#everyday it's a dumb bitch doing dumb bitch activities

[alurite-l]

Yeah I'm gon go ahead and uninstall tiktok......

[pjo-hoo-toa-freakazoid]

A lil rant about my experience with this god forsaken fandom

I made this blog around 2020 when I was 13 years old. This was my first shot at a dedicated fandom blog and I was pretty excited for it, to make friends, draw fanart, post fun stuff and what not.

All fun right? Right, so tell me why was it that literal 20 years olds felt the need to harass me, a then 13 year old girl with a relatively small blog, for the dumbest reasons possible?

What did I do that subjected me to 2 and a half years worth constant daily threats and harassment? Hmm???

You wanna know my crime? Apparently I showed interest in an antagonist character, which is so awful that grown adults felt the need to bully me. And following those adults came young impressionable people my age, that joined the bandwagon of hate against me.

As if other fandoms don’t have people literally dedicating themselves to a villain, no one bats an eye to that. Why did this fandom have such an issue? I also apparently dared to criticise the main character for a few of his flaws. Such a horrible thing to do right? I need to be burnt at the stake for it right?

I didn’t follow the “fixed” standards of the fandom so I was to be sent de*th/r*pe threats daily?? For not following the “rules” I was to be ostracised?

No please someone explain…I’m but a dumb bitch, I don’t understand what I did so terribly wrong to deserve this? Did I start a war? Did I rip open someone’s plush? Did I bully someone for not having the same ideology as me?

No it was but the fandom itself that for some reason found it so fun to bully a 13 year old, send her de*th and r*pe threats all because of not being of pjo fandom standards…let’s go and bombard her with hate!!

Do you realise how fucking stupid…this all sounds? Do you realise how low this is? Was bullying a child so fun? So trendy at the time?

Then came the victim blaming- I laugh everytime I remember people saying I must have done something really bad to get such harassment, that it’s all for attention. What kid wants to get hate everyday of their life for 2 whole fucking years? Tell me?

You know wanna know what I did wrong? Fight back, call the hate anons out for their bigotry. I was vocal about it, that’s what I did wrong right? Stand my ground? People said to ignore it and I did. But I still got bullied daily even if I didn’t respond. What was all this for?

I can imagine people asking why I didn’t simply leave the fandom? Why the fuck should I? I enjoy the stories, I enjoy the characters, they were my escape from real life struggles. It was the bullying I didn’t enjoy. Everyday I’d log on to enjoy posts and a few minutes later when the bigots found out I was active I was sent an anonymous threat.

Many of my oldest friends had to reduce the amount they interacted with me in fear of receiving harassment themselves. The extent of this is bigotry is beyond my understanding.

I did not deserve this much suffering AND ALL FOR WHAT? A STUPID LITTLE REASON THAT HAS BARELY ANY WEIGHT TO IT. Do people even realise the extent of what happened is beyond me. And Idc if I sound selfish, I want a fucking apology from all those bigots. I want compensation for the 2 and a half years of abuse I endured alone. I just want this bigotry to end, which surprise surprise! Still continues to happen.

Why do I bring this up now that it’s all over you ask? I’ve actually brought it up once before, but it was swept under the rug, (My deepest appreciation to the very few people who supported me when I first talked about it) I’m just finally being more vocal, because this has stuck with me. For all those 4 years this has stuck with me. It doesn’t mean if it’s over for now that all the trauma doesn’t linger. It still affects me to this day.

In fact I’m still being stalked by one of the people who sent me hate anons. One of the hate anons was revealed to be one of my bestest friends, they had admitted this to me and had the nerve to beg me to still remain friends. They were also the person who groomed me. They have left the fandom scene and I’ve rid of them from my life but they still continue to stalk me.

What do I get from ranting about all this? A bit of solace, a bit of weight off my shoulders. But nearly not enough for me to actually fucking heal. I also want people to realise how bigoted some are and how horrible the mentality of “fixed fandom standards/ideologies” is and that we as a fandom need to fucking change. Heck I know this issues in every fandom. But can we at least start with ours for a change for once?

Along side all of this there’s also a lot of racism and trans/homophobia that still actively prevails. Just look at what Leah went through when her casting was announced. Did she deserve all of that?? “Not my annabeth” do you realise how horrible that is to say to a CHILD? She is Annabeth whether you like it or not. And you are very welcome to leave if you wish to stick to your stupid racist nonsense.

I bet there are many others who have probably suffered the same may it not be for the same reasons, but everyone of them deserve their apologies and compensation as well.

Idc if I’ll get hate for this. I said what I said. I’m just so done.

[refried-ghost]

Head canons: Purple has a NEED to mean what he's saying. Like he is sarcastic and shit, that's a firm part of his playbook. What he can't do is misunderstandings. Like if he says something with two meaning and there was an alternative phrasing that wouldn't run into that problem he needs to use that one. It will eat him up inside it he doesn't. Unless he's actively fucking with people. Which he does. Cause he likes to watch people squirm. Like a dick. Unintentional inundados are his fucking arch nemesis. Intentional ones fun, cool 👍, alright.

Part of why he's straight forward with Zim, despite their active ruse. He's known Zim forever. He knows how he processes what he's saying. And he struggles not being blunt as a bat with him.

Actually writing this is gonna be a thing for the revisions. I know it gonna be a nightmare for my little peanut brain.

It's this thing that gnawed at him since he was brought into life. He obsessively expanded his vocab when he was young. And now just doesn't use it much.

Red had a stutter when he was little cause someone smashed all his teeth in after he said something dumb. And it really messed him up. Like really, really messed him up. How are you supposed to shine when you simply can't get the words out?

Which makes the stutter worse, which makes him feel worse, which causes a never ending cycle until he's the most invisible person in a room despite his height cause he despises attention and focus, despite it being the thing he craves the most. Dude got stealthy. And almost never spoke for a good few years.

Purple didn't like him for it. He really didn't like Purple for basically having the personality he wanted. Red was little passive aggressive bitch about it.

I'll add a couple for Skoodge too. He's the oldest out of the six. Not by much but he is. Zee's a close second, but they wouldn't know that since their groups were in different sectors of the smeetry. Zim and Tenn were the youngest. (Tenn may or may not have been stuck in her chute room for a few days because of the blackout. Without any food or water, which wouldn't have been a problem if she wasn't a smeet.)

He's gotta believe in something ya know or maybe a someone. He a loyal puppy seeking love and attention and will brutally maul anyone sneaking in the windows without a second thought. Or realize that guy you had him maul was the one guy that gave him pets on the way to work everyday after he's thrown out on the streets. Then there are second thoughts.

No point in questioning you actions until you get some consequences.

He's also crushed on basically everyone at one point. Literally just be nice to him and he's taken. Flummoxed. Flustered. And that's why Zim uses him as bait. To both discourage those thoughts and cause he's easy to use. Not that Zim's nice to him, but Zim's kinda soft spot for Skoodge. (which a few people clock and either try to force distance between them or- I've said too much) Not necessary crushwise(but sometimes) but he feels sorta responsible for Zim.

Zim headcanon: Zim is aroace, but doesn't know that really and has been dragged into some stuff he doesn't know how to feel about cause the attention and praise, but also gross stop yuck with all these feelings and stuff, but praise! The aro part is the thing that gets really snagged. He is deeply, deeply obsessed with the Tallest. To the same level Dib is about exposing him if not more so. No you know what? His like a good 3x more then Dib's. You could call it love, but it kinda not really. If he were given that sort of attention from the Tallest he would accept it with as much gusto as he could manage, but another part of him would writhe like a salted snail. Red kisses him? He'll sneak up on him later and kiss him back. And his insides would violently twist with the brightest smile one his face.

What breed this obsession? It was kinda always there, but it got waaaaaay worse after his head got stuck in the tear in reality and he relived a bunch of fake lives and was convinced he died. It also worsened when they were coronated, like he always wanted to be the Tallest, but now they were, and it's not like he could kill them after he got taller, Red and Purple were his best friends before they realized what was going on, besides all Irken's were supposed to love the tallest and he never had before so this would make him less of a defect, plus you know the Spork thing making them afraid/think lower of him which is absolutely unacceptable in every form and fashion and MUST be correct.

But he's also a tired little dude that need a hug and has been running on fumes for decades.

He wants them as both parents and brothers but is deeply bothered by them giving a more romantic kind of intimacy to anyone else, but him, because that must mean they like them more and he will fucking combusted from it. Super un-fucking-healthy. But fun. Woo.

Red and Purple have fucked. They aren't brothers, despite the warped picture Zim's created in his head. And Zim is aware of this fact and chooses to ignore it.

[nounpolycule]

This thing for me is fine hate Rose people are entitled to their own opinion, but Dan is the hill to die on?? Dan is peak character writing and representation?? Dan??

Also, the "try liking a character that gets actual sexism and racism on the daily" is getting to me. What does that even mean?? This is talking about working class characters? The way they said it implies that Dan goes through racism and sexism everyday? Dan??

Yeah, honestly I couldn't give two shits about people hating Rose? People have been talking about how Rose is boring and a bitch and too stupid and so on for longer than I've known the show existed (a bit over a decade at this point), and they'll be saying the same shit until the end of the fandom's existence. I take issue, however, with acting like everyone who disagrees with you about a dumb (affectionate) little sci-fi show is stupid, especially when you're actively insulting them.

And yeah, there's like a lot to be said on the concept of "representation" in general. Other people have articulated this better than I ever will. If you focus too hard on a character being "representation", somewhere along the way, you lose the "character" part. Not every character that fits the same demographic(s) as you is going to feel like they match your experiences 100%, and they shouldn't! If no one person's experiences are universal, how can we expect a character to portray universal experiences without losing that piece that makes them feel more like a character than a plot device being used for diversity points? It's good to have diverse characters! I'm not joking when I say Jack Harkness was a stepping stone in realizing I'm a lesbian - would it have taken me less time to realize if I'd had Bill to look up to when I was 13? Would I have felt comfortable with myself at a younger age if I'd seen a lesbian character on my favorite show? I can only hope that that's what happened for people younger than me! But, at least to me, you lose something when you focus on "good representation" over diverse good characters.

The thing about looking at Rose through the lens of representation is that... that's not what she was designed to be? Her experiences inform her character, but her story isn't about that background. Sure, call her bad representation. She was never intended to be representation. It's not a fucking gotcha. She's a character first.

And with Dan... I can't see him as serious commentary. His house gets shrunk as a joke. His house stays shrunk as a joke. We do not see the ramifications of him losing his house, I don't really see that as commentary on poverty or homelessness when we don't actually see what happens to him afterwards. I won't tell anyone they can't see themselves in his character or situation, but to say that everyone should universally agree that he's more relatable is literally bringing us back to square one of "this character resonates more with me and therefore they are better universal representation and if you disagree you're just a basic bitch that needs to grow up." It's not productive. Besides, isn't the point of representation supposed to be that the more a particular marginalized experience is portrayed, the more likely it is that someone will find something that resonates with them?

And as for talking about Rose being a disservice to Dan... I haven't seen anyone comparing Dan and Rose aside from OP. I won't say it doesn't exist, clearly we do not run in the same circles, but it's not something I see at all. Though if we want to get down to it - yeah, I see my experiences (admittedly as an American) more in Rose than Dan. And that's okay. I'm a young adult who has barely left home whose experiences of being poor are colored by that - of course I'm going to see myself in the 19 year old still living with her mom than the 50-something year old who is living on his own. But that doesn't mean I can't respect people who feel differently.

As for "try liking a character that gets actual sexism and racism on the daily", I can only assume that they were talking about Yaz. But of course, as you said, the placement makes it sound like it's about Dan. It's a really weird place to start talking about Yaz, especially since they didn't actually mention her by name and she wasn't being discussed prior. And they did block my friend for pointing out that actually experiencing racism and such is worse than being a fan of a character that is treated that way by fans so... take that as you will.

Also no part of main tagging these posts (including one that begins "rose tyler is so fucking boring"), calling Rose fans "basic bitches" (again - whether or not you think calling Rose a bitch is misogynistic - calling real people, at least some of whom are women, bitches because they disagree with you is, in fact, misogynistic), and saying "#rose stans are so easy to wind up #just say you don't like her or she's bad rep #and they start crying and shitting themselves #it's so funny" reads as attempting to have a discussion about these characters in good faith. It's just so clearly deliberately trying to start shit. Like grow up, it's 2023, get a hobby less reminiscent of a middle school bully.

Also like. You didn't mention it at all but I will talk about Rose's ending (especially looking at Doomsday specifically) being 1. a punishment rather than a reward, and 2. really horrifying to me, actually (from a power imbalance perspective, not just a Rose fan perspective) until I'm blue in the face. And also I do find it funny that someone said that "Rose Tyler and Charlie Bucket are a fantasy, that if you work, behave and are good at heart, you will get the ultimate treasure in capitalist society, capital." Like first of all I know it was someone on the pro-Rose side that brought it up, but I don't think the Charlie comparison is worthwhile at all. Second of all, I love her but what part of Rose's story is her working and behaving and that's how she ends up rich? Babe didn't work for money (though she did work to be undercover for what, a week?) onscreen a single day after the Doctor blew up her job. Since when is Rose "jeopardy friendly" Tyler known for behaving? And if half of your point is that she's a bitch... well that kills "good at heart" a bit, doesn't it?

[misseviehyde]

BITCHY BODYSWAP

The psychologist had warned them not to wear each others clothes after the swap. He had told them to avoid even looking at themselves in their new bodies till a way could be found for the swap to be reversed.

"The more you see and visualise yourself in your new body, the more your mind will change and adapt. You must wear your old clothes and at all costs avoid ANY sexual activity. If the mental patterns lock, we may never be able to reverse the swap."

It was easier said than done.

The swap had been unexpected... a military experiment gone wrong at the nearby airbase, causing popular and pretty Rachel Grey and dorky Daniel Harland to somehow swap bodies.

The military were supporting each family and the rules were clear - but Daniel couldn't resist trying on some of Rachel's clothes. She was the most popular girl at school and owned so many pretty things. It seemed a shame not to try them on and experience how they felt.

He might never get a chance to wear her makeup, do her hair, feel her lingerie again. He loved how soft her body felt. He knew he wasn't supposed to, but he secretly spent hours staring into the mirror - gazing into those perfect brown eyes and touching himself.

Biting his plump pouty lips, he would stroke his pussy and fondle his breasts - crying out in Rachel's sexy voice as he orgasmed hard.

It felt so good to be rich, spoiled and popular. The attention was intoxicating. Everyone wanted to be his friend, everyone admired and desired him.

No one knew about the swap - the military wanted to keep it secret. It made it so easy to impersonate Rachel... to BE her in everyday life.

Meanwhile Rachel hated her new body - except for one thing. She couldn't stop masturbsting. It disgusted her to jerk off over girls, but her body seemed to only respond to female images and she needed the release so bad.

It was the only thing that could make her feel good now she was stuck as this loser. She knew she wasn't supposed to look - but she couldn't stop spending hours staring in the mirror and hating her new body.

Daniel's clothes felt more comfortable - she felt full of self loathing otherwise. The more she wore them, the more natural it seemed. She began to find other enjoyments... playing computer games, reading anime, going to the movies.

But still a swap back seemed possible. Then one day they bumped into each other...

They were both breaking the rules - they were both out in public pretending to be each other. Daniel was dressed in one of Rachel's most stunning blue dresses and heels.

Meanwhile Rachel was in a hoody and on her way to see a movie with one of Daniel's friends.

"What are you doing?" gasped Rachel in shock.

"Nevermind what I'M doing," laughed Daniel as he tossed back his perfect hair and walked intimidatingly close. "I can see you're adapting to being a nerd as much as I am loving becoming a bitch."

"What?" gasped Rachel.

"Haha - I gave up on that dumb pyschologist advice weeks ago. I've been trying to become more like you. I want this life and you're going to give it to me."

"N... no... that's my body," stammered Rachel.

"Not anymore," purred Daniel. "I'm Rachel now and you're Daniel."

Stepping close Rachel gasped as Daniel's manicured hands slid into his pants. "Noooo what are you doing?"

"Just giving you a helping hand. You know that when you cum, you'll forget all about the old you. Just let it happen... give up."

Rachel tried to hold on - she tried to remember who she really was - but it seemed crazy that she had ever really been this Goddess in a blue dress. As she cummed her pants she admitted to herself that she must be Daniel.

The new Rachel smiled as she saw the change in the dork before her. "Good boy. Now let's go tell the scientists that the swap seems to have naturally reversed and we are back to normal."

As they walked away together, both caught their reflections in a shop window. She was a Princess and he was a peasant.

Rachel giggled. "You must be crazy to think you were ever me..."

[lovesanmotion]

yandere!ateez reacts: s/o trying to run away

This is: requested | I was supposed to upload this last night but Chrome became a bitch and I lost all what I wrote in a span of minutes only. Hekhek, pain. 

Hongjoong: 

Hongjoong may not be as tall as Yunho and Mingi, nor as active, energetic and hyper as San and Wooyoung. But what he lacks, is what he makes up for. Hongjoong is a man of calculations, precision and skill. 

You listened to the sound of Hongjoong’s footsteps exit the house, hear his car engine roar and slowly hear the wheels fade into the road. While you had been tied on the bed, you were thankful for him for two reasons: One, he didn’t inject you any sleeping drugs. Second, leaving the cutter behind the lamp at the bedside table. You struggled to get your hands on the cutter, your finger dancing on top of the table until you reached for it. Finally, unbinding your wrists first before your ankles. And then, making your move. 

You first went down to the basement, knowing that there is a door that leads to his backyard. However, the doors were sealed shut and lock on the inside. The keys are always with Hongjoong. You went back up and noticed how the windows all had bars and the only free door for you to use is the front door. You slowly walked towards the front door and the blue skies and cold air greeted you. The sounds of birds chirping and the leaves rustling through the wind. 

“What a dumb kitten you are.” Hongjoong voice spoke, a visible irritated look on his face as he had his back leaning on the wall with his arms crossed over his chest. 

And you were so sure that you heard his car pull out the driveway. 

Seonghwa: 

Seonghwa’s calm and composed exterior contradicts his wild and aggressive exterior. One minute, he would be whispering you are his and his only. And the next minute he would stab the guy who tried to get your name and number at a coffee shop the other day. RIP to the guy, he was so young. 

And that’s what you fell in love with Seonghwa. He was so cool and calm in any situation that you felt like you were safe with him. Hehe, wrong. 

Grabbing a fistful of your hair, he yanked and dragged you down to the basement after you talked back at him. How you felt like shit instead of being comfortable around him. And it was only natural for Seonghwa to raise his hand at you and swung it across your face and give you punishment. 

Cuffing your ankles through a post. He raises his hand and gripped its hold on your under your chin. 

“Don’t be stupid and wait for me here, alright?” He leaned into place a kiss on your cheek despite your protest in leaning away. 

You watched as he ascends up the stairs, leaving you all alone in the basement. Looking around, there wasn’t a lot in his basement. It was just you and a couple of items that are tucked under a white blanket. You bend down forward and forcefully remove your feet off the cuff, grunting in the process. Once you were free, you ran up the stairs and went to the living room. 

But you heard someone knocking frantically on the front door. Cautiously and curiously you approached the door and slowly opened it. In front of you, an elderly woman appeared. 

“Mr. Park, I’m truly sorry, but have you seen my- who are you?” The elderly woman asked, her brows furrowing in confusion upon seeing your dishelved state. 

“Please, please, I will explain everything to you but you have to help me! Please!” You begged the woman. The elderly woman nodded her head but as she turned around, she was met with a knife piercing through her stomach. You watch in terror as Seonghwa lets out a soft sigh as he pulls the knife out before continously stabbing the elderly woman before shoving her lifeless, bloody body on the floor. 

“I mean how you can be more stupid?” 

Yunho: 

Yunho isn’t anything like Hongjoong and Seonghwa. In fact, you didn’t know how Yunho’s mind works. But one thing is for sure, he didn’t think much like a normal human. But, everyone in town loves him! He plays with kids in the park, helping out the elderly in crossing the street or carrying their groceries, he even gives food to the homeless. 

Dating Yunho felt like heaven. You loved watching him help the people and he always stuck close to you like a puppy. However, you felt like you were being suffocated in the relationship as the months go by. You tried to tell Yunho to be less clingy towards you. And he didn’t took what you said the right way. 

You woke up cold and shivering. The place was dark and you were barely able to move your body as it felt sore and aching all over. You then noticed a foul odor besides you, turning your head, you let out a scream afterwards. It was the dead, rotting body of the guy who you immediately realized as the guy who catcalled you in your campus. 

You didn’t know how and why but you struggled to getting your limp body up and crawling out of the room. Extending your hand out and then opening the door, you noticed how the house was quiet. The only thing you could hear was your ragged breath and your body sliding on the wooden floor. You plucked up your courage and dragged your body through the front door, as it was the closest to you. 

You were so close to the front door when all of a sudden Yunho came from upstairs, jogging down the stairs as he saw your body before yanking your ankle and then dragging you back. 

“Hey Officer Song! It’s me Yunho! Sorry about the screaming, its my girlfriend and she just saw a rat in the living room. What’s that? Really? That’s great! I’ll get back to you. Nice talking to you officer!��� 

Yeosang: 

Unlike Yunho, Yeosang is a combination of both Hongjoong and Seonghwa. He learned the art of skill and mastery of calculations from Hongjoong and the art of calm and composure from Seonghwa. 

You and Yeosang go to the same prestigious university in Seoul. Even taking the same course (Web Design). And you weren’t sure how Yeosang had a crush on you since there’s still a hundred of people of people under your course. Yeosang was a shy and cute boy yet smart. That’s what everyone mostly knew him of. 

And it slowly started out with him buying you coffee, doodling on your textbooks with his little creation called Hehetmon and going on study dates at the library or the coffee shop inside your campus. And one day, you gave your sweet yes to Yeosang’s proposal of being his girlfriend. 

It was supposed to be that way but Yeosang one time caught you talking to a guy. He didn’t like how close you are with the guy and how you were laughing with him. He made a note to himself on finding out who is the guy you were talking to. But to you, the guy you were talking to was just your partner for an upcoming requirement. 

That night, Yeosang silently entered your home. He lets out a soft gasp as he takes in your almost naked state in bed before leaning in to smell your scent. He dips down as he starts to bind your wrists together first. Much to his dismay, you woke up. 

“Yeosang? What are you doing?” You asked, looking at how he binded your wrists and ankles. Writhing underneath him. 

“Stop moving around, bitch. You’re making things worse for me.” You have never heard him cuss but that was a first. He placed a tape on your lips to muffle your sounds, pulling out a syringe and then injecting it on your thigh. Slowly you felt drowsy before darkness consumed you. 

Hours later, you awake with a sore feeling on your lower back and upper arms. Blinking your eyes, you realized that you were binded on the chair, in front a table and Yeosang sitting on the opposite of you. 

“What did I ever do to you?” You spoke groggily to him, blinking more. “I hate you. I want to break up with you.” But Yeosang lets out a sadistic laugh. 

“Breaking up with me? Why, were in this together. Remember? Why should I let you go when I finally have you with me? Soon, you’ll realize that you are mine and you won’t need anyone else. Just like Wonho.” 

Your blood ran cold. Wonho. The guy you were working in a requirement. 

“What did you do to him?” You asked. But Yeosang only smiled sweetly at you. “Wonho? Um, well, let’s say that I worked everything out for you and you’ll be getting the perfect grade. Wonho? Hm, let’s just say that he magically disappeared.” He stood up and placed a recorder in the middle of the table. Playing the recorder as he left the room. 

“YN~ Yeosang loves you! Let’s stay together forever, alright? I love you.” Was what Yeosang said in the recorded and oh god was it on loop. 

Needless to say, you didn’t get to sleep afterwards. And maybe, just maybe, staying with Yeosang is a good idea. 

San: 

Very much like Seonghwa. But worst.  

San is a sweetheart. There’s no denying that. And you were very oblivious to the fact that he has a crush on you. You’ve always mistaken his flirtiness with kindness that you would make his pick up lines as your jokes. Of course to San it hurts, but seeing you happy is what matters. 

Everyday, San lived with the guilt of not being his and yours. He feared everyone would take you from him and it kept him on edge for most of the day. It drove him mad until he could no longer take it. He decided to kidnap you and take you to his home. 

And now here you are, on the run, you managed to successfully escape his home and now you needed a ride to take you back to the city. From what you have learned, you were in Namhae, and it approximately takes you 3 hours to get back to Seoul. You were in the brink of walking back to the city when a car pulled up in front of you. 

“I’m sorry. I can assure you that I am no creep but do you need a ride? I was just driving to visit my parents in Incheon.” Finally. Incheon was a bit close to Seoul, and you decided to take up on his offer. Climbing inside his car. But as he was about the reverse, a bullet pierced through the windows of his car. Hitting him square in the head. 

“If you wanted to go to Incheon, why didn’t you just tell me, baby?”

Mingi: 

Mingi loves to shoot range. It’s his past time and hobby. It all started when his father first time brought him to a shooting range in the province in his pubescent teen days. “One day, this will become useful.” was what his father told him. 

Despite Mingi’s tall and muscular physique is a child that still lives inside him. Sometimes it comes out, him being clumsy, active and playful. But there are moments wherein he can become mature. 

Mingi knew you love him dearly. But these days, he wasn’t sure if that was still the case. His insecurity grew day by day until he eventually ended up like San: living with the fear of you possibly leaving him one day. 

On the other hand, you were slowly falling out of love with him. And you found yourself in the presence of someone new. One Friday night, you had lied to Mingi on the phone how you were heading home when in fact, you were taking a cab somewhere else with your new guy. After hanging on the phone, it took you both a few minutes before finally a cab pulled up in front of you. 

The driver got out and moved in front of you. Was that Mingi? No. You were so sure that it wasn’t him. You turned around and found him aiming gun point at your new guy before blasting his brains out. 100 points to Mingi for bloodshed. 

“So, this is the guy you were leaving me for?”  

Wooyoung: 

“IF YOU LOOK BACK, YOU’RE MINE” 

You remove one of your earphones and looked back at Wooyoung. “What did you say?” but you watched as he jumped out in joy at the open space. Wierd. 

Wooyoung is a reallyyyyy clingy boy. And boy did he love to pester you about your boyfriend. You found it weird, why would he always ask for details about your boyfriend? Everytime you asked him why, he would just shrug. And of course you never gave him the details that you wanted. That’s just weird. 

Your boyfriend meant everything to you. And recently, he was so happy talking to you about how he made a new friend. You were really happy how he was so happy that he made a friend that you told him to invite him to dinner one night. 

And that night finally came. You were in the kitchen while cooking and any minute the guest would arrive. You felt a pair of strong arms wrap around your wasit. You leant your back on his chest, submitting to his touch. 

“If you look back, you’re mine.” You let out a soft gasp and then you turned out. Coming face to face with Wooyoung before blacking out. 

Jongho: 

Jongho was someone is very different from your boyfriend. Jongho was soft and understanding and always was willing to listen to your rants about your everyday life. Whereas your boyfriend kept you under his toxic behavior or leaving you and then showing up a few days. Always partying and hooking up with random girls. 

You oftenly wonder why you could never get away from your boyfriend. You mind kept telling you to leave all the toxicity behind, but your heart says to endure the pain as he told you that he is willing to change for you. And he mentioned that a year ago and there was still no new change. 

It was just you and Jongho inside a coffee shop, sitting near the window where you would tell him about your day and what were the things you did. And seeing Jongho being immersed with what you have to say made you so happy. Although your momentarily happiness was cut short when your toxic boyfriend came in and told you to come with him. 

You wanted to stay with Jongho but you found yourself going with your boyfriend. And Jongho was not okay with that. 

He followed you and your boyfriend through the dark alley. There wasn’t a lot of people in the area and Jongho took this for his advantage. 

“Jongho?” He came up both from behind. Laying a hand on his shoulder before tackling him on the ground, beating your boyfriend up like a pulp. 

“Jongho! Stop it! Stop it!” You pleaded, pushing him away by his shoulder. When he stood up, you looked at the bloodied face of your boyfriend who looked like he was half dead. 

“Were you really going to leave me there for this guy, Y/N?” Jongho’s question and uneasy calm voice shook you. 

“You couldn’t leave him because the sex is great, isn’t it? I know you. That’s why you can’t leave him. And there’s a part of you that’s still holding onto him. What about me? Don’t you think I deserve a chance as I’m the one who’s with you all this time?” 

The guilt kicked in and Jongho’s words started to brim tears in your eyes. You were unsure, that’s true. However- 

“If you leave me one more time, I will not hesitate to do the same thing to your parents. They’re old, right? It would make beating and killing them easier.” 

[hoe4almondmilk]

Safety Net: Chapter 2

Present! Carol Denning/Reader 

It’s been three days since you’ve been at max and it’s been honestly quite awful. You stared at the tray of food in front of you poking at it with your fork instead of eating it, you weren’t hungry and you were restless from not being able to sleep. Who could even sleep here? The lights are on constantly.

“Making art, (L/N)?” you looked up to see who the familiar voice belonged to, it was Piper with her fiancée Alex. Piper was starting to become a little more tolerable now that she was reunited with Alex. You were happy for them and honestly glad to have them here with you even if you were never particularly close with either of them during your time up at camp. 

“I don’t know if I’d call it art but it’s something.” you chuckled, continuing picking at the food. “I miss camp, I feel like I'm always on edge here.” 

“I definitely agree with that, sleeping with this fuckin broken arm hasn’t been pleasant.” Alex replied as she began eating her food. God, you almost felt nauseous watching someone eat. Food disgusted you right now. “You’re not pulling a Sister Ingalls are you?” Alex asked half jokingly but also sounding a little concerned.

“No, I just haven’t had much of an appetite lately, I feel sick looking at food, it’s probably just my anxiety. Also the food here looks repulsive..” you sighed. 

“I don’t blame you, I would feel anxious too if I was sharing a bunk with the head of C-Block.” said Piper.

You turned your head to the left over where Carol was, she was playing cards surrounded by her posse. You and Carol haven’t really spoken much or been around each other since she basically scared you off the other day. It was kind of an unspoken rule, if Carol was in the room you stayed out of her way and hung around somewhere else until she came out which was pretty often since she was mostly out here playing cards. You were so deep in thought you forgot you were still looking in carol’s direction when you snapped back to reality you saw her staring straight at you with an emotionless expression, you quickly looked away. 

“She’s actually not that bad, I mean besides telling me to get the fuck out the other day. She’s quiet and clean. except for when she’s looking at those magazines of men, that’s when it gets a little uncomfortable. I feel more sorry for you being bunkmates with Badison, Chapman.” you chuckled as Piper’s eyes rolled hearing her roomie’s name. 

“Oh please don’t get her started, it will never end.” Alex groaned, rubbing her temple with her functioning hand. 

“She’s giving you trouble?” You asked, actually concerned. 

“Trouble doesn’t even begin to describe it. She’s a bully!” Piper exclaimed. “There is something deeply wrong with her.” Piper was normally a pretty dramatic person but you knew she wasn’t exaggerating when she was talking about Badison. You’ve only known Badison for a few days but there really was something wrong with her. 

“I think there’s something deeply wrong with everyone here.” Alex replied. “They’re in maximum security for a reason.” 

“I wonder what Carol did.” You said thinking out loud. “Everyone obeys her, shit even Badison is scared of her.”

“All I know is that one of her girls, Creech, is my bunkmate and I want no trouble.” Alex said, continuing to eat her food. 

“Aw, look at that, all of the new cookies eatin’ together. What is this a fuckin pride parade?” you recognized that god awful bostonian accent, it was Badison as she began to sit down at your table. 

“Well you know what they say about us gays, we hang out in flocks.” Alex replied sarcastically. You couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle.

“I would’ve never guessed you were a carpet muncher, Mouse. I guess you learn something new everyday.” said Badison. “I better be careful, don’t want you developing a crush on me or anything.” 

“I’m picky with my women, you have nothing to worry about.” Your eyes widened realizing you said that out loud. It would’ve been an awkward silence if it wasn’t for Alex’s small chuckles.

“Oh you’re a funny little thing, now aren't you?” Badison replied, still shocked by what you just said.

“I meant that I'm not really interested in dating while i’m in prison, you know?” you said trying to cover your ass for what you just said. 

“I got what you meant.” Badison said slowly coming closer to you. “You should really be more careful with who you smart off too though. Don’t wanna start off on the wrong foot with anyone here. Remember what I said on your first day. We can make you want to live or die.” Badison whispered and walked her way over towards Carol.

“I’m so fucked.” You said worryingly.

“Badison’s not gonna do shit, she just wants to scare you two.” Alex said, trying to comfort you. 

You nodded. You looked over your shoulder once more to see Badison next to Carol as she played a card game with the other girls. You couldn’t help but feel a small pit of worry in your stomach. 

Later that evening a few hours before lights out, you decided to go take a shower, something you had been avoiding for the past few days. It’s not that you were unhygienic, it's just you had been slightly depressed from the big transition of moving from up the hill to down the hill. 

You took a quick look around the shower room, thank god it was empty. Empty showers were a rarity in any prison. 

It was when you were washing your hair that you heard a couple of footsteps walking in. Well, that was a nice five minutes of peace and quiet. You ignored it and continued to rinse the shampoo out of your hair. Suddenly, you felt an arm wrap around your chest and something pointy and sharp being pressed against your right jugular. 

“If you scream, I swear to god I will push this into your neck. You got that?” You nodded trying to hold back your tears. The arms around you flip you over and you’re faced to see two of Badison’s friends Eckelcamp and Teng. 

“What did I do?” you asked quietly and shakily, almost choking trying to hold back your tears. You’ve mostly kept to yourself this whole time here, actively trying to avoid any trouble, you certainly don’t remember doing anything to these two. This is the first time you’ve even spoken to them.

“You disrespected Badison, bitch.” Eckelcamp said, still extremely close to your face. She wrapped her hand around your neck tightly with the shiv still firmly pressed against your neck. You were barely able to breathe. “Next time Badison talks to you, have some fucking manners.” she said slamming your back hard against the shower wall. You did your best to hold back a yelp. Getting stabbed in the neck with a dirty shiv was not the move for today.

“Next time you see her, apologize.” said Teng, “We’ll be watching. Let’s get out of here before a CO comes.” 

Eckelcamp nodded in agreement and looked at you once more and yanked your hair pulling you down to the hard wet tile of the bathroom and left. 

You waited till you heard their footsteps disappear to crawl into a ball and sob under the now cold running water of the shower. So this is what Badison meant when she said live or die. Your hands gently rubbed your possibly bruised neck. You finished your shower and got dressed before anyone walked in and saw you like this. 

Once you returned to the common room, your eyes scanned the room for Badison. You looked over at Carol’s table, her usual spot but she was absent. You met eyes with Eckelcamp and Teng. Ignoring them you made your way to Badison and Piper’s cell. You really hated the fact that you were being practically forced to apologize to her but this bitch was not worth a stab in the neck with a dirty shiv. 

Once you got to the cell you saw Badison laying on her bunk and Piper in hers reading a book. You lightly knocked on the open door. 

“Hey, (L/N).” Piper said smiling but her smile quickly faded almost as if she could sense something not right with you.

“Hey, Chapman.” you smiled trying to not seem suspicious, as much as you liked Piper she had a tendency to involve herself in situations that she didn’t belong in. 

“The fuck do you want, Mouse?” Badison asked sarcastically as she laid up from her bunk. She knew exactly what the fuck you wanted. 

“I was wondering if I could have a word with you.” You asked. “Out here. In Private.”

“Whatever you need to say you can say it here with me and Gapman.”

“Please, Badison.” You were trying to hide the impatience in your voice. Piper was already looking at you suspiciously. 

“Only because you said please.” Badison said she climbed down her bunk making her way out the bunk. 

You walked over under the stairs. “I wanted to formally apologize to you for disrespecting you.” You said trying to sound sincere.

“I see you met Eckelcamp and Teng.” She chuckled looking at your neck. “Oh, those are gonna be some ugly bruises tomorrow.” 

“It’s not like I have anyone to look beautiful for here.” you said rubbing your neck.

“Aw, you don’t wanna look pretty for your lesbo girlfriends.” Badison said, as she made a pouty face.

“You mean Chapman and Vause? Just because we’re gay doesn’t mean we’re dating eachother.” You were actually confused. Was she actually that dumb?

“What?” She looked visibly confused. “Anyway, That was a shitty apology.”

“What do you want from me, Badison?” You said already fed up.

“I don’t like you. I can look past that though if you fill up my commissary for the next two weeks. Don’t be stingy with me, (L/N). I know you got plenty of money.” She said with that sleazy fucking smile.

“Fine, deal.” You really didn’t want to do this but you also didn’t want anymore trouble with Badison or the rest of Carol’s gang.

“I accept your apology.” Badison said.

As you were about to turn around to leave you felt Badison’s foot slide under yours causing you to trip and fall hard on the ground. You heard Badison let out a loud laugh. You could feel your eyes well up with tears again and this time you didn’t even bother to stop them from flowing. Let them see you cry, you didn’t care anymore. 

“Oops.” Badison said as she continued to laugh.

“(L/N), are you okay?” You heard Piper's voice as she tried to help you up. You must have hit the floor hard enough if Piper heard you fall from her cell.

“I’m fine, Chapman. Just go, don’t make this worse for the both of us.” You snapped as you stood up from the ground. You wanted to yelp from the shock of pain that shot through your body. 

You looked over to see everyone at Carol’s table laughing, except for Carol. Your red puffy tear filled eyes locked with hers for a second. You looked away embarrassed. You hurried as fast as you could up the stairs to your cell. You wanted to lay down and hope you woke up from this fucking nightmare.

As soon as you reached your cell you climbed to the top bunk and crawled up into a small ball and just sobbed. You hated being seen as weak here. You didn’t like giving these people that power over you but you couldn’t help it. You were so wrong on your first day, you were finally beginning to crack. You weren’t sure how long you were crying but your sobs finally turned to small sniffles. 

“You new cookies really do crumble quickly.” You heard that stern cold voice say. You lifted your head up to meet eyes with Carol. This is the second time she’s ever actually spoken to you. You quickly wiped your tears away. “Are you gonna say something or are you just gonna keep looking at me all pitiful?” Carol said as she leaned against the wall of the cell with her arms crossed. 

“I don’t really have anything to say.” You continued to sniffle. “At least not without having to worry about getting shanked in the shower.” 

“Oh, so that explains your neck.” Carol chuckled.

Damn was it really that noticeable already?

“I thought you would’ve known, your girls are the ones who did it.” You replied with a slight attitude putting your head back down. 

“Whatever Badison has the other girls do has nothing to do with me.” Carol replied. 

“I’ve been here for three days and you’ve never bothered to speak to me. Why the sudden change?” You asked. 

“Am I bothering you?” Carol replied almost as if she was slightly offended.

“No, you’re not. Sorry, that sounded a lot ruder than it did in my head.” You rubbed your eyes, Please don’t beat my ass. You prayed. You had enough ass beatings for the rest of your sentence.

“I’m talking to you because I believe you have potential, (L/N).”  Carol said with a slight smirk.

“Potential?” You asked, confused. What the hell does she mean by that?

“I want you to work for me. I can tell you’re smarter than most of these other girls here. It also makes sense considering the fact that we are sharing a cell together.” Carol said. She did have a point. Carol was not someone to be enemies with. 

“I mean I guess. Look Carol, I’m just trying to keep my nose clean, do my time and-“

“And what? Avoid getting in any trouble? What happens if you get into another disagreement with another inmate and she starts a fight with you? You’re gonna get fed up with being someone’s punching bag and you’ll fight back. The COs aren’t going to see it as self defense. They’ll happily throw you into the SHU and add more time onto your sentence. Stick by me and I’ll make sure Badison or any other girls never lay a finger on you.” Carol did make a good point. “See me as a type of safety net, if you will.”

“Can you give me time to think about it?” You asked not sure if you would be able to do it.

“The offer is off the table then. Continue getting your ass beat. It’s not hurting me.” Carol said, trying to hide her annoyance. 

You sat and thought about it for a minute. You knew you weren’t going to be able to just continue getting beat on. You were going to break at some point. You looked up at Carol and took a deep breath in. 

“Okay, I’ll do it.” You had three years left on your sentence, that’s not a lot of time, you could do this. 

“Shake on it.” Carol said coming up to you with her hand out. 

You looked at her, a small smile forming at the corners of your lips. “Okay, boss.” You said as you shook her hand.

“Sit down here kid, I’m gonna show you how to play Bridge.” Carol said sitting on her bed as she began to shuffle a deck of cards.

“Bridge? Is that the game you’re always playing?” you asked as you slowly began to crawl off the top bed. Trying to ignore the pain in your sore arms and legs.

“Yep, It’s best I teach you now, you’re going to be playing a lot of it.” Carol said, laying out the cards in front of you as you sat down. “Shall we begin?” 

What the hell am I getting myself into. You thought to yourself as you watched Carol explain bridge to you.

Chapter 3 here

[dramaqueeenamby]

WAP • Steve R. & Thor O.

A/N: Smut. No plot at all. Just smut. THIS IS A ONESHOT. 

Warnings: SMUT. 18+. Threesome. Double penetration. Oral (male and female both receiving and giving). Cum kink?. Light choking. Very light dom theme.

Words: 3.4K 

-------

You wanted to fuck Steve.

But you also wanted to fuck Thor.

It was a problem, a persistent desire that lapped at you even while doing the most mundane tasks such as sitting in on a teleconference meeting with either of them. They spoke politics. You thought dirty.

It was the textbook definition of unprofessional, but damnit, you wanted what you wanted, and you wanted them both.

Separately, of course.

Or maybe at the same time.

The thought sent chills up your spine and throughout your core.

The infatuation began the first day you accepted the job as Stark’s assistant. And that was another thing, your desire initially geared toward Tony. Maybe it was the wife and kid that obliterated the flame. You couldn’t do that to a family man no matter how badly you wanted to literally do the family man.

Some things, some people, were just off limits.

Stark was one of them.

And so, you’d accepted your position as his assistant and became okay with the fact that it was the only position the retired playboy could put you in.

Perhaps that was what did it. You’d never liked not having someone to play with.

And here walked in Stars and Stripes, himself. For a fossil, he played the role of everyday Jake quite well.

There were tiny telltale signs, however, that he was truly the right man living in the wrong time.

For one, his damn wardrobe. Slacks and a button up shirt. That was all you ever saw him in. Goddamnit, the man was in desperate need of some jeans or even better—gray sweats.

And his hair, it was always slicked back. You could always imagine him standing in the mirror of his one-bedroom apartment, making sure it looked presentable.

No one gave a damn about that anymore.

You just wanted to reach up and mess it for him half the time or grab onto it as he ate you out from off the copy machine, but you digressed.

And his speech, so proper, so focused on the semantics. Two things he never did: contractions, profanity, and you.

Okay, so that was three, but your prayer was to get it to two!

Or was it to nail two of them?

That brought you to Thor.

That smug, son of a bitch.

You wanted to slap that smirk off his face at least once a day and smother his face at least once every half hour. A good balance, if you could say so yourself.

You knew his dick was big. You just knew it. So was Steve. It’s just you weren’t sure if Born In the USA remembered how to use it. That wasn’t a concern with Thor. You saw how he eyed some of the interns and trainees. Hell, even Natasha before she promptly put him in his place.

That selfish bitch.

You’d give anything to have him put you in your place.

Right on top of his dick.

And it wasn’t like you were enduring a dick famine. You had several men on rotation, but they were all so boring. There was no spark there, anymore. Half the time, you had to do all of the work anyhow, and that just simply wasn’t fair.

You deserved better.

You deserved the Dream Dick Team.

“Scan these in for me.” Stark dropped a stack of paperwork onto your desk with his left hand while reading over another massive pile in his right. “Thanks, kid.”

You reached over, grabbing it already knowing that I had to be separated and sorted as well. Stark’s method of organization didn’t exactly correspond with the systems that the company used, but it did help to eat up time, so there was that.

“I do have a name, you know.”

“I know. It’s kid.” He called out, disappearing down the hall, oblivious to the middle finger you flashed his way.

“I saw that.”

Or maybe not.

“Sorry, boss.”

You didn’t actually mean it. One of the benefits of working for Stark, sans the much-needed medical coverage, was that the line between professionalism and unprofessionalism was pretty damn blurred. And no one smudged that line more than Stark. He was a fun boss, which made you inclined to believe he was equally as fun in the sheets, not that you would ever get to find out.

Your huff was laced with disappointment and frustration.

All of the good ones really were taken. Or too damn polite to choke you and spit in your mouth. Or from another fucking planet with an abundance of readily available alien pussy.

A tiny gasp emitted as you shuffled through the paperwork. What if they had multiple genitalia or some shit? The thought nearly brought tears to your eyes. Double penetration. Double the pleasure. Double the fun. And fuck forever—ever ever.

This was so damn cruel. The universe clearly didn’t want to see you and your four holes happy, and you were sick and tired of the ardent disrespect.

“Greetings, Y/N.”

Goddamn that fucking greeting bullshit. Unless it was a greeting between your mouth and his dick, you didn’t want to hear it.

“Captain. Thor.” You nodded to each of them, respectively, fully aware of the discomfort that stemmed from Steve.

“I’ve told you, Y/N. Steve is just fine.”

“How about daddy?”

Okay. So, a couple of things could happen in that moment. You could slide back in your chair with wheels and knock your head into the desk until you were unconscious. You could roll back in that chair with wheels, and sprint like you stole something. Or, you could play dumb and pretend what you just said wasn’t really what you just said.

All seemed viable options, really, and you were leaning more toward the sprinting.

But then something happened, something completely horrible and disgusting and despicable and just vile.

He laughed.

The motherfucker laughed.

You.....what?

And then, he made it even worse.

“Sure, why not.”

You pushed your braids behind your ears. Maybe your hearing was off. Yeah, that was it. You were way overdo for an appointment with the ENT doctor, anyway.

“Excuse me?”

This time, Thor spoke. “He’s been waiting some time, Lady Y/N. For you to say that. We both have.”

Your eyes darted from side to side. “What?”

Steve stuffed his hands in his slacks and shrugged. “It’s true, but we knew you’d finally say something when you were ready.”

“Say what?”

Steve spoke so plainly, so calmly, so unlike everything that you were currently feeling. “That you want us to fuck you.”

Sweet, Black Baby Jesus. It’d finally happened. The world had gone to hell in a handbasket.

That was literally the only explanation for not only what was just said, but for what followed what was just said.

“So, come on.”

You struggled but managed a response. “C-come where.”

“Hmm. Preferably, all over that pretty face of yours.”

“Or the pretty lips.”

But, for now, with us.”

You know those moments where all you can do is say what in the actual fuck is life? Well, that statement was made for moments like this. Kelly Clarkson was definitely onto something.

“Y/N.” You jumped in your seat when you realized that he was merely inches away from your face, fists into the desk. “We won’t ask again.”

The sensible thing to do was to continue to probe to figure out just what level of hell this was. Dante should have showed up at any minute. But what did your dumbass do? You slid back in your chair with wheels, stood, and allowed the two men you considered bosses to lead you down the hall, into the elevator, and into the same conference room where you often patiently sat and waited to the side for Stark to finish.

And unfortunately, it was never on you.

Except, this time, you weren’t in the corner, you were on the table, courtesy of Thor picking you up and placing you down as if you were a lightweight.

He stepped back and stood beside Steve while you just looked like any meme from the mid to late 2000’s, still 100% confused as to what in Beyonce’s name was going on.

“Where do we start with you?” Steve spoke to himself, or maybe Thor too, your brain was too foggy to pay too much attention to where or who his words were directed.

“Take your clothes off. Everything.”

Like the dumbass bitch you are, you looked from side to side and pointed to yourself. “Me?”

Wrong move, Dory.

With inhuman speed, Thor stood in front of you, hand around your throat. His grip was loose but firm, so much so that your thighs pushed together. God, you wanted him to squeeze tighter.

“Now.”

And just like that, he was back next to Steve. You wasted no time in following orders this time around. You couldn’t unbutton your blouse fast enough, tossing it to the floor. Every other piece of clothing that covered your body followed suit until you were completely nude, back sitting on the table, legs pressed together.

Well, initially.

The silence was making you uncomfortable. You craved some type of communication. Contact would be even better. And the way they were just looking at you, it didn’t help.

Gradually, your legs parted, revealing your bare pussy. God, you were grateful you kept that wax appointment. It didn’t miss you how Thor’s brow quipped, and Steve’s jaw twitched.

A small smile played on your face as you innocently asked. “What?”

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t so innocent, but time was of the essence, and you needed your essence to be spilling from here to the 98th floor sooner rather than later.

“She mocks us.”

“It seems so.”

Holy fuck, this was getting to be fun. You’d hooked their attention, now you just had to reel it in. Your right hand seemed to sense the pending activities and wanted to get a jump. Slowly lifting from its firmly planted spot on the table, your hand moved to your full breast, down your stomach folds, over your fupa, and bow chika wow wow.

You chewed on your bottom lip when you felt your kitty. She was already leaking dew.

“Fuck yourself.”

Two words. One task. Mission: accepted.

You went to work, your three middle fingers working in perfect synchronization, tending to your sensitive and neglected bud. God, you’d masturbated in the shower just this morning, but this felt so different. Probably because of the two men who stood before you. Speaking of, you opened your eyes and grinned wryly at their reactions.

They were pissed, and that only caused a loud moan to leave your mouth as you slapped your own cunt, loving the sound it made because of the slickness.

“I’m so fucking wet.” You played around with your wetness, lifting your hand and sticking your fingers in your mouth, licking each digit one by one, dropping your hand to your breast and playing with your nipples. “Oh my fucking God.”

You were gradually making yourself a sticky mess, not to mention, the mess you’d made all over the table, but you gave not a single fuck. The only fuck, fucks, you gave were about the two men who stood before you.

Returning your hand to your throbbing pussy, you laid back on the table so that you could reach deeper, plunging your fingers inside, milking yourself. Every so often, you’d remove your fingers and spread your juice all over your vaginal area. Call it a kink, but you loved the feeling of cum all over your body. Yours. His. Anyone’s. It was just a serious thrill for you.

“Fuck!” You shouted just as you started to feel the familiar intensity brewing in the pit of your stomach because your ankles were grabbed, harshly yanking you down off the table. Your feet never touched the ground, however, because you were laid on your stomach over the arms of a wheely chair.

Seconds later, your hips were lifted, your ass perked up in the air.

“I think she’s ready for us, don’t you, Thor?” You whined. You could feel Steve’s cool breath on your pussy. He had to be centimeters away from fulfilling ½ of your dream fucking, and yet was insisting on this tantalizing yet frustrating wait.

“Would you just eat my fucking pussy alr--” You shouted as he silenced your protest with obedience. Holy fucking hell, if you could, you would have screamed so loud that all of Manhattan could hear you. He lapped and sucked with an insatiable hunger, booty jerking around but only momentarily as he brought his hands to your hips to hold you still while he feasted.

You dropped your head only to have it yanked up by Thor grabbing a fistful of your braids and forcing you to look at him.

“Such a pretty mouth.” Your eyes almost bugged out of your fucking head when you saw his massive dick, hard and dripping with cum, just hanging in front of you. You were already salivating in anticipation when he used his thumb to part your full lips. “We shall see if you can use it to please your king.”

Without even so much as a warning, he forced your mouth open with his thick fingers and forced your jaw to its absolute max as he stuffed his even thicker dick in your mouth, You immediately felt him stabbing the back of your throat, and the sensation brought tears to your eyes and butterflies to your stomach.

He didn’t have you too shook though because you immediately went to slurping and deepthroating, bracing your elbows on the arms of the chair while holding onto his hips to stabilize you.

Thor’s head went to the top of your head, taking a fistful of your braids. You peaked up over your eyelids to see his head tilted back, eyes closed, mouth tensed. You were so proud of yourself that you took another inch, practically gagging as tears continued to spill from your eyes. The tears a combination of how stuffed you felt, orally, and from the oral pleasure America’s finest was causing down below.

God, who would have thought the fossil could eat pussy so well?

Thor had started face fucking you, the intensity of the thrusts of his hips into your mouth causing the chair to slide back and forth. Still, Steve’s mouth stayed attached to your pussy, and by now, your entire lower half was a stick hot mess.

And you fucking loved it.

It was enough to make you cum. Again, that was.

Even as Steve made you cum, Thor refused to allow you the room to breathe. This caused an intensity in your tears. It was so blissfully overwhelming. You hadn’t a clue what you’d done to deserve this, but goddamnit were you relieved.

Hell wasn’t so bad after all, and if Dante wanted to join in, the more, the merrier.

You moaned, mouthful of Thor, when Steve pulled out only for your ears and ass to perk up when you felt something thick and hot against your ass. “Such a sweet pussy.”

“Is she?”

“Absolutely,” Steve grunted, reaffirming his grasp on your hips. “Now to feel you around my dick.”

Impaled. Stuffed. Exploding. Those were all words that only halfheartedly described how you felt. You didn’t have to see Steve to know that he was big in girth and long in length, I.e. the perfect combination. He was so deep inside of you, hips repeatedly and firmly clashing into yours, driving his dick deeper and deeper into you.

By now, Thor had also freed your mouth and allowed your jaw a respite, but not before emptying all over your face. Your pussy clenched against Steve as you excitedly allowed your tongue to travel as much of your mouth as you could, sucking in Thor’s cum. It was simply majestic, as was he, as was this entire fucking, well, fucking.

Your moans and screams echoed and bounced off every wall, surely reverberating down the hall and across the various floors. You gave absolutely zero fucks. All of New York could hear you for all you cared.

Thor continued to jerk off in front of you, still very much hard even after splattering you with his cum.

What a God.

As expected, Steve made you cum several times, squirting the last time, the first time you’d ever done so. It was more than you could have ever asked for. And yet, it truly was the gift that kept on giving.

After completely filling you with him cum, Steve pulled out of you, making sure to use his fingers to smear the cum that leaked all over your pussy lips.

Seconds later, they switched, Thor was behind you, Steve in front of you. However, Thor quickly flipped you over so that you were on you back and stood between your spread and tacky thighs.

“Do you think you can take me, little one?” He asked mockingly, fingers playing with the cum on your stomach. You nodded furiously, only to feel your jaw grabbed and head craned back.

Steve’s bulbous head tapped against your lips. You opened eagerly, downing him at the same moment Thor slammed into you. If not for them steadying you, you would have jumped right off that chair. Steve was big, but Thor was massive and curved. A curved dick was your dream come true.

Actually, being dually fucked by a God and Captain America yourself was your dream, and now, a reality.

What an afterlife.

The both took you, front and back, roughly. You were being whisked back and forth like a rag doll, your titties flopping all over the place. Whiplash was most definitely a concern as well as the inability to walk tomorrow, or ever, but really, what a better way to be rendered incapacitated?

I mean, Steve was literally beating on the little dangly thang that swing in the back of your throat, and had you been able to look down, you could almost bet you could see Thor in your fucking stomach. He was just that deep.

This was the hill you would die on, and you couldn’t be happier.

Your face was damp from persistent tears and tacky from slowly drying cum, a layer of light sweat soaking you from head to toe, and you knew that your edges were shot, but none of that mattered, especially when Thor pulled out and started to eat you out, your thighs clamped around his head, trapping him. He could stay there forever. They both could.

Unfortunately, all god things must come to a respite, or whatever the fairy tales said.

After cumming at least 87.5 times, they both freed your beaten and thoroughly used mouth and vagina. There was so much cum, it was splattered all over your pelvis, dripping onto the floor. You’d never been so stuffed. Literally.

“Are you okay?”

Thor asked, or maybe Steve. You were too physically exhausted to pay that much attention, your eyes fluttering shut. “Fucking divine.”

“Excuse me?”

Your eyes shot open and you were met with puzzled expressions from both Thor and Steve.

You looked around, you were seated in your desk, hair still intact, fully clothed, edges still laid. You paused.

What the fuck?

“Are you sure you’re alright, darling?” Steve’s concerned voice broke your stunned trance. This....this couldn't be happening. No fucking way. You did not just dream all that. It wasn’t possible. It was too damn real.

And yet....

You felt at your face. It was moisturized, but with CeraVe. Not CeraCum.

“It was a fantasy....” You whispered to yourself, holding back tears. “None of it was real.”

“Would you like us to talk to Stark about allowing you to get off earlier?”

Your eyes widened. “But, I already did,” you all but whined.

Thor whispered to Steve. “Is this what you Midgardians call a psychotic break?”

This was cruel, beyond cruel, sinfully wicked. You had no words. Thor and Steve watched as you whined while gathering your shit. You didn't even bother clocking out or shutting off the computer. You just had to get out of there and fast.

You said not a word to either men as you stumped off completely done with the day, and, well, life. 

It wasn’t until you entered the elevator that both men chuckled.

“This is going to be fun.”

“No, she is.” 

Steve and Thor chuckled, anticipation for the next time already brewing. 

[marigoldsandbuttercups]

Hey your blog looks pretty good so far! Can we maybe get some general hcs on each guys personality?

Why thank you! I really appreciate that ❤❤

Personality Headcanons

Sans :

- Is more likely to sit back and observe rather than be actively involved in it.

- Is that one friend who randomly messages you once every 3 months with a meme.

- He's not very good with words, so he prefers to show he cares by doing things or spending time with people.

- Doesn't trust easily but is more willing to than some of the others.

- he's touch starved but it's not obvious, though you'll notice how his shoulders always brushing against yours.

- Seems like a social butterfly, isn't. If he's faced with new people, he can come off as a little aloof but break a joke in front of him and he'll begin to ease up.

- He's incredibly passive aggressive when he needs to be.

- He seems quiet, but he doesn't take shit. I feel like this becomes more apparent after he gets some therapy and learns to not beat himself up so much or allow people to step all over him.

Papyrus:

- He's painfully aware of how people see him and tends to use it to mess with them.

- His cooking has improved but sometimes, just sometimes he will serve them food that tastes odd to see if they're honest with him.

- He loves dancing! He has a radio in his kitchen and is always blasting pop music to dance to, often waking Sans up even though he's upstairs, it's effective!

- Papyrus can be very, very sarcastic. It's just the way he says it is so subtle you wouldn't even realize he's low-key shading you.

- Heard the term "Soft Boi", lives by it. Though he calls himself a Soft Cool Dude™.

- Is the most patient out of them all, Wine coming in a close second.

- He sometimes forgets that he's incredibly strong. Like sometimes he'll be walking down the street and hear a cat hiding under a car and.... He just lifts the car up like nothing-

- Speaking of this, although he forgets that one aspect, he remembers everything. You said you liked green mangos a few months ago on a whim? He's bringing you some from the market today cause he saw that they were on sale.

- It's hard for him to read the room sometimes, so he depends on seeing people's expressions to see what is going on.

- He uses internet lingo ironically, yes, he knows all of them and he low-key gets excited when someone is able to catch on to what he's doing.

Blue:

- Yes, he knows he looks cute, he knows he looks babey, stop shoving it in his face or he'll prove otherwise, Kelly.

- You thought Sans was passive aggressive, you thought wrong, meet Blue.

- Him and Edge like to team up and harass the Karen's at PTA meetings. It's a fun hobby.

- He loves to workout, but he also loves to pig out on junk food. You'll only find out if you're his best friend and he'll make you swear to secrecy.

- He loves makeup! He especially loves bright shades that make his eyelights pop.

- Blue isn't as trusting as he seems either. You have to remember, he is still a sans underneath that bold exterior. He knows who to trust and who to be wary of, those cute looks aren't there for nothing!

- The second flirtiest of the bunch, he knows how to charm people easily with just his words, it's just that sometimes he can't be taken seriously because of his height and it pisses him off to no end.

- He doesn't get attached easily, it takes a while for him to really think of you as someone who he will be there for everything and anything.

- He has no filter. He will absolutely tell it to your face like it is, why hide when you can just get it over with?

- He is someone who can dish it and can take it, he enjoys some good banter and teasing.

Stretch:

- An Ass. Sgshjssj okay but seriously he likes to use his magic abilities to mess with people, usually it's for little harmless pranks. Like when he formed ghouls with his magic and proceeded to "haunt" his brother the whole day.

- He can and absolutely will spam you with memes at random times, it's his hobby and that's your bonus as a friend!

- He can't have a resting bitch face, it's just too hard for him cause he can't help but have a small smile on his face, even when he's relaxing.

- Likes to say he listens to unique music but BTS is blasting in his headphones.

- He calls anyone he's close with "honey" it's just nice to him, ya know?

- But with a lover, he calls them his little "bumblebee"

- Is the least trusting of the bunch, he's just too anxious and is scared of the possibility of being betrayed, even if the chances are painfully low.

- He's the friend that is just so weird he's unique in his own little way.

- He likes to talk to bees when he sees them. Blue is low-key concerned when he hears him having full on conversations with them.

- He tends to mutter to himself a lot, it's a habit of his. He's mostly making jokes about himself.

Red:

- Chugs his respect women juice everyday. He doesn't play around.

- He's a huge flirt, but even he gets a little shy, it's just not obvious. But if you look close enough, you can't see a faint red hue on his cheeks, it's adorable.

- He's a big softie, but he's just so awkward with his emotions after all he's been through.

- After getting over that initial awkwardness, he's a romantic, but he tends to go for the less cheesy routes.

- He's the most easygoing of the bunch but he still has his tough shell on, he's used to fleeting relationships already.

- He's quite rowdy, too. Sure, he's not the most active but man, he would love to get in some trouble or do a ridiculous prank.

- He usually has a reason for when he does things, just saying he's doing it for no reason is something he does.

- His anger is explosive, but that's only when he really lashes out. Most of the time it's just him being annoyed.

- He can easily sense a person's intent just from their stance, it's what he had to do to survive in the underground, it's just something that stuck with him.

Edge:

- An Ass, Part 2.

- Unlike Stretch, Edge is haughty, he worked his bony ass off to get to where he is and he will gladly own it.

- He also lacks any sort of filter, but his words come out a lot more scathing and harsher.

- He keeps everyone at arm's length and doesn't really bother to get close to them unless they make an effort .

- He's very sassy and can go on for hours debating against anyone, his favourite is Jill with the pathetic excuse for fruit pizza. She's dumb, but she has fire, it's almost respectable. Almost.

- He's snobby and very prickly but it's more so to protect himself from giving into his emotions.

- If by some luck you happen to be his friend, he will absolutely make sure you leave his house feeling stuffed.

- He loves tiny animals, something about them reminds him of simpler times before his life went to shit.

- He also doesn't give a fuck about anyone's opinions but his own... And maybe someone he cares about, big maybe tho.

Black:

- Man, this is the third installment for Another Ass™.

- He actually has the potential to be the smoothest of them all, but he's just so prickly and a butt that it's almost a shame.

- He's very, very competitive. If you offer to play against you... Godspeed. You can almost see the fire in his eyes and he just becomes an entirely different person.

- Though, most of the time, he is pretty level headed. He also is perfect if you want to come to him for advice, he's honest about it but he's not too harsh like Edge.

- He doesn't really have to yell to have people's attention, he's incredibly intimidating.

- He also doesn't really care for romantic relationships all that much. He barely had any relationship in his universe except for a familial one with his brother.

Rus:

- Stoner vibes, but he's not really a stoner lmao.

- He's very relaxed and usually likes to lay down, staring off into nothing.

- The reason why he's so quiet is because he's usually thinking about a lot of things, it's how he expresses himself.

- Likes to call himself an e-boy for the memes. Has the potential for it, though.

- He also likes to go out a lot, doesn't matter for what, he just likes being outside.

- He's less of an ass than Stretch is, but that doesn't mean he won't bully you.

Wine:

- The flirtiest and the smoothest of them all.

- Also probably has an ego that could rival Edge's.

- He has a lot of hobbies as he loves to throw himself into a lot of work only to go on a long, self indulgent break.

- He plays a father figure to all of them and has schedules set for all of them, he is the only one who can wake them up without getting yelled at.. Sometimes.

- He loves to have many talents and will constantly improve on himself.

- What do you mean he's passive aggressive? He's just being honest.

- He is the wisest of them though, and knows how to handle almost every situation perfectly.

- He misuses memes to mess with the others. Truth is, he knows that they are, he just likes embarrassing the boys.

- Also will call them his kids to really mess with them.

Coffee:

- He's quiet, and his facial expression does give off a vibe You'd expect someone like Rus or Black to have.

- It's easy to get him to break out of his shell though, but he's the least emotional of the bunch, so his reactions aren't always going to be what you want.

- He knows he looks innocent, and uses it. More for the fact that he can ask people to give him an offer on this drink or whatever, and they'd do it.

- He loves his games, an absolute gamer god omg.

- He's very impatient and gets pouty sometimes just to really annoy the others as well.

- He also likes making stuff and will gift them to people he cares about, it's all usually woodwork tho.

Thistle:

- He's very soft-spoken, but he can be rather cheeky when he wants to be.

- He's very protective of his brother and it takes time to even have him refer to you as a friend.

- He still retains that laid back attitude that Sans normally has, but Thistle is much, much more observant of all that happens around him.

- He's very generous to those that he cares about, and only those that are close to him.

- He's also a big cat to those that are close to him, usually hanging onto them as they struggle to carry him around, low runbles or laughter leaving him.

- He doesn't really like dark humor after reaching the surface, noticing how some people use it for the wrong reasons. He's more into cheesy puns and lighthearted jokes.

- He likes to tease and have fun, friendly banter every now and then. He finds it a nice break from the stress!

- He loves visually stimulating things, especially the cooking process, there's something about it that just puts his mind at ease.

Chestnut:

- He's very anxious about a lot of things, especially if people look at him for little too long. He's aware why, and he hates it.

- Though, he has been a bit more forgiving to himself, learning to be subtle with his insults.. .well, subtle is a bit of a generous word but stars, his insults can leave you stunned.

- He's very independent, and likes to do things by himself. It fills him with a sense of accomplishment as he does something.

- Chestnut is a no nonsense skeleton. He relies on communication and isn't as forgiving as he seems.

- He's not an ass, but he has no tolerance for people who take advantage of others or hurt others for no reason.

- He's a very tender skeleton, too. He loves to have walks during the autumn season and take photographs of the beautiful scenery. He takes lessons with Rus.

- After all that he's been through, it's kind of hard for him to get attached easily as well, as he's more focused on his needs and well-being first.

[i-need-air]

Truthful mess.

Summary: Truth quirk shenanigans. HCs type with Bakugou, Kirishima, Shouto and Shinsou.

Note: Still don't know how to add "Read more" on phone, still need to make a masterlist. At least I have coffee. [I’M DOING BOTH RN, BE PROUD;;;LOOKATTHEReADMORE] Ty for reading! ♥

Bakugou Katsuki:

× well, shit

× he fucked up real bad and now he had to pay for it

× noticed something was wrong when he thanked Kirishima for saving his life instead of giving him the usual snappy attitude

× made the redhead promise to keep the secret or he'll kill him

× seriously kill and incinerate his body and was 100% serious about it

× Bakugou tried his hardest to keep his mouth shut and everything went okay until you just existed in the same room at him

× he'd just get the fuck out because all he wanted to tell you was how good you looked in whatever you were wearing or how beautiful your face was when kissed by the rays of sunshine and he was so confused

× he literally wanted to word vomit all of that

× thankfully the police arresting the mf that did this to him informed Katsuki about the effects of the quirk itself

× approximately 3 days of spilling truths

× he could handle that

× easy

× but not really; the less he talked the more he needed to spill out his mind

× he'd still snap at people, they were just dumb and he voiced that but

× well, hello there, [y/n]

× he prays you don't waltz around him

× life can be a bitch though

× it happened while training, Cementos made an area for each of you to improve your quirks and guess what? you're placed just by his side

× you just waved at him and he ignored you

× asshole much; until you kick-dropped and broke a big piece of cement in half

× "Fuck, that was so sexy..."

× your head turned slowly towards Bakugou because that was his voice, definitely, no doubt

× but it was raspy and low and it did some things to your, ehem, lowers and holy shit

× Bakugou looked like a deer caught in the highlights; he was full "step on me" mode and????????

× instantly turned the other way and yes, he is blushing

× he just couldn't hold it in, man

× so you're confused, blushing, Kirishima is near-by shook as fuck because he's ✨ realizing things ✨ since of course he's now Bakugou's self-proclaimed guard dog

× and Bakugou is back at ignoring you, his friend and the world

× you decide to keep an eye on him because that was not normal and oh my god why is that voice still affecting you? did he seriously say that??

× meanwhile you catch him looking at you from the corner of your eyes

× boy is staring real bad

× so you just go his way

× he panics as you approach him and blows shit up

× "Don't fucking come closer!" you freeze because what the hell? you thought you were getting along? yeah he's been snappy recently but it's Bakugou, he has mood-swings

× but not like this? at least with you?

× also what he said before just gave you hope??

× so you decide Fuck it all and get closer, noticing how Kirishima also approaches, looking like a bodyguard

× you raise your eyebrow because Excuse you?

× "[L/N], you should leave him be for now–"

× "Get out of my way or I'll break you, Kirishima."

× so you're having a staring match with the red-head, almost nose to nose when legit a growl shakes you to the core

× "[Y/N]'s mine, Shitty Hair, back down." he said between his teeth, his palms sparkling, quirk ready

× so his friend backs up, hands raised in defeat but a knowing grin on his face

× even in full shock you expected him to ignore you again but he just stomps towards you angrily, teeth greeted

× "You have a thing for him, hmm? You like Kirishima?" he was glaring at you, breathing heavily but suddenly locked his eyes in your lips

× and while he's throwing this fit or whatever it was, all the class kinda stopped whatever they were doing to see what's going on

× but Cementos ain't having any of that so parts you guys with a cement wall and orders you to keep training

× Bakugou was never more thankful because holy shit what was about to happen?

× you're full mind-blown, remembering his words again and again not even focusing on training; you decide to talk with his dumb ass to clarify what he said and wAs he jealous? i mean he literally said you're his so—... HE FUCKING SAID YOU'RE HIS????

× after that he went back to his grumpy old man form, you don't talk again until days later, although you did try to approach him again, many times, because YOU'RE HIS????????

× it's when he finally realizes the quirk is wearing off and he's relieved because it got to a point where he couldn't sleep

× so when you confront him in the common room the next morning he shrugs it off with a "I thought I'd accidentally confess that I love you and that would've been a problem."

× he freezes

× you freeze

× he wanted to call you a dumbass and move on until he figures his shit up but...

× that's when he realizes the effect of the quirk was dying off in waves

× save him from the mortification and confess too, please?

Kirishima Eijirou:

× he's normally a truthful guy

× but not like this, man, not like this

× Fatgum saved his ass but it was too late since he already got hit by a quirk, although none knew what it was about, so his mentor was having a full Panic moment

× later on he was informed about it's nature and was confused because nothing changed?

× he still compliments people, he's still his old self and is actually so happy that's the case

× thinks he's manly because he's honest about his feelings

× although he forgot about a tiny little detail

× his big fat crush on you

× like he'd blush when you came around, almost stuttered when responding to you, would try harder when you were around because pretty please, notice him, shows off more, all the I-need-YOUR-attention bag

× because he's smooth but in a Kirishima way, you know?

× felt he had zero (0) game [so not manly of him]

× will hands down not avoid you; thinks it's lame to run away from this

× who would've thought this was the best thing that could've happened to him?

× still had his boyish charm, cute smiles, blushes

× but now we add the honest "You look amazing today. Well, more than usual." with a wink because if he can't stop himself, at least he'll make it work big time

× and oh, shit that's doing stuff to your poor heart because his compliments are all over the roof? wth is going on?

× everyone knew about his feelings for you but now they really knew

× literally takes him half a day to spill all out

× he did try to clear his mind of those feelings in class because that would be so awkward and weird; he spent so much time daydreaming how to confess before and doing it there was definitely not the plan, but something more personal and meaningful

× when Kiri saw you in the common room though, alone and minding your own business, a grin broke on his face and had hearts in his eyes

× Bakugou had to hear a lot of shit about you, tho just rolled his eyes; "whatever, shitty hair."

× because you're so flawlessly beautiful and you're not even trying

× your head snaps up at him, blushing

× OOP–did he just blurt that out?

× so he's laughing awkwardly because not like this, man

× but goes with it because We die like men here 😤

× cue word vomit about how great you are and this quirk hit him and god you're amazing and it's not a lie because remember when you first met at UA? well he thought you were an angel and when you smiled at him? perfection and your blushing face is adorable and needs to see it everyday and ok this quirk needs to stop–

× meanwhile

× [Y/N].exe has stopped working

× legit tho, he won't shut the hell up and it's adorable

× all day he's been super smooth about his compliments to you and now he's the sweetest mess ever

× and you only notice yourself smiling when he points it out and says it's the single most beautiful thing he's ever seen in his entire life

× and even if that almost makes you 404 again you laugh and walk towards him

× which he follows and steps closer to you too

× smiling

× so he calms down when you're not freaking out about what he's spilling and goes back to being cha-cha-real-smooth again

× "I want to be able to call you mine"

Todoroki Shouto:

× another guy that doesn't really notice it at first

× he got hit by this weird blue-purple dust while on patrol with his dad

× and Endeavor went feral on this low-life villain deciding to attack suddenly

× low and behold, seems the guy wasn't a villain, just a civilian that sneezed and activated his quirk by accident

× quirk that landed on Shouto here

× which just stared confused because what?

× explanations happen, Endeavor is looking down at Shouto expecting something anytime now

× but Icy-Hot here just shrugs it off because it's okay, it's just 3 or 4 days

× funny thing is his dad asked him questions and realized pretty quick that Shouto has been really honest with him until now, which bummed him because Endeavor Is Trying™

× Todoroki Shouto was confident that nothing would go wrong so he forgets about it basically

× two days pass; class time happens

× is so fucking casual about it but it's so hilariously confusing

× he was honest before but he was quiet in general, that's why his honesty came in small dosages

× now he has no filter and won't shut up, he has this absolute need to share his thoughts

× my boy has opinions about everything

× but especially about [Y/N]

× oh yeah, he definitely tells you how that color enhances your natural beauty or how you're really smart

× is so casual and nonchalant, shooks everyone, leaves you full confusion mode while he just smiles and leaves

× legit doesn't realize it

× he complimented you before, that's the thing, but now he's really intensifying it but without changing the tone and execution and it's just a mess

× example:

× goes from "You changed your hairstyle. It looks nice." to "The way you style your hair now makes your eyes pop out more. I love it."

× lowkey proclaims his love about you; it's so obvious it hurts; you have to take it like a champ, man

× it takes Tsu to actually ask what's going on, in the first hour of class

× [even Aizawa is listening, pretending to sleep]

× explains why he's acting like this; "I got hit accidentally by a quirk that makes me speak only the truth."

× everyone just goes crazy while you're piecing stuff together in deep thought

× "Who do you think is the strongest in the class?"

× "Aizawa."

× lowkey a little shit

× "Between the students."

× "Me."

× big time a little shit

× it's until Mina asks who he likes that all hell breaks loose

× Shouto just turns to look at you, blinks and says your name

× just as everyone goes mental after a moment of silence, the bell rings signaling the next class, to which Aizawa [the mature man he is, acting as if this wasn't the best tea-spill he's gonna have at lunch with the other teachers 💅] wakes up, silences everyone and continues class

× every pair of eyes are on you all class

× Shouto is having an existencial crisis because he's actually realizing himself that he likes you

× a lot

× hands down he thought about how great you are, wondered deep in though at night why his heart beat so fast when you smiled at him, how come he got jealous???? when you'd pair with someone else to study or train... the boy didn't even know it was jealousy until now

× as in now he knew he wanted to hold your hand, have more inside jokes between you two, kiss you, marry you, wait what—

× you on the other hand are hyperventilating because Shouto likes you

× and you like him back and oH my god, wHAT just happened????

× lunch break comes, nobody moved from their seats while Todoroki just walks by, stares at you, slight blush on his face

× "I'd like to speak alone with you. About my feelings. Towards you. I like you."

× nice alone chat, Shouto 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

× legit nobody is breathing, not making a single noise, waiting for your reaction

× so through stutters and all, you have to grab him by his wrist and get the hell out, the attention being too much

× before you reach a quiet place to talk he just stares at your hand

× "I like it when you touch me. Your hand is warm and it makes my skin tingle–"

× so you're a blushing mess when you let go of his wrist fastly

× "Do you not like me back?" [insert kicked puppy face]

× [insert you telling him that you do, but all the attention in class was killing you]

× "Good. Now hold my hand properly."

× that day Shouto learned that being bold with you was the perfect way to get the sweetest reactions out of you

× it's called teasing and Todoroki Shouto will never stop

Hitoshi Shinsou:

× Shinsou had a Reputation™, ok?

× Calm, cool, collected, that's Hitoshi Shinsou

× so how come Monoma did him so dirty?

× it seems the blond borrowed a quirk from someone he knew and fled to school to just bring Hell on Earth

× but the only person he managed to throw the quirk at was at Shinsou

× it wasn't even intended for him, but for Bakugou to embarrass him

× so here he was, Mister Tired-of-this-fucking-world now having another reason to be done with everything

× the boy wasn't dumb

× made a strategy just as Monoma was apologizing for the mistake

× somehow the blond took a liking on him and even if he was now part of class 2-A, Monoma proclaimed he was a 2-B at heart; moving on...

× 3 to 5 days of not talking lies

× great, amazing, marvelous, incredible, fantastic

× Rule #1: Avoid [Y/N] at all costs

× which would prove rather difficult since you're part of the same group he was in

× and you were starting to be really good friends

× something he loved/hated because yes, he wants your friendship but he also wants much more

× so when you came to class, would you look at that! Shinsou is sleeping!

× when you went to lunch with the squad? he fled the scene, not opening his mouth

× asked to borrow a pen in class? didn't even look into your eyes as he just gave you one

× after 3 days of this you were starting to get annoyed

× and Midoriya was writing shit down in that notebook of his mumbling stuff every single time Hitoshi bailed

× what you didn't know is that the whole Dekusquad caught on to Shinsou's shenanigans and demanded answers

× well, Ochaco did and she instantly got them because she's terrifying when serious

× so Izuku is in deep fascination with the quirk, Iida is stiff as fuck and Uraraka has this really creepy I-know-something-you-don't smile on her face; Shouto was existing there too, minding his business 🍵

× you really tried to grab a hold of Shinsou but he wasn't even answering your texts

× time to make a game-plan

× and the easiest way to understand what's going on was through Deku and that suspicious notebook of his

× it wasn't even that hard to get it because you got the perfect opportunity basically thrown in your lap

× he was mumbling your name as he was writing down

× you literally demanded to see what he's writing about involving you

× the boy went full panic but before he could manage to escape the situation, the guy that's been avoiding you grabs you by your forearm and tugs you in the hallway

× there he was, purple messy head you wanted to smack, looking all uncomfortable, rubbing the back of his neck

× "Ok, listen, I have something to tell you and I want you to know through me, not through that notebook" he sighed, eyes avoiding you

× and while you're hurt and exhausted he just mumbles "Who knows what type of embarrassing stuff he wrote there..."

× hold up, he blushing?

× so while you're processing that he explains

× "Been hit by a quirk..." yada-yada, this and that

× "Ok, but why have you been avoiding me of all people?" you just go hard on him for a little bit, not hiding that you're hurting "Do you not trust me?"

× he's caught off guard

× "Because I love you and I'm scared you'll never look at me the same."

× longest silence of his life

× he never felt the need to fill a silent moment more than now

× so he mumbles

× oh, yah, he just blurts it all out while looking everywhere but you

× "I mean you deserve better than a guy with a quirk like this. I didn't want to make things uncomfortable between us so I thought avoiding you was the best, just so we can continue being friends and–"

× he's a fucking mess and it hurts you that he's saying stuff like that because holy shit you love this sleepy idiot?

× of course you kiss him to silence his rant

× and when you separate from it and start to reassure him he's just a m a z i n g, how dare he say stuff like that and how dare he avoid you for so long; now it's his time to kiss you back slowly and sweetly

× cue instant, lazy smile

× "You're adorable..."

[orange-waterfalls]

Trans Male Reader HCs

ty @peachyplays​ for the request!

A/N: PEACHY SIR I AM SO FUCKING SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG UHHHHHH but im still alive. i am here. im fine. this is some hcs about before transitioning and during and a lil after bc i feel like after it would just be. pretty normal. uh i did the 5 that appeared in ahwm, excluding heistiplier bc ehhhh. Darkipier, Wilford, Yancy, Illinois, Magnum. Rated T, i think. TW: mention of periods, scars, binding, dysphoria. Yeah. I think that’s it. Enjoy!

Trans Male!Reader HCs

Darkiplier

Doesn’t really care

You have girl parts. Great

He has a century old demonic entity+a pair of twins. You're not special

Tries to be understanding, but mostly just doesn’t address it very much

There’s no need to! He loves you, it doesn't matter to him!

He will try to make you feel comfortable if you start to feel dysphoric

If you menstruate, he deals with it well

Both Damien and Celine would know precisely what to do so…

Heating pad, candy, movies + snuggles

Makes you lay down and hold the heating pad while you wait for the painkillers to kick in

Has a timer for 10 hours and you WILL take your binder off when it goes off

Is not afraid to threaten you over it

You know he doesn’t mean it and DAMMIT MAN YOU’RE GONNA HURT YOURSELF

If you start to take T, he just sits next to you

It might seem like he’s vibrating a little

That’s just the emotion seeping out

It seems like he doesn’t pay attention to your voice

In reality he listens closely everyday for how much deeper it went

You expected him to laugh when your voice cracked

he just asked you to repeat what you said

You appreciated that

He offers to pay for your top surgery if you decide to get it

Whether you say yes or know, he supports you

But he’s also nervous because Surgery

He checks the history of every person who even might be near you

Your surgeon was acting “strange” so he interrogated the poor man

You then explained he was doing his JOB

He squeezes your hand and kisses the back of it before you go into surgery.

The others have to convince him that you are not, in fact, going to Die

When you get out of surgery he stands on the other side of the room, waiting

He looks straight out of a horror movie

You almost scream when you wake up

He steps into the light holding a basket of fruit

He’s been watching a lot of romance movies…

Makes sure you DON’T FUCKING MOVE when you get home

You are going to LAY THERE and HEAL and you’re gonna LIKE IT

Often asks how your scars feel

A little defensive if people ask about them

A bit protective, but pretty much the same as before

Wilford

I don’t… I don’t think he comprehends the situation

I don’t think he knows what you mean, i’ll be honest

I think he just. Loves you. And filters everything else out.

Because unless it changes how you feel about him, it Does Not Matter

He treats you the same way he always does

Which includes being extra clingy and cuddly when you’re feeling bad or dysphoric

If you menstruate he goes into Good Boyf mode

Meaning he absolutely SPOILS you, moreso than usual

Cooks for you, buys you… a lot of things you probably don’t need…

Asks "is it shark week?" and buys extra detergent

You will take your binder off when it's time

You have no choice in the matter

and when you don't he somehow gets it off of you???

I dunno man, he's like. A god. Who knows

He WILL make sure you're safe and healthy whether you like it or not

If you start to take T, he's not allowed at the clinic

He's banned from like. Everywhere.

He always makes sure to say your voice sounds deeper

Even if it's early and it doesn't and you KNOW it doesn't, he says it anyways

He's just being supportive, it's fine

He's a lil nervous if you decide to get top surgery

The idea of someone just straight up cutting you while you're ASLEEP???

hate. bad. no thanks.

He tries to watch through a window but has to give up bc he just starts feeling Bad.

he sits and bounces his leg in the waiting room and plays with a fidget toy you got him

He basically teleports into the room when you're out

The nurse faints because what the FUCK

He just holds his bowl of chicken noodle soup while they're dragged out of the room

You eat and talk for a bit and he just gazes at you bc your voice is so nice

He's very smothering when you get home

Thinks you're gonna hurt yourself whenever you do anything

sit DOWN you dumbass you're gonna TEAR YOUR STITCHES

makes you binge a bunch of movies with him

He doesn't really pay attention, just watches you to see if you need anything

likes to trace and kiss your scars if you let him

Loves you so much <333

Yancy

I mean. He probably doesn't know what you mean

You are? a boy? I don't?

You explain and THEN he understands

He's a lil dumb, it's ok.

He isn't quite sure how to make you feel better when you're dysphoric??

Does he call you manly? Does he completely ignore you? What does he do?!

Eventually he’s settled on awkwardly calling you “Handsome” and “very masculine”

If you menstruate, he panics

He's had a mom before, he knows what it does

He doesn’t know how to make you feel better

He doesn’t wanna coddle you but also he likes feeling like he’s needed

He tries to cook for you but uh. yeah that didn't work out

The cook kicked him out and then made it themself, having Yancy deliver it to you

He convinced the warden to give him painkillers as well, and buys you candy

He’ll make sure you take your binder off when you need to

Might be a little lax, like with a child

“Okay… 30 more minutes. But then yous is takin' it off!”

Doesn’t fully understand the repercussions of you not taking it off

Once he does he literally BEGS you to take it off

Actually started crying one time

If you start T he asks a bunch of questions you probably don't know the answer to

He’s fascinated by how much your voice changes

He bites his lip to not laugh whenever your voice cracks

Once your voice gets like. As deep as it will go he kisses you and says you sound hot

He will panic if you decide to get top surgery

Constantly suggests robbing a bank or robbing a rich person

“There’s some expensive shit that’s been confiscated, i can help!”

When the day actually comes he's on the consistent verge of a panic attack

he can't even like BE there because. prison.

He cries while everyone else has to comfort him for the entire time you're healing

Once you see him again he interrogates you to make sure you're taking care of yourself

A guard lets you two have a little time alone, and you two talk about it

If you let him, he wants to see the result

He gives you a big hug and tells you how much he loves you

Illinois

Probably the only one who actually understands and actually KNOWS shit

though he's too narcissistic to really… like… care

He loves you, but like. If you don’t mention it he doesn’t really feel a need to

He will make sure you’re okay, he knows when you act weird

Other than that he doesn’t actively do much

He says "hey there handsome" or something like that every morning, and that's about it

If you menstruate, he just tosses you painkillers and says there's ice cream in the freezer

I mean. that's pretty much all you need

He will cuddle if you ask, though

Also flirts with you and talks to you more

If you bind, he will be very pushy about it

Will not let you do anything until you take your binder off after the designated amount of time

if he's on an adventure, he calls the others to go to your place and tell you to take your binder off

He knows you won't listen but I mean shit he doesn't want you hurt

If you DONT take it off and have bruises he will straight up blackmail you

Keep doing this, you don't get any cuddles or kisses

Mostly for your benefit bc. bruises. but still

If you start T, he will help, but only if you ask

When your voice cracks he laughs

He apologizes while still laughing

He sleeps on the couch a lot

A little startled after he comes home from an adventure and your voice is deep?? hot???

If you get surgery, he’s relatively calm

He doesn’t like the sounds and smells of the hospital, though.

They weird him out

He’ll kiss you a bunch before you go into surgery and then waits outside.

Probably goes to get some food as well

When you’re out, he sits by you and eats, waiting for you to wake up

He slides an apple over to you and tells you to eat if you feel like it

He does his best to take care of you at home

He knows how to heal, and you need to SIT your ass down

Stays home from adventures while you heal

He doesn’t trust you to take care of yourself

He will not ASK you to take care of yourself he will TELL you because he KNOWS how you are

Stares at your scars sometimes

He doesn’t mean to be rude, they're just… there

He likes them. They’re cool. They’re yours, how could he not?

Tries to be as respectful as he can be

Kisses your scars. Like a lot. Like a LOT a lot.

He has a thing for scars, they’re badass

Captain Magnum

Completely Does Not Understand

At the same time, Does Not Care

Can you shoot? Can you stab? Can you loot? Then you’re perfect

Treats you the same way as the rest of his crew but with a lil more special attention

That attention being calling you rugged and tough

If you menstruate, he recommends hanging out with the rest of them to distract you

He also recommends LOOTING!

You’re pirates, what else would he want from you

Will stop in a town to buy whatever you need, if you ask

But you can probably get something from some other crewmates

If you bind, he won't let you do anything until you take it off when you need to

Think you can trick him bc he doesn't know what's happening?

SURPRISE BITCH HE LOOKED IT UP

ya can't fool the man, he may be stupid but he's not dumb

If you want to start T, he’ll stay in one town for a while.

Understands that you need this, and doesn’t want you to be upset

NO he’s not playing favorites but yes he absolutely is

Doesn’t ask questions, it’s not his business

However, if you explain, he will listen

Will be elated if you steal from the town

He’s still a pirate, and you are still his boyfriend, you had to do something

Makes you sing sea shanties when your voice gets deeper

Better be prepared to sing the chorus alone, even if you’re a shit singer

He just loves to hear it and therefore EVERYONE ELSE will hear it too

If you get surgery, he’s very nervous

He's never really been in a hospital but he thinks it's unnatural

Too white. Too clean. Too much.

Refuses to go in the hospital, but gives you a tight hug before you go in

He then regrets not going in because he misses you a lot :(

Once you're out and can go back on the ship he's very gentle

He's not a gentle man, but he tries

Makes you stay in your quarters and tries to make you comfy

Doesn't really know what to do so let's a crewmate help you

Claims that your scars make you badass! and attractive!

Puts you on the front lines to boost up your confidence

It only makes you nervous really, but you appreciate the effort

[jungshookz]

What the hell? How the fuck does this work?

Testing, testing… 1, 2, 3… [microphone feedback] okay, ow- Oh! There we go.

Hello, all of you ghouls and goblins! Welcome to Cee’s House of Horrors 2020! 

I hope you’re ready to piss your pants. Or projectile vomit. Or both! Actually, I hope both, because I would love to see it. I’m your host - everyone’s favourite demon - obviously, Cee decided to make me the host of this exciting event because… well, you see the pointy red horns, don’t you? I don’t usually have them out because they’re a little tacky, but, t’is the season, am I right? Some of you may know who I am, and some of you may not! I’m Yoongi! Or, I guess my official title would be demon!yoongi. The point is, I’m Yoongi… and I’m here to ruin the next week of your life.

Since all of your brains combined are about the size of a single pea, I bet you’re all confused right now. You’re probably thinking to yourself: ‘What the hell is going on?’, ‘Where’s Cee?’, ‘Oh, god - is this another fic drop? Jesus Christ. Why does she have to make these things so dramatic all the time? Can she just drop a fic for once and not do anything else?!’ I’ll ask you to save your questions for the end… and then just keep them to yourselves for the rest of your pathetic little lives because I won’t be answering any of them.

Anyways, I guess I have to read off this dumb script… 

‘Here at Jungshookz Headquarterz, your entertainment is our top priority…’ god, seriously? That’s the company policy? No, no. Now that Cee’s not here, my priority is to freak you out so much that you start to wonder if the pile of clothes sitting on the floor is really just a bunch of sweatshirts or if it’s a mangled, bloody-mouthed demon about to pounce on you and feast on your face. With that being said… Welcome to the very first choose-your-own-adventure tale! Ta-da! Did you enjoy the promotion for it? I certainly had fun. I’m the guy at the crossroads! You should’ve seen your face. 

The thing is… Cee’s technically already set up a whole story for you guys and all the bits and pieces are ready to be posted and she told me that all I’d have to do is post one part every day but… I read it over and it was the blandest thing I’d ever read in my entire life, and if I could go back in time and un-read it, and then pour bleach directly into my eyeballs, I would, which is why… I’m going to rewrite everything. What Cee doesn’t know won’t hurt her, right? And I know you guys certainly aren’t going to tattle-tale, because if you do, I’ll make sure that the presence constantly looming over your shoulder manifests into its physical form right as you’re about to fall asleep tonight. And, while I’m at it, I’ll throw a handful of spiders into your mouth while you’re asleep. The point is - shut your trap.

Here are the rules. Read ‘em.

Our tale will be broken down into seven parts - each part will be posted every day at midnight starting on Sunday - and the final part will be posted on Halloween, marking the end of the event. I know, it sucks. I wish everyday was Halloween.

Each part will end with two different options for you to choose from, and in order to contribute your vote to the story, you must a) like the post (don’t accidentally ‘forget’ to like the post or I’m going to ‘accidentally’ drop you into a vat of lava), b) reblog the post to spread some Halloween joy, and c) head on over to Cee’s twitter page to place your vote. …She did mention to everyone that she had a twitter page, right? Because the success of this event depends on those polls. I wouldn’t be surprised if she forgot, seeing that she’s an idiot and all- Oh, also, sending your vote in via Cee’s ask box and spamming your vote does not count. Cee probably wouldn’t want to come back to see her inbox cluttered with a hundred A’s and B’s floating around everywhere, and if that happens, I’m going to get shit for it, and she’s not going to let me host anything ever again. Don’t do it. Don’t be an asshole!

The voting period will end an hour after it’s been posted, which is definitely more than enough time for you to read and make a decision. After the hour ends, that’s when I’ll swoop in and tally up the results. The poll closes automatically, so if you miss the deadline, you miss the deadline. And complaining about it or whining about it isn’t going to help any of us in any way, you big crybabies.

The less popular option will not be posted and will immediately be scrunched up and tossed into a fire, so don’t bother asking about it.

Cee’s not here. And she won’t be here for the next seven days, which means no regular asks will be answered. That’ll disrupt the whole vibe I’m setting up here, you know? Character asks will still be answered, but I’ll be monitoring everything this week. 

Speaking of Cee, I sent her off to an isolated cabin in the woods. Don’t worry about it. Unlike the promotion event for La Vie En Bonsai - which, by the way, was the cheesiest thing I’ve ever read in my entire life - there will be no direct hotline to her phone. Now, with that being said, I encourage you to continue to send Cee messages every day just so she doesn’t go crazy in the cabin. You know, give her a little something to scroll through while she’s climbing up a tree to get away from a grizzly bear. Long story short - it’s just going to be you and I, my friends.

Here’s a list of a bunch of different time zones because I know one of you is going to bitch about having to figure it out and I don’t have the energy to listen to your shrill voices for more than three seconds. And don’t get pissed if you have to be up at a weird hour. Deal with it.

PST: 12:00AM

EST: 3:00AM (The perfect time because that’s when my friends and I are most active!)

CDT: 2:00AM

BST: 8:00AM

AEST: 5:00PM

ACST: 4:30PM

JST: 4:00PM

CST: 3:00PM

WIB: 3:00PM

IST: 12:30PM

MSK: 10:00AM

CEST: 9:00AM

GMT: 7:00AM

ART: 4:00AM

HST: 9:00PM

AKDT: 11:00PM

Okay, that’s it.

See you tomorrow at midnight. 

[saeyoungs-sunflower]

yo!!! what are the rfas nighttime routines with mc?

Welcome back to another episode of ‘Sunny is drinking alone and decided to get her shit together and do some requests’ (I am a horrible influence, if you are under the drinking age please be responsible). Anywayyyy here ya go anon! I very well may read this back in the morning and edit it again but will let you know! <3

***

RFA nighttime routines with MC

Zen:

❤︎ Zen’s all about a pamper y’all

❤︎ he wants to stay looking fresh and healthy but bbygirl he also wants to make sure you’re well looked after

❤︎ is it even a nighttime routine if you don’t have an elaborate hour-long skincare regime?

❤︎ well yes Zen not everyone is as extra as you like you might as well be chewing gum

❤︎ if anyone actually gets that dumb joke then i am so sorry but also you get 10 points

❤︎ whilst i don’t imagine Zen to usually be that tired in the evenings, his muscles are always tired after a show/day of rehearsals

❤︎ so he would have a bath but he also gets home pretty late and doesn’t wanna faff around ya know?

❤︎ so shower it is

❤︎ oh you think that because he’s a grown ass man that he could be away from you for like 10 mins to shower on his own? well you thought wrong

❤︎ actual puppy

❤︎ sometimes it turns into ~sexy times~ but most of the time he just enjoys the intimacy/closeness and enjoys it when you take care of each other

❤︎ and boy when you shampoo his hair he literally turns to putty

❤︎ when you get out of the shower he L O V E S to do your hair

❤︎ king of braiding

❤︎ but he L O V E S it even more when you do his hair

❤︎ pretty sure you heard him purr once

❤︎ then he sneezed lmao

❤︎ you’re both pretty much out as soon as you get into bed but you always fall asleep in each others’ arms

❤︎ to conclude: nighttimes are about taking care of each other

Yoosung:

★ so this man FINALLY got his life together once you started dating

★ you helped him find his motivation and drive again so it’s actually a pretty production evening most of the time

★ your goal is to get everything done early on so you can relax properly later

★ soon as you both get home? homework/work straight away

★ you also try to make a habit of cooking dinner together every night

★ but you know how it is sometimes you just wanna order a takeaway and that’s chill too

★ do what you gotta do boo

★ once you’ve finished dinner aND DONE ALL THE WASHING UP (don’t you dare leave it until the morning Yoosung i see you), you play LOLOL together !!!!

★ he found that it was SO much more rewarding to play once everything he needed to do was done, and he didn’t have that horrible nagging guilt whilst he had down time

★ then all that’s left to do is get ready for bed !!

★ …

★ …Yoosung?

★ GO TO BED FOOL

★ “mC oNe MoRe gAme” “you said that an hour ago.” “i MeAn iT tHiS TiMe”

★ EVENTUALLY you drag him to bed but he’s always grateful when you do because he only realises how tired he is when his head hits the pillow

★ and he also gets  s n u g g l e s  so it’s always worth it

★ to conclude: nighttimes are productive but also relaxing

Jaehee:

☞ this poor woman works so hard

☞ even when she quits working for Jumin and you guys open the coffee shop, she still always pushes herself to the max

☞ ya girl gets tired

☞ so you know what that means

☞ BUBBLE BATH TIME

☞ some things only bubbles can heal

☞ wow what that’s so deep Sunny ah yes wasn’t it thank you Sunny aren’t i inspirational yes you are Sunny

☞ you two always go a but overboard with the bubbles lmao but this woman only deserves the best o K

☞ similarly to Yoosung’s, you guys like to get everything done that needs to be done before you relax, so once you get out of the bath you can do whatever ya want!!! how swell is that!!!!

☞ usually end up watching a movie/one of Zen’s musicals because why not hmm?

☞ Jaehee likes to get an early night, so y’all are all snuggled down and ready to sleep at a reasonable hour, ready for your shift in the morning

☞ on a serious note, this woman is pretty affection starved so you make it your MISSION to shower her with love before she falls asleep

☞ i’m talking kisses, cuddles, the whole shebang

☞ when you’re cuddling you like to have a good gossip about the RFA and all that and you always end up all giggly and it’s just the best

☞ to conclude: every night is like a teenage girly night in that she never got to experience

Jumin:

♚ although he doesn’t like to show it, he’s always exhausted after work

♚ he has a lot of pressure on him and he constantly has to be focussed and alert, so by the time he’s walking through the front door he’s running on very little energy

♚ therefore he appreciates a quiet night with the love of his life <3

♚ of course, every night you have a nice meal and a glass of wine W I N E and chat about your day

♚ Jumin has learnt to appreciate the smaller things in life after meeting you, so he adores listening to your voice as you talk about what you got up to that day during dinner

♚ you could be reading the phone book out loud for all he cared, he just loved listening to your voice

♚ he’s usually too mentally tired to do anything like reading in the evening, so most of the time you end up either watching a film or cuddling on the couch

♚ you have enlightened him to the concept of slouchy clothes

♚ yes, Jumin Han has learnt to appreciate joggers and a hoodies what about it?

♚ honestly just the sound of Elizabeth purring and your breathing is enough to bring his stress levels to 0

♚ he’s tried meditation, he’s tried mindfulness, but nothing was as healing as having you in his arms whilst you stroked his hair

♚ after you’ve done the essentials like showering and brushing your teeth and all that jazz, you get into bed and just talk

♚ normally you end up talking about your future, and he goes to sleep every night dreaming about the life you will have together, and then wakes up every morning excited to make that life a reality

♚ to conclude: nighttimes are for recovery and comfort

Saeyoung:

☀︎ honestly? every night is different lmao

☀︎ Saeyoung is a spontaneous guy, so no evening is the same when you’re with him

☀︎ which is amazing, because it keeps things exciting and fresh !!

☀︎ however, there are a few things that don’t change

☀︎ like fAMILY DINNER Y’ALL

☀︎ every. night. without. fail.

☀︎ it’s SO important to you guys that you have time to catch up with each other and make sure that Saeran feels a part of the family because sometimes he likes to hideaway and doesn’t know how to include himself

☀︎ so dinner time is the family bonding time, and then you go back to doing your own thing

☀︎ do you find brushing your teeth boring? do you wish you could make it more fun? do you have a energetic red-head in your life?

☀︎ well then LISTEN UP

☀︎ TEETH BRUSHING DANCE PARTY

☀︎ EVERY. DAMN. NIGHT.

☀︎ like is said, this man keeps you on your toes lmao

☀︎ is this a bathroom or a nightclub the world may never know

☀︎ did someone say cuddle monster??

☀︎ because that’s Saeyoung lol

☀︎ idek why but i always imagine Saeyoung to be very physically affectionate, and not necessarily in a ~sexy~ way

☀︎ he just really appreciates physical contact

☀︎ it grounds him and reassures him that you’re really there and really love him

☀︎ I AM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN IT’S A HUGE PROBLEM

☀︎ to conclude: every night is exciting and spontaneous, there’s never a boring night with Saeyoung

V  / Jihyun:

❁ V is also a man that appreciates a quiet night in

❁ he’s had so much chaos and drama in his life, that quiet domesticity is utter bliss to him

❁ evenings are typically spent in a companionable silence whilst you do your own thing

❁ reading, drawing, whatever! there’s just something so comforting to him about being with you, without even needing to talk

❁ music has become an VERY important part of your lives

❁ we all know that Jihyun is a man who appreciates the arts, and music is no exception

❁ he’s had a stressful day? he’s feeling overwhelmed? put on some soothing music and you can actually see the tension melt away

❁ always trying out new recipes for dinner

❁ most of the time they turn out delicious, but some are just complete abominations i am so sorry

❁ but really? it doesn’t matter because you made them together and you had a good laugh about them

❁ one thing that you recently started doing was reading together in bed

❁ and i don’t mean reading two separate books oh no no no

❁ i’m talking the same book

❁ what a plot twist

❁ every night you take in turns to read out loud to each other

❁ it takes a while to get through book this way, but it also mean that you both appreciate every damn word because how could you not when they’re coming from the literal love of your life??

❁ to conclude: nighttimes are spent in quiet bliss

Saeran:

☽ every evening begins with a walk

☽ it’s a must

☽ Saeran just l o v e s nature, and it’s the perfect start to a relaxing evening

☽ Saeyoung picked up on the fact that you both like evenings to be a calm time, so when you two get home he tries not to be too crazy

☽ but we all know this bitch is out of control so it doesn’t last long lol

☽ Saeran secretly finds it so entertaining but bless he would never admit it

☽ Saeran finds a pleasure in the ordinary

☽ he has never experienced ‘normal’, so he finds so much comfort in everyday activities such as washing up, cooking, setting the table…things like that

☽ he hasn’t had much time to form his own hobbies/interests, and is still experimenting to find things that he enjoys

☽ so he loves watching you do your hobbies

☽ it really doesn’t matter what it is, he just finds watching you concentrate on something you care about so fascinating

☽ often you will offer to teach him and share your interests, and his face always lights up when you do so

☽ this precious boi i cry

☽ he just loves to learn i C R Y

☽ when it comes to showering and all that, he prefers to do that alone

☽ don’t get me wrong, he adores you and cherishes every moment he spends with you

☽ but he’s easily overwhelmed and needs time to himself

☽ it’s also important to him that he’s able to care for himself, so something as simple as washing his face on his own helps him feel like he has some control

☽ to conclude: nighttime is the time for self-care and exploration

***

Thank you so much for the request, anon! I hope these were what you were looking for. Have a wonderful day💛

[cowboyified]

Below are some WIPs I’m releasing into the wild. They were all written at different times over the past two years so any mistakes/cliches you can blame on past June, I don’t know them. 

Go, be free.

This first one I think is the one I’m most fond of. I had such a vision for it; bottlecaps in trees, river swimming, making out against the fridge, all that good stuff you get with weecest. 

The summer Sam is seventeen they stay in one place for long enough Dean starts referring to it as ‘home’. 

It’s an old farmhouse, miles from any other structure, bar an outhouse and hay shed. There’s a porch running the length of the front and back, the wooden boards pulled up from their nails, wavy with the weather. Weatherboard paint peeling, wallpaper inside torn and missing in most places. 

They’re squatting, technically. The property owned by a family saved by hunters once, friends of friends of Bobby’s, too distraught by what they’d witnessed to raise their kids on cursed land. Dean had told Sam that Dad had been told by Bobby that had been told by Pastor Jim that it was chupacabras. A whole pack of ‘em, feeding off the lambs in the back paddock, tried to take a bite out of the baby girl and Sam had said, “As if man, those things are tiny, I’ve seen pictures, you could kick one and it would limp away like a fucking chihuaha, you scared of chihuahas, huh, Dean?” But Sam still hikes his sheet up under his chin when he hears scuffling under their window between sleep. 

There’s remnants of the house’s past inhabitants still scattered around the place. Sam had stood and slid two inches on the wheels of a tiny replica car that had been jammed under the couch the second day they arrived, piffed it at his brother’s head, who’d caught it, exclaimed that it was Camero, dude, treat her with some respect and had sat it on top of the fridge. 

The bookshelf in the corner of their shared bedroom holds mostly dust and tattered occult books stolen from libraries from all over the country, left by hunters who have found what they’ve needed and moved on. There are a few of the worst Stephen King novels shoved haphazardly on the top shelf and Sam finds something funny in that, the irony in enjoying bad horror when the real deal lurks behind the screen door. 

Dean gives him a look when Sam pulls down and cracks open a copy of The Tommyknockers, snorts, “Haven’t you read that one already?” and Sam says, tucking himself into bed, “Yeah, it fucking sucks, King was royally off his head while writing it, that’s why it’s so good.” Sam finishes three quarters of it in one sitting while listening to Dean’s quiet snores from the other side of the room. 

It’s a ten minute drive to the closest town, an off the highway, invisible to the outside world, kind of one-street community. No reason to take the exit if you don’t already know it’s there, one store, one gas station, one bar in an old brick post office building, unfitting, the carpet pulled up at the corners but home to the best fries Sam has ever had in his life. 

Sam follows Dean out to the courtyard, neither of them are legally old enough to drink but there’s nothing else to do but to get respectably drunk in a place like this, anyone that has lived long enough in the true country is some kind of functioning alcoholic, so Dean orders a beer and isn’t asked for ID. In a town small enough for everyone to know every intricate detail in the threads of dirty laundry, they are foreigners. No one knows where they’re from or where they’re going and Sam knows that Dean likes it that way.

It’s never been a secret that Sam prefers to feel like he has a part in everyday normalcy. Dean thrives under anonymity, gets a kick out of it because it makes him feel dangerous. He had stopped accompanying Sam to school two states ago, a silent agreement with their father when Dean had come home early and helped John cut splits into the tips of bullets instead. Like hell I’m signing up for compulsory extra curricular activities. What’s the point in making friends with people whose biggest concerns are the answers to whatever bullshit test and who fucked who last Friday? 

Finding comfort in a nine-to-five kind of community is a flaw Sam’s been burdened to deal with. 

It’s early afternoon, the courtyard is empty and the table they chose rocks on its legs every time Dean slides his drink over for Sam to share. It’s bitter and Sam hasn’t had enough beer in his life to know if it’s supposed to be like that or if it has just soured from the long journey it took to get from the brewery to their glass. He drinks it and doesn’t grimace because his brother is looking at him through the rays of warm country sun. 

“Tastes like piss, huh,” Dean says, leaning forward out of the light so Sam can see him clearly again. He takes back the glass. 

“S’not that bad,” Sam replies, rubbing the leftover condensation into his hand, doesn’t look at Dean, finds it hard these days, twists in his gut all wrong. Sam knows why. 

His brother hums, “There’s gotta be something else to do around here.”

Sam thinks, Dad’s left the car, we can go wherever we want, but doesn’t say it because his brother is loyal to a disastrous fault. 

That’s a recurring thought. Sam in the shotgun seat, his brother behind the wheel, driving away. Just away, to someplace else and they’d be okay because they’d have each other and all Sam ever needs is his brother, like water. But John will be back in two weeks, term starts again in a month and he needs his father to sign the enrollment forms. Two more years. 

“You see the old dredge outside of town?” Sam asks, remembers passing it when they arrived, all twisted, rusting metal, the bones of it against the setting sun.

“What did I tell you about respecting your elders?”

“You told me that they all smell like porridge and are easily susceptible to sleight of hand. No, Dean, Dredge,” Sam stresses. “Big rusty old machine that pulls minerals out of water.”

“Looking to strike big, Sammy?”

“Yeah, you see, my family is poor, brother at home too dumb to get a job. Our father went to get milk and never came back,” Sam sniffs for effect. “I can’t go home empty handed again, sir.” 

“Ah, a real sob story,” Dean nods in understanding, tips his head back and finishes the beer. “Let’s get out there then, sonny. We shan't let that simpleton, downright fool of a brother go hungry.” Dean jabs Sam in the ribs when he stands, hard enough for him to gasp, gets Sam’s head under his arm before he can recover. Sam claws embarrassingly at his brother’s torso, face pressed warm into the side of Dean’s waist. 

“I will pray for us young Samuel, for I too, dream of riches,” his brother is exclaiming, tripping them out and onto the street. “I only ask that we share whatever bounty dredged as I saw the most exquisite pony a few miles back and I simply must have it.”

And Sam thinks - with his flushed cheek hard against Dean’s skin through the thin sweaty fabric of his shirt, heart beating too fast against his ribs in a way that has nothing to do with exhaustion - you can have it all. 

---

Sam’s brother’s perpetual state of being is ten miles over the speed limit; this can be applied to almost every aspect of him. Dean goes and goes and rarely stops. They’re pushing double that out of town, north of their property, into the forever stretch of flat land and Sam loses himself in it. That idea of away, of going and going and that Dean could take him because he’s an expert in the field. 

The Impala blasts Born To Be Wild and Sam imagines the lyrics spreading out over the dry grass. He rolls the window down and throws his head out, trying his best to keep his eyes open against the road’s wind. The sun beats down, warmth soaking through and into his bones and Sam laughs as the cattle turn to catch a glimpse of them soaring. 

Dean pulls him in, tugs at the back of his shirt, says something along the lines of, what are you, a dog? Should get you a shock collar for all the times you’re a little bitch, but Sam can’t hear him over the roaring of the open window and the look of transparent glee on Dean’s face, it’s loud and assaulting and Sam has to turn away because seeing Dean like that wobbles him dangerously from the nonchalant facade he has going on in relation to how he feels about his brother. But mostly his face hurts from smiling too wide.

Used as a warm up last year. Boyking!Sam

He thinks he’s in Louisiana, maybe. That he got here in the tray of a pickup and that he couldn’t feel the wind in his hair like maybe he should. The driver had stopped for a piss-break and Sam had snapped his neck without his hands.

He rubs them together now, tries to feel guilty but there’s nothing to feel guilty about because his hands are clean; he doesn’t have to use them anymore. 

Sam thinks he’s in Louisiana because he stepped out of the truck and into a wet kind of heat. There’s a church with thick greenery growing over the roof and white wood that’s been mold-blackened by the humidity. He laughs to the darkness because it's very funny to him that he’s driven himself subconsciously to a place of grace. 

He skips up the steps, two at a time, gleefully. The smell of the bayou and rotting wood has put him in a good mood. The lock snaps when he blinks, the chain unraveling and snaking into a coil at his feet. The doors open for him and maybe he did that with his mind too, or maybe they were just expecting him. 

The church has been used recently, its interior better kept than the outside, bibles tucked neatly in the backs of pews, ribbons tied into plaits. The white of the moon falls in blankets through the windows, shadows of leaves moving over the floor like rippling water and the bust of Mother Mary prays for him at the altar. 

Sam spreads his arms and addresses her, says to the room at large, “Shall I repent for my sins, oh Lord?” and it echoes, gives him goosebumps, a current under his skin. He has an audience here because God is omnipresent, this is a place of worship and Sam has always been good at that. 

A church in Louisiana, standing before a plaster of his mother’s namesake in a church for a God he used to think could have some defying factor in a destiny that was always going to be concrete. It’s funny, blatantly. Sam puts his hands gently to Mary’s cold face, kisses her on her lips before crushing her head, spraying ceramic. 

Sam stands behind the lectern, hands red with his own blood now, sticking the pages of the Good Book. He’s read it before anyway. 

“Am I to be forgiven?” 

Last is a casefic I had planned out in 2019. I didn’t get very far into the actual writing part of it, but I still think the setting is cool, less so the plot I had in mind. 

Just outside of Bridgeport, Connecticut there’s a community built on a sandbar. A small secluded semi-island, connected to the mainland by a mile-long beachfront. A town of forty to fifty now abandoned, vandalised residences.

The police find the bodies of the boys there, bleeding out and into the sand, each other’s skin caught under their fingernails. 

Sam watches as his brother pulls the sheet back from one of the corpses, laying blue on the steel morgue tray. He’s a kid, a boy, not even eighteen. Hairless, lanky, multiple stab wounds puckered around his belly and Sam thinks he does not look peaceful for someone who is meant to be at rest. 

Dean is quieter than usual, his body language stiff. They’ve seen their fair share of dead kids but Sam thinks that this one might look a little too much like an adolescent version of himself. Shaggy brown hair, too long limbs, college on the horizon. Sam blankets the sheet back over the boy’s face and hears his brother exhale in what he thinks might be relief.

The coroner tells them that the other two are the same, besides the youngest one. He’d been blinded, thumbs pushed through his eyes until they popped like grapes. He asks if they want to see him too and Sam says no, thank you, we’ve got what we need.

Which is a whole lot of nothing, but they’ve only just arrived and there’s evidence that doesn’t involve corpses that needs to be checked.

“Pussied out in there huh, Sammy?” Dean says as they’re walking down the funeral home’s front steps, past the manicured roses and trimmed lawn. You see these perfect hedges? We’ll treat your dead mother with the same detailed care!

Sam pulls at his tie and scoffs because he knows he wasn’t the only one uncomfortable standing in the morgue; cases that involve kids always rub them both wrong.

[hajimine]

LEX’S 2020 APPRECIATION POST PT. II !

— to the lovely moots & followers who i talk to quite often (or pretty much everyday), this one’s for you.

thank u for being in my life, you made my 2020 so so much better. i’m so grateful october lex decided to make a tumblr acc 🥲

i’ll try my best to keep it kinda short 🥲👍

in alphabetical order:

@4fterh0urs — my omega phoebe 😩‼️ ily so much bc you’re both extremely stupid n extremely smart at the same time. u mean so much to me and i love talking to u even if u call me such weird as nicknames every damn day 😃 you’re so sexy n hella intimidating smfh idk how i was able to make u my bitch (JK PLS DONT KILL MEE) anyways, thanks for being a real one bae + you’re the person i block the most, so you’re special ig 😹👍 ily you’re actually such a sap but u pretend to be all tough heh <33

@archivednikes — my solar system, my wh*re (lovingly) hi bae 😣 ok yk how much i love u but. im gonna tell u again: ILYSM!! OKAY??? please know that you’re such an amazing human being and you’re SO incredibly talented. god i love u so much please take care of yourself baby, you’re always so kind to other people and i hope you can do the same to yourself. once again, i am so fucking glad you decided to slide into my inbox that day, because now i look forward to talking to you every single morning. insert grabby hands ilysm <33

@boosyboo9206 — onyx hi babes! i’m so so grateful for you omg u dont even know it. you always manage to cheer me up with your antics and you’re always here to support me 🥺 whenever i’m down you somehow aways manage to make me feel a lil better. i love talking to u whether it’s about sth as mundane as the weather or even your obsession with the word peepers. thank you for being you, please take care of yourself and stop sleeping so damn late. ilysm <33

@ch4jime — chloe bae!! 😁 hi omg ilysm you’re so cute and cool and nice urghh thanks for always checking up on me! i love love seeing you in my asks, you’re such a lovely person to be around. i seriously need to be better at dropping in other people’s inbox, so just know that i’ll work on hanging out on your blog more often this year bc ily! i wish u all the best and please never stop being you baby mwah <33

@fairyoomi — hi bae 😣😣 how are u?? i know we don’t talk much anymore, and that’s okie, but i still wanna write u this lil note because i’m so thankful i met you here on tumblr. you’re an amazing writer and u were so sweet to me even when i was a teeny blog who didn’t know anyone. i admire u a lot, yknow? thanks for being such a friendly and welcoming person, ily <33

@gu3to — mochi bestieo 🙀 idk if you’ll even see this smh so i’m just gonna text u after this (if i don’t forget to rip) okay so. hello?! you’re so mf cool and you’re a trendsetter 🤩 yes yes im fueling your god complex it’s bc ily smh. you’re so dumb i wanna choke u sometimes but i won’t bc i’m also just as dumb 😁 pls stop disappearing from the face of the Earth okay ilysm you always keep it real and i know i can always count on u to listen to uh... my shit. okay so when are we gonna make out? 🤨 oki bye <33

@hoekageyama — wifey!! maddie baby urghh yk how much i love you, you’re one of my earliest moots im pretty sure? and aaaaa i’m so so glad i decided to be weird as hell and slide into your asks that day (pancreas. sighs. iconic.) you’re my numero uno whenever i wanna bark about hot 2d boys and what i’d let em do to me coughs err yea hehe. please take care of yourself baby you’re such a sweet and kind and loving person and i’m so glad to have you in my life. smh we text each other lovey dovey texts anyway but i still wanna do this for u 😋 ilysm!!! <33

@honeyskawa — lani baby hi! i know you haven’t been super active lately, but i just wanna tell u that i appreciate u so so much!! you honestly made my goddamn week when u sent me that ask about how i inspired you bc what the heck?? never in my life have i expected to have such an impact on someone. you’re a wonderful writer honestly. i love u so much and i hope everything’s going well baby, i’m excited talk to u more whenever you decide to be active on tumblr again <33

@jougogo — kaybae hi!!! you haven’t been on tumblr much lately but hi sexc it’s me lex lol i’ve moved accs hehe 😎 i hope u see this whenever u get your phone back cries. you’re such an amazing person to be around, always so cheerful and friendly, you exude so much positive vibes and ilysm. you always manage to lift up the mood with your sexc self and i admire u for that. you’re so incredibly chaotic and fun to be around ahrgehxhh i appreciate u sm and i hope you’re taking care of yourself bby ily <33

@kemochie — my waluigi, my favorite f*rry, hi 😝 urghhh god we just started talking everyday pretty recently but god. you’re so funny??? and i love bullying u bc u give me so much material to bully u with (ok jkjk i love u that’s why i bully u smh) also, you’re so incredibly supportive and u were actually the one who pushed me to finally post that atsumu fic, even tho stupid me accidentally deleted it LMAOBSBD anw, u bring sm joy in my life, so thank u for that. we’re a small lil filf and you’re the milf to my dilf LMAO ilysm mwah!! <33

@kenmaki — gabbae! virgo bestie!! hi hi !! you’re such a talented person and you’re an amazing writer, and i hope one day u can get past your insecurities and see yourself as the wonderful person u truly are. i love how we were able to relate to each from how similar virgos think + our initial conversation of dick measurements and such will forever be seared into my memory. and congrats on getting a daily railing on the dash HSBDH i don’t look at em i promise lol 🤩🤩 jdbdhdh ilysm bby <33

@miyams — ren sweet babie hi! you’re so incredibly talented please don’t listen to stupid hate anons. i’ll stab them with a serrated knife if i have to 😠🔪 you’re so flippin cute and sweet i love talking to you, and i love love love whenever u come by my inbox to say hi. i hope we can talk even more in 2021, my dms and asks are always open for u bby (even though i suck at replying right away, sorry abt that huhu) i love u sm baby please take care of yourself <33

@miyasangel — ardie bae 😜 hi sexc!! i still cant believe we talk like everyday now lmaoo i used to think you’re so freaking cool (i still do) and now i’m friends w u whattaheck 🥲 you’re such an amazing writer wtf. i hate that we had to start our friendship on such a sour note (ehem discord ehem) but i’m really glad it brought us closer together. ily cockarden i’ll be sure to bully u even more HAHAGS IM JK makes out w u so hard bc you’re so damn hot ily 😣‼️ <33

@owlywrites — owly baby hello! ily so so much and you’re so talented, you deserve so much recognition. i hope i can read more of your fics soon bc they’re so well written ugh 😣 thanks for always checking up on me and always being so incredibly sweet. i love u so so muchhh huhu i wanna give u the biggest hug in the world :( please take care of yourself and never stop being your genuine self kith kith <33

@rilacry — milfy gorlillola 😜😜‼️ hi sexc. omfg i was so intimidated by u wtf (and i still kinda am smh) bc you’re so cool?? and your writing n carrd making skills are amazing as hell wtf. u just exude BDE bc you’re hella hot AND bc u wanna peg everyone. anyways,, i’m glad we got closer recently, even if it was out of really wack circumstances. ily bae pls stop sticking your memojis everywhere mwah <33

@rintaroll — my kue tete ���️☹️ ilysm smh bye i can’t believe we’re close now wtf you’ve always been so cool and sexc 😩‼️ oh god i rmb when u were still on your old acc and u seemed so out of reach and i was a lil intimidated ANDBDJD SHHH but yea now ik you’re just a big h word dork and i love u for that 😣 i wish u all the best for your singing career bby you’re such a talented writer AND singer wtf. also you’re so pretty???? wtf how rude 😠 JKJK HAHHSBD ilysm kithes u so hard <33

@tetsoleil — geegee!! hi baby 😣 thanks for being such a sweet human being ily! it’s been a while since we actually talked yeah? but i still want u to know that i love u a lot and i appreciate u so much. i’m so so grateful you’re in my life because you’re such a joy to be around. you’re an amazing writer bby and i hope you get the recognition u deserve. i’m always here for u if u need anything. ilysm bby <33

@velvetfireworks — rachie bae 🤩 my bakso goreng, my golden kiwi!!! ily!! hehe im so glad i decided to slide in your dms when u asked me if i was indo. but ahhhh you’re ao sweet and cute and supportive ilysm. an amaaazing writer and i admire your work so much, but i think you’ve heard me say that multiple times before. i’m so glad we became closer recently through our love for greasy food and wonky lil faces 👁💋👁 kith kith ilysm <33

@yato-o — yato baby hi!! urgh honestly i appreciate u so so much?? i feel so lucky to be able to get to know you. i don’t even remember how we met but ahhh thank u for always stopping by and have a chat with me even though i know you’re a busy person. please take care of yourself and get some rest whenever u need to! don’t feel pressured to come on here if you’re tired baby, im so grateful to have u in my life, i luv youu <33

HAPPY NEW YEAR YOU SEXY BAES!

kisses, lex

[donaidk]

Rhythm of Time - Part II

Happy New Years everyone! Wanted to get at least one more part out before the end of the year 🤪 so here it is, before I get back to the other two in the works. Next one will probably be a bit more action filled, but I just wanted to let you guys into the background story behind the main character, for now 😉

As always, every kind of feedback is appreciated ❤️ Thanks for reading!

Part I | You’re here | Part III | ...

Getting back from the winter break was a lot more exciting this time. Knowing that I will have a bigger role in the team’s life meant I couldn’t wait to finally get back to them. For example pre-season testing was usually not the most interesting part of the season, I still felt like it was the biggest event of the year. I knew it would just get better with the races, but at that second it was everything I was hoping for. I couldn’t even care less about having to work with Mick, as it felt like I was floating over cloud nine because of the few days I got to work in a position that gave me so much control. The only thing I hoped for was it not getting into my head too much. No one really needed me acting like a bitch who knew she could easily break someone’s online character before getting kicked off the team. Mick was a tad bit lucky that I wasn’t truly angry at him.

Travelling to Australia made everything seem even more real as I had to manage all the press day activities even before we got to the country. I knew it won’t be easy work, but I was still looking forward to it and was able to do everything with a smile staying on my face as I actually enjoyed planning everything and not just looking at the plans someone else put together. That was fun too, and the only way you can learn, but after experiencing what it’s like to manage everything myself I would have never changed it back to the original setup. Only if it was the only way to fix a horrible situation.

Arriving at the hotel I knew it would be a night full of turning and tossing as my excitement over the top for the whole flight and car ride to the hotel. I tried having a shower so I could calm down my mind, but as soon as I met up with the team again it just started racing all around the space in my head. We had a little meeting about the next few days in Mick’s room, before everyone called it a night and returned to their rooms. As I wanted to still ask about some of his preferences I stayed with him, as he was packing out a little from his suitcases. I was now just watching him after noting down his answers for my probably dumb questions.

„ Do you usually pack out even for just a few days? ” I asked curiously and saw as his movements stopped for a moment. Thinking about it he probably didn’t expect a question that wasn’t about something professional after what we just went through.

„ Yeah, usually. It feels more organized. ” He shrugged a little, getting out some more t-shirts as I realised I should probably leave. It wasn’t something that strangers should watch you do. At least that’s how I felt like. Just as I was about to stand up and leave he spoke up again. „ Are you comfortable with working next to me? Working with me? ” He asked, still looking only at his clothes.

„ Why wouldn’t I be? ” I asked back immediately before I could have thought about it. If I had waited just a second longer I would have realised what he’s talking about. Or more like implying. „ When I told you I’m over it, I meant it. I would never say something like that without it being the truth. ” I shook my head gently, still standing up from the chair because I felt like it would be better if I leave after this is over.

„ I know, or more like I hoped so. It just feels shitty to know that I acted that way and now you’re almost forced into working with me. ” He sighed, finally turning to me, although his fingers were still fiddling with one of his sweaters. „ I just know that this is still fun and games but will be a lot harder as the season goes on. I just want to make sure that we’re okay and that you know I can be trusted, even if I fucked up in the past. ” He let go of the cotton, coming closer to me but just as my breathing would have stopped from his proximity, he sat down on his bed.

„ Quite literally, yeah? ” I tried joking with him, but as soon as his expression changed I knew it wasn’t the best decision. „ Hey, I was just joking, we’re okay. I have never thought of you as someone who’s irresponsible just because you did something most teenagers do at least once in their life. ” I shook my head, still smiling so he could be sure that I meant what I said.

„ I know most people take part in it at least once, but I have never been like them. I can’t really be like them ever. Still I don’t want to be treated better than how they would be. ” He sounded anxious and I felt like he wanted me to be mad at him, because he thought he wouldn’t deserve how I treated him.

„ I don’t give a shit about who you are. ” I blatantly told him, probably stopping his rambling. „ I’m not mad at you, because you did nothing wrong. If you would do something stupid and would have treated me wrng while we were together, you wouldn’t like to be in the same room as me. Your name couldn’t have saved you from my fury. ” I shrugged looking him straight in the eyes so he would finally understand and accept the situation. „ The only thing I want you to do is to forget about it finally. The quicker we stop talking about it, the less awkward situations we’re gonna have in the future. '' I added as a last thing, so we could fully close this chapter of our life.

„ Understood. Never bringing it back up again. ” He let out a sigh but was finally accompanied by a smile on his face. I was about to stand up and leave finally, when his expressions changed again and I knew he will speak up. „ When did you change your name? ” He asked, making my eyebrows furrow as for a second I didn’t understand his question.

„ Oh… a little after we met. After my birthday. ” I answered, but felt like it was the perfect moment to leave, before we would go too far with this topic. „ It’s my mum’s. Felt more comfortable living with this one. ” I shrugged a little, as I got to his door and opened it so I could finally leave. I quickly wished him a goodnight before turning towards my own room and crossed the hallway to get to it in just seconds.

The next few days still felt awkward, even more because of him bringing up my dad in a way, but I tried to get over it and hoped he wouldn’t ask a lot more about the person I always tried to close off from my life. Even if I could never fully accomplish my plan as he would still be my father and he will be connected to me in a way forever. Luckily with the race weekends time seemed to fly by at 5 times speed and forgetting was a lot easier when you had to focus on your job and tasks. We were already at the fifth circuit when I realised that we finally got over our past and could have conversations without even touching onto it.

As for racing, Mick was doing quite well. He was still deemed new to the F1 cars and the other drivers, but he took on the challenges and did his best. We all knew he won’t be winning the championship this year, also with a Haas car, although we never really talked about this in front of Günther, but he still pushed it to the limit and got everything out of it. Sometimes he asked for more than what it had, but he always caught it in time and got it under control, before anything could have happened. I was mostly just happy that my job only involved the outside world, and not the one inside the cockpit. My nerves could barely handle watching the races now that I knew someone quite personally from the grid. I knew most of the drivers and had talked to them on several occasions, but I never really got close to them. Mick was really something else compared to them, as I spent almost everyday following him, and we never really stayed silent as we attended interviews one by one before and also after practices, qualis and races too. I could say that I did not feel regret when I thought about my decision I took just a couple of months ago.

Even when we arrived in Spain at the beginning of the week, and realised how hot it will be on the weekend, I did not regret having to walk around the paddock almost 24/7 for three days in a row. I wasn’t the only one affected by the heat wave as everyone in the garage moved around slower than usual. They mostly got themselves together for Sunday, as I was quite surprised to see the speed at which everyone was running around when we entered after all the interviews were done. While Mick had to go get ready I took a seat next to the engineers and let everyone else work around us while I took one of the headsets so I wouldn’t lose my hearing this soon.

„ Everything good? ” Pete, Mick’s engineer asked from next to me, as he turned towards me with the headset pushed off of one of his ears.

„ Yeah, he’s doing well. Composed but still confident, whatever they ask him. ” I nodded a little, while I almost blindly got the team profile open so I could make sure it was up to date. „ Is she already here? ” I asked back, knowing that Corinna wanted to attend today’s GP to support Mick.

„ Yes, I saw her talking to Günther but she tried to stay away from the garage. She probably wants Mick to focus on the job and not her. ” He shrugged a little, looking back at the screens in front of him when someone from the mechanic crew came up to him with a question.

Mick was already in the car, seconds away from leaving the garage when his mum showed up. She still stayed in the background until they were given the sign and both cars could enter the pitlane. I sent her a small smile when she passed me, giving up my seat gladly, so she could watch the race and be close to the radio, as I was completely fine with watching it on the screens that were set up for the mechanics. I didn’t really get to talk to her yet since the start of the season, but she seemed kind and I looked up to her for coming to races, even after everything that happened to their family. It meant a lot to her son, every time she came out to support him. Even I could tell, seeing it from the outside.

Both of the Haas cars took the start perfectly, taking up better positions for most of the lap before they all started fighting each other. After the first few laps I went to get myself a coffee, before sitting back down in the garage out of the way as I didn’t really want to block the mechanics if there was going to be a pit-stop or anything. They were just about to call both of them in when we saw Mick spin at turn 10, sliding off the track into the gravel trap, right until the tyre barrier caught the car. My hand stopped in the middle of lifting the mug to my lips, as I watched him crash and hoped that they would show him getting out of the car as soon as possible. I let out the breath that was stuck inside my lungs when I heard Pete talking to him as it meant he was fine enough to communicate. I immediately felt pathetic about my reaction and tried to just slip into the background before someone would spot the worry on my face I was experiencing inside.

Turning towards the engineers I saw Corinna shift in her seat uncomfortably, probably listening to Mick explaining what happened. It wasn’t a horrible crash but there was always a possibility for injuries whenever they hit each other or the barriers. We watched relieved as he finally climbed out and left the car with the marshals, and got onto a golf cart that brought him back to the garage. He was checked out by the team doctor as soon as he got back and was fortunately cleared by him for any serious injury. I let Corinna talk to him before I would bring up having to talk to the reporters.

I only went into his room when the race ended and I knew we would have to leave for the media pen if we wanted to be on time. He was already changed back to team clothing with a little ice pack on his left wrist while holding his phone in his other hand. I cleared my throat to get his attention and he immediately looked up at me, before pushing himself off the bed. I let him leave the garage hallway first, following him as we aimed for the people already standing around the cameras.

„ You only have two. If you feel dizzy or anything just let me know and we can leave immediately. Everyone will understand. ” I told him when I caught up to him. I always hated how I was almost running next to everyone if they were walking at their normal speed, thanks to my shorter legs.

„ I’m fine. ” He answered shortly, looking mostly at the ground in embarrassment. He didn’t seem happy, and I knew that his mood probably won’t change for the day.

He still forced a small smile onto his face when we got to the pen and he held it right until he answered the last question. I was proud of him for how he held himself together even though I knew inside he was angry at himself and how the day went. I followed him back to the garage, being the first one to enter so I could get my things from inside. I waited for him to get his backpack and we left together.

„ What a shitshow of a race it was. ” He let out a sigh as we were walking through the paddocks, towards the parking lot. „ And in front of my mum… ” He added with a sigh, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

„ Everyone crashes once in a while. Corinna was probably just happy to see you get out of there. ” I shook my head a little looking up at him. „ There’s always next week when you can try again. ” I added, trying to lift his spirits even though I knew it probably won’t help.

We were just about to get into the car when someone called my name from behind us, and I knew from just the voice who it was. Stepping away from the door I motioned for Mick to get in so they could leave before my dad caught up to us. I let out a sigh as I watched the car leave and I turned back to see my dad just seconds away from reaching me. I really wasn’t in the mood to talk to him, although I couldn’t remember the last time I felt like talking to him for longer than exchanging a quick ’hi’. Somehow I felt like this won’t be a simple conversation about me getting a real job or about how my siblings are. It was never that straightforward with him.