#everything i write is for sero nation ibr

[cxvii666]

“hoe cakes”

college au! denki kaminari + hanta sero x reader

“i got this girl and she wants me to duke her, i told her i'd come scoop her around eight, she said, super!”

cw: denki and sero are on the HUNT, whole gist is denki wants to prove that a threesome with 'two guys' is better than a threesome with 'two girls'' and you're a the potential candidate, soooo mdni ig, vulgar, lowk douchebag-ish denki + sero but not really, reader is certfiied fine shyt (i dont make the rules), fem reader, bad language, college au, mostly crack, shenanigans ig, good times to follow

wc: 2k

"omg, oh my god!"

denki kaminari bursts into the library, zero tact, completely out of breath, face all flushed, chest heaving, and rushes over to where his friends are sat, nearly knocking over bakugou's laptop as he drops his backpack and practically leaps over the table, to try and talk to sero.

bakugou, who was sat minding his own fucking business, turns his head in absolute disbelief, about to swing on the guy, but pauses at denki's heavy breathing and frazzled state, kirishima's noise of concern is brushed off with a "gimme a second," as the blonde heaves for a minute, hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.

"oh sero, bro," he gasps out finally, "i just saw the baddest girl ever, you gotta come quick."

any concerns over the blondes state quickly washes away and hanta sero looks up from his phone, disinterestedly. "dude, what? where?"

denki takes the seat opposite to his best friend, and points frantically from the direction he just ran from, "outside on the quad, there was a girl, with the hair, and the eyes."

sero, kiri, and bakugou had been in the library for at least three hours now and, god, hanta was bored.

he'd given up on waiting for denki to show face and had gotten so bored that he actually started studying. but damn, he needed a break. he rolls his shoulder with a yawn as he raises an eyebrow at denki.

bakugou sends both of them a death glare before putting his headphones on. hanta pulls a face at him before stretching out his back and then relaxing into his chair, voice dropping to a mock whisper and teases, "bro said 'hair and eyes'."

"just shut up for a sec," denki hisses and slumps down on the table, partially ontop of one of hanta's textbooks, "wow, i really need to start hitting the gym, fuck, my chest hurts."

hanta rolls his eyes at his friends dramatics as he doodles in the margin of his textbook. denki takes his silence as a sign to continue.

"you gotta, just listen- soooo, i'm walking outside by that big tree on the quad becuase it's super windy and i couldn't catch a light, and, oh, i can't even describe her, but yeah, there was one loud smell, and you know me, i had to follow it and BAM there she was with sat behind the bike shed with, what's his name?" he jabs a thumb at kiri, "his friend. y'know the guy with the hair- yeah- uh, they were smoking like-"

his increasing longwinded tale, that is increasingly arising in volume, in very quiet section of the library, is cut off by, a very impolite bakugou clearing his throat, threat clear in his eyes.

it seems like hanta's brain is finally starting to switch on, as his eyes widen at the implication of his denki's words. "oh shit," he wiggles his eyebrows at his friend playfully, his voice still low, "is she still outside? i have to see this..."

"well fucking exactly!" denki 'whispers' back gesturing wildy with is arms, "that's what i've been trying to fucking say but your slow ass keeps asking me questions and-"

the blonde pauses and suddenly snatches up hanta's notebook to cover his face as he ducks.

"and what?" sero repeats, his face scrunching in confusion.

"shut- the fuck up," the break in denki's voice is comical, "holy shit, don't make it obvious, she's behind-"

sero's head whips to the side so fast, i swear there was an audible click. and sure enough, if he tilts his head, and squints to look, in the gaps in between the bookshelves, there you are.

"i said don't make it obvious, you fucking moron."

too late now.

he's staring at you unabashedly as you walk into their section behind two of your friends, easy smile gracing your features, as you all take a seat on one of the open tables across the library.

"oh shit," hanta gulps moving to look at denki, who has now leaned over the table to stare at you from over hanta's shoulder, "she does have hair and eyes."

"what did i just say fucking say, i swear, this guy-"

the blonde is too loud in his ear and hanta pushes his friend's head away with his palm, eyes still on your figure. "have you spoken to her yet?"

"what part are you not getting?" and denki gets all up in his face and pushes his own fingers into hanta's forehead in retaliation, as he repeats, exasperated, "i saw her, and then, i came straight here, to find you!"

"what, oh..." the realisation dawns on him finally and a lazy smirk creeps onto his features, "bro, your superrr freaky, i'm in, hundred percent. do you think she'll be down?"

"you're both fucking idiots, you know that, right?"

bakugou who has seemingly been listening, eavesdropping, in on their conversation, scoffed at his friends.

"i thought you were studying, kacchan?"

kirishima had been sat next to hanta, and when the question in his eyes, that flit between the two grinning fools, goes unanswered by either, bakugou sighs deeply, and points, with violent intent for sure, his mechanical pencil in the direction of the other blonde, his voice gruff, "were you not there? last friday night? when the fuck-squad was playing 'would you rather', talkin' bout-"

"about threesomes!" denki cuts in, grin manic, as hanta snickers opposite him, "ok kiri, lemme' ask you, because we've been debating for like two days, would you rather a threesome with another guy, or two girls? because i- said another guy-"

"wait i am so lost, what-"

"fellas, is it gay to want a threeway with your homie?"

"bro, hear me out, but this might be fate."

hanta's reply is muffled through a mouthful of pizza.

after not getting kicked out of the library, the two decided, denki decided and hanta had the evening off work, to go into town. initially, denki had sold hanta the idea of beer and ramen, but by the time they got to the high street, the smell of pizza seemed to be calling.

the pizza place was local, and extremely well known by their friend group, and the two had stumbled in, many a night, drunk, or faded, or both. and, directly opposite, happened to be, a record shop.

they'd been in there with jirou maybe once or twice, but it was one of those old buildings that always looked closed.

like right now. from out of the big glass window on the left side of their favourite booth, and they could see the shop front, the lights were out, windows all shut down.

and guess who was right outside of their fucking window, across the street, unlocking the front door.

"where tf are you going?" hanta coughs out in between bites rolling his eyes, because of course, denki is already grabbing his hoodie and fixing to stand up. like they reaally couldn't sit down and eat for five minutes.

"fym, where am i going," he mimics- "a golden opportunity," and again, denki is waving his hands about like a maniac, gesturing vaguely upwards, like universe or some other divine entity had blessed them and hanta was stupid for not getting it, "has just been handed to us, and you don't wanna jump on it?"

it's silent for a beat, only broken by hanta slurping noisily from his straw. he takes a moment to burp loudly and to glance forlornly at their hot pizza. he closes his eyes and sighs, already mourning the taste of the cheese on his tongue, before he resigns himself to whatever the fuckmess of a two man step denki is planning.

"jump on it?"

"jump on it."

"jum- y'know what, fine, lets go, and you can do all the talking."

"i can't believe you forgot your key again."

the disc your holding nearly slips from your grasp as you move your phone from your ear and set it on the till counter. you click the speaker on and the sound of your coworker's rushed apologies flood the empty store.

you silently shake your head at her panic and place the stray disc back onto the cd tower whilst trying to reassure her softly. it was no big deal, you were already in the area, no, it's not a problem, blah blah.

once the line drops, you figure you might as well start opening the store for the evening and start by switching the big speaker on and slowly turning up the volume. whatever album that was already queued starts playing as you start clearing the area around the cash register.

as you card through the cds on the display rack, mentally making note of what needs to be switched out, nodding your head to the beat of the music, the bell jingles softly and footsteps pattern inside.

you don't look up and instead go to grab some receipt paper and pen, "that was quick, you said fifteen minutes."

you continue scratching out mixtape names onto the paper and humming along to the music. before you freeze, when you hear what sounds like a chuckle, a distinctly male chuckle.

"i haven't said anything yet."

the blonde speaks and you don't have time to think before you're brandishing your pen in front of you defensively like its a small plastic sword.

denki yelps, dramatic, and hanta looks like he's about burst out laughing, but when he looks at you, like looks at you, at the crinkle in your eyes and the bounce of your hair, he swallows his laughter with a cough.

"d'you greet all your customers like this, or are we just special?"

his voice is smooth, and you lower the pen, but not your gaze, trying not feel to too embarrassed, and shoot back, "well i don't know, do you always creep up on people like that?"

hanta's face twitches into a smile, as you roll your eyes, check the time. you'll finish clearing up, your coworker will arrive, and she can tend to the weird hot guys nosing around the shop, as payment for making you come in.

except it seems denki has other plans, and has recovered from his initial shock, as he's sauntered right up to the cash desk and its fiddling about with the display items. hanta scoffs silently at his act and turns to card his fingers through the vinyls stacked neatly on the main table.

the blonde clears his throat, once, twice, "aren't you-" and then he squints his amber eyes in fake recognition, "don't we have a class together?"

you look up from where you'd been reordering some cd cases to take in his features. the gentle slope of delicate nose, his bright eyes, the poorly dyed streak in his hair, the half smirk half smile painting his pretty pink lips.

"hmmm, no, i don't think so."

"no, no, i swear, aren't you in our uh, english lit class, right dude."

hanta snorts and your eyes lock across the shop. his narrow in thought, then he taps his chin like he's remembering something.

"y'know what, she does look kinda familiar." identical cheeky smirks dressing both of their faces, "maybe we do have a class together."

your laugh may be short, sarcastic, but it's light and airy, a soft exhale. "did you guys come in here to buy something, or just to waste my time?"

"and no, we don't have any classes together," your gaze floats from denki, and the way his hair softly falls about his face, "'think i woulda noticed you," to hanta's eyes, warm and brown watching carefully, like something is so heavily amusing to him. "both of you."

neither of them make to move from where their feet are planted on the carpeted floor. and you smirk when you hear the jingle of the door bells for the second time.

hands flying into action, you grab the pen again and scribble another note and slap it onto the counter. your sleeve brushes against denki's, and before he can even feel the static shock of the friction, you're grabbing your phone and your bag, and making your way to the front of the store, and waving your coworker goodbye.

the store echoes with the jingle for the third time.

and resting on the counter, next to denki's arm is the paper you left.

with your number on it.

WHATS UP GAMERS!!!!!!!!!!!! it is nearly 5am and i have to be up for work in maybe three hours if i jit snooze a shit ton anyways,,,, new series ig but not really FOR NOW standalone also lowk im love seeping my music taste in fics idk what it is,,, something about indoctrinating the masses or something gay and evil like that anyways if ur still here hope u enjoyed ily x