#everything can be made about 13 and yaz if you try hard enough

[dreadfuldevotee]

Ruby: Yeaaaah, The Doctor just constantly trauma dumped on me starting from the day we met

Yasmin Khan, who has finally been convinced to come back to companion support group after finding out that The Doctor settled down with a family 48 hours after leaving her: I have to leave

[riversofmars]

Prompt - - Post Library River coming to live in the Tardis with 13 and finding everything a complete mess or things just not done properly. (bonus if you do something about the waste tanks on deck 7)

Thank you for a brilliant prompt, hope you like it! <3

Word count: 1500

Rating: G

Call For Help

“Ah there you are, hello Swee… what the…“ River stopped mid-sentence as she closed the door behind herself and looked around the TARDIS. The TARDIS gave an unhappy wheeze and whimper and River was utterly dumbfounded.

“Right, okay, I see why you called.“ River gave the TARDIS a reassuring smile as she stepped over a large pile of tools. The console room was a mess, there was stuff everywhere. Tools, equipment, books, sheets of paper, blueprints, charts, messy notes… “Has she gone full on mad scientist now?“ River asked as she picked up some notes. The TARDIS just hummed helplessly. “Where is she?“

“How did you get in here?“ A voice sounded at the far end of the control room and River looked up.

“Oh, hello there.“ She greeted Yaz with a smile. “Door was open.“

“You can’t just walk inside the TARDIS.“ Yaz stated, unsure what to make of this mystery woman.

“Fair enough, she let me in, let’s say it was a call for help… looks like I got here just in time.“ River gestured to the mess all around.

“The TARDIS called you?“ Yaz frowned. She had never seen the woman before but so far, she didn’t appear dangerous.

“So where’s the Doctor hiding away?“ River asked with a kind smile, trying to reassure her. She realised that this was probably the first time Yaz was meeting her. Life as a time traveller was complicated, she couldn’t be sure. “Is she okay? Because this doesn’t inspire confidence… what happened?“

Yaz hesitated for a moment. It was obvious that this woman knew the Doctor and that the concern in her voice was genuine. The TARDIS’s encouraging humming convinced her to answer at last:

“Well, some of our friends decided to stay back on Earth and stopped travelling with us… she didn’t take it too well. I think it reminded her of the people she’d lost before now… But she keeps saying, not all those endings were final and there are some things she could fix, given time… so…“

“She threw herself into all sorts of research trying to undo past mistakes?“ River concluded and the TARDIS wheezed with confirmation too.

“I guess… We were meant to go travelling but she got sidetracked…“ Yaz help up the mop and bucket she was carrying. “Now the only travelling I’m doing is down to Deck 7 to clean up…“

“Waste tanks?“ River asked with a compassionate smile. “She always forgets those are down there…“

“Got emptied during some experiment or other… how do you know that’s what’s on Deck 7?“ Yaz frowned, feeling like she needed more information about her.

“The TARDIS and I go way back.“ River answered with a chuckle.

“So you’re a friend of the Doctor’s?“ Yaz confirmed.

“You could say that.“ River smiled. “Like I said, the TARDIS called for help, so here I am.“

“Are you going to get her out of her funk?“ Yaz asked hopefully. The Doctor had been very hard work the past few weeks.

“I shall certainly try my best.“ River confirmed. “Care to show me where she’s hiding?“

“This way.“ Yaz smiled and gestured for her to follow.

River followed Yaz and even the corridors along the way were messy. Things had been dropped, left for later or simply forgotten about.

“Doctor?“ Yaz called out as she opened the door to what River knew to be one of the many on-board laboratories.

“Not now, Yaz, really critical phase here, if I don’t get this to the right frequency it won’t work against the Vashta Nerada and you and me will be very sad looking skeletons.“ The Doctor retorted working some sort of huge transmitter.

“She keeping going on about this, really incredibly cheerful subject.“ Yaz sighed to River who just shook her head in disbelief at the state she was finding the Doctor in. The lab was even worse than the rest of the TARDIS. Equipment and books were stacked high, left over and forgotten about food and drinks was scattered everywhere. There were about five open packets of custard creams and amongst it all, the Doctor was wearing huge goggles to complete the messy scientist look. It seemed as though she hadn’t left this room in days.

“And once you get past the Vashta Nerada, what are you going to do then?“ River called out but the Doctor didn’t look up, she didn’t even seem to register someone else apart from Yaz being there.

“Well, there are several options, android body, clone, download to my phone for the time being if anything else fails.“ The Doctor replied with a shrug. “Damnit!“ She exclaimed when the transmitter she was working on suddenly started sparking and shut itself down.

“Or you could arrive a bit earlier than planned, before the Vashta Nerade swarm the place and destroy the body. You know Timelords, even ones that don’t have any regenerations left, take forever to die…“ River suggested watching in amusement how the Doctor still hadn’t realised she was there.

“My regenerative energy, theoretically my supply could be limitless…“ Her suggestion seemed to have reached the Doctor as she seemed to be contemplating it. “If she’s not dead yet, I could give some to her and… Yaz, that’s brilliant!“ The Doctor exclaimed as the penny dropped.

“Wasn’t actually me that suggested that…“ Yaz replied and River chuckled:

“You’ll have to forgive her, she’s probably not slept in days.“

“More like weeks…“ Yaz sighed.

“What…“ The Doctor turned towards them and took her goggles of, staring at them in shock.

“Yes, dear, I’m not a figment of your imagination. The TARDIS is rather concerned about you and I can see why…“ River smirked and gave her a little wave. “Love what you’ve done with the place…“ She looked around shaking her head at the mess in front of her.

“River…“ The Doctor spoke softly, not knowing whether to believe her eyes or not.

“Hang on, you’re River? River is who she’s trying to save!“ Yaz’s head whipped around as it occurred to her that she never bothered to ask for her name.

“It would appear so.“ River grinned.

“River, how are you here.“ The Doctor stepped closer and nearly fell over a pile of plates.

“Spoilers.“ River chuckled with a wink. “The TARDIS thought you might need a bit of cheering up and to show you that, yes, you will figure this out.“

“You just told me how to save you!“ The Doctor exclaimed as she skipped over the last obstacle and flung herself at River. River laughed and hugged her tightly.

“Did I?“ She feigned innocent. “I’m pretty sure you just figured that out for yourself. Secret to a successful marriage, Yaz. You put ideas in your spouse’s head and make them think they were their ideas all along, works every time.“ She winked at the young girl next to her as she let go of her wife.

“You’re… married?“ Yaz asked in surprise. The Doctor hadn’t exactly been forthcoming with information about the mystery woman she was so keen to save.

“Not even death can do us apart.“ River smiled and the Doctor tried her best to cover up the effect River’s sudden appearance was having on her. With a little sniff, she quickly wiped her face, trying to compose herself.

“You let your wife die, Doctor?“ Yaz crossed her arms in front of her chest and frowned at the Doctor accusingly.

“I didn’t know she was my wife at the time…“ The Doctor replied averting her eyes in embarrassment. “And I’m trying to fix it, okay?“

“Yes and maybe you should also try tidying up around yourself every now and again, hm?“ River suggested playfully. “Eventually the TARDIS will kick you out… Like the last time you exploded inside her, she tipped you out.“

“She told you about that?“ The Doctor exclaimed.

“She tells me everything.“ River shrugged.

“Who’s side are you on?“ The Doctor called into the laboratory.

The TARDIS gave a wheeze and a hum that made River grin and the Doctor groan. Yaz laughed, the answer was pretty obvious without her being able to understand her like the other two seemed to.

“Get tidying, Doctor.“ River chuckled and hooked her arm around Yaz’s. “Let’s have afternoon tea, Yaz, get to know each other. You come join us when you’re done, Doctor!“ She waved goodbye to her wife and set off down the corridor towards the kitchen with Yaz.

“Do I not even get a kiss?“ The Doctor called after them.

“Not until you’ve tidied up your mess.“ River called back and Yaz laughed. She was sure that having the Doctor’s wife around would prove to be fun.

[whittakerjodie]

Ex Machina

Request: Can u pls do a 13 x reader where when first judoon catch 13, reader is with her and ended up in prison too when u tried to shield the doctor? But 13 negotiate ur release from prison despite ur protest. She assumed ur safe back on earth. After jack broke her out, she found out from the fam that they never see u again. What happened to u?

Words: 1.7k 

Authors Note: This isn’t like, super explicit love stuff I guess? but I really liked the concept and stuff. I hope you like it regardless! Thank you for requesting. SPOILERS FOR REVOLUTION OF THE DALEKS

Nothing was ever supposed to get onto the TARDIS, through its defenses. Yet the Judoon had broken in with extreme ease, with the sole intent of taking the Doctor away. Although she was usually the one protecting you, the roles were reversed since she was the target. You stepped in front of her as they vaguely stated her sentence, not realizing what exactly you’d just gotten yourself into.

With a flash, you were no longer on the space-time machine but in a dark room. The only light source was a small window, if you could call it that. In reality, it was just a small rectangular cut out of the wall, which appeared to be made of rock. Slowly, though, other lights worked to make things visible for you. You were standing on another rock, in the center of the room. Quickly you stepped off of it, looking around frantically.

The Doctor and the Judoon were nowhere to be found; you were alone.

“Hello?!?” You yelled. You sprinted over to the wall, setting your hands against it. It was cold to the touch and non responsive. Knocking against it hurt your knuckles, but you couldn’t give up. You shouted again, hoping to catch the attention of someone nearby. The only response you got, though, was a loud snarl from the other side of the wall. You jumped back with a gasp. You were alone in the room, but not in the entire building. (Assuming you were in a building in the first place)

“Where am I?” You whispered to yourself. There was another underlying question at the forefront of your mind: where was the Doctor?

______

Immediately when she arrived in her own cell, the Doctor thought of you. She knew you weren’t dead; the Judoon had simply used a teleportation device. But you had jumped in front of her, and likely experienced the effects of that. At that point, she had to assume that you were in the same place as her, just in a different room or area. If not- no, she didn’t want to consider the idea of you being lost somewhere.

It was a couple of days later when she was able to talk with a Judoon representative. Just asking wasn’t enough, but her questionable behaviour- such as attempting to eat part of her cage- was enough to earn some scolding. It was annoying, but a nice enough opening for her to be able to ask about her situation.

“Where is my friend? Y/N, they were in front of me when you brought me here. I think they might have come here too.”

“Judoon officers are not allowed to disclose prisoner information,” The Judoon grunted. The Doctor tensed against her chair. She could deal with whatever punishment they thought necessary for her. But she wouldn’t accept your imprisonment for no reason. They’d also mentioned a life sentence when they took the both of you. Her life sentence in particular- and that was significantly longer than however long you could last.

“What if I give you something in return?” the Doctor tried. It was her last bargaining chip- her only bargaining chip, in fact. “Y/n didn’t do anything. They don’t know as much as I know about the universe. For all they knew they were protecting me from danger. They don’t deserve to be here, please.”

The Judoon paused, then looked at what the Doctor assumed was one-way glass. They nodded at the glass after a few moments. “What information can be offered?”

“Information about me. Who I am, what I've done. I don’t know everything but I’m willing to tell you everything you do know.”

Almost a day and 7000 extra charges later, she had finally finished telling the Judoon whatever information they asked for. Nearly her entire life; everything she knew to be true as of that moment. It was a lot, and she wasn’t looking forward to dealing with the consequences of admitting it. But the Judoon promised that they would release you, and that was enough for her to justify it all.

______

Promises are rarely ever kept, unfortunately, especially when it comes to law enforcement and the justice system. Completely unaware of what the Doctor had just given up for you, the days dragged on. At one point, a Judoon officer came. They explained that your charges were minor enough to warrant an exchange to a smaller, less solitary prison.

Your heart rate was nearly strong enough to drill through the rock walls as another Judoon joined you. The two officers lead you through the corridors where you could see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing except for your own fear. How were the Doctor or your friends supposed to get you out when they were moving you? They would have no idea where you were going…

Your throat felt tighter than the shackles around your wrist as you were brought further and further away from the cell you’d already spent a couple weeks in. Panic was beginning to fully take hold of you, preventing you from making any decisions or ideas of escape. You weren’t sure what to do, if anything could be done at all.

“Prisoner 5506, yes?” A familiar voice. 

________

“Hi, I was in space jail!” The Doctor said cheerfully. Yaz, Graham, and Ryan were staring at her with wild eyes, the contents of the flat tossed about in the wind the TARDIS had created. She could’ve landed in a better place, but she was much too excited to see you and her other companions.

The confusion set in, though, when she noticed there were only three people in the flat. That confusion was exacerbated when Yaz roughly shoved her back, yelling that they were worried about her. As her face fell, the reality settled in. Clearly she’d been late again. How could she have been so careless flying the TARDIS? She had imagined that everything had been programmed right. She was wrong- and her best friends had paid a hard price because of it.

“How long have I been gone? A week?” the three shook their heads. “Two weeks?”

When they told her that she had been gone 10 months, she felt even more weight be suddenly added to the one she was already struggling to bear. The gap, which she had initially assumed to be small, had expanded into a massive chasm. With you not in the room, she began to feel worried that you’d fallen into it.

“Where’s Y/N?”

Neither of them needed to speak; the confusion in their eyes was enough to answer the Doctor’s question. Any following words were a courtesy that only served to pause her hearts in her chest.

“They were with you,” Ryan said darkly.

“Th-They left, ran after you-” Graham added. The Doctor broke through his words with her own.

“No, no, I know that, they were in jail with me, then the Judoon sent them back” She searched the faces of Ryan, Yaz, and Graham. Even Jack, who seemed just as confused. “They sent them back.” She finished with a whisper.

“I only came there for you,” Jack said. Before the Doctor could protest, he clarified: “I only came there for you, because you were the only one there.”

“No, no, that can’t be true,” She shook her head, panic starting to build. “I was in there for- for years, decades and if I was..”

She trailed off, unable to finish the question. The room felt silent as the horrible probability crawled across everyone.

Had you…?

_________

In hindsight, you shouldn’t have gone with him. You could’ve told the Juddoon who he was, what he did, why he did it. What he was probably going to do with you now. But your mouth would not open, your tongue would not move. Your legs, however, were operating on a different agenda. You followed him into the transport vehicle, knowing that it was not such a simple transport.

When the door shut, you felt like your fate had been sealed.

“Why?” Was all you could ask.

“That’s a stupid question,” The Master scolded. “Not sure what I was expecting, though.”

He grumbled his way through the sentence, though his face portrayed a dangerous level of glee. Like he’d laid a trap. He hadn’t, though. He was simply reaping the benefits of another's. How fitting of the Master, to essentially get another to do his dirty work for him.

“Sit.” He commanded. His TARDIS was still mostly the dirty shack that O had lived in. You were surprised, given the Master’s flair, that he had not improved on the design. The couch nearly sunk to the floor as you followed his command. You supposed, with the speed you followed his orders, that he could’ve hypnotized you. But truthfully, you were just too scared to do anything else. “First try, hm? Is this how far her pets have fallen...?”

“I’m not her pet-”

“But you went to prison for her didn’t you? And you know what would’ve happened if I hadn’t come to get you, don’t you.” By this time, he had walked across the length of his TARDIS to stare down at you from above. Another way to show who had the upper hand here.

“I would’ve…” Hell, you didn’t know. You’d been in there for a week, at least, judging by how many times you’d slept and done the odd daily routine. How much longer would they have kept you in there?

“Aww,” The Master cooed mockingly. “Too bad. One prison to the next!”

“But I’m not worth anything to you,” You tried, voice accidentally dripping with anxiety. “You can’t even fight the Doctor, she's still in prison.”

“Oh, but not for long.” The Master pointed out, returning to his console. The space time machine was in flight, taking you far away from the prison you’d been kept in. Far away from the Doctor. “I think we both know she’ll find her own way out. And when she does, I have a nice little bargaining chip for our next meeting”

You shrunk back into the couch as he threw his head back and began to laugh, wondering when exactly this next meeting would be- and how it would end.

[morganas-pendragons]

13 | Vulnerability

Let me tell you, I haven’t been so inspired to write anything for Doctor Who on here anymore but this episode was.. WOW. These are headcanons! Because 13 is small and sad! And needs assurance!

SPOILERS FOR 12x05

- when you meet thirteen, she's all rainbows and sunshine and smiles and joy

- you take her hand without hesitation because that's what the doctor does

- she wants you to run with her because she's lonely

- and you do

- that woman knows everything about you

- but the longer you run with her, the more you see that she tries so hard to hide, to keep from your knowledge

- she despises physical touch

- she uses smiles and laughter and light-hearted jokes as a coping mechanism so you don't see what lays underneath it

- and what you're desperate to pull from her doesn't emerge until the fam comes around

- it comes in fire and ash and grief

- you're not supposed to be here, you're supposed to be in your room

- but you are witness to the doctor's silent suffering

- and so you wait, you wait and wait and wait because she's rejecting any form of comfort you want to offer

- after ruth and the judoon, after jack, you find her sitting in the console room

- you sit down two steps behind her, just out of reach but close enough to rest your shoes gently on either side of her hips

- she stiffens and you wait for the sharp tongue, for the anger and the insistence to be alone

- it doesn’t come 

- "i don't understand your suffering, doctor. i don't understand your grief and your rage and your guilt, but i have no doubt in my mind that i do understand you. Or at least to the best of my ability."

- Thirteen has been trying so hard to not crumble because the fam can't know, they're supposed to know the person that Twelve's promise made her

- she's supposed to laugh hard, run fast and be kind

- but the longer she holds in that emotion that's threatening to overwhelm her, the angrier she becomes and she'll eventually explode

- "Nothing has brought me greater joy then being here with you. Nothing compares to seeing the universe with your own eyes." A pause. "And nothing has brought me greater heartache to see you suffering the way you are and be helpless to give you what you're so desperately seeking."

- you move down a step, your thighs are pressed against her back

- the doctor doesn't move, so you keep going

- "you're not a murderer, you're not your rage, you're not your past. that doesn't own you. you own you. if it weren't for you, i'd never learned to conquer my fear of the unknown or get to see the universe with my own eyes. You're a healer, a wise woman, a hero and someone who brings people together instead of apart. You don't need to run anymore."

- that's when the first tear comes

- your arms slink around her shoulders, and you're surprised when she doesn't flinch

- "​​​​​​​You don't have to go at the world alone anymore, Doctor."

- the doctor crumbles in your arms then

- that tiny, tiny woman allows you to envelop her

- her tears soak your skin

- and her heart breaks beneath your capable hands

- but you don't let go, you're never going to let go, because she needs you

- you and ryan and graham and yaz

- your ​​​​​​​family

- you don't ask her what the cause of her suffering is, you don't pry into what you don't need to know and you don't ask her about her ghosts

- she's safe, and because she's safe, she's vulnerable

- that insufferable, ancient woman lays her battered heart at your feet

- "why did you wait so long? why are you not like the others, why do you not want to know?"

- you smile the exact same way she did the first time she slammed that tardis lever and took you into the unknown

- "​​​​​​​I don't think you've ever known safety, and there's nothing i want more for you then to feel safe with me, doctor."

- you leave her alone after that with your words of affirmation (that's how she receives love the best, by the way)

- your human body is eventually accustomed to 3 AM visits when a tiny timelady clad in striped pajamas and a massive jumper starts coming to your room

- you've never envisioned the doctor as anything other then this indestructible force of nature carrying a hurricane built over thousands of years of fighting within her

- the hurricane calms when you're around

- because she doesn't have to be strong, she doesn't have to be the person you believe her to be

- she can just be her: small, sad, broken, ancient and terrified 

- and she's never felt safer or more loved 

[backtothebog]

can we talk about how young yaz looked when the doctor told her to get off of her, she looked like a kicked puppy. she went for her devastated but confident but was so harshly told to back away by the doctor. that was another moment where the team structure was not flat. she saw the doctor’s rage, she acknoledged her allmighty position. the doctor put her in her place but this time way more personal than before. yaz tried to fight for her and the doctor answered annoyed as if she was talking to a pushy child. and that is exactly how yaz reacted. those were the eyes of a child, hurt and lost

the doctor quickly turned soft again after she saw that exact face, you can see the change in 13′s expression when she saw how much she had hurt yaz and added that calm “please”. it was softer but still an order to stay back

i am not surprised that that was the moment when yaz gave up and admitted defeat, when she let “her person” go to certain death because she was the little child next to this ancient creature. yaz has built up so much confidence and gained so much hope and happiness from travelling with the doctor that she even got her own doctor-like speech of hope, spreading everything she has learned from the doctor. she was always bright and courageous but the doctor still added so much to her live and behaviour, gave her so much security and stability

but we must not forget she was literally 19 when she joined thirteen, I think now two years have passed which would make her 21. the doctor always tried to keep the illusion that the fam was on eyelevel. they never really wear because even graham is a baby compared to the 2000-3000 years the doctor can remember of her life. yaz thinks she can play with the big kids, she looks up to the doctor but still sees her as exqual and a friend instead of a guarding force that hovers above her and basically keeps humans as pets to not feel too lonely in the vastness of time and space.

the doctor has made her position clear now more than once and has commanded her fam around, especially that brave bullhead yaz, more than once by now.

yaz was still trying, though. yaz was still trying to keep the doctor whom she considers her person (though I guess she knows deep down inside that the doctor might not think about her the same way) from not walking into her doom

but when the doctor yanked herself out of yaz’s grip with such raw force yaz knew that the doctor was both determined and not caring enough about her too stay

and that broke that little girl’s heart. you can see her heart break. and the doctor saw it too. that change on her face, 13 was so hurt herself when she realized how much she just had hurt yaz. there was no going back. there was no emergency plan. she loves her fam, she loves humans and she loves this universe and that’s why she had to go. but she didn’t love them her unconditionally - something i am sure yaz does in return

she has blindly followed the doctor on so many occasions now, the latest example would probably walking right into that portal without any doubt and hesitation. all fears are pushed back when it comes to the doctor

and the doctor didn’t return that, the doctor didn’t want yaz to stay, didn’t want to keep her around at all costs. it was to protect her, of course, it was because the doctor does return a love of some kind, but not the kind of love that means sacrificing a greater good for a single person (or small group of people)

in that moment yaz was that little insecure girl again. the girl back there on the street in the middle of nowhere ready to run from her life in one way or another. she was saved by the police woman and saved a second time by the doctor who reassured her in everything the police woman had promised her

there was someone out there in the universe, a funky little alien who noticed her, who saw she was bright, who considered her to be something very special

yaz might have put an unhealthy amount of emotions into the doctor and got hooked on her presence like she is a drug for her. yaz has found her will to live even before the doctor appeared but the doctor reinforced that. the doctor gave her the little bit of confidence she was still lacking. but yaz has made herself very dependent on the doctor because of that. she already demanded more time with her without even knowing her just because she felt seen by that strange woman in a blue box. she was so young and naive she went in head-first, was so reckless to impress her, so fearless to be just like her new found idol crush

the beginning of the season was already the beginning of the end though, the doctor became even more distant and so seemingly uncharacteristically snappy but that didn’t impress yaz. she was hurt whenever the doctor showed her her place, yaz followed the rules but didn’t give up the doctor because she was still clinging to her because she was making her feel alive and seen nevertheless

and then right there yaz was fully taken aback, pushed back into her insecure, hurt and scared old self. that little bullied teenager who thinks she has no one in her life that sees her true self again, no one she can turn to

the one person she really without any doubt thought was different just proved to be just like anyone else from her perspective. i am sure that, even when they will be reunited in the future, that one moment when the doctor chose not her will have a lasting effect on her relationship. it will be very hard yor yaz to recover from that punch in the guts, even though that was not what the doctor intended at all, she was just as hurt and devastated herself

the doctor has become yasmin’s very personal center of the universe by now (and tbh that had already happened very early on in season 11)

13 was her reason to find joy in life, her reason feel alive, her reason to live

but right there in that moment the doctor told yaz that she was not enough to keep the doctor alive

and yaz didn’t matter enough to the doctor to continue being yaz’s reason to be alive

yaz was not enough for the doctor to to keep on living 

all that was left in that moment was hurt little child

lost once again alone in the universe

[hotdog-frenchfries]

13 meeting some of her previous companions? Maybe Amy and Rory? 😊

Thank you so much! Ik it's not perfect and it might not be what you were expecting, but here you go:

“Doctor! What’s happening?” Yaz yelled, grabbing onto the TARDIS control console, as the TARDIS hurtled its way through space. “The TARDIS is taking us somewhere.” The Doctor shouted, scrambling to her feet. “Where?” Yaz cried. “I’m not sure. She obviously thinks we’re needed somewhere.” Confused, the Doctor attempted to get to the console, as the floor shifted, pulling her to the ground again. Gradually, the TARDIS halted to a stop. The Doctor slowly got up and made her way to the door, with Yaz following her. She poked her head round the door. They were on the roof of an old, abandoned hotel in the middle of the night. The wind was blowing fiercely, making her long coat fly out from behind her. Carefully, the Doctor made her way to the edge of the roof. In front of her, she could see tall skyscrapers looming from the streets. They were in New York in 1940. This city was filled with so many memories: she recalled climbing up the Empire State Building with Ian, Barbara and Vicki, defeating the Cult of Skaro with Martha and teaming up with Lucy and Grant aka The Ghost to battle Shoal of the Winter Harmony with Nardole. Most recently, she had met Nikola Tesla with Yaz, Ryan and Graham and ended up fighting the Skithra. However, no matter how many adventures she had in this city, New York would always be a painful reminder of the night she had lost the Ponds to the Weeping Angels. It just so happened that the TARDIS had brought them to the very hotel where Amy and Rory were being held. 1940, that meant they had been trapped for two years. Why had the TARDIS brought her here? Were the Ponds in danger? “Doctor,” The sound of Yaz’s voice jolted her out of her reverie. “Are we in New York? What year is this?” The Doctor turned to her quickly. “Yaz, listen to me. We are in New York, in the year 1940. I’ve been to this hotel before, with some friends, only it was in 1938, and they didn’t make it back with me. I need you to stay close to me. I can’t lose you too. This hotel is guarded by Weeping Angels, one of the most dangerous species in the universe. They take the form of stone statues and are quantum-locked, which means that they can only move when unseen. But they’re extremely fast, which is one of the reasons they’re so dangerous. If you see a statue, any statue, don’t turn your back and don’t blink.” Yaz nodded. Although, she rarely mentioned them, Yaz knew that the Doctor had lost many close to her before she had started travelling with her. Part of her wished that the Doctor would open up to her, Yaz knew better than to open up old wounds, but she couldn’t stand how the Doctor blamed herself for all the deaths, especially when she had done so much to save others. She was often reminded that one day, Yaz too could get herself hurt or killed, whilst travelling with the Doctor, but she knew the risks and that she would never leave the Doctor, if she could help it. “Why did the TARDIS bring us here?” Yaz asked. “I don’t know. I think that my friends, the ones I lost, might be in danger.” The Doctor answered. “We need to get inside the hotel.” “You mean, they’re still alive?” Yaz responded, confused. It wasn’t like the Doctor to abandon her friends when they could still be saved. She wondered what had happened at this hotel. “The Angels rarely kill. Instead, once they get close to you, they send you back in time and feast upon your time energy like parasites. I did try to save them – the Ponds – my friends, however the Angels got them in the end. To save them would have created a time paradox, and they told me not to risk it.” “Tell me about them, the Ponds.” Yaz asked. “They were a couple – Amy and Rory. Amy was brave and kind and adventurous. She was determined, she would rarely give up on anything, she put her mind to. Rory was honest and compassionate and protective. He had so much empathy, and would never have abandoned anyone. They were so loyal and would have gone to the ends of the Earth for each other. One time, Amy was trapped in this box called the Pandorica and Rory protected her for 2000 years. It was only supposed to be Rory trapped in this hotel, but Amy refused to let him be trapped alone.” The Doctor smiled sadly. “Anyway, enough stories, we need to find a way into this hotel.”. Carefully, Yaz and the Doctor climbed down the stairs on the side of the hotel, until the Doctor told Yaz to stop at a certain floor. Using her sonic screwdriver, the Doctor opened the window and crawled through, Yaz following her. They had ended up in a corridor of doors. On each door was a name, Yaz assumed that each door led to a hotel room, where each of the Weeping Angel’s victims were being held captive. “We need to find the door labelled Rory Williams.” The Doctor told Yaz, as they crept through the corridor, glancing at each door. “It’s here.” Yaz gestured to one of the doors. Silently, the Doctor opened the door. “Who’s there?” A female voice with a Scottish accent asked, making Yaz jump. “Amy?” the Doctor breathed. “Who are you and how do you know my wife’s name?” a male voice asked. The lights suddenly turned on. Yaz could see a tall, pretty woman, a couple of years older than herself, with long red hair and dark hazel eyes, standing behind a man, about the same age, with light brown hair and eyes. The Doctor’s face broke into a huge smile, Yaz couldn’t remember the last time she had seen the Doctor this happy. “Amy, Rory, it’s me! I’m the Doctor!” “You’re not the doctor,” the man, who Yaz assumed was Rory, said. “For one, you’re a woman.” “Of course, regeneration, I have a new face. Please Ponds, it is me!” The Doctor turned to Amy. “Amy, my TARDIS crashed into your garden when you were a child. You were praying for Santa to fix the crack in your wall. You invited me in and we ate fish fingers and custard! Rory, you used to think I was just Amy’s imaginary friend, the Raggedy Doctor. Then I came back, and we got Prisoner Zero back into its prison. I haven’t seen you since you were captured by the Weeping Angels, but now I’ve come back. I know I look different but I am the Doctor!” Amy stepped forwards from behind Rory. “Doctor, it is you!” she cried, running up to her and giving the Doctor a hug. The Doctor’s smile grew, it felt so good to be back with the Ponds! “Who is she” asked Rory, gesturing to Yaz. “Oh, of course!” The Doctor let go of Amy and moved so the Ponds could see Yaz properly. “This is Yaz, we travel together. She helped me to get inside the hotel and find you.” Yaz waved shyly. “Hi. I’ve heard so much about you.” “Hi Yaz, thank you for looking after the Doctor.” Amy smiled friendlily and Rory nodded gratefully. The Doctor rolled up her sleeve to reveal a vortex manipulator. “Who wants to go on a trip?” “Is that possible, Doctor? What about the Angels?” asked Amy. “Don’t worry about them. Come along Ponds and Yaz!” answered the Doctor. Together, the Doctor, Yaz, Amy and Rory journeyed across time and space, visiting famous people and old friends, such as Queen Nefititi and the Paternoster gang and planets such as New Earth and Akhaten. However, like all journeys, it had to come to an end and Yaz and the Doctor had to say goodbye to Amy and Rory. “Before we go, do you know, if River is safe?” Amy asked the Doctor, part of her afraid of the answer. “She is saved to the largest database in the universe, with her friends. I’m sorry, I couldn’t do more, but I promise you River is safe and that she is happy” answered the Doctor, quietly. “The last time I saw her I took her to the Singing Towers of Daryllium and we were together for 24 years. She’s safe, but it’s impossible for me to see her again.” “Thank you, Doctor. Thank you for looking after her for us. I know it must be so painful for you, as it is for us, but thank you for making sure she’s safe.” Rory responded, his voice breaking. “I’m sor-” the Doctor began. “Don’t be,” Amy said, softly. “We know you must have done everything you could have done. That’s all we could have asked of you.” Yaz hung back as the Doctor said her farewells. She had enjoyed her journey with the Ponds but she knew it would be hard for the Doctor, leaving them again. Amy and Rory came towards her. “Look after her for us, please.” Amy said, her voice low. “I will.” Yaz promised. “I’m so glad I met you both.” They hugged, for the last time. The Doctor made her way to the TARDIS. She already felt the Ponds’ absence, but she was glad she had spent this time with them. Since the Master had revealed to her about her past, that she was the Timeless Child, she had been feeling confused and angry about how the Time Lords had used her, but seeing the Ponds and introducing them to Yaz, had made her feel a lot better. She wondered why the TARDIS had brought her here. Her conversation with Idris echoed in her mind. “You didn’t always take me where I wanted to go.” “No, but I always took you where you needed to go.” Perhaps the TARDIS had known that a part of her had needed to see the Ponds again.

[chickensarentcheap]

I Found (chapter 13)

Oooo...lucky number 13 ;)

I was going to post this tomorrow but I have three online zumba classes to teach and I’m tired from just thinking about it

WARNINGS: language mostly

Tagging: @alievans007 @c-a-v-a-l-r-y @hemmyworthy

It's six thirty in the morning when they make the short walk to Nik's hotel. Three hours remain before the catch their flight to Dhaka yet Tyler is already in 'go mode'. His senses are keen and work on overdrive; brain always operating two steps ahead. Long ago mastering the ability to carry on  conversations or what would be deemed normal business and behaviour, yet still being able to spot a potential threat. Eyes always scanning the street, looking for even the smallest thing that seemed suspicious. A vehicle  that slowly circled the streets or parked the wrong way  with an idling engine, carrying only a driver and no passengers.  Someone acting shady as they lingered on a front stoop or at a corner.  Their eyes shifting nervously, hands shoved in their pockets as they rocked back and forth on their heels.  Those that would walk slowly past you with a hoodie pulled over their heads and sunglasses on their eyes, not realizing that you'd already made them and their sideways glances had hadn't been as conspicuous as they thought.

  His hearing became more acute as well. If out in a public place he was able to pick up on conversations from several tables away. Pretending to be immersed in a coffee and something on his phone while mentally storing everything he was hearing into memory.  His reflexes were the most impressive. Able to react to a threat at the drop of a dime. If not armed, able to rely on his instincts and previous experiences when searching for -and using- the objects available to him.

Injure. Maim. Kill.

Those were the only three options.

And usually only the last one mattered.

For the first time in the year he's carrying. A semi automatic pistol on his right hip, concealed by both the t-shirt and the Emery zip up hoodie he sports.  He wears a ball cap; pulled low over his eyes. Not enough to look suspicious, but just enough so others can't see the way he surveys everyone and everything around him.  People out walking their dogs others climbing into their cars to head to work, some sitting on their stoops with mugs of coffee, younger fellas delivering the morning paper. Traffic is light; nothing more than the usual morning commute and delivery trucks making sure their goods arrive at stores before the doors open.

Esme is less than half a step in front of him, pushing the baby in the stroller. She's kept her head down the whole way. Her instincts haven't remained as sharp. She'd become a mother after all, and that was an instinct that was far more powerful than any other in the world. The ability to sense...before even a peep was made...what her child needed or wanted.  The overwhelming desire and need to protect all costs. She's on edge; every so often her head snapping towards a sudden noise or movement, almost jumping clear out of her skin when a car door is slammed a little too hard. In one block he's had to stop three times to calm her down. Stepping alongside of the stroller and grabbing a hold of the handle to make her stop. Leaning down as if he was checking on the baby inside but telling his wife to calm down. That everything was okay. That he was right there and nothing was going to happen to them.

And those reassurances would work. Until they didn't.

They're a block away, waiting at a crosswalk when he crosses the small gap between them and lays a hand on the small of her back and tells her to stop.

“Hold up...” he says, and bends down as if to as to tie one of his boots. “Your twelve. Coming across the street. Young guy in the red hoodie. With the back pack. This is the second time he's passed us. He's looked at us both times. Last time he crossed to the other side and stopped in one of the store fronts. Don't make eye contact with him.”

She hooks an arm around the handle of the stroller and removes her cell phone from her shorts pocket, as if she's just casually checking the time or a text message that may have come through.

The light changes and the walk signal begins to flash, and as the young man in question because his way towards them, Tyler casually reaches under his hoodie and t-shirt, fingers brushing against the handle of the pistol.  

He's ready. Waiting.

Esme glances up from her phone. The suspicious stranger in question making eye contact with her. And when he gives a warm smile in greeting and a “good morning. Beauty day, ain't it?” and she responds in the like, offering up brief commentary on the sun yet how there's a chill in the air.

Tyler stands.  The young man's shoulder coming in contact with his. Nothing threatening, Something that could be see as an errant bump on the street.

“Sorry, mate,” the kid says. “Nice time for a walk with the family, yeah?”

His hand slides out from under his clothes. He shoves both into the pockets of his hoodie and offers a pleasant smile. “Baby wouldn't fall back asleep. We thought we'd try some fresh air.”

“I hear ya, mate. These baby years are tricky. I have four at home myself.”

It's a lie. Tyler knows it is. This kid looks barely old enough to have graduated out of high school. So unless his girlfriend has had quadruplets or he started when he was twelve, there's no way he has that many rugrats at home.  

He plays along. “We just have the one. It's harder than it looks. She likes to keep us on our toes.”

“You think this is a struggle, wait until the terrible twos. They're a right trip.”

“We should go,” Esme speaks up. She's right at his side now; not even an inch between them. She's nervous; he can hear it in her voice, see it written all over her face. A year ago she wouldn't have batted an eyelash at a threat like this. But a lot has changed in those eleven and a half months. “Grandma and grandpa are early risers,” the lie rolls easily off her tongue. “They're waiting for us.”

“Well you both take care now,” the stranger says. “Enjoy the little one. These days are gone before you know it.  Stay safe.”

Tyler smiles, gives a nod in farewell and watches as the younger man heads off down the street. Hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. Head moving left to right as if scanning the street. Yet never looking back at them.

“That was fucked,” Esme whispers.  “There's no way he was telling the truth. That is not someone old enough to have four kids.”

“Just keep going,” he says, and drapes an arm across her shoulders, pulling her tight to his side.  “Don't cross the street. We're going to turn here, go down to the next block and then cross back over and head to the hotel that way.”

She nods. Then shivers against him.  A mixture of the cool morning air and her shoddy nerves.

Tyler unzips his hoodie and slips out of it, making sure the t-shirt still covers the weapon on his hip as he helps his wife slip into his sweater. It's huge on her. The hem falling below her knees.

“It's okay,” he assures her, as he tends to the zipper, sliding it up to the top. Laying his hand on the side of her face, he drops a kiss on the top of her head and bends down, his hand on the back of her neck and his lips to her ear.  “Everything's fine. Just calm down. Nothing's going to happen. You're fine.”

She nods, and turns her face into his, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth before he pulls away.

“It's okay,” he promises, and then lays his hand on the small of her back once more.  This time completely closing the gap between them  as they continue on their way.

***

Nik has somehow convinced hotel management to open the restaurant an hour early, and have staff clock in  to provide breakfast for the small group. There isn't a problem that woman can't talk herself out of. No situation she can't fix. A skeptical person she can't convince with a shy smile and a bat of those eyelashes.  She has many faces to put on. All successful at getting exactly what she wants.

“You're late,” she says, in that slightly disappointed tone she so often likes to use. She's used it on him many times in the past. Mostly when he'd the gall to  show up to team briefings either still drunk or nursing a wicked hangover.

“We ran into a small problem,” he responds, and launches into a detailed tale about their awkward and unnerving encounter on the street.

She listens quietly, a hand on her hip, head cocked to the side.

“Might have been nothing,” Tyler shrugs. “But it felt like something.”

Nik knew that his  instincts were very rarely wrong. And she trusts them. She trusts him.  Even after a year. Even after everything that he'd gone through in Dhaka and the long months afterwards.  And she tells the team's resident tech expert to get on it; she wants footage from every traffic camera, security camera, and home security system within a three blocks radius -in every direction- from where the altercation had taken place.

She wants a face. A name.  And failure to find them is not an option.

“Are you carrying?” she asks, and he nods. “You?” she address Esme.

“Those days are behind me,” the other woman replies. “I'm not that person anymore.”

Nik merely nods, then gestures towards an area in the back corner of the restaurants.  Two tables pushed together; next to the windows, with the sunshine streaming in and a view of the immaculately landscaped courtyard.  She quickly makes introductions; Jason, three new guys with extensive weapons and hand to hand combat training, and a young woman in charge of the technology. The last is a familiar face; Yaz, who'd been at the helm of the helicopter that had transported Ovi to safety.

He and Tyler embrace warmly. Two old friends reuniting after a difficult year. They'd spoken on the phone and had exchanged emails and texts, but this is the first time since they'd seen come face to face since that fateful day. Tyler doesn't remember any of the visits to the hospital or cards sent or even the things that Yaz had done behind the scenes to make sure that Esme was taken care of. And Yaz prefers it that way. He's low key. Never liking praise, compliments, or thanks. Preferring to be that quiet friend that lingers in the distance yet you always know you can count on.

“Good thing nothing ever happened to this face, huh?” Yaz laughs and lightly taps Tyler on the cheek. “It's already hideous. How worse could it possibly get?!”

“Your mother used to love my face,” Tyler retorts, and Yaz gives an overly dramatic gasp and clasps a hand over his heart. Then dissolves into laughter and embraces him once more. His demeanour becoming more solemn.

“We missed you, brother,”  he says. “Glad to have you back. We were worried about you. Scared the shit out of the lot of us.”

“Scared the shit out myself,” Tyler responds, as Yaz claps him on the shoulder and moves on to greet Esme and Amelia.  Launching into that high pitched tone he  develops whenever the talk turns to anything baby related or he gets a glimpse of her on face time or he's shown a new picture.

“Let's get this show on the road,” Nik pipes up, and like obedient children, everyone begins to gather around the tables.  She has that way about her; assertive, aggressive, yet in a rather low key and never overbearing way.  Able to go from glamorous and alluring to kicking someone's ass in a matter of seconds.  Men loved her. Women wanted to be her.  Yet she remained humble, possessing an enormous amount of compassion and understanding, even for those who had wronged her or slighted her in the past.

Tyler is one of those people. He had been into her...had loved spending time with her...but he'd never been in love with her.  They were way better friends than lovers, as their numerous dalliances and his drunken and pill fuelled escapades had proven time and time again. Still, she remained loyal. Believing in him. Trusting him.

Even when he'd given her countless reasons not to.

*****

“We've reached out to Ovi Mahajan Senior about everything that has been going,” Nik announces, as she sips a cup of black coffee.

The hotel had put out their best breakfast spread for the group; various flavours of coffee and teas, everything from fresh fruit and danish to scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes and all the fixings. Workers lingering long enough to make sure that everyone was settled and digging in. Then  quietly slinking away and leaving them to their business.

“You don't suppose this is something he's caused do you?” one of the rookies...a strapping kid over six foot three with carrot red hair and an impossibly smooth baby face...inquires.

“The warden says that his track record has been perfectly clean for the last year and that he's neither caused or been involved in any issues,” Nik replies. “We have no reason to believe that he has done anything to provoke this.”

“This isn't about him,” Tyler speaks up, running his palm along the porcelain of his coffee mug. “This has nothing to with him at all. This has to do with what happened last year. The fact that we successfully extracted his kid.”

“Asif was shamed,” Yaz speaks up, as he paces the floor with the baby in his arms. Playing the role of the doting and adoring uncle. Every so often glancing down to make silly faces at her or talk in that baby voice he's perfected. “It was a huge blow that we rescued Ovi. He tried everything in his power to make sure we weren't successful. And in the end he was the one that failed. Asif has a loyal following in Dhaka. Dead or alive.”

“We believe that this is retribution,” Nik says. “But it goes past having just rescued Ovi.”

“Tyler embarrassed Asif,” Yaz again. “Single handily.”

“And not just that,” Nik adds. “He somehow managed to survive to tell about.”

A silence falls among the room as the cold hard truth finally breaks the surface. It was what they had been accepting, but it was still a harsh reality to accept.

A bitter pill to swallow.

Beside him, Esme shifts uncomfortably in her seat. One hand on her stomach, the other clasping a fork she'd been using to push the food around her plate for the past thirty minutes. It's been a common occurrence within the past week. Craving and wanting food and then immediately repulsed when it gets in front of her. Stress. Anxiety. Perhaps her own slice of undiagnosed PTSD.  With the year anniversary quickly approach, habits she's grown out of have starting making an appearance. Stomach aches, migraines, insomnia. And terrible night terrors when she did manage to nod off.

Tyler lays a hand on the back of her neck, fingers tightly yet comfortably kneading the tight, tense muscles.  She'd already been on edge when she'd gotten up that morning. Nauseous as soon she opened her eyes, making a mad dash to the bathroom to throw up. And he'd sat there on the floor next to her, holding her hair away from her face and trying his best to reassure her that everything was going be fine.  This wasn't going to be a repeat of a year ago. He wouldn't let it get that far out of control.

“This is personal,” Nik continues. “But we don't think it's necessarily directed at Ovi. We don't think he's the target. We received information that those running Asif's business and controlling the remaining assets know that Tyler is alive. They know his face, they know his name, the know where he lives. This is an attempt to lure him back to Dhaka. We believe in an attempt to finish the job.”

There's a clatter as Esme drops her fork onto her plate. A grimace on her face as she pushes  the dish away. Three quarters of the meal still remaining.

“What's going on?” Tyler whispers, taking the opportunity to comfort her as Nik pushes her chair away from the table and retrieves a pitcher of water. “Are you okay?”

“I just feel sick. I'm tired. I have a killer headache. I feel like I could puke.”

“You didn't get much sleep last night,” he reasons. And he was partly to blame. His insatiable sex drive and his need to with her...inside of her...overpowering all rational thought.

“It's just stress,” she says, and manages a small, reassuring smile. “And that guy on the street just freaked the shit of me. Something wasn't right him. I felt it. And I know you felt it too.”

Nik returns, filling Esme's glass with water and giving a soft, understanding smile. “It's a lot to hear,” she says, and sinks back into her chair. “Even if it is what you've been expecting. This is a hard time. For all of us. We lost a lot of people a year ago. And came very close to losing others. We may have extracted Ovi successfully in the end, but we failed in a lot of ways as well. We believe that whoever is behind the recent happens in Dhaka is doing this to get Tyler back there.  And it's what very reliable resources have been reporting.  This is all about revenge. Restoring honour. There's already been talk on the street.  Tensions are high. Ovi has just been collateral damage. They've been using him as a pawn.”

“So why go back?” Jason pipes up. “Why not just bring the kid here?”

“And lead them right to Tyler? And his family?” Yaz shakes his head. “Use your bloody head man. If we go there, we keep the trouble there. It isn't that hard to understand.”

“We need to keep their shit in their pond,” Tyler adds.

Nik nods in agreement. “Now Mahajan has loyal people of his own. That we can rely on when and if trouble arises. He has assured us of that and I have no reason to question their ability nor their willingness to help. He's made some powerful allies in prison. Their reaches are long. We have those resources at our disposal and we will use them ONLY if we need to. My hope is that we keep this contained to just the team.”

“We should be fine,” Tyler says, as he leans forward to grab a carafe of coffee and fills his cup. “There shouldn't be a reason for it to get that far.”

“Yaz, Monique and I will be staying here in Australia. Keeping our eyes and our ears open to any possibly trouble heading this way. The rest of you will be heading to India first. Mahajan has agreed to let you stay at his house. To keep an eye on his son.”

Tyler shakes his head. “Bad idea.”

She blinks. “Why's that?”

“We're trying to keep the trouble away from the kid, yeah? We're not trying to drop it on his doorstep. Which is exactly what will happen when word gets out that I'm there. It's better if I stay somewhere else. Alone.”

“Yeah...no...” Esme speaks up. “...that is not how this is going to happen.  That is not we talked about. That is not we agreed to. At all.”

“I changed my mind. I have that prerogative.”

“Maybe when you had a death wish,” she argues. “Maybe when you only had yourself to worry about. But in case you've forgotten, there's two other people you also need to worry about. What good is us being in India and you being in Dhaka going to do? What made you think that was even a reasonable decision to make?”

“It keeps them away from Ovi. Which in turn keeps them away from you.”

“It puts an even bigger target on us. They won't come right for you  if they know you're alone. They want revenge. And what's the best way to get it? To get you where it hurts the most. To come after the people you love.”

“She's right,” Nik says.  “It's foolish, Tyler. And it's dangerous. You're playing with fire.”

“You already have men camped out there, right? Now you're adding two more. That's more than enough to keep things locked up tight and under control. Once they realize that, they'll move right to me.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, I can't believe we are actually talking about this!” Esme exclaims. “You're not the only one that's in this huge shit pile. This isn't what we talked about. This is not what we decided. And you told me that if the three of us were going together, we were sticking together. That doesn't mean us in one place and you in the other. This is bullshit Tyler, and you know it.”

“We'll talk about this later, okay? We'll..”

“We'll fucking talk about this now. You came up with this idiotic bullshit on your own and I'm calling you on it and I don't give a shit who is here to hear  it. This is not how things are going to go. You're not going back on your word. You don't do that. You don't go back on your word. You don't go back on your promises. So don't start now.”

“Esme is right,” Nik maintains. “It is better if the three of you are together. They're safer if you're with them, Tyler.”

“They're not. You know and I know it. I stay with them, the bigger the threat becomes.”

“Are you hearing what you’re saying?” his wife remains incredulous. “Are you honestly listening to yourself? Are you listening to the words that are coming out of your mouth? It makes no sense, Tyler. They're going to hit you where it will hurt the most. And then they'll finish you off. When they know you're vulnerable.”

“I kind of agree with Tyler here,” Yaz jumps in.  “It does makes sense.”

“Like hell it does,” Nik snaps. “It makes no damn sense at all.”

“If he's alone, they'll go right for him,” Yaz reasons. “They want Tyler, right? That's who they're after? Once they know where he is, Ovi stops being the target and they move away from him.”

“Exactly,” Tyler says.

“You're so full of fucking shit, Yaz,” Esme retorts. “You damn well know that that isn't how these things work.  For Christ sake. I can't believe I'm surrounded by such horseshit!”

“Just calm down,” Tyler says, a little more forceful than he intended to be, and her eyes narrow and the rookies grow uncomfortable in their seats.

“Don't you dare tell me to calm down,” her voice is low. “Don't you dare sit there and tell me to calm down when you went behind my back and completely went against everything we've talked about. I love you. But I could fucking kill you right now.”

“Just relax. We'll talk about this later. Once you calm down and actually listen to me...”

“I have been listening to you. Every word. And I'm telling you that it's all the stupidest fucking bullshit I've ever heard come out of your mouth. And I've heard you say some pretty stupid fucking bullshit.”

“Esme and the baby are safer if you're with them,” Nik contends. “And that's the way it's going to be. You're going to India. All three of you.”

Tyler sighs “This is the wrong decision and you know it, Nik. You just signed their death certificates. You might as well just pull the trigger yourself.”

“I can't hear any more of this,” Esme shoves her chair away from the table with such force that it nearly topples over when stands.  “I can't. I need some air. I need to get away from this.”

Frowning, Tyler snatches her by the wrist.

“No!” she snarls, and yanks her hand away. “Don't.  I need to go. You need to let me go.”

“I'll go with you,” Jason offers, buttoning his suit jacket as he stands up. “Keep an eye on you.”

“Whatever,” she says, and once more wriggles out of a tight grasp her husband as wrapped around her. “What does it even matter, right? I don't get a say in any of this. It's all up to you, right Tyler? Nothing matters except what you want. Same shit, different day.”

He opens his mouth to respond, but Nik jumps to her friend's defence.

“You've said enough,” she glares at him. “And I'm totally disregarding the entire thing. You leave for India in two hours. All three of you. Together. And you stay together.  This ends here. And I swear to God, Tyler, if I get a frantic call in the middle of the night saying that you've taken off and left them there, I will come and find you and you'll answer to me. And that is battle you will not win.”  She downs the rest of her coffee and pushing her chair away from the table, smooths down the back of her simple black pencil skirt. “Wheels up in in two hours. We're done here. Do you understand me?” she directs that questions at Tyler. “No games. No sneaky shit, Tyler. Because if you go behind her back and something happens to her or that baby, I will end you myself.”

[takaraphoenix]

Dr who for the ask game

Thanks for playing! This is also a big, fun one! :O (I do love that the majority of these asks hit target on my own biggest obsessions x3 We checked off like all the live action shows at this point, I think, the only things left are anime/animated xDDD)

Again with a cut due to the sheer size. ^^°°°

Top 5 favourite characters: CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS, Martha Jones, Donna Noble, The Doctor, Yasmin Kahn

Other characters you like: Rory Williams Pond, Graham O’Brien, Mickey Smith, Bill Potts, Sarah Jane Smith, Craig Owens

Least favourite characters: Rose Tyler by a landslide

Otps: not realy any actual OTPs but ships I guess I’m fond of would be Vasta/Jenny and Rory/Amy

Notps: every ship involving the Doctor, because I just honestly find it weird and uncomfortable to look at the Doctor as a romantic or even worse yet sexual being, but most of all Doctor/Rose and Doctor/River, also Jack/Ianto

Favourite friendships: I am living for the current team dynamic, 13-Yaz-Graham-Ryan are really good but my forever favorite is the Doctor and Jack, also the best team-up was the Doctor with Donna and Martha, that was perfect

Favourite family: THE FAM! 13′s team

Favourite episodes:oooh mmh, I do have multiple favorites, so let’s do this!

Blink: it is such a good episode, there was a time I just popped that one in when I had 40 minutes to waste

Utopia/The Sound of Drums/Last of the Time Lords: for me personally, this is where Doctor Who peaked. My absolute favorite storyline and episodes and team-up - my favorite Doctor with BOTH my favorite companions in an episode with my favorite Master as the enemy. Amazing. There was a time when I would regularly rewatch this, just these three

Turn Left/The Stolen Earth/Journey’s End:Suuuch a satisfying conclusion for a four series plotline, all of the companions coming together like that? It was so good

The Lodger & Closing Time: I love Craig and I love how these two episodes switch things up!

Favourite season/book/movie: Rather obviously, series 3 - the return of Jack, the series where Martha is the companion, a series with my favorite Doctor and four of my favorite episodes in it!

Favourite quotes:THE ANGELS HAVE THE PHONE BOX! xD And the wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff! I got that one on a necklace even! *laughs*

Best musical moment: uuurgh the soundtrack of this show is actually so good? I listened to it on a loop for years. Series 3 and 4 being my favorites, they make you feel things, man.

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: Just this series when Jack returned. And let me elaborate to just convey how hard I fangirled at that, because it wasn’t just “oh a fave!”.

You see, Jack is... kind of why I’m here? I watched the first series with my mother back when it started airing in Germany. But they kind of... stopped dubbing it and it stopped airing in Germany and eh, I was okay with it because this show seemed weird like they just switched out the actor of the MAIN CHARACTER who does that what the fuck and I really liked Jack but he was gone now too so oh well.

However, then I read online about how Jack was in series 3. So... I went online and Doctor Who is genuinely the first TV show I ever watched in English, because I wanted to see Jack but there was no dub.

Then series 3 ended and both Jack and Martha left and I was very meh because I remembered that this is the show that constantly replaces its whole cast.

You can probably guess what happened next, but Jack was in the finale of series 4. So I went back into Doctor Who, rewatched what there has been so far all the way up to the series 4 finale - and that was when I was sold, because holy shit even with the switching of companions, they just bring them back! They just brought them all back! That was such a good pay-off.

Ironically, that was when I actually stuck around and started watching the show in real time instead of waiting for the next Jack appearance to bring me back from hibernation. Ironically because - well, that was the last we saw of anyone. (Aside from 10 in the 50 year special.)

That hard, hard cut from 10 to 11, no return of any companions...

Needless to say that when 12 came and went with no care for anything pre-11, I kind of... came to accept that this was it. Especially when they announced yet another hard cut - as in Moffat would finally be replaced and with the new era, both a new Doctor and new companions - I was so sure we’d never get to see anyone from the old crew again.

So when, after literally ten years, Jack Harkness returned and was so... so... Jack, I made the loudest, most unholy sound and the excitement of them actually acknowledging that he would be back for more and he would be there when the Doctor needs him? Tears of joy.

(but aso pls #LetMarthaMeet13 okay? Okay)

When it really disappointed you:YOU’RE MAKING A 50 YEAR ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL. YOU HAVE SOOO MANY GOOD COMPANIONS. BUT. BUT YOU BRING NONE OF THEM BACK. ONLY ROSE TYLER’S FACE. OF ALL OF THE FACES. OF EVERYONE I COULD HAVE SEEN AGAIN IN THAT SPECIAL, IT HAD TO BE BILLIE PIPER’S MEDIOCRE ACTING. REALLY? REALLY??

Saddest moment: When 10 regenerated

Most well done character death: Surprisingly enough, this show makes me care even about the one episode characters to the degree that I find their deaths frustrating. It’s pretty good at character deaths overall

Favourite guest star: Does Craig Owens count? Because he only had two appearances in total. And the second one was genuinely a surprise to me; I was sure that The Lodger would be a stand-alone, never to be seen again kind of deal

Favourite cast member: John Barrowman! David Tennant! Freema Agyeman! I love all three of them and seeing them in other things always makes me really happy!

Character you wish was still alive: I mean, Bill. Can you imagine if the lesbian companion had gotten to meet 13?? Death :D

One thing you hope really happens: Martha. I mean, come on. Jack is back, Jack warned the Doctor, promised to be there when needed. There’s no way Jack lost contact with Martha and Mickey, even with those two off in space fighting aliens alone. I’d love for this... very, very big plotline that is currently happening to include the Doctor’s old friends coming back once more to help.

Most shocking twist: I mean... I mean it’s gotta be this series’ Surprise Origin Story. Like, I still can’t quite comprehend that one.

When did you start watching/reading?: As mentioned above, when it first started airing in Germany

Best animal/creature: Does the TARDIS count as a creature? Because then Sexy wins!

Favourite location: THE TARDIS. I wish they’d show it more often just casually. I wanna see the companions hang out in there, I wanna see their rooms, see that indoor pool and stuff

Trope you wish they would stop using: "OH NO THE DALEKS ARE STILL ALIVE AFTER THE LAST TIME I TRIED GENOCIDE ON THEM *gasp*”... Like. The very first time they brought them “back from the dead”, it was really cool because as a newbie you never met them before but you get they are important. Then they were wiped out. And then they returned again. And okay, sure. So they were wiped out again. And miraculously survied again.

Look, I get it. Doctor Who has three recurring entities in the villain gallery who are like... obligatory - the Master, the Daleks and the Cybermen. But for the love of everything, stop trying to show it as a “surprise twist” that the bad guy is a Dalek like we all knew they’re coming they’re the cockroaches of the universe, they ALWAYS surprise, stop acting like we should be shocked that they’re back again.

Every time, the Doctor goes Pikachu meme but with sad eyes and like just... have the Doctor groan, kick a Dalek and go “not you again”, instead of “how did you POSSIBLY survive THIS? :O” because after the sixth miracuous survival of a genocide, it stops being a surprise twist... -_-

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: Clearly something, because it has me come back for more like a masochist despite me being a character-driven viewer - me, abandoning the show after the first series was very in character, because I’m attached to characters and if you routinely replace all the characters, that’s... not really my thing. Somehow, this show defies the odds there

Funniest moments: JACK FLIRTING WITH PEOPLE AND THE DOCTOR GOING “NO STOP THAT!” xDDD

Couple you would like to see: NONE. NO ROMANCE. KEEP THAT SHIT OUT OF MY DW!!! Urgh. Just give me fun found family space adventures. I swear ever since the cast announcement I have had a twitchy eyebrow waiting if they’ll push for Ryan/Yaz and so far I am sooo glad they are NOT. I just... want friendship and space adventures, no fucking romance. At all. Not with the Doctor, not between companions. No drama

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: ...to stay in character, I have to say Dominic Sherwood. Partially because I am obsessed with him, but also because I WANNA HEAR HIS BRITISH ACCENT FOR A WHOLE ASS SERIES PLEASE

I would also like to see the return of James Marsters though. Time Heist teased by showing his face and acknowledging his existence in Doctor Who (it’s not like DW has acknowledged a whole lot of Torchwood canon so far, considering the catastrophic events TW has dealt with without the Doctor...), so that had me kind of hopeful he may at least cameo for an episode...

Favourite outfit: I looove Martha’s red leather jacket and Jack’s coat

Favourite item: The chameleon device

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: *clears throat awkwardly* ...Yes?

a metro card holder thingy with the TARDIS on it,

an I pin I have on my pencil case,

a necklace with a miniature TARDIS,

a necklace with the wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey quote in a swirl on it,

a necklace with a Weeping Angel pendant,

a mug with the 10th Doctor as a cat on it,

a lanyard with Police Call Box written all over and a miniature TARDIS dangling on it

a TARDIS dress,

a whoosh-sound making door opening TARDIS with size-fitting figures of the 10th Doctor, Jack, Martha, K9, Idris, 11, Rory and John Hart (it’s James Marsters’ pretty face, okay?),

a Funko Pop 10th Doctor,

another TARDIS but this one is smaller and can’t open,

a larger TARDIS that can open (and is the right size for my Doctor Whooves),

a Doctor Whooves (if that counts since he’s technically My Little Pony but also he’s the Doctor so like...),

a TARDIS-blue stuffed owl with Police Owl written on it,

the first four series on DVD,

a poster from the 50th Anniversary with the War Doctor walking away from an explosion and 10 and 11 on either side of him,

a pocket watch that is the chameleon device

What house/team/group/friendship group/family/race etc would you be in?: Mmmh I would like to be on the current team the most, I think? Generally speaking, their adventures were less intense than most others and I dig the family vibe

Most boring plotline: Boring, huh? There are always a couple stinkers, at least one in each series, but a really boring plotline was... Clara’s post-Impossible-Girl one. I LOVED her as the Impossible Girl, she was so interesting and I think that after she went into the Doctor’s timeline, the character should have been retired. Have her, I don’t know, dissolve there, since she is spread out through time. But that she stuck around was... not good, for her character? Her love drama with Danny was incredibly boring and not fun to watch (especially when she tried to kill the Doctor :D)

Most laughably bad moment: THAT FUCKING MOON EPISODE. THE FUCKING EPISODE WHERE THE FUCKING MOON TURNED INTO A FUCKING EGG AND AN ALIEN HATCHED TO THEN LAY A NEW MOON EGG IMMEDIATELY AFTER BEING BORN AND HUMANS JUST FUCKING SHRUGGED THAT SHIT OFF. Urgh. There are a lot of cringey things happening on this show, but this takes by far the crown. It was so stupid, so dumb, so ridiculous

Best flashback/flashfoward if any: Every time we learn more about the Doctor’s past *^*

Most layered character: I... I mean the Doctor. So many layers, so many lives, so many years

Most one dimensional character:Mh, this is harder... Among the not one-episode-off characters? I guess Nardole. Like, sure, good guy, but... not really all that deep that one

Scariest moment: Blink with the Weeping Angels. They lost A LOT of their scariness the more they were used - Moffat really overused them, in my opinion; they would have done better only appearing very rarely. But that first episode with them was just daaamn

Grossest moment: Cassandra?? Woman only made of skin?

Best looking male: CAPTAIN JACK HARKNESS

Best looking female: MARTHA JONES

Who you’re crushing on (if any): Martha Jones

Favourite cast moment: John and David being cute behind the scenes is always amazing, but the bes moment is definitely the 500 Miles video!

Favourite transportation: The TARDIS, that’s not even a question!

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): Whenever we get to see (not destroyed) Gallifrey? It’s so gorgeous??

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you:SO MANY AFTER THAT LAST SERIES. But also things like: Where did Clara fuck off to in her flying diner? What exactly is Jack doing now that there is no Torchwood anymore? How in the world did Torchwood ever even work like how was the Doctor just never around during these gigantic problems?? WHO WAS THE DOCTOR’S FIRST WIFE? And what was the Doctor’s child like? Because the only one ever even mentioned is the Doctor’s granddaughter Susan, but a granddaughter implies one more generation between. WHERE IS JENNY? Since she is also the Doctor’s daughter but also just fucked off into space and like why is she not trying to track her parent down??

Best promo: I mean, it clearly works when they show me Jack’s face so that’d be it for me :D”

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: At the series 4 finale, as above more elaborately explained

IN DEPTH FANDOM QUESTIONS

[stagofel]

Thank You, Yaz

Today I made the most-difficult decision of my life in saying goodbye to my best friend of nearly 13 years. My dog, Yaz, named after my grandfather’s favorite Boston Red Sox player and Major League Baseball Hall of Famer Carl Yastrzemski, finally gave in to the unforgiving cancer that began to take over his body. This relentless disease was diminishing his leg to the point where he was walking on 2.5 legs for months. He didn’t go without a fight, however. Most people that knew my dog would tell you that is not surprising. He was strong, both physically and mentally, with a will that was forged from steel.

I got Yaz about 1.5 hours east from where I went to college, at Auburn University. He was a cog in a sea of black-and-white fluffiness, as part of a nine-puppy litter. He was the only one that was solid black, as his brothers and sisters all had a white patch somewhere on their bodies. That purely unique characteristic, as well as the fact that he was also the only one beating up on all the other puppies, which told me he had an insane amount of personality and was courageous, was enough for me to make the decision in taking him home. He was roughly 5-weeks-old and weighed about 7 lbs. He sat in my lap and stared at me the entire car ride back. The first time he peed in the house was the first day I brought him home. I sat him on my bed and took pictures of him and, as I lifted him up, below him was a puddle. So, coincidentally, he also got his first bath!

The challenges in raising a puppy that young are immense. He was destructive! He never met a toy he couldn’t disintegrate or a stick he couldn’t bite in half. He required attention and was completely spoiled. The temper tantrums were legitimate. He would shred almost all of my belongings on a weekly basis. That said, not only would I never change a thing about our relationship over the past 12 years, but I would not have had it any other way. It’s not how the story starts, but how it finishes and it was a great story. He turned out to be a loyal, consistent, at times, overprotective, but a loving friend, nonetheless.

There are so many quirks, mannerisms and countless facial expressions that I will miss about him. Yaz did a crazy thing with his ears where they would shoot out to the sides, making his face look like the Batman logo. He also could not take a bath without running away to rub his body all over every piece of furniture in our home. In fact, I couldn’t keep him out of the water. He loved going to the beach and lake with me. He developed this one personality trait that stands out, one of which, remains to be one of my most-favorite things about him, when he was around 4-years-old. He started doing this half-bark, which would come out as an ‘oomph’, when he heard even the slightest sound. I like to think that, when he wanted to get my attention or warn me of something, he would do it. It made me laugh every time and he definitely did it at least 10 times-per-day. The total smiles amassed over the course of the year in him just being him, more than 1,000,000, for sure.

Coming home was always my favorite part of the day. In college, he would peek around the corner, see it was me and come flying down the stairs to say hello. Over the years, that run turned into a slow trot to the door when he heard the key turn. No matter how he greeted me, nothing tops the way he would say hi in the last two years of his life. Whether he was on the couch or my bed, he would wait to see who it was and, when I poked my head in, he would flop over on his side, as if relieved, and his tail would hit the bed, generating a sound similar to beating a rug over a balcony, as I rushed over to hug him. Not a single day went by where I wasn’t excited to come home to him. It was the best part of my daily routine and was one of my most-fondest daily habits. It didn’t matter what I had going on, he accounted for roughly 70% of my daily schedule and that wasn’t a sacrifice, but a decision I happily opted for in making him a necessity.

My dog was obnoxiously spoiled. He demanded your respect, because he was the king of his castle. I was always the sidekick, whether I’d like to admit it, but he always treated me like I was the top dog (pun intended). I understood the parameters of our relationship. He had my respect and then some! More times than not, I would be relinquished to the couch, because when it was time for bed, he would already be sprawled out. If I told him it was time to get down, he would tip his head back to look at me. I knew what that meant, I missed my chance to sleep in the bed that evening. If he was already extended on the couch, I then knew I had to sit on the floor to watch a movie.

Raising Yaz was not shy of a plethora of worrisome circumstances that we both endured over his lifetime. The second day I had him, I let him out to the bathroom, off a leash and, when I turned around, he had disappeared. Needless to say, my heart sank into my stomach, thinking I just lost the dog that I only had for less than 24 hours! I walked all around the neighborhood to look for him and, about 30 minutes later, when I got back to my door, fighting back tears, he was sitting there, wagging his tail, waiting for me. As angry as I was, I was more relieved.

A few months into our tenure as best buds, he started to get so big, but was going to the bathroom so little. I couldn’t figure out why, hence a trip to the veterinarian. He had actually consumed seven dish towels and an emergency exploratory surgery was required. He obviously emerged victorious, however, he would make this mistake three more times, by way of eating four pairs of socks and two different occasions having eaten Christmas ornaments. After college, I accepted my first full-time job in Memphis. This was where I found out that Yaz needed to have a plate surgically placed to keep his knee intact as his ligaments were failing. That was the longest five hours of my life, to say the least. A year later, the other back leg required the same surgery. At this point, he’s not even halfway to 13-years-old and has already had six surgeries.

We also survived a tornado that ripped our home in half, literally. You can throw this one up as another one of those lucky or meant-to-be occurrences in life, but one day, I had come home from work to make lunch. It was raining that day, but looked just like any other weak rain storm. The tornado hit so hard and fast, that not even the NWS alarm sounded in time. We had no warning. I remember sitting at my computer, eating a sandwich, Yaz on my bed, resting his head on the laundry I had just folded and looking outside to see nothing but white with swirls in it. What followed was a sound that most-closely resembled a train, then baseball bats beating against steel trash cans. I knew something was wrong, so I grabbed Yaz, ran into the bathroom, shielded him with my body and that was when everything started to fall around us. In the back of my mind, even to this day, I wonder what could have happened to him had I not gone home that day.

Despite all the surgeries and the countless times he destroyed my sneakers, he taught me so much, because he, himself, endured a lot of pain, but fought through it. Not for himself, but for me. He always put me first. I was the only thing that mattered. I wonder why I was so lucky to deserve that much love. I don’t think that we, as humans, can comprehend the kind of devotion and love it requires to be completely selfless in nature. People tend to come and go, but a dog’s love is eternal. I know that now and I embrace the fear of the unknown and will fight through the trying times, because of him. Dogs don’t know, nor do they care, what the next day will bring. Those are our challenges and duties to worry about. What a dog does, is serve and offer a sense of stability in being there. Yaz served his purpose and, what I hope to be, a fulfilled life in knowing that he was so purely loved, which in expressing my gratitude, I took him on countless beach and lake trips, grocery store runs and tossed him tons of treats.

My home is quiet now. There is an annoying tranquility to being there. I’m not as excited to walk through the door. I will always miss seeing his face, fighting him for position on the couch and feeling annoyed when he wanted to go for a walk in 20-degree weather. He was the most-loyal, trusting and loving friend that I will ever have. He taught me to be brave, to fight, to love, to forgive, to embrace, to be strong and, despite the challenges, to never give up.

Life hasn’t been easy over the past two years and, without him, it might be twice as difficult, but just as my fearless dog relied on his two good legs and always bounced back strong after every surgery, so too, I will carry on. We can all learn something from our dogs. He had such a profound impact on my life and I would probably be a completely different person having not had him. He changed my life and I hope he knows how much I love him. Even as I wrote this, having held back tears after every paragraph, I know, in my heart, that I will never forget him and he will be with me, always.

RIP to my beloved dog, Yaz. May he rest in peace. I love you, boy.

[iamnotoriginalphil]

Reader x 13 in which the reader was previously in an abusive/toxic relationship and one day the doctor snaps in an adventure and the reader becomes reality afraid of them

Here you go, Anon. I hope you like it.

You could hear her shouting. It was loud and intrusive, her body quivering with rage. You could feel it rolling off her in waves. You knew anger like this, it was as familiar to you as your own hands. You were shrinking back from her, trying to make yourself as small as possible, trying to hide yourself away.

The Doctor didn’t notice until she had all of you back in the TARDIS, safe and sound. You were still flinching away from her, putting as much space as possible between the two of you. You couldn’t pretend. When her eyes alighted on you your heart would pick up speed and you’d feel dread overtake your body. Each time you’d look down at your feet or your twisting hands, trying not to draw her attention any more to yourself.

You fled from the console room as soon as possible without being rude. You locked yourself away in your room, keeping the space and locked doors between you and the Doctor.

You sank onto your bed, your fingers clenching in the blankets. You couldn’t stop the beating of your heart, the pace of your breath. You squeezed your eyes shut. You could still see the anger flashing in her eyes, the harshness in her words and the way she had looked, like a lightning bolt, ready to strike down all that displeased her. You hadn’t realised so much anger could reside in her.

You tried to push away the memories, tried to suppress them. You didn’t want to think about them, didn’t want to remember them. This entire experience had been so wonderful, beyond your wildest dreams, and you didn’t want to mar them with the thought of all that had come before, all the things you were willingly running from by staying in the TARDIS.

You didn’t want to think about the sounds of smashing china, the way it felt to have a hand shoving you back until your back hit the wall hard enough to rob you of all your breath, the way anger looked on a face you’d loved so much. You wanted to leave that in the past.

A knock sounded on the door. You started, looking up at it. The knock sounded again. You looked down at your fingers, suddenly realising how tightly you were gripping the blankets. You released them. The knock came for a third time.

You stood from the bed, hoping it would be Yaz, but knowing it wasn’t. Before now, it felt as if you knew her better than you knew yourself. Now, that notion seemed naive and ridiculous. How could you truly know someone like the Doctor?

You opened the door, keeping hold of it should you need to slam it. The Doctor was standing with her hands in her pockets, her eyes downcast. You fingers tightened again and your heart was in your throat. Her eyes met yours and you saw the hesitancy in her.

“Yaz thought I should come talk to you,” she said.

You stayed silent, not sure what she wanted from you. You were worried about giving the wrong answer. You didn’t want to see that anger again.

“Can I come in?” she asked.

You hesitated and you saw her shoulders droop. You opened the door wider, stepping back to let her in. She stepped inside, watching you press back against the door once it was closed. She went to reach towards you then stilled when she saw the way you flinched.

“I didn’t meant to scare you back there,” she said, her voice so unforgivingly gentle.

You shook your head, hoping to convey you weren’t scared, or that it didn’t matter, whichever way she should choose to interpret it. You still couldn’t speak.

“I would never hurt you,” she said.

You nodded your head, biting down on your bottom lip. You’d heard that one too many times to put any stock in it. Although, never from her, and she had never lied to you before now.

“I’m sorry,” she said, looking down at her feet, then back up at you from under her lashes.

In moments like those you forgot that she was one of the most powerful beings in the universe. In those moments she was just your friend, your silly, childish friend.

“I know,” you said, still not meeting her eye.

“Do you?” she asked, “you’re not just saying that?”

You shrugged, leaving it up to her interpretation.

“I’ll do everything I can to regain your trust,” she said, “but if you’d like to go home now I’ll understand.”

You felt your heart constrict at the thought of leaving, of going back to your normal life at home with your parents. You didn’t want it, would never want it. Your life was in this little blue box. The thought of leaving was worse than staying.

“I’d rather not,” you replied, your voice almost too soft to hear.

She grinned at you before the smile dropped from her face when she saw the way you were watching at her. She nodded, stuffing her hands back in her pockets.

“I truly am sorry,” she said.

“I know,” you said again, this time actually believing it.

She nodded again. She looked down at her shuffling feet then back up to you.

“I’ll go now,” she said, “I can see you’re uncomfortable.”

You moved away from the door, letting her open it herself. She looked back at you over her shoulder, a small smile on her face.

“I’ll be in the library, if you’re looking for me, or trying to avoid me,” she said.

She closed the door on you. You let out a long sigh, sinking onto the edge of the bed. You put your head in your hands, doing your best to calm your breathing. It had never gone like that before. Last time, they had not taken your emotions into consideration. Last time, they’d made it all about themselves.

Maybe this time would be different.

Tags: @doctorofhope-teamtardis @oneandahalfeggs @thegayspunk @morbid-gaymer @alecmidnight @mexicanto@gallifreyan-wakandan @th13teens-wife @iknowyoubutyoudontknow @gohamber @fromflametofire @g00dl13 @aspiring-bookcollector @pureplutonium @tigermillionaire-philanthropist @bingewatchingmylifegoby @river-greenleaf @twizzziee @xemilylhx

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[buildarocketboys]

Books read in 2018

It's been a pretty good year for reading for me, and I actually kept a list of all the books I read, so I thought I'd make a list and write a mini review about each one. I've read 22 (and a half) books this year in full - this doesn't include any that I just started, or have read bits of.

1. When The Moon Was Ours by Anna-Marie McLemore

Magical realism + gay and trans characters! Pretty great although I wouldn't necessarily read it again. Mostly read in lunchtimes at work.

2-4. LOTR trilogy by J R R Tolkien (started somewhere between 17 and 29 March) (first book finished 4 April) (finished 30 May)

Dates on this one as I spent most of the first half of the year reading the Lord of the Rings. The Fellowship of the Ring was almost certainly my favourite, got a bit bored towards end of Two Towers/start of Return of the King, and the long descriptions and battles (and long descriptions OF battles) are something I generally prefer to do without. But they're really good books with a lot of cool (and gay!) stuff in them, and though the films don't include everything from them, they're pretty damn good adaptations. (I only wish the films had kept Beregond).

5. The Inescapable Logic of My Life by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

By the author of Aristotle and Dante, I actually can't remember much of this book, I remember it being pretty good though. It may have made me cry?

6. Cloudbusting by Malorie Blackman (REREAD)

Easily the shortest book here, this book used to make me cry. It's a simple story told through different types of poetry, but it's so beautifully done. Didn't make me cry this time sadly, but still good. Read it sitting by the river taking a break from working on a job application.

7. Nation by Terry Pratchett (REREAD)

I reread this pretty much every year (I found myself a few weeks back wanting to reread it again) and it's brilliant every time, enough said. Think this is the only Pratchett novel I've read this year, which is a shame. Thoroughly recommend it though, even though it's not part of Discworld.

8. And The Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini

Bought this from a stall in Bristol, at the time it was the only one of his I hadn't read. It was one of those novels I just ploughed through, really quickly. Really good, really sad (and a gay character where you least expected it).

9. Wicked by Gregory Maguire

Borrowed this from my girlfriend after having seen the musical in May. The book is...really weird, but really good. A lot more of an obvious dystopia than the musical is, right from the get go pretty much and Elphaba is an icon - grumpy, traumatised, irritable, angry, hopeful, guilty, revolutionary. I love her. Oh, and her and Glinda are still really gay.

10. Harry and the Wrinklies by Alan Temperley (REREAD)

Now we come to the books I reread in August when I had some time off work. Harry gets orphaned and is sent to live with his elderly relatives and their elderly friends (hence the title). Little does he know, they're all ex-cons and pretty much modern day Robin Hoods. Also, badass. Still a great book, even if it's technically for kids. I need to reread the sequels sometime.

11. Maximum Ride by James Patterson (REREAD)

Edgy as fuck but I still kind of love it. Ngl the younger kids and Iggy are a lot more fun than Max and Fang though.

12. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger (REREAD)

This one I reread every couple of years or so. One of my favourites, the way the non-chronological (by design and necessity) plots works so well, in both building and retaining suspense, the prose is beautiful (if a little pretentious at times), the characters are...mostly kind of dicks, but in a real, multifaceted kind of way. I kind of love all the references to various books/authors/bands, even if it is kind of pretentious. I discovered Rilke through this book. Jeder Engel ist schrecklich.

13. Simon vs The Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli

Read this a little while after seeing the film. Obviously they changed a fair amount, but I love them both. Really easy to read in about a day.

14. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli

Read this on the same weekend as Simon. Loved it a LOT. I relate to both Leah and Abby a whole lot and it just felt so real to the experience of being a (bi) teenage girl. Wish there'd been a bit more to the ending maybe? But maybe that's just me being greedy. Still trying to persuade @judasisgayriot to read it. This might well be my book of the year.

15. Vox by Christina Dalcher

After I finished Leah on the Offbeat I was looking for something else to read. Picked this up in Waterstones because it sounded like an interesting concept for a dystopia (women are only allowed to say 100 words a day - if they say more, they get electrocuted by a bracelet attached to their wrist). The main character is white, straight and middle class, so that's definitely the majority of the experience we get to see, but there is some examination of being gay and/or a poc in this dystopian culture. Overall an interesting examination on how language can be used as a weapon, and to control people. A Handmaid's Tale with a difference and (spoiler!) a happy ending.

16. The Upside of Unrequited by Becky Albertalli

I didn't get/read this one at the same time as Leah and Simon because I was put off by how het it sounded, lol. The main character is straight (afaik) but it's still a pretty great book and she's pretty relatable.

17. My Mum Tracy Beaker by Jacqueline Wilson

Tracy Beaker all grown up! As told through the eyes of her (much quieter and less troublesome) daughter. Pretty great and interesting to see Tracy all grown up but still very much Tracy. Lots of drama and Justine Littlewood ruining everything as usual. Complete with an implausible happy ending (but it's great anyway, and tbh we all need those sometimes). Also, Cam is a #confirmed lesbian.

18. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (REREAD)

I'm not sure how many times I've reread The Book Thief now, but it must have been at least ten. I reread it at least every year but often it's been more than that. Still amazing, obviously, but I dunno, I didn't feel as into it this time? I didn't cry (for the first time ever!) while reading it, although that might have been because I read it at work. Mostly I was reading it to prepare for Zusak's new book, which I got for Christmas.

19. Holes by Louis Sachar (REREAD)

First time I've reread this since high school, and it's still brilliant. 'Nuff said.

20. The Bi-ble: An Anthology of Personal Narratives and Essays about Bisexuality edited by Lauren Nickodemus and Ellen Desmond

Bought this from Gay's The Word when I was in London back in May, only got round to reading it in December. Some really good stuff in here, I related hard to a lot of it (and not so much to other parts). Recommended reading for anyone who's bi or wants to understand more about bisexuality.

21. Call of the Wild by Guy Grieve

I picked this up on a whim from my pile of unread books because I wanted something to read before I got new books for Christmas. (Unfortunately, despite my best efforts, I only finished it on Boxing Day). Really interesting, I'm so fascinated by life in very cold, harsh, unforgiving places (only partly because of the wolves) and this was a really interesting true story of how a guy (called Guy) from Scotland manages to build his own cabin and live out in the wild of the Alaskan Interior through the Winter.

22. Combat Magicks by Steve Cole

A Doctor Who novel (the first of three I got for Christmas!) and the last book I read in its entirety in 2018. At the site of a battle between the Romans and the Huns (which is why I chose it first, sounded really cool), so-called "witches" manipulate everything both sides do. Surprise! They're aliens. The Doctor calls Yaz her bestie a lot and it's adorable. Ryan gets a girlfriend who stans the Doctor (she's basically part of Roman Torchwood and she's awesome). Graham has a bath with a witch (well, nearly).

Currently reading:

Eat Up! by Ruby Tandoh

I'm about half way through this, so it doesn't quite count as a book I read in 2018, but I thought I should include it. Anti-diet culture, embracing food for what it is, everything it is, while examining the different things (gender, race, class) that affect our relationship with food.

[theother-timelesschild]

*Doctor tinkering on various things at the console.*

*Yaz walks in with 2 teas, walks up and sets one down on the console, then moves to lean against a column*

*the Doctor still tinkering doesn’t notice, or so Yaz thinks.*

*Doctor on a loop around the console grabs a drink*

13: Thanks Yaz! Just what I needed.

13: Is it “morning”, are Ryan and Graham up too?

Yaz: No, couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d come see how you were doing.

13: I’m fine, fine. why wouldn’t I be? Aren’t you tired.

Yaz: nope, I was on second shift this week use to late hours, and You called to picked us up in the middle of the night. You won’t even tell us what happened on Galli... *Doctor interupts*

13: Ah, so you’re the reason the TARDIS landed at midnight, you just got off shift.

Yaz: Well yes, but what does.. *Doctor interupts*

13: The TARDIS wants me to talk to you.

Yaz: I’m trying but you keep interrupting.

13: Have I told you the TARDIS is sentient? Once the TARDIS’s soul was stolen , put in a body, it was nice, we got to talk with mouth’s and everything for a little while, except that she was dying. She doesn’t always take me where I want to go, but she always takes me where I need to be when I need to be there.

13: In emergencies you can activate a voice interface. If she likes you, she’ll be nice about it. *TARDIS hums agreeably*

Yaz: Why is it only for emergencies why can’t you talk to the tardis with mouths and everything all the time?

13: Believe me ...timelords tried, but it doesn’t work, a 12th dimensional Matrix can’t exist that way.

Yaz: Doctor.. . *Doctor interupts*

13: Yaz, have I told you my rules?

Yaz: Yea, rule 1 no guns.

13: hm, the rules numbers change all the time, I’ve had many different rule 1s.

13: Rule 1 use to be “Don’t wander off.” But as I’ve gotten older I’ve had to move that back to replace old rule 2: Stick close to me.

13:  when I was a grey-haired Scotsman Rule 1 was : “Use your enemies’ power against them.”

13: For bow tie sometimes rule 1 was: “There is always a plan.” However it was more like a thing, like a plan to have a plan.

13: Other times rule 1 was: “the Doctor lies.” I’ve been trying to not use that one.

Yaz: well I’m glad your not using that rule anymore, it’s not right.

13: No that Rule 1 can be about kindness, It’s not about right or wrong, Yaz....It’s more complicated than. It’s about foreknowledge and that can be cruel and dangerous. If you’re not careful you can create fixed points, things that can’t be changed, sometimes those things can be bad.

Yaz: How can lies be about kindness?

13: Have I told you but my wife? *yaz gives a look* your right I know I haven’t, she’s a time traveler too, you may even meet her sometime. Professor River Song, PhD. 51st Century, Luna University, Archeology Department, if you ever need to look. *pause*.

13: I met her the day she died. Are you telling me that next time I met her when she was younger and it would have been a kindness for me to tell her I saw her die.

Yaz: Yes, maybe if you’d have warned her, so it could have be prevented.

13: No, Yaz because she told me about the last time I saw her. How I cried as the towers sang because I knew where she was going, and she made me promise not to change one line of our story because if I did, if i took her place that day then we would never have met,and she wouldn’t have been who she was / who she became. And quite possibly it would’ve created a universe ending paradox. When I first met her I used to hate her word “spoilers”, but then over the centuries “spoilers” became best word ever. Because it meant we would see each other again.

Yaz: whispers “centuries”.... why spoilers?

13: Because it was a way to say I know something about the future but I can’t tell you, I’m sorry and I’m not going to make up a lie to you about what that something is, just to give you an answer to your question. Because there’s a chance if you don’t know, you can make changes, if those changes ripple outword and so long as they don’t create waves, somethings don’t have happen the way I remember, they can happen the way You will remember, and time will fix everybody’s memories. Well, if I was the one with the spoiler it wouldn’t fix my memories I would end up with two sets of memories but otherwise most people won’t notice, but I’m a timelord. It’s like how when younger versions of me meet older versions of me, only the oldest of us remember what happened, but we still remember what the younger versions thought, felt, and believed.

Yaz: Timelord?

13: A bit pretentious I know, but that’s what those that mastered time decided to call themselves. Those in the Outerlands...are the Shobogans. Anyway, as children when we are eight we are taken and tested before the untempered schism, those that...pass, join a Chapter and attend the Academy; Timelord, school, so to speak.

Yaz: What’s the schim and what’s a Chapter, like a degree program?

13: Not exactly, Gallifrey is not like Earth, there is one central government and It is based on the old caste system. The Chapters represent the original six ruling families or Houses, and associated sub-Houses. Generally those of us of the Old Houses are expected to stay within our Chapters., unless of course an alliance amongst the other Chapters would be advantageous.

Yaz: What was your house?

Oh, House was once a Noble House perched on the west side of Mount Lung overlooking the Cadonflood River south of the Citadel. *Pause* You don’t mean....you mean the name, Lungbarrow was one of the senior Prydonian Houses. It was once a family of wealth and privilege but over the centuries it stagnanted and only produced petty servants and clerks. Could you imagine me a clerk, for one of the High Council. Uhhh. nope couldn’t be that still for lives on end, although once I was a lecturer for 70 years... Oh, I need to go back clear out my office, St Luke's University in Bristol.

13: Enough of the past, back to lies being about kindness, say I jumped forward in your timeline, picked you all up one midnight before Christmas and then you all were asking me questions wanting answers to things that haven’t happened yet for me; I try to change the subject but you still end up telling me things I don’t know. It’s going to force my hand to do those very things you spoke about. If I try to do something to change the things you told me, It’s not gonna end well, I can already see the timelines solidifying around me. My course for Gallifrey and Master is set. Would you want to know that, or would it be kinder for you to not know that?

Yaz: *hand to mouth* Doctor, no!

13: Yes, I’m sorry, to burden you so. Do you want Ryan and Graham to know? Do you want to remember?

Yaz: You say that like remembering is optional...

13: It is

Yaz: You could wipe my memory of this conversation?

13: A human compatible neural block would make it easier, but yes, I could make you forget it....all, no memory of the future, space or time travel...or meeting Rosa or Tesla... or just a little bit of this conversation...

Yaz: Have you, before?

13: Not to my Fam.

Yaz: That’s not a no, just that you haven’t done it to us.

13: I don’t make a habit of it, only if it’s needed to protect the future, or a life. Well what do you say?

Yaz: I want to remember, but I don’t think Graham and Ryan need to be told, but if they find out you aren’t the you we last saw, they get to deside for themselves. Okay?

13: Okay, yes. Yaz, you don’t know me, and it’s my own fault, I haven’t told you things. I’ve lived for over 2000 years, and not all of them good, I’ve made many mistakes, in part It’s why I have so many rules. also why I don’t travel alone. I’ve been negligent with you all. I thought if you didn’t know my past, that you couldn’t get hurt by the things you didn’t know.

Yaz: that seems a bit naive, given your age.

13: Yea, well I realize that, but I had hope. I don’t know what happened after you last saw me, but here are some other old rules that you could find useful; like number 7: Never run when you are scared; Rule 8: Never ignore a coincidence. Unless you're busy, then always ignore a coincidence. Rule 27: Never knowingly be serious. Rule 408: Time is not the Boss of you. And Never give up, never give in.

I don’t have a number for this, its just an in the TARDIS rule: No being sick and no hanky-panky. Caveat, unless you aware of the risks of having a baby with a “time head”.

Yaz: a time head”?

13: Yeah, that’s what Amy called it, I didn’t take her worry seriously and I should have. Her and Rory’s daughter was born human plus.

Yaz: Plus what?

13: Plus, Stuff. Like arton energy from the vortex woven into her DNA, a triple helix, like my people, two hearts, and a keen sense of time. The people who took Amy did experiments, tried to cooked themselves more timelords, make clones. They did succeed in sending me my very own bespoke psychopath. Programmed an assssin to kill me when we first met, she also saved my life that same day, as first dates go it was mixed messages. 

Yaz: Doctor!!

13: No, worries, I married her. Hang on, woven, wait....I need to see her files from Demons Run, again, Later though. Now back to rules: Never use weapons, unless the damage can be repaired. I haven’t given it a number yet, but I’m sure it’s in the top 10.

13: Never be Cruel, Never be Cowardly. Never eat pears. Remember hate is alway foolish, Love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind. Laugh hard, run fast, be kind. These are rules I told myself a half hour before I met you all, When I had a different face.

Yaz: You weren’t joking when we first met about being a Scotsman or being thousands of years old?

13: Actually if you count the time I was trapped in the confession dial, I’m over 4 1/2 billion years old. Although since I kept dying and being reset and all the skulls in the bottom of the water were me, yea, lets say we don’t count all those years I spent punching a hole in a wall of diamond.

Yaz: that’s horrible! Why and Who did that to you?

13: The Lord President Rassilon himself and the rest of the High Council of Gallifrey. Don’t worry not everyone was like that, the kind people, the good people, the regular people, those who saw my actions during the Time War, the citadels guards that refused to execute me, They stood by me as I kicked Rassilon and the rest of the High Council off my planet. My title as the Lord President, restored once again.

Yaz: Your....thats....Better than a clerk.

13: Not really, no travel benefits, I tricked them though, because they tricked me and it cost Clara her life, I had them bring Clara out of her timestream, heartbeat frozen in the moment just before her death, then I stole a TARDIS and ran away again., Only this time I didn’t designate a Lord Regent my place. In fact I have no idea if Rassilon just returned soon after I was gone.

*Long Pause, Doctors gone silent, thinking*

Yaz: Doctor, Who are people you’ve mentioned: Amy, Rory, and Clara. Past us? Past “fam”? And where are they now?

13: Friends, In-laws even, The Ponds, Amy and Rory Williams they lived a long life, in the past. I couldn’t get back to 1938 I barely got there the first time. In fact I can’t take you to New York anytime during their lifetime there. The tardis just can’t go there. Their daughter River, with her vortex manipulator found away, she would send me updates and take messages back-and-forth.

13: I don’t know what happened to Clara, I took her someplace, I thought her heart would restart, it didn’t. It was an untenable solution one of us had to lose all of our memories of the other. Clara the impossible girl that met me over and over throughout time and space. I mean it’s entirely possible that we could still meet one of her fragments somewhere along my timeline.

Yaz: So, that means....

13: I lost my memories of her. Before I died, before I regenerated into this face, I was given a gift that returned my memories of her. I don’t know if that means she returned to the moment of her death or if she is still somewhere out in the universe traveling in a stolen tardis with Lady ME/ Ashildr.

Yaz: She can pilot a TARDIS, is she also a timelord?

13: No, a human, I told her too much, I taught her too much. and she became too reckless, like me.

13: she was following rule 1: “Use your enemies’ power against them.” She came up with a plan, she didn’t tell me the plan before going forward with it. I was doing that more then, letting her take the lead.....she was told “You can pass the Mark on, but you can’t cheat death.” And she was trying be clever and cheat, because that’s what I did, that’s what I taught her to do. But she was lacking key knowledge of the Shades true nature and the contract of the mark.

Yaz: Because you didn’t tell her?

13: I realized too late, my interactions with Mayor/Lady Me, even my very act of saving Ashildr’s life all those centuries ago could have brought her to Gallifrey’s attention, especially that early in earths history, all the prophecy’s about the Hybrid, Timelords can be a devious lot, none more so than those of the Prydonian Chapter especially the Grand Master himself, Lord President Rassilon. They knew Mayor ME was a hybrid, but somehow they’d eliminated her as the threat. But if I’d created one Hybrid how many others might I have made, they wanted to know who the hybrid threat to Gallifrey was and thought I knew, So they laid a trap, On a trap street and Clara died, and I was angry.

Yaz: Didn’t you say, your family was of the Prydonian Chapter. Calling them devious, doesn’t sound like you are a fan?

13: On the contrary, Prydonians were noted for their cunning and deviousness and honesty about it, it is those that forsworn their vows as a Prydonian, that are especially dangerous. Like The Master. A Chancellor from another chapter once lamented that the Prydonians were comprised of "renegades, fugitives, lunatics and ingrates". I suppose that is the true to a certain extent there was a group of about 10 of us from our year that all left for various reasons, just a well, we would have made terrible politicians. *pause* It’s never good for me to be angry. I can go too far. There are those that call me the Oncoming Storm, the Destroyer of Worlds, the Imp of the Pandorica, the Beast of Trenzalore, the Butcher of Skull Moon, and in the Language of the Gamma Forest the Doctor means mighty Warrior. I once destroyed the entire Twelfth Cyber Legion for a Message.

Yaz: Well, good, Cybermen nearly wipeout the Human Race.

13: No, not good, Not justified, they hadn’t done that, yet...That cyber fleet monitored their local galactic quadrant, They knew the exact location where Amy was being held, and I wanted to send a message, just to make a point to the people that took Amy, to know I was coming for them.

Yaz: Its understandable, she is your mother in-law.

13: Except I didn’t know that, not then. She was my best Friend, and they stole her from us...me & Rory, they had her for at least 6 months, They were using Flesh, sending a signal into the TARDIS, all the time, her mind was with us, but her actual body was with Madam Kovarian all the while she was pregnant with their daughter Melody.

Yaz: I thought their daughter was River?

13: “the only water in the forest is the River”. The TARDIS told that to Rory, when Sexxy had a human body. Didn’t get the reference at the time.... In the Language of the Gamma Forests Melody Pond is River Song.

Yaz: Like how for them your name means Mighty Warrior?

13: Yes, it was a warning from my wife, what I might become if I continued down that path, The Oncoming Storm, able to turn armies around at the very mention of my name. Able call upon an army of my own friends...

Yaz: That���s...hard to imagine, you leading an ar... *Doctor interrupts*

13: I was running around being clever, orchestrating things from behind the scenes until the big reveal. Demon’s run, but count the cost. The Battle’s Won, but the Child is lost.

Yaz: what is that? you mentioned Demons run earlier, I thought I was a place.

13: it’s from a Poem, as old a time, about a what happened at Demons Run...where that place got its name, like I said a warning from my wife, the very child that was lost.

Yaz: will you tell me the full poem?

13: *hmmm* I sent Rory to call on River to join the fight, she said it was her birthday and she couldn’t show until the end ....I was so slow...she couldn’t be there as an adult, because she was already there as the child. “Demon’s run when a good man goes to war. Night will fall and drown the sun, When a good man goes to war. Friendship dies and true love lies, Night will fall and the dark will rise, When a good man goes to war. Demon’s run, but count the cost. The battle's won but the child is lost.”

Yaz: What happened did you find the child, River...Melody, did you reunite her with Amy and Rory?

13: *sigh* No, little Melody Pond was not returned to her mother, but Mels Zucker did grow up with her mother and father, as best friends. The Ponds worked it out, they traveled with me off an on for about 10 years. I traveled on my own for about 200 years of it...well, not all on my own, I ran into River alot during that time.

13: It’s never been good for me to travel alone. The TARDIS knows that, I think that’s why I couldn’t get you all home right away. My wife, after Darillium, she sent me Nardole. Did you know a night on Darillium is 24 earth standard years, and oh did we stretch out those years, but always back from an adventure five minutes after we left.

Yaz: Are sure it was 5 minutes later on the same day?

13: Very funny, was late 12 months late once, besides it was River that got us home on time. The TARDIS taught River how to pilot her, *TARDIS makes a pleased sounds*

Yaz: Oh, could the TARDIS teach, us how to as well? *TARDIS makes a sad noise*

13: Not in the same way, River is a child of the TARDIS, with natural telepathic abilities, and they have a special bond, as a TARDIS does with its pilots. You’d have to use the telepathic interface, and concentrate on exactly where and when you want to be, if you stay focused and not waver, then she should take you where you need to be.

Yaz: Pilots, plural?

13: Yaz, There are 6 sides to the console for a reason, it is meant to be flown easily with 6 pilots, 2 minimum, 1 if all maneuvers are pre-planned and plotted, before leaving.

Yaz: *grins*

13: Yaz, I”m concerned about what you said when I picked you up.

Yaz: I’m surprised you heard anything, the way you were interrupting..

13: *sigh* the last human I traveled with Bill, just before I meet all y’all, she got converted into a Cyberman, and I laid dying on the battlefield. Don’t know what happened to Nardole. I don’t even know how I got back to the TARDIS or how she got me out. However remember this; in an emergency you can ask the TARDIS for the voice interface, and use the telepathic circuits.

Yaz: Would that work with any TARDIS, or just yours?

13: hm, best with this old girl *pats a column and TARDIS hums agreeably* I doubt you could just take one from Gallifrey without a Timelord to disable the security protocols, but if that was done, it could, maybe work.

Yaz: how would I know if the protocols were disabled?

13: *sets tea cup down* come on, off to one of the old desktops, I’ll show you.

*later a Cloister bell tolls and a Dalek warning “you will be exterminated” sounds through out the TARDIS*

—————— After Adventure relaxing ———————

*Night - Khan home, with fam & The Doctor - laughing and holiday cheer *

*Yaz and the Doctor quietly talking*

Yaz: So this is it then...one last adventure...just dangerous enough to make us consider giving it all up.

13: Yes, but Yaz, you don’t have too, if you don’t want to.

Yaz: How? You said your path to Gallifrey is set...

13: I do have a TARDIS, the T does stand for Time...we could go the long way ‘round.

Yaz: Doctor...

13: What do you say, you could log some actually piloting time with the telepathic circuits?

Yaz: Then what? One day you just drop me back off here on this night? Never knowing what happened after we left Gallifrey.

13: Look if I can I’ll come back. I will, and if I can’t, I’ll ask the TARDIS to come find you and to take you to whomever can help you find out what happened. Deal?

Yaz: Well I think, even if I don’t don’t run off with you, you’ll need to do that last part anyway. 

—————— LATER ——————

*A new Year, Yaz stands before the console in the TARDIS, the telepathic circuits exposed.*

Yaz talking to the TARDIS: Let try, Earth, just a few years ago, St Luke's University in Bristol.

*later*

Yaz talking to the TARDIS: Alright, that wasn’t so hard was it? Just that a few years to you means any time in the last 70 years of teaching, should’ve been a little more specific, but at least we found Bill on the last trip...what do you think, jump to the last day? Or little hops?

*TARDIS lands in its old spot, Yaz quietly leaves and notices packed boxes around, hears voices in the hallway.*

Man: I’m sorry you just can’t enter.

Woman: I assure you I have every right to be here, and if you just check you’re files you will easily verify all I’ve said. I can wait, I don’t mind.

Man: *Huffs* This is still most irregular, you should have called in advance, we could have avoided all this unpleasantness, wait right here. *walks off*

Woman: wouldn’t dream of moving.

*suddenly woman walks into the rooms* I thought he’d never leave * spots Yaz* Are you my Ride, Detective?

Yaz: *supprized* Um, well, Yea, sure, I could help....

Woman: Ah. My apologies. PC Khan, Could you grab those boxes by the desk? There are just a few things in the other room for me to get. Meet you in the TARDIS.

*Yaz pacing the around the console*

*Woman walks in with 2 more boxes and a guitar, puts down boxes next to the others, and sets the TARDIS to leave.*

Yaz: *stops* See the thing is, I haven’t met you yet, I’m not sure, but I think I know who you are.

Woman: And whooooo am I?

Yaz: The Doctor’s wife, Professor Song.

River: Oh! I knew I liked you, got it one. *presses buttons on data pad* Low level perception filter. *Does a pirouette* What do you think?

Yaz: *Looks toward the boxes* you look just like your photo.

River: Not bad for nearly 300, *looks at photo* Sentimental old hippie, that’s from the day of our first kiss, practically died that day.

Yaz: But you saved him.

River: Well, you are well informed, I am supprised.

Yaz: And you’ve been to Darillium, then? You said your nearly 300...the Doctor said you were just over 200 at Darillium.

River: *walks around the console* Spoilers, so where shall we go, what is your plan?

Yaz: *puzzeled* I hadn’t gone past trying to find you at Luna University in the 51st Century.

River: Ah, well then lets get Missy’s vault, and make sure I recieve the message Nardole left for me.

Yaz: You know what happened to Nardole? The Doctor, she didn’t remember.

River: No...I suspect I may need to send the message to myself. Absolutely not, we can’t go to Gallifrey. What century were you in?

Yaz: *gasps* 61st, she said you had natural telepathic abilities.

River: I’m practically untrained, you must have been thinking aloud. Had you been there long, know anyone from that time, that is still there?

Yaz: No, but a Captain Jack did Scoop us up from Gloucester, with a warning about the Cyberman, so he could be from that time.

River: Harkness, really... alright, and don’t tell him I’m married to the Doctor, he’s always trying to find out to whom I’m married too, it’s practically a game at this point.

*takes off guitar and sets coordinates*

—————— Later ——————

Yaz: Your not coming with us, are you?

River: No, I’ll look after the other TARDIS, never know when you might want one that knows how took like a House.

Yaz: You haven’t been to Darillium yet, have you?

River: *smirks* that would be telling, and were is the fun in that...You know I’ve read a diary from a Victorian Era Lady, there is ample evidence that all the Lady’s of her social circle were 35 for years.... when my parents first started traveling with the Doctor in their early twenties, I was never less that 35 when I saw them as River.... so what’s century or so when married to an ageless god.

———————

*Doctor emptying the boxes from St Luke’s; sadly looking at River’s photo*

Yaz: Doctor, I think we’ll see River again, when she first saw me beside the TARDIS she called me Detective...

13: Well it does say police on it, she’s flirty like that.

Yaz: Except she apologized right away and corrected to PC Khan, before we even got to introductions....

13: *looks up and grins* Spoilers......

[theharrystyleseffect]

A long survey

Thanks @heart-attack-harry for tagging me, keeping my head a bit occupied. 😘

1 - Who was the last person you texted? Uhm. Think it was my mum.

2 - When is your birthday? 11 November.

3 - Who do you want to be with right now? Esmeralda.

4 - What sports do you play? Getting out of bed in the morning.

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts? A guy named Adam.

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment? Meet Me In The Hallway.

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with? Peter Pan cos he could fly me home.

8 - What do you feel right now? An ache in my back and a sorrow in my heart fdghj But I’m okay.

9 - What chocolate is your favorite? Ehm. I think... I dunno. Norwegian chocolate. Or Belgian.

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have? Okay, if we’re counting them childhood love, then 3. 

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account? This one I made specifically so I could geek over Harry’s incredible talent with other geeks.

12 - Who is your favorite blogger? I have a-many. @heart-attack-harry @linnsometimes @harryandgaga @styloffonpostlimit @harrysimpact @savage-styles @cantquitu @adorkablehazza @johnlennon-harrystyles @hazzwatch (CRY) but a lot of the others have changed their urls and I’m quickly losing track of them. Please, kids. I miss knowing who you are! 

13 - Where do you want to be right now? In a very hot tub.

14 - What do you want to be in the future? A fucking rockstar.

15 - When was the last time you cried? All day yesterday.

16 - Are you happy? Happiness is a warm gun and do you see me sitting on one?

17 - Who do you miss? My childhood. Not necessarily what went on, just... I want a way to do it over again, but differently.

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life? Oh hell yeah!

19 - What was the best thing you were given? My love for music.

20 - Who was the last person who called you? Mum. They’re currently in a caravan, on their way to visit me.

21 - What is your favorite dish? Potatoes. Anything chips, really.

22 - Who is your bestfriend? @adorkablehazza and @linnsometimes. Very lucky to have the two of them in my life online and outline.

23 - What is your biggest regret? Bukowski said, “regret is mostly caused by not having done anything,” and so I have a lot of them, too many to count.

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner? No.

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with? My pals, the triforce. A fucking nerdy bunch.

26 - Name someone pretty. Harry Styles’ nips.

27 - Who was the last person you hugged? My flattymate. 

28 - What kind of music do you listen to? I...don’t know where my taste falls, I just know I don’t like whatever category Justin Bieber falls in. His music rubs me wrong. 

29 - Are you over your past? I’m in therapy.

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts? A guy named Martin.

31 - What kind of person do you want to date? A musically gifted or musically nerdy guy with lots of humour, charm and intelligence. I like to learn stuff and I love deep and long conversations. I’m not asking too much.

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night? owh HELL yaz, I’m a professional insomniac. Today I fell asleep at 10 am (!). 

33 - From whom was the last text message you received? Mum. She texts a lot when on the road.

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt? Going naked. Or Jeans.

35 - How’s your heart? Missing dead stuff.

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”? Janove. Where art thou. My heart is still wide open.

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment? Naeh. 

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend? I’d give him a cheeky smile and say, “Remember me?” 

39 - Do you have any phobias? Spiders!!!!!!!!!!!! Life in general.

40 - Did you try to change for a person? Oh no. Nothing in this world can ever make me change for someone else, I’m way too stubborn for that and always have been. 

41 - What’s the nicest thing you haven given to someone? My heart. 

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship? No.

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood? I’m fine. Content.

44 - Name someone you can’t live without. Flattymate.

45 - Describe your dream date. Hm. If there’s a telescope involved then count me in. Music. Telescope. The night sky. Something nice to drink, and just a generally long fucking conversation about astrophysics, the philosophy of life, planet and stars. That, or full music geek out.

46 - Describe your dream wedding. In space.

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s? I’ve never received anything on valentines day.

48 - Have you ever been kissed? Deep, hot and rowdy. 

49 - How long is your longest relationship? 1 years.

50 - Do you regret your past? Do I have to quote Bukowski again.

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else? I always do. Majority of my time goes away to doing stupid things.

52 - Have you ever cried over someone? Yeh.

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone? Just my dad.

54 - Are you a crybaby? No, my childhood hardened me. But I’ve gotten a lot more sensitive in recent years.

55 - Do people praise you for your looks? They used to when I had a pinup fringe. Strangers could stop me on the street to compliment me. It was very sweet of them.

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t? He was married. Is. Still is married. 

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret? (Insert Bukowski quote) 

58 - Do you like getting hurt? In what way?

59 - Does anyone hate you? If so it’s because of my incredible brains and nothing else.

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”? Sure, why not.

61 - What hair color do you prefer? Black on myself. Red is second in line.

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it? Appearance and mental health.

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment? I really don’t know what love is, but I do love my people and my cat.

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself? I have.

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school? My old classmates *grits teeth* and the old teachers who are probably dead by now *huffs like a horse* and the headmaster! All shitty people.

66 - Can you live without internet? Harry Styles is a part of the internet so no.

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone? A song called Under Månen. 

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears? It used to be my specialty. I cracked a few years ago, though. Lost my no-tears diploma and everything.

69 - Are you a crybaby? Only Johnny Depp can answer this question. 

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical? MhM. 

71 - Are you a KPOP fan? No, but I KNOW OF BTS cos my best friend is head over her heelz for them, so I know a few songs and I can point out Suga’s face in a crowd cos he’s fucking cute.

72 - Do you study hard? I’m not studying at the moment, but if I have to study something closer like, in a magnifying glass then sure. I go hard.

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love? No, cos I am my own island.

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight? With a brit! It was sexy.

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat? Countless of times.

76 - Did you have an accident last year? Dude, I have an accident every day. It’s called sleeping past noon.

77 - What kind of person are you? Someone very curious and very weird, and also incredibly kind with a lot of love for the littlest things. Except from fucking spiders, they can all die.

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone? Read question number 77. 

79 - Have you ever been jealous? Probably.

80 - How can you prove your love to someone? By forcing them in a hug.

81 - What are you thinking right now? That I’m looking forward to holding my parents’ dog on Monday.

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts? Old classmate from high school.

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase? A fucking lot of them but they’re a part of making me me, so I guess none unless someone can give me a brand new life.

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel? Yes.

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone? Tons.

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone? I’m a fucking stubborn person, so it’s inevitable. 

87 - Do you have trust issues? YeEes. Thanks dad! 😘

88 - Are you broken-hearted? From listening to Harry Styles’ debut album I was.

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”? Music.

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it? I actually don’t. I think this world is vicious and for what?

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? I do. I believe you have to work for it if you really want it, but when working and if it happens, it’s meant to happen, y’know? So it’s a bit doubled edged. 

92 - Who do you want to marry? Myself. Or, y’know, I could marry Harry and take his last name. I’d like that. 

93 - Do you believe in destiny? I believe in cause and effect.

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”? I sometimes wonder if my flattymate is that soulmate. She’s like a twin soul to me.

95 - How do you look right now? Like I’ve been inside a tumble dryer. My hair’s full of knots.

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies? I think the saying means your first love will never be forgotten, which I believe to be true cos first experiences have a habit of sticking to your memory.

97 - Have you found your true love? In music.

98 - What should you be doing right now? Probably something productive.

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends. Can it be Damon Albarn? Please? 

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough? Yeah.

Right! Bedways is rightways now, so best we go homeways. I’m gonna be cheeky like Courtney who tagged me, and tag the ones I have mentioned so far. Enjoy the 100 years old questionnaire! I think I come off a bit pessimistic so, sorry in advance. 

[yas-surveys]

134.

posted this a year ago and now i’m answering the same survey again.

1. What are you currently angry at? - nothing rly

2. Who is harder to please, you or your lover? - me? lol 3. There is a nuclear war and your fallout shelter has room and supplies enough for two. No one knows about the fallout shelter but you. Who do you choose to take in (Remember, the person you choose is the only person you will know in 5-15 years when you can come above ground again)? - um probs, kirsten or nelly?????? 4. What do you do when you are home alone that you cannot do when other people are at home? - um, i have a thing where when i read book, i kind of comment loudly on what they do, so that’s that or i sing very loudly HAHAHA

5. Do you read on the toilet? - yes

6. How often do people try to talk to you while you are in the bathroom? - most of the times? bc sometimes, i talk to them lmao

7. Have you ever swam in the ocean? - yes 8. Have you ever built a sandcastle? - nope :( 9. Do you feel comfortable in a bathing suit? - um yeh sure?? 10. What would be the best season of the year to get married? - there’s only 2 seasons here in the philippines lol but i would like it to be autumn tbh lol

11. What are 2 things that the perfect ___ would do? Boy/girlfriend: - trust you and be loyal Parents: - support you and believe in you Friend: - cheer you up whenever you’re down and always has your back Teacher: - treats everyone fair well and teach well Doctor: - be approachable and assure that their patients are comfortable 12. If someone you loved was seriously miserable for a long period of time what would you do to help cheer him or her up? - make sure they know that i’m always there for them, that if they need someone to talk to, just call me or smthng, and i’ll keep you company, and i’ll bring the emergency human burrito kit lmao i just made that up but that would involve blankets, s’mores, chocolates, all the comfort foods, movies, yaz. 13. What was the best year of your life so far? - still 2015 14. When people are born is it predetermined whether they will be a good or bad person? - no, it depends on the things they learn or what they see as they grow up 15. Does the weather affect your mood? - yeah, especially if it’s hot 16. If you were underground for 5 years what would you miss the most? - OoOOh, beach, wind, the sky, clouds, THE RAIN FEK I LOVE THE RAIN. that’s sad :( 17. If you were on death row (if you don’t feel evil enough to really ever get there, imagine that you have been wrongly accused and wrongly convicted) what would you want your last meal to be? - fish & chips tbh HAHAHAHAHAHA && bacon 18. How would you want to die (electric chair, gas, lethal injection, hanging)? - lethal injection 19. Who would you want with you when you died? - no one lol 20. What would your last words be? - can you really say your last words like not stopping mid-sentence??? i mean how can you finish a whole sentence and just die after????? i mean how do you exactly know when you’ll die, what if you said something that you wanted your last words to be a few minutes early, then you have to wait to die???? um. (those are my last words. i’m kidding lol)

21. Has anyone ever broken a promise to you? - yes 22. Have you broken a promise to anyone else? - yes 23. Do you eat red meat? - yea 24. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? - i guess? 25. What are the most cruel words someone could say to you? - that i’ll never be successful in life

26. If someone offered you $1,000 to cheat on your boy/girlfriend, would you do it? - no 27. Would you rather date someone 3 years younger than you, or 15 years older? - 3 years younger 28. Which is better, the rush of kissing a new person for the first time, or the comfort of kissing the same person a hundred times? - comfort of kissing the same person 29. Would you rather lose your bathing suit to a huge wave right in front of a cute lifeguard, or your whole family? - cute lifeguard lol 30. Have you ever looked in anyone’s wallet that wasn’t yours? - um??? i guesS? yes 31. What time and date is it? - 1/8/2017, 2:01PM 32. Could you survive without: Electricity: - no, that’s hard Heat: - nooo Air conditioning: - NOOO, it gets pretty DAMN HOT here in the philippines TV: - yeah Radio: - yeah A car: - sure 33. Would you ever consider shaving your head? - if it’s for a good cause then why not 34. What is one thing that will happen to you less than 24 hours from now? - i’ll be going to school fek

35. What age would you want to stay forever? - 18 or 19 36. What is the softest part of your body? - cheeks? jk scratch that, the back of my hand 37. What would make your day if it happened right now? - if all the world’s problems were solved 38. What are you thinking about? - how i have to go eat brunch after this and clean my room 39. Are you on: Drugs: - vitamins lol The crazy train: - do u mean life lol JK 40. Do you say everything to people’s faces or do you talk behind their backs? - well there’s stuff you can’t stay to people in front of their face ya know, but sooner or later, i tell them too. 41. Have you ever made love in an elevator? - no 42. Have you ever wanted a picture painted onto your car? - no why would i  43. Are you clumsy? - at times, probably 44. As you get older will you let your looks go or have plastic surgery? - natural 45. If you wear contacts or glasses would you ever consider laser eye surgery? - no thank u 46. What is the most expensive thing you own? - my laptop??? 47. What do you think of when you hear the word ‘cell’? - phone 48. Have you ever had goat’s milk? - nope 49. Do you care how Jennifer Anniston lives her life? - no, it’s her life 50. Do you treat your pets like family members? - yes 51. Have you ever eaten tofu? - no 52. What would you like to have 435 of (anything but money)? - books 53. How many people know the password to your tumblr besides you? - 0 54. Have you ever thought of deleting your blog? - well, if someone i know found it, but i just probably put it on private 55. Do you like American Pie? - never seen it 56. What is the last law you broke? - well i download music from the internet sooo 57. Have you ever run away from home? - no

58. Did your parents pretend there was a tooth fairy and slip money under your pillow? - no 59. Is there a difference between art and crafts? - crafts is making the art #/craft 60. Have you ever tried out for something? - i once “auditioned” to be a model in a tween magazine when i was in the 4th grade 61. Did you make it? - no lol