#every time he makes a sound tilly either yells or runs into another room

[thatsreallygay]

ANNOUNCEMENT: THE PUPPY IS HERE

[choiwrites]

kth | the day after valentine’s (m.)

Words: 4.5k Synopsis: Taehyung, your best friend, had asked you to come over to help him arrange his furniture after moving for the hundredth time. It’s the day after Valentine’s and all the getting laid stuff is over, right? Not for Taehyung. Also, who the hell buys condoms after Valentine’s day? Rating: 18+ Author’s Note: This is a messy drabble that I have no intention cleaning or editing. I wrote this at liek 2am so a lot of typo’s ahead y’all.

When you agreed to come over Taehyung's apartment, you thought he needed help with arranging the stuff that came from his moving van today. But no, your best friend's not the most truthful person you know.

He spreads across his dirty old couch, one he'd kept from his college dorm, wearing nothing but his basketball shorts that holds tight against his waist. Seven years since meeting him, he's done nothing to change his lifestyle. Every month, it's the same old scenario of him moving to another place after getting evicted for God knows how many times, and you watching him play a mobile game while you beg him to please start unpacking before a landlord sends him on his ass again.

"Let me finish this level, I'm so close." He looks for a second to study your reaction, annoyance painted clearly on your face.

You shrug, and your eyes dart over the cigarette pack that almost hides in one of his Goodwill boxes.

"I though you quit?"

Confused, Taehyung follows your eyes and he regrets in an instant bringing you here.

"I haven't had one in two months. I'm stressed lately."

Sighing, you try to understand. Taehyung's been on and off with cigars, he'd buy one in secret but sooner or later, you'd always find a lighter in his laundry when coming over. You advice him to keep his hand busy, and you'd even given him a bracelet that chimes. He removed it three months later and you never asked where he threw it away.

"Fuck," his finger swipes his screen as if he wanted to break it, "I almost got it!" he yelled.

He switches off his phone, now staring back at you. Your eyes fall, he's always intimidating. You couldn't blame him, you were always intimidated.

"What?" you croaked.

"What do you mean what? What's your plan?"

"My plan? Why do I have to make the plans?" Your fingers find the hem of your thin baby blue shirt.

"Because you're the smarter one. How do I arrange all my shit? You got any idea?"

"Taehyung, we've been doing this for ages. How come you still depend on me? There will come a day that I won't be here anymore and the only person you could depend on is yourself." Was it seeing the cigarettes that raised your voice, or remembering that he threw your handmade bracelet? You couldn't care less.

He was quiet. Then he opens his mouth, and he's quiet again.

"You sound like my mom," he says, meaning to tease you as if he hadn't used that for the hundredth time. "Was your date last night that bad? I told you you should come with Hoseok and I on Valentine's, we had an amazing night at Jungkook's crib."

There he goes again, ignorant of your troubles. Classic selfish Tae, the exact same one who stood you up on homecoming because he spent it having sex with Tilly Janes in his car. You're still upset about it, he didn't even think of going inside to give you at least a minute to dance with somebody on the dance floor.

"Mind telling me what happened? Did you get laid?"

"Do you ever think of maybe you shouldn't ask such inappropriate questions to someone?"

"Fine," almost tired in his tone.

And you spend a few more minutes in silence, guessing each other's thoughts with the way both your gaze lands on the floor. He clears his throat and forgets what he's about to say. You wish you didn't cancel your nail appointment today just to be with your best friend who still, in no surprise, doesn't have a single plan in his life.

Taehyung suggests he buys a stock from the grocery first, and when he says stock he means an awful lot of Oreo cookies and Lays. You agreed with him and he gets dressed, though the soles of your feet still hurt from walking in heels for three hours straight last night. If only you knew that Hyungwon would be bringing you to a walking spree, you wouldn't have worn a formal attire.

Taehyung spends his time choosing between peanut butter and double stuff. You tell him to pick the peanut butter one because you've never seen him finish the double stuff, he always throws the leftovers saying it was too sweet. He ignores your opinion and chooses the double stuff over the peanut butter.

He asks you again whether he should buy milk or pineapple juice instead, and you tell him to pick milk because whoever drinks pineapple is a monster. He nods in affirmation, commenting about how pineapple has a really weird aftertaste. And he brings the milk back to the shelf, putting the pineapple juice in the cart.

"You should dress like that." He points at a mannequin dressed in sportswear.

"You don't tell me what to wear, young man. I don't even jog."

"I'm just saying you'd look hotter." He scans you head to toe and your knees weaken a little.

He takes a route to the meat section, you already know why. He just wants to brag about being a vegan. Jungkook had convinced him last month to finally turn vegan, and he's been talking about it non-stop.

"I can't stand the smell of meat anymore, it's disgusting." He pinches his nose, wrinkles forming on his face.

"Okay, Mr. Vegan. We get it." You rolled your eyes.

"No, really. It's making me vomit," he says, nasally.

"Just make sure that once I cook chicken alfredo, your mouth wouldn't water."

Upon reaching the counter, Taehyung approaches the magazines and candy bars, leaving you in line.

What does he need this time?

And when you're up next in line, he comes back with a tight fist, hiding an item as he crosses his arms.

He thought he was sleek, but when he throws the condoms next to the Oreos, you couldn't help but laugh.

"You're buying condoms after Valentine's Day?" You throw your hand to your mouth, suppressing an uncontrollable laughter. "Did you run out last night or you're only getting laid today?" you added.

"Do you ever think of maybe you shouldn't ask such inappropriate questions to someone?"

You sighed. "But seriously, I know you wanna answer that question."

In the mood, you poke at his waist and he flinches like a worm. Taehyung was cocky, but he can be cute sometimes in ways he doesn't intend to.

"I ran out last night. Lucky you who don't need to buy another one since none of your dates ever pass your standards."

You couldn't point it out in what he said that made your heart throb, it felt a little offensive. Taehyung knows so much about you, it can get scary when he opens his mouth. What's he thinking right now? Cute little y/n, no one's ever good enough for her fragile heart. Cute little y/n, always finds a mistake in every part.

"That's not true, you know? I just don't settle that easily."

The corners of his lips lift, eyes rolling in disbelief. He was skinning you alive with that gaze, annoyed. He has a sarcastic smile sprawled all over his face, you just wanna punch it away.

On the way home, you thought about what he said for a second... For a while. You thought about it for a while. Was Taehyung right? Was his perception of you correct? Whatever it was, it did hurt. All you ever did for Taehyung was to be a good friend, and he gave nothing in return. You weren't expecting anything, but deep inside you knew Taehyung loves you just as much as you love him. But like every other person, insecurity gets in the way in relationships.

Maybe Taehyung doesn't even treat you as a friend.

No, you argued inside your head.

Sure, you've seen him in his most vulnerable moments. You've seen him break and you've seen him fall, you've seen him lose the inner parts of his soul. You've seen Taehyung happy, and you will always remember that specific laugh he lets out whenever he pretends something is funny. You know that he blinks when he curses because his body rejects it. He told you about his broken dream of becoming an astrologist, and you daydreamed together about the stars and the way they collide like magical dusts.

Maybe Taehyung doesn't know you like you know him.

Before the thought gets answered, Taehyung was already groaning as he puts the bags down to his counter. You had forgotten you arrived.

"We should start with your room. I'll place your clothes in your closet and you go arrange your miscellaneous."

He doesn't nod. Why won't he nod?  God, please, Taehyung, just agree with me once.

He remains standing with both his hands on either sides of his waist and he does nothing else. Still standing feet away from you, just knitted brows and a stern expression that you couldn't read. What is it this time?

"How was it?" His arms cross on the buff his chest, waiting for a response as he tries to read your reaction the same way you're reading where he's coming from.

"How was what?"

"The sex, y/n. Was it so bad you're in a bad mood today?" A laugh pauses in his throat, replaced by a rise of the corner of his lips.

It was a tug, or maybe a push, in your stomach that made your minds do wonders of spins. Such an unpredictable person Taehyung is.

There was nothing to deliberate inside your mind, nothing happened last night. Hyungwon went home without a kiss on his lips, and you're limbs gave out due to the amount of walking.

"There's no sex. We didn't have sex."

"Let me guess, he insulted your outfit? If not, he probably split the check." His index finger extends, eyes wrinkling to get out any more ideas from his dirty little head.

"Can you just- Ugh! What's with you and your insults?"

"How was that an insult? I was guessing which of what he did didn't pass your golden standard."

"If I had a better standard, maybe you wouldn't be my friend." Ouch. It wasn't directed to you but sometimes you just want to dissolve after saying something.

"I'm your friend because you have a high standard." He wasn't offended, not a single bit from what you have said. Was Taehyung that oblivious of how miserable he is? "If we weren't friends, I'm pretty sure I could get inside your pants."

You hoped he regret what he said, just as much as you wanted to dissipate earlier.

"I'm sorry, Taehyung. But my 'golden standard' would never, and I can't stress this enough, let you get in my pants, in an alternate universe where we aren't friends."

"Lies. Lies. Lies. I could easily get you swooning for me in just a matter of seconds, y/n. Stop, and I can't stress this enough, lying."

"Sure, Taehyung. Whatever you want me to fucking say." You turned your back on him to get a grip of yourself. You grunt, you shudder, and you sighed.

Cocky. Bastard. You could join those words together and it would still perfectly describe Taehyung. Perhaps you have a list of two words that could go either independently or together they'd still describe Taehyung well.

Arrogant. Pervert. Overconfident. Asshole. Striking. Idiot. Son. Of. A. Bitch. I. Just. Want. To. Punch. Him.

He places a grip on your arm to spin you to him. "I want you to say it," with a guttural voice coming from the pits of somewhere within his diaphragm, it's crazy how smooth it escaped from his lips.

"Saywhat?" as opposed to yours that escaped with so much tremble and crisp, thinner than air.

"Consent," he began. "I'm pretty sure I can reach your standard."

It was probably a bad idea. And a bad idea is followed by a spontaneous drive to try it, that's how it's done in movies. You'd probably regret it, right? But you'd regret it more if you don't get a chance to prove Taehyung wrong.

Fine. He needs a wake up call. He needs to wake up from that delusion he'd built inside his towering cocky arrogant head, no pun intended, that he's not every girl's cup of tea.

"You know what? Sure. What do you want me to do? Ride you? Then give you a blowjob after not finding the clit-"

He pulls you, hand reaching your lower back to push his groin toward your front. You were far behind than he was, Taehyung was already hard and eager. His lips were hot, warm around the tip of your tongue that vividly tastes the mint and smoke he had had earlier this morning. It was evident in the sloppiness of his kiss, swiftness of his wandering hands, and blazing fire underneath the lust of his eyes, Taehyung isn't exactly as what you have thought him to be.

The men you've slept with before, they were a floating fish in the sea. But Taehyung brings you sea deep into the weakness of your knees, the floor may have shaken 'cause you find yourself falling on his body and he catches you just perfectly, bodies molding with each other on the floor. Taehyung grips your thigh, to the north his hand traveled, his thumb harshly caressing your slit.

The position made it hard for him to move, he was struggling to reach every part of your body as he would have wanted so he pushed your body, and you look him in the eyes with question, both hands resting on his chest as he continues to play with your clit. He earns a sly grunt from you and he'd do anything to hear it again.

Then he was standing, carrying your body to the nearest stool he could find, desperate and quick. With one sharp thrust to lock you in position, he inhales the moan that went from your lips to his throat. Then he stops. He stopped.

"Moaning already, are we?" He lifts his brow, a crease forming on his forehead.

"Can you just get to it?"

He laughs. "That's not exactly how I always do it. I like to take my time."

You punch his shoulder, a questioning look taking over his features. Embarrassment flows through you. "This was a mistake."

He kisses you again, eating whatever insult was about to come out of your mouth. He wants to whisper it, that thing he have always wanted to tell you, in between kisses. Because now that he's got you under his touch, his tongue is burning just to say it. To distract himself, he digs into your waist deeper, sinking those three little words under your skin hoping you'd realize it.

You pull away, pushing him away from you. "Something wrong?" His nails have left their mark before you could figure out.

"No, no. Nothing's wrong."

There is though. You're not a stranger to not know the look on Taehyung's face. You recognize this one, it happened before. The trembling lips and crimson cheeks. They bring you back the day after prom, the day after Tilly Janes took his innocence.

"What happened last night?" you asked him, arms crossed against your chest.

"I'm so sorry I didn't come-"

"You came Tae. You came hard, didn't you? I can't believe you convinced me to go to prom just so you can leave me in there alone."

"I didn't want to. Listen, okay, I realized something last night."

"I don't need your apology, Taehyung. I don't need it. Jimin took me home last night."

"What? Why?"

"Why? Because some asshole left me without a ride. That's why!"

"I was looking for you last-"

"Shut it. He asked me on a date. So thank God, I'm at least in a good mood today to not flame on you."

"He asked you on a date? Are you going?"

Trembling lips and crimson cheeks. He gulped so hard you heard it.

"I am. Hey, are you okay?"

"I just can't believe someone would even ask you out. I'll be going, forget I came."

It's the same face, the same gulp. You put your hand on his cheek, like what a mom would do to an injured child, and he holds it so you won't ever let go of his face.

"We can stop. I know. This was a bad idea. We shouldn't have done it."

He shakes his head, his other hand creeping behind you. He latches his lips onto yours again, pulling your shirt up to reveal your stomach. The kiss was different, a touch of hunger for affection. A slow open one, mostly the breaths clashing in a soft whisper.

"I want you, y/n. I want you," he whispered to your mouth. You push him to the couch, straddling him and he groans in satisfaction. He pulls you closer, enough for his chin to land on your chest and he looks up in pure admiration of you.

There was more behind the words he said, but with the heat pooling in between your thighs, you couldn't care less as of now. It's something you'll resolve after. He tucks a strand of your hair as he makes thrusts underneath you, the thick cotton of his sweats didn't do anything to conceal his cock aching for you.

You remove his shirt, not being able to take your eyes away from his body. Sweet and honey under your gaze, he tenses them and you couldn't help but laugh at this. Kissing every inch of his exposed skin, you kneel as your knees approach the floor, not breaking eye contact with Taehyung while untying his sweats. His hand fails to fall steady on your arm and his Adam's apple bob in anticipation.

There's warmth that spreads across your stomach, different from the one in between you thighs. It's like electricity that continuously ignites a fire inside you when you notice his excitement, eager to have your mouth around him. A sign of reciprocation that he wants this just as much as you do no matter how hard you try to deny it, a catching fire of the thought that maybe he looks at you the way you look at him throughout all these years. Even now that you're not looking in his eyes, the continuous ignition of sparks inside you still teases.

You reach for his length, softly wrapping it in your hand and his breath quickens along with your heartbeat. Studying every detail, even the cold tones of the veins that spreads like tree roots. In usual occasions, giving head never takes your time. You suck it and finish it, no more and no less, nothing special really. But it's Taehyung, and his difference from others makes you uncomfortable in a way it shouldn't be possible. Trying to forget these unnecessary emotions, your thumb circles the head of his cock and he couldn't help but make his lip bleed, the agony of it keeping him awake to not fall into your dreamy touch.

His shorts reaches the floor and you made it quick to to kiss the base of his glistening length. Your index finger making lines on his thigh while the other keeps his cock steady as your lips move upward. You've never imagined how he would taste, but you were always sure he tastes exactly like he tastes now. Bittersweet. He throbs at the heat of your breath, thighs almost jumping when your fingers find his balls. He emits a groan that strengthens the force you're putting in your thighs to keep your core intact.

Down you go, the head of his cock deepening in your throat just like his grunts, getting lower and lower until he thrusts upwards making you gag and he releases a high-pitched whimper of your name. Tears blur your vision and a moan sends minimal vibration to his cock.

"I don't think... y/n, fuck, I'm not gonna last long," he confessed, and you finally look up to see him without removing him from your mouth.

You tongue swirling still and he has gone rabid trying to control himself, clenching your hair as he lets himself go maniac against your throat. He stares at you with mad eyes, his mouth failing in keeping him quiet. Only his groans, his throat-fucking, and your whimpers that you can no longer suppress. You're a little scared maybe he'll get too confident and tease you on your gagging, calling himself so big he made you cry.

He pulls your hair and he tries to get a hold of himself, catching his breath to gain stability. Before you can wipe the corners of your lips, he was standing up and taking your shirt off. He frames his chin with his index finger and his thumb, making you grow conscious of your own body. He had no reason to be looking so long, he'd seen you in a two piece more than one occasion. And he's going behind you, putting a finger at the waist of your shorts, bringing it down slowly until it lands by itself. He wraps your hair in a pony as the other grips your ass, a throaty growl escaping from his body.

He rotates you to the other side, an empty blank wall where you can see the fool you made of yourself. The argument ends here. The argument has ended since he had kissed you like no one had kissed you. You shouldn't have underestimated Taehyung, because he's now biting your shoulder as he slowly descends you to the wall. He hums, this close he can hear the tiny whimpers you try to keep to yourself, your fragile voice that can break once you open your mouth to say something. He can hear them all and he's aware of the power he has over you.

A hand holds both of yours behind your back, and once he has successfully taken your white underwear off, he's positioning the fat head of his cock right in your entrance.

"Make it easier for the both of us and just say it, y/n," he commands, his breath echoing in your ear sending voltage in your spine. He bites your ear and he whispers again, "Baby, please."

"What?"

Taehyung laughs at your adorable cluelessness. He doesn't answer. The next thing you hear was the expansion of his breaths, getting heavier and heavier it's almost a hum as he slides himself inside you.

"Taehyung," you say in a falsetto, "god, Tae, fuck!"

"Hmm, fucking tight. You're so fucking tight, y/n. Your pussy's taking my cock so fucking well," his knees bend to enter you deeply, this sharp thrust hitting a spot in you you never knew you'd feel, "maybe now you'd let me fuck you often, huh? You're gonna take my cock anytime you want, I'll fuck your brains out, ruin you and your cunt."

You respond with a soft murmur of you're not entirely sure what, because Taehyung was already fucking your brains out and you had no other thoughts but the feeling of his cock that slips in out of you so easily. He'd hit that one spot and you're going to release yet another cry and he'd enjoy every note of it. You're a mess with strands of your hair sticking to your face as the sweat trickle down your temples.

"Tell me what you want, y/n. Want it fast, baby?" He speeds up his thrusts, your ah's getting louder as he almost sends you to your high. "Or you want to cherish every inch of my cock?" He slows down which brings you wailing, whimpering his name over and over until you're no longer sure if it's even coming out right. His free hand lands on your ass and you gasp as if inhaling after suffocation. "Answer me," he speeds up his pace again, "answer me, y/n."

But you couldn't, there's nothing in your body that you trust right now especially your voice. He growls, unsatisfied with your silence which leads him to pulling your hair and pushing your back to the wall. You're almost embarrassed to see his eyes once more in the state you're in, overpowered by the despair of wanting nothing but to have Taehyung take you to your climax. Your eyes are begging for him, hell there were tears coming from them as he enters you again.

He cries out, "I want to fuck you all day long, would you let me do that?" He continues to carry you upward the wall and your weight would go down whenever he pulls himself from you. You nod and as he sees this, his head moves back to watch your body crumble before him, giving him no more than satisfaction. "Look at you desperate for my cock, such a fucking whore for me, aren't ya?"

In every "hm" he makes, he enters you harder and rougher, makes you want to stay silent. You bite your lip, feeling yourself come to a close. Your thighs pulling together like magnets, wrapping his waist while it shakes and he doesn't take one second to land your body on the couch, watching your orgasm hit you with spasms traveling your whole body. Taehyung wraps his cock in his hand, moving toward your mouth as he jerks himself off to his own orgasm. You take the spurts of his fluid landing on your tongue, his waist twitching while he groans for each drop of cum.

He sighs, falling onto the couch where your legs are still apart. He smiles at your nakedness, not giving a second thought as his middle finger enters you once more. Your body  sits straight, only to land on the sofa's arm. "You're so fucking pretty," he commented, his body hovering over yours again. He kisses you.

"I can't handle," you say before Taehyung cuts you off with another kiss, and another, and another, his finger in and out of you which as the minute grows only turns from pain into pleasure again.

"You're going to," he whispers and he kisses you again, until you're crying his name and he just studies the way you react to his slender finger. "So pretty, so, so," he curves his finger resulting to your second orgasm, "pretty." He makes sure you see his savoring your juices in his mouth, and once he was done lapping up his finger he puts them inside your lips, tasting nothing but his saliva.

"Do you get it now, y/n?" He unclasps your bra, and from then on he ignores your eyes. "This is why I run out of condoms."

[journal-of-an-outlaw]

Price to be Paid - Chapter 26

AO3 link here

When you arrived back at camp everyone seemed to be buzzing. A new energy flowed through the air, connecting all of you together in a fabricated sort of high. The mayor’s party had gone exceptionally well, at least three new leads for big jobs had been found and Dutch sat in the gazebo hunched over his table stewing over which to pursue first. The gang needed money, and a lot of it, if they were to leave this life of living on the run. You weren’t quite sure where you fit into that plan but hoped it would all be clear soon. 

Arthur swung down off of Zeus and was immediately called over by Hosea and Dutch. He cast a smile and rolled his eyes before heading off to see what those two needed from him now. 

You approached Abigail who was in the middle of trying to get Jack to eat. 

“Well, how did things go?”

You told her all about your trip into Saint Denis and how the party went. The beautiful backdrop the twinkling lights provided and how Dutch’s plan seemed to have gone well, the multiple plans he had thought of and ways to get money. It really was a success, and you hinted at how your night after had been just as successful, too. 

Abigail blushed but slapped your arm playfull. “You sly thing! Maybe soon you’ll have a little one on the way.” 

The thought made you falter. The last time you and Arthur spoke about having children he had made it painfully clear his own insecurities were holding him back even if you saw the paternal potential that was inside of him. As you mulled over the idea you brought your hand to your stomach and imagined what it would be like to grow human life inside of you. 

“Well, either way I have to drop these clothes off before Grimshaw rips my head off. Haven’t done a chore in a few days and I know she can smell that…” you smiled and headed towards Shady Belle. Sadie sat whittling away at something on the front porch and she tipped her hat as you walked into the house. 

From downstairs Arthur and Dutch’s voices floated in as they talked about their plan to rob the trolley station in the city. They moved upstairs and into Dutch’s room, out of earshot where you folded your clothes and set aside others to be washed. 

You hummed a song to yourself and admired the way the light shone on your reflection when a shrill scream pierced the afternoon. You froze, the sound making your blood run cold. Loud sobs rang out from the front of the house as your heard Mary Beth wail. 

“It’s Kieran!”

“What the hell have they done to him?” Arthur yelled. 

At the same time Dutch called out, “Everybody take cover!” and gunshots rang out as Shady Belle was attacked. 

Shit, shit, shit, shit. Your hands fumbled at the ammunition on the shelves of your room. You knew you had to get out there and help but somehow the erratic pace of your breathing made it difficult to focus. Thundering steps ran by outside the door and you know it was Arthur. 

Arthur. Your anchor was running into danger. You needed to get it together. 

With that grounding thought in your head you barged out and followed the sound of gunfire. Karen nearly ran you over, a rifle in her hands, as she hurried to get outside. She grabbed a box of bullets and gave you a hard look as she steeled herself to go and defend the camp. 

“It’s the O’Driscoll boys!”

You weren’t sure who said it, but a series of memories flashed through your mind at the thought of your last encounter with that particular group. Flames, your hands hanging from bloody ropes, the blazing pain as Colm shot a bullet into your thigh. It was suddenly too much and you dropped the ammunition you had brought down around you, falling slowly to the floor on your hands and knees. 

It was like Colm was standing there again with his hand around your neck, threatening to end your life right then and there. 

In the distance you could hear the panicked sounds coming from the horses and in the back of your mind you hoped Eclipse had gotten away. The front door was shoved open and Jack came flying in after John shoved him. He looked terrified with tears running down his cheeks, and you snapped back to yourself. “Jack! C’mon, let’s go we’ll be safe.”

Jack put up a protest for a moment but let you scoop him up and run back upstairs to the safety of your room. Sitting on the bed Jack crawled into your lap and shook with the fear of what he had just seen. The door to your room burst open and you clutched Jack tightly until you saw Tilly and Molly scurry in. 

“Where are the others?”

“Shooting. Dutch sent the women and children in, everyone else is holding their ground.”

As if on cue Grimshaw and Mary Beth came in breathing heavy from running. Karen opened it a few minutes later with a gun in her hand. “C’mon, I need help boarding up the windows and doors. Who’s with me?” Tilly and Grimshaw followed quickly as Abigail rushed in. 

“Oh, my boy thank you YN! John grabbed him but I was around the corner and didn’t see if he made it. Thank god you’re safe,” she pulled him from your lap and the sudden lack of comfort struck you cold. “It’s a nightmare out there, they seem to be everywhere. The boys and Sadie are holding them down but,” she cuts off as Mary Beth lets out a small sob and does her best to cover her mouth. 

You were still in shock. “What happened?” You looked around at mournful faces. “I was up here, is...is he okay?” 

Nobody spoke. There was a silence broken only by Mary Beth’s quiet sobs from the corner where she had wrapped her arms around herself. 

Molly finally answered you though. “He was sent ahead of the attack. It...he was on horseback, with his head in his lap,” she raised a dainty hand at the thought, but you were confused. It seemed that Arthur may have to explain it later as no one was in shape to relive that moment. 

Kieran was sweet and seemed to be redeeming himself steadily. He had done good work with the horses and Mary Beth was always ready with a smile for him. Dutch had even gone so far as talk about bringing him on a job someday, something Kieran held onto with so much hope. A dream. Something to live for. 

“Everyone, back inside! We need to block off that door, there’s too many of them.” Dutch barked and could be heard throughout the house. 

“Is everyone accounted for?” 

Your heart squeezed at Arthur’s shout. His mind was always with others, even in the face of battle. Someone yelled something back and you could hear glass breaking as Arthur leapt out to the yard to attack. The gunshots were getting louder as the battle moved to the back. Arthur was an excellent shot, the best you had ever seen. His skills had been honed by years and years of knowing his aim meant life or death, so you closed your eyes and prayed to whoever might be listening to give him safe passage to protect the others. 

A thought crossed your mind after Mary Beth asked something about the O’Driscolls and how they had found the camp. Those few months ago you were held captive because of a deal your father made. Had he somehow tracked you down again? Paid Cold and his gang to come collect you in exchange for going free from the law? You wouldn’t put it past your father but the thought of everyone being in danger because of you rattled your heart more than you cared to admit. 

It seemed to go on for ages. Those in the room flinched every time a yell went out in fear that it was someone they knew. But Tilly would look out the window and confirm that Charles had run by just fine, and made a noise of surprise as Sadie Adler knifed a man just to turn around and shoot another. She sounded impressed, like she respected the woman for finally coming back to life. Eventually Hosea opened the door and told you all to come outside, it was safe again. 

You walked slowly behind the others. Hosea wrapped an arm around Mary Beth’s shoulders as she continued to cry, and Abigail clung tightly to Jack. It was good to see your community strong and holding together, even if you may have been the cause. 

“Arthur,” you breathed as soon as the front doors opened. You ran to him and wrapped your arms around his neck, feeling the gun from his hands hit the ground next to you as he did the same. The two of you stood silently for a moment, letting the reality settle in that you were both still alive and breathing. 

“You okay?”

You nodded. “I-I feel like a fool. I froze when I heard it was O’Driscolls, just got caught up in what happened all that time ago when I got holed up with them. I swear I felt Colm in the room with me, his hands on my neck again.”

His features softened. “Ain’t nothing to be ashamed about. You survived something terrible, you’re allowed a little time to let that wound heal.” 

You squeezed his arm and let him go over to join Charles, Dutch, Hosea, and John who were planning their next move. Reverend Swanson and Hosea removed Kieran’s body and head and the image of what happened made your stomach roll. Molly’s words rang in your ears as they moved out of sight. 

“Colm O’Driscoll...that man can really hate.” 

Dutch looked out across the fields thinking. “So can I, Arthur. So can I. We need to get moving. Away from here.” 

“Another camp?”

“You ain’t thinking big enough, Arthur.” Dutch laughed darkly as he formulated a plan. “You ain’t seeing the vastness of our problems and our opportunities. It will make sense in time. I’ll be back soon, then we’re robbing that trolley station!” Dutch clapped his hands together and took off to find the Count before leaving for who knew where. You saw the last puff of dirt fly up as you heaved another dead O’Driscoll up from the ground. It was taxing and grueling work, but everyone was chipping in to make sure the camp was safe and secured. 

Everyone except for Dutch, the little voice in your mind said. 

That evening everyone was quiet as they ate dinner around the campfire. The need for company outweighed the need for conversation and the time passed peacefully to the sound of crackling wood. You sat next to Arthur, as close as you could be without disrespecting the others in camp with being over the top. 

“You gonna eat that or just play with it all night, darlin’?” Arthur had noticed your loss of appetite and poked your side playfully. 

The slop in your bowl was bland, making it harder and harder to choke down. And it somehow reminded you of the carnage you had seen earlier, so when you pushed it away Arthur knew you were finished. 

“I can’t stop thinking about how they found us, they knew exactly how to attack. We were caught off guard even with people on patrols. And Kieran…” You shook your head thinking. “How can we ever forgive ourselves, Arthur? He was, he didn’t deserve that.”

Arthur swung an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest. For a few minutes the two of you sat in silence, simply trying to cope. You had a nagging thought in the back of your mind that the O’Driscoll attack had something to do with you and your father and Colm, and that feeling seemed to blossom the more you dwelled on it. 

“Kieran was...he had a good life with us. We fed him, clothed him, he was free and worked doing what he loved. A man can’t ask for much more than that, and we should remember him for the good things he put into the world, not the terrible way he…” Arthur waved his hand out into the night sky. “You know. All that business.” 

You nodded and pulled your bowl back to push the slop around at least having something to do. Quiet murmurs went around the group but no one really talked, even Sean for once was sitting silently next to Karen, his fingers dragging lazy patterns on her knee. Javier was polishing his set of knives and Charles walked the perimeter. You could almost see his eyes dart every which way from your spot by the fire as he slowly secured the grounds, on high alert since Mary Beth’s scream earlier in the day. The piercing sadness still rang in your ears. 

The sound of an approaching horse had everyone standing instantly. Your hands shook at your sides as terror rose in you like bile at the back of your throat. Were they back? Did they get word from your father to attack again?

But it was only Dutch and the Count, back from their day out in the city. Or wherever Dutch went to be alone.

He swung down and greeted the group from across the grounds of Shady Belle. As he approached you realized you couldn't hold this secret inside of you for much longer. Someone had to know why the O’Driscolls attacked and that it was your fault poor Kieran had been brutally murdered in such a cold way. Your hands shook later that night even as Arthur’s arms held you tight in bed, nothing seemed to be able to calm the storm raging inside of you. 

The secret of your father that you held was too heavy to carry alone, but you were terrified of what the others would say. That it was no coincidence you were found back in Blackwater. That you had planned this all from the start and didn’t really care for anyone. You were terrified to think of Abigail’s face, how she would hide Jack behind her with a shove and point a shaky finger at you begging John to put her out of her misery and kill you. You saw Karen and Sean snarl, positively feral as they ran you out of camp with threats pouring from their lips. You winced at the thought of Hosea’s eyes turning to stone as he left you to the mercy of the swamps, offering you nothing but a nod as you left to fend for yourself. 

One thing you were absolutely certain of was that Arthur could not find out who your father was. In your mind they were two pillars of the same building, each standing for their own values and upholding an idea they were ready to die and collapse for. Arthur would accuse you of never truly loving him and hearing something like that would break your heart. The image of his heartbroken face staring right at you was too much, it was a thought you pushed as far away from your mind as possible. 

Dreams of wild beasts chasing you through flames and from your home plagued you for nearly a week before you woke up Arthur with your screams and sobs. 

“YN! Jesus, you’ll wake the whole house. Come back to me, love, it’s okay.” 

You felt yourself bolt upright, out of control, desperate to escape whatever dream had been after you that night. It must have been early as no light came through the windows. A sob ripped through you again and your whole body wouldn't stop shaking as you were stuck in that in between place between dreaming and being awake. Arthur grabbed your arm and you shook him off before you realized who it was. The tears hung to your eyelashes but you quickly blinked them away, pressing the heel of your hands into your eyes to try and calm your racing heart. 

“Honey you gotta talk to me. What in the world is going on with you?” Arthur’s accent seemed to get stronger when he was worried, using words that normally didn’t make it into his conversations. “This is the third night in a row you’ve been waking up yelling. What can I do to help you?” 

He rubbed small circles into your back as his words washed over your fried nerves. A hiccup escaped you as you finally took the reins back again. 

“I’m scared, Arthur.” 

His hand stopped. “What of, sweetheart?” 

“I’ve never talked about my family much with you, have I?” You played with your fingers, not looking up in the dark. “I never had any siblings, it was always just me. My mother was an angel but never spoke up for herself. I swore I wouldn't be like that when I grew up, and I think that’s why my f-father and I hit heads so often, ending in…”

The phantom bruises on your body started to ache and you clamped your hands together to stop from attending to them. Arthur sat in silence, knowing that you needed to think and speak about what was dragging you into such a dark place. 

“My father is a terrible man. He’s in a terrible line of work and lets the small amount of power he has corrupt him into something I don’t recognize. I’m real scared of my father f-finding us. It’s...he’s a complicated man, and it’s complicated between us but I know that if he ever found me I...I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Darlin’, I know he was a monster who hit you, but you have to believe me that he or anyone else will never touch you again while I’m here. I know I’m just some old, ugly man that you got stuck with but I would do anything to keep you safe. You’re my new home.” 

The sweet words made your heart feel like it was about to burst and you looked up at Arthur for the first time in your conversation. For one small second, the world was right. The man you loved, who you were set to marry, loved you more than you deserved. Your father had made sure you were ruined the moment you left home. No one like you should be loved unconditionally like Arthur was pledging to do. You would only bring pain and destruction to his life. 

“I promise. He will never find you as long as I’m around.” You raised a hand to Arthur’s cheek and drew yourself in for a kiss. Hopefully it conveyed just how much everything he said meant to you. 

The next morning you felt better. Cleaner, fresher, as if that made any sense. You brushed your hair and braided the short locks down your back and out of your eyes, you woke up before Arthur. His sleeping form entranced you and he had been up with you late into the night comforting you during another nightmare so you crept out of the room and downstairs to get a start on helping around Shady Belle. 

A deep breath cleared your mind and you took in the group meandering around the camp. Near Pearson’s table a pot of steaming coffee sat alone, so you poured a cup and let the warmth seep into your bones and relax you. Arthur was right, nothing could get in your way. 

“Morning, princess,” a snide voice broke through your serenity. 

“Micah.” 

“What, no greeting? No good to see you back after slaving around for the gang and making sure we’re safe and sound?” 

“I’m not in the mood. Please, just let me drink my coffee and -”

“Plot something?” 

Your eyebrows drew together in confusion at his words. Micah wore a smirk that said he knew more than you did and it made your hackles stand up, instantly on guard. 

“And what would I be plotting, Micah?”

“Oh,” he walked slowly around you, taunting you. “Nothing I would know about, that’s for sure. Maybe something a little less dramatic this time? Something that won’t put your targets in harm’s way? Better for the end goal now, ain’t it?”

You slammed the coffee down as your patience ran out and anxiety took its place. “What in the hell are you talking about?” 

“I know.” He leaned in to whisper. You had enough and left to find something to do when he called out again. “Seems you’re more than meets the eye, Miss Moore.” You stopped dead in your tracks but refused to turn around. “But, if you insist, I’ll leave you alone. Princess Pinkerton.”

The knife was pressed against his throat before you realized you had even moved. Micah only laughed as you weren’t really a threat, more of an annoyance but you were breathing hard in the morning sun as he batted your hand away.

“What did you say to me?” 

“I told you I knew,” he chuckled. “Seems you got some explaining to do as to why you got a whole detective agency after you, little Miss Pinkerton.” 

He didn’t know. Or at least, not all of it. The fact that your father was the detective in charge of bringing in the Van der Linde gang had escaped him. 

You took a steadying breath. “How did you find out?”

He met your response with a slow smile and pulled out a ripped piece of paper from his pocket. You tried to snatch it from him but he pulled it back, only showing you when you promised not to take it. 

“When we rescued you from dear old Colm there were some papers in that house that were very interesting. Named you personally as someone of interest to the Pinkerton Detective Agency and that you were to be kept alive and unharmed until they could collect you. I knew it was strange that some small town girl just happened to wiggle her way into the gang and then we’re attacked by O’Driscolls in our home.”

“No!” you tried not to shout. “It’s not, not like that Micah. Just...they’re after me, too. I promise I would never put anyone here in danger.”

“Hard to believe when that ain’t what this signed paper says.”

Your eyes lingered on the scrap he held up and you tried to focus on what you could read off of it. Shit. Right there was your name and a note that said to keep you away from any danger like Micah had told you. It was even signed with a name that looked vaguely familiar. But strangely enough, your last name wasn’t there, just YN. A thought struck you that your father would be embarrassed his daughter had gone and hitched herself to the enemy and you sent a silent thank you that his ego had won out. 

“You’re right, that is me on that page.” Micah’s eyebrows shot up into his dirty hair as you made up a cover story on the spot. “I’ve been on the run for something I didn’t know about at the time it happened.”

“And what’s that now?” 

You batted your eyelashes innocently to buy some time. “Can’t blame a girl for falling in love, can you? I...back in Blackwater there was a man I courted. We were almost engaged, but on the day of the proposal another woman came into town.” You paused for a dramatic effect that was surely lost on Micah. “His wife. It turns out he had been married for ten years and was planning to con me out of my family inheritance. Well, two months later I get a letter saying he’s dead and that I’m wanted for going through with it even though he had gone back with his wife to the city! I’ve been on the run since then, but they want a trial which is why they asked for me to be safe. To see if I could locate the locket he left behind in Blackwater worth thousands.” 

Micah looked unimpressed. But somehow, his mind accepted this story and he dropped your gaze with a huff. “You better talk to Dutch about this.” 

You nodded and promised you would, your heart kicking up a few speeds after he stalked away. How in the world had he bought the same story you had read off the back of one of Hosea’s mystery novels?

Dutch strode down through the front doors and you realized you would need to tell him. The truth this time, not some made up story. The bubble inside of you threatened to burst with the tension you were carrying as the secret loomed heavy over your head. 

“Why, good morning YN! Did you sleep better last night? Arthur said there were some...troubles.” 

You blushed slightly and adapted Dutch’s gait as he made his way to the gazebo with you. “Yes, thank you. Just some things on my mind. I was actually hoping that we could talk?”

Dutch stepped to the side and made a sweeping gesture, ushering you into the structure. “For you my dear, I always have an ear. Now. What can I do for you?”

“YN! Where did that woman go, Tilly you seen her? Swear I checked everywhere.” 

Arthur had finally awoken and was ready to start the day, dressed for heading into town. You walked out of the gazebo from a very pensive Dutch. He leaned his hands on the white railings after claiming the need of a few minutes to process everything you had confided in him. Dutch was a smart man; he made plans in the blink of an eye and always had the group at the heart of what he did so you were confident in your choice of who to tell. The world was lighter, you were no longer alone in knowing your secret. 

“Arthur!” You called and waved him over. He muttered something to himself and pulled you in for a chaste kiss. A smile crinkled the lines outside of his eyes that you loved so much while he told you about what he was off to do. Something to help the gang, money, the usual schtick. 

The one thing that caught your attention was the mention of Josiah Trelawney tagging along. 

“Hasn’t he been away awhile?”

Arthur nodded. “He comes and goes. Should be here soon, but Dutch seems to be alright with him wandering in and out of camp as he pleases. Like I’ve said, loyalty goes a long way with that man.” 

You smiled to yourself knowing that you had showed Dutch more loyalty by confiding in him. Hopefully he would take your words to heart. 

“Arthur, my dear boy, it has been too long!” 

Trelawney sat upon his horse as they slowly walked into camp, waving at a few shouts in his direction. The well dressed man looked healthy, smiling as he removed his top hat and avoided the mud puddles that formed on the path up to the house as he strolled to stand with you and Arthur. You were greeted with a bow. 

“I see I missed all the excitement, may I see it?”

For a moment you stood frozen, appalled that he would speak about Kieran and the attack in that way. It was very unlike Josiah and Arthur scoffed next to you. After a moment he reached out and took your left hand in his, admiring the ring on your finger and you and Arthur laughed. He meant the engagement. 

“How did you ask her, Arthur? Hopefully it was worthy of such a fine woman.”

Arthur blushed and rubbed the back of his neck as he retold the story. You could listen to him retell it over and over, it never got old. The build up as you stayed in the cabin, how he had bought you the book Pride and Prejudice after your old copy was destroyed in the fight with Micah, and how you looked when he suprised you and accepted. It was truly wonderful and you wondered how Arthur had described it in his journal. 

You slipped your hand into his and squeezed, telling him through touch how much you utterly loved him. 

“When is the ceremony then?” 

The question caught you off guard. You and Arthur hadn’t discussed how that would happen. “Hopefully soon. Just hard to find time to plan in the middle of this mess.” Arthur smiled at you as a thanks for having an answer ready. 

“Well, Arthur might I steal YN away before we head out to the boat?”

“Boat?” Arthur snorted. “Dutch didn’t say anything about a boat.”

“Ah. Well, do you at least have a nicer suite to wear? Something with less...dust. We’ll be with high society for the poker game.”

Arthur muttered something under his breath as he walked away and into the house, upset that no one told him he would have to dress up for the scheme that evening. Josiah sighed but smiled at you, a gesture that surely meant he had gone through this same routine with Arthur many times before. 

“How have you been, Josiah? We missed having you around. Your flair is one of a kind.”

The man offered you his arm to hold as you strolled around the grounds, and for the first time you saw Shady Belle as a shell of its former self. You pointed out the different spots around the house of interest, not that there were many, and conversation was easy. Talking to Josiah was like drinking a fine champagne; smooth and bubbly but not something that could be indulged in every day. 

“My dear, I did want to speak to you about something else. It’s a delicate topic, let’s sit out here away from the crowd.” He led you to a few barrels turned into seats as your stomach started to turn. 

“I ran into someone in Saint Denis who had your likeness drawn out, with longer hair of course, and offering a reward for your return.” He let the confession sit heavy in the air between you like the humidity that clung to your skin. “I know that you ran away for other reasons, but do they know who your family is? I’m afraid something bad will happen if the wrong person opens their mouth while out in the city.”

“He’s still here?” You whispered. Josiah nodded and covered your hand with his own at your distress. “Josiah I, I don’t know what to do. I can’t tell the others, they won’t understand. Like you said I ran away from him; he followed me here, I never wanted to bring harm to anyone. Least of all to those who took me in when I needed it.”

“I know. Just wanted to make sure you had someone to confide in. If that’s just me, I’ll happily hold that burden with you. Does Arthur know?”

“No.” You answered curtly. “And he can’t find out. To know he’s engaged to his enemy’s daughter? He would hate me.”

Josiah looked around to make sure no one was nearby before speaking. “My dear, I don’t think you give him enough credit, he’s a strong man who has been through his fair share of unfair circumstances and learned to look for the light at the end of the tunnel. But I won’t force your hand, of course. Some battles we need to take on ourselves.”

“I know, and it’s unfortunately my decision.” You flinched at the hard tone in your voice. “I just don’t want anyone hurt because of me. I can’t, I can’t live with that.”

“YN, we’ve all hurt people before. Eventually you have to just look out for the ones who matter.”

Arthur had lumbered out of the house and found you and Josiah sitting at the table, motioning he was ready to go. He tried to hide his fancy suit that he bought when you went to the mayor’s house, even though the thought of that evening sent your stomach into butterflies. 

You walked over and ran your hands along the buttons, fixing one that had gotten out of place. 

“Now, Josiah, make sure this fiance of mine gets back here in one piece, you hear? He’s got someone waiting for him back at home now.” Arthur chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to your lips, murmuring something sweet before heading off to his horse to leave. You watched Josiah follow him and lead Strauss and Javier out of the camp as well, wondering just what kind of trouble they had cooked up this time. 

The last bit of joy seemed to be sucked out of the air as the men left, and the weight of what happened with the O’Driscolls and poor Kieran filled the empty space. You placed a hand on your chest just to check if the hollow feeling in your heart was real or not, and almost disappointed when it wasn’t because at least physical wounds all healed. That was something you experienced first hand. 

It had taken time and work, but your leg was finally whole again after Colm had shot you. What a wild ride it had been living with the Van der Linde gang, who would have ever thought that any of this would happen to you?

Dutch stood on the balcony above, looking down at the group. He slowly smoked a cigar and you could almost see the gears moving in his mind. As he caught your eye he nodded, then looked curtly away. 

“Micah, can I ask you something?” 

The question was out of your mouth before you knew what your question was but the man stopped and dropped the bale of hay he had been trying to move. 

“Finally come to your senses and plan to ditch Morgan for a real man?”

Your stomach turned at the thought but you waved it away, eager to solve this gnawing riddle that had wormed its way into your head. 

“I need to see that paper again. Can I look at it?” 

He agreed as long as you stood right in front of him and promised not to rip or damage it in any way. You gripped the page and searched it over until you nearly had the words memorized. Maybe it had been something in the slant of your name where you could detect your father’s writing that had gripped you, or how he refused to put your last name that held its grip on you just a little bit too long. Something about this felt off…

And then you noticed it. It wasn’t anything about your name that had drawn you back to look over the paper. It was the name that approved of the order, who had sent the dogs running after your scent. 

It had been signed by Cornelius Staten. The man you met back in Rhodes.

[chuffyfan87]

Growing Pains. Part 14b

"Hey, you're OK. You're safe." Duffy reassured him softly.

Louis searched the room. It took him a few minutes to remember where he was.

"Do you want to talk about your dream?" Duffy asked gently.

“Found Katy dead.” Louis whispered.

"Katy?"

“Girl I met here.” Louis smiled sadly, “I had sex with her in exchange for heroin, we took it together. She was a friend of Tony’s. She had to leave... Dream about her sometimes.” He admitted quietly.

"Ah. Did you have feelings for her?"

“She was troubled, empty eyes.”

"Why did she have to leave?"

“It wasn’t working, her been here.” Louis said sadly.

"It will have been done to help her try to get better."

“I know.” Louis yawned and stretched.

"We should let you get back to what you were doing before we arrived. I'll speak to the doctor for you."

“I went for a run and then I had a shower and tidied. I’ll probably just sleep when you leave.”

"Have you not been sleeping much at night?"

“Some nights I really struggle with wanting to inject.” Louis admitted.

"That'll get easier with time. Do they have you on a substitute substance to ease you off?"

“Yeh, Methadone.”

"That will hopefully help."

“It does sometimes.”

"That's progress." She paused as the staff member from earlier reappeared at the door.

“It’s time to say bye now, isn’t it?” Louis asked the staff member sadly.

"That's right."

Louis hugged his parents goodbye, “Love you both. Thank you for coming to see me.”

"We'll see you again soon. Take care of yourself." Duffy replied as she hugged him tight.

“You too.” Louis kissed their cheeks before heading off back to his room. “Love you.” He called.

Duffy briefly spoke to the facility doctor before joining Charlie outside. She was deeply concerned by how quiet he was.

“Are you okay?” Charlie asked her quietly as they sat in the car.

"Yeh." She replied though now she was outside her hands were shaking slightly.

“That cant have been easy for you.” He placed his hand against her knee.

He could feel her leg tense under his hand.

“Talk to me?” He moved his hand from her knee.

"He's just a child." She mumbled.

“I know.”

"Where did I go wrong? I tried so hard to treat him just the same as the others." A tear trickled down her cheek.

He brushed away the tear, “This isn’t your fault. He said it himself, it just got complicated.”

"I started it all. I should have stayed away."

“I started all this, remember.”

"How'd you figure that out?"

“I chose to have an affair. It was me who had a choice to not marry Baz but still went ahead and did it, despite being in love with you.”

"But if I hadn't come back to Holby..."

“If you hadn’t, you’d be dead now.” He pointed out. “I didn’t realise how bad Louis’ thoughts were about you.”

"Maybe." She sighed. "I just keep going back over it all. Everything I've said... Everything I've done..."

“You’ve been amazing to him, Duffy. Seeing him asleep in your lap again, made me realise just how much of a child he really is. And how much he’d been doing this all alone.”

"How did we let it get to this?" She sighed.

“None of us are to blame for this."

"You could barely look at him in there."

“I almost lost it when he said...” Charlie swallowed.

"That he'd had thoughts of raping me?" She whispered.

Charlie nodded. “I wanted to kill him!” He whispered back.

"He doesn't know the true depth of what he said Charlie."

“Doesn’t he?”

"What do you mean? He doesn't know what happened in the past..."

“Do you believe him?” He asked quietly, “That he won’t hurt you?”

"He's your son. What other option do I have?"

“When I decided to visit, this wasn’t what I was expecting to be greeted with.” Charlie paused, “I feel he’s genuinely sorry for what he’s done.”

"So do I." She reached for his hand. "What were you expecting?"

“A moody teenager, still pretending he didn’t have a problem.”

"He's making progress."

Charlie nodded and squeezed her hand, “He is.”

They fell into a slightly more comfortable silence as Charlie drove them home. As soon as they arrived back inside Duffy headed for the stairs. "I'm going to run a bath." She mumbled before dashing up the stairs.

Before he could follow her to make sure she was OK Charlie was railroaded by the twins.

"We need to talk to you dad." Tilly insisted.

Charlie watched as his wife headed up the stairs before turning back to the twins. “What’s wrong princesses?” He asked as he tucked a strand of hair behind Lottie and Tilly’s ears.

"What's going on with mum? She's acting all weird and it's got to stop." Lottie replied.

“What do you mean honey?”

"First she let Beth stay over loads and then she let Sarah move in. She said it was only for a few days til she got things sorted but it's been almost a month now. At this rate she'll still be here when the baby comes!" Lottie explained.

"Is that her plan? To get herself another baby?" Tilly added.

“What? No girls.” He sighed softly, “Your mum’s helping Sarah because Sarah doesn’t have anywhere else to go. It’s not to get herself another baby.” He reassured.

"This place is quickly turning into the house of waifs and strays!" Tilly complained.

He chuckled, “Tots! Be nice, not everyone is as lucky as you to have a loving family.”

Tilly rolled her eyes.

"Its not just people either. I heard her talking to Holly the other day about a pair of abandoned kittens!" Lottie remarked, throwing her arms up dramatically.

“When you were younger, all you and Tilly wanted was a cat. Do you not want one anymore?”

"That's not the point!" Lottie retorted.

“It’s who your mum is, Lottie. She cares.”

"Where does it end though dad? She's gunna start bringing patients home with her at this rate!"

“Don’t give her any ideas.” Charlie laughed softly, “I’ll talk to your mum ok, girls?” He kissed their noses.

"While you're talking to her can you tell her to tell Krystal to put some clothes on before leaving Jake's room next time!" Tilly requested, pulling a face.

“Did you get an eyeful?”

"Yeh and its not the first time!"

“I will mention it to your mum. Anything else I should mention?”

"We're just worried about her. She seems different recently." Lottie sighed.

“I know sweetheart, I worry too. Ok?” He kissed both their foreheads, “I’ll go and talk to her now.”

"Thanks dad. She might listen to you."

“I can only hope.” He went upstairs to their bedroom.

The bathroom door was closed but the sound of sloshing water could be heard from the other side as well as the occasional sob.

“Sweetheart, can I come in?”

Upon hearing his voice Duffy began to cry harder.

“Babe?”

She didn't reply but after checking the handle and realising it was unlocked he cautiously, slowly, opened the door.

Her skin was bright red, both from the heat of the near boiling water she sat in and the way she'd been ferociously scrubbing at herself since she'd gotten in the bath.

Without saying anything, Charlie got into the bath with her fully clothed. He placed his hands over hers to stop herself from hurting herself another more. “You’re not dirty.” He whispered.

She tried to pull away but she lacked the strength to fight. Her skin had broken and started to bleed on her thighs.

“Look at me?” He said gently.

"I..." She ran her fingers along the open wounds.

He gently lifted her chin up and held her gaze. “You are not dirty.”

"Its my fault." She mumbled.

“No it’s not.”

"It has to be something I've done. No other reason makes sense." She insisted.

“You haven’t done anything!” He protested, “None of this is your fault!”

"I've found myself here countless times."

“And every time you fight the same demons that try and drown you.”

"The only common factor is me."

“It’s not because of you.”

She curled herself up, drawing her knees to her chest, suddenly realising how exposed she was. She'd been careful not to let her husband see the devastating effect her fast spiralling eating problems were having upon her once more.

“You need help.” He said gently. “How about we go back to the therapist?”

"No!" She pulled away from his arms and moved out of the bath, grabbing a towel and quickly wrapping it around herself before fleeing the room.

“You need to, baby. We can’t go on like this anymore, you can’t.”

"One tiny relapse and you want me back in therapy?! No!" She argued from the bedroom as Charlie removed his soaked clothes so he could dry off.

“A tiny relapse?!” He replied, “There’s nothing tiny about it!”

"There's nothing wrong with me!" She yelled.

“Yes there is.”

"No there isn't!"

“You’re skin and bone!” He replied.

"Hardly. Don't exaggerate!"

“I’m not exaggerating.” He sighed, “I know you’ve been abusing laxatives.”

"What?! I don't know what you're talking about!"

“You’re not ok, gorgeous.”

"I'd like to know where you get off throwing baseless accusations around..!"

He sighed, “I’m not. I know you’re not ok.”

"I'm fine. I'm completely in control and don't need you fussing and accusing me of all sorts."

“No you’re not fine! You’re skin and bone and you’ve just been scrubbing your skin red raw in the bath!”

"I don't want to talk about this."

“Because I’m getting to close to the truth?”

[johaerys-writes]

Dorian Pavus/Trevelyan

A World With You, Chapter 14: Somewhat Biased

Making decisions that will affect thousands is hard. Having people oppose you every step of the way is even harder. It doesn’t take much for someone to crack under that sort of pressure.

Thankfully, Dorian’s there to provide said someone with some much needed comfort. <3

Read here or on AO3!

*************************

Skyhold’s yard was buzzing with activity. Ascending the stairs to the dais, Tristan felt every step heavier than the last as a wave of indistinct susurrus washed over him. Cullen, Leliana and Josephine were already there, waiting for him. The bright sun reflected on Cullen’s armour and on Josephine’s golden neckpiece, so much so that they were almost blinding. Hoping that he wasn’t squinting too much, he climbed the last few steps and stood tall between them, his back as straight as he could make it.

His eyes drifted over the tightly packed, indistinguishable crowd below. They were all watching him, expectancy and curiosity gleaming in their eyes. The murmurs and whispers gradually died as all faces turned to stare at him.

The parchment in his hands felt heavy and stiff. His speech had been carefully crafted, and he had obsessively rehearsed it in front of the mirror in his quarters for days since returning from the Hinterlands, but now it was different. He felt like even if he tried to speak, none of the words he had prepared would come. He fought the urge to turn around on his heels and run back to his quarters.

Nowhere to go now. A deep breath, and in he went.

They all listened silently as he talked about the Inquisition’s work, and praised them all for their service and their bravery. A mention for those who had fallen in Haven, and a vague promise that their deaths would not be in vain in the battle against Corypheus. A few heads nodded mournfully.

Another breath and a pause to let his words linger. Thedas was waiting to hear about the future of the rebel mages. The Inquisition, Tristan declared, had made its full support of mages across Thedas known. “Now is the time for change,” he said, and his voice rang harsh and wooden in his ears. “Now is the time to address the issues that led us here in the first place.”

Several gasps disrupted the silence when Tristan openly denounced the rule of the Chantry over mages in general, and the rebel mages in particular. New Circles would be founded for the rebel mages that had allied themselves with the Inquisition, and would become places of knowledge and research for mages, overseen by mages. The members of the Circles would be able to research and hone their skills safely, and after their mandatory years of attendance had been fulfilled, they would be free to stay there or lead normal lives in the outside world.

Ignoring the horrified expressions of the Chantry sisters in the crowd, Tristan pressed on, hardly pausing to take a breath.

The Rite of Tranquility, as well as Harrowings, would never be performed in Skyhold or the Circles founded by the Inquisition. Both flawed solutions for problems that were barely understood even by mages today.

"A mage will not become immune to demons by being tossed in the Fade amidst demons, the same as one would not become an expert fighter by being thrown, barely armed, in a pit of wolves. Hundreds, if not thousands of mages have been lost that way, when they didn't have to. This is our chance to find a better answer to the issue of possession, if we all work together."

Cheers and claps amidst confused glances erupted from the crowd.

Tilly’s face flashed in his mind. He steeled himself before he carried on.

“Fraternisation and family visits will be allowed, as in any other school or university. Magical research will be encouraged and supported, and emphasis will be given to the study and practice of practical and defensive magic, rather than offensive magic. No more will mages be treated like devils, prisoners or weapons of war. Magic is in service of the people of Thedas, not against them.”

More cheers sounded from below. A reluctant voice emerged after the roar from the crowd had quietened. “What will happen with the Templars?”

Tristan’s brows were furrowed as he searched for the man in the crowd that had spoken. His blood sizzled just underneath his skin, but when he spoke his voice was thankfully level. “The future of the Templar Order is still under consideration. The Order and the Chantry will have to answer for their many abuses of power and cases of misconduct against mages and researchers, once the battle against Corypheus is won. For the moment, we must all band together and fight against the common enemy with all of our might.”

When he prepared his speech, he knew that it would not please everyone. The reforms he was proposing were the most drastic that had been undertaken in hundreds of years. The yard erupted in cheers, gasps of surprise and fierce arguments. The Chantrics and the Templars were watching him with narrowed eyes, while mages were either praising his name or arguing amongst themselves. The nobles and dignitaries that had arrived to hear his speech were watching the chaos around them, some of them clinically and dispassionately, while others seemed altogether horrified.

It hardly mattered. What was done, was done. He gazed at the buzzing crowd before him, a vast emptiness spreading inside him. He had been thinking about this matter for weeks, months, entire years. He had tried, time and time again, to imagine what it would be like to play a part in the shaping of the mages' future. And now that it was done, he felt… hollow.

None of what he did would ever bring her back. But he could at least try to make sure that no one else had the same fate she did. Not if he could help it.

Clenching his jaw, Tristan ascended the steps to the throne room, his advisors at his heels.

“Mentioning the Chantry and the Templars may not have been the wisest decision, Inquisitor,” Cullen said in a low voice, falling into step alongside him. “We still need all the support we can get from them.”

Tristan sniffed audibly, not even looking in the Commander’s direction. “I could hardly have evaded a question like that, Cullen. Besides, the Chantry would be displeased no matter what I said. It seems to be their speciality.” He pressed on towards the end of the room, not looking behind him, to avoid any further talk. His heart was still pumping from talking in front of so many people, and he wasn’t certain he would be able to keep his composure if another one of his advisors confronted him.

The feast that followed was a quiet and humble one, organised by Ambassador Josephine for the high ranking members of the Inquisition and the nobles that had attended the speech. Tristan’s stomach was growling by the time the hors d’oeuvres were served. He had been too nervous to eat anything before the speech, so now he downed two spicy cakes one after the other, sighing in relief. He had managed to slip away from all those that were looking for him to congratulating him on his declarations, and had carefully hidden himself in a quiet corner behind a large stone column, when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

“There he is! The man of the hour. I’ve been looking all over for you.”

Since their trip to Redcliffe, he and Dorian had somewhat returned to their usual companionable banter. Some awkwardness still lingered, but Tristan was glad that he could at least speak to him as they used to.

He turned to face him, a half smile already widening his lips. “And here I thought that hiding away was my strong suit. It appears my stealth skills have gotten a bit rusty.”

“So it seems. All this time under the spotlight has grown on you, I wager,” Dorian said, smiling behind the rim of his wine cup. “Skyhold’s buzzing, within and without. Soon the news will spread all over Thedas. I have to admit, you do know how to cause a stir.”

“I’ve learnt from the very best.”

Dorian laughed heartily, his arm resting on his waist. He opened his mouth, no doubt preparing to reply with a witty jab of his own, when heavy bootsteps sounded behind them. “Here comes trouble,” he murmured, taking a step back.

Cassandra stepped between them, eyes blazing. “Inquisitor,” she said. “May I speak with you?”

Tristan straightened up, preparing himself for yet another tirade. “Of course, Cassandra. What is it?”

She eyed Dorian behind her back, who took another step back and turned the other way, sipping on his wine casually, as if oblivious to her rage. “I wish to talk to you about… your proclamations.”

Tristan nodded, with some reserve.

Cassandra took a short breath, glancing at her boots before fixing her dark eyes on his. “Have you any idea what you’ve done?”

Her bluntness took Tristan aback. She had said the words so quietly, it did not even sound as if she was mad, but Tristan knew she was boiling with anger. He crossed his arms before his chest and looked at her coolly. “I know very well what I’ve done. I’ve given this a lot of thought, Seeker. I believe it’s the best way forward.”

Cassandra’s nostrils flared. “By giving the mages full authority? Making the Chantry and the Templars look like they were solely responsible for everything that happened? Is that your idea of the best way forward?”

Tristan bristled at her curt tone. “If the Chantry and the Templars had not been abusing mages for centuries and painting them as the evil ones, the war itself would not have happened in the first place. The Chantry and their propaganda is to blame here. I’ll make sure they stay as far away from the mages as possible.” His voice was low and determined as he uttered the last words. If he so much as raised it a little, he was afraid he might start yelling and never stop.

Cassandra huffed in annoyance, her scowl deepening. “Abolishing the circles will only bring about chaos. People are still wary of mages. They don't even know how to govern themselves!”

“They don't know because the Chantry never let them.”

“And for good reason! Don't you know how dangerous a mage can be when let loose?”

“Almost as dangerous as a Templar or a Seeker when let loose,” he hissed, his voice dripping with vehemence.

Cassandra took a step back as if she had been hit in the stomach. Her eyes were wide as saucers when she looked at him. Her astonishment didn’t last long. Soon, she was rounding up on him, brows knit in fury. “You are a fool if you think that this will work. What’s next? Disbanding the Templars and the Seekers? Making the mages rulers of Thedas? You can't just blow everything up and expect it to work by itself purely because of good intentions!”

“It’s not-“ Tristan started, then stopped. He could argue with her for hours if he let himself, but he wasn’t about to do that. Allow enough people to think that they can question your decisions and you’ll never make another, his mother always said. For all the terrible things she had told him, she did have some sound pieces of advice to offer.

He took a deep breath in an attempt to soothe the waves of irritation rising in his chest. “What’s done is done. There's no going back now. Everyone needs to work together this time otherwise it's all for nothing.”

Cassandra rubbed her temples, huffing like a caged bull. When she looked at him again her eyes could make a forge melt. “Who will stop the mages when they decide to grab at power again, if the only people able to do that are not there anymore? I’ll tell you who,” she growled, bringing her face so close to his their noses almost touched. “The people of Thedas will bleed once more. The farmers, the sheep-herders, the dock workers. Men, women and children, defenceless against the dangers of magic. They will pay, as they always do. Only this time, there won’t be anyone left by the time the mages are done with them. I will not stand for this!”

Tristan’s nails dug deep into his arms as they rested there. He hadn’t realised he was trembling with anger. He forced himself to take a breath and pressed his lips together in a tight line, returning Cassandra’s glare levelly. “Seeker Pentaghast,” he said, lowering his voice so that only she could hear him. “You are still a member of the Inquisition, are you not? Or should I start doubting your loyalty?”

Her gasp was barely audible. “What?”

Tristan kept staring at her, determined not to back down. When he didn’t answer, she narrowed her eyes. “How dare you,” she spat. “I was the one who called the Inquisition into existence. Do you think I’m going to abandon it that easily?”

“You called the Inquisition, but I am leading it. You were the one who offered me the title. ‘Wherever you lead us’. You said that. Is that not true for you anymore?”

“Of course it is,” Cassandra retorted indignantly. “That does not mean I will agree with every-“

He cut her off with a sharp wave of his hand. “If you still believe it’s true, then act like it. If you don’t like the way things are now, help me make it right. I can only do so much by myself. If I can’t rely on the people around me, then what point is there?”

Tristan’s throat strained with the effort of keeping his voice calm, but he clenched his jaws as tightly as he could. He had promised himself he would not lose his composure, no matter what.

Cassandra blinked, taken aback by his words. “Inquisitor, I… I didn’t…”

“Excuse me, Seeker.” He brushed past her before she could finish her sentence, barely noticing her disgruntled look as he walked away, as far away from her as possible. Faces turned towards him as he stalked away, nodding in greeting and calling his name. He ignored them all. His eyes were burning behind his eyelids, his vision was blurry. He opened the first door he found and closed it hurriedly behind him.

He leaned with his back against the cold stone wall. He could still hear the sound of voices and music on the other side of the door, but it all seemed so far away from him. The stair to the library was empty. He was all alone. Finally.

He let his anger and frustration stream down his face. He had no desire to stop it, no reason. His palms were still balled up in fists at his sides, green light flickering from his left hand. He glanced at it, bleary eyed, as if it belonged to someone else.

Anger bubbled inside him, thick and hot like fresh tar. All he had wanted was to bring about a change that was needed more than anything else. He had vowed long ago that he would bring justice to his sister’s memory somehow, no matter the cost to him. But along the way, it had become so much more than that. It was about transforming the very hearts of the people, creating a world where no other mage would have to go through what Tilly had. Now that he was finally doing it, everyone wanted to rip him apart. How could he ever hope to change a world that was so rigid and unforgiving? And why was he not just letting it burn to the ground, with him in it?

He heard the latch on the door turning, and quickly wiped the tears from his face. It was an effort to assume a serious and unaffected expression when his eyes were still burning. Whoever it was, he would just excuse himself and go up the stairs to the library, right up to Leliana’s office and just hide himself there, away from everything and everyone, until…

His heart returned to its place when he saw Dorian’s face peeking through the door opening, but only barely. He closed it behind him softly and turned to face him, grey eyes searching Tristan’s face. “I couldn’t help but overhear what happened. Are you alright?” he asked, his voice edged with worry.

Tristan huffed, but it sounded more like a half sob. “Of course. Never better.” He took his handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped his eyes and nose. He must have looked a mess. “Forgive me, I just… I’m not sure what happened back there. I guess it was the nerves from the speech, and Cassandra…” He shook his head and bit the inside of his lip, afraid to say more lest he embarrass himself even more.

Dorian nodded, taking a small, tentative step forward. “I understand. There’s no need to apologise to me. Maker knows how frustrating Seeker Pentaghast can be. She’s almost brought me to tears once or twice, and I didn’t threaten her precious Chantry. Truly!” he insisted with a smile, when Tristan started laughing.

The sound of his laughter echoed eerily along the empty staircase. Tristan sighed heavily, and wiped his eyes again. His smile was now only a memory on his lips.

“Cassandra is only the beginning. There are many who will oppose my decisions, this I know. I never asked for this sort of thing. I don’t even know what I’m doing half the time, yet the weight of the world falls on me. Everyone talks about how bad things are, how much needs to change, but no one wants to do anything about it. I’m aware there might be… personal reasons affecting my judgement, but at least I’m doing something. I’m trying to make things better. Curse me for a fool, but I am.”

He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall. He was weary, so impossibly weary. He felt the sudden urge to just run away from it all.

Dorian’s voice was low and tender, a gentle caress after a painful blow. “What you did was very brave. I don’t say this very often but you are… unlike anyone I have ever met. You bring about change, everywhere you go. Not many people can claim that. Certainly not the ones running their mouths outside this door.”

He peaked under half closed lids at him. “You almost make it sound like you admire me.”

Dorian huffed in mock exasperation. “Very well, you’ve rooted me out. I obviously think you’re incredible. But I might be somewhat… biased.” Dorian was watching him carefully, silvery grey eyes glinting in the amber light of a torch above them. How beautiful were his eyes.

Without thinking, Tristan surged forward. Lips found warm, soft lips. The feel of skin against skin. A small gasp of surprise, a gentle moan in the echoing silence of the stair room. The taste of red wine on his tongue, the sweetness of cinnamon and cloves, and underneath it all, the taste of him.

It was everything he had been hoping for, everything he had been missing. It was soft, and warm, and tender, and it felt right. Maker, but it did. All reservations flew out of his mind when their lips locked, all the reasons why he’d been avoiding it, why he’d been running away. At that moment, drunk on the warmth of their shared breath, he regretted every single moment he could have kissed him and didn’t.

At that very moment, he knew; how could something that felt so right ever be wrong?

A moment passed, then another, enough time to wonder whether it was just him, whether he had pushed his luck too far this time. He drew back slightly to look up, lips already aching with the absence of his. But before he could speak, Dorian had leaned in, capturing his lips in a kiss of his own.

It was all he needed. With a soft whimper, Tristan clung to him desperately. He kissed him harder, surrendering everything he had, barely stopping to draw breath. He needed, needed to be close to him, closer, as close as possible. Dorian’s arms were on the small of his back, pulling him in, holding nothing back. Tristan felt his breath leaving him when Dorian pushed him up against the wall, his breath hot and ragged on his skin. A sigh escaped his lips as Dorian pulled back, eyes blazing under heavy eyelids.

He brought one hand up to cup Tristan’s cheek, his thumb brushing over his bottom lip. His eyes followed the movement of his finger with unusual intensity, as if he couldn't quite believe Tristan was there.

“I’ve been dreaming about this, you know,” Dorian whispered. His expression deepened, the sadness that Tristan had seen back then shining through. "I thought..." he hesitated. His eyes fixed themselves on Tristan's, and he let out a short, pained laugh. "I had almost lost hope."

Tristan's heart tightened. He cupped the back of his neck and gently pulled him forward, pressing his forehead to his. "I never wanted to hurt you, Dorian," he whispered, his voice choked. "All I wanted... all I ever wanted-"

Dorian leaned in, pressing a feather kiss to his lips. "It's alright,” he murmured against his mouth. “I understand."

"It's not," Tristan retorted, frowning. "I hurt you. I know I did. I pushed you away and didn’t even try to explain. Just the thought of you being upset, or angry because of me-"

"I’ll admit that there were a few moments that I wanted to smack you on the head with a particularly heavy book. But I don't anymore." Dorian smiled, a small, tender smile. "As if I could stay mad at you for long."

Tristan chuckled. “I’m not sure if that’s a good thing.”

“It is for me.”

Tristan looked up into his eyes then, expecting them to gleam teasingly. But Dorian’s expression was serious as ever. Without waiting for a response, his arms wound around Tristan’s back,  holding him fast as he pressed his mouth to his. A shiver ran through Tristan then, at the warmth and the intensity, at the pulsing need with which Dorian held on to him. Blight, it was as if they had both been frozen, the fire inside each other their only chance at life. He let himself be swept away, not quite caring what was going on around him.

A bell rang from outside, announcing the beginning of toasts and speeches for the Inquisition’s work and its future. Tristan almost rolled his eyes as he heard Lady Josephine’s smooth voice thanking everyone for attending, and addressing the more esteemed members of nobility that were present.

“Perhaps we should go back,” Dorian offered reluctantly, pulling away. “People must already be wondering where you are.”

He took a step back, his eyes lingering on Tristan’s lips before he turned away. Tristan’s heart sank as he watched him move further away. The last thing he wanted was for that moment to end. Dorian’s hand was only a hair from the door knob when Tristan caught his arm and drew him back to him.

“I think the Inquisition can stand without me for a few more minutes.”

Dorian smiled against his lips. His fingers wound themselves in his hair, softly caressing his skin, sending shivers down the length of his spine. “We’ll have to explore the truth of this, won’t we now?”

Tristan laughed breathily as he fell back, letting himself be trapped between the stone wall and Dorian’s body once more. “I guess we will.”

[frostywindmademoan]

The Girl Behind the Counter

intro: This is an on going Michael fic I’ve been working on. It is also featured on Wattpad. The whole plot will include swearing, sex, and violence. *constructive feedback is welcomed*   **like seriously I crave feedback**

Chapter 16 (Previous Chapters)

This chapter now shifts the story to be about an OC (Y/N) is now Maxamiliana, but she prefers to be called Maxie.

“OUT OUT OUT!!!” Maxie screamed. Liyana was confused and in shock. Why would there be a bomb in the shop? “NOW LIYANA!” Maxie shoved her towards the door. This brought the girl to reality. “Auntie!” Ana exclaimed with wide eyes. “You go, I’ve got her.” Maxie rushed upstairs.

“Get up! Get up now! We have to go!” Maxie hurriedly said while physically pulling her Aunt up. “Go? Where are we going? Why? I haven’t got my coat on!” Her Aunt protested. “There is a bomb downstairs we have to get out NOW!” Maxie pulled her Aunt out of the door and down the stairs as the poor woman continued to ask questions. Who could blame her? This was a situation so unbelievable it verges on being impossible. Maxie finally got her Aunt outside where the met Liyana and the three ran down the street. “Tillie!” Rosella suddenly exclaimed. She turned and, with an surprising amount of speed, ran back towards the shop. “AUNTIE NO!” Maxie screamed as she started to run after her. “Stay there Liyana!” Maxie barked the order over her shoulder. The half second it took Maxie to give that order would aunt her forever. It was just enough time for her Aunt to get just a few meters away from the building. After that half second Maxie remembered nothing but darkness and a ringing in her ear. Slowly she came to her senses. “Maxie!” Liyana yelled as she shifted some rubble in order to kneel down and turn Maxie on her back. Maxie saw Ana’s eyes grow wide once Maxie was facing up. She knew her injuries must be pretty bad. “Auntie.” Maxie croaked out the word. “Everything over there is on fire. Maxie I… I don’t think she could have made it.” Liyana’s cheeks were white with dust from the explosion and her tears left tracks running down her cheeks. Ana had a cut above her eye and cuts all up and down her arms. None of them had gotten as far away as they should have. Despite from the ringing that persisted in her ears Maxie became aware of the sound of sirens. “The fire brigade.” Liyana told her. Maxie tried to move, but winced. She wasn’t able to locate the exact cause of what made her wince because there was pain all over her body. “Try no to move. Don’t panic, but you have bits of glass and metal all over you. And there is a gash on your head.” Liyana said through her tears. “Somebody please come help!” Liyana shouted. “I’m dizzy.” Maxie whispered. “Just hold on, okay? Just stay with me! Don’t you dare fucking leave me.” Liyana warned. “Why not? Everyone left me.” Maxie saw visions of her mother, father, grandmother, and Aunt run through her mind. Then she saw black.

Maxie woke up to her being rushed through white washed walls on a gurney.  She was pushed into a room and was shifted from the gurney to a bed. Every movement sent shocks of pain through her body. “Somebody get some blood in here now before she passes out again!” A doctor ordered. New pain started to erupt all over her as shrapnel began to be removed from Maxie’s skin. From her face, her arms, her chest, her legs, and feet came shards of glass and metal of all different shapes and sizes. “Where is she?!” Maxie heard Michael’s familiar voice. from all the way out in the hall. The door open and Michael gasped “My God!” One doctor was busily stitching up every little  and large hole all over her body, as another prepared to giver her a blood transfusion. “Maxie!” Michael exclaimed as he rushed forward to take her hand. She cried out when he did this due to the still open wounds on her palm. “God I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” Michael stammered. “Get out of the way boy!” One of the doctors barked. “Michael lad, stay back here.” Maxie heard Tommy say. “Can I get a nurse to get me some morphine for this woman please!” Another doctor shouted. Maxie tried not to scream as the doctor stitched up the gash on her head. A needle would go in and then out, in and then out, in and then out. Maxie tried to keep count of how many times the needle stitched her together as a means of distracting herself from the pain, but she lost count at around six. A spoon was shoved into Maxie’s face and she swallowed the clear liquid it held. Relaxation spread through her and she thanked her God above for the relief. Her eye lids began to feel as if they weighed a thousand pounds. She tried to lift that weight at first, but in the end her eyelids shut and she drifted into a dreamless sleep. “What are they doing to her?” Michael choked, trying not to cry. “They’re giving her new blood mate. It’s safe. I saw medics do it in France.” Tommy tried to calm his cousin. “They said she lost too much blood. That’s why she needs the new blood.” A small voice in the corner piped up. Both men turned to see the girl huddle in the corner that they had not bothered to notice before. “You’re Liyana, aren’t you?” Michael turned to her. “And you must be Michael. She talks a lot about you. She loves you.” Liyana replied. This caused tears to stream down Michael’s cheeks. Liyana stood and went to him. They embraced each other and tried to provide comfort to one another. When the hug ended Tommy began to ask the important questions. “Liyana? I’m Tommy. I’m sorry you and I are meeting like this. What happened at the shop?” He calmly tried to coax the story from her. “We heard a beeping noise and we were trying to figure out what it was. Maxie looked behind the counter and then she yelled for me to run. She said there was a bomb. She made me run away while she got her Aunt. We were all out and safe and nearly a block away when Auntie remembered her bird. Maxie’s Aunt wasn’t well and that bird was her best companion. She turned back to get the bird and Maxie then ran after her. I started to follow them too, but Maxie yelled at me to stay and then the whole building just blew up. I was thrown back and hit my head. When I got up I ran over and found Maxie. I don’t know about Auntie, though. I don’t think she could have survived.” Silent tears fell from Ana’s eyes. Rosella had been just as much an Aunt to her as she was to Maxie. “Tommy. Tommy that rumor was true. Falco has been storing up all that gunpowder for bombs. It was one of his which means…” The thought Michael hadn’t finished was ’which means I did this to her,’ instead Tommy finished his sentence. “Which means Freddy Falco did this to her.” He reassured his cousin. “This is because he roughed up his guy, I guarantee it. Which means Falco is dirty enough to go after loved ones. Maxie isn’t safe, and I’m sorry Liyana but I don’t think you are either.” Tommy apologize. “Me? I don’t even know what or who you guys are talking about!” She  argued. “It was you who was in the shop when we took care of Falco’s man. I’m so sorry to bring you into all this. It was poor thinking on my part.” Tommy once again apologized. “You’re damn right it was on your part! You Peaky fucking Blinders think you can just smash people in and leave ‘em bleeding on the street without there being any retaliation? For fuck’s sake an innocent and sickly old woman is dead and all you can say is that is was ‘poor thinking!’ You fucked up! You fucked up everything! You’ve ruined everything!” Liyana yelled before falling to the floor weeping. Michael got down and wrapped her in his arms. “You’re absolutely right. I fucked it up and nothing can make up for that. I’m sorry. We’re gonna keep you safe, though. You’re under the protection of the Peaky Blinders.”

[kasl24]

Mistakes

         I walked into the school, with my head bowed down. I didn’t want to see anyone, I didn’t want anyone to see me, and I certainly didn’t want to bump into anyone. Of course, as usual, that was not an option. A few paces down the hall, and I ran into someone, causing both of us to fall to the ground. I got to my knees, and tried getting my things together, when a hand was extended towards me. I lifted my head, and brown eyes met my green ones. I took his hand, and he pulled me up.          “You okay?” The boy that I ran into asked. His chocolate brown eyes widen in worry. I took a step back, and because I was blocking the sunlight before, it now hit his brown hair, making it look like it was on fire. I realised I was staring, so I quickly averted my eyes.          “Y-yeah, I-I-I guess I’m f-fine.” I internally face-palmed. Curse my stupid speech disorder. Why can I not function properly?          “That’s good to know.” He let go of my arm, and smiled slightly. “I’m Jack, Jack Dylan.”          “A-ash—” I thought about it, and decided not to say that. My eyes rose up to meet his, before coming back down to my shoes again. “T-tilly”          “Nice to meet you, Tilly. What subject do you have first?”          “I-I-I don’t know. I’m o-on my way t-t-to the o-office.” My eyes darted around the hallway, at the different people around. Guys with slicked back hair walked around with girls practically hanging from their arms, and the nerds were literally being held up against the lockers, threatened by others. I looked back at Jack a bit, and back to my shoes. We stood there awkwardly until I decided to speak up. “W-well i-i-it was nice to meet you, J-j-jack. I sh-sh-should get g-going.”          He nodded slightly, but then lit up. “Hey, how about I walk you there. You might get lost, and this schools pretty big.”          “S-sure.” I  shrugged a bit. I didn’t really care, and to be honest, I could use a guide. Jack smiled, and put his hand around my shoulders.          “So, those are the dudes. Stay away from them. At least, until I introduce you. Then you’ll be fine. Those are the nerds. I wouldn’t go near them either. If you do……..well, it’s not gonna be too good, that’s all I’ll say.” I nodded, and slowly took in everything he said. Maybe, for once, I’ll actually fit in. Who am I kidding, that’s never gonna happen.                                                               *** Four months later           “Sh-shut up, Jack!” My face was beet red, and all the guys were laughing. Four months had passed since the day I ran into Jack Dylan on my way down the hall, and I've got to say; it’s been the best four months I've every had. That very day, Jack had taken me to meet his friends; the ones he told me to stay away from until he introduced us; Mike, Adam and Tom. I couldn’t be more grateful to have had run into Jack. Not that it didn't hurt.          “No, I’m not even joking! You turned down Kimberly Turner’s invite to her party! I mean, who does that?!” Jack was standing up with his hands gesturing wildly to show his disbelief. Right now, we were at his house, just fooling around. We were sitting around on the couch, exchanging opinions about my horrific failure today.          “So let me get this straight.” Adam sat up, and furrowed his eyebrows. “Kimberly Turner, the literal queen of the school, invited you, Tilly Crawford, a nobody—no offense—to her party, and you turned it down?!”          “W-well, yeah—” I opened my mouth to say more, but was drowned out by their laughter. “I-I mean, s-since when was I a p-p-party type of girl?          They paused for a bit, each one thinking of their own memories with me. Michael’s blonde hair was completely slicked back, and it was honestly funny to watch him. He hadn’t shaved in a while, so his stubble was turning into more of a beard. Adam, on the other hand, was completely opposite. He was clean shaven, and his auburn hair was in a bowl cut. He hated it, and the only reason he had to get it, was because Mike had stuck a piece of gum in his hair.          Jack smirked a bit. “I bet you were a party girl before you met us.”          I smiled a bit. “I was n-n-never a party t-type of girl. I-I thifnk my speech and a-anxiety disorder has t-to do with that. My s-s-stutter actually has b-been better since I m-met you guys.”          At that moment, the doorbell rang, and I groaned. I knew who it was, and I didn’t like it. Thomas got up to answer it, and my eyes followed him across the room, his light brown hair glittered from the glow of the setting sun, and his forest green eyes sparkled mischievously. In my opinion, he was extremely good looking, and I definitely felt something. I can’t believe I'm stupid enough to like a guy who doesn’t like me back.          “Hello? Earth to T-t-t-tilly?” Mike stuck his hand in front of my face, making me giggle a little. “What are you checking Thomas out for?”          Adam heard this, and I could literally see his ears perk up and his eyes brighten. “That would be so cute though! Tilly and Tom!”          I threw my head back and laughed like a maniac. This was how things were. Adam and Mike were constantly teasing me about my crush on Tom, and I would constantly try to keep Tom from finding out. It’s a miracle he hasn't yet. “Well, I highly d-doubt he’d f-find me ap-p-pealing.”          Jack, from across the room frowned, and pursed his lips. “I guess you two would look okay.”          Jeez, Jack. What’s with you today.          “Mike!” A horrible screech filled the air, and a wild bug with blonde hair and blue eyes flew into the room, and tackled poor Mike who was next to me. I immediately got up, and moved to the other side of the room, where Jack was. “Are you ready for our date tonight?”          Mike smiled tightly, his dislike for the girl was obvious to everyone but her.               

        “Yeah, Megan. About that—”

        “Don’t tell me you’re cancelling again?! You’re sister doesn't go to the ER that many times per week!” She stood up, hands on her hips, and her lips in an annoying pout. I snorted, and covered my mouth to prevent any other sound from escaping. So that was his excuse to Megan? Well, how ‘creative’.

         “No, no, no, it’s not that! It’s just—” Mike began to panic. His eyes darted to me, then to the other guys, full of pleading. “I-it’s just that Tilly’s been invited to Kimberly Turner’s party tonight and she’s given the invite to us!”           My mouth dropped open in shock, and so did everyone else’s. Didn’t we just have an entire conversation, and joke about this?! I declined it! By accident, but still, I had declined it! What is Michael King thinking?           “Oh my good lord, really?!” Megan leaped into the air, and turned to me. “Thank you so much Tilly!! That’s amazing news!!”            Of course she had to come bounding to me and wrap me in a tight bear hug. The guys were obviously trying hard not to laugh, and Mike looked extremely apologetic but also relieved. I clenched my jaw, rolled my eyes, and gave him a glare that bore right through his head.           “No p-problem, Megan. Maybe you should g-go home to ch-change? It is a p-party, and not so much o-of a f-f-fancy occasion.” I gestured slightly to her pink dress that seemed way too tight for her. Honestly, I was just buying time so I can fix the problem that Mike made. “Maybe something a b-b-bit more for p-partying?”           Megan beamed, and finally let go of me. “You’re completely right, Tilly. I should go change.  See you later Mike! Meet you at my house, 7:00?”          Mike let out a breath, and nodded. “Yeah, sounds good. Bye, Meg.”          I turned my body to face her as she walked away, a polite smile on my face. As soon as the door slammed, my smile dropped, replaced with a frown, and my attention was turned towards Mike. With my voice dangerously low, I started towards him. “Michael King. What in the heck were you thinking?!”


          “I’m sorry! I swear! I just panicked, and didn’t know what to say!” He got up, and tried to get behind the couch, but tripped, and ended up in the same position.“I’m sorry, I really am!”
 I got up in his face, and opened my mouth to yell at him some more, but then I just stopped. I dropped to my knees, and just stared at him tiredly. 

         “W-what am I s-s-supposed to do, Mike? I did not accept th-that invitation, therefore I c-cannot give it to you, and now I have to c-clean up the mess that you m-m-made!”           “I’m sorry, Tilly. I really am!”           “I know. B-but unfortunately, ‘sorry’ can’t fix this.” I got up, and sat next to him. “Now I have to d-do the one thing th-that I never wanted to d-do.”           “What are you going to do?” Tom, who was apparently holding a glass of milk now, rose an eyebrow at me.          I stood up, grabbed my jacket and sighed. Glancing again at Mike, I smiled tightly. “I'm gonna g-go ask Kimberly T-turner for that invite a-again.” With that, I turned around and walked out of the house.                                                          ***          I stood on the porch of a nice little blue cottage, just a little out of the town. Who would have ever thought that ‘Queen Kimberly’ lived here? I pushed my thumb into the doorbell, and stepped back. I don’t even know what to say! I mean, what am I supposed to do? Hey Kimberly. It’s me, Tilly, the girl that turned down the offer to your party tonight. Can I have another one? No, I can’t say that.          “Hello?” An old looking woman stood in the doorway. “Can I help you?” I jumped a bit. Didn't notice her. Okay, here we go. “Hi, m-my name is Tilly C-crawford. Is K-k-kimberly Turner h-here?”          “You’re looking for Kimberly?” The old woman smiled kindly. “I’m her grandmother, Anne. I’ll go get her for you. Why don’t you come inside? I’ve just put the cookies in the oven.”           Carefully stepping into the house, I followed Anne. Halfway in, I got tackled by tiny chihuahuas. Not one, not two, SIX!! SIX FREAKING CHIHUAHUAS tackled me! Obviously, I was screaming my head off, which brought Anne’s attention to me, but also brought someone bustling down the stairs.           “What’s going on?! GRANNY!” A familiar prissy voice rang from the stairway. “Ana, Alicia, Angie, Aura, Ava, Alexa!! Heel! Now! HEEL!!”           The six little monsters climbed off me, but still sat around me, panting. Anne came hurrying towards me, with a slight frown on her face. “Sorry, dear, these old legs aren’t getting me anywhere these days.”           I smiled a bit, but I was still really confused. Who had shouted for them to heel? I feel like I know that voice, but I really couldn’t put my finger on it. That was, until they showed up.           “Tilly? Is that you?” There she was. Kimberly Turner, the queen of the school. Wearing loose sweat pants and a worn out Hello Kitty shirt with her hair piled messily on her head? “What are you doing at my house?”          I shook my head a bit, taking a second look at her, but sure enough, it was Kimberly. Hello Kitty shirt and all. “U-uh, yeah. I-it’s me, T-tilly. H-hey Kimberly.”          “Um, hey.” She rose an eyebrow at me, but then shrugged. Walking forward, she held a hand out to me. I took it, and she pulled me up. Brushing myself off, I took a third look at Kimberly. She doesn’t seem like a queen from this point. “So, why are you here?”          I looked down to my toes. Now, how was I supposed to say this? “U-um, so you know how I-I kind of t-t-turned down your offer to your p-party?”          She stiffened. Letting her eye roll a bit, she nodded. “Yeah, what about it?”


         “C-can I t-t-take you up on that o-offer?” I cringed inwardly. “I-I mean, c-could, I still g-get tha—I’m s-sorry, could I still g-go?”          She rose her eyebrows at me, and smiled a bit. “Are you asking if you could come to my party tonight?”           “Y-yeah.” I nodded slightly.          “Sure, why not.” She smiled, making her grey eyes sparkle a bit. “Actually, can you do me a couple favours?”          “Yeah, s-sure. Anything.” It was the least I could do. I mean, I did turn down an offer to her party, and asked for it back.           “Invite a couple more people.” She scrunched up her face, and ran her hands through her ginger hair. “And, you know that friend of yours? The one with the cute auburn bowl cut, and hazel eyes?”           Furrowing my eyebrows, I thought about it. Bowl cut? Definitely Adam. “Y-you mean, A-adam?”          “Oh yeah, that’s his name.” She snapped her fingers. “Yeah, him. Could you get me a date with him? Or at least a meet-up or something?”          “Yeah, I-I guess.” I mean, what guy doesn’t want a date with Kimberly Turner, the queen of the school?          “Okay, it’s settled then.” She clapped her hands, and smiled. “Need anything else?”           “Um, no. I-I should get back to the g-guys.”          “M’kay, see you tonight!” She led me to the door, and stood there, presumably waiting for me to walk away.                                                               ***          “GUYS!” I walked back into Jack’s house, and slammed the door. “I’VE GOT N-NEWS!!!”          Mike with his slicked back hair now messed up, came sliding(literally) in front of me, his eyes wild. “Tilly! You’re back with news! What is it?!”          Adam came walking calmly and stood next to him. “How do you even stutter when you yell?”          I cocked my head a bit. Well, that was random. “Kimberly said y-yes.” Mike jumped into the air, whooping. “YES! YES! THANK YOU, TILLY!!!!!” Then, he ran off, supposedly upstairs.          I just shook my head, and turned to Adam. “He really n-needs to break up with M-m-megan. Oh yeah, and K-kimberly wants a d-date with you.”          His jaw dropped to the floor. “WHAT?! KIMBERLY, THE QUEEN OF THE SCHOOL WANTS A DATE WITH ME?! A BASIC NOBODY?! WHAT THE FU—”          I covered his mouth. “Language, Adam! Or I’ll w-wash out that mouth of yours with s-soap! And yes, Kimberly w-wants a date with you. N-now, if I were you, I’d go g-get ready for a p-party.”           “Party? What party?” Jack and Tom walked into my sights, and both were confused. If you guys had been part of the conversation, you’d know, right?           “Kimberly a-agreed to the invite to her p-party.” I smiled. “She said that we should all g-go.”           “Really?” Jack raised an eyebrow. He opened his mouth to say some more, but there was a sudden crash from upstairs. “Oh dear, I hope Mike’s not raiding my closet again.”            He quickly hurried off, with Adam behind him, who was muttering something about a tux. No, don't where a tux, Adam. That’s not a good idea. Tom and I became the only ones that were still standing there. Trying to reduce the awkwardness, I bent down to tie my sneakers up, and then got up to take my jacket off. Tom just stood there, not knowing what to do.           “So, we’re going to the party, huh?           “Y-yeah.” I smiled a bit, before moving to go towards the living room. He followed me in.           “I should probably go get ready.” He nodded a bit, but I felt like he was more asking me if he should go get ready.           “M-maybe you should.” I nodded a bit. He turned around to go upstairs, and I turned around to get my stuff because I needed to get ready for the party. I walked towards the door, and I literally felt his eyes dig a hole in me, as I walked pass, but I did my best to ignore it. Just as I reached the front door, he spoke.           “Tilly, wait.” I turned to look at him.           “Y-yeah?”           “Doyouwanttogotothepartywithme?”          I chuckled a little. “I-I’m sorry.”          He let out a breathe. “Would you like to go to the party with me?”          I smiled. “I thought you’d n-never ask.”                                                         ***          I looked in the mirror at myself. I didn’t look half bad. The emerald green dress I’m wearing, sort of highlights my eyes but, also clashed a bit with my red hair. I had applied a bit of makeup, not too much, because I’m not that type of girl, and my hair was in a loose braid. I guess I’ll be fine. Sneaking out of my room, I made sure that my parents didn’t see me, and when I got outside, I made a run for it. As fast as I could in heels, anyway. Which really wasn’t that fast. When I got to Jack’s house(yes, the guys are hanging there again), I was out of breathe, and I honestly think I ruined my hair. I patted it down, and tucked in some loose strands, before knocking on the door. It took a while for them to answer, but I heard them thundering down the stairs.          It was Adam who opened the door, and dang, he looked snazzy. “Tilly?”          I ducked my head a bit. “Y-yeah.”          “I almost couldn’t recognise you!” He broke out in a smile. “Tom’s gonna lose his shi—”          “Language!” I rolled my eyes. “W-what is with you and s-swearing today?”          He lead me inside, and all the guys were in the living room. They looked slightly fancy, but none were wearing a tux, unlike Adam. They all took one look at me and did a double take. “Tilly? Is that you?”          I sighed. Why is everyone asking me that? “Yes, it’s m-me.”          Tom stood up and his face was priceless. His eyes were bigger than watermelons, and his mouth was wide open. I’ve got to say, he didn’t look that bad himself. He was wearing a dress shirt with no tie(thank goodness), and his normal jeans. I could tell he tried to brush his hair, but it didn’t work out, because his light brown hair still stuck out, all over. “Y-you look nice, T-t-t-tilly.”          I smirked. “Catching on to my s-s-s-stutter, Tom?”          The guys laughed as Tom turned tomato red, and I bit back a laugh. Mike threw his hands up dramatically. “You guys, come on! Stop flirting! Some of us actually need to get to our dates, you know?”          Me and Tom ended up walking to the party, because the others were taking their sweet time. We walked in a comfortable silence.          “So are you excited?” He looked at me, and smirked.          “F-for what?”          “The party, what else?”         “Y-yeah. It’s actually my f-first party ever s-since I reached my t-teenager years.”          “Really? Well, I’m honoured to have you spend your first party with me.”           “I’m glad my f-first party is w-with you.” I smiled, and we walked on in peace.                                                            ***           Lights flashing. Music blaring. People dancing around like they’re animals. So this is my first party.           Tom walked over to me, with drinks in his hands, and offered one to me.       “Want one?”            I scrunched up my eyebrows. “W-what is it?”            He shrugged. “Not sure, but it’s really good!”


           “Nah, I’m g-good.”            “Suit yourself.” He immediately drank both, one close after the other.            “Hey, do you want to get out of here?”            “Sure, why not?” I was tired of the music anyway. “Hang on, l-let me go tell J-jack.”            I slipped through the crowd, looking for Jack. When I finally found him, he was off in a corner, just watching everyone. “J-jack!”
 He looked towards me, and got up from his position. “Tilly. How’s it going?”           “M-me and T-t-tom are gonna g-go somewhere.” I gestured towards the door. “Tell the others.”           I turned around to go, but he quickly grabbed my hand, and turned me around. “Don’t go with Tom. That’s not a good idea. You don’t know what he’s gonna do. Don’t go, Tilly. Listen to me, your friend. Don’t go.”          “W-what’s wrong with y-you?”          “Nothing! I just want you to be safe!”          “K-keeping me away f-from my friend, is keeping me s-safe?”          He shook his head, and sighed. “Why can’t you just listen to me?          I tried to pull my hand away from him, but failed. How dare he talk that way about Tom! He was his friend! “Y-you don’t know what you’re t-talking about. You’re his friend. You shouldn’t t-talk that way about him.”          “The only friend I’m seeing right now, is you, and I’m trying to help you.”          “Help me? From what? Right now all I see, is you trying to stop me from having a good time! But guess what, Jack?! I’m my own person!” My hands were shaking from rage, and suddenly, my vision went red from anger.          Jack suddenly let go of me, and stumbled back. My vision went back to normal, and I saw Jack kneeling on the floor, clutching his nose. My knuckles were bloody, and so was his face.          Jack got to his feet, hands still holding his nose, but his eyes were hard. “Alright. Suit yourself, Tilly. It’s your choice. Me or him. You decide. But remember, all actions have consequences.”           With that, he walked away, leaving me standing there with his words echoing around in my head. All actions have consequences. What did he mean? I let a breath out. If he was going to turn on his friend, then he can do that. I’m gonna stand by Tom’s side. I brushed myself off, and left to find Tom. He was standing by the door, with his jacket on his arm, and he was holding mine for me. “How did it go?”           I shook my head. “I d-don’t want to t-talk about it.”          So we didn’t talk about it. He took my hand and led me to……..I actually don't know where it was, but it wasn’t that far from the party. It was an old abandoned building with broken windows, and some of them had black tarp covering them. Basically, it was plain creepy. We walked in, and I took a look around. There were empty and smashed bottles around, and graffiti all over the walls. What an aesthetically made place. Tom walked into the middle of the room, and spread his arms around. “What do you think?”        I smiled tightly. “Aesthetic.”        “Really?” He rose an eyebrow, and smirked. “Aesthetic?”        “Y-yeah, I g-guess.”         “Alright.” He nodded. “So what do you want to do?”         “I-I don’t know. What d-do you want to d-do?” I shrugged.         “How about, we let some steam out  ?” He smirked, and went to a corner of the room. He pulled off the cover of a box, and got out a box. “How about something to blow off some steam?”          I squinted my eyes. What was he holding? Is that— “Spray paint? And what’s in that bottle?”          “Graffiti your initials on the wall, and we can celebrate.”          “Celebrate what?”          “Us.”          “Us?”          “Yeah, us. Together.”          I thought about it, and nodded. “Sure, why not.”          I grabbed a bottle of green spray paint, and went to a blank space of the wall. I raised it up, and was going to start with a T, but paused, and started with an A instead.         “A. C.? I thought it was Tilly Crawford.”         I shook my head. “Its A-ashley. Ashley C-crawford, but only my d-dad and stepm-mom call me that. You guys know me as T-tilly, though.”          “Why? Where’d you think of Tilly?”         “My mom d-died a few weeks before I turned 6, and she used to c-call me Tilly.”           “I’m sorry.”          “D-don’t be.” I smiled tightly. “It’s not your f-fault. It was s-simply cancer.” He nodded, and we stood in silence, looking at our artwork. It wasn’t half bad; it was simple but fancy as well. A.C.+T.H. Ashley Crawford and Thomas Hall.          “So, why don’t you like to be called Ashley?”          “I’m sorry, I-I don't want t-to talk about i-it.” Sighing, I faced him, and held my hand out. “S-so how about b-blowing steam o-off?”                                                          ***            Red and blue lights flashed in my face, and my vision was blurry. My neck hurt, and I was lying in an awkward position. I blinked multiple times, and sat up, still a bit groggy. I looked around for Tom, but he wasn’t in sight. The room was a mess, though. All the windows were broken, and broke bottle pieces were all over the place. I slightly remember breaking the bottles on the pieces, but what was with the windows? I got to my feet, and stumbled to the side but held the wall, which supported me. People, walked into the room with their arms in front of them, or were they holding something? “Miss, please step forward with your arms on your head, slowly.”           My face was probably full of confusion, but I did it anyway. One person came over to me, and held my arms behind my back, and I felt the cold, metal surface of the handcuffs on my wrist. What is going on? “Ashley Crawford, you’re under arrest for trespassing and vandalism. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will be used against you.”           “U-under arrest? W-w-w-why?” They didn't answer me, but just kept walking me towards the entrance. When I got outside, there were crowds gathered around the building. Squinting my eyes at the crowd, I recognise a head of light brown hair, and a set of eyes as green as the forest across my house. Thomas. “Tom! T-tom!!”           The officers just kept pulling me across the pavement, nearer and nearer to the police car. I kept calling out to Tom, but he didn’t answer. All he did was smirk, and cock his head at me. I was shoved in the car, but I still struggled against my restraints. What was going on? Why did Tom just stand there? And why was I being arrested? It seemed that no answers was going to be provided, but I don’t think I really needed it. I was messing around with Tom; I pass out; he’s gone; the place was chaotic; I'm arrested; I see Tom, yet he doesn’t answer me. I knew what it meant, what happened. But I don’t want to admit it. Soon enough, we reached the police station; I was escorted out of the car, and into the station. There, I was put into a cell, next to some other guy that had long hair and tight leather pants. I backed as far away from him as possible. The door slammed, and I turned around. There he was, again. Tom.          “Hey, Tilly.” He walked in front of my cell. “Or should I say, Ashley?”          “D-don’t call me that.” I slammed my palms against the bars. “H-how are you e-even in here? H-help me! You know I-I didn’t do it, h-help me!”           All he did was shake his head. He sat down on the bench across my cell, and looked at me. “Sorry, can’t do that. You see, Ashley, my friends and I go there, and we would rather not get caught, you know? Now, when you came along, that was our opportunity. You could just carry all this blame, and we could continue. The hiding would end for us.”          I didn’t know what to say. “So, M-mike, Adam, you, J-j-jack; it was all f-fake?”          “I guess. But not Jack. He didn’t like lying to you, and he warned you, remember? Last night, he told you not to come. You just didn’t listen.”           It all came crashing down on me. Mike, Adam and Tom had always been lying to me? “So you’ve b-been lying to me.”           “You could say that.” He shrugged, and got up. “Well, you should have listened to Jack. You really should have.”            As he walked out, I sat down on the floor. Jack’s words rang around my head again. All actions have consequences. He was right. I should have listened; I never shouldn't have trusted Tom. If I had, I wouldn’t be alone right now.            I’m all alone.

My children's book didn't end up to really be much like a "children's book". It was a lot more like something I read when I was around 8, and because I was quite fond of reading; I read at a higher level, and usually were about more mature subjects. In my own opinion, i did a pretty good job with the plot line, and the lesson i was supposed to teach; all actions have consequences, but it does seem a bit more mature for little kids. In a way, i did hint that she might've been drinking alcohol, and had somewhat abusive parents, which is in no way, appropriate for an 8 year old to read. In some ways, I do regret the things I put my character through, but I had a hard time showing whatever it was through other forms, that through what I knew best; more mature topics. Come to think of it, I could have talked about how a kid stole his friend's stuff, and ended up being punished for it. I think back then I thought it was my best work was because I put a lot of detail into it. The amount of details I put in showed a lot of emotions that were played with in the story.

[chuffyfan87]

Growing Pains. Part 1a (NSFW)

Cowritten with @disastrousintention. Sequel to Hiding. Set appropriately six years after the end of that fic.

-x-

It was Christmas morning in the Fairhead household but it wasn't just any Christmas - today was special for another reason. Christmas meant it was also the twins' birthday. It was a special birthday for the girls, they’d finally hit the age of thirteen.

Despite now being teenagers they still got up at the crack of dawn, running upstairs and banging on their parents' bedroom door.

"Mum! Dad! Wake up!"

“Urgh!” Charlie groaned loudly as he rolled over and cuddled Duffy’s naked body, “Girls! Its... 6am!”

"But it's our birthday!" Tilly replied excitedly.

“I know but your mum’s nice, warm and naked.”

“Urgh, Dad that’s gross!” Lottie replied, pulling a face.

"Charlie!" Duffy gasped.

“We’re gonna go back to our room, we’ll give you ten minutes to finish whatever you’re doing.” Tilly and Lottie went back to their room.

"They'll be very disappointed to know that I'm just going to go back to sleep!" Duffy chuckled, fluffing her pillow.

Charlie's hands roamed her body, “Just sleep?”

"I was up late last night helping Santa unload his sack." She giggled before stretching like a cat.

“And not just the one on his back either, I seem to recall.” He smirked, his hands cupping her breasts. “Five minute quickie?”

"Oh you're such a romantic!" She giggled as she rolled onto her back.

He moved over the top of her and was about to enter her when the door handle began to rattle. “Mummy!” It was Paul.

"That lock was the best idea we ever had!" Duffy chuckled as she moved to get up. She grabbed her nighty from the floor and threw it on before going to see what Paul wanted. "Morning sunshine!" She smiled at the six year old.

“Certainly was.” Charlie began to get changed, throwing on some pyjama bottoms and his dressing gown.

Paul smiled at his mum, “Santa been?”

"He has, shall we see what he got you?" She asked, taking her dressing gown from the hook behind the door.

“Lots of toys.” Paul replied with a giggle.

"Just what we need - more toys!" Duffy chuckled.

“More toys!” Paul grinned and dived towards the stairs. “Everyone awake!! Everyone up!!” He began to shout.

"Paul! Shush!" Duffy urged but it was too late. The twins and Oli came bounding out to join them.

“It’s our birthday!” The girls loudly declared.

"Now you're both the same age as me again." Emily grumbled sleepily as she joined them all on the landing.

“Cheer up Em! Won’t be for long.” They playfully nudged each side of their sister.

"Where are Jake and Louis?" Oli asked, noticing that his big brothers hadn't joined them.

“Here.” They both grumbled as they came out of their rooms, rubbing their eyes and yawning.

“It’s far too early!” Louis complained.

"Its alright for Peter, I bet he's still asleep in his flat right now." Jake grumbled.

“Doing god knows what with girls!” Louis laughed loudly.

"Boys!" Duffy chided.

“Sorry.” Louis replied with a smile.

"Peter will be joining us for lunch later. Alone as far as I'm aware." Duffy replied pointedly.

Charlie knew Peter was seeing someone, well several girls in fact. He’d heard the rumours.

Whilst at uni Peter had thrown himself headfirst into the social aspects of life away from home. Despite this he had still graduated well and was now working full time.

And Charlie couldn’t have been prouder of the fact he’d graduated in Chemical Engineering and was doing a job he loved. “Come on then rugrats, let’s go and see what Santa’s brought.”

The lounge was full with stacks of presents each wrapped in a different colour of paper with a name tag on the top to indicate the recipient.

“Santa did good.” Charlie replied as he lent against the door.

"He did very good indeed." Duffy winked.

Charlie kissed Duffy’s cheek as they moved to sit on the sofa and watched the children fight for the presents.

What had taken hours to buy, wrap and stack descended into chaos in a matter of minutes!

The girls whistled, causing everyone to stop arguing.

Jake stared in amazement at his youngest sisters. Who knew they could whistle that loud?!

“Can we dismantle this pile a lot quieter?” Tilly asked.

"Since when did you not like noise?" Emily asked, her eyebrow raised in perfect imitation of her mother.

“When it gives me a headache.” Tilly answered back. Only for Emily to roll her eyes, once again in Perfect imitation of her mother and response with a mutter, “God thats got to be a first.”

"Emily be nice." Duffy smiled, shaking her head indulgently at Tilly.

Emily pouted. “Ok mama.”

Reaching behind the sofa Duffy then handed a wrapped package to Charlie. "Merry Christmas handsome."

Charlie smiled as he took hold of the present, “I may have forgot to buy you one.” He teased.

She stuck her tongue out at him and turned back to watch the children, pretending to be in a huff.

The children couldn’t stay in a huff for long and soon it was all forgotten about as they opened their presents. Charlie took the wrapping paper off his present.

"I hope you like it. I wasn't really sure what to get you."

“I’ve got everything I ever need.” He smiled brightly.

"Your legendary charm won't save you if you really haven't gotten me a present!" Duffy giggled.

“Of course I’ve brought you a present. Would I not?” He kissed her cheek.

"Where is it then?" She pouted playfully.

He whispered something rude into her ear that caused them both to laugh.

"You wouldn't?" She giggled.

“Is that a challenge, Mrs Fairhead?”

"Sounds like one to me!"

He smirked. “You’re on.”

"Oh I'm looking forward to this!"

He chuckled softly.

A little while later the Christmas presents were all unwrapped and the twins were begging to open their birthday presents.

“Go on then, knock yourselves out kiddos.”

"Woohoo!" Tilly and Lottie yelled with excitement.

The girls began to open their birthday presents. There was a series of delighted shrieks and giggles as the girls tore open their birthday presents.

“Yes! Mum, dad, thank you so much!”

"We got the right thing then?" Duffy asked with a smile.

“Yes!”

"Phew! I nearly sent your dad to get it but decided better of it." Duffy giggled.

“Dad would’ve got the wrong one.”

"More than likely." Duffy teased, nudging her husband playfully.

“Well, that’s just rude.” Charlie answered and pouted.

Seeing his dad's face Oli ran over and gave him a cuddle.

Charlie picked up his son and hugged him tightly, “Love you.” He said quietly.

"You're the best daddy!" Oli grinned.

Charlie's heart wanted to burst. “I’m glad you think so, little man.”

"Santa got me a remote control car daddy!" Oli continued excitedly.

“Did he?” Charlie grinned, “How did he know you wanted one of those?”

"I wrote it in my letter!" Oli replied giggling.

“The letter you sent to Santa?”

"Yeh! You were there when I wrote it daddy!"

"Funny that!" Louis smirked.

“Was I? I don’t remember you writing a letter to Santa.”

"Daddy you're so silly!"

Charlie began to tickle Oli gently.

As always it took longer to tidy up the mess made my unwrapping the presents than it did to unwrap them in the first place.

As he looked around the living room at every single child, bar Peter, Charlie found himself feeling emotional. He was so lucky to have such a wonderful family!

Though they often fought and teased each other it was clear that kids loved each other deep down. All the children, even Louis, had grown closer the older they’d got.

Leaving the children to play with their presents Duffy headed into the kitchen to make a start on lunch.

Charlie crept in the kitchen behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Hello again, gorgeous.”

"Have you come to help or distract me?" She giggled.

“Let me think.” His tongue ran against her earlobe, “Distract. Definitely distract.”

"Lucky I've gotten used to your distraction methods isn't it?"

“Well after x amount of years, I’d like to think so.”

"I'm not even going to dignify that by giving you the right number!" She shook her head indulgently at him before leaning back into his embrace as his hands started to wander.

“Twenty six years officially, isn’t it?” His hands moved towards her breasts.

"That's how long we've known each other yes."

“And you’re still just as sexy.”

"Do we need your eyes testing again?" She teased.

“No.” He cupped her breasts, “You are so sexy! You haven’t changed.”

"Hmm, I'll just have to take your word for that." She smiled as she arched her back slightly into his touch.

“Yes you will.” His hands moved from her breasts and slightly undid her dressing gown, his hands going under her nightie. “Would appear Charlie Jr still finds you incredibly gorgeous too.”

She wiggled her bottom against him. "He does indeed."

He groaned feeling her bottom wriggle. “I’d bend you over this counter and screw you right here.” He whispered in her ear.

"I'm not sure the kids would appreciate that!" She laughed.

“Probably not.”

"Shame coz I like the idea very much." She mused, grinning.

“We could always sneak off for ten minutes."

"You are a bad man..!" She purred.

“And you, Mrs Fairhead, are a bad, bad woman.”

"You wouldn't want me any other way."

“No. That’s true.”

Despite Charlie's best efforts to distract her Duffy managed to eventually get the dinner prepared and cooking.

Everyone had just about finished getting washed and dressed when Peter arrived to join them late in the morning.

Emily opened the door, “Thought I could smell you.” She said to Peter.

"And its lovely to see you too Emmy!"

She hugged her brother, “Nice to see you! You look well. Got a girlfriend yet?” She laughed as she began to move into the hall.

"Who are you? Mum?" Peter teased.

“Narr, not that old.” Emily laughed.

"Excuse me young lady?! What was that?" Duffy remarked as she entered the hallway. "Peter!" She grinned, pulling her eldest son into a hug.