#everyone else thought it was carrot cake too

[wackarat]

cheesecak…

[kamil-a]

suffering from peter white empathy moment hdjckfkxjfj TO BE CLEAR he did this to himself it is very silly to go WHAAAAT you wont go into scary crime alley where you were recently almost assaulted?? so your love for hannibal is stronger than for me....i guess you'll make it in this world...so long unless we get another game....... bye.......

and she's like is your own home nice? do you have someone to return to? and hes like hahaha NOPE .

and like. ;___;

;_____;

[bunnys-kisses]

Hello!!! How are you?🫶🏻✨

First of all, I love your writing, you have a marvellous mind. Pls keep doing what you're doing, it's chef kiss 🤌🏻🩷

Secondly, I would like to make an order I can share and enjoy with Lando 😉 Can we have a carrot cake, a chocolate chip cookie and a custard tart with a mocha coffee and a double espresso shot?

We know the mix is a bit too much but we trust you. Thank you very much in advance. Xx ♥️

the bakery menu

feel free to order your own treats! as for this order i am happy to serve up something sweet! i really hope you like this, i am proud of it! i'm also surprised of the amount of lando norris everyone wants!

carrot cake ("swallow it. all of it.") + chocolate chip cookie ("you're beautiful when you smile, but you're the prettiest when my cock is in your throat") + custard tarts ("i've never done this before.") + mocha coffee (breeding kink) + espresso shot (dirty talking) served by lando norris (formula one)!

cw: smut/pwp, breeding kink, oral sex (femme receiving), dirty talk, engineer!reader, driver!lando, virgin!reader, oral sex (lando receives),

lando loved you. he really did, not only were you his favourite engineer, you were also his girlfriend. lando didn't want to mess it all up and going too fast. but after almost five months of dating, you two had never had sex.

not that lando really minded, he wasn't some horny dog who needed his dick wet all the time. he wanted to cherish and love you. but sometimes, he'd let his mind wander at thoughts of you.

a particular one that bounced around in his mind, a personal favourite was the one where he bred you. that was for when you weren't with the team at races, and it was just lando and his fist.

thoughts of you in his arms, his cock bullied into your sweet pussy. his filthy words in your ear. sweet promises that he was going to breed you nice and well. and anytime you tried to mention your career, he'd just kiss you quiet. promising that you could still be an engineer with a couple of norris kids.

the thought of that made his cock ache every time he thought about it. belly full of life that the could snuggle after a race, taking your kids to the park. being a proper family. it always sent him over the edge and left a huge mess in his boxers.

but before he could make sure you were all full of his cum, he'd needed to have his first time with you. it wouldn't be fair to get you pregnant on your first time!

it was the off-season and you were back home. you two didn't live together, but you were over often. often scolding your boyfriend for misuse of the oven or something else that would be considered silly. he'd just smile and smooth the lines in your face with kisses.

the break between seasons felt like the perfect chance to finally get intimate with you. there was no jet-lag or running around. there was no sleepless nights and high anxiety days. you two could rest and get familiar with one another.

he was watching you check the pasta in the pot to see if it was fully cooked yet. he licked his lips and crossed his arms before he asked, "love, do you even think about us getting.. closer?"

you looked over and chuckled, "lando, i think it's a little too soon for us to live together."

lando scratched the back of his neck and replied, "no, no.. not yet. i mean, if you're comfortable. maybe we could try... having sex?" he felt his blood pressure jump.

you put the wooden spoon down on the counter and looked to your boyfriend. your mouth was in an 'o' shape for a moment before you said, "oh! sex!"

lando laughed, "you forgot about sex? i mean... did you ever think about sex.. sex with us?" he knew you weren't asexual or something akin to it, he knew that you masturbated and what not. you just never were in a situation where you would've had sex. and lando didn't want to shove it onto you.

your face went hot, "i mean... of course! i was just worried about having sex during the season!" you scratched your neck nervously, "i was worried that you'd pull something and your performance on the track would be worse. or that a change in the routine before and after races would ruin your chances of a good season."

lando laughed, "oh my god, love. come here." he got closer to you and wrapped his arms around you. then kissed you on the top of your head.

you looked at him, "i'm sorry. i didn't realize! but yes! i would love to have sex with you! but it might take a while. i've never even given a blow job."

lando kissed you once more, "how about after dinner, we start with that? we have a few months to get a little.. closer."

you nodded eagerly, "of course! i'd love to!" you heard the water boil over out of the pot and onto the stove. you got out of your lover's arms to check on the food.

lando felt excited. how could he not. he was getting a chance to feel intimate with his lovely girlfriend. the excitement that coursed through him even made your lovely dinner taste better!

-

"is there anything you want to try before we start. anything i can do to make this more comfortable." he asked as he looked down at you. you were seated on the bed. you feet didn't touch the floor of the bedroom. it was cute.

you swallowed, "um... i, uh. well." you looked away, your cheeks burned.

lando cupped your face and looked down at you, "nothing is gonna scare me, honey." he smiled at you, "tell me."

you said, your gaze met with him, "i.. i like dirty talk. anytime i've read it somewhere in like a story.. i found it very hot. and i know you're... mouthy." you chuckled a little to make a joke.

"well then." he said, "i'll keep that in mind."

you said a little nervously, "i'm a little nervous, i've never done this before." you felt a thrill of excitement through your body as you watched lando let go of you and pull his cock out of his shorts.

"don't worry, love." he said, "i'll make sure you feel good as well."

you pressed your cheek against his abdomen, letting him take control. the sight of his cock stirred something in you. a need for you to do your best and make your boyfriend feel good. even if you didn't have the skills, you were eager to learn.

and who would be a better teacher than your loving boyfriend. you closed your eyes and let lando guide your head onto his cock. you kissed his length before you softly took it in your mouth.

lando hissed through his teeth, but when you looked at him nervously he gave you a thumbs up, "don't worry. all good."

you took more in your mouth and started on a steady pace. you felt your heart hammer in your chest. you really had never done this before but you didn't want the excitement to cause you to mess up.

"that's it. that's a good girl." he groaned, the praise made you rub your thighs together. you were just so adorable. he couldn't wait to explore every inch of your sweet body.

he had all of the off-season to make love to you. and if he was lucky maybe his breeding kink could show a bit of himself. that made his cock twitch in your mouth.

your eyes were closed and your hands were on his hips to steady yourself as you orally pleasured him. you weren't terrible, at least in lando's opinion.

"are you sure this is your first time doing this?" he asked softly. you looked up at him once more, eyes gleaming. you nodded and little and lando laughed, "hmm, i don't know. you're really good at this." the praise made your core throb and lando noticed. he held onto your hair a little tighter and moved you a little further down his cock, "don't worry, love. it doesn't bite." and laughed. his cheeks were pink from the rush in his body.

you whimpered as you continued. you kept an ear open for all the noises that lando was making. from his heavy breathing to the shudder through his body. you trusted him that if you were doing something wrong, he'd tell you.

"you're beautiful when you smile, but you're the prettiest when my cock is in your throat" he cooed at you, "i wonder what the rest of the team would feel if they saw you like this. i know some of them have thought about you, get a few drinks in 'em and they're talking about how they want to be the one to ruin your virginity." he laughed, "but i know i'll be the one to ruin them for you. you'll only want my cock."

you whimpered, your pussy was slick. this was hottest thing you've ever thought could happen. yeah, you've read erotic fiction and gotten a bit flustered. but this was something else. this sent a shock through you as you continued to pleasure him.

orgasm felt sharp in his mind. he softly guided you as the dirty talk tumbled out of his mouth. "i wonder if i could make you choke next time." he panted, "i wonder how good you could take me. i want all of you, love. i want to see all the ways i could make you cum. i want it all, and we got all of the off-season to see what makes you tick."

you whimpered.

"my pretty girl." he purred, it made your heart leap.

"lando." you said with a glaze in your eyes. your voice was muffled by the cock in your mouth and it was so painfully cute but also erotic that it sent lando over the edge.

his pretty girl, his little engineer with his cock stuffed in your throat. it couldn't get better than that. the words tumbled out of his mouth, "swallow it. all of it." and the look you gave made him easily cum down your throat. he almost got hard for a second time when he saw how dutifully you swallowed it all down.

"holy shit." he panted.

as you laid back on the bed to catch your breath. you knew the night wasn't over because lando was soon between your legs with your calves over his shoulders. it was only fair that he returned the favour.

after all, he learned something very important about his girlfriend. she was easy to get wet. <3

[deanbrainrotwritings]

—  CLOSER THAN THIS

SUMMARY :  part IV of gimme half. something quick. something hot. in between busy tasks. when everyone else has not arrived.

PAIRING : dean winchester x fem!reader

CHARACTERS : none

WARNINGS/TAGS : explicit(18+), fluff, p in v, clothed sex, against the wall

WORD COUNT : 2.2k

A/N : jimin song title. this fills the quickie square of my @jacklesversebingo card. I don’t even know what I’m doing 😋 but these can be read as standalone fics 😌 XXX

Dean made cute faces all the time. 

It was hard to resist smiling when she was around him. His jokes made her laugh, his faces made her laugh, even his laugh made her laugh, and the way he playfully sang along to the music from his playlist, the faces he pulled in concentration or as he tasted what he cooked made her smile. 

He was the embodiment for endearment. Those adorable dimples of his only made him more charming. She swooned an embarrassing amount of times in all those moments. 

She was delighted when he called her some time after noon and asked her to come over if she wasn’t busy to help him out with dinner. He spent most of the afternoon cooking and baking for his friends. It was one of the best times she’d spent with him, getting to know him like this, seeing in person as he serves others rather than peeking through the windows of her house to get to know him. 

It sounds creepier than it actually was, at least she thought so. She was a nosy neighbour. Oh, God, that’s horrible. To be fair, she was only nosy when it came to Dean—they were enemies. Were.

That phase was over. 

Sometimes she woke up in his bed, other times he woke up in hers. And then they’d make each other breakfast. And now they went on dates. And now they babysat his nephew when Sam and Eileen went out on dates—that brought up a lot of thoughts she didn’t have before. Kids. 

Seeing Dean like that with his nephew… Using a cute voice and singing him to sleep, messy feeding and messier baths, bedtime stories and playing pretend, soothing him when he cried and teaching him new things. 

She wondered if Dean felt the same, if the thoughts of fatherhood haunted him the way they haunted her when he fell asleep in her bed. Or when she woke up with the sun, to Dean’s sleeping face. Or when they were alone at home, cooking, watching movies, sharing stories, drinking… when they went on rides with no destination in mind, on picnics, or even just grocery shopping. Sometimes he’d keep her company as she worked on hobbies and she’d do the same for him, watching him fix anything broken, or tune up his car. 

She was too afraid to bring up that conversation. They were retired hunters. It’s part of why she refused to admit that she did want children. It’s like the choice was robbed from her and it hurt for so long, but it got easier to accept when she focused on hunting or her job as a professor. 

Besides, she had her cat. Close enough. 

When she went over to his place, she focused on helping Dean with chopping up whatever vegetables he needed to use, she washed them for him before using them, she brought the spices and herbs he needed, or the condiments that could be used, and cleaned up the dirty dishes after he was done using them. 

Now that they were finished, they sat at the table waiting for everything to finish simmering while talking about things to do after. Watching a movie was the obvious answer, which one to watch was the harder part. 

She believed it was Jody, Donna, Claire, Kaia, Alex, and Patience that were coming over. She met them at Sam’s wedding, barely. The only one who could truly answer that question was Dean, but now he was pouty because he wasn’t sure what they’d want to watch, but maybe he could ask them when they came. 

He picked up some of the excess shredded carrots for the carrot cake he made for those who didn’t want pie, and dropped them into his mouth. He chewed, the carrots barely touched his taste buds, and he grimaced, but swallowed it anyway.

“Tastes better in the cake,” he grunted, getting up for a beer. She giggled and shook her head at him. “Want one?” He asked from the fridge, getting his open, but she shook her head, so he sat back down with her. 

“So… you’re just good at everything?” She asked, scooting closer when he put his hand on her thigh and squeezed. He chuckled, his cheeks reddening. He ahh-ed after taking a sip of the cool beer and thought for a while. 

“I’m not good at… designing clothes?” He offered bashfully, pushing the beer far away from him. She stared at it subtly then glanced up at him curiously. 

“No, not like that,” she smiled softly, “you fixed my electrical outlet…” she reminded him, leaning forward to tap his plump lip. His mouth dropped open slightly and he exhaled, rolling his eyes shyly. She dropped her hand onto the table and thoughtlessly traced patterns on the surface, watching him get embarrassed. 

“It was… nothing,” he sniffled, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. He leaned back in the chair and took the bottle of beer from the table again, playing with it to avoid her gaze. 

“You’re very… John Wick,” she sighed, stretching her arms upward. He hummed softly, leaning back forward with his arms on the table, staring at her with interest. “It’s hot,” she whispered quietly, her eyes holding affection and longing. 

“Yeah?” He murmured, staring at her like she was all that was there. It made her turn pink self-consciously, but she continued to gaze into his eyes. She saw his hand move and then it was over hers, warm and comforting. 

“Mmm, yes,” she replied quietly. 

Being around Dean was like being surrounded by a gas leak, and one kiss, one touch, one right word, acted like the spark that ignited everything. The fire robbed her of breath and stripped her skin away so she was bare and vulnerable to him. 

Dean leaned forward, practically lunging to meet her lips, but the timer he set earlier went off loudly at the centre of the table, and made them jump away. They both laughed awkwardly, she extended her hand to turn it off while Dean turned the stove off. 

“Wanna taste?” He asked, hummed softly as he took a tiny sip from the metal mixing spoon, and waited for her when she nodded. She stood before him, waiting and watching him blow air against the hot lentil soup in the spoon to cool it down. 

She bit her lip and smiled, then he cupped his hand two inches beneath the spoon so it wouldn’t drip onto the floor. She opened her mouth and took the delicious, warm soup into her mouth, savouring it with a pleased hum, her eyes full of surprise and satisfaction. Dean pulled back a little too early, causing some soup to dribble down from the corner of her lip due to the awkward position they were in. 

“Oh, my god,” she moaned, too distracted by the flavour. She only looked at Dean while he set the spoon down on the counter, indifferent about the puddle it created beneath. He grabbed her chin and dipped down to kiss the small trail of soup away, his warm tongue gently swiping up and down. Her breath hitched and her face burned hotter with embarrassment. 

The embarrassment didn’t last and was replaced by a flush of arousal across every inch of her skin. Dean seared her lips with a hard, demanding kiss that made her breathless and numbed her mind of any thoughts. 

He gently manoeuvred her across the kitchen, breaking apart from the kiss to breathe before returning to each other’s lips. She made quick work of the white apron around his waist, gasping at the unexpected bump of her back against the wall. 

Dean took the opportunity to slip his tongue into her mouth and trailed his hands slowly down her sides, his palms pressing against her curves firmly. He only removed his hands from the short baby-blue dress when she shoved the thick green flannel off his shoulders, watching him throw it over onto the nearest counter in the kitchen. 

Dean grabbed her hips to guide her into the hallway, digging his fingers into the tight dress to create dips into her flesh. She smoothed her hands down his chest and hooked her fingers over his leather belt, tugging him to her so she was pressed into the wall once more. 

Dean was short of breath, his cheeks and ears becoming scarlet red when she started to undo his belt, staring into his eyes daringly. He slid his hands down her thighs, and sneaked them up under the mini-dress. The soft cotton rode up with his hands, his fingers hooking against the sides of satin, beige panties, swiftly pulling down so they dropped down around her ankles. 

“Fuck, it’s like your horny all the time,” she whispered with a breathy laugh, wasting no time in tugging his jeans and boxers down. Her hand instantly circled around the base of his erect cock to squeeze tantalisingly.

“It’s not me being horny all the time, it’s that you’re always so fucking sexy, I can’t resist,” Dean quipped, dropping down to kiss her pushed up breast over the square neck of her dress. 

Dean bent his knees, and stretched his hands down to press his fingers against the back of her thighs, urging her silently to jump so he could lift her up. When she did, she freed his dick, and placed her arms over his shoulders, and her legs around his waist, kissing him once more. Dean ground his hips against her, his hard cock rubbing against her leaking pussy. 

“Please,” she whined, squirming when his cock brushed over her clit repeatedly. “They’re gonna be here in less than thirty minutes, Dean,” she reminded him. He chuckled huskily, but unhurriedly guided his cock to her needy, wet cunt, and pushed in at a tormenting pace.

He could feel her gushing around him, hot and wet. Dean moaned, reaching behind her arched back for the zipper of her dress, lowering it down halfway. He bounced her on his cock once with a smirk on his face, and lowered the straps of her dress off her shoulders, slid his fingers across the neck of it to tug downwards until her breasts spilled out from the tight material. 

Dean instantly began to fuck her into the wall, his thrusts harsh and desperate, wasting no time in building up her orgasm. His fingers scraped up her thighs to tighten around her hips, blunt nails digging into her delicate skin. 

Had the flowery drywall been cheap or damaged, she thought he’d break it down with the force of his thrust. He pounded into her, groaning out with pleasure into her ear before kissing and biting her throat, lovingly licking the red marks he left behind. 

Her clit throbbed with each slap of his pelvic bone against her, her cunt felt hot and full stuffed with his cock, and her muscles were somehow tense and mushy all at once. Lust overcome her will, drawing loud noises of pleasure from her lip, mewls and whimpers of his name that made him fuck her faster and harder.

“Say my name, baby… I love when you say it,” Dean panted against her lips, feeling her pussy clenched tightly around his throbbing cock. With a whine she brought him closer with both her legs and arms, the knot in her belly becoming tighter and tighter.

She could barely speak as every rough thrust stole the oxygen from her lungs. She managed a gasp of his name, brought her hands down between their connected bodies to ghost her fingers beneath his shirt. Her hands slipped upwards and curled around to his back, her manicured nails digging into muscular shoulders, causing him to moan. 

Every thrust drove Dean’s cock into the deepest depths of her vagina, brushing against sweet spots she forgot she had residing against the velvety, ridged walls of her pussy. She clenched around his pulsing cock, her nails scratching down the skin of his back, the knot becoming impossibly tight before she finally let go. Pleasure ran through her like electricity through a circuit, blinding her to the point of seeing an entire galaxy behind tightly shut eyes.

She screamed his name, the way he swore he’d make her scream the first night they were together. He slowed the thrust of his hips as he climaxed almost immediately after she reached hers, his cum spilling into her. Then he started up again, fucking her through her orgasm, until he softened inside her, his cum dripping around them. 

“I think that’s the fastest I’ve made you cum,” he laughed, his voice gravelly. She laughed with him, grateful for the slowness in the way he pulled himself from her, and lowered her weak legs to the wooden floors. 

“I need to pee,” she whispered, leaning against the wall with a smile while he fixed her dress, kissing and licking her nipples until they were tight before covering her back up, and zipping up the dress. 

“Okay, sweetheart. I’ll get your underwear and meet you there,” he smiled softly and kissed her forehead lovingly before she left, pulling his jeans and boxers back up as he observed her very sexy behind.

She turned around with a knowing grin on her flushed face, sending a wink in his direction before she made a turn towards where the bathroom was. 

“I’m fucking you slower tonight!” He shouted after her. 

“Still rough, yeah!?” She called out teasingly, her voice echoing louder now that she was in the bathroom.

➥ my you

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[fuck-customers]

🎂(8/21/23) This will be a bit long but now that I don't work at the bakery anymore I felt like sharing the list of things that customer's did that genuinely irked me amongst other feelings:

Things customers do or say at work that make me want to commit a war crime (+ my thoughts I can't say outloud):

"I want to get one of everything. 🤪" (Fun fact, 1 of everything is about $100)

"I'm shouldn't even be in here right now." (Then why are you???)

"I'm breaking my diet for this." (I don't care.)

I shouldn't be eating this I'm diabetic." (I have family that's diabetic. Please actually take care of yourself. 😐)

Does __ count for the B5G1F?" (No, it's actually only the vanilla cake squares. /s)

"Can I have one of that and one of that?" (The name. Is on the display case. SAY THE GOD DAMN NAME.)

"Are yall still open?" (You were able to open the door weren't you? You were able to step inside…weren't you??)

"Wow I got here just in time huh?"

(Yeah. You did. Now hurry the fuck up.)

after paying for the things they've already wanted "Can I actually get _ too?" (I can't really tell you no but holy shit why did you just now think of this?)

after paying for their things they proceed to look at all the merchandise and find something else "I'm gonna get this too." (Of course you are. 😐)

points at the devil's food cake, which is clearly labeled "Is this a brownie?" (Does it look??? Like a brownie??? If you move to your left about 4 feet you'll see actual brownies.)

"Can I get a devils food cake square?" "With which icing?" "…what do you mean?" "We have 3 different icing flavors for the devils food cake. Which icing?" "Oh. Chocolate. :)" (Fuckin- you can clearly see that we have 3 different icing flavors on display why is this so hard.)

"I don't get how you can work in here." (I need a paycheck and I get a good discount.

Also after a while you get bored of all the sugar.)

"I wouldn't be able to work in here. I'd eat everything. Haha" (Haha, yeah, I bet you would. 🙄)

literally anyone who comes in reeking of weed (…can you don't though? Idec that you smoke but why are you coming in when it's so strong???)

"Can I get a pint/quart of this flavor of ice cream?" (…why. I hate making pints and quarts its stupid and if the ice-cream is super frozen it's an actual pain in the ass.)

any family of 5+ that comes in all wanting ice cream (Please go away.)

"Can I get the pieces that have a lot of icing?" (Not really, cause the baker spread it pretty thin.)

*grown adult gets pouty when they realize that the cake squares I gave them had a

thinner layer of icing than the display* (Much like when you were a kid, pouting doesn't help. Do you want the cake or not?)

someone asks how good a certain item is I generally say it's pretty/really good. "Oh, its just pretty good?" (Yeah, cause I'm not a huge fan of that item. But you might like it cause, you know, different taste.)

Literally anyone who doesn't know the pick up name for a cake, or any details about the cake.

Wanting a fondant cake with a 24 hour notice and getting upset when we can't do it (fondant takes a least 2 days to dry)

People who forget which store they placed their order at. (We only have 2 locations????)

People who don't understand that we close early on Sundays.

People who leave the store reeking of weed. Like, the smell stays for like 5 minutes.

People who come in for a specific flavor that

we've never made. And get upset that we dont/wont/can't make it.

Everyone who doesn't understand that pumpkin spice and carrot cake are seasonal flavors that replace each other during the year. (And no. We can't just make you a carrot cake cake during pumpkin spice season because we physically don't have the ingredients.)

Everyone who doesn't understand the big 5 get 1 free deal.

People who try to open the door an hour before we open or an hour before we close and look visibly upset when they see me not move to let them in like we arent???? Open???

People who don't even try to open the door at our smaller store and think we're closed when we are open. (And people are often inside.)

People who try to hold a conversation for way too long

People who don't take an extra 2 minutes to look for what they want before asking me

where it is only for it to be a foot to their left.

People who dawdle at closing time.

People who leave their phone/cask/card in their car and have to run out to get it. They normally don't notice until their rung up.

People who try to break a $100 bill within the first hour of being open then get surprised when we don't have enough change to do that.

One of the worst interactions I had was in the bakery. This lady asked me if the strawberry cheesecake was good. I said "if you like strawberry it is." I guess that offended her somehow and she made it her mission to see my try a piece so I can tell her if it's good.

The problem with her plan is I'm allergic to strawberries. She was not having any of my "lies" and found anyone and everyone one and told them I am a horrible worker because I refused to "accommodate her request." She eventually ran into the only douche canoe manager we had at the time and got him to start insisting I try a bite to make her happy. I ended up just walking out on the rest of the shift and he tried to write me up. HR forced him to drop it when I threatened to sue.

-Rodney

[verdemoun]

for their birthdays in modern au, i can see arthur sitting at home and just maybe ordering food, watching a movie and just being with the people he loves. and then i can see lenny going completely all out for his birthday, both him and sean demolishing their bank accounts only to check social media and see they are trending in the morning after other people filmed them on their night out

birthdays are something so wildly different in modern era i imagine most of the gang don't even know their own birthdates.

hosea has always celebrated arthur's birthday and he hates it because it's not actually his birthday (he doesn't know when his birthday is) and being the center of attention is his personal hell. but hosea always gets a small cake and insists on celebrating his 'birthday' as the day they picked him off the streets and he officially became a van der linde.

bessie being met with a room of blank stares as she went to start singing happy birthday because NONE of the gang have heard it. it is a modern concept (well 1924 but well past all the gang's time) she forgot she picked it up in modern era

also the concept of having cake on someone's birthday was still mostly a class thing a lot of them wouldn't have experienced. or candles on a birthday cake. the traditions might have been around but the VDLs just weren't in the position to celebrate birthdays.

lenny was the only one who knew his birthday without a doubt because his parents always bought him a gift toy or trinket on his birthday. july baby

everyone else had to make one up as bessie was helping them forge modern identities. kieran picked january 1st because horse birthday.

sean chose a date in november because he remembers his da always complaining that sean was born just before an unusually cold winter, like his already bright orange hair had sucked the warm from the hearth before he was born. darragh also did not know sean's actual birthdate because he was born in an unwed mother's home.

hosea decided to make his birthday his and bessie's anniversary because that's a date he'd never forget. ironically bessie had the same thought a decade earlier so it is a very big day for them with their faux birthdays and actual anniversary on top.

all of them were very weirded out by the idea of cake and candles and singing creepy birthday song but come around to the idea.

kieran always goes on a trail ride on his birthday so most of the time he's like fidgeting at the door ready to sprint to the car before they get out of bed and takes carrots to wish all the trail ride horses happy birthday too.

lenny goes out of his way to make sure he is working/studying on the day of his birthday to avoid celebrations but does enjoy the nice sit down dinner they have at local restaurant.

the second sean realized most bars do a free drink/shot on your birthday he was sold and has to relive birthday memories through reels after bar hopping for free drinks.

arthur always tries to go camping just before his birthday to avoid it but second he's back in town hosea will corner him with a candle and cupcake and say something sentimental about arthur being one of the best things to happen to him and arthur always gets that soft 'i was gonna say you're like a son to me but you're more than that' smile on his face

[klaus-littlestwolf]

Random Thought: Bucky Barnes

Chef!Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes as a Chef

He is trying to get used to real food again after years of supplements and IVs or being force fed through a tube to keep him going as the Winter Soldier. He discovers after watching cooking videos online that the act of cooking is actually quite calming for him. He quickly learns what he likes and what he doesn’t, willing to try almost anything just to see if he enjoys something new.

Bucky loves sweet things! Just about any fruits except honeydew and cantaloupe, his favorite is plums! He’s also a big fan of grapes (green, not red) and peaches. Bananas and apples he can take or leave, and he loves watermelon.

He’s not a huge fan of sour things. He can handle spicy foods to a very high level without getting sick (he ate a ghost pepper by accident once) though he is picky about what spicy things he likes and he loves jalapeños.

He can chop vegetables faster than anyone else in the kitchen so when they needs things chopped in bulk Bucky just gets a cutting board and chops cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes and lettuce for 20 minutes and they’re set all day.

He can pick pans and trays up out of the oven without an oven mit with his left hand. Also, thanks to employees needing to wear gloves in the kitchen he can use the metal hand in front everyone. If after hours or before opening, anyone ever asks why he wears the gloves while not handling food he tells them he had an accident in the kitchen and got severely burned so no one ever minds that he never takes the glove off of his left hand.

He exclusively works in the kitchen so he rarely has to interact with anyone other than the other Chefs. He also has a fantastic memory, and never once gets an order wrong.

He makes friends with the other chefs and they share recipes, and one of them gets Bucky into baking as well. After work every day he will make himself something for dinner, take it home and set it on the counter. He’ll mix whatever it is that he’s trying next and put it into the oven before eating his dinner. Bucky loves brownies and he’s gotten good at making cake, just trying to make a 2 tier cake for the first time and it actually turned out pretty good. His absolute favorite though is banana bread, it is fantastic and he makes at least one, usually 2 every week so that he can have some for breakfast before he runs out the door every morning.

Bucky is people’s worst nightmare if he ever sees a waitress cry. The waitresses are all very nice to Bucky, and only one of them seems to be that way only because they think he’s attractive, he has a soft spot for them. Especially since they deal with the customers so he doesn’t have to, he feels for them knowing how cruel humans can be, even about the dumbest things. But if a customer takes it too far, if someone makes it personal, insulting or bitching at a waitress, Bucky will leave the kitchen. Everyone who works there knows Bucky leaving the kitchen is always a bad thing. He comes in the back door and leaves through the back door, there’s also an employee bathroom so he never has to enter the dining room, so when he does something is very wrong. Bucky is an intimidatingly large man, though everyone in the restaurant knows he’s basically a Pit bull puppy, sweet, gentle, loving and misunderstood for the way he looks. (Bucky Barnes really is exactly like a Pit bull! Only mean because people made him that way, always putting his trust in humans again after being fucked over and is the most kind hearted thing you’ve ever met in your life. Bucky Barnes is a Pitty!)

Bucky will remove all the plates from their tables and dump them into the trash right in front of you, and if he has to actually speak no one will get a word in edgewise. His voice is loud and deep, it commands attention and most grown men wouldn’t have the balls to snap back at him and the ones that try live to regret it. Bucky is a pro at getting people to swing first, as long as they do he is legally allowed to toss you out of the restaurant and he is more than happy to do it. He would never hit a women, however he will ensure she can’t swing at him again before carrying her out of the building, and for any man, (though there have only been 2 who are courageous enough to hit Bucky) they learn quickly that that’s stupid. One hit and they’re on the floor, one of the men was so dizzy he actually had to crawl out of the restaurant.

Bucky as a chef would be fantastic. Plus, I dare you to tell me that Bucky Barnes with his hair in a little bun while he cooks isn’t the cutest thing you’ve ever thought about in your life!

He can cook for me any day🥵🥵

Bucky Barnes Masterlist

Random Thoughts

[thelovelybitten]

random loonatics unleashed hcs bc I like childhood comfort show binging

only elites watched loonatics unleashed—so for the ATOM SIZED community who still gaf abt this gem here’s some random hcs I thought of

ACE BUNNY

[+] confident, determined, loving

[-] stubborn, cynical, impulsive

since he’s like. the most heroic MF known to acmetropolis, overconfidence is his thing. sometimes it goes too far and people have to smack some sense into him (lexi & tech, most likely) and y’all thought duck was cocky… ace is cocky and smart vs duck is cocky and dumb.

i imagine he has some sort of cooling eye drops he puts in after battles or over usage of his laser vision.

may wear glasses if needed.

he defo has underlying anxiety about his leader position since he’s basically in charge of the universe and his teammates he considers his family. (he confides in lexi with this eventually)

on a similar note, since he feels the pressure of being the leader, he suppresses his emotions all the time until lexi finds out and they teach each other to heal :’)))))

as much as he and duck annoy the fuck out of each other, they complement each other in the sense that ace needs comedic relief and duck supplies it (bratty ass little brother things)

anime STANNNN. anything that’s got good lore—He and Tech love sword art online. they hook in rev and slam in the second season. he and slam like attack on titan FOR SURE.

duck gives ace social media tips (because ace loves the attention but doesn’t know SHIT ABT creating a following)

japanese culture fascinates him, so he implements traditions and holidays into the loonatics' activities.

stubborn as fuck, it’s his way or the highway. since zadavia has always put him in charge, it's hard for him not to boss people around when he's unable to help. (as seen in s1 ep6)

since in the show it’s hinted all the loonatics are in university, I have ace being the second oldest child. he’s a natural-born leader, but still can’t take certain things seriously. tech is a good influence on him.

LEXI BUNNY

[+] sweet, empathetic, fiesty

[-] emotional, hot-headed, judgemental

she wears noise-cancelling headphones all the time if not needed by others. the absolute peace and quiet she needs to stay sane, tbh

the amount of radio traffic and minds around her causes headaches and migraines—but also some paranoia and slight insanity since she can’t take all of these mind voices all at once. she receives medicine after years of putting it off/testing due to her super powered dna

^^ tech is the one who finds her crying and screaming and he takes care of her until she tells everyone else.

also to touch on that, tech creates wrist bands that lexi can put on. they are supposed to cancel any brain waves or mind reading for a certain amount of time (but not forever, as she is super powered and it’s still a wip for him). (she also needs her powers to protect planet blanc)

actually hates carrots of any sort (minus carrot cake, she would die w/o it) ace thinks she’s crazy.

“can you read this person’s mind” is her biggest gripe and she hates when anyone asks her to do so

due to her upbringing, she hates mean girls and anyone who isn’t a girls girl gets to have a not so nice convo with her.

she’s very social savvy and is always in the newest trends, she hates how self conscious she is but funnily enough she and duck relate to one another and do have shopping sprees and Amazon hauls for therapy 😭

she’d like tiktok but rarely post lol, and when she does her social media pops off

feminist. "oh girls can't be heroes" "girls shouldn't be doing a man's job" SHUT UR TRAP. she will prove u wrong in 1000 different ways.

most popular of the loonatics—she’s the only female.

her age hc I have is she’s third oldest. which kinda leans into my duck/lexi hcs but that’s in another post

TECH E COYOTE

[+] intelligent, punctual, organized

[-] uptight, perfectionist, egotistical

perfectionist syndrome we LOVE HER

he’s so father type (big brother to all of the loonatics, everyone relies on him imo) Ace is the leader, but Tech is the dad 🤪

since he and mallory (mastermind’s) huge falling out, he has a people pleasing complex. this is because he feels guilty about putting her in jail as she is his protégée but knowing what he did was for the best makes him uneasy. so not only does everything have to be perfect, he has a hard time saying no to prevent conflict.

that being said, when it comes to danger and safety he’s gonna put his foot down.

he absolutely loves tinkering with rev. the two of them share one braincell, though. call them thing one and thing two. they’re smart. but not together 😅

while tech likes…well…technology, I feel like he’d also like forensics too. And watching crime shows with Ace and Rev.

he also has a bit of an ego. mostly bc he’s the creator and manager of all the technology in blanc. (And the universe, maybe. at least blanc and acmetropolis.)

has some sort of side gig going on for sponsorships. i hc that he loves to help create new technology, but he'd also like to provide said ideas to companies, kingdoms, etc. usually has the loonatics branding on it.

when his powers upgraded, he had a bit of trouble controlling it to the point where their new HQ had electrical issues for a month. yay metal but also oopsies I can create electrical currents and it’s a lot

the idea of him being immortal due to his regeneration abilities scares him because his friends will eventually die off and he will remain on his own :( (if i had to think about this, so do u.)

very protective of his stuff, and his family. this is not debatable.

he tries to hide itttt but he loves kids. he likes to surprise them with things he makes and teaches them how to build objects (with lego, of course. ain't no way is he letting any cheeto-dusted fingers come in contact with his shit.)

he’s the oldest loonatic NO QUESTION.

REV RUNNER

[+] energetic, comedic, caring

[-] oblivious, childish, sporadic

he’s so baby boy. a child. I love him so.

adhd brain on TOP

fears rejection, but works on it with lexi helping him out

I think he’d also play league with lexi and ace.

he loves running around fast, obviously but he also likes to stop and enjoy views when he can. (Defo uses the wormholes to escape to sunny places.)

definitely has lists to keep himself organized (and slam, which he is blessed for)

likes mechanical machinery and modifications (hates detailing though, fuck that)

recites the entire bee movie script to tech to annoy him

relies on zadavia for advice frequently. she’s a mother to him and she gives him hugs :))))

knows the best spots in the universe for anything ever, (thanks internal gps)

may the lord bless him bc he loves his brother so so so much that he'd do anything for him. rip is always welcome at hq and they play games/invent shit together :)

would pull pranks on all of the loonatics and he’d get away with it (but duck sees right through him—helps him anyways) since it's shown in season 1, episode 6 that ace and rev like to watch sports/attend games, they'd love other ones that are hockey, basketball and football-oriented. (since this is the future and all, the sport they play in this episode is based on soccer anyway) duck is also part of this too.

the metabolism popped off this man can EAT. since he's already burning it off. He's unlike slam though—he eats at a regular speed due to conversation-making.

youngest loonatic.

SLAM TASMANIAN

[+] strong, resilient, comforting

[+] aggressive, uncontrolled, moody

has a hard time with expressing himself due to the language barrier b/w him and the civilians.

good news tho, rev and duck help him to learn english :DDD they get him to read a ton of things (rev with different books while duck just shows him magazines with him as the street model LMFAO, also trends and stuff.)

has an action figure collection that if touched, a tornado will destroy your room. (he had them before the meteor hit, as a coping mechanism from all the fighting he did)

obvi fave food is pizza, specifically meat lovers

gets into origami to control his mind. lexi loves doing this w him :)

tech and slam love to do weapon tests together bc slam is BEEFY and withstands more injury than people think.

ace and slam train together the most. it helps both of them with tiny/large targets.

desperately wants a cat, a kitten, something cat related… but ace says no all the time bc it serves “as a distraction” from their job (ace is delulu ignore him)

a chef. amazing in the kitchen. cooks all the food for the house. a WHOLESOME MAN. watches the food network LMAO

gives the best hugs.

VERY BROTHER BEAR VIBES, he'll tell someone straight up to NOT FUCK W HIS FAMILY. just DON'T.

third youngest loonatic but acts older

DANGER DUCK

[+] loyal, self-aware, amusing

[-] arrogant, overbearing, hypocritical

u know this man is one of the ✨g w o r l s ✨

he attends drag shows with rev and lexi (DID I STUTTER ??? I think not.)

he doesn’t give a FUCK this man will do what he wants, when he wants, for as long as he wants. (until ace or zadavia gives him shit, whoever comes first) attention-seeker, but rightfully so as he is very much overshadowed by all of his teammates, when in reality he is the strongest and most deadly loonatic. i mean think abt it. he has three powers. the most out of all the loonatics. ace has laser vision. lexi has telepathy. tech can manipulate metallic objects and regenerate. rev has super speed and is a human gps. slam can create storms/tornados. DUCK HAS THE POWER TO CREATE HOT LAVA ORBS (EGGS), MANIPULATE WATER, AND TELEPORT. u see the vision???

it also doesn't help when zadavia is always shitting on him for his character. in her defense, he is a superhero and should be a good influence and in a professional manner, when in his defense, he should at least be praised and acknowledged for the work he puts in...js.

TAKES HIS TRAINING SERIOUSLY EVEN IF HE USES IT AS A VIDEO GAME SIM— HE'S ON IT IN SECONDS.

he does get a bit depressed abt the whole overshadowing thing sometimes. but he's so cocky that he hypes himself up and forgets it ever happened.

HIS APPEARANCE IS EVERYTHING TO HIM, which is why he and lexi hang out a lot when lexi is in need of a break. THEY LOVE THE SALON.

he helps the men eventually with tinder profiles so they can get out there and find romance and shit (but not lexi, since she knows she can get whoever she wants) he's pretty successful at it too.

BOARD GAME CHAMPION. BACK-TO-BACK MAY I ADD. Slam hates it bc he almost clutches the win but duck suddenly has a trick up his sleeve then BAAM. winner winner pizza dinner. his favourite board game is monopoly. (for obvious reasons, mans' needs to be able to manage his money for future investments.)

if he could be on a version of america's next top model, he would.

might be a sarcastic asshole, but does deeply care about his family, and other beings for that matter ( I mean, s2 ep12 ANYONE ??) tweetums was his everything that WAS HIS SON.

trolls people on club penguin with rev, don't ask, I just know.

blogger typa beat. is the social media editor and influencer for the team.

second youngest, but acts like the youngest LMAO

aaaaand that's it for now, i will make separate hc posts for pairings (platonic and romantic) and obvs the loonatics in general, so stay tuned. :)

if u read this far u THE GOAT >:D

[avatarrecom]

Cake doesn't ask silly questions, cake understands

Pairing: Poly!Recoms x Human!Reader

Warnings: None

Word count: 1641

A/N: I changed the plot al little bit, since I couldn't think of a good reason as to why a dessert baker would be on Pandora. I hope you like it!

_____________________________________________________________

Being sent to another planet isn't always easy as there isn't much to do outside of work. I mean sure, there's a bar on the base, but since it's mainly frequented by men who don't know when to shut up, you steer clear of it.

Other than that, there isn't much to do on the base in your spare time. And it's not like you can go off base, not on a planet where everything is three times the size of humans and probably wants to kill you.

So, you've had to find a hobby for yourself. You tried drawing, but all your work looked like it was done by a four-year-old. You tried to read, but after a few minutes the letters started to float, giving you a headache. You tried yoga, but you didn't have the patience for it and you couldn't sit still. Your partners went crazy with your own restlessness, but unfortunately they couldn't think of anything else either.

You were hanging out with your partners in their designated quarters. That sometimes proves to be a challenge, since they are Recoms, which means that they themselves, and everything in their rooms, are three times as big as you are. It is already a challenge to get on the seat of the sofa. Your partners have helpfully offered to lift you or arrange a small ladder for you, you have cut off all their suggestions with a look that makes a thanator quiver.

After a few minutes of struggling, while your partners watched in amusement, you finally managed to get on the couch. You fall dramatically between Walker and Prager. Walker chuckles as you rest your head on her thigh. "What's up babe?" she asks, putting down her data pad. "I'm so bored," you complain. "Maybe you should try reading a book," Prager suggests, not looking up from his own book, pulling your legs into his lap. "I already tried that, it failed miserably," you sigh. "Maybe it was the wrong genre of book?" he asks. You groan dramatically and drop your arm over your eyes. Walker begins to run her hand through your hair as she slides the fluffy end of her tail over your arm.

"You can always read fantasy," Prager continues. "I read a book series a while ago, A Court of Thorns and Roses, I thought it was a very good series." ‘Hmm,’ you think to yourself. ‘I'm pretty sure that's hardcore faerie porn.’ You only groan in response. "Or not, maybe mystery? Or thriller?" You don't answer. Prager pinches your calf and laughs when you try to kick his hand. "Or maybe you should pick a book on a subject, something like history, philosophy, baking or cooking or culture or something." Then you got an idea. You sit up abruptly. Walker's hand pauses midair. "What?" she asks. "That's it!" you exclaim.

Despite your haste, you gracefully try to jump off the couch. Unfortunately, it is not successful when you fall flat on your face. You jump up and pretend nothing happened. "What are you looking at? Nothing happened." you say when you see all your partners looking at you. Most look amused, some confused and others slightly concerned. "I have to go, I love you!" you shout as you run out the door. You hear everyone say they love you too, before the door closes behind you.

You run back to your own quarters to find your data pad. "Aha!" you exclaim when you find the device. You wait impatiently for it to start up. You quickly scan through all your documents until you find what you're looking for. Your grandmother's pastry recipes.

You pick out your favorite recipe, carrot cake with ginger, write down the ingredients you're going to need and run out of your room. The base doesn't have much of a supermarket, but they do have a small market where you can get what you need. Including various foods.

When you finally get back to your room, you go to work. You follow all instructions carefully. When you have just started your baking attempt, the intercom next to your door will turn on. "Darlin', are you there?" You hear Miles ask. "Yes!" call you back. "Ardmore’s sending us on a mission, we're leaving in five." "Okay!" you call again. "We wanted to let you know and say bye," Lyle said. "I'm busy!" you answer over your shoulder. "Shit," you mutter to yourself when about half of the flour falls next to the bowl.

"What was that, sweets?" Do you hear Z-dog ask. "Oh nothing, good luck on your mission!" "Aren't you coming out for a kiss?" you hear Brown ask, probably pouting. "Not right now, sorry babe," you apologize. Brown lets out a sound that resembles a sob and you sigh. Big mistake, because you accidentally blew into the bowl of flour that now covers your face. "Shut up man, when mami says not now, she means not now." Can you hear Lopez say in the background. You feel guilty but don't open the door, especially with flour on your face. "You'll get a kiss when you come back," you promise.

"I'll get a kiss, won't I Mami?" adds Lopez teasingly. "Hey! that's not fair!" exclaim Fike and Brown indignantly. "Okay, that's enough," Miles cuts off before an argument can ensue. "See you later Darlin', I think we'll be back in two hours." "See you later, love you and be careful!" You get several conformations of their affection for you before the intercom goes silent. You smile, hoping to surprise your partners with a cake when they return, and go back to reading the instructions.

-

Two hours later you were able to finish the cake. You spread the last of the cream cheese frosting over the cake and step back to admire your work. You nod in satisfaction, before your datapad pings.

"We're back, do you have time to come to us or we can come to you." Reads Mansk's message.

"Some of us anyway, don't think we all fit in your room."

You smile. "On my way," you text back.

You carefully pick up the giant cake. Gigantic, because you made the cake Recom large, of course. You walk out of your room, on your way to your partners. Your colleagues look surprised when you walk past with a giant cake. And you have a face full of flour, which you have already forgotten.

Arriving at the door to your partners' quarters, you realize that you cannot open the door with the extra doorknob (which is specially installed at your height) because of your full hands and therefore you cannot knock. You finally decide to kick the door with your shoe a few times. You hear a click and the door swings open. A confused Ja stands in the doorway. "What-?" he begins. "Hey babe! I made y’all a cake!" you interrupt him, slipping past him into the room.

"Ohhh," exclaims Fike. "What kind of cake?" "My favorite, carrot cake with ginger," you reply. Everyone looks at you with interest and confusion. "How did you suddenly come up with this, love?" asks Brown. "Prager suggested that maybe I could read about baking and cooking and then I thought of this." Explain. "It's my grandma's old recipe, I have hundreds of her recipes on my datapad," you continue.

"Where are Lyle and Miles? They're missing the cake," you ask when you can't see the two. "They're reporting on the mission for Ardmore," Mansk replies, taking the cake from you to cut a piece for everyone, a human-sized piece for yourself.

"So?" says Fike coming to stand next to you, "more for us." You hit him on the hip. "Be nice or I'll let Lyle eat your piece too." You warn him. He gives you an innocent grin and takes some of Mansk's plates to give to the others. "You have flour all over your face," says Ja, handing you a wet cloth to clean your face. You thank him and clean your face.

"Wait until Lyle and Miles get here," you warn when you see Lopez and Prager hungrily eyeing the cake. The two both pout, but obey you. You climb back onto the couch and patiently wait for the colonel and his second to arrive. After about ten minutes, the door finally opens and Lyle and Miles enter.

"Buttercup!" shouts Lyle excitedly when he sees you. "Hey Lyle, I made y'all a cake," you proudly announce. "Looks lovely," he says, kissing your forehead and plopping down on the couch. Miles sits on his recliner and picks up the cake plate to taste a piece. The others gather on the various sofas and follow his lead. You study everyone nervously, nervous that they don't like it. It remains silent. You assume it means they don't like it and start saying it's just your first try and that it's okay if it's not good, you'll do better next time.

"This is...," Z-dog begins. "Heavenly!" exclaims Brown. "This is your first time making this?" asks Miles curiously. You nod uncertainly. "It's really super tasty," he assures. Everyone nods in agreement. You smile and grab your own piece. It does indeed taste good. "Just like grandma made it," you nod with satisfaction. Meanwhile, the recoms have already finished their pieces and are arguing over who gets to have another piece. "Why don't you wait until tomorrow?" you suggest. "Then you can enjoy it longer." Your partners agree begrudgingly.

"If I can't have another piece of cake, can I at least have that kiss you promised?" pouts Brown. "Yes, me too!" says Lopez. "And me!" adds Fike. "You wait your turn," Z-dog scoffs. "Women first," she adds, as Walker nods in agreement. You laugh when another argument starts over who gets a kiss first.

[artiststarme]

Robin has a nut allergy

Just a little snippet of Robin being allergic to nuts with some Steddie on the side. I hope you guys like it and please leave your thoughts in the comments!

~*~*~*~

It’s a well known fact within the Party that Robin is allergic to nuts. Whether it be because of genetics or her lesbianism that had her allergic to even being in the vicinity of nuts, male or otherwise, she was deathly allergic. And ever since an incident involving carrot cake, walnuts, and an ambulance ride to the ER, everyone knew it. 

She didn’t have an Epipen herself (they were too expensive and she’d rather die before spending $600 on something that might save her life) but Hopper now had three of them on his person at any given time. And Steve had stolen one of his emergency pens to put in the Beemer in case of emergencies. 

Either way, it had been a long time since she’s needed one and a long time since she had any sort of allergic reaction. Robin felt secure with her friends. With them, she didn’t have to check all of the ingredients on food containers or worry about one of them trying to murder her with concealed tree nuts, unlike her parents. Or so she thought. 

Because when she stepped into the Hopper-Byers’ house one afternoon on what was supposed to be her introduction to her first DnD campaign, her throat swelled shut. Within seconds she was choking, her face turning red and her eyes watering. She couldn’t breathe. 

She clawed at her throat in an effort to get air in. She vaguely felt Steve pulling her out of the doorway of his house and distantly heard him yelling at Eddie to grab something from his glove box. Meanwhile, Robin was panicking. She couldn’t get enough air in and her muscles were starting to weaken. She could feel her body fighting itself as it responded to the airborne molecules of nuts in the air. 

Her vision was tunneling and her breaths were labored by the time she felt a sharp stab in her right thigh. Immediately, the swelling in her throat started to lessen and her vision began to clear. Her chest heaved for the air it was deprived of and her ears tuned back into her surroundings. 

“C’mon Eddie, help me pick her up. We have to get her to the hospital. Let’s go!”

“Hey Stevie, calm down. She’s fine now. We’ll get her to the hospital and she’ll be okay. I’ll drive, you just hold onto Robin.”

“What even happened? She was having an allergic reaction?” She thinks that was Jonathan but she couldn’t be sure with her eyes still closed. 

“She’s allergic to nuts. Especially pecans and walnuts,” that darling voice was Will’s. She’s recognize his soft tone anywhere. 

“Oh my god! I was making pecan pie, I forgot! I feel horrible!” That was Joyce, no one else could sound so hysteric. 

The rest of the conversation escaped her as Steve and Eddie set her in the Beemer and took off towards the hospital. She nodded off in Steve’s arms in the back of the car and Eddie drive like a bat out of hell to get her help. 

When she woke up, she was resting on a hospital bed with IVs in her hands and a blanket pulled up to her chest. Night had fallen and Steve and Eddie were still by her bedside, curled up on a single chair with their limbs wrapped around each other. 

Knowing she was safe in the presence of her best friends, she let her eyes slip closed and went back to sleep. There would be apologies made in the morning and hysterical promises made but for now, she would rest in the presence of her capital P platonic soulmate and his boyfriend, her other best friend. Everything else could be dealt with later.

Permanent tag list: @doubleb11 @nburkhardt @zerokrox-blog @newtstabber @i-less-than-three-you @carlyv @pyrohonk @straight4joekeery @trippypancakes @conversesweetheart @estrellami-1 @suddenlyinlove @yikes-a-bee @swimmingbirdrunningrock @perseus-notjackson @anaibis @merricatty @maya-custodios-dionach @grtwdsmwhr @manda-panda-monium @lumoschild @goodolefashionedloverboi @mentallyundone @awkwardgravity1

[blogger-yura]

Entry #58 Sep 15th '24

#YurasLife #DailyYura #SummerMemories #LoveTales

𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐘𝐮𝐫𝐚- A special day

Hello hello hello to everyone!!! Exciting news, everybody! Oh my godddd σ(≧ω≦*)

As many of you guys know, I've been dating this amazing human being that my boyfriend is for two years now! It's been a whole ride, of the best kind, but still a ride. So many memories, so many new things, learning and growing and adapting... He's been with me throughout some messy times, walking beside me every step of the new ways I took. Encouraging me and being such an amazing support for me... He's had his times, too, and I might not have been as amazing as he was, but I know I've tried my best to give back every bit of energy and love and care he's given me and continues to do so.

And man, oh man, am I excited, thrilled, delighted to announce...

[𝐖𝐞'𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝!]

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞

𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮

𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧

𝓶𝓲𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓵𝓮𝓼.

Ah!!! I don't even know what to make of this post! I'm just so over the moon! He planned a whole trip, took me to a beautiful island for our anniversary, took care of every detail to make it perfect- God, he even forgot his speech and it was still incredible just as he is. I'm still a bit shocked and dumbfounded by it all, but am I SO thrilled for what's to come!

I think we all dream at some point about the love of our lives, our perfect half. We dream of who they'll be, how they'll be. We dream of their looks, and their personality, and what we want them to exist as. We make up this imaginary person that's just perfect for us, and even if eventually we kind of grow up to understand we'll never meet someone like our dream person, that this person doesn't exist! We still tend to compare our parters to them. Have them up to this made-up standard... That is, of course, until you meet someone WAY better than you could've ever imagined.

And god, isn't it just so perfect?

When I met San, I think it was knowing right away and deep down. I knew right away that whatever I had dreamed of my whole life and thought I wanted wasn't really what I craved and deserved. It was clicking right away and realizing that all my life, I had been looking for something, searching for someone who wasn't what I needed. Knowing deep down that it was him and no one else, ever.

And here we are, whatever time later, one carrot cake, countless chocolate ones, millions of cupcakes, and all the horror movies in the world later... And I wouldn't wish to be anywhere else but beside him.

🌼: @clubwnderland [💍💙] @moonlightchn @kimheebby @nana-n-nono @coffeexdreamcb @silcntxnight @livealittleoc-cb @minsour-r @multi-esme @urtwice @san-cb @reve-rv @oppositesattraxt @lunaaofthemoon @badbf-cb @domxbot @the-hellhounds @monsterhigh-cb @theinvitation-bot @welcometosector1 @multi-joong @vanilladaises-rp @beastfights-starting @redlight-cb @yourmysticalgirls-cb @hybridsheltercb @kardpackcb @beaconhillsxbot @yandereyeri @glamrockpop-cb @angelsxdemons-cb @shin-haneul @fallenangels-cb @inferno-cb

gotta redo this taglist eventually aye

[whaleofatjme1920]

WAAAAAAH TY ELSIE

Headcanons for Cimmerian, Django (i miss him) Kondraki and Dr Jordi Gunn with a reader who's an archivist? They're like really discreet and doesn't like attention too

(I made the carrot cake btw, ill tell you in a different post)

Dr. Cimmerian, Agent Django, Dr. Kondraki and Dr. Gunn with an Archivist SO

[GN!Reader]

[Warnings: Like, none?]

[AN: Love talking abt my Jordi. ALSO praying Cimmerian never finds my posts abt his sona. </3]

Dr. Cimmerian

Yeah I think you two vibe pretty well. He doesn't really want a high profile when it comes to being in love just out of safety but little things he does gives it away pretty easily. Everyone just knows, y'know?

He comes to you for a plethora of research help even though you know he knows the answer and what's going on.

He likes coming down just to see you. He usually does this during slow hours just to respect your privacy and whatnot.

Will occasionally lessen your work load depending. If it's a restoration project or looking up certain histories and contexts, he'll find ways to make it easier for you. He cares deeply.

Agent Django

I don't think Django is like, the biggest showboat when it comes to love but he does like being a LITTLE obvious with his love. It kinda clashes with what you want but he respects your desires.

He's in the archives more often than not because of you. If something needs to be brought down, it's by his hand because he wanted to see you. He misses you when he's out and about.

Yeah he genuinely needs your help understanding some things. I think his hand is relatively steady too so he helps with some restoration stuff.

He will also help you update the databases and whatnot. Will bend rules for you because you do so for him. It really helps when he's out in the field and needs knowledge, like maps and stuff. Your abilities directly influence his, and vice versa.

Dr. Kondraki

He knows the archives better than he cares to admit. I almost want to say he's the reason you're in that position! And it was done because he loves you. He's very lowkey with his affection and love as well, so no worries there.

Essentially moves his office down to the office just because you're always down there, nose buried in a book as you attempt to preserve it. He values just being near you.

He always manages to route the most interesting artefacts towards you just to give you something fun throughout your shift. Asks a lot of questions just because he wants to hear you talk.

He's quite on top of your workload and while he won't be as helpful as Django, he offers support. It's awkward, but it's also the thought that counts.

Dr. Gunn

Gunn is quite sweet when it comes to love. He's not the most outward person about it though and this is just because he believes in work boundaries! So he won't smother you in love.

As for being an archivist, he has TONS of questions to send your way because he needs to understand what he's doing. His whole schtick is using SCP properties for everyone else's benefit, so of course he's going to be asking you questions based on artefacts and even trying to bribe you into letting him use those artefacts himself.

He's very helpful though. Will update databases for you, help you organize, and generally get lost in your work with you. He's got a knack for languages and will help you translate some texts that are much more historical than bargained for.

On being discreet, he finds ways to show his affection. I think one of his main love languages is touch, and it's usually during the late nights no one else is around he's able to love you.

[canonicallyobserving911]

WIP Wednesday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Season 7 FANON Speculation: Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading: “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

Chapter 14 - Will be posted soon.

Currently 13 chapters completed: 363.1K Words Rated: Mature

One chapter will be posted at a time.

___________

Here's some Buck and Eddie romantic fluff from Chapter 14.

___________

After Eddie stores his turnout gear and everyone else goes to complete their chores, at 5:55PM he steps outside so he can get some privacy and calls Buck.

He answers on the first ring, “Hey babe.”

“Hey my love.”

Buck can hear the wobble in Eddie’s voice and he immediately goes on alert. “Is everything ok?”

Eddie rubs his hand over his face and in a low voice, he replies, “Yeah… I just… needed to hear your voice”.

“Did you have a rough call?”

“I did and it was…”  He trails off at the thought of how distraught the 9-1-1 caller named Ed was after his boyfriend, Ethan died of Cancer.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No… but I want to keep talking to you.”  Hearing Buck’s voice is preventing the panic from rising in his chest again.  After a couple of seconds of silence, he asks, “Can we talk about something else, so I won’t have to think about it anymore?”

“Of course.”

What happened on the scene of a call that caused Eddie to be so shook up that he needed to hear Buck's voice so he wouldn't have another panic attack?👀

~~~

Two hours later...

It’s 8:00PM when the 118 makes it back to the firehouse and while they’re getting out of the ambulance and the ladder truck, Bobby says, “I’ve taken the team offline for the next two hours so we can eat”. 

Since Eddie knows Bobby prepared a broccoli cheese casserole for dinner and he’s planning to reheat it, he decides he’ll eat some later if he feels like it but it’s not what he wants.  Even though the rest of the team is heading upstairs to the loft, he walks outside and he’s grateful no one is asking him why he doesn’t want to eat dinner because right now, all he wants to do is talk to his boyfriend.

Once he's standing outside in front of the firehouse alone, he removes his phone out of his pocket and calls Buck on FaceTime.

Buck answers with a big smile.  “Hey babe.”

“Hey, my love.”  He looks in the background and he recognizes the interior of Buck’s Jeep so he asks, “Where are you?”

“I’m here at the station but I’m on the backside of the parking lot on the far-right.”

“You are?  What are you doing here?”  Eddie asks as he starts walking towards the lot.

“I wanted to surprise you.  I brought you dinner from the Italian restaurant you love and they had Carrot Cake too… so I got you a slice.”

Eddie smiles brightly and replies, “You did?  I’m on my way.”

They end the call and Eddie’s smiling so wide and big his cheeks hurt.  He realizes they’ve been hurting a lot lately because Buck never ceases to amaze him.  He knows this is the chemistry he was searching for and while he heads towards the parking lot, he’s still smiling because he really wanted to see Buck tonight and he’s here.

When he makes it to the Jeep, he gets in on the passenger’s side and leans in to kiss his boyfriend.  After he breaks the kiss, he asks, “Babe what are you doing here?”

“I missed you and I wanted to see you.”

“I’m so glad you came and thank you for bringing dinner.”

“You’re welcome and this is going to be one of our dinner dates.  We’ll pretend like we’re at a fancy restaurant and I’ve uh... got the music we can listen to while we eat.” 

Buck hits play on his “For the Love of My Life” playlist and the song, “For You” by Kenny Lattimore starts playing.

Will Buck and Eddie's car date get interrupted by the firehouse alarm or will someone see them sitting in Buck's Jeep?👀

___________

I’m working on Chapter 14 and I'm so excited because at the end of Chapter 13, Buck and Eddie had a conversation with Connor, which caused "Petty Eddie" to enter the chat. When Eddie was done telling Connor off, Buck ended their friendship. Also, Eddie passed his first paramedic exam, Chris made progress on the video game he's creating and Buck signed up to volunteer at the Cancer Center. Buck and Eddie shared passionate kisses and slept with their arms wrapped around each other and their legs tangled as they cherished every moment.

___________

This is an EPIC LOVE STORY!

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Both Buck and Eddie have difficult conversations with their parents and Buck finally learns the truth behind the reason why his mother despised him while Eddie finally tells his mother about the way she tries to control him.

Chapter 6 - More than two weeks after Buck pushed Eddie away after suggesting they needed a break; Eddie decides to try again. Eddie’s there for Buck when he’s at his worst just like Buck was there for him when he was at his worst and he won’t let Buck give up.

Chapter 7 - After Buck’s mental breakdown, Eddie has his back the same way Buck had his when he had his own breakdown more than a year ago.  They share several vulnerable and emotionally intimate moments with one another and they begin to realize their small, sweet and caring gestures matter just as much if not more than any grand gesture ever could because these are the foundations of a long-lasting love relationship.

Chapter 8 - Buck, Eddie and Chris all have their own therapists and during their sessions, they reflect on their pasts while they’re in the present so they can prepare for their future together as a family.

Chapter 9 - Buck and Eddie are there for each other when Buck has to testify as a witness during the trial.  But by the end of it, they’ll both realize their individual and shared traumas are going to keep resurfacing until they talk about them, deal with the fact that they’re in love with one another and face the fact that they can’t live without each other.

Chapter 10 - As Buck and Eddie finally begin to confront their past traumas, they realize how much they need each other to fill in the gaps of their memories.  Additionally, the universe screams at them for what appears to be the one hundredth time so Buck can realize he doesn’t have to ‘find it’ because he already ‘made it’ and Eddie’s reminded tomorrow isn’t promised and he doesn’t have to die alone if he doesn’t want to.

Chapter 11 - A “virga” or dry thunderstorm is in the forecast but once the rain starts, the thunderstorm happening outside won’t be able to match the storm brewing inside between Buck and Eddie.  It’s the universe’s final scream and when the tumultuous winds begin to blow, they’ll have one last chance to hold onto everything they’ve built over the last six years or they’ll lose it all forever.

Chapter 12 - Buck and Eddie have always shared a deep physical attraction and an emotional intimacy that’s unmatched but now that they’re in a relationship, they’re learning how to navigate the romantic intimacy they’ve been waiting for six years to explore. The love they have for each other is a once in a lifetime, soulmate, love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.

Chapter 13 - While navigating the newness of their romantic relationship, Buck and Eddie take advantage of every moment they spend together. As their individual lives, people from their pasts, time constraints and the possibility of losing each other again make attempts to interrupt and interfere with their journey to forever, they love, care for, support and hold onto each other even tighter to withstand it all.

Chapter 14 - Will be posted soon.

__________

Read chapters 1-13 are available on AO3.

[akaiuchiha]

Chapter 12: A New Departure

Sanji was standing in front of his “father” with a serious expression on his face and pure hate in his eyes.

“You're not my father!”

Judge watched him and finally agreed to help them and leave Zeff alone. But there was one more thing Sanji needed to know. Even though his guts were telling him he was right, he still needed confirmation.

“I have one last thing to ask.”

The blond cook heard his siblings sigh and he felt Luffy's haki becoming more and more persistent.

“What is it?”

“You talked about someone who left East Blue. What were you talking about?”

Judge stared for a second and finally shrugged.

“Apparently you're smart enough to understand what I meant. But I'm certain you are too much of a coward to face the truth.”

Judge smirked and finally ordered his soldiers (a.k.a his sons and daughter) to help Bege escape. Sanji could feel Luffy staring at him, almost as if he was trying to unfold everything he had kept hidden all this time.

He thought his captain might say something against Judge but silence only greeted him.

 

After that, everything happened so quickly Sanji didn't have the time to think about anything else than making the cake and saving Luffy.

Once they were back on the Thousand Sunny and Judge yelled everything he thought was a failure in Sanji, they were able to breathe again. However, his crew did remember his question from earlier.

“What did you mean earlier about East Blue?” Nami asked after the hug she had given him.

“Yes, I have to agree I am trying to understand too.” Brook added without a joke.

Sanji looked at them for a moment and decided it was something to be discussed with everyone, or at least, the members who were present.

So they settled down near where Luffy was half passed out and half sleeping away his injuries.

“I am not sure Luffy will wake up any time soon… now that Jinbe left to help us leave safely.”

“No, probably not. But it's worth trying.” Nami shrugged before crossing her arms. “Now would you care to explain what the hell was that about or are we going to take a guess?”

“....” Sanji kept quiet while watching them. He seemed to have made up his mind when he started to talk. “Judge had sent someone to take care of the Baratie if I ever tried to go against his orders. They had the mission to sink the ship and kill thz cooks if I disobeyed. But…I heard him talk to someone and from what I understood… the Baratie is on the Grand Line.”

Silence greeted him before Name stood up and looked at him with a weird expression Sanji couldn't identify yet.

“You're saying that your dad went into the Grand Line without a real navigator and the Baratie as a ship?! That's absolutely crazy! If the Going Merry suffered that much, I don't even want to think about the restaurant!”

“Nami-san…”

“Yohoho, Sanji-san, maybe you should call him and then we'll see his answer, even though I don't have eyes yohohoho.”

Sanji did not raise his head to look at his crewmate plus Carrot. With what Brook had just proposed, his anxiety had increased by a lot. How could he face his father? He put him in danger, he gave up on his dreams and he was reckless through the whole ordeal. Maybe Zeff was going to be disappointed, maybe he was going to reject him.

Sanji was so stressed about Zeff rejecting him. He could survive the hatred and disappointment coming from Judge, but if it came from the only man he ever considered his dad? Sanji wasn't sure if he would be able to carry on.

His turmoil was cut short by almost everyone asking for food. Right, he had asked if he could cook them something, he should start preparing dinner.

Sanji stood up, followed by the others. Even Luffy had woken up and was standing.

“Sanji.”

The cook turned his head in his captain's direction and was surprised when he felt a well-known straw hat on top of his head.

“Luffy wha-”

“Don't overthink. He'll understand.”

Honestly, if you had told Sanji three years ago that he was going to dedicate his life and dreams to a rubber teenager full of freedom and convictions, he would have laughed. But right now, Sanji was sure he had made the right decision. The crew was family. Baratie was home. Both were his hopes and dreams.

He was just starting to realise it.

“Yes, captain.”

Luffy grinned and then started to ask for meat as always. Everyone smiled and laughed as they walked to the kitchen.

Once they had settled inside, Sanji started to cook. He had missed that feeling so much. The joy it brought him to feed his loved one, the proudness he felt when someone complimented his cooking. Sanji didn't even realise he was smiling until he felt the gaze of his crewmates looking at him with such fondness his past self would have thought he was in the middle of a huge hallucination.

“It's good to have you back.”

Nami said it with a soft smile and her head resting in the palm of her hand. Chopper nodded furiously with tears running down his face, followed by Carrot who had a lot to cry about, but it was going to be a discussion for later. Brook and Luffy were both laughing and soon Sanji joined them all.

“Yes, I am happy to be here with you guys.”

He put down the plates on the table and sat down next to Luffy.

They talked for a moment while they dodged the greedy hands of their captain trying to steal their food.

They started to leave the kitchen probably an hour after they had finished their meal. It was really late by now, the sun was going to rise in a few hours, maybe even an hour as their escape took them a large part of the night. The entire world was now aware of what had transpired at the wedding ceremony and it was going to be the important event of the day, if not of the week. Sanji didn't want that but he couldn't change the Newspaper by now. So he decided that, instead of overthinking once again, he had dishes to wash.

Sanji took the plates and cutlery to the dink and started to scrub and clean everything. With years of experience, it took him twenty minutes. His assigned dryer was missing but he could do without him. While he was drying a fork, Sanji eyed the den den mushi sitting on the counter. He didn't know if it could reach that far but it was worth trying. However it was something that would have to wait for the sun to be high in the sky.

 

The night ended and Sanji finally went to sleep in the bunkroom with his family.

When he opened his eyes again, some of them were still snoring. Nami was probably up, as she was their navigator so it meant he was late for breakfast, which didn't surprise him.

Sanji took fresh clothes and went to the bathroom. He washed and scrubbed away the sugar and cream he still had on him. Once he was clean and ready, he left his dirty clothes in the laundry basket and went to the kitchen.

There sat Nami with Carrot crying in her arms. Sanji fidgeted nervously as he did not want to disturb but still wanted to help Carrot and comfort her.

Pedro's death had hurt him more than he could have thought but it had happened and now it was something he had to live with.

The chef shook his head and offered a kind smile to the navigator and their temporary crewmate.

“Hello dear, can I get you something to help you?”

They both nodded and he decided to make them hot chocolate with tangerine slices in a plate as an addition.

Sanji didn't want to disturb them more so he quietly started to prepare the breakfast. As he cooked, he mind wandered to his childhood on the Baratie, dodging flying spatulas and kicks from whomever he had messed with. These memories made him smile and realise that he still had a call to make.

The girls had left the kitchen maybe ten minutes ago, leaving behind them empty mugs and a clean plate.

Now was the best time to call the old geezer. They were a week away from Wano, after many naps today most of the crew would get back to their former sleeping schedule and life would come back to normal. Once they reached Wano, peace was going to be difficult and quiet times even more.

He had to call him right now.

Sanji put down the pan he was using and grabbed the poor snail. He composed the personal number of Zeff and waited.

The first time it didn't work. No one answered and Sanji felt his anxiety doubling. The second time neither.

He started to imagine the worst scenarios. What if the Baratie had sunk? What if Judge had not respected his promise? What if Zeff was dead?

No, it couldn't be. Zeff was alive, everyone was safe and no one was going to die soon.

Sanji inhaled and tried to calm his nerves and composed the number one last time, praying to every god he knew (and certainly not Ener) for Zeff to answer the goddamn phone.

The well-known “gaccha” happened and Sanji relaxed. On the other end, the man holding the snail was trying to get a reaction from the person who had called him so early in the morning.

Sanji had to fight the tears from coming out when he heard the typical grunt from Zeff.

The old geezer was alive.

Sanji swallowed down the knot forming in his throat and finally spoke.

“Hi Zeff, it's Sanji.”

Maybe everything was going to be fine in the end.

[catharusustulatus]

Random Steve Harrington headcanons I have:

He was cool and aloof as King Steve, but he’s always been and still is a self-assured, leaps before he looks, takes life in strides, try anything once type of guy. He likes to think he’s changed a lot, but he isn’t a dweller. He ate a worm on a dare in seventh grade and thought, not bad. Then he moved on.

When he realizes he’s bi he “figures it out” because he didn’t want to not know what kissing a guy (besides Tommy, who was his first kiss) felt like, and then didn’t hate it, and it’s that simple. He’s a flirty, romantic, horny guy and when he figured out he could seemingly double the amount of dates and kinds of orgasms he could have? He brought an ice cream cake to work to celebrate, which Robin laughed about (over ice cream cake).

His middle name is Thomas. Tommy’s middle name is Steven. They used to joke about that, how they were “two sides of the same coin.” He still has Tommy’s baseball glove in his closet shoebox of trinkets and important items - he never had the heart to return it after their fight. But he thinks about Tommy all the time. About if he’s changed.

Other items in his closet shoebox: his Scoops Ahoy name tag, his pressed penny from his field trip to Chicago in fourth grade, his stuffed rabbit, Polaroids of Robin, asleep with a marker mustache, Robin, holding a fish she caught with Lucas, Robin, flipping him off while prank calling the donut shop, Dustin with his eyelids flipped up, Dustin when his new tooth finally came in, Max on her bike with a big smile, Lucas and Erica at Erica’s lemonade stand this past spring, his camera, his first photo strip with Nancy, his first note to Nancy (not delivered because he spelled beautiful incorrectly) his favorite photo of Nancy, waving from her doorway - that one was taken by Jonathan. A note from Jonathan. Max’s letter. Two dice, some playing cards, Robin’s cootie catcher she made for him when he was sick and bored last winter. All his prized possessions.

When he was seven his dad dislocated his arm. He lied and told everyone he fell. His dad never touched him again, but his dad also never really looked at him again either.

He loves German chocolate and carrot cake, and Dustin makes fun of him every birthday for his “old man palette.” But he and Mrs. Henderson still bake him a cake every year.

His favorite mole on his body is the one by his belly button, because that’s the one his mom used to tickle.

His obsession with stripes goes beyond polos. His striped wallpaper is still up, on only one side of his room (Robin made him take the other walls down, said his room was too like a cage), but his bedding is striped too. He also has a striped shower curtain. He loves stripes :-)

His favorite color is green, like the trees by the quarry in spring. His second favorite color is “Robin’s egg blue” which he didn’t believe was a real color until Robin showed him at the library. He likes it because it’s Robin, but also because he secretly loves his mom’s turquoise ring she always leaves on her nightstand.

He read Of Mice and Men in one sitting, and cried for three days afterwards.

He knows all the lyrics to Queen’s discography. But his favorite artist is Springsteen.

He doesn’t smoke weed for a long time after Starcourt. He doesn’t drink either. The first time he’s able to smoke without panicking is when Argyle gifts him a roll of Palm Tree Delights for his birthday, and graciously smokes them with him.

Sometimes he showers just to cry.

Robin has seen him fully naked and vice versa. Sometimes he pees when she’s in the shower at his house (he has better shampoo and water pressure).

When he can’t sleep, he thinks of all the people he loves. What they look like, their favorite things, what he loves about them, until he dozes off.

He loves peanut butter and jelly but also sometimes when he wants a sandwich he eats butter between two slices of banana bread. Everyone else is disgusted but he swears by it.

He keeps his car so nice because he has a feeling it will be the only thing he truly gets to keep from his father.

He loves blowing gum bubbles. His favorite gum is the Archie comics one, Bazooka. Guess he should have figured he was bi, he always loved Jughead.

These days, when he thinks of his loved ones to sleep, he thinks about Eddie, too.

[brick-a-doodle-do]

I’m a little late but fake fic titles if you would still like them :3

Questionable actions and a carrot

A piece of cake

Your no*1 fan

In a figurative and literal sense

All mine

Can you tell I wanted to be obscure? :3

agh. very obscure i love it :D i got an idea for one of them and now feel obligated to do all of them at once before i bury them in my drafts,,,,,,

questionable actions and a carrot

lately, wilbur'd seemed stressed. tommy understood, with the struggles of holding independence for l'manburg, he new the ruler would be stressed. so he wanted to offer his condolences and try to help his leader out.

after trading with ponk and sam and everyone else who was willing to help him, he finally had it: a shrinking potion.

shrink wilbur, force him to rest. that was his plan.

while he couldn't cook, he knew niki could, and tommy had immediately sought her help. reluctantly she agreed and the two organised a picnic/pot-luck type event for the recent winnings of their nation.

only thing was, niki and tommy had made stew and mixed in the potion to wilbur's portion.

in the end, wilbur wasn't exactly happy. but tommy did make sure to shut him up pretty quickly (he stuffed him in his pocket, gave him a shrunken carrot to calm the tiny, and went about his day)

a piece of cake

dream doesn't know why he stopped ghostbur from inviting the people to tommy's party, or why he'd sent the ghost off into the wilderness on top of it. maybe somewhere in the back of his mind, he didn't approve of it and thought it to be too friendly for an exile. or maybe he just wanted tommy to himself. he'd never exactly hated the kid, sure he was annoying, but he offered excitement. and lately their shared moments where he didn't have to fight for some quality time was pretty great. so maybe that's why he's here, standing in front of the nether portal, waiting for the motivation to go through.

when he does, the tiny is there already, sitting on the beach by the table he'd set up with dream just a few days before.

the two got into a pretty quick argument thanks to tommy's constant bickering and irritable self. but dream pulls the evening together pretty quickly. he'd made a small trident for the kid and had the cake that tommy had made. and the day ended with tommy eventually falling asleep in the crook of his neck. he wouldn't admit it, because tommy would've fucking killed him (both of humiliation and anger), but he'd left logstedshire and kept the tiny in his mouth for the time being. he had covered up his guilt surprisingly quickly.

your no*1 fan

tommy had heard many rumors of a famous leviathan hybrid that roamed the oceans just outside of the town, and he was determined to find it. he'd tried since he was a kid, just six years old trying to sneak a boat away without paying for it. sometimes it'd work and he'd sail around for a couple minutes before getting caught. he'd made a deal with the owner of the boat shop though after a while: if tommy promised to help search as often as he could, there wouldn't be a word about his stealing to his family. ever. and after a while, tommy grew out of the deal and he and quackity became good friends, and phil and wilbur knew all about his adventures with him.

tommy even got his own boat!

eleven years had passed and tommy was growing hopeless. at his core, he always believed in "karrohaird", but maybe he was too awesome for tommy.

until his very last outing, where he'd decided to go earlier and pass the time by fishing.

the area had been empty for a while, and he hadn't caught a single thing.

and when he did, he was surprised to find something that was very much not a fish. karrohaird. but...much smaller than he'd ever expected. immediately, he emptied a jar he'd collected shells in and swiped it in the sea, put the mer in, and sealed it as tight as he could. holy shit. he'd finally found the monster he'd spent years looking for.

--

technoblade had seen the bottom of the same boat for years. the human seemed more eager than any other child or adult he'd ever seen. and him, being a sizeshifter, decided he owed it to the kid. but just because the fish had all fled at his arrival and he was bored he thought this way.

in a figurative and literal sense

(VERY MUCH BASED OFF OF "FIELD NOTES" BY OWL CITY)

also please get why i made the scavenger/tiny wilbur. please. i will cry if you don't. this is the entire purpose of the fake fic /vlh

technoblade was just starting to build a life in the overworld, trying to find first a job, which had proven difficult. on his way home, he had gotten distracted by a skeleton that must've wandered too far out of the woods. his instincts yelled at him to follow after it and kill it, which led to him abandoning his car to chase after the thing, who had seemed surprisingly vulnerable and scared of the sudden attack.

he chased it through the fields, and right into a water-filled ditch. despite the inconvenience of being soaked, he still killed the thing and found his way out of the ditch after deeming satisfactory from the way his voices calmed instantly.

on his way out, he noticed something shimmering in the setting sun.

curious, and his voices whirring again at the sight, he dug in the mud until he found the source: a rather elegant old box with jewels dotted across and intricate lines. it looked beautiful. and something, not just the hint of gold, drew him to it.

when he opened it after much struggle, he found a scavenger. one of the rarest and most valuable things in the dimension. it was infinitely small, drained-out looking and curled up in the corners of the box. it's brown curls obscured what he could only imagine to be a soulless and tired face.

all mine

so what if he sold a little bit of drugs? why was he of all the murderers and assholes in the prison sent to the scp foundation to serve as bait for these fucking monsters?

first off, this technoblade guy was rude as shit, and he'd immediately thrown him in a cell with a bunch of other poor class d's who didn't know what they were getting into. neither did quackity, to be fair, he just knew it was bad.

and now he's being handed off to a scientist named wilbur who was almost eager to send him off to conduct tests with an scp, who apparently was friendly but also very much not (wilbur's words, not his). it had similarities between 999 in looks. but that still didn't calm him down.

when the time came, he was shoved into a room with what had to be a fifteen foot tall glob of green slime. he was told never to smile around it, and then spent the evening doing just that. the slime was friendly with him, and apparently as it was new even wilbur was blown away by the fact that it could have a simple conversation with quackity.

and unfortunately quackity felt fond of it.

so he'd left, then came back the next day ready to start more experiments. until the thing made some comment that had been so simple it made him laugh, which made him smile.

and now, he's encased right in the middle of the incoherent body of slime.

eee im very slowly getting into the scp stuff so i thought it'd be cool to make a fake fic out of it :D