#everyone I know has 0 time for themselves and the pressure is immense

[potteresque-ire]

This clip crossed my mind today ~

Kevin Tsai (蔡康永) is one of the very few Chinese-speaking entertainers who’s openly gay and has significant name recognition in mainland China. Born and raised in Taiwan, he’s a writer, a former fashion magazine editor (GQ Taiwan), but he’s the most well known for being the co-host of the Taiwanese variety show Kangxi is Here 康熙來了 (2004-2016), the popularity of which spread his fame into mainland China. 

In this clip from 2015, Tsai was a guest in the mainland Chinese variety show I Can I BB 奇葩說, along with the famed transgendered dancer, talk show host and entertainer, 金星 Jing Xing, who sat to his right. This clip drew widespread attention because Tsai gave an emotional speech about his being gay as an entertainer in the Sinosphere, and the difficult advice he had found himself giving to the closeted idols who had come to seek his help.

Predictably, perhaps, this episode was censored in China shortly after its airing. 

(Full translation of the clip below the cut.) (Trigger warning: homophobia)

0:00 I have to tell you the real examples for me. It’s that, in the entertainment circle, If someone wants to come out of the closet, They’d first come and ask me about it. I’m unfamiliar with many stars in the entertainment circle. They’d secretly go through their friends, roundabout-ly send a text, Saying that they’d like to discuss a certain something with me.

Then, I’d get the text ~ The other side said they wanted to come out. No one knows what happened to them that day, They wanted to come out, on that day, 10 minutes later, And 10 minutes before they came to ask for my opinion.

0:35 I can understand that feeling. It’s that all of a sudden, they had this 10 minutes in which They strongly wanted to be themselves. They no longer wanted to hide their identity from their fans. In those ten minutes, If I offered them encouragement, said “Go”, They would’ve done it. If I stopped they and said “Don’t do it”, they wouldn’t do it.

0:58 So. That’s why I’m under so much pressure. That’s my misfortune ~ I’m the only one Who’s both out of the closet and alive and well. (Pie note: referring to Leslie Cheung, who committed suicide in 2003)

So. I’d usually stop them. I’d say to them ~ From the perspective of loneliness …

1:48 From the perspective of loneliness, I really wish that many people can be my company. That, is it possible that Every time this issue (Pie note: homosexuality) is brought up It’s not only me who can be displayed and Who’s alive? That, we’ve got to let the dads and moms see that Even if you come out of the closet, you wouldn’t die; that Not everyone who comes out of the closet Would be forced into a dark corner by society Until there’s no way to go in the end.

2:16 So. From my (selfish) perspective, I really wish they Would, without hesitation, come out of the closet in 10 minutes. And let their every fan lose their composure with surprise That the idol they love so deeply Has actually been hiding themselves And has now taken the path of honesty.

But, from the perspective of reason, I’d still stop them and say ~ If you’re my younger brother, I’d tell you not to do that. Or, we can wait another half a year, Wait another year, until you calm down, and We’ll discuss this matter again.

2:54 The only thing I can do Is to prove to The worried dads and moms watching that We’re not monsters. We can have a good life in this world. As Ma Wei Wei just said, When you’ve reached the pinnacle of your industry, You’ll assure your parents ~ Oh, my (gay) child can, one day, Be so distinguished.

3:19 The problem is, Many people never reach that pinnacle. So, say I’m actively encouraging Those facing immense pressure from the family, Persuading them, saying ~ Do bravely come out of the closet. But I can’t take care of them afterwards. If, in a chance in a million, they believe me and Say, yes, I’ll come out to my parents. Afterwards I can’t take care of them. If they’re bullied by their villagers, If they’re marginalised by the students and teachers at school, I can’t reach out with my hand and Rescue them, protect them.

3:52 So, logically, of course I hope More people can face themselves with honesty. The more people coming out, the better. I totally agree with what Qiu Shen said just now, The more people coming out, The more difficult it is for the closet to exist.

Therefore, when the broadcaster from CNN (Pie Note: Anderson Cooper) came out, When someone from the fashion industry came out, When the CEO of Apple (Pie Note: Tim Cook) came out, For me they’re all great news.

But still, when by my side, the Idols from the entertainment circle asked me, I’d still be worried, Because they’ve never gone through What I’ve gone through. And so, I don’t have the confidence that When they’re met with such difficulties, They’ll be able to hold on like I did.

Jin Xing and I are … We’re both competitive, ambitious people. Therefore, we can, from our coming out, Ignite more of our competitive spirit, Declare war against the opposing forces. And then, we’re able to keep propping ourselves up. And then, I agree with what Fan Ye said ... People are becoming more accepting And so it’s getting easier and easier for us to exist. Easier and easier for us to prove ourselves.

5:00 Since I come to I Can I BB, Many people say they see in I Can I BB a me Who hasn’t been seen in Kangxi is Here. That’s because I don’t like to lecture. On Kangxi is Here I like to make everyone happy. I don’t like to influence people. I don’t like to lecture. But this show Has compelled me to this spot In which I have to repeatedly offer my opinions. And so, the audience has discovered a Me that has never been seen in Kangxi is Here.

I know, if I stand at the front line and Debate like Ma Wei Wei, Maybe I can still influence some people. But, sometimes, I feel … The bad thing is those setbacks I’ve experienced, That I know some people won’t be able to hold on. This is the weakness in my heart. If I can be like you (Pie Note: Ma Wei Wei), If I don’t have to experience those setbacks, I’d be more able to encourage them and say,

Everyone stand up, And then, tear down those closets well.

[felikatze]

give me the a brainworms i am deeply invested in this man

(0) (2) (3) (4)

okay first of all you asked for this. second of all if i am a little off track from the game that is explained by me just building thoughts like building blocks without looking back. third i was supposed to be studying for an exam but this counts as practice right? it's character analysis anyway lmao.

buckle the fuck up, my dearest anon, because I have sub headings.

1. A as the Player Character

Let me begin with why I am obsessed with this horrid little guy in the first place: he's a silent protagonist. I am always obsessed with protagonists. It's a law of nature. I love taking hollow characters and dissecting them for scraps. It's a long standing practice of mine.

Being a silent protagonist, A, as X, does not have a set personality. However, there are patterns. Firstly, as any semi-silent protagonist, A is a reactive character. He does not start incidents, he only responds to situations, presented by the Sephirah, as they arise. He does not actively seek out new information, merely going about the routine of expanding departments, but expresses curiosity when information is presented to him.

I'm aware fandom likes to characterize X and A differently, likely because they are initially presented as different characters. I, on the other hand, would like to pose the theory that they are more similar than expected.

I believe that A is also a reactive character, rather than active. Despite the fandom wiki describing him as stubborn, the goal A pursues with such fervor, the completion of the Seed of Light, is not actually a goal he set for himself. Carmen is the one who set this goal for him by leaving him her legacy.

Throughout the backstory we get relating to the Cogito Project, A is Carmen's assistant, whereas Carmen is the driving researcher. This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be; going with the flow of goals set for them by superiors. Yes I will get into his attachment to Carmen later.

The above is not to say A isn't stubborn. Once he has accepted a goal as his own, he will pursue it at all costs, as is obvious from any and all flashbacks leading to horrible deaths. But the point isn't his pursuit of the goal, but where that goal comes from. Even Lobcorp itself supports this, despite what Hokma may say; A as X follows the "simple" task of managing the Corp's day to day activities, and executes any mission given to him by the Sephirah. He outranks them, and doesn't actually need to do their missions, but does so anyway. Players are driven by the reward offered by those missions, of course, and A might be the same in that regard. Nonetheless, at no point in gameplay do you do anything somebody else hasn't told you to.

The overarching narrative of the Script would be the most obvious example. Every single person in the game follows the script, whether they know it or not.

Lastly on this note, a phrase we hear attributed to A, "Machines must behave as machines." Now, Angela may be attached to this phrase because it bears significance to herself as a machine, and informs most of A's unjust treatmeant of her. However, what if it doesn't just apply to machines? The phrase reads as such, "Everyone must act according to their own role."

2. A, Carmen, and the disease of the mind

So, A will at any cost pursue goals Carmen set for him. Question is, why? The obvious answer would be saying he's in love with her, which like, true. But also, how did Carmen come to be so precious to him?

Let us return to the comparison, "This is how many of the City's inhabitants seem to be." We don't really know why exactly most characters joined Carmen, excluding mainly Daniel and Benjamin. But this does not mean we can't have theories.

Carmen's ideal was curing the "disease of the mind." What is the disease? Complete hopelessness. The inability to form aspirations and dreams, to think of a better future. A is a very reactive character who does not set goals for himself. Therefore, I personally conclude, that initially, Carmen's ideology resonated with him because he could identify with the disease.

This is the point where I start rewatching Lobcorp story clips. Dear god.

So, by briefly binging day 27 onward, I've come up with lines that very much support this lil theory of mine:

First, from Carmen, a description of the disease, "People lock away their own potential."

Second, a line from Angela, after the memory synchronization, "You've locked yourself in this prison without bars."

Carmen describes A as humble, and Benjamin thinks he is warm. If I suppose A was one of the diseased initially, Carmen would be the catalyst for this change. Carmen was someone with big aspirations, with plans to heal what is wrong with the City, and it gave him hope. He was one of the diseased, but through time with Carmen, with that relentless optimistic spirit, he may have been cured, for a time. It's not a stretch to say that she was his light.

But lor shows us what happens when the seed of light sprouts wrong, doesn't it? It distorts. A grasped hope for the first time and then it is ruthlessly crushed. Carmen was everything. Yes, A is described as a jack-of-all-trades, as a genius in all pursuits he puts his mind to, but what does that matter in the face of someone who can unite people? Who can give them hope of a better world? Who can inspire them to actually use the talents they have?

And what kind of pressure is it to put the legacy of a messiah in the hands of the diseased?

3. A and the Perception Filter: A is weak to White damage

No, I am serious about that. He's extremely weak mentally. Obviously death of a loved one is a changing experience for absolutely anybody, but Carmen's death destroyed him.

Not only did he refuse to confide this grief to anyone and bottled it up, now everybody looked to him to lead the project, but he just isn't Carmen. He isn't an ambitious person, he doesn't have the same optimism, he can't bring people together, but people expected him to, and he failed. Hard.

While he was without a doubt talented in science, he was also just an average guy.

After her death, A grew to hate humans. He lost trust in them. He refused to confide in anyone, and be confided in by anyone. Thus, the team fell apart.

In both lobcorp and lor, we get interesting tidbits about precations taken to protect the manager.

Firstly, Lobcorp's perception filter. The cartoony art-style of the game is a result of the game being in first person. Through the eyes of the manager, everything is cartoony!

This is a measure undertaken to specifically protect the manager's psyche. Angela tells us that, before it was deployed, the manager would frequently go insane, one notable incident including the manager trying to hang himself. When we first hear this, the previous managers and X are still separate in our minds. However, they're all A! A went insane multiple times without it.

This is understandable, considering that employees also frequently go insane and try to kill both themselves and others. But they're there in action, confronting the Abnormalities directly. Just watching them made the manager go mad. They could not handle the responsibility for the employees' deaths.

In lor, Angela explains why she picked the Rabbit Team from R Corp as their main contractor instead of any other team. One team was simply too big for L Corp's narrow hallways, and the other team... dealt in psychic damage. It was simply too big of a risk for the manager. But the manager is always secure behind the cameras. Would that teams methods just be that brutal visually, or would their attacks have reached the manager?

Combined with his immense grief at all of his friends and coworkers dying in part because of him, A cannot bear to look at death.

4. A's greatest flaw: Avoidance

A common thread during Core Meltdown flashbacks: A refuses to look at suffering. He just can't. Whether it be looking away from Elijah writhing on the floor or hanging up on Daniel's panicked report of death.

This is actually the thing Angela takes the biggest issue with, and what hurt her most. A would never look at her, acknowledge her, and she did not understand why. But I think A did not refuse to look at her out of maliciousness. Rather, it was out of grief over Carmen. He could not look at her without being reminded of what he lost.

Angela's creation came about because A wanted someone to guide him, someone like Carmen. He threw himself into the project to the point it made Benjamin happy that A was passionate about anything again. But as soon as the project he distracted himself with is complete, he is filled with regret. Carmen cannot be replicated, and he breaks again.

Furthermore, tying this back to my first point about A being a reactive person, we see Angela take charge over A. She's the one recruiting employees and leading the business. It was likely a relief for him to be able to step down from the leading position.

But avoiding it made everything worse. He did not act when he saw Elijah's unchecked ambition, he did not act beyond a simple check at Gabriel's decay, he gave Giovanni the same hope he clung to to no avail, et cetera et cetera.

Avoiding his problems is making them worse and sending everything down the drain (including his psyche), so he deals with it the only way he knows how, avoiding them more!

Biggest example of A's big avoidance problem as his psyche crumbles: the memory wipe. A, in perhaps his one singular moment of acknowledging his emotions, recognizes that he is incapable of fulfilling the Script in his current state. His grief is just too much.

By erasing his own memory, he could start fresh without his grief, because he might've really killed himself otherwise. His suffering became bigger and bigger, and he coped by avoiding it.

The memory wipe allowed him to distangle his problems. Through his interactions with the Sephirah (which I will not individually detail for the sake of my sanity and because I dumped all this on a friend on discord already), he can deal with and actually process his issues one at a time.

As the motto describes, only by facing the fear can he build the future. Only by finally facing his grief and acknowleding it, seeing that the past cannot be changed and he has no choice to move forward, can he actually do so.

5. The Sephirah as ghosts

Lobotomy Corporation feels like a ghost story. I've touched upon this in my previous A post.

As you reach the Corp's lower levels, there are less Sephirah. First there are four. They act like normal employees, and do not breach into the story's underbelly until you reach their core supressions and the facade breaks. Second, counting Tiphereth as one, there are three. They still go about their duties, but they know what they are. Third, there are two, and the facade is gone. They know what they are, and they will tell you about the sins of the past.

And finally, you reach Keter, and there is only one.

This gradual decay of the facade is what really gets to me. I said that by interacting with the Sephirah, A deals with his issues one by one, but that's what the Sephirah are, in this case. Representations.

The people the Sephirah used to be are dead, and the Sephirah are their ghosts. The core supression involve putting these ghosts to rest. Doesn't it match the progression of a typical ghost story? Find the ghost, find what they used to be, and help them move on.

So, if everyone is a ghost, then A is alone.

But, behind the scenes, the Sephirah are still there. They are still people, and they have changed for the better, too. As always, A simply does not look.

(Does he even see the good others see in him? Does he look away from praise, too? Did he even realize Benjamin's admiration for him? Will we ever know?)

6. A's end.

A's progression of moving on would be fine and dandy if it did not end as thus: A does kill himself.

A sees himself beyond the point of no return. Everyone is dead. He is alone. Carmen is never coming back. He can't call it quits now, or else everything has been in vain. (Even if the last days show us a part of him wants to just quit, so badly.)

So, there's only one thing left to do: follow the Script to its ending. Fulfill Carmen's legacy at all costs. Death as the ultimate release.

This is the point where I admit I do not like the death as release trope. But the game does a good enough job as presenting it as the only option A had, or the only option he saw himself as having.

However, I've mentioned it before, I'll mention it again: A was not alone. Death was his release, but he left wreckage. In order to end his own suffering, he inflicted the same pain he went through on others.

Throughout the game, he moves on and pushes through. The ending shows that in reality... he didn't.

At least in lor the characters stick together and help each other heal.

This has been most of my thoughts on A, amounting to my longest analysis post ever, having taken me approximately two and a half hours to complete, and clocking in at 2337 words including up to this paragraph.

Thank you anon for giving me the incentive to verbalize all of this, so I can finally be at ease having inflicted my thoughts on everybody else.

[atltexts]

(1-0) THE CONTROVERSIAL SIGH OF RELIEF

OK... good morning

I can’t believe I have to seriously explain why this is not a r*pe score, but here we go 🥴

I was there the day BVH was exonerated in April. Waiting for the outcome, I stayed up all night, making sure I would be available if anything bad were to come of this. This wasn’t anything new for me. When the letter came in, BVH immediately broke down in tears. At first, I didn’t know what he was feeling and asked him a number of times what it said. I couldn’t make what he was saying, then he just kept repeating “not guilty, not guilty”

We really thought this nightmare would be over from there. This was a huge sigh of relief and as anyone would, BVH felt intense emotion in that moment.

PRECURSOR FOR CONTEXT: BVH was not a religious person prior to any of this, but on December 15 2020, he suffered from his first sleep paralysis episode. Sleep paralysis is more prone to happen to a person when they are either under immense pressure or are deeply depressed. He felt a malign presence in his bedroom & his knee-jerk reaction was to immediately start praying Psalm 91. When this happened, all the noise around him subsided, the presence left, and he was able to gain control over his body again. Since that day, he has prayed the rosary every night before going to sleep. This gave him hope, something to believe in.

CELEBRATING INNOCENCE? THANKING GOD? NOT ON MY WATCH, BUCKO: Just like how his knee-jerk reaction was to pray to banish the sleep paralysis influence, his knee-jerk reaction to being exonerated was to publicly praise god. He asked me “should I write this?” And i paused, thinking it was a little strange, but I also didn’t want to ruin his moment, so I said yes. It was benign! What could possibly happen!!

He was immediately kicked out of the group after a girl weaponized his religion to call him ugly (67+ students liked this!). Another girl wrote “finally,” and comments continued from there. Of course, everyone but BVH got off the hook and BVH was penalized for being “unprofessional.”

Not only was he penalized for being “unprofessional”, but he was also penalized for being happy! “How dare you be happy the day your accuser lost, you should feel sadness and remorse!!!” Yup… he had to go through empathy coaching for this. Wish I was kidding.

BEWILDERING INTERPRETATIONS: We later found out that this was misinterpreted as a r*pe score. “He’s saying he did it before and he will do it again.” Initially, there weren’t that many complaints (maybe 2-3), but when these students instructed other students to do the same, the number obviously increased greatly. So far, over 30 complaints have been filed — while the initial ones were about the Title IX investigation & the Group Me post, the last handful of them said “I don’t care if she couldn’t prove it, I know something bad happened.”

GLOATING SHMOATING: That night, the school sent a mass e-mail to all students about “gloating over the misfortunes of others”, but as they usually do, they denied this. I guess there are just that many coincidences, even though they themselves accused him of… ‘gloating’ over the misfortunes of others.

THE COURTEOUS ADMINISTRATOR: Also that night, BVH got a separate e-mail from an administrator demanding they have an urgent meeting. On this “courtesy call” as the administrator called it, he told BVH to “watch himself” and abruptly hung up on him. BVH was literally just chilling. At least BVH got his 5 minutes of relief before the distortion campaign got stronger over his praise for God, I suppose.

QUESTIONABLE PETITIONS: Soon after, the student leadership wrote & circulated a petition for “the expulsion of (BVH)”. I don’t hold it against the people who I signed it. Not knowing the depth of the situation, it’s understandable and also scary to be seated in a classroom with someone you think is unsafe to be around. In the petition, they suggest BVH is a narcissist (it really said “narcissist” in it), further and deliberately spreading more misinformation. They write that he is too unprofessional to become a physician and was “accused of gender-based violence”. Even though BVH wrote literally nothing about the Title IX investigation, this petition states that he is, again, “gloating over the misfortunes of others,” that he’s deliberately trying to intimidate, share people’s private information, abuse social media, lacks empathy, and “implicit threat of future abuse.” None of this is true (and it’s all written like it’s fact — which is pretty unprofessional). Just some more malicious fabrications in attempts to get him kicked out. It also says “reports of comments that devalue his peers” which, as someone who knows him well, I highly doubt is true. He cares too much about his education to put his peers down. The petition proceeds to say “gender-based violence cannot be tolerated”, suggesting their own opinions are fact, further strengthening the distortion campaign. Given the way the petition was carefully written, I don’t blame people for trusting student leadership and taking it seriously. They also say, as though it is fact, that the school’s inaction is jeopardizing BVH’s future patients…. Anyway, I’ll bite my tongue & move on.

MORE TRIALS, BEFORE MORE TRIALS. WHY NOT: The school sent him to the pious court of the medical school for a second trial. He had to explain the story of why he posted the Group Me comment, and for the 3rd time he was exonerated, but it didn’t end there… To this day, the Committee on Students is still having periodic hearings most recently because his empathy coaching as about “having empathy i ngeneral, not about the Group Me post specifically.” Why he needs empathy coaching, or why it’s called “empathy coaching” is beyond me.

OVEREXERTING BVH, HE MUST PAY FOR BEING BULLIED! MAKES SENSE TO ME: The medical school refused to accept the Title IX decision so they did an additional review of the investigation report of the title IX process. He has been assigned to do multiple assignments, attend multiple meetings, to the point that, with the added stress, I don’t think any other student would be capable of doing. He was barely granted an extension for his schoolwork or any accommodations for that matter. BVH doesn’t matter to them, they only do what benefits ATL (post with proof pending… there’s a lot to uncover). They even changed the rules of an assignment on him after he had submitted a really nice paper, so he had to write a new one.

IGNORING EMOTIONAL NEEDS DESPITE FILING “CARE” REPORTS!: The medical school is still, to this day, giving him an extremely hard time. I am a person with a physical disability & I had to drop out of school to be BVH’s support system to do what the medical school should have done. I am deteriorating by the day and this is how I am spending my life. I have read many books to BVH, teaching him meditation & mindfulness. I have found him the absolute best puppy I could find to help him cope. I have cried with him (makes the puppy cry too). I have been available every day to witness and experience this with him, and believe me when I say, every day a new issue arises. And believe me when I also say…. BVH is extremely careful, has done nothing but kept to himself & follow given instructions (other than quitting his dream to become a physician). I have called the school and spoke to several different professionals, begging that someone AT LEAST provides him an ounce of emotional support. I even filed an elaborate concern form (CARE report) I found on the CWRU website. All without BVH’s knowledge I’ve been trying to make things happen for him behind the scenes. Again, they know he is in pain. I can’t work, and I can’t afford to eat or pay rent on my own — I should be focusing on starting a business, but all my energy is going into making things right for BVH, because, yes, he genuinely has it worse. That’s what friends are for! I am not trying to victimize myself (anonymous person here). He never once asked me to do any of the things I’ve done. If anything, he feels guilty that I am still by his side. Without pay, I am doing their job full time while being bedridden and in excruciating pain. I am overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted, and disappointed that the school does not stand by the values they claim to have… if I feel this way, if this is the only thing I can think about, imagine how BVH feels.

EMPLOYEES WHO HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE SITUATION, PLEASE DO NOT FEEL GUILTY: I know that most of the staff feels for BVH. I don’t blame the staff who deals with BVH directly. I blame whoever is giving them these instructions. The person who is being CC’d on all the e-mails even though he chose to ‘step out of the situation’. Most likely, he will try to pin my actions on BVH, because that’s how the hierarchy of this school works. This is why no one can say anything, we’re all afraid that if we stand up for BVH it is going to hurt his education — BVH is even afraid to ask a question in class because he could literally sneeze and surely someone will google “the meaning of sneezes” to find a way to twist things, and the school will penalize him (totally OK for someone to call him ‘scum of the earth’ while he’s leading a discussion though). I don’t get why this man has such a hard on for BVH (with peace & love), and I’ll leave it at that.

[wenqtranslations]

Mo Dao Zu Shi 魔道祖师 - Chapter 8

魔道祖师 Translation Project by 杨文秋 （为了学读中文 ) 

this was one of my fav chapters :0

Chapter 8

Some distance away, after a fruitless search of the burial site, Lan SiZhui followed the trail to the Heavenly Woman shrine.

Apart from the graves of generations of townsfolk, DaFan Mountain was also home to a goddess shrine. The shrine payed homage to neither buddha nor bodhisattva, but a Dancing Goddess.

Many hundreds of years ago, a group of townspeople went into the mountains on a hunting expedition. There, they found a grotto, and inside the grotto, a strange block of stone. It was near ten foot high, formed naturally. It looked human, four limbs protruding, arranged as if it were dancing. Even more mysteriously, the part of the stone that suggested a head wore an expression resembling a softly smiling woman.

The townspeople were greatly intrigued. They thought it was infused with spirit energy, a block of heavenly stone, and so made it the subject of many folktales. Like the lord who secretly loved the Dark Lady*, and so carved it in her image in pining, yet, such was the Dark Lady’s fury upon discovery the unfinished stone statue lay discarded and forgotten; or the story of a Jade Emperor’s* daughter, upon who he doted on dearly, and his longing after her early death crystallised into a statue. A myriad of fantasies that made people’s eyes bulge. They became staunch believers of the legends that issued from their own mouths. Some people turned the grotto into a shrine, the stone platform into an altar, and proclaimed the statue as the “Dancing Goddess Deity”. For many years, they gave offerings, knelt in worship, and lit incense.

The grotto was divided into a two roomed temple. The statue stood in the middle. At a quick glance, it was convincingly human in appearance, even the waist could be said to be shapely. It became crude on closer scrutiny. But that something naturally occurring could look so human would make one click their tongues in astonishment.

Lan JingYi tested the demonic compass, raising and lowering it, but the needle refused to move. The altar was an unkempt array of candle stumps and a blanket of incense ash. A sweet aroma of rot wafted from the offering fruit platter. The disciples of GuSuLan sect were all obsessively clean. Lan JingYi fanned his hand over his nose. “The locals say the Goddess Shrine was actively granting wishes, but this whole place is a mess. And they don’t think to call a few people in to sweep it and clean it.”

Lan SiZhui said, “With all said and done, seven people have lost their spirit. The rumours say it’s because thunder split open a tomb and freed the fiend inside. Who would be brave enough to go up this mountain? They’ve already stopped the Incense burning, naturally no one would be cleaning either.”

A disdainful voice sounded from outside the grotto. “It’s just a shitty piece of broken rock. I don’t know who called it a deity, let alone dare give it a shrine and make people pray and light incense for it!”

Jin Ling walked in, hands behind his back. The “prohibition of speech” technique had a short time course; his mouth was free to open. And as soon as he opens his mouth nothing good comes out of it. He glanced at the goddess statue, snorted. “These country bumpkins, when they have a problem they don’t try to solve it themselves, and spend the entire day lighting incense, begging gods and asking spirits. There are thousands upon ten-thousands of people in the world. The gods have no time to manage their own affairs, they can hardly take care of them as well! Let alone a no name, no reputation country deity. If it’s so effective, then I’m going to make a wish right now. Make that human-spirit eating thing that’s terrorising DaFan Mountain appear before me immediately, can it do that?”

Behind him the group of small family cultivators followed him in, echoed him, agreed with a peal of laughter. The dead silence of the shrine dissolved into rowdiness, crammed by the crowd. Lan SiZhui shook his head imperceptibly, had made a half-turn away when he caught the goddess’s face in the corner of his eye. On her face, he could trace the indistinct shape of a compassionate yet sorrowful smile.

He thought this smiling face looked familiar, like he’d seen it before somewhere.

Just where had he seen it before?

Lan SiZhui thought it must be important. He found himself next to the altar, wanting to take a closer look. Suddenly, someone knocked into him.

A person who’d been standing behind him had silently collapsed. The others were frozen, stupefied. Jin Ling asked tersely, “What happened to him?”

Lan SiZhui braced his sword close to his body and bent down to examine the cultivator. His breathing was normal, to all appearances as if he’d suddenly dropped asleep, yet would not wake despite any amount of hitting, pinching or calling. He got up and began, “This seems like …”

His words cut off as the dark cave lit with a flash of red light, as if a bloodied shower were streaming down from all four walls. The incense sticks at the altar and grotto corners burst into flame.

Metal rang upon metal, as those in the grotto unsheathed their swords and readied talismans. At once, a man barrelled in from the outside. Hefting a medicinal gourd, he flung the contents onto the body of the goddess statue, flooding the grotto with the thick, choking odour of strong wine. He gripped a talisman and arced it through the air towards the body of the statue. It exploded into an inferno, sending the grotto into daylight.

Wei WuXian had used up all the objects he’d found in the sealing pouch, he threw the empty pouch away and roared, “Everyone get out! Be careful of the spirit-eating goddess inside!”

Someone screamed, “The goddess’s posture changed!’

Before, the two arms of the statue were raised, one hand pointing heavenward, one foot lifted, braced by the elegant line of her body. Now, revealed in the blazing yellow of the inferno, her hands and feet were both lowered. It was no trick of the light.

The next moment, the statue stepped out of the flames!

Wei WuXian yelled, “Run, run, run! Stop fighting! It’s no use!”

He was ignored. With a thousand eyes, in a thousand crannies, they’d searched without result. Now that the elusive spirit-eating monster finally appeared, how could they let it go! However, no amount of hacking and stabbing, talismans and magic items would halt its advance. It was close to 10 feet tall, a giant, an immense crushing pressure with each movement. It raised two cultivators before its face, its stone mouth seemed to open. Two swords fell to the ground, their heads lolled. Their spirits had been sucked away.

Their attacks were useless. Finally, they reluctantly acknowledged Wei WuXian’s words and flocked to the exit, scattered in the four directions, fleeing for their lives. A sea of people surged past him. The more panicked Wei WuXian became, the less he could make out Jin Ling. He ran the donkey into a bamboo forest. Upon turning back, he met the eyes of the Lan family disciples catching up to him. Wei WuXian hailed them. “Kids!”

Lan JingYi retorted, “Who’s a kid? Do you know whose family we’re from? Do you think you’re our senior now just because you gave your face a wash?!”

Wei WuXian conceded. “Fine, fine, fine. Big brothers. Send a signal, get that… that HanGuang-Jun to come!”

The juniors nodded, rummaging inside their clothing as they ran. A moment later, Lan SiZhui said, “The signals… we used them up that night, at the Mo household.”

Wei WuXian startled. “You didn’t restock them?!”

The signals were used once in eight hundred years. Lan SiZhui said, sheepish. “We forgot.”

Wei WuXian glowered. “How can you forget this? See what you’ll look like when HanGuang-Jun finds out!”

Lan JingYi was ashen faced. “It’s over. This time HanGuang-Jun will punish us to death.”

Wei WuXian muttered, “Punish. They ought to be punished! If you don’t punish them, they won’t learn.”

Lan SiZhui said, “Young Master Mo! How did you know the soul-sucking thing wasn’t a soul eating fiend or beast, but was that honourable goddess statue?”

Wei WuXian was running and searching for signs of Jin Ling. “How did I know? I saw it.”

Lan JingYi ran to catch up, the two of them flanking him. “What did you see? We also saw plenty.”

“You saw, and so? What was near the graveyard?”

“What else would there be - there were ghosts.”

“Exactly. There were ghosts. So, it couldn’t be a soul eating beast or a soul eating fiend. There are so many ghosts floating around, yet they weren’t eaten? Impossible.”

This time, more than one person spoke. “Why?”

“I say, you GuSuLan sect people … “ Wei WuXian could no longer resist. “Stop teaching etiquette and cultivator pedigree, what ancestor did what and when, that kind of long-winded rote-learnt nonsense. Teach some more practical things, can’t you? It’s nothing complicated. Ghosts are much easier to eat than living spirits. In living people, the body acts like a barrier. To eat the spirit, you need to first penetrate that barrier. It’s like …” He glanced at the donkey sprinting beside him, the poor creature gasping, its eyes rolled into whites. “Like having an apple dangling in front of you, and another apple in a locked box. Which one do you eat first? The one in front of you, of course. This thing only eats living spirits, plus it has a means of doing so. It’s very picky, and very powerful.”

Lan JingYi said in alarm. “So that’s how it is! That seems to make a lot of sense! Hold on, you really weren’t a lunatic!”

Lan SiZhui explained, “We all thought the incident was because the coffin was disturbed by the landslide and the thunder. Naturally, we concluded it was a soul eating fiend.”

Wei WuXian said. “Wrong.”

“How?”

“The order, the cause and effect, are wrong. I ask you both: of the landslide and soul-eating incident, what came before, what came after? Which was the cause, which was the consequence?”

Lan SiZhui didn’t pretend to think. “The landslide came before, the soul-eating after. The former is the reason, the latter the consequence.”

Wei WuXian said, “Completely incorrect. The soul-eating came before, the landslide after. The soul-eating is the reason, the landslide the consequence! On the night of the landslide, there was a storm; thunder and lightning split the sky and cracked open a coffin. Remember this well. The first person who lost their soul, that lazy fellow, was trapped in the mountains overnight. A few days later, he took a wife.”

Lan JingYi said, “What’s wrong with that?”

Wei WuXian said, “Everything’s wrong with that! A penniless wretch who idled his days away - where’d he get the money to find a wife and arrange a marriage?”

Dumbstruck silence. Unsurprising, for GuSuLan sect was a family with little reason to ponder the problems of wealth and destitution. Wei WuXian said again, “All the ghosts you’ve seen wandering around DaFan Mountain? Amongst them, there’s an old man who’d had his head crushed. The workmanship and materials of his burial clothes are of superb quality. With such extravagant clothing, he couldn’t have had an empty coffin. It must have contained funerary objects to placate him. The disturbed coffin is most likely his. Afterwards, the people who restored the skeletons didn’t find any valuables, because they’d been poached by that lazy fellow - this is the only explanation for his sudden exorbitant spending.  That lazy fellow … something unusual must have happened for him to make his fortune and take a wife on the same night. That night, he sought cover from the storm in the mountain. Where can you find shelter on DaFan Mountain? The Goddess’s shrine. And when a person goes to a shrine, they will always do one thing.”

Lan SiZhui said, “Make a wish?”

“That’s right. For instance: for him to have good fortune, prosperity, be wealthy, get married, that sort of thing. The goddess heard his desires and sent down a clap of thunder that cleaved the coffin, revealing the treasures inside. His prayers were answered, and as her price, the goddess descended on his wedding night and sucked away his spirit!”

Lan JingYi said, “That’s a guess, right?”

Wei WuXian affirmed, “It’s a guess. But by taking this guess to its natural conclusion, everything falls into place.”

Lan SiZhui said, “How do you explain Lady A-Yan?”

Wei WuXian said, “An excellent question. Before you went up the mountain, you must have asked yourself this already. A-Yan had just been betrothed. And all newly betrothed young women have the same wish.”

Lan JingYi drew a blank. “What wish?”

Wei WuXian said, “What else but, ‘I wish my future husband will in his lifetime love and treasure me alone’, and the sort.”

The crowd of juniors were stupefied. “Can this kind of wish really be fulfilled … “

Wei WuXian spread his hands. “It’s easy. If his ‘lifetime’ were to come to an end, wouldn’t he have ‘loved only one person in his lifetime’?”

A lightbulb flashed, Lan JingYi said eagerly, “Oh, oh! So- so- so the reason her husband was killed by the mountain wolves on the second day after Lady A-Yan’s betrothal, was because the day before, Lady A-Yan had gone to the goddess’s shrine to make a wish!”

Wei WuXian swiftly continued his chain of thought. “It’s hard to say what killed him, whether it was a feral wolf or something else entirely. A-Yan is a special case: why was hers the only spirit that returned? How is she different from the others? The difference is, a close relative of hers lost their soul too. Or, to put it another way, a relative took her place! Blacksmith Zheng is A-Yan’s father, a father who loved his daughter dearly. He watched, helpless, as his daughter lost her soul and all the medicine in the world could not help her. What else can he do?” *

This time, Lan SiZhui caught on immediately. “—he pinned his hopes on one final wish before passing away. So, he went to the shrine and made a prayer: ‘I pray my daughter A-Yan’s spirit returns!’”

Wei WuXian approved. “This is why only A-Yan’s spirit came back and is also the reason behind our third spirit-loss, Blacksmith Zheng. Though A-Yan’s spirit was spat out, it was not unscathed. With her spirit returned to its proper place, she started involuntarily imitating the goddess’s form, her dance, and even her smile.”

What those who lost their spirit had in common was they’d made a wish at the goddess shrine. And the price for having such a wish fulfilled, was their soul.

The goddess statue began as a normal rock that by chance resembled a human form. The worship over the span of hundreds of years infused it with power. But it was not satiated. It developed a warped idea – it thought it could increase its power by eating souls. Exchanging a wish for a soul was the same as if the wisher had offered it willingly. A fair deal on both sides, to ask and be answered. It seemed just and reasonable; thus, the demonic compass was still and the shade summoning flag inert, both swords and talismans useless. Because it was no monster or demon on DaFan Mountain: it was a deity! This was a rogue deity raised on several hundreds of years of worship and prayer. To use demon-killing tools against it was the same as dousing fire with fire!

Lan JingYi shouted, “Wait! But back there in the shrine, someone else had their soul sucked away, but we didn’t hear them make a wish!”

Wei WuXian heart stuttered. He skidded to a halt. “Someone had their soul sucked away back in the shrine? Tell me what happened again, don’t miss a word.”

Lan SiZhui clearly and swiftly laid out the circumstance. Upon hearing Jin Ling’s words: ‘If it’s so effective, then I’m going to make a wish right now. Make that human-spirit eating thing that’s terrorising DaFan Mountain appear before me immediately, can it do that’, Wei WuXian remarked, “Isn’t that a wish? That’s called making a wish!”

The others had agreed with Jin Ling, so by extension, had made the same wish. And that soul-eating goddess was in front of them already, the wish was fulfilled. After that, was time to collect her payment!

Suddenly, the donkey’s hooves clattered to a stop, it turned and ran in the opposite direction. Caught off guard, Wei WuXian was thrown off its back again. As if a matter of life and death, he yanked the rope, then heard a crunching and sucking sound from the shrubbery in front of them. A figure, tall beyond measure, was crouched in the shrubbery. The giant head swayed above a human torso. Upon hearing a sound, it lifted its head and their eyes collided.

This soul eating goddess features were originally indistinct, with only the suggestion of eyes, nose, mouth, ears. After sucking out the souls of multiple cultivators in a single breath, her features had clarified into the face of a gently smiling woman. The corners of her mouth dripped with blood. An arm dangled between her lips. She ate with relish.

All of them followed the donkey’s example and beat a hasty retreat.

Lan SiZhui was on the verge of collapse, he gasped, “This isn’t right! The Yi Ling Patriarch once said the high-level ones eat spirits; the inferior ones eat flesh!”

Wei WuXian replied helplessly, “Why are you superstitiously trusting him, look what a mess he made from his own affairs! Rules are not set in stone. Just say it’s like a child, when its toothless it can only eat porridge and liquid food, but when it grows up of course it would use its teeth to eat meat. Now that her power’s surging, she’s naturally going to try a new delicacy!”

The soul eating goddess stood up from the ground, tall and sturdy as a horse, her hands and feet moved in concert, an ecstatic dance, as if it brimmed with joy. Suddenly, an arrow whistled across and thudded into her forehead, the arrowhead breaking through the back of her skull.

Wei WuXian followed the twang of the bowstring. Nearby, Jin Ling stood on a high slope. Another arrow was nocked to his bow. He pulled it taut before releasing another penetrating arrow to the skull. The force of the blow made the goddess stagger a few steps in retreat.

Lan SiZhui yelled, “Son of Jin! Send out your signal!”

It fell on deaf ears. His heart was set on capturing this monster. He expression stilled. This time, he laid three arrows on the string. Though she’d been shot twice in the head, the soul eating goddess’s benevolent smile still curved on her face. She advanced towards Jin Ling. Though she danced as she walked, she was frighteningly fast. In a wink, half the distance disappeared. A few cultivators appeared form one side and engaged her in battle, impeding her footsteps. Jin Ling’s arrows found their mark again and again, nocking and firing without pause. It seemed he’d set his heart in steel to shoot all his arrows, then fight the soul-eating goddess up close. His hands were steady, each shot met their mark. A shame that all their tools were useless against her!

Both Jiang Chen and Lan WangJi were waiting for news at the buddha foot town, who knew when they’d realise trouble was brewing and hurry to the scene. Using fire to extinguish a fire, the cultivation tools were useless. Better to use the demonic way!

Wei WuXian grabbed Lan SiZhui’s sword and cut off a narrow length of bamboo. He hacked it into a flute, hands flying. He placed it against his lips and took a long, bottomless breath. The piercing note flew with the arrow, cutting through the night sky, parting the firmament.

It was the last resort, he used it reluctantly. But with the situation in its current state, he didn’t care what he summoned as long as it was resentful enough, savage enough.  

Lan SiZhui was shocked dumb. Lan JingYi covered his ears and said, “The situation’s already like this - what are you playing a flute for? It sounds horrid!”

In the brawl, already three or four cultivators had their souls sucked away, Jin Ling unsheathed his sword, no further than 20 feet from the goddess. His heart thundering madly in his chest, a rush of hot blood surging into his skull. “If I can’t behead it with this sword, then I’m going to die here --- so be it!”

From the forests of DaFan Mountain there emitted a clanking sound.

Clank, jingle, clank, jingle. At times fast, at times slow. It echoed in the dead silence of the forest. The strike of iron against iron, metal dragging the ground. It grew closer and closer, louder and louder.

This sound was unexplainably threatening. Even the soul-eating goddess halted her dance, her arms raised, gaze distracted towards the depths from whence the sound came.

Wei WuXian put away the flute. Focused, he patiently waited for whatever approached.

In his heart the apprehension weighed heavier and heavier. But the fact that it would heed his beck and call meant – at the very least - it was something that would listen to his command.

The sound stopped, a figure emerged from the darkness.

After a clear look at this figure and its face, the expressions of the cultivators twisted.

Though their soul may be sucked away in an instant, they would confront a soul-eating goddess without a trace of fear or cowardice. But now, their cries brimmed with unconcealed fear.

“… ‘Ghost General’, it’s the ‘Ghost General’, Wen Ning!”

The title “Ghost General”, was of a similar nature to Yi Ling Patriarch - a bad name with a far reach, known by all. The two commonly appeared together.

This phrase could only represent a single being. The first and most eminent servant under Yi Ling Patriarch Wei Ying’s command. The wind stirring, ocean agitating, heaven inverting accomplice to the tyrant, the malicious corpse that should have been ground to dust long ago, Wen Ning!

    *ok “heavenly woman” is probably “goddess”

*Dark Lady refers to Chinese mythology: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jiutian_Xuann%C3%BC

*Jade Emperor refers to Chinese mythology: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jade_Emperor

*random aside – this reminds me of childbirth where the father can only watch, powerless, as his wife goes through one of the biggest tribulations of her life.

[jeremystrele]

Caring for New Mothers Shouldn’t Stop at Six Weeks, According To Author + Co-Founder of Mama Goodness, Jessica Prescott

Caring for New Mothers Shouldn’t Stop at Six Weeks, According To Author + Co-Founder of Mama Goodness, Jessica Prescott

Family

Ashe Davenport

Cookbook author, postpartum doula and co-founder of Mama Goodness, Jess Prescott, with her two boys Louie and Jude. Photo – Bri Hammond for The Design Files.

Little Jude and Jess reading a book. Photo – Bri Hammond for The Design Files.

Jess and her husband Andy at home in Preston. Photo – Bri Hammond for The Design Files.

Andy, Louie, Jude and Jess in bed! Photo – Bri Hammond for The Design Files.

Jess with Louie, who started school this year. Photo – Bri Hammond for The Design Files.

Jess is a vegan chef who has written multiple coobooks! Photo – Bri Hammond for The Design Files.

The family at their dining table. Photo – Bri Hammond for The Design Files.

Jess letting Jude outside. Photo – Bri Hammond for The Design Files.

Louie checking on the lemons in the backyard. Photo – Bri Hammond for The Design Files.

Jess and Jude cheersing with watermelon! Photo – Bri Hammond for The Design Files.

Jess and Jude having a snack. Photo – Bri Hammond for The Design Files.

What I would have given for a Jess Prescott after I gave birth to my first baby. And my second. And right now, for that matter, as I tow my 3 + 5 year old to daycare and rush to work, only to rush back two hours later with reports of a snotty nose. Then home to the impossible task of working while parenting as my “sick” child climbs mountains of folding yelling for snacks. Infinite, eternal snacks. 

Jess says postpartum is forever. And maybe that’s a healthy way to look at things. Because rates of postpartum depression are at an all-time high. Daycare fees are inordinate. And a third of mothers describe their birth as traumatic. There’s immense pressure to look incredible, have meaningful careers and “hold space” for our kid’s tsunami of emotion. All on Very. Little. Sleep. 

We need all the support we can get. At a policy level, in the workplace, at home, in life. Jess provides that support through Mama Goodness. And teaches us how to ask for it.

Ashe Davenport: There’s pressure on birthing people to “snap back” after the baby arrives, physically, emotionally, socially, etc. How much do you hate that on a scale of 1-100?

Jess Prescott: I don’t ‘hate’ it per se, but I am deeply saddened by it as it is detrimental to the mental and physical health of birthing people, which trickles down to their children, their community, and society at large. Nothing is the same after birth. How can they be when we have gone through one of the most monumental transitions we will ever go through as humans? To grow and birth a baby is a massive undertaking that requires deep rest in the days, weeks and months that follow. Birthing people need to be physically and emotionally nourished, and given the time and space to bond with the living, breathing piece of themselves they have brought into the world. And not worry about whether or not their jeans fit.

My Maternal and Child Health Nurse was most interested in weighing grams and ticking boxes. And my Parents’ Group was grim. What do you think is missing from the standard support systems available to new parents? 

Compassion. Help. FOOD. Raising little humans is just so hard, and even with the best supports in place, sleep deprivation can make the strongest of people unravel. There needs to be more acknowledgment of this, and the narrative needs to shift so that people feel safe admitting they aren’t coping. We need to normalise the challenges that parents of small humans go through, so that others know how to help, and so that help becomes the norm and not the thing we seek out only when we are at rock bottom.

It also truly baffles me that support tends to only last for 6 or so weeks, and anything beyond that is considered indulgent. After the meal train runs out and the doula and midwife visits stop, we are left on our own with a tiny baby and sometimes multiple other children. Most babies are still waking multiple times in the night and we are unable to put them down in the day time, not even to shower or fix ourselves something to eat. Time after time, I’ve seen new mums struggle with this as I bid them farewell at my final Postpartum Doula visit. There is a sense of bewilderment as they wonder how they will survive the days alone after feeding their hungry little babies all night now that partners have gone back to work and all paid support has come to a bittersweet end. Society needs to change its view of mothers so that they are shown the reverence they deserve, rather than being cast aside until they are able to rejoin the workforce.

I notice a lot of people’s eyes glaze over when I talk about motherhood. Either that or they’re completely horrified. How do you respond to that?

Haha oh the eye glaze. I mean, I get it. They have different interests to me and that’s ok. I’m not sure I was overly excited about the children of strangers before I was a mother myself. Now I understand that to most people, our children are an extension of ourselves, and when people pay attention to our kids or our boring stories about our kids, it is deeply validating. People who GET that are very special. 

As for the horror, well, I remind them that the love outweighs it all. It really does. It doesn’t make sense until you know that love yourself, but it does. Motherhood is the most deeply humbling journey I have ever been on, and it has added a depth to my character that I am grateful for, even on the hardest of days.

Social media: friend or sadist to a vulnerable parent craving connection/visibility? 

Both! We are very lucky to have access to so much information and connection at our fingertips and I know I’m not alone when I say that Instagram made the endless hours of breastfeeding more bearable. But it is up to us to curate our feed. If someone makes us feel yuck, either unfollow or mute them. We owe no explanation to anyone except ourselves.

I burned with shame at the thought of someone knowing I wasn’t coping. What would you say to that new parent who desperately needs help, but refuses to admit it?

Oh gosh, I wish you could see how hard it is for everyone, that you are not alone in your struggles and that even that ‘perfect mum’ to whom everything comes effortlessly is struggling. Everyone is struggling in their own way, even non-parents. It’s ok to need help. It’s normal to need help. How this help looks will be different for everyone but you are not alone. It is FUCKING HARD to raise a family.  It’s not something we were ever supposed to do alone, so to feel like you need help means there is something RIGHT with you, not something wrong.

I also want to add that postpartum depression is most commonly diagnosed when the firstborn child is 4 years old – regardless of whether subsequent children are born. Keep checking in on your friends, people. Especially the strong ones and even when their babies aren’t babies anymore.

How do you hope a new mum feels after a delivery from Mama Goodness? 

Loved. Seen. Relieved. Overjoyed. Like a giant weight has been lifted off their shoulders. That they can rest easy knowing that meals and snacks are taken care of for the next few days, and that everything they consume will be bringing them maximum nutrition. Like they are a part of our village.

What’s the last miniature joy you experienced?

Oh, they are all around me! This morning when Andy handed me my coffee. Every morning when Jude says ‘you have a good sweep mama?’ as he wraps his little body around mine. Or when he grabs my face and says ‘I wuv you so much’ followed by ‘I wuv your hair’.

How should people support new mums when they are visiting – What are the visitor ‘do’s and don’ts’ for 0-6 weeks postpartum?

Don’t expect to visit in the first couple of weeks. It is such a tender and raw time, most people have no idea what day or time it is and are still bonding with their baby and learning to breastfeed. If you are lucky enough to receive an invite over, bring food. Send a message when you’re on your way, reminding them that they don’t need to tidy before you come, and asking if they need anything. Even if they say no, ALWAYS BRING FOOD. Only stay for a maximum of an hour and make sure you wash your hands but don’t for one minute expect to hold the baby, unless they ask you to so that they can shower/go to the bathroom/play with their toddler/nap. Make them a tea and wash any dishes in the sink while you are at it. Ask how you can help. Give heaps of attention to their other children. Don’t be late, they probably have naps and midwife visits scheduled around your visit.

And 6+ weeks postpartum?

Again, food. Don’t expect that because the birthing person is past that 6 week mark they are miraculously able to resume their old life. Getting out of the house with a small child is a full time job. Offer to go to them, unless they are desperate for an outing in which case, invite them over and send them home with food. Tell them how amazing and beautiful they are, tell them you are in awe of them, and ask them how they are TRULY doing. 

Did I mention you should always give a person with a new baby FOOD??!! Even when they have a 6 or 9 month old, they need food!

What food should we bring to a friend who has just had a baby?

Anything that’s easy to digest, can be eaten with one hand and can be frozen if their fridge is full already (lucky them!). Think soups, stews, lasagna, cottage pie etc. To me, a perfect food hamper contains a lasagna, a soup, a loaf of bread, something sweet such as chocolate or cookies, and tea. Of course you can always just order a pack from Mama Goodness. But seriously, even a pie from your local bakery will be appreciated. New mums are HUNGRY!

FAMILY FAVOURITES

Family cafe

It’s not really a café, but a small Turkish bakery that my family frequents – Tammy’s at the Preston market. Tammy is the loveliest person and she is vegan which means there are endless vegan options as well as non-vegan options. The mushroom and cheese borek is heaven and if you are lucky enough to visit on a day when Tammy has made dolmas, you are in for a treat. I love it so much. There are so many great cafes in Melbourne but none of them feel like home the way Tammy’s does.

‘Me time’ activity?

Pilates, baby!

Sunday morning breakfast ritual? 

Sunday mornings are just as chaotic as the rest of the week as the boys still want brekky at 6am which is way too early for me to eat. But on a good week, I make sourdough on Saturday which I then bake first thing Sunday morning. By the time it’s ready to eat, the boys are ready for their second breakfast and we sit together and eat endless slices. They call it ‘mama bread’. It’s really special.

Weekend getaway?

Anglesea used to be our go-to because my in-laws had a house there. They recently sold, which is bittersweet because we truly love that part of Victoria, but it means we are being forced to explore other pockets of regional Victoria. I have to say, I am yet to be disappointed, we are really very lucky here and manage to find yum food and good op shops wherever we go.

Head to Mama Goodness to book one of Jess’s postpartum doula or food services. And you can check out her brilliant cookbooks, Vegan One-Pot Wonders, Vegan Goodness & Vegan Goodness: Feasts

Need support with perinatal anxiety and depression? You’re not alone. This is a serious illness that affects up to one in five expecting or new mums and one in ten expecting or new dads. PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia) is a great resource for women, men and families who need help – click here to find out more.  

[scatteredmartianthoughts]

Why Persona 5/Royal means so much to me and how I view my bonds (ADDENDUM: SPOILERS WILL BE INCLUDED - YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)

As I am writing this, I am 7 years past from conventional Australian high school life and just about a year past from graduating from university life. With adult life, it is tough to create time for yourself, let alone for your friends. Each and every one of us have different priorities: work, further studies, family, kids, bills to pay, etc. In addition, an actual health crisis in COVID-19 on top of the already giant wave of cynicism that we’re facing about the world from years prior makes the future seem pretty bleak. Wearing masks, following proper hygiene and especially social distancing is consistent globally (or at least should be while we’re still dealing with COVID-19). Sure, we can use technology as a way to connect, and it undeniably helps in maintaining our bonds, but it is not the same as actually being in person and spending time with them. With the epidemic putting a worldwide stranglehold on everyone, along with the stresses of growing up, creating and maintaining our bonds became a lot more difficult. So random question: What do you think of when someone brings up Persona 5 (P5) or Persona 5 Royal (P5R)? A masterclass of dynamic visuals and flair that is distinctive and aesthetically and thematically fitting our striking and rebellious protagonists in the Phantom Thieves? Top tier soundtrack? A fantastic turn based RPG system based on combos, follow-ups and support? Or maybe the personas themselves being the manifestations of the inner self and reflecting one’s inner strife and turmoil like dealing with death and grief (P3), or handling and understanding our true self (P4) or rebelling against corruption as we mature in an unjust world (P5)? All legitimate answers. Just a small addendum: P5R is an enhanced version of vanilla P5 that adds more personas, tweaks the combat and level up system to make it more seamless but compensates it with more intelligent A.I. and especially added story content (we’ll especially get to this part later). Yet, when I think about this game, I think about the social simulator aspect that works in tandem and beautifully complements the RPG gameplay where we explore the supernatural world of that particular Persona game. In both games, it acts as a way to worldbuild the busy streets and areas in and near Shibuya. You’ll encounter many different key support characters, within and outside the main cast of your group, the Phantom Thieves of Heart. By getting to know these characters and ranking up each confidant (maximum rank is 10 for each), you will be able to access a whole plethora of special abilities such as: learning new methods to down opponents instantaneously, access to personas only available by maximising each confidant’s rank, access to immensely helpful combat and support items and methods and especially the transforming your team member’s initial Personas into stronger forms. From a narrative perspective, you will get to know each character better, as they vent and confide their hopes, dreams, fears and desires whilst each of their stories fit with the major themes of maturation, finding your own road, rebellion and corruption. Yet, you can’t just immediately get to know all of them at once. In game, you’re just a transfer high school student. While you have free time, similar to real life, you have to make a choice on how to use it. Should you spend time getting to know a person? Or maybe level up one of your social stats like knowledge or kindness? Or working a casual job to get money? Maybe tackle one of those side missions?  There’s no “correct” choice on how you spend your time. Heck, it is even more interesting that these are all optional. It is up to you whether or not you get to learn these characters and get to know them. Some are completely missable if you don’t explore hard enough. Essentially, on one side, you’re just a normal high student that unfortunately was dealt a terrible hand and on the other, you’re the leader of the Phantom Thieves. Codename: Joker. Since P3, the social link/confidant system I just described uses a very interesting motif: the tarot card system. As the protagonist of your story, you are the Wild Card - Arcana Number 0: The Fool. In order to attain a form of enlightenment at journey’s end, also referred to as the World Arcana, you will encounter many other Arcana before reaching said end. Each significant social link/confidant you meet in-game, regardless if they become a party member or NPC, are each represented by one part of the Arcana series.  This is due to symbolsing on what kind of individual and personality they have but also what challenges they need help overcoming and what they represent to the in-game protagonist of each game. Mind you, it has been stressed that any character that fits any of the arcana cannot be those who will only be friends or acquaintances within a superficial nature. It has to be a close, trusting friendship that grows with effort and time. Here are some examples. Those who represent the Emperor are often male characters who try to control their own surroundings but are troubled by something(s) very personal and don’t know how to deal with it. Characters that fit the Temperance are those who struggle to find the harmony and balance that they desire. And those who suit the Hermit arcana tend to the smartest people that you will meet but tend to be introverts or those who desire more supportive roles. We’ve definitely met people within our lives that fit the criteria of the noted examples. Yet, by meeting these types of interesting people within our lives, through that time and effort, both sides can attain a form of wisdom and learn from each other. I’ll use an in-game example: Toranosuke Yoshida. To Joker, this confidant is represented by the Sun Arcana. Anyone from this group tends to be people who are on the surface have a sense of confidence, hope and optimism but ironically find themselves in terrible situations that constantly hurts their self-esteem, self worth and constantly questions their own purpose in life. For this game, he is an optional social link that can only be unlocked after taking on two shifts within the Beef Bowl job at Shibuya’s Central Street. He is an eldery gentleman and a politician who hopes to make amends for his terrible and corrupt mistakes of the past but also to make a positive change in a stagnant Japanese political system. He is seen making an earnest effort in giving speeches in front of a crowd near a subway’s gateway. Although demonstrating impressive speech-giving skills, as soon as a critical voice in the crowd shouts out “No-Good Tora”, his past regrets and lack of self-esteem shows and loses the crowd’s attention as he cracks under negative pressure. By meeting him, he found a youth who is willing to believe in his message, support him in his live speeches and also a hope of a younger generation that is willing to make a change. While the MC found a redeemed adult, after dealing with corrupt adults, and who is willing to learn about his diplomatic and speech-giving skills. As you rank up his confidant, you get to learn to negotiate with downed enemies for more money, rarer items and to possibly join your team, alongside unlocking the fusion recipe for the strongest Persona you can obtain from this Arcana: Asura. In the narrative sense, he starts to gain his confidence and learn on dealing with voices that are critical or even adverse to his live speeches and even flip the momentum back into his favour, while still being respectful and charismatic. In the conclusion of his confidant link (Rank 10), after several distinct story content relegated to his arc (which I won’t spoil), Yoshida gives a heartfelt speech in front of a larger, excited, more supportive crowd than from the past. Not about the current government. Not about his desire to be a part of the Diet Building. But about how he met this young man, although with different methodologies, is trying to reform the world. Yoshida admits that it seems like a tough mountain to cross. His anecdote gives an impression to the audience that this young man reinspired him to go for his aspirations and reminds them to go for it as well. Even though they can’t share the same path, Yoshida confidently states that they “will surely meet at the peak”. He admits from a previous speech that his efforts may not be heeded now but will hopefully be a stepping stone for future generations. Before that final speech, in private, he deduced that you were a member of the Phantom Thieves but won’t meddle in your affairs. If anything, he respects their tenacity and vision. It’s not even the most emotional nor most dramatically interesting confidant or story. Yet, it left me with an amazing impression that through weird, random scenarios and situations, you can meet people who are worth meeting and understanding. In greater reflection, although I am blessed to have both quality and quantity in terms of my major friends, if I were to apply this motif in how I view my bonds, I could say that each of their personalities and stories can represent each part of the arcana, with definitie overlap in notable places. With just some examples, with the people I’ve met, I’ve learned to be a bit more confident in my skills, embrace my tastes and hobbies and understand from their faults and failures as they have from learning from my own errors and mistakes. You could say that in my journey through life, to evolve from the Fool and learn some knowledge of the World, I encountered and befriended many people from many different backgrounds, cultures, tastes, personalities and worldviews and appreciated every single one of them. I hope that maybe by spending their time with me, they gained some sort of food-for-thought advice that may help them moving forward in conjunction with knowing they have a friend in me.

Then there is the ending of P5R’s 3rd semester. Exclusive to P5R, it can only be unlocked after meeting certain criteria. What I loved about this arc would be that it was largely teased and set up from previous moments in the game. Without spoiling the meat of the story of this arc, it added an intriguing layer of nuance and depth to the aforementioned themes surrounding the game and also added one more thought-provoking theme to the mix: stagnation. Before continuing, I think it is best to first address vanilla P5’s ending. Joker and the rest of the main cast finally helped stop a potentially world-ending crisis and retire from being Phantom Thieves. With the MC moving back home, instead of just saying one final goodbye, the group of friends offered to drive him back. On a near empty highway, the clear skies and the open breeze. The future doesn’t belong to anyone but ourselves and we can see how bright it is, together. Now let’s go to P5R’s two major endings. Yes, you heard me right. The final antagonist essentially created a world where the deepest wishes that a character has is granted and the greatest regret and/or wrong is corrected. For example: Haru has the close relationship with her father she always wanted...even though he died during the main story via previous events. Morgana finally got to be a human...even though it spits on his previous acceptance on what he actually is and his true role to the main cast. Essentially, everything seems so perfect yet everything feels so wrong. Before the final confrontation/boss battle, the final antagonist offers one final choice to the MC. Will you allow them to take over the world and allow yourself to live in their version of “paradise”? Or will you reject it, willing to go on and continue onwards and forge the path that you desire, even with problems persisting throughout? Let’s say you choose the former option, what happens? In summary, whilst on the surface seems like a joyous ending, is actually quite haunting on closer analysis. While the crew can still stay together, the MC doesn’t need to leave Shibuya, Akechi is alive and Kasumi is happy, it still seems off. Yes, the main cast gets their wishes but it also ignores the challenges and tribulations each member went through that built their inner strength and ideals. There's a group shot at the end at LeBlanc’s with everyone in frame. Everything feels right but the MC and Akechi are looking at you: the player. In this arc, they were the ones who, plotwise, were against the entire idea of submitting their future, morals and ideals for an easy way out. You gave up. Notice it says “END” at the bottom right? You chose a stagnant future. Nothing goes wrong but nothing progresses. A beautiful lie. There’s nothing beyond this. But what happens when you choose the latter option to reject? Post final battle, it is not only the final disbandment of the Phantom Thieves but also a parting of ways for the main cast. Ryuji is moving away in order to return back to the track team and have rehabilitation for his injured knee. Ann is planning to do some studying abroad for her future career. Yusuke has greater inspiration and motivation to return to painting. Makoto and Haru are planning to move away as well for their own higher education and individual career aspirations. Futaba finally breaks out of her shell and plans to enter high school and research cognitive psience in college. In his rejection of a false paradise, Akechi is finally able to rest in peace. Sumire, with a renewed heart, will no longer linger behind in her late sister’s accomplishments but achieve her own feats and achieve her and her own sister’s connected dreams. And finally, Joker will return to his hometown, with Morgana joining him. Instead of one final car ride together, Joker and Morgana, after saying their final goodbyes, take the bullet train home. To say that it is bittersweet and left me in shambles is an understatement. But yet, it is the perfect ending and an interesting twist to the original P5’s ending. It redefined the major theme of freedom. P5R took a bold approach in saying that we each have our unique path in life and must walk it, even if it may be “alone”. However, with the bonds that we’ve beautifully weaved, those that are true will always return to each other one day. In P5R’s true ending, it closes with “FIN”. Although it is finishing this story, there will be another tale right around the corner for us. It further re-emphasised and reminded me of my current viewpoint and situations with all of my friends as someone removed from both high school and university life and made their way into the real world. As I’ve explained before, it is nowhere near as easy as it once was. We are all no longer connected by a mutual place where we can easily just hang out and create random memories, where creating time is not a worry. That each of my closest friends, even with similar interests or dreams, have their own distinct aspirations and futures. Hell, I’ve made a lot of great friends but because of a number of reasons, I just felt time made us further distant from each other and making those fun times feel like several lifetimes ago. It feels disheartening and cruel but those who matter will find a way back or remain in contact. I want to share a small anecdote. I just randomly messaged one of my old childhood, primary school friends to see how they are going with life. What was supposed to be just a quick checkup between two old friends ended up being an impromptu, primary school reunion of up to 7 people (including myself). Mind you, I haven’t seen some of them in person for 5+ years. And yet, it is one of my favourite memories as of yet. We’re all walking different paths but felt amazing to see how each of them are going with their own personal journey and their growth. Just with this group, I have no clue when we’ll have something similar to this again but even if time may separate us for years, we’ll find a way back to hang out once more.

Another thing that this game helped reminded and re-emphasised me of, would be how important YOU play a part in your friend’s lives as they have to you. It sounds narcissistic but let me explain. In the game, at the very last day, you will say your final farewells to your teammates and all others who played a part within your journey. If you max ranked the confidants outside of the main cast, you definitely feel  the greater impact and appreciation of your effort. Kawakami is no longer bound to a double life and has her passion to teach again. Iwai doesn’t need to hide his Yakuza past nor how he brought in his adopted son and finally has a new chance to be the father he always wanted to be. Yoshida finally has the confidence to not only acknowledge and learn from his corrupt political past but also has the greater confidence to move forward and stand for the younger generation who aspire for a bright future. These are just some of the examples of your effort bearing fruit.  I will admit to doubting that my efforts are really helpful at all. I think for the most part, at best, I’ll just contribute a minor part to their happiness and/or growth. Yet, similar to the game, you will meet people that are legitimately grateful for your presence, time, effort and love. It is still crazy to me when someone affirms me and is grateful for my efforts when I spend time with them. That especially goes both ways as I feel immensely happy that there are those who are willing to take a risk and make time for some random idiot like myself and get to know me and who I am. Mind you, my love languages are Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. Regardless of whatever you believe in, may it be God, the universe or coincidence or dumb luck, it genuinely warms my heart and soul and eases my mind to know that effort to make time is worthwhile and to be acknowledged for my efforts; as if I met these people, and maybe even more, at the right place and at the right stage of my life. Regardless of when you met a close friend, do not underestimate your impact (something I still need to learn myself). You never know if what you do for them may be one of the things they need to see and hear.

Friendships and bonds are important.  It sounds so overly played that the moral goes beyond a cliche’ and became a meme. Yet, both iterations of Persona 5 was a game I needed for my post education life - entering the real/full time working world. In an era where the world seems so divided and that time has separated each of us to our unique paths and made each other so distant, P5 and P5R allowed me to reflect on how I viewed my own bonds with closest friends in a new era of my life. It made me appreciate my current bonds on a whole new level. I don’t know who needs to read this right now, but thank you for being there. Even if I just met you just the other day or we’ve been friends for many years, please know that I appreciate you for who you are and what you mean to me. Thank you for giving some part of your time to make mine feel just a bit more timeless. I hope, even in our twilight years, that we continue to make many memories and grow within our bonds. To those who I’ve failed, I apologise. I have no idea if we can reconnect and make it the way things as they were before or allow time to walk our own paths but I hope you will find the happiness you deserve. If we do reconnect, I’ll do my best to keep improving as a person and as a friend. Just know that you are not worthless and you’ll always have people that do desire to be with you. Even with more grim scenarios, I know you’ll meet people who WILL be there for you. It’s tough to execute in practice as we go forward but not impossible to make the time and effort. I want to end this blog with a quote from Ann to the player as the MC prepares to say goodbye to all his closest friends and confidants (via the new true ending from P5R): “I’ve gotta reach people. I wanna give someone hope - like you did for me. Thank you for all you’ve done. The days I spent with you were some of the brightest in my life. Once I’m a star, I’m gonna shine even brighter, though - so watch out for me!”

Addendum: Sorry for being so late on this post. A lot of stuff was happening on my end and I wanted to make sure whenever I write a blog post, I write with the right mindset as I want to make it as genuine as possible and speak from the heart. I hope you enjoyed reading through this one. Next to Super Mario Galaxy, Persona 5 (more so the Royal version) is one of my favourite games of all time (currently my 2nd at the time I’m writing this). I definitely wanted to discuss its impact on me, similar to Galaxy. Hope you guys are doing well and will look forward to my next discussion topics that lie ahead.

[iksathrob]

Property managers around the country will be using National Property Manager’s Day on 24 July to mark one of their most challenging years yet. // // The coronavirus pandemic has put immense pressure on the rental market and property managers have pivoted quickly to handle legislative changes to tenancy acts, rent negotiations between tenants and landlords and larger portfolios than they may have previously had – all of this while working completely mobile and paperless. By going above and beyond their job descriptions, these real estate professionals have helped keep many Australian tenants in a home and ensured landlords are able to continue paying off their mortgages. Leah Calnan, president of Real Estate Institute of Victoria, said property managers deserve to be celebrated because “they are the conduit in every tenancy.” “They manage the difficult conversations, they deal with the issues, they provide support to both parties at different times and they need to have an understanding of legislation, maintenance, finances and social work,” Ms Calnan said.  The future for property managers continues to look like it has over the past few months, however, most have found themselves adapting to a new norm. They have supported emotional clients There is no denying that most Australians are going through a highly emotional time, in fact, Lifeline Australia experienced a 25% increase in calls for help in March 2020 compared to the same time last year, with the majority of callers wanting to talk about COVID-19. The home is a very important part of our lives so when something threatens that, it impacts emotions. With many individuals being stood down from jobs due to lockdown laws, there has been a surplus of tenants and landlords who have found themselves in financial hardship. For tenants, this means they struggle to pay the rent and bills, and for many landlords, mortgage repayments have become a struggle. Property managers have found themselves dealing with highly emotional tenants and landlords. Picture: realestate.com.au/rent Amy Sanderson, network head of property investment management for LJ Hooker, said herself and her team have dealt with many distressed tenants and landlords during the health crisis, and have become more resilient as a result. “Everyone has been emotional and when people are emotional they don’t necessarily respond to things, they react to things,” she said. “When people react, it’s not always in the best light and property managers have done a great job in dealing with that.” Ms Sanderson explained that at the beginning of COVID-19, it was difficult to keep on top of all the changes to legislation across all states and territories. She said her team would receive calls from tenants and landlords asking questions that they didn’t yet know the answer to. “Tenants were abusing us and we couldn’t give answers, we were too nervous to give answers, because if we gave answers and new legislation came out, we would be locked in to something that wasn’t right, we needed the certainty and clarity to know what we were talking about. “And that’s where the property managers have had to be really strong, because they get blamed for a lot on social media, and it’s not necessarily within their control, they’ve had to have broad shoulders,” Ms Sanderson said. They have become highly skilled negotiators Not only did new COVID-19 tenancy legislation mean property managers had to wrap their heads around what now applied to the rental industry, but many saw an increase in listings added to their portfolios. This was especially true for property managers working in inner-city markets. Georgia Soldatos, team leader and accountability manager at Belle Property Management, manages properties in North Melbourne and Carlton. With less demand from international students due to border closures and an increase in short-term listings converting to residential listings, Ms Soldatos and her team have been managing more properties that they are used to. Negotiating with tenants has become the new norm in inner city areas. Picture: realestate.com.au/rent “Some of my team members have got 10 vacates coming up,” she said. With this increase in listings and without nearly as much demand, Ms Saldatos said they have found themselves heavily negotiating to try to keep tenants in a property. “Tenants are seeing that and know they can get properties for $50-$100 cheaper, so we’re trying to convince owners that they’ve got really good tenants who are maintaining the property and we don’t want to see them go,” Ms Soldatos said. “It’s about convincing the owners that even if they take a $50 a week rent reduction, they’ll still be in a better position than having a property sitting vacant, trying to lease it out, paying advertising, letting fees. “We’re trying to find a happy medium between tenants and landlords, because many properties are out there at the moment that are cheaper and tenants think it’s an easy way out. It’s about negotiating, a lot of negotiating with owners to drop rents so they don’t lose tenants.” They are becoming mobile agents COVID-19 has had a devastating impact on many industries, many of which have had to shut down. But the real estate sector has had to push past the hurdles brought on by the pandemic as it is classed as an essential service. Many real estate agencies have closed shop with employees forced to work from home instead, and property managers are no exception. Inspections are still going ahead but they are now being done via private appointments or virtually, particularly in Victoria, creating a new challenge for property managers. Terri Keskinen, head of property management at Code Property Group, said COVID-19 has really pushed herself and her team to becoming completely mobile and paperless, which she says is an exciting prospect for the future. “We had to change our systems and our processes, because property management is traditionally a paper nightmare,” she said. “We have always prided ourselves on being a paperless office, but COVID gave us the kick to realise we still actually do use paper. We are now 100% paperless in our office… that was our biggest change in that we converted everything to online.” // // Ms Keskinen’s team also embraced digital inspections to showcase rentals and saw top results. “Our leasing girls adapted so much quicker than we ever thought, they jumped on with 360 degree cameras, video walk throughs, Facetiming – they just flew out the door, we were renting an average of 10 properties a week,” she said. “I think for everyone in my office, they’ve just absolutely embraced change, they’ve adapted, they’ve grown, because it was a matter of sink or swim.” What does the future have in store for property managers? While in some states, restrictions are easing, in others including Victoria, strict lockdown laws are back in place. Despite the latest federal government stimulus announcement that JobKeeper and JobSeeker wage supplements will be extended at a reduced level until March 2021, the prospects for the rental market will look much the same as it has over the last few months. Property managers know that they must continue to push through this difficult time to support the rental market, using their new skills to ensure tenants and landlords remain happy. Property managers will continue to deal with a difficult rental climate amid COVID-19. Picture: Getty “This isn’t a short-term issue, it’s going to be a long-term issue and in order to stand out, the property managers and the companies, the real estate agencies, will have to be really proactive in negotiating, providing some rent relief and maintaining the tenants they have,” said Ms Soldatos. “Not just being reactive but proactive, [that is] contacting owners now more than ever. I’ve really pushed the team to start calling the owners and find out how they’re going so they don’t think we’re just a person behind a screen. We need to give them the heads up about what’s happening and what we have to do.” The post Property managers the unsung heroes of real estate during COVID-19 appeared first on realestate.com.au. from news – realestate.com.au https://ift.tt/2ONFin0

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[torentialtribute]

Rugby news: Owen Farrell says pressure to emulate 2003 World Cup win is ‘exciting’

My relationship with the Farrell family goes back much further than many would think.

1990 I was on a mission to sign Jason Robinson, the superstar of the dominant Wigan rugby league team and was determined to bring him to the union.

I thought he could become a hero in our team in England.

I had met Robinson several times and in October 1998 I traveled to Old Trafford to watch the Super League Grand Final. I went to look at Robinson but finally looked at Andy Farrell.

He was the captain of Wigan that day and was just immense, Wigan won 10-4, Farrell kicked the goals and raised the cup.

I remember telling my coaching team and players that we were Farrell

I tried to sign him at the same time as Robinson, but he said no, he couldn't see himself in union at the time, and I continued to study him as a captain.

so surreal, but brilliant to meet his son 21 years later this week in Pennyhill Park as he prepares to meet Engela to lead to the Rugby Union World Cup.

I passed on my story about Andy to Owen for the first time and – quickly as a flash – he was able to fill in the details of the competition.

& # 39; Jason scored & # 39 ;, he recalls. 'I was there. It was the first final ever in the Super League. I was seven and would have gone to the field to celebrate. My father would have been 24. & # 39;

We know that Farrell Jnr is an obsessive rugby, but I was impressed by his memory of a game so long ago.

Farrell Jnr is an obsessive rugby and will be a key figure for the World Cup campaign of England

He is now the leader of this team in England and in my mind absolutely the key figure if they want to win the World Cup.

This was my first real chance to sit down and talk rugby with him, coach to player, so I was fascinated to hear his thoughts about the game and leadership. After all, I know it's in his genes. It is understandable that Farrell does not like to talk about his father, so who does he admire from other sports?

"The ones I look at are the most with the lifespan," he says. "They are the ones that fascinate me the most.

" I go to American sports – Tom Brady [American Football] Michael Jordan [basketball] – and try to figure out how much I can about them.

& # 39; It would be more people who have been at the top for a long time and continue to find new ways to stay there.

& # 39; It is not only that they have come there to do what they have always done, it is how they reinvent themselves; things change to keep themselves in front. & # 39;

And what does he admire with leaders in particular?

& # 39; The most important thing for me – and I think I've seen this from the best leaders, in my eyes, is the authenticity of what they say, & Farrell reveals.

& # 39; They are real. And all those leaders have been different, it's not the case that one way is the right way to do it, it's how you see and convey things.

& # 39; If what you say is genuine and authentic, people buy in it. If there is a little doubt in your head when you say that people sometimes nod their heads, but it does not resonate. & # 39;

Farrell admires the authenticity of leaders and preparations for skipper England this year

This is music in my ears. There is so much emphasis nowadays on how to produce a winning mentality or culture, but without authenticity and conviction who will follow you? If you don't believe in what you say, everyone can see through it.

"You can feel it yourself," Farrell adds. "If you say something and really mean it, you'll get excited yourself. If it is not like you can fall flat yourself, imagine that you are the person listening. & # 39;

As he says this, I am thinking of Martin Johnson. Like Farrell, Johnson was one of the best players in my English team and he was authentic; really. He led the good example. As a result, he was unmistakably present.

Famous in the tunnel, when he was about to lead the team to the biggest game in England's long history, as opposed to Australia in Sydney, Johnson looked at them to say he had last words like him always did – but this time said nothing. He knew they were ready, words were not necessary.

Farrell and Johnson did not speak to each other, but recently met to talk about leadership.

The 27-year-old recently had former captain Martin Johnson met to talk about leadership

& # 39; It was refreshing to see how simple and sincere his way of thinking was & # 39 ;, says Farrell.

& # 39; Knowing your role, contributing to the team

& # 39; You can look for things and think you're going to find a new magical way to do something. but when you talk to the best, there seem to be no secrets. It's about doing everything that everyone knows, but doing it well. & # 39;

In addition to how they lead a team, Farrell seems to me to be a similar character to Johnson off the field.

Before I met Farrell, I watched videos released by the RFU that follow England's preparations for the World Cup.

Under the title & # 39; Rising Sounds & # 39; they map the progress of the team, clips behind the scenes and how the players relax, as well as training sessions and game images.

The English star also distances itself from social media and is cautious & # 39; for the effects

Some people clearly enjoy it and turn to the camera crew – their personalities really come to the fore. The video & # 39; s are well put together and are brilliant for fans – I really think they are an excellent way to engage the audience with their England team.

But when I look at the clips as a coach, I am more skeptical. I have always liked to build a mystique around my team.

Eddie Jones signs off the videos before they are released, but as a coach I wonder if they are properly revealing the opposition.

Farrell seems to distance himself from social media involvement. Remarkably, he is not very common in the films. Looking at his social media accounts, they are polite, pragmatic – which contrasts sharply with many modern sports people.

"I struggle a bit with it," he says frankly. & # 39; Especially because it's like publishing things that you think forever, which may not be the case. It might just be a thought at the time.

"People can go back years in people's accounts and bring things up. You could as well have put it on a piece of paper and framed it somewhere! It's like you think that forever.

I am really wary of that. I understand that it is attractive to people outside. Sometimes it is brilliant for people to understand what we are doing, to feel a connection with the team and the individuals.

Woodward believes Farrell will be an excellent leader for England until years

& # 39; I understand that, but even if I try to do something I type something out and eventually delete it. & # 39;

One of my own fallouts with the RFU was things like this. They wanted to film a fly-on-the-wall documentary about the England team for the World Cup and I initially said no.

Eventually I allowed it – on condition that it was released afterwards and our existing backroom staff did the filming in the camp. It was very low-key. We were there to win a tournament, not to make a film.

People cannot help but behave differently on the camera. It can be a distraction. It is interesting how times have progressed, but how some top athletes – such as Farrell – are reluctant to participate in that world.

I admire this care, maturity, an understanding of the greater whole and where the real focus is.

Again Farrell reminds me of Jonno. I see them as comparable, totemic characters and I bet they are the same in private.

Despite his fairly frank personality for the media, Jonno was completely different behind closed doors. I suspect Farrell is the same.

I truly believe that he will become an excellent leader of this English team in Japan and in the years to come.

Farrell is part of a seven-person leadership group and will have their support in Japan need

He tells me that he is part of a seven-person leadership group. He'll need those guys at the World Cup – he's already the number 10, the goal kicker and playmaker as well as the captain.

Like Johnson, Farrell cannot do everything. Who will be his Lawrence Dallaglio, his Jason Leonard, Matt Dawson, Will Greenwood and Neil Back?

When I ask about the dynamics between the leaders and coaches, Farrell assures me that this English team will have the confidence to speak when necessary, to respond in pressure situations and to challenge Eddie and the coaches.

& # 39; If we thought it was justified, we would do that & # 39 ;, says Farrell.

& # 39; It is up to us to have those relationships with the coaches in which we feel comfortable enough to say what we should do the players. I think we have that.

"I don't think there are many in this team who would say nothing if they thought it could make a difference.

We must be checked. That is in every situation. You have to be right emotionally, but with that there can be no despair and therefore lack of control. & # 39;

I always like to ask teams and athletes one question. How do you want to be remembered?

That means on Saturday, after the event, but also in 20 years time when you are retired.

Farrell replies: & # 39; As a player – until be as involved as I can be. What's the next step? Those kind of things. What happens now, what is the next step? & # 39;

The next step is a great opportunity. England has a real chance to win this World Cup. I hope they make their own history.

England has a real chance to win this year's World Cup and can make their own history

We are finally talking about the pressure of expectation. Farrell was 12 when England last won the World Cup in 2003.

& I was then a real rugby league boy and would not have been so closely followed, but I was crazy about any sport , & # 39; he says

& # 39; When an English team starts a World Cup final, everyone watches. I was like everyone else and I loved seeing England lift the World Cup.

"Regarding a burden – I have never seen it that way. I've always seen it as something brilliant. It is part of our history. Wanting to emulate is exciting. & # 39;

I hope that Farrell and his team do not abandon him and he is remembered as a player who gave everything in every game.

As England from the victory over the World Cup, Farrell will certainly join the pantheon of great English captains. He has all the features needed for the role.

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A perfectionist Society

(Assignment 1 - “writing a manifesto” from our first semester module - copywriting)

It’s different here. Hard to see at first but it becomes more and more obvious as time goes on. The way society works is a difficult subject to handle. The amount of research that has been done on the matter is immense. I can’t speak about the subject based on scientific discoveries or psychological statements. I speak about this matter simply from a person’s point of view that has decided to disconnect himself from one world, one society and try to connect himself to another.

The speed of life down here is a lot slower than what I’m used to. The subjects people generally talk about are not entirely different but definitely not the same. I remember walking in to a fresher’s event with a “fresher’s wristband” that granted you entry. Being called a “rich kid” in a scornful way when walking in was confusing. Hearing a classmate talk about her flatmates being “so middleclass it was funny” was a little odd as well. It’s what made me think about how society here and in Switzerland compare for the first time. Being judged on whether or not you have money or belong to a “class” were new concepts to me. Being judged on a monetary basis however, was not new to me. The youth of Zurich doesn’t judge you on whether you have money, you’re judged on how you spend it. Buying a Gucci belt or a Lacrosse polo shirt isn’t something you treat yourself to, it’s something you buy to fit in, into this superficial society.

I don’t believe people should feel like they do not belong to a group because of what financial status they’re families or they themselves have. Judging someone on what they spend their money on is absolutely absurd and should not play a deciding role in the life of a person.

Don’t judge people on a monetary basis.

Living near Zurich, everything moves fast. If you don’t adjust fast enough you fall behind and catching up is difficult. The constant pressure to follow the interests of mainstream society looms over one. I’ve seen people decently close to me become rejects simply because they did not share the same mind-set as the masses, did not believe in the same moral values. Something as simple as a group of kids buying the newest trainers on the market could trigger a whole trend which in turn forces others to follow their example. Buy them or risk getting rejected. Be different and risk getting rejected and not fitting in, into the superficial, perfectionist society.

I’ve come to this university and seen many different characters, met many different people. It’s a safe space for people to express themselves. To find themselves. This is where individuality is valued. Promoted even. It’s what a good society should feel like.

Don’t judge people on how they differ from the norm.

The way people look here is different too. Some are tall, skinny, short, fat. I haven’t witnessed any discrimination on an aesthetical basis. People are simply accepted the way they look like. The ‘perfect’ man or ‘perfect’ woman probably do exist. However, they are not omnipresent in media. The average man and woman seem real. Not perfect.

The first time I saw a guy in a TV ad that didn’t have rippling abs was when I came here. Going to the gym and lifting weights is what guys are almost expected to do at home. You want to be valued as a person? You have to look the part. This becomes apparent very early on. I remember it hitting me when I was 11. Guys that didn’t grow or hit puberty as soon as others, were no longer regarded as close friends you once hung out with. They slowly drifted to the back of the room and it’s sickening to think that something as intimate as hitting fucking puberty influences who is part or who is not part of a fucked up “higher class” of society so early on. It’s disgusting.

Once I was 14 the gym fad started. Everyone started going to the gym. From one day to the other, I kid you not. It’s like someone switched channels on a TV from one show to the other. The characters remained the same from the first show. They would struggle to adapt to the scene of the second. No one is the same so it should be obvious that some might be better at getting big in the gym and otehrs might have athletic abilities in becoming a marathon runner. Yet somehow society always seemed to overlook the fact that we are all individuals with different perks and different flaws. Once everyone has adapted to what the newest trend is all about, the channels simply gets switched again. Over and over. So that no one may rest or have a break. So that everyone needs to be hyper aware of a possible change that could happen any day.

To whoever said that diamonds are created under pressure, go fuck yourself. Kids don’t turn into diamonds under pressure, they crack and break. They grow up with a distorted image of themselves in the mirror. They disconnect completely from reality. They go on 0 calorie diets, how absurd is that? What the fuck is that even supposed to mean? An engine won’t run on air will it? Don’t excuse yourself from dinner with your family after you’ve eaten only half the portion, saying you needed the toilet, only to leave the rest of the family hearing you retch and puke. We can’t tell you that you need help. We know you do and it’s painful not being able to take action, not knowing how to, it tears us up on the inside but we let the situation stay the same and hope you get over whatever it is your going through… Long after you’ve gone to bed we ask ourselves how to help you through this phase your having and how we can help you recover. Then You start going out a lot less. It’s summer and you walk around in a long-sleeved jumper. The marks on your arms get noticed from time to time. It gets more and more difficult for you to hide them because you’re obviously boiling in the summer heat and we want to tell you to take off that bloody jumper but we know you can’t because you refuse to tell us what’s really going on in your head. It hurts us as much as it hurts you. We don’t want to see you suffering. Please stop it. What can one do when he sees his parents, the people one relied on for stability in life, at the edge of despair? Tensions within the whole family rise and one can only sit idly by as ones parents fight over what might have gone wrong when raising you, where this all came from all of a sudden. They refuse to accept the fact that they started seeing the signs long before you even knew what you were getting yourself into. They made the decision to let it rest and see how the situation would evolve.

They didn’t realize that the problem doesn’t come from inside the home. It comes from outside. Everywhere outside. On posters, TVs, billboards. Wherever one looks he sees what a perfect man or woman should look like and he makes it his goal to fit in. He might go to extreme lengths to do it, right there and then when he sees that ad. He does it to fit in, into this superficial, perfectionist, unforgiving society.

Don’t judge people on an aesthetical basis.

For I believe, that everyone deserves to feel welcome. That is when the perfectionist society, becomes a perfect society.