#everyone look surprised that this was the nyt

[qqueenofhades]

I find myself asking this question so very, very often, but why is the New York Times so deliberately fucking stupid?

[fragilecapric0rnn]

[series now cross-posted to ao3! stay tuned for more! ] Have been watching a lot FRIENDS lately bc its one of my and my gf's comfort shows and, of course, i cannot stop thinking about Stranger Things-ifying the hell out of it. the vision came to me SO CLEARLY [PART 2]

Sitting around the coffee shop that is basically a second home to the gang.

Nancy sits on the chair across from Argyle, one leg tucked under her, legal pad balancing on the arm, a pen being held between her pointer and middle finger, tapping incessantly on the pad. The other hand tucked into a fist and holding up her chin.

Argyle sits with his legs draped over the arm of the oversized chair, flipping through the latest Steven King book, one arm perched behind his head.

Jonathan has the NYT crossword in his lap, Robin peering over his shoulder, making him nervous.

A normal Saturday afternoon routine for the group of twentysomethings. The rain from outside softly hits the windows nearby, complimenting the soft chatter and gentle clanking of dishes.

But Robin can only seem to focus on Nancy's damn tapping.

"Nance?"

"Hm?"

"I'm gonna need you to stop tapping. I'm trying to beat Jonathan's puzzle."

"Just take it," he hands the paper over to her, annoyed.

"No! It's more fun when it feels like I'm beating you."

Jonathan looks over at Nancy, who is staring blankly at the wooden support beam a few feet away.

"What's going on Nance?"

"Nothing." Her pitch high, grabbing the rest of the groups attention, so much so that they all inch closer to her chair.

"Sounds like a whole lotta nothing," Argyle pulls a nearby chair up next to hers flipping it around and resting his forearms on the back of it.

Robin sits on the ground next to her and Jonathan takes a seat on the coffee table right in front of her.

"Fine!" She takes a look over her shoulder, toward the front door. "I have a date."

"Why are we whispering?" Argyle asks, also whispering.

"Because you know who could walk in any second."

"Why are we whispering and speaking in codes?" Jonathan asks, still whispering.

And as an act of divine timing, the front door to the coffee shop opens, and they all turn their heads to see a slightly damp Eddie shake his hair out and shed his leather jacket in one fell swoop. His face fixed in the same frown that's plagued his face for the last two weeks.

"Hey," the group says in unison, not moving a muscle from where they're still crowded around Nancy.

"What did I say about that tone," Eddie whines, flopping himself down on the couch that previously held Jon and Robin.

"How're you doing?" Robin asks, shifting her body, still sitting on the floor, toward him.

"All of her stuff is gone which means that all of my stuff is gone."

No one says a thing. Not even when the sound of a ceramic coffee cup shatters somewhere in the distance.

"Eddie?"

"What?"

"I don't mean to sound insensitive dude, but shouldn't you be a little less depressed considering... " Argyle trails off.

"Considering what?"

"Considering you're the one that left her?" Robin finishes the thought that everyone is having.

"I didn't leave her." He scoffs.

"No, but when you tell your long-term girlfriend about recently discovering that you're gay, one might see that as you being the one to end that relationship."

"We've been over this." He balls up his jacket and shoves his face into the wet leather. The group share a look, Nancy gesturing to Eddie's state as if to say this is why I'm not talking about the date.

He chucks the balled up jacket at Jonathan, who kicks his feet out in surprise as he catches it with his chest. Eddie's hands are now on either side of his face.

"The love was there! I could've loved her if..."

"If she was someone else?"

He deflates, lets his arms slump down and his shoulders do the same.

"Eddie, my friend, my pal, listen up." Argyle moves seats for the third time, now squeezing himself into the space between Eddie and the arm rest on the couch, draping his arm over his shoulders.

"You have just entered a whole new world, my man. So, you're gay? We're in New York City, so is everyone! Welcome home! All that love you were ready to give to Michelle? You get to hold onto that and give it to someone else. Someone who makes your heart sing."

"But I knew her just as long as I knew you guys." He whines, again, gesturing to Robin, Nancy and Jonathan. "It was easy. It was safe. How am I ever gonna find romance with someone? Where we have an established - I don't know - thing! A connection! A history! How?"

Eddie stares at them like he expects them to answer, forcing the rest of the group to share glances, let the air settle with Eddie's words.

The front door flies open just as a roaring thunder booms overhead, making for a dramatic entrance.

Robin's the first one to swivel her head toward the ruckus, the only one who has a perfect view of the person who burst into the shop.

A man dressed in a tux, drenched, like, just hopped out of a swimming pool drenched. Fighting with his bow tie with one hand and running his other hand through the unforgettable head of hair that sends Robin right back to Hawkins, Indiana. Back to the summer before her senior year.

Huh?

Unable to move a muscle in her body, she watches him clumsily go up to the counter and ask for her and Nancy, by name. The sound of her name sends her up to her feet and pushes her toward the man. An air of chaos surrounds him, drawing an offense amount of curiosity out of Robin as she finds her words.

"Steve Harrington?"

He turns around, his face lights up, and he does the weirdest thing.

He hugs her.

She remains stiff as he pulls back from the hug, hands still on either side of her arms.

They were buddies that summer scooping ice cream at the mall. Nothing crazy, or maybe even that memorable, but they started the summer as acquaintances at best and left as friends.

But then he left for college and she stayed and they never spoke again. A few run-ins here and there. But nothing substantial.

"I knew I'd find you here, I remembered that the last time I was in the city I ran into you guys and you're here!" He sounds drunk, but also like he drank a vat of espresso.

Clearly, it was substantial enough for him to come looking for her. Dressed in a tux soaking wet?

"And you're here, overdressed." She says, taking him in, unable to unscrew the confused look from her face.

Is that a boutonnières?

Oh no. Oh fuck.

"Steve?" Jonathan and Nancy say in unison as Robin brings him over to the couch.

Robin thinks Eddie might have summoned the ghost of hopeless high school crushes past, the way Eddie looks like he's just seen a ghost.

[nanoa1foryou]

Helsingin Sanomat did an interview with Windows95Man. Here are some of the main points, translated and summarized for you who don't have access to it since it's paywalled.

Note, There is a section talking about his stance on Israel's paryicipation in esc as well as his own.

He is currently waiting for a chance to get to therapy, after everything that has happened recently

He has not really had the chance to eat or sleep properly since the victory

The win was very much a surprise to him. he didn't think they had a chance until he had the trophy in hand

He is a big fan of Sara's song (it has been stuck in his head)

The topic of Israel was brought up and I'll translate that part fully here, because I think it is important to get in his words:

"Even though Keisteri said on Saturday, before the UMK win that he would be ready to represent Finland at Eurovision regardless of Israel partisipating, he also siad he wishes that Israel wasn't allowed to. The matter is not so simple now that he has actually won UMK.

'I'm not in this alone but with Henri. We got on this project to spread joy. That's what we want to do at Eurovision too,' keisteri says seriously.

'Everyone who's in this has to be comfortable.'"

And later in the text:

"At the moment Keisteri doesn't want to take a stance on wether his and Piispanen's trip to Malmö is certain. There is no date on teh calendar when they must have an answer.

'Were stalling it now. We want to have a few rest days, so that we can think in peace.'

You can see from Keisteri that he has ended up as the target of a rough social media beatdown as the result of the Israel situation.

Keisteri has already formed one clear opinion. He wishes that every artist chosen for Eurovision could sign a petition, that demands Israel's removal.

'I'm gladly furthering something like this.'"

Back to the other things in the article:

He has always intentionally gone against the current and against the rules. He has for years carried the "No Rules!" attitude towards life. He got it from his parents.

He was actually already a big name in underground art following circles due to his illustrations.

Particularly his 2008 designed character, Ukkeli, has gotten decent notoriety.

The denim look started from a joke video he made for a friend.

The windows95 outfit was inspired by said video and became his Flow-outfit (I'm guessing referencing Flow festival, but it is not specified.)

Windows95Man developed from there for his first ever gig, and the artist name was chosen because Dj Windows95 already existed

The artist picture taken for his first show (the one of him lying on the bed in the get up with super bright flash) has made some wild rounds on the internet as a meme completely unrelated to him

He eventually got hired for a mini gig at a bar at Flow festival. The pay seemed unreasonably bad so he intentionally played bad music like Crazy Frog. The place became totally packed. This then resulted in a huge amount of small gig offers .

He recently watched the final performance with his wife and son. His son laughed and him and his wife cried. He apparently hadn't realized the affect that their performance had had on the crowd.'

He had wanted to perform naked, in a Kalevala creation story type of performance.

Once he gets a break from all this madness, he wants to sit down with Käärijä. Apparently Jere reached out to him after the victory.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Okay, everyone, let’s talk Taskmaster speculation. I hate how stuff about the lineup for the following season can overshadow a season before it ends, or sometimes, like in this case, before it starts. It was around this time last year that they announced the Taskmaster season 17 studio filming dates, which perfectly coincided with some live gigs John Robins had canceled, so we all took time to get excited about that s17 lineup spoiler before season 16 had ever begun to air. Now, season 18 hasn’t started yet but we’re already talking about 19.

Spoiler alert, obviously, for vague speculation. I have no inside information or anything, so if you click through, you won’t be party to anything that’s meant to be secret. Just guesses based on publicly available information, which I know some people like to avoid, to preserve the surprise.

First of all, I find this Reddit post from a few weeks ago interesting. That obviously can’t be the exact five person lineup. First of all, Scroobius Pip would be a possible NYT candidate, probably not close enough to comedy for the main show. Secondly, obviously, all-white lineup. Thirdly, there’s no overseas person on the list, and we know from Alex’s recent interview that the season will contain that.

So it won’t be all five, but it could be a few of those. Social media evidence has been surprisingly accurate before, I remember in season 12, people accurately predicted 4/5 names before the studio filming started, just based on who’d recently followed Alex and each other. This may of course be wishful thinking on my part, that such vague social media evidence means anything, because that list contains two people who are on the shortlist of my dream contestants. Josie Long and Chris Addison would both be wonderful on there, particularly if they somehow ended up on the same season as each other.

Josie Long really should be there. She was the only women on the original Edinburgh Taskmaster in 2010, where there were a lot of men. Look at all the men in this video:

The non-Josie Long contestants there were: Dan Atkinson, Jarred Christmas, James Dowdeswell, Tim Fitzhigham, Steve Hall, Tim Key, Lloyd Langford, Mark Watson, Henning Wehn, Joe Wilkinson, Mike Wozniak, and Tom Wrigglesworth. Josie Long spent a lot of years being the "only girl in the lineup" for lots of things, between when she started stand-up in 1997 and when they invented other female comedians in 2014 (I apologize to Jo Brand for that joke, who also spent years holding it down for women on panel shows before they let women on panel shows, no women were allowed to do that stuff in the 00s unless they were named Josephine). I think she should be compensated for that in the 2020s by being allowed to appear on pretty much anything she likes.

More significantly, she was also on the second of the Taskmaster live Edinburgh shows, in 2011. See if you can spot the odd one out in the contestants from The Taskmaster 2011: Bruce Dessau, Dan Atkinson, Henning Wehn, Joe Wilkinson, Josie Long, Lloyd Langford, Mark Watson, Steve Hall, Stuart Goldsmith and Tim Key. Yes, you are right, the odd one out is Bruce Dessau, for not being a comedian. Was he ever a comedian? It did not occur to me to wonder that until right now, did most comedy reviewers start out their careers as comedians, the way most sports commentators started out as athletes in that sport? I don't know. It's not important. But if he was ever a comedian, he sure wasn't one anymore by 2011, and it is notable that when recruiting comedians for his comedy show, Alex Horne brought in the same number of reviewers who don't perform comedy, as he did of women who do perform comedy.

Obviously the odd one out in the above list is actually Josie Long, as the only woman again. And I say this one is more significant because she made the finals, where she faced off against Stuart Goldsmith in a battle of who could fit the most grapes in their mouth, administered by 2010 champion Mike Wozniak:

and she won:

Mike Wozniak won the first live Taskmaster event, and he's been on the TV show. Josie Long, by rights as a live Edinburgh Taskmaster champion, should be. In addition to her being, you know, a very talented comedian and generally funny person who would be absolutely excellent on Taskmaster.

She has now done two full shows in the last five years, and is working on a third, about how she's very very busy these days, creating and then raising two children, and has moved to Glasgow so getting down for London-based comedy shows isn't so easy, so it's possible that she's been offered a spot on previous Taskmaster seasons and turned it down, which would be fair enough. But she should definitely qualify for an offer, for a number of reasons, some of which are real (I do sort of genuinely think that winning one of the original live Taskmaster events should earn someone the chance to be part of it when it becomes a lucrative television show, but obviously far more significant is that she's a very talented comedian and generally funny person who would be absolutely excellent on Taskmaster), and some of which are not (I was joking about the reparations for female comedians who were on panel shows before that 2014 rule, mostly, I mean it does feel like they should get something).

A friend of mine noticed that some gigs she did in London, back in June, had an odd hole in them that could be shaped like the filming of Taskmaster house tasks, for someone who lives in Glasgow and, if she had to go down to London to film a TV show, would want to make the most of the trip and plan some stand-up gigs around it. That, combined with the social media evidence presented on Reddit (and the fact that she surely has more right to a spot than anyone else who's not been on it yet), makes me think there's a reasonable chance of her being on season 19. I may be starting to believe this theory a bit too much, I need to pull back on that so I won't be disappointed if it doesn't happen. It's two pieces of evidence, but they're both fairly flimsy and circumstantial.

Chris Addison was also on that list of people who've moved into Alex Horne's social media orbit, and there is, of course, lots of precedent in his Tweets for making his feelings toward that show clear. First, a couple of Tweets that let us know he's not off in Glasgow doing his own thing; if he's not been on Taskmaster it's because he's not been given the offer:

And he's tried various Twitter tactics to get that offer, including showing off his knowledge of the show:

Flattery:

Selling his potential, and reverse psychology, combined into one Tweet:

And just implying that his casting is inevitable, like that'll manifest it into existence:

Chris Addison has been campaigning for ages to get a Taskmaster spot, and I think he'd make great TV if that happened. God, imagine a team with him and Josie Long together. How excellent would that be? Oh, and if he's on season 19, that's 2/3 of The Department covered in two seasons. Only one more member of that radio show they'd still need, if only Taskmaster would suddenly decide they're interested in casting someone who lives overseas, is a big name there, but maybe still has some connection to British comedy...

No, obviously I know the "overseas contestant" to whom Alex recently referred can't be John Oliver. They'll be filming the studio portions of season 19 during the peak of the American election campaign, John Oliver's a bit busy these days to fly to England and count eggs or whatever. If it was going to happen, it would have been last year during the writer's strike, when John had just done the Horne Section TV show and could surely have fit in an NYT filming. I'd love to get my hopes up, but not this time.

I am interested in the speculation about who the American will be, though. Obviously my first thought was of Paul F. Tompkins, as he's done the Taskmaster podcast twice, both times claiming to be a huge fan of the show, and backing up that claim by frequently beating Ed Gamble at knowing Taskmaster history. He said both times that he'd love to be on it, has even though about things like what his costume would be.

He was my first thought, and then I read that he's performing in the UK in September, so that seems like a pretty strong case for him. I thought I read at some point that he was doing the Comedy Bang Bang tour and then some other gigs with a possible Taskmaster-sized hole in between, and if that were true, it would be very clear evidence, either he's doing Taskmaster or he's pranking the public into thinking he is. But upon further research I don't think that's true, he'd doing the podcast tour and that's it. I still think he's a very likely candidate, just not as clear-cut as if he were doing one thing in Britain, and then another thing with a hole in the middle. If anyone else has also read that thing that I think I read somewhere that says he's doing that, and you know what that is, please let me know because I'd like to know if I've missed something and that's true after all.

My guess for the American contestant is still Paul F. Tompkins, and I think he'd be fun. Admittedly I only know him from Bojack Horseman and those two Taskmaster podcast episodes, but I generally assume anyone who was in Bojack Horseman is probably cool (partly because that show was a masterpiece, but it's not like Paul F. Tompkins wrote it, so I think that view mainly comes from a subconscious assumption I have that anyone who's ever met Kristen Schaal has to be all right), and he was very good on those Taskmaster podcast episodes.

Either way, I think this is a good time for me to jump on the Paul F. Tompkins bandwagon. I've had his stand-up on my list of stuff to get to for ages, and I think I'll watch/listen to that stuff now. If he's on Taskmaster, then great, I've jumped on a bandwagon at the right time and I'll go in knowing more about him. If he's not, I think I'll still have a good time with his comedy, as I keep hearing how great it is. There really is a lot I don't know about American comedy.

Besides Tompkins, from the vague evidence I've seen, I think Hank Green is an outside shot at the overseas Taskmaster contestant. I don't know what Dropout is and I hope Taskmaster doesn't force me to find out.

[kaija-rayne-author]

Reaction to Dragon Age Veilguard Gameplay Preview. Editorial Critique.

Heads up... this isn't the most positive of reviews. And I'm a die hard (bleeding into the dirt) solavellan so if that's not your cup of tea you can stop reading here. Images and videos are all copyright of Bioware/EA. (Updated after the Q&A on June 14th)

Spoilers for all previous games, books, comics etc.

Content warnings for extremely colourful language.

I've worked really high powered corporate jobs, so I can play the part of cool, calm, perfect professional. But this is my gaming blog. I don't censor myself here. I grew up around truckers and it shows 😂.

I'm also neurodivergent so please know my emotions about this are confusion, sadness, a bit of horror, and depression. I've been told the way I use words can be read as confrontational. It's unintentional. (And again, it's my blog, I don't particularly feel it's right or necessary that I mask my AuDHD traits here, too.) I'm honestly not angry, or pissed off, or anything like that. Shrugs. I'm just sad. I don't bother to critique things I don't love. (Unless I'm being paid for it.) Much less to this extent. How much I've written here is in direct relation to how much I love Dragon Age.

Well.

I've watched it. Twice. Once on slow mode so I could get a better glimpse at the details.

I re-watched the trailer that I hated twice more. Again once on slowmo.

What. The. Actual. Fuck. Is. That?

It sure isn't Dragon Age. If it didn't have Bioware copyrighted material, I really wouldn't have been able to tell that it was supposed to be Dragon Age. If Rook had whipped out a light-sabre, it wouldn't have seemed out of setting. I want to play Dragon Age, not some weird Star Wars knock-off.

And yes, I know most of the fandom is going gaga at this point, but I don't understand why people can't see the issues amidst the excitement. Being the odd enby out in this situation is depressing as hell. I want to love it as much as everyone else seems to. But my editor brain won't shut up.

I'm used to having unpopular opinions. Just don't bloody crucify me for these. Editing media is my actual job. It's what I do. It's a highly developed, niche skill set I've been practising for over a decade.

Some people are extremely good with cars, I'm extremely good with editing. I only started doing it professionally because my writing critique partners told me my suggestions and the things I noticed were worth their weight in gold.

TBH, it wouldn't surprise me if I have some savantism when it comes to editing and writing. When I look at a piece of fiction in an editorial perspective, it's a lot like looking at a 4d puzzle for me. I can instinctively see what works, what doesn't, and how things that don't work can be tweaked so they do. I don't meet many others in my profession who do that.

And I have multiple NYT bestselling clients. I'm truly not talking out of my ass here. I'm not perfect, no human being is, but like many middle aged AuDHD/neurodivergent people, I know where my strengths and weaknesses lie. It comes off as arrogance for some reason to many people.

So, back to the preview.

It's got the right voice actors. It's got the copyrighted characters. It's got an absolutely terrible art style that is far too reminiscent of the comics for my taste. Because those comics were a travesty of both writing and art style.

And again, why the fuck does Varric have black hair? He's a strawberry blond! He looks like Varric and Blackwall DAI had a kid together. Or like they shrunk Blackwall DAI down. I don't want Varric to look like Blackwall. I didn't like him that much.

What? Did Varric have some sort of end of life crisis and dye his head, beard, and even his chest hair black? (Much reduced chest hair, fuck Bioware, why did you reduce his chest hair!) Did it all caterpillar its way up to his face? There were story significant reasons Varric was a dwarf without a beard. Did you forget that?

(Update from live stream Q&A. One of the devs said it's because Varric has been adventuring for a time and is mostly grey. That he's shown in dark light so it looks black.) Uhuh.

Reality bites sometimes, cause my dad is a strawberry blond gone grey and he never looks like he has black hair. Not even in the dark. But whatever. They've got an excuse for it. I don't buy it because it doesn't track with y'know, how hair usually works.

I could maybe get used to the steampunk vibe? Big maybe. That's still within the realm of Dark Fantasy.

Also... I've seen some reaction videos and y'all... Dark Fantasy is a genre. It has absolutely nothing to do with the colour palette! It means it's fantasy with dark/horror elements FFS!

I swear the reading comprehension of people has suffered since I was a kid.

But, but, but... if you've been reading me for a while you had to know that was coming.

What. The. Fuck. Is. This?

Walmart Sans? Bad Halloween decor they couldn't sell until it was 99% off at a home goods store?

Is that... is that supposed to be a Darkspawn? SERIOUSLY!?! Given a Warden was fighting it, I have to assume someone at Bioware has ergot poisoning.

It looks like a modern cartoon version of Skeletor. Which is definitely insulting to Skeletor. This dude looks like he's got on his tights, speedo, boots, a bitchin' mohawk, and orange lights on his garb for the Halloween party at the club. He might win best costume, but he fails at being a Darkspawn.

They didn't just swing and miss with going to the club dude, they couldn't even find the bat and glove.

And yes, I've heard the 'lore' excuse that it's the red lyrium warping them that way. I could buy that if they were A) red lights, not orange. B) Kinda spiky, crystal-like in structure. Y'know, like the red lyrium infected creatures in DAI? (That's called continuity.)

The lines are too smooth, bone doesn't warp like that, and he (the ogre version too) seriously just look like really bad Halloween decorations.

Also, whoever drew that needs to study human anatomy a bit more. That skull shape is so wrong. In so many ways. Former forensic anthropologist and artist. I've held more human skulls than people can probably guess. I've literally pieced them back together. I'm not awful at drawing either. That image is just bad.

I'm not a player who lusts to have DAO back as the only kind of Dragon Age. I've loved them all for different reasons. Games change over the years as new ideas, new creators, and new technology comes out. That's honestly a good thing. Innovation is awesome. Most of the time.

Sometimes it's a complete miss. Like with going to the club dude up there. I love a lot about the art in these games. It's a large part of why I play them. And that thing up there? That's not a Darkspawn.

THIS is a Darkspawn.

This is a Darkspawn.

This is a Darkspawn

This is a Darkspawn

They're supposed to be kinda gut wrenchingly horrific. The graphics are older yeah, but maybe you get my point? If you know the Lore of Dragon Age... I've marinated myself in it... the Darkspawn are blight corrupted humans, dwarves, qunari, and elves.

It's supposed to be the whole concept of 'what used to be, but no longer is' that's often used in horror. You know... the thing that looks like it was at one time a deer but is walking on its hind legs with a broken neck and glowy eyes that sends atavistic shivers down your spine?

They aren't... modern cartoon Skeletors or the Halloween deco you hide in the back of the garage 'cause you're embarrassed you ever bought it.

WTAF were they thinking? I honestly can't get past my utterly confused shock on this whole thing.

I've been saying for quite a while now that Bioware needs better developmental and diversity editors. (Or maybe even any? Do they have any? 'Cause that preview really makes me doubt it.) And uh... well. Yeah. That. (I'm an editor, yes. I do both kinds, yes. I'm very good at it, yes. No, this is not me hoping for a job at Bioware/EA.)

Snorts. Would I accept a job if a Bioware fairy dropped into my life and offered me a good living to look critically at that game for problems that could maybe be fixed?

I suppose me writing all this down is mostly just to get it out of my head. And to maybe let other disappointed Dragon Age fans know they aren't alone. Given some of the things I've seen on the 'net. I'm far and away from being alone in these opinions. You're not wrong. They've absolutely changed it so much it doesn't even remotely feel like Dragon Age.

And no, before you take that and run with it in an anti-diversity direction, I utterly love that they depicted Rook as Black. I love that Davrin is a Black elf. I love that Neve has a prosthetic leg. It's not the diversity changes I have an issue with. I adore those.

Probably. They'd likely pay better than my current job. And I really do love Dragon Age so much that if I could contribute to it in a way that made us middle-aged gamers happy too? It would be pleasing.

The likelyhood of that is probably akin to winning the lotto though, so no, it's not the point of my post.

But I'm going to slide this monstrosity of a post toward the devs. Maybe they'll listen to the free editorial critique and make this game make a wee bit more sense? Or at least feel like Dragon Age, sheesh.

Because who the actual fuck wrote most of that dialogue?

I want to point my finger at the ground and scold them like a puppy who peed on the carpet.

Then give them a really basic 101 lesson on dialogue.

It was either boring for the player characters (I absolutely assume it will get better there, it was just the beginning of the game, to be fair). And I definitely trust Patrick Weekes to have done an amazing job as lead writer for most things.

But I really would've figured that Bioware would know by now that fans want to know what the character is going to say exactly before picking an option. Not just a yes, no, mediocre choice. Players have been pretty loud about that. BG3 gave us (mostly) what we wanted and it swept GOTY.

The rest of the dialogue was such freaking factory canned bullshit that I almost rolled my eyes out of my head. Which would've been awkward. Fishing them out from under the dresser and all.

A Venatori shouting 'avenge our fallen brethren' (or whatever, I'm not watching it again to get the exact dialogue) has so much stanky cheese on it I can't even. People don't talk like that. Apparently, a few Bioware writers could stand to take a few writing classes. That's basic.

Patrick Weekes is an amazingly skilled writer. But obviously, not all Bioware writers are. (Snorts, which I know very well and it's why I'm so disappointed they chose Lucanis.)

Although, since Mary Kirby did the writing for him for the game (glares at Bioware) there may be hope for him.

Music? There was music? Hans Zimmer was a bloody mistake. Everything he's made in the past decade has sounded the same. Such a shame, because the soundtrack of DAI was epic.

The demons are fine-ish? I guess? If you utterly ignore how similar they look to Fortnite demons. They look a bit weird, but demons are just emotional emanations from the fade so could conceivably look like anything they wanted. (Lolz, the rather skilled artists I know are kinda pissed off at the lack of artistic skill used for their development. Even the under 30 years old ones. Especially them.)

But also... they had really cool demons already designed from DAI (from what I understand they used the same engine, Frostbite). Why didn't they just give them a glow up and use them?

This dude would've been way better for the pride demon. Plus, there would've been some continuity between DA:I and DA:V. In series work, some continuity is important. Or the thing doesn't feel like the thing. Just like based on those previews this doesn't feel even remotely like Dragon Age.

While I don't have epilepsy, I can guarantee those demons as pictured/audio in the preview are going to give me and probably many other gamers massive headaches. Gods know what they'll do to people who actually do have epilepsy. I mean... there are epileptic gamers. Gaming is supposed to be inclusive.

And I don't really want to fight Fortnite demons. I want to fight Dragon Age demons. I don't like Fortnite. (Or, y'know, I'd spend my money and time playing Fortnite?)

Why are there so many freaking Venatori? I mean... I'm flattered to have been right when I called it that we'd be fighting them again. But in Tevinter Nights they're depicted as being on their last legs as an organization.

Again with the Venatori. A little uninspired to be completely frank.

They're freaking everywhere in the gameplay preview? You fight so many of them! They're like toadstools after a rainstorm. Popping up like daisies! Whatever. Guess the major amount of bad guys in the Tevinter cities is likely to be Venatori. Which is just weird considering their god, Coryphyfish, is dead.

And dear gods he had better stay dead. He was such a lackluster villain in DAI to start with. And bringing back a previous defeated-supposed-to-be-dead villain is an overused fantasy trope that needs to die the miserable death it deserves already.

I bet they have huge spiders in this game somewhere, too. Sigh. Why is it always spiders? Or wolves? Or big cats? It's fantasy! Where is the creativity? (Also, you know that's kinda ableist against people with arachnaphobia, right? Which is a lot of people.)

But I've gone on at length before about Bioware and their ableism issues. (Which is why they need diversity editors.) I personally like spiders, but they could at least stop having them everywhere. Or give arachnophobic gamers the option to turn them off or replace them with a different image.

Moving on from their complete loss of the horror element with the Darkspawn; I wouldn't be scared of that thing even if it surprised me in the dark. I'd laugh at it. (And I'm a jumpy person. A lot of things can scare me if they come at me in the dark.)

And I'll ignore the absolutely uninspired bad guys in Minrathous, and the Fortnite clone demons.

What is that thing Bellara is holding?

I remember grinding for days in FF to get a special bow. Bows are my thing in a lot of games. When I got it made, it looked like someone had glued two surfboards together and tried to call it a bow. Bows have to be, y'know, functional? All weapons do? That's rather the point?

It sure as fuck isn't a bow. Someone has been playing Final Fantasy a little too much. Don't get me wrong, I've got a lot of hours in FF. I like it a lot. But one of my major complaints about it? Is the completely, utterly, ridiculous weapons. Someone is compensating. Not sure what exactly they're compensating for but it's for something. Sheesh.

I've always loved the somewhat realistic-ish weapons in the Dragon Age universe. I mean, yeah. Still heavy on fantasy... but they at least looked like they'd work. I loved Neve's reduced staff, that was awesome! Whatever Bellara is holding does not look like it would work.

So... I'm not an archer and if you are, do feel free to weigh in, but would that thing even work?

A bow is a precision instrument. Our species has had bows for a long damned time and their form hasn't really changed all that much. Because they, y'know, work the way they are, and don't if you change them too much?

You've got the curved wood/horn/other material with a string kind (I'm being deliberately simple in terminology, I do actually know what a bunch of bow types are called) and you have the cross bow type.

What we do not have is front heavy monstrosities like that thing. Okay, okay, she's a veil jumper. Maybe she got it from some ancient Arlathan temple or something. But the ancient Elvhenan were supposed to be technologically advanced. Not Final Fantasy obsessed gamers.

Oh, but what about Bianca, gods rest her beautifully crafted soul. They excused that as a one of a kind thing never to be replicated. It's handwavium, but fine, rule of cool works for her. It doesn't work for whatever Bellara is holding unless they come up with a damned good story reason for it. (And it had better be damned good 'cause that thing might be pretty, but it's just severely uneducated about weaponry, at best.)

Also, why couldn't it have been the less useful Bianca Solas blew to bits? (Can't stand the dwarf version in the slightest.)

Moving on.

The settings look interesting. The teams doing the backgrounds and settings have always blown it out of the park, so I imagine they'll be suitably gorgeous when we actually do see the game.

Though I had sorta expected Arlathan to look a little more... jungley forest like, rather than paved shopping mall. But whatever, I'm hopeful there'll be better parts of it later in the game.

Rook looks like they'll be fun to play. And I really hope we're not class locked as a rogue. Rogues are my usual choice but I'd still like to have the choice. (Edit. Reports say we have complete flexibility in our character creation. I just want to know if I can make a fat adventurer.)

The steampunky science-fantasy vibe. Enh. It's not my favourite. I feel it was a mistake to try to horseshoe the depicted kinds of science into the fantasy of Dragon Age that way. Because it really feels shoved in whether it fit or not.

And I write science-fantasy, so it's not like I don't love it. I adore it. It's just something that sort of has to be designed that way from the start. Which Dragon Age most certainly was not. Don't they ever get sick of retconning stuff? I sure get sick of seeing the retconned stuff.

I could see how Minrathous might use magic in a way that we use neon lighting. Or for any number of cool fantasy type magical uses. I just don't get why it had to look like a Star-Wars knock off. If I wanted to play Star Wars, I'd, y'know, play Star Wars?

I think they did capture the grunge and dirtiness and personality of an ancient city pretty well. Like it almost has a consciousness of its own. But as I've said many places, the settings artists are freaking amazing at what they do.

Although, if they have floaty spaceship like things why exactly are the Qunari even a worry? I don't have strong feelings one way or the other on the Qunari, but I know a lot of gamers were hoping to see a Tevinter/Qunari war. If Tevinter has space shippy things, what threat could the Qunari possibly be? Or even the teased Minrathous monsters?

Last I checked (which was a couple of days ago, re-reading those awful comics) the Qunari were still using bows, swords, spears, and knife type war implements. Some bombs, too, because gatlock. And enslaved, lyrium addicted mages.

Big floaty space-shippy thing means small floaty space-shippy things because that's how invention works. Where are the small ones? That thing is just a plot hole the size of Canada. (And a skilled developmental editor could've told them that before they put it in the sky. Sheesh.)

The fighting and conversation options look very similar to DA2. I liked the fighting in DA2 so after the usual adjustment to a new game it would probably be fine. Not sure how I feel about only having the ability to have two companions.

That art style though? I just cannot imagine having romantic scenes with characters done in that art style. And the Romances in Dragon Age are a large part of why I play them. Cartoon sexy times aren't my thing.

You do you, I'm not judging. But for me cartoony sexy times are just weird. Not sexy.

And no matter what they said after that disastrous character reveal the other day, the gameplay reveal doesn't look different enough for me to not call it cartoony. Especially for those Halloween decorations.

Now, I need to get to the end where we see some weird looking mage who I think is supposed to be Solas.

Really? That's supposed to be Solas?

This is the Solas my solavellan heart fell for so hard I've been simping over him for the entire time since I started playing these games.

Regardless. THIS is Solas.

Beautiful, nerdy, a little stylized, but with an art style that really worked for me (and probably most other solavellans given how much we love him).

So who in the living fuck is this?

I guess he's Solas shaped. But he doesn't make my heart squeeze in that OMG he's finally back!! way. He doesn't do anything for me. All I feel is numbness for that version of Solas. Which is disappointing as hell.

I didn't really have high hopes for him given his early looks for this game, but dang. Just dang. He's like a plastic ken doll. Very much like a too shiny plastic ken doll. And while I know Gareth David-Lloyd did the voice acting for him, he somehow doesn't even sound like Solas?

I've also been sadly informed by someone who would know that that is the absolute best they could do with him. We're not getting him fixed no matter how much we scream. He doesn't even have freckles! (And your eyes are fooling you if you think you're seeing them. Our brains often do that. Fill in things that should be there when they really aren't. There was some sort of design issue snafu which is why he doesn't have and cannot have freckles. This is confirmed insider information.) Freaking Lace Harding is peppered with them. Why can't my Solas have freckles?

Edit from Q&A (I think? It's second hand). Someone said they wanted to make everything look more 'painterly'.

Listen. I paint. Digitally and traditionally. You really have to work at it to get something that texture free. That's not 'painterly' its like... glossy modern playing cards. I hate it. Especially given the kind of fresco style paintings that Solas did in DAI. There is ALL sorts of texture with those.

Sigh. Maybe he'll grow on me. Like virulent mould. (Edit. He honestly hasn't. Every picture I see of him kills Dragon Age a little more for me. Which is bloody heartbreaking.)

IDEK man. I keep asking myself what Bioware was thinking. This game feels like it was made for a much different type of gamer than those of us who have loved the previous games for so very long.

It feels like they were trying to draw in a younger crowd while almost keeping the appeal that held us older gamers. That 'almost' is important there. (Edit. Confirmed by John Epler during live Q&A. This is exactly what they did. I feel incredibly betrayed.)

We older gamers are the ones who've kept hope for this game alive. Who have kept Dragon Age alive. The company made it, but without us hoping for it, talking about it, making mods for it, repeatedly replaying it? Would it ever have gotten there?

And we get Fortnite demons, Ken doll Solas, Halloween decoration 'darkspawn', and space shippy nonsense that kills about 50% of their foreshadowing.

I know I'm not the only older Dragon Age player feeling a little (lot) betrayed right now.

Based on these two trailers (and I'm absolutely praying I'm wrong) I think they failed project Dragon Age. Miserably.

I am pleased to learn that there are confirmed non-binary options for character creation and decent hair. So that's a plus. (Looks at the drops in the bottom of the almost empty bucket and sighs.)

I'd still like to play the game. I'd honestly LOVE to be wrong in my opinions on this. I'd really, really love to be wrong as much as I love Dragon Age.

But I'm sadly coming to an end of what I'll be able to write about Dragon Age, no matter how much I love it.

I will happily sit down to a meal of crow if I'm wrong. I want to be wrong, because I love Dragon Age.

Though, I'm pretty good at prediction. I have stereotypical autistic pattern matching, which is a lot of what prediction is.

My computer, which is literally duct taped together, isn't going to be able to handle DA4. It can barely run BG3 without overheating. As much as I love my computer, (and I really do, I get attached like a lot of AuDHD people do) it has broken or missing keys, and several of the more important keys just don't work. The screen is also starting to go.

I have lived and breathed the art and lore on these games since I started playing them. They're one of my most prominent AuDHD special interests. It's killing part of my soul to know I won't get to play it.

I'm a disabled, neurodivergent editor/author with a family to support. There's absolutely no extra for me to save up for a new rig. I'm ineligible for disability aid because I'm an immigrant. (Not that you can actually survive on disability here, anyway.) And I live in Canada, which is having a rather obscene cost of living crisis right now.

Even with my issues with the... er... everything, I still want to know what happens. I want to see it for myself.

Being an editor makes reading/tv fraught for me. If a piece of media makes me feel like I'm at work I can't really enjoy it. And 99% of books/shows do. (Don't become an editor if you love to read.)

Games tend to have fewer things to trip up my editorial brain. (Not this particular game, obviously 😂.)

That's all to say that gaming is basically my only form of accessible entertainment. I do it a lot in whatever spare time I have.

Even with my misgivings on the previews. I really would like to both play it and be utterly, completely wrong about it. I'd love to be able to keep writing about Dragon Age. But without being able to play the next one, all I can really do is rehash old stuff.

My work of words is my only income. And most writers really don't make all that much. Editors can, but I'm currently working a job that pays less than minimum wage doing editing. I'm under NDA, so I can't even tell people which huge corporation a lot of people use every day pays their editors so poorly.

But there isn't a whole lot of freelance work available since COVID.

Doing freelance work, I make between $50 and $70 an hour. Because editing is skilled, niche work. Experienced editing even more so.

That's why someone can be an amazing writer and a shit editor. You really do have to dedicate yourself if you're going to be good at editing anything. Most people don't put in the time or effort. I'm a better editor than I am a writer. (I'm not an awful writer, I just know where my strengths lie 😂.)

I suppose if Solas had... I dunno... talked to people and told them why he felt he needed to take down the veil it would've helped. But his arrogance always does get in the way. In the writing trade that's termed his fatal flaw.

My partner has a broken back from his last job so can't work (and they denied his disability because that makes complete sense) so we barely scrape together enough to pay the bills each month (and lately have been failing even on that).

I think Rook and company fucked up badly by interrupting Solas' ritual. Lolz, I rather hope Solas 'greatly disapproves' in Rook's head or something. That would be bleeding hilarious.

I think what Rook did at the end there is probably going to get Varric and a whole lot of other people killed.

Solas killing Bianca was awful, yes (and the merciful option, btw, Bianca can be fixed, Varric can't). But I think it's just the prequel. I don't think our beloved Varric is gonna be around long enough to miss her.

[gavisuntiedboot]

Gavi in love with an author or astrophysicist?

A/N: Welcome back to another installment of boot on the bus!! Because of the F1 kick I’ve been on, it took everything in me not to change this to an engineer :,) so we went with author

~~

“Thank you so much for joining us! We at Blaugrana Publishing are delighted to welcome y/n, author of the NYT best-selling series “Instinctual”, to unveil her newest work.”

A loud, thunderous applause filled the hall, as 200 people cheered while you waved back, placing your hands on your chest to express the immense gratitude you felt for everyone that had supported your book.

You had started your debut novel “Instinctual” when you were in college, eager to turn all of your experiences into inspiration for a doomed love between a headstrong physics girl and and an idiotic business boy, who didn’t realize what he had until she had slipped between his fingers. Your publisher has taken a huge risk on you, but had backed you regardless to support ‘budding local talent’. The booktokers instantly fell in love with toxic, spicy romance that you weaved in your pages, which gave the publishers enough confidence for you to continue writing your series.

You had decided that your protagonists next love interest was going to be a footballer, prompting you to start researching footballers, watching interviews, and just learning their general mannerisms. Your publishing group had gotten you a media pass to La Masía, allowing your to interview players and watch games to get a full character study. You had every intention of making this footballer an ass - someone who would use your protagonist when convenient and abandon her for the “love of the game” when the time came.

Sitting in the stands of a La Masía match against the Sevilla football academy, you were hurriedly scribbling notes into the pages of your journal, taking in the sights, sounds, and interview responses from the players to get a full picture. You registered when someone had sat down next to you, but made no motion to look up or acknowledge their presence. About 15 minutes into the game, the person beside you tapped your shoulder. Looking up at him, your eyes met his honey ones, bright in the afternoon sun. He looked familiar, but you couldn’t place where you had seen him before.

“Sorry, if you’re going to spend the game doing homework, do you mind switching with my friend sitting behind you? We want to watch the match.”

The question had thrown you off guard. You looked the teenage boy up and down, unimpressed by his laid back demeanor. He and his friend beside him had spent the entire game muttering in hushed, angry tones. You didn’t see why they needed to add a third commentator.

“Sorry, but I’m taking notes of the game for my book. If your friend wanted my seat, he should have bought this ticket.”

“We never buy tickets for La Masía games.” He responded, sounding genuinely surprised by your suggestion. His friend beside him nodded.

“Then how did you three get in? Did you hop the fence?”

“No, we used to train here.And even if we didn’t- they always let the first team players in for free. ” The boy responded, eyes flicking between you and the game on the field.

Your eyes widened - you had struck gold. Actual first team, professional footballers to help you with your book. The excitement flooded your brain, and you spoke faster than you could think.

“Could I get your number?”

The three boys all turned to you, the one beside you confused, the other two holding back giggles.

“Usually don’t give my number to fans. Sorry.”

“I literally have no idea who you are.”

This statement made the two observers burst out laughing, unable to contain their mirth at what had just transpired between you two. The boys introduced themselves as Gavi, Ansu, and Alenjandro. Gavi begrudgingly accepted handing over his number, taunts from his friends heard for the remainder of the match about how was “still unknown” and living in someone named Pedri’s shadow.

Over the next several weeks, you messaged Gavi almost daily while writing, asking him about football, his personal life, the team dynamics - everything.

“Do fans give you their numbers often?” You asked, phone held up to your ear with your shoulder as you typed vigorously.

“Yeah, more often than not. Sometimes they’ll throw it into Pedri’s car as we drive home. Actually, there was this one time I was doing a signing at the team store and this girl slipped me her number. I didn’t want to embarrass her so I just took it and held onto it. There’s a video everywhere of it happening. Apparently I have amazing rizz?”

You laughed into the phone, taking a break from typing just to imagine Gavi, awkwardly accepting a paper slip, being turned into the master of getting girls. It had become a routine for you to call Gavi in the evenings, usually to ask about the character. But at some point it just morphed into calls about your days, your lives, your frustrations. It went on like this for two months. One evening, as you sat jotting down title ideas, you asked Gavi:

“Can I ask you something kinda personal?”

A pause.

“Sure. What’s up?”

“Where would you take a girl out on a date?”

There was silence on the other side of the line for so long you had to make sure the call didn’t drop. After this long pause, he cleared his throat and said, “Well, how much do I like her?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well like if it’s a girl I found on instagram and I just think she’s pretty, then she’s meeting me at whatever club I’m going to with the boys. But if I’ve known her for a while and I like her, then it’s different. There’s this one kind of whole in the wall place near the stadium, it’s just- actually wait. What are you doing tonight?”

“Huh?”

“What’re you doing tonight? If you’re free, I can just show you rather than try and describe.”

You froze momentarily. You had noticed the dynamic shifting between you and Gavi, but that was just phone banter- nothing serious, nothing real. What he was proposing (a date) would shift the paradigm of the two of you more than you were ready for. But still, something within you was intrigued. Gavi was handsome - no questioning that - and there was something about him that drew you in, like a warm fire on a cold day.

“I’m… not doing anything. I’d love to go see it.”

“Perfect. I’ll text you the address and we can meet there at 8?”

Yes you had initially wanted to make your footballer dark and sinister like all the men you’ve known in your life. But sitting across that table, looking at Gavi, listening to him speak about his love, his passion, the future he wanted - you couldn’t do it. This man was softened butter on the inside, shy and courteous, like the boys in 50s movies. He walked you back to your place like a true gentleman, holding your hand at your door, and professing, confidently with some slight stuttering, that he thought you were beautiful, and wanted to be more than just your friend.

That was the night that changed your writing (and life) forever, for the better. Your second book, “Enticement”, was even better than the first, this time awarding you critical acclaim for your ability to “provide humanity to a callous character, creating compelling and layered people”. Your final book in the trilogy, “Enraptured”, won you a YA book of the year award, as it told a compelling love story where two young lovers could break down each others walls and love them at their cores. Your protagonist and her footballer lover were praised for how “real, honest, raw, and romantic” their relationship was. That was all thanks to Gavi. He taught you so many new forms of love and ways to express it - like someone seeing color for the first time. He showed you how to weather storms together, build each other up, and ground one another when everything seemed to crumble.

“Before we get onto talking about your upcoming work, we have a few questions from the audience.”

You answered questions about your thought process and your world building, encouraging all the young writers in the room to give it their best shot. The last question arrived, and a young girl in round glasses approached the microphone.

“Hi I’m Valeria. First of all I really love your book. I just wanted to ask about the final couple, Maria and Xavier. A lot of your book seems so realistic, except for the way Xavier acts. He’s almost too perfect, like he’s not like any man I’ve ever seen in real life before. So I just wanted to ask: do you know any men in real life that are like Xavier?”

The crowd erupted in cheers at the question, and you laughed to yourself. You looked off to the side of the stage, where Gavi stood leaning against the wall. He smiled widely, winking at you.

“You know, I used to think men like that didn’t exist either. But then I found him, doing something I’ve never done in my life - watching a football game. So don’t lose hope that your Xavier is out there. He might be climbing a mountain or buried under booms in a library or by the side of the road with a busted car. You might find him in the oddest of places, but he’s out there. And when you find him, he’s going to turn your world upside down, and bring you joy you didn’t know was possible. Because mine has.”

~~~

I always wanna say more but that’s the end of the bus ride and the end of the Drabble. Almost iftar time!!

[frances-baby-houseman]

I am still thinking about the NYT Best Books of this Century So Far List!

A lot of people, both people I actually know and like, people who talk about this stuff, seem very surprised that My Brilliant Friend was picked as #1. I'm only surprised in that I didn't know what would come out in first, but I'm not at all surprised to see that particular book in the number 1 spot.

A lot of people have been talking about why-- the beautiful portrayal of female friendship in a way that we haven't seen a ton of, the way ferrante fever took over the literary set for a few years-- but I think they are missing a huge reason for why it won, which is how the ballots were cast.

They asked people to pick ANY ten books from the past 25 years, and my suspicion is a lot of people picked 6-8 books that they loved, and then loaded the rest of the picks with, say, 1 nonfiction, 1 person of color, an extra woman, and a book in translation. The number of books in translation that enter the popular conscience are just so so small -- you've got scandinavian crime, you've got atmospheric japanese books-- maybe a murakami, but it's really small. And if everyone wants to give their due to a book in translation, you're looking at a lot of people who are immediately going to go to ferrante. I think this also explains how 2666, a book that absolutely did not get past the literary set at all!, managed to get in the top 10.

I mean, yes, it IS one of the best books of the past 20 years! But I also think, bc they were picking any 10 books, I think it ended up filling the imaginary "book in translation" slot for a lot of the voters.

Just my thought!!

[daughter-of-sapph0]

1) Detroit become human was about how white robots have it just as bad as African American slaves. cyberpunk 2077 alongside its glitches had racist elements such as orientalism, demonizing black men in the main story, and a horrible implantation of black features in the character customization. the Stanley parable had an in game video of a white man lighting a black child on fire. all games in the grand theft auto series showcase racist stereotypes of black criminals. all south park games have multiple racist "jokes" that are just as offensive and stupid as the show. minecraft on consoles had skin packs, one of which featuring the main character Steve wearing an orange prison jumpsuit, and being one of only two skins where Steve is depicted as Black.

Black people have been telling you about games that are racist for years. but you simply refuse to listen or care.

2) BLM is not an organization that all Black people are a part of. BLM stand for Black Lives Matter, and is a movement, not an organization, that is against police brutality. of course you don't understand the difference between a movement and an organization because you think all people you disagree must all be friends and all agree with each other and are secretly plotting to ruin your life. there is that Black Lives Matter Global Organization Fund, which IS an organization. that is a collective of far-left anticapitalists activists who are part of the Black Lives Matter movement. but not everyone who is part of the movement is part of the BLMGOF. when you say "BLM has never done this", who are you referring to? all Black people ever?

3)

4) "sex class" holy fuck kill yourself

5) "wait till tras find out..." firstly, stop with the tra shit. say tranny with your whole chest. because that's what you mean. you want to call us a slur, but you don't want to face the consequences of calling people slurs. so you make up weird words and acronyms, which are just tranny spelt different ways. it's the same energy as calling someone a fag and then saying "what? all I did was call you a bundle of sticks! there's nothing offensive about sticks, is there?". it's middle school level bigotry. and it's pathetic and makes you look insane.

6) you're trying to make the argument that trans people don't know that markus pearson sucks. but minecraft is the most popular game in the world. every already knows that markus pearson is a terrible person. he's a stupid racist sexist antisemitic transphobic cunt and I hope he fucking kills himself. but a) he hasn't had anything to do with the game in years, and b) he isn't actively funding for the death of trans people.

I have my own criticisms of minecraft. mainly the antisemitism with the villagers. because, surprise, they were created by an antisemite. but despite trying to distance themselves from pearson, Microsoft has done absolutely nothing to change this gross part of the game. I have been vocal about this for years, yet people like you don't give a shit.

also, minecraft is incredibly popular with autistic people, and people who are autistic and people who are trans overlap a lot.

also also, Lena Raine, famous for her work on soundtracks for Celeste and Deltarune, also composed some of the best songs ever for minecraft. why is the important? let me direct you to the best and shortest "personal life" section on wikipedia I've ever seen

actual trans people work on minecraft. minecraft and mojang are filled with queer devs who actively support and are part of the queer community.

so when the current dev team of a game has trans people actively working on it, doesn't invite the creator to the 10th anniversary celebration, does literally everything they can to get rid of all mentions or ties to the creator, and have gone on record saying they want nothing to do with pearson and have cut ties with him completely, I think that means that the game is not transphobic like you want it to be. it's not that no one cares because "he's a man". it's that minecraft isnt a franchise that uses its profits to fund genocide.

also, as I was saying before, minecraft isn't perfect. it still has antisemitism, it still has a racist past, and it still has a shitty ex dev. and while they can't change the past, they can change the future by removing the antisemitic tropes that surround the villagers. yet they don't, and I am very vocally upset and have expressed my views on this subject many times.

7) but you know a game with far worse antisemitism? hogwarts legacy. far more antisemitism than any transphobia. this game is literally the blood libel myth of Jews stealing the blood of white children. the goblins, which have large noses and control the banks and have a shofar and kidnap white wizard children and are secretly working with the wizard nazis are quite literally based off the antisemitic lies and conspiracy theories of the new world order, blood libel, greedy Jew, and holocaust denial. even on their own, these tropes would be absolutely disgusting and repulsive to any person with half a brain. but even though this game has more antisemitic lies and myths than a 4chan /pol/ thread, people like you don't care at all. because "it's hairy potty! and I love hairy potty! the creator hates trans people and that's based ... uh... I mean... I have nostalgia for the series! (and I don't give a shit at all about Jews)"

interestingly though, when this was pointed out to you in the replies, you said "no that's not true" and "so what? that's no reason to get mad" and "actually YOU'RE antisemitic for thinking that goblins are supposed to be Jews". and personally I think that anyone who says that last one deserves a bullet though their skull.

8) also, I find it very interesting that you're complaining and crying and pissing their pants when trans people boycott one (1) game, yet they refuse to listen to anyone else, especially Black people or Jews, when they suggest boycotts, and also refuse to boycott any games with extreme sexism and misogyny in them, despite pretending to care about women.

I have never seen a radfem say anything negative about fat princess, the guy game, dead island, overwatch, persona 5, grand theft auto, and hell, even hogwarts legacy.

if you didn't know, this game was developed by people who were part of gamergate. and if you don't know what gamergate was, it was a massive controversy online where women were saying how sexism in online games is bad, and a bunch of men said "no, and you're wrong! my opinion is worth more than your lived experience". and then some of those men went on to make what you think is the best game of all time, that contains extreme amounts of racism and antisemitism, and sales of which are actively funding a genocide against trans people. but I'm assuming that none of those things are negatives to people like you.

tldr: op need to kill themselves

[i-write-some-stuff]

Overwhelmed - nyt

Pairing: Yuta x gn/enby OC (Kye) Contents: When the party gets too rowdy, Kye thought they had escaped the others by getting outside. They thought wrong. Warnings: overwhelmed oc, weed consuption, beer drinking Word count: 1.2k

A/N: Alright so I hated the original one so I took it down and rewrote it. I think this one is much better and I hope you guys like it too! Also I know I promised a masterpost for this series, it's coming, things just got out of hand lately but we're (hopefully) back on track

*This is purely a work of fiction. It is in no way meant to represent any idol in any way, shape or form.

Voices became louder, and Kye turned around, trying to see what was going on. Johnny was nowhere to be found, and Haechan and Mark had run off who knows where, leaving Kye alone with their thoughts in the middle of the very crowded living room. Doing their best to not bump into everyone, Kye tried to make their way out of the crowd and into the kitchen, where they figured they could have a moment for themself. Everyone else seemed to be going the opposite way, trying to peak at whatever was happening over there. Mumbling ‘sorry’s and ‘excuse me’s, Kye pushed through, ignoring as much as they could the loud and repetitive beat of the music.

A glass bottle broke, startling Kye, who spun around, spilling their drink all over someone’s shoes. Apologizing profusely, Kye kept backing up, abandoning the empty cup on their way. With the kitchen finally in sight, Kye cursed, seeing that it was just as crowded as everywhere else. The backdoor seemed like their best bet. When they got outside, they threw themself against the wall, out of breath.

“Kye? You alright?” Turning towards the voice, Kye saw Yuta, sitting on the concrete bench a bit further from the door. Kye nodded.

“In a minute,” they mumbled, but Yuta seemed to hear, since he didn’t push further. Closing their eyes, Kye tried to focus on their breathing.

If they were completly honest, Kye would have wanted any other frat brother out there right now. They didn’t have anything against Yuta, but they found him slightly intimidating. They had never really talked either, as Yuta was usually at work whenever Kye and Johnny met to work on their project. They were surprised Yuta even knew their name, given that the both of them had barely ever talked.

“Are you gonna be sick?" Yuta asked, and Kye shook their head. "You should probably sit down, then," he replied, patting the seat next to him. "I don't bite," he added, and Kye smiled, giving in.They went to sit with him, and he leaned back against the wall, bringing a joint to his lips. He really was beautiful, Kye thought. In the dim light from the patio's string lights, he looked like he was straight out of a movie. After all, his nickname was the Prince, and Kye thought whoever gave him that nickname were very right. Yuta glanced at them, and Kye looked away, feeling the heat burn their face. Fortunately for them, Yuta misread their reaction.

“Want a smoke?” He asked, stretching his arm towards them.

“Thanks,” Kye replied, taking a long drag, then very slowly blowing it out.

“Someone’s used to this,” Yuta joked.

“It’s one of the few things that help my overthinking brain to shut up sometimes,” Kye explained, and Yuta nodded.

“I get that. Do you feel better now, though? I can go and get you water."

“No, no, I’m good,” Kye paused, “and honestly… I’d rather not be alone right now. If you don’t mind,” Kye said quietly.

“I shall not leave your side, then,” Yuta said, and Kye smiled.

They sat in silence for a moment, the joint going back and forth between them. Yuta noticed how Kye was fidgeting with a strand of their ripped jeans, and Yuta handed them the joint again, then took off one of his necklaces, letting it dangle in front of Kye. It was a simple chain with a small feather carved in a black stone. Kye gave him a questioning look. “To play with. In stead of destroying your jeans. And your skin,” he said, noticing the raw skin around Key’s nails. Kye hesitantly took the necklace, running their fingers along the feather. It felt cool and soft, and their focus fully on the piece of jewelry for a moment, examining every side and smooth curve on the little object. Yuta watched them, a fond smile on his lips.

“Do you like it?” He asked, and Kye nodded. He thought they looked very cute, staring at his necklace as if it was the most beautiful thing they had ever seen, analyzing every single part of it. He almost let himself tell them to keep it, but he cleared his throat instead. “So what was happening back there?”

“No idea. Everyone got loud and started pushing around to get a better view so I just dipped,” Kye explained.

“Hmm. Probably just Haechan doing a keg stand or something.”

“That would add up, yeah,” Kye laughed. “What are you doing smoking all alone out here?”

“Couldn’t find anyone to come with me.”

“In a frat house full of partying uni students? Yeah right." A beat passed. "You didn’t ask me,” Kye stated, eyes glued to the feather.

“I didn’t know you smoke. In fact, I don’t know you at all. Other than your name, of course.”

“What do you mean you don’t know me? We see each other all the time!” Kye said, falsely offended.

“Yeah, like half a second.”

“That’s on you, really,” Kye said, and Yuta laughed, happy to see them more comfortable.

“Hey, I don’t choose my hours. If anything, you should plan your visits around my schedule.”

“I don’t know your schedule.”

“I can text it to you.”

“Smooth. Do you always get people's numbers like that?” Kye asked, finally looking up from the feather to look at him.

“First time, actually. Did it work?” They stared at each other for a second, then Kye sighed.

“Gimme your phone before I change my mind,” Kye said. Yuta had a cocky smirk, handing it to them.

The back door opened rather violently, and Kye jumped at the sudden snap, instinctively scooting closer to Yuta. His arm went across them, hand falling on their thigh in a protective stance as they both checked to see who was coming out.

An angry Jaehyun made his way through the yard, Jamie not far behind him, calling out his name. Yuta and Kye shared a look, Yuta noticing his position and moving his hand away.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

“That’s okay-“

“Leave them alone for once, will you?” Johnny’s voice caught their attention, and they saw him holding Haechan back, keeping him from running after the two others. Haechan turned around to protest, but his eyes fell on Yuta and Kye, and his target suddenly changed.

“Since when do you two know each other?”

“They’re a regular at the cafe,” Yuta lied right away, and Kye nodded. Kye shared a look with Johnny, who knew that was a lie, but strangely refrained from commenting. His eyes fell on Kye’s lap, where the feather necklace and Yuta’s phone now laid, and he smirked.

“Come on,” he told Haechan, dragging the younger boy back inside. Poking his head out the door, he added “They’ve calmed down, by the way.” Kye smiled, thanking Johnny as he disappeared, yelling some non-sense as he did.

“Do you wanna go back inside?” Yuta asked, and Kye took a deep breath.

“I’ll stay a little longer. But you don’t have to wait for me,” Kye said, handing Yuta his phone back.

“I’m good,” he said, closing his eyes as he leaned back against the wall. A few minutes later, a sort of chant rose from inside, and Yuta sighed.

“See, this time it’s really Haechan doing a keg stand,” he said, and Kye laughed, mindlessly playing with the feather in their lap.

[newstfionline]

Tuesday, May 16, 2023

TSA tests facial recognition technology to boost airport security (AP) A passenger walks up to an airport security checkpoint, slips an ID card into a slot and looks into a camera atop a small screen. The screen flashes “Photo Complete” and the person walks through—all without having to hand over their identification to the TSA officer sitting behind the screen. It’s all part of a pilot project by the Transportation Security Administration to assess the use of facial recognition technology at a number of airports across the country. The effort comes at a time when the use of various forms of technology to enhance security and streamline procedures is only increasing. TSA says the pilot is voluntary and accurate, but critics have raised concerns about questions of bias in facial recognition technology and possible repercussions for passengers who want to opt out. Travelers put their driver’s license into a slot that reads the card or place their passport photo against a card reader. Then they look at a camera on a screen about the size of an iPad, which captures their image and compares it to their ID. The technology is both checking to make sure the people at the airport match the ID they present and that the identification is in fact real. A TSA officer is still there and signs off on the screening.

NYC converts hotels to shelters as pressure mounts to accommodate asylum seekers (AP) The historic Roosevelt Hotel in midtown Manhattan shuttered three years ago, but it will soon be bustling again—reopening to accommodate an anticipated influx of asylum seekers just as other New York City hotels are being converted to emergency shelters. Mayor Eric Adams announced Saturday that the city will use the Roosevelt to eventually provide as many as 1,000 rooms for migrants. Across the city, hotels like the Roosevelt that served tourists just a few years ago are being transformed into emergency shelters, many of them in prime locations within walking distance from Times Square, the World Trade Center memorial site and the Empire State Building. A legal mandate requires the city to provide shelter to anyone who needs it. Even so, Adams says the city is running out of room for migrants and has sought financial help from the state and federal governments.

Title 42 Is Gone, but Not the Conditions Driving Migrants to the U.S. (NYT) Relative quiet has prevailed along the southern U.S. border since Friday, despite widespread fears that ending a pandemic-era policy to immediately expel most migrants, even asylum seekers, would set off a stampede from Mexico. A surge in migrants did in fact happen. On some days last week, apprehensions reached about 11,000, among the highest recorded. But the lull could be the calm before another storm. Beyond U.S. borders, political instability, gang violence and climate change will continue to spur emigration. Much of the developing world, from Africa and Asia to South America and the Caribbean, is still reeling from economic ruin wrought by Covid-19 and exacerbated by the war in Ukraine. “Everyone is looking at the arrivals at the border, but the root of the problem lies in push factors inside countries of origin that are going to persist,” said Justin Gest, a political scientist at George Mason University who studies immigration. “When crises occur, they generate northbound flows,” he said. And, beyond the factors pushing migrants out of their home countries, the magnet drawing people to the United States is the labor market. Unemployment stands at its lowest level in decades, yet there are millions of unfilled jobs.

France pledges more military aid as Ukraine’s Zelenskyy makes surprise Paris visit (AP) France pledged additional military aid for Ukraine on Sunday, including light tanks, armored vehicles, training for soldiers and other assistance as the Ukrainians gear up for a counteroffensive against Russian forces, following surprise talks in Paris between the Ukrainian and French presidents. Ukraine’s Volodymyr Zelenskyy and France’s Emmanuel Macron met for about three hours at the French presidential Elysee Palace—an encounter kept under wraps until shortly before the Ukrainian leader’s arrival in Paris from Germany on a French government jet, extending his multi-stop European tour. With Ukraine planning to go on the offensive hoping to retake Russian-occupied territory, military aid was a top agenda item. Macron’s office said France will supply dozens of light tanks and armored vehicles “in the weeks ahead,” without giving specific numbers. Also promised were more air defense systems, but again details weren’t made public.

As Ukraine Makes Inroads in Bakhmut, Devastation Still Reigns (NYT) For nearly a year, Ukraine has been simply trying to hold on in Bakhmut as Russian forces pressed in on the city from both sides while at the same time laying waste—block by bloody block—to what had once been a vibrant salt-mining city of 80,000. Over time, Bakhmut has taken on an outsize importance: a symbol of Ukrainian defiance and of Russian leaders’ determination to blast their way to a small victory in a little-known corner of eastern Ukraine. Last week, for the first time, Ukrainian forces launched a series of coordinated counterattacks and in a matter of days won back territory north and south of the city that it had taken Russian forces months to capture. But Russian forces still control more than 90 percent of the city, according to Russian and Ukrainian officials. The commander of the 24th Motorized Rifle Brigade, who goes by the call sign Prince, said on Saturday that after taking a short tactical pause, Russian forces were furiously assaulting the city again. “Artillery fire, rocket and airstrikes do not stop for a minute,” he said. “Every meter of the city is now under shelling.”

The Ivy-educated opposition leader who could end Thai military rule (Washington Post) For nearly a decade, Thailand has been led by an authoritarian military establishment—but Pita Limjaroenrat, an Ivy League-educated business executive and leader of a liberal opposition party, is seeking to change that. The results of Sunday’s election appear to have gone largely in his party’s favor, potentially setting the stage for Pita to become the country’s next prime minister, but rules set in place after a 2014 military coup could complicate that process. At 42, Pita is nearly 30 years younger than Thailand’s current leader, retired general Prayuth Chan-ocha, who took power after the 2014 coup. Pita was born in Thailand but raised in New Zealand before he returned to his native country and completed an undergraduate degree in finance and banking at Thammasat University in Bangkok. He went on to earn master’s degrees in public policy and business from Harvard University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, according to his legislative biography. Before becoming a member of Thailand’s parliament in 2018, he worked as the head of ride-share company Grab’s operations in Thailand and earlier as a consultant at Boston Consulting Group. He has pledged to move Thailand out of what he calls a “lost decade” of slow economic growth. Part of that plan, he says, includes diversifying Thailand’s tourism-dependent economy and spreading it out beyond the capital, Bangkok. In a televised interview with Bloomberg last month, Pita said three main points of his agenda are to “demilitarize, de-monopolize and decentralize.”

China launches projects to build ‘new-era’ marriage, childbearing culture (Reuters) China will launch pilot projects in more than 20 cities to create a “new-era” marriage and childbearing culture to foster a friendly child bearing environment, the latest move by authorities to boost the country’s falling birth rate. China’s Family Planning Association, a national body that implements the government’s population and fertility measures, will launch the projects to encourage women to marry and have children, state backed Global Times reported on Monday. The projects come amid a flurry of measures Chinese provinces are rolling out to spur people to have children, including tax incentives, housing subsidies, and free or subsidised education for having a third child. China implemented a rigid one-child policy from 1980 until 2015—the root of many of its demographic challenges that have allowed India to become the world’s most populous nation. The limit has since been raised to three children.

China sentences 78-year-old US citizen to life in prison on spying charges (AP) China sentenced a 78-year-old United States citizen to life in prison Monday on spying charges, in a case that could exacerbate the deterioration in ties between Beijing and Washington over recent years. Details of the charges against John Shing-Wan Leung, who also holds permanent residency in Hong Kong, have not been publicly released. Leung was detained April 15, 2021, by the local bureau of China’s counterintelligence agency in the southeastern city of Suzhou. Relations between Washington and Beijing are at their lowest in decades amid disputes over trade, technology, human rights and China’s increasingly aggressive approach toward its territorial claims involving self-governing Taiwan and the South China Sea.

Off-grid solar power brings light to remote villages LAINDEHA, Indonesia (AP)—As Tamar Ana Jawa wove a red sarong in the fading sunlight, her neighbor switched on a light bulb dangling from the sloping tin roof. It was just one bulb powered by a small solar panel, but in this remote village that means a lot. In some of the world’s most remote places, off-grid solar systems are bringing villagers like Jawa more hours in the day, more money and more social gatherings. Now, villagers frequently gather in the evening to continue the day’s work, gather to watch television shows on cellphones charged by the panels and help children do homework in light bright enough to read. Some 775 million people globally lacked access to electricity in 2022, according to the International Energy Agency. Sub-Saharan Africa and South Asia are home to some of the largest populations without access to electricity. Not having electricity at home keeps people in poverty, the U.N. and World Bank wrote in a 2021 report.

Massive new US embassy complex in Lebanon is raising eyebrows (CNN) A massive new US embassy complex in Lebanon is causing controversy for its sheer size and opulence in a country where nearly 80% of the population is under the poverty line. Located some 13 kilometers (about 8 miles) from the center of Beirut and built on the site of the current embassy, the US’ new compound in Lebanon looks like a city of its own. Sprawling over a 43-acre site, the complex in the Beirut suburb of Awkar is almost two-and-a-half times the size of the land the White House sits on and more than 21 soccer fields. Many Lebanese on Twitter questioned why the US needs such a large embassy in their capital. Lebanon is smaller than Connecticut and has a population of just six million and few American tourists go to the country. “Did the US move to Lebanon??” tweeted Sandy, a social media activist. “Maybe you’ll have enough room to work on all those pending visa applications,” tweeted Abed A. Ayoub, national executive director of the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee, responding to the grandiosity of the new complex.

[tastydregs]

IBM Says It's Made a Big Breakthrough in Quantum Computing

Scientists at IBM say they've developed a method to manage the unreliability inherent in quantum processors, possibly providing a long-awaited breakthrough toward making quantum computers as practical as conventional ones — or even moreso.

The advancement, detailed in a study published in the journal Nature, comes nearly four years after Google eagerly declared "quantum supremacy" when its scientists claimed they demonstrated that their quantum computer could outperform a classical one.

Though still a milestone, those claims of "quantum supremacy" didn't exactly pan out. Google's experiment was criticized as having no real world merit, and it wasn't long until other experiments demonstrated classical supercomputers could still outpace Google's.

IBM's researchers, though, sound confident that this time the gains are for real.

"We're entering this phase of quantum computing that I call utility," Jay Gambetta, an IBM Fellow and vice president of IBM Quantum Research, told The New York Times. "The era of utility."

At the risk of seriously dumbing down some marvelous, head-spinning science, here's a quick rundown on quantum computing.

Basically, it takes advantage of two principles of quantum mechanics. The first is superposition, the ability for a single particle, in this case quantum bits or qubits, to be in two separate states at the same time. Then there's entanglement, which enables two particles to share the same state simultaneously.

These spooky principles allow for a far smaller number of qubits to rival the processing power of regular bits, which can only be a binary one or zero. Sounds great, but at the quantum level, particles eerily exist at uncertain states, arising in a pesky randomness known as quantum noise.

Managing this noise is key to getting practical results from a quantum computer. A slight change in temperature, for example, could cause a qubit to change state or lose superposition.

This is where IBM's new work comes in. In the experiment, the company's researchers used a 127 qubit IBM Eagle processor to calculate what's known as an Ising model, simulating the behavior of 127 magnetic, quantum-sized particles in a magnetic field — a problem that has real-world value but, at that scale, is far too complicated for classical computers to solve.

To mitigate the quantum noise, the researchers, paradoxically, actually introduced more noise, and then precisely documented its effects on each part of the processor's circuit and the patterns that arose.

From there, the researchers could reliably extrapolate what the calculations would have looked like without noise at all. They call this process "error mitigation."

There's just one nagging problem. Since the calculations the IBM quantum processor performed were at such a complicated scale, a classical computer doing the same calculations would also run into uncertainties.

But because other experiments showed that their quantum processor produced more accurate results than a classical one when simulating a smaller, but still formidably complex Ising model, the researchers say there's a good chance their error-mitigated findings are correct.

"The level of agreement between the quantum and classical computations on such large problems was pretty surprising to me personally," co-author Andrew Eddins, a physicist at IBM Quantum, said in a lengthy company blog post. "Hopefully it’s impressive to everyone."

As promising as the findings are, it's "not obvious that they've achieved quantum supremacy here," co-author Michael Zaletel, a UC Berkley physicist, told the NYT.

Further experiments will need to corroborate that the IBM scientists' error mitigation techniques would not produce the same, or even better, results in a classic processor calculating the same problem.

In the meantime, the IBM scientists see their error mitigation as a stepping stone to an even more impressive process of error correction, which could be what finally ushers in an age of "quantum supremacy." We'll be watching.

More on quantum computing: Researchers Say They've Come Up With a Blueprint for Creating a Wormhole in a Lab

The post IBM Says It's Made a Big Breakthrough in Quantum Computing appeared first on Futurism.

[qqueenofhades]

I think the Aaron Sorkin fic people are writing about the convention to be extremely silly. It's going to be Biden. And if Biden's health takes a downturn and he feels the need to step down its going tk be Harris. This fantasy where we skip over her to whip up two random white guys(or like maaaybe Witmer) and somehow cruise to victory instead of fragmenting the party months before the election is simply not going to happen.

Look, I'm just saying, I got an email from the Biden campaign this morning where they seemed pretty darn happy with the actual (i.e. not-bloviating media) results of the debate: $38 million raised in 4 days ($30 million from individual small-dollar donors), 10K new volunteers in a week, 3x surge in campaign volunteers for battleground states, essentially no change or even a modest boost in the polls. So I think at this point, we can cautiously conclude the following things:

The debate looked bad for Biden, perhaps, but doesn't seem to have hurt him nearly as much the incredibly bad-faith BIDEN NEEDS TO STEP DOWN NOW takes being pumped out by the NYT and its other compatriots would suggest. Especially when these same media outlets have been gleefully sabotaging Biden at every turn for years already and whose fake-sanctimonious hand-wringing "for the good of the nation" pieces honestly should get them dropped into Superhell for Bad Journalists;

Biden went to Raleigh NC right after the debate and gave a fiery rally speech that was very well received. Now, I don't know why we didn't have that Biden at the debate, but it was the same night and there clearly was not any "cOgnItiVe dEcLinE" happening there (also Biden has a stutter and has for literally his entire life, and had a cold on debate night, so it was just an unfortunate confluence of factors)

There are very few actually undecided voters in this election (once again: HOW???) and those who tuned into the debate were largely already convinced of which candidate they were voting for and this didn't do much to change their minds. Just like, you know, pretty much every other debate in the history of presidential elections.

Ordinary voters, and not mainstream media outlets with BIDEN IZ BAD goggles clamped over their eyes, were able to see Trump's insane Gish gallops, lies, and full-blown dementia; this isn't going to get any better for him when he's already lost 20%-25% of GOP voters in every state primary and still is going to be sentenced in his criminal trial;

The D.C. political elite screaming about how Biden should step down (FOUR MONTHS BEFORE THE ELECTION) and leave the Democrats to start from scratch with some Star Chamber-selected candidate with no money and no incumbency record and no organization apparatus and a divided party are either fucking weapons grade morons or working secretly for Trump, because that IS in fact the best way to lose the election;

Such speculation seems to fall chiefly on Gavin Newsom, who (to his credit) has shut down any and all suggestion that he should try to step in and take the place of an incumbent who has won every state primary with 90% or more, because he's remotely sane and understands that this year is too important to fuck around with;

I've somehow never seen any suggestion that Biden should step aside for the duly elected (brown, female) Vice President, because everyone seems to think some Young Miraculous White Guy is coming and/or should step in;

All this while SCOTUS is clearly so confident of Trump getting back in that it's willing to grant him Absolute God King status pre- and post-emptively;

Yes, Biden needs to up his game before the next debate (though that's on Fox News iirc, blargh), but I think it's far enough post-debate that we can say it was bad but did not sink him, and if anything, reinforced the fact to many ordinary, non-brainwormed voters that Biden is old (which has been the number one chief theme of news coverage for four years and is no surprise to anyone) but is a decent and principled man doing a good job, while Trump is an absolute gibbering insane orange shitmonger fascist. I don't think he did himself any favors in that regard.

....anyway. The point is, do not be fucking insane people, Biden is not going to step down and frankly shouldn't, don't read the NYT (as noted, they've openly admitted to sabotaging him for personal ego reasons so I don't know why the hell anyone would listen to what they have to say about him), this is still an eminently winnable election, and let's go get those motherfucking fascists. I want Trump in jail and all of SCOTUS and the MAGAGOP fucking crying over it because they fucking suck. Let's go.

[yuuyuu2]

NYT Fic Recs

main acc: @yunojeyes

Masterlist for fic recs: here

- Rum, Eggnog And An Accidental Confession @neonun-au

| genre: friends to lovers, fake dating au |

- Sakura @yutahoes

| genre: series, fluff, childhood best friends, soccer player Yuta x single mom reader |

- Surprise! @jungcherie

| genre: parenthood au, angst, fluff |

Yuta is a true businessman who has no plans to marry or start a family, however all this changes when someone leaves him a curious gift in his office and turns his whole life around.

- People Like Us. @choerrypuffs

| genre: fluff, angst |

You know you can’t get involved with nakamoto yuta, but you were never really good at following the rules anyway.

- Fuyu Ga Owaru Mae Ni (Before The Winter Ends) @yutahoes

| genre: fluff, a little angst, LDR, soccer player Yuta au |

“Kami-sama, please let us meet before the winter ends”

- Love Me Now @kpophours

| genre: one shot, tattoo artist au, friends to lovers, mutual pining, fluff |

Johnny has many many friends, this includes a certain hot Japanese man.

- Fuchsia - Colored Sunglasses (M) @whereisten | genre: soulmate au, fluff, comedy, a little smut, little angst |

Yuta is at the top of his game with his record-breaking band that’s about to tour and his perfect celebrity girlfriend. But he can’t shake the feeling that something is missing. When he meets you, however, he finally feels..at home.

In a reality where soulmates so rarely find each other, is it possible that the two of you will see the signs?

- Risk It All @moonctzeny

| genre: best friends to lovers au, fluff, angst, mutual pining |

"When Yuta walks into your car shop in his old Nissan Skyline asking for a mechanic to tune it for his next drag race, you almost turn him down immediately. You could have never imagined how much closer you'd grow through this process, building a friendship - and maybe something more - while building his ride. Tonight, Yuta has found himself in a race that will have him put it all on the line. For his grandfather's name. For his reputation. For you"

- Delphinium @taelme

| genre: demigod au, fluff, angst, strangers to lovers | *mentions of suicide, loss of a loved one, mild panic attack symptoms, dealing with grief*

“She’s like a totally different person, I don’t get why she even bothered showing up. She looks like she doesn’t even wanna be here. And I didn’t pack any cold weather clothes.” “Kind of ruins everyone’s buzz, to be honest.” Yuta overheard one of the campers scoff as they walked past him

But it couldn’t have been you, could it?

- Catching Feelings @markresonates

| genre: angst, suggestive, fluff |

Groundbreaking advancements in artificial intelligence are made all the time, but you’ve never considered something like Yuta could develop a mind of his own. If that’s true, is it possible for him to feel affection too?

- Devlish Deals @aesthyuckic

| genre: angst, romance |

Venus had always had a sixth sense. She knew it was a terrible idea to go play with a ouija board in an abandoned building at night. Her friends were persistent though.

- Tattoos And Tea @bellalikeskitties

| genre: fluff, tattoo shop au, flower shop au |

You work at a flower shop and a tattoo artist from across the street comes in to practice drawing flowers for his next tattoo.

- Red Flag @aehyei

| genre: angst, fluff, mini crack, slight enemies-to-lovers, college au |

There are exactly three reasons why you shouldn’t fall for a man named Nakamoto Yuta: (1) he had a reputation of being a cheater. (2) he’s your sister’s ex. (3) he always carries a red flag.

- Cupid @yutahoes | genre: fluff, single dad au |

-Under The Blue Flames @yutafrita | genre: Fantasy au, Supernatural nct, sometimes college au, sometimes magical school au, angst, fluff |

"There is no blue without yellow and without orange." - Vincent Van Gogh

[aftgficrec]

You know what i could really go for rn and like all the time? Andrew povs where he’s so GONE for neil like completely enamored and Neil has no idea I know there’s a lot of fics like that where it’s neil thats in love like thatt but come on andrew started crushing on neil from day two where’s the yearning fics

Oh, Andrew does plenty of pining! Apart from the fics in this post, check out our previous recs as well, you’ll find some real gems in there. Enjoy the yearning! - S

From previous posts:

Andrew Minyard, hopeless gay disaster here

Pining Andrew here

Teenage Andrew with a crush on Neil here

‘dating & other disasters’ here

‘sixth magnitude stars’ here

‘Andrew Minyard: Tiny Gay Disaster’ here

‘Do I Wanna Know?’, ‘Vintage Inspired’ and ‘all i want (is love that lasts)’ here

‘Surreal But Nice’ here

‘i think i'm falling, i'm falling for you’ here

‘The Art Of Speaking In Flower’ here

‘Not Another Highschool AU’ and ‘full offense but that is the stupidest thing’ here

‘always you’ here

‘this is me trying.’ here

‘wreck my plans’ and ‘Andrew Minyard's Diary’ here

‘Secrets & Santas’ here

‘not jealous’ here

‘do you like scary movies?’ here

‘Hold on to let go’ here

‘Free Cigarettes’ and ‘The New Normal’ here

‘venus as a boy’ (now complete) here

‘Life's a Beach’ here

‘i wouldn't leave you if you'd let me’ here

‘Light Me Up’ here

‘All I really wanna do is love you’ here

‘let the bells ring on a fool's holiday’ here

‘heaven and hell (were words to me)’ here

‘it suits you’ here

‘Just Another Typical Ranch AU’ here

‘falling’ here

Finding You by Willow_bird [Rated T, 16654 words, incomplete, last updated June 2021]

Andrew huffed in amusement and looked back down at the boy, nudging him with his shoe.

"Better luck next time," he offered, not insincerely.

"Fuck you," the boy shot back, still breathless from the hit. He looked right up at Andrew when he said it, too, expression tight with pain and rage and -- oh no.

Fuck he was pretty. Shit. Fuck. Shit fuck shit no. This wasn't fucking fair.

---

It's 'The Foxhole Court', from Andrew's POV, where everyone has daemons, and Andrew is a bit of a disaster gay.

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced abuse

splish splash by Ominous [Rated T, 7330 words, complete, 2021]

Andrew hates waterparks, so there’s no real reason he should be climbing up this hill to ride one of the poorly built waterslides on a scorching hot day.

Somewhere from above, he hears the shrill noise of a lifeguard whistle, and a shiver runs down his spine that has nothing to do with the water dripping off of him. His grip tightens around the inner tube he has slung over his shoulder, the sticky latex trying to become one with his sunburnt skin.

There just had to be a cute lifeguard…

the passenger by scribbleb_red [Rated T, 6520 words, complete, 2021]

He's back again.

The man with the scars in his eyes.

Andrew watches as he gets into the nearly empty carriage, all coiled muscle and too sharp gaze. He clocks Andrew quickly, mouth tightening into what could have been a smile or a grimace.

AKA: The Morning AU where there's a stranger on the same train as Andrew Minyard, crime correspondent for the NYT, and he's pretty sure that there's a story to unearth. He just doesn't know if he should tell it.

tw: implied/referenced torture

foul play by Stjosten [Rated T, 4207 words, complete, 2021]

Andrew's roommates play D&D. Neil is just a surprising side benefit.

Blue Eyes, Pipe Dreams by Shklance_Beef_Sandwich [Rated M, 18250 words, complete, Aftg Reverse Big Bang 2021]

Andrew doesn’t do crushes, never has, never will. What he does is the odd hookup when he’s feeling pent-up, preferably in a nightclub bathroom with as much anonymity as he can get.

So why is he so hung up on those blue eyes and that auburn hair he’s only been able to see from a distance? Why is he feeling almost desperate to be able to talk to this figure skating mystery man?

tw: implied/referenced abuse

NB: find art for this fic by @neptuneglowz here and here

so maybe tonight I'll be the libertine by foxyexy [Rated M, 10807 words, complete, Aftg Big Bang 2020]

Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard have been best friends since they were small. But attending college halfway across the country from each other has strained their relationship, and Andrew won’t take it anymore — as soon as term is over, they’re going on the road trip of a lifetime.

Andrew can absolutely handle spending the entire summer with Neil in the passenger’s seat, sharing hotel rooms and cigarettes and diner booths. Because he’s definitely not in love with him.

It’ll be fine.

tw: self harm, tw: vomit, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced csa, tw: scars, tw: anxiety

NB: find art for this fic by @n0ahdraws here

The Deep & Dying Breath of You by TheBashfulPoet [Rated M, 22874 words, complete, Aftg Reverse Big Bang 2019]

When he sees the ad, Andrew decides that he has nothing better to do so he might as well spend the summer in isolation. He thought it would be almost peaceful, no nagging boss or coworkers that don't understand personal space, just him his typewriter and miles of forest he was expected to keep from burning down. What he doesn't expect is the surly voice that floats over the radio and turns his world upside down. He doesn't expect to find himself waiting for another kind of fire instead (one that just may eat him alive if he's not careful).

tw: nightmares, tw: panic attacks, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced torture

NB: find art for this fic by @requiemofkings here

Like A Hazy Summer Morning by shadowdreams [Rated G, 7402 words, complete, 2019]

Andrew falls for a YouTuber. Neil falls for a guy in his local café.

That's the story.

Like a River by moonix [Rated T, 65259 words, complete, 2017]

Andrew was a statistical anomaly. He was both a Seer and a Squib, an unfortunate combination of genetic traits that still somehow got him into Hogwarts. He had both hands full babysitting Kevin Day, resident Quidditch prodigy, after the drama with Riko Moriyama in fifth year, and making sure his brother finished his last year of education after the death of their mother. What he did not need was another stray to take in – Neil Hatford, formerly Nathaniel Wesninski, prominent guest in Andrew's prophetic dreams with his blue, blue eyes and death omens flocking to him wherever he went. What he needed even less was to start pretending they were in a relationship, but then, Andrew never had been very interested in doing what was good for him.

tw: scars; tw: violence; tw: implied/referenced past abuse; tw: panic attacks; tw: homophobic language

[dancing-in-a-yellow-dress]

Trapped Little Angel (part 1)

Welcome to the first part of the first fanfic on this account.

Child!reader x the Avengers

Word count: 2900

Trigger warning: Imprisonment, nightmares, non graphic descriptions of violence and injuries, possible trigger for eating disorders

--

You were a 14-year-old orphan living alone in New York, since your family had died in the explosion that gave you your powers. Your powers were similar to Wanda’s (telekinesis and all that jazz). You got them when you were 7, but for whatever reason they hadn’t been active before that day.

It was a basic September day with all of its rain and fog and clouds. You were walking on the street when suddenly you blacked out and your powers exploded out of you destroying property and hurting people everywhere around you. The Avengers were called to action and they evacuated the block and when you’d cooled off a little they took you into custody and to the Avengers tower.

You had passed out and they didn`t really know what to do with you, so they laid you down on the couch and began a debate about the subject.

Tony believed firmly that you were dangerous to the team and the best thing for everyone would be to lock you up isolated and unstimulated to avoid new outbursts until a better option would be available. Steve backed Tony up to an extent, although he did believe the isolation to be unnecessary. Bruce didn’t really voice his opinion on confinement that much, instead focusing on the medical aspect of the situation.

Clint doesn’t really say much during the argument, before Tony raises the possibility of indefinite imprisonment in isolation. That is what finally gets to him, since you are just a kid and remind him of his own daughter. Wanda argues firmly against any form of forced imprisonment. In her opinion you needed medical attention, after which instead of locking you up the team should be focused on helping you control and develop your powers in a beneficial way.

Natasha is uncharacteristically quiet for the whole debate. Something about you had got to her and she found it hard to think of the situation objectively without a massive bias. Peter was on ‘your side’ for sure. To him you were a troubled kid who just happened to need some help. In a way he saw himself in you.

You start to regain consciousness about halfway through the argument. The Avengers are taken back at first, but when you are very confused and scared, Nat and Clint (who are the most ‘neutral’ participants) tell you what happened. When you have gotten the big picture you ask shakily: “How many people did I hurt? What’s the damage?” The others are hesitant to tell you, but Tony is highly pissed at you, so he takes his tablet and shows you some pics of the place where the accident happened. Wanda shoots him a death glare, but he continues and reads the statistics to you: “At this exact moment there are 9 people dead, 27 in critical condition and 56 with milder injuries. All because of your little stunt.” At this point you have pulled your knees to your chest and are struggling to breathe. Steve and Clint look at Tony like he has lost his mind and Nat tries to calm you down. You are repeating the same things over and over again: “I didn’t mean to- It’s all my fault… I don’t know how- What- I didn’t mean to…” Nat was approaching you, her hand reached out ready to stroke your back and pull you into a hug. She says: “We know. Everything will be alright, it’ll be alright. It wasn’t your fault, we’ll sort this out. It’s okay, you’re okay. We don’t blame you, but right now you need to calm down.” You flinch away from her, panic shining in your eyes: “No! Don’t touch me! I don’t want to hurt you. I can’t control it… I don’t understand- I didn’t mean to…” Suddenly you look desperately at Tony “You have to lock me up. I’m dangerous. I can’t be trusted. I have to be put away. Please”, you beg, surprising all of the other people in the room. Peter is about to say something, but Tony cuts him off.

You stand up and Clint shows you the way to a quite big cell. You step in and he shuts the door behind you. You sit on the floor in the corner and pull your knees to your chest. You just blankly stare at the wall. You noticed that there was a camera in corner of the room near the roof as you stepped inside, but you didn’t care. What did it matter. As you stayed on the floor the team was reheating the discussion whilst keeping an eye on the monitor that showed footage from your cell.

Wanda and Peter were shouting at Tony for locking you up in an isolation cell. Natasha and Clint were a bit calmer, but they were backing Wanda and Peter up. At some point Tony says: “You heard the kid. She wanted to be locked up. Even she thought it would be the best option”. And that sets Natasha off: “Yeah, after you had scared the poor thing on the verge of a panic attack. That wasn’t fair play. You drove her to that decision and you know it.” Then Peter fires: “Besides the whole ‘she decided herself’ excuse is bullshit. She’s a kid. SHE’S 14. I’m 17 and you don’t trust me to do anything yet, so how again is she any different?” That shuts Tony up.

In the end the team comes to the conclusion, that they will be monitoring you strictly and willing people will be allowed to go talk to you. All except Peter (just for the first few days) who is infuriated to no end by the decision.

The first person to come talk to you is Wanda. She comes and talks for a while, but you can’t make any sense of what she’s saying. After a while she leaves shutting the door behind her. Steve also comes to question you, and even though this time you understand what he is saying you can’t find the energy to answer him in you. Clint brings you something to eat and drink, but you don’t move a muscle to acknowledge the act. Time sort of looses its meaning to you as you sit on the floor and stare into nothing, alone with your thoughts, the same thoughts over and over and over again.

Nevertheless, you know some time has passed when Natasha comes through the door with another tray filled with food. She places it carefully on her untouched bed and sighs deeply before speaking: “You should really start eating on your own. It’s been two whole days and you haven’t taken a bite. I get that its hard, but you’ve got to try. Otherwise we’ll have no choice but to put a feeding tube down your throat and trust me kid, that does not feel good.” She gives you another look, then turns around and walks out. Slowly you straighten your legs on the floor.

You hadn’t really noticed how much your muscles were hurting for being in the same position for so long before someone pointed it out. You stretched your legs first and then stood up slowly. You went through your body, stretching every muscle one at a time and then sat down beside the bed to eat. You weren’t really hungry, but the threat of getting a feeding tube stuffed down your throat was enough to get you eating.

After you were done with the meal you went back to your corner and sat back down, leaving your legs laying on the floor instead of curling up to a tight bundle. After a few minutes there was a knock at the door and Wanda walked in. She picked the tray up and looked down at you, clearly assessing the situation before finally saying: ”Hey, I was wondering if you needed to use the bathroom.” You didn’t answer her but stood up and stepped timidly few steps forward so that she knew you’d be coming along. She guided you through the hallways and into a bathroom. “There is a towel on the counter and shampoo on a shelf in the shower. Take as long as you need. I’ll pick up some clean clothes for you and bring them here. Okay?” You didn’t say a word but nodded and opened the door to the bathroom. After half an hour you were back in your cell but feeling significantly cleaner and comfier.

Instead of sitting back in the corner on the floor you sat on your bed and crossed your legs. You didn’t know why, but you felt like it, so you started singing, first just humming quietly, then adding the words to the song. It was an old lullaby your mom had sang to you more than once. Some things just had a way of sticking with you.

`Hyvin hiljaa, hyvin hiljaa

nyt kuuluu keijujen äänet

Ne tanssivat taas koko yön laulaen

koko yön laulaen.

Hyvin hiljaa, hyvin hiljaa

taas syttyy tähtöset pienet

Ne oottavat taas läpi yön loistaen

läpi yön loistaen.

Hyvin hiljaa, hyvin hiljaa

nyt sammuu keijujen äänet

Ne liitävät taas ylös luo tähtien

ylös luo tähtien`

Then you sang it over again, this time in English

If your quiet, very quiet,

you can hear sound of the fairies

They’re dancing again through the night until day

through the night until day

Very quiet, almost silent

the stars are lighting the sky

they’re waiting again till the night fades away

till the night fades away

If you’re quiet, very quiet

you can hear sound the fairies

they race through the sky so they’ll be near the stars

so they’ll be near the stars

You sang the song a couple times over and finally you got to the last part you had made up on your own. You always ended it there, since you could never continue singing after that.

Hyvin hiljaa, hyvin hiljaa

ei kuulu keijujen äänet

Ne lähtivät taas minut yksin jättäen

minut yksin jättäen

Even if you’re very quiet

you won’t hear sound of the fairies

they flew up the sky leaving me alone behind

leaving me alone behind.

You broke down sobbing. Clint was sitting at the monitor, and he thought it’d be best not to disturb you, so you were left alone as you start humming another melody your mom taught you.

Joka ilta kun lamppu sammuu ja saapuu oikea yö Niin Nukku-Matti nousee ja ovehen hiljaa lyö On sillä uniset tossut ja niillä se sipsuttaa Se hiipii ovesta sisään ja hyppää kaapin taa

”I didn’t know she was finnish” Nastasha said to clint as she sat next to him with two cups of tea. “Finnish?” Clint asked as they listened to the beautiful melody coming from the lonely cell. Nat was quiet for a while before saying “Yeah. The language is absolutely bizarre.” They sat in silence for another while, until Clint said: “She sounds miserable” “Yeah, but who wouldn’t. I’m guessing she has no family, since no one has come asking for her.”

Ja pieni sateenvarjo on aivan kallellaan Ja sinistä unien kirjaa se kantaa kainalossaan Ja unien sinimaahan se lapset autolla vie Surrur, surrur ja sinne on sininen, uninen tie

Ja siellä on kultainen metsä, ja metsässä kultainen puu Ja unien sinilintu ja linnulla kultainen suu Ja se unien sinilintu se lapsia tuudittaa Se laulaa unisen laulun joka mielen uneen saa

Your mum never taught you that song in English. You had tried translating it, but it always turned out so peculiar you had eventually given up.

When you felt like you had cried enough you stopped with the finnish and started going through songs you had heard somewhere else, altering the lyrics as you went.

You hadn’t sung anything in weeks and now you just couldn’t stop. It felt good. You went over your favorites altering lyrics and making up new verses, not wanting the song to end. As you sang you thought about mum and home. In the outside world they were forbidden things, because they made it hard to focus on surviving. But here she had all the time in the world to think. After hours and hours she finally laid down on the mattress and drifted to sleep

Tony had just started his shift watching you through the monitor and you were having a nightmare. You were curled up in a ball and whimpered and muttered quietly, as tears ran down your face. You dug your nails into your back and started scratching leaving bloody red marks behind. Then you started screaming. The sound echoed through the halls, but Tony didn’t know what to do, so he ended up doing nothing, just staring at the screen paralyzed. It went on for a while, until you finally flinched so violently you woke up.

You were in a state of panic, but as you realized where you were it started to wear off. Little by little you started to feel the pain from the bloody scratch marks on your back and arms. You examined your injuries to the best of your abilities and then looked at the floor while talking sheepishly at the camera in the corner of the room: “If you don’t mind I’d like to have something to wrap these cuts with. I might also need some help with the ones in my back. Its not a big deal, but I don’t want them to get infected.”

The screaming had woken up Natasha and Steve who were now standing behind Tony, looking at the screen over his shoulders. Tony cleared his throat before turning around in his chair and facing the other two. They both had their arms crossed on their chest. Steve looked surprised as hell, but Natasha was quick to recover. She threw Tony an icy stare before saying: “Should we think the imprisonment over again, or is she still too dangerous for you to handle?” Tony raised his hands before saying: “Let’s think that over in the morning, when the whole team is up. Now, would you mind going to help her with the injuries?” Natasha threw Tony another dirty look, before grabbing the first aid kit and heading to your cell.

Nat came, and you laid on the bed on your stomach. She lifted your shirt, poured antiseptic solution on a cloth and warned you: “I’m sorry, but this is gonna hurt like a bitch.” She pressed the cloth gently on your back and you shrug. “It’s not that bad. You get used to pain as a homeless kid. Once I had to remove a bullet from my own shoulder.” There Nat saw an opportunity get little bit more information of you and continued the conversation: “Must be tough. I suppose you don’t have any family left?” “Yeah, mum and dad and Tom died… in an accident” you tensed up visibly. Nat continued unbothered but didn’t bring up the deaths again. “I heard you sing the other day. Didn’t know you were finnish.” “Oh, I’m not. My mom was.” “So, can you speak finnish or what?” “Nah, not anymore anyways. I used to, but I haven’t used it in a long time. Some things just stuck with me, like the songs, or silly pet names mum used to call us.” For some reason you felt really safe with Natasha. Her touch reminded you of home as she worked to clean your wounds and then wrap them with clean gauze. You knew it was silly, but it just felt so good to finally talk to someone, so you kept answering her as she continued asking questions. “Pet names, huh. What did she call you?” “She used to call me Lumikki. It’s the finnish for snow white. It’s cheesy as hell, I know but we lived in a little cottage in the woods, and I was obsessed with Disney.” Natasha smiled at you. “Do you remember anything else about your mum.” “She had the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard. She sounded like an angel. Sometimes I hear her in the wind.” You pause for a minute “And she was a dancer. She used to be a ballerina, but then she had us and her career ended. She never quit dancing though. Once in a while she’d put on her slippers and go through some old routine, like she had never stopped. She even taught me some basics.” Natasha was quiet for a moment. Then she cleared her throat and continued: “Did you have any siblings?” “Yeah”, you were quiet for a moment, not rushing to continue “One brother. His name was Tuomas, but we all called him Tom. Three years older than me. He was my best friend.” A tear fell down your cheek. Natasha was almost done with wrapping your back so she asked one more question. “How about your dad” You shrugged. “He was a hunter. Spent most of his time with Tom out in the forest when I stayed in with mum.” Nat packed the medical supplies back to the first aid kit and pulled your shirt down so that it covered your back. Then she helped you sit up and said: “I can’t promise anything yet, but we’re having another meeting with the team about your… condition and I believe you might get out of here.” She saw the unsure look you gave her. “Don’t worry” she said as she took your hand “Everything will be alright. I promise”

--

Sorry, I have absolutely no idea what is going on with the spacing, tried to fix it but it wont budge... Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter!

[audrawrites]

daylight - part four

the other three parts can be found in my masterlist! 

warnings: none 

WC : 2k ish 

Summary: after the moment you shared with Alex over the weekend, things are a bit tense on Monday. To make things worse, you’re reminded of a (not so old) love affair. 

The time between your night at the bar and now was mostly a blur, uneventful and mundane. Metnally you were preparing for a busy week of cases ahead, packing your go bag, and doing paperwork until your eyes were no longer able to focus on the words in front of you. 

Now it was monday, and you were stuck in morning traffic. This was absolutely the worst time of day for overthinking, there was nowhere to go and nothing to do but sit and let your mind wander while you waited in the slow crawl to work. Before you even formed a full thought your pulse was already racing in anticipation at what you knew would end up invading your mind. It was what you had been avoiding since the moment it happened. 

Of course you knew you’d have to face Alex again in the cold and sober daylight, but you hadn’t taken any time to prepare yourself. It was probably best to just wing it and not expect anything. 

Finally you arrive at the BAU headquarters with just a few minutes to spare before you’d be officially late. Everyone else was already there as you knew they would be, so you still felt like the kid walking into class late with everyone's eyes following you to your desk. 

“Morning,” Alex said before taking a sip out of a thermos plastered in union jack’s. 

“Morning…” you replied distractedly, at a sudden commotion across the bullpen and Penelope calling your name, waving you over excitedly. 

She was standing next to a giant wicker gift basket filled with British paraphernalia. 

“It's from Emily!!” you got close and ran your hands over the wicker, crinkling an edge of cellophane between your fingers while you peered into the contents of the basket. “There's a little something for everyone,” she continued, fishing out neatly packaged tea, a tin of cookies, and a card with Buckingham Palace on the front, handing them to you. 

“Thanks. She never mentioned sending anything,” you commented while studying the packaging and missing Emily greatly. 

“I think she wanted us to have a nice surprise waiting for us,” she took a step closer to whisper, “I know you miss her. We all do.” it sounded like there was more she wanted to say, but she refrained. 

You were about to reply when JJ and Derek came over to join in on the morning conversation, commenting on Emily’s kind gesture. Spencer would usually be hanging around with you guys but this morning he was absent… your eyes roved over the empty desks until they landed on yours and Alex's where Spencer was now perched, and he was timing her on the NYT crossword puzzle. 

“Looks like someone finally found a crossword buddy,” you commented, and everyone turned to watch them in unison. 

“Someone who can actually challenge him for once,” Derek remarked. 

“I’d like to see them play a game of chess together,” JJ added. 

Rossi came out of his office, passing Alex and Spence, dropping a “happy Monday, my nerds,” not even stopping to gauge a reaction. You were expecting him to announce a case, but he just wandered over to the kitchen to refill his coffee mug. 

“Seems like we’ll have a quiet morning,” you said. 

“Shhhh don’t jinx it!” Penelope whispered frantically. 

You all dispersed shortly after that to actually get a start on the work day. No cases just meant you had to face the mountain of paperwork on your desk, but at least you had some new tea to try while you did it. 

Firstly, though, you had to read the card Emily sent you. You didn't anticipate it being anything interesting or too revealing since there was potential for other eyes to see it. The card, which when you opened it, was the length of a letter, was dated from before you even chatted with her on the phone. You were burning with curiosity at what she said in here with her anxious, scrawling handwriting, that she couldn't say directly to you. 

Your heart was already racing, but you knew you had to keep yourself in check in a room full of profilers. 

Emily wasted no time. She didn't skirt around the edges of your clandestine encounter, and it hit you like a shot through the heart. 

You sighed deeply. 

From the moment you started at the BAU, Emily Prentiss was the apple of your eye, and the woman you loved with a burning passion. For years you didn't say anything, and for years she felt the same way. Both of you worked, practically lived , side by side every day, secretly drowning in the depths of a passion you didn't yet understand. 

When you were forced to face the mortality of the life of secret pining you’d created for yourself, things only got more intense between the two of you. Everything came together a few nights before she left, and you both knew it had to be a one and done. The passion was there for sure, but you couldn't be in a sustainable long term relationship with her. Trying to do so would only damage the friendship you forged over those years. The two of you just weren't good for each other in that way. 

That was okay for both of you. There was no real need to talk about it. What you two shared felt fragile like the wings of a butterfly, and was best kept locked away to preserve its beauty. The last thing you’d want is to look back on your fond memories with her and feel ill. It was beautiful, though. She was the first woman you felt such passion for, the first woman who showed you how truly vibrant life could be if you just accepted those certain parts of yourself. You figured you would always feel something for her. 

The talent you possess for what some would call suppressing, and what you called compartmentalizing, was unmatched. It was truly a bonus for this line of work, though you tried not to abuse your skills too much. Locking away any semblance of romantic feelings towards Emily in the deepest vaults of your mind had been your top priority. It was working, too, and there were plenty of distractions in your day to day life that kept your mind from sitting idle for too long. The biggest threat you faced was speaking with her on the phone, but your thoughts remained tame in the shadows at the edges of your mind. 

Now, sitting at your desk in front of everyone, you were forced to acknowledge what transpired that night. You took in her words with a sort of calmness that came with the numbness of shock. She wrote this letter to you with the pretext of airing all of her feelings, so that she may know some peace of mind. She wasn’t expecting anything from you, but figured she would not refrain from sharing her true feelings with you out of courtesy, in case there was any chance you changed your mind. 

“You ok?” the low, gravely tone of JJ snapped you back into reality. She was leaning on the edge of the desk, running a hand through her cascade of wavy blonde hair. 

“What? Yeah,” you chuckled, trying to play it cool and control your microexpressions. JJ’s eves flicked down to the letter you were holding, but she didn’t press any further. 

“Okay, well, I’ll let you get back to work. Don’t forget, I'm here if you need anything.” she stood up, placed an affectionate hand on your arm, before heading back over to her desk. 

It took a moment to re adjust to reality and acclimate to your surroundings. You tucked the postcard away in your desk drawer to be re-examined later. For now, you resumed your previous mode of compartmentalization, locking away these new findings. 

The box of tea on your desk was staring you down, so you opened it, inhaling the herbal scents, and fishing out the one with the highest caffeine content. While you waited for water to boil your eyes scanned the room, observing your fellow bau members in their lax, case free state. This was a rare sight. Derek appeared to be teasing Spence about something, probably a date. Alex was animatedly talking to JJ with a glowing smile and rosy cheeks… 

“What are you so happy about?” Penelope came up beside you and you could hear the smile in her voice when she spoke. 

“Nothing,” you chuckled, focusing your attention. You could tell she didn’t buy it, but she wasn’t gonna push you here. She’d wait until your next girls night when you were all tequila’d up. 

The day continued on with ease, spent between paperwork and easy conversation with everyone. Well, almost everyone. Alex was hard pressed to look in your direction, let alone speak to you. When she finally joined you back at your desks, you tried to get her to talk to you like she did with the others. She didn’t give you anything more than short and exasperated sounding responses, which hurt even more considering her passion for words. 

Getting frozen out by a woman you barely know affected you much more than you ever expected it would. For the rest of the day reading reports took twice as long as it should’ve, having to re-read passages because your mind kept wandering to what you did wrong. You tried your hardest to file your worries away until later, but you couldn’t, not with her sitting right there. 

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat when you felt a familiar sick feeling in your stomach start to develop. Snapshots of your weekend were playing in your mind like a film reel, over and over and over again. You could feel the ghost of her hands on your waist, the magnetic anticipation that was tangible in the air between you two in the restroom, worlds away from where you were with her now. 

It was just a drunken mistake. Manufactured affection brought on by one too many drinks. This is what you repeated to yourself for the rest of the day while you waited dutifully for the clock to strike six. 

The time finally came for everyone to head home and hopefully get some good quality time with their loved ones before the next case. Everyone left one by one, muttering their goodbyes to each other, leaving the bullpen empty except for Alex sitting across from you and Hotch in his office. It seemed that she was also trying to finish one last little bit of paperwork before calling it a night. 

The awkwardness between you two was almost painful. Trying to trudge through any more work days like this, especially on a case, would not be an easy feat. So, you made a split second decision before it was too late. 

“Alex,” you called after her, before she could press the button for the elevator. She turned to face you with her eyebrows raised in silent questioning. “We need to talk.” she looked defeated almost, but met you where you were standing in the middle of the elevator bay. 

“What would you like to talk about,” she sounded irritated, and her dismissal of you was making your blood boil. 

“ Alex,” you scoffed before continuing, “did I do something to upset you?” 

Something in her depression changed, but you didn’t know her well enough to know what she was feeling. “You… you didn’t do anything wrong.” 

“Because I thought you maybe liked me or something-”

“Whatever you think happened between us at the bar didn’t. It can’t happen.” you took a deep breath. So you weren't the only one who sensed something there that night. 

“Okay, so is that why you’ve been an ice queen today?” 

She smiled a little at that and nodded her head. “I’m sorry. I just needed to take a step back and clear my head.” 

“So.. we’re good?” 

“Yeah,” she extended her hand to you. “We’re good.” 

The two of you chatted mindlessly on the short elevator ride down to the parking garage. It was nice having the air cleared between the two of you, so you could move past this little speed bump and enjoy a strong friendship.