#everyone smokes but kakucho I Headcanon that

[fic-dumpster]

imagine getting kidnapped by bonten and the first thing she does is complain about the smell of cigarette (as a cigarette hater myself)

Anonie, you and me both hate them 🤝🏻😂!

Y/N: can u at least open a window? It stinks in here 🤢🤢

*Everyone starts smelling themselve*

Sanzu: it’s Takeomi *throws away his metal case*

Everyone: yeah! Yeah… *frantically hide their rollies and blanks*

Takeomi:

Kakucho: here, this helps me. *passes you a small ziplock bag with coffee grounds*

Y/N: thank you, but… *shows him your tied hands*

Koko: this is not what we planned…

Mikey: I think it’s going great. She’s bonding with kakucho already.

[tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang]

any bonten headcanons? i just think seeing em all interact is fun

Oh definitely!!! Here are the ones I came up with!

Kakucho is the glue that holds this team together, whenever he takes a day off things become more chaotic.

Pretty much no one listens to Koko's presentations, Koko has a grudge against all of them because of this.

Mikey will sometimes just disappear, like they'll search everywhere for him but won't be able to find him. He always comes back though, the others suspect he has a hiding place somewhere.

Sanzu threatens to use his katana on the Haitani brother's after they tease him about something often.

Takeomi smokes more then he did before, he often says "I'm too old for this" too. 

Ran takes a lunch break everyday and refuses to be flexible with it, even if it's an emergency. *Ran calmly sipping coffee while everyone's fighting behind him*

Kakucho was the first to get his tattoo then everyone else just kinda copied him (Mikey's orders)

Mochi isn't caught up on any of the bonten drama, he has no idea what the Haitani's are talking about when they try to fill him in on the gossip.

There's a hole in the wall in one of their buildings where someone obviously punched it but no one has admitted to doing it so it's a mystery. 

They're so used to bad assassination attempts that they don't even phase them anymore.

The Haitani brother's insist on taking Kakucho out for dinner a lot (they baby him a bit)

Pretty much all of them have either taiyaki or dorayaki on hand to give to Mikey (it's considered a good idea to carry it in case he's in a bad mood)

One time during a fight, Sanzu accidentally grabbed a taiyaki from his pocket instead of his gun so he just threw the taiyaki at the guy.

Rindou enjoys interrogations a lot since if he gets to do them then he uses his joint locking technique to break their bones one at a time.

Koko has the nicest office

Ran secretly likes it when the police and media publish photos of them (he normally makes sure he looks perfect for this reason)

Sanzu and Kakucho have a rivalry going on (the Haitani brother's love to gossip about it)

The building has accidentally been set on fire at least 5 times

[maitanii]

More headcanons I've been thinking about lately:

- Chifuyu had a hamster when he was 8. A week after he brought him home, the animal died. His mother bought another one and replaced the previous without Chifuyu noticing.

- Shinichiro suffered hair loss when he had to explain maths to Mikey.

- Benkei and Senju are gym buddies! (I guess this is semi canon(?) They share the routines that they're going to follow during the week.

- Pah Chin never learned how to swim when he was a kid. Draken and Mitsuya were the ones who taught him how to.

- Inupi and Koko have the kind of friendship (or "friendship") where they can communicate with eye movements.

- Ran likes to talk to everyone at the saloon. And by everyone I mean old women who like to criticize everything. Ran just nods and starts talking/complaining about Rindou as if he was his 5 y/o son.

- Rindou comes off as the scariest person at the gym, but he is the one who points out to Kakucho if someone's doing an exercise wrong so the latter can go and tell that person they can hurt themselves.

- Baji took Sanzu to eat ramen once and told him to try the one he asked for (the spiciest one). Sanzu started to have (even more) trust issues after that.

- Talking about Baji, the only treatment he does on his hair, is washing it with a 3 in 1 shampoo.

- Waka used to smoke with Shinichiro. After he died, he quit smoking because cigarettes brought him a lot of memories.

- Every year, when Naoto's birthday comes around, Hina buys him a different Sherlock Holmes' novel.

(More headcanons here!)

[fic-dumpster]

After reading It's cold

Y/N remembers she knows how to knit and makes Kakucho a Sweater and for Mikey some socks because that man know no other way of footwear than flip flops

Y/n: here for you :3

Kakucho and Mikey: *dying from cuteness*

The boys planing how to get a handmade gift because peace was never an option in this gang

I feel like I made a lot of ask but I can contain myself this au is so damn cute

Headcanons? 😅 NANDIJAKDOF ta-da?

And they don’t know shit about crafts and handmade stuff.

Like I can see them trying to make soap bars and following YouTube tutorials and Sanzu trying to chop the soap with his Katana.

Then maybe after that doesn’t go as planned and trying to stop Mikey from biting the colorful soap bars, Ran and Rindou searched the Internet for something like “handmade for girlfriend. Gifts easy to do” 😂💕 and somehow they find crayon art...

Abort mission. Somehow Kakucho accidentally blew the wax towards Kokonoi and now his hair is kinda burnt... He screamed.

We skipped Takeomi and Kakucho going through the school section at the store... That was something....

Just imagine two big dudes with scars on their faces... Buying a cart of idk crayola crayons in the american section because the tutorial had that american brand.

Takeomi:buy any crayons!It's the same🤦🏻‍♂️

Kakucho: No☝️, the video showed the American ones.

Btw, Mochi took you out for some shopping as an excuse to keep you out of the house.

Handmade chocolates were out of the question. They all remember the White day fiasco (dont ask I will elaborate soon)

Rindou found this “Reasons why I love you” DIY idea. And they tried.

Koko: *sees what Sanzu wrote* you can't tell Y/N that!

Sanzu: why not? Is true.

Ran: you cant because I already wrote about her butt.

Koko: that’s not-

Takeomi: be more creative, you idiot

Kakucho: Mikey wrote about her soft boobs.

Rindou: yeah, exactly. Look at mine; I wrote about her pussy's gorilla grip.

Koko: *face contorted in pain* no...

Koko burned it all... Shouting about how they were a bunch of degenerates. The intention was there, but their wording... 😔

Finally Koko had enough and purchased tickets to a cruise…

Y/N: *arrives* *smells smoke* Takeomi! Don't smoke with the windows closed!

Everyone: *hiding everything* YES TAKEOMI!

Takeomi: ಠ_ಠ

To be continued? 😣