#everyone: dilf? dilf?? single old man?

[theloveinc]

windbreaker x reader - sakura, suo, sugishita, kiryu, ume + togame AS DADS 🤍🤌🏻

(warning - mentions of bio kids/birth/nursing + etc!)

HARUKA SAKURA - goes from the panicked dad to the dad who can handle five children at once...

His first year of parenthood is mainly... chaos. It's him struggling to change a diaper with less than six baby wipes. It's him going on patrol with spit up on his shirt. It's falling asleep as soon as his head his the pillow, barely any spare moments left in the day to spend with you without baby by your sides.

His third year of parenthood, however? His third year has him with two kids on his hip and one hanging off his back, all while he's in the kitchen warming up bottles and scrambling eggs for lunch with enough time once everyone's down for a nap for him to sneak you into your bedroom to spend a surprise hour under the sheets.

It doesn't matter if the kids are his or not, he runs his household like a preschool military... even if, at the end of the day, he can't tell you how he managed to do it. Sakura always knows where every kid is stationed in the house, what they're all doing and want to do next, and who needs a meal or a nap or anything in between. It's like he's psychic of sorts, because one kid could just be popping out of their bedroom and he'd already have their milk and afternoon snacks at the ready.

He's also a miracle at handling fights and spats, able to sit down every single child involved and help them talk it out before making them apologize. It's almost as though he was made to be a dad... if his main purpose on earth wasn't already... fighting people?

(It makes sense, though; he's grown to be such a peace keeper.

That being said, just because he can handle five kids at once doesn't mean they can handle him. He can really be Mr. Tough Love sometimes, especially to kids that aren't his own and don't yet know he means everything with love.)

(Also, he will jog around the neighborhood with a stroller lmao, or power walk with the youngest on his back. The neighborhood ladies LOVE him. Keep him locked up for his own safety. Eventual dilf.)

-

HAYATO SUO - the dad to an extremely fussy baby...

Suo being the type of man that he is (and has always been)... you never would've guessed that one of the few things able to sway such an infallible man could be his very own baby.

That first year after your... very expressive... daughter is born is mostly spent with Suo in shambles. Neither of you are sure if it's just the lack of sleep and all the other emotions that come with being a first time dad that are making him so flustered when he can't figure out why she's crying or what she wants... or if your daughter really is just that powerful to have the almost-always-unfazed Suo so pissed at a piece of broccoli for simply existing under his daughter's nose.

Every patrol around town or date night or time spent without your daughter on his lap is time he spends PONDERING how he can master the whole... "being a good dad" thing. One of the few things he's not able to immediately master and pull off with grace.

He eentually gets the hang of it though, once his kids grow into their security and start acting just like him.

(For every kid you have, there's at least a year spent like this. No matter how much he's learned or how easy it becomes for him to read his children, it's like the process resets as soon another bugger shows up.

Of course, all his kids are born fussy because HE was a fussy baby. But don't tell him that.)

-

KYOTARO SUGISHITA - the "go get my wallet" dad...

Like all the time he spent in Ume's garden during his youth, when Sugishita becomes a dad, the best way he knows how to spoil his girls is by investing every single spare moment of his time at their side... and heeding every. single. one of their requests.

As soon as they're old enough to walk (and no longer need him carrying them around everywhere, which he is devastated about, btw)... he's not only trailing behind them everywhere, but also insisting they get whatever their little hearts could desire.

...which sometimes means he's secretly pulling out his wallet and paying off the employee at the zoo to let them stay another hour after their tickets expire... and sometimes means he's coming home from the grocery store with three extra bags of snacks and four, brand new toys.

(This indulgence of his does not go away even as they age. If his daughters want a caviar bento every day for lunch, they're getting that caviar bento no matter what. No matter the cost. No matter the labor. And yes, before you ask, he makes their lunches too.)

Discipline also doesn't really exist for this guy, it's lowkey embarrassing because YOU WOULD THINK it would, wouldn't you?

-

MITSUKI KIRYU - the dad whose kid ends up wearing mad drip to day care...

You know those memes that sometimes come around that are like... "hispter" or "swaggy" baby? Kiryu ends up with one of those, sort of... unintentionally, even if the outfits don't stop when you point out how much needless concern he has for his son's fashion.

(It's not even that he's trying to make your child is fashionable... it's just how naturally good he is at buying clothes; he always comes home from the department store with a whole ensemble rather than just the two or three pairs of shirts and pants you asked for.

It's a little... self-conscious-making, honestly... to walk into a preschool with the nicest dressed toddler in tow, wearing clothes even he doesn't care about, and that are obviously going to get dirty the second he starts playing in the dirt (which he does, practically the second you let go of his hand. He's a wanderer, lol.)

Not that Kiryu cares a thing about your baby making a mess in his specially chosen, mini flannel (not that I need to say so, but he does his share of laundry)... but when all the other kids are in regular leggings and Minecraft t-shirts... it's definitely sort of funny that yours wears baby converse and button-ups.

-

HAJIME UMEMIYA - picture man dad…

Not only does Ume have pictures of all his kids happiest moments and biggest milestones, he has pictures of every second in between:

Pictures from between your legs of your baby literally being born, videos of the next one crowning. Pictures of your kid's first poop, or of their diaper rash from when he panicked and tried to emergency contact your doctor. Pictures from the first night they slept in their big kid beds, to pictures of their first (and worst) pimples.

He's lowkey (highkey) a vlog dad without the youtube channel; similarly, he also tries to record everything. Birthdays, sibling fashion shows, nighttime routines, wake-ups on holidays, fights, YOU NAME IT, he's pulling out his phone.

You honestly wouldn't think he does anything with the pictures but sometimes you find him asleep in bed just going through everything... he loves his kiddos that much <3

(He never forgets to take pictures of you both, either. Mostly you, but also some of the moments you're together, like your outfits or when you're on a date. He wants to be able to hold on to his memories forever, and give his kids something to remember you both by when they grow up.)

(Almost everyone has him muted on social media too except for Sugi lmaooo because he posts way. too. many. pictures and writes 500 word captions even over something as small as a lost tooth...)

(And lmao, he has at least one kid who is always ready to strike a pose, and in fact, does strike a pose whenever there's a camera out.)

-

JO TOGAME - the most hands-on father who will NOT put his child down...

For Togame... fatherhood essentially turns him into a willing jungle gym... likely due to the fact that when your baby was first born, he happily took on the night feeds and changings and often fell asleep in the armchair right next their crib just waiting for the next time he could hold them...

But you know those dads you sometimes see out in public, who play with their kids the way they'd play with a monkey? No sooner than he's finally able to is he holding your child up on his shoulders or swinging them around by the ankles like a sack of potatoes every time they're together; causing you to have a heart attack whenever you witness it, and everyone in the general vicinity with a shitty partner to ask how you "got him to be so involved with raising with your kids."

(Of the two of you, he's actually the one who gets antsy when people who aren't close to either of you ask to see or touch the baby. He's the one who hovers cautiously when his cousins pester you about letting them have a turn holding the baby, or when another relative makes a joke about you hiding them from family when you just went off to nurse in private. He is Pissed and is not afraid to express that lmao.)

It's really a blessing and a curse... because on one hand it's sooo sweet to watch them together... but then on another, your child is just, if not more, clingy than him... and cries louder than any other kid in the room when Togame finally lets go of the hug on their first day of preschool.)

-

Thank you for reading!

[witchywithwhiskey]

andy barber + "you don't need anything, you want it"

optional scenario: assassin/mercenary

undone by a pretty spring sundress

pairing: dilf!andy barber x babysitter!female reader

warnings: 18+ content (minors dni!!!), smut, piv sex, unprotected sex, creampie, unspecified age gap (but reader is def out of college), thigh riding, dirty talk, daddy kink, praise kink, light bdsm, pet names (sweetheart, angel), some bratting, referenced spanking, fluffy ending

word count: 2,100ish

a/n: instead of assassin/mercenary Andy Barber, may i offer you dilf Andy Barber? 🫣 lol let's be honest, Andy is always a dilf 🤭 but i've already done ex's dad Andy and dbf August so i wanted to do a different trope and i've never done a babysitter fic so i gave it a shot!! hope you enjoy, Aspen!!

The sounds of shrieking laughter and childish games filtered into Andy Barber’s kitchen while you stood at the counter, putting together a bouquet of spring flowers that would sit nicely on his dining room table. You’d retreated into the house because you’d needed a break from the party Andy was hosting—the one he’d hired you for the afternoon to help him host.

It was a little outside your normal duties, since you typically worked as Andy’s babysitter, watching his young son on nights the single father had to work late at his law practice. You knew some of the parents in the neighborhood thought you were a little old to be babysitting, given you were old enough to be married and have a family of your own. 

But you ignored them because you enjoyed babysitting for Andy. It helped supplement the meager pay you received from your day job, and you liked spending time with Andy’s son Jacob, who was a sweet kid. More than that, though, you found yourself really enjoying spending time with Andy.

And if you weren’t mistaken, Andy liked having you around as well. 

In the months that you’d worked for Andy, you’d grown increasingly aware of the way he stared at you when he thought you weren’t paying attention. 

His crystal blue eyes would drift down to your tits when you were looking something up on your phone. And more than once, you could’ve sworn you felt his gaze on your ass when you’d bent over to pick up some toys on the floor. But each time, when you turned to the older man, he was innocently looking elsewhere.

Altogether, you’d gotten the impression that Andy might want you to be more than his babysitter, but he hadn’t yet acted on the heated looks he gave you. So you may have taken matters into your own hands and worn a skimpy little sundress to the party he was hosting for the neighbors and all their kids. And you were delighted when it had the intended effect.

You hadn’t been in the kitchen for more than a few minutes when Andy cornered you, using the moment when everyone else was distracted by watching the children play a game they’d made up to approach you. His body crowded you into the counter, close enough that you could feel the warmth of him brushing against the swaths of bare skin not covered by your sundress.

“I need to speak to you upstairs,” Andy murmured in your ear. His warm breath ghosted over your cheek and bare shoulder, causing goosebumps to raise all along your arms.

But you stifled the shiver racing down your spine and continued fluffing the flowers in the vase in front of you, pretending you didn’t notice the demanding edge of Andy’s voice or the way he crowded into you. After all, he’d waited months to approach you, and you decided you wanted to have a little fun with him before you gave in to the tension crackling between the two of you.

“You don’t need anything, you want it,” you responded cheekily, your tone light and playful. “Isn’t that what you’re always telling Jacob, Mr. Barber?” You tossed your head to the side and gave the older man a sly smile over your shoulder.

Andy’s expression darkened, his soft mouth pulling down in a frown that was framed perfectly by his neatly trimmed beard. He looked particularly delicious in a simple blue t-shirt and jeans—though you also appreciated all the suits he wore for his job as a lawyer. You’d spent many a night imagining Andy undressing you entirely while he stayed all buttoned up in one of his suits, making you hump the bulge in his slacks…

Andy’s big hand wrapping around your upper arm brought you back from your distracted thoughts.

“I assure you, sweetheart, what I’m feeling is a need—not a want,” Andy growled, dragging you away from the counter and forcing you to abandon your bouquet. You didn’t protest, though, as he led you toward the stairs and up to the second floor of his suburban Massachusetts home. 

Andy had only just pulled you into his bedroom and closed the door when he spun you around and crowded into you until your back hit the door. Then, with a muttered curse, Andy ducked down and captured your lips with his own, kissing you so passionately, your head spun. 

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed him back just as fervently, your mouth parting and allowing his tongue to twine with yours. He groaned into your lips as he tasted you, the deep sound of his pleasure making you hot all over, wetness gathering between your thighs while your mouths slid together. You squirmed against Andy’s hard body, pressing your softness against him as your body yearned for friction.

Andy shoved one of his legs between yours, his big hands gripping your hips tightly and shifting you so that your pussy rubbed against his thigh. You wrenched your mouth from his with a sharp gasp, your body rocking against his as pleasure shot through you from the tips of your fingers to the ends of your toes. Andy watched you with hooded eyes as you humped against him, hands sliding down your sides.

“Wish I could watch you ride my thigh all afternoon, angel, but I need to be inside you,” Andy groaned, reaching beneath your dress and hooking his fingers in your panties, moving you back to pull them down your trembling legs. You let out a little whine at the loss of friction against your pussy, but Andy only hushed you. “Shh, I know sweetheart, you’re needy too, aren’t ya? Need daddy to fuck you, huh?”

Your head fell back against the door with a thunk and you let out a breathy, surprised, “Daddy,” tasting the way the word sounded on your tongue and enjoying it far too much. 

“That’s it, angel, call me daddy,” Andy murmured fervently before capturing your lips in another kiss. You could feel his hands working his jeans open and pulling out his cock, but you couldn’t move your arms from around his shoulders; you were pretty sure if you did, you’d collapse to his feet. “Christ, I knew ya would be perfect—been wanting this for so long, but that pretty spring sundress of yours was my undoing.”

A pleased smirk curled the edges of your mouth at Andy’s confession, and you decided you’d tell him later that had been your intention with wearing it. For the moment, though, you simply leaned up to whisper some teasing words in Andy’s ear. “If you need me so bad, then take me, daddy.”

Andy hooked an arm around your waist and spun you again, walking you back to his bed and easing you down onto the plush softness of his blankets while his hips settled between your thighs. His cock rested against your bare pussy, making you moan with desire.

“Gonna have to make this quick, sweetheart,” Andy murmured as he brushed kisses to your jaw and cheeks, his hips grinding his length against your soaked folds, getting himself drenched in your arousal. “But next time I’ll fuck you soft and slow like you deserve, alright?”

“OK, daddy,” you said on a moan, tilting your hips to grind your bare pussy against his cock. Andy buried a grunt in your neck and reached between your bodies, adjusting his cock until the tip pressed against your entrance. 

Then, all at at once, Andy pushed inside you, both of you moaning at the feel of his thick, hard cock stretching out your tight, warm pussy. It was better than you ever imagined, having him inside you, your body taking his entire length and joining you to him in the most intimate way.

“Feel so good, daddy,” you murmured breathily, your mind spinning with pleasure. You cupped Andy’s face in your hands, your nails raking through his beard gently, as you stared up at him. You hoped every bit of the pleasure you felt was clear on your face, so he could see how good he made you feel.

Andy seemed to, his smile filled with affection and arousal of his own. He leaned down and brushed a kiss to your lips, teasing you with the flick of his tongue before pulling away and catching your eye. 

“Ready, angel?” 

“Yes, daddy,” you answered sweetly, more ready for him than he could even know.

Then Andy took what he needed, and gave you what you needed, too. He fucked you hard and fast, pumping his thick cock into your tight channel with a ruthlessness you’d only ever glimpsed when he’d take work calls at home. He was brutal, and you wanted to scream your pleasure, but Andy’s hand covered your mouth, keeping you from being overheard by all the neighbors crowded in the backyard.

When he seemed to be getting close, Andy reached between your bodies, his thumb finding your clit and rubbing in tight little circles until you shattered apart around him. You came so hard, you bit down on the flesh of his palm to keep yourself quiet.

Andy didn’t seem to mind, grunting through the sting of your teeth and the delicious clench of your pussy, fucking you harder until he pressed deep and came inside you. You shivered when you felt his load leak out around his cock, in awe when you realized just how much come he must’ve pumped you full of that it was overflowing. 

As you caught your breath, Andy peppered your face with light kisses, praising you. “Such a good girl, sweetheart, so fucking good for daddy.” He kissed the apple of your cheek, his beard tickling you and making you giggle softly. “Now, I need you to keep my come safe inside you for the rest of the afternoon, can you do that, angel?” Andy asked, catching your eye and giving you a serious look. His hand pressed against your lower belly, making your pussy flutter while butterflies took flight in your chest. 

It was on the tip of your tongue to simply say yes, but a delightful thought took hold of your mind and you found your lips forming the same words they had earlier in Andy’s kitchen. “You don’t need anything, daddy, you want it,” you said, giggling when Andy’s face turned stormy.

“You’re lucky we have to get back to our guests, angel,” Andy growled pressing his forehead to yours while he glared at you, though there wasn’t much anger to his gaze—only desperate arousal. “Otherwise I’d put you over my knee and show you what I do when you’re a bratty bad girl.”

You were helpless to your body’s reaction to his words, your cunt clenching hard around Andy’s cock and making him chuckle. “I need it, daddy,” you cried, hands fisting in his t-shirt and trying to hold him close.

But Andy was already moving away, pulling out and stuffing his cock back in his pants. You watched him with a pout while he grinned down at you. When his appearance was presentable enough, Andy hauled you up from the bed and smoothed your dress down over your curves, fixing it for you. 

“Be a good girl and help me get through the rest of this party and we can have some fun later,” Andy promised, pressing a kiss to your forehead. Then, like he couldn’t help himself, he caught your mouth in one last deliciously sinful kiss. 

You returned to the party with Andy, finishing your bouquet of spring flowers and putting it out on the table. Then, you helped him wrangle the kids and their parents for dessert, everyone enjoying the beautiful spring evening. 

If anyone from the neighborhood noticed that, after you returned, Andy treated you more like his partner than his babysitter, they didn’t say anything. (In fact, in the weeks and months that followed, when it became clear the two of you were together, each of your neighbors would try to take credit for setting the two of you up.) When everyone left, they thanked you just as much as Andy for hosting the wonderful party.

Once everyone was gone and you’d helped Andy put Jacob to bed, he delivered on his promise of rewarding you for your good behavior. Later that night when you told him you’d worn your skimpy little outfit just to see if he’d finally make a move on you, Andy chuckled and murmured that he’d forgive your naughty trick just that once. Then, he made sure to show you just how undone he was by your pretty spring sundress.

[hritika13-tamboli]

Jeon Jungkook Fic Recs List 2...

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Series :

Day by day || dilf!jungkook x best friend!reader (f) | single dad au || @hansolmates

Summary : a series of drabbles about two best friends raising a child together

Aim for the heart || hitman!jk x female reader | hitman au || @writemywaytoyourheart

Summary : Jeon Jungkook is an infamous hitman, known for his inability to fail at whatever job is thrown his way. At least, up until now. Y/n, a kind-hearted and full of life teacher, is his newest target. Jeon isn’t sure who would put a hit on this seemingly innocent girl, but fortunately, that isn’t his problem. All he has to do is pull the trigger.

Bedeviled || demon!jungkook x female reader | demon au || @writemywaytoyourheart

Summary : Money. Fame. Power. Love. Health. Courage. Strength. Humans will trade their souls for anything, unaware of how their selfish desires will fade away as they do; growing feeble and pathetic, until there's nothing left but the ghost of their youth, cowering in a corner until old age disposes of it.  Convincing yourself to go to the Underworld? Easy... Walking through to get something that you've waited many years for, accompanied by a demon that will stop at nothing to make sure your soul belongs to him? Maybe not so much. Making deals with the devil is a tricky business; one you might not have realized could end in something much more painful than death itself if you make a single mistake.

Animal : Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 || Boxer Jungkook x Reader | boxer au || @cutaepatootie

Summary : The girl looked at the man who was in his 60s , lying on the hospital bed fighting for his life, he was trying to talk with her “I don’t want to go without telling something.” The girl frown looking at the old man “What do you mean, Mr. Jeon?” “I don’t want to die without telling someone about her,” he says, his voice softening when he says ‘her’. “I don’t want to disappear without the world knowing about her and what she did for me.” “About her?” the girl frowns. Maybe his daughter? His sister? The man turns his head and faces the girl, a soft, distant smile plastered on his lips. The gesture is nostalgic, sad, almost loving. “Y/N,” he murmurs, the name rolling off his lips softly, just as softly as the waves of the sea roll over the sand. “Her name was Y/N.”

Into the woods || goblin jungkook x reader | goblin au || @junqkook

Summary : getting hurt and stumbling upon a goblin in the forest leaves you completely at his mercy, though you aren’t sure if that’s necessarily a bad thing.

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One-shot :

The habits of the broken heart || Jungkook x reader | soulmate au || @softykooky

Summary : jungkook and you are soulmates. so says the matching crescent moons on both your wrists. however, things are never as easy as they seem, and you are quick to learn that falling in love with someone who does not believe in love is a one-way ticket to heartbreak.  alternatively, “You still are, you know. Worth it.” You release a shaky breath. “But I was stupid to think that I am too.”

Something in the heir || knight!jungkook x palace woman!reader | non-royalty palace au || @hisunshiine

Summary : The king of your empire will be leaving soon to head off to fight against Soiros, a foreign enemy, and his seven knights of the order of Bangtania will lead the way. One of the seven, Jeon Jungkook, with his dark eyes and easy smile, is someone you long for. Children believe he has slain dragons, and adults think he’s killed over one thousand Soirian soldiers. Everyone thinks he is a heartbreaker, making his way through every unwed wench in the land...but all he wants is you.

Miracle of the season || Angel Jungkook x Fallen Angel F! reader | angel au | soulmate au || @cybrsan

Summary : Cast out of Heaven after a painful betrayal, you find yourself having to navigate the intricacies of human life without any guidance from the Creator or the family you have always known. Things only get worse as the holiday season reaches its peak, with reminders of the life you left behind everywhere you look. When a familiar face pops up, you aren’t sure whether to consider it a blessing or a curse.

Amortentia || Jungkook x reader | hogwarts au || @jungkxook

Summary : jungkook loves everything strawberry but the simple pleasure is always kept hidden, stowed away as if some hideous secret to protect the rumours that had built up around him — until a love potion outs him.

Black magic   || human!jk x witch!reader (f) | magic uni! au || @hansolmates

Summary : a witch with an ambition for learning, you stumble across a crushing spell in the middle of the forbidden section. of course you have to try it out! what happens when the crushing spell not only has jeon jungkook crushing on you, but you crushing on him?

(Un)crushed    || human!jk x witch!reader (f) | magic uni! au || @hansolmates

Summary : you’ve liked jungkook for the longest time, but you believe it’s time to cut the cord—literally 

What's wrong?  || Jungkook x reader | slice of life!au || @oddinary4bts

Summary : Reader overhears Jungkook talk to his friends and mention how she’s always clinging on to him and doesn’t let him breathe sometimes and that she’s annoying because she’s too loud and energetic. When he comes back home she acts the complete opposite and tries to avoid him without letting him know what’s going on, until he realises that he actually prefers her clingy and loud🥺

High demand || Dealer! Jungkook x Reader || @bunnyhugs77

Summary : modern day Romeo and Juliet

Coin toss ||Jungkook x reader detective | agency au || @yoondoze

Summary : you and jeongguk go way back, even before you were the menacing duo many knew you to be, even before he brought you into the mafia and left you there to join the city’s detective agency. a call for cooperation comes out of a common enemy, requiring the two of you to reconcile for one last mission.

[pilfappreciator]

Been seeing lots of Bruce x Reader content which is fine! Great even! But I've seen absolutely NOBODY acknowledged the existence of his fine ass muppet wife so I went ahead and DID IT MYSELF 😤😤😤

Bruce/Brandi x Reader

Includes: GN! Reader, polyamory, lots of MILF/DILF appreciation (as there should be), Vacay Lovers

🧡 Chances are you first met them while visiting Vacay Island. Bruce welcomed you with open arms and that charming attitude of his, got you nice and situated for your stay. Eventually he introduced you to his lovely wife Brandi and the kids

💜 The couple warm up to you pretty quick. You've got a great personality, you never hesitate to help them out around the island, their kids adore you (not to mention you're pretty cute)

🧡 These two are honestly couple goals. Literally soulmates. They're super devoted to one another and its pretty obvious to everyone around that they're meant to be. I mean they literally have a gaggle of kids so yknow they're in it for the long run

💜 THAT BEING SAID!! It'd probably be a while before you three actually got together

🧡 Bruce and Brandi only have eyes for each other (at least at first). Introducing someone new into the relationship probably wouldn't even occur to them unless they got to know that person really well, and even then there'd still be long discussions between the two about whether they're really ready for that kind of change. What it would mean for the relationship, how it might affect them, their family and business, ect.

💜 These two never half-ass things. Both are the type to pour their entire souls into what they deem important so if you're gonna be with them, then you bet your ass that it's gonna be for the long haul. The three of you WILL retire and grow old together okay they will PERSONALLY see to it

🧡 But eventually, after you've known them for a year or two and once they've both come to terms with how they feel about you?

💜 BABES PREPARE TO GET SWEPT OFF YOUR FEET

🧡 These two are the perfect team (comes with co-owning a business and running a family ig)

💜 After years of being the heartthrob of BroZone, Bruce is an expert at putting his natural charm and good looks to use. This man is constantly making time to come over and strike up a conversation. And I think it's universally agreed that the guy is not shy or subtle once so ever, so expect a lot of compliments/winks/charming smirks thrown your way. This man is fully leaning up against the wall beside you, giving you that signature Casanova Smoulder(tm), all while telling you how he and Brandy are planning to add french fries to the bar menu

🧡 "But it's supposed to be a surpise until then so let's just keep this between the three of us. Okay, beautiful?" He says with a wink, raising a finger and briefly pressing it against your lips

💜 You probably shouldn't get so flustered over French fries... unfortunately Bruce is sexy and knows it 😔

🧡 Brandi isn't as on-the-nose as her husband but that doesn't mean she's any less effective. She managed to snag someone like Bruce afterall so you KNOW she's got game

💜 Definitely gives you just as many compliments and praise but she's very like... very nonchalant about it?? Like the two of you will be mid convo and she'll just randomly go "wow you are literally so gorgeous haha. Are you sure you're single?"

🧡 You have about five seconds to respond before she's moving on and telling you all about how one of her sons keeps getting stuck in ketchup bottles

💜 It's kinda hard to tell if she's actually flirting with you. She's pretty laid back compared to her husband and at certain times she seems like a bit of an airhead, so whenever she says something nice, it tends to come off as a casual compliment...

🧡 But then there are times where she'll like? Brush a strand of hair outta your face, or wipe some food from the corner of mouth unprompted, or point out a piece of jewelry you have on by running her fingers over it?? Her skin grazing your own just the barest amount??? All while she's giving you that look??????

💜 This woman is sneaky as fuck ngl

🧡 Expect to hear these two gush about each other on the daily. They are CONSTANTLY hyping each other up whenever they're apart (they're in love what do you expect?), but when you've got the BOTH OF THEM in front of you??

💜 They are a well-oiled machine. You are absolutely getting tag teamed by this duo. By the time you leave their company expect to be red in the face and your heart skipping a few beats

🧡 You get invited to a LOT of family meals. Mostly dinners, but sometimes lunch and even breakfast too. And believe me, there is no such thing as a quite meal with this family. They have 13 chaotic kids who are always getting into shit so expect to come outta the whole ordeal with a few food stains on your clothes

💜 look out for Bruce Jr. cuz that kid will for sure try to start a food fight

🧡 Bruce and Brandi are always super apologetic about any messes that occur (they know first hand how exhausting their gaggle of kids can be), but then you just smile and seem genuinely unbothered? Maybe even amused by it all??

💜 "Babe what's their ring size?"

"Brandi, honey, pretty sure we have to at least take them on a date first."

"I'm just asking for a friend!"

"...Am I the friend?"

"You know you are, babe."

🧡 Yeah if these two catch you hitting it off with their kids and showing a genuine interest in their hobbies/interest/lives?? They are SWOONING, vows are being MADE, rings are being CHOSEN—

💜 If at any point you recognize Bruce from BroZone, or if Brandi brings it up in conversation in an attempt to boost her man's rep, then prepare yourself because Bruce will most definitely start putting on a show

🧡 Under normal circumstances he'd be wayyyy more hesitant. Performing anything from his past doesn't bring up the best memories... but he's willing to bust out a good bop if it earns him brownie points in your book (and it better considering that his wife is always telling him how hot he looks whenever he's doing his "boy band thing" lol)

💜 OUTINGS WITH BRANDi!! This woman is taking you shopping or out to the nearest cafe/restaurant that just so happens to serve your favorite, what do you know! Sometimes she brings you along to meet her friends, all of whom are well aware of your existence wink wonk

🧡 Will swoon and fan herself whenever you offer to pay for things, but like as a joke!

💜 (not)

🧡 Chances are the kids already know what's up with the three of you. Maybe it doesn't click immediately but Bruce Jr. notices that how his parents treat and act around you is the same as they treat and act around each other, he goes blabbing to his siblings and soon enough they're all in on it. They don't entirely understand the complexity of the situation... but they're aware that one extra parent potentially means more presents for christmas sooooo

💜 These little shits are mischievous as hell. They are asking you what your favorite color is just to subtly drop the answer while Brandi is out shopping for trinkets. You mention what kind of music you're into and suddenly Bruce is looking up playlists

🧡 You better believe all 13 of them have started a betting pool going about who will confess first, you or their parents.

💜 Brandi's friends might be in on this betting pool. The other vacationers too

🧡 Eventually (after lots of pining and a fuck ton of patiently biding their time), Bruce and Brandi decide to take the leap and invite you into the relationship

💜 They invite you to dinner. It is a WHOLE ordeal and they've been planning months in advance. The kids are off being babysat by one of Brandi's friends (both parties were suspiciously cool with this sudden course of action). Their business is put on pause with little complaint from their customers (again, suspicious)

🧡 You're immediately drowned in compliments the second you show up at the door. You could legit just be dressed in your pj's and they're like "wow those sweatpants really make your eyes pop 😀" sjsjskakaka

💜 You are being waited on hand and foot the whole time. Bruce is manifesting every ounce of romanticism he can— flower petals everywhere, candles are lit, he's got a ukulele tuned and ready for when he eventually serenades you. Meanwhile Brandi has cooked you a feast made entirely of all your favorites and is tucking little flowers into your hair every now and then. At some point she hands you a cute piece of jewelry she saw while out shopping the other day. Just a little somethin somethin that immediately made her think of you <33

🧡 Overall, dinner is going great! The three of you are having a blast in each other's company and it's refreshing to be able to have a conversation without worrying about rambunctious kids or another pink eye outbreak. The atmosphere is quite yet intimate. Their hard work is not going to waste. You are thoroughly wooed

💜 And just when dessert is about to be served—

🧡 "We think you're really hot."

"Wha— BRANDi! My song!"

"Hmm? OH, was I supposed to wait till after—?"

💜 Yeahhh they kinda fumble the confession ngl. You'd think they'd be smoother but they are both: 1) very excited, and 2) very nervous

🧡 Nevertheless, their point gets across. For a moment they kinda panic because of how quite you are afterwards, but really you're just? Absolutely flabbergasted?? These two hotties wanna date YOU??? FR??????

💜 Of course once you manage to form a coherent response (hopefully a positive one), the couple is literally over the moon

🧡 Brandi's flapping her lil muppet hands all excited like "OMIGOSH THEY SAID YES?!"

💜 And Bruce is just smirking and all like "of course they did, honey, did you seriously think they'd say no to the two of us?" all while simultaneously releasing the death grip he had on his ukulele (this man is a fraud)

🧡 Victory dessert follows shortly after. Your hands become absolutely useless for the next few minutes because these two are DEFINITELY TAKING TURNS SPOON-FEEDING YOU AJSHAKAKAKA

💜 The night ends with the three of you hanging out on the couch, either with Bruce serenading you and Brandi or the three of you just cuddling in a pile (probably both ngl)

🧡 Cue the next morning. The kids come back just to find you all fast asleep in the living room, you in the middle with their parents on either side

💜 Pictures are 100% being taken

I love these two a lot, could you tell?

Thinkin about doing a PART TWO!! Lemme know what you guys think 👀

[ddejavvu]

mei you straight up rekindled my love for the outsiders with a single fic (the power u hold is immense girlie). domesticity for my poor greaser boys?! ahhh my brain was so fuzzy by the end of the fic. magnificent as always <3

so if you'd like requests i'm more than happy to oblige. darry was my first dilf crush (i mean he has several children in his care and i'd like to duck him. counted as a dilf in my 13 year old brain and counts as a dilf in my brain still lmao) so how about darry n reader mom and dadding all over the place; maybe they all go to the drive thru together, reader n darry are emergency contacts at the hospital and mischief is afoot, they get some time away from their several greaser children... or whatever scenario your beautiful brain cooks up. i hope this is a little inspiring and i send you tons of good vibes (and a big phat kiss. MWAH!!).

send me requests for the outsiders!

i'm so flattered <33 darry's been my fave for a loooong time i love that big beefy man omg <3

--

You'd think that six years old is the last age you'd ever have to worry about restaurant etiquette with, but apparently 18-year-olds can't handle themselves either.

"Two-Bit, you keep your feet to yourself under the table and stop kicking Ponyboy." You hiss, keeping your voice low so that none of the other patrons can hear you. There's not many times you'd ever try traipsing through a fancy restaurant with the entire gang, but Darry's managed to get himself promoted to worksite supervisor, which means less back-breaking labor and more cushy pay. It's a special occasion, and everyone's greased their hair as neatly as possible.

"He stole the piece of bread I wanted." Two-Bit insists, "He grabbed the biggest piece with the softest insides and he left me the heel!"

"We have two baskets," Darry passes the secondary bread basket over to Two, eyes glinting warningly, "Now listen to Y/N and quit kickin' my brother."

Ponyboy shares a grateful glance at Darry, but nothing more so as not to hurt his teenage ego. You're sure his shins are smarting, but he'd never admit it.

"That's the good stuff." Steve dips his hand into the basket as well, and together both boys clear it out, save for the heels. You watch Soda realize that he's been cheated, and before he can wrap his hand around the heel of the bread and chuck it across the table at Steve you catch his arm, staring dead into his eyes.

"Sodapop Patrick Curtis, if you throw food at this table, I'll give you a buzzcut."

His eyes widen, your threat proving effective. He runs a cautious hand over his styled hair as he sinks back into his seat, staring at his empty bread plate.

You sigh as you scoop your bread onto his plate, taking the heel for yourself and lamenting the loss of the soft innards.

"Y'all are too old for this shit." Dallas remarks, a look of distaste on his face, but no one points out that he's having a cigarette for an appetized instead of bread and butter.

"Pass me the menu, Steve?" Johnny asks, eyeing the large folded plastic tucked beneath Steve's plate. You see the moment he gets the idea, his eyes glinting mischievously as he goes to whip the menu out from beneath the plate without moving it.

"Don't- do not do that!" You break your own rules, landing a sharp kick against Steve's calf so that he stops in his tracks, "I swear you boys act like toddlers. Steve, pick up the plate and then hand Johnny the menu."

"Couldn't've made it anyways," Ponyboy mumbles, and any sympathy you'd had for the youngest teen vanishes when he challenges Steve.

"Oh yes I could'a," Steve argues, obeying your directions only to avoid another kick to the shin, "You don't know what you're talkin' about, kid, I could whip a tablecloth off a table without a fork movin' outta place."

"I've seen him do it," Soda nods, ever-loyal to his best friend, "Well- one glass broke, but it wasn't that bad."

"Wasn't my fault," Steve agrees, "It was the wind."

"Your table's in your basement, stupid," Dallas scoffs, "There ain't no wind in there."

"There's a window," Steve remarks hotly, perhaps pushing boundaries too much considering it's Dallas he's smarting off to, but Darry cuts in and effectively silences everyone.

"I'm gonna make every single one'uh you hoodlums walk home if you don't start behaving." Darry's tone keeps everyone silent, even Dally who watches Darry with a mixture of interest and amusement.

"Feet off your chairs," There's a rustle of movement as most boys adjust, "Elbows off the table," Another commotion, "And voices low. There's other people here, and if one of y'all launches a piece of bread across the room we're gonna get kicked out. Sit down, shut up, and figure out what you're eating."

Six heads duck shamefully towards their menus, and a blissful silence reigns over the table for the first time all night. You turn towards Darry with a shit-eating grin etched into your features, one that makes his cheeks warm as he tries occupying himself with his own menu.

You prop the plastic sheet up on the table between you, and it's large enough to cover your faces. You duck towards Darry and press a sweet kiss to his rosy cheek, "That was pretty intense, Superman. I liked it. Whipped 'em right into shape."

"Damn hooligans." Darry grumbles, letting his nose brush against yours.

"Scoundrels," You snicker, leaning in to press another kiss to his face, this time catching his lips.

"Whippersnappers." He murmurs against your mouth, the two of you shaking with laughter behind your menus.

"Unwilling audience members." Two-Bit snags the edge of your menu, tearing it away from you to reveal you and Darry with your noses pressed together, "Talk about poor table manners- I'm pretty sure you're supposed to save the boning for dessert."

"Y'all are gross," Soda's nose scrunches in faux-distaste, but you know he's thrilled that his brother has found you.

"You'd better hurry up and figure out what you want, then." You smirk teasingly at the group, "The sooner we order the sooner we eat, and the sooner we eat the sooner we can get out of here and get a room."

"Hurry up, Johnny," Dallas elbows the boy theatrically in the side, a sharp laugh coming from Johnny as Dallas smirks at the two of you, "If we wait any longer they might start making out behind the bread basket."

[avonne-writes]

I can’t stop thinking about DILF!Gale today...

Gale is in his mid-thirties and he has been a single dad since his wife, Marge, passed away five years ago. That was also the last time he had any sort of romantic relationship whatsoever.

His eight-year-old little girl is on a school trip for a week, and Gale has absolutely no idea what to do with himself, alone in the house. He’s just moping around the entire time until his work friend, Curt, invites him to go out for a drink with him and his friends.

One of those friends happens to be chronic bachelor Bucky, who's instantly attracted to Gale and can sense the playful core behind his reserved and vaguely lethargic vibe. He hits on Gale quite blatantly.

Gale is surprised that someone's trying to flirt with him, but he enjoys the banter with Bucky, and stays at the bar with him even after everyone else leaves.

Eventually, feeling a little wild, Gale ends up going home with Bucky. He’s completely unprepared and has never even had gay sex before, but Bucky offers to bottom and they have a mindblowing night together.

Gale didn’t realize how much he missed this kind of intimacy, and he’s embarrassed by how needy he gets during the night, but Bucky doesn’t mind at all, he loves being wanted and likes seeing the relief on Gale’s face whenever he reassures and comforts him.

They fall asleep cuddling, and when Gale wakes up in the morning, it feels like he has had the first good night of sleep in years. But then... he looks at the time on his phone and realizes that he and Bucky slept in too late, and he’s now late to pick up his daughter.

In a hurry, he rushes to get dressed and he leaves Bucky after a quick kiss, a vague explanation and an apology. It’s only on his way to the school that he realizes he completely forgot to exchange numbers with the hot man he has just had a one-night stand with.

He curses himself, but he also feels guilty about being late to pick up his daughter, and he gets flooded with self-doubt and pessimistic thoughts about how dating, especially dating someone like Bucky, wouldn’t work for him. So, he doesn’t attempt to contact Bucky through Curt or by looking him up online. He files the experience away as a nice memory and tries to move on.

He fully expects Bucky to do the same, since he doesn’t think Bucky would have any reason to want more than that one night, but he’s very wrong. Because less than a week later, just when he has almost convinced himself he’s okay with his single parent life, Curt drops by his desk at work and shows him a string of texts from Bucky pleading for Gale's phone number. Blushing, Gale gives Curt permission to share it.

Less than five minutes later, his phone buzzes - it's a text from Bucky. Gale doesn’t stay single for long after that. 😊

[wooyoong]

🌼 freya's recent svt reads (& recs)

disclaimer : these are my RECENT reads, and i haven't added some of my old reads! also i have tried to add atleast one for each member to the list hehe (except jihoon he has two)

note : fic titles labelled with a * mark are series. minors please stay away, strictly. almost all fics here are 18+ !!

— also, i am @angelwoozi 😭 incase you wanted to check out my writing blog then.

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

* yours, but not yours by @gyukult (fake dating au, 18+)

when a nice guy gets too overbearing, you’re stuck with the option of having a fake boyfriend.

YOON JEONGHAN

Jeonghan's Guide to Insurance Fraud (And Falling In Love) by @starsstuddedsky (f2l, fake dating au)

your best friend offers a way for you to get your wisdom teeth removed without going into debt. the only catch? you can’t fall in love

HONG JISOO

Plush by @bitchlessdino (est relationship, 18+)

soft joshua cockwarming drabble, with love and yearning.

WEN JUNHUI

Love, Actually by @haet-sal (single dad, boss jun, kind of infidelity au, 18+)

You’re the wide-eyed, clueless-but-on-top secretary to Wen Junhui, and it all starts, with one new year’s kiss… well, new year’s fuck.

Mr. Wen likes you. It should have been obvious, whenever he seemed to forgive your inadequate work ethics and frequent unfailing mishaps, and how much he trusted you, no matter how many mistakes you made, how much he hated hearing about your life with your boyfriend… and what kind of boss goes shopping for their employee, privately, anyway?

KWON SOONYOUNG

i don't understand but i love you by @hvcmixtape (est relationship)

soonyoung has only been the kindest and most gentle husband. sometimes you feel like you're floating on the stars, and sometimes you feel like you've just jumped into the most romantic book.

JEON WONWOO

rich girl by @blushnote (rich girl x street punk wonwoo, 18+)

wonwoo likes to call you a rich girl, and you hate it because it’s true. in fact, you hate a lot of things: your friends, your parent’s attitude, the way your life is supposed to be perfect even though you’re miserable. not much makes you happy, except for a punk boy who you can’t even be with.

LEE JIHOON

You Make Me Breathe by @hwanghyunjinenthusiast (hanahaki au)

Jihoon is utterly in love with you. Too bad you're into his friend Soonyoung, and he's too much of a coward to ever tell you how he feels. He's happy to take his feelings to the grave but soon finds that his body doesn't agree with his decision.

* As a Matter of Fact by @starsstuddedsky (co-workers to lovers, fake dating au)

when you're caught in a simple lie, the best solution? dig in your heels and stick to your guns until everything inevitably goes wrong and everyone gets hurt

LEE SEOKMIN

(Not) A Gentleman by @wonusite (est relationship, 18+)

Your boyfriend is the sweetest man alive—a perfect gentleman. However, you’re determined to show him that he doesn’t always have to be a gentleman.

KIM MINGYU

Good Dad, Better Daddy by @bitchlessdino (dilf au, bestfriend's dad mingyu, 18+)

you were hesitant when your friend said you should just stay at her house for the summer, especially knowing you can barely contain yourself with her hot dad around as well as the thought of not getting caught.

XU MINGHAO

at dawn by @sluttyminghao (domestic au, est relationship, 18+)

domestic sex with boyfriend minghao!

BOO SEUNGKWAN

pussy sport by @duhnova (fwb au, 18+)

leave it up to boo seungkwan to almost suffocate between your thighs, eat you out till you’re crying, and to figure out a new kink of his.

CHWE HANSOL

You Get Me So High by @cheolhub (f2l, 18+)

smoking with your best friend (who you totally don’t have a crush on) is super fun till all you can think about is him… well, doing him, to be more specific.

LEE CHAN

promise ring by @lovelyhan (royalty au, f2l, 18+)

no one would've guessed that the daughter of the town’s royal mage has a soft spot for the clumsiest fire elemental in the entire realm. but when the crown prince suddenly asks for your hand in marriage, you're forced to consider how you feel about a certain lee jung chan a lot more seriously.

🌼 show love to all the authors, and don't misuse their content. all rights reserved by the respective authors!

[ilikereadingthisiswhatilike]

Joel Miller 

A collection of Joel x reader stories. None of the stories are mine.

No Smut 

Brain Scramblies @strang3lov3 Summary: Bubbly and sweet Reader slips and falls at Tommy and Maria’s anniversary party, hitting her head hard on the floor. Tommy tasks Joel, her grumpy patrol partner, with getting her home safe. In her dazed state, she spills to Joel how she really feels about him! Basically two idiots dancing around their feelings for each other. Warnings: Alcohol Special Tags: Fluff

You Don't Belong @toxic-seduction Summary: You really like Joel, more than you’ve ever liked someone before. But the most important person in his life absolutely hates your guts and you have no idea what to do. Warnings: Angst, Fighting, Lanugage Special Tags: Fluff

Old Soul @softlyspector Summary:  You’re never quite sure of your place in Joel’s life. Everyone else seems to know exactly what it is. Warnings: Angst, Mental health, PTSD Special Tags: Fluff

Seams @fuckyeahdindjarin Summary: Joel has to visit the local seamstress. Warnings: Language, Sexual Tension Special Tags: Multichapter

Your My Sunshine! @littlelou22 Summary: You and Joel are polar opposites. you are sunshine while he is cloudy. but you’re his sunshine and he doesn’t quite know how to handle that. Warnings: Angst Special Tags: Fluff

Pretend @littlelou22 Summary: Joel ends things with you, leaving you in the dark as to why. Will the two of you get back together or stay apart? Warnings: Angst Special Tags: Fluff

Lovers and Love. @peterparkersnose Summary: Y/N tries to hide that she is pregnant and Joel finds out. Warnings: Angst, Pregnancy Special Tags: Fluff

Your Gentle Comfort @mentallyunstablegoldfish Summary: Your interest in boys didn’t really exist in your life. It wasn’t until you met your new teacher and had a relationship growing with him that you realized, you wanted a man. Warnings: Emotional neglect, Kidnaping, Sexual Tenson Special Tags: Teacher AU, Multichapter

Smut

Hostage @ATTICRISSFINCH Summary: When you get lost in the woods, a stranger offers to help you get back to your camping site. When your gut tells you to run, you run–until he catches you. Warnings: Rape, Kidnaping, Angst, Weponds, Blood, Violnace, Degradation Special Tags: Serial Killer AU

Bail @Toxicanonymity Summary: Joel gets a call from Tommy in the middle of the night. When he gets home all he wants to do is spend time with the reader. Warnings: None Special Tags: Free Use

Talk Me Down @hellishjoel Summary: You’re finally ready to sit down and discuss your obvious daddy issues. Your therapist, Joel, has his methods. Warnings: Mental Health Special Tags: Age Gap, Therapist Au

Carnal   @pascalsbby Summary: You thought you had it all figured out before him. Animals. Tender, primal flesh. That’s what we are at the end of the day, no? Fucking, testing one another and then eating each other alive, heart first. Maybe the heart is the sweetest part of the body- or maybe it’s just the easiest to get to. You knew you wanted to be completely devoured by him. You wanted to fill the space between his teeth. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent, Voyeurism, Stalking Special Tags: Dark, Age Gap

Choke On It @djarin-dreams Summary: They’re both members of the Jackson community, often put on patrols together. Reader has a penchant for destruction and rage, especially in the face of self-preservation. Sometimes, they just want to be able to let go. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent, Violence, Degradation Special Tags: Dark, BDSM

The Special One @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel like the taste of your blood. Warning: Blood, Kidnaping Special Tags: Vampire AU

Hot Single Dilfs In Your Area Want To Chat! @walkintotheriveranddisappear Summary: Hot single dilfs in your area want to chat, and you're more than willing to comply. Warning: Language, Voyeurism, Age Gap Special Tags: Multichapter, Dirty

Sleep Bliss @creedslove Summary: You and Joel used to share a sleeping bag when you were on the road. Once you got to Jackson, he made sure to put an end to this habit, but now his nightmares are back to haunt him again and he needs your help Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Masturbation

Burn For Me @psychedelic-ink Summary: Joel looks after you, provides for you, fucks you until the sun comes up; his only ask is that you never leave his apartment, not willing to face another loss. One day when you find the door unlocked, you decide to take stroll, promising yourself that you’ll be back before he returns home. Warnings:  Dubious Consent, Special Tags: Stockholm Syndrome

Pay Girl @the-comorbidity Summary: Sex was a commodity in the QZ, and Joel Miller would do (and pay) damn near anything to have you Warnings: Prostitution, Language Special Tags: None

Kept Woman @slow-motionlovepotion Summary:  Pleasure has a price and Joel is willing to pay whatever it takes to have you Warnings: Language Special Tags: Possessive, Multichapter

Winter Coat @dev1lm4n Summary:  You gave a blowjob to trade for a winter coat back in the dark days, little do you know, that same guy is now your neighbor. Warnings: Language, Prostitution Special Tags: Multichapter

Prostar @dev1lm4n Summary: There's one thing you've been obsessed with and it comes in the form of a man trapped inside your 13-inch laptop. who would've guessed that wicked fantasies would be a part of your host family and a teacher to all your risky endeavors? Warnings: Language, Special Tags: Multichapter, Pornstar AU, Age Gap, Dirty

Fatherless @weirdfangirl Summary: You offer yourself to a complete stranger in order to survive. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent Special Tags: Age Gap, Possessive, BDSM

Virgin Patrol @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel just wants you. Warnings: Language, Dubious Consent Special Tags: Age Gap, Virgin Reader

Snack Brake @joelscruff Summary:  You’re just can't keep quite. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel

My Boyfriends Dad @jksprincess10 Summary:  When you meet your boyfriend at his family house, you find out he’s at a party and cheating on you. Your boyfriend’s dad offers to take care of you and show you what a real man is like. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel, Dirty

Quicky @joelscruff Summary: Joel is your boyfriend’s dad and you’re fucking him in secret. that’s it. reader is of legal age. Warnings: Language, Cheating Special Tags: Age Gap, Praise Kink, Dad Joel

Jealous @eufezco Summary: You're a little jealous of Tess. Warnings: Angst Special Tags: None

Daddy Issues @alien-magnolia Summary: Reader has new Daddy Warnings: None Special Tags: Daddy Kink, Hyperfem, Dom/Sub, Dirty

What you’re missing @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel use reader in her sleep. Warnings: Rape Special Tags: Somnophlia, Dark

Making Diner @toxicanonymity Summary: Joel uses reader while she cooks. Warnings: None Special Tags: Free Use

House Arrest @shadeysprings Summary: Your mom goes to attend a work conference for a couple of days, leaving you home alone with her husband. Warnings: Rape Special Tags: Step-Incest

Pillow Princess @ninebluehearts Summary: Reader is a Pillow Princess Warnings: None Special Tags: Hyperfem, Dom/Sub, Dirty

i wanna be your lover @shellshocklove  Paring: Joel Miller X Reader Summary: Miserable after losing your job, your friend drags you out to a club to dance away your sadness. on the dancefloor you meet a handsome stranger, who then whisks you away into his fantasy world as his assistant for his porn career. what happens when the lines get blurred? Warning: None Special Tag: Dirty, Porn Star AU

give in @cupofjoel Summary: Joel shows you how to love yourself the way you deserve. Warnings: None Special Tag: Soft

Red Light @kiwisbell Summary: The men you keep bringing home are no good for you. It's up to your landlord Joel to protect you from heartbreak.  Warnings: Murder Special Tag: Landlord AU

Truth or Dare @joelscruff Summary: harmless game of truth or dare ends with you tied up in a certain mysterious neighbor's garage. Warnings: Age gap Specials Tags: Bondage, Dirty

Crave @allfoolsinluv Summary: You've been babysitting for Joel and Tess for quite some time now. It's a good gig to have while you're working towards your degree. You like them a bit more than you probably should. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Muilty chapter.

Copycat Killer @beskarandblasters Summary: Joel is a famous singer and Copycat Killer is an obsessed fan. She’s willing to do anything and go anywhere to learn more about Joel. Warnings: Drinking, Drugs, Dub con, Specials Tags: Rock star Au, Stalker Au

Ft. Tess Servopoulos (No Smut)

Gone Soft @blathannabeaga Summary: They are soft only for you. Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Poly

Misunderstanding @pettyprocrastination Summary: You misunderstood Tess and Joel relationship Warnings: None Special Tags: Fluff, Poly

My ex boyfriend’s parents @jksprincess10  Summary: After discovering Chad was cheating on you, Joel offered you to  show you what a real man felt like. Now, his wife was taking part of it as well. Warnings: Mentions of Cheating Special Tag: Poly

Smut

Strangle Love @ozarkthedog Summary:  Joel & Tess find you beaten and bloody on the streets in the q zone. they bring you to their place to nurse you back to health but when you try to leave they aren’t so quick to let you go. Warnings: Rape, Abuse, Violence, Drug Use Special Tags: Poly, Dark

Mare Nostrum Mediterranean Grill @punkassfrance Summary: Your first job would have been stressful enough if you didn't have to deal with mind games from Joel and Tess. But god, you couldn't bring yourself to complain. Warnings: None Specials Tags: Poly, Voyeurism

Ft. Tommy Miller (Smut)

Sharing is Caring @inlovewithquestionablecharacters Summary: The brothers decide to share you. Warnings: Possible Incest, Dirty Special Tags: Poly,

Close Your Eyes, Pay the Price for Your Paradise @ozarkthedog Summary: Hitchhikingis especially dangerous during the outbreak. Warnings: Rape, Abuse, Violence, Kidnaping Special Tags: Poly, Dark, Multichapter

[pekejscatbed]

Make me Bleed | Slade Wilson x gn! Reader

i want to fuck this old man. i would let this old man do vile things to me. he is a dilf, he is daddy, he is at least three times my age. i need him. i need him carnally. i need him in ways you cannot comprehend. (i have daddy issues)

info/warnings:

gender neutral reader, knife play, blood, marking/branding, dacryphilia, size difference, mirrors, dubious consent, no actual sex, stabbing as a metaphor for sex, possessive Slade

batman masterlist

———

You go limp as Slade drags the knife down your throat, your chest, your stomach- stopping abruptly above your sex, the dull, shiny tip just barely making contact with your skin, a breathy gasp escaping your lips as the cold metal makes your body shiver.

Tears flood your eyes as the weapon is turned around, now trailing up your stomach, only to pause at the middle of your chest; Slade taps the blade against your prickling flesh, once, twice, thrice- then pushes the jagged edge ever so slightly in.

You gasp as you feel the blade prick your skin, not yet deep enough to draw blood but still enough to break a single layer of skin.

Tears silently fall down your face as Slade suddenly pushes the blade down further, enough to make droplets of blood appear on your flesh, and then he's moving the knife once more, this time letting it cut through your skin as he marks you, branding your chest with a jagged, bloody S.

"Look, sweetheart," Slade's hand is big enough to cover the whole lower portion of your face, but he's careful to only touch your chin, gripping it between his fingers and forcing your head up, forcing you to look at the mirrored ceiling above you, "now everyone will know who you belong to."

You stare at your reflection with red, teary eyes and smile at the carefully carved initial on your skin, "I belong to you."

Slade finds your eyes in the mirror's reflection and grins.

[daisybianca]

pairing: toto wolff x femalereader

summary: toto teases you in his luxury, Mercedes car. and you both love every single minute of it.

warnings: language, sexual thoughts, teasing

(a/n): something spicy because toto wolff is the OG dilfiest dilf and we adore him for that. happy birthday, my man💋

"ARE YOU GOING to get your ass into the fucking car, or am I going to have to drag you here myself?”

Toto's broad chest rose and sank slowly.

He glared at you with a sheen layer of ice glossy on his big brown eyes, and the muscles of his jaw stood rigid.

Always the brat, you nibbled your bottom lip, shoulders slumped with defeat as he granted you that crooked eyebrow that shot out a clear warning:

"Don’t test me, doll."

Oh, that nickname.

When his mouth formed that word, shivers were sent straight to your core.

You couldn't help it.

Your boyfriend had his own, very efficient techniques, which he used in order to make you blush like a 15-year-old schoolgirl who just had her very first kiss.

Your wobbly legs began while making their way toward the truck, your mouth now pursed into an apologetic pout.

But these familiar theatrics failed to impress, and once you were close enough, his large hand snapped at your neck and with nothing but a short scuffle, he pressed your back against the cold metal of the vehicle.

Caged between the car and Toto's massive body and weight, your thighs quaked, the little slit between your legs hungering to be invaded by him.

Your boyfriend's shadow darkened your face, offering you a malicious sneer. He snaked his free hand between your thighs and carefully parted them open.

You heart began to pound as his smile appeared.

You stood there, feeling a desire run from your heart, to your chest, and down toward your inner thighs.

His finger touched youe neck, and the hair as it was moved away nearly gave you the chills. His hands went from the sides of your head and down to your neck, out to youe shoulders and down to your hands. He grabbed your hands gently yet firm, put them in front of you and paused.

Yoy felt safe, he spoke no words.

You4 heart was about to beat out of your chest and yoy closed my eyes and took a deep breath out.

Toto kissed your shoulder and ran his lips on your skin towards your ear, but didn't quite make it that far. You tilted your head and after his deep breath out he bites you gently.

It didn't hurt, it only made you want more.

Your boyfriend stared into your eyes, his brown-eyes soul piercing and trying to desperately read your hidden and unspoken thoughts.

He smiled. As if he could actually read them.

His two hands grabbed your left hand and he placed my open palm on his heart, and he held it there.

His eyes exuded love, lust, protection, safety, and last but not leaste, possession.

“Now…” He drawled and licked his lips briefly, “...am I going to have to fuck some discipline into you right in front of everyone or are you going to be a good girl for daddy?”

●○•°•○●

requests are always open for my wags <3

[hamletphase]

splatoon tumblr dashboard simulator part 2

🌊 officialdeepcut ✅

Huge thanks to everyone who helped out in the latest Big Run! You'll be glad to hear that Deep Cut has lived to see another Splatfest. Enjoy your participation trophies ;)

🦈 sharkbait420

oh yall didn't like this one huh

#L + ratio + hope you guys like the color green

( 3,753 notes )

🌤️ sunnysides

picked up the drumsticks today. both band members shook their heads at me. this studio is a coddamn nightmare.

🎸 therocktoling

you literally broke my crash symbol last time

#bro acting like he's innocent....dont be fooled

( 6 notes )

🐡 better-agent-3

“dj octavio is a war criminal” “dj octavio is a squidnapper” you guys don’t know him like i do. he’s my best friend.

🐡 better-agent-3

live with yourself knowing that you yelled at me for befriending a retired old man.

🐡 better-agent-3

POST BREACHED CONTAINMENT. ALL OF YOU ARE GETTING BLOCKED. OUR FRIENDSHIP IS REAL AND YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

( 81 notes )

#also can small fry get rabies btw? asking for a friend

💘 bait-n-switch

you ask, we deliver: our debut album, SHALLOW WATERS, drops TOMORROW at noon!

#bonus message from dolly bc i'm the one posting this #thanks for all the pre saves and stuff! #loving the hype #also each of us are on a different splatfest this year (me on keys + tay on drums + sunny on guitar) so key your eyes peeled for us :)

( 764 notes )

☹️ agent8

THEY PUT ME BACK IN THE BUILDING AGAIN BYUT I GOT OUT. YOU CANT KEEP ME IN THERE

e

🍊f-o-u-r

dude are you good???

( 3 notes )

🍉 hotlantisemployee69

high as hell at work and i swear to cod we just got a shipment of functional rainmakers. i cant make this shit up anymore.

( 420 notes )

#tetraposting #btw we got the I ❤️ DILFS stickers back in so eat your heart out

🤭 theeeldeal

my girlfriend is a boygirl i'm their girl boyfriend. hope that helps xoxo

( 389 notes )

👑 mcprincess

is it just me or are the squid sisters actually cousins

💚 notmariecuttlefish✅

how many times are you going to try to start this same "drama"

( 14,867 notes )

🪆 carbonara-roller

when you're being mean to me this is who you're being mean to btw

#dolly.txt #found this image on the deep web. really resonated with it.

( 17 notes )

🎧 djhyperfresh✅

SO excited to announce Off the Hook's new single, We're So Back! Tour was awesome, but it's soooo nice to be back Inkopolis. See you at the Splatfest! <3

#off the hook #splatfest #we're so back

( 35,131 notes )

[balljointedpup]

Daisy's are frequently associated with purity, childbirth, new beginnings, and cheerfulness. Daisy petals symbolize innocence and are commonly associated with childhood memories of collecting wildflower bouquets.

Pairing: Marcus Perez (oc) x AFAB! reader

(general) Warning: age gap (he's 50, reader is in mid/late twenties), virgin reader, inexperienced reader, daddy issues™, marcus is a dilf, daddy kink, angst, lots of food/baking, size difference, reader is not overly described but is implied to be skinny & small breasted, able bodied reader, hair length is not defined but will be mentioned, reader is feminine and AFAB but gender is undefined, Marcus drinks and smokes, eventual smut, slow burn-ish, series fic

Authors note: as always do not trust old men who wanna get in your pants! Keep sex safe and always consensual. This is purely fictional and just an expression of sexual fantasy. This chapter is just the beginning so it'll just be establishing the setting and what's going on.

I hope y'all enjoy! Idk when I'll be posting updates as this kinda me trying to grit through writer's block so I'm sorry if chapters are not consistent! Kinda just shouting into the void with this if I'm being honest 🙈 comments, reblogs and likes will always be appreciated!

Moodboard |Part 1 |

For years, Marcus lived in an empty nest, a single man trapped in an unchanging routine. Marcus quits his small-town life and heads to the city, but it's certainly no glamorous ride. Movies painted an enticing picture of freedom—packing up one's life and leaving behind the shackles of monotony, as if shaking off cobwebs layered over dusty memories. Yet, for Marcus, the reality felt more like swallowing cotton balls, each memory sheathed in layers of bubble wrap and tape, heavy boxes straining his weary back as he huffed and grunted. His work buddies rallied around him, lending their arms to help load the cramped pickup truck, but the weight of the moment lingered in his chest.

Though everyone urged him to seize this fresh start, he couldn't abandon that itch to remain in his cycle. He was set in his ways, hesitant to dip his boot-clad feet into new waters, yearning for a life with a touch of difference without completely overhauling the comfort of his past. A constant contradiction of wanting more but unable to muster the greed to take it with unyielding hands. After much contemplation, he settled into a modest apartment above a bakery, cheesily named "Whisk Me Away." Nestled not too far from the city's sprawling park, a purposeful spot he sought out. Marcneededing to venture beyond the habit of staying indoors—something he had lately become all too familiar with. Tucking himself in his solitude, waiting at the phone or rotting his mind with uninteresting TV. Exhausted from work and devoid of friends outside his occasional drink, he dreaded the thought of spending yet another night in the stench of stale beer and listening to another pointless argument or the screams of grown adults outraged by the favorite team losing.

Despite the insistence of his friends that this was his chance to step into retirement, he found it laughable. He never planned to retire. He couldn't. What would he do with himself? After a week of steady toil with boxes, however, he marched into a part-time handyman role for the bakery’s owner. They struck up a friendship, the connection based on the similarities of two middle-aged men sharing dry laughter and nostril-stuffed grunts about sports games that Marcus had little interest in. Or a comment here and there about the youth of today.

Yet, amidst the bustling streets and the chaos of the city, what truly captured his attention wasn’t the sprawling skyline or the rigorous life around him; it was something sweeter, far more delicate. As if biting into a tender sponge of a cupcake. Icing much too sweet for his aged pallet but the rush reminded him of his youth. How he ached to drag his tongue along the creamy sugar that coated this pretty treat. Curling his tongue until he lapped every last bit and got to the true flavor beneath. Untainted and heavenly.

A temptation that should have never crossed his mind at his age. He often scoffed at the very idea of a fling with someone so much younger, dismissing the notion with fierce disapproval. His friends had joked about having a young, pretty thing latched to their hip, and Marcus had rolled his eyes. Perhaps given a pal or two a smack around the head. He considered himself wiser than that—better than that. Or so he thought.

The change within him began quietly. Invading defenses the day he settled into his new life. The difference between him and his little truck and city-slinging people. It lacked the polish of the sleek vehicles roaming the city. The contrast between his humble truck and the flashing, modern cars of the city just screamed ‘fresh meat’ to the scowling, slimmer city living was looking for a bakery with a big fancy bay window - or Italia, Nate as his buddy said. Whatever the fuck that meant wasn'tsn't like he had to Google what it was, s and it wasn't like he was drifting along the busy road, phone propped up on the dashboard, threatening to fall over if he didn't grumble and keep it still, peering between the image and the buildings around him.

He parked awkwardly, the truck’s tire nudging the curb more than he would have liked, but he'd been edging back, and forth, forth trying to spot any space to park, and this was the only one that seemed to work. Cars blaring their raging horns at him. Taking a moment, he stared at the building, suddenly aware of the labor that lay ahead: unloading his entire life into a narrow s; this time, there was no team of buddies at his side.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he pressed his forehead against his palm, feeling the weight of fatigue and apprehension tug at him as if the city itself conspired against him. He glanced at his watch—still an hour until the moving crew arrived—and silently cursed. Always early to everything. That's how his parents raised him to be. But now and again it bit him in the ass just like now. His truck couldn’t possibly contain everything he owned, but he had clung onto those precious few keepsakes he couldn't bear to part with. The sheer price of it all ate into what spare funds he had on the side, meaning he'd be behind a while on groceries and emergency money. The tho ht hung in his mind like a fleeting shadow, provoking a frustrated click of his tongue.

Finally mustering the resolve to abandon the vehicle, Marcus trudged around to the back of his truck, retrieving a few boxes one by one, only to falter when he searched for an alternative entrance—be it a back or side door—anything but the front. But there was none in sight, and he didn't trust leaving his truck unattended in a new place. He's heard all the stories of what kind of hooligans we're skulking around in cities like these. With a resigned grunt, he slammed the truck door shut, trudged towards the bakery, and pushed open the front door, the chime announcing his arrival. Another curse leaving him.

He saw photos of the bakery and its interior but entering the space was a whole experience on its own. Greeted by a large square dining space with tables rowed at the walls most having four wooden chairs snuggly tucked in. All the chairs have a cushion on the seat with ruffles framing them. The tables were light wood and circular with a doily cover draped over it. Two menus in small stands on either side of each one. In the middle were small glass vases filled with daisies and baby's breath, pale yellow ribbons tied into bows at the neck of each vase. The floor creaked, covered In wooden panels. However, it was fake as it didn't have the same squeak he's used to hearing. At the windows there were white lace curtains and shutter blinds rolled and tucked out of view to let the sunlight pour in and soak the building in its natural warmth.

The rays of light bounced against the hanging ceiling lights; each one glass with various flowers engraved on a petal-like base. A turned-off bulb perched in the middle. At the edge of the dining space was a curved counter with a cash register, and a glass display case filled with various baked goods such as pastries, bread, and cakes, though it seemed to be half empty still. Behind the counter, there are shelves stocked with more baked items and different types of porcelain plates with flowers printed on them. A door sealed shut between the many cupboards and shelves.

To his relief, the bakery was empty—until a man appeared from behind the counter, wiping his hands on a faded, threadbare rag, surprise flickering across his face, soon giving way to a light-hearted chuckle. With a playful shake of his head, he approached Marcus.

“Let me help you with that! I didn’t expect to see anyone for a while,” he said, his voice laden with an unexpected warmth.

Marcus raised an eyebrow, skepticism lacing his voice as he shifted his grip on the precariously balanced boxes. “You’re the owner, right?” He knew he shouldn't be so stereotypical, but the man before him didn't seem like the type to enjoy a much…dainty interior.

“Yeah, that’s right. I’m Randal,” he replied as he took a step closer. “And you must be the new neighbor. If you had texted ahead, I could have given you better directions.”

That just made Marcus grunt. Shrugging one of his shoulders. Randal effortlessly plucked one of the heavy boxes from Marcus's arms, letting out a small grunt as he did, a look of approval crossing his features as he assessed Marcus's strong arms. A flicker of respect for a man able to keep his strength up.

“There’s an alley behind the building. If you don’t mind, I can drive around back and help you out. It’ll save you from getting honked at all day,” Randal suggested, his eyes twinkling with knowing. He's been listening to the chorus of honks since the other man's arrival.

With another sigh, Marcus hesitated but nodded. He tightened his grip on the boxes. “That would be helpful. My keys are right here,” he replied, albeit with a lingering twinge of wariness. Yet, considering Randal’s age there was a certain level of reliability. He was put in some faith another man his age would be true to his word, especially considering he'd be living above his business. With a slight pop of his hip, he revealed the keys dangling from his belt loop, which Randal deftly took after putting the box he had taken onto a nearby table.

“Oi! Honey, mind being helpful? The neighbor’s here!” Randal hollered out suddenly, narrowing his eyes as he peered expectantly at the back door, as if willing it to swing open.

A moment of stillness hung in the air, broken only by a muffled voice drifting through the closed door. At last, it swung open with a loud creak, held wide by a stout stopper. You stepped into view, cradling a tray overflowing with an array of delectable treats, the faint scent of fresh-baked pastries wafting through the air. A displeased huff escaped your lips as you expertly slid the tray into the display case at the cashier, a light dusting of flour still lingering on your fingertips.

As you looked up, your eyes finally met those of your new neighbor. A radiant smile broke across your soft features as you hurried around the desk, eager to assist him with the heavy box he was struggling with.

“Grab the one on the table,” your father commanded from behind you, his voice firm, almost dismissive he retreated further into the back.

Your arms fell, swerving around to grab the box, and let out a noise of surprise at the heavyweight. Another huff escaped you. Of course. You looked back at Marcus, and the smile returned to your features. “Let's get these up.” adjusting the box in your grasp as you began to walk to the corner of the bakery where a staircase was tucked away. You already began trudging up as the matching wooden steps became less cared for and rustic compared to the dreamy softness of the bakery.

Marcus followed behind you, his heavy footsteps echoing through the bakery as he lugged the boxes. He couldn't help but notice the way your hips swayed as you climbed the stairs. He didn't mean to stare at your ass but it was right in front of him. Nicely rounded and snug in pale blue jeans. Or at least, that was his excuse until he pried his eyes away to watch his step. Though with the two boxes clutched to his chest, it wasn't the easiest task.

"I really wish they had an elevator." You joked, hoping to clear the stiff silence between you two.

"Yeah, I bet. It would definitely make this a lot easier," he replied, his voice gruff but tinged with amusement. He shifted the box in his arms, feeling its weight pressing against his chest. After a few steps, he spoke again, glancing back toward the dim light of the building that faded into the shadows of the staircase walls.

"So, your pops owns this place?"

"Yeah," you said, your voice trailing off slightly as you nodded. "He handles the numbers and works the cash register, but the bakery is meant to be mine. It just helps to have him manage the stuff I'm not so good at." You shrugged your shoulder as you forced yourself up a few more steps with a large stretch of your leg. The box was already making your arms ache, but that could also be due to hours of mixing and the grocery crates you had hauled in that morning.

"Ah, right. Makes sense with all the—" He cut himself off and cleared his throat. "He just doesn’t seem the type," Marcus muttered hastily as he tried to maintain the good manners that had been drilled into him since he learned to talk.

Following your lead, he hurried up a bit, knowing he still had plenty more boxes to carry. These stairs were going to be well acquainted.

He couldn't help but feel a twist at the bottom of his belly. He worked as a maintenance technician before coming here. I always get calls and texts for even the smallest of issues, like a slow coffee machine. Not exactly a business his Eliana was ever interested in. God knows she wasn't even interested in staying in town once college hit.

“good that you two can do something like that together.” he tried to put a smile in his voice but each word was like a bitter tar coating his tongue.

"yeah!" You agreed but there was a strain to your voice. Finally reaching the top, there was a narrow hallway with two doors on either side and another staircase leading to the people just above. You put the box down outside his door, which was on the right. You patted around your pockets and let out a surprised noise as you felt the bulk of keys in your front one.

"Dad gave me the keys to hold onto, wasn't sure if I still had them." You breathed out, pulling them out and unlocked the front door to his apartment. A singular small window illuminated the hall.

"Thanks, kid," he muttered, stepping into the apartment. The space was small, but it was clean and well-maintained. Though he could tell it was recently gutted of most of what furniture was in it from the streaks on the floor here and there. The walls were a soft beige, and the floors were covered in a worn but comfortable-looking carpet. A small kitchenette was tucked into the corner, and a narrow hallway led to what he assumed was the bedroom and bathroom.

He set the boxes down on the floor, stretching his arms above his head. His muscles ached from the exertion, but he welcomed the pain. It was a reminder that he was still alive, still capable of hard work. He didn't like to laze about for too long. Just the drive to the city made him itch to just do something. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to smooth down the unruly strands that had come loose during the move. His heart was racing in his chest, and he couldn't quite figure out why. Maybe it was just the exertion from carrying the heavy boxes up the stairs, or maybe it was something else entirely. The daunting loom of this was it. He was really starting fresh.

You handed him the keys, a bit surprised by the rough scrape of his palm against your fingers. The hands of heavy labor were worn and built with a protective shield. You quickly retreated your hand back to your side, mouth opening to say something but then a call from downstairs echoed through.

"Hon! You up there still? C'mon! Am I doing all this lifting myself?" Your dad yelled with the sound of something heavy being smacked into.

"Shit- you get yourself sorted, we'll help you with the boxes." You were already making your way out of the apartment, switching between turning to him and the staircase. Another call from your dad made you spin back around and trot down the stairs with thunderous steps. "Yeah I'm coming-!"

Marcus watched as you hurried down the stairs, your footsteps fading away as you disappeared from view. He let out a heavy sigh, running a hand over his face. He couldn't help but feel a twinge of disappointment at your abrupt departure. Your presence would have been a nice distraction to the acid threatening to burn at his throat. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. But he just shook his head. He was being ridiculous. Empty nest syndrome or whatever they called it, that's all. Just wanting to cling to anything familiar. Anything that reminded him of who he once was.

He marched down the stairs not long after you. "My boxes, your handling, can't have you doing all the work." He called back and heard a chuckle from your father. A mutter of ‘I like this one' just caught in his ear as he marched down the steps.

And that was his day; at some point, he had to take over completely as the bakery opened u,p, and both of you had to turn your attention back to your business. The moving guys arrived 30 minutes late and well, they made up for it by their speedy rush and getting his furniture set up. And then, he was alone one more. He turned back to the boxes, unpacking them methodically. He had a system, one that he had perfected over the years. First, he would unpack the essentials - toiletries, a change of clothes, his coffee maker. Then he would move on to the more sentimental items - photos, mementos, his wife's old perfume bottle. Lastly, he would tackle the miscellaneous items - books, tools, knick-knacks. It was a process that he found comforting and familiar. It grounded him and reminded him of who he was and where he came from.

Everything was new, unfamiliar. Even the smell of the apartment was different - instead of the comforting scent of his over-burnt wood and spice candles, there was a faint whiff of vanilla and cinnamon, a remnant of the bakery below. It was disorienting, unsettling. He felt like a stranger in his own skin.

He paused, leaning against the wall as he caught his breath. His heart was pounding, his palms sweaty. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. He had done this for a reason, he reminded himself. He needed a change, a fresh start. He couldn't keep living in the past, couldn't keep clinging to memories that only brought him pain. He had to move on. He couldn't take staring at those empty seats at the dining room table.

He looked at the inner pocket of his jacket and sighed. Unable to bring himself to have the energy to attempt to scold himself. The nasty habit he was unable to kick. Lighting up the cigarette with practiced ease and placing the stick between his lips. Inhaling slowly as he slumped against the wall. What a fucking day.

[shelaghdette]

ctm s13e06 thoughts (spoilery, sweary, sleep deprived, scottish)

actual pisstake. frothing at the mouth. rabid. feral. unhinged. not being normal.

first of all, the episode.

matthew aylward is an absolutely abhorrent fiend. every single time his face showed up on the screen, me & my pals on the discord server were POURING abuse into the chat. callin this man the worstest names in the world. truly the minginest bloke ive ever seen. imagine shouting at my best pal trixie franklin (who is your beautiful gorjiss wife) just because she tried to help solve a problem YOU created. DIAF matthew aylward.

AND NOW APPARENTLY NONNATUS HOUSE ISN'T SAFE FROM CLOSURE BECAUSE TRASHTHEWS STUPID ARSE IS LOSING ALL HIS MONEY?? TAKING THE PEE EYE DOUBLE ESS ON THAT ONE MATE. NOT HAPPY. THE YOUNG LASSIES (WHO ARE PROBABLY ABOUT THE SAME AGE AS ME) HAVE ONLY JUST GOT THEIR PERMANENT JOABS AND NOW NONNATUS COULD BE CLOSING??? LIFE RUINING

speaking of new faces, love aw the wee pupil midwives passing their exams!! so excited to see wee rosalind and wee joyce as permanent staff at nonnatus!!!

speaking of the pupils, THEY ARE TRYING TO SET UP A ROSALIND/CYRIL ROMANCE STORYLINE AND IM NOT HERE FOR IT. ROSALIND CLIFFORD IS QUITE OBVIOUSLY A BABYGAY AND SHES IN LOVE WITH JOYCE HIGHLAND. STOP MAKING PEOPLE STRAIGHT HEIDI. BE BRAVE AND BOLD AND CATER TO THE SAPPHICS HEIDI. WE HAVEN'T HAD CANON LESBOS SINCE PUPCAKE HEIDI. WE ARE STARVING AND MALNOURISHED HEIDI.

speaking of cyril tho, he's an absolute legend and was serving so much cunt this episode. 100% lad. love how nice he was to the poor irish wummin & her barins.

also doctor turner talking about his old arthritic knees like he doesn't know what a temptation that is for me as a recovering dilf addict. scrum diddly umptious. i had to go and have a lie down and a valium after that blatant and violent assault on my mental health.

speaking of scrum diddly umptious and the turners, costume designer putting shelagh turner in lesbian flag colours THE ENTIRE EPISODE and teasing all the gay lassies who have taste? cruel and unusual punishment. i fancy her so much. at least it was acknowledged how bonny she was in this one (and every one) (cheers sister v you queen)

speaking of the turners also, it's fabulous to see all of my stepchildren safe and well, especially my best and favourite wee lassie may <3 i know we're probably coming up for some pretty harrowing stories about her, so it was awfy gid to see thon wee smile for a moment.

finally: loved seeing sheelz in her element on the old johanna whacking oot the jesus bangers wi the local weans SING HOSANNA SING HOSANNA SING HOSANNA TO THE KING OF KINGS!! GIVE ME OIL IN MY LAMP KEEP IT BURNING 🔥 🕺🏼💃👯‍♂️

fuckall but slay.

not about this episode but my very final thought: WHAT THE ACTUAL SHITTING FUCK DO YOU MEAN WE'RE NOT GETTING CTM NEXT WEEK BECAUSE OF THE BAFTAS. WHO GIVES A RATS SMELLY ARSE ABOUT THE BRITISH ACADEMY FILM AND TELEVISION AWARDS. WHO EVEN WATCHES THEM. EVERYBODY LOVES CTM. LITERALLY EVERYONE IN THE WORLD. I DON'T KNOW ANYONE WHO EVEN KENS WHIT THE BAFTAS ARE AW ABOOT.

god bless my ctm luvvas. catch yis aw in a fortnight. big kissies to all (especially my wifey sheely turny)

[bunkoos-mole-enthusiast]

any dilf Jungkook fic recommendations??😭

Hi ya, it's not a genre I typically read, but I did enjoy these three... (If I come across more, I'll post them here)

Blue Spring: Jeon Jungkook, only well known as the youngest (and hottest) dad at the daycare, he’s got it all, the looks, the sweetheart personality, the body, but here’s what gets everyone- he doesn’t wear a wedding ring. The only problem lies in his fickle one year old daughter that hates just about every daycare worker out there…Well…besides you that is. Which of course leads to Jungkook liking you just as much as his daughter…if not maybe a little too much. https://adonis-koo.tumblr.com/post/619058074812088320/blue-spring

Gingerbread Man: Baker, widower, and single father Jungkook's life is changed forever by an unexpected large order. https://archiveofourown.org/works/21696316/chapters/51747916

The Art Of Wanting: You find a baby in your store and in turn, a dilf finds you. https://www.tumblr.com/venusiangguk/643372881526554624/pairing-jungkook-x-reader-dilfjk-x-grocery?source=embed

[jupiter-soups]

summer camp sadness

synopsis: when it’s Sarah's first time away from home for overnight summer camp, Joel is unprepared for the wave of emotions that overtake him.

tags:  fluff, single dad!joel, no outbreak!au, joel just generally needing consolation that sarah is still his baby girl

word count: 2.3k

a/n: this was written for the pedro pascal cinematic universe discord server fest!!!! please feel free to join in and write something too, or just join the server and have a good time as we talk about all of our favourite dilfs!! link: https://discord.gg/2SBkmdbp

anyways, this is just a cute little oneshot because i just know that Joel would be struggling with his little girl growing up. also this is set in like 2010-ish? they’re the same ages as the show, i just wanted to make a 2009 reference lol. enjoy!!!!!

“And you have Uncle Tommy’s number written down too?” He asks for easily the thirteenth time since they had begun the four hour journey to Camp Yaupon, while fussing with the zip on his daughter’s baby blue puffer jacket as she stands in front of him.

The curly-haired girl lets out a drawn out groan in response, shifting a few steps back to get out of his nervous grip, “Yes, dad, I have his number, I have your number, I have the neighbor’s number, please, can I just go? Before everyone else makes friends without me?” She’s practically bouncing where she stands from the nervous energy, beyond eager to head in and begin the next three weeks of soccer, crafts, and female friendship.

He loosens his grip on her jacket and nods solemnly, clearly running through a mental list of questions to find any reason to extend this goodbye. When he comes up empty, he grabs her and pulls her into a huge bear hug, practically lifting the girl from the ground in his embrace. 

“Dadddddddd,” She groans, trying to pull away with a sheepish, embarrassed expression, as if she was praying that the other girls didn’t see this moment of affection. He had explicitly promised that he would be cool when they got there. She should have known better when he began to tear up as her Hannah Montana: The Movie soundtrack CD began to play ‘Butterfly Fly Away,’. “I need to gooooooooo, it’s fineeeeeee” She drags out, awkwardly patting him on the back.

With her embarrassed tone, he finally pulls away with a small sniff, and rubs his hand across his face as if he was merely affected by hayfever from being parked out near the woods.

“Sorry, darlin’,” He chuckles awkwardly to play off his emotional outburst, “Of course it’ll be fine, just…you’ll be so far away, is all.” The girl’s eyes widen in panic as she spots the redness in his eyes and realises that it is very likely that he is about to start up again. She chooses to pat him on the arm a few times with a warning look, as if to say ‘get it together, old man.’ 

“Alright, alright. I get it. You have fun now, sweetie. Call me before bed, okay?” 

He watches as she scampers off before she pauses briefly, trying to decide which group of teen girls she should approach. He swallows dryly, trying to fight the pinching in his eyes as the sinking feeling that he was really about to be without her for three whole weeks began to swallow him up again. 

You stood a good dozen feet away from him with your own daughter, Ellie, who was rolling her eyes at you. “Come on, Els, if you don’t put it on I can’t let you go and get settled. It’s a four hour drive back, just let me go home already.” You insist, doing your best puppy dog eyes as you hold out the bottle of sunscreen at her.

“Fine,” She gives in, snatching the bottle with an overexaggerated glare that makes you giggle at her fake misery. She begins to slather it onto her face, making noises of disgust at the scent, before complaining “Y’know the second you go home, this bottle is going straight in the trash, right?”

“Ellie. Humor me, just this once,” You say, deadpan, causing the girl to snicker.

“I apologise, mother, I shall be sure to apply the sunscreen diligently every six hours, as per your wishes,” She says in a fake English accent, grinning at the way your eyes narrow in displeasure. 

“I’m sure it’ll be real funny when I never come and pick you up,” You say, dead serious, before breaking to swipe off a remnant stripe of white sunscreen from the side of her cheek. 

“Come here,” You give her a quick hug, knowing not to overdo it and embarrass her. “You’re gonna be careful, and call me if anything bad happens, right?” You press a small kiss to her forehead, immediately making a disgusted face at the remnants of sunscreen, something that Ellie notices and cackles at. 

As Ellie skips away to the friend that waves at her with their full body, you watch with a smile, trying to will away the tears that threaten to fall. This wasn’t new for you, but it was still a strange feeling, knowing that your girl wouldn’t be waiting for you at home. From the corner of your eye, you spot a similar scene unfold.

A man, watching his daughter leave, with that very familiar look of sheer panic marring his pretty face. You had been there before. You approach him carefully, noting the way his fists were clenching and unclenching by his sides in some sort of attempt at containing his emotions. 

You cough slightly to make him aware of your location, feeling sort of guilty at the way he was caught off guard, flinching at your presence. “First time?” You ask, a small comforting smile adorning your lips.

He lets out a slightly pained huff of a laugh, looking back at where his daughter was now sitting at the picnic table, “That obvious, huh.” His voice is small at this moment, before he suddenly seems to snap out of it and clears his throat. He stands up straighter and rubs a hand on the nape of his neck, trying to laugh it off more convincingly this time. The way his eyelashes were slightly wet gave him away.

“Guess I’ll get used to it.” He says resolutely, as if he was willing it to be true. He sticks out a large hand as he introduces himself, and you take it, shaking it twice. “Joel Miller, Sarah’s dad.” He pauses before remembering, “Oh, uh- That’s Sarah.” He gestures over to the cute tween girl now animatedly talking to your own daughter. You grin at the sight.

“Oh, I am so sorry. She seems to have met my spawn, Ellie. That’s her over there,” You point at the girl who had somehow stood on the table in the two seconds it took for you to point her out. His genuine laugh warms you, and it takes you a second to remember to introduce yourself. He squints slightly as you say your name. 

“Anderson Middle School, down in Austin?” He questions to your surprise. 

“Uh- yeah. Ellie’s just left their eighth grade class.  Have we met before?”

“No, not really. I just-uh. Think I’ve seen you before, at a PTA event. You were complaining about the girls soccer team getting their budget cut, if I remember correctly.” 

“Yes, that was me!” You confirm, “It did fuck all to help, but Ellie was proud of me for telling the superintendent to go to hell. So, that was nice. Did get banned from any and all following meetings, though.” You grimace at the awkward memory.

He chuckles, and you both fall into a comfortable silence watching your kids laugh with each other. Ellie was now sitting cross legged on top of the table, and Sarah must have been telling her a joke given how you could hear their laughter all the way where you were standing.

As the bell begins to clang, indicating that it was time for the campers to head on inside and that parents could finally head home, you notice Joel tense up beside you. A glance to your left proved that your suspicion that he was not handling this well was correct, as you saw the way redness was rising up his neck and into his face. He chews on his lips as he watches the girls pass through the cabin doors, finally out of his eyesight.

“Hey, it’ll be alright,” You can’t help yourself from comforting him, feeling the pain that you felt just last year when it had been Ellie’s turn to stay at an overnight camp for the first time. His bashful expression as he looked up at you with tears forming in his eyes melted your heart and you pressed a gentle hand against his firm shoulder, rubbing comforting circles.

“I promise, it’ll get easier. Last year, I was so scared to be all alone in that empty house without my Els, but it’s not too bad. Especially once you remember how nice it is to be able to day drink.” You joke, trying to lift his mood. 

He chuckles once, and tries to straighten himself up, squaring his shoulders and turning his head away from you to wipe at his eyes quickly before turning back. “Just goin’ to be weird. So used to her yapping on about her little boy bands. Three whole weeks without her,” He trails off and lets out an exhausted sigh, “Goin’ to be weird.” He repeats to himself quietly. 

“Single dad?” You ask, recognising that bitter fear of loneliness that you yourself had experienced many times in the process of raising a daughter on your own. He nods slowly, and turns to face you, seeming to finally have given up staring at the door that Sarah disappeared through. 

“Jus’ been me and her, goin’ on eleven years now.” He confirms, seeming to have slightly pulled himself together. He sort of looks you up and down for a second, before asking “What about you? Single?” He hesitates before stuttering out, “Single mom, I mean.” 

“Yep, just me and Ellie since she was four.” It’s in this moment that you realise you're still holding on to his shoulder absentmindedly, and you quickly withdraw your hand to your side. God, his shoulders were broad and firm.  His face did seem a little brighter, too, and it looked good on him.

“I know it can be hard to deal with when they first start to have a little independence, but there’s good to it as well. You get to have a little independence, too. And, I can say from experience that she’s not suddenly going to stop needing you. She’ll probably be on the phone to you before you know it.” 

“You’re right, I know. It’s just,-” He sighs, his slightly defeated tone still persevering in a way that told you that he had been wallowing in this for a while, “How can you know that? That she’ll still need me or want to call me. What if I go home, and she’s having so much fun that I don’t hear from her for the entire three weeks,”

You gesture to the ground beside him, to a pink backpack you noticed just a moment before, “Well, for starters, she’ll need to call you when she realises that she forgot that. Unless you’re the Hello Kitty fan in the family?” You tease gently, unable to hold back your laugh at the exasperated look on his face at his daughter's forgetfulness. Ah, the duality of being a parent. 

“God damnit, Sarah,” He frowns as he picks up the backpack, shaking his head in disbelief. “She would forget her own head if it wasn’t attached to her neck.” 

“See? She needs you.” You affirm, giving him an encouraging nod.

He chuckles, and the lingering sadness in his eyes seems to dissipate at the realisation that you were right. “Thank you,” he murmurs quietly, reaching out to give your forearm an appreciative squeeze. The sensation made heat rise to your face, and so you’re grateful when he turns around and begins to jog up to the cabin.

You watch for a moment, before turning around yourself and heading to your car. As much as you wanted to stay and talk to Joel, it was probably best to start the long drive back without letting yourself linger in the way his smile made you feel.

As you take your seat behind the steering wheel and begin to buckle yourself in, you think about how the handsome man looked you up and down, letting his eyes linger for a second too long on your body before they returned to your face. Tapping your fingernails against the steering wheel for a couple of minutes, you considered if maybe you should have hung back for just a moment longer, before deciding that you were probably overthinking things.  

You practically jump out of your skin at the urgent rapping of knuckles against the car window next to you. You see Joel standing there, chest slightly heaving as if he was out of breath. The window squeaks as you roll it down to face him while he leans down to speak to you once more. 

“Sorry, I-uh,” He swallows nervously, and takes a second to catch his breath, “I didn’t realise that you went back to your car– I just. Would it be alright if I got your number?” He asks in a rush, holding out a beat up old blackberry that had its battery duct taped in.

He must have sensed your confusion as he quickly continues, “It’s just. What you said, about independence. Maybe I should make the most of some time alone. Maybe…I don’t know, I could take you out, or somethin’” The way he shifted his weight nervously despite the casual words he used made you want to giggle at his expense. 

“Really? You’re not going to be too busy moping around?” You tease, despite taking the phone from his hand and beginning to type in your own number.

He laughs sort of breathlessly, relief tinging his words as he explains “The second I walked in there she ran over and gave me a big hug. Said she missed me already.” He didn’t bother fighting the grin on his face, “Couldn’ bring myself to tell her off for forgetting her bag.”

You laugh as you pass his phone back to him, heart beating faster as your fingertips brushed in the exchange of the device. 

“I’ll be fine,” He says, tone sure and even, as he looks at your number with a soft smile. “Really.”

a/n: again, this is for the pedro pascal cinematic universe discord server! please join if you want to :) we're nice, i swear!!

also, PLEASEEEE let me know what you think! posting is so nervewracking!!!

[gburph]

Lokius writing prompts 3

My new ideas, some of them are inspired by the latest episode. My previous Lokius writing prompts are here, and here. If anyone uses them, please let me know. I want to read it. Today there are only 3 prompts but they are LONG 👀

1 - After saving the Multiverse, Loki and Mobius live together in Mobius' home. They are both busy working at TVA and looking after the children. Loki is so happy to have Mobius back and be part of his life that he doesn't question anything. That is until the younger of Mobius' children calls him dad (to his face or to someone else, and Loki overhears it). Loki then starts to notice that people around them (in TVA and outside) think that he and Mobius are together. This causes Loki to have an existential crisis, as he has been acting like the children's dad and Mobius' partner and for some reason has been completely unaware of this until that moment. Loki realises that he is really happy to be a part of Mobius' family and would like to start a real relationship with Mobius, but he is not sure what Mobius thinks about this and at this point he is too afraid to ask.

2 - Field Trip to Avengers Tower AU! TVA's Loki landed in the place of 2012's Loki just after the failed Chitauri invasion. He managed to convince everyone that he was under the influence of the Mind Stone, and to help fix everything he had inadvertently contributed to he promised to help defend Earth from a future invasion by Thanos. As a result, he joined the Avengers and, despite earlier scepticism about his intentions at this point after two years, most people more or less believe he actually wants to help. Still some members of the Avengers prefer not to get too close to him. Loki is again an outsider. On a day when the Avengers' tower is holding open days and another tour of visitors arrives, Tony Stark notices Loki's strange behaviour. At the sight of a perfectly ordinary 50-year-old father of two sons, Loki, the ever-confident god of lies suddenly turns into a bundle of nerves. He nervously fixes his hair and clothes, stammers as he talks, and for some incomprehensible reason starts talking about jet skis to impress the man. The strangest thing is that this tactic works because this DILF, whose name it turns out is Don, keeps emphasising that he is a single father and has no wife. Has he already mentioned that he doesn't have a wife? Tony takes pity on Loki (who completely misses the fact that Don is interested in him) and informs him that Don will definitely agree if Loki asks him out. Loki, who at this point was preoccupied by the fact that he had suddenly met Mobius whom he had completely given up hope of meeting again after the events at TVA, is at first shocked that Tony thought Loki was romantically interested in Mobius. However, he takes his advice as he sees no other option to keep in touch with Mobius and before he knows it he starts dating him.

3 - Loki and Mobius fight a very dangerous variant that jumps through different universes and commits serious crimes on them. It's so serious that TVA has decided that capturing this variant is their top priority. During the fight, Loki and Mobius become separated, and this variant steals Loki's tempad and throws him out of the time door. Loki lands in the middle of Avengers Tower, some time after Thor: The Dark World and Captain America: The Winter Soldier, but before Avengers: Age of Ultron. In this universe, Loki really died, so he wasn't pretending to be Odin. Loki lands right in front of Tony Stark, Rhodey and Maria Hill. Luckily for him, the rest of the Avengers are on a mission at the moment. Loki quickly surrenders, is captured and escorted to a makeshift interrogation room in Hulk's part of the underground. During the interrogation, Tony becomes so worked up that he starts showing Loki photos and informations about people who died during the 2012 attack on New York. Loki tries not to show any emotion on his face, but then he sees Mobius' face among the victims. Tony notices his reaction, but he doesn't know what does that mean. After the interrogation, Tony tries to calm down in his workshop when J.A.R.V.I.S. tells him that something strange is happening in Loki's cell. Tony prepares to fly in guns blazing to stop Loki from escaping, but then he looks into the cameras and sees the same man Loki reacted to earlier walking through a strange orange portal. From that moment on, Tony can't look away and sees and hears their entire conversation. He often doesn't understand it, but from what he sees, Loki can't get over the fact that he killed this man, and the newcomer is trying to calm him down. Elements of this conversation that would be nice to include:

Mobius knows about everything since before (at first he wanted to go where he came from but after pruning he changed his mind? sus. Maybe some other Loki variant returned his memories and this is why Mobius reacts the way he reacts when somebody talks about it)

Mobius doesn't care that Loki killed his variant because he doesn't think his variant at that time was important to Loki and his death is no different from the deaths of other people

Mobius knows about how Loki was being affected by: learning that he was not only adopted but also a frost giant, suicide attempt in 1st Thor, falling into the hands of Thanos and the Other, the influence of the Mind Stone, etc. and how it all contributed to what Loki did

Mobius knows that even Loki who was out of his mind was trying to sabotage the invasion (come on, he can teleport, change his appearance and covert operations are his speciality, but he does everything in the most flashy and dramatic way possible? and Dr Selvig, a weak human managed to oppose the Mind Stone to the point of building an off switch in the portal? sus)

Loki repeats what Mobius told him in the interrogation room during their first meeting ("You were born to cause pain and suffering and death. That's how it is, that's how it was, that's how it will be. All so that others can achieve their best versions of themselves.")

A very strong hug

After listening to this conversation Tony can't go back to hating Loki. When the rest of the Avengers comes back Tony is on the Loki's side and he tries to calm down Thor who is angry, hurt and doesn't like Mobius at all. It would be better if Mobius didn't have children in this fanfic.

(This is a prompt I'm trying to use myself but I don't know if I will finish this story so I decided to give it to you. You are welcome to use it if you want to. Especially because even if I finish it I don't know if I'm ever going to translate it into English - it's not my native language)

Yes, I know most of my prompts have the "sudden realisation of feelings" cliche in it, but I just don't think that with everything going on in the show Mobius and Loki have time to process their feelings. Which is why they need the slow burn story to have the time to:

A - notice how they are feeling, process it, confess and get together.

Or:

B - get together because reasons, notice their feelings, process them and then confess.

I also know that I use Tony Stark a lot in these prompts. You can replace him with any other Avenger if you want.

As usual:

Bonus points if in post season 2 canon complaint stories every member of TVA hates spaghetti with burning passion.

More bonus points for Loki's interactions with various members of the Avengers, Guardians, SHIELD, etc.

Even more bonus points for Lokius slow burn.

Tell me what you think of my ideas!

BTW - I don't have Disney+ and I never watched Loki season 2 🤡 (only the first 4 episodes of season 1.) Most of what I know about the show I know from the internet. I hope my prompts are consistent with the plot.