#every time i start thinking abt this again i start humming 'here on the island of misfit toys...'

[hanzajesthanza]

nooo like reading maria janion's such comprehensive overview of vampires and what defines a vampire and how the myth changes through times and authors, as entirely expected, has contributed to my regis brainrot.

because though it's obvious how many tropes regis subverts as he literally talks about himself, it's more overwhelming when they're all summarized focused on examples from across history and the literature canon, and pretty much hitting none of them or fucking with all of them. because it's not that he just doesn't fit in within his own fantasy universe, but that he doesn't fit in within the broader canonical definition...

"my personal vision of fantasy (...) he is not the typical vampire bloodsucker, according to the dictates of the canon" ... uggghhhh sapkowski, in his witcher, by challenging all genre expectations and tropes, creates all of these characters that don't fit in anywhere, neither in their universe or in the broader canon. and thus, can only find fraternity with each other

i was just reading like 'so... so he doesn't fit in *anywhere*... 🥺'. regis in baptism of fire explaining how he doesn't conform to either vampiric expectations of vampires (socially, for his personal principles) nor of human expectations of vampires (biologically, for his literal existence). but it even goes farther when you look beyond the witcher and to the broader literary and mythological canon. in practically every understanding of a vampire he would not be recognized as one of them... and does he even want to.

[adoringhaikyuu]

they find out you hooked up with their friend/teammate before you started dating | 3

characters: akaashi + iwaizumi + osamu + suna + (gn!reader)

requests: can you do a part 2 to the 'he finds out you hooked up with his best friend' with iwaizumi, suna and bokuto ? thank you and i LOVE your page 💞• by anonymous + s skfhsk s please do a they find out you hooked up with their friend/teammate before you started dating for suna osamu (even better if yn hooked up with his twin omfg) and akaashi 🥺 i love your writing please i will pass away • by anonymous

warnings: the second one is a lil angsty and the last two have suggestive tings 

notes: y’all are too sweet, everyone is 18+ in this! (i’d already gotten another request for bokuto by the time i got the first request so he’s in pt two) + they’re all different lengths btw sorry abt that <3

part one | part two | part three

akaashi:

so you and bokuto hooked up like way before you and akaashi started dating

it was in high school but it wasn’t like there were any feelings involved

...okay maybe he ended up getting a lil crush on you but he got over it

your friends had dared you to hook up with someone to loosen up and you were too nervous to ask your real crush, akaashi (plus you’re not even sure if he was at that party)

and bokuto was kinda chatting u up so u thought why not

(this was before akaashi let him know that he liked you)

it wasn’t until one day that the three of you were hanging out that akaashi found out about it

bokuto had been talking to you and his best friend about this girl he met at a café, he wanted to ask her out but he wasn’t sure how to go about it, so he was asking you two for advice. 

“i’m thinking i take her to watch the stars and then i can swoop in and do my special move. that’ll have her swooning for sure, right?” he smiled to himself and looked at you both as if for reassurance that he was going about this the right way.

akaashi was about to respond when you spoke up first. 

“that thing you do with your tongue?” bokuto nodded, his brows raised up and down, showcasing his confidence. you shook your head immediately, “that’s a little too bold to do right away don’t you think?”

he deflated a bit,  “well... i’m not––” he backpedaled, looking to the side to cover his tracks, “not gonna do it right away...after... a couple dates maybe?” 

before you could say anything else, akaashi spoke up, placing a hand on your thigh to get your attention. you turned to see him looking at you intently, brows slightly furrowed, a small frown on his face. 

“how do you know about his special move?” 

“oh, um...” you blinked a few times and then looked back to bokuto. “we kind of hooked up?” you turned back to your boyfriend and you could see the thoughts processing in his mind. “it was only once though–”

“and what a time it was!–” 

you turned back to look at the loud boy incredulously and he shrugged. “what? i’m just saying you know what you’re doing–”

you rolled your eyes, “you’re not helping here.” you turned to face akaashi fully, taking his hand in yours. you noticed he was a little tense, clearly uncomfortable. “if it makes you feel any better, it’s not like i liked him or anything...to be honest i would’ve hooked up with you that day if i was brave enough to ask you...” 

he looked up at you, eyes wide and quickly glanced down, his cheeks turning pink. 

bokuto spoke up, “wait a minute, so i was second choice?” he crossed his arms and sunk down in his seat, mumbling to himself like a kid. 

you were about to make a comment when you felt akaashi raise your hand and pressed a soft kiss to your knuckles. he gave you a soft smile, “i would’ve liked that...i was too scared to ask you out for a while, bokuto-san is actually the one who convinced me to in the end, so i guess he’s off the hook for using his move on you...” 

bokuto perked up again, “oh great!–”

he pulled you closer to his side, his face serious. “but don’t ask y/n for any more kissing advice or i’m kicking you out.” 

iwaizumi:

when iwa found out that you and oikawa hooked up before you started dating, admittedly he felt a little jealous

but it was mostly just his insecurities, he was used to everyone fawning over his best friend 

and the thought that you were potentially one of those people wasn’t surprising but it kinda upset him

what if you wanted to leave him for oikawa?

you and oikawa were actually the ones who told him that you’d hooked up, while the three of you were hanging out at your place, not thinking much of it since it was a one and done kind of thing for both of you

but you’d noticed the way he’d gotten a bit quieter afterwards, the way he seemed a bit more tense

you waited until oikawa went home to say something

he came back to sit on the couch after locking the door behind his friend and you turned to him. “baby?”

he grunted, eyes focused on his lap. 

“look at me please?” your voice was soft and he couldn’t help but listen, looking up into your eyes sheepishly. you put a hand on his arm, “what’s wrong? i can tell something’s bothering you.”

he looked away and shook his head once, “it’s nothing i just...”

you squeezed his arm reassuringly and he sighed. “just started thinking about you and... shittykawa.”

you moved to sit in his lap and his arms immediately came around to hold you. you placed a hand on his cheek and looked into his eyes fondly and sternly to get the message across. “haji listen to me, i love you and only you. i would never leave you, okay?” 

he nodded but you could tell he was still in his thoughts, so you went on. “i love how thoughtful you are, how sweet you are to me and to your family.” you kissed a spot on his face between every sentence. “i love your voice in the morning when you wake up and the way you tell me you love me every day. i love the way you hold me,” you trailed your hands down to his arms. “and i love your strong arms––” you let your fingers trace his veins and he shifted under you, flustered from your touch and your words. “i love everything about you, haji. i hope you know that...”

he brought his hands up to your cheeks and pulled you in for a kiss, “i know, doll. thank you for that. i love you too, so much. it drives me insane how much i’m in love with you.” his cheeks were dusted pink as he spoke to you and it couldn’t have been more endearing that he was still nervous around you, despite having been together for a good while now. 

“any time.” you smiled, pulling away after giving him another sweet kiss. “plus, you’re a way better kisser than him.” 

he threw his head back and laughed, his hands squeezing your sides as he looked back into your eyes, before kissing you. “oh i’m so telling him that.” 

osamu:

you and atsumu had hooked up once in high school 

...technically

see you were both kinda wasted at a party when it ‘happened’ 

the most you did was kiss and feel each other up, but after you accidentally moaned osamu’s name–––

things ended pretty quickly after that

you don’t know if it’s because you were drunk and mistook atsumu for his brother or if you were secretly wishing it was him, or both

all you know is the two of you agreed to never speak of that ever again

it was embarrassing enough for the both of you

but unfortunately it was one of those memories that came back to haunt you every now and then...even years later, now that you were dating osamu, and living with him

you visibly winced as you thought back to the awkward silence and the way the two of you paused when you said osamu’s name. you shouldn’t have been thinking about this, especially not now, when osamu was literally cooking dinner for you in your home. 

you spaced out for a bit and hadn’t noticed your boyfriend calling for your attention until you saw his hand wave in front of your face. you blinked quickly and looked up at him, “hi! yes i’m here–”

he raised a brow and laughed, amused, coming around the kitchen island to wrap his arms around you and put his head over your shoulder. you sunk into his embrace and he hummed, “what were you thinking about? i asked you what side dish you wanted and you were completely spaced out.” 

you shook your head, “oh um, nothing. i think what we had yesterday would be fine.” 

you tried to move on but he wasn’t having that. he narrowed his eyes as he turned his head to look at you. “well if it’s nothing then you won’t mind telling me, hm?”

his tone was calm but you could tell that he was suspicious and starting to get a little worried. you took a deep breath and buried your face in your hands––it’s not that you wanted to hide it from him, you were just embarrassed is all. 

your shoulders sunk down and you meekly admitted to what you were thinking about, your voice muffled by your palms, the only word osamu able to decipher being his brother’s name. 

he took a sharp intake of breath and stood up, rolling his eyes. “’tsumu? what did that idiot do now––”

you shook your head and took your hands away from your face. “no...it’s not something he did...it was me.” 

osamu crossed his arms and looked down at you, more curious now. “what happened?” 

“it’s not...it wasn’t recent––” he only looked at you blankly, silently telling you to continue. 

you sighed, “well we...hooked up in high school.” you could see his jaw clench. “it was only once, though. and he didn’t––we only kissed and we were fully clothed. honestly it only lasted a few minutes.” 

that seemed to put him at ease a bit more. “well that’s––fine...”

you looked down, “that’s not the bad part.” 

osamu’s hand came under your chin and tilted your head up to look at him, the look in his eyes warm. “come on, you can tell me.” 

you bit your lip, knowing he’d never let you live this down. “it was at suna’s party our third year and we were pretty wasted...we went to a random room and we were kissing and i...” you trailed off, your pride not wanting you to finish your sentence. 

you took a deep breath. “i moaned your name.” 

he blinked at you, once, then twice before he poked his tongue to the side of his mouth, clearly fighting off a laugh. “are you serious?”

you rolled your eyes, “like i would joke about that.” 

“i don’t know if that’s really funny or really sad, i feel like it’s both-”

“hey!-”

he laughed, “i’m sorry, i’m sorry.” he pulled you in for a hug and you reluctantly held him back. “oh man that must’ve been such a blow to his ego,” he cackled.

you frowned, “stop samu, i felt really bad, i still do–”

he rolled his eyes, “he’s fine.” he looked down at you with a smirk, “so you’ve had a crush on me since we were juniors, huh?”

you raised a brow, “do i have to moan his name now to fix your ego?” 

he narrowed his eyes, “not unless you wanna be punished, no.”

that honestly didn’t sound too bad. 

suna:

you and osamu hooked up on and off for a few months 

you were kinda friends with benefits tbh but no one knew about it 

well atsumu found out but that was an accident he just came home earlier than expected one day and caught you two

but other than him, and your best friend, no one knew

not even suna

i mean why would you tell him, it’s been years and it didn’t matter

you’d pushed it to the back of your mind and hadn’t expected it to come up ever again

however––

one day suna went to hang out with his old teammates and atsumu for some reason decided to blurt out that you and his brother used to hook up, not thinking much of it––honestly it’s a shocker he kept it a secret for as long as he did

when suna came home, you were lying down in bed, scrolling on your phone and you perked up when you heard him get in, looking back to your screen. 

“hi baby, how was it?” 

he didn’t answer and you were about to sit up when you felt to hands pull you down by your legs. you looked up, eyes wide to see your boyfriend standing above you, a spark hiding behind his seemingly bored eyes. 

you tilted your head questioningly and he took your phone from your hands, throwing it aside. “atsumu told me something real interesting today.” 

you raised a brow, thinking it was something ridiculous. “oh yeah?” 

he nodded, his hands reaching for the hem of your sweatpants, making your breath hitch. “mhm. and you know, it’s not that i care.” he pulled them down after making sure you were okay with it. “but it did bother me, i won’t lie.” 

he reached for your underwear as well, licking his lips when they were out of the way. “he told me that you and osamu used to be fuck buddies.” you looked up at him, speechless for a few seconds but he kept going. “m’not mad, that would be stupid.” he lied down between your legs and looked up at you, a glint in his eyes. “but i feel like reminding you you’re mine, so i’m gonna play with you for a while, okay?” 

how could you say no to that––

[3rensgf]

rent a gf - two eren yeager x reader

word count: 2.9k

warnings: mentions of sex, talks about "getting bitches", eren is an idiot, fuckboy!eren implied, tatbilb mention, uhh fluff idk theres not much to warn abt in here, not beta read

notes: chapter two is out! i'm really glad a lot of people are enjoying rent a gf. it really means a lot! i see some people commented on the previous chapter, and i would love to reply to them, but i'm not familiar with tumblrs commenting system D: if you wanna leave a comment for me to just read, that's fine you can still keep commenting here on tumblr. but if you would like me to reply to it, you can comment on ao3, and i will reply! happy reading :) p.s, waffles w whipped cream r so much better

[ read on ao3 ]

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In the early hours of Saturday morning, you felt a hand shaking your shoulder to wake you. Groaning and mumbling, you sleepily swatted the hand away and pulled the covers over your head. No one should be forced to wake up early on the weekends. It was Saturday, for fucks sake. Not to mention your hangover due to last nights mistakes was making your head throb.

The hand rested on your shoulder once more, shaking you gently. “(Y/N),” Mikasa said softly. “Your alarm has been going off for the past 10 minutes. Wake up. I have water and Advil.”

“Nooooo,” you moaned, snuggling deeper into your bed. “Don’ wanna.”

Mikasa stopped bothering you for a moment, and you let your guard down. Finally you could sleep. When it was time to wake up, you’d wake up.

Right as you were about to pass out again, your blanket was roughly tugged off of you. “Mikasaaa!” you whined, covering your face with your hands. “What was that for? I was trying to sleep.”

“Get up. You have to shower and get ready for lunch with Eren today. Breakfast is almost finished,” she explained, setting down the pills and water on your bedside table. “Go brush your teeth and wash your face so you can eat. Now,” she instructed sternly, moving to your window to open the curtains. The bright sunlight hit your still half-asleep face, making you hiss quietly.

She left the room moments after, probably to check up on breakfast. Honestly, you didn’t know how she could function this early in the morning despite having partied all night last night. Curse her and her inability to get hungover.

Grumbling to yourself, you adjusted your sleep clothes that had gotten disheveled overnight to make sure you looked decent. Your sleepy gaze wandered over to your nightstand to see two Advils on a napkin beside a glass of cold water. Thanking every higher power for sending Mikasa to you, you downed both pills and the glass of water. Even though you might bitch and moan to her constantly, you really weren’t lying when you said you’d die without Mikasa.

After sitting down at the edge of your bed for a few moments, you eventually shuffled into the bathroom to brush your teeth and do your morning routine. It took longer than usual thanks to your sluggish and tired movements, but you got done nevertheless.

A wonderful aroma came from the kitchen when you left, stomach grumbling in anticipation for the wonderful food you were about to scarf down. Mikasa was in the process of setting down both your breakfasts on the island, sitting down on the stools when you walked in. “Morning, Sleeping Beauty,” she greeted, resting her chin on her hands.

“Morning, sweet angel,” you replied, sitting at the stool beside her. In front of you was a plate of Funfetti pancakes with whipped cream instead of maple syrup (syrup was for pancakes only). There were a couple of cut up fruits beside them, too. “Where did you get these?” you asked, picking up your fork to take a bite of your breakfast.

Mikasa dug into her own breakfast of oatmeal as soon as you started eating. “Went grocery shopping and saw the mix in the baking aisle. I thought you’d like it,” she explained, taking a bite of her food. “Good?”

Your response was a moan, tilting your head back as you chewed. “Insanely,” you said, cutting up another bite. You stabbed the piece with your fork and guided it to Mikasa, keeping your hand under it to catch anything if it dropped.

She finished her bite and leaned in to take the bite, humming in satisfaction at the taste. “Good,” she nodded.

“They put like crack ‘n this shit,” you said through a full mouth, shoveling forkful after forkful into your mouth.

You could feel Mikasa's judging gaze for eating like a pig, but you didn’t care. All you cared about was eating these crack laced waffles as greedily as possible. “What time are you supposed to meet Eren today?” she asked to make conversation.

You remember drunkenly slurring to her that Eren was supposed to take you out for lunch today while she was trying to put you to bed. All she did was nod and dodge your flailing limbs while she tried to change you into your night clothes.

“Uhhh,” you trailed off, “I dunno actually. I think he’s gonna text me when.” The familiar notification from your phone indicated you had a text from Eren. “Right now.”

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:04 AM picking u up at 12 dont be late

you - 9:04 AM k

ren ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ - 9:05 AM dont use k with me that makes me sad :(

you - 9:05 AM k

“He says 12,” you told Mikasa, setting your phone back down on the table. You went to go take another bite of your waffles, only to be met with stray bits of whipped cream and waffle crumbs. How disappointing.

“You have time to get ready then,” she said, finishing up the last bit of her own breakfast. Holding her plate, she got up to go put it in the sink, taking your plate for you as well. Literally an angel.

Suddenly, she leaned in to sniff you like the weird English professor you had your freshman year and cringed. “You’re gonna need all the time you can get. You stink.”

Never mind, not an angel.

Grumbling and cursing under your breath, you got off the stool to go take a shower. “And here I was about to offer to get you something for lunch while I was out.”

“A burger from the joint I like would be nice. So would a Coke and side of onion rings.”

“Size?”

“Medium for both.”

You would’ve caved in and bought her something, anyways. Might as well know what she wanted in the first place.

Showering took longer than expected. Most of your time got wasted by you standing under the shower stream and soaking in all the warmth. It wasn’t until Mikasa knocked on the door asking you not to use up all the hot water that made you actually start going through your routine.

The clock read 10:09 when you got out. You still had more time to kill until Eren came, so you elected to sit on your bed in your towel to scroll through social media. At 10:45, you started to get ready for real now.

Your makeup was just enough to cover any imperfections on your face, and your outfit cute enough for a lunch outing with your friend-fuckbuddy.

At 11:50, you stepped out into the living room with your belongings in hand to lounge around while you waited for Eren. You would’ve gone to bug Mikasa, but she had just stepped into the shower minutes prior.

12 on the dot, a rhythmic knocking was rapped on your door, meaning Eren was finally here. Skipping over to the door, you opened it to reveal him while slipping on your shoes.

“Hey,” he grinned when the door opened. He leaned in to give you a kiss on the lips after you’d straightened up from putting on your shoes.

A grin found its way on your lips during the kiss. It only lasted a couple of seconds, ending with you pulling away with a quiet smack. “Hi,” you greeted back.

“Ready to go?” he asked, one hand leaving his jacket pocket to jut his thumb down the hallway towards the elevators.

“Yup, ready,” you said. Over your shoulder, you yelled into the apartment to say goodbye to Mikasa and locking the door once you closed. “Okay, ready for real now.”

There was a new hot pot restaurant near campus, Eren told you, that he so desperately wanted to try. He overheard some people talking about the place in his Stats class, and he’s been wanting to go ever since.

“So, about what I told you last night,” he said, leaning on the table close to you after giving your orders to the waitress. “You said you would help me get Mina.”

“I said it was a bad idea,” you countered, taking a sip of your drink.

“But you said you would help me. For a price.”

“That I… did say,” you sighed. “What’s your plan?”

Smiling, he opened up his jacket and dug into the inner pockets, getting out a small notepad and a pen. Your eyebrows raised at the sight of them. “Okay,” he started, flipping through his notepad. “So I was thinking about it this morning, and this is what I have down so far.”

Sliding it towards you, he waited impatiently for you to read what he had.

Your lips pursed to prevent giggled from leaving your lips. Well, it was a plan, alright. Written in Eren’s chicken scratch of handwriting were a few very simple steps.

eren yaegers fool proof plan to get bitches get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. talk to mina to get her interested in you ✓ 2. get hot girl ((Y/N)) to pretend to be your gf and show you can be a good bf 3. get mina jealous so she wants you even more and not poopy thomas wanker 4. “break up” with (Y/N) and pretend to be sad 5. get mina to comfort you 6. get bitches make mina your gf 7. pay (Y/N) for her services 8. ta-da!

When you looked up from the notepad, you saw Eren waiting for your answer. “Well? What do you think? Is it any good?” he asked.

“Were you high when you wrote this?” was the first thing you asked him. Eren shook his head innocently. “You’re 100% serious?” He nodded.

You bit your lip, deep in thought about Eren’s supposedly fool proof plan. “What makes you think it’s gonna work?”

“I know girls and how they act. If Paradis University let me major in women -- don’t get smart with me I don’t mean Women Studies -- I would be passing all my classes with flying colors. I know it’ll work, trust me,” he said cockily, leaning back in his chair.

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do. I know you. I know everything about you, (Y/N). I even know how to make you scream my name in--”

“Okay!” you cut him off, not wanting the strangers around you to know the intimate details of your sex life with Eren. “Okay.”

“I knew you were gonna do that. See, I do know women.”

A moment or two passed, both of you staring at each other. You with a deadpan expression, and him with a proud one. You were the first one to break the silence with a heavy sigh. “Okay, say I agree to this. What do I get in return?”

“Anything you want,” he said. “Within reason, of course. Please don’t ask me to like, hide a body or something.”

Ignoring his last comment, you continued speaking, “You’re not allowed to back out of whatever I ask you to, right? If this plan fails or succeeds, you still owe me whatever you promised.”

Eren nodded. “Of course. I swear on it.” He shifted a little so his elbow was on the table, holding out a pinky. Instinctively, you held out your pinky as well and intertwined the both of them. Pinky promises were something you and Eren had been doing for years now. It meant that the other was dead serious on their promise.

The waitress came back with your broth and dipping ingredients, setting them on the table for you right when your pinkes left each other. Thanking the waitress, the two of you talked some more while you waited for the broth to heat up.

“We should make it official. With a contract and set of rules,” he said. “Like that one movie you forced me to watch with you. The Boys I Loved or some shit like that.”

“To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before,” you corrected.

“Yeah, that. They’re kinda doing something like us, yeah?”

“Guess so,” you shrugged, picking up your chopsticks and a sice of pork belly when the broth started to boil. “After we eat though.”

Idle chatter was shared between the two of you as you ate. Even though you saw each other nearly every day, you never ran out of things to talk to. You could be talking about complete nonsense or how quantum physics made no sense, and you would still have the best time of your life.

By now, the broth had been drunk up and the table had been cleared out to be replaced with banana milk and ice cream. Eren brought out his notepad again to write down the set of rules for your fake relationship while enjoying your desserts.

Good progress had been written so far on the notepad. Both of you had given input and criticism on each rule made. In the end, you finally had a good set of rules written down.

(Y/N) and erens contract and rules for eren yaegers fool proof plan to get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. act normally. eren and (Y/N) act like a couple already. just double the pda a little more 2. don’t tell anyone about the deal. the more people who believe in the relationship, the more likely it is for the plan to work 3. post each other on ig a lot. maybe add names and a date to bios to make it more believable 4. date night every saturday (go out or just hang out) 5. go to parties together 6. walk each other to class if you can 7. call each other cute pet names 8. after breaking up, the couple act has to stop including the sex 9. DON’T SLIP UP

payment for (Y/N):

Eren tapped a beat on the notepad, reading “payment” over and over again. Eventually he looked up at you, deep in thought. “Have you thought of anything so far?” he asked, clicking the pen to write what you wanted.

This was a tough decision. Eren was ready to give you anything to help him get Mina. You had to be wise and pick something big to take advantage of him. Something you were sure you wouldn’t ever regret getting.

“How about,” you started, trailing off, “you do my laundry for the rest of our time at ParadisU, buy me lunch every Wednesday even after we break up, recommend that godsend of a tutor you keep gatekeeping to help me too, and…”

“And?” Eren asked, looking up from his writing, waiting for your next words.

“All the orgasms I want during our relationship,” you finished, satisfied with what you chose.

“Is that all?” he asked, writing down the last of your words. “That’s a lot.”

“How about I let you know if I wanna add more,” you said. Eren nodded in response. His head hung to look at the notepad again, writing something down. Once he was done, he plaed the pen on the pad and slid it to you.

“Sign it so it’s official,” he instructed.

There were two lines beside each other, one already with Eren’s signature. Without hesitation, you signed your name neatly on the paper, giving the items back to Eren once you were done.

(Y/N) and erens contract and rules for eren yaegers fool proof plan to get mina aka operation rent a gf by eren yaeger 1. act normally. eren and (Y/N) act like a couple already. just double the pda a little more 2. don’t tell anyone about the deal. the more people who believe in the relationship, the more likely it is for the plan to work 3. post each other on ig a lot. maybe add names and a date to bios to make it more believable 4. date night every saturday (go out or just hang out) 5. go to parties together 6. walk each other to class if you can 7. call each other cute pet names 8. after breaking up, the couple act has to stop including the sex 9. DON’T SLIP UP

payment for (Y/N): eren has to do the (Y/N)’s laundry for the rest of university, buy her lunch ever wednesday, get tutor to help her and give her as many orgasms as she wants during the course of the relationship

signed x eren yaeger x (y/n) (l/n)

The two of you shook hands when Eren put away his things, to seal the deal again. The waitress came by again to give you the bill and collect your dirty dishes. Eren set down the cash needed to pay along with a tip in the check presenter before the two of you left.

You walked hand in hand back to Erens car before you realized you missed something. “Wait. What do we tell people when they ask how we got together?” you asked, pausing in your tracks.

Eren stopped with you, turning to look at you. “Um, you can say I confessed after lunch, and that this is technically our first date,” he suggested, tugging your hand to walk back to the car.

“Huh. Okay. That works,” you nodded.

The two of you got into the car a little bit past 2:30 in the afternoon, ready to go home. “Wait,” you said again, making Eren pause. “Mikasa wanted a burger from that one joint near our apartment. Could you take me there first?”

Eren smiled and nodded, starting the car. “Of course. Burger with medium Coke and onion rings?”

“How did you know?”

“She always gets that when we go there.”

“Huh… I guess you’re right.”

“When am I not?”

"Always."

taglist - @thestrugglesofateenagedirtbag , @lazalee , @countthemoons , @se-va-muriendo-mialma , @liaxxx109 , @prxttyguardian , @jeansbabycake

italic names, it wouldn't let me tag you!

3rensgf © 2021 ; do not repost or translate my work.

[fluffymcu]

Confessions (Bucky x reader)

Okay so..... to my surprise, I was able to finish this fic tonight. @dropyoursocksandgrabyourcrocss suggested I make this a funny fic with Bucky. I tried my best lol. I do my funniest in person, not in writing but hopefully you enjoy. Also the reader will be drunk. Again, I’m not at all good at writing drunk behavior. I’m 17 so I’ve never drank or been around anyone who is drunk. So I’m basing it off of what I would imagine being drunk would be, and of what I’ve seen in movies. :)) thank you.

You and Bucky were best friends. You were the one who helped him mentally recover when he escaped from hydra. He had met you in a gym. He was working out and...you were cheering your friends on from a bench. Eating. Donuts. Bucky found the scene to be quite funny so he confronted you, introducing himself and asking for a donut. You both got to talking and you had a lot in common. You know, except for being captured and tortured for years and the passion for fitness. That was 4 years ago. Your relationship has grown so much since. And you both had a slight crush on each other. And by slight, you mean giganticus.

Bucky furrowed his eyebrows as he dug into his pocket trying to take out his cellphone. When he took it out, his heart fluttered for a half second as he noticed there was a notification with your name on it. He opened it.

Ican’t stopp thinking abt uuuuu!❤️❤️❤️❤️💕💕💕💕💕💕❤️❤️💕❤️❤️❤️

He furrowed his eyebrows again at the text. Was it meant for him? Did you accidentally send it to him?

Y/n?

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😘🤣🥰😘🤣😝😛😛💕alllllll these guys here and I still only have eyesss 4u!

He wondered what could be the reason for these strange texts...and emojis. You never used emojis. Except for when you were....

Are you drunk?

Nop. You? Noppp I’m not even drinking. But I AM THINKING about uuuu! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰❤️❤️

Bucky sighed and got up from his couch and put his jacket on, ready to pick you up. He made sure to wear some comfy clothes since he had a feeling he was staying the night at your house.

Where are you?

Mmmmmm at the bar on 41st street. But I’m nottt drinking tho. Toatally sober :)))))

*tatally**

***totally** lollll

Stay where you are. I’ll be there in ten.

Yayyyyy🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Bucky got in his car and pulled out from his driveway as fast as he could and made his way to 41st street.

Meanwhile, you were at the bar, dancing away and falling repeatedly on the floor. Random guys would help you up every time you fell. You would thank them, they’d ask you out, and you’d say you were taken. But only for today. Thank god they were drunk as well, so they believed your lie and left alone. About 10 minutes later, you fall once again, only to be picked up.

You’re about to thank the random man only to realize that this time, it’s Bucky. Your eyes light up and you squeal, wrapping your arms around him.

“Bucky!! You’re here!” Bucky wraps his arms around you to hug you back.

“Yeah, I am, doll. Let’s get you home okay?” He said, lifting you up bridal style. You wrapped your arms around his neck and gazed your glossy eyes into his.

“I’d go anywhere with you, Bucky Barnes.” You gushed. This making Bucky blush slightly. But you were too drunk to notice or call him out on it.

The ride home was relatively quiet. You were stretched out in the back seat, humming to no music and tracing shapes on the hood of the car. “So...sober, huh?” He chuckled. You giggled loudly and nodded.

“Yyyyup! 100 percent sober!” You slurred.

“Liar.” He scoffed. He finally pulled up to your apartment and helped you out of the car. Once you both got inside, you wobbled over to the fridge, immediately opening it and searching for food.

“Step away from the refrigerator.” Bucky slowly said. You turned to look at him with wide eyes.

“But... I’m hungry.” You whispered.

“I think you’ve had enough stuff in your body. You drank excessively and knowing you, you probably ordered everything on the menu; I still don’t understand how you don’t gain any weight. I don’t think you’re hungry, I think you’re bored.” Bucky said, leading you away from the refrigerator.

“Then entertain me!” You groaned. Bucky scoffed and lead you to your bedroom.

“It’s too late for entertainment, young lady, you need to go to bed. Come on. Get undressed while I get your pyjamas.” He walked torwards you drawers and picked out some shorts and a matching tank while you took off your heels. When you were just in your undergarments, Bucky, still facing away from you, passed you your pjs and you put them on, occasionally tripping over.

“Mkay, I’m done.” You sighed. Bucky turned around and layed you on your bed and tucked you in. You stared into his eyes shamelessly before sighing. “You’re so handsome.” Bucky looked down, blushing.

“That’s just the alcohol talking.” He murmured out loud; even though it was mostly directed towards himself. You shook your head and hummed.

“No. I mean it. I’ve liked you since I layed my eyes on you at the gym. I’ve loved you.” You smiled slightly. Bucky’s eyes met yours at your words. He stared at you for a second before snapping out of it.

“Right. Well, I’ll be in the living room if you need me. I’ll sleep on the couch. Goodnight y/n.” He smiled, leaving you to drift off into sleep.

He plopped down on the couch and thought about the words you had just told him. He didn’t want to believe it. He wanted to believe that it really was just the alcohol talking yet he never wanted anything more than for those words to be true. He needed to stop being afraid of being hurt, and let himself be happy. He smiled to himself, optimistic about tomorrow to see if you meant what you said.

The next morning, Bucky was up making breakfast for the two of you, waiting for you to wake up. He had a smile on his face, and a bounce in his step. It was now about 11:30 when he heard your dragged footsteps come out of your room.

He heard a long groan from your direction, making him smile widely. “Good morning, sleepy head!” He greeted, making sure to sound extra cheery to annoy you.

“Ughh, more like hungover head. What’s for breakfast?” You sighed. You looked over at the stove and saw eggs and bacon. You smiled then instantly frowned. “Did I have bacon?”

“No, I ran to the store real quick this morning and got some. I had already started the eggs when I noticed you didn’t have any.” You nodded your head and hummed.

You took a seat on the island and watched him cook. “So... do you remember anything from yesterday?” He asked, turning around to look at you for a brief second before attending the food again.

You thought back to the night before but couldn’t remember much. “Mm, not really. Just taking the taxi to the bar and then being in the backseat when you drove me home. Oh and I texted someone a bunch of emojis.”

Bucky chuckled. “Yeah, you sent them to me.” Your eyes widened.

“Really?” Bucky nodded.

“And...” Bucky paused, making sure to get his words right. “You also described with detail your profound liking to me. Or well, quoting you: “love.” Your eyes widened even more as your face went completely red.

“What? No, I didn’t.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“No. I didn’t.”

“Yeah, you kinda did.” He pointed his finger at you with an apologetic smirk on his face.

“No. I couldn’t have. I know how to keep myself under control when I’m drunk.”

“Ehh, I beg to differ.”

“Shut up. No, you’re making this up.” You said, getting up and walking to the couch. You were so embarrassed. Suddenly everything that happened last night started flooding into your mind. The texts. The emojis. The flirting. The confessions. The confessions! You confessed your love for him! You swallowed thickly. You were so lost in thought that you didn’t even realize that Bucky had sat down next to you.

“Hey, it’s okay. I-”

“I still think you’re making this up. I don’t even remember saying that.” Bucky chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“Come on, doll. I can show you the texts you sent me as proof. I know you remember. Just admit it. Come on.” He said, getting tired of going around in circles and poking your side, making you flinch.

“Don’t.”

“Admit it then.” He said with another poke. Your lips curling up a bit.

“But I didn’t say-”

“Yes you did.” He nodded. You smiled and tried to hide it by looking away. He then moved to your ribs, one of your worst spots, starting with a squeeze. You squeaked, and shuffled away from him.

“Bucky, I- I can’t. I don’t remember saying that.”

“Oh come on! Just admit it! Admit it so I can tell you I love you too!” Your eyes almost popped out of your eye sockets as you turned around to look at him.

“Wait, what?!” You weren’t allowed to think any further as you were now victim of a full blown tickle attack to you ribs.

“What??” Bucky asked, acting oblivious to what he’s doing.

“Whahahahahat?” You giggled hysterically, trying to wiggle out of his trap without success.

“What, what? I’m not saying anything else until you admit it. It’s easy.” He said nonchalantly, blowing a raspberry on your neck. You squealed and cackled when his hands traveled down to your hips, him pushing you down and straddling your legs. “It’s gonna get worse by the second y/n, admit it while you still can.”

You shook your head, jolting as his thumbs dug into the space right about your hips. “STOHOHOHOP! YOU CAHAHANT JUHUST DOHOHO THIS TO MEHEHE WHENEVEHEHER YOU WAHANT SOMETHING!” You slapped at his hands repeatedly.

“Yeah, but this is important. We’re confessing. Well, we would be if you weren’t being so stubborn!” He smirked before blowing a raspberry on your belly, making you cackle and kick out your legs. You groaned audibly.

“Arrrh, IM HUNGOVER!” You screamed all in one breath, making Bucky burst out laughing. “LEHEHEAVE ME ALOHOHONE!”

“You know I don’t give up easily, y/n/n. Just admit it already. I’ve already told you I feel the same way.” He said, slowing down, now only scratching lightly at your sides to keep you giggling.

“Okahahahahay! Okahahay, I admit it!” You sighed, pushing his arms away. Bucky chuckled but stayed on your lap.

“And that is...” you rolled your eyes.

“I love you, Bucky. I’ve loved you since I saw your sweaty self approach me at the gym and ask me for a donut all those years ago.” You smiled at the memory that felt like yesterday.

“You know, you made it sound much more romantic when you were drunk.” He squinted his eyes at you, laughing with you before leaning down and finally doing what he had been wanting to do to you for 4 years.

By that I meant kiss you. Come on, let’s keep it PG-13 guys. Thanks.

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 15

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY LOSES THEIR SHIT ON MAIN:

“Tell her I said: fuck you, you miserable, conniving bitch. I don’t answer her summons. I don’t obey her orders. I’m through. I’m through with her, with all of you—”

THERE’S LORE, BUT IMPORTANTLY MURPHY REMEMBERS WHY THEY THINK CINDER’S HOT. LITERALLY.

already??? already??? yes, already. this chapter is called ‘nothing personal’ anmd i think that this is a lie. this is abt to get very personal very quickly.

It had taken two more days for Glynda’s soul to become bearable enough for Cinder to sit next to her on a bus.

out of the funniest lines they could have used to open the chapter up, this is just Peak. there’s so many moving parts to this. glynda’s rank soul. cinder having to be nice for TWO DAYS to make her chill out. the fact they’re taking the most menial form of transport of all time. oh my god they were sat beside each other. this is already so funny.

Gravity Dust glittered like volcanic glass.

👈😎👈 we sure love volcanoes around here huh

The clearing Cinder found was some twenty minutes from where she left Glynda with instructions for something salty for her.

im almost POSITIVE im not supposed to find these lines funny but cinder you are RADIATING salt you are COMPOSED ENTIRELY of salt please. you’ve asked for smthng salty and glynda’s gonna come back announcing she’s foiled all yr plans on accident again.

Mercury had stopped sending messages a month and a half ago. Emerald’s last one was a week old.

im almost definitely mentioned it in a prior liveblog but its worth remembering: cinder’s relationship w/ merc and em rly was the deciding factor in me suddenly loving her as a character and i just. every interaction they have hurts so good. cinders got TWO kids and even if her face says otherwise she loves them very much and that heals me on the inside

“There’s no way anyone knows about this island. We’re the only ones out here. Merc and I have to get his shitty frozen pizzas airshipped in.”

“Still. Be careful.” She paused for a moment. “...Is that all he’s eating?”

“You know he’d die before he ate a vegetable.”

“He will, at this rate.”

I LOVE U MOMMA CINDER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this is SO good. this section HEALS ME!!!!!!!! which is good because i have a feeling the rest of this will gore me alive

"I promise. At the end of all of this, I'm coming back and I'm not leaving again. Trust me."

aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA god u cant tell thru text alone but this section is K I L L I N G me and H E A L I N G me and also KIL L I

“It doesn’t have anything to do with trust,” Cinder said, miserably. “I need you to be safe.”

N G M E

The line between us and them had felt so concrete.

god i just. theres so much i still cant say that isnt 👈👈👈😨👈👈👈 but cinder and hati and all this other STUFF happening in the bg is so good and i just love how nuanced this dumbass is. cinder fall, the woman who never wins, and her brief moments of comfort. she is my ANGEEEEEEEEEEL

Now the only thing left was to deliver her to Atlas; if she had to speak with her more to do that, she would.

Not that she wanted to have to admit that to Hati.

cinder:there’s a lot of we and our going on and i’m a little nervous that the more we talk the more thats gonna happen and i gotta say; not a fan.

and [Glynda]’s desperate for—”

A heritage? A purpose? Belonging?

“She’s desperate,” Cinder finished, softly. Then: “She’s coming willingly.”

this might be another 👈😎👈 situation or im just drawing parallels like a three year old with a newfound ruler but HRM. CINDER. HRM.

Rather, her stomach twisted at the implications. Everything was ready. The machine worked. All that was left was to deliver the final piece.

“Okay. Good.” It was good. It was the culmination of years of work.

whats good and fun is watching cinder wrestle w/ her own humanity and its rly good because even as she tries her very best to use ppl to her own ends that pesky lil soft bitch inside makes her second guess everything and its GREAT fun. u can rly see that as soon as she spends longer than an allotted 10 minutes w/ somebody she starts being like ‘hrm. oh no’. oh cinder. u soft bitch. ilu.

The spot beneath his wing, though… Cinder folded into it as though it were meant for her, as though they were meant for each other, bodies fitted so easily. Here, safe, she closed her eyes and dreamed bleakly of the days to come.

i swear to god i cannot wait until [redacted] and [redacted] and [REDACTED] happens cause then i can lose my shit abt this ALL OVER AGAIN but for now. for now. immerse myself in cinder cuddles. im holding back but on the inside im feral

but Cinder was all calm, sliding through the trees like she belonged here. Like it was her domain by birthright.

FERAL.... FERAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Because they were not friends, Glynda asked, “Where are we going?”

i love that glynda has to preface it like a reminder. because they were not friends. because she cannot trust winter. because she blocked oz’s number lmao. it’s great seeing how much more... clinical, i guess, glynda’s thoughts are, and it’s a great way to show the narratives differences? its GOOD is what im trying 2 say on main,

Instead, she complained, “It’s so difficult to be so wanted.”

firstly: i love cinder “i have a complaint” fall is secondly: i am going to read into this. i am going to read into this and divine a second meaning. i am reading into it.

Cinder emerged from the dark like a leviathan sloughing off a sunless sea. It rippled around her shoulders, swallowed the back of her skull, but the only sharpness to her was her smile. It was the first time Cinder had smiled since returning from her meeting with the Manticore.

oho. ohoohohohoooohohohooOUGHHOHOHO she hot. nasty mean lady big hott.

“You don’t scare me,” Glynda insisted.

“Silly you,” said Cinder. “Come on. I’ll lead.”

hohogughgohohoghgh f flirtign.......................,,,,,,,,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.

a faint light was stirring to life before her—suffusing out along Cinder’s chest and throat, spilling from her heart and out through her skin. In the beginning, it was so faint it seemed to be an illusion; but no, soon enough it was undeniable, and Glynda could even make out the rough shapes of the wall and floor.

YEEEEEEEEES i love. glowy lantern cinder. like theres a lot of fun little canons abt cinder in this fic i adore but the fact that she glows is like fuckin TOP. look at her. lil candle baby. shes like a microwave bean toy. i adore her.

She walked like a queen through her domain, seemingly irrespective of where on Remnant they were; even here, underground, in forgotten left-behind places, Cinder reigned.

god im sorry im too busy being gay to even be paying attention to anything rn i LOVE cinder to DEATH,,,,,,,,,, she knows shes the thing 2 be feared around here and its so good. i cant wait for her to open her big mouth and fuck it up again!!!

“High Leader Khan requires your presence in Mistral, Ms. Fall. She advises that you attend promptly, in order to discuss the missing members of our organization.”

A hum. Cinder said, “I don’t want to.”

GHSDFGSDFGHKJDF cinder you are. smthng else. shes just so LIKE THAT. what a great chapter for cinder this has been im SIPPIN baby

okay im doing a lot of leaping haead here and its not for lack of having anything 2 say in fact its QUITE the opposite because this whole bit is. wow. we got lore??? lore??? abt so many things??? what does any of it mean????? I AM NOT SURE BUT IM LOVIN IT (tm)

“It’s not a Semblance, idiot.” The control in Cinder’s voice was all staccato, pitching cold to inferno in an instant. “It was a gift.

okay bear with me for this JUICY LORE but i am Deeply fascinated by this section. im not gonna. say anything because idk how this is tying up yet (bear with) but HOO. HOOOOOOO. im trying to like keep grabbing sections but this whole part is SO GOOD i am loving-- like-- id have to-- TRUST ME THE OG WASNT AS SPICY AS THIS OKAY

THIS IS SO MUCH SPICER AND ITS GOOD

Cinder glowed like the magma heart of a volcano.

ITS SPICY ITS GOOD ITS 👈😍👈

im gonna have to reread this bit to get the full effect because the downside of a liveblog like this is having to stop-start but OUGHGHGHGUGHUGH THE LORE,,, THE MASKS,,, THE FANG??? also sienna dont listen 2 her baby i love u too

Cinder looked like a line to be crossed, and even though they weren’t friends—rather the opposite—Glynda found she didn’t want to cross her. Not now, when the emotion was still raw on her face.

oughgh... the vulnerability. cinder... snoft... but also angery 😔

this was SUCH a good chapter im DYING i love cinder in offal hunt to BITS and this arc is already feeding me so much good shit. fuck yea. FUCK YEA. HELL YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--