#everyone else makes memes out of poetry and song lyrics

[aceofthegreenajah]

14, 5, 21 WIP meme!

Ooookay (yesss thank you for the questions (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧)

I think I'll answer for both of the fics I've touched within the week

The universe took its time on you:

14. For this chapter? Just took ages to figure out what I wanted next. For the entire fic? I keep trying to make LGQ too thinky - he's an action guy, not someone who wallows inside their head like me or Shen Jiu.

5. Some OC for sure! My original plans called for Shi Yang to be a part of it. But since that has stalled, I might instead do something else involving the yet unnamed Zhi JI succeeding disciple and some ex-brothel women. Shi Yang is cool, the others barely have a personality inside my head, let alone on the page.

21. I don't really do playlists, but let's see... for the whole whole fic Kaunis rietas onnellinen by Kaija Koo

The lyrics are not that fitting except in a few places but the vibes. The vibes are immaculate.

To give you an idea, the song begins like this:

You've already once seen how this world collapses And still from somewhere among the ashes [you've] risen up again You've already once thought you'll never recover And still there with everyone you shout louder So I can promise that always in the end you'll survive anything

On the other hand, if I think about lyrics Puhu äänellä jonka kuulen by Haloo Helsinki might as well be written by LQG about SJ (if he had a smidge of poetry in his soul). The song's name means Speak with a voice I can hear and the lyrics. are just so accurate. all the way thorough.

For third let's go Valot pimeyksien reunoilla by Apulanta - the song name means Lights at the edges of darknesses.

(if anyone is curious about the lyrics for any of these please enble me. I think translating is fun.)

That which is bright rises twice:

14. Figuring out what über genius Mei Changsu would do ( ╯□╰ )... Why did I decide to write about geniuses... And also figuring out how much info to give out about the power system? It's lived in my head for so long it's hard to remember that no-one else knows, and I'm not a natural infodumper. I think I give too little info if anything usually.

5. All the people from other sects are OC's but honestly, they're not even important enough to be named. I like the sect leader for the small local sect but I don't think she'll show up much after this chapter.

21. uuuh, chinese music with wuxia vibes cos it's the jianghu chapter. I have some of that on my playlists but all of it gives me WoH vibes instead of NiF vibes. this is the anthem of Nirvana in Fire in my head:

(there was a tumblr post with the lyrics translated once upon a time but I've apparently lost it 🥺)

[xaharadesert]

Bard MC - Headcanon

Arcana Characters (Main 6) x MC

A/N: Okie dokie, this one is for a very lovely and very patient anon! Their request for an MC who can control magic through music is super cool! Honestly, I didn’t know exactly what a bard was when I first received this request, so I’ll be adding in a couple references about that as a joke :) I also tried to leave it ambiguous between whether the MC sings or plays an instrument, but I may have failed. My apologies, these may be a bit shorter than what you’re all used too, but I was struggling with this a little bit (also I am half asleep as I am finishing this, so I’m sorry if some of it doesn’t make sense). Also, I’m very sorry about using an outdated meme, but the oppurtunity was right there and I had to use it. As always, I recognize Asra’s non-binary gender orientation but will be using he/him pronouns! Please let me know if there are any spelling or grammar mistakes :) Requests are open!

❤️Julian❤️

Oh, yeah, he knows what a bard is

Like a singer... right?

Nope

When you tell him that you control magic through music, he has a small crisis and reevaluates every bard he’s ever met

He suddenly has quite a few questions about the inherent magic of music

Curious as always, he wants to learn more about how music acts as a medium for magic, which means a lot of questions

Most of his questions are based in psychology, because a small part of him that constantly doubts magic believes that you’re just a scientific genius

Overall, he supports you, of course

He loves music and the fact that you can cast spells using it is just an added bonus

Julian is already thinking about all the musical adventures you’ll have together

If you offer to teach him, he’ll respectfully decline

He’ll stick to the ordinary kind of music, thank you

On that note, unless it messes with your magic he will absolutely sing along whenever you’re preparing a spell

If this is a problem he’ll sing quietly to himself to avoid being a distraction

He’s sorry if it’s annoying to you, but he really loves singing

When he’s constantly surrounded by music he finds it hard to keep quiet

But if you’re okay with him joining in? He’ll belt some made-up lyrics at the top of his lungs

He may accidentally sing over you and your music, so even if it was originally fine, it will unintentionally cause problems

🧡Portia🧡

Oh, a bard!

That’s uh... a music thing, right?

I mean, she was mostly right

When you tell her that you can control magic through music she’s ecstatic

Magic in and of itself is super cool, but music too?! That’s amazing!

Portia wasn’t the biggest fan of music before, but you can bet your butt she is now!

She loves listening to you preform magic, and even if your not doing a spell, she loves listening to you

She wants to know what kind of songs control what kind of spells

In fact, she wants to know everything about your magic

You might as well be her official teacher because she never stops asking questions

In fact, asking if you can teach her eventually does come up

She’s a very eager student, although she often goes off track and starts inventing her own music

It’s not as effective, but she’s definitely having fun

Even if she never actually learns the magic part, she learned a cool new musical skill

She’ll create silly little songs to make you laugh

Sometimes when you use a particularly sad song for a spell, she’ll start to tear up

This can be a bit of a distraction, but she swears she’s not actually upset

You’re just amazing at what you do

Once Julian needed your help and her response was “this is so sad, MC play Despacito”

💛Lucio💛

Of course he knows what a bard is!

At least that’s what he claims

In reality he has no idea, he always referred to them as “music people”

So when you tell him about controlling magic through music he’s suddenly feeling a little afraid of every musician he made fun of in the past

He’ll never admit that out loud, though

Lucio thinks what you do is amazing

You can do magic AND you’re musically talented! That’s double the talent!

For a moment he considered mocking Asra for being less talented than you before remembering that you and Asra are friends

That doesn’t stop him from showing off your talents to everyone else, though!

Whether you really want to or not, you’ll probably have to show literally every Vesuvian your abilities at least once

Lucio himself isn’t particularly interested in learning your form of magic

He’d rather watch and listen as you preform spells

He doesn’t really want you to teach anyone else though, but he can’t really stop you if you choose to anyway

Sometimes he’ll ask you to preform a spell just so he can listen to you

He especially loves to hear slower songs for spells that ward off nightmares

When he listens to you, he genuinely feels calm and peaceful

He just exists in a perfect moment, with nobody but you and him

On a side note, though, sometimes when you’re showing off for other people he’ll try to sing along and it’ll always end up sounding horrible

💚Muriel💚

Doesn’t even pretend to know what a bard is

He never really had a reason to know, so he doesn’t

When you first tell him, he feels a bit awkward because he feels as if you expected him to know

But of course, your brand of magic was pretty unique so explaining your abilities was old hat by now

He’s not exactly sure how he feels about your methods

Of course he loves and supports you, but your magic... it’s just... a lot

It seems to require a lot of noise, and it draws way too much attention in his opinion

He would never try to change you, but he shrinks into himself whenever you gain a crowd from performing a spell in public

He starts to feel differently about it the first time he hears a slower song

When your music is soft and soothing he inadvertently feels himself relax

Knowing that you’re beside him, doing what you love, brings him a lot of inexplicable joy

Muriel doesn’t really have any interest in learning your kind of magic for himself, if he’s being honest

Although, he never minds when you want to talk about the complexities

He doesn’t mind very much if you need to practice late at night at home, because he doesn’t need to worry about other people intruding

Personally, he has no real uses for your magic so he never asks for your help

That isn’t to say he won’t accept it; if you want to use a song to help with menial tasks once in a while he won’t complain

The one exception is if you start using it for some creepy spell in the middle of the night

Then he may have a few complaints

💙Asra💙

The only one who actually knows what a bard is without your explanation

He was there throughout most of your magical growth, so he already knows a lot about it

In all honesty, if it weren’t for you, he probably would have been just as oblivious as everyone else

He loves how unique your method of performing magic is

Asra has never met anyone quite like you, and he doubts he ever will

Watching you perform your magic is one of his favourite hobbies (if you can really count that as a hobby)

Observing how your magic interacts with your music is incredible to him

He’s a little jealous, but he’d never say that out loud

You offered to teach him years ago and he eagerly accepted, but he never quite got the hang of it

In the end, he learned most of the theory behind it, but he mostly stuck to his own brand of magic

Even if he does admire your magic more than he admires his own, he does love the contrast between the two of you

(Spoilers) when he brought you back and was re-teaching you most things, your magic was one of the hardest

He felt horrible that he couldn’t properly demonstrate for you, but after teaching you the theories again, you seemed to pick it up on your own

On a side note though, helping you relearn your magic did allow him to grasp a couple of basic spells with your method, which makes him super excited

All in all he’s just thrilled that you have such a strong and unique brand of magic

He’s proud of how much you’ve grown into it, despite not having a proper mentor

Asra is a fan of quite a few unique types of music, but listening to whatever kind of music your using has definitely helped him settle on a few favourite songs

He doesn’t have a favourite kind of musical spell, so he’s excited no matter what kind of magic your performing

One time he even convinced you to cast a spell to heat up some tea faster just because he wanted to hear your music

💜Nadia💜

A bard?

As in, one who recites poetry, correct?

She uses the definition of a bard when describing what she thinks you do

Nadia is pleasantly surprised to find that your definition of bard is much more powerful, although she now has a few questions about how you go about defining words

She doesn’t have very much magical experience, so she was unaware of how unique your brand of magic was

But when she finds out exactly what it is you do?

She’s so excited

Nadia definitely loves music, although she leans toward slightly more refined tastes

She starts to question her favourite songs when she first hears you perform a spell

You manage to convey so much emotion, regardless of how long a spell or song is

She feels her heart pound in her chest whenever you use a lot of emotion in a spell

If you offer to teach her, she’ll have to politely decline

She knows how to play piano, sure, and her singing voice isn’t the worst, but she isn’t particularly interested in studying magic

She’ll just leave that part up to you

Of course, she’s always content to watch you perform, although sometimes it is a bit disruptive

If she needs a quick spell while in a meeting, a whole song can be a bit of a problem

She learns to work around this though, because she would never want you to ever change who you are

Although, she will admit she found it humorous when you chose a particularly aggressive song for a spell when trying to prove a point to Valerius

[humanlighthouse]

Fic Writer Interview Meme

I was tagged by my beloved @s1utspeare 💖✨ I’m doing this one quickly before it gets buried under notes, sorry to everyone who tagged me in stuff, the last few weeks have been insane and my wifi is still down, but I saw all of the tags and I love you so much for thinking of me?? I’ll get to them if I ever find them again 😓

name: Anna, HumanLighthouse on everything that counts!

fandoms: I almost exclusively write for DMBJ now and it’s the only fandom I’ve ever been actually involved in? I wrote one long fic for Anne with an E (the lovely, lovely Netflix show based on Anne of Green Gables) and another for the still-not-famous-enough, amazing webseries Edgar Allan Poe’s Murder Mystery Invite-Only Casual Dinner Party/Gala For Friends Potluck (yes, that’s the title, check it out if you like literature, that thing is brilliant), that I am pretty proud of, to the point that I made @jockvillagersonly watch it just so they could read my fic 🙈 I am shameless like that. Both are teeny tiny fandoms, but very sweet and welcoming! I also have a fic on hiatus for MDZS, some SongXiao angst/fix-it, and I read a lot of meta in that fandom but I’m not really involved in it? There’s just too much going on now. I was really into Reylo and Entrapdak for a while too, but like MDZS the fandoms got too big and I just ended up muting everything and rereading old favorites :/

two-shot: Like most writers I think, I tend to either do one-shots or multiple chapters. I’ve noticed that my emotional one-shots are usually super short, around 1.5k at most, my smut fics are <8k, and then you have the monstrosity that is my Slave AU, currently clocking in at 40k at about a third of the story… I am wide I contain multitudes and all that Before I admitted to myself that I was mostly a smut writer, I used to do like... first chapter of PG-13 fluff, and then the smut in a separate chapter but who am I kidding anymore...

most popular multi-chapter fic: And Sleep My Senses In Forgetfulness, my sleepy hospital fic, which is just gratuitous fluff (and smut). It’s one of my favorite fics so I’m really happy to see people like it!

actual worst part of writing: Not finding the proper word!! I swear by wordhippo (thesaurus.com judges me for writing porn and refuses to give me appropriately sexy synonyms, I swear) but sometimes the word just does… not… exist? or not in the right language, and it’s SO FRUSTRATING, sometimes I have the perfect movement or image in mind and I can't find the correct word for it 😭

how you choose your titles: They’re almost always adapted from lines of poetry and/or song lyrics, I hoard a bunch in my phone notes for when I need a good title. @jaecomments once asked about my titling process for one fic that didn’t take its title from that hoard, and like I told her, I literally googled “Neruda fabric” and found a good quote 😂 sorry about ruining the magic, guys 😂

do you outline: YES. I canNOT write without outlining, and outlining is my favorite part of writing. Back when I was writing my thesis, it drove my advisor crazy because I took like…. a year and a half to outline stuff before I could actually WRITE anything and he was like “are you actually working??” and yes I was, bro, respect the process plz. My drafts are pretty crude in wording but very detailed and apparently it’s kinda weird to read them? You’re lucky I spare (most of) you guys 😂

ideas you probably won’t get around to, but wouldn’t it be nice: Oh sorry, did you mean my entire WIP list

callouts @ me: WRITE THE WIPS BEFORE MAKING MORE DRAFTS

best writing traits: I am thoroughly incapable of assessing my own competence and I keep getting blown away by the incredibly sweet comments I get?? I’d say that apparently I write pretty good smut 😬 intimacy and domesticity is my favorite thing so I guess that statistically I must have written some nice bits on that. Oh, and I try very hard to keep track of stuff like furniture, clothes, number of limbs, current actions etc.!

spicy tangential opinion: Dick therapy is valid - oh did you mean the other kind of spicy? Clichés are clichés for a reason, and that reason is that they work, embrace the cheesiness my friends

Tagging @mejomonster @jockvillagersonly and whoever else I haven’t seen tagged already! 💖💕

[husbandograveyard]

Wootwoot! We made it you guys! May 4th is my one-year anniversary on Tumblr. With some ups and downs and over 300 requests written, I'm gonna go ahead and say it was a successful year!

Monday until next Sunday I will do another Mini HC event, like we did for valentine! Open for all my fandoms, with mystery prompts to choose from.

Until then, I wanted to do a sleepover event. Unlimited asks and interactions for the weekend cause I feel like I haven't talked to a lot of you in a long while!

You can send me any classic sleepover question

Kiss, marry, kill

Would you rather

Top 3/5/10...

Questions about me

Questions about my anime, writings...

Theories (keep em spoiler free though!)

For this event, I will engage in a little bit of selfship talk if anyone were to be interested. Ask me about my F/o's and tell me about yours! Dynamics, habits... anything!

Questions about OCs

If you need some inspiration, I have included a couple of lists below the cut with questions id be 100% okay with.

Also, if you just want to chat, tell me about your week, a funny thing that happened to you, or a fun fact (i love fun facts especially if it's creepy or an animal fact)... A N Y T H I N G is welcome! There is no limit to your asks, spam me if you want! ♡

Look forward to talking to you guys!

Ps, I'll tag these #1yearSleepover if you want to block something against spam

Questions for OCs - Specify which one! Taken from here

1. How many different places have they lived?

2. What is their dream vacation?

3. What is their favorite color?

4. What is their favorite book?

5. Have they ever cheated on anyone before?

6. Have they ever been cheated on?

7. How many partners have they had?

8. What is their favorite food?

9. Are they a liar? Are they good at lying?

10. Introvert or Extrovert?

11. Have they ever been arrested and why?

12. Who would they sacrifice their life for?

13. What are their spending habits?

14. Do they like hot or cold temperatures better?

15. Are they religious?

16. If they could describe themself in one sentence, what would they say?

17. Do they have any overused catchphrases?

18. What makes them laugh?

19. Have they ever lost anyone close to them? How did it affect them?

20. Do they have a fast reaction time, or slow?

21. How do they react to praise?

22. How do they react to criticism?

23. Are they indoorsy or outdoorsy?

24. What are their biggest pet peeves?

25. Do they have any type of handicaps? How do they manage them?

Other ask game - taken from here

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

6: do you keep plants?

7: do you name your plants?

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

12: what’s your favorite planet?

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

22: are you a morning person?

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

28: sunrise or sunset?

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

33: what’s your fave pastry?

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

39: what color do you wear the most?

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

59: what’s your favorite myth?

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

68: what’s winter like where you live?

69: what are your favorite board games?

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

73: what are some of your worst habits?

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

75: tell us about your pets!

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

82: are/were you good in school?

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

89: are you close to your parents?

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

[yelpfic]

2021 Writing (Year in Review)

This year, I posted 105k words on AO3. This is about half as much as I wrote in 2020, but still an incredible feat for me.

Overall, it was a good year for writing, and I had a lot of fun creating the stories I did. 300k+ words later, I'm still shocked that I'm allowed to write whatever absurd nonsense comes to mind and just... post it on the internet; that there's no fic police waiting to slap the keyboard out of my hands and send me to fic jail for my fic crimes.

I did a lot of exchanges this year, probably more than was healthy (more reflections on this in the meme answers below). I wrote my first DVD Commentary, which was a cool way to reflect on and document my own writing process, and participated in my first remix exchange, which let me create my take on someone else's work, and see someone else's take on mine.

I almost managed to keep myself to one WIP at a time, but I slipped up towards the end of the year. I'm finding that I enter a dangerous zone when I have the remainder of a story outlined in broad strokes. I lose some of the motivation to keep writing that comes from wanting to see for myself what happens (because I already know), but it’s also too much hard work to figure out the specifics of how we'll get there, so writing the next chapter is a struggle. Sigh, writers can be such ridiculous creatures.

One small, silly achievement: I noticed my AO3 account has been hovering near 100 subscribers for the past month or so, and I just managed to hit that milestone before the end of the year. Major thanks to everyone for reading what I put out, and for not calling the aforementioned fic police on me. I'm so honored to be allowed into your inboxes and your eyeballs.

AO3 stats and meme responses below the cut.

My AO3 stats at the end of the year:

Meme questions:

Best title: "The Substitute King"  In contrast to random poetry/song lyrics, this one is simple, direct, and tells you exactly what the story is about. It actually does the job of titling the contents of the story, which I rarely manage!

Worst title: "The Cold of Snow Refreshes the Soul" I wanted to match thematically with its prequel, "A Soft Tongue Can Break the Bone", which is from the book of Proverbs in the Bible. I tried to find something in a nearby verse, and ended up with this. I feel it's passable, but also feel a mild pang of embarrassment every time I scroll by.

Longest title: "The World Changes (And I Do Too Remix)" (38 characters), because I heard that's how you're supposed to title remixes.

Shortest title: "77" (2 characters)

Best first line: "In the fledgling start of a city not yet grown into its name, lies awake a tired yaksha recently divested of his. Sleeping soundly next to him is the Archon responsible, for the names and the insomnia both."

Worst first line: "I'd been waiting ever so long," says Mira out of nowhere, "to find players that were suited for it."

Best last line: "It only flies between them, light and inconsequential, shared as freely and as easily as the flow of laughter and conversation, while the timer ticks ever closer to the end."

Worst last line: "What can I say? You've given me so many gifts. I'm glad I could finally give you something in return."

Conclusion: I need to work on dialogue...

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted? More!! I didn't write one down last time, but let me make a prediction for next year: I'll guess 60k words for 2022.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year? I suppose "The Man from U.N.C.L.E."? I watched this on a whim because I saw a pinch hit requesting it. The pinch hit ended up getting done without me, but somehow a small idea had germinated, so I wrote it anyway.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest. Perhaps You Are Pain Pinned to Muscle. I've been requesting this prompt in several exchanges (futilely - I don't think much of anyone in the exchange scene is into this fandom), and it's almost a relief to take a stab at it myself. Now let's see if I can finish it...

Okay, NOW your most popular story. Solid as Stone! zhongguang shippers are incredible.

Story most underappreciated by the universe? The Substitute King. Feels a bit weird to complain about problematic porn being underappreciated, but IMO it is similar in content and length to my more popular works, but didn't appear to be well liked. My answer to this question last year was also my fill for Heart Attack Exchange - it's possible something about the exchange is not conducive to feedback. But it's also possible that the stories themselves are not good; writing a 10k story in two weeks doesn't produce the best results!

Story that could have been better? The story I put here last year was one that probably should have been longer, but I didn't feel comfortable continuing due to it being an exchange fic. I again feel this way, this year about Millions of Miles Under My Heels, so I'm definitely seeing a pattern.

Saddest story? Ginkgo, I think. Though the tone was lighter, the situation was sad.

Most fun? Linchpin. The canon was extremely fun, and having just consumed it a few days prior, I was still amped up on that vibe.

Most fucked-up story? On the Origin of Monsters (lack of link intentional).

Hardest story to write? The Cold of Snow Refreshes the Soul. I felt so much pressure writing for the same person again, and I didn't want to let them down.

Easiest/most fun story to write? Of Tricks and Treats. I saw some great, seasonal fanart and immediately jotted down an outline. Came back from running some errands, fleshed it out, and had it finished and posted it within hours!

Top five scenes you would like to see illustrated: Xiao in feathered leotard with Zhongli in coattails (The Flying Trapeze), original characters Nabonidus and Semiramis looking imposing in their robes and tattoos (The Substitute King), Hades!Hiruma pulling Cereberus off Heracles!Habashira (The Twelfth Labor of Habashira(cles)), Tsukasa and Senku eating ramen on a random rooftop (You Are Pain Pinned to Muscle).

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? I've done exchanges before, but this year was when I really went hardcore into them. It was inspiring to write to prompts and a like list; sometimes when you're just writing for yourself, you wonder if anyone will even care to read what you're putting down, so knowing you're tailoring your work to at least one person's interests can be helpful. Writing a bunch of stories to order also gave me a much better grasp on how "long" a potential story idea feels, both a rough wordcount and a sense of how long it would take me to write and polish.

On the other hand, I found myself really wrapped up in wondering if my recipient liked what I created for them, and I didn't like the anxiously nail-biting, inbox-refreshing person it turned me into, if, for any (totally valid) reason, I didn't hear back right away. I'd like to take away the positives (the fun atmosphere of shared creativity, the inspiration that can flow from other people's prompts), while cutting back the negatives. I'll definitely do fewer exchanges in the future, but look out for more opportunities to get inspired in similar ways.

What are your fic writing goals for next year? I have two ongoing projects, including one that I started over a year ago, which I feel rather guilty about not finishing. I’d like to wrap those up! I also want to work more on original things, but I did say that last year too. On the technical side, the main things I want to focus on are clarity and conciseness.

[mamichigo]

I was pestering @kotaboda the other day with the concept of the junior quartet as a boy band, so now I’m unleashing it on all of you as well

Jin Ling  would be sold as the “tsundere” member, to his immense displeasure. He's always so pissed off, but for some reason fans eat it up and adore him for it. The times he’s tried to complain about it, everyone reacted with “awwww look at him being embarrassed”, so he has learned to go with it (very begrudgingly).

Sizhui is what fans call the "church boy". He’s seen as the innocent one, especially in comparison to the chaotic mess that is everyone else. If he says something or acts in a way that is even slightly rude or not as innocent, people go crazy over it.

(Kota: SIZHUI SAID FRICK)

Jingyi is the true troublemaker of the band. If there's controversy, it’s because Jingyi either started it or is currently instigating it. Some might say he's too rude, but everyone agrees he's the only one that doesn't give a fuck and so says what everyone is already thinking. Because he's always justifiably angry/rude, fans always forgive him without a second thought.

Zizhen is the one band member that's always cracking jokes and making interviews less awkward, he has an insane amount of charisma. If Sizhui is the perfect boy, Zizhen is the nice boy next door. He's also a huge romantic and whenever he's allowed to talk he ends up spewing poetry. If you dare call him average looking expect absolute hell from his fanbase.

Extra:

Jin Ling is the one that always, ALWAYS gets made into a meme. Always. No matter how many times he appears in public. Even though he's one of the prettiest of the groups, it ends up happening because he's always pulling a stupid looking exasperated/angry face and it's just too good not to use as reaction pics.

Jingyi is the one that has fallen on stage at least 3 times on every single tour.

Zizhen does most of the lyrics, along with Sizhui, but Sizhui is there mostly to gently touch Zizhen's shoulder and suggest that maybe he should tone it down, just a little bit.

(The poetry gets away from him sometimes)

If you let Jingyi write the lyrics, it ends up being horny. Whenever there’s a horny song in the newest album, they just know its Jingyi’s doing.

They let Jin Ling be in charge of a song all by himself once, and it turned out so dark (at least in comparison to their usual style) they got bombarded for weeks by people asking if Jin Ling was okay. Now Jin Ling also has a mandatory Sizhui to tone him down.

(Kota: It seems like Sizhui is in charge of toning everyone down Me: Yes.)

[gabolange]

Fic Interview Meme

Tagged by @rahleeyah, sure!

Name: gabolange. I’ve had this handle since 2003, it’s all you’re ever gonna get.

Fandoms I write (or have written) for: From most recent to least, Babylon 5, City Homicide, The Doctor Blake Mysteries, Call the Midwife, The Librarians, Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, Leverage, Scott & Bailey, Sanctuary, The West Wing, Stargate SG-1, Bones, Star Wars, Homicide: Life on the Street, Battlestar Galactica, Star Trek: Voyager.

Most popular one-shot: By so, so much, When the Long Trick’s Over (Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries). I love this story. I am always shocked and awed and blown away by how much everyone else loves this story.

Most popular multi-chapter: I have exactly one multi-chapter story, so by default it must be life, and breath, and all things (Call the Midwife), but I’m okay with that, because that story is just so lovely.

Actual worst part of writing: Mostly finding time and mental space to write. Like, I have story ideas and no time to write, or time to write and no story ideas. The happy intersection of the two is rare alchemy. But I actually really love writing, even when it’s hard or not coming together. There’s no worst part, not even when my beta says something I love is crap and I have to do it again. Because that makes it better.

How you choose your titles: Mostly song lyrics and poetry. I never tell anyone what they’re from, though, so one of my best moments was when someone found and read the poem that titles ebb on with them who homeward go  (Blake) and said OMG THAT’S PERFECT, and like, yes, it absolutely is and everyone should read it.

Do you outline: I...sometimes. If something is writing long, or if I’m not going to have time to write as often as I would like, I will write down bullets for what happens next. But not always. Not even often. But sometimes.

Ideas I probably won't get around to but would be nice: Oh, the two stories I would kill to write but probably never will are the Blake AU where Mei Lin comes home with Lucien from China at the end of S1, and a Babylon 5 AU where Susan sticks around for season 5. Mostly because I don’t really write long AUs. I mean, at the very least, I would have to outline.

Best writing habits: Mine is using a beta reader. And like, this isn’t for everyone, and I know many authors who do perfectly well without one. But I adore having someone help me refine my thoughts and my words. My most recent story, but tell it slant (B5), really benefited from some small targeted revision. Writing with a beta takes me from good to really, really good, which I care about because I really want to do the best I possibly can for my characters.

Spicy opinions: Following on... I...kinda don’t get it when people say they don’t care if their stuff is good. Like, I sort of get it. It’s fandom. This is fun, and I want it always to be fun. This is our place, and I will defend to the absolute death everyone’s ability to write whatever they want and then some. I adore people who write only for themselves, kudos and comments and feedback be damned--what absolute, perfect confidence and love of a thing is that. I would never, ever want to discourage anyone from writing and publishing and being in this space in whatever way made sense for them.

But the folks who say they don’t care if they’re getting better, or if what they’re writing is decent. I just...huh. Do not grok. I’m not saying, like, we all have to be great at this. We don’t. God, I hope we don’t. I was once a teenager on the internet, back when the internet was young and (much differently) feral. I sucked. But I looked around at stories that blew me out of the water and said, how do I do that?? and have been genuinely trying my damnedest ever since.

So yeah. Less spicy, more genuine bafflement, I guess. You can get better and still have fun? Or something like that. I sound like your mother, but you know. Please stay and play on my lawn?

Tagging anyone who wants to play!

[lenniewip]

Unknown (A Sterek Wrong Number/Celebrity AU)

11.09 PM Unknown Number

>I’m writing songs about you again.

11.20 PM Unknown Number

>its stiles btw.

>in case you deleted my number

>I did.

>I mean I deleted yours.

>but I still remember it apparently

11:41 PM Unknown Number

>I only have 2 lines so far

11:57 PM Unknown Number

>I bleed you from my veins.

>I grieve you like I love you.

>alone.

>its better with the chords.

>u were always better at writing lyrics than me

12:34 AM Unknown Number

>u were better everything than me

2:00 AM Unknown Number

>I hate that I miss you

2:07 AM Unknown Number

>do u want to hook up?

>I promise not to propose again

2:15 AM Unknown Number

>im sorry.

>ignore me.

>im drinking

Derek blinked bleary eyes. His phone screen was the only source of light in his room, as he read through the flurry text messages.

What the hell is a Stiles?

2:17 AM Unknown Number

<I think you have the wrong number

>Lydia?

<no

>oh thank fuck

>I mean

>I’m sorry

>for disturbing ur sleep

>but im just glad I didn’t drunk text my ex all of this

>bullet dodged right?

>is this what near death experiences feel like?

<I wouldn’t know.

>of course

>hey

>seeming as I have you here can I ask you a quick q?

>all my friends are asleep

<probably because its 3am

<everyone’s asleep

>2.39

>and ur not

>asleep that is

>so?

>I’ll take your silence as a go ahead

>what do you think?

>of the lyrics

<im the wrong person to ask

>never experienced heartbreak?

<no

<all song lyrics just look like bad poetry to me

>oh

>yeah I guess it does

>not everyone can be Rupi Kaur tho right?

<do you want to be rupi kaur?

>sure

>not to be dramatic or anything

>but

>I want to be anyone but me

>think id rather be someone like regina spektor tho

<regina spektor?

>singer/song writer

>shes my fucking inspiration

>her lyrics are like poetry to me

>you should listen to her music

<I dont really listen to music

>what the fuck?

>are you an alien?

<no?

>nice fucking try ET

>thats exactly what an alien would say

<…you got me there

>akdjfen

>is this you admitting I was right?

<no

<but this is me going to bed

<because its now 4AM

>already?

>fuck

>ive got an early start tomorrow

>good night random stranger

>and thanks

>for listening

>or reading ig

<good night

//

“You’re late.” Laura frowned, arms crossed.

“Are you going to let me in?” Derek grumbled, still feeling the affects of having stayed up until 4AM the previous night.

Laura didn’t argue she just stepped aside to let him through into her flat. “You’re grumpier than usual.” She noted.

“Didn’t sleep well.”

Derek hated the look she gave him then.

The look that said he was broken. The look that said she wanted to fix him.

“Is…Is it the nightmares again?” Laura’s voice dipped to a whisper, like the question alone would be enough to send him over the edge.

“No.”

An awkward silence defended over the two of them, neither knowing what to say.

Derek clung to the silence like a blanket, wishing things could go back to how they used to be. Back to when they knew how to speak to one another.

But this was enough.

It was enough to know that they were both trying. Failing. But trying.

//

2:40 PM Laura

>I’m here if you need to talk.

//

Derek isn’t good at art, but sometimes it’s the only way he can express himself. Words had never been his forte.

So instead he doodles.

Shitty toddler level doodles that he never shows anyone.

Sometimes he thinks if he could bring himself to show Laura she would like it. Maybe she would even understand it.

But there was a bigger chance that she wouldn’t, and he would feel even more like a stranger to his own sister than he already was.

//

10:18 PM Unknown Number

>I don’t remember it anymore

<You have the wrong number again

>No

>This is ‘not Lydia’ right?

<right

>So here’s the thing.

>I always thought if I needed to text her I could

>And I thought maybe I got her number wrong because I was drunk

>But I can’t remember it anymore

<Oh.

>I have some of her things still

>I don’t think I’ll ever get to return it now

>Unless she messages me first

<When did you two break up?

>Last year

>and I know what you’re thinking

>’it’s October’

>and I should be over her by now

>Trust me I know

>So you don’t need to lecture me

<I wasn’t going to

>Oh

<Stiles?

>That’s weird

<what is?

>I forgot I told you my name

<You should throw away the stuff she left behind.

>you’re right

>I don’t like it.

>but you’re right

>…thanks

<What for?

>for listening

>reading**

>my friends are pretty sick of hearing me complain

>so this is nice

<sure

<anytime

>dope

>no take backsies

<am I going to regret this?

>for definite

>you’re stuck with me now

//

That night Derek saves Stiles’ number as ‘Bad Poet’.

//

Stiles keeps messaging after that.

Stiles messages like they’ve been friends for years, and Derek very determinedly does not analyse why it is he always responds.

Even when there are messages dated from Laura from three days ago that he hasn’t even been able to bring himself to open yet.

He also ignores how when he’s messaging Stiles the gaping pit that had made residence in his chest feels just a little less inescapable.

//

Derek can’t bring himself to tell Stiles his name. He can’t bring himself open up, even though there’s a large part of him that wants to.

He’s not above admitting he’s scared.

//

Derek draws Stiles sometimes.

More accurately he draws a vague pair hands texting on a phone, because he has no idea what Stiles actually looks like.

Derek refuses to let himself dwell on that though, because they are happy drawings.

The pictures of Stiles are pretty much his only happy drawings right now.

//

They don’t always talk about Lydia.

Sometimes Stiles messages Derek song lyrics he’s working on.

Other times it’s memes, or just a bunch of emojis.

Once Stiles had just messaged him what Derek could only assume was a list of everything he had eaten that day.

Sometimes Stiles messages in rambles - and Derek can’t always keep up with the boy’s run away thoughts, but even then he never feels lost the way he does when he’s trying to interact with literally anyone else.

And sometimes it’s 2AM. Those are simultaneously Derek’s favourite and least favourite texts.

//

2:02 AM Bad Poet

>sometimes I feel like too much

>and too little

>at the same time

>u ever feel like that ET?

<not really

>its like I’m infinite, and meaningless

>like a never ending echo

>or a recurring decimal

>I just stretch on and on forever but theres no point to it

>I have no depth

<youre not meaningless

<you’re a rhythm.

<like breathing

>…

>was that a regina spektor reference?

<it might have been

>I thought you didn’t listen to music?

<well someone said her lyrics were like poetry

<so I thought I would check out a few songs

>well fuck

>what did you think?

<she’s good

>you spelt ‘amazing’ wrong

<I still prefer poetry

>of course you do

Derek stared at the texts an ache filling his chest.

Derek was the opposite of infinite. Everything he touched turned to flames.

//

10:30AM Bad Poet

<my sister bought me flower seeds

>I didn’t know you had a sister?

<she’s everything I have

>oh

<and I think she’s trying to trick me into therapy somehow

>…with flower seeds?

<yes

>you sound extremely paranoid

>maybe therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you?

<shut up

>noted.

>keep me posted on how your gardening goes

>also

>as a side note

>you know you have me too right?

>if you ever need to talk or anything, I’m right here for you

<thanks

>anytime

//

On Derek’s birthday Laura insists the two of them spend the day together, and Derek knows better than to argue.

She buys him a cake and they spend hours sat next to one another silently. Two strangers desperately trying to keep hold of one another but with an ocean dividing them.

Once their family had been so alive.

And it was all Derek’s fault that was gone.

They both knew it.

Sometimes Derek wondered if Laura hated him as much as he did.

He was too scared to ask.

//

That night Derek chased the ache in his chest away with a drink.

And then several more followed.

//

1:14 AM Bad Poet

<seh haars me

>sorry bud, you’re going to have to try again

>try spell checking before hitting send

<she.hates mee

>who?

<larn

>are you drunk?

<yeh

<tyongs ndrf

*Out Going Call: Bad Poet*

The phone rings twice before being picked up. “Sorry. Stupid keyboard is so small. Impossible to type.” Derek mumbled, his words slightly muffled by his cheek being pressed into the sofa cushion.

“Wow. You’re really sloshed huh?”

“No.” Derek denied. “Just tipsy.”

“Right. So what was it you were trying to tell me? Someone hates you?”

“Laura.”

“Who’s Laura?”

“My sister.”

“Oh.”

“She looks at me like she wishes she could fix me.”

“That doesn’t sound like she hates you, bud.”

“She should. I can’t be fixed.”

“You’re right, because you’re not broken.”

Hearing Stiles say that Derek could almost believe it to be true.

“I mean it. You’re not broken. You’re just a different shape than you used to be. But the shape you are now is beautiful.”

Derek closes his eyes and lets the words wash over him. “Do you sing?” He finds himself asking.

“What?”

“I know you write songs, but do you ever sing?”

“Oh…” Stiles sounds uncomfortable. “I guess… Yeah. I do.”

Derek hummed in the back of his throat. “I bet you have a nice voice.”

“Th-thanks.”

Derek tried to say something else, but all that comes out is a yawn, which makes Stiles let out a jittery laugh.

Derek tries to memorise the sound of It, but it’s so fleeting, it’s already slipping away from him.

“I think you need to go sleep, ET.”

“Yeah.” Derek agrees.

“Goodnight bud.”

“Wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Could you stay on the phone? Just for a bit longer.” Derek clutched on to the phone like if he could grip tightly enough it would make Stiles stay.

I don’t want to be alone. The words die on Derek’s tongue.

“Sure.” Stiles didn’t hesitate. “Of course.”

“Thank you.”

Sleep pulled at Derek’s consciousness, unravelling his grip on reality.

“Stiles?”

Stiles hummed in answer.

“Your shape is beautiful too.”

A small whimper came from the other end of the phone. “Thanks.”

//

7:50 AM Bad Poet

>how are you feeling today?

<better

>good <3

Derek holds his phone tightly and wishes that he had more to say. Just to keep the conversation going.

He also wishes (not for the first time) that Stiles was more than a faceless entity on the other end of the phone.

But it’s the first time he feels the want like a physical ache in his chest.

Derek had never been good with words, but if Stiles was here in front of him Derek would probably give him a hug.

But everything Derek touches eventually dies, and a larger part of him is relieved for the distance.

//

Derek plants the seeds his sister got him that day.

//

9:48 PM Bad Poet

>would it totally weird you out if I wanted to do another phone call?

>don’t feel like you need to say yes

>I just enjoyed talking to you

>and hearing your voice

>ugh.

>why are words so hard?

<I wouldn’t be opposed to a phone call

*Incoming Call: Bad Poet*

“Hey.” Derek feels breathless as he answers the phone, anxious excitement clawing it’s way up his throat.

“Hey.” Stiles sounds equally out of breath, and that helps.

Derek chews on his lip, scrambling for something to say. “What did you want to talk about?”

“I don’t know.” Stiles admitted. “Anything.”

“Helpful.” Derek said sarcastically.

“I mean. There’s one thing. I didn’t want to ask when you were drunk because it felt a little like taking advantage. And I don’t want you to think you have to answer-”

“Stiles.” Derek interrupts before Stiles could break into a full blown ramble.

“Tell me your name.” Stiles breaks. “Please.”

Anxiety grips his heart. But… he couldn’t stay scared forever.

“It’s Derek.”

“Derek.” Stiles repeats his name in a reverent whisper, as if committing it to memory.

And hearing Stiles say his name makes everything worth it.

//

Phone calls become a regular thing between the two of them over the next month. Always between late in the evening and the early hours of the day.

//

The next time Derek spirals he doesn’t drink before he calls Stiles, but he does cry on the phone.

The next morning he wakes up to a text from Stiles.

6:42 AM Bad Poet

>you need to talk to your sister

And Derek knows he’s right.

//

It’s not easy confronting Laura. He has two separate anxiety attacks on the walk to her apartment alone.

But he forces himself to take the dive.

“It’s okay if you hate me.” He tells her, even though it’s not okay. Laura’s hate might be the only thing in the world that could break him beyond repair.

Laura looks horrified as she stares at him. “I don’t- Obviously I don’t hate you Derek.”

“It’s my fault that they’re gone.” Derek addresses the elephant in the room.

If he hadn’t fallen in love with Kate.

If he hadn’t broken up with her, just to try and prove a point when she refused to say ‘I love you’ back…

There never would have been a fire.

Their family would still be here if it wasn’t for him.

“Fuck that!” Laura let out a harsh noise. “Derek, none of this was ever your fault. You were a kid, and even if you weren’t… You never set the fire.”

“I might as well have.”

“No. If anyone… I was your big sister- am your big sister. But I was so fucking wrapped up in myself. I didn’t even know about Kate.”

The last time Derek had seen Laura cry it had been at the funeral, so it took a second to fully sink in what he was seeing.

He found himself crying to.

“I’m so sorry, Der.”

Derek stumbled forwards pulling Laura into a crushing hug. Laura hugs him back just as tight.

They spend hours refusing to let go of one another.

//

He realises he fell asleep on Laura’s sofa when he woke up to the sound of his phone ringing. But he had no idea where it was, and he was too tired to move.

He feels Laura moving and the sound of the phone ringing gets louder before cutting off abruptly.

“Hello?”

“No - Derek’s asleep.”

“Maybe call at a more reasonable time?”

“Who is this?”

“Your voice sounds familiar.”

“Right.”

“Okay. Bye.”

Derek let sleep over take him once more.

//

2:29 AM Bad Poet

>sorry for calling so late

>you’re asleep so I’ll just take to you tomorrow

//

9:07 AM Bad Poet

<sorry, I was really tried

>no worries man

>you’re allowed to have a life outside of me

<was something wrong?

>no I was just bored, and didn’t realise how late it had gotten

>im fine

>how are you?

<im good actually

<I spoke to Laura

>yeah?

>I’m proud of you

>how’d that go?

<we both cried

<a lot

<and I ended up falling asleep on her couch

>look at you, opening up and shit.

>think I might cry now

<shut up

>literally never

>better men have tried and failed to silence me

//

2:40 PM Laura

>Want to see a movie on Friday?

<sure

//

One night Stiles calls Derek just to say his name in stupid ways, and laugh himself stupid after each one.

“Duhreek.”

“Doreck.”

“Fuck. I’m getting a stitch from laughing.”

“You’re so fucking dumb.” Derek is smiling as he said it.

“Deeruk.” Stiles wheezes out.

Derek just closes hie eyes and listens.

“I’m so fucking glad I know you, Stiles.” The words fall out of Derek’s mouth without much thought.

He only realises the weight of his words when Stile’s laughter pulls to a stop.

“I uh-” Stiles stammered. “Me too. Fuck. You’re the best thing to happen to me in…so fucking long. I’m glad I know you too Derek.”

//

Derek finally admits to himself that night that he’d fallen at least a little in love with the stranger from the unknown number.

//

He keeps trying to draw Stiles, but he can’t. Vague shapes just don’t cut it anymore.

He wants to map Stiles out with his eyes and translate it onto the page.

He wants to be able to see the smile behind the laughter.

He wants.

//

1:58 AM Bad Poet

>do you think you day we’ll actually meet?

>maybe not intentionally

>maybe one day we’d pass each other in the streets and not even know

>maybe we already have

Derek couldn’t imagine a scenario where he wouldn’t notice Stiles.

<is there ever a moment when you’re not talking?

<I think id recognise your voice and know it was you

>maybe your face would make me speechless ;)

<I think id still know

<but if you want to be sure… I could send you a picture?

<of me

>dkfajd

>for reals?

>you would do that?

>you?

<well…not for free

>there’s always a catch

>what do you want?

>my soul?

>a blood debt?

>you can have whatever it is

<I meant you’d have to send me a picture too

<geez stiles

The next text takes an unnervingly long time to come through.

>I could do that

>a photo for a photo

>I kind of look like shit rn

>so no judging me

Derek spends the next two minutes fussing and fidgeting to take a good photo. No matter what angle he took it from the bags under his eyes were noticeable, and so was the week’s worth of stubble he had yet to shave off.

And maybe this was a terrible, awful, idea.

But Derek would send one hundred bad pictures if it meant getting to see one of Stiles.

He forced himself to press send on the last picture he took.

As he pressed send another photo came in.

Derek’s fingers shook as he hit the button to download the image.

His heart stopped.

Stiles was beautiful in every sense of the word, and Derek found himself unable to look away. Even when he heard the small dings of incoming messages.

But he couldn’t ignore them for long, because it was Stiles. And when ever Stiles messaged Derek had to answer.

>Fucking hell

>are you for real?

>you gave me a heart attack

>am I being catfished right now?

>when do you think you were going to tell me you’re the most fucking beautiful man to exist ever?

>how the hell to you look like that as 2AM!?

>Derek

>oh my god

>you gotta respond my dude because I’m freaking out a little bit

>still there?

>did my selfie scare you away?

>I would have tried harder for a nice photo if I knew I was talking to an adonis

>Derek?

<still here

>of thank fuck

>so…

<so?

>come on

>your going to give me a complex

>the selfie���was it okay?

>I know it’s not much

>but we can’t all be greek gods

<its beautiful

<you’re beautiful, stiles

>oh

>thanks

//

Derek is so far gone that he makes the picture of Stiles the home screen on his phone.

//

9:49 AM Bad Poet

<Laura wants me to meet her boyfriend

<this is all your fault

>how is this my fault?

<because she never wanted to introduce us before

<and then you got me to talk to my sister

<and now she wants me to meet him

>…and this is a bad thing?

<yes

>because?

<I don’t make good first impressions

<it’s going to be awkward

>yeah probably

<you’re not helpful

>I wasn’t trying to be ;)

>have fun, Derek!

//

Meeting Laura’s boyfriend wasn’t as awkward as Derek thought it was going to be. But it was strange.

Derek hadn’t been expecting to meet someone so soft and kind. He was nothing like any one that Laura had dated before.

But he also wasn’t used to seeing Laura smile as much as she did around him.

Maybe not all change was bad.

//

Derek tells Laura about Stiles by accident. Or more accurately he mentions Stiles once by accident (not even by name) and Laura had badgered him until he admitted that he had made a friend through a wrong number.

“There’s a lot of weirdos out there.”

“I know.”

God did Derek ever know.

But Stiles is different.

“Just…be careful.”

“I am being. I promise.”

Laura reluctantly lets it go after that. “So…what’s he like?”

“He’s…he’s like bad poetry.”

“Oh god. You’re in love with him aren’t you?”

Derek can’t bring himself to deny it, but he does tell Laura to shut up.

//

Derek fully embraces being in love with Stiles on the day he tells Stiles about his drawings. He’d never told anyone about them before - not even Laura. But telling Stiles had been easy.

‘It reminds me of line art’ Stiles had said when Derek had sent him a photo of the doodle he had been working on. “I love it’.

A warmth flutters through Derek’s veins.

//

It all goes sideways on the day Laura goes on Derek’s phone to check the time.

She’d raised one eyebrow at him looking amused.

“I thought you didn’t listen to music?” She said, a teasing note to her voice.

“I don’t.” Derek shrugged.

“A huh. So why do you have a picture of Stiles Stilinski as your wallpaper?” She asks.

It’s so startling to hear Stiles name coming out of Laura’s mouth that Derek’s brain refuses to function properly. “How do you know Stiles?” He asks weakly.

Laura laughs. “He’s not exactly a niche celebrity Der. He was a really famous YouTuber before he started selling albums.”

Derek doesn’t know what to say to that. He blinks as his world slowly unravels before him.

No.

She had to be wrong, because Derek couldn’t be in love with a celebrity. Stiles couldn’t be…

“Hey are you okay? You look really sick?”

“He’s famous?” His throat is dry.

“Yes? Are you okay? What’s wrong? You’ve got to speak to me Der. Use your words.”

Derek just shakes his head because he can’t.

“It’s him.” He manages to get out.

“What are you talking about?”

“Laura. It’s him.”

It takes a moment to click but Derek knows when it does because a look of thunderous wrath takes over Laura’s face.

“I’ll kill him.” She seethes, shaking with anger. “What kind of fucking punk thinks that this is a good prank to play?”

“What?”

“No one is getting away with catfishing you, Der. I’m going to hunt this fucker down, and then I’ll rip him so many new ones that he going to look like SpongeBob when I’m done with him.”

And god, Derek hadn’t even considered the thought that Stiles might not even be Stiles. The thought of Stiles being a liar…

The gape in his heart grows a little bit bigger.

And it all falls apart.

//

It takes hours before Derek can convince himself to confront Stiles.

11:08 PM Bad Poet

<you’re stiles stilinki

>fuck

(And yeah, it was really him).

>how did you find out?

<Laura

>I was going to tell you

<Were you?

>Yes

>I’ve wanted to for ages

>It just never felt like the right time to bring it up

<I wish you had decided on the right time was sooner

>Me too

>I’m sorry

>Please don’t hate me

Derek did not think it was possible for him to hate any part of Stiles.

<I don’t

>Thank fuck

>seriously

>can I call you?

<sure

Derek closed his eyes after sending the text and waited for Stiles to ring. A heartbeat later his ringtone sounded off.

“Hey.”

“You believe me right?” And Stiles sounds more frantic than Derek had ever heard him before.

“I believe you, Stiles.”

“Are you sure, because I can prove it if you want? I can do a video call? Or I can tweet literally anythi-”

“Stiles.”

“Yeah?”

“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”

Stiles lets out a small whine, that reaches through the phone line and yanks at Derek’s already tattered heart, unraveling him just a little more.

“Meet me.” Stiles said, taking Derek by surprise.

“What?”

“Please. I meant to throw a please in there, I’m just really fucking nervous right now. Meet me please. In real life. I uh- I was going to ask when I finally told you about the whole being a celebrity thing. It’s still weird to say that out loud. That’s part of why it was so hard to tell you. But the point was you beat me to the punch with the whole reveal thing, but I still wanted to ask.”

“Stiles…”

“And it’s not that I was trying to use my influence or fame to pressure you into meeting me. I just wanted to be in a space where we were one hundred per cent honest with one another before I asked you. You can still say no. Of course you can, I don’t know why I’m- my point is I hope you don’t say no.”

Derek feels his heart break in two.

“Stiles…I can’t.”

“Oh.”

He hadn’t fully realised just how many worlds apart the two of them were when he had fallen in love with Stiles. It felt even more impossible than it had before.

“I’m sorry.” The words leave him feeling hollow.

“No. Don’t apologise. This is just me getting carried away. It’s okay.”

I love you. The words never leave Derek. They can’t leave him.

There was no way this could work, and he was far too scared of breaking the tentative connection they had with his useless words.

It was better for him to just… fall out of love.

//

6:17AM Laura

<it’s really him

>are you sure

<I’m sure

>what are you going to do?

<nothing

>Derek you’re in love with him

<I’m aware

<it doesn’t matter

<it wouldn’t ever work

>I’m sorry

<don’t be

<I’m going to be fine

>Im coming over with wine

//

That night Derek fills pages and pages of his notebook with drawings of Stiles.

When he gets a message from Stiles at 11PM- for the first time since they started messaging- Derek leaves it unopened.

//

He never ignores a message again after that, and life moves on. Stiles still messages him all the time, but he never asks to call anymore.

Derek misses his voice so much that he goes onto youtube and listens to his music.

He buys all three albums Stiles released and it still doesn’t feel like enough.

//

He fills an entire notebook with doodles of Stiles.

It’s still not enough.

//

1:11 PM Bad Poet

>I wrote you a song

>I know you don’t listen to music

>but it felt weird to not a least send you a link

>bad poetry at 2:00am

The link leads Derek to a youtube video of Stiles holding a ukulele and staring with a soft smile at the camera.

“Hey guys. It’s been a while, huh? But I guess I finally found inspiration. So here we go.”

The song is beautiful, but even more beautiful than that was Stiles.

When the song reached the end Derek doesn’t hesitate to hit replay.

He listens to the song ten times before he realises he’s crying - and he knows that he’s never going to ‘get over’ Stiles because he doesn’t want to.

//

3:00 PM Laura

>have you seen the video?

<he sent me a link

<he wrote a song for me Laura

<I love him so fucking much and he wrote a song for me

>fuck

<what do I do?

>what do you want to do?

<I don’t know

>I think you should look at his twitter

<?

>I wasn’t going to say anything because you said you wanted to get over him

>but I think you need to see it

>@stilesstilinki

//

@stilesstilinski

I want to hug him

@stilesstilinski

Get you a guy that will stay up with you until 4AM talking about literally anything

@stilesstilinski

Why do I alway fall for people so far out of my league? rip me I guess.

@stilesstilinski

He makes me want to write poetry

Derek spends hours scrolling through Stiles’ twitter.

He scrolls far enough back that he gets to the part of his timeline where his twitter is littered with pictures of Lydia, which causes the ache in Derek’s chest to grow. But he can’t stop looking because Stiles looks so happy.

And Derek falls impossibly more in love.

He lets himself acknowledge for the first time that Stiles might love him back.

And everything else?

It’s worth it.

Because Stiles is worth everything to Derek.

//

2:00 AM Bad Poet

<so I looked at your twitter

>fuck.

>how much did you see?

<all of it

>tight

>please excuse me while I go die now

>bye

<don’t leave yet

<I had something I wanted to ask you

>did you want me to delete the tweets?

>I can do that

>I’ll just delete the whole account

>I am my own worst enemy so this won’t be a problem

>actually Jackson Whittemore is my worst enemy

>but I’m a close second

<stiles?

>yup?

<Will you go on a date with me?

>alkdjf

>yes?

>Ofc yes?

>are you being serious?

>because this would be a cruel prank if you’re not serious

<I’m serious

>yes.

>yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes.

>holy shit

>theres no fucking universe where I say ‘no’ to that question from you

>im so fucking in love with you

>is it too soon to say that?

>I don’t even care

>I’m speaking my truth

>you obviously don’t have to say it back

>im going to woo you so hard Derek

>you’ll have to love me back eventually

>I’m going to write you poetry

>hell I’ll even read poetry for you

>ill give the whole fucking moon to you

<why would I want the moon?

<im not gru?

>despicable me

>that was a despicable me reference.

>you don’t listen to music, but you watch despicable me?

>you’re such an enigma to me Derek

>god I love you so much

<stiles?

>too much?

<no

<I don’t think I could ever have too much of you

<I love you too stiles

<so much

<I just don’t want you to get your hopes up

<I might not be able to live up to it in real life

>impossible

<seriously stiles

>I am being serious

>I’m already in love with you Der

>you don’t have to do anything more than you’ve already done

>you could wear a potato sack, and spend the whole night not saying anything at all

>and I would still be in love with you

>all you have to do now is show up

<…I can do that

>perfect

//

TWO YEARS LATER

@stilesstilinski

Hey @JacksonWhittemore, remember when you told me I would die alone? Well I just got engaged to the love of my life. So checkmate fucker.

[nostalgiaispeace]

1950.

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? i think i do a good mix

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? no

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? i use bookmarks

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? coffee = sugar. tea = sugar and honey

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? yeah

6: do you keep plants? no

7: do you name your plants? -

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? poetry

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? sure

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? side

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? idk

12: what’s your favorite planet? earth

13: what’s something that made you smile today? my husband

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? idk...bookish

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! no.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? pesto

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? blonde

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. idk

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? sometimes

20: what’s your favorite eye color? blue

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. it is a lana del rey tote.

22: are you a morning person? no

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? tumblr, watching a movie or reading

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? yeah

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? not my thing

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? idk

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? peppermint

28: sunrise or sunset? sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? idk

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yeah

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. i’m not a fan anymore; sure; no; no

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. we went to bed

33: what’s your fave pastry? i’m not really a pastry person

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? it’s a frog; nanny; a frog; yes

35: do you like stationery and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? sure; no

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? none

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i don’t really care tbh

38: tell us about your pet peeves! leaving out dirty dishes

39: what color do you wear the most? black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? it’s my wedding band, yes

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? troubled blood

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! no

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? idk

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? yesterday

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? sure

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. no

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? sushi

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? loved ones dying, yes

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? yes; AA like a house on fire

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? nothing odd

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? helpless

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? idk

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? yes, no, yes, yes, i like them fien

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idk

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? idk

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? idk

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? no, it makes me happy tho

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? idk

59: what’s your favorite myth? idk

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yeah sure. i like emily dickinson and lana’s

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? idk

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? no

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? music yes books no. no

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? blue

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? jordan

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? peaceful actually

68: what’s winter like where you live? COLD

69: what are your favorite board games? Life

70: have you ever used a ouija board? no

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? chamomile

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yes

73: what are some of your worst habits? biting my nails i guess

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. no

75: tell us about your pets! she’s my baby

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? yeah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? idk

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? off white, no

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. nooooo

82: are/were you good in school? yeah

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? idk

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? not really

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? i have, the umbrella academy

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? sure

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? not sure

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? idk

89: are you close to your parents? my mom

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. no

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no where

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? drowns it

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? bun

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? my dad

95: what are your plans for this weekend? chill

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? depends on my mood

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? idk, capricorn, hufflepuff

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? idk not my thing

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. no

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? back.

[basscannonjack]

1-100 SPEED RUN

Ama. How could you do this to me

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

Lactose intolerant, only eat cereal dry

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

yes, but not for too long

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

i just try to remember lmao

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

don’t like coffee, drink tea plain or with some sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

not as much as I used to be!

6: do you keep plants?

I have one (1) cactus that I haven’t killed in the 9 years I’ve had it

7: do you name your plants?

sometimes!

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

music or writing

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

ALWAYS

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

I generally fall asleep on my stomach and wake up on my back

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends?

I HAVE YOU NOW

12: what's your favorite planet?

Neptune, probably!

13: what's something that made you smile today?

my SON asking me ALL THE QUESTIONS

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

oh god, probably a bit of a mess

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

the ISS was launched on the day of my birth, so it’s been in space *literally* my entire life

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

just plain ol’ chicken alfredo

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

keeping it silver baybeee

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

oh man, there are so many, but i’ll go with the time that Roman got coke to fizz through my nose by making me laugh too hard

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

no journal, only very similar looking notebooks to doodle and write in

20: what's your favorite eye color?

hazel!

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

my Bag of Holding! snapped the clasp on it a few years back though

22: are you a morning person?

not at all!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

SLEEP

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Ashe, of course

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into?

I had to break into my own safe at my old job, does that count?

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

I’d say my boots, but I just got a new set, so the older ones

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Spearmint or wintergreen

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunrise

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

I just love seeing my friends blush

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

yes, I won’t go into detail

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

SOCKS SOCKS SOCKS I used to collect weird socks, now I just have a bunch of fun dress socks lmao

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

driving everyone home at 4 am and seeing other people on the road and going “you should be in bed!” at them

33: what's your fave pastry?

lemon meringue pie

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

Teddy a winnie the pooh bear that I still have!

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I adore new pens

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?

uhhhh I’ve been listening to a lot of Rise Against and ABBA lmao

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

nearly anything my brother does 

39: what color do you wear the most?

black or blue

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

my claddagh ring from my grandmother, i don’t have much else from her

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving?

not the last book but there was one about a girl having a single dragon finger that I remember reading so many times that I unfortunately don’t know the name of, or the Tamora Pierce Lioness series

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

Don’t like coffee!

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

James <3

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

I do not :’)

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

not as much as I probably should

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I’ve been changing my username to a different halloween themed pun for all of October, I’m all burnt out

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

Balut, it icks me out

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

heights, and yes :’)

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I got a record player fairly recently, I have some P!atD ones, Foo Fighters, and Imagine Dragons

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

rocks

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

Bitch by Meredith Brooks for my eldest sister

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

the ones we’ve made in our server

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

all of the above except Pulp Fiction, I’m not really a movie person but I *am* a musical person

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

my dad

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point?

Cotton Eyed Joe in six inch heels

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

honesty and passion in an interest

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

I just vibe and belt, y’know

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

can they both be me

59: what's your favorite myth?

the soup with a rock in it!

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

Where the Sidewalk Ends was always a good one

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received?

a coffee cup drinking horn for my dad, and some painted rocks from my brother

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

it would be apple juice if I did

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

not at all

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

greyish, the sun is just about to rise

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with?

My eldest sister

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

ROSES

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

give them to me, I love them

68: what's winter like where you live?

COLD

69: what are your favorite board games?

Monopoly and LIFE

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

no thanks

71: what's your favorite kind of tea?

raspberry or orange for fruit and mint

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

no, but I do write things down anyways

73: what are some of your worst habits?

I lose things all the time

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

STARDUST SOULMATE

75: tell us about your pets!

I have a Min Pin named Lily

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

Sleeping

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

*insert ick emoji*

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

decorated my band locker to celebrate my birthday

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

beige, but I hung up a bunch of posters!

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

when the sun hits very rich dirt where a tree used to be

82: are/were you good in school?

best in class in math with a 101.8 but I also rarely did homework so uh

83: what's some of your favorite album art?

Too Weird To Live, Too Rare To Die

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

Dragon on the shoulder blade, roses on the left arm, Exalt on the right

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

webcomics! Barbarous, currently

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

:? not sure what that means

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

TREASURE PLANET

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

nope!

89: are you close to your parents?

my dad!

90: talk about your one of your favorite cities.

don’t really have a favorite, in all honesty

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

I was supposed to go see Ashe for their birthday but maybe next year!

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

CHEESE CHEESE CHEESE

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most?

uhhh it’s usually short enough to do nothing lmao

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

I have a friend’s bday tomorrow!

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

WORK

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

bit of both

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

INTP, Scorpio, Ravenclaw

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

last year? maybe the one before? I did! but my heart didn’t

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

How Far We’ve Come, Matchbox Twenty

The Call, Backstreet Boys

I2I, from the Goofy Movie Soundtrack (lmao)

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

the future! I’ve had my time in the past, no changing it now

[its-norea-wong]

Yall don know crap about me so here:

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal than milk. I don like to have a bowl full of milk after.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a winter-y day? Yes.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Random pieces of old sketch paper I have lying around everywhere.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I drink green tea as is. I’ll have that or cocoa, with milk and sprinkles.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? Yes, I don smile often.

6: do you keep plants? Yes, I have a small sunflower in my window.

7: do you name your plants? Yes, her name is Vivi. Don fuking judge me.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? I use oil paints.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? Yeah, I hum to the music I play when I draw, sketch and/or paint.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? Sleep? Hah, I don’t, but If I take my sleeping pills like I’m suppose to, usually on my side.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? Er allein, dem die Jugend gehört, gewinnt die Zukunft.  

12: what’s your favorite planet? Saturn.

13: what’s something that made you smile today? Watching Shiloh trip and fall.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? I’m not going to live in the city once I finish school.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! It would take nine years to walk to the moon.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish? Ramen.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? I want to get rid of the blonde patch at my routes.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.  When I learnt German only to give our Jewish history teacher wwII flash backs. Nate was mad. I didn’t care.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Yes and just small outfit ideas.

20: what’s your favorite eye color? Blue, purple or orange. Why? Idfk.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My hello kitty little backpack that I brought with me from japan, I now use it as a purse when I go shopping. It confuses people.

22: are you a morning person? hell. no.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Lay in bed till 4 pm.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Fuck no.

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? The boy’s dorm room.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My black and pastel coloured converse.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? bubblegum.

28: sunrise or sunset? sunrise. I’m not a morning person but it looks nice.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? no.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? yes, when? I wont tell, unless asked.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. They’re okay ig, yes?, no, no, and no thanks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I can’t really hang out with friends at 3 AM.

33: what’s your fave pastry? dessert mochii.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? It’s name is Kuma. It’s a brown fluffy bear. yes i do.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? not anymore, I used to write to my mom while I was at school.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? Bo burnham. That’s it.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? Clean.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! JB. just JB hitting on. every. single. guy. That or Shiloh. Just Shiloh being Shiloh. Also Bae thinking he’s better than everyone else.

39: what color do you wear the most? Black.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? I own a small necklace with purple beads. It has meaning to me I guess.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?  The One Safe Place.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! No.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? JB. 

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? When I was 11.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yeah.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. uhhhhh. To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? Store bought ramen. It’s so gross.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Thunder and Lightning, and yes.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? The last CD I bought? Beetlejuice the musical.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect? Knifes. Pencils.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? uhh. Jeremy with sad song by scotty sire.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? Ugandan knuckles, i know its dead but it’s still my favorite.

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i love beetlejuice.

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? idfk.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? I climbed up a shelf at the library to prove that I could be tall.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? no.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? im not answering this one.

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? uhh idk.

59: what’s your favorite myth? Any Japanese urban legend.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? uhh. no.

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? I once gave away some floppy hat that my step dad gave me.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Yes, pineapple.

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? Yes. I make sure they’re organized on genre and then in the genre it’s alphabetized.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? blue.

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? My mom, but in order to do that, i’d have to die. :)

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Pink daises and sunflowers, small ones, plus some bits of lavender.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Happy, it’s nice.

68: what’s winter like where you live? no snow, it’s like 60 degrees.

69: what are your favorite board games? idk.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? ya.

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea? green.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? No, i have an okay memory.

73: what are some of your worst habits? I bounce my leg around whenever i’m not moving, that or I flick my pencil around.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. big ass hole.

75: tell us about your pets! I only have one and she’s a blind kitty. She’s white with spots and has a fluffy tail.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? My homework.

77: pink or yellow lemonade? pink.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? uhh i really don’t care

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? I was given a flower by some girl during lunch, i never got her name though.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? white, i didn’t get to choose cus I live in a dorm room.

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. northern star.

82: are/were you good in school? ya i am.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art? idk.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? no.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Ya i guess, and deadpool.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? no. not really.

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? my neighbor totoro, kikis delivery service.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? not really.

89: are you close to your parents? I was close with my mom.

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. tokyo. i don’t have to explain.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? no where.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? i don’t put cheese on my pasta.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? Shaved under my lil floof bangs.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?  Jeremy.

95: what are your plans for this weekend?  Draw.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? I update immediately.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INTJ - The Mastermind, libra, and huffle puff.

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? idk and no.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. no.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? 5 years into the past, and for reasons.

[hanramm156]

Rammstein Family Game: Get to know me! (Warning: a long ramble)

I’m honored to be tagged by @cherrisplace​ and @momoredcrow​. ^^ It’s been a pleasure to read other people’s Rammstein memories and opinions, so here comes mine as well. Writing is one of those rare things that keep me sane during this crazy season, so I apologize this being super long. More rambling is probably coming when everything’s cancelled and I have nothing else to do.

Rules: There are no rules. Tag whoever you want. Don’t tag yourself. Tag yourself. You don’t have to answer all the questions. Do what you please. Have fun.

Created by: @vapor-stein

1. I’m curious: when did you discover Rammstein?

2004 properly, but I might have heard Du hast or other popular songs even earlier.

2. Tell me your story. How did you discover them?

As said, it was 2004 and I was watching some random Finnish music show. Back in the days, I watched a lot of music videos from the tv and recorded my favorite ones to VHS. One evening Rammstein’s Amerika came from the show and I was like “??? What on earth is this??? Sounds interesting…”. I wasn’t into metal music back then (I mostly listened to indiepop and alternative rock), but for whatever reason, I got hooked instantly to this German band’s dark, eerie sound. It was refreshing to hear something else than English and the video was also thrilling.

Rammstein had intruded my mind already, but the final straw was when I saw the Mein Teil video. I liked both the song and the video A LOT - so much that I even felt kinda “dirty” for liking something this dark. A 14-year-old me was constantly asking from myself that: “am I even allowed to like this kind of stuff this much?”. The backstory for the song was creepy, but so mesmerizing – like I had been introduced to the darkest corners of human mind: yes, this kind of stuff happens, and we shouldn’t close our eyes from it. So next, the only thing I could do was to buy Reise, reise album, listen to it on loop and sketch my German notebook full of Rammstein lyrics. Here’s a proof:

I have so many stories about my relationship to Rammstein that I might have to write them all down now when there’s a lot of time.

3. Favourite song?

This topic would be worth a novel itself, but here are some of my favorites:

Asche zu Asche – So badass, gives me such an energy every time – plus, not to forget the burning microphones and SILVER REESH!

Bück dich – Yes, it’s a horrible story once again in this song, but I can’t help but to admit that the song is freaking catchy and in a weird way, hot. Also, there’s a funny backstory when I was in 9th grade and we almost performed this song in our official graduation party with my boyfriend and a bunch of our friends (maybe good that the idea was abandoned in the end…). We had a vague clue what the song was about, but we just thought it was funny – also, our German teacher dressed always in leather and loved Rammstein (she played us Bestrafe mich during one class and I’ll always remember the awkward atmosphere) so we were thinking to dedicate the song to her for as our goodbye. XDD Seriously, why I have been so weird for all my life…

Sehnsucht – In most of the pop songs, longing is described by tender words and soft lyrics, but not in Rammstein’s case. I’ve had this weird feeling of “longing” all my life that I can’t describe properly. It’s kind of an inner emptiness, only arts and music can help to deal with it when it hits. I think Sehnsucht describes so realistically what is longing about in reality: it’s this angry pressure in your heart which you want to get out of your chest but can’t. In the end, you just want to scream your lungs out.

Mein Herz brennt – Powerful song that always gives me goosebumps. I can’t even explain why. Maybe the fact that “tough” men being emotional is my soft spot and Rammstein hits that spot hard.

Links 2-3-4 – I have always been kind of a rebel and I feel like when everyone else is going to the “right” I have to go to the left, to the unknown. My heart is longing for adventure, for the paths the others are not going. I dunno, but this is such a powerful song for me. When I hear it, I always just want to jump around. In Tampere concert I went totally nuts when Links started as the second song, lol. From that moment I felt like I was back home with my boys.

Mein Teil – No need for further explanations anymore.

Los – The harmonica solo!!! The dropped c tuning and the acoustic sounds!! I love it.

Amour – My favorite R+ ballad. I confess that I listen to this and think about the lyrics when I’m in the mood for writing something painfully romantic.

Weit weg – There’s this painful longing once again that always resonates to me. I listened this to a lot after the “after blues” of Ratina concert.

Tattoo – A song that I didn’t care about so much at first, but for whatever reason, it’s almost my favorite from the new album nowadays. It’s catchy as hell and I like the “rattling” guitar riffs.

4. Least favourite song? Come on. I know you have one.

Feuer frei – Too much Vin Diesel vibes. I also get a picture of drunken, middle-aged Finnish guys on a R+ gig who don’t care about to band, but just want to have a party of their life and get drunk, far away from their wives. (No offense to anyone, but as music is almost like a religion to me, I can’t help but to have a bit of disrespect for kind of people who just “consume” music.)

Pussy – Both musically and lyrically, so bad, but I get the point the guys tried to give with this nonsense.

5. Favourite album? & 6. Least favourite album? aka. I ramble about all the albums.

Tough one… as the rules were vague, I decided to have a short opinion about each of the albums.

Herzeleid – Summary: a bunch of guys, born and raised in DDR, are tired of everything so they get together and play aggressive songs - you can almost smell the testosterone miles away while you are listening to this album. I have to admit that I love this album even though it’s not musically super creative. It’s just raw men with raw feelings – and I have to say, it works for me.

Sehnsucht – I was creeped out of the album art as a teenager, lol. But yeah, musically improved from the former one and there are some classic songs that make Rammstein as they are nowadays. I listen to this often when I’m driving.

Mutter – The album that they had the most struggles with if I have understood correctly. The pain can be heard through the songs and it’s so honest and raw. I lost my friend in 2004 tragically and this album was one of the things that kept me sane back then. Especially the beginning of the album (MHB, Links, Sonne) hits me hard in the guts.

Reise, reise – The album that started all this hype in me, so it has a special place in my heart. I also liked how they tried something different to their usual sounds in this one, like orchestral and acoustic songs.

Rosenrot – To be honest, this album has always left me a bit “cold”, so I cannot even make a real opinion of it. There are some good moments though, like Mann gegen Mann that really speaks to me.

Untitled: This has been on the loop since last August and I was honestly surprised how good the album was. I hadn’t listened to Rammstein for a while, but when I got this album to my hands after the concert, holy shit it hit me. I like hearing the path the guys have gone: their new music is much more mature than the first angry albums. Also, I love Till’s poetry in this one, like Was ich liebe and Weit weg.

I think I answered the question #7 already, so I’ll skip to #8.

8. Unpopular opinion about a member? A scandal? Anything?

Even though I appreciate Till as an artist and a poet, I don’t find his appearance attractive. You can throw rotten tomatoes at me now, but this is just my opinion, no means to offend anyone. Maybe the reason is that my taste for men tends to go for androgynous side, so I am not drawn towards very masculine men.

I’m not interested in Lindemann project and I don’t like their music so much, but the tour looked entertaining though. I bet all the people who attended had a lot of fun.

How Richard pronounces English is extremely sexy to my ear, even though it clearly sounds like a German guy trying to sound American - still, it’s like honey to my ears. Stupid man who makes my knees weak with everything he does.

I hate to admit that I don’t like Ohne dich so much. I don’t know why. :(

9. Have you ever seen them live? Tell me what you felt.

Three times this far! Oh man, I could talk about for hours how the concerts have made me feel, but I try to be reasonable now.

Ruisrock, Turku, 2005 – My first time seeing them live – and going to a festival without any adult supervision, so it was a special experience overall – and they blew my mind. It was raining and thundering and we were completely soaked with my friends, but it was worth it!

Bonus for everyone who managed to read this far: teenage me waiting for Rammstein to start playing, looking so badass with my denim jacket and R+ logo drawn with eyeliner. :D

Hartwall Arena, Helsinki, 2012: We went to the show together with my boyfriend to celebrate Valentine’s day and holy shiiiiit it was awesome. Hands down one of the best evenings of my life. I was so hooked to Rammstein afterward that when we were at my bf’s family’s cottage, his brother had to tell me to stop blasting Herzeleid all the time in the kitchen. :’D

Ratina Stadium, Tampere, 2019: Aka. byebye my life, say hello to fics, listening to the band all over again, stupid memes and all the content this fandom creates. I fell in love again with Rammstein during this concert.

I have tickets for Düsseldorf and Tallinn, but now I can only wait and stress that will Corona ruin everything. In that case, I’ll weep alone and write fics about the tour 2020 that ended up never happening.

10. Do you play any instruments? If you do can you play any song by them?

Yeah, I play guitar and piano but nowadays I mostly sing. Rammstein songs are super easy to play with guitar and I recently learnt to play Tattoo and Sex. Have been practicing Engle on piano as well. Some songs I like to sing are Deutschland, Tattoo and Engel. The “speaking” parts are difficult though. ^^;

I’m not sure who I could tag to this who hasn’t done it already, but I’ll try my luck: @ah-its-too-much​ @soronya​ @einemelodie​ @xiaolianhuax​ @so-darya-darya​ @maximaembra​ @kvidasjuklingur​

[reneehearts]

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? NG, underwater- RÜFÜS du sol

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? I still like baby yoda

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? Heathers - love, pulp fiction- good. The others haven’t seen

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? NG

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? I’m not positive

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Quirks, mannerisms, sayings they have, passions, loving their family

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? I can’t listen rn but I love that song and def sing dramaticly

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? I don’t really have a friend group rn

59: what's your favorite myth? I cant think of any myths rn

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? Nope do not like poetry

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? Given- I don’t give stupid gifts, received prob a mug and pencils from really good family friends I was like that’s what you’re giving me? So impersonal

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Nope, coffee

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? A lil fussy but not about them being organized

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Gray

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? Yeah couple ppl

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Sunflowers and daisies

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? Depends on my plans for the days

68: what's winter like where you live? Cold and gross

69: what are your favorite board games? Life, trouble, checkers

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Not for real

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? Black

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? For the most part yeah

73: what are some of your worst habits? Overthinking, impatience, get attached quickly

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Awesome, fun, exciting, amazing, gorgeous

75: tell us about your pets! I live with 5 dogs, 4 are my parents and 1 is mine. An Aussie and she is my baby

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Nah

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? Uh no

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? Planned a surprise meeting for my friends in my bday even when he wasn’t friends with them. Got me a hand painted drawing of my dog for a present, made me dinner and breakfast

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Light purple and yes bc I love purple

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Uhm I’m too lazy for this

82: are/were you good in school? Yeah A/B student

83: what's some of your favorite album art? Misadventures

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I have 9 and I want another one, a sunflower

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? Nope

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? Huh?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Gone girl, remember the Titans, the lion king

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? Dance

89: are you close to your parents? Kinda

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Nyc - even tho it’s crazy and I complain about it I feel kinda at home there

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? Uh as of now nowhere bc it’s 2020

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? Sprinkles

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Bun

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Jen

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Hopefully going out with my friend and meeting up with some ppl we know

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Def procrastinate

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Zodiac for sure

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? A couple years ago and yeah!

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. To build a home, the walk, sundrenched world, the nicest thing, slow dancing in a burning room, underwater, August, exile, cardigan

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? I think past bc I want to relive some of my favorite moments

[ravencromwell]

Ten Songs Meme

Was tagged by the brilliant @chamerionwrites to list the ten songs I've been listening to.

1. By My Side by Lorrie Morgan Ft. Jon Randall--look y'all, 90's country was the first music genre I listened to--thanks to my father, who'd grown up on the old stuff, and liked the renaissance. An enduring love of it is the thing that was the only good thing he left in the rubble of his wake. Now, in the 90's, country hadn't become virtually indistinguishable from pop; there was less twang, which I was never fond of, except for a little Willie Nelson--, but that iconic sound of fiddles and steel guitar still permeated everything. And I was in musical paradise, since it came so close to my recent but equally beloved folk; everything circles round and all that. One day, I'll do a meta on my top five queens, and maybe a king or two, of 90's country, but for now, suffice it to say Lorrie was bona fide royalty in my book

2. It only takes one shot by Lera Lynn--True Detective's second season is closely tied with its third for some of the TV that compelled me on a visceral id level in the last couple years, and Lera Lynn's gaining of a wider audience is this brilliant gift it graced us with. Some of the most viscerally gutting lyrics delivered in a voice that'd make the angels weep, this is probably my favorite Lynn song and invariably cycles back into my playlists every half year or so.

3. Running Through A Garden by Fleetwood Mac If my father gave me country, my Mom gave me an appreciation for 80's rock. No 70's, so that's a genre I'm still learning, but oh, how she loves her 80's, and as far as she's concerned, Stevie Nicks is fuckin' queen. Even when we can't talk about anything else, we can talk Stevie. Round about two years after Dad left, she was sick and tired of country blasting through the house; she'd already put up with it from him and she was sure as shit not putting up with it anymore. She had a spot of luck, because Fleetwood Mac got it in their heads in 2003--christ I just had to look that up I was only nine that feels surreal-- to produce Peacekeeper. And they put Stevie everywhere. This is my favorite track from that album, and yeah, I'm still fluent enough in a certain Ameri-centric 80's rock to wipe the floor with everyone in Google's Song Quiz. Fleetwood's another band where something from them is almost guaranteed to be in rotation.

4. Magpie To The Morning by Neko Case--My God, Neko. What can you say? When I want poetry that makes story, I go to Anais Mitchell; when I want one of the most unique voices you'll ever find, and images so simultaneously vivid and surreal they'll forever stick with you, I go to Case. This's another first intro to an artist track for me, and I realize how much I, too, have clearly been impacted by end-of-decade nostalgia.

5. Traveler by Chris Stapleton--Stapleton is one of the new country artists blowing my mind; a voice so distinctive and skilled my Mom will cheerfully break her no country rule for him, and that's saying something. It also says something that she introduced me to him, though this wasn't the intro song; for once, I introduced her to this track, and it's my favorite of Stapleton’s to write to, though not necessarily fav overall.

6. Dusk To Dawn by Zayn Ft. Sia--Another Mom intro--and yeah, if you're getting the distinct impression our familial connection is mostly maintained by talking music and nothing else, you'd be dead right. But oh, what a glorious banger this is! Introduced last year and still in rotation, to prove its quality.

7. Annachie Gordon by Loreena McKennitt--A. it's McKennitt and she's a queen. B. one of the most vocally moving, brilliantly arranged versions of this I have or ever will hear. All soaked in lovelorn tragedy as any good Celtic standard should be.

8. I Can't Make You Love Me by Gladys Knight--when my family had its giant Christmas/Thanksgiving combo meetup, Mom was feeling deprived of her The Masked Singer, because second husband is a remote dragon. (Premise being famous people create characters and then perform masked, with suitable dramatics upon their reveal.) My decision to be a good human and indulge her is one of my best of late, because there was this powerhouse voice posing as the Bee, which turned out to be Miss Gladys Knight, who I will shame-facedly admit I had never sought out. A. rectified that. B. her cover of Can't Make You Love Me was her last and best performance of the show and I have furiously sought out every live version.

9. Stockholm by Jason Isbell--Fell in love with Jason about a year back, just as I was entering my folk craze. Still absolutely one of the best. And oh hell this track; so evocative of homesick and lonely and grief. It guts me every damn time, and is just so damn beautifully arranged and performed it leaves me breathless.

10. A Drowning by How To Destroy Angels--This is all @tobermoriansass 's doing. She made her own phenomenal version of this and reminded me how much I fuckin adore Nine Inch Nails which inevitably led back to Angels. Vocally haunting, with fab eerie techno instrumentals--I fucking loved this when I first heard it and love it just as passionately now.

Not gonna tag ten, but if @maggieandthedragon who always has fab music thoughts;

@coffeesugarcream @werpiper both of whom I don't think I've ever discussed music with which's a damn travesty since they're both phenomenal creatives and @mainecoon76 who also falls into the fuckin glorious music camp, wanna play, feel free. And any of my other mutuals/followers; I never. ever get tired of chatting music; come play if you're so inclined. 　

[callioope]

Questions Meme!

Hello, yes, this HAS in fact been sitting in my drafts for ages and ages. Thank you to both @crazy-fruit and @ruby-red-inky-blue for tagging me and for waiting forever for me to answer (oops)! I’m sorry I took so long, but y’all ask really good questions and I had to think about some of them!

Question Set 1

1. How are you?

Oh, I’m doing alright! Thank you for asking. The earlier part of this year was rather rough, but therapy has been helping. I’ve been rather busy these past few weeks with traveling, and my schedule going forward is rather busy, too, so while I’m excited for those things, I’m also excited for the eventual moment I can just relax.

2. What would you say are your talents?

Writing. Making fancy color-coded spreadsheets. I’ve been told that my super power is getting random (annoying) songs stuck in other people’s heads. Does that count as a talent? 

3. If you had the chance to start your life again, would you take it?

NOPE. No thanks. I like where I am at right now, and I would not want to relive my awkward years. Er, at least, my more awkward, younger years. Cuz I’m totally still awkward. Just less awkward. I hope?

4. Which language would you like to speak instantly? 

HMM. ALL OF THEM. It’s really hard to choose! 

Language fascinates me, and in another life I feel like I would have devoted a lot more time to learning more of them. Unfortunately, I really hated German class in high school because of the teacher’s tendency to put people on the spot -- I think that is sort of inherent in a language class, but I get anxiety speaking in public. 

Anyways, I suppose I’ll answer Turkish to this question, since spouse and I keep saying we’re going to try to learn Turkish via Duolingo. For the record, my HS offered six languages, which was the most I’ve ever heard of an American school offering, and I was always quite happy with my choice of German. (The others were Spanish, French, Italian, Chinese, and Latin.) I do wish I had maintained my German better, and I that I had more time to learn Spanish. 

5. Where would you like to be right now?

Honestly? I’m pretty happy when I’m at home. But if I had to answer where “else” would I like to be right now, out of the whole world? Being back on safari in Botswana is a top contender, as are a variety of places in Turkey, and also Munich. 

6. What name would you give yourself?

I’ve always liked my actual name (Elizabeth). I know I go by Liz; one of my HS friends was quite stubborn and I’m a bit stuck with it now, but I don’t mind it. There are worse nicknames that come from Elizabeth. I used to go by Fiona online; I’ve always been fond of that one. 

7. What is something you’re currently learning?

OOF, what a good question. I sorta blanked on this at first, and my first thought was uhhhh learning how to cope with my OCD??? I’m doing exposure therapy right now, ish. Emphasis on the ish. Also mindfulness. Does that really even count? I started a beginner’s knitting project several months ago that I never finished, does that count? (I just need to seam it, that’s what I’m putting off. I have knit plenty of scarves; however, this is my first hat.) I’m sort of teaching myself ukulele although I haven’t really learned any new chords or songs in awhile. I would very much like to take more photography classes with a focus on wildlife photography. That involves buying a new camera and... signing up for classes. 

Question Set 2

1. What is a detail in a piece of art/a text that you like that you really admire?

This was very difficult, at first because it was like looking at a bin full of loose things and just seeing an assortment of color and being overwhelmed by it all, and then because once I did start digging around, I kept finding different ideas and it was too hard too choose.

Character-building: In the A Song of Ice and Fire series, when Arya starts working for the House of Black and White, Martin stops using the name “Arya” as she dons different identities. For example, he uses “Cat” for a bit, among other names. It shows she’s trying to be someone else, but the caveat is that there are still little mannerisms and such that show she hasn’t really left Arya behind (I think maybe she bites her lip or something? I don’t remember specific examples because it’s been over 5 years since I read these books, but I do remember really appreciating the general technique at the time). 

Music: In The Beatles’ “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” I love those repeated arpeggios, over and over, building, intensifying, as the white noise comes in and you can just feel the heaviness of desire, of want... (and then I love how it just breaks so suddenly! And I know it wouldn’t have been intended this way because that’s the end of side one, but since I listen to the whole album on spotify, then those bright chords of “Here Comes the Sun” come in and god Abbey Road is the best Beatles album)

Writing: the poetry of Florence + The Machine’s “All This and Heaven Too,” obviously, since literally the title of my blog comes from that. I’d quote that whole song honestly. There’s something that speaks to me about the incapability of language to fully encompass just... everything. I mean, love in specific here, but also just everything. Words are just these little boats we put meaning on and we hope they make it to the other side but everyone takes ‘em a little differently. 

Like, look at this: 

And the words are all escaping, and coming back all damaged And I would put them back in poetry if I only knew how 

And this: 

Words were never so useful So I was screaming out a language that I never knew existed before

Anyways, there’s also something just incredibly soothing about the music, too, and how she sings the song. There’s another line, from Sara Bareilles’ “Miss Simone” that goes “How does she know what a heart sounds like?” which pretty much sums up how I feel about “All This and Heaven Too” (and also many of Sara Bareilles’ song, especially that particular album, but I digress).

Anyways I did have some art examples, but I think I’ve rambled long enough.

2. Is there an idea that you really liked but had to discard because you couldn’t get it to work?

If I really like an idea, I don’t really “discard” it so much as put it on the shelf to attempt later. Out of recent fic ideas, I’ve really struggled with “How to Lose a Spy in 10 Days.” I first thought of this in late spring 2017, and for awhile I couldn’t stop thinking about it, but I was working on Whatever I Do at the time, and wanted to wait before starting another WIP. By the time I got to writing this, the inspiration well had sort of dried up. 

I really like the idea of a fun cat-and-mouse rom-com idea where Jyn and Cassian keep outsmarting each other, with a whole lot of competency kink, some “oh shit we actually work well together!” and maybe some battle couple. And I was really looking forward to both the moment when they both finally let their guards down around each other and the big confrontation when they actually find out each other’s identities. But it involved more mission writing than I was prepared for, and I really struggled with it. I think I need to start over but that involves a lot of working, so it’s unfortunately shelved for now, and I’m working on a “You’ve Got Mail” concept instead.

3. Is there something fandom-related you would like to be able to do (i.e. I’d like to be able to make gif sets but can’t)?

Oh, yes, absolutely! Really anything that’s not writing related, lol. Gif sets, art, etc. But most of all, I have a music video idea for the song “So Close” from Enchanted--like I have a whole story board plotted out in a google doc. But I don’t have any video editing software, don’t even know how you get the scenes for a music video, etc. I have made videos before, but not since high school, and I don’t even have the cheap, basic video editing program I used back then. Sometimes I think I should just attempt make a gif set instead, but there are so many lyrics! and scenes that go with the lyrics! that I don’t know how to consolidate it into that format anyways. 

4. What is a skill you’ve acquired through fandom work?

Hmm, this was tough. I’m going to say HTML. I’m not up-to-date on webdesign at all, but back in my early fandom days, I ran a few fansites. I still sometimes use HTML while leaving comments or to edit posts on dreamwidth or w/e. It’s super basic, but it has helped me at work at a variety of jobs. I take it for granted that people my age should know basic HTML, but a lot of them don’t, and then a lot of people I work with now are older and definitely not tech savvy. 

5. Do you think anyone can learn to create great art, or does it take talent?

Well, I’m going to cheat a little. I do think think that anyone can learn to create great art, but I also think that everyone has a talent at something, and part of learning to create great art is recognizing your skill sets and honing those. If that makes sense? I’ve sort of seen both sides to this. I’ve seen naturally talented people create great things, but I also think that they’re probably cheating themselves if they’re not learning and honing their craft and trying to get better. But I’ve also seen people who started out making things that maybe you wouldn’t call great, but they worked hard over and over again, and looking at their work now, you’d say they were talented without ever knowing the difference. Great art = talent + learning + passion. Did that even answer the question? ...moving on

6. Do you prefer AUs or in-universe? Why?

I prefer to write in-universe, for sure. I find modern AUs more challenging, mostly because--and I feel kinda bad saying this--it’s very difficult for me to tap into Jyn and Cassian’s characters without some kind of tragic background. Their experiences and how they coped with them shape their personalities, and it’s really hard to separate them from those. My WWII was easier because, hey, it’s war, not so different from in-verse. But I initially tried to write Learning Curve in a modern AU and I was just totally bored. Putting it in universe made it more interesting to me, especially having to finagle a happier plot inverse. IDK, it might even be that I generally struggle to make up any conflict in modern AUs that feels interesting.

THAT SAID, lol, I definitely read either. So it’s probably strange for me to be hung up on it because I’ve read nice fluffy modern AUs and found them perfectly engaging.

Tagging: @theputterer, @magalis, @allatariel, @mythologicalmango, @threadsketchier  MY USUAL DISCLAIMER APPLIES: no pressure if you just don’t wanna, AND if anyone sees this and was like “aw hey i wish she’d tagged ME” well guess what, I wish I did too! so go ahead and do it and let me know and then i’ll know to tag you next time, too :-) 

Questions:

When you suffer a setback or a series of setbacks when creating (writing, drawing, knitting, any kind of crafty project thing you work on... even work), what are some strategies you use to cope with that stress and move forward?

What’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to create/make and what did you learn from it?

What part of a bicycle would you be?

What’s a helpful writing (art/crafting/work) technique you’ve learned?

What’s a piece of art that made you see things differently?

You’re a new addition to the crayon box. What color would you be and why?

What was the last board game you played and what did you like or not like about it?

*sorry these came out rather writer heavy!

[littlethingwithfeathers]

Fic writers meme!

I was tagged by the ever so lovely @mandysimo13! Cheers, darling!

Author Name: Birdie. I write under the handle HesterByrde

Fandoms You Write For: MCU, Agents of SHIELD, Hannibal, The Newsroom, and I’m in the process of writing something for HBO’s Chernobyl.

Where You Post: AO3 with links on Tumblr.

Most Popular One-Shot: Depends on how you count, I guess. There’s the first fic in my Steve/Natasha (eventually Steve/Nat/Bucky) series “Cover Me” which is most popular by hits. By Kudos, it’s “The Closest I Ever Gave” which is a Hannibal shaving-kink fic.

Most Popular Multi-Chapter Story:  Far and away (and honestly, quite surprisingly) it’s my Darcy/Eddie Brock/Venom fic “A Room for Rent in the Fourth Estate.”

Favorite Story You Wrote: God. It’s so hard to pick a favorite. Whatever I’m writing at the time is always my favorite, because if I feel like it’s publishable, then that means I feel proud of myself for having accomplished something. Like... I pulled off what I’m trying to do? If that makes any kind of sense? So yeah... Right now I guess I’m really pleased with the entirety of “Friendship is Unnecessary.” Because honestly, I wrote (and am still writing) that whole 200k+ word monster completely out of order and without any kind of plan in mind, and yet somehow I wound up with a lovely overarching theme, and character arcs and I planned absolutely positively none of it.

Story You Were Nervous to Post: There have been a couple... I wrote a Reylo fic called “Out for Stars” back kind of in the post-TLJ anti-Reylo zenith and I just felt really scared to post it since I didn’t want to deal with the hate. There was also a chapter in a Hannibal fic called “Whither Must I Wander” that was literally open heart surgery porn, and I was worried it might be too much? I still wonder if it was a bit much... but then again, this is the Hannibal fandom we’re talking about. And now I’m writing a fic for HBO’s Chernobyl, which I know the fandom is a little divided on the idea of writing fic for characters based on real people. And I totally get that... but I’m nearly 30k words in so I guess I’m committed. I just really hope that people use blacklisting and the little back key on their browser if they don’t want to read it instead of coming flaming at me.

How Do You Choose Your Titles:  Poetry and song lyrics mostly. But sometimes it’s just words that come to me. And often I’ll put a definition of the word at the start of the fic. 

Do You Outline: For the bigger stuff I’ll build an outline as I go. And sometimes for the smaller things I’ll sketch things out and put them in order, but not use a real outline.

How many of your stories are…

Complete: 62, counting an unpublished Hannibal fic for the upcoming Ravage Anthology, and my latest installment of “Friendship is Unnecessary” which is publishing on Monday!

In-Progress: 9. All at various stages. One is almost completely finished. A few are half done. And some are just sketchy little piles of words in my Google Docs that I occasionally feed with overwrought metaphors and shmoopy dialogue snippets.

Coming Soon: Next up is a “Friendship is Unnecessary” fic set during the five year gap in Avengers: Endgame. Angst and pining for EVERYONE! And I’m also hard at work on that Chernobyl fic, which is a little less than halfway finished.

Do You Accept Prompts: Not really. I’d like to be able to but... honestly go look at my writing updates. I can barely keep up with my own ideas and plot bunnies much less take on more from outside. But that doesn’t mean you can’t poke me with ideas. :)

Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: One thing I’ve got cooking on the back-burner is a Wanda/Vision fic that takes place post-Endgame... where they figure out how to bring Vision online without the Mind Stone, but he’s completely sans memory and personality. I’m also really excited about my Chernobyl fic, nervous as I am about publishing it. I’m playing with some really fun themes about human relationships and things that happen in crucible-situations. 

I tag... @eightieskat @meanderings0ul @ann3onymous and anyone else who wants to come play!