#every time i look at chapter 3 i say 'merp'

[bereft-of-frogs]

‘bound, at the end of the world progress’:

chapter 1: 7k words, only like two half scenes left to write

chapter 2: 6.6k words, a lot left to go, this seems to be developing into a bit of a monster chapter

chapter 3: 600 words. Merp

[I’m hesitating to start posting until I have all of it written, because I’ve already changed a bit of the plot around based on writing, so I don’t want to like trap myself in a corner...but we’re going to marathon this guys, it’s okay, I’m technically unemployed right now, it’ll be great ;-) ]

[shortstrangestories-blog]

Life After Death

Part One

Do you know what it's like? To be living one day, living life normally and suddenly that stops and everything comes into question. How the life you once knew, the life you cultivated yourself, suddenly comes to an end.

There are so many stories and religions that have been developed to persuade you what happens when you die. Some say reincarnation, living as one animal and onto the next until you reach complete enlightenment, assuming you don’t mess up and aren't downgraded an animal. Some believe that the choices you make while living that determines whether you venture to heaven or hell. So many misleading results that have obviously never been proven, and how could they be?

Well, what I am here to tell you, is not what happens to everyone. I’m not sure if this will even reach anyone. But I am here to tell you a little story on what my personal experience was with death.

Chapter 1:

I was always different. Born different, and I knew it. Ever since I was a little girl, I have always the odd one out. I’m not saying I was bullied for it or anything, but my friends were different as well. I could have been the popular kid dating the best looking boy in school but I knew my place. In elementary school, I hung out with the kids who had nothing and my mom would always ask me “Why do you always bring the stray kids home?”, and it was true. It might have been the fact that I didn’t know any better, or the fact that I was just happy with them because I knew they would be true to me.

Like many other kids in my generation, I was an internet wiz. I would spend hours a day on there and by the time I hit grade 8, I was introduced to the beautiful and extraordinary world of Tumblr. If you don’t know Tumblr then you are reading the wrong story. Tumblr was this amazing community of outside kids much like me, and we all escaped to it.

Once that ended and I moved onto high school, nothing changed. I was still choosing to be the outside kid, except Tumblr introduced me to a world I wanted desperately to be apart of: The Scene/Emo kid community. Being from a small town there were maybe 2 of us in my high school alone; doesn’t help that I chose the smart school, which was full of as we called them “The Prep Kids”. Mid grade 9, I dyed my hair black and wore too much eyeliner. Got piercings all over my face, but was so outgoing in my little group of outcast friends that I absolutely adored. I was like this for much of high school.

Moving onto College, I had bleached the black hair back to a medium brown, and let it grow out. I won an art scholarship in high school, and chose to go to school to become a Graphic Designer. It was then that I met my first serious boyfriend, which is so stereotypical, I know. At this point my little group of friends had been split into two friends, one Korean girl in my class, and an old friend from high school. College had been a great experience for me. I lived on my own, got engaged to my first love, and almost graduated.

The man who I thought was the love of my life, had just been a fake prince in tin foil, and had cheated on me. That was the beginning of my bad luck and when I realized my world was crashing, and fast. My best friend Mia (the Korean girl I had previously mentioned) broke my heart and got a new best friend, and with me being the jealous type, could not deal with it.

Through my second year of college, I was a makeup artist at a local drugstore back home. I would often go back home on weekends to work and come back to school during the week. I worked my butt off throughout college, and have always been a hard worker with everything I did. In January of that year, I met the love of my life. With me working weekends at my job, I had never noticed who I worked with. One friday night, I was putting the sale tags up, just like I did every other Friday night, and I saw him. He worked as a merchandiser, and I was instantly head over heels for him. Me being the awkward young adult I was, I walked past the isle he was in and made eye contact with him and wanted so desperately to say hello, but all I could manage to get out was a “Merp”. He was medium height, about 5”7, muscular with a goatee, and with as my generation called it “Justin Bieber hair”. Before all this happened, he told me multiple times that it was love at first merp.

We dated for a total of just over two years, and I still believe we would have gotten married. Everything with him was perfect. You know those silly couples that fit so perfectly together, never fight, and are the literal definition of the perfect couple? That was him and I. We were a fairytale, and everyone knew it.

In July of that year, the Korean girl and I made up and became an unstoppable force. We were twisted sisters, often referred to as “Christina Yang and Meredith Grey” from Grey’s Anatomy. She was my soul sister, and she was my person.

The next year was a blur to me, everything was so perfect; my perfect boyfriend, my perfect best friend, my perfect full time job. At this point, I was working as a nurse, not at all what I had planned on doing 3 years ago when I started as a Graphic Design student. I had a brand new white Chevrolet Malibu, and had all my debt paid off from school, although I hadn’t graduated. Life was constantly throwing me curve balls, but I loved dealing with them even if they stressed me out. I was motivated and cultivating the life I loved to live.

Chapter 2:

As we all know, everything comes to an end. What goes up must come down. Why do all good things come to an end?

It started with my mom. She had never found her perfect person and always complained about being lonely, but I had never known how serious it was. One day, looking through an old cupboard that never had anything useful in it, I found a prescription for Prozac. I wanted to ask her about it but I knew how badly that would upset her since it was hidden in the first place. I waited for her to get home that day, but she never came home.

After a few hours, I had called the police. They were sending out a search party for her, and with her job being 45 minutes from home they had a lot of ground to cover.

Looking for comfort, I called Dan. His phone went instantly to voicemail, and I was already so frightened. I told the cops that I was going to check on my boyfriend to see if he had heard from her, and to stay there. I jumped in my car shaking, and drove as fast as I could to his house. I proceeded to call on my way there but still straight to voicemail.

I pulled up in front of his townhouse a few minutes later and noticed a car I had never seen before. Not thinking too much about it, I walked to his house and all the lights were off. Is he just not home from work yet? It was already 7pm, he should be home. I had a key to his house so I just walked in to check. All the lights were off still, but his bedroom light was on, which was barely visible from the front door. I called his name a few times, but no answer. I was still shaking.

As I approached his bedroom, I heard a woman's voice. Now I was shaking even harder. I peeked into his room and they were sitting on his bed talking about sports. I had no idea what to think and I was panicking with everything going on. By this point I was crying uncontrollably and all I kept thinking was that he was cheating; he is just like every other boy. I walked to his door and was shocked to see me. The girl was shocked as well. I froze staring at them both on his bed, shaking and crying. He was starting to walk towards me, and I was paralyzed. He touched my arm and was talking to me, but I couldn’t hear him. My vision got blurry. I wanted to vomit. She was still staring at me. He was shaking me to get me to snap out of it but all I could get out was “cheater”. I turned around in a daze and walked towards the front door, my heart was breaking inside of me. He was chasing after me but I still couldn’t hear him. I was like a zombie. I slammed his front door and ran to the car. I raced off, my tires screeching against the pavement. I called Mia, trying to get some advice on what the heck was happening in my life. My perfect life had been interrupted by a hiccup, and I didn’t know if what I just saw was what I thought it was, or just something I was misunderstanding. I didn’t care. I need to talk to Mia.

My heart finally snapped into pieces when she didn’t answer her phone. She was always eating, sleeping or in school, so it wasn’t a surprise when she didn’t answer. The comfort never came.

I got to the light around the corner from my house, which happened to be a busy highway. The light was red, and I was finally coming to my senses and able to focus. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw Dan’s car quickly approaching mine. The light turned green and I hit the gas pedal as hard as I could to get away from him. He was the last person I wanted to see at that moment. And then it hit me, literally.

Chapter 3:

What happened next, is something I don’t recall. It went blurry from there. All the anger, the sadness, the shaking, it all stopped suddenly. The next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital bed. As I came back to my conscious self, I wasn’t in pain anymore. I felt nothing.

I noticed an IV in my arm, giving me fluid as to keep me hydrated.

I looked around and everything was starting to come into focus. It was the perfect snowfall outside; slow and beautiful, my favourite weather.

I stared mesmerized for a few minutes waiting for everything else to start making sense. What happened? What about Dan and my mom? I had nothing. I hit the emergency button to call a nurse into my room. She scurried in with another patient's chart in her hands. She was short, with long brown hair tucked into a bun on top of her head. The expression on her face made it seem like I was never suppose to wake up. She seemed thrilled. How long had I been gone for? There was no indication in my room to help me figure it out, other than a small ordinary clock on my wall telling me it was 3 o’clock in the morning.

“Where is my mom?” I asked still groggy from the meds. The nurse looked at me with comfort, and informed me that she was just in the hallway with Dan.

Right… Dan. I remembered that night. I lost a piece of my heart that night. Even recalling the events of that night, I did not experience any feeling. Still no heartbreak, no anger, no jealousy. I thought it must be the meds.

My mom walked in with Dan trailing behind her, and I had never seen them both look so relaxed. They routinely asked me how I was feeling, and if I remembered anything. Thinking about it, I only remember looking in my rearview mirror and seeing Dan chasing me. “That's all I remember.” Mom and Dan exchanged looks. It seemed like they already knew what was going to be said next without even saying anything. Had they bonded that much while all of this was going on?

“It doesn’t matter what happened honey, what matters is you are safe now.”

What bothered me was not that they were bonding so well, it was the fact she said now. What did she mean now and why isn’t anyone telling me what happened?

“No seriously guys, what happened to me? Why am I here?”

Dan spoke up now, looking so heartfelt. He never looks at me like that, let alone is ever really serious with me.

“You’ve been through a lot babe, it’s best if we just let you rest now that you are awake.”

I couldn’t argue with him, this whole thing has raised the hair on my arms; this was not like either of them at all. They walked out of my room and left me to rest.

Chapter 4:

They discharged me as soon as all my vitals were stable and everything was healed. With minor bruising and some scratches, the only lead I had gotten was from my doctor, “You’re lucky to be alive.” Something really bad must have happened.

Dan had volunteered to take me home, and with my mom working that day she happily accepted. I assumed it was because he wanted to talk about what happened that night everything crashed. We got to his car and I crawled in, and as we were driving I noticed that for once in my small town, everyone was driving the way they were suppose to be. Even Dan, who is a reckless driver was going exactly the speed limit, almost as if he were retaking his driver's test. He asked me if I was hungry and if I wanted to go out to eat something other than hospital food, but I really didn’t remember eating at all in the hospital.

We went to a small sports bar for lunch, where I had ordered an omelette and he ordered a burger with fries. I sat quietly waiting for the food to come and wasn’t looking at him after what he had done. I was thankful for him taking me home and being here for me after what happened, but it still didn’t make up for what happened.

“Alicia… We need to talk. I can only imagine how you feel right now, you have no idea what happened. I know you need to know, because that's how you are, but your mom thinks it's best if we just move forward.”

Seriously? That’s what he wanted to talk about? Typical him avoiding the mistake he made. “Is that all you want to talk about? Don’t you think I deserve to know? What if I have permanent brain damage or I have arthritis pain for the rest of my life and I will never know why. Kind of selfish don’t you think?”

“I can’t go against what your mom says, she is your mom.”

“If I was in your shoes, I would tell you what happened, I have respect for you”.

He wasn’t raising his voice. Whenever we fought, he would always raise his voice even simply an octave in defense.

“Fine, you want to know what happened? I’ll tell you but you can’t act like you always know everything in front of your mother if I tell you.”

I said quiet and waited for him to tell me.

“Alicia, how much do you remember from that night?”

I had to sit and think for a moment to make sure I had all my facts straight and in correct order.

“I remember waiting for mom to get home to ask her something about her medication. Then she never came home so I called the cops and had a search party sent out. I called you and your phone went right to voicemail and in the heat of my panic, I drove to your house to make sure you were safe. I showed up, let myself in your house, and you had some girl on your bed. I ran out, got in my car and saw you in my rear view at the light and then I panicked and went through the light. That's all I remember.”

He looked down from me as the food came to the table. He looked like he was in pain, which wouldn’t make any sense to me. This is all his fault.

“So what you are saying is this is all my fault? You didn’t think I already knew that? I have been so heartbroken this whole time, because I knew you got the wrong idea.”

What on earth did he mean the wrong idea? I was enraged at this point but I sat there quietly waiting while he played with his fixings on his burger.

“You were hit by a transport truck, which was going 80 kilometers per hour Alicia. That’s what the doctor meant when he said you are lucky to be alive. I overheard the doctors talking to your mom, and apparently you are a the biggest miracle they have ever seen, or maybe ever to happen.”

I instantly lost my appetite. I had a million questions racing through my head, none of which he could possibly answer.

“Alright well, even though my head is so full of questions and information, you said I had gotten the wrong idea about you and that girl that night. Explain please, because at this point, I already feel uneasy sitting with you right now.”

“That was my cousin Hannah. We have always been super close, and you have nothing to worry about.”

Like I haven’t heard that excuse before. How stupid does he think I am?

“How come I’ve never met this cousin, let alone heard about her? She’s never been at any of your Christmas’s, or any holiday get togethers for that matter.” Caught him.

“She doesn’t live here. My aunt moved them to Ireland a few years ago, and this was her first trip home since then, and she isn’t into me, or even men for that matter.”

It makes sense, but it isn’t making me feel any better. If they were so close, how have I never heard about her before? She was gorgeous, which is what made me so uneasy seeing her there that night.

“Look Alicia. I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but I would never hurt you. You were my first girlfriend, and the last two years I spend with you were the best two years of my life. My family loves you, and I love you even more. You are a miracle.”

I didn’t know what to say back. I was so overwhelmed with information, and I still felt no relief.

He finished his burger and drove me back home. I took my plate to go since I wasn’t hungry. We pull up in front of my house and as I went to get out, he grabbed my arm.

“I love you Alicia. I hope you know that.”

I nodded my head, and froze. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a little purple box. What is happening.

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Over the last month, I have had so many thoughts go through my head, and I never knew if I would even get you back. I want you to marry me.”

This is not right. Dan never wanted to get married. Every time we talked about the future he would close himself off and not speak. Either something really happened to him to change him, or I am dreaming that I’m alive. The ring was beautiful, square with one big diamond and small diamonds around the band. I stared in awe and looked back at him and back to the ring.

“Am I dreaming? What happened to you Dan?”

“Let’s say I smartened up!” He laughed and I didn’t find any of this funny.

“I love you, but am I able to get back to you on that? I need to figure some things out before I agree…” I carefully took the ring, and got out of the car.

I went right up to my room, and sat in my bed. I opened the box and sat it on the other side of the bed and just stared at it, for what seemed like hours. It was beautiful and fit perfectly.

Part two out soon