to push that damn lock back, feeling how soft his hair was. It brought you a little bit closer to him and in that second, the world suddenly felt like it was no longer moving when you glanced down at his lips. Those pink lips that you wondered and dreamt about night after night, too curious for your own good on what it would be like to kiss him. Now was your chance to find out, especially when he didn’t lean back and appeared to be getting closer.

“Cookies?” You suddenly asked, leaning back to see his eyebrows start to pull together in confusion. Heart racing, you set your wine glass on the coffee table and walked around the couch to step into the kitchen. With only your back to him, you quietly let out a shaky breath. “I know I have some for us to munch on…”

Opening up a cabinet, you stretched on to your toes to search for the package of cookies that you knew were in there, mentally slapping yourself at having done that. He hadn’t backed away, hadn’t tried to stop you, in fact, if you allowed yourself to believe it, you would have recalled that he had started to lean in when you randomly brought up cookies. As much as you wanted to, the last thing you wanted was to lose your friendship.

You were pushing aside a box of crackers when his hand captured your wrist, halting your search. It felt like your heart was about to leap out of its cage when his fingers gently wrapped around your hand, and when his palm settled on a hip, it was equally as comforting as it lit a spark inside you. There was nothing you wanted to do more than to melt into his embrace.

“Sweetheart, do you really think I’m here to just hang out?” He asked, his voice low as he spoke into your ear, his body stepping closer to yours.

“You’re…you’re not?” You weakly asked, nervous because you didn’t want this all to be a joke.

The idea of this being a one night only thing thanks to the holiday left an ache in your bones. You wanted more nights like this with him, wanted to hear him call out your name with that gentle smile of his over and over again. Dammit, you wanted to wake up and have the blankets be stifling hot but not care as you crawled over to his side of the bed, searching for morning cuddles because fuck the person who decided that the workday would start at eight in the morning. The only person you wanted to spend this quarantine with, to be able to touch, to be worried and even scared about all this with, was Changkyun.

Changkyun’s breath hit the back of your neck as he softly chuckled, sending a shiver down your spine. “God, I thought I was being obvious. Let me try this differently.”

Still holding on to your wrist, he turned you around and once you were facing him, let go of your hand to step closer until your back was against the counter. With each breath your chest brushed against his, and when he pushed the hair that had fallen in your face behind your ear, fingers brushing against your cheek, you almost forgot to breathe.

“I know you’ve always had a pretty crappy Valentine’s day,” Changkyun softly spoke. His gaze was steady with yours, and even though he was being serious, there was a softness to his features that had the corner of his mouth curling upwards. “And I thought that the best way to keep that from repeating this year, would be if you spent it with someone, who loves you.”

Who loves…oh.

It suddenly all made sense. Why he didn’t want to say what he was doing to celebrate, him calling you pretty, the food and flowers, the coaxing touches, he could have rented a billboard and put up a neon flashing sign and you probably still would have been blind.

“Changkyun,” you whispered, reaching up to cup his cheek.

He softly smiled as he closed the remaining space between you to rest his forehead against yours, his palms sliding along your body until he had you wrapped in a hug. “There you go, now you get it.”

Giggling, you rolled your eyes out of habit. It was like him to be a smart ass during a moment like this. With that being said, the butterflies fluttered their way up to your heart, and all the daydreams that you entertained and thought nothing would come of them, now had the possibility of becoming reality.

“I love you too,” you said, running your thumb along his cheek as you watched his smile widen.

There was no hesitation, or smart ass comments this time. Instead, when his lips met yours in a kiss, your heart stopped racing. The butterflies finally calmed down and the world around you went out of focus as your fingers slid through his hair. His lips were soft, and thanks to the red wine, there was a lingering tangy sweetness that reminded you of raspberries. You found yourself becoming addicted to his taste, the kisses melting together until you lost track of how long the two of you stood there, content with doing nothing but being wrapped up in each other’s embrace.

A clock chimed out in the apartment, breaking the kiss which only served to make you pout at the loss of his lips. The gesture didn’t go unnoticed by Changkyun, who smirked before leaning down to give one more kiss, which quickly turned into two, then three.

“Don’t you have work in the morning?” He murmured, resting his forehead once more against yours.

“You trying to kiss and dash?”

His fingers gently pressed into your sides and you squirmed at his touch, giggling at his antics. However, he leaned his head back and sighed. “Like hell I’d do that. But you usually wake up earlier for work, and trust me, I’ll end up keeping you awake if I stay the night.”

There was no doubt about that, and to be truthful, you’d have no issue if that was the case. He was right, but as ideas turned in your mind, you shrugged. “You can’t go out driving though,” you said softly. “You were drinking.”

Changkyun frowned, head tilting as he removed a hand from your back to run through his hair. “Not even a whole glass.”

You raised an eyebrow. It took him having to say he loved you for you to understand how he felt about you despite his dine and wine attempt, and here he was, completely missing what you were suggesting. Either you were absolutely perfect for each other, or equally dense.

“Well, we also broke quarantine,” you said slowly, slipping a finger through his belt loop at the same time to bring him closer. “Isn’t the recommendation to stay at home for what, at least three days?”

He started to tilt his head, mouth opening to question what you were saying until he saw the smile growing on your face. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips together before looking back at you.

“That was horrible,” Changkyun said. He slipped his arms back around you, pulling you away from the counter. His grin said otherwise. “At least I tried being romantic.”

“Well, I mean, if you really want to go back to your place by yourself…”

He didn’t let you say another word, his lips reclaiming yours again, because there was absolutely nothing that felt better than kissing you after months of dreaming what it would be like.

“Don’t go,” you softly murmured against his lips. “Not when you just got here.”

Maybe it was selfish. But you didn’t want to be alone again. Not when he had gone through so much trouble to make this night special, not when you finally knew that he felt the same way about you. After almost a year of staying inside the apartment whenever you could, of going without hugs or get togethers, being able to touch and kiss Changkyun felt like you were relearning what those were all over again. All you wanted was a few days with him.

Changkyun hummed, his arms tightening around you. “Sweetheart, I wasn’t planning on going anywhere,” he said, gazing down at you as if he had considered the same thing.

The clock that had rang out to announce the hour of a new day and that Valentine’s day was over, continued to quietly tick in the other room. The Earth continued to spin, and outside, the world was exactly how it had been this morning, full of fear, what ifs, and the unknown of a pandemic that didn’t seem to be going anywhere any time soon.

But inside that small apartment, wrapped in Changkyun’s arms, giggles and laughter filled the walls when he pulled you to the middle of the kitchen and spun you around for a late-night dance. It might not be the thing that changes the world, but for the first time, in a long time, hope began to blossom alongside the butterflies in your stomach. The memories of past Valentine’s days melted away at his kiss, until only the memory of him at your door remained.

Even when it hadn’t felt like it, love and hope had always been there. And now it was here promising lovelier days to come.

244 notes · View notes

vivianweasley · 4 years ago

Text

Pride and Prejudice (Chapter 1)

Summary: You are Draco’s cousin, and after the war, it was really difficult for you to find a job because of your last name. So your mother and Mrs. Weasley came up with a crazy idea. A fake marriage between you and Fred Weasley.

Italics= flashback

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Malfoy!Fem!Reader

Warnings: workplace discrimination, slight slight mention of war

Word Count: 1.9k

Disclaimer: all the pictures used in the header are from Pinterest. Credit goes to the original owners.

Please do NOT repost or translate my work on another site without explicit permission! Thank you! Reblogs and comments are always welcome:)

Prologue

Two days after the dinner at the Burrow, you ran into your friend when you were shopping at Flourish and Blotts. She just got out of the Daily Prophet, and you could see a name tag on her chest stating that she’s now a reporter for the Daily Prophet.

“You got the job?” You didn’t know how to process this information. You and she were in the same year and same house. You both took the same classes, your grades were almost the same, and you both got the interview for Daily Prophet at the same time. The only difference was that she got the job, and you didn’t.

“Yes! Today’s the first day! Wait, you didn’t?” She was finding it hard to believe too.

Memories of the interview flashed back. You could still remember how the interviewer immediately furrowed his brows when he heard that your last name is Malfoy. The distrust, doubt, and even disgust on his face were so painfully visible.

You knew your background couldn’t provide any help when it comes to finding a job, but you still encouraged yourself by thinking that maybe it was because you weren’t good enough. If that’s so, you could always make up for it by working harder. But now you realized that, no matter how hard you worked, you would never be good enough for them because people would always make false assumptions about you based on your last name.

You felt dizzy. The whole Diagon Alley suddenly appeared foggy and dim, looking quite like your future, but you soon saw a lighthouse at the end of it. The brightness of the orange joke shop seemed to point out a way out for you as Mrs. Weasley and your mum’s suggestions rang in your ears.

“I need to go now!” The walk was only five minutes, but you couldn’t waste any time as you apparated right to the door of the joke shop.

“Well, this is rare!” The owner greeted you with a big grin on his face when you opened the door.

You didn’t have time to start this conversation with George, so you went right into your question, “I’m looking for Fred Weasley. Is he here?”

George was shocked as multiple questions ran through his brain. Wait, you could tell between him and Fred? But does he know you this well? Or maybe you have some history with Fred? Merlin! Y/N Malfoy? And Fred??

But he said nothing, just pointed at the back of the shop as he was still trying to process the situation.

“Thanks.” You rushed to the back of the shop and saw Fred sorting through the boxes in the storage.

“Fred Weasley.” You stated with a straight face.

“Y/N Malfoy?” Fred mimicked your tone as he still wasn’t sure what’s going on. What was this woman doing in his shop, anyway?

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No. Why? Do you fancy me? Did you fall in love with me after that one dinner?” he teased.

You ignored him and continued, “Do you fancy anyone? Are you dating someone? Talking to someone?”

“Not that I’m aware of?”

“Great. Let’s get married then.”

The boxes fell from Fred’s hands. This woman is absolutely mental! “I beg your pardon?”

“I said, let’s get married. After I got a steady job, we can get a divorce anytime.” You knew he’s going to laugh it off if you don’t up your game a little, so you frowned, pretending like you were disappointed, “Well, guess you don’t have the guts to do it.”

Fred knew what you were trying to do, but he was still completely under your control when you were basically giving him a dare. This should be fun, he decided. He never really hated you anyway. In fact, he actually really admired you back in Hogwarts.

Back in fifth year, Fred and George tried to prank you. It wasn’t because you did anything in particular. It was just because you were Draco Malfoy’s cousin, and Draco was really obnoxious that year.

The prank was simple. they estimated when you would walk down the stairs and set a tripwire on your way, waiting for you to trip over and fall.

Fred and George were hiding behind a pillar, waiting, but nothing happened. When you were walking down the stairs, you stopped and pulled out your wand. “Incendio,” you whispered, and the tripwire just burned into ashes.

Watching their prank being busted, the twins were frustrated. George gave up on pranking you again. It’s not like you did anything wrong anyway. But Fred suddenly felt motivated. He’s determined to get you one day.

Fred tried everything. Be it canary cream or portable swamp, you always had a way to avoid his pranks gracefully, and sometimes, the pranks would even backfire on him. After trying for a month, Fred finally admitted defeat. He admired how your brain worked, and he couldn’t help but think that if you weren’t a Malfoy, maybe you two would be really good friends.

“Who said I don’t have the guts?”

You smiled with satisfaction, for you knew your strategy worked, “Good, I will see you at the Ministry tomorrow then.”

“Wait, you could get a job, but what’s in it for me?”

You knew he wouldn’t agree so easily, so you had already prepared a plan, “How about, as long as it‘s not illegal or against my own moral standards, I can do three things for you. What do you say?”

“Deal!” The reason why Fred refused at first was that he hated being arranged and controlled by his parents. But now, when this arranged marriage became more like a game to him, he began finding it quite interesting. “The first thing I want you to do is to take care of my shop today!”

“I’m not stupid, Weasley. What if you run away after I spent the whole day working in your shop? The deal only works after I get the marriage certificate!”

Fred nodded in approval, “Not bad, Malfoy. So I will see you at the Ministry tomorrow at one pm then.”

“Deal! Don’t be late, Weasley!”

The next day, you were waiting at the Ministry at one pm. You repeatedly glanced at the clock and shuffled all the documents in your hands as you paced around.

Fred was late. Did he bail on you? Did he think you were only joking? Did he think you were a joke? Irritation and doubt rushed through your head, but you eventually calmed a bit down when you heard a familiar voice.

“Let’s just get this over with, shall we, my lovely bride-to-be?” he teased as he waltzed in.

“Not before we set some ground rules first.” You pulled him to a place where no one could hear you, and you finally took out the contract that you wrote yesterday night.

“Blimey, you actually wrote a contract?”

“Yes, Weasley, and you have to sign it,” you continued, “First, a year after I got a steady job, we will get a divorce.”

“A year?? Why does it have to be so long?”

“I don’t want the Ministry and my employer to think that I’m getting married only because I want to get a job.” You ignored his pout and went on with the list, “Second, if during this year, you actually met someone, you can date them. But you have to be discreet.”

He raised his eyebrows, “Aww, didn’t know you were such a thoughtful person.”

“Third, the fewer people know the truth, the better.”

“Sorry love, but my family already knew, and that’s already a lot of people.”

You glared at him, “You know what I mean!”

Your expression successfully elicited a small laugh from him, making you suspect that he actually enjoyed annoying you.

You rolled your eyes, “That’s all. Anything you want to add?”

Fred shook his head, and you handed him a pen, “Brilliant!”

After signing his name on your contract, he held out his arm, “Shall we?”

You smiled, taking his arm, “We shall.”

“Fred Weasley? And Y/N Malfoy?” The lady at the Ministry looked at you and then looked at Fred several times, and finally asked in a surprised tone.

“That’s us!” Fred answered and wrapped his arm around your shoulders while you both tried to put on the biggest smile.

But her eyes were still scanning you from head to toe, and finally stopped at your fingers, “So, no rings, huh?” She was looking into your eyes as if she just found out the whole marriage was a scam.

You cursed yourself for not remembering something this important, but your smile didn’t disappear, “Yes, Freddie and I aren’t conventional people. We don’t need a piece of metal to prove our love.”

Fred was surprised when he heard your nickname for him, but he didn’t let it show. It’s weird hearing you calling him that, but he had to admit he liked the sound of it. “That’s right, my love.”

You smiled and rested your head on his shoulder to display your affection. You wanted to stay focused so you won’t blow your cover, but hearing that pet name had caused a weird tingle in your stomach.

A few questions later, and before you could fully comprehend the situation, you were officially married to Fred Weasley. Looking at your marriage certificate, you felt surreal. Just in a few days, you and Fred went from classmates who never really talked to each other to a married couple. You two were legally bonded now, and it felt strange, but you had no time to process all these, for you had a more important task.

“Where are you going?” you heard Fred yelling behind you as you started running.

“I’ve got a job interview!”

The interview went well. The interviewer even thanked your husband and his family for their service during the war. You were disgusted by how people’s attitudes could change so drastically simply when you changed your last name. You didn’t fight in the war, but your family took in many muggle-born kids during those dark days, yet nobody cared. All they knew was your last name.

You walked home with mixed feelings running in your head. You knew your life was about to change, but you didn’t know if it was for better or worse. So many things have happened in the past few days, and you were just confused.

But what awaited you at home didn’t resolve any of your doubts. You saw your mum moving suitcases to the door. They were your suitcases.

“Mum, what’s going on?”

“Oh, darling, you’re back! How did the interview go?”

“It went well, I guess. Why are you moving my things out?”

“Oh, Mrs. Weasley and I figured it would look more authentic if you were staying with your husband. You know, just in case someone suspects anything.”

“Mum! But I barely know him!”

“Well, then this is the perfect chance to get to know each other!

So this was how you ended up knocking on the Weasley twins’ door at night, with all your suitcases.

The door cracked open, and Fred’s eyes widened when he saw you and your suitcases at his door.

You smiled sincerely at him, “Hello husband, mind if I stay the night?”

Chapter 2

A/N: this chapter is still setting things up. The next chapter will be longer!

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suchalonelysunflower · 4 years ago

Text

All My Midnights With You (c.h)

Pairing: Calum Hood X doctor! Reader

Summary: How many midnights can you spend with a stranger? Or Four times you see Calum at a New Year’s Party and one time he didn’t.

Warnings: Fluff with a little bit of angst. Implied sexual relations. Mentions of surgery, hospital rooms and vomit. Mentions of alcohol. Language. Some grammatical mistakes (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count: 6.9 k

Author’s Note: So, i had to make a NYE fic with Cal after all the angst i threw the past few weeks, and I’ve been working on it for weeks now and I’m finally satisfied with it! Please remember that Reblogs, comments and feedback are more than welcome and encouraged! I really love to hear from you guys ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy reading 🦋💕🌻

Also Ps: I made the reader a doctor cause I was watching way more episodes than I should of Greys anatomy and I figured it made sense in the plot

My materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Picture taken from Pinterest

One.

The party was loud. It’s not like you mind at all, you knew parties should be like that, it’s just that you’re not used to them anymore. But now, your residency was over and you could enjoy a little break from the neon white lights. You knew no one there besides your best friend, who quickly disappeared from your side to grab yourselves something to drink, leaving you alone amid people with funky hats and numbered glasses.

You didn’t mind, you knew their job as a radio host required them to be more social and if your hospital life taught you something is to know how to navigate through different environments with confidence, you were fine with watching people run around for fun for a change, drinks in their hands and hope in their eyes for the New Year.

You were standing at a corner of the room with your eyes wandering around the room, trying to find your friend amongst the sea of people. That was the first time you saw him.

Tall, with a black button-up shirt with rolled-up sleeves that displayed tattooed arms with various designs you couldn't figure out at a distance, head filled with black curls that were positioned in the most perfect way to make it seem like he didn’t put an effort on it at all, which you knew it must be a lie. His profile was immaculate, you thought since at a distance he looked like he could be sculpted from marble, especially when he smiled and his cheeks took over most of his face. His style wasn’t bad either, although you wouldn't go with a completely black outfit, you must admit that it suited him. At this point, you know you’ve been staring for quite some time, definitely more than it was allowed before it became creepy, but you couldn’t help it. He was beautiful in every single way.

Your friend came back a few minutes later, a drink in each hand to share with you. You thanked them as you quickly pulled your eyes from the stranger, starting a new conversation almost right away, hoping that the blush on your cheeks could disappear.

What you missed, though, was that handsome stranger looking back at you for a moment.

He didn’t notice your previous stare, but you can say that he was curious about the new face that just showed up at his friend’s party. Although he didn't linger on too much as he was quickly swayed away by his friends in different conversations, his eyes met yours from time to time and he could almost swear he saw you blush every time they did.

The party went by without a hitch. It was closer to midnight when the host, a tall man with curly dirty blond hair and the deepest dimples you’ve ever seen, stood in the middle of the room to announce the countdown.

People started to gather around the living room, making their way into the front and looking for someone to share the first kiss of the year, pushing you away from your friend while doing so. In a matter of seconds, you got lost in the sea of people again, you tried to push your way up to your friend again but it was almost useless. With a little huff, you turned around and knocked someone’s drink over.

“Oh my god,” You said, hiding your face in complete embarrassment “I am so sorry! I didn’t look where I was going, I-”

The man chuckled “It’s okay, sweetheart. It was a shit drink anyway”

You looked up and the sight in front of your eyes almost knocked you over. It was the same guy you were crushing on the whole night.

It was almost pathetic the way you seemed to lose all kinds of speech as you looked into his eyes. If you thought he was beautiful before, then you are sure he is breathtaking standing up close.

His brown eyes had such intensity it was impossible to look away, it was almost as he had locked you down with just a stare, and that’s without mentioning his smile. You couldn’t have noticed before, but his smile made his whole face shine, blinding you as you tried to find any kind of compliment that would fit him perfectly. How could someone have the perfect smile?

He chuckled again and you noticed that you were staring waaaay too long for it to be normal. You looked away and started fidgeting with your hands, how come you can perform surgeries and talk to other doctors and patients normally but you are at a loss of words when it comes to a cute guy?!

You were about to say something, anything to make the awkwardness of it all fade away. But the voices coming from the living room interrupted your train of thoughts again. You both looked at the crowd of people gathered a few meters away, they were all staring at the countdown on the TV as they cheered for the New Year to come.

“10, 9, 8,” They sang “5, 4, 3, 2, 1…”

And as the cheer of “Happy New Year” came, you felt two calloused hands cup your cheek and pull your face in another direction.

It was almost instantly when you felt the soft lips of that stranger on yours. The initial shock made you pull back a little before kissing him back. It was soft, sweet, and innocent, yet neither of you wanted to pull away first.

You brought your hands to the back of his neck and pulled him closer to you and his hands flew to hold your waist, still in awe of how perfectly your lips melted against his, almost like they were made for each other from the start.

But everything has an end and you both need to breathe. And, when you looked into his eyes again you knew he felt it too. There was something you couldn’t deny, call it chemistry or spark or fate, but that kiss felt like nothing you’ve ever felt before.

“Woah…” He whispered after pulling away, hands still on your waist as he tried to find an explanation for what just happened “I-”

“Calum!” Someone yelled, making both your heads snap towards an even taller guy with curly hair, seriously, where do you get these people?!

The stranger - whose name was Calum, apparently - let go of your waist as his drunk friend came over “Luke!” He said with a smile, but his eyes told another story. Was he annoyed at his friend for interrupting what was happening?

But Luke didn’t notice that, he just came over and rounded his arms around Calum’s shoulders, wishing him a happy new year and slowly walking him towards the crowd of people who were waiting for him.

You stood there shocked, not knowing what to do or what just happened. But you did notice the way he looked at you, an apology plastered into his face as he was dragged into the sea of people where you lost him once again for the rest of the night.

Two.

Another year, another party.

This time though, your friend didn’t need you to drag you out of the house like they always did because you happily agreed to attend. You told yourself it was because you needed a break from the emergency room, but if you were completely honest, it was because of the hope of seeing him again.

You haven’t seen or heard about Calum since that night at the beginning of the year. Of course, you knew you wouldn’t, you never exchanged numbers nor introduced yourselves properly and your friend told you that they didn’t know him well enough to try to hook you up and that might seem unprofessional on their part, which was right. You told yourself that it was fine and probably for the best since you started getting busier with your job, so you moved on.

Yet, that kiss still lingers on the back of your head. Yes, you went on dates and kissed other people too, but that kiss was something else and you knew he knew it too.

Subconsciously you hoped for him to remember you, to think about that kiss as often as you did. You knew it was a long shot, an almost impossible dream that could only come true in movies or cliche storybooks. After all, you were one of many people he knew and he didn’t even talk to you for more than 3 minutes! One of which you spent in awkward silence and the other you spent kissing.

And even then, your heart dared to hope.

You arrived somewhat early since your friend told you they might be a little bit late so you could ahead and meet them there. And, luckily for you, you didn’t have to go that far into the party to find a familiar face. It just so happens that this familiar face was the same face that overtook your dreams for the past year.

He looked different this time, his hair was much shorter but still held onto the curls that distinguished him from the others. He was not wearing black this time as he chose a simple outfit of jeans and a button-up white shirt with the first few buttons open enough to expose his chest and a feather tattoo that you haven’t noticed before. He was laughing along to what his friend said, sipping on his beer every few moments. You didn’t think he noticed you, but your heart skipped a beat when he looked your way and smiled.

You thought about going in and say hi, maybe even introducing yourself in the hopes that he would remember you, but you needed some liquid courage before even attempting to speak again. So instead of walking towards him, you found yourself making a B-line to the kitchen.

The kitchen wasn’t as crowded as you thought it would be, a few people here and there but they were minding their own business, something you were thankful for because you didn’t know what had come over you. You cursed under your breath, you just made a fool out of yourself! He might think you are a stalker or-

“Didn’t think of saying hello?” A voice called next to you.

You stopped the thoughts running in your head as you looked to the side, almost spilling your drink when you found the eyes you were dreaming of for over a year staring back at you.

He was smiling, a hint of tease shined on his eyes as he laid against the counter. He was still just as handsome but, weirdly enough, it wasn’t as intimidating as before. You could almost say you felt somewhat safe around him, comfortable even.

You smiled at him just the same, your sudden fear of talking to him quickly faded away. You already shared a kiss, how bad of a conversation could it be?

“Why would I say hello when we didn’t even say goodbye?” You teased, making him laugh.

If you thought his smile was beautiful, nothing prepared you for his laugh.

“Touché,” He said, extending his hand towards you “I’m Calum, by the way. Calum Hood”

You shook his hand as well “Nice to meet you, Calum. I’m Y/N”

“Pretty name for a little pretty thing like you” You laughed “I can’t believe it took us a year to finally meet. Are you an Angel or something? So you only show up when needed?”

“Are you always this charming or am I just lucky?” And that was the start of the evening.

You talked the whole night. You found out that he is the bassist of a rather famous band, he teased you about never hearing of them before and you told him that your job didn’t give you enough time to listen to music that wasn't in an elevator. When you told him that you were a doctor, he completely changed the conversation towards you, asking you questions and really getting into it as you explained to him the weirdest things you saw in the ER.

The more and more you talked you knew he was special. He made you laugh and was interested in what you had to say. He answered all your questions and talked about his family and how much he misses them around this time and it surprised you how intelligent and connected he was with his emotions. The deeper you went into the conversation, the more hooked you got.

“I’m sorry I left last year,” He said after a while. You were both standing outside in the garden as the commotion of the party became too much for both of you. So you just talked while staring at the big dark sky above you.

“Don’t be” You reassured him “We didn’t know each other and I’m surprised you remembered me at all” You laughed, but Calum didn’t follow.

“I don’t think I could forget you,” He said in a serious tone, making you turn to look at him to see if he was joking. By his face, you could tell he wasn't “I asked Ashton about you like a bunch of times, but I don’t think he even knew you were here… he’s a great host, don’t get me wrong, he just sucks on making the guest lists small enough to remember all the plus ones” He chuckled.

“You asked about me?”

“I had to know who my midnight kisser was,” He shrugged. “Almost thought I was drunk dreaming or something until I saw you enter the house tonight. I was so glad you remembered me and you didn’t think I was just a creep in the kitchen”

You both laughed this time “Well, lucky for you, I couldn't forget you either, even if I tried”

Calum chuckled as he stepped closer to you, his nose almost touching yours. One step closer and you would be in the same position you were a year before, only this time you were both sure you wanted this.

“And what about tonight?” Calum asked as one of his hands rounded your waist, making your breath hitch “Would you forget about tonight?”

You looked into his eyes, but he had his gaze fixed on your lips, waiting for just one word from you to feel them pressed against his again. You felt your soul leave your body as you realized how much you wanted this.

“I-I guess we’ll have to wait until midnight to find that out” You whispered, and, just as you said that, a thousand lights illuminated the night sky in the far distance.

You pulled away when you heard the first firework, staring in awe while Calum took his phone out of his pocket and started giggling. He showed you the time and it was in fact midnight of the New Year. You couldn’t believe your eyes.

“You timed that shit, didn’t you?” You laughed, but your voice soon drowned out as he cupped your cheek like he did last year and pulled you closer to him.

“If I told you I didn't, would you still want to kiss me?” He asked. You answered him by crashing your lips into his.

The fireworks went off in the sky and around your head, that’s the effect Calum had on you. The kiss was much different from last year’s, this one was more passionate, more mature as you both knew what you were doing. It had a different meaning now that you started to get to know one another, and you hoped you would continue to do so once the kiss was over and midnight came to pass.

You were glad to know that the spark was still there, this time even brighter than ever as he deepened the kiss a few moments later. You knew it was way too soon to think about love, but when you thought about kissing Calum, you hoped it could go on forever and ever.

This time, he pulled away first “You feel it too, right?” He asked in a breath as he held you closer.

You wanted to say yes, to scream it even. You knew about “the kiss” every single romantic movie talks about, the one everyone dreams to have at least once, and you knew this was it. Yet, all you could do was nod.

He brought your face close to him again, ready to seal your lips together one more time… you could guess what happened next.

“For fuck’s sake” Calum murmured as he heard the backdoor opening and his name being called out by one of his bandmates, Michael, you guessed since he was the only one you didn’t know already.

You could tell he was about to cuss Michael for his interruption, but you were quicker.

“Hey, it’s okay” You reassured him “You have people to see and I need to make myself a drink anyways”

Calum smiled at you, thanking you for understanding but still wishing he could stay with you a little longer, all night if it was necessary. He was about to say something when Michael called his name again. This time, Calum flipped him off.

“I’ll find you later, okay?” He said, pressing a small kiss to your lips before disappearing into the house again.

You followed him after a while and went directly into the kitchen to make yourself another drink. The smile you wore grew bigger every time you thought about the kiss and how it was almost ten times better than the first one.

Your mind started wandering towards a future where you could kiss Calum every time you wanted, where you could share evenings and go on dates and travel the world… You found yourself not minding that at all.

But before your fantasies could go any further, your friend came running towards you “There you are!” They said, “I’ve been looking everywhere for you! We need to go”

“W-what, why?!”

“The host is gone and they are kicking everyone out” They said with a shrug “His band also took off”

Calum left? Without saying goodbye again? “Where did they go?”

“From what I heard, their management asked them to go and perform some songs in a party downtown, apparently one of the bands who were going to perform originally couldn’t make it and they were called in replacement”

Okay, you couldn't get mad at that, it was his job after all and it was an emergency he couldn’t help. Still, the disappointment of not being able to see each other again tonight stung like a bee.

As you were waiting for the Uber outside of Ashton’s house, your friend asked “Hey, found your mystery kisser?” They liked to refer to Calum like that, even though they knew who he was.

You smiled “Yeah…”

“Got his number this time, right?”

Oh shit.

Three.

You were late. You were soooo late and you hated that.

Well, it’s not exactly your fault, the patient in room 304 started vomiting all around and it wasn’t his fault either that he needed to go into surgery right after (successfully if I may add) At least your job gives you good excuses.

You just hoped it wasn’t too late and that Calum would still be there.

Another year has passed and you haven’t seen each other at all since that last night in January. You knew that he was touring all year round with his band, at least you knew he was happy doing what he loved. You also tried to contact him through social media, the only problem was that you weren’t the only one and your message probably got lost between the thousands and thousands he got every day. So you spent yet another year thinking of him and dreaming about the kiss that you two shared.

This night, if everything goes right, you would change that. You wouldn’t disappear without at least giving him your number, if he still wanted it, of course. And you wouldn’t disappear without telling him how you feel.

Decidedly, you open the doors to Ashton’s house, and, just as fate’s decided, the first face you see is him.

Calum spotted you immediately, almost like he was waiting for you, and his face softened the instant he realized you were finally there. He wasted no time in walking towards the door and grabbing your hand to pull you upstairs. You didn’t even have the chance to say anything as he opened one of the doors and pulled you inside, locking it and pushing you against the door, pressing his lips on yours.

And there it was again: fireworks.

You placed your hands over his chest as you got lost inside your kiss, it felt just as good as you remembered, better even. You wondered if every time you kissed was going to be like that: utterly magical.

“It’s not midnight yet” You laughed when you pulled away to breathe. Calum chuckled.

“I don’t care,” He said with a raspy, needy voice, pressing kisses along your forehead, your nose, your cheek, your lips “I can’t wait until midnight and deal with the fear of having to leave again”

“Well, aren’t you quite the Cinderella?” You teased, making you both laugh “Are-are we really in a closet right now?” You said, taking in your surroundings in the dimmed light.

“I-.. yes” You burst out laughing again “I wanted some privacy and I thought this was the guest room!”

You silenced him with another kiss, this time sweeter than the previous one “Well, I think is cute”

Calum sighed “I’m tired of both of us not making it after midnight, I don’t think I want another year without seeing you again,” He said, stroking your face with the back of his hand.

“So, what’s the plan?”

He smiled “First, we get out of here” You grabbed his hand and nodded.

You let Calum lead the way, not just to get out of the closet, but also to get out of the house and the party completely. He took you to his car and told you to hop in.

“You are not going to murder me, aren’t you? I have house plants to take care of” He laughed.

“No, that’s the plan for Valentine’s Day” Calum teased and your heart fluttered at the thought of spending Valentine's day with him. Has he really thought about you that way as well?

He jumped in the car and started driving you around the city and through the coast as you talked about everything and anything at the same time. You catch up on your lives as you ate some MacDonalds’ you picked up on your way and you sang your lungs out to the tunes that came out on the radio to celebrate yet another year gone.

You swore you couldn’t be happier and you smiled knowing Calum felt the same.

“..And that’s why I was late today” You laugh.

“I would’ve waited for you the whole night through. But I will admit I thought you’ve given up on me” Calum said, holding your hand while turning around a street you were unfamiliar with “I wouldn't blame you if you did. But I really wanted to see you tonight”

You tugged on his hand “I told you I wouldn’t forget about you even if I tried” He smiled at that.

A few minutes later he parked his car in front of a house “It’s almost midnight” He said, unbuckling his seatbelt “And I thought that maybe this time we can spend it where no one would interrupt” You could tell that he was a bit embarrassed, but the thought of it was really sweet and you would be lying if you said you didn’t want this too.

“So this is your home,” You said as a matter of factly. Calum nodded “Then lead the way, Cal”

Once inside, he poured you a glass of wine and you sat in the living room and kept talking till midnight came around. When the clock struck 12, you were already lost in Calum’s eyes. There was something hypnotic about them that you can’t quite figure out, but also don’t want to. It was a beautiful mystery and you rather that it stayed that way.

“You won’t disappear after midnight?” You asked, face inches away from him.

“I don’t plan on going anywhere, baby,” He said as he closed the gap between the two of you.

This time there was no rush, no firework spectacle in the sky nor noisy friends who could ruin the moment you both had been waiting for an entire year. The kiss held the same passion as the ones that came before, yet you could sense in the way he moved that there was something more in this kiss, a need that only the two of you could satisfy.

“Why does every time I kiss you feel like the first time?” He asked, hands circling your waist and pulling you over his lap in a quick movement as his mouth traveled along your jaw and down your neck “Do you still remember that first time?”

You smiled, hands tangling in his curls as he left a trail of open kisses from your ear to your collarbone “I remember” You said as a breathy moan leaves your lips “I had a huge crush on you since the first time that I saw you” You confess.

Calum hums “Good thing then,” He hovered his lips over yours, gripping your hips as you started moving against him “Cause I had a crush on you since I saw you looking at me across the room”

You brought your hand to cup his cheek and kissed him as your life depended on it. This was nothing like that first kiss you shared, this was needy, dirty, sloppy… The innocence of it all crumbled away as you started to grind on him even harder than before and moaning into his ear.

Calum held your hips as he felt you press against his growing, groaning as you picked up the pace “Is this okay?” He asked, looking into your eyes for reassurance “We can stop if you want, I-”

“Calum,” You said, stopping your movements altogether, “I want this. I want you”

Next thing you know, he was kissing you again, lifting you, and carrying you to his room.

You don’t know what time it is when your phone starts ringing. You just know it’s either very late or super early. You untangled yourself from Calum who had his arm around your waist as he pulled you closer while you slept. The curly-haired man mumbled something unintelligible before turning around and going back to bed. You smiled at the sight, if you weren’t in love before then you sure are now.

The phone kept ringing, so you put on a pair of sweatpants and a shirt you assumed belonged to Calum and went downstairs where you left your phone.

“Hello?” You said as you picked it up.

“Dr. L/N? It’s Lou, from the hospital. I was assigned to Mr. Minkus-” A panicked voice said.

You froze when you remembered the patient from earlier, the one who needed an emergency surgery “Is everything okay?”

“He went into cardiac arrest a few minutes ago but we managed to control it. But he is still very weak and needs surgery right now before he-”

“I’m on my way”

You ran into Calum’s room without making much noise. You changed into your clothes and called an Uber. You hated to do it when he was still sound asleep in his bed, but people needed you and you needed to go, he will surely understand.

As the Uber parked outside, you almost forgot to leave him a note, so you scrabbled your number and your name in a random piece of paper, telling him to call you so you could explain everything when he woke up and placed it in the pocket of the jacket he wore the night before, since it was the only thing close to the door at that moment, hoping he won’t be mad when he calls.

So you slipped in your shoes and left. Leaving the man you were surely falling in love with, sleeping safe and soundly on his bed.

Four.

You were at another party at Ashton’s house and this time you were alone.

Calum was standing a few meters away from you with his hands around another’s waist.

“This is the reason,” You thought as you watched him give his significant other a kiss on the cheek “This is the reason he never called or texted after you had sex”

You felt used. Worse than trash itself as you realized he used you for a night’s only fun.

You shouldn’t even feel bad, you barely knew him after all. But why does it hurt so bad?

A year ago you thought you might love him and that he might love you… guess not.

Calum caught your eye after a while, they seem sad. Why? He is the one holding another person in his arms on New Year’s Eve.

And you are on your own. That’s what you get for believing in fairy tales.

He is still staring when you turn around to leave.

You are not waiting until midnight this year.

Five.

Calum is staring at the door like a guard dog. He doesn’t know why he is waiting for you to come around this year, after all, you were the one who left him on New Year’s day almost two years ago. He shouldn’t be waiting for you and yet, he does.

He was mad at first. Furious even, when he woke up the next day and you were gone. Not even a single word for him to find comfort with. He knew he was in love with you from the first moment he saw you and then… you left. He knew he deserved it after the times he had to leave unexpectedly, but he was still heartbroken.

The boys tried to help him, setting him up on dates that meant nothing to him. Nothing like you, at least. Their kisses didn’t light up a flame inside of him, nor made him feel like the king of the world just by laying beside them. No, that was something only you could do.

He tried to start a new relationship by the New Year, yet that came crashing down quickly after a few weeks into January. He still remembered the way you looked that night, the way your eyes filled with tears as you walked away again. He knows he should've felt something in the lines of pride or comfort or even happiness to show you that he could move on without you, but all that he felt was the tugging on his heartstrings when he saw you in pain.

So, maybe that is why he is waiting for you now. He needs to see you again, just one more time and then he’ll know what to do. He will either let go or hold on to you, whatever you give him he will take. But it’s getting late and you are nowhere to be seen.

The fear of you not showing up takes him by surprise. You might as well be at home, or at somebody else’s party wrapped in someone else’s arms for all he knows. He might’ve lost you but.. who lost who first? How could anyone be winning when all he feels is an emptiness at the possibility of not seeing you again? Even though you left him and not the other way around, he is still looking for you.

A loud thud and a scream came near the living room and shook him from his thoughts. Calum got up to his feet as people started yelling for an ambulance. He ran as fast as he could and found Ashton laying on the floor with his foot twisted to the side… it did not look good.

“Mate, what the fuck?” He asked shocked, he knew nothing about ankles and their anatomies, but it was obvious they weren’t supposed to look like that.

“I fell down the stairs and I think I broke something” Ashton hissed in pain “Have you been drinking?” He asked Calum who shook his head, already knowing the next question.

“Come, I’ll take you to the hospital”

They left Luke in charge of the party as they headed towards the nearest hospital they could find. Calum silently lamented not being there anymore in case you showed up, but he wasn’t going to let his best friend stay in a hospital room alone, especially on New Year's Eve.

Once they reached the emergency room, the nurses put Ashton in a wheelchair and took him for examination. A few minutes later he was back and now they moved him to a little bed in the corner of the room as they waited for the doctor to come by.

“I’m sorry I took you away from meeting Y/N again,” Said Ashton after a while.

Calum shook his head “Don’t be. Maybe we weren’t meant to happen after all”

But Calum knew that wasn’t true. He was a big believer in fate and that everything happened for a reason. He knew that seeing you every New Year’s Eve and sharing that kiss with you at midnight had to mean something, it couldn’t just be coincidences without a motive, a reason for that to keep happening. Yet, this would be the second year he has to spend midnight without you by his side. Maybe fate was trying to tell him something he just didn’t want to accept just yet.

And just as that thought came running through his head, the doctor opened the curtain that gave a little privacy to Ashton’s little corner. Calum almost loses his breath for a minute.

“Okay, Mr. Irwin it looks like- oh shit” You looked up from your tablet with the medical records and almost dropped it when you found Calum sitting in front of you. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

You just stare at each other for a few seconds, everything else faded away. Calum thought you looked different with your white coat and your standard uniform, yet none of that made you less breathtaking than you already were, it made you even more beautiful to his eyes.

At first, you thought it was some kind of prank. You changed shifts to work in New Year so that you won’t see his face and here he is. At your job. Next to his friend with a broken ankle.

You cleared your throat and looked away, suddenly finding Ashton’s foot a lot more interesting than it really was.

“Sorry. Looks like you broke your ankle, nothing too serious but you will have to put on a cast so it heals quicker” You didn’t look at Calum, you couldn’t “The ortho specialist will be here shortly. I’m just here to making sure the meds are working fine and that nothing else hurts”

Ashton smiled at you, it was supposed to be comforting but you saw a glimpse of teasing in them, oh this must be so funny to him “Thanks Doc”

You smiled at him and shook your head, eyes drifting towards Calum for just one second before saying “It’s not a problem, Happy New Year” and walking away.

The thoughts were running through your mind like the roadrunner. You did everything you could to avoid meeting him tonight and he still makes an appearance. Unbelievable.

You didn’t even make it five steps before Calum ran up to you “Y/N! Wait”

“I’m at work, Calum” You hissed, not turning around to face him just yet

“Yet we are your only patients” It was true, surprisingly enough, the ER has never been so quiet before. Even the nurses went to hide behind a desk to wait for midnight and drink alcohol-free cider.

You sighed tiredly, you didn’t want to play this game anymore. You slowly turned around and placed your tablet on the empty desk “What do you want from me, Cal? What do you want me to say?”

“Maybe start by saying why you left that morning without telling me?” His eyes were fixed on you, yet they weren’t angry or disappointed. They were expectant, curious about what you were going to say. He knew that this was it, the hold on or let go conversation, and how he hoped to hold on.

You, on the other hand, looked at him like he was crazy “Without saying anything? Calum I left you a note! I had an emergency surgery to attend, I explained it all there and I even left you my number! You were the one who never called and then showed up with a date the next year. How do you think that made me feel, you idiot?!”

“What note? There was no note!” He asked, clearly confused about this new information.

You groaned with exasperation, how can he be so dense? “In your coat, Calum! I left it in the pocket of the blue coat you wore that night, I couldn’t find anywhere else to put it as I was heading out”

Calum stayed silent, trying to remember the exact coat you were talking about. And, in a flash, it all came back to him. He was an idiot.

He covered his face with the palm of his hand, mortified for what he was about to say “I washed the coat the next day as it got stains of food in it” He said with a groan “I found a piece of paper in the coat after I washed it, it was destroyed and I thought it was the receipt of the food from the night before”

You stared at Calum for a moment before bursting out laughing.

Calum, on the other hand, didn’t find it as amusing as you. But the more he thought about it the more ridiculous it sounded, so he soon joined you in a fit of giggles.

All of the hurt you both endured, the pain and the heartbreak… it was all for a misunderstanding caused by detergent?

“Oh my god,” You said as you tried to catch your breath, “I thought you were done with me after we-”

“I thought you were done with me!” He replied, both of you coming down from your highs.

“Calum, I could never. I told you I would never, not even if I tried” You said with a sigh “But seeing you with another after that... “

“It meant nothing,” He assured, walking up closer to you “I admit I tried to get over you cause I didn’t know what else to do. I was falling in love with you and then you disappeared without a trace. I was so angry. But as soon as I saw you that night I knew I could never be over you, even if what we have only last until midnight”

You chuckled “We can never win past that point, can we?”

“We can try,” He said, his arm around your waist and he pulled you closer “I want to try, Y/N. I assure you I cannot make it another year without at least going on a date with you. If you let me, of course. Cause I think we’ll be pretty good together, don’t you think?”

“I think we will. As long as you check your pockets before throwing something at the washer. Cause I was falling for you too, and I don’t think I ever stopped” You threw your arms around his neck, pulling your face closer to his. You missed him like this.

You missed all of him, really. You don’t know exactly what it is that draws you to him, why after all this time of meeting once a year you feel like you knew him since forever. It was new but at the same time so familiar. You know it should scare you, but you feel safer than ever wrapped around his arms “Is it midnight yet?”

Calum shook his head and pointed to the clock upon the wall. Ten seconds.

“Nine, eight, seven…”

“Six, five, Four, three, two..”

“One.” You both said in unison as your lips met again. The kiss that you awaited all year long was finally here and it was full of promise. The promise of a future together, of security and love.

You were sure it could not be a coincidence that every year you spend it by his side, that from the moment you met, no other thought has filled your head. Every piece of you seemed to be molded perfectly to fit him and vice versa. The connection was too strong to ignore and, if you believed in soulmates, then there was no doubt Calum was yours. After all, you went through to meet every year, you knew it must be fate that brought you two together, that and a broken ankle.

Speaking of that…

“HAPPY NEW YEAR” Came Ashton’s loud voice from the corner of the room. Making you both break away from the kiss to laugh.

“He just had to keep up with the tradition of interrupting us,” Calum laughed.

“Please tell me you didn’t push him down the stairs to come and see me” You giggled as you took his hand in yours and walked up to Ashton to keep him company.

“I would’ve thrown myself from the stairs if it meant I would get to see you, darling”

That night you finally gave him your number and planned a date for the next day. But not even five minutes after they were gone, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.

“Hello?”

“I had to make sure!” You laughed as you heard Calum’s voice through the speaker.

“See you tomorrow, Cal?”

“And for all the days and years to come, baby”

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @mystic-232

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