#everyone's all ''let the commander heal and get better and go to therapy!!!'' and boring shit

[sylvaridreams]

#canalba HELLO?????? HELLO? DAMA,

oh so now i'm the guy who sucks so much and ruins everything 🙄you were supposed to politely avert your eyes....

[officialleehadan]

About-Face

“Come with me, and all you dream will be yours.”

It was tempting. Clarissa couldn’t deny that, even as her husband pouted, only half-paying attention, and her children protested.

A refusal was on the tip of her tongue, and she tried to force it out around the hard knot of helpless, impotent rage in her throat.

Brad glared when she didn’t say anything, torn between her life, her steady, boring, awful life of cleaning up after her despondent husband and their kids. Oh, she loved her children. They were the light of her life despite their frequent defiance that was only made worse by Brad’s total disinterest in them.

“I-“ she hesitated, trying again to refuse. “I-“

“Let’s go already,” Becca said impatiently, grumpy as only an overtired teenager could. “Dude, she’s married. Get lost.”

“Yeah, leave our mom alone!” Jack said, angrier than his sister, and young enough to understand only a little of their life. “Send us home!”

Brad remained silent and only checked his watch, everything about him screaming that he couldn’t care less.

She had only been kidnapped by an Elder Sorcerer who may or may not be a vampire, but sure, no big, right?

He probably hadn’t even noticed she was gone until dinner failed to show up on time. Two years of couples therapy, and they hadn’t made one damn bit of progress because he just didn’t want to.

She might be determined to make her marriage work, but it took two, and she couldn’t make him care.

He loved her, once. Back before they got married and she got pregnant. He brought her flowers and told her she was beautiful.

She couldn’t remember the last time he said the words. Hell, she couldn’t remember the last time they even kissed, outside of their once-a-month routine of hurried, unsatisfactory sex.

“Clarisse,” Erik said softly, and held out a hand to her. His black-suited form was silhouetted against the fireplace that dominated one wall, and there was the tiniest spark of hope in his eyes when he realized she was thinking about it. “Stay with me, please.”

“You kidnapped me,” she pointed out, because it was easier than a no, and she was still angry about that. “I have a family. I didn’t promise to stay.”

“I will happily host your children whenever you desire.” he told her quickly, not yet smiling, but smart enough to understand that she needed more than pretty words. For all his (probavbly) evil ways, he was a good listener. “As for the kidnapping,  I frightened you and acted without your permission. I am sorry.”

Clarisse didn’t want to be swayed by the easy, honest apology. It wasn’t the first he gave her. As soon as he discovered that she was more frightened than excited by her sudden appearance in his castle-home, he began apologizing.

He even offered to send her back, but, in a fit of selfishness, she refused, curious despite herself.

She was a stay-at-home mom with two children and a disinterested husband. The lure of a week of peace and fun, and maybe a little of the romance she desperately craved, was a siren song she couldn’t say no to.

And then Erik turned out to be someone she liked. Someone who brought her wine and suggested books and didn’t bother her as she dozed beside his pool and enjoyed the quiet.

He was also, probably, a supervillain, but that wasn’t actually as bad as she expected. He let her see his lab and everything. Sure, it was creepy, but he didn’t really seem like the world-destroying type.

“Mom!” Becca said louder, now tapping her foot like the teenager she was. Jack looked up at their father, confused as to why Brad still hadn’t said anything.

Clarisse felt the long-familiar feeling in her stomach. The one that appeared whenever her husband walked into the room, and only grew worse with his silence.

It wasn’t dread. Brad had never given her a reason to fear him. He never lifted a hand, or raised his voice to her. But dammit, was it so terrible to want a husband who wanted to see her? Who smiled with her, and talked with her, and treated her like a person, not a cleaning robot?

“I-“ she said again, feeling hasty and impulsive and torn.  “I have a husband.”

“Yes,” Erik said, met Brad’s eyes over her shoulder. “One who still hasn’t said a word to fight for you, or even to reassure you after discovering that you were kidnapped.”

“Now that’s not fair,” Brad finally woke from his stupor enough to speak. Clarisse was mildly surprised, and then angry at herself for thinking it. “I’m a good dad, buddy!”

“Perhaps,” Erik allowed with a snide little smile that suggested that Brad was the lowest of the low. “Perhaps you are, although I doubt it. But your wife has been gone for a week, and you have not even tried to tell her that you love her.”

“Erik,” Clarisse pointed out sharply, and had the pleasure of seeing both men wince. “That was uncalled-for.”

There was a choice to make, and it was hers. Neither of them were allowed to take that choice out of her hands.

A week in Erik’s imposing fortress had taught her a lot about pushing her own boundaries, but also about the dreams and hopes she gave up when she married a used-car salesman, had kids, and gave up everything.

One way or another, things were changing after today.

Protests came from the kids again and she turned on them, entirely fed up with their whining. For once in her life, they were going to listen, and actually mind her without throwing tantrums about it.

“Stop,” she said flatly, in a tone she had never used before and was long overdue. A snap of her fingers summoned Erik’s ever-present butler Val, who Clarisse liked very much. “Val, take them to my rooms please. Kids, we will discuss this later.”

“But-“ Becca yelped as Val, who looked somewhat dead but was the very soul of efficiency, herded them towards the door. “Mom!”

Brad watched, stunned back into silence by her short commands. That was just as well. She had more to say, and it was his turn.

“Brad,” she said, trembling inside at her own boldness. “We’ve tried tomake this work. Two years of counseling and nothing is better. I want a divorce.”

“What-“ he stared at her and Clarisse felt a little thrill. Finally, for the first time in years, she had all of his attention. “Clarisse, you can’t be serious. You’re leaving me? For him? He looks like a scarecrow!”

Erik blinked, but Clarisse cut him off before he could even open his mouth.

“I am leaving you,” she said, getting angrier with every word. As if she couldn’t make up her own mind when she had enough. “Because nothing is better. I am so unhappy, day in and day out, and you don’t care. You don’t even speak to me most days.”

Val reappeared just at the right moment and Clarisse caught his eye again.

“Please escort him-“ she wasn’t sure where. Fortunately the butler was a professional.

“We have a number of guest rooms near your suit, Mrs. Connor. Shall I escort Mr. Connor to one of those until travel plans are finalized?’

Everyone should have a butler. They were amazing. “Yes please. Erik, do you-“

Erik shook his head and lifted a hand. “Of course. Val, give him the Blue Room and install the children in the suite beside it. They will be more comfortable in their own rooms, I am sure. Give them access to the pool and games rooms as well.”

“Sir. Mr. Connor, this way.”

Clarisse stared Brad down for a moment, and rounded on Erik before her courage could fail. He also looked stunned, but also impressed. When he met her eyes, he smiled slowly and knelt before her.

“What do you wish of me?” he asked softly as if her husband wasn’t sputtering behind her. “All of my resources are at your disposal.”

“Thank you,” she said, and pulled him to his feet. He curled his cool fingers around hers. “I can’t do a relationship. Not yet. Maybe not soon. Can you deal with that?”

He considered it briefly. “Can we be friends until you decide?”

The question was so offhanded that Clarisse had to laugh. “Yes, we can be friends.”

“Then yes,” he said gently, and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “Clarisse, you are a remarkable woman. For all that I would love to pay court to you, if we never become more than friends, I am still richer for your presence in my life.”

“You sure?”

“Completely. Now, shall I call for my attorney, or would you prefer to speak with your children first?”

“Will the attorney be okay if I day-drink?” She felt cored-out and hollow as the adrenalin of the last few minutes wore off. “I really need something harder than tea.”

“He would tell you to do whatever helps,” Erik assured her and ushered her into his office. A push of a button called for the as-of-yet-unseen legal aid even as Clarisse sank down into one of the comfortable chairs with a sigh of relief. “And so would I. Whiskey, vodka, or gin?”

+++

Uncollected Fantasy:

Below the Fog

Glitter Bold

God-Touched Tide

Into the Darkness

Turn Me

Wolf Moon

Blood Moon

Hallowed Halls Memorial

A Kiss to Heal a Broken Heart

+++

Support me on Patreon!

[justanothercinemaniac]

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #242 - Paul (2011)

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: Blu-ray

1) The prologue for this movie is particularly strong. For one thing, the name of the dog, “Paul,” stands out. It’s hard to watch this movie without knowing the title. And it shows that the film isn’t just making fun of sci-fi but playing in the genre. There’s a nice sense of atmosphere to the short prologue and it poses many interesting questions. Namely: what the hell just crashed on earth?

2) I appreciate how earnest Simon Pegg and Nick Frost come across as nerds in the movie. So often people who are enthusiastic about pop culture are portrayed as the joke, their existence is a joke. But with Graeme and Clive yes they can be funny but the joke isn’t the simple idea of, “Look at how funny the nerds are!”

3) Another line of humor I appreciate in the film is that while Graeme and Clive are often mistaken to be a couple, they’re never really uncomfortable with people thinking they’re gay unless they are in a situation with some homophobic assholes. And in that case the discomfort isn’t the threat to their masculinity but the threat to their safety. It’s a nice distinction from how these types of storylines typically go.

4) Look, do I even need to talk about the on screen chemistry between Simon Pegg and Nick Frost? They have proved it countless times across film and television. They’re a legendary on screen duo. Abbott & Costello, Fred & Ginger, Gene Wilder & Richard Pryor, now Simon Pegg & Nick Frost. They’re great together always, even when the films may be a little less than stellar they are not. And Paul is no exception. Their chemistry is on point, they’re as strong alone as they are together, it just works. We spend enough time with their characters before Paul shows up that we clearly understand the relationship, something which is not only the result of strong writing but strong acting as well.

5) The waitress played by Jane Lynch is wonderfully supportive of the duo’s nerdy nature. She doesn’t make fun of them for their interests, she doesn’t see it as odd. She encourages it! And even when the two jackasses show up she’s supportive and only suggests they leave because she knows the bearded truckers could start trouble. I really like that.

6) Seth Rogen as Paul.

Being the titular character of a movie carries a to of weight with it. You have to be the most memorable part of the movie. Think of Beetlejuice, for example. That’s a lot to live up to. Our intro to Paul shows off much of his character and his down to earth nature (no pun intended). We get introduced to his crude and profane language, his sense of humor, and even a little bit of his heart. It is the latter of these things which helps make Paul a character and not just a gag. You understand his intentions, what he wants, what motivates him, and you can relate. It’s a bit of E.T., actually. He just wants to go home. We get to especially see this when interacting with Blythe Danner’s character later in the film, how vulnerable he allows himself to be and how he grows to care about the safety of others.

Seth Rogen nails it as the character. Rogen is no stranger to voice over work and sometimes I honestly forget I’m listening to him. This isn’t because he does anything particularly tricky to disguise his voice, but just because it fits all the above mentioned characteristics of the alien so well. It just works and I think the film is better for Rogen’s casting.

7) Jason Bateman as Agent Zoyle is a fun addition to the movie. Bateman plays the character as reserved and intensely focused, a straight man to some of his more chaotic counterparts. That’s where most of the humor comes from and Bateman’s precision with the role only benefits it.

8) Joe Lo Truglio and Bill Hader have a fun chemistry in this film and add a nice amount of life to the movie. They have fun with their characters and each other making it all the more fun to watch.

9) This film is just dripping with references to great sci-fi films, some subtle and some not so subtle.

Paul [asking for food at a gas station]: “Hey! Reese’s Pieces!”

10) Chekov’s dead bird.

(GIF source unknown [if this is your GIF please let me know].)

Paul showcasing his ability to heal things, even partially, sets up an important alien power of his that also leads to a great gag with his little snack.

11) The film does well with giving each character their own personality and arc. Bill Hader’s character specifically gets a well written storyline of drive and upward mobility. Not everyone would think to give him that storyline.

12) I like Paul’s planet.

Paul: “Everyone’s bi on my planet.”

13) I’m a sucker for these kinds of jokes. Specifically, how Paul was SUCH an influence on pop culture. That the stereotypical alien look came from his face so people wouldn’t freak out so much when they saw him, that he talked to Steven Spielberg (who does a voice over cameo as himself) about E.T., or that, “Agent Mulder was my idea!” I dig it.

14) Kristen Wiig as Ruth.

Wiig is charming and sweet in her portrayal of Ruth. She’s a nice addition to the film and is able to hold her own against the chemistry between Pegg and Frost. She doesn’t feel out of place or tacked on, even getting a really great arc of her own (scientific?) awakening. I appreciate that.

15) On a more personal note, I disagree with the idea that there has to be this complete divide between religion and science as the film largely presents it. You’re either one or the other which to me doesn’t make a ton of sense. Not to get too into my own personal beliefs but I believe in the idea of a creator behind the universe but that doesn’t undermine things like evolution or the big bang or anything else. But I think I’m getting off track.

16) There are some surprisingly strong action scenes in the movie. Often comedy that fall into a subgenre like sci-fi or fantasy rely heavily more on the comedy then set pieces. There’s nothing wrong with that if pulled off well, I just always forget that Paul has a number of well paced chase and action sequences too.

17) I like that the film takes time to develop the relationships with Clive and Paul as well as Graeme and Ruth. They fell organic, natural, and they’re not static either they grow and change. I like it.

18) It took me a while to understand this joke because I didn’t know what Mac & Me was.

Clive: Ever since I saw Mac and Me, I've dreamed about meeting you!

For those who don’t know, Mac and Me is basically an ET rip-off that is often listed as one of the worst films ever made that some see more as a commercial for McDonald’s and Coca Cola than a film.

Also that thing is creepy as hell.

19) Ruth trying out profanity throughout the course of the movie is fun to watch and actually, now that I think about it, mirrors my own attempts with cursing as a kid.

20) At its core, Paul is a fun road trip movie. It’s about going somewhere but it’s also about the journey. The trouble you face on the road and the friends you have to see you through it. It just also involves aliens and the government.

21) The country bar version of “Cantina Band” is nice.

22) I think the bar scene works because it’s basically the eye of the shitstorm. Everything the group has been running from - the truckers, Ruth’s dad, the government - all converges upon them at the same time. It makes for a fun and ripe conflict that’s interesting to see the characters deal with.

23) Is this some sort of crack about Bob Dylan’s current music not “measuring up” to his early stuff or whatever?

Paul [about his drugs]: It's pretty strong shit. I get it from the military. I think this is the stuff that killed Dylan. Graeme: Bob Dylan’s not dead. Paul: Isn’t he?

24) Random Keith Nash is random but nice.

25) Blythe Danner as Tara is a nice late addition to the film. Danner puts a lot of heart and soul into what is essentially a tragic character. A space alien landed on her dog, was taken away by the government, and she was dubbed a freak by society only for telling the truth, something which required years of therapy. But Tara’s no push over. Danner is able to make her strong, tough, and pretty funny when the opportunity arises.

26) The whole scene where the group has to escape the feds at the farm is the film’s best action sequence. It is incredibly well choreographed, tightly paced, and there is a wonderful escalation of insanity and action as the scene progresses. I really like it.

27) This film is Wilhelm Scream certified.

28) The movie is basically a big love letter to sci-fi movies created by the likes of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas. The previous mention of Reese’s Pieces, the fact that the mountain from Close Encounters of the Third Kind is where Paul goes to phone home, and the line from Jason Bateman, “Boring conversation anyway,” mirroring Harrison Ford’s line from the original Star Wars. It shows not only just how much those kinds of films meant to the filmmakers but also how important it is they express that love in cinema. I think honesty admiration always leads to great filmmaking.

29) Sigoruney Weaver’s role as The Big Guy is basically a glorified cameo but I love it. Her casting is pitch perfect. As soon as she actually shows up you know shit just got real. Why? Because it’s Sigourney Weaver! It’s Ellen Ripley for crying out love. She just commands the scene and the fact that the oft mentioned “big gun” from earlier in the film is literally just a big ass gun is great.

30) The twist that Zoyle is actually on Paul’s side totally surprised me the first time I saw the film but it adds a lot of rewatch value. It totally makes sense in a second viewing and helps deepen his character from more than just a standard gov antagonist.

31)

Zoyle: “Call me Lorenzo.” Clive & Graeme: “Lorenzo Zoyle?”

I did not understand this reference at all when I first saw the movie. I had to google it extensively. Apparently it’s a reference to the 1992 George Miller directed film Lorenzo’s Oil that’s a family drama about a sick kid and has nothing to do with sci-fi. So after I learned what the reference was I googled some more to figure out why it was a joke in the movie. Apparently it was Nick Frost’s idea.

“It’s just one of those things that I kind of like doing, that thing that you take one letter from the surname and add it to the forename and it becomes something completely different. It’s possible someone could be called Lorenzo Zoil.” (source)

32) Graeme’s “death” actually packed a punch with me watching this. You kind of figure he’ll survive, I mean we’ve seen Paul use his healing ability before, but still I think that it does pull at your heart strings speaks to how well the film does in making you care about these characters and their relationships.

33) THE SHIP FUCKING LANDS ON SIGOURNEY WEAVER AND THAT’S HOW SHE DIES! YES! I LOVE IT!

34) I really like the in-credits epilogue. Like, the ship taking off slowly is a good final gag and leads to the emotional finale of the film. But the in-credits epilogue ties up some loose narrative strings and feels a bit more finite than just everyone standing in the now empty field. I dig it.

Paul is a lot of fun. It’s not really the same level of genre comedy as the Cornetto Trilogy per say, but why even make that comparison? I only mention that because I heard someone at work saying this movie sucked because it wasn’t Hot Fuzz and I was like, “That’s your criteria?” It is a charming, earnest, fun, well acted, and enthusiastic comedy. It’s a good time with lots of great gags and character moments. I like it and hopefully you will too.

[littlebitofeverythingphff]

Chapter 33

A/N: HAPPY ONE YEAR OF HARRY AND ADDY!! I cannot thank you all enough for your support in this story! It means so much to me to have such amazing readers that share the love of these two with me. A huge shot out to all my friends on here that have supported me and read the chapters before I post and provided me with encouragement to post! Without them you wouldn’t be seeing these chapters! I cannot wait to see where the next year leads with this story and I am not going to be done anytime soon!

As a celebration of one year I wanted to give you a surprise chapter!! It is not as long as others but I hope you will enjoy it! **WARNING** PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION AS SOME PARTS MAY REQUIRE A TISSUE OR MAY CAUSE A TRIGGER FOR SOME PEOPLE**

This is the story about Adalyn’s brother Alexander Mackenzie....

His eyes fluttered open seeing the light breaching through the curtains assaulting his tired eyes rays of sun. A warmth radiated from a figure lying next to him. Her naked body was pressed against his, her head resting on his shoulder sleeping peacefully. Harry watched her chest rise and fall in a steady manner; her quiet breathed whispering across his chest.

His hand ran down the side of her arm feeling the cool skin beneath his touch that radiated a shiver up his own arm. Grabbing the blanket he pulled it higher to cover her exposed body. Sharing a bottle of champagne once they returned home from Harry’s birthday, they stayed up well into the night being intimate with each other.

A smile was brought to his lips at the memory of his surprise birthday, a small private one that Adalyn had planned. His eyes darted to the watch that still remained on his wrist, his birthday gift from the brunette lying beside him. He could not stop his mind from wondering, coming up with a cascade of questions for her about her brother Alexander.

A small part of him was happy that she divulged him in that part of her life, no matter how brief. Addy still remained a private person knowing that it was hard for her to trust people with such personal information that ultimately led her to be vulnerable with them. This was another step in their relationship, a talk that needed to be had now that their relationship was in the public eye.

It was only a matter of time until the press found out about all the intricacies of her past, which included her families as well. Harry had known briefly about her biological mother, but she rarely spoke of her which he could not push as he did the same about his own mother. Harry knew if he would open up more there was a chance Adalyn would tell him, but he could tell in the brief moments she did how her demeanor suddenly became closed off and guarded. He could only see the front page of a newspaper educating him on the Mackenzie family history he had not been privy to as of yet.

Her toes ran along side his leg making his thoughts fade away. Not realizing that Addy had woken up and was silently watching him. His eyes were met with concerned green ones staring back up at him, her brow slightly furrowed.

“What’s on your mind?” Adalyn reached up running her hand down his cheek back down to his chest trailing over the contours of his pecks.

He was reluctant to tell her his true thoughts. Harry released a deep sigh caused her to sit up in the bed pulling the covers around her body for warmth. Her green eyes bore into the depths of him trying to read into whatever he was attempting to hide from her. There was no point in trying to; she would eventually coax it out of him.

“Don’t look so worried Addy.” Harry tried to reassure her wanting to get her back to his side. Out stretching his hand she inched her way closer to him thinking that if he started to distract her with kisses, the matter would end up forgotten.

“I will worry until you tell me what was on your mind. You looked quite concerned….” Addy spoke between the gently placed kisses on her neck knowing it purely was a distraction technique by the prince.

Huffing out a breath Harry gave up, the prince shook his head lightly with a small smile. He could not get anything by her no matter how hard he tried. His eyes angled down again to the watch for a brief second too long giving Addy a silent answer of what plagued his mind.

“My brother.” She ended with a sigh while watching Harry glance down at the watch.

Turning his head back he caught her distant gaze as she looked off across the room as if she was encapsulated in a far-off memory. Addy knew that one day she would have to tell him and with giving him her brothers watch it was only fair to Harry to know what really happened to Alexander. It was conversations like this that made her more vulnerable to Harry, a fact that she welcomed yet disliked at the same time.

It was difficult for her to let her guard down no matter how close they had grown lately. A small piece of her always warned her not to, that in the end he would also betray her trust. Shaking her head she pushed the thought away, banishing out of her mind, as she knew Harry better than that.

If things were going to work with Harry she needed to tell him everything, no matter how painful the memories were he needed to know. Especially since he would be meeting her family in the next few days; Harry would need to understand the dynamics of it all. A small thought popped into her head, what would her family think if Harry had no idea about Alexander…?

“Addy you don’t need to tell me if you don��t – ”

“I do.” She interrupted Harry before he could finish. “No I do.” Addy forced a brief smile for him followed by a pleading glance. Before she could second-guess herself Addy started to speak.

“Alexander was my oldest brother and when my mother left he stepped up and helped my father raise us.” Adalyn starred up, giving Harry a quick flash of a glance before looking down to the balled up sheets in her hand. “He was in the army… special forces.” She paused to lock eyes with the prince again knowing that vital piece of information would cause a stir in Harry.

Holy shit. Harry thought to himself as everything started to make sense. Please don’t tell me he died over there… He silently thought, begging her quietly not to say so.

“Go on…” He softened his gaze to try and encourage Addy to continue while keeping his thoughts to himself

“After his third tour he started to change.” Addy dropped her head, unable to look at Harry while telling him this for she knew it would hit close to home for him. “He wasn’t the Alex I remembered. He drank a lot, slept for most of the day. He had so much anger that any small thing could set him off. Alexander stopped going out, he would just stay inside and we all tried to help him, but no one could convince him to get help.”

He had PTSD. Harry internally spoke with a lowered head. No wonder why she knew how to calm me down all the time. She has dealt with this before. In that moment his heart ached for her. He had no idea how difficult it must have been for her to go through this again with him. Harry could see the torture contort her expression as if she was reliving those moments again as she told him.

“I made him move in with me so I could look after him. After all he did for me as a child I knew I had to do something…” Addy furrowed her brow with pursed lips. “and we went together to talk to his commanding officer after he agreed to get help, which he did.” A brief smile graced her lips, bringing a weak on in reflecting one on Harry’s lips.

“He went to therapy, support groups and even joined a boxing club to help but he still had his moments. At my birthday someone had brought fireworks…” she shook her head lightly with regret. “It was like he was back there again. I learned his triggers and how to calm him when he was exposed to one.”

“One day we ran into this lady in the park who was walking some dogs. They all belonged to a rescue and she was fostering them in hopes that some would find adopting homes.” Addy released a small chuckle, “it was the first time he laughed and looked genuinely happy since he had been home. It gave me a small bit of hope and an idea.”

“We went to the rescue’s shelter just to look around and Alex of course found one that was so scared, backed away into the corner shaking. While I was talking to the workers there Alex was able to get the dog to come to him which shocked everyone cause no one could get within a few feet of the dog.” Adalyn loosened her grip on the sheets, taking a settling breath. “So we adopted Trigger and Alex seemed to start getting better. It was like there was a mutual understanding, an instant connection between the two. They were healing each other and all was well until Trigger got hit by a car and we had to put him down a year later.”

Her rescue… that’s why she does it. These small revelations kept popping up into Harry’s mind. It was if this part of her life brought the puzzle pieces together and formed a picture of it. The way she was so dedicated to the rescue working tirelessly even after her day job, the way she understood what he was going through, everything made perfect sense.

“That’s when everything started to go down hill again.” Addy took in a jagged breath, pursing her lips closed not wanting to continue talking anymore, but she knew she needed to. How was she supposed to tell Harry how he died?

“Addy, it’s ok.” Harry grabbed her hand seeing her visibly upset. “I’m right here.”

Addy squeezed his hand hard gripping it like a lifeline.

“One day I just knew. I couldn’t tell you how, but I just did.” Tears started to form in her eyes at the mere thought of it all. “I got home and when I walked inside I could feel this heavy weight on my chest… I couldn’t move my feet forward no matter how hard I tried. It was like a force was trying to keep me out, that someone didn’t want me to see what I was about too.”

Harry realized what Addy was about to tell him. He saw the tears trickling down her cheek in a flood, staining them with the grief that she still had within her. Instinctively Harry grabbed her and engulfed her body with his arms. She released a crushing sob indicating the exact moment she broke.

“You don’t need to say anything else Addy.” He held her trembling body as she cried into his chest. Showering her with a cascade of kisses he tried to stop her sobs while running his fingers soothingly through her hair.

“I tried to help him…” She sputtered out between gasps of breath. “He was just lying there cold Harry.”

“I know… I know you did.”

His heart broke for her. A stray tear trickled down his cheek landing on her soft brunette hair. Harry had never seen Adalyn break like this, not even the release of the article could surmount this pain that he witnessed her in. He only wished he had known sooner for he would not have allowed himself to put her through any more in her life. How she ended up the way she was amazed him after all she had been through.

“It’s ok… let it out.”

Her brother could not live with PTSD no matter what he did, a fact that brought a profound sense of fear within him. Alexander had eventually found his own peace like much service men and women had ultimately done, but in return it left Adalyn’s family severed.

“Harry I need you to be ok…” Addy begged him knowing exactly what she was referring to. Lately he found it tedious to go to his sessions, like it was a waste of time. He now had no choice after what Addy told him about her brother. Harry knew how bad it could get and he would be damned if he put her through it all again all because of his pride.

He continued to hold her body feeling the tears dampening his chest. Harry was still puzzled how she managed to hide this vital fact from him; even throughout his whole deployment she never mentioned a word. Shaking that thought on his mind he tried to be present in comforting her.

Glancing down at the watch that now served as a constant reminder to never stop fighting no matter how bad his PTSD got. Adalyn had entrusted him with Alexander’s watch and now Harry understood why. It meant more to her than anything in this world. It was a piece of her heart he would wear everyday as a reminder of her and what he was fighting for.

Harry felt her body move in his arms, the sobs gently subsiding. Her head lifting to reveal the aftermath of her crying uncontrollably in his arms; blood shot eyes with drenched eye lashes and tear stained cheeks which she eagerly wiped away. Harry brushed away stray pieces of her brunette hair off of her face while she sniffled.

Her reddened green eyes looked to him, locking in his gaze as they shared a silent moment. Addy’s features hardened, her eyes narrowed slightly at him.

“Don’t make me go through that again…” Addy half warned half pleaded with him as her green eyes filled with fear.

“I promise I won’t.” He swore to her, but she turned her face away from him as if she had heard it all before and didn’t believe his promising words.

Gently cupping her cheek Harry turned her head to look back at him. His blue eyes stared right into her being making her see that he meant it. He needed Addy to believe him.

“I promise I won’t… ever.” In that moment he vowed that he would not let her down. He would do anything in his power to not bring her to the same tears she had cried just now. If he didn’t have motivation before, he now did.

That motivation was Adalyn.

[arielsojourner]

Vader Strikes Back - Part the Fourth

Not beta read/really rough/not really proof read/plot holes and OUT of order.  Also spoilers for the original first story in AO3 Back From the Future: Episode VI The Clone Wars.  Check the tag #vader strikes back on my page for the other parts to this mess/fic outline. Again I value feedback and ideas if you have any. 

  *

Fives wanted to move. His back itched. The view of the medical quarters ceiling  grew boring after about 20 minutes when he was finally allowed to lie face up after days on his belly. Quick was weaning him off the good drugs but he couldn’t just sleep the day away. At this angle he couldn’t do anything. He wanted to get out of bed and do something.

But he was lucky that his spine was still intact, he was lucky to be alive.

(A year ago, perhaps two, an injury like this would have meant decommissioning. Now resources were used to keep him alive, heal him. He was very lucky. He knew that.)

Others hadn’t been so lucky.

Fives closed his eyes and clenched his fists. The casualties reports of clones fighting clones was sickening, there were Jedi dead in the field at the hands of their own troopers. And to top it all off, his teacher was dead. So many dead and he was stuck in this prone position for at least another week before he’d be allowed to start physical therapy. And even when he was back on his feet, who would teach him and his brothers now?

Yes, the Sith Master had been defeated. Yes, the damn chip was out of his head. Yes, he had the Force and medical treatment and the war was over and he should be grateful. He should be happy that he was alive but all he was was frustrated and pissed off and worried.

If only he could get up and do something productive!  If only he could be of some use!

“What do you think you’re doing?” Quick barked.

Fives turned his head to see which patient had earned his ire this time. (He didn’t dare raise his head under threat of being strapped down for the duration of his convalescence.) He needn’t have actually looked. He could guess who it was.

“I’m better, I don’t need to be here!” Hardcase argued even as he hopped back over to his bed, thwarted in his most recent escape attempt.

Quick shoved him down and checked the bacta patch over his leg. “You nearly bled to death, you moron. We’ve had to ration the bacta with all the injuries. It isn’t healed yet. You put pressure on it now the wound could reopen and you could die!”

“Aw, c’mon. It wasn’t as bad as all that,” he protested trying to bat the medic’s hands away.

“This is the third time today. And you didn’t even bother to steal a hoverchair this time! Do I need to strap you down? Because I will!”

“Look, Quick, I’ve got stuff to do I can’t do in here,” Hardcase wheedled. “It’s been weeks.”

“And just what can’t wait until you’re not at risk of losing your leg or your life, trooper?” The medic demanded, hands on his hips.

“Have you been watching the holonet? Have you heard what they’re saying about Luke and Vader? We need to be doing something to help!”

“What?! What’ve they been saying?” Fives interrupted, raising his voice to be heard. “Hardcase?” he asked worriedly.

“No holonet in here; my patients must all rest,” Quick insisted firmly.

“They’re saying that Vader’s trying to take over the galaxy or something, that Palpatine was his master. They’re saying Luke was helping,” Hardcase said hotly. “It’s total kriffing banthashit and someone needs to set the record straight. They were heroes! We were all heroes!”

“Who’s saying it?” Fives asked urgently, forgetting himself for a moment and trying to sit up only for all the monitors around him to start beeping warningly. “Why would they–?” he began, in turns furious and horrified.

“Lay down, trooper!” Quick yelled rushing over to his bed.

“There’s some new report out,” Mixer said from the other side of the ward. “Uni told me about it when he stopped by.  They say the Order’s going to hunt down Vader for going after Palpatine and his allies. They say that Luke wasn’t even a Jedi Knight.”

“Banthashit,” Hardcase snarls. “What’d I tell you, total kriffing banthashit! We need to do something. Fives, Fives we need to–!”

“And what exactly are you going to do about it, may I ask?” Quick asked. “Don’t you think Captain Rex already knows?”

“Luke was our teacher. He was our Commander,” Fives said. “He and Vader came and killed Krell. They got the chips out of our heads and healed us. They gave us all our freedom and ended the war. Hardcase is right. We’re troopers; even laid up there’s got to be something we can do to help.”

Mixer and the others who were awake voiced their loud agreement to Five’s words, some sitting up, others trying to stand. Quick turned around frantically, not sure where to go first to stop the full scale uprising of his patients.

“We could help with reports, or gather intel, or hells even go on the holonet and let everyone know the truth,” Fives continued, rallying the others, lifting his head slightly. “Where’s Echo, is he still on duty? Where’s Hack Squad? We need a holoscreen in here. We need to know what’s going on. We need to comm the 104th and the 212th. Where’s Vader? What–”

“All right! All right! I’ll get a holoscreen in here if and only if you all get back into your beds this second troopers, do you understand me?” Quick yelled, reaching the end of his rope. “Lie back down!”

Grumbling the men obeyed.

“Get a big one, we all need to be able to see and hear,” Hardcase insisted as he relaxed back down.  

“Don’t push your luck,” Quick retorted rushing over to check the clone’s blood pressure and tsking in dismay at what he saw.  “If you go to sleep now, I’ll see what I can do,” he added a bit softer.

“And let Chatterbox and Flare and the others to come by. We need to talk about what we’re going to do,” Fives called out.

“Sleep!”

*

Obi-Wan thought he had set the bottle down on the edge of the table, but it turns out he’d missed by quite a margin. He stared at the shattered glass and alcohol on the floor. It was such a waste of good liquor, he mourned. Luckily, the house had a fully stocked bar.

Grabbing his glass, Obi-Wan went to get another bottle, knocking over a chair and a decorative plant along the way.

“What is going on? Obi-Wan, are you hurt?” Padme entered the room in a rush. “I heard a noise and–“ She stopped in her tracks.

The Jedi Master turned slowly, bottle and glass now in hand. “Senator,” he said in greeting and then turned his attention to getting more drink into his glass.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“It looks like your getting drunk,” she answered, crossing her arms over her chest.

“No, Senator. I am getting black out drunk. I am getting so drunk I stop thinking for a few hours. So I stop seeing it, him, every time I blink.”

Her face grew wary. “You watched the vid.”

“I watched the vid,” he confirmed toasting her and then knocking back the entire glass. “What an excellent suggestion you had. I didn’t realize what a total and abject failure I was until I watched the vid. Thank you for that.” He wiped his mouth with his hand, nearly dropping the bottle. “I mean, there’s my Padawan all grown up in a life support suit slaying the Sith Master even after falling to the Dark side. And there’s baby Luke, all grown up and now quite dead after enduring the agony of Force lightning at the hands of the same Sith Master. The Sith Master incidentally who’s been ruling the Republic and controlling the Separatist, who was right under our nose, who nearly exterminated the entire Order using our own troops.”

“Obi-Wan …”

“I’m not sure how much worse I can screw up, Sennan– Padme. As a Jedi, as a General, as a teacher, as a friend. I let that monster near my Padawan, let him do gods know what to him since he was a boy, only a boy. I am quite sure,” he continued staggering and nearly tripping on the fallen chair as he came closer to her. “No one has failed as greatly as I have in the history of the Order.” He waved his hand to cut her off when she opened her mouth to interrupt. “No, no really. Jedi have lost students before, yes. My own Master lost a student. Xanatos. Always trying to kill me. But to kriff up so badly that your Fallen Sith Lord student comes back in time to fix things, now that’s a new low, deserving of a place of honor in the Archives.”

Padme grabbed hold of the bottle and the glass and yanked them out of Obi-Wan’s hands. “Enough of this. I know you’re hurt and shocked, but–“

“I was going to talk to Anakin. I was going to talk to him but he’s in the nursery, sleeping on the floor. He did that sometimes in the beginning. He wasn’t used to the sleep couch. He was cold, so he’d make a nest in a corner of his room. I used to tell him off for hoarding blankets. I was such a bad Master.”  He stepped backward, reaching for the couch and finding it with one hand, flopped down on the cushions. “ I don’t want to lie to him anymore. I don’t want to tell him that the war is good, that the Order knows what its doing, that he’s doing good, and he needs to keep fighting and fighting and fighting. He’s very good a fighting and killing,” he said mournfully.

“Yes,” Padme agreed softly setting down the bottle and the glass. “Anakin’s very good at killing. All of the Jedi are.”

“You sound like Satine,” he says crossly. “Warriors can’t be peacekeepers. Soliders can only do one thing. If your only tool is a weapon, everyone looks like a target,” he parrots in a Mandalore accent.

“I can’t say I disagree. That was probably the plan all along. Sheev Palpatine was famous for such tactics when he was a Senator.”

“And he was in front of us the whole time. We saved his life a dozen times. He talked of democracy and we happily helped build his Sith Empire for him,” Obi-Wan spat. “He played the kindly old man while he dripped poison into my Padawan’s ear. I let him– I let him–“ He wiped one shaking hand over his face and breathed, trying to release his anger. “And he won. He won. Vader is proof of that. Force knows what they did … After. Killed everyone, I imagine.” He touched his throat, remembering the durasteel grip, the Forcestorm of hate and betrayal.

“Now that you know, what will you do?” Padme asked.

“Do?”

“Do you plan to tell the Jedi Order? Do you plan to lock Anakin up or kill him preemptively?”

“What? No! No, of course not! Anakin is not Vader!” he yelled defensively. ���How can you say that?”

“Anakin was terrified to tell you of our marriage, of the babies. He believed you to be more loyal to the Order and the Council than him.” Obi-Wan sputtered at that but some part of him whispered that Anakin had every right to think that about him. “The war and constant fighting has taken a toll. He is suffering and in pain. Your Order teaches that those types of feelings aren’t allowed, that they lead to the Dark side, to somehow becoming evil like the flick of a switch. Knowing that in some other time and place he became Vader … I have a right to know what you plan to do to my husband.”

“Nothing! I plan to do nothing!” Obi-Wan tried to stand. “He’s my brother. I love him! I would never– I could never kill him! Never!”

Dark eyes watch him for a long moment.

“I promised him. I promised Anakin I would stay with him and help make things right. I meant it. Forget about the the Council and the war. I said I wanted to help and I will, Padme. Not because of the Code or the Order or-or some promise to my dying Master, but because I care for him and I don’t want to see him hurting, not anymore, not if I can help it. I’m going to help. I swear it.”

“And Vader?” Padme asked softly. “Will you help him too?”

“Vader?” Obi-Wan drew back in shock.

“He’s lost everyone and everything. His son … my son is dead. He will need our help.”

“I … he’s a Sith,” Obi-Wan tried to explain.

“And what, Sith can’t be redeemed? Sith can’t make new and better choices? Sith can’t save the galaxy and defeat evil? I don’t believe that,” she said sharply turning and looking away from him. “I don’t care what his name is now, he was once Anakin Skywalker. I can tell by what he’s done. There is good in him.”

“Padme, once a Jedi starts down the Dark path, their destiny is fixed and dominated by death and suffering.”

“He saved us all. He and Luke. And now, he’s alone.”

Obi-Wan swallowed hard. It went against everything he had been taught and believed his whole life. But then again, what he believed and was taught said that time travel was impossible and that Sith were incapable of good. Vader had already disproven both points.

And he was alone. Anakin never made good choices when he was left all alone.

It made him dizzy just thinking about it. But then again, it may be the alcohol.

“I will do what I can,” he said finally.