#every time i try to use blender it feels like this
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Be careful what you wish for
Pairing: reader x rio vidal
Trigger warning: body shamming, self harm, suicide attempt, hate self (if you find more, pls let me know)
English is not my first language, etc etc etc. I don't know how to write romance very well either, but I tried. besides, I'm sure I exaggerated the amount of "you" written. I hope you like the story
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You are tired of the daily humiliations and an unhappy life, you want to die. Luckily, a certain Lady Death has a few things to say about your life.
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You come home tired every day. Tired of the humiliations at work, of having to report every mistake made by employees, of your boss yelling at you, all for a mere minimum wage.
You even asked for a salary increase, but he laughed in your face. A promotion would mean that you would have to present yourself to the shareholders and he couldn't allow that, you know why; to get ahead in life, you need to have the right weight and the right face. You don't have that. You know it, your parents know it and your boss knows it, because he looks you up and down, while denying all your dreams.
"But you are a good employee, who knows next year?" he says before you leave. You feel the humiliation run through your veins.
Yes, next year. If your size "L" becomes "XS", if you put on contact lenses and don't wear glasses, if you do facial harmonization. Yes, you have a chance.
Your colleagues don't like you either. They focus on your appearance and the fact that you're too shy and introverted. They've never invited you to Happy Hour after work, or to one of their birthdays either; you don't like drinking, but you've always wanted to fit in.
You decide you don't care. But the truth is that you care so much that it's hurt so bad, and you need to do something to stop this pain.
You also get tired of your parents asking for money or wanting to get a boyfriend to you, never asking how you are or coming to visit you. You get tired of not having friends, or anyone to lean on. You get tired of life.
You sigh as you change your clothes. You always wear long-sleeved shirts and jeans. You don't want anyone to see how ugly you are... inside and out.
You look at yourself in the mirror, only in your underwear. You analyze the cuts on your skin, everywhere you can reach, you made a lot of cuts, especially on your arms and thighs; some are older, most are recent, leaving blood stains on the clothes you wore.
Your reflection stares back at you, looking amused. You hug yourself, trying to hide from your own gaze, but to no avail. You feel dirty, your sagging skin falling apart in tour hands.
In a world where there are Avengers, supreme wizards, witches, heroes and villains, you feel like nothing. You are nobody.
With no desire at all, you take a shower, using a sponge forcefully on your body, as if that would wash away all the extra pounds. Your hard movement causes the fresh cuts to reopen and you see blood going down the drain along with the soap and water. You are numb.
You remember the ways to calm down your therapist taught you, but they don't work. They never did.
When you see your sleeping pills, you decide that this suffering is no longer worth it. You are not worth it. This will be the first and last time you put yourself first.
You won't leave any letters or explanations, it's not necessary. No one will miss you.
You gather all the medicines you can find and put them in the blender along with the alcohol, there's no going back. You know won't be, you don't want to go back.
No amount of stomach pumping will solve it, in case some gossipy neighbor decides to help you. You've made sure of that.
You need peace. If what's necessary for that is for you to face death, you'll do it with a smile on your face.
You put on the first pajamas you find and drink the entire contents of the glass, grimacing and choking as the liquid burns your throat.
Finally, you lie down on your bed one last time, ready for a dreamless sleep, and then, never to wake up again.
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You opened your eyes, still groggy, and found a vision. A woman in a black robe stared at you. You just thought she was beautiful.
Y/N doesn't believe in God; But if there is an afterlife, you always thought you would be punished for killing yourself. At the very least, you are at the Valley of Suicides, and would suffer in mourning for ages. Either that, or you would go to hell.
However, looking at this woman in front of you, you thought you were in paradise.
The figure softened her expression, smiling a little bit, as if she had heard your thoughts, but soon closed herself off.
"Why did you do that?" she asked you, worried.
Y/N couldn't understand where she was or who that woman was... Maybe she was a neighbor? She thinks she's never seen you in her life, but her vision betrays you, completely blurred.
"I didn't mean to," you answered automatically, not used to someone talking to you for more than five minutes.
The woman didn't believe you. Rio saw your arms and the scarred cuts, but chose not to comment; she didn't want to scare you.
It wasn't the first time Rio had been called to a death by suicide and it certainly wouldn't be the last, but you were intriguing. Usually the others had someone by their side, but you were alone. She didn't want to leave you like this, not when you looked so fragile.
"Who are you?" Your conscience was leaving you, but you wanted to understand.
"I'm Lady Death , my dear." Rio approached you. "I'm here, because you called me."
Was that supposed to make sense? No coherent thought was going through your mind, the various medicines you had swallowed doing their job.
"Am I still alive?" You asked rhetorically, before your body shut down from the pressure.
Rio sighed, wondering where she had gotten herself into.
As the natural order of all things, she could simply heal you and leave, but that wouldn't solve anything. Death can't heal someone's psyche; and once your senses returned, you would try to kill yourself again. Rio couldn't let that happen. She would help you, even if it meant saving you from yourself.
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For weeks, Rio healed your stomach and your injuries a little at a time, and you were getting better, with no more risk of complications because of it in the future.
She would make you food, wake you up and help you to eat, staying with you until you fell asleep again, your body still very weak.
She started to notice you more, how you slept peacefully, the dimples that formed on your face when you smiled, or how your eyes looked at her curiously, even though you couldn't hold a coherent conversation for long.
You don't remember any of this. Your consciousness came and gone the whole time.
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Until one day, you woke up completely lucid. On autopilot, you went to get ready for work and saw yourself in the mirror. You were horrified when you remembered...
You...were alive? You're not even good enough to kill yourself, my God! How is that possible?
You wanted to scream, throw yourself off the building, hit your head hard against the wall until blood came out, anything. You were confused, your mind was all jumbled up. You had planned everything!! Did someone save you??? Why would someone do this?
You were going to puke. You ran to the bathroom, trying to hold on to the walls, shaking. You needed to calm down. You needed to understand what was happening.
The easiest thing to calm you down was your old friend; but when you made the first cut, you noticed that all the others were missing.
No. No. NO!
This can't be happening. It's a nightmare, right? A medication-induced nightmare. Soon it will all pass and you will be dead. Just as it should be.
Meanwhile, you made all the cuts you could, your hand shaking more and more. It didn't work, you hadn't calmed down.
You got up with unsteady steps and went to the kitchen, looking for a knife. You couldn't find one. You also didn't notice the presence behind you, until she spoke to you, her tone mild.
"You need to stop this, Y/N."
Rio was collecting some bodies from the other side of the world, when she felt a tug towards you. You needed her. She hoped it wasn't too late.
"Leave me alone," you shouted, feeling your eyes water. Rio tried to get closer to you, but you backed away. It took you a while to remember who she was, but the clothes she was wearing helped. Death... you almost didn't believe it. You felt betrayed. The only being you thought would truly welcome you with open arms took everything you had; including your reminders.
"You... You saved me," you accused her. Rio had the decency to look guilty. "You took away my free will, you healed me without my permission! You hurt me more than anyone else, you took everything I had." Y/N cried freely now. Tears blurred her vision.
Rio knew what you were talking about. It hurt her that you felt that way. She never wanted to hurt you, only to help you. Lady Death wished she had permission to kill everyone who hurt you throughout your life.
"You don't need them, Y/N." Rio still spoke softly, you could barely hear her.
"Why do you care?"
"I... I fell in love with you." Rio admitted what she had been thinking for days. At some point while taking care of you, she fell in love. Death had never loved anyone before.
Y/N stared at her, motionless. Then, she laughed.
"Is this some kind of joke?" she asked when she caught her breath. Rio shook her head. "Some kind of dirty game between the cosmic entities to attract the weak human's attention?" Rio shook her head once more.
"Seriously, look at me," you shouted, not understanding.
And Rio looked at you. Even with your face red from crying so much, even with the fresh cuts and so much self-loathing, Death found you beautiful.
"I'm looking at," Rio whispered. His heart heavy with your suffering.
"No!" Y/N thought Rio didn't understand. "Look at me!," you shouted with contempt this time. "How can someone like you fall for something like this?" you pointed to yourself.
Rio saw you, she understood you more than you remember. You talked a few times, even with the loose and incoherent words, Death heard you. And she was saddened by every word you said. With the self-loathing that society forced upon you at every step of your life.
Vidal didn't know how to calm you down, so she did the only thing that came to her mind at the moment. She ran to you, grabbed your face and kissed you on the mouth.
It was just a light brush of lips. Rio wanted to show you that she liked you, but you hadn't stopped talking. She wanted you to listen now.
"I see you, S/N" the woman in front of you tried to wipe away your tears, in vain. They kept coming freely. "I see you and I understand you" you found yourself relaxing your face towards the hand that caressed you. "I want to kill all those idiots who once hurt you, because you, Y/N Y/S, are an incredible woman. And not a "it thing", I am sure".
You wanted to complain, but Rio didn't let you. She wasn't finished.
"S/N, you're so sweet, so selfless, you have such a good heart" Rio continued. "Never believe anyone who tells you otherwise, because you are beautiful. Beautiful inside and out. Your life is worth living" by the look she gave you, you saw the truth in her eyes. She truly believed the words she said, even if you didn't. "I think you are the prettiest girl in the world, and The Death doesn't lies, sweetie".
Y/N couldn't answer, your body gave out and you passed out. Rio caught you before you fell and carried you to your bed.
"It's okay, my love" Rio whispered, kissing you on the forehead "I can be strong for both of us, until you make it"
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You woke up completely healed. Rio would leave you alone now, if you wish. It would break her heart, but she wanted you happy.
You didn't need to look around to know she was still there.
"Are you ever going to leave?" You stood up, sitting up.
"Only if you want to" Rio approached you, this time you didn't back away, but you didn't answer her.
With the physical healing, you began to remember the previous weeks and found yourself enjoying her presence; the moments you spent together. A smile escaped your lips and it did not go unnoticed by Rio.
"May I?" Vidal pointed to the space next to you and you nodded. You felt the bed sink with the new weight, and you looked down at your hands; you were suddenly embarrassed, very aware of yesterday's closeness.
"Thank you," you thanked, realizing that the cuts from yesterday were still present on your skin.
Rio nodded. "I apologize for before, I shouldn't have done that without your permission, if they were important to you."
Rio didn't apologize for saving your life. That, she didn't regret it for a second. She would do it again if she had to, but Rio really hoped it was the first and last time.
Y/N didn't answer, instead asking another question.
"Do you really like me?" You were afraid of the answer, both the "yes" and the "no."
"Yes, I do." That simple sentence made Y/N look into Vidal's soft eyes. You saw the same thing as yesterday: Unconditional love. You still.don't know how it's possible for Death to fall in love with someone like you, "And I want to be with you."
You opened your mouth, but quickly closed it. Everything that had happened to you flashed through your mind.
"The heart doesn't choose who it falls in love with, Y/N." Rio realized that you were afraid of getting hurt again, maybe it would be better to leave you alone.
"You don't have to answer, dear. I won't take up any more of your time." Death stood up, ready to leave and never see you again, if that was what you wanted.
"Wait..." you asked, your voice barely louder than a whisper, "stay." You grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly.
Rio turned around and listened carefully.
"I... I like your company." you continued.
The "I like you too" was still stuck in your throat. You couldn't say it yet, it was too early. Fortunately, Death is a patient being.
"And from what I remember these past few weeks, I had a lot of fun with you," you sighed. "But I can't return your love." You looked at the floor, embarrassed. "I don't know how to love someone or be loved, I don't even know how to love myself."
Rio was silent for a few minutes. Y/N was sure she had lost her chance at happiness.
"Oh, darling," Rio knelt in front of you and caressed your face, softly. You could get used to this every day. "I can teach you to love yourself, like I love you...if you let me. I want to spend my eternity by your side."
Her eyes were so beautiful and bright, you could get lost in their immensity. You could love her over time, you know that. You just have to let yourself.
You nodded slightly and Rio smiled, moving closer.
"May I?" She asked for the second time that day, but this time it was to kiss you. You smiled, taking the initiative now.
It would be a long journey for the two of you, with some ups and downs, but Y/N would never feel hated again. Rio Vidal would kill everyone before they had the chance to hurt you.
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Still thinking about Nikto, and that anon ask I answered just a bit ago.
Content: Dissociation/Depersonalization, Unhealthy (not harmful) Coping Mechanisms, Codependence, Trauma/PTSD symptoms, Sexual Themes
After the hallway incident you’re a bit shaken. A life of a heavy burden, but your shoulders are used to the weight; you’re a medic. But what Nikto offered you in the hallway — no, not offered, but gave, devoted. It makes it hard to breathe.
You’re not sure if what he’s seeking (or perhaps found?) is solace or penance. You don’t think you have much say in the matter really. If God asked His disciples to stop worshipping, would they?
The comparison feels too bold, even in the privacy of your own mind. Smacks of narcissism and ego. You don’t feel powerful. You feel scared. Of what it means to hold this broken, burdened man in the palm of your hand, trying to keep all the pieces together without cutting yourself on them.
Don’t be so careless with your life, you told him.
He’s taken those words as religious creed. He doesn’t storm around corners, guns blazing anymore. Doesn’t drop from heart-stopping heights to stamp-sized targets. Hes not the first one out nor the last one in anymore — though he never lets you get out first or hop in transport last either.
Suppose that shouldn’t be a surprise.
He cares for his wounds now, too. Cleans and changes them regularly, doesn’t over exert them before they’ve healed. You’re so dizzy on pride in him that you kiss the front of his mask one day, telling him “thank you”.
He grunts in something that sounds almost like shock and shakes his head at you. You figure he doesn’t feel he deserves praise for doing as you’ve told him. You do it anyway.
Things start to settle into this new normal.
Until you can’t find him anywhere. He’s become your new shadow, another limb, and suddenly he’s gone like so much smoke. You’re both fresh off a rough, but successful mission. You’ve just finished a stint in the infirmary and your debrief. Usually hed take that time to clean off and change in privacy, back before you could miss him.
Where is he?
You find him bleeding in his room, trying to care for his own wounds. Mask off, shirt gone, a new knife wound added to his macabre collection. You scramble to his side and collapse at his feet, snatching the needle from his shaky, slippery hand.
“Don’t you ever—” you choke on the words, unusual tears welling. You’re a medic; you’re not allowed to cry during treatment. But all you see if Nikto and blood and—
“I am okay,” he says in that low, crackly voice. Gravel in a blender. “It is not bad.”
You swallow and don’t answer, can’t because you’ll start weeping into his wound. Just stitch him up, hands steady even as you sniffle and the rest of you trembles.
When it’s done, you start wiping away the excess, prepping a bandage. He’s so silent you can even hear him breathing, but you feel his eyes like a physical touch. Finally make yourself look up at him meet his piercing eyes.
“You come back to me from now on,” you say. Quiet, firm, fervent. “I don’t care what it is, you return to my side always.”
The silence stretches and stretches, and he just stares with that unfathomable gaze.
“Understand?” you insist.
“Yes.”
Those two commandments become that basis of his new existence. Nikto once thought he survived it all because he still had work to do. He was wrong; it was because he still hadn’t found his purpose at all.
He’s found you now though, and you are a demanding god. But not a cruel one
Your first commandment is atonement. This vessel requires so much work. Food and water and rest. Maintenance for every abrasion, upkeep to stay strong enough to stand at your side, to protect you. It is endless, bitter work. He doesn’t care for the labor itself, but it must be done.
It is made bearable with you.
Your second commandment is salvation. Your quiet chatter during meals, the lingering taste of your mouth on his water canteen. Your kind hands mending tears and holes, keeping whatever he is now whole and hale. Your company in the gym, on sparring mats, at his side at the gun range. The smell of your sweat past the mask, your laughter goading him into another round.
You let him sleep in your bed. Let him wake you with nightmares or memories. Keep him warm because this thing he inhabits doesn’t always remember it’s not dying anymore. You are so very alive, the realest thing in any room. Your touch is the only thing he can feel sometimes.
It takes him a long time to realize that his body (because it is a body you tell him, a living one that needs care) reacts to you.
That some mornings the press of you against him is especially sweet. That there’s more than relief and pride when you pin him down. That, at most points of the day, his body wants your touch for more than just grounding.
He’s hard most times that he’s with you, simply for the fact that you are there. And he is with you almost always.
(That it is not actually always grinds at him, niggles in the back of his mind. A sticking point. He wants it to be always, you with him at all times. Like when he used to wear a cross pendant.)
You notice, of course you do, sensitive to your most loyal devotee. He can’t tell if you’re offended, but you haven’t sent him away. Sometimes you flush and he thinks he’s certainly upset you, but for all he’s survived it would kill him to break your second commandment. And so he stays, even if he waits to be told to leave.
“Nikto?”
You never need to call his name, he is always listening. He likes the sound of it anyway. These syllables and sounds that have a meaning, that you use for him.
“Do you… want to do something about that?” you nod to his crotch. There’s a blatant bulge pressing at his tac pants. At some other time, he would probably would have found it uncomfortable.
“Do what?” he asks.
You shrug. “Get off? I could leave—“
“No.”
You blink but don’t seem surprised. “Do you want to just ignore it then?”
He shrugs a bit. There’s a flicker of amusement in your eyes. You like when he makes gestures. He tries to remember common ones, and when to do them, and tries them out for you. Though you never seem to mind his stillness either.
“It does not bother me.”
You hum, look like you’re going to go back to your tv show.
“Does it bother you?”
Your eyes dart up, mouth parting in surprise. You didn’t expect him to continue the topic. Neither did he.
“It doesn’t bother me,” you reply, tilting your head. “But if you want to do something about it, we can.”
We.
“We?”
“If… if you want me to do something… I would.”
He couldn’t ask that of you. Not ever. He’s not allowed to want anything of you when you’ve given him everything.
“No,” he says quietly finally. “Just ignore it.”
“Okay.” You smile at him, touch his hand. It is bare, mangled tattoos on display. He wishes he could feel it more. “Come snuggle in?”
Snuggle in.
Such a quaint turn of a phrase for a creature in your room, wearing a man’s face. He climbs in, shoes gone, mask gone. You wedge yourself against his side and he stares absently at the screen as you continue your show.
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Domestic Winter Soldier / Soldat Stuff
warnings: PTSD | Slight self-harm | Mentions past abuse
a/n: Idk I wanted to write this because he deserves some love even when he's the soldier. Various hcs about domestic life with the Winter Soldier. Actual fics in the works. I run four blogs so I try to balance it all. Not edited ignore mistakes.
Soldat is a little awkward with home life at first. He isn't sure what to do, being free from constant control isn't something he can easily adjust to.
He looks to you for commands all the time. Can he sit? Can he go to the bathroom? Can he sleep? Can he eat? Every little thing he does. You have to reassure him that he doesn't need to ask permission for anything, but he still does.
He sometimes gets snappy at you, since he still can't decide whether or not to trust you 100% or not. He can't understand why someone is being so nice to him.
Sometimes he accidentally breaks something and he flinches away from you, or he hides out of fear. You have to coax him out, telling him it's okay and that you're not going to hurt him. He always hesitates.
He struggles to sleep so he comes into your room most nights and stares at you or roughly shakes you to wake you up. "Can't sleep." he speaks lowly, and he grunts and climbs over you into your bed, never waiting for a response. At first he sleeps away from the door, but as time goes on he moves to sleep closest to the door in case any unlucky person breaks into your apartment.
Very much like a cat, he stays back but when he wants attention he sort of just...flops near you and demands it by laying on you somehow, or sitting super close so your bodies are touching.
He watches you cook a lot. He sits down at the counter and watches or he stands over you and watches. Sometimes you have to pull him away from the stove because the oil will burn him and he doesn't bother moving away on his own.
He's much more curious than you'd think. He watches you do a lot of things, almost as if he's never seen anything like it. Something as simple as brushing your hair or doing laundry, he's mesmerized by it.
When he's not watching you do something, you notice that he just stares a lot. He always watches you, at first out of uneasiness, but then...just because. He's always watching you, almost like he's worried you'll disappear.
You help him shower, he doesn't like touching his scars. He tries to rub them away, and he's tries to claw his metal arm off. So you help him clean to prevent him from going into one of those episodes of hurting himself in that way.
He used to get aggressive when you came around him when he was naked, treating you like some big threat, but you realized this was something more than just fear. It took a lot for him to get comfortable enough to allow you to touch him in the shower/bath.
For being so heavily trained as the best assassin, he's quite accident prone. Nothing major, but enough to warrant some kind of care. He feels a little confused whenever he gets hurt by accident, like he never expected the corner of the table to leave a small cut on his flesh arm. He focuses too much on things he knows hurt, that other things go unnoticed.
He learns to cook with you some days, he was tired of just watching. It's a good way to show him you trust him too, letting him handle things like knives or sharp objects without worrying he will hurt you.
You learn he really likes pie. Apple pie especially.
You also learn the alarm on the oven is too loud for him so you use your phone instead.
If you bring him out with you, he's very protective. His head is on a swivel, constantly observing everyone around you. He stays glued to your side, not letting you take many steps away from him.
Gets overstimulated easily.
Sounds that are similar to a blender or electricity freak him out. A bug zapper is also a sound he hates.
Some foods he looks at with newfound curiosity, like he hadn't seen them before. There are things he doesn't even recognize, newer or modernized things, he didn't know what to think. What the hell is an air fryer? How do you fry with air??
Get one and watch how he looks at it with amazement and confusion.
He seeks out spaces where he can be alone a lot, he needs space sometimes and you understand.
During bad episodes he sometimes disappears from your apartment, making you panic a little each time. You find him in alleys or the streets from time to time, he never wanders too far. You are worried sick but your priority is to get him back home.
It's hard for him to show it, but he does appreciate you and everything you've done for him. He gives you hugs from behind a lot, sometimes he whispers a word to you, but mostly he's silent.
He likes puzzles. He likes putting them together. Maybe because he himself feels like there are so many pieces of himself missing and it's satisfying to fill a picture.
One thing that calms him down are fresh cookies. Chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven, he can go from high strung to calm and docile.
He hates porridge and/or oatmeal. It's too similar to the things he was forced to eat in HYDRA. Tasteless slop, he can't stand the texture.
He loves when you brush his hair. His scalp is sensitive since he had his hair yanked and pulled so much, but you're always gentle. He loves feeling your fingers run through it and it puts him to sleep within minutes.
You're the only one who can touch his scars. Not that he is close to anyone else, but he doesn't fight you when your hand roams over where metal meets flesh.
Watches over you when you sleep a lot, his eyes glued to the door and his ears alert to every single sound. He stays up until he literally can't keep his eyes open.
He's very attached to you and never wants to leave you, ever.
Dividers by @/strangergraphics
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#the winter soldier#the winter soldier x reader#winter soldier#winter soldier x reader#bucky barnes comfort#winter soldier comfort#bucky barnes x you#winter soldier x you#james bucky barnes x reader#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes imagines#blythewrites⛓
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It's 2024. Are you still thinking about movieverse!Cherik? Because I am.
For the past several months, there's only been a very slow trickle of posts/fics in the xmcu cherik tag. Let's try to breathe some life back into this incredible pairing!
With one clear winner of my poll, here's thirty prompts for the thirty days of April. (This is a super chill, laid-back event---do these in any order, interpret them as loosely as you like! Create in any medium! Fic, art, gifs, meta, incoherent screaming about the otp…all winners in my book.)
The only rule here is to cherik too close to the sun. Alright. Here are the prompts.
Mutual Pining
Doesn't really even need elaboration! Write that horrifically slow slow-burn. Gif every time McAvoy made insane fuck me eyes on screen. Make a playlist of songs about impossible love.
2. Alternate Meetings
There are endless quotes about how these two complete each other in a way no one they'd met before or after ever did. How else could they have met?
3. Erik Has A Telepathy Kink
This is basically canon. Let my boy get freaky!
4. Canon Fix-It
All the times Fox fucked it up. There are endless options.
5. Hurt/Comfort
Put them in that Situation. Put them in that Blender. Break them apart and put them back together ❤️🩹
6. Canon Compliant
Draw that missing scene! Gif your favourite cherik moment!
7. Beach Divorce
Make it worse. Make it better. Show it to us exactly how it was. Break it down in a 3,000 word meta. Go wild!
8. Domestics
Sometimes you just want to see them doing normal couple things. Erik put the gun down.
9. Found Family
The real heart of x-men!
10. Time Travel
There are SO many possibilities here. Stick them in a time loop. Give them a chance to change their past.
11. AU
Love a good AU!
12. There Is Only One Bed
Had to get this one in here. What better way to amp up the tension?
13. Genosha
By some miracle, cherik actually did end up together at the end of 2019s trash bag disaster Dark Phoenix. We aren’t making a big enough deal about this.
14. Declaration(s) of Love
Who says it first? How do they say it and when? Have they said it…without saying it?
15. Jealousy
Need I say more.
16. Reunion
These two have absolutely no chill.
17. Soulmates
Classic prompt, had to get this in here too.
18. The DOFP Aircraft
The TENSION here. Break it down for me. How does Charles feel about his injury? How does Erik feel about his injury?
19. Gay Mutant Road Trip
You already know.
20. Body Swap
SO fun when people have superpowers.
21. First Kiss
When? How? Who initiated it?
22. The Mansion
Mansion!content is a genre of its own.
23. Conflicting Ideology
Give me your theses. Who’s right? Can they ever reconcile completely? Write a fic where it drives them apart.
24. Sebastian Shaw
A trope unto himself.
25. Team As Matchmaker
They had to have known something was going on, didn’t they?
26. Cooking
Charles deserves a good meal. Also, imagine Erik using his powers in the kitchen. The sheer domesticity…
27. Hurt No Comfort
Plenty of scope with these two 🥲
28. Growing Old Together
Giving Sirs Ian Mckellan and Patrick Stewart their props as well!
29. Making Up
*pushes chess board across the table* sorry babe
30. Charles Xavier Did More For Mutants Than You'll Ever Know
Rising to each other’s defense. Only I can insult this man.
I will be tracking #revivecherik to reblog stuff! Here’s a fic collection for the same. Let’s get this ball rolling! Please feel free to send me an ask if you’ve got anything to say! And most importantly, let’s all have fun 😁
*I know a few of you preferred something like a gift exchange because of the commitment factor—I’m super down to organise a tiny one for the handful of us! If this promptathon doesn’t flop horribly, we can hopefully do a whole bunch of stuff :)
If you read this post all the way through, please reblog for reach! Thank you! Hoping you participate come April.
Shoutout to @inmymagnetoera for reaching out and helping with this!
#revivecherik#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#xmfc#james mcavoy#michael fassbender#x men days of future past#x men#charles x erik#magneto#professor x
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Too Sweet - @ohtheblissx
It was a day like any other for john, the rise and shine grind of stammering out of bed and into his kitchen to use the blender for his morning brew, bliss oil, jimson weed and coffee all ground together with just a pinch of hazelnut for task before he was soon his bouncing and charismatic self. Once the sun had come up, yes he woke before the sun, he had already been clad in a pair of tight skinny jeans, to avoid baggage during baptism and of course he wanted to make sure he looked his best so he had a relatively nice dress shirt, his vest to feel fancier and of course a shit ton of hair gel to keep that mess back in the water. He knew he had a long day ahead, so he grabbed several thermoses to fill his morning concoction for the go and he was out the door, barely beating the morning light.
Most days reserved for baptism had a lot of thought put into it, showmanship, scripts and it was a spectacle to be seen so he knew he had to be at his best. Unfortunately that meant being cracked out of his mind, tearing up the roads of hope county in his beloved car and making an entire ass of himself to the early rising farmers as he’d passed by. Once he was at his usual baptism spot he’d seen his devout workers already hard at work dumping the bliss into the shallow water and creating a natural barrier to attempt to keep it all maintained. He abhorred Faith for her littering, but this was a necessary evil. Eyeroll.
Black boots hit the morning dew-soaked grass beneath his car door, his eyes squinting at the sun beaming over the mountains even despite having his signature shades on, the bliss had made everything so more vibrant. “brothers, sisters.” He sighed out, he was exhausted much like any addict he didn’t sleep much and that attributed to his foul mood, not that he could take it out on any of his followers without joseph reprimanding him. “make sure after you bless the waters you get rid of those containers, and I mean get rid of. If I so much as see a single barrel on the side of the waters west of the henbane.. there will be hell to pay.” He wanted so badly to spit that out more aggressively than he did, but he knew that sometimes people got butthurt and ran back to run their mouths for brownie points, so he settled with clenching his jaw and gesturing for them to commence.
Him on the other hand, he had an entire roster of people who were willing to be baptized and usually they had a few not so willing participants but— today's schedule was cleared. The only thing that he was dreading was the fact that he was expected to be there upon pickup of every participant of the evenings event.
Which meant he had to sit either passenger inside of the van or spend all day driving himself to each location, so to save on gas and his own peace of mind he went with the van. One visit turned into two, minutes turned into hours and as many fake smiles as he had to muster was enough to drive a normal person insane, but john wasn’t normal and he’d spent the entire trip sipping on bliss and taking it easy. Half of the time he was on his phone scrolling aimlessly and trying not to get a boner, but eventually the time had come. They had picked up the final passenger in the van, and the show was about to begin.
Once they had been at the river and everyone had gotten themselves prepared, it was time for John to make his scene. It was only a few minutes before he was about to walk down to the edge of the water when one of his devout followers came up to him to whisper the news, there was a deputy on their way through town and a birdy had heard they were investigating the happenings at Eden’s Gate. There was almost a glint of excitement that washed over him, the dread of monotony was taking a toll on him and this was the spark that he needed to get his motivation back. What better way to have showmanship if you don’t have new fans? Of course part of him halfway expects it to be a yee yee local cop, but regardless of that he was ready to get the baptism on the go. If he could get the majority out of the way before the arrival of the newest victim deputy, it would be a lot less stressful.
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PUT A WIFE BACK IN HER PLACE
KINKTOBER DAY 25 - SPANKING WITH MARTIN
Pairing.| Martin x fem!reader
Summary.| When Martin’s attempt to win your heart back with a nostalgic trip on a secluded Scottish island fails, he has one last resort to remind you who’s wife you are.
Warnings.| Dubcon, dry humping, spanking, arguing, infidelity, implied breeding.
Word count.| 1.4k
Notes.| This ain't that good but yolo because Martin is hot.
In Martin’s defense, you couldn’t say that he didn’t put in his all to revive your marriage, it’s been on the rocks for months now, every opportunity for intimacy always resulted in bickering at the best outcome. The arguments were daggering to the heart, zero remorse on either of your ends at times. But Martin was devoted to you, you were his world, he needed you more than oxygen.
His marvelous plan on resparking your attraction to one another seemed to be working like a blender unplugged from the power outlet. This will mark your third time vacating on the secluded Scottish island. You were quiet the whole boat ride, but it went unphased by Doug, he merely chatted on with Martin. Your husband would glance over at you every now and then, but you were in a different world.
With every day passing, Martin lost a handful of hope. Nothing was working like it used to. The way you’d smile at him when he’d come back after fishing had vanished. The gratitude for the small things he did for you was no more. Your marriage was flatlining. The small talk felt unbearable, turned shoulders made him want to rip his hair out. He only wanted to look at you, hold you, feel you. When you hid yourself in the bathtub, Martin felt his stomach turn in a mixture of shame and pleasure. How could you shy away from your husband? But then when was the last time he had even seen you naked.
He ran across the coastal shore, his expression was stern as he sprinted as fast as he could. His ears went blocked, heart pounded uncontrollably in his chest as the aches in his muscles grew. When he reached the top of the cliff, his hands formed into balls as he smacked the air.
“Fuck!” Martin roared, a vein popped out in his forehead.
Martin heaved out, his hands rested above his knees as he tried to catch his breath. After inhaling his asthma pump, his hands searched into his pocket for his phone. His fingers jabbed at the screen, then he scrolled to keep his motivation alive. He flicked through the countless screenshots of evidence, his grip tightened after each swipe.
I want to be with you.
I think of you every night.
You’re in my dreams, I picture the day when we’re together.
Now, Martin wasn’t sure of the details of your affair, only the little love messages George would send you, you’d always respond with something similar back, but your level of passion was lower, he was sure of it.
I love you.
He stared at that message for the longest, because it was sent by you the night before you two left. Why didn’t you love Martin anymore, your husband, the man you declared your vows to, the man you devoted your life for. In sickness and in health, you were his.
Martin decided to walk back to the cottage, for the chaos would unfold that night. Every few steps, Marin would roughly rub his eyes. The smell of the seaside did little to ease his stresses, the wind was picking up, the scent of rain grew.
When he entered the cottage, you took a moment to even acknowledge him, your attention drawn to the book you were reading. You gave him a small smile, his jaw locked, he turned his heel and headed to the kitchen. Martin did try hard to remain calm, he poured himself a large glass of red wine, then another for you. As he handed the glass to you, he sucked on his lower lip.
You thanked him, oblivious to his boiling anger. Impulsively, Martin took a large swig of the nectar and clinked it onto the table. His eyes burnt into you, but you ignored him completely, you were driving him mad.
“So, does he fuck you good?” Martin abruptly asked.
You choked on your wine, your eyes darted up at him as you analyzed him, surely he couldn’t know? It was as if you were a deer caught in headlights, Martin could swear he could hear your heartbeat race. You were waiting for the punchline, but eventually realized it wasn’t coming.
“What are you going on about?” you replied, trying to remain cool as if you weren’t a kettle boiling on the hot stove.
“Does George fuck you good?” Martin clarified, huffing out in anger, his name tasted like venom on his tongue.
“Martin” you warned.
“I should have figured it out sooner, I always knew he had the hots for you, but I didn’t realize you were such a little whore” Martin insulted.
George worked with you, and yes, he did always have the hots for you. Despite your constant rejection, he kept on making sly advances on you. Until one day, when you were fed with your sickening feuds with Martin, that you just gave in to George’s affection.
In a childish manner, you abruptly stood up and turned your direction to the hallway. Martin followed you just as quickly and you flinched, he looked unhinged.
“Step back Martin!” you demanded as you hurried to the hallway.
“Where are you going to go! It’s just you and I honey, a husband and his wife” Martin teased harshly as he followed after you.
When you didn’t stop, he yanked you back by the shoulder and shoved you against the wall. You cried out as he pressed his body up against yours, his face drew close to yours.
“You think I’m not manly enough for you? Aye!” Martin shouted by your ear, you winced at his behavior.
“No Martin!” you cried.
Martin’s eyes squinted together as he felt the tears forming. His hand smacked on the wall besides your head in anger, you shrieked out.
“Why don’t you fucking love me anymore” Martin snarled, his face twitched.
There was no response from you. His hands gripped onto your curves and you gasped out as you felt his erection grow against you. His stubble brushed over your heating cheek, you shuddered out. Quickly, he flipped your front onto the wall, you gasped out and swallowed down the ball of spit in your throat.
“You’re my fucking wife, you’ll stay with me” Martin determined with a nod.
“O-okay, just calm down” you shuddered. “Martin!” you yelped out as he yanked your comfy pants down to your thighs.
“Shut it, just giving you what you deserve” Martin responded harshly and he forcefully pressed your face on the wall.
You choked on your sob as he smacked your rear harshly. His hand pressed against your shoulder blade, you were confined against the plastered wall as he spanked your cheeks. Never has your husband been so rough with you, he was always gentle, kind and thoughtful. Martin would mutter curse words under his breath as he felt his cock twitch in his athlete shorts. The sounds of his slaps echoed throughout the walls, you bit back your moans, your eyes almost rolling back as you unknowingly squeezed your thighs together to create friction.
“I love you” Martin confessed, his lips pressed to your ear as he continued to bring his palm to your flaming skin.
“I know you do, Martin” you panted out, your breathing rugged, hips shifting.
“I’d do anything for you” Martin grunted as he hit you with full force.
“I know you would!” you whined.
His blue eyes could see how your body was reacting, how horny you were becoming. Martin heaved out, his body molded against yours as he rubbed his erection over your stinging cheeks. Your knees felt weak, his body weight was holding you up. Desperately, his humps humped against your ass, Martin could hardly control his desires.
“You want a baby?” Martin whispered, almost romantically.
“W-what?” you whimpered out.
“Do you want a baby, my darling? I’ll put one in you right now if it’d fix everything” Martin explained, his hands rubbing your hips.
You stammered out as you tried to think logically. A baby was all that you wanted, for so long. But Martin just always put his job first and shooed away the possibilities of creating a family together. You hated him for it. But now he wants to change?
“Come on, how many arguments did we have over it? How badly does it make you despise me?” Martin continued on, his head rubbed against yours.
You mumbled out, you tried to think of George, of your plans. But he seemed to be disappearing from your mind. Martin’s hands caressed over your stomach, you moaned out gently and turned around to your husband, your lips neared his.
#cillian murphy#cillian murphy smut#smut#dark smut#cillian murphy kinktober#kinktober 2024#kinktober#martin x reader#retreat 2011#cillian x fem!reader#cillian murphy x reader
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→ t-shirts with a bunch of random things i enjoy! ☆ new mesh, bgc ☆ 11 swatches + 2 bonus swatches ☆ feminine frame / teen-elder ☆ custom thumbnail ☆ disabled for random please lmk if there are any issues, since this is my first real piece of cc!!
*ೃ༄ download (sfs)
since this is a thank-you gift, you will find the thank-you notes under the cut (quite cheesy + long)
first of all: thank you so much for 100 followers!!
i especially want to thank all my mutuals for being such amazing people, hyping me up every time i post and blessing my feed with their incredible talent. i don't normally like singling people out because of my fear of leaving people out but i wanted to give a special special shoutout to @miralure and @simulatd because they are literally the sweetest people ever!!
my page is almost a year old but i've only been consistently active since october and if you look at my earlier posts you can definitely tell my edits have gone through a few transformations. even now i’m not entirely sure what my niche is. i wanted to thank you guys for supporting me even when i give you whiplash while trying to figure out what i want my page to be!
i feel a little proud with the progress i’ve made last year, or rather in the last few months. i’ve started learning how to use blender (which i never thought i’d do) and honestly it’s the most fun i’ve had in a while!! it allows me to realize my silly ideas and has almost no limitations. i’m still very new to it, but i’m looking forward to the this year and to all the progress i’ll make.
as for cc making, i have so much respect for cc creators and what they're able to do. going into this with no experience and time to practice (because i gave myself a stupid time limit) was definitely not my smartest move. these shirts honestly don't look the best, which is a little disappointing but if you don't want them, just ignore them and look at the preview instead (which kind of sucks as well) !!
if you read all of this: thank you!! and if you didn't: thank you still!!
i know i'm a little late but nevertheless i wish everyone a happy new year!! i'm so excited to see what this year has in store for us <33 much love & see you soon (because i do need a short break after this...)
#the sims 4#ts4#sims 4 cc#sims 4 custom content#ts4cc#s4cc#the sims 4 cc#the sims 4 custom content#download
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Let’s talk Nico Hischier in the form of a request shall we? "I just want you to be happy! And perhaps a little bit naked."
The Girl from Across the Hall - N. Hischier
masterlist || g's graduation celly
synopsis: Ever since he moved in, Nico has had a crush on his neighbor, but she doesn't feel the same way. . . or does she?
word count: 3.0k
warnings: idiots to lovers, mentions of hookups/sex, cursing, drinking
Nico had a crush.
At age 25, Nico Hischier, captain of the New Jersey Devils, had a crush on his best friend.
It wasn’t like Nico planned on falling in love with his best friend, it just kind of happened. He wasn’t sure when it happened, but it did, and there was nothing that he could do about it.
Nico could remember the day he met her like it was yesterday. He had just been drafted by the Devils, and was moving into his apartment, by himself in Jersey City. He wouldn’t ever admit it out loud, but he was terrified; being in a new country, a new city, about to embark on a brand new journey in his life. Nico thought he was doing a good job at hiding his nerves, but apparently, he was not.
On the second week of being on his own, Nico had ventured out to get some basic things for his apartment that his mother hadn’t already supplied him with. He was thankful that his parents had flown across the ocean to help him move in. He hadn’t ever lived on his own before, and found himself calling his parents almost every single day. Nico had gotten by for two weeks with the basic supplies and amenities he had, but he wanted to get some more things like a blender and a waffle iron, and maybe some decorative pillows.
But Nico was a lot like his mother, and ended up buying a lot more than what he had wanted to get. With his arms full of shopping bags, Nico made the trek up to his tenth floor apartment, breaking a sweat by the time he got to his front door. He grunted as he shifted the bags around, trying to grab his keys out.
“C’mon,” He said to himself, trying to adjust his keys in his hands, his arms beginning to hurt from the bags cutting off circulation, “Fuck! Fuck!” He cursed as his keys clattered to the ground, “Fuck!”
“You okay?” A gorgeous girl in a pair of shorts and a tank top stood in her doorway, a confused look on her face.
Nico sighed, and looked down at his keys, “Yeah.”
“You sure?” She asked and Nico shook his head.
“I dropped my keys,” He said in defeat.
“I see,” She said, stepping out of the door, “You just move in?” He nodded, and she bent down to grab his keys, easily finding the one to the door, “I’m Y/N,” She introduced herself, putting the key in the lock, and turning it, “My sister and I live across the hall.”
“Nico,” He said, and she pushed the front door open, “Thank you.”
“No problem,” She nodded, “But you know. . . the doors have their own key fob you could’ve used. Hell of a lot easier than fiddling with a key,” Nico’s jaw dropped dumbfoundedly, as he watched Y/N skip back across the hall, “Nice to meet you, Nico!”
And now, nearly 7 years later, Nico lived in the same apartment with Y/N still across the hall. Though things had changed over the years, such as Y/N’s sister moving out and Nico becoming the captain of the devils, their friendship never changed. They got closer as the years went on, both of them being the same age, having some of the same interests. But Nico was drawn to her personality; confident, sassy, smart, a beautiful person both inside and out, but also a bit intimidating. Nico had witnessed her first hand hold her ground against pissed off hockey fans, and dudes who think they are entitled to get something after a first date.
And maybe that was why Nico was afraid to tell her how he felt. Or maybe it was because he didn’t want to lose her as a friend. Y/N had been one of the first people he had connected with when he moved to Jersey. She was there through it all, his tough rookie season, bad losses, exciting wins, being named captain, a run in the play-offs, a miserable season following. She was his person, his best friend. And he was going to be damned if he did anything to mess with that.
So Nico kept his feelings a secret, and kept on playing the dutiful best friend role that he had been playing for the past 7 years. Even when all he could do was sit on a barstool and watch as she danced with some random guy at the bar.
“You know,” Jack said, sitting down next to Nico, “This is getting pathetic.”
“What is?” Nico asked, looking at his alternate captain.
“You,” Jack said, honestly and the Swiss man furrowed his eyebrows, “And her,” Jack then pointed to where Y/N was, her back pressed against some guy as they swayed to the music.
“She’s having fun,” Nico shrugged, “And I’m making sure he doesn’t disrespect her.”
“Oh you are such a hero, Nico! A stand up guy! Oh please have my babies!” Jack feigned, batting his eyelashes in an exaggerated move, “You’re making me sad! It’s a bar! We just clinched a playoff spot! And you’re making me sad!”
“Then don’t look at me,” Nico sassed back. He grabbed his beer and took a hefty sip, before looking back at the dancefloor where Y/N was still with that guy. She was facing him now, whispering something in his ear, as his hands sat dangerously low on her hips. Maybe they were discussing going home with each other. It wouldn’t have been the first time that Nico spotted her coming home with a guy or watching a guy leave out her front door. It broke his heart every single time, but he would never tell her that.
“Look,” Jack said, sitting his beer down, “I am just looking out for you, okay. It is painfully obvious that you have a thing for Y/N, and it’s kind of obvious that she doesn’t feel the same. I don’t want to see you get hurt. And I feel like that's where this is heading.”
Nico sighed, hanging his head, “So what do I do?” He asked honestly.
“You find yourself a hottie, take her home, and bang her,” Jack said as if it was the simplest thing in the world, “Hey, I know that you haven’t had your dick in something other than your hand since you broke up with Macy eight months ago.”
Jack was right, Nico hadn’t been intimate with anyone since his ex. Macy was a great girl, fantastic even. She never got mad or upset about him always being going or putting most of his focus on hockey and the team. The only issue was, she wasn’t Y/N. Nico hated that every time he kissed Macy or touched her, he would imagine she was Y/N. When Nico broke up with Macy, she wasn’t mad, and it was almost as if she expected it. She even told him that she knew his heart wasn’t completely in it, and that it belonged to someone else.
“I don’t do one night stands,” Nico said.
“How do you know? Ever had one?”
Nico was silent for a moment, “No.”
“Then?” Jack encouraged, “Just get it out of your system.”
Nico pondered it for a moment, looking around the bar. It was packed, girls in scantily dressed clothing, and men with fake designer clothing on. The loud music felt like a second heartbeat in Nico’s chest, and the air was thick with sweat.
“Her,” Jack said, pulling Nico’s attention, and pointing to a girl on the other side of the bar, “She’s just your type, she looks like Y/N.” Nico hated to admit it, but the girl on the other side of the bar did look a lot like Y/N. A tall-ish build, with beautiful curves and a bright smile. However this girl had a certain aura about her, as if she was commanding all eyes to be on here, where for Y/N, all the eyes in the room naturally followed her.
“I’ll be back,” Nico said, chugging down the rest of his beer before going to the girl.
It was about five minutes later that Y/N came bouncing up to the bar, out of breath, and in dire need of a drink. She loved going to bars and clubs like this. She loved feeling the bass in her bones, the bright lights robbing her of her site, the layer of sweat on her body. She knew that Nico hated it, but would grin and bear it just for her, he hated her going to these places alone. But the Devils were in the playoffs and so coming to the club was a must for celebration.
“How ya been, Dancin’ Queen?” Jack greeted her.
“Dying of thirst!” Y/N answered back, draping an arm around his shoulders. He held up his beer in offering and she shook her head, “Water, please. I don’t like drinking alcohol at the club.”
“You’re so weird,” Jack shook his head, but knew her reasoning. Y/N only liked to drink in a ‘controlled environment’ as she would call it, the comfort of her apartment or Nico’s or Jack’s, or anywhere that wasn’t in public. She was just naturally a ball of fun at the club, sober.
Jack waved down the bartender and asked for a glass of water, which Y/N thanked him for. The cool liquid felt amazing down her dry throat, “Where’s Nico?”
“Overthere,” Jack smirked, nodding towards the other side of the bar. Y/N’s eyes widened as she saw her best friend, leaned up on the side of the bar talking to a gorgeous woman, “Where’s your date?”
“My date?” Y/N asked, looking back at Jack.
“Yeah,” He shrugged, “The guy you were dry humping on the dance floor.”
“Logan?” Y/N asked again, a laugh tumbling from her lips, “He’s been my friend since elementary. He’s just here for the weekend.”
“Mhm,” Jack nodded, rubbing his lips together. Y/N looked back over towards Nico, a weird feeling in her chest as she watched him move in closer to the girl, and brush a strand of hair behind her ear.
Y/N swallowed down the rest of her water, “I think I’m gonna call it a night. I’ll order an uber or something.”
Jack snapped his head towards her, “What? No? You love this club!”
“Yeah,” She sighed in defeat, “But I’m tired and my feet hurt and the music is starting to give me a headache.” Jack looked at her incredulously. Usually Jack and Nico were dragging Y/N out of the club at the end of the night, hardly ever did she want to leave before last call. Jack looked over at Nico, and then at Y/N, realization settling on his features.
She was jealous.
“Are you-”
“I’m leaving,” Y/N ordered, turning on her heel, but Jack grabbed her arm.
“Hey,” Jack said, “One, you’re not going to get into an uber by yourself on a friday night in Jersey City. I’ve watched enough SVU to know that’s a recipe for disaster.”
“Thanks detective Tutuola,” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest, her breasts being pushed up over the top of her silver slip dress, “Are you coming then?”
“Yes,” Jack grumbled, “Hold on.” He turned back towards where Nico was standing, waving his hand to get his friend’s attention, but Y/N was growing impatient, not wanting to stand there and watch Nico talk to some girl who was giving him ‘fuck me’ eyes.
“Uber is two minutes out.”
“Fuck it! I’ll just text him.” Jack groaned, slamming back the rest of his drink and getting up from his barstool, “C’mon.” He put his hand on the small of her back, leading her hastily out of the bar towards the awaiting bar.
“That’s seriously so cool!” The girl, whose name Nico learned is Megan, said, “I have only been to Switzerland once, and it was the most beautiful place I have ever been too. We went up to the mountains and ugh. . . that’s a sight I still have dreams about.”
“Yeah it’s def-” Nico was cut off as his phone buzzed in his pocket, “Excuse me,” He blushed as he pulled his iPhone out of his pocket, seeing a message from Jack. His dark eyebrows furrowed as he read it and then looked up, seeing Jack slam his glass down and all but run out of the club, his hand on Y/N’s back. Nico looked back down at the message, anger blooming in his chest.
‘Going home with Y/N. Don’t wait up.’
Nico clenched his jaw, sliding his phone back into his pocket. He huffed and turned towards Megan, “You want to get out of here?”
Megan licked her lips and nodded, “Sure.”
— — —
This is what the walk of shame must’ve felt like, though she had little shame as she walked down the hallway on the tenth floor to her apartment. It was more like she didn’t want anyone to see her current state of dress, a large oversized t-shirt, a pair of men’s boxers, and white nike socks all courtesy of Jack Hughes. After they left the club, Y/N didn’t want to return to her empty apartment, instead she went back to Jack’s place, where Luke had escaped to earlier in the night. She had crashed in Jack’s bed after many more drinks and rounds of UNO.
Now, she was making that fateful walk back home, her silver dress strewn over her arm and her heels in her other hand. Her hair was a mess of curls and hairspray, her face felt disgusting with the remnants of last night’s makeup. Y/N was almost home safe, when her neighbor opened his door, startling her.
“Hey,” Nico said, standing shirtless in nothing but a pair of running shorts and sneakers, “You’re just getting home?”
“Yeah,” Y/N nodded, “I ended up staying at Jack’s last night after we left.”
Nico felt his heart speed up, “Seriously?”
“Yeah,” Y/N said again, this time shrugging, “I felt like I had been home alone so much this week with you guys gone, and didn’t really want to come back alone so I-”
“But you weren’t alone,” Nico crossed his arms over his chest, “You had Jack.”
Y/N’s eyebrows furrowed at the shift in Nico’s tone, “But I was tired of looking at the same scenery, I need a change. What’s with the interrogation?”
“Just didn’t know you and Jack were like that.”
“We have been for a while,” Y/N shifted on her feet, “Usually he comes over here cause Luke is-”
“Luke knows?”
“He lives there,” Y/N was growing confused and a bit annoyed, “Look, it’s not that deep. I crashed at his place last night. I don’t know why I’m getting grilled like a criminal right now.”
“Cause he’s my teammate,” Nico grumbled. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, anger, jealousy, sadness. “And we’re about to go into the playoffs and I don’t need some chick messing with his head.”
Y/N was taken aback by Nico’s words. ‘Some chick’? Y/N wasn’t just some chick. She was Nico’s best friend, and considered an honorary WAG of the Devils organization. Everyone loved and adored her, inviting her to sit in the same section with the rest of the WAGs or on roadies or to watch parties. The coaching staff knew her on a first name basis and knew that if anything happened to Nico, she was the first person to call. Y/N L/N wasn’t just some chick. And Nico knew that.
“Fine,” Y/N pursed her lips, “Good luck in the playoffs, Nico. I’ll leave you and the rest of your team alone.”
“Wait, Y/N-” Nico was cut off by the loud slam of her front door and the lock turning. He groaned, cursing himself in his head as he walked up to her front door, pounding his fist against the wood.
“Go away!”
“No!” Nico protested, continuing his loud knocking on the door.
Y/N rolled her eyes as she yanked the front door open, “Go away and quit knocking on my door like a lunatic!” Y/N went to slam her door in his face again, but Nico stopped it with his strong hand. She let out a huff as she turned on her heel, welcoming him into the apartment.
“I’m sorry,” Nico said, running a hand through his hair, “You’re not just ‘some chick’. . .” He took in a deep breath, gathering up the courage, “You’re everything to me.”
“Nico,” Y/N sighed, looking up at him from the couch.
“Just listen,” Nico stood in front of her, “I’m in love with you. And I have been for a while. And I-I know you don’t feel the same way about me, and I’m okay with that. Well, I’m learning to be okay with that. It sucks, okay,” Nico shook his head with a self deprecating laugh, “It sucks because I just want you to be happy! And maybe a little naked with me,” His cheeks turned red and she couldn’t help but giggle, “But if that’s not what you want, then I’ll deal. I want what’s best for you and if Jack is what is best-”
“Wait,” Y/N held her hand up, cutting Nico off in the middle of his confession, “Jack?”
“Yeah,” Nico nodded, “You said that you guys have a-”
“Oh my god,” Y/N couldn’t help the laughter falling from her lips. “Oh my god, Nico.” She closed the gap between them, placing her hands on his stubbled cheek, “Jack and I? We are friends. There is nothing and I mean nothing between us,” Her eyes searched his for a moment, as she drew in a breath, “I love you too. And I have for a while.”
Nico didn’t hesitate to place his lips on hers, pulling her flush against his body. Years of pent up tension and wondering what the other was thinking washed away in an instant. She wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers tangling in his brown hair. When the two of them pulled away for air, Y/N rested her forehead against Nico’s.
“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” She asked.
“Me? Why didn’t you?” Nico laughed, “God, we’re dumb.”
“Yeah,” Y/N smiled up at him, “But you love me.”
“That I do.”
#nico hischier#nico hischier imagine#nico hischier x reader#nico hischier fan fic#nico hischier fic#nico hischier one shot#nhl oneshot#nhl imagine#nh13#hockey imagine#hockey fan fic#hockey fic
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Spencer does your makeup.
In which you let Spencer do your makeup for the day, and he knows exactly how you do it.
fem!reader, fluff
notes: this isn't proofread, so sorry in advance for any mistakes you might find!! absolute fluff btw. If any of you guys wanna send a request feel free to do so, i might start writing smut as well but im still a little shy lol, feel free to follow and interact.
Spencer watches you get ready every chance he gets. He has your morning routine engraved in his brain. He knew the rhythm of your mornings like the lyrics to a favorite song, each step a symphony of grace and purpose.
He loves your expressions as you're trying to figure out your outfit, the way you look the temperature for the day on your phone to know if you should bring a coat or not – even though you always do, 'cause you're always cold.
He also loves to watch you do your makeup, he looks at you as if you were the most talented artist and were finishing up a masterpiece, he watches you with attention, careful to not miss a single brush stroke as you blush up your cheeks.
"Hey, um, would you mind if I tried doing your makeup today?" Spencer's voice was tentative, almost shy, as he approached you.
You were surprised by his offer, turning to face him, a soft smile playing at the corners of your lips. "Sure, Spence. Why not? It could be fun."
He sat down in front of you, analyzing your face and the makeup items on your desk, he picked up your moisturizer first, applying it all over your face, massaging it softly as he did, he followed all your skincare to a T, his face of concentration making you hide a smile.
Spencer got your foundation and beauty blender, you couldn't stop the surprised look on your face as he took the time to wet your sponge, surprised he even knew you did this. And again, he followed your base routine as if he was the one doing it every day, not missing a single stroke of the brush on your skin.
"Did you know that lipstick was originally made from crushed bugs and plants?" he said, his voice a mixture of fascination and amusement. "Thankfully, we've come a long way since then."
You laugh softly at the information, loving his ramble. He continued rambling about the history of makeup and all the techniques ancient people used, and you looked at him as his hands worked on your face, he was so close, paying so close attention to your face you almost got shy, but it was Spencer.
Spencer makes you feel so confident, he never fails to compliment you every chance he gets, his eyes lighting up every time he sees you, if you're in your pajamas or a fancy dress, it doesn't matter, he looks at you just the same like you're the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, and he makes you feel that way too.
When it came time to apply the eyeliner, you noticed he was struggling a little, smiling a little when he made a wavy line almost on your cheek.
"Oops, sorry," he muttered, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
You reached out, taking the eyeliner from his hand with a reassuring smile. "It's okay, Spence. I'll finish up."
As you smoothed out the lines and added the finishing touches, Spencer watched with a mixture of awe and admiration, his heart swelling with pride at the sight of your beauty enhanced by his handiwork.
When you turned to face him, the mirror reflecting your radiant smile at him, Spencer couldn't help but feel a swell of affection for the incredible person standing before him.
"You're beautiful," he whispered, his voice filled with love and admiration.
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for the baby genderfluid tips!!
this could just be me lmao, but DO NOT donate your fem clothes if you feel masc for longer than usual. or vice versa.
keeping a gender journal is something that can be really helpful to actually look back on and see how it changes (and also have proof of fluidity for when you begin to think "hmm actually im just a trans girl. nothing else." no, you probably aren't. you felt completely boy/nonbinary/etc just a month ago, and thats okay.)
basically it can be really hard to embrace that your gender is not static, especially if your gender stays stable for a slightly longer period. it took me so long to stop rotating between "im a girl always" "no, im a boy always" "actually, im nonbinary always" to just admit im genderfluid.
also, make genderfluid content. you don't have to show it to anyone, but sometimes it can really help to make poetry or art or write a story about being fluid and your experience in particular. i have an easy avenue for this since i write fanfiction (haven't published any of it yet lmao) and i just hit my favorite characters with my genderfluid beam and go nuts
follow people who are genderfluid, read genderfluid books, maybe join a genderfluid discord server (there are barely any, so actually maybe make one), try to make genderfluid friends. you are not alone, even though it sometimes feels that way.
if you have plushies or anything similar, make them genderfluid. i have a genderfluid squishmallow who i use she/they pronouns for, and a little husky that switches between he/she. idk it just helps sometimes lol
some of us change gender daily, or multiple times a day. some of us change gender only a couple times a year, or even less. we're all different and that's fine.
tips for presentation:
if you have a day when you can't figure out gender, go neutral clothing-wise
take little things to ease dysphoria if you switch when you're out somewhere (ex. lipgloss, eyeliner, leather bracelet, etc)
if you can, get pronoun pins. seriously, get pronoun pins (or a colored bracelet for subtlety or if you're not out). you can wear multiple at a time, you can switch them whenever you need to. you aren't a burden if your pronouns change. you don't have to stick to they/them to be easy for people.
if you can, get a versatile hairstyle that you can make suit your gender no matter what. if you cant, try to get a hairstyle that makes you the least dysphoric overall.
if you are organized enough, separate your clothes based on gender/what you feel comfy wearing on different days. do not pressure yourself to fit stereotypes. some people can only feel comfortable in skirts when theyre boys, so they only wear skirts on boy days. do what works for you.
it's kinda complicated, but if you can expand your vocal range to sound more fem or masc depending on how you feel, it can help. alternatively, vocal train to make it more androgynous.
keep makeup wipes with you in case you need to take it off part way through being out. basically, make it as easy as possible to be able to change/tweak your presentation if necessary.
this could just be me, but having lots of hoodies in different colors and styles will save your life
sometimes you might have "blender days", which is what i call it when your gender feels like its in a blender in a bad way and you can't tell at all what it is, everything feels wrong, it's changing like every 10 minutes, etc. tbh on these days all i can do is put on sweats and a hoodie and feel dysphoric. listen to music if it helps. do a hobby.
non-clothing items can help a lot. a blue tshirt and jeans can be whatever you want it to be based on what you wear it with. (ex. sneakers/ballet flats, leather bracelet/sparkly necklace, baseball cap/eyeliner)
and lastly: YOU ARE AMAZING. keep being you, keep being incredible, and know that being genderfluid is a gift. be proud to be who you are, have fun, know that you are unique and special and wonderful!! we're ever-changing, and that's awesome. you are precious. i love you.
🩷🤍💜🖤💙
dont wanna link my tumblr, but my name is kiley if you want to attach a name to this!
Okay this is a lot more than I was expecting LMAO /pos
Thank you so much for this Kiley <33 I’ll start working on a masterpost with links to all this.
#genderfluid#genderfluid culture is#genderfluid culture#lgbtq#lgbtqia#lgbtq+#anon#anonymous#Genderfluid tips#Baby genderfluid tips#Genderfluid help
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Modern Sukuna x reader? My fav type of brain rot rn (more like obsession but live laugh love)
i saw a video of this guy doing makeup then my brain was like WOAH write this, so i did. MUAH
Modern Sukuna x reader where the reader does his makeup. Fluff with a little sprinkle of something else wink wink (still mostly fluff don’t be deceived)
2023 words. My bad got carried away
NOT edited sorry for any mistakes i cannot be bothered to fix anything i wanna go to sleep XO.
“Can you please stop moving, it is just a headband!” I tell the man in front of me practically yelling in his face.
I watch as he rolls his eyes but complying nontheless. “do you really only have this headband.” He mumbles as I finally get all his hair behind the fluffy headband that melts into his hair seamlessly, the same shade of pink as his.
“Yes, it is.” I lie to him with a smile on my face. He hums moving closer to me once I turn around looking for my moisturizer. I am sitting on our bathrooms sink with the entirety of my make-up bag scattered across countertop. I pop open the lid squeezing a fair amount onto my index finger. Putting the bottle down I turn to face my boyfriend who is now inches from my own face.
My breath catches in my throat as I feel his breath fan across my lips. “What’s this supposed to be?” He asks me without looking at the moisturizer that is sitting on my finger.
I let out a breath bringing it up to his face. “Its moisturizer Sukuna, I’ve put it on you before.” I mutter to him.
He smirks giving me a few inches of space as I turn around for yet another product.
Taking a moment to spot what my next step is, my eyes finally find the familiar primer I use every time I do my makeup.
I take the bottle directly to his face pumping a few drops onto his forehead, cheeks, and chin. I rub it in gently, admiring how clear his skin is. I cannot even recall the last time I saw a pimple on his perfect face.
“I think it’s good princess.” Sukuna speaks out a smirk evident in his tone.
I stop rubbing in the primer leaning back to grab my concealer. “You’ve got great genetics.” I stupidly tell him.
He laughs and it feels like my heart skips a beat. Taking a breath, I remind myself this was my idea in the first place; I begged him for months to let me do this. He just randomly agreed this time catching me of guard as I was prepared for the rejection I have received every time I asked.
I twist open my concealer taking the wand to his face. I smear a fair amount under his eyes concentrating on his inner corners. I put a small bit of product under his nostrils and forehead, finishing with a swipe on each of his upper-jaw lines.
I then grab my eyebrow pencil using one end to brush his brow hairs. I twist the opposite end after flipping the pencil around; skillfully I draw tiny lines onto his already full eyebrows. Sukuna hands me a makeup brush with a thin and sharp shape. The next few minutes I silently carve out his brows.
I feel Sukuna place his hands on my waist, slowly rubbing my hips as I finish up. I turn and grab my setting spray and beauty blender. Sukunas hands come to a stop and then on my left hip I feel a tight pinch. “Ow?!” I screech moving as far back from the man who assaulted my skin.
He chuckles putting his hands on my lower back, pushing back up. “What?” he asks innocently.
I roll my eye deciding to move on from his attack. I spray my beauty blender with my setting spray then onto his face ignoring the way he flinches his face as the mist coats his skin. Once I go to pat the beauty blender onto his skin he flinches again. I eye him trying again only for the same response. “Sukuna.” I warn him only for him to still avoid my beauty blender. “Please just don’t move.” I groan pleading with him.
He does it again, so I grab his chin using most my strength to pull him closer. I hold him in place patting the concealer into his face and he lets me. Afterwords I move to get my liquid contour keeping my hand on his chin. I look over his face and giggle noticing the tone difference between us.
“What’s so funny.” He grumbles eyeing my hands movement. I open the container grabbing my designated brush to rub the contour under his check bones, then onto his nose to define it even more.
“The concealer is definitely not your shade.” I giggle out simultaneously blending the contour in.
He makes a displeased face but stays silent, going back to watching me intently. Satisfied with my blending I switch my contour and brush for my liquid blush, and it’s nominated brush that only ever touches blush products. Quickly I spray the brush with setting spray before dipping it onto the product. I take the brush to Sukunas upper check bone; blending it up till it touches the edges of his brow. Repeating the step on the other side I subconsciously lean into him.
He grabs onto my upper thighs giving them a tight squeeze. I move to add more product onto the brush but before I can apply more to his face he speaks up. “Careful with that, you got a history of blush blindness.”
I pull back astounded from the words that came out of his mouth. “Come again.” I demand more then ask.
“You heard me.” He licks his lips concealing a smirk that I know to well.
My jaw goes slack. “I have never once! Had blush blindness the fuck is you talking about?!”
“Come on be for real.” He deadpans
I grimace shaking my head asking as if a bug was buzzing in my ear. Taking a long breath in I meet his eyes. “I like a rosy look, sue me.”
“Whatever you wanna call it.” He drawls out.
“Are you telling me you don’t like my makeup?” I grill him, putting the blush down getting out the setting spray again.
He rubs my thighs, giving me a soft peck on the check. “No. I just like making your checks rosy myself.”
If it was not for the blush currently on my own skin, he would have seen what he liked. “That’s cheeky” I whisper distracting myself with spraying the setting spray all over his face forcing him to close his eyes, offering me a shield from his eyes to try and compose myself.
I place the setting spray down grabbing one of my most expensive products.
“Give me a warning next time you spray that shit woman.” He coughs out dramatically. I roll my eyes ignoring him as I softly fan his face with my unoccupied hand.
After the setting spray is dry enough for my liking, I place it down and get my press puff. Looking down I place the product Ive been holding onto the counter. My hands slowly open the black lid with the words ‘Huda Beauty’ sketch on-top. I lift the lid, watching as the lose powders particles fly in the air; the smell of fresh florals softly fills the air around us. “Don’t move for this I wanna do it right.” I tell the man whose hands are moving up my body inch by inch.
He hums and I start my attack on his face. Pressing the powder under the contour on his checks, I get more powder onto my puff and outline his nose before going onto the rest of his face with the excess product.
“Mkay now I mascara and lashes.” I beam excitedly, I even went out of my way to save a pair of lashes so I can have fresh ones for this makeup look.
I grab all the items I will need having them ready at my side. Staring with the lashes I peal them off their package taking each one to his eye to map out where I will need to cut them. Getting his eye shape, I take the scissors beside me and cut the lashes to fit his eyes. I expertly get the glue for the application, perfectly aligning it onto the lashes band. Letting the lashes sit I grab my eyelash curler. “I’m gonna place this on your lashes, when I say so just blink really hard to curl them.” I instruct moving the curler to his lashes. He listens and closes his eyes after I say so making the process easy for me. I move back and trade the eye lash curler for my lash glue. I grab Sukunas chin and get even closer. Keeping my palm on his cheek I tell him to close his eyes. I gently place the lash glue right above where his lashes grow being as precise as I can.
I move myself back finished with the lash glue. I just stare at him for a moment, catching his deep brown eyes. He must be one of gods favourites. I study his face without shame. If I was a bystander it would look like I had hearts in my eyes. Maybe I do, but I cannot help it. From the sharpness of his bone structure to the thickness of his lashes and brows that most girls would kill for. His beauty sometimes overwhelms me even so I can never rip my eyes from it.
“you’re to pretty Kuna.” I tell him in my daze.
He stares at me unmoving for what feels like forever. The silence so loud between us. Then he moves quicker then my eyes can adjust to. Capturing my lips breathless kiss. I want to pull away and tell him he is going to ruin all the hard work I put into his makeup, to my disappointment he reads my mind. i’m left breathless and now I know for certain there I have heart eyes. Disheartening I do not go in for a second kiss, instead I go for the lashes, picking each one up to perfectly place upon his upper lash line; making sure the inner corners stay down.
I reach for my fluffiest brush to brush away all the powder that was baking on his face.
I look over his face, my smile starts to hurt. I look behind me for the finial touch. I grab the last step unscrewing the top, hearing a pop! As it opens. I pucker my lips motioning for him to do the same.
I glide the pinky gloss over his slightly swollen lips due to the kiss we shared.
Putting the gloss down I let out a soft shriek, pushing his hands off my waist I squeeze past him rushing for my phone. As soon as I come back into the bathroom I snap unnecessary amount of pictures.
“Oh, your in for it now.” Sukuna smirks reaching for my phone only for me to pull away, running out of the bathroom into our shared room.
Giggling uncontrollably like a little girl I go to the living room on one side of our coffee table. He’s right behind me the entire time now parallel to me. In a flash he jumps over the table snatching me up in his arms. I scream as we crash onto the couch. Sukuna grabs my phone tosses it without a single care somewhere on the other end of the couch. He has me trapped beneath him. I wiggle my hands free cupping his face. I gasp “I forgot highlighter!”
He scoffs at me, ignoring my distress. “I did something for you.” He starts taking a pause looking down to my lips. “Now I think it is only fair you do something for me.” I cannot even respond before he smashes his lips to mine much more rough compared to the last one. He picks me up, wrapping my legs around his waist I don’t break the kiss. I run my hands up his hair. He takes us back to the bathroom, putting me down. He walks to the shower starting. He comes to where I am standing pulling my shirt followed by my pants. I tug at his shirt and he does the same. I go into the shower changing the temperature while he joins me.
Lets just say the makeup didn’t last long.
#sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#jjk ryomen#jjk x you#jjk sukuna x reader#jjk x reader#jjk fanfic#ryomen sukuna#sukuna ryomen smut#sukuna fluff#x reader#jjk
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Caffeine Chronicles PT. 1
✮ Jongseob x reader, Soul x reader, Intak x reader, Jiung x reader, Theo x reader, Keeho x reader
✮ 50,525k
warnings: 18+, drug + alcohol use, angst, fluff
“Welcome to Beyond the Bean, what can I get for you today?” He was trying his best to put on a customer service voice, but you could tell by his scrunched up face that he was sick of his required greeting. It didn't take long for Jongseob to recognize you though, washing away any animosity he was feeling towards having to serve any other customer besides you.
Chapter 1
Stepping into the cozy atmosphere of the cafe, there was a brisk breeze of the AC that swept your hair around as you walked through the door. It was a stark contrast of the blazing afternoon heat from outside, something you were desperate to get away from.
The coffee shop was adorned with brown walls and shaggy rugs that met the feet of a plethora of vintage armchairs. There was soft jazz music playing from speakers that was slightly drowned out by the chatter of the other patrons already in the cafe. Behind the counter there were boys hard at work mixing, pouring, blending drinks while another stood by the cash register taking orders.
“Welcome to Beyond the Bean, what can I get you today?” He was trying his best to put on a customer service voice, but you could tell by his scrunched up face that he was sick of his required greeting. It didn't take long for him to recognize you though, washing away any animosity he was feeling towards having to serve any other customer besides you.
“Y/N! I haven't seen you around lately.” He continued, tapping away at the kiosk most likely putting in your usual order. His honey blonde hair fell as concentrated on pressing the correct buttons.
You were flattered that he had remembered your name, let alone remember the last time you were in. You weren't completely shocked though as you had been friendly with all of the staff there, and you must have had to have been coming there for almost a year now, exclusively.
“Jongseob, hey. Life, ya know? I’ve been so busy I haven't even had time to think about grabbing a coffee.” You said, trying to be as vague as possible. You didn't want to tell him the truth, which was how tight money had become these past few weeks. There was no way you had the funds to spend on overpriced espresso.
“Sounds like you really need this then. It’s on me.” Jongseob affirmed with a half smile just as you were about to pull out your wallet.
It was a small gesture but still made you smile back, feeling an uncontrollable redness grow across your cheeks. You’d be a liar if you said you came here just for the coffee. You could go to any of the other coffee shops that littered every block of the city but you chose this place because the service was unmatched; it wasn't your fault that a pretty face went along with it. They could also make a mean matcha latte.
After the courteous back and forth with Jongseob with you insisting on paying, and ultimately losing, you went to pick out a spot in the seating area. You didn't even have to look over to the other baristas to know that coffee was brewing, you could smell the rich bitterness of the beans and hear the whistle of hot milk frothing. There was a rustic worn down leather chair that you sunk into that was towards the side of the cafe. It gave you an excuse to look over to the other guys on shift with Jongseob, busy at work as they got through their string of orders.
You could make out Intak and Keeho on the bar, dishing out shots of espresso over mixtures of different concoctions. Mixing in syrups or simply pouring them over water and ice, the two of them looked like a good team going back and forth and never missing a beat. At the other end of the counter was Shota, looking like he was having trouble with the blender. His thick drink was almost filled to the brim, looking as though it was threatening to make a huge mess even if looked at the wrong way. He looked puzzled as he smashed his finger down on the buttons of the blender but the slushy liquid didn’t move.
Your attention was taken away by shouting at the other side of the cafe where the drive thru window was located. Taeyang was holding his hand with the sandwich warmer wide open, trying his best to lower his voice as he scolded Jiung. Using the clues around you, you assumed Jiung had something to do with Taeyang’s newly burned fingers. When they noticed that a few other guests had averted their attention towards them, they continued on with their duties with Jiung manning the window, Taeyang fishing out the next sandwich he had to heat up.
“Y/N!” You heard Keeho shout, taking you out of your snooping trance.
Getting up from your spot, you left your tote bag that you had slung across your shoulder as you went to grab your coffee. Keeho was standing in front of your cinnamon iced latte with a shit eating grin on his face. You hesitated before picking it up.
“I made it with love.” He cooed, making you snatch your coffee with an eye roll. You knew not to expect anything less than teasing from him.
Settling back into your chair, you brought out the book you had stored in your bag. It was some gushy romance novel your friend was wanting you to read, it was never something you would have picked up on your own. It was only the precursor of your plans at the cafe, the sun was beginning to set by the time you had finished a few chapters. Leaving your bookmark in between the pages you looked up to see Taeyang looking over at you. The moment you caught him staring his eyes averted as he started to pretend to act busy, wiping away nonexistent crumbs on the counter with his bare hand.
Deciding to just ignore it, settling on the theory that he wasn't looking at you, just in your direction. Putting your book back into your tote bag and in turn reaching for your laptop, you did your best with keeping your mind going astray. The computer booted up slowly, the spinning cursor endlessly turning as you felt the heat began to build from underneath it on your thighs. Like many things you owned, you couldn't even begin to guess when you first got this dinosaur. You kept things until they broke; or maybe in this case, in flames.
You couldn't let it bother you, the time crunch you were on didn't need something else keeping you from submitting your article in time. Your superstition told you the less you thought about it, the less it will happen. Opening up your nearly finished work, you skimmed through it trying to catch any grammar or spelling mistakes. It had been days since you first started it, only for you to be completely stuck at how to end the story of the deep dive you had finished on the city’s justice system.
“What are you working on?” The unexpected voice made you jump out of your skin.
Peering over to your left from where the voice was coming from, you saw Jiung sitting in the almost identical chair next to you. It looked like he had made a drink of his own, paired with what appeared to be a breakfast burrito wrapped in brown parchment paper.
“You're on your break and you decided to sit next to me?” You questioned him as he began to unwrap his meal.
“It would be mind numbing if I didn't. Your turn to answer.” He said right as he took a big bite.
Pursing your lips, you gave in. “It's for work. Work that's due in-” You glanced at the clock in the corner of your laptop. “1 hour and 13 minutes.”
“Oh, shit. Get a move on then!” He told you, his mouth still full.
You tried your hardest to keep yourself from smiling but it was no use, watching Jiung thoroughly enjoy his burrito and coffee, intermittently smacking his lips in between bites. It didn't stop you from typing away furiously as you rushed against the clock. One of your worst attributes would definitely be your procrastination, but at the same time you were convinced it made your work all the more better.
Only 20 minutes remained by the time you hit submit, with that being the first time you were able to take a genuine deep breath. You could feel Jiung still sitting next to you, he had long ago finished his food and only had a few sips of his drink left. He had his nose in his phone, typing away until he noticed you had finally stopped typing yourself.
“What are you still doing here? I thought you guys only did 30 minute breaks.” You asked him.
“We do. How could I go back to work without knowing if you beat the clock or not though?” He said mockingly, but with a smile.
You briefly looked around the cafe to notice that the crowd of people had dwindled down to only a handful, the sky had gone completely dark at that point. It wasn't until now that you noticed how truly long your stay had been. It must have been almost time for closing, with the sound of dishes clanking together and machines getting cleaned out in the direction of the coffee bar.
“Well I did, thank you very much! Now it’s your turn to go do your job.” You bantered back.
“And go help those guys clean? No thanks.” Jiung said back with a scoff.
“You know they're going to blame me for you being late back from your break! You don't want me banned, do you? Go!” You used your hand to try to shoo him away.
He gave in, getting up from his seat with a groan. “Ok fine. But you owe me now.” He said once he had stood up.
“Owe you? For what?” You asked, looking up at him.
“Owe me 30 minutes of your time. You couldn't spend it with me now like I wanted, so you’ll have to come back. Though, it wouldn't necessarily have to be here.” He lowered his voice at the last sentence, turning away to walk back behind the counter before you could say anything back to him.
You were caught off guard, you had become accustomed to his banter but never had he gotten so bold. There was never a moment where you felt like there were any wavering feelings the boys had towards you, until now. Watching as he began to refill the beans in the espresso machine, you began to wonder what was behind his words, or if it was just more playful teasing. His request lingered in your mind as you began to pack away your laptop and take the last remaining watered down sips of your drink.
There was a tingling sensation in your legs as you got up from your seat, your body's response to sitting in one place for too long. You made your way to the trash can that was sitting against the end of the counter, catching the attention of Intak who was carrying two large black trash bags in one of his hands. Noticing your empty cup, he extended his free hand out to you, signaling to hand it over.
“Heading out?” He smacked his lips in disappointment. “Follow me out this way.” He said, motioning his head towards the back door that was sitting at the end of the hallway where the restrooms were located.
There was nothing stopping you from following him, if you didn't account for the sour and sweet trash bags Intak was gripping the ends of. He held the door open for you with the humidity smacking you like a ton of bricks once stepping outside. Met witu a dark alleyway with only stars as your only light source, you watched as he opened the large green trash bins and threw the bags in with force. The trash made a wet smack against the bags that were thrown in previously, the sound alone making you grateful you were not in this industry.
Wiping his hands against his pants, Intak walked back up to you once closing the bin. “I didn't ask you out here just so you could watch me throw trash away, I promise.” He said with a small laugh, but you could tell he was slightly nervous. “I was actually hoping you would stay till close. The guys and I were planning on having a bonfire once we finish up in there.”
“Is that your way of inviting me?” You asked, questioning his choice of words.
You could see his ears began to turn a bright red color. “Yeah, if you want to, of course. No pressure, I saw you working on your laptop so I know you probably had a long day-.”
“Will there be beer?” You interrogated, cutting him off.
He broke into a smile, as if he was relieved with your question. “I’d hope you’d know me better than that. There sure as hell won’t be any coffee. So you’ll come?”
You nodded, but were suddenly nervous of the implications, you had never seen any of them outside of the cafe. Of course it had always been friendly, there just had never been a time where there was an opportunity to even ask. You were flattered that Intak had even thought about inviting you in the first place.
“Are the other guys are ok with it?” You asked, even though you were more so speaking out loud.
“Who do you think begged me to invite you?”
Chapter 2
The glow of the fire pit made your skin warm and toasty, the humidity in the air breaking against the heat of the fire whenever it blew in your direction. There was only a little bit wind, but when it did pick up the smoke moved to made your eyes water, the sharp sensation of the fumes from the fire gave them a burning sensation.Taking a sip of your cold beer you tried to calm yourself down, not knowing if it was the heat or your nerves that was flushing your complexion to give you a bright red blush across your cheeks.
When you looked around the woodsy backyard, the 7 of you formed a circle around the bonfire as it crackled. On your left you had Taeyang, with Jongseob sitting beside you on your right. Intak and Jiung were sitting across from you while Keeho and Soul sat adjacent. There were more than one conversation going on at the same time, and you were doing your best to follow along with both of them.
“No, the Concorde is definitely the hardest build. The hinges and retractable tail bumper are crazy difficult to put together. You even have to build some of the inside.” Intak retorted to something Shota had just said.
“But the Crawler Crane is almost a meter tall. It moves too.” He said back to Intak without a waiver of doubt.
“What about the Hogwarts Castle?” Taeyang jumped in.
“That’s just massive. We’re talking difficulty.” Intak told him before going on a long rant about the difference.
Legos? You were the last person to join their conversation. The closest thing you knew were the building blocks you had as a kid, nothing like the sets you've seen some people building. The three of them were passionate about the topic, going back and forth about different techniques which made it hard to keep track. The conversation Jiung, Jongseob, and Keeho were having were much more your speed.
“I think it’s stupid that there’s even a debate. Oasis was the clear winner from the beginning.” Jiung said to the group.
“They might have won the first few battles but I don't think they won the war. Where are they now? Still shit talking one another on twitter? Blur just released and album and you’ve seen how dedicated Damon has been to Gorillaz recently. I’d much rather be on their side.” He said back with poise, but was clearly trying his best not to get into any heated arguments.
“Blur? Is that the one woo-hoo band?” Keeho said, breaking any tension that was brewing. Laughter broke out amongst them, knowing he wouldn't be too active in their conversation as they talked around him.
Crossing your legs, you settled into the outdoor folding chair, the polyester scratching against your skin whenever you shifted. “Isn't this debate like, 30 years old?” You asked the group teasingly.
They huffed out a laugh, Jongseob shrugging, most likely ok with the fact that he ended the conversation strong. If there was one thing you knew about him, it was that he didn't play around when it came to music.
“I need another drink, anyone else?” Keeho offered while holding up his empty beer can.
“I think it's time for me to head out. It’s getting late.” Jiung rebutted. The other conversation sounded like it had ended and their focus was now on the rest of them, with Shota nodding his head in agreement.
“Oh come on! When did we stop hanging out til 4 am?” Keeho moaned.
“When we started having to wake up at that time for work.” Intak said back matter of factly as he began to move the logs in the fire to put it out.
That warranted an eye roll from Keeho, but he sadly obliged by getting up and beginning to fold up his chair. Jiung and Taeyang helped Intak put out the fire while the rest of them packed away their seating arrangement. The strong smell of soot only became stronger the lower and lower the flames got, the light from the fire dimming until there was none left.
The group began to say their goodbyes, promising to see one another later. It was when you were trekking your way back up to the house that you felt a tug on your arm, pulling you back so you spun around, making you face to face with Taeyang.
“I saw you staring at me earlier.” He said, his voice almost a whisper even though none of the other guys were in close proximity.
“I wasn't staring. You were staring!” You retorted quickly. You knew he was talking about in the coffee shop when you had caught him looking at you.
“I wasn't staring. I was trying to see what book you were reading.” He said back just as fast.
You tried taking a step back, but it only made Taeyang take another step forward, making him closer than he was before. His long hair was laying across his temples, meeting against his clear, soft skin. He had an inquisitive look on his face, as if he was expecting you to answer his nonexistent question.
You didn't want to start telling him about the sappy love story you still had sitting in your tote bag. “What’s it to you? Are you doing all of this because you need a recommendation?”
His face changed to a more softer look as he digested your words. “I was just wondering why you were reading something like that.”
“You just said you were trying to figure out what I was reading. How do you know what it’s about?”
“Because I know the cover of a romance novel when I see one. What was it about? Or are you too embarrassed to tell me?” Taeyang said, his voice was playful but it had a slight menacing tone to it.
He somehow managed to step closer, so close that you were able to feel his hot breath against your cheek. You felt his hand grip tighter around your wrist, even if you wanted to run away you weren't able to. Your eyes began to flutter, and you could have sworn you felt his lips scarcely touch yours before you heard a shout.
“Y/N! Don't you still need a ride?” You could hear Jiung yell out from the back door, clearly ready to go. It allowed you to free yourself from Taeyang, him being just as stunned at the unexpected interference. He was able to catch your eyes once more before you turned away, not being able to hide the disappointment in his face. You could also tell it was slightly mixed with a gaze of longingness before turning back to meet up with Jiung.
Your trip home with him was uneventful, except for your thoughts. They were like fireworks in your head, sparking one after another, not being able to stop them from exploding. By the time you got home you had already come up with multiple explanations as to what had just happened that night.
It was nearly impossible to convince yourself that he wasn't trying to kiss you. Stepping into your apartment after saying goodbye to Jiung, you were relieved to be able to kick your shoes off for the first time that day. You had gone straight from the cafe to Intak’s, and it had made you subconsciously hyper aware of your thrown-on outfit, making you wish you had taken more time getting dressed that day. While trying to get undressed, images of Taeyang's close up features flashed whenever you closed your eyes to blink. It made you slightly frustrated, even when you were trying to calm your mind he was still able to find ways to snake his way into your thoughts.
Your relationship with all of the guys had always been simply platonic. You were planning on keeping it that way, there was never a time where you had ever thought of any of them in a romantic way. You were surprised they even wanted to invite you out that evening as it was the first time any of them had ever seen you outside of their work setting. You were flattered and excited to go of course, just shocked at how everything unfolded. You wanted to start questioning every other interaction you had with Taeyang, but stopped yourself by turning the lights off in your bedroom and crawling into bed. It was now the challenge of trying to fall asleep that was ahead of you.
By the time you were itching for another coffee it was Friday, at least that was what you had told yourself. It was because by the time you managed to get over to Beyond the Bean after work it was later than it was usually acceptable to consume caffeine. When the familiar smell of espresso hit your nose as you stepped through the front door, it calmed some of the nerves that had formed in the pit of your stomach.
“Welcome to- oh thank god.” Jongseob said once he saw you. “What are you doing here so late?”
You saw him begin to tap in your usual order before you stopped him. “Wait. I should probably get something different, right? If I have any coffee I’ll be up all night.” You expressed to him.
“So what were you thinking about getting?” Jongseob asked.
“Well…I’m not sure.”
“Do you want me to surprise you?” A devious smile began to form on Jongseob's face as he asked this, most likely concocting some crazy drink for you to try.
“Sure, but you better not make it nasty!” You warned him.
Jongseob's smile was prominent now, his snaggle tooth that you loved in full view. “I would never!” He said back while placing both hands on his heart, pretending as though he had just been shot dead by your words in a playful manner. “You’re going to like it, I promise.” He said as he began to tap in your secret order.
“And I’m paying this time, whether you like it or not.” You teaser back, taking a $10 bill out of your wallet. Without looking up he grabbed the bill from your hand only to stuff it in the tip jar that was placed on the counter next to him.
Once he was done, he looked back up to you. “Hope you like it.” He said with a smile.
You made your way down the counter to only find Keeho, Soul and Taeyang working the bar. You figured by this time they were able to let some of them go home, especially on a night that wasn't too busy. Keeho and Soul’s face perked up once they saw you, Taeyang cowering in the back the moment he spotted you. You did your best to hide any wavering emotion that you wouldn't want appearing on your face.
“Did Jongseob make you order this?” Soul asked you, keeping you from getting lost in thought.
“Yes and no. When the sun starts to set, I try to stay away from anything caffeinated.” You told him. All he did in response was raise his eyebrows, as if to ask if you were really sure.
Once you heard him turn on the blender, you began to have doubts on your order. It wasn't long by the time he handed it over to Keeho to finish the drink off with a heaping portion of whip cream on the chunky blended drink. You had lost track of where Taeyang had run off to by the time Keeho handed over your surprise drink at the pick up counter.
“Hope you enjoy, sweetheart. Did Seob happen to mention what we're planning on doing this weekend?” He asked you. You shook your head no in response as you took the cup from him.
“I want to see you try a sip before I tell you.” He said teasingly.
Your eyes went back and forth from the drink to Keeho, his grin getting wider the more you hesitated. Looking into the drink, beyond the mountain of whip cream, you could see dark chunks mixed in a creamy thick liquid. Gingerly you wrapped your lips around the straw to take a sip, taking a glance up at Keeho once you did.
With a gentle suck at the straw a gust of the drink hits the back of your throat, suddenly throwing you off by the texture at first. You were pleasantly surprised when you realized it was simply just some sort of oreo frappe, something they probably serve to kids when their parents come in for their cappuccinos. While you were taking your first sip you could see Keeho’s face drop the longer you looked up at him. His tan skin looked flushed, his smile had faded into just his mouth slightly agape.
“It’s just oreo.” You said once your mouth wasn't full.
“Um- yeah it’s just..oreo pieces with um. Uh- our base for our frappes.” He stuttered out, but quickly composed himself before continuing. “Anyway. We’re all going up to my parent’s lake house tomorrow. We all had a blast together the other night so we figured we’d see if you’d want to tag along again.”
It took you a moment to figure out how you wanted to respond. A part of your brain was begging you to say no, you usually were spending your days off recharging from the week before. There wasn't any excuse you could come up with as to why not, it never hurt to change up routine every once and a while.
“Sure, why not. As long as I can make it to work Monday morning.” You said back, agreeing to go with them.Keeho’s smile reappeared as he began to map out their plan for the next day.
It wasn't until you were sitting in the back seat of a compact suv, squished between Intak and Jiung, driving hours away to an undisclosed destination that it became clear that Keeho didn't explain everything they had planned that weekend. Keeho had put him in the driver's seat with Shota next to him. Taeyang and Jongseob were following behind them separately, the back of their car filled to the brim with all their suitcases and junk they had brought along for the weekend.
By the time you had all made it to the lake house, the morning had turned into afternoon with the sun beating brightly above you. As you pulled into the driveway of the house, you began to wonder how the 7 of you would all fit. It wasn't small, but it was definitely quaint. It was a ranch style house sat against the water, the garage must have been almost the same size as the rest of the house.
Parking next to them, Taeyang and Jongseob filed out of their car the same time the five of you did. You all began to unload the cars and slowly make their way into the house one by one, hands full with bags and containers to suffice them much longer than just a few days. Dragging your suitcase against the gravelly driveway one hand, while juggling multiple grocery bags in the other, you took your time getting into the house. Your hand was on fire with the weight of the contents of whatever you had bought for the weekend when another hand came up behind you to the rescue, linking their hand under the bag handles to grab it away from you. Next to you was Intak, a friendly smile paired with the chivalrous act.
Thankfully the house looked bigger on the inside, the kitchen being the first thing you walked into once stepping in from the garage. To your right it looked like there was a bedroom and bathroom, with the living room in the back corner to face the lake. You sat your suitcase upright with Intak placing the bags you were holding onto the island that was sitting in the middle of the kitchen, adorned head to toe in wood.
“There's 1 bedroom upstairs, and 2 downstairs. We usually split them up with two to a bedroom, but with you here I suppose you could take the couch.” Keeho explained to you the layout of the house as if he read your mind.
“She’s a guest, guests don't sleep on couches. You can take my spot.” Shota offered, who was standing across the island from you.
“Does that mean I have to share a room with someone?” You asked him.
“Jongseob, but he doesn't take up too much room. I don't think you’ll even notice him.” Shota explained.
You could feel your cheeks turn red as a smoldering heat began to prick at your skin just as Jongseob walked through the door, subsequently hearing his name without any context.
“What about me not making up too much room?” Jongseob asked, slightly out of breath and carrying two large cases of alcoholic seltzers. He looked dumbfounded as to why he heard his name being mentioned without him there.
“You’re sleeping next to Y/N tonight.” Shota clarified.
Chapter 3
The rest of your time spent at the lake house that day mostly included more unpacking, taking your suitcase down to the bedroom you were sharing with Jongseob. Once you were able to twist and pull your luggage down the steps you were greeted with a single queen sized bed as you opened the bedroom door. The room looked as though it was designed by a grandma, with old 80s looking side tables and a plush cotton quilt spread against the bed. You couldn't help but take a deep sigh as you started to take some of your clothes out to put into the dresser that matched the night stands.
The sleeping situation was less than ideal. You weren't exactly sure what you were expecting, but it wasn't this. Your already folded clothes fit snugly into the dresser as you pushed it back closed. You wondered how Jongseob was feeling, if he was glad or felt any petty resentment towards Shota for sacrificing his spot for you. You were still debating yourself.
Just as you finished, you could hear a pair of legs stomp down the stairs and towards your bedroom. Jongseob swiftly walked through the already open door, his eyes widening once he noticed you already in there. His expression quickly changed to relief, his features softening and a smirk spread slowly across his face as if he was proud of finding you.
“We were about to start cooking. Are you a fan of red meat? Intak brough steaks.” Jongseob informed you.
Of course he did. You would never understand a man's love for meat, it was never your favorite but you knew the boys loved it. You were expecting all of your meals that weekend to consist of food made to be cooked on a grill. You weren't sure if any of them knew how to cook on anything else anyway.
“Sure. I’ll be up in a second, do you need any help?” You offered.
“I think we mostly got it. I don't know if any of them will let you lift a finger.” He told you playfully.
You gave him an eye roll as you got up from the crouched position you were in while putting your clothes away. You made your move to exit and make your way upstairs when Jongseob stopped you by pushing you back into the room with a light touch on your shoulder. He had a concerned glint in his eyes when you looked up to meet his eyes, his mouth open as though he was trying to find the right words before speaking.
“I hope you don't feel…uncomfortable sleeping here tonight.” Jongseob said hesitantly.
“No, no it’s fine. I would say something if it wasn't. Besides–”
“Why don't I sleep on the floor and you can take the whole bed.” He suggested, cutting your sentence off.
You decided it was your turn to smack him in the shoulder, a bit harder than he did to you. “Stop being ridiculous!” You told him before sneaking past him to climb up the stairs to get back into the kitchen.
Taeyang, Keeho and Jiung were there, chopping and mixing up the side dishes for dinner. You could see through the sliding glass window that Intak and Shota were out on the deck by the grill, and you could see huge red steaks being placed on top of it, right next to a long line of yellow sweet corn cobs. When you looked to see what the boys inside were making, it looks like Keeho had some kind of pasta salad in the works, Taeyang was chopping vegetables for a medley and Jiung was on dish duty. You were glad to have gone on a trip with this set of guys, as they had already learned how to synchronize and get the job done.
You made your way to ransack the fridge to grab one of the seltzers Jongseob had brought in, leading to the rest of the room asking for one too, almost in complete unison. You watched as they continued their cooking until Keeho had to chill the salad in the fridge until dinner was ready, and Taeyang began to steam his vegetables. By the time they were ready, Intak and Shota were walking back inside to put the steak and corn on the table, with Jongseob rejoining the group from the basement.
Dinner was done just as fast as it had started, the boys wolfing down their plates leaving you the last one to finish. You still had food left over on your plate when you decided you were full and everyone had begun to get up from their seats. The conversation at dinner had been limited, with everyone too busy eating. That was why when the 7 of you went out on the deck to watch the sunset, you were glad you were able to have a chance that day to unwind with all of them.
By the time the sun had gone down below the horizon, you could feel the familiar buzz of the alcohol mixing into your system. The boys just kept getting louder and louder, discussing and arguing everything and anything in between baseball to music videos. You watched as Intak became out of breath by trying to defend one of his favorite sports teams. You tried your best to contribute to the conversation, but there were clearly leading forces driving it.
“Do you guys want to play a game?” Keeho asked the group after taking a sip of his drink.
“What did you have in mind?” Jiung asked him.
“Truth or dare?” Taeyang suggested with a small grin.
There was an immediate buzz in the atmosphere after the proposition. When they all agreed, each of you made your way back inside to form a circle in the living room, making you remember the last time you all hung around the campfire together. Keeho grabbed an empty wine bottle out of the recycling to use, placing it in between everyone.
He was the first to go, spinning the bottle with force. It spun around in a circle until finally slowing down, landing on Shota. “Shota, truth or dare?” Keeho asked.
“Dare.” Shota answered with no one being shocked.
“I dare you to….” Keeho got up from where he was sitting, making a beeline to the kitchen. He came back to the group holding an unopened seltzer. “Shotgun this in less than 20 seconds.” He commanded, throwing the drink towards Shota.
Catching with both hands, Shota began to puncture the can with his teeth before opening the other end of the can with his finger. Barely spilling a drop he was done in far less than the dared time. Once he was finished he threw the empty can back to Keeho, who was displaying a shocked expression on his face. It was now Shota’s turn to spin, it being just as strong if not more than Keeho’s. As the bottle inched between players it finally landed on Jongseob, who also chose dare.
A devilish grin appeared on Shota’s face. “Y/N did you happen to bring any skirts or dresses?” He asked you.
You were taken aback by the question. The answer was yes, but you were hesitant to give Shota that answer. “And what the hell are you planning on said dress or skirt?” You asked back.
“Make Seobie wear it! I know he’ll fit.” Shota confessed with a giggle..
You snorted out a laugh, shocked by his plans. “I think I have the perfect thing.” You told him, getting up from your place on the floor to grab the dress you had packed away in the bedroom downstairs.
Digging through the dresser you found the sky blue babydoll mini dress with a square neckline and ruffles sewn in at the bottom. The straps were small with bows attached to the top of them, making you grab the matching hair bow you had brought along to match the outfit before heading back upstairs.When you had passed the threshold and the boys were able to see what you had brought up, it warranting some shocked looks when you fluffed it out to all it’s glory.
“It’s it cute?” You asked the room.
“I wouldn’t blame Jongseob if he hated you after this.” Jiung told you. It made you look over to where Jongseob was sitting while he was trying his best to put on a brave face.
“Ok, fine. I’m taking it off the first thing this game is over though.” Jongseob gave in.
He got up slowly, making his way over to you as he grabbed the dress out of your hands. He was just wearing a sleeveless tank top and some sweatpants, similar to the rest of the room who was wearing whatever they felt comfortable with sitting in for the hours-long road trip they just had. So with his new attire will be making him stick out like a sore thumb with him about to be extremely overdressed compared to everyone else.
While he went to change in the upstairs bathroom, the living room hummed with anticipation. It wasn’t long by the time you heard the door of the bathroom open again, the sound of Jongseob’s footsteps growing louder the closer he got to making his way back with the others. When his oatmeal blonde hair made an appearance through the entryway of the door with a glimpse of light blue fabric threatening to peek through the door frame. Your stomach flipped as you began to second guess your decision to give him one of your outfits. All of that disappeared once he stepped into the living room, in full view for everyone to see.
The dress hung against his shoulders loosely, the thick cotton texture being too heavy for the bow shoulder straps to hold up against his small frame. It showed off his bare arms, which made you notice the lean muscle around his biceps that you had never been able to see before underneath his uniform, or the baggy clothes he usually sported outside of work. As he slowly walked closer to the group you could hear laughter erupt from the other guys who were watching Jongseob make a fool out of himself. The dress ended at his knees, the large flowy fabric at the end of the dress made his legs look smaller than usual. It was like the dress was eating him whole from the bottom up, as if some cotton candy monster was trying to consume him.
Taeyang let out a smoldering whistle when Jongseob walked in with his head down, already looking defeated. His long golden hair covered most of his face, but even so you were able to get a good look at the hot red flush he had all the way down to his neck. There wasn't anything you could do but stare, except for trying to keep your jaw from coming unhinged.
Jongseob quickly made his way back to his spot in the circle. When he did the dress engulfed him more, encapsulating his legs when he sat down with a big poof. “This isn't a zoo, everyone can stop staring at me.” He told the 6 sets of eyes on him.
It made you look around to see that the other guys were in the same boat as you, their eyes captivated on Jongseob. You had seen that he had even obliged to putting on the hair bow you had brought up, sitting at the top of his crown messily clipped in. Taking a drink of your seltzer, you took a larger sip than usual, finishing your can.
“It’s my turn to torture you guys.” Jongseob told the room as he got to his knees to reach over to spin the bottle. It spun around until it stopped sharply at Intak, who’s derpy, careless expression quickly turned more tense.
When Jongseob asked him truth or dare, Intak chose truth. “What's something you’ve never told anyone? Not even us. Like, your deepest darkest secret.” Jongseob asked.
Intak leaned back so his hands were behind him in a relaxed position as he mulled over the question. From what you could tell he was having a hard time coming up with something good. It was when you noticed that the hairs on his arms began to stand up that you knew something had changed, his face turning stone cold as if he was trying his best not to show anyone his true emotion at that moment. Unfortunately for him, he was surrounded by people who knew him too well.
“Spit it out! We know you thought of something.” Keeho said, egging him on.
Intak shifted, moving his legs so his knees were against his chest with his arms around them. With his head down he murmured something under his breath, no one being able to hear him. The rest of the boys began to do the same as Keeho, telling him to raise his voice, to speak up, to say it louder.
“I’ve never kissed anyone! Ok!” Intak finally admitted with an irritated tone, most likely not wanting to admit that information around his friends.
The room got quiet for a moment while everyone stared at Intak, until Jiung began to cackle under his breath that turned into a full on laugh. “That’s so stupid. Who cares.” He said in between laughs.
It made the rest of the room laugh with him, and Intak’s irritated look melted into an embarrassed one, a bright pink color splotching across his cheeks as the boys teased him relentlessly. It made your heart strings tug a little since you knew it probably took a lot out of Intak to admit that.
“You can kiss me if you want.” You blurted out, your impulse control shot with how much you had to drink that night.
The group turned their attention onto you with stunned looks. There was an awkward pause while Intak took his time to respond, looking more nervous by the second. It wasn't Intak who broke the silence – it was Keeho.
“Holy shit! If you say no I’m going to beat your ass.” He told him.
Intak's face looked flushed as he looked between you and Keeho. “No. Not right now, I don't want-”
“Come on! Don't chicken out now, when do you think you’ll be able to get a chance like this again.” Keeho told him, not letting go of his persistence. It made the rest of the room start to egg him on in a loud drunken mess.
“I SAID NO!” Intak yelled out, breaking his cool. His expression immediately went back to embarrassment, probably not expecting the shout himself.
Keeho put his hands up in defeat, knowing when to quit. The room was filled with a tenseness in the air, not quite making any of them in the mood for any more truth and dare. They had the rest of the weekend to get on one another's nerves. That led to everyone saying goodnight to head to bed, as it had gotten later than you all anticipated. The hostile air that swirled around them turned into an awkwardness once they all tried departing in their separate ways. You saw Jongseob bolt from his spot in a blue blur, running back downstairs to change out of the frilly dress.
Not going downstairs just yet, you headed to the opposite end of the house to the kitchen to grab some water before going to bed. You were already anticipating the headache you were planning on waking up to the next morning as you grabbed a glass from one of the wooden cabinets that hung above the counters. You thought about trying to find some advil but didn't want to go rummaging through drawers or have to go bother someone. Settling on your sink water, you chugged the whole glass down while trying not to think too hard about what just happened. You should have never said anything, it was better when you kept your mouth shut. It was something you had to learn early on and yet you still end up running your mouth only to lead you into situations like this, ultimately leaving someone hurt.
While turning to leave, you were surprised by a heavy force that was standing behind you, blocking your way. It took you a moment to realize it was Intak, standing unconventionally close which made you let out a small squeak from shock.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to spook you.” He apologized with both hands in his sweatpant pockets. He was dressed head to toe in black, wearing a matching graphic hoodie on too. “Can we talk? Maybe outside?” He asked you.
You nodded back. Intak then led you to the end of the kitchen where the deck was, opening the door for you to slide through silently. When you walked outside you noticed the dark sky had been lit up with stars, far more than you would see in the city. There was a hush sound of crickets that picked up and carried whenever the wind blew. You could feel the hairs on your arms begin to stand when Intak stood next to you, his face twisted into an emotion you couldn't read.
“I want to apologize, about earlier.” He had one of his hands at the nape of his neck, rubbing nervously back and forth. “It wasn't that I didn't want to, but–”
You cut him off, speaking over him. “You don't need to apologize for anything. I shouldn't have asked in the first place. It’s ok.” You explained.
“That’s not..” Intak began, trying to find his words. He shifted his weight from one leg to another, the features on his face scrunching. “I just didn't want to do something like that in front of everyone. It’s not exactly how I pictured my first kiss to be.” He told you, trying his best to tell you where he was coming from.
Your stomach churn, Intak was the last person in the group you would expect to not have experienced any type of intimacy. The only thing that made sense was that you knew how shy he could get, he was so good at getting inside his own head. That was why when you felt the liquid courage control your next moves you did nothing to try and stop.
You were standing so close next to Intak that you could see the pores around his nose and the scar that was placed in the middle of his cheek that you’d miss if you weren't looking close enough. “How do you picture your first kiss?” You boldly asked.
It felt like the deck had closed in on the two of you as he flicked his eyes up to look at you. Your back was pressed against the metal railing with Intak standing in front of you, his body tensing up at your question. “You’re just going to laugh at me.”
Giving him a sincere look, you shook your head no. You were sure you wouldn't do anything close to that, you were already feeling bad enough for making him so embarrassed. You looked into his dark brown eyes with only his long lashes getting in the way whenever he blinked. There was a tiredness behind his eyes but they were glazed with a ditzy flustered look that spread across his face.
Before he answered you, Intak cocked his head back to look up into the sky. “Do you see the stars up there?” He asked, his head still turnt up.
“I saw them when I came out. They’re beautiful.” You told him, your voice barely more than a murmur.
Your response made Intak turn his head back to look at you again. His eyes moved back and forth across your face as if he was trying to study it, making you suddenly more reluctant in your boldness.
It was like he had noticed, pushing further by taking a step closer to you so that your hips were now digging into the railing. Even so, there couldn't have been more than an inch of space between Intak and yourself. You could feel his breath against your skin, so much so that knew by the way he inhaled that he was about to speak.
“I’d picture you under the stars like this.” You felt his whisper against your cheek. “Kissing you until there wasn't any more of your breath to take.” He told you, making you feel your eyes uncontrollably flutter.
There was silence that only broke when the sound of Intak pressing his lips onto yours echoed. It was shy, his mouth pursed tightly until you placed one of your hands around his neck and slowly started to snake it through his hair. You felt him melt against you, his pillow lips softening just as you pulled away from him.
Opening your eyes you saw Intak still had his closed, watching as he slowly began to open them to look back at you. His ditzy expression was still apparent but it had turned slightly more serious.
“Thank you? I think.” Intak said, confused about how to show his appreciation.
“Um, anytime, I suppose. I should probably…” You told him, pointing towards inside trying to signal that it was well past the time you were planning on heading for bed.
“Yeah, shit, sorry. Goodnight Y/N.” Intak told you, giving you enough room for you to be able to get past him to go inside.
Opening the slide door back up, you looked back to see Intak still standing there and not looking as though he was planning on going inside with you. That made you close the door behind you, doing your best to silently walk across the house to get to the basement. The stairs creaked at every step you took making you wince, hoping you weren't disturbing anyone's beauty sleep. Especially Keeho’s. You especially knew you didn't want to see him running on anything less than 8 hours.
You were already in comfy enough clothing to justify changing into pajamas, and fair too tired to brush any teeth. Walking down the hall to your designated bedroom, you noticed a dim light coming from the crack in between the door and floor. Opening the door the first thing you spotted was Jongseob sitting up in the bed, his bright phone in his face as he tapped away repeatedly.
From everything that had happened the past few hours you nearly forgot you had a roommate. When Jongseob saw you walk in he froze, closing his phone. It made the room suddenly go pitch black, making you unable to see anything. You heard Jongseob swear under his breath as he fumbled around on his phone as you waddled towards the bed, doing your best to walk the length in the dark. You were already sliding under the covers by the time he was able to get his bright light back on, his futile attempt ending in defeat.
Once your head hit the pillow you could feel exhaustion take over. Shifting so you were looking over to Jongseob, you caught him already staring at you. He quickly moved his head so he wasn't anymore, instead looking straight forward. From what you could see had changed into a simple white shirt for bed, looking much more relaxed wearing that now.
“I can sleep on the floor if you want.” He offered, already getting up from his place before you grabbed him by his wrist, forcing him back into bed.
“It’s not weird unless you make it weird.” You told him, your grogginess taking over with every word.
Closing your eyes, you were immediately catapulted into sleep. It was the sun shining in between the window curtains that woke you the next morning, making the first thing you noticed when you woke up were your limbs entangled with Jongseob’s.
Chapter 4
The first thing you did that morning was carefully try to take Jongseob's wandering arm that had found itself draped against your torso. It took time to untangle your legs without him waking up, but you managed to successfully free yourself before bolting through the door. Your breath was rapid as you made your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth and splash some cold water on your face. You felt a headache brewing around your temples, the consequences of drinking too much last night.
You felt an embarrassing heat stretch across your face even though you were alone, staring at your reflection in the bathroom. You felt lucky to have woken up first that morning, knowing you would be 10x more flustered if Jongseob had found you wrapped around him. After taking some deep breaths in the mirror, you were able to make your way up to the main floor. The house was still mostly quiet, the faint chirping of birds coming from outside. Walking through the kitchen to stand by the glass door, you could see the sun had barely poked itself up from under the horizon. It was meeting with the water, the calm lake began to glisten in the light. Looking out onto the deck, you couldn't help but remember the kiss you had shared with Intak.
You and him were just friends. You were helping a friend out. You know that Intak would've done the same thing if you were in his shoes. You know that ever since you kissed him all you could think about was how his lips felt against yours. How when he broke away and opened his eyes to look at you, his bashful expression had revealed how he was thinking, reflecting . You stopped yourself from thinking about what kind of emotions were swirling around Intak’s head when you heard shuffling noises coming from the living room.
With a long cream blanket draped over his shoulders, Shota emerged with a messy head of hair. From the looks of him he either had the best sleep of his life, or the worst. “Y/N? Are you ok? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” He asked with a concerned look.
“I think I just might have.” You said back half heartedly.
“Wait, really? Where?” Shota’s mood perked up immediately.
“No, not really. I was being figurative. Do you want some coffee?” You asked, trying to change the subject as best as you could.
“What do you mean by that then?” He pressed, not letting go of his curiosity.
You debated telling Shota any information that was swirling around your brain. It wouldn’t be crazy for you to think that he would go run off and tell the boys everything you said. He looked concerned when it took you a moment to respond, your ability to ignore telling him what was going on had passed. You tried coming up with something quick, but it all came out as a jumbled mess.
“Nothing, just ignore me. Just still reeling from last night. Currently nursing a pretty nasty headache.”
“Oh, sorry to hear that.” Shota said, his face falling with concern. “I’ve got something to fix that.” He was off, shimming off his blanket to reveal his t-shirt and shorts and heading straight to the fridge.
Opening the silver doors, Shota rummaged through the fridge to find a carton of eggs and a package of bacon. Turning around, he placed the ingredients onto the counter by the stove before grabbing a frying pan. It didn't take long for him to cook up a serving of fried eggs and bacon for the two of you, when he placed your plate in front of you the smell of grease entered your nose, not yet noticing a difference in your condition just yet.
Shota sat next to you at the kitchen table, his lean arms were flexing at each bite he took, wolfing down his own breakfast. When you were just about to finish your eggs, you could hear someone else’s footsteps coming towards the two of you. Intak and Jiung emerged from the direction of the bedroom that was upstairs looking groggy and disheveled. They had probably been woken up by the wafting smell of breakfast.
“What’re we having?” Jiung asked, his voice hoarse with sleep.
“There’s no we. I made Y/N breakfast.” Shota told them shortly.
“Damn. Giving her special treatment, you’ve never made me breakfast before!” He retorted back.
Shota didn't reply back, finishing off the rest of his own plate. Jiung playfully rolled his eyes before going to fix himself a bowl of cereal. Intak had already started making a pot of coffee that was beginning to become fragrant, finishing off the perfect smell of morning. It was strong enough to wake the rest of the boys out of their slumber, Taeyang, Keeho and Jongseob reaching the kitchen within minutes of one another.
Keeho sat down next to you once he had gotten his serving of coffee and cereal. Smiling at you as he sat down, the two of you exchanged good mornings when you noticed how perfect he looked even if he had just woken up. His eyes still seemed tired but it didn’t hinder the sharpness of them. You could tell he had just washed his face, his cheeks slightly pink from the friction. He was so pretty, you had to tell yourself to stop staring.
Once you had finished your breakfast, you sat there as the others trickled over. Shota had done the same, observing everyone who was coming and going. Jongseob had sat on the other side of you with just a cup of coffee, his messy hair all over his face. He had put on a hoodie and some reading glasses, he looked like he could have slept for another 12 hours.
Looking over to you, it was like a deer getting caught in headlights. It felt like you had been caught, and had to think of something fast to justify the staring. “How did you sleep?” You asked him.
Jongseob shrugged, his lips going into a pout. “Not complaining.” He said casually. He took a sip from his mug, his glasses getting foggy from the hot coffee as he did. It slowly disappeared once he had placed it back down. “What about you?”
Now was not the time to be truthful. No way were you going to tell him you had woken up with him wrapped up against you. Or that ever since you had gotten up from bed you could still feel where his legs were tangled with yours, the skin on fire with the memory of his touch. “It was fine. I woke up pretty early.” You mustered to say.
“It wasn't because of my snoring, was it?” He asked half joking, half concerned.
“Don't worry, you don’t snore, it wasn't because of that.” You said truthfully.
He seemed relieved by your answer, but didn't reply back to confirm. Your attention fell back with the group as they discussed their plans for the day. Shota suggested swimming, Taeyang requested shopping in the tiny downtown district the town had, while Jongseob asked if they could rent some jet skis for the day.
“Why don't we hang out here for the day, maybe go downtown tonight and grab dinner?” Keeho said, compromising the two ideas. “If you're going to pay for it we can Jongseob.” He said, the expression on Jongseob's face turning sour.
They all agreed on the plan, making Shota rush to get his swimsuit on. The rest of them separated like a meeting had just adjourned, some of them going to change while others lingered around the kitchen. You decided to get into your suit too, the sun has risen enough that you thought you could probably get a good tan. Getting up from your place, you took your plate to wash in the sink and headed back downstairs. Just as you reached the steps you heard your name, making you turn your head to see Intak had followed behind you, with only the two of you standing in the hallway.
“Hey, Y/N, I just wanted to talk to you for a second.” Intak started, a blush already creeping across his face. “About last night.”
There was a pause. “What about last night?” You asked him.
“I just thought about it after and I don't want it to mess up the friendship going on. I can't have it be awkward between us.” He whined out the last part, similar to how a child acts when they don't get their way.
You scoffed, followed by a laugh. “It’s going to take a lot more than that to get rid of me, I promise.” You reassured him.
“Ok, promise?” He asked, lifting up his hand to hold out his pinky finger.
Locking your own finger in his, you fought giving him an eye roll as he proceeded to grin once you had agreed to the pinky promise. “Can I go swimming now?” You asked once lowering your hand.
He shooed you off, his long legs turning around to head back into the kitchen. Climbing down the stairs you were thankful to see that your room was empty. Closing the door behind you, you started to look for your swimsuit in the piles of clothes you had made the day prior. Once you had found it, you began to take off your clothing one piece at a time. Shimmying on your blue bottoms you heard movement from the hallway beyond the bedroom door when suddenly, it opened.
You jumped out of your skin, suppressing a scream from coming out of your mouth. As quickly as you could, you scooped your chest into your hands to ward off any unwelcoming eyes. It was too late though by the look on Jiung’s face once you caught eyes with him.
“Shit! Oh my god. Oh my god. Jongseob asked me to grab– it doesn't matter. Sorry.” Jiung blabbered out with one foot out the door already. Just as quickly as he had entered he was out, closing the door behind him with too much force sending a small shockwave across the walls with a loud snap.
You were able to breathe again once he was gone, trying not to let it bother you that he had just gotten a free viewing of your boobs. Quickly, you put on your bikini top so that there wasn't another chance of that happening again.
Once you were completely changed, you made your way out to the backyard where the lake met the small sandy beach that was behind the house. The sun felt good on your exposed skin, you had opted for a sheer chiffon wrap skirt as your coverup, matching it with your blue bikini. Shota and Keeho were currently the only other two down there, floating aimlessly around the shoreline in inflatable tubes. Even in his relaxed sitting position you could see Shota’s toned stomach and his small arms were purely muscle, you were surprised that he could hide all of that under a t-shirt.
A hand was placed on the small of your back, so unexpectedly that you couldn't help this time but to yelp out in shock. Next to you was Taeyang who had wrapped his arm across your back, settling his roaming hand on your side where your hips met your waist. He had a coy look on his face, probably proud that he got the reaction that he wanted out of you.
“You didn't forget about me, did ya?” Taeyang asked with the same look on his face.
“No, you’ve been avoiding me.” You said flatley, not looking in his direction but towards the lake.
“Not true.”
“Yes true!” You doubled down, the back and forth reminding you of the conversation the two of you had at the bonfire. You whipped your head back to see he had his swim trunks on as well, you could feel a part of his bare skin against yours as he pressed his side up against you.
Reaching down, you pulled at the tied wrap that sat on your hips. “I haven’t even gotten the chance to tell you about my book.” You said to him, taking a step forward so that his arm dropped from your waist. In turn your wrap fell to the ground, leaving you in just your bikini
“Well?” He had a puzzled look on his face.
You had started to make your way down to the beach before stopping to look back at him. “Do you think you deserve to know?” You asked while giving him a teasing grin, then turned back towards the lake.
Once your toes reached the water a cold shockwave raced up your veins. Your body had to adjust to the temperature of the water as you slowly inched yourself in, Keeho and Shota not paying any mind until you were brave enough to sink completely down, making it a big deal of dunking your head underwater with a splash. Slicking your hair back once you emerged, Keeho was watching as you came up from the surface. Seeing that he was distracted, Shota came up from behind and with a swift motion and had Keeho’s tube flipped upside down, with him flying out of it and into the water.
“Hey! I just dyed my hair, I said I didn't want to get it wet!” Keeho shouted the moment he had popped his head back up from under the water. Keeho swam over to Shota and with his arms gave him a big splash, leaving Shots drenched himself.
“Mine’s going to turn green now!” Shota shouted back, his bleach blonde hair now partially wet.
That didn't stop Keeho from splashing him again, making Shota jump out of his tube himself. When he launched himself out he had barely missed Keeho but instead belly smacked right onto the surface of the water. You decided that your quick soak was enough to suffice you, not wanting to get in the middle of whatever the two of them were getting into.
Getting back onto the beach you were able to see that Taeyang had laid himself out on a towel that was adorned with pink seashells. He had his eyes closed as he tanned in front of the blistering sun, and you weren't entirely sure if he had fallen asleep or not. You didn't stay to find out as you made your way to your own towel that you had left for yourself and walked back up to the house.
Jongseob was sitting on the bed when you walked into your shared room. He was on his phone again, his legs propped up to give him more leverage with holding it as he tapped away. It took him a moment to realize you were standing there, his eyes widening slightly as he took in your wet appearance.
“Hope you had a good swim.” He said before getting back to his phone. You didn't even think he registered that a bikini clad girl was standing right next to him, too preoccupied with whatever game he was playing.
“Yeah, the water feels nice. You look like you're avoiding it though. Can't put your phone down for 30 minutes?” You teased, crouching to get a new set of clothes from the dresser.
“Me and the sun don’t get along.” Jongseob told you. It was something you should have accounted for, with pale skin that looked like it had never had a drop of vitamin D.
You told him you’d be right back, changing in the bathroom down the hall. After putting on some loose fitting shorts and tank top, you brushed out your hair that was taking its time to dry. Walking back into the room Jongseob was still on his phone, his attention unwavering.
Deciding to follow in his footsteps, you went to sit next to him on the bed. Getting under the covers you could feel the warmth he had accumulated under it which was in stark contrast to the blowing AC in the house. Taking your phone out, you began to scroll through your social media which had felt like something you hadn't done in days.
Without realizing you were tired, you felt yourself dozing off with your phone still in your hand. There had been a comfortable silence between you and Jongseob while you parallel played together. The last thing you remembered once you closed your eyes was an almost petting motion on top of your head as a hand softly ran through your hair.
Chapter 5
Waking up, you couldn’t tell if the soft petting you felt before falling asleep was real or not. Jongseob was asleep next to you, with his eyes closed and his mouth slightly open. Rubbing the sleep out from your eyes you did your best to try and wake up from your heavy sleep. You weren’t even planning on it, but it seemed like the sun was already starting to set, making you wonder how long you had slept for. You weren’t tangled with Jongseob this time allowing you to sneak out of your side of the bed without disturbing him. Making your way out of the bedroom you could see all of the rest of the lights were off except for a dim flicker coming from upstairs.
Marching up the steps, you were expecting to at least hear some hush voices but there wasn’t a peep once you got to the main floor. Walking towards the light, you were met with a single lamp in the living room. Jiung sat there alone with what looked like a notebook, scribbling down something busily.
You stood near the end of the couch, trying not to spook him, with him being so deeply concentrated. “Hey. Jiung?” Your voice was soft and low.
He still jumped a little, and turned to look over to you. His piercing eyes looked you up and down, but then went back to his writing. “Lord, are you trying to give me a heart attack?” He asked playfully.
“I did my best not to! I swear!” You said, trying your best to sound convincing.
Once he seemed finished with his writing, Jiung closed his notebook and went back to looking over to you. “I’m surprised you're up. I thought everyone was sleeping.”
“Well, I was. Didn’t even realize I fell asleep.” A small laugh escaped your lips.
“I thought the plan was for all of us to go to dinner.” He said, but it sounded almost like a question.
With his words, you felt your stomach begin to talk. “I don’t think I’ve eaten since breakfast if you still want to go.” You offered to him.
His expression perked up. “Thank god, I really didn't want to order delivery.” He told you, getting up from his place on the couch.
The two of you did your best with changing out of your comfy home attire into something more presentable to the public, being quiet enough not to wake any roommates. You both got out of there without disturbing anyone, taking one of the cars to some seafood place Jiung had raved about. It couldn't have been more than 20 minutes by the time you were seated across from him in a sizable booth.
The restaurant was cute; colorful string lights hung from the ceiling, the walls were made with worn wood to mimic the siding of a ship. There was a comfortable silence between you as you looked over the menu, which was covered in options for every type of fried fish. After ordering your meals, Jiung looked at you with a half smile on his face.
“Thanks for coming with me.” He paused. “You didn't have to, you know.”
“But I wanted to.”
“Yeah? Why?” He asked, his tone slightly teasing.
“Because I like hanging out with you? And didn't you say something about owing you?” You replied.
He chuckled. “Ok sure, we’re even. Well then why do you like hanging out with me?” Jiung pressed further, his eyes studying your face.
You sat there for a moment, putting on a show for him to see that you were thinking hard, scratching the top of your head and a scrunched up face. “That’s a great question. But you're not going to hook me into your compliment fishing.” Teasing back.
He rolled his eyes, realizing his badgering wasn't going to work. Just as he looked like he was about to say something when your food arrived, the sudden smell of greasy fish infiltrated your senses.
You began to munch on the fries that came along with your basket, until noticing Jiung hadn't even started touching his food.
“I know why I like being around you.” He said straight on.
Instead of going in for a second bite you looked over to him with a careful expression. He stared back, but wasn't letting you see any emotion written on his face. “But you don't get to know if I don't get to know.” He said playfully, cutting the sudden tension that had formed between you.
He began to dig into his dinner as if nothing particular happened, hopefully meaning he didn't notice how your breath caught in your throat when he revealed that. After talking yourself down you were able to enjoy the rest of your food with him, the silence from the beginning returned as they ate. There was the occasional chatter, but by the time the two of you made it back to the house you noticed you hadn't shaken the feeling that Jiung meant more to his words than he let on.
Getting out of the car, the air still felt warm against your skin even though it was dark out, the occasional light coming from lightning bugs roaming around in the grass. You had started to walk up to the front door of the house when you heard Jiung get out of the car himself.
“Y/N! Wait.” He did his best to amplify his voice but still keep it a whisper until he caught up to you. “I didn't get to go swimming earlier, would it be weird if I went now?”
“Weird? No. The water might be cold though.” You told him truthfully, not knowing why he was acting as if he was self conscious with his actions, that wasn't like him.
“Come with me. It will feel good with this humidity.” He said, already trying to convince you.
“I don't even have my swimsuit, I’d have to go back inside and wake everyone up.” You said, not knowing what his plan was either.
“Why does that matter?” He asked. You noticed the space in between you and Jiung had grown close enough for you to notice when his eyes flickered, his expression turning from friendly to something more wicked. “I’ve seen you in less.”
He smirked, turning around to the backyard leaving you there in the driveway to digest his words. Your brain short circuited for a moment– you had completely forgotten how he had seen you change. With no one around you could feel your face turn hot, and with a rush of adrenaline you started to try and catch up with Jiung who was half way towards the beach.
“Delete that image from your head!” You demanded once you got within earshot of him. All it did was make him laugh under his breath.
Jiung just continued his way down until his feet reached the sand. You stood where the grass met the sand, a gravely texture mixed with a soft dampness. Noticing you had stopped he turned back to you, kicking his shoes off in the process.
“Are you, or are you not getting in with me?” He teased, but had a straight face as he gripped the ends of his t-shirt. Lifting it above his head he revealed his torso, throwing the garment into the sand. Something you were never able to notice was how he had multiple tattoos displayed across his chest down to his hips. You couldn't help yourself but to drink in the sight of them, tracing them with your eyes. He seemed to notice, another smirk forming on his lips as he began to undo his belt buckle.
There wasn't any way for you to back out now, the sound of the small waves crashing against the beach grew louder as you took the steps to reach the sand completely. Looking down at your clothes, you cursed in your head for the fact that there wasn't anything you could spare to the gross lake water. Throwing all of your rationale out of the window you began to mimic Jiung by taking off your top, revealing the basic bra you had thrown on before dinner.
You followed suit with your shorts, kicking them off and making a run for it to the water. You could hear Jiung behind you try to quickly undo his jeans to try and catch up. Your toes were the first to hit the lake, chills running all the way up your legs until you had to stop in the shallow water to adjust to the temperature.
Without warning Jiung came up from behind you, his arms snaking in between yours to wrap around your waist. Your feet were lifted from the ground, making a shrill scream come out from your mouth. You felt his arm flex against your bare skin and the sound of water sloshing underneath you as he took you into his arms. Almost as quickly as he picked you up, he dropped you with a spin in the water, submerging both of you completely.
The cold water in contrast to your warm sticky skin was a shock as you popped your head back up above the water. Jiung was already there, a shit eating grin on his face, clearly feeling accomplished. You instinctually splashed a handful of water towards him, but couldn't help but to laugh yourself.
When you did, Jiung was able to catch your outreached hand with a simple swoop. He pushed your hand closer to him which made your body weightlessly move towards him under the water. He was suddenly only inches away from you, watching you with dark eyes.
“Do you know why I like being around you?” He asked, his voice was able to be low, almost a whisper being so close to you.
He let your hand free, but you didn't move from your place. All you were able to muster up was a head shake, wide eyes looking back at him. You felt one of his hands rest on your hip, another had found itself pressing against your jaw. Lowering his head, you could feel his breath hitch before pressing his lips on yours. It was quick, he broke the kiss to look back at you, trying to read your face. With the absence of his lips your response was to reach behind his head and grab at his hair, bringing him back towards you. That was all he needed to start kissing you again, this time with more hunger.
You kissed him back, not stopping him from licking his tongue onto your mouth. You could feel his nails dig into your hip, the hand holding your face inching down your neck. You could feel yourself getting carried away, pent up emotions you didn't know you had coming out from over the weekend. You moaned into his mouth once his traveling limb reached your breasts, Jiung’s hand cautiously pushing its palm above your bra.
The grip you had on his hair tightened, making you press harder against his lips. He was clawing at your underwear when he abruptly broke away from the kiss, shifting away in the water so that you were slightly apart from him now. His breathing was rapid, his bare chest that was peeking above the water rising and falling. He was looking at you, but when you went to meet his eyes he looked away.
The collected Jiung was nowhere to be found as he looked down nervously. “It’s getting late.”
“You’re right, we should probably head back.” You said, trying not to have any sound of defeat in your voice. You could have stayed there all night, but didn't want to push him.
Swimming the short distance to shore, Jiung led the way to your fallen clothes on the beach. From your viewpoint you were able to get a glimpse of another tattoo on his shoulder blade, a large piece that flexed and moved with his back muscles. The only thing he was wearing were gingham boxers that had been soaked through, which mostly revealed his complete physique as he stepped out of the water.
Before you could stop yourself from staring, Jiung's was able to look back to catch you. It warranted an eye roll from him, but you also caught a smile forming once he turned back. You knew going back to bed was pointless at this point; you knew there was a sleepless night ahead of your grueling road trip home the next morning.
Chapter 6
The drive home was a bumpy one. Besides the fact that you were running on no sleep, there was heavy traffic which forced you to call out of work. They all had woken up at the butt crack of dawn to try and get home before having to clock in but there was no way you’d be getting there in time. The seating arrangement on the way home was the same as the way there– squished between Intak and Jiung. It just so happened to have to be the two people you locked lips with over the weekend, but it was only you who was aware of that.
“Did you have fun Y/N?” Shota asked over his shoulder in the passenger seat when the scenery around you was finally starting to look familiar.
You felt a pinch at your thigh from where Jiung was sitting, choosing to ignore it. “I always have fun with you guys.” You told him, trying not to get into much detail.
Shota hummed in response, looking glad that you had enjoyed yourself. Their car had turned into your neighborhood while Jongseob and Taeyang drove past, going their separate way home. You said goodbye to them briefly before walking back into your apartment. The first thing you did was immediately kick your baggage into an undisclosed corner and peel off your nasty roadtrip clothes into something comfier. It couldn't have been more than 10 minutes by the time you got home that you were tucked away in your bed, ready for a nap.
When you woke up, only a few hours had passed by. Tossing over in your bed you noticed the sudden rush of pressure pain shooting up your neck, pulsating. Your nose was stuffed enough for you to only be able to breathe out of your mouth and when you did, the sound of phlegm and mucus echoed. You groaned loudly in the empty apartment; you were sick.
You tried getting up, but your body ached to move. You thought of what you could have done to catch something, settling on the late night dip you had the night previously. You began to wonder if Jiung had any symptoms when there was a knock at the door, banging just loud enough for you to hear it from your bedroom. You had no choice but to get up now, your tight muscles inching towards the door. Opening it revealed Keeho, who was holding up your bag in his hands.
“Hey– wait, are you sick?” His playful face turned concerned once he saw the condition you were in. “I think you forgot this in my car, but now I’m scared you infected all of my stuff.” He was now dangling your purse with only his fingers before you grabbed it out of his grip.
“I fell asleep after you dropped me off and I woke up like this. I didn't know I looked that bad.” You told him, placing a hand on your own cheek.
“No no! Here, let me go grab the guys-,”
“Don't you dare!” You yelped, grabbing at his shirt
to stop him from turning away. He let out a squeal at the feel of your touch, batting away your sick hands.
You stepped back, giving him enough distance. “I can't be going around infecting all of you, can I?” You tried to reason.
Keeho grimaced. “If you say so. I’m still texting them though.” He said, and turned away before you could get a hold on him again.
It wasn't long before you heard another knock at your door, this time you were at least half expecting it. Even if Keeho had only informed the group about you being sick, you knew better that they wouldn't just sit around and not do anything about it.
In between the time when Keeho left and the knock at the door, you were at least able to shower and feel a bit more presentable. When you opened your door this time, Intak was standing there with what looked like a big carton of noodle soup.
“Hey. I heard you were sick.” He said. “I figured you hadn't eaten so I brought some food over.”
“Did Keeho send you?” You asked flatly.
Intak began to stumble over his words. “N-no! He told me yeah, but it was my idea!” He explained, a fire in his eyes as he tried to defend himself.
“And your plan was to come to my bacteria-filled apartment?” You continued, your voice sounding thick.
“Stop playing around!” Intak whined with a pout. “Let me heat this up for you.” He pleaded.
Letting him past the door, Intak made his way straight to the kitchen. He began to look through your cupboards aimlessly before you had to help him find the right pot he was looking for. The soup was quick to warm up; only taking a few minutes before steam began to swirl its way up from the stove. You preemptively grabbed a bowl and spoon before Intak started to rummage again.
Your stomach growled at you once you sat at the kitchen table with your hot bowl of soup. You could still hear Intak in the kitchen as you started to eat, only for him to come sitting down across from you with his own bowl.
“I don't think you want to get too close to me.” You told him, trying your best to suppress a cough.
“I don't mind.” Intak said between bites.
“You don't mind if you get super sick?” You were confused by his nonchalant attitude.
He shrugged as you noticed he was practically done with his soup, while you had more than half of yours left. “I’d get to use some sick time I’ve been saving up at work.” He told you truthfully.
That made you laugh, but it slowly turned into a coughing fit. You felt Intak place his hand on top of yours as reassurance, checking to see if you were ok. You shooed him off quickly, making him straighten back in his chair. A wheeze was the only thing coming out of you when you caught a concerned look from him.
Intak got up from his place at the table to go searching in the kitchen again, finding a plastic cup in one of your top cupboards. Filling it with water from the sink he handed it over to you from behind, sitting back in his chair as if the chivalrous act was routine for him.
After taking a sip, you thanked him. “You don't have to stick around, you know.” You told him weakly.
“I know.” He was starting to look nervous, a rosy red color had begun to wash over his ears. “I want to. Besides, the weekend didn't feel long enough.”
Once you had finished off your meal, Intak swooped in to grab your empty bowl to whisk it away to the kitchen sink. You couldn't even begin to start lifting a finger before he was there already doing the task for you. You felt your heart seize up, making you worried that it was another symptom, or worse– it was because of him.
Getting up from the table, you found Intak drying his hands with one of the rags that were messily propped against the stove. He looked up at you with a solemn expression that only became more concerned as you wobbled from the table over to him. “You sure you're good to stand?” He asked, extending his arms out towards you in the case that you tripped in his direction.
His consideration of your well being was touching, but you were able to make it to the counter which you leaned most of your body weight onto. “Ok, Superman. You can go home now.” You told him, because if he did anything more for you, you were going to start feeling guilty. He didn't need to be doing all of this in the first place.
Intak’s eyebrows furrowed as he glanced at you. “You're acting like I’m being forced to be here. I’m here because I want to.”
“But I should get going. I have a shift tomorrow morning that I probably will still have to make even if I do get sick.” He continued.
“Thank you. For coming over and everything.” You felt warm with the soup in your belly and knowing there was someone out there thinking of you.
Intak smiled, saying his goodbyes before stepping out the front door. You sighed when he left, shuffling to the couch and flipping the TV on. There wasn't even a chance for you to catch your breath before you heard another knock at your door.
You tried smoothing down your disheveled hair before you had to open the door for your third guest in under 12 hours. Poking your head out, Jongseob was standing there with a grocery bag that was spilling out, filled with a plethora of different things. He was wearing a big t-shirt over loose fitting sweatpants, looking like he just rolled out of bed himself. His eyes were heavy as he gave you a small smile.
“Keeho told me you got sick after the trip so I brought you stuff.” He said while handing over the heavy bag.
“Hello to you too. Did he tell everyone?” You asked, annoyed that it felt like the whole town was stopping by.
“He sent it in the work group chat.” Jongseob revealed, warranting an eye roll from you. There was a discussion to be had with Keeho later.
You swatted him in and closed the door behind him. Walking behind him your eyes traveled to the bag he brought you, looking like it was filled with medicine, gatorade, candy– everything a sick person would need. You smiled, the caring gift not going unnoticed.
“Thanks for bringing all this. I didn't actually have any cold medicine around.” You told him, immediately breaking open the box.
He came over to you once he saw that you were struggling getting the capsules out of its packaging. He grabbed it out of your hands without asking to pop them out himself. Giving them back over to you, you muttered another thank you under your breath with less sincerity this time as your hand brushed against his. After taking your medicine with one of the gatorades he had gotten you, you offered a seat on the couch to Jongseob. He happily took it, plopping down on your sectional.You took a seat next to him, the loud TV still blaring whatever crappy reality television show you had flipped on.
“Did you want to watch a movie? You asked him, figuring if you told him to leave he would definitely protest, and you were far too tired for that.
Jongseob nodded, making you flip on a random movie from one of the streaming services you had. You sunk into the cushion of your couch trying to get comfortable as it began to play. You felt him do the same next to you, his attention on your TV as the beginning credits started. You did your best to pay attention but found yourself stealing glances over to Jongseob beside you.The glow of the TV was the only thing illuminating the apartment which casted a gentle light onto his face whenever the scenes changed.
The exhaustion that was weighing on you only pulled you deeper into the couch, making it difficult for you to concentrate on the movie. Jongseob’s occasional gasp or laugh added a layer of warmth to the atmosphere that made your eyelids heavy, and despite your attempts to stay awake you could feel yourself dozing off.
“Hey, Y/N, did you want to go to bed?�� Jongseob mumbled over to you, his velvet voice in stark contrast to the harsh sounds coming from the TV. After registering his words in your half asleep state that was when you realized that you had unconsciously rested your head against his shoulder.
You sat back up, a flush of embarrassment creeping across your face. Rubbing at your eyes, you attempted to shake off the drowsiness. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” You told him.
Rising from the couch, your exhausted body using the last of its strength to drag you to your bedroom. Jongseob followed behind, switching the movie off so that the only sound of the apartment was now the shuffling of your feet. You stopped at the door, turning around to face Jongseob.
“I should probably get going.” He said to you with a half smile.
“Wait.” You said, probably way too quickly. “Do you mind staying?” You asked. It wasn't normal for you to be this bold, maybe the virus had begun attacking your rational thoughts as well.
His half smile softened, his eyes filling with concern. “Yeah, I can stay. Is everything alright?”
“I’m fine. It’s just– I think I’ve come accustomed to having you sleep next to me.” You explained.
You could see Jongseob was trying to hold in a laugh, ultimately unable to keep it in. When he did, it showed off his snagged canine that you had grown to adore. It still made you push him lightly with the palm of your hands in embarrassment.
“Sorry! I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you.” He sputtered out another uncontrollable laugh, the blush you were feeling taking full effect across your cheeks. “Ok, maybe a little. But I understand.” He said, getting more sincere.
You still scowled at him, turning around to head for bed without another word to him. As you got under the covers, you could feel your stomach churn with nerves. Jongseob got in on the other side of the bed, his head hitting the pillow with a tired huff. Turning on your side, you looked at him inquisitively.
“Could you run your hands through my hair like last time?” You mumbled, drowsiness taking over once again. Figuring you could blame your sickness for your new found courage.
Nothing came out of Jongseob as he laid on his back, his eyes already closed. You didn't even know if he had heard you before you felt a delicate touch on the top of your head.
Chapter 7
When you opened your eyes the next morning you were in the same predicament as you were at the lake house. Limbs tangled with Jongseobs, this time it was you who had managed to get your arm around his chest. You laid there as the sun peeked through the blinds of your bedroom window, taking your time waking up.
You felt a stir underneath you, a groan coming out of Jongseob as realization hit him that he had awakened for the day. You stayed in the same position with your eyes closed hoping he didn't notice you were up as well, not wanting to have to explain why you had gotten so close to him during the night.
There was a hand placed on the top of your head, you could feel Jongseob begin running his hands through your hair like it was a normal thing that he did now. You weren't complaining, it was cute how most of the time when he did, he didn't know you were awake to experience it. You gave him the chance to stop his repetitive motion as you began to lazily shift in your ‘sleep’.
“Morning. How are you feeling?” He asked once you had opened your eyes, his hands long gone from your scalp.
You had moved so that you were no longer wrapped around him, when Jongseob woke he didn't do anything to stop you from pressing yourself up against him. You couldn't keep his eye contact, too embarrassed that you had to peel yourself off of him.
“I’m ok.” You said, right before your body caught you in your lie, choking on a wet cough that made you have to catch your breath.
“You sure as hell don't sound ok.”
“I’m fine!” You told him after your coughing fit, sitting up in the bed.
Jongseob sat up with you, shuffling to swing his body out of bed. He watched carefully as you tried to do the same, your weak limbs failing you mixed with a spinning head made you have to lean one of your hands onto the bed to steady yourself. With a look of concern Jongseob came over to your side to help you, his gentle hands helping you stabilize.
“Where are you going? I don't think you should leave the bed.” He told you.
“I feel so gross, I need to shower or something.” You said, feeling your hair stick to the back of your neck.
“You can barely stand and you want to shower?” Jongseob teasingly asked. “Don’t you think a bath would be better? Help your muscles and stuff?”
You took his suggestion, with him helping you to the bathroom and began to run the water. He sat at the side of the tub occasionally placing a hand under the water to check on the temperature. With his attention preoccupied you were able to drink in his appearance, he looked the same as the night before but more disheveled. His hair was every which way, making his already casual outfit looking worn in. Looking closely, you could even see some patterned indents displayed across his arm from keeping it in a sleeping position for too long.
“I think it’s ready.” Jongseob said, getting up from his spot. There was a filled tub behind him, some steam rolling off the top, like a smoke signal calling for you.
“Thanks, I promise I won't drown.” You joked.
“At least you are feeling well enough to tease me.” He said back, walking out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
You were now alone, allowing you to strip off the clothes you were wearing and get into the warm water. Sinking down into the tub you immediately felt your tight muscle begin to ease, the water releasing tension that has been building up. You sat there for a moment as your body got used to the changing temperature. Relaxing into the water you unleashed a deep breath that you didn't know you were holding in.
The lap of water against the tub was the only thing you could hear as you reached for the bath products that were sitting at the corners of the tub. You noticed Jongseob had even placed your loofah in arms reach so you didn't have to do any reaching. You felt a surge of gratitude towards him, never thinking that he would be the one to take such good care of you. Though, you already knew there was more than meets the eye when it came to Jongseob.
You put a large glob of shampoo into your hand with the intention of lathering your hair, but as you extended your arms above your head you felt a shock wave of pain shoot through them. Your hands fell back into the water in defeat, the wasted shampoo dissolving in the now soapy water.
Your strength allowed you to at least use the body wash to clean the rest of yourself with the sudsy water, but you were still stuck with the dilemma of not being able to wash your hair. You struggled with the decision of asking for help, ultimately not knowing what else to do but to call out for Jongseob from beyond the closed door.
With your back towards the door, you could hear the creak of the hinges as Jongseob cautiously opened it. “Did you call my name?” You could hear the confusion in his voice.
“I can't wash my hair.” You said in defeat.
The next thing you heard were Jongseob’s footsteps growing closer until there was a thumb at the end of the tub. “Hand me the shampoo.” Jongseob directed, pointing to the bottle at the other end.
He was doing his best to keep himself behind you not to see, but when you went to grab the shampoo bottle you could see that he had turned his head to the side, his eyes averted from your naked body. It made you wonder if he had caught a glimpse of something he shouldn't have, or maybe afraid that he might.
After lathering up his hands, Jongseob began to rub and scrunch his hands into your hair, more vigorously than when he had his hands in your hair previously. It still felt good as his nails ran the length of your scalp, all the way down to the ends of your hair to get every inch covered in shampoo.
“Rinse.” He told you, dipping his hands into the bathwater below him to wash the soap off of them. He then turned his back to you so that you could submerge your body into the water without worrying about his eyes. You could feel your heart begin to swell once you had your eyes closed with your back flat against the floor of the bathtub. You couldn't even begin to think about how to repay him for the kindness he’s shown you.
Jongseob then helped you finish your bath by running conditioner through your hair, following your directions to keep it from reaching the front of your head to prevent greasy hair. He snickered at the request but still went along with your demands. When it was time to rinse again you lowered yourself back down, suds coming to the surface of the water even though you could still feel the weight of shampoo and conditioner lingering on your head.
“Jongseob?”
He kept his back to you. “Yeah?”
“I need your help getting all of the conditioner off.” Your voice was quiet, embarrassed to have to ask for help.
He sat there without moving for what felt like eternity before he slowly inched his way around. You had placed your hands over your chest but it only did so much, watching as Jongseob tried to keep his focus on the task at hand. His touch was soft but deliberate, tilting your chin with two of his fingers making your hair cascade into the warm water. They moved to run through your hair once again, washing away the rest of the soap that was on your hair. The feeling of his fingers was soothing yet sparked at every touch, causing your heartbeat to quicken slightly.
When he was almost finished you felt his fingers brush against your neck, lingering for a moment longer than necessary. He pulled away urgently once you eased into the touch, snapping him back from whatever he had his mind on. Shaking off the excess water, Jongseob sat up from the tub, going to the other side of the bathroom where there was a towel hanging. Handing it over to you, he had his head turned back again, keeping his eyes off of you.
“I should get going.” Jongseob said, no particular emotion in his voice.
“Thank you. I’ll be repaying you somehow– I promise. I keep my promises, I didn't drown right?” You said.
He began to walk out before stopping at the door frame. “Just let me know when you feel better.”
It wasn't long by the time you made your way from the bath back to your bed once Jongseob left. You spent the rest of your day in and out of sleep, trying to wear down the attacking bacteria inside your body. The bath had made you ache less, but you were still dealing with the major congestion that was taking up space in between your sinuses.
You weren't feeling normal until the following day, and even then you still had a runny nose and a dim headache. You were finally able to make it back to work, getting to the point where you’d rather be working than staying inside doing nothing. It was when you were getting ready to leave for the day that you felt your phone vibrate.
XXX-XXX-XXXX: hey its keeho
XXX-XXX-XXXX: i dont think you have my number saved
Y/N: i dont, so how how did you get it?
Keeho: not important
Keeho: ok i grabbed it from a pickup order you did a while ago but for good reason
Keeho: are you feeling better?
Keeho: im throwing intak a surprise birthday party on friday and want you to come
Y/N: for the most part, i think. what do i get out of it?
Keeho: me?
You rolled your eyes at Keeho’s texts while saving him into your contacts. You were excited for the new found plans to look forward too, especially after the week you had been going through. By the time Friday rolled around you were free of all of your symptoms and finally able to breathe through your nose again.
Getting home that day you immediately began to divulge into picking an outfit and refreshing your makeup for a night out. You decided on a little black dress and smokey eyes to match, teasing your hair to put some life back into it after your long day at work.
Keeho had told you that they were throwing the surprise party at Intak’s, wanting him to show up after closing the coffee shop to get jumped by a crowd of people. When you arrived you were wondering how Keeho was planning on doing that as you watched people spilling out of the house.
“Y/N! I didn't know you were coming.” You heard someone shout from the house as you made your way up. As you got closer you could see that it was Shota, a red solo cup in his hand and a big grin on his face.
“You got here just in time. Intak just texted saying he’s on his way.” Shota informed you. He pulled you into a tight hug, making you smell the sharpness of his cologne mixed with sweat that was clinging to his body.
After he let go of you, Shota made you follow him around the house, weaving through hoards of people that were strangers to you. When the two of you got to the kitchen you spotted Keeho and Jiung fixing themselves drinks with the wide variety of alcohol that was displayed on the kitchen counters.
“You’re here! Didn’t know if you were going to make it or not.” Keeho told you, pouring an ungodly amount of tequila into his cup. “Did you want something to drink?” He asked.
“Sure, but I’m not sure if I want you to be the one to make it.” You teased.
“Don’t worry I can make you something good.” Jiung spoke up before Keeho could protest.
Mixing a few of the liquors with unidentifiable juices, Jiung concocted a drink in a red solo cup filling it with his mystery cocktail. Looking down into your cup the liquid was a dark, intimidating color that you had to convince yourself to take a sip of. Fortunately for you the taste was pleasant, the mixer taking over the strong taste of alcohol. You gave Jiung a smile and a thumbs up for his hospitality, with him reciprocating a smile. Since you had been busy being sick, you had almost forgotten the kiss Jiung and you shared at the lake house. You felt a rush of relief by Jiung’s laid back attitude, afraid that he would start acting aloof or ignore you when you saw him that night.
The party went on until Keeho shouted to everyone that Intak was going to be there at any minute, making the large crowd do their best with hiding. Crouching behind the couch that was in the corner of the living room, you tried to make yourself as small as possible. You were squeezed in between Shota and Keeho after turning all of the lights off, waiting for Intak. The roaring noise of the party had dimmed to only whispers, trying to look as if no one was home. It was when you heard the front door unlocking that there was a burst of commotion, Intak walking through the door to the screams of his friends wishing him a happy birthday.
Intak’s face lit up, completely shocked by the surprise party. Turning the colorful lights back on, the party was back in full swing with the loud music making the walls thump with the bass. Intak was bombarded with celebratory wishes and a number of drinks handed to him, including a happy birthday from you. Intak’s grin only grew larger when he saw that you had made it, his wide eyes sparkling as he thanked you for coming, like he was the one who had orchestrated the whole thing. There was only time for formalities before Intak got swept away with more birthday wishes from all of his friends. That left you with only Keeho by your side, Shota long gone and already in the dance circle that had formed in the middle of the living room.
“Do you want to dance too?” Keeho asked you, noticing your focus on Shota moving around like he was possessed– his limbs lively popping around to the beat of the music.
You looked up at Keeho, getting taken out of your Shota trance. You were beginning to feel the effects of the drink Jiung had made you, which told you to say yes. Taking you by your hand, Keeho
whisked you away into the crowd of party goers. The music pulsated throughout your body as the two of you began to dance together, swaying your hips in unison with Keeho. Your rhythm synced with him as he pressed his torso against yours, placing both of his hands around your waist. The feeling of Keeho being so close made your stomach flip, a warm flush spreading across your cheeks.
Keeho’s hands guided you gently but firmly with his eyes following you. You were moving together seamlessly when you saw his face shift into an unhallowed expression, his mouth shamelessly ajar as he watched you dance. The alcohol in your system was making you feel liberated from your internal worries, your mind completely free of any uncertainty you might have had before.
“I’ll be right back.” You said to Keeho, leaning up into his ear so he could hear you over the loud music. The drink you were sipping on was also flowing through you, making you fear the need to use the restroom.
Walking down the narrow hallway of the house, you found the bathroom at the end after working your way through clusters of people. Once you were done and washing your hands you looked yourself over in the mirror, shocked to see that most of your makeup had stayed intact after the intense dancing session. It made you reflect on how you had been trying to hold up these last few weeks.
Swinging the door to leave, you were suddenly face to face with Keeho again. Did he follow you over there? Why? He had the same look as he did while you were dancing with him; heavy eyelids with a small smirk on his lips.
He motioned his head for you to go back into the bathroom. “Can we talk?”
“About what?” You asked, walking backwards until you startled yourself by your back hitting the sink.
He took you in before replying, studying bottom to top from what you were wearing to how you had styled your hair that night. “I think about you more than I want to.”
Your breath caught in your throat, without the bravery running through your veins you knew you wouldn't have been able to do anything but freeze. Instead you pulled him close by his neck for an urgent kiss.
He reciprocated immediately, deepening the kiss by embracing your cheek with one of his hands, the other going into your hair. Your synced breaths had become rapid as he licked into your mouth, Keeho not being able to suppress a moan as your hands began to explore his torso. They were traveling downward before reaching the belt buckle that was around Keeho’s waist. That was when he broke away, his expression mixed with confusion and extacy.
“What are you doing?” He huffed out.
“This is how you’re thinking about me, isn't it?”
You bent down, moving so that you were now on your knees now staring at his belt buckle, your hands beginning the process again of undoing it. Looking up at him you found him already looking back with nothing but lust in his eyes. In a haist you were able to undo the button of his jeans, hooking your fingers into the waistband of his underwear to remove them at the same time. His clothing falling to his ankles, Keeho’s half hard cock was now exposed withyour spit soaked hand already on a mission until it was hard against his stomach, precum helping you as you stroked against his shaft.
It was then you took him into your mouth, a muffled groan coming from Keeho as he tried to suppress it with his hand over his mouth. His other hand instinctively went to the top of your head as you sank your mouth around his cock. His grip only got stronger when you began to move, you only stopping occasionally to lick around the head in a swirling motion.
Your eyes caught Keeho’s again when you looked up with your mouth still around him. His expression had completely changed; his pupils were blown and he had his teeth clenched together, exposing his tight jawline and cheekbones. When he caught you looking back you saw him inhale sharply, cursing out profanities under his breath as he exhaled. It only invigorated your pace, hollowing out your cheeks as you kept eye contact with him.
“You’re going to make me– fuck–”
Keeho’s hips hitched forward, the hand on top of your head strenuously making you stop as he came down your throat. He choked out a cry as he did so, his body arching over so that he had to use his other hand to catch him on the bathroom sink. You kept him still by placing your hand against his hip bone with your other around the bottom of his shaft, sucking him clean until making a sharp pop as your lips left Keeho’s cock.
Straightening himself back up, Keeho was still out of breath when you made your way back to your feet. The lustful look he was giving you before was washing away, leaving just a dazed demeanor displayed across his face.
“Why?” Keeho managed to let out.
“Why what? Did you not want me-” You began before he cut you off.
“No! No, you’re amazing. Never mind, forget I asked.”
There was a moment of silence between you before you spoke again, turning to go back to the party.
“Why not?”
Keeho sneered at your response, followed by a smile as he followed you out. “I need another drink. Do you want one?” He asked once you were both back in the hallway.
You took up his offer with a thank you, watching Keeho run off into the crowd to shimmy his way towards the kitchen, leaving you to wait where you were. There was an awkwardness that settled in as you stood there alone, the effects of your drink wearing off after the previous events that had just transpired that had changed your sloppy sense into pure adrenaline. It was why when you felt a tap on your arm you flinched, only for the touch to pull you towards whoever had startled you.
Intak stood there with his heart shaped lips upturned, his eyes filled with grief. “What were you doing in there with Keeho?”
Chapter 8
Looking at Intak you could tell he had too much to drink, his forceful pull was out of character for him most likely due to him not knowing his own strength in this state. His eyes were glossed over, the usual round shape of them being hooded making you wonder if someone had given him weed? Or had he been crying?
You were in a state of shock as he kept his hand on your shoulder, more so for him to steady his wobbling posture. You were debating on telling him the truth, it wasn't his place to ask anyway. Pushing his arm off of you, Intak stumbled slightly at the sudden jolt. That only made him come up close to you, his face close enough that you could see the indents of the scar that lined his right cheek.
“Did he fuck you?” Intak’s voice full of disdain.
His next question hits you like a ton of bricks. Maybe he was crying before he grabbed you. “Intak, please. Let's not start anything right now, we can talk later ok?” You tried easing him down, placing one of your palms on his chest.
“Answer me.” He demanded through his teeth.
“It’s none of your business.”
You had never seen Intak act like this before, and you couldn't blame it on the intoxication as you had previously spent multiple weekends with him. If you were to think about it though, one of those weekends the two of you shared a kiss. It wasn't supposed to be anything though which made you all that more confused. Sticking your feet in the mud, you still didn’t want to give out any information other than you needed to.
“What does it matter to you anyway?” You asked harshly.
Intak’s eyes were now looking as though he was a deer caught in headlights, his mouth open like he was about to answer when you felt a tall presence standing next to you.
“What matters?” Keeho asked as he stood in between you and Intak with two drinks in each of his hands.
Intak was still focused on you. “Forget it.” He muttered, walking past the two of you to get back to the party and simultaneously end their conversation.
Keeho turned to you, confusion written all over his face as he passed a cup over to you. “The hell was that about?”
You let out a sigh. “Beats me.”
Nursing your drink, you followed Keeho around like a puppy dog until you decided it was time to head home. You were able to catch up with the rest of the boys in the meantime, but after your conversation with Intak you didn't see him for the rest of the night. After saying your goodbyes, your head was spinning from the alcohol and the unfinished conversation.
When you got into bed that night, you couldn't get Intak off of your mind. He looked so hurt when you first saw him, there had to be an underlying meaning to everything he was asking you. It wasn't until the next morning when everything that occurred had nestled into your brain with you feeling the full effect. The first thing you wanted to do was to figure out what exactly Intak was trying to talk to you about.
The thing was, the only number you had saved in your phone was Keeho’s. You didn't even know if the man was up for the day yet or not, let alone know if he would just give out his other friend’s number. Your only other option would be showing up unexpectedly to Intak’s place for a second time.
Y/N: keeho
Keeho: yes?
Y/N: do you have intaks number?
Keeho: duh
Y/N: can i have it
Keeho: no
His response made you pause. Through text you were terrible with how something was supposed to come across as, leaving you torn between thinking Keeho was being his snarky self, or if he was actually trying to withhold Intak’s info from you. There's been a lot of things you weren't sure of recently, making you second guess everything.
Y/N: please?
Keeho never responded, leaving you with an embarrassing feeling in the pit of your stomach and no phone number. You wish you could kick yourself for never asking any of the other guys to exchange numbers, but never did you think you’d be caught in a situation like this.
It was why you found yourself at the steps of Intak’s door, knocking hard enough that you were sure you were heard. There was a commotion behind the front door before it swung open, revealing an unkempt Intak. Rubbing at his eyes, it took him a second to realize who was standing in front of him.
“Y/N?” Intak’s voice cracked.
“Hey. I didn’t want to just show up like this, I didn't have your number..” You trailed off.
Peaking your head over Intak’s shoulder, you noticed the mess that had accumulated from the previous night. Cups and mysterious liquids all over the floor, there was even an upturn table. You must have made a face because when you looked back at Intak his tired expression had turned into an embarrassed one. His ears were a hot red color and he couldn't keep eye contact with you, his eyes darting across the ground.
“It looks like you need help cleaning…can I come in?” You asked, trying to sound as sincere as possible.
All he did was nod back and move out of the way so that you could step through the door frame. The place was in a chaotic disarray that would definitely require more than one person to clean up. The trash cans overflowing with bottles and cans, in the kitchen there was even a cake that had found its unfortunate demise by falling off the counter, splattering all across the tile floor and the cabinets around it. Finding a broom tucked away in between the fridge and an end counter, you got to work.
Intak stared at you as you began to sweep up the dry trash that had gathered all around the floor, figuring it would be easier to pick it all up if it was all in one place. It was like he was stuck in place before springing into action himself, pacing to crouch under his sink and grab a handful of garbage bags. The two of you started to create a system as you cleaned around the house; you swept up the trash while he bagged it.
You weren't expecting to, but spent the rest of your morning making Intak’s home more presentable, throwing bag after bag away after stuffing the reminders of the previous night into them. The majority of the time it was spent in silence with the only sound between you two being the rustling of plastic or the crinkly sound of the aluminum cans. Stealing glances over at Intak as you worked, you couldn't pinpoint exactly what he was thinking as you watched him pick up trash by the handful.
The silence was heavy. It allowed you to reflect on what Intak had said to you the night before, not being able to hide a grimace on your face as you remembered his question. Did he fuck you? The whole reason you came over was to finish the conversation he had started and yet you were stuck cleaning up the aftermath of a party you didn't even want to really go to in the first place. Intak must have noticed your scowl by the way he walked over with his big brown eyes paired with a furrowed brow. He pressed his lips together as if he was trying to find the right words before allowing himself to talk.
��I appreciate your help, but I know it’s not what you came over to do.” He began, not being able to help his voice from sounding fussy. “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn't have come up to you like that, forget I said anything.” He ended his sentence quieter than he started.
“That’s why I came over. I can't just forget, there was a reason why you pulled me aside.” You confessed to him, hoping he would do the same.
The embarrassing redness that was once on Intak’s ears had colored his skin again, except this time it spread across his cheeks and down his neck. He let out a sigh that sounded like he had been holding it in and broke your eye contact by facing the ground, inevitably feeling the heat that had formed on his face. “I didn't want you in there with him.”
Realization slammed into you, his words making you understand the reaction he had. You could feel your heart race faster as his confession sank in, the air around the two of you shifting. His envious urges swirled a mix of emotions inside of you which made you inhale a deep breath.
“You were jealous?”
Intak’s head shot up to reveal his red cheeks and pursed lips. “A guy like Keeho is only out for one thing. You deserve better than that.” He said back quickly with a firm voice.
“Someone better, like you?” Part of you was trying to get to the bottom of why Intak’s acting the way he is, the other half wanting to see how many buttons you could push.
Crossing his arms, Intak let out a huff before replying. Unexpectedly his round eyes were sincere as he looked at you, like he was trying to tell you something without having to use his words.
“I don’t–” His words failed him as he struggled to omit his feelings. “I’m not good at this. When I saw you leaving the bathroom with him, I got this feeling I had never felt before. It made me aware that I care about you. A lot.” Intak’s voice was much softer, full of warmth.
You took a step closer to him, placing a light hand on top of his crossed arms. “I’ve always known you care about me.”
“Not like this.”
There was a vulnerability in his eyes that you had never seen from him before. He uncrossed his arms making your hand fall, but he quickly grabbed it to lock it with his. The tension that was once in the air had melted, replaced with a warm uncertainty.
The next few days you couldn't help but to continuously rack your brain around with thoughts of Intak, so much so that you had even begun to fall behind on work. You were restless at night; tossing and turning until the early hours of the morning leaving you exhausted the next day. It was like a parasite had crawled into your ear that started feasting on your brain.
You were so out of it that after a particularly strenuous day at work you found yourself walking into Beyond the Bean after swearing off the place in fear of running into the number of employees you had locked lips with. It was too late once you had noticed, a frazzled Shota recognizing you the minute you came through the door.
“Hi Y/N, please don’t order anything.” Shota shouted from the espresso bar, swamped in an array of cups. Looking around you couldn't spot anyone else behind the counter, a lone Shota being the only one fulfilling orders.
“Where's everyone else?” You asked him after walking up to the counter closest to him.
He took a minute to respond, concentrating on the drink he was currently making. The tip of his tongue was poking out as he finished it off with a heaping dollop of whip cream, applying the perfect amount to fit around the dome lid.
“Everyone called out sick.” Shota told you, starting on a new order.
Guilt washed over you knowing that it was most likely you who had infected everybody. You watched as Shota worked through the pile of order tickets until there were none left and patrons began to trickle out of the cafe. He was left with a pile of dishes and a mixture of different liquids all splattered about on every surface imaginable, swearing you even saw some in his hair.
“Can I help clean up at all?” You offered to him, feeling partly responsible for his disastrous shift.
Shota’s face lit up with the proposal, but it quickly turned skeptical. “That sounds like a health code violation.” He said innocently.
“Ok. As long as you're fine with staying here till midnight, or whenever you end up getting out of here tonight.”
It didn't take much for Shota to be swayed, but told you to wait until there wasn't anyone left in the cafe for the night. Once the last person walked out, he went and locked the door behind them and turned the open sign to close even though they had close to 45 minutes left of the scheduled opening time. He put you to work as the designated dishwasher while he started on the closing duties for the night.
There were piles and piles of cups and containers to go through, your best bet was that the only dish Shota was able to wash that night were the ones he absolutely needed. The sudsy water filled the large metal basin as you started your task at hand, hearing Shota begin to collect the trash and replacing the old bin liners for new ones. Waiting for the sink to fill up he caught your attention by bending down, exposing his underwear.
You felt your mouth fall open, swearing your jaw was going to detach from its hinges. For the short moment Shota had bent so his shirt ran up his back, the waistband of his pants riding low enough to reveal the thong that had ridden up for you to see. It was black and thin, the fabric cutting into his hips from the elastic. Standing back up the intimate garment was lost under the rest of his clothing, only leaving the image seared into your memory.
Turning back to your dishes, you had to frantically turn off the faucet for the fact that the sink was inches away from overflowing, threatening to spill all over the floor. Trying to make yourself as preoccupied as possible, you did your best with going through the dishes thoroughly but with a quickness. It was the drying rack that was now overflowing, having to stack everything like a game of Jenga. As you finished up, Shota had moved onto sweeping and vacuuming the lobby, then finished the night by counting the money in the cash register to make sure they were all good for the morning.
“I owe you one, seriously.” Shota told you once the two of you headed out.
You walked next to him, not knowing where you were going until after a few minutes Shota slowly stopped in front of a two story building. It was old with brick siding with symmetrical windows on each side that fit in the rest of the buildings that were on this block.
“I have some beer and left over pizza inside, it’s not much but..” He trailed off.
“Wait, you live here? I could never live this close to my job.” You exclaimed.
Shota shrugged, suppressing a laugh as he turned to lead you inside.
Chapter 9
Shota’s studio apartment was tucked away on the first floor, the small eclectic space had almost every surface covered in little figurines, showing off his personality without having to use any words. The carpet flooring under your feet was a bit worn, matching with the rest of the lived in apartment. It was a dingy little place but you figured it was perfect for someone like Shota. His living room doubled as his bedroom, the kitchen at the far end corner against the back wall. You could feel his eyes on you as you took everything in, most likely wanting to see the reaction on your face as you judged his living space.
“Make yourself at home,.” Shota told you, walking towards the back of the apartment to look through the fridge once he was done analyzing you.
As he rummaged, you took the opportunity to take a seat in the nearest chair, a well loved arm chair that was made of wood and a soft layer of fabric to contain all of the flattened upholstery. It was comfortable in a well-used kind of way that spoke of countless hours spent lounging around. Glancing over to the bookshelf across the room, you could spot multiple figurines anywhere from Godzilla to little cartoon characters. It showed off the playful side of Shota that you liked so much. The noise coming from the kitchen grew louder, the sound of glass and plastic clinking against each other echoing through the room. Shota walked back over to you with a defeated look on his face after he closed the fridge, a beer in each hand.
“I guess I don’t have left over pizza.” He told you, his voice sounding just as defeated as his expression.
“Don’t worry about it, I wasn’t that hungry anyway.” You reassured him.
He gave you a weak smile as he handed over your beer, which you happily accepted, cracking open the top to hear the crisp bubbles of the liquid inside. Shota perched himself on the edge of the bed that was across from you, crossing his legs into a criss cross position and took a sip from his own can. You could feel his eyes on you once he sat down, his position looking slightly uncomfortable as a slightly awkward silence formed in the air. As you looked around the apartment and admired the string of posters that hung about his tv that was positioned at the end of the bed, trying to come up with something to break the stiff tension.
Your mind couldn’t help but to wander, thinking about the underwear you saw Shota wearing earlier. You could feel your face get hot as you remembered the details, the thin strings that held the garment together, how it looked like he had gotten a size too small making the sides squeeze in the little body fat Shota had around his hips.
“Did you want to play Mario Kart?” If Shota had noticed the changing color of your face, he didn’t say anything about it, his virginal expression giving you a look of innocence as he challenged you to a race.
You nodded, not trusting your voice to embarrass yourself further. Shota hopped off the bed to boot up his Nintendo Switch and turned the TV on. He handed you one half of the Switch controller as he started to navigate his way around the main menu.
The duel between the two of you was a fierce one; Shota picked out Toad as his character with a heavy class Kart, while you kept it easy by choosing Yoshi to ride on his Yoshi bike. In the first match Shota smoked you, practically lapping you and the NPCs. He jumped from his place on the edge of the bed to celebrate, doing a little dance as you gawked at his win. You were starting to feel more competitive in the next race, wanting to redeem yourself from the brutal first round.
Even when the track was Coconut Mall, Shota was still able to beat you but at least not as bad as last round. You managed to get third place overall, with Shota reiningraining victory and getting the shiny gold animated trophy at the end. He started his victory dance again jumping up and down in excitement, pulling you in with outstretched hands.
He tried to get you to celebrate with you, but you put on a show by displaying the least amount of enthusiasm. “Why are you making me dance with you? Rubbing your stupid video game win in my face?” You asked him as he tried to move your hands in a wave motion, trying to make you look like you were happy for his win.
“Maybe” He teased back, continuing his playful dancing motions with his hands in yours. Raising your hand so that it was above your head he twirled himself around, not backing down from his gloating.
“Cut it out!” You told him, but couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your lips once he was done twirling, pulling you in so that you were touching his chest. Suddenly he dipped you into a side lunge like the two of you were in a ballroom instead of his studio apartment.
Shota’s laughter rang through the room as he held you in his arms before bringing you back up to a standing position. The once awkward air was replaced with a warm atmosphere, Shota glowing from the forgotten TV made his eyes sparkle in the otherwise dark apartment. A mischievous grin formed on his face that displayed his bunny-like front teeth as he continued to hold onto one of your hands. The moment seemed to linger between the two of you, feeling as though it was suspended in time.
Everything seemed to blur away, Shota’s teasing smile softening as he interlocked his fingers with yours. “I always like being around you.” He told you in a hush voice.
He seemed to lean in closer to you when he was already standing close enough to feel his breath against your face. Swearing you could feel his heart race faster, the space between you had become nonexistent as Shota just longing studied your face. “I like you a lot.” His voice was a whisper.
Your lips were on his, the only thought running through your brain was wondering what Shota’s mouth tasted like. His hand reached up to cup your face, the kiss deepening as he pressed his lips with a hunger. The kiss was cut short by his mouth detaching from yours, moving to your cheek down to your chin until he got to your neck.
Shota kissed the thin skin that was right below your ear, the hand that was on your cheek had snaked its way through your hair. “I like you a lot.” He repeated against your neck, going right back to his kissing.
You found your hands lost in his hair, your eyes threatening to close when Shota began to move further down and started suck at the part of the neck that met your collar bone.
“I want you.”
Shota shifted forward so that you were now flat on your back, a plush quilt underneath you as you fell onto his bed. He was now on top of you, his lips finding their way back to yours. Your hands traveled down his neck to his shoulders where he was still wearing the plain black t-shirt he had worn to work. Almost immediately after you touched the fabric Shota was moving to take it off as if the feeling of your hand had made him realize he still had it on.
You could only steal a glance, but you saw the strong muscle that was adorned on his stomach before he was back on top of you. His kisses were deep and meaningful while his touch was shy, placing a hand against your exposed stomach from your shirt riding up. You followed his actions by breaking away from the kiss for a moment to take your shirt off as well, being left with only your bra for him to see.
His mouth began to travel downward again, passing your neck leaving light bite marks in his wake as he made his way towards your chest. Before Shota reached your breasts he stopped his kisses to look up at you with his blown out pupils.
“I want you.” His mouth still lingering close to your skin. “Can I fuck you?”
You breathed out a yes, making him become ravenous against you, going back to his task of working his way down your body. He began to leave light kisses at the top of your breasts before pulling down the garment to expose the skin underneath. Shota took one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking in while his tongue did circles around it. You couldn’t suppress the moan that was let out of your mouth, the sensation being too much with your brain turning into jelly.
The hardness between Shota’s legs was pressed against you, his physical display of lust only made it easier for you to get lost in the thought of him. Your hands that had been petting and tugging at Shota’s hair but found themselves traveling down Shota’s neck, your nails running against his back as he began to kiss along your stomach. He had reached down and had started to undo the button on your pants, meticulously trying his best to get it loose while still keeping his attention towards you. It gave you the courage to begin to pull at the elastic of Shota’s waistband, your thumb hooking underneath his pants along with the thin black underwear he was wearing underneath.
“I saw what you’re wearing.” You told him in a hush voice.
Shota paused to look up at you, a confused expression displayed across his face as he was trying to piece together what you were implying. There was then a look of realization and a blush forming against his cheeks, his eyes flickering back down in embarrassment.
“I like it.”
“You do?” Shota’s voice matched the confusion that was once on his face.
You sat up slightly so that you could lock lips with his. “I think it’s hot.” You confessed.
Shota’s invigorating energy was back, kissing you deeply, with his tongue licking against your teeth. He went back to taking off your jeans, sliding them off with one swift motion. You felt his hands against your thighs as he bent down, leaving kisses on the inner side of them before pulling at your underwear. You were completely exposed to him, Shota taking a moment to sit up on his knees to take you in. You felt a bit self conscious with him being able to see you like this, but at the same time it sparked a fire inside of you that burned whenever you swallowed.
Catching his eyes, Shota’s blown out pupils made it look like they matched his iris, the dark brown eyes hidden under heavy lids. He started to pull at the waistband of his own pants, slowing dragging them down his legs until they reached the end of his thighs where he was sitting up on his knees. The only thing that was left on his body was the goddamn thong. If you thought it was tight around his waist before, it was nothing like it looked now with his hard cock stretching the fabric out, the tip of it peeking out from the top, the underwear not being able to cover the entire shaft.
Your mouth was wide open, not being able to keep it shut while looking at the obscene image before you. One of Shota’s hands reached down to carefully run his delicate fingers against the bulge.
“You think this is hot?” He tried to sound sincere but you could hear the teasing nature of his voice.
Not trusting your own voice all you did was nod. The fingers that he was using to touch himself grabbed at the sides of the underwear, pulling them down to reveal cock that bobbed against his stomach as the panties fell onto the already forgotten pants that pooled around Shota’s knees. He kicked them away as he positioned himself back on top of you, face to face with him once again as he bent down to kiss you. He only delicately touched your lips with his, the chaste kiss being the last thing before Shota guided his cock inside of you.
You felt yourself shutter, moaning out Shota’s name once he had gotten comfortable enough to start moving. His pace started slow before picking up the speed, the hunger that you had seen earlier returning. His hands found their way to your chest again, grabbing handfuls as he thrusted back and forth. His breath was ragged against your skin, sharply inhaling most likely from the feeling of you. The strong muscles of his back was what your hands were drawn to, his bulky shoulders blades flexing with each movement Shota made. The fire in your stomach was building, alarmingly close to exploding. You don’t know how but Shota still had the comprehension to kiss and nip down your jaw, placing his head in the crook of your neck as he continued to fuck into you.
The snapping sound of Shota’s hips against your skin was cut short momentarily as he reached behind you, grabbing you into his arms to switch you around so that you were now on top of him. You couldn’t stop your body from hunching over, a weakness in your limbs from the constant sensation of Shota. He placed his hands at the dip ,his celestial expression being in stark contrast to the devilish movements of his hips as he began to move slowly beneath you, almost making circles.
Gripping at the sheets that were on either side of Shota, you sat yourself back up with your hair draping below you going every which way. Shota reached up and moved some of it out of your face, tucking the piece behind your ear. Placing one of your hands on top of his chest you began to move. It took you a moment to find your rhythm but Shota didn’t seem to mind with his mouth slightly agape with his eyes flickering from your figure to squeezing his eyes shut. His hands were still around your waist, nails digging into the skin as he started to fuck into you, the bobbing movement you were just doing getting taken over by Shota’s strong grip. It allowed you to completely let go, the low building sensation in the pit of your stomach feeling as though it burst all throughout you, running through your veins and making you slightly light headed.
Shota moaned out as he felt you tighten around him, the sound of skin snapping against each other becoming louder as his pace became less precise. It was the first thing that had escaped his lips ever since you had started to kiss him, sending a shiver down your spine as his whine rang in your ears. With his next breath he inhaled with a quickness, unfolding underneath you as you felt him filled you with a cry. Shota froze, still holding you in his lap as came inside of you with your back arched and hands on his solid stomach.
Chapter 10
The fog that was making your head dizzy had cleared. You felt as though you left Shota’s house in a hurry, not wanting to have to sit with the consequences of what had just happened. He insisted on taking you home but you politely declined, slipping out of his front door before he could protest.
Outside, the brisk air was in complete contrast to the warmth you had just left behind. It sobered you, not like you could have blamed all of that on a half drank beer. Something had come over you where you couldn't say no, and you didn't want to either. There was no turning back at this point, with you only being able to watch as scenes around you unfolded.
The street lights were the only guidance on your way home, your walk only being a few blocks longer than normal. When you arrived your only plans were to sleep; hoping tonight you’d be able to get to bed without your thoughts keeping you up. You were eventually able to fairly quickly, only to be woken up at an ungodly hour before the sun had even gotten up for the day. Your mind was immediately flooded with what had happened the night prior– the feeling of Shota on top of you, the feeling of him inside of you, the feeling you got when you watched his face twist as he came.
You had no plans for the day, which made your early rise all the more displeasurable. With a groan you turned over to where your phone had been charging for the night to grab it, your itinerary including doom scrolling until you could see the sun peak over the horizon. Opening your phone, you noticed a string of text messages from Keeho that had been sent only a few hours ago, most likely slightly past midnight where actions became questionable.
Keeho: wyd
Keeho: i want to talk
Keeho: can i come over
Staring at the screen, its bright light illuminated your face in the dark room as you mulled over Keeho’s question. The last time you had seen him had been Intak’s birthday, which might have ended with the two of you being on good terms but you have no idea what had transpired since then. You had to think about what his intention might be with him having Intak as his coworker. You began to write back, not expecting a reply from him until much later.
Y/N: what about?
Keeho: what are you doing up
Y/N: I could ask you the same thing
You felt your breath catch when you saw Keeho’s quick reply, making you wonder if he had even gotten any sleep at all that night. You felt your phone buzz.
Keeho: cant sleep
He answered your question as if he had heard your thoughts out loud. It only made you spiral, questioning what was keeping him awake. Your phone buzzed again.
Keeho: your turn
Y/N: same
Usually you’d go into greater detail, but Keeho’s shortness was striking a nerve. He had never been the best texter, but there was this new coldness that hadn't been there before. There was never a reply to your last message, forcing you to get up out of bed and start your day. The crisp weather had made you put on a worn pair of gingham pajama pants, the cotton texture shielding you from the cold. It hadn't gotten too low in temperature just yet, pairing the pants with a tank top.
Opening up the blinds in the living room, you saw how the sun had finally made its appearance, the sky still casting a dark shadow against the street. You started on trying to busy yourself by working on the long overdue chores that were scattered around the house, knowing if you got too sucked in you wouldn't be able to focus on anything else that day.
Just as you started on the pile of dishes that you had been avoiding in your sink, there was a knock at the door. It was slightly aggressive, the other person behind the door wanting to make sure you heard they were there. Turning the faucet back off without having cleaned a single dish, you shuffled to the door to see who was bothering you at this hour.
Peeking out of the peephole that was placed in the middle of your door you saw who was visiting, which you should have expected the minute you heard the knock. You huffed out a sigh while trying to supress an eye roll, running your hands through your messy hair. Swinging the door open showed a lethargic looking Keeho, wearing jeans and a t-shirt like he hadn't even attempted to go to bed.
“What the hell are you doing here?” You asked bluntly.
“I told you. I couldn't sleep,” His voice was dull, not phased by your harsh welcome. “Let me in.”
Keeho walked past you once you stepped aside without a word. His sharp eyes held bags under them which you were able to get a good look of before having to follow Keeho, who was walking towards your kitchen. Helping himself to the pot of coffee you had brewed earlier, he took out one of your cups from the cupboard in front of him like he had done it a million times before. He took it black, pouring the coffee into the mug before taking a small sip.
“Doesn't really explain what you're doing here, though.” You told him.
“Intak told me about what you two were talking about at his party. He also told me how you went back the next day.” Keeho had such a nonchalant tone that you couldn't tell what his reaction was to that information.
It felt as though your blood ran cold, it was like his bleak expression was making this worse. You were expecting the boys to have talked amongst each other over your recent encounters with them, but you didn't think Intak would be the one to tell Keeho all of that. Especially after everything he had told you when you had gone over to his house. It made you wonder what Keeho exactly knew.
“What did he tell you?”
He took another sip of his coffee before replying. “He told me how jealous his virgin ass was that you spent his birthday sucking my dick.” He tried to hold in a laugh, with it coming out involuntarily. “He told me how you went over to his house to apologize.”
“That isn't what I did!” You retorted, trying to ignore his foul language. You knew he was just trying to get a reaction out of you, which you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of.
Keeho raised his eyebrows as if to say ‘yeah, sure’. He rested his coffee cup on the edge of your counter, taking a step closer to you. “So you don't regret going down on me?”
“No.” Your voice cracked.
He was close enough that he could place a hand on your lower cheek, his thumb able to graze against your skin. He swiped across it delicately; once, twice, before pressing his thumb against your lips, effortlessly slipping it into your mouth as he still held your face.
“You like making lover boy Intak jealous, then?” Keeho asked, his thumb still in your mouth.
You didn't reply, you couldn't even if you wanted to. All you did was hollow your cheeks out to harshly suck on his finger, hoping it would cause him some distress and keep you from trying to bite it off with your teeth. It only seemed to push Keeho further into his delirious sense of power, his jaw tightening as he watched you.
He took another step so that his body was now pressed against yours, making you feel the stiffness in his pants that wasn't there before. There was then a rush of pressure as he rutted one of his legs in between yours and placed a hand on your hip, his fingers gripping at the waistband of your pants. Keeho slid his thumb out of your mouth but not without a small popping noise from your pursed lips. He began to swipe his thumb against your cheek once again, the heavy wet sensation of your saliva replacing the gentle touch he had before.
“I want you to answer me.” His voice was low but assertive.
Your breath was caught in your throat as you tried to come up with a reasonable explanation with the cogs in your brain feeling as though they were starting to lock up.
“I’m not exclusive with anyone.” You managed to get out.
“Hm, is that so? That’s why you haven't been able to stop yourself from being a slut? Because you’ve convinced yourself that it's ok to hop from one guy to the next?” Keeho spat out, the fingers gripping around your jaw slightly tightening.
The bitter words that were coming from Keeho’s mouth were foul, but sparked something inside of you that was making your stomach twist and heart race. His face didn't reflect the nasty tone of his voice, his mouth in a slight upturn with his usual piercing eyes having a playful glint in them. You didn't even want to begin to think about what his reaction would be if he knew what you and Shota were up to the night previously.
Even if you wanted to reply back to Keeho, the finger tips that were pressing into both of your cheeks were keeping your mouth in place. At this point, you didn't trust anything that came out of your mouth anyway. You couldn't tell how he took your silence, Keeho’s face leaning in closer to whisper in your ear.
“So if I asked you to go down on me again, you’d say yes?”
He pressed his hips harder against yours, his leg frictioning against your lap making blood rush towards his touch. Moving back to face you, Keeho had the same look as before but it was mixed with inquisition, his fingers leaving your face. He was giving you the opportunity to say no, and yet you wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him back in with a kiss.
Responding instantly, Keeho pressed his lips against yours with an urgency. You knew he was getting a high off of all of this, all he was trying to do was mess with your head. His tongue licked into your mouth, the warm connection sending a surge of electricity down your spine. You found your hands running through his dark hair while he was still grabbing at your pajamas, his knuckles turning white as if the hold on the elastic was anchoring him. He pulled at you again, rutting his hips against yours and moaning in your mouth.
Your hands snaked their way down Keeho’s neck to his chest before you break away from the kiss. They followed you as you bent down, trailing down his stomach until you felt a hand get a fist full of your hair from the top of your head. Keeho pulled you back up with his grasp, the roots at your scalp beginning to sting.
“Who said I wanted you to do that?” His hand was still tightly gripping at your hair making you slightly bend your back towards him, your neck completely exposed to him.
Keeho pulled at you again, this time with a tug towards your bedroom, only letting go once he walked through the threshold. He started messing with his belt, the sound of metal scraping against worn leather echoed in the quiet room. You ran your fingers through your disheveled hair.
“Get on the bed.” Keeho had unlooped his belt from his pants, having it pool in his hand.
Doing what you were told, you climbed on top of the bed in a sitting position.
“Let me see your wrists.” Keeho instructed, going to the edge of the bed as you extended out your arms for him without thinking. It was like he had put you under his spell.
He started to place the underside of his belt against your wrist, looping them around until he could fasten them tight. You watched as he did this, his attention solely on making sure your wrists were bound together. He looked back up to you once he was satisfied, a smirk adorning his lips. His eyes still had a softness that was beyond you, the contrast of his features making your head spin and the fire inside of you begin to burn.
Pushing steadily against your chest, Keeho made you fall against the plush mattress making your restrained hands land above your head. You swung them back down so that they rested on your stomach, which only made the pleased look that was on Keeho’s face disappear. He was still standing at the end of the bed, standing in between your open thighs. Bending so that he could reach, Keeho grabbed at your joined wrists so that they were back above your head. The same hand reaching for the waistband of your pants, as he bent back to his standing position they went with him.
The sudden change in temperature made goosebumps raise on your skin, your legs clasping around his. You could hear Keeho chuckle under his breath as he got down on his knees so that he was now eye level with you. Both of his hands were now resting at your hips, one of them tracing circles at the exposed skin where your t-shirt met your underwear.
“I’m going to make you cum now.” His breath hot against you.
Keeho looped his fingers onto the top of the layer of fabric keeping him from you, tearing it away only to replace the warmth of his mouth. You cried out; the shock of euphoria had intoxicated you completely. He was licking at you slowly, entirely different from his feverish kisses earlier. It wasn't without intention, Keeho’s firm tongue running circles around your clit.
In between his licks Keeho’s pursed his lips, sucking against the sensitive area only to return with more passionate strokes of his tongue along your cunt. Your eyes began to close, your head on the verge of spinning. You moaned out Keeho’s name only for him to laugh against you, sending a vibration throughout your body.
With his mouth still around your clit, you felt his fingers brush against your opening, teasing the skin around it before he pushed one inside of you. Your bound hands fell back down as a response, which made Keeho stop what he was doing. His mouth left you to be replaced with a coldness again which made you able to pry your eyes back open, only to find him already staring back at you.
“I want your hands above your head; and I want your eyes open.” His assertive voice made you follow the directions, immediately putting your arms back where they were.
Hooking one of his arms around your thigh, Keeho leaned his head to the side to place a kiss on the most inner part while keeping his eye contact with you. Once he was content with your stare he started to travel back down your thigh until he could place a kiss on your cunt, placing his mouth back to finish what he had started. You whined out, watching as Keeho’s kind eyes had turned into something more wicked.
The heat inside you was beginning to build as his finger that was buried inside of you began to move, combined with his tongue it was starting to become too much. You knew he could feel you start to unravel underneath him, your hips involuntarily hitching into his face which only seemed to thrill him further. Keeho’s tongue was now unyielding, an urgency coming over him as he licked against your clit. His fingers were matching the speed of his tongue, moving in and out until he added another one without effort, the fullness almost completely tipping you over the edge.
Keeho took his mouth off of you but continued the movement of his fingers. “Such a good girl taking me like this. Do you think Intak could make you feel like this?” You were too far gone to respond to his rhetorical questions.
His tongue was now painfully slow against your clit, Keeho only flicking against your cunt teasingly with his pace inside of you getting rapid. All you wanted to do was to grab him by the top of his head and bury him against you, but you knew that would lead you nowhere. All you could do was rut against his lips, your attempted plea being met with a twist of his fingers. He was hitting the spot that was starting to make your head spin, your breath was quickening just as you felt Keeho press his lips deeply. He pressed his tongue down hard, continuing the same pace as his fingers. It was then that your eyes closed shut and your arms came down to clutch at Keeho’s hair desperately, your thighs tensing against his head as you came around his mouth and fingers.
Keeho didn't stop licking at your clit until you were shaking against his touch, the sensation of his touch becoming too much after your orgasm. He gave another kiss to your thigh before standing back up, revealing his undone jeans that showed how there was a migrating wet spot on his boxer briefs. After buttoning them back up, he beant back down to undo his belt that was still tied around your wrists.
“You didn't do what you were told.” He said under his breath once he had untied it and had begun to loop it back through his jeans.
You mustered up enough strength to prop yourself up on your elbow, watching as Keeho turned to leave until he paused before getting to the door. He didn't even turn back to look at you, only slightly cocking his head to the side. The morning light that was peaking through the window blinds casted against his profile.
“Shota told me everything too.” Keeho confessed. He didn't let you get a word in before he was off again, exiting your apartment with the click of the lock to your front door being the last you heard of him. You fell back on your bed with an exaggerated sigh, him leaving you to bask in your consequences.
Chapter 11
The motivation you had to get anything done that day was lost the minute Keeho left your apartment. You tried to mull over the revelation that everyone had been running to him, letting him know about the escapades they had been having with you. It only left you feeling irritated, annoyed with the fact that Keeho had been able to get his way, manipulating the situation so that he came out on top, winning the so called game it seemed like he was playing.
There was a small sense of betrayal, you should have known they would talk amongst each other but you were at least hoping to get let off easier than this. As the day dragged on you found yourself lost in your own thoughts, not being able to completely clear your head from the last 24 hours. You needed to decide on how to handle the situation, your next steps determining if this was going to completely explode in your face or not. You just wanted everything to blow over, but with Keeho in the equation you knew that was not an option.
You spent the following week and the next weighing the situation before you, avoiding the cafe at all cost. You didn’t want to run into any of them at this point, you didn’t want to know if Keeho had gossiped further once he left your place. While tension gnawed at your peace of mind, you were able to find solace in your routine once getting back into the flow of work. You couldn’t keep thinking about boys when you had deadlines to focus on, the unpredictable aftermath of your personal life was in no match to the articles you had been putting off writing.
It was at least a welcoming distraction, with you putting every ounce of your energy into your work. The web that had you tangled with Keeho had turned into a persistent background hum, the nagging feeling of uncertainty was too overbearing to ignore. The only times you really noticed it was when you were in bed with your eyes closed, no longer preoccupied with anything except your thoughts. It was a relentless reminder that avoidance could only go so far.
Diving deeper into your work, you had started to pick up new stories that you wouldn’t particularly have chosen before, the less familiar the topic was the more distracted you became, not having any time to think about your personal life. While the usual commentator was out of town, you were tasked with following the sports around the city in the time being; something that would require your full attention.
The first job you were assigned with was the baseball game happening that night once you got off work, the late season match determining who was going into the playoffs. Dressing quickly to catch the train over to the stadium, you kept in mind the brisk air that had been sweeping over the area. You wore jeans and the jersey of the star hitter, putting on a long sleeve shirt underneath to keep you at bay from any cold weather. Making sure your notepad was in your bag you were off; following the small pockets of baseball fans dressed similarly to you that had started to form once you got on the subway and only got sizably bigger the closer you got to the stadium.
The crowds never dispersed, forming as one as you lined up for ticketing. In front of you, you could have sworn you saw a familiar head of hair, black and long enough that it almost reached his shoulders. Losing him in the crowd by the time you got inside, your thoughts had changed to finding where your seat was in the sea of people.
Your company had bought your tickets, you could have never afforded the front row seats that gave you the best spot to see home plate. The stadium buzzed as you took your seat, taking out your paper and pen to note the hum of energy. The overhead lights were beginning to cast a shadow over the field as the sun began to set, the glow illuminating the players as they went up to bat.
The smell of fried food wasn't ignorable, the call of vendors and the sound of cheers adding to the lively atmosphere. You felt your stomach growl after the first batter struck out, noting to grab one of the stadium snacks during one of the intermissions. The game went on with the same anticipated murmur of the crowd until you heard the crack of the bat, the entire stadium going wild as their team scored a home run.
You even got lost in the excitement, jumping up with the rest of the people around you to cheer. After everything died down you had to remind yourself that you had a job to do, having to scribble down bullet points about the first couple of innings in your notepad. While preoccupied and without breaking away from your notes, you felt a presence sit in the seat next to you.
Taeyang was there with a bag of popcorn in his hand, wearing a similar outfit as you, sporting one of the players jerseys. Looking over to him you must have given him a disoriented expression, him not able to hide a smile that was forming on his face. He picked up a handful of popcorn to throw into his mouth, his smile not fading as he chewed.
“What are you doing here?” You asked him once your shock subsided.
“Enjoying the game? Am I not allowed to be here or something?” Taeyang retorted, his mouth still full.
“No, that’s not what I mean. I just wasn’t expecting to see you here. Is that even your seat?”
“No. Is anyone sitting here?” Taeyang’s voice was playful.
You purse your lips trying to figure out what to say back, knowing you didn’t have an excuse for him to not be sitting next to you. “No, but I’m on the clock. Don’t try and bother me.” You said rather harshly.
He didn’t deserve it, but seeing Taeyang made all of the thoughts you were trying to run away from rush back. You couldn’t remember the last time you saw him, his hair had gotten longer with his bangs having to be shaken back so they kept from getting in his face. He settled into the seat next to you, leaning back into his chair. His presence wasn’t completely terrible, it was oddly comforting having him there in a sea full of strangers. Trying to recalibrate your focus, you started to jot down notes for your article, writing down player numbers while trying to figure out their positions while also trying to ignore the unexpected company.
“You’re here for work?” Taeyang asked sincerely.
Not looking up to meet his eyes, you continued to take your notes. “Yeah. The regular guy is on vacation.” You mumbled over to him, tapping the end of your pen against your notepad.
“Got it.” Even with your eyes down, you could feel Taeyang’s stare. “Have you been alright?” He asked, his voice low.
“I’m fine. Why wouldn't I be?”
“I haven't seen you around the cafe, I thought you’d come around more regularly like you used to.” He explained. You glanced up to Taeyang to catch his eyes, only for him to turn his attention back to the game.
“I suppose I guessed wrong.” He said under his breath.
You wanted to be truthful to Taeyang, you wanted to spill your guts to him and release the pent up emotions you had been bottling. But you had to swallow it down, hesitating to respond because it felt nearly impossible to explain anything to him.
“I’ve been busy.” You told him, looking back down to your neglected notes.
Taeyang nodded slowly, his attention on the match in front of him wavering to peek at what you were writing. He didn't press further, instead extending the bag of popcorn he had as an offering. Taking a handful with a thank you, the tense air around the two of you began to fade as the game unfolded.
As the innings began to pass by, Taeyang noticed your struggle of trying to keep up with what was going on. You’ve watched baseball, yes, but to analyze what you were seeing was on a different level. After not being able to catch the full name of a player on the jumbo screen you couldn't keep in a sigh, making Taeyang laugh next to you.
“That was our star player. If you don't get his name right you’ll tick a lot of readers off.” He informed you.
“Where’s all the help then, baseball genius?” You said back.
Taeyang looked back over to your notes, making him laugh again. He began to point out what you had gotten wrong, and began to talk extensively about what you had missed. As he explained, you couldn't help but find yourself captivated by his enthusiasm, going on about the inner workings of the game while you tried to keep up. You noticed how you were able to make your notes a bit more coherent the longer he went on and by the end of the game you felt like you had actually learned something.
The game went on until the sky got dark, ending with fireworks to celebrate the home team’s win. The crowd buzzed around you even as everyone started to make their way out of the stadium, Taeyang following behind you until the two of you were outside. For the first time that night there was an awkwardness in the air, the uncertainty of how to end the night hovering above them.
“Are you still on the clock?” Taeyang asked as the two of you began to walk towards the subway.
You hesitated. “I guess not.”
“Even if you were, I think you deserve a lunch break.” Taeyang said.
You looked around at the black sky above you. “I think we’re past lunch.”
“Just let me make my jokes!” He whined.
Taeyang managed to convince you to allow him to take you to the late night diner across town. It was a tiny stand alone brick building that looked old, but well loved and kept up. The inside hadn't been updated in decades but it added the charm, making you ignore the burnt burgers and soggy fries. You sat down in a booth across from Taeyang, going through the menu of shakes and fried food first.
After the waitress that looked ready to clock out took your order, you couldn't help but notice that you kept catching Taeyang looking at you, his eyes averting your stare every time you looked at him. He looked more nervous than at the baseball game, his cool demeanor turned stiff.
“I don't believe you.” Taeyang said with a breath, as if he was physically taking the words off his chest.
“What do you mean? About what?” You asked, genuinely confused.
“When you said you were fine. I don't think you’re telling me the truth.” Taeyang was finally making eye contact with you.
Before you could reply to him the waitress came by with your food, interrupting your privacy. Taeyang immediately went for a fry on his plate, the anxiety you had seen earlier washing away.
“I am telling you the truth.” You mumbled back once you were alone with him again.
“I’m not a fool, Y/N.” Taeyang said, food still in his mouth. “For starters, you are not the person to be writing sports articles. You’re trying to distract yourself from something.” He read you like a book.
Your face had turned pale white. You looked down at your food that was turning cold, not feeling hungry anymore. You should have known he was secretly analyzing you, his attention all along wanting to get to the bottom of your troubles.
“I’m just,” You were again disturbed by the waitress coming over to fill water glasses, prolongedly standing there as she poured from the pitcher in her hands.
Once she had left you took a deep breath before looking up to Taeyang. You started to divulge to him about what had been going on in your life, trying to keep as many details to yourself. You kept going afraid that if you stopped you wouldn't be able to start back up again. You told him how lost you were feeling, how running seemed like the only option you had.
“I’m surprised Keeho hadn't told you yet.” You said at the end of your spiel.
You felt a presence come up beside you again, the adrenaline running through your body making you want to punt the waitress across the restaurant if she interrupted you one more time.
“We’re fine, thank you.” You said without looking up.
“Surprised I didn't tell him what?”
Keeho and Jongseob stood in front of the table dressed in dark clothing, their hair messy and skin sticky from sweating. Your eyes immediately went to Keeho, who simply smiled brightly and gave you a wave.
Chapter 12
The booth you were sitting at suddenly felt crowded as Keeho took the seat next to Taeyang while Jongseob slid in beside you. You couldn't help but to glance over to Taeyang, who gave you a small nod as if to say your secret's safe with him. Even so, the fluorescent light above you still made you feel like you were being held in an interrogation room.
“So what are you two up to?” Keeho asked, breaking the silence.
“We just got done watching the game,” Taeyang answered for the both of you.
“You went together?” Keeho wagged his finger in between you and him.
“No, we just ended up seeing each other,” Taeyang said, his voice collected and calm.
Keeho took in the information, done with his pressing. “Did we win? Jongseob just dragged me to one of his concerts. He didn't tell me there were going to be mosh pits.” Keeho told them, showing off the bruises that were beginning to form along his arms.
“Yes I did! Going to a punk show basically guarantees punches being thrown. Not my fault you couldn't connect the dots.” Jongseob bit back.
You were keeping quiet, watching the boys bicker amongst each other. Shifting uncomfortably in the diner booth, you could feel yourself becoming more out of place as the minutes ticked by. Wanting to crawl out of your own skin, you instead gave small smiles whenever their words became animated.
Jongseob and Keeho ordered their own food as the boys went on to talk about more than just their nightly plans. You were impressed by their dedication to continue the conversation, but you just couldn't get yourself to join in.
“Y/N? Are you doing okay?” Keeho asked, taking you out of your dissociative state.
Blinking, momentarily disoriented, you had to force yourself to focus on Keeho’s inquiry.
“I’m fine,” You told him. “Just getting tired, long day.” You weren’t completely lying, just hiding most of the truth.
“Me too. We should probably get going.” Taeyang suggested.
“So soon?” Keeho interjected, keeping his attention on you.
“You're not the one with the opening shift tomorrow.” Taeyang bit back.
“Party pooper.”
The two of you got out of the booth, leaving the other boys on their own. When you were saying your goodbyes, Jongseob made you promise he’d see you soon. The concerned look in his eyes made you remember how you hadn't seen him since recovering from being sick. Sticking your pinky out at him, he took it in his ardently.
Taeyang walked you home, taking you to the closest subway station before parting. You wanted to thank him for staying quiet, but you didn’t have a single idea how to. As you walked beside him, there was a comfortable silence between the two of you until reaching the station, where you faced him to say your goodbyes.
“I’m sorry about Keeho. You know how he is,” Taeyang began, his voice like velvet.
“Don’t worry about me. I want you to know that I appreciate you.” You told him directly.
“I’ll always put you first.”
Your stomach felt warm when you walked through the door of your apartment, and it wasn’t from the beer you had consumed earlier. The night with Taeyang had lifted a weight off of your shoulders, feeling lighter than you had been all week. Stripping off your jersey, you got into bed, falling asleep thinking about Taeyang’s warm smile.
Despite your exhaustion the next morning, you jumped out of bed to enjoy your weekend. After showering and getting ready for the day, you couldn’t help but notice that you had nothing planned, differing from your crazy work week. You couldn’t help but have Taeyang’s words ring in your ear as you began on house chores that you had been avoiding.
The night before made you realize just how much you had missed all of the guys. You had gotten so caught up with everything that you had forgotten at the end of the day they were some of your closest friends. Against your better judgment, you grabbed your bag and started to make your way to Beyond the Bean.
The smell of espresso beans assaulted your nose the moment you walked through the cafe doors. Scoping the place out, you could see who was working behind the bar. One of the reasons you had decided to go that day is because you knew Taeyang was going to be there, and Keeho wasn’t.
What surprised you was seeing Jongseob, who had heavy dark bags under his eyes as you went up to greet him at the cash register. His sleepy eyes perked up when he noticed it was you instead of just a regular customer.
“Y/N! When I said I wanted to see you around here more often, I didn’t necessarily mean the next day.” He said with a giggle.
“I can go if you want–,” You playfully began to turn around before Jongseob whined out for you to come back.
Walking back to the counter, you gave him an amused smile. “I’ll just take my usual,” You told him, stuffing a $20 into the tip jar. You weren’t about to fight him that day.
Once making your way over to the other side of the counter, you saw Theo and Shota working religiously behind the bar. They barely even noticed you until they read your name on your drink ticket. You gave them both a smile as Shota handed you your coffee.
“Do you want to go on a date with me?” Shota asked, his tone flat.
“What?” You asked, Taeyang and Jongseob echoing your words.
“Do you want to go on a date? With me.”
You stood there taken aback, trying to register Shota’s words. It looked like his coworkers were just as shocked as you were, their faces dropping at his words.
“What the fuck Shota?” Jongseob said, breaking the silence.
“Huh? What’s the problem? I like Y/N.” Shota told him shortly.
Taeyang kept quiet, while Jongseob began to bicker with Shota about human decency. Shota couldn’t find the problem with his approach while Jongseob looked like he was about to pop a blood vessel.
The air in the cafe shifted unexpectedly. Shota’s blunt question hung in the air unanswered, the situation feeling awkward for everyone involved. Jongseob, who was just fooling around with you minutes ago, now had a noticeable strained expression on his face. You could sense how the situation had left him unsettled as you took your coffee into your hands.
“Why don't we talk about that later, okay?” You told Shota, giving him a warm smile which he reciprocated with a nod.
You step back from the coffee bar, taking a seat in one of the plush leather armchairs they had in the corner. Pulling your laptop out of your bag, you decided to jumpstart on your baseball article while sipping on your coffee.
As you worked, you couldn't help but feel sets of eyes burning into your skin. Every time you looked up though, the only thing you would catch would be the three boys whispering to one another. You squirmed in your seat, your focus wavering from your task at hand.
It was when you had just started your outline when you noticed Jongseob storm out of the cafe. Your conscience told you to go and try and catch him, he had been there for you when you needed him and it seemed like one of those moments where he might be needing you. Stuffing your laptop back into your bag and forgetting your coffee, you passed by Taeyang and Shota still whispering to one another as you exited.
You could see Jongseob down the street, his apron bunched in one of his fists. Catching up to him, you called out his name, making him stop in his tracks.
Reaching your hand out, you placed it delicately on his shoulder. “What happened back there?”
He couldn't meet your gaze. “Nothing. I’m never going back to that place.”
“What?” You couldn't hide your shock.
“I quit.” Jongseob started to continue his walk. You started walking with him after missing a beat.
“Do you want to tell me why?” You used your words wisely.
“No.” He said bluntly.
The two of you walked in silence, unspoken words hanging in the air.
“Why’d you come after me?” Jongseob asked after a lull in your conversation.
You raised your shoulders nonchalantly. “I wanted to make sure you were ok.”
He looked up at you, his expression on his face unreadable. The way his lips were curled made you know he wanted to tell you something, just not sure how. Continuing down the street, Jongseob didn't stop walking until coming to a bus stop and taking a seat on the enclosed bench. You stood in front of him, crossing your arms.
“So you’re just going home?” You asked, trying not to sound like you were interrogating him.
“Yeah.” He didn't sound upset, his voice monotone.
Pursing your lips together, you couldn't help but to roll your eyes. When Jongseob closed up it felt impossible to actually reach him. Sighing, you gave up and gave your goodbyes, turning to make your own way home.
“Wait.”
You had only taken a few steps when you heard Jongseob cry out. Turning back, you could see his blank face had shifted to something more somber. All you wanted to do was comfort him, but you just sat next to him on the bench, not wanting to speak until he did.
“Why didn't you give Shota an answer?” He asked, his voice quiet.
The question caught you off guard. You weren’t expecting both situations to be related, and not from him. “I didn't know what to say,” You told him. “I was put on the spot.”
He wasn't looking at you, rather straight ahead into the road. It didn't look like he was focusing on anything, rather spacing out while he thought. Instead of responding he kept quiet.
“I answered one of your questions, now it's your turn. Why did you storm out?” You asked.
He sighed out. It took him a moment to start talking, missing a few beats. “I felt like I was losing control. I didn't know what else to do but leave. That job was making me lose my sanity.”
Your heart ached. You could understand where he was coming from, but felt like he wasn't telling you the full truth. He looked like he was holding back words, still not making eye contact with you.
“It’s ok to feel overwhelmed.” You started slowly, not exactly knowing where to go. Reaching out your hand, you placed it on his bicep. “I’m always going to be here for you, no matter what,” You tried to sound convincing.
The sound of cars passing was all you listened to before Jongseob spoke again. “And when you aren‘t? What then?”
“What do you mean? I care about you so much, I don't ever see that happening.”
As you said that, you could hear the bus roll up to the bus stop. Jongseob got up from his seat. “As a friend.” He said this quietly as he turned to the bus.
You sat on the bench, watching as the bus started back up again, speeding off to its next destination. You sat there going over Jongseob's words, not being able to shake the feeling that something had shifted.
Chapter 13
Your walk home was sobering. Your heart was set with understanding Jongseob’s fears, his words sitting heavily on your chest. His questions cut deeper than you anticipated, his melancholy face continuing to reappear in your head. Getting back home, your coffee was abandoned at Beyond the Bean, and you were starting to feel the effects of the lack of caffeine running through your system.
No way in hell were you going back to the cafe. You felt like you couldn’t show your face there again, especially not after everything today. Your usual comforting apartment felt cold, unfamiliar with your new found thoughts. You needed to get away, your apartment leaving you little solace, making you desperate for a change of scenery. Something that was less quiet, and maybe another caffeine boost.
Venturing out once again, the crisp autumn air felt cool against your skin. You began to walk around your neighborhood until finding a small, unassuming coffee shop down a few blocks. It was in stark comparison to your usual, the bustling atmosphere contrasting against the calm storm that you were used to at Beyond the Bean. After ordering your espresso, your eyes scanned the small shop, its walnut wood walls matching the eclectic dark chairs that scattered the room. A familiar figure caught your attention, sitting in the corner with a book in his hands. His dark hair was wispy over his forehead, falling over his eyes that were leafing through whatever he was reading and paying no attention to you.
Your name being called by the barista startled you, feeling as though you had just been caught doing something. After going to grab your second coffee of the day, you stayed at the counter longer than was typically normal, standing there awkwardly before turning around. When you did, you could see Jiung looking back at you.
He gave you a warm smile along with a confused look in his eyes, him being just as surprised to see you. Now that you couldn't run and hide, you staggered over to where Jiung was sitting in the back of the cafe. Extending out his arm he offered the seat across from him, setting down his book for you to see a small smile to creep upon his face.
“What are you doing here? Cafe hopping?” Jiung started, clearly shocked that you weren't at your usual spot.
“Something like that. And you? Don’t like spending more time at work than needing to?”
Jiung laughed under his breath. “Something like that.”
You felt obligated to tell him parts of what had happened earlier that day. He would have found out one way or another, and you would much rather it come from you than one of the boys. You couldn't help but to wince having to explain why you were there, having to relive the awkward and tense events of this morning to Jiung.
“He just stormed out? Because of Shota?” Jiung took a sip of his coffee.
“I think so at least.” You studied his face, which was breaking out into another grin. “What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. I just think he’d hate it if he knew what happened at the lake house.” He said, his voice lowering a bit.
You could feel a blush spread across your cheeks as he said that, making you wonder if he was picturing how it felt to have your lips on his again. You wished you could physically shake the thoughts away. Instead, you only rolled your eyes.
“So, do you not think he’ll show up to Keeho’s tonight?”
“What’s happening at Keeho’s?” You asked, clearly not being told anything.
“We were all planning on pregaming before heading downtown. There's some new club Intak wanted to test out.” Jiung confided in you.
“I don't think I’m invited.” You told him, laughing stiffly. You weren't completely sure how much Jiung knew, and you were far too spent to deal with any more truths coming out that day.
Jiung insisted, telling you that you were a fool to think that you weren't always invited to one of their outings. You told him you appreciated the way he was advocating for you, but you would ultimately have to think about it. In the meantime he gave you his number, promising to let you know if Jongseob ended up coming along with them. It was like he had an unspoken knowledge of your worry for him.
Leaving the cafe the burdens you had been feeling were weighing lighter. The brief respite from your thoughts that didn't end in more turmoil eased any strain you were feeling. Back at your apartment the discomfort from earlier turned into nerves, the already small confines of the space felt even tighter as you nervously waited for a text from Jiung.
Watching the sun sink into the horizon, you knew you had to make a decision for yourself.
Pacing around, you mulled over the pros and cons while the sunlight casted long shadows on the wooden floor. You thought of Jiung’s warm smile when he first saw you, and how it made your stomach tighten. Glancing at your phone for the hundredth time, expecting to see something different than a blank screen with no new notifications.
You knew better than to run away from these types of situations. Any discomfort you were feeling now wouldn't outweigh the heartache you’d experience if you’d never get the chance to see your friends again. Deciding on biting the bullet and joining them, you started getting dressed into something more appropriate for a night out.
Still opting for your own comfort, you decided on a casual outfit that still fits into the night's plans. You didn’t want to look as though you were trying too hard, as well as not caring at all. Keeping your makeup to a minimum, accentuating your eyelashes and the color of your cheeks.
When you were about to head out the door, your phone buzzed.
Jiung: Jongseob’s here.
Your stomach did a flip. You didn’t respond, but there was a new urgency in your step as you made your way to the club Jiung had told you about. The street lamps that now illuminated the sky guided you around town until you approached the club, shifting into more colorful lights and loud music canvasing the street. The line to get in was packed with people, the bouncer at the front checking IDs at a painfully slow pace. Taking your place at the end, you waited for your turn when you got another text from Jiung.
Jiung: Are you coming?
Y/N: im in line
Jiung: I’ll meet you at the entrance.
After a good amount of time had passed, it was finally your turn to walk through the entrance, the cold night air being met with the radiating warmth from the shoulder to shoulder bodies inside the club. While searching for Jiung, you felt a tug on your arm, pulling you away from the crowd of people. Quickly, you turned around to see who had physically grabbed your attention. Jiung flashed one of his charming smiles.
“Hey. Follow me,” Jiung told you, taking you by the hand to enter further into the dimly lit club. You could feel the music begin to beat in your chest the further you went, the bass feeling as though it was shaking the entire building. It was different from anything you had been to before; chrome bars lined the walls while a big chandelier hung in the middle of the dance floor. They matched with rusted steel flooring and dilapidated walls, giving the space a run down futuristic look.
Jiung led you to the bar where the rest of the boys had gathered. The first thing you saw was Intak talking expressively to the others, looking as though he was losing whatever battle he was trying to win. He only stopped his talking once he caught your eyes, growing large as he registered who he was looking at.
The rest of them noticed Intak’s lack of words, making them turn to see you standing there next to Jiung. “Y/N? I didn't know you were coming!” You could hear Taeyang shout over the music.
“I didn't know either,” You had to yell back. “What are you guys just standing here for? Shouldn't you be dancing?”
“That’s what I was just telling them!” It didn't take much to get Intak worked up again, his pout on full display.
“I’ll meet you there. Let me just get some liquid courage before I go and embarrass myself,” You walked up to the edge of the bar, pressing up to the counter to flag down the bartender.
The group broke apart, the two youngest following Intak to the dance floor while Taeyang and Keeho went with them to watch. You were surprised by the lack of interaction Keeho has had with you, him staying quiet since you arrived. Jiung stayed by you as you waited for your drink, his eyes scanning you up and down like he was trying to get a read on you.
He leaned up close, his lips inches away from your ear as he spoke. “I want you to have fun tonight, okay?”
You hoped your smile back was convincing enough for him. The moment you stepped into the crowded space you could feel yourself tense up, not used to this type of atmosphere. Jiung’s awareness didn't go unnoticed, you were beyond grateful that he was in your corner.
After downing your drink probably way too fast, you felt confident enough to make your way to the dance floor to meet up with the others. The flashing lights guided you towards the center of the room where you could see Shota move his body in ways that had to be humanly impossible, and yet he was flexing and popping every move with ease.
Jongseob was the first to notice you, but much like Keeho he kept his distance. The moment he recognized you had caught his stare he turned away, as if you were never there. You brushed it off quickly, Intak coming up to you and not giving you the option to begin dancing with him. His flushed round cheeks pressed against his eyes as he smiled, grabbing you by your waist to guide you closer to him. Intak helped you find your rhythm, dancing along to the loud music in unison.
As you danced, your initial anxiety you felt earlier washed away. The crowd swayed and shifted around as Intak’s infectious enthusiasm latched onto you. He could have easily ignored you for good reason, and yet he was here dancing alongside you. Even if you knew he didn't have a great track record for keeping grudges.
Without warning, you felt another body press against your back. You could tell by the physique who it was immediately, Shota’s strong chest standing solid behind you even through the gray tank top he was wearing. He followed the pace of
your hips, placing his hands around your waist to further synchronize your movements. Either Intak didn't notice or didn't care, his only focus being following the beat of the music.
It only looked like he realized his surroundings when Keeho snaked through the dancing crowd to reach him, asking if he would go back to the bar with him. Keeho's ego only stretched so far that he was needing a friend beside him for support in the new environment.
That left you and Shota alone, Jongseob had long gotten lost in the sea of people around you. A new dynamic emerged between the two of you, dancing together closely, Shota’s fingertips digging into your hips. You felt his long hair brush across your face as he leaned in even closer.
“Did you think about it?” He asked, his lips pressing against your ear.
A shiver ran down your spin as he began to trace his lips against the lobe of your ear. He was adamant about the question he asked, not letting you off the hook in the slightest. You had been so preoccupied with how Jongseob stormed out of the cafe that you didn't even give yourself a chance to think over his proposed date.
You grab his hands that were around your waist, you loosened his hold so that you could turn around to face him. “Let’s go do shots!” You shouted, completely ignoring his interrogation.
Even though he showed off his annoyance in his facial expression, he followed you over to the bar to order a round of shots for the two of you. With a deep breath and a prayer you downed your tiny glass of clear liquid the best you could, not being able to stop the sputtering cough you let out after swallowing. Shota on the other hand looked as though he had just taken a sip of water, not a single thing about him phased.
“You’re going to have to answer me sometime–” Shota was cut off by Jongseob pouncing his hands on his back from behind, trying to surprise the stoic nature of him.
“Smoke break,” You could hear Jongseob tell him, pulling Shota away from you.
Grappling with the fact that you were being left alone on the dance floor, Shota yanked you by the hand so that you were involuntarily following close behind them. Jongseob led you out of the club and into the cold street outside, the dark night only showing off a few stars in the encompassing sky.
An offensive smell filled the air around you once the three of you had made it to the side of the building, in one of the many alleyways of the city. Jongseob’s tight white graphic compression shirt hugged his lean arms as he raised his hands to his face, one covering the joint he was lighting with his other.
“People usually go for cigarettes when they have smoke breaks,” You teased him.
The end of the joint caught a bright orange flame, illuminating the darkness around them. “Tobacco is gross.” Jongseob told you, his voice strained as he exhaled a large puff of smoke.
The thin paper crackled as Jongseob made sure the end was burning evenly before passing it over to Shota. He still wasn't paying much mind to you, most likely not expecting Shota to pull you along with them. You stood next to both of them as the chilly air cut through your thin clothing, allowing goosebumps to form along your limbs.
Pressing his lips against the filter, Shota stole your gaze as he inhaled. It didn't falter even when smoke billowed around his face, curling up into the sky. You could still see how big his round eyes were in the darkness, keeping his eye contact as he took in another hit.
Jongseob seemed to notice, his displeasure written all over his face as his eyes flicked between you and Shota. He shifted his weight between his legs, crossing his arms against his chest.
“Do you want some?” Shota offered.
Nodding, you took it in between two of your fingers, placing the spit soaked paper into your mouth. Tasting the pungent earthy flavor as the smoke hit your lungs, you could feel your brain begin to feel static and fuzzy. Smoke filling the air around you, you couldn't stop the cough escaping as you exhaled.
The weed mixing with the alcohol already in your system made your head spin in a euphoric way that threw all rational thought out the window. Passing the joint back to Jongseob, you noticed how his touch lingered for a moment too long. Shota seemed to be completely out of the loop of the tense aura Jongseob was emitting, his bashful face blank of any oblivion.
“I don’t think I want to go back in there,” Shota confessed, putting his pockets into his dark jacket. “Do you guys?”
You still seemed to have lost your voice, except this time it was because you were afraid of how it might sound with the way your throat scratched every time you swallowed. You shook your head no to Shota’s question, mostly because it looked like he had something up his sleeve for new plans.
“You just want to come over to play on my Switch,” Jongseob said, finally speaking up.
“So what if I do? Wouldn't it be fun to play right now?”
“Maybe for you,” Jongseob teased.
You interrupted their bickering.“I think it’s time for me to head home.”
Before you could even start to think about saying your goodbyes, Shota whined out. “But it won't be fun if you aren't there!”
You didn't miss the eye roll that Jongseob produced after Shota’s hissy fit. It was as though sometime snapped in you, his foul attitude allowing your new found bravery for the night to speak up for yourself.
“What’s with you tonight?” you groaned at Jongseob.
Like a deer caught in headlights, Jongseob looked over to you for the first time that night. His eyes were large but glazed over, the forgotten joint still in his fingers. After a moment of shock he went back to his previous coldness, scoffing at your question.
“Nothing's with me,” he said back.
“You’ve been ignoring me this entire time!” You took a step closer in his direction. “And when you aren't, you’re just nasty,” you spat at him.
“Not true,” Jongseob’s voice cracked, his nerves manifesting physically.
Eyeing him down, you were starting to connect the dots to Jongseob’s odd behavior. Ever since his outburst he had been unquestionably distant, tonight only proving that point further. What made you suspicious was the way he acted whenever Shota interacted with you, tensing up and locking his jaw out of spite. This all started right after the awkward encounter you had with Shota at the cafe when he asked you out.
“You don't like how Shota asked me out. You don't like that he likes me. That’s why you got so upset the other day.”
Jongseob's coldness melted away, a hot embarrassment encapsulating him. His already flush cheeks turned red as you watched him try to come up with a different explanation. This entire time Shota had been off to the side eyeing your conversation, his enlarged pupils watching everything unfold around him.
“Forreal? Do you have a crush on Y/N too?” Shota asked enthusiastically, unaware of the implications of his words.
Jongseob shook his head. “None of this matters,” his blush was starting to spread to his ears and neck.
“It does to me,” you told him, your voice softer but still firm.
Shota piped in quickly. “‘Me too.” He moved so that he was now in between you and Jongseob, making him stagger back a little. Wrapping an arm around your waist, Shota looked back at Jongseob.
“So you don't care if I do this?”
Turning his head back towards you, Shota leaned his head in to press his lips against your neck. You couldn't help yourself from leaning into his touch, memories of your night together infiltrating your mind.
“Cut it out,” Jongseob rushed to grab at Shota’s shoulder to pull him away from you.
Shota followed the motion so that he was now facing Jongseob, letting go of your waist so that you stood behind him. He got right into Jongseob’s face, poking a finger to his chest.
“You know I’m willing to share."
#theo x reader#keeho x reader#jiung x reader#intak x reader#jongseob x reader#soul x reader#p1harmony#p1h keeho#p1h intak#p1h jongseob#p1h soul#p1h x reader#p1h jiung#p1h theo
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obnoxious
@steddiemicrofic October prompt: suck | wc: 480 | G | no warnings |
Eddie and his friends poured over notes in the booth across from Steve and Robin, but had devolved into silence.
Well.
Almost silence.
Gareth tapped a straw against the table top, Jeff scrunched audibly on very crunchy house-made chips, and Freak wrapped his knuckles on the tabletop.
And then there was Eddie.
Bane of Steve's existence.
The light of Steve's life.
Steve leaned against his and Robin's table with a sickeningly fond gaze that he hurled in Eddie's direction as the guy made the most god-awful noise with his straw. It sounded like a vacuum cleaner trying to pull up a mound of kibble. Eddie struggled absentmindedly to pull every single last drop of his Dr. Pepper from the bottom of that glass, to catch every bit of the essence of those 23 flavors as they melted off of the ice and dripped down into the vortex of insanity, as Robin just called it.
"I'm about to smack that out of his hand," she said through clenched teeth.
"I know," Steve practically sighed out, eyes still glazed over as a little smile played at his mouth.
"Really? You look li-"
Eddie shook his glass around obnoxiously, then continued to suck.
Steve could practically feel Robin clench her fists and grit her teeth. "You look like he just saved a kitten from a tree," she spat out, clearly annoyed.
"Oh. No, I have literally never been more annoyed in my entire life," he said, still gazing adoringly at the personification of gravel in a blender.
But that was his personification of gravel in a blender.
"You're ridiculous. And hopeless." And she was at her limit, so she balled up their receipt and chucked it at Eddie's face, but it landed short and on top of his notebook, making him give one last startled suck as the whole table jumped from the intrusion.
Eddie snapped his head over and gave Robin a scowl that matched her own, as he hissed, "What?!" But his face softened into something gooey when he saw Steve's. "Hey," he grinned out.
Steve gave a little wave.
"Would you stop?" she hissed.
"Stop what?"
"Your drink-based chainsaw impersonation!"
Eddie narrowed his eyes at her, then whisper-shouted, "I'm thirsty."
"Get a refill," she whispered forcefully at the same time Steve held out his glass and said, "Have mine."
Eddie smiled brightly at Steve, got up, and took the glass from him with the most ridiculous levels of eye contact between the two of them, then sucked the drink through Steve's straw.
Eddie's face fell.
"Is this diet?"
Steve chortled softly as Eddie looked a little betrayed but still accepted it and sat back down.
"So. As I was saying, there's a bakery with a couple positions listed, and they're willing to see us on Thursd- are you kidding me?!" she quietly shrieked as Eddie's second glass rattled ridiculously again.
#robin and eddie would have the biggest sibling energy to me#and steve is just enamored in general#steddiemicroficoctober#steddie#steddie microfic#steddie fic
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Windows 11 and the Last Straw
Bit of a rant coming up. TL;DR I'm tired of Microsoft, so I'm moving to Linux. After Microsoft's announcement of "Recall" and their plans to further push Copilot as some kind of defining feature of the OS, I'm finally done. I feel like that frog in the boiling water analogy, but I'm noticing the bubbles starting to form and it's time to hop out.
The corporate tech sector recently has been such a disaster full of blind bandwagon hopping (NFTs, ethically dubious "AI" datasets trained on artwork scraped off the net, and creative apps trying to incorporate features that feed off of those datasets). Each and every time it feels like insult to injury toward the arts in general. The out of touch CEOs and tech billionaires behind all this don't understand art, they don't value art, and they never will.
Thankfully, I have a choice. I don't have to let Microsoft feature-creep corporate spyware into my PC. I don't have to let them waste space and CPU cycles on a glorified chatbot that wants me to press the "make art" button. I'm moving to Linux, and I've been inadvertently prepping myself to do it for over a decade now.
I like testing out software: operating systems, web apps, anything really, but especially art programs. Over the years, the open-source community has passionately and tirelessly developed projects like Krita, Inkscape, and Blender into powerhouses that can actually compete in their spaces. All for free, for artists who just want to make things. These are people, real human beings, that care about art and creativity. And every step of the way while Microsoft et al began rotting from the inside, FOSS flourished and only got better. They've more than earned trust from me.
I'm not announcing my move to Linux just to be dramatic and stick it to the man (although it does feel cathartic, haha). I'm going to be using Krita, Inkscape, GIMP, and Blender for all my art once I make the leap, and I'm going to share my experiences here! Maybe it'll help other artists in the long run! I'm honestly excited about it. I worked on the most recent page of Everblue entirely in Krita, and it was a dream how well it worked for me.
Addendum: I'm aware that Microsoft says things like, "Copilot is optional," "Recall is offline, it doesn't upload or harvest your data," "You can turn all these things off." Uh-huh. All that is only true until it isn't. One day Microsoft will take the user's choice away like they've done so many times before. Fool me once, etc.
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midnight blues
dazai x fem!reader angsty, then fluffy warnings: dazai's scars @cafekitsune 4 the divider!!
the whole day had gone by normally, waking up, work, coming home, and going to bed with all the special stuff in between. osamu came to bed with you and insisted on holding very tightly on you to fall asleep.
you fell asleep before him. your head rested on top of his, his bandaged body engulfed around yours. or so you thought. waking up to his side of the bed empty, you immediately got up.
his phone was on his bedside table, and you saw a light coming from the hallway. rubbing your eyes, you saw the bathroom door open halfway. your handsome boyfriend was in his navy blue tank top that you adored.
but something was different. you had seen his scars a handful of times before, never pushing him to show you. you were used to tracing over them mindlessly, pressing kisses to them, seeing how they blend in with his moles..
osamu hadn't spotted you yet. you saw his watery eyes and then saw the bandages that usually covered his left arm were off. fallen to the floor.
squinting to try and look through the blur, your makeup bag was open and he had taken out your concealer and a beauty blender. your heart broke into a million pieces.
he was so focused on covering the scars he didn't see you behind him in the mirror. he was trying his best to figure out how to use your makeup, you saw how sparingly he was using it too.
"..'samu?" you whispered, gently stroking his bandaged shoulder, not wanting to startle the tender skin on the other arm. his bloodshot eyes met your sleepy ones and he opened his mouth to speak.
not a single word came out.
"oh.. osamu." you spoke softly as you cupped his cheek. you had only seen him cry a number of times so little you could count on one hand. you were glad the number was so low, you hated seeing him upset. on the other hand, he trusted you enough with his emotions.
"i just.. wanted to see what i would look like without them. i couldn't sleep. i'm sorry." he slowly spoke, head hanging low.
"do not apologise. i don't mind you using this if that is what you want to do." you gestured to your concealer, sitting on the counter in front of him. "do you want my help? you can't sleep with it on though."
he nodded his head, holding his hand out as you carefully covered his scars. "your scars don't have to be a bad thing, i love all of you." you reassured, only helping him with this because he was clearly overcome by emotion.
you made sure to kiss each scar before you covered it up.
once the arm was done, you gave him a small kiss. he couldn't stop looking at his arm, the arm that had been scarred since before he could remember.
screwing the top of the concealer back on and placing it on the countertop next to you, he is staring at you with complete admiration. "why don't you ever push me to take off my bandages? you've barely ever seen my bare skin." he asks softly.
"because we all have reasons for everything we do. if i ask you to take off your bandages, that is forcefully tearing down one of your barriers that doesn't have to be taken down."
he sighs, your response fitting your always kind nature. his hand covered in makeup moves to take off his bandages on his neck and other arm. "do you want me to do the rest?" you asked, thinking that is what he was getting at.
he shakes his head, fluffy hair following suit. he is showing you his scars. a jungle of purples and pinks, some slashes and some circular. your heart broke as more seemed to appear each time you blinked.
you didn't cry though. you didn't think of crying.
was it upsetting? yes. but this was osamu. and every part of osamu is a part you have devoted yourself to loving. just like he has done for you.
"some of them don't upset me." he mutters, staring at his forearm.
"hm?" you question, only staring at his face.
"this one has a funny story." he laughed solemnly, slowly feeling better. "you will like the story." he began.
"i had an awful day, chuuya was getting on my nerves.. hirotsu was mad at me.." he began to explain how awful the day was, making you question how the scar was funny to him.
"so i went to bar lupin with ango and odasaku.." he smiled to himself. "and we got so drunk we tested out which stool was the spinniest.. of course ango wasn't drinking but he had the same attitude as oda and i.." he laughed to himself, holding eye contact with you.
the pink scar was beginning to look like a fiction book, one found in an old library with soft laughter tied around it like a ribbon.
"and one of the stools ango tested was broken. he went flying across the room!" your boyfriend mimicked an explosion with his hands, "me and oda thought he was doing it on purpose so i tried.." he began to giggle as if a schoolgirl.
"i flew into an empty table, a piece of glass cutting me. hurt like hell getting stitches but what makes it better is oda thought i was joking too.." he smiled as you began to laugh uncontrollably, happy his scars have some good memories attached to them. you knew how the rest of the story went afterwards.
"oda went flying too, but into the bar cat's corner and spooked the cat. got scratched up crazy bad, can't blame the cat though." he was wiping tears from his eyes as he reminisced.
he pulled you into a hug and whispered many thank yous into your hair, wiping off the makeup on his arm. telling many more stupid stories throughout the night.
#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs x reader#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#dazai x reader#osamu dazai x reader#osamu dazai bsd#osamu dazai x y/n#osamu dazai x you
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Hi, hello ,:^
I have come here to ask about your Catshifter!reader AU. I wanted to ask, how does Simon feel about reader not liking him and how do we show it(? >:) because yes, we will bite the one masked man that called us strays, how dare he, but what else? Do we go feral every time his mask comes into view?
And also, maybe if we can get some more instances where Kyle is minding his own business and reader decides that yeah, actually I want attention and if you don't give me it, I will go tell on you to Price.
Happy to have found your blog, by the way, welcome >:)
Omg im sorry this took me so long to respond!! Totally forgot my asks were open 😅
Simon is 100% jealous, he wants the love. Especially after you start opening up and spending more time around the boys. I imagine you stay in cat form for cuddles because of the ability to purr and show general contentedness. He tries to be nicer but he's a big man and he's not quite right. That's alright though, he'll do something in the main story line that will help :)
Kitty 100% launches themself at Kyle when they want attention. No doubt of it in my mind. I'm sorta basing them off of my cat(Blender) bc he's a chaotic gremlin but he's also super sweet too.
If Kyle doesn't give you cuddles? Easy, you'll just try and trip him when he gets up.
Obligatory cat pic of Blender:
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#cat shifter reader#ghost x reader#gaz x reader#gn!reader#cod au#my sillies#squeezing them
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