#every time I look at the extremely limited 5 color options I cry

[noxith-sky]

One of the biggest things I hate about the dragonflight dragons is the lack of color variance. Like damn. I know you got color coded flights, but you couldn't make 3 different red shades?

No kinda purple option for black dragons?

Why is wing color locked to body color?

No shiny or glossy scale options for a more metallic look for the bronze?

No Yesra inspired green option with purple belly?

[johannesviii]

Top 12 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2013

The best year in a trio of awesome years for hits. So awesome, in fact, I had to leave several excellent songs out of the list, even with two additional slots, and limit the list to songs I actually put on my mp3 player at one point or another.

What’s that? People usually call it a bad year? Well screw them.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

The year I stopped working in Paris, found a job closer to home that finally made me feel helpful in the grand scheme of things, and I finally had more free time. Goodbye daily trains. I also went to some concerts! This never happened before.

2013: also the year when just about every band and artist I liked decided to make a good album. Except Depeche Mode. Depeche Mode made Delta Machine. It wasn’t great. But, uh, let’s see, Placebo made Loud Like Love (with the fantastic A Million Little Pieces), VNV Nation made Transnational, Daft Punk made Random Access Memories... Nine Inch Nails came back with Hesitation Marks, which is pretty great with a couple of fantastic songs. Lady Gaga made the vastly underrated ArtPop! Even Eminem made a pretty decent album! Eminem! In the year of our lord 2013! And The 1975 made their debut album. They would eventually become one of my favorite bands of the 2010s, but not yet, though. And Indochine redeemed themselves by releasing Black City Parade, their absolute best album of the decade.

However, despite Indochine’s excellent effort and the return of Nine Inch Nails, the album of the year, at least to me, was Kveikur by Sigur Rós. At that point, I had been following their stuff for ten years, and this album still blew my goddamn mind. It’s so heavy and dark and so different from what they had been doing since Agaetis Byrjun. It’s loud and textured and industrial and yet, there’s so much light above the dark. They out-NIN’ed Nine Inch Nails. There isn’t a single track I don’t love on this album. It’s their best one in my humble opinion.

As far as unelligible songs go, boy, where do I start. Uh. Copy of A and Came Back Haunted (Nine Inch Nails), certainly, A Million Little Pieces (Placebo) as I already mentioned, Memoria and College Boy (Indochine - I’m actually shocked they aren’t on the French top 100), Chocolate by The 1975, and most infuriating of all, Castle of Glass by Linkin Park, which is imho their best song of the 2010s. Oh well.

But there’s still a shit ton of stuff which was elligible but didn’t make the list. Here’s a lot of honorable mentions. There were like ten more of them initially, mind you.

Sirens Call (Cats On Trees) - You know how in just about every top ten post I’ve made so far, there’s a song where I’m like “if I had better taste this would be higher”? This is this song for 2013.

Don’t You Worry Child (Swedish House Mafia) - Catchy but borderline annoying. Still very good.

Counting Stars (One Republic) - This is so happy and catchy. More songs like this nowadays, please.

I Cry (Flo Rida) - Still elligible. Still great. Still not on the list.

Ho Hey (The Lumineers) - Same thing here, sadly.

Animals (Martin Garrix) - I called Bangarang from the previous list a perfect stim song, and this is in the same ballpark. Not as good, but great shapes and colors all around.

Berserk (Eminem) - That song has a lot of really bad lines, but also a lot of much needed energy, it’s a ton of fun, and I love the “say f█ck it before you kick the bucket” part of the chorus. I was so glad to hear Eminem having fun again. Would certainly have made the list in a more mediocre year. Not the most infuriating thing I had to leave out of the list, though.

Radioactive (Imagine Dragons) - THIS IS IT THE APOCALYPSE OH WOHO no I don’t have anything intelligent to say, it’s just great.

Best Song Ever (One Direction) - This is my favorite song from that band. It might be because it sounds suspiciously like Baba O’Riley. If you think I’m gonna complain about people ripping off good songs, please check my entry about I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas a few top 10s before this one.

Wait. Waiiit. What if the “best song ever” they can’t remember in the lyrics WAS Baba O’Riley?? Wouldn’t that be the best meta song ever? What do you think? I mean, that one could indeed claim the title of best song ever.

Get Lucky (Daft Punk) - I know. I know. But I couldn’t put it on the list. It’s not my favorite song from the album, it was overplayed, and even if it’s extremely good it stays roughly at the same level for the entirety of the song. I love it, but I had to draw the line somewhere and cut the list. I didn’t want to make another top 15.

Carry On (fun.) - This was the last cut from the list. It was a really painful one. Not my favorite song from them, but still very, very good.

There’s been lists where I had to put filler. If I had to put actual grades to them, some songs I put on some lists would get a 6/10 or even a 5/10 for really bad years (looking at you 1990). Sometimes, I had to put stuff I’d grade 7/10 as high as #3.

If I had to grade this 2013 list according to my personal taste in music, #12 would get an 8/10, #11 would get a 9/10, and everything in the top ten would either be a 9,5 or a 10. No joke. That’s how good that year was for hits.

Let’s go.

12 - My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light’Em Up) (Fall Out Boy)

US: #40 / FR: Not on the list

There you have it. Three songs from a band I consider pretentious asshats ended on my lists. Including this one, in a year where I decided to severely limit my options for songs. And at the time? I thought it was just an okay song, way too slow but okay. Not great. At all.

It took it about three whole years to grow on me, and it also took me a while to actually know what it was about, and as I said previously, framing is everything ; knowing this song basically said “we’re back, and we’ve changed, and you’re not gonna like it so you’re gonna feel betrayed and you’re gonna burn your old posters, and in the end you’re also gonna betray us” makes it a lot, lot better. I especially love the “Burn everything you love then burn the. ashes” line with the weird pause for emphasis.

It just goes stomp, stomp, stomp. It’s heavy. You can’t dance to it. You can’t even have fun while listening to it. But you can certainly stomp along, and feel angry, and, yes, betrayed, and three years after 2013, I certainly needed that kind of song. A lot. You know exactly why.

11 - Burn (Ellie Goulding)

US: Not on the list / FR: #54

I discovered Doctor Who at the very, very end of 2013, and for some reason I associate this song with Martha’s journey during the year that never was at the end of S3, trying to convince the entire Earth to fight back against the Master. That’s all I have to say about this song. It’s great.

10 - Instant Crush (Daft Punk ft Julian Casablancas)

US: Not on the list / FR: #26

So yep, Get Lucky isn’t my favorite song on Random Access Memories, and thank you French charts for allowing me to put this one on the list instead.

Like a ton of people, I couldn’t figure out what the chorus was, apart from a couple of isolated words, and that felt exactly like being 10 and trying to decipher songs with my limited English. And then I checked the lyrics, and they were mostly variations on “I don’t want to be alone” and they rhyme “go” with “go”, so, uh, nothing of value was lost that day. And it still sounds fantastic.

9 - Applause (Lady Gaga)

US: #37 / FR: #66

Yes, there’s some really stupid shit in the lyrics and the theme of the song itself isn’t particularly inspiring, but that chorus is a happy burst of fuzzy bright angular shapes, and it’s so energetic it feels like you could phase through walls by sheer force of will while listening to it. It would be even higher if the lyrics were better, I swear.

8 - Papaoutai (Stromae)

US: Not on the list / FR: #4

And the boss of cleverly written hit songs strikes again. Pretty sure that one, like Alors On Danse, is well known even if you don’t speak French. As I understand it, apparently French teachers like to use it in class. But yeah, just in case: it’s a song about his absent father. My favorite part:

Un jour ou l'autre on sera tous papas (One day or another we’ll be dads) Et d'un jour à l'autre, on aura disparu (And one day or the next, we’ll be gone) Serons-nous détestables? (Will we be despicable?) Serons-nous admirables? (Will we be admirable?) Des géniteurs ou des génies (Parents or geniuses) Dites-nous qui donne naissance aux irresponsables? (Tell us who birthes irresponsible people?) Ah, dites-nous qui, tiens (Ah, tell us who ; weird) Tout le monde sait comment on fait des bébés (Everybody knows how to make babies) Mais personne ne sait comment on fait des papas (But nobody knows how to make dads)

And it’s also horribly catchy. And it was kind of a meme here. It was everywhere. I’m surprised it wasn’t even higher than that on the French year end top 100.

7 - Underwater (Mika)

US: Not on the list / FR: #70

Why do I love this song so much even though I usually hate songs like that. This is the kind of romantic bullshit Robbie Williams does, and for the record I absolutely hate Angels, and Underwater even sounds a bit like Angels, and it also has the same kind of corny central metaphor. So. Why do I love Underwater again? How can I justify this? I’ve got no clue.

We don’t deserve Mika.

6 - I Need Your Love (Calvin Harris ft Ellie Goulding)

US: #56 / FR: #51

By now you must all be extremely tired of reading me describing songs in visual ways but this song is the sound equivalent of some sort of light show mixed with Dance Dance Revolution patterns. It’s incredibly kinetic and full of joyful, glittering energy, and I love it so goddamn much.

As a 90s kid who loved eurodance, I’m incredibly grateful this kind of music still exists and is still charting.

5 - Treasure (Bruno Mars)

US: #30 / FR: #23

Speaking of nostalgia. Well, not really, since I wasn’t born in the era this is trying to mimic, but still. I don’t have anything to say about this, apart maybe from the fact this is the song that finally made me like Bruno Mars.

4 - Hey Brother (Avicii)

US: Not on the list / FR: #18

I already mentioned how much I loved Avicii’s music when I briefly talked about Levels, and Hey Brother is even better. As you might know I have a little brother and as it is often the case with siblings we fought a bit but we also shared a lot of things, and games, and weird private jokes, and yeah that song can occasionally make me cry a fair bit if I’m being honest.

Also, it’s kind of my main theme song for Charley and C’rizz, so, yeah, it’s just another layer of Feelings(tm).

3 - I Will Wait (Mumford & Sons)

US: #52 / FR: Not on the list

As you might have noticed, there’s one genre that is conspicuously absent from my lists as far as the US hit songs are concerned, and that’s country. I’ve got nothing against country music, I just rarely find it visually interesting. Now I do like folk rock on the other hand, but its big era is long gone, and it’s quite rare to hear anything from it in the charts nowadays. I liked Ho Hey by the Lumineers, but I always thought it was a little bit too slow.

And then I found Babel by Mumford & Sons at the library, gave it a try, loved it, felt like discovering a modern band version of Bob Dylan with simpler lyrics, and this isn’t my favorite song on the album and it’s still at #3 on this list. Quality, man, just quality.

My favorite song from the album is Lover of the Light, by the way.

2 - Can’t Hold Us (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis)

US: #5 / FR: #8

Sometimes you need angry fight songs, sometimes you need energetic fight songs, and sometimes you need happy fight songs. And when something combines the last two, it’s like you caught a star in a Mario game and you’re f█cking unstoppable.

If Macklemore doesn’t get more hit songs at some point in the near future I’m gonna punch a wall.

1 - Roadgame (Kavinsky)

US: Not on the list / FR: #44

This song has no music video. It was still an enormous hit.

As you may recall, I already said once or twice that I liked to hang out at the disc store after class while I was in highschool and uni, and it still happened regularly after I started to work. Even nowadays, if I had a really, really bad day, there’s a good chance I’ll go there and spend at least an hour there just listening to stuff.

So here I was, one fine (actually bad) day, and this song was playing, and I was mesmerised, and for the first time ever, I felt the need to find a vendor and ask what was playing. I found one and the guy instantly beamed and went “oooooh I picked that album to play it in the store today! :D That’s Kavinsky, he’s great, here, have a listen” but it was already getting late so... I trusted him and basically bought the album blind.

Best decision ever. On top of being one of the best albums of the 2010s, OutRun is a concept album presented as if it was the soundtrack of a movie that never existed, about a young guy getting killed in a car crash in 1986 and somehow fusing with his car mentally and reappearing as some sort of technological zombie in 2006. And Roadgame is one of the best songs on the album if not the best. Well, my favorite song on it is actually Testarossa Autodrive, but you get my point.

I was like “there’s no way this is going to be big”, and I was dead wrong, thankfully. As a big fan of electronic music full of lights and flashes and colors but with dark overtones, I couldn’t be happier about this being one of the sounds of the year. Just fantastic stuff.

It’s 2020, man. Please drop that second album. We’re ready to have our minds blown all over again. Just do it.

Also, thank you random vendor from the disc store.

Next up: I have no idea why some people call 2014 a really bad year for hit songs tbh

[ellieaelious]

Ellie Aelious }{Multiverse OC}{Post Fire Crisis

A/N: Finally complete!!! It was a long road, and took way too long, but it is finally finished! I ended up cutting a lot of things from it that did not have to do with her character, which helped a lot. If anyone has any questions, please feel free to DM me. I’ve been working on her for about fifteen years, and I still don’t have all the kinks worked out, but it’s been a fun road to get here!

This is Ellie after she gains control over the fire realm and the element of fire, all the way through her worlds Armageddon. Ten years pass in the human realm, while over 5,000 pass in the elemental realms. You have the option of choosing what stage of her life you interact with her, or I can toss her at you during a time I believe will best suit our roleplay.

So when you see an x-z that means that depending on the time frame, is dependent on when she looks or acts like X or Z. She will also change and grow in the threads we have.

Credit: Big-Ass Character Sheet by Character-Resources This is going to be what I use from now on for all of my muses, regardless if they are OC or canon. Everyone can get a good idea of them, and it will also help me when it comes to writing, since I won’t have to explain every single thing over and over again.

Verse: Realms series (book series I’m writing) Date: 7/18/2019 Full Name: Ellen Sebastiana O’Donnelly Pronunciation: El-en Sea-bass-tea-ah-na Oh-Don-el-ee Nickname/Alias: Ellie Aelious Meaning: Ellie-Pet form of Ellen or more commonly Eleanor, which itself is of Hebrew origin and comes from the Hebrew element 'el' meaning 'god' and 'or' meaning light, so the name means 'God is my light' or 'God is my candle'. Aelious-The Realmain form of “Aelius” which is a Roman family name which was possibly derived from the Greek word 'ηλιος (helios) meaning "sun".  Origin: Not going to lie. I thought of the name and then the meaning just worked. That’s usually how I pick common names. For other languages, I research them. I seriously thought I made up Aelious, until Google said “Did you mean Aelius. Title: Ruler/Commander, Healer, Priest Pet Name: Aelious is actually a surname and nickname given to her by Cynbel (jfc I gotta do him too). ID Number: AR-24601 Signature: She’s ambidextrous, and before the loss of her left arm was left dominant. She still wrote with her right hand, but her handwriting is very elementary school level. Her robotic prosthetic could write perfectly, however after her arm regrows she is left with a limb that trembles and twitches when she goes to write. It makes her signature almost illegible, and she prefers to initial with her right hand. Gender: Female Gender Role: Very femme and lady like. Orientation: Pansexual/Polyamorous Real Age: Although she was born in 1983, because of the time differences between the human and element realms she is between 137-268 post arm loss, and can be anywhere up to five thousand after her arm regrows. Age Appearance: 21 Birthday: March 10th, 1983 Deathday: Armagaddon, exact date unknown. Birthplace: New York, New York, USA Astrological Sign: Pisces Zodiac Sign: Water Pig Immediate Family:  Legal Guardian: Earnest O’Donnelly (deceased) Mother: Tonalnan (deceased) Father figure: Cynbel Uncle: Dante (DMCverse) Half-Brother: Nero (DMCverse) Adoptive Brother: Peter Jason Quill (GotG) Mother figure: Marina Udonta Distant Family:  Father: Aluk Mal Tuk Grandfather: Shin Kage Grandmother: Eveelyn Ardelian Species: Realmain (I will be posting separately about this race.) Ethnicity: Celtic and Hispanic Blood Type: Formerly O+. She no longer has blood, and instead bleeds a silver liquid. Preferred Hand: Left Facial Type: Diamond Eye Color: Dark brown. White or red when using air and fire abilities respectively. Hair Color: Black Hairstyle: 

Skin Tone: Pale White when using air powers. Dark tan when using fire. Complexion: Clear Makeup: Very light make-up during special occasions. Has started wearing winged eyeliner. Build: Body claim is Samantha Wright

Height: 5′3-5′8 Weight: 538lbs - 598lbs Cup Size: A-C cup Facial Hair: none Shoe Size: US 7 - US 9.5 Birthmarks/scars: A large scar going from her left shoulder, across her chest, and stopping half way to her right. It goes from the base of her neck to the beginning of her cleavage, around to her back. It stops at the nape of her neck and right before her shoulder blades on the left. It’s from when she had her left arm ripped off, along with a good portion of her skin.

After her arm regrows, the scar mostly heals, only leaving a faint outline around her left shoulder.

She has a mole/beauty mark on her left side, right under her bottom lip.

Many faint and small scars pepper her body, visible under a blacklight or bioluminescence given off by plants and insects.

In an alternate timeline, (DmCverse), she has half of her face scarred by an angel’s attack. Her eye is red, and it goes into her hairline, all the way to the back of her head. Distinguishing Features: Her eyes are her most distinguishing feature, able to convey a thousand emotions at once. Because of her empathic ability, if she looks someone else in the eyes, she is not only able to read their emotions, but also alter how they see her.

As she grows older, her eyes convey less innocence, and more of someone who is weary. Although the light has not gone out behind her eyes, it has dimmed significantly from when she first became a ruler.

She always has an innocent appearance about her features, usually appearing dumbfounded by the world around her. It’s not a true reflection of herself, but something that most people see at first glance. Health: She’s very healthy and her diet consists of mostly meat. She works out daily and although she loves sweets, limits them to once a week. Energy: She generates, at the minimum, enough energy to keep two realms and their inhabitants alive. That is around 6-9 billion per realm. This energy is all in reserve, and not accessible for fighting.

Aside from that, in her home dimension she generates enough excess energy to command both air and fire. She is one of the eight strongest beings, aside from angels or demons, and ranks somewhere in the third or forth strongest. Her max power level sees her generating enough energy to destroy a planet the size of her largest realm, twice.

Outside of her dimension, her excess power is diminished by half, and she can only regenerate after sleeping twelve or more hours. Because of this, she uses physical attacks when outside of her own dimension. Memory: Her memories are tied to emotions. The stronger the emotion at the time, the more likely she is to remember the event in detail. She also remembers odd events, like someone mentioning rubberbands. Senses: Her eyesight is well enough she doesn’t need to use a mounted sight on a firearm. She can see for several miles, but cannot see in dim or low lighting.

She can feel vibrations and use them to navigate in the dark as well. This has helped since she began losing her hearing a century ago.

Her sense of smell and taste are better, able to recognize someone’s scent, and develop a taste signature for them as well. This also has the negative affect of smelling something horrible, and also developing a taste signature for it. Fortunately, her nose is not what she breaths out of, so she can avoid this most times.

Her sixth sense, if you will, is extremely high. She can read a persons emotions from the next room, feel the presence of demonic entities, and can hide her own presence from them.

Allergies: Strawberries, birch water, cut grass. Handicaps: 

With her hearing failing, it has been difficult for her to adjust to using vibrations to get around. While she can feel the vibrations of someone talking, she is still not fully able to differentiate between words.

After the loss of her left arm, she suffers from muscle spasms in her left shoulder. Even after her arm regrows, she has painful and powerful muscle spasms. They will often require her to take a moment to collect herself, as she’s almost blacked out from the pain.

Although she’s not mentally slow, because of her time being raised among humans, her actual brain deteriorates whenever she goes back to the human realm. This includes other dimensions that are heavily populated by humans. She will sometimes stare off into the distance or quit speaking, only to act like nothing happened. This is her healing factor attempting to repair the damage.

Highly prone to panic attacks. When she has one, she will find it difficult to breath and begin to disrobe so her lungs can have better access to air. These have lasted up to three days, and she becomes violent when people approach her during them.

She has grotesque visions of hell, and often hears demons whispering in her ear. This can cause her panic attacks, as well as send her into a temporary delirious  state. Dante and Cynbel are the only ones that can calm her down when she gets like this.

Medication: She usually chews on herbs and roots from the nature realm for ailments. She also eats ‘edibles’, a relaxant from the nature realm that has similar properties to marijuana. She eats them in marshmallow form, usually to get high. Phobias: Spiders, water, being alone, the dark, and whispering. Addictions: Salted marshmallows. She will do almost anything for them. Mental Disorders:

Humans call is schizophrenia, while Realmains call it ‘Heaven Sight’. This causes her demonic visions, auditory hallucinations, as well as her anxiety. These have been constant since birth.

She is severally depressed, often on the verge of crying. This is considered a serious mental disorder caused by her high empathy. There is no way to treat it, other than developing apathy.

Style: Ellie’s style is very modest. While nudity is common in the realms, and she is comfortable with it, she covers up completely when outside of her realm. Her military uniform changes, but usually consists of vests, cargo pants, and military boots.

Her formal attire as a ruler ranges from ancient Grecian/Roman robes, to something akin to Elvish dress. It’s the few times she wears dresses anymore.

When she is having a casual day, it’s leggings/jeans and a loose fitting shirt. She does enjoy dressing in flowing garments, and does have a personal tailor that designs her clothing to wear outside of the nine realms. In her later years, she wears more fun things, and sometimes will be seen in her brother’s hoodie and booty shorts if she’s woken up suddenly.

All of her military clothes are white, while her casual clothing changes in color. She does not wear black, as it’s against her vows as a sacred virgin. Grooming: Her hair is always well maintained and braided, only becoming messy in battle. Even then, she is quick to fix it.

After an encounter with a demonic entity later in life, she has kept her hair cut very short, only a few inches long. When questioned about it, she will change the subject immediately.

 As far as other hair goes, because she does not produce pheromones the same way as other mammals, she has little to no body hair to worry about. Posture: Her posture if usually back straight, chest out, chin up, and hands on her hips or crossed. If she is in a more relaxed setting, or not trying to be intimidating, she will let her hip cock to the side and slouch just a bit.

When frightened, she will hunker down and cower, making herself as small as possible.

Gait: She can’t help but have a very bouncy way of walking. Because she is usually just barely levitating off the ground, her motion is very fluid and swaying.

When approaching an enemy or upset, she will have a stalking manner of movement. Her shoulders will be forward, her steps heavy and deliberate, and fists clenched. Coordination: When in a fighting mindset, her reflexes and coordination are topnotch. Very little will get by her, and she is able to dodge bullets, as well as deflect them back to her opponent. It’s taken her almost two hundred years to perfect.

Outside of battle, she has tripped over her own feet. While levitating. She’s merely easily distracted, and doesn’t pay attention to her surroundings unless she has to. Habits and Mannerisms: 

Left over from when her time without her arm, she will often let her left arm fall slack, forgetting it’s her own. This will cause her to bump into things with it.

She wrings her fingers a lot when she is nervous, and bites her bottom lip.

When she is focused on a task, or trying to decipher something, she will whisper to herself, along with moving her fingers like she is slowly typing in the air.

When frightened, she will immediately bite her lips and make her eyes wider. It’s instinctive to attempt to bring out the nurturing side of whoever is frightening her.

She has a habit of lightly touching people without realizing it. It’s often confused for flirting, but it’s only because she is touch starved.

She will pull out a book and read when she feels she is being ignored, purposely ignoring the other when they try to get her attention.

Scent: Spring Jasmine by Wild Spirit Mood: Contemplative is her usual mood when you catch her off guard. She has a lot on her mind, and not a lot of time to herself. She acts happy around others, smiling and laughing, but it’s only because she is replaying old emotions to make other feels better. She is no longer ignorant to the world, and has seen and experienced the darkness it holds. It weighs on her heavily and makes her very tired.

Being an empath, her mood is also determined by those around her. If you’re mad, she’ll be mad. If you’re being rude, she will reflect it back on you. Although she is kind at the core, she will stand up for herself and give you a taste of your own personality. Attitude: She has a very positive and upbeat attitude, despite her circumstances. She always tries to get people to be happy and rally the troops.

She can and does do a 180, and will become angry, and ho boy, whoever is on the receiving end is in for it. She has been called merciless and monstrous in her rage. Stability: Her emotional spectrum is all over the place. As the strongest empath of her world, she is able to feel the emotions of every living thing all at once. As a child, it caused her attempted suicide. And while she has learned to cope, it does become overwhelming.

Her personal emotions can also be affected by someone else. This means, feelings of love may not always be hers. Expressiveness: She is always very open with how she feels. If she is choosing to be distant with someone, it’s a bad sign. When Happy: She will often hum a tune, usually a soft cover of a metal band. She may even do Tai Chi moves or spin if she’s really happy. When Depressed: She’s always in some form of depression, but at it’s worst she will hide herself away to cry in peace. If she does manage to break down in front of someone, it can make her feel worse. Although she no longer cuts herself, she is not above ramming her head into the ground in an attempt to knock herself out. When Angry: When she becomes angry, she will become quiet and stiff. Her movements are quick and deliberate. She is at her most dangerous when angry or upset. Current Residence: She resides in the air realm, but does spend time in the fire realm as she is now the ruler of it as well. Community: The air realms community is very calm and peaceful. Even the soldiers are seen smiling as they go about their day.As their main duty is to pray and rally the troops, it is a very calming place to be.

The fire realm is friendly, but they value feats of strength and often friends will spar in the streets. It’s all in good fun, but takes some getting used to. Family: Ellie’s only living family is adoptive or half related to her. She spends most of her time with either Cynbel or Marina, and then Dante and Nero. Friends: Beau is her best friend, and it’s rare to not see them running around together.

After going through training with Ansinna, she has become best friends with her, and appointed her as a personal guard. Enemies: Her father, demonic creatures, and those who would hurt the innocent. Bosses: She is her own boss, answering to no one but a higher ranking angel or the Lord. Followers: All inhabitants of her realms and army answer to her. Heroes: Marina, being a strong woman is one of her idols. Most of the women in her life she aspires to be like. Aside from that, mentors from other dimensions. Rivals: Her Dark Saer alternate, as well as the demon Heretic. Pets/Familiars: The last chimera of her dimension, and she managed to tame it with a stick of beef jerky. It’s a shape shifter, and is usually in the form of a snake with rabbit ears. It wraps loosely around her neck, or takes residence in her cleavage. Equipment:

Weapons-Air

Ellie’s main weapon is a grey staffed naginata. It has a wider blade on one end, and her dagger bladed fan on the other. She is able to separate it at the middle for two weapons. It is an extension of her soul, and so long as she has the will to live and fight, it is unbreakable and unable to be wielded by any other. When another does decide to wield it, they will begin to gasp for breath before the oxygen is pulled from their body.

For a time she used one of her mother’s desert eagles. After an understanding came about between Nero and herself, she let it fall into the lake of fire. After this, Dante had her customized guns like his made. She calls them Alpha and Omega. Over time, Dante has taught her trick shots, and her and Nero perform a similar move to ‘Jackpot’ called ‘Fragmented Reality’.

Her custom lever action rifle has a white body with silver, Celtic knot accents. The bullets fired are made by gathering matter, which means the farther the bullet travels, the bigger is becomes. It’s her preferred form of firearm, however she is only accurate within her line of sight. If an enemy is behind her, she is unable to accurately fire at them. Because she shoots from the left, the recoil to her shoulder makes her have to take frequent breaks.

She is trained in a wide variety of weapons, but refuses to use swords. She is also trained to use unconventional weapons, such as household items and the environment.

Weapons-Fire

When she’s finally able to control her fire abilities, her naginata reverts back to her bladed fan. She uses it for defense mostly, relying on her other fire based weapon for offense.

The chain whip allows her to keep enemies at a distance, and control their movement. Should one get too close, she will wrap her whip around them, activating the blades and using it as a medieval styled chainsaw.

Her guns are named vitam et mortem (life and death in Latin) while in her fire form. Vitam has the ability to raise an ally back from near death, while mortem can kill with a single shot.

Her rifle turns into a Day of the Dead themed lever action shotgun called Vespillo (Latin for Undertaker).

Technology-

The nine realms are far more technologically advanced than most other worlds. As such, she has some very useful equipment. One of which is her visor (I will provide references later). It’s a thin piece of crystal that forms across her eyes that acts to protect them, as well as provide an HUD with her stats, as well as information about the area around her. It’s linked to three micro bots that float around the area, allowing her to enter into a third person mode.

Later in life, the visor is replaced by contact lenses that connect through micro wires into the user’s nervous system. This allows the user to non-verbally control what they are seeing, and switch between 1st person, 3rd person, night vision, and HUD.

Before her arm grew back, she had a robotic prosthetic. While it mimicked the look and feel of her original arm, it was still traumatic to use. It was able to detach and move independently to scout an area, attack, and shock an enemy.

If she’s not using her visor or contacts, she does use her IDA. Inter-Dimensional Assistant. It’s a small piece of crystal that holds a super computer, and is wired to her home dimensions mainframe. She’s able to make phonecalls, hack into systems, give someone a physical, X-Ray, produce holograms, and all kinds of neat Sci-Fi stuff.

Recently, after discovering their enemy has been using habitable planets to farm humans, space ships have become a thing. She’s still hesitant about using them, but her current vehicle is able to use collapsible technology to change into a fighter jet, or a short flight space ship.

Accessories:

Tattoos-

On her left arm, after it grows back, is a faint purple outline of her veins.

On her right arm, after retrieving the crown of thorns, it wrapped around her right forearm and embedded into her skin as a tattoo.

Her legs are tattooed with a black background encasing Celtic knots on her left, and Mayan ruins on her right.

Her back has a cross burned into it, going from the base of her neck to her tailbone.

Lastly, on her chest is a black hand print from her mother marking her, over her heart.

Piercings- Only one in each ear.

Trinkets: Star of David necklace and cross earrings. Will occasionally wear bracelets during formal events. Funds: Money has no value in the nine realms. However, the fire realm has diamond rain whenever a volcano erupts, and any gold farmed is used for trade with humans. Her actual wealth, like all other rulers, is immeasurable. She enjoys giving it away, as she does not like the idea of money. Lovers: 

The former ruler of water, Mick, was her first crush. She loved him deeply, and had to hold him in her arms as he died. This pretty much scarred her from developing feelings for men.

Right before the death of her first love, she agreed to marry someone for a peace treaty. After the wedding, she locked herself away and protected herself with a powerful storm. A clone of her was used to kill Mick, and afterwards a very bloody and very quick war broke out, involving the death of her husband.

Cetrion is a former lover. Because of their virtuous nature they both found comfort in each other. It was broken off by Cetrion at the behest of Kronika. It still hurts Ellie deeply.

She has a crush on Leon S. Kennedy, and chooses to stay away from him because of it.

Erron Black gives her confusing feelings. She isn’t sure if she likes him, or wants to shoot him.

Enchantress/June Moone. A former girlfriend while Ellie was coming into power. Although she loved her, the relationship was not good mentally for Ellie and she broke it off.

Jason Todd was a mentor turned boyfriend for a few weeks, before they both realized it wouldn’t work. They are still friends.

Marital Status: Multiship Sex Life: SACRED.VIRGIN. (But I mean...boop her) Type: She is accepting of many types, so long as you are not a bad person. Even then, if you redeem yourself, she can find you suitable. This is not to say she will only date a hero type. She wants someone that is true to themselves, whatever that truth may be.

She is very busy, and will not have time for you 24/7. If she is called off on a mission, it doesn’t matter if you’re cuddling on the couch, on a date, or anything else. Her duty comes first. She won’t want to leave, but she will and apologize later. Her lover needs to be understanding of this.

It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love you, but this is her lifes work. This is what she was created and chosen for. And when the final battle comes, you won’t see her for a long time, if ever again. Turn-Ons: She wants someone that she won’t have to worry about as much. It’s hard to love mortals, so someone that could live as long as her would be preferred. She doesn’t want someone that will worship her, as that can be seen as breaking the commandments of the nine realms, but will appreciate her. They need to be understanding that she is a broken person and not all of her pieces are there, and they’re not coming back.

If she can lay with you while you play with her hair, rub her back, and just be physically there to tether her to the world, it will mean everything to her.

Lastly, someone that will just be kind to her. That she can come home to after a long week, month or some extended period of time and be close to. She doesn’t need anyone that will get tired of waiting for her and leave, as her duties will always come first. Turn Offs: Someone that is cruel to her or others. Disrespectful, tries to change who or what she is. Just don’t be a moist bint. Position: Switch. Sub in her human form, dom in her true form Sub position: The Seashell. She loves to be on her back with her lover’s hands wrapped around her ankles, pushing them back behind her head and into the mattress. Dom position: The Amazon. With a set of hands holding her lover’s knees or ankles, another hand hold their wrists together above their head, and her free hand to explore or choke them. Fetishes: Human Form-

Reassurance/Praising. Either her reassuring her partner or vice versa. Punishment/Desecration. She has a deep seeded desire to be punished, and a dark part of her wants to be desecrated (i.e. her willingly breaking her vow). Biting/Clawing/Marking. Choking. Since she doesn’t have an air passage in her throat, it’s more or less the idea of it. Blood flow can still be cut off to her brain, giving the desired light headed effect. Submissive positions. She enjoys being put into submissive potions over ones where she is the dominate party. Voyeurism. She can turn and her partner invisible, allowing for public places to be a go. She also likes to be watched, and wouldn’t mind if her lover caught her playing with herself.

True form- Breeding. Her main motive is to become impregnated. She’ll want you to finish inside of her. Restrains. Having four arms now, she will want to pin and restrain her partner. Marking. She will bite, claw, suck, anything she can to prove that you are her’s alone. Dominated. Despite being the dominate one, if she is dominated in battle, she will present herself on her knees with her hands held above her head, butt raised to show she submits. Virginity: She still is one. 

Element: Air and Fire. Religion: Realmain, a mix of Christianity and Judaism. Morals: Ellie is a morally upstanding citizen, for her dimension. While her duty is to protect the sanctity of human life, she will kill those that seem innocent if she is ordered to. One of the messier jobs to perform is killing children that are blacklit for death. Because this is seen as holy work, she feels no guilt for it.

She is unable to willfully lie, but whatever someone tells her, unless she knows better, will be her truth. This causes her to be easily manipulated.

While stealing is a huge no, reclaiming lost or stolen goods is acceptable. By any means.

Outside of her dimension, humans are not protected. If it means obtaining her goal or completing her mission, she can and will kill an innocent person. This is only done as a last resort, and she does her best to avoid it. Motivation: From the time she learned of the prophecy, her goal in life has been to lead the virtuous life that would allow her to pass into the dark halls unseen by evil. She knows that she will go through horrible things (such as being raped, crucified, tortured and killed, only to be brought back) but in the end it is worth it. This will allow her to let the angels into the dark halls, and kill Aluk Mal Tuk, the half demon half Realmain that raped her mother. Priorities: The code of the realms is “For Realm, For Ruler, For God” and she lives by this code. She serves her God first, and the duties bestowed upon her by Him, and then her Realm. Relationships, friendships, and anything else are the last thought on her mind.  Philosophy: Ellie sees and feels the absolute worst that humanity has to offer. She feels the suffering of the universe, and takes pity on it. She believes that everything has a reason, even the worst things. In the end, it will all be worth it. Because it has to be, or what was all this suffering for. Etiquette: Ellie has very good etiquette. She was trained by Cynbel in the ways of royalty, and displays respect to almost all races. The more evil races, she will act more animalistic around, since they look down on kindness. Culture: Being from a Hispanic and Celtic background, Ellie enjoys celebrating the holidays and festivals of both. Within reason. She does not practice anything that would be considered idol worship. She practices mostly Jewish and Realmain customs as well.

Main Goal: Keep the world turning until Armageddon is upon her dimension. Even if it kills her. Minor Goals/Ambitions: Protect as many lives, human or otherwise, as she can. Desires: Ellie desires rest. She does not enjoy doing what she does by any means. It causes her great mental anguish to keep pushing herself, but she has to. For her reward, she only wishes to rest. Accomplishments: Freeing herself from her inner darkness, and having her left arm regrow as a reward. Greatest Achievement: Commanding both the fire and air realms. Biggest Failure: Her mother and first love had to die in order for her to begin to fight and defend others. Secrets: She is aware that Cynbel is her father. And while she was upset that he hides this from her, she doesn’t mention it. Regrets: Her suicide attempts. Worries: Failing everyone around her. Best Dream:  Being rewarded not just with rest, but someone that could make her happy. Worst Nightmare: Falling into temptations and being pulled into hell. Or living with her mother. Best Memories: The times she spent with Mick and her friends. Worst Memories: Having her arm ripped off during the battle for Hong Kong. Later in life, when the demon Heretic reveals they molested her, and the memories of the events come flooding back to her. Powers/Abilities: ~Generic/No category~ -Immortality. She can only be killed by a demi god, angel, or another ruler’s weapon. If she dies by other means, she will be reformed in the lake of life. -Super strength. She is able to lift up to ten tons with ease. Anything more and her muscles begin to break down. -Speed. Although not the fastest, she is able to move fast enough to dodge bullets. -Super reflexes. She can block most blows and react quickly to most attacks. -Stamina. Her body does not produce lactic acid, meaning she does not show signs of fatigue and has stamina for weeks. -Her senses are heightened to super human levels, allowing her to perform at her highest levels. -Empathy. She is the strongest empath of her world, emotionally connected to all living beings. She is able to take the emotions away from a being and put them in another, or store them for future use. She can easily read a room and someone’s intent before officially meeting them. She can also distribute and terrifying presence to stun and scare opponents, or produce a calming affect. -A healer by nature, she is a skilled surgeon with years of practice. With her speed, she is able to perform complex operations in little to no time. -She has a vast knowledge of herbal remedies, as well as traditional medicines. -She is immune to all forms of magic, but she herself cannot affect magic things in return. ~Air~ -Ability to completely control and manipulate the air. From creating tornado, to pulling the air out of the cells of a person. She is the embodiment of air, and it bends to her will. -Turn invisible at will. -Teleport by creating a small gust of wind. -Pull oxygen out of a specified area. -Flight and levitation. -Control other air based beings -Place her hand over someone’s mouth to administer CPR. ~Fire~ -Ability to control and manipulate fire and fire based things. Such as lava. -Encase her body is magma rock. -Breath fire. -Engulf her body in fire to protect her. -Command other fire based beings. -Generate enough heat to perform a super nova. Although not as hot, she will explode with enough intensity to destroy a decently sized planet. This causes her to black out for several weeks. -Heal those that have been injured by fire. She can take the wounds upon herself, allowing the person to be completely healed of fire based wounds. ~Holy~ -On touch, she can burn anything of demonic origin. This includes her brother and uncle, who are both part demon. -Using her right hand to calm the person, she can then use her left to reach into someone and pull a demon out by force. -Ability to see a demonic presence, no matter how it hides. She can also see angelic writing, directing her to hide or run. -Enter Limbo and Hell unseen. -Open portals to send demons back to hell. -While imbued with the power of the Lord, no one may sin against her flesh. This means that as long as she has her powers, she is unable to be raped or molested. -Light does not bother her. In fact, she can see perfectly fine in it. If a flash bang were to go off, other than the noise distortion, she would be fine. Origin: Bestowed upon her by the will of the Lord. Her dimension is Christianity based. Source: The source of her powers vary. While she can use hand movements, she mostly stands still and wills her abilities into use. Although some still require a source, i.e. breathing fire. Ability: While her abilities to control air is natural, it took centuries of training to finally accept and control her fire abilities. Later in life, she is adept in all of her powers. Weaknesses:

She is unable to survive in water. If it goes above her hips, she will begin to drown. Her powers do not work while she is wet, in the rain, or humid environments.

Her empath abilities become overwhelming, and it makes it hard for her to function in large groups. The more evil a person is, the harder it is for her to function around them.

While in other dimensions, she is able to die, since she is cut off from her main power source.

If someone drop kicks her in the gut, it will stun her for an extended period of time.

Demi god weapons, angelic weapons, fallen angel weapons, and another ruler are able to permanently kill her.

She cannot see in dim light to darkness. She will be completely blind, and greatly weakened.

Her hellish visions weaken her over time.

Despite feeling someone’s ill intent, she is usually willing to give them a chance.

Immunities: Fire and air based attacks have no affect on her.

Alternate Forms: ~Air Form~ Natural Ellie. This is the form she is always in, also referred to as her human form. She has a more Celtic appearance, pale skin, red lips, dark hair and eyes.

~Fire Form~ Taking on a more Hispanic appearance, her eyes are red, skin a deep tan from being burnt from within, and her hair sprouts red roses. Her attire changes as well, wearing a red cloth corset, dark red jeans and boots, and usually Dia de la muerto make-up. The more she uses her powers, her skin will burn to a crisp, cracking open and revealing the fire burning at her core. She will often have smoke coming from her pores, and cough up lava.

~True Form~ After entering her final life cycle, she gains her true form ability to mate/reproduce. Her skin becomes a light grey, her veins visible and a dark silver underneath. She grows another five inches, and her arms become longer. Her nails are black and pointed, coated in a paralyzing poison.

Her face is more pointed, teeth now sharp and look like they’re made of a silver metal. Her eyes are a swirling mix of greys and white, hair slicked back and bristly. Black and fluffy antenna come from her forehead, like a moth. Black stripes are along her sides and neck, opening up to reveal pheromone producers.

She grows another set of arms under her original, usually holding her staff weapon.

Extra Anatomy: Her lungs are actually pockets attached to the underside of the skin of her torso and back. This means that she breaths through the pores of her skin.

Favorite Colors: Greys, whites, and pastel shades of blue and pink Favorite Animals: Dogs and large wild cats Favorite Mythological Creatures: Chimeras Favorite Places: She has a pocket dimension that is a library, filled with endless books. Other than that, Greece and quiet beaches. Favorite Landmarks: Acropolis Favorite Flavors: Leather, sea salt, and cotton candy Favorite Foods: Shrimp mee hoon and salted marshmellows Favorite Drinks: Blackberry wine, coke, and sarsaparilla. Favorite Characters: Mal and Zoe from Firefly Favorite Genre: Romantic horror Favorite Books: Where the red fern grows Favorite Movies:  Westerns Favorite Games: Chess, even though she’s not that great at it. Dodge ball. Favorite Shows: Firefly, Star Trek, Telanovellas. Favorite Music: Heavy metal, hard rock, classical. Favorite Bands: Asking Alexandria, All That Remains, In this Moment, Flyleaf, and Les Fiction. Favorite Songs: This probably won’t end well by All That Remains, Hopelessly Hopeful by Asking Alexandria, ME!ME!ME! by Teddyloid Favorite Sports: Soccer and the Realmain gauntlet. Favorite Stores: Realmain market places Favorite Subjects: Math and art Favorite Numbers: 100, 34, and 7 Favorite Websites: Doesn’t have any Favorite Words: Bueller, bumble bee, amor Favorite Quotations:  "Lastly, waging war against good people is bad for the soul. This may not seem important to you now, but it's the most important thing I've said."— Joshua Graham Least Favorite Colors: Oranges and yellows. Least Favorite Animals: Domestic cats Least Favorite Mythological Creatures: Nagas, gorgons, Minotaurs, and Pans. Least Favorite Places: Anyplace with a dark history. Least Favorite Landmarks: Eiffel tower Least Favorite Flavors: Fermented tastes, rotten, too sweet. Least Favorite Foods: Eggs, liver, and hot dogs. Least Favorite Drinks: Beer, whiskey, lemon lime soda. Least Favorite Characters: Aeris from FFVII. Any character, male or female, that is overbearing about relationships and tries to force themselves on someone. Least Favorite Genre: Reality Least Favorite Books: Self help books Least Favorite Movies:  Ninja Mime 4 Least Favorite Games: Puzzle games, because she’s not confident in her abilities. Least Favorite Shows: Reality shows Least Favorite Music: Rap/Hip Hop, R&B Least Favorite Bands: Modern hip hop and rap bands. Least Favorite Songs: Dance (A$$) because it’s always playing at strip clubs Least Favorite Sports: Cricket and blood sports. Least Favorite Stores: Outlet malls Least Favorite Subjects: Wood shop, economics. Least Favorite Numbers: 6 Least Favorite Websites: Doesn’t have one. Least Favorite Words: Curse words Least Favorite Quotations:  “I’ll rid the world of each one of you,” he whispered. “Every single one…” ― Zoe Cruz, Beastia Languages: English, fairly good with Mandarin, Greek, Enochian/Realmain, learning Japanese, Yiddish. Accent: She has a heavy Southern accent when she speaks quickly, which is why she’s trained herself to speak slowly and hide her accent. Voice: Low and quiet Speech Impediments: Forgets words easily and will use gibberish as a replacement. Greetings and Farewells:  “Give me you.” -When it’s a close friend she hasn’t seen for a while. “Ellie Aelious, rank ruler, part time healer.” -Military greeting “May your path be illuminated and never darken.” -Formal farewell “I really hope this isn’t a real goodbye, ya know?” -leaving a dimension, possibly for good. State of Mind: “I’m just really tired right now. I can’t really rest, but it’d be really nice if I could.” Compliment: “Wow, you’re really pretty/beautiful!” “You look like you could take me in a fight, to be honest.” “You’re tall. I like that.” Insult: “I hope you have the life you deserve.” “God loves you, even though you make it a might difficult.” “You’re an X.” (often randomly insults people with a noun they’ve just used.) Expletive: “Oh fiddle sticks.” “Gumdrops and holograms!” “God bless America...” “What in the nine realms!” “I’m sure -person- is off somewhere, disappointing the Lord with their actions.” Laughter: She will start with a sputter, and then go into a deep laugh, sometimes even snorting, which makes her laugh even harder. Tag Line: “This is fine. I accept this.” Signature Quote: “I have to do this. I need to do this. I can’t worry about either of our wants, desires, because this is so important. My entire life is leading up to that moment, and I’m not throwing it away because we love each other. If I do, then what was all this suffering for?”

Role: Her role as a ruler means that she is responsible for tens of billions of lives, as well as protecting humans from the evils of the realm of darkness. It is a heavy burden, but if one is to suffer it, why not it be her? Fulfillment: She devotes everything to her position, and has found favor in the eyes of the Lord. She has been blessed that no creature may sin against her flesh, so long as she is imbued with His power. Significance: Because she practices self sacrifice, in her words Armageddon, she will play a crucial role that will determine the outcome of the battle. Aside from that, she has inspired many of her counterparts to go on. Her determination to live and overcome has proved invaluable. Alignment: Lawful Good “The needs of my Lord, outweigh the desires of myself.” -Ellie Comparison: The wind. Ever changing, gentle, but destructive. Symbol: Handprint Song: Under Denver by Asking Alexandria Vice: Carnal desires and blood lust. Virtue: Ellie has taken the vow of Sacred Virgin. This means she will forgo her sexual desires, romances, and pleasure so she may enter into the dark kingdom unseen

Humility and compassion are often associated with her as well. She doesn’t feel she has a very important role, and takes pity on the suffering. Defining Moment: When she crawled her way out of hell, just to bring her mother’s dead body back for burial.

[flutejesus]

ANSWER ALL 100 QUESTIONS Or if not just pick your favorites. Up to you.

CHALLENGE FUCKING ACCEPTEDNgl imma be super impressed if someone actually reads all this1. What is you middle name?like fuck I'm sharing that witchblr might get me 2. How old are you?According to all public government records, 163. What is your birthday?043020014. What is your zodiac sign?Metal snake!5. What is your favorite color?Somewhere on the gradient between sea blue and mint green6. What's your lucky number?Historically, seven, but one of my favorite teachers has hers at two, and that seems to work well for her so maybe I should change it7. Do you have any pets?Yes! A cat (George) and a dog (izzy)8. Where are you from?Vagina 9. How tall are you?5'5"10. What shoe size are you?Clearly you have never had any experience with women's shoes11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?Uhhhhhhh eighthtt???12. What was your last dream about?Huh, i can't remember. Probably school or getting chased, tbh13. What talents do you have?Noooonneeee!!!!14. Are you psychic in any way?I'm really good at guessing, especially percentages, so maybe 😏15. Favorite song?Right now? Dirty love by Kesha. What a mood16. Favorite movie?How to train your dragon, though ragnorak and curse of the black pearl were also really good17. Who would be your ideal partner?What a fucking loaded question 18. Do you want children?Hell no19. Do you want a church wedding?Nope. Too long, pews are gross20. Are you religious?Is there an afterlife?21. Have you ever been to the hospital?Yup! Funny story, I was born in one,22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?Not really. I try not to, as a general ru23. Have you ever met any celebrities?Not that I know of! I like to think that I'm friends with a lot of pre-celebrities24. Baths or showers?Bath me the fuck up25. What color socks are you wearing?None. Probably should tho, it's hell cold26. Have you ever been famous?Briefly! I was featured in a buzzfeed article a while back27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?Gotta pay the bills somehow28. What type of music do you like?ALL29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?not intentionally, but id be down for it30. How many pillows do you sleep with?ALL31. What position do you usually sleep in?curled up on my side. Imagine a fetus32. How big is your house?Idk house sized33. What do you typically have for breakfast?Nothing. I don't eat breakfast34. Have you ever fired a gun?Yup! Thanks grandpa!35. Have you ever tried archery?Many times! There's a range near my house, it's lots of fun!36. Favorite clean word?Emordnilap37. Favorite swear word?FUCK38. What's the longest you've ever gone without sleep?too long 39. Do you have any scars?Yeah, a lot of cool ones!40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?I don't knowwwww!!!! Probably not lol41. Are you a good liar?Hella42. Are you a good judge of character?Hella43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?Nope. I can barely sound American and I was born and raised here44. Do you have a strong accent?Some people think so, I don't hear it45. What is your favorite accent?Russian, by far46. What is your personality type?Intp ftw47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?Bridesmaids dress. Don't get married kids it costs so much48. Can you curl your tongue?Yup 😏49. Are you an innie or an outie?Innie!50. Left or right handed?Mostly right51. Are you scared of spiders?YES EXTREMELY PLEASE DONT SEND ME ANY I WILL CRY52. Favorite food?ice cream :D53. Favorite foreign food?All food is foreign when you live in America 54. Are you a clean or messy person?Both, idk how it just happens55. Most used phrased?Well fuck me up56. Most used word?Fuck57. How long does it take for you to get ready?Start with one hour. Divide by two for every additional hour I've been awake. Multiple by 3/5 for every rung up the social ladder I have to climb to attend the damn thing58. Do you have much of an ego?Nope, high key hate myself 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?c R O N C H60. Do you talk to yourself?I am the only one here my options are limited at best61. Do you sing to yourself?Yup! I love singing62. Are you a good singer?Hell no63. Biggest Fear?My parents 64. Are you a gossip?Nah65. Best dramatic movie you've seen?Iron man. So much drama66. Do you like long or short hair?For, me, I like longer hair67. Can you name all 50 states of America?AaaallllaaaabamaAlaskaArizonaArkansasCaliforniaColoradoConne- (For those of you who don't know a lot of American kids are made to memorize this song with all the states in order)68. Favorite school subject?Band69. Extrovert or Introvert?High functioning introvert70. Have you ever been scuba diving?No! I really wanna though71. What makes you nervous?People. Especially when they try to make eye contact like what the fuck no stop72. Are you scared of the dark?Nah the dark is fren shaped73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?If i think it will help74. Are you ticklish?Very please don't tickle me75. Have you ever started a rumor?Hell yeah bitch gon die today (nah it wasn't that bad)76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?Not often enough77. Have you ever drank underage?Of course. I, too, have been a narcissistic idiotic teen who hasn't78. Have you ever done drugs?See above. Hate myself for it but yeah79. Who was your first real crush?Kid I knew in fourth grade. Never said a word to him in six years it was great80. How many piercings do you have?Five! Not enough 81. Can you roll your Rs?Yup. Weird how some people can't82. How fast can you type?About as fast I can think. Lots of mistakes in both places83. How fast can you run? Fast enough to catch an icecream truck or a runaway toddler. That's really all I need tbh84. What color is your hair?It's up for debate85. What color is your eyes?Also up for debate. Imagine looking at clouds through a light blue lens86. What are you allergic to?My own destructive impulses.87. Do you keep a journal?Nope88. What do your parents do?Fuck if I know lmao89. Do you like your age? No I wanna be nine again that was fun. Anyone with a double digit age is automatically fucked90. What makes you angry?Idiocy, mine included91. Do you like your own name?Eh. It's ok, just doesn't feel like it fits.92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?Of course I have. But names should fit the subject so I won't know until I meet the kid.93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?Both, but combined into one person94. What are you strengths?My intense love for pineapples95. What are your weaknesses?Everything else96. How did you get your name?I'm still wondering that myself 97. Were your ancestors royalty?Idk does buffalo bill count? Dude was a dick tho idk if I wanna be associated with him 98. Do you have any scars?All over.99. Color of your bedspread? I don't have one? The sheets are blue.100. Color of your room? Two blue walls two white walls and a green carpet. No planning went into this

[chronically-something]

Life with Multiple Sclerosis ( MS) : World MS Day 2017

Today is World MS Day,  a day recognized on the last Wednesday in May in order to raise awareness of Multiple Sclerosis: the people it impacts and the realities we face. Multiple Sclerosis (MS) is a neurodegenerative, autoimmune disease, that affects 2.3 million people worldwide and has no cure.  Though the number of treatment options is growing,  there is no cure and the majority of treatments do not impact symptoms directly. Every person with MS experiences their own unique set of symptoms and challenges, making treatment plans complicated and individualistic.

Multiple Sclerosis Defined:

 mul·ti·ple scle·ro·sis ˈməltəpəl ˌskləˈrōsəs/ noun a chronic, typically progressive disease involving damage to the sheaths of nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord, whose symptoms may include numbness, impairment of speech and of muscular coordination, blurred vision, and severe fatigue.

This year’s World MS Day theme is “Life with MS”. What is life with MS? what does that technical stuff I just wrote really mean? How do those words above translate to the day to day life of someone with the disease?  Honestly? It’s hard to say what ‘Life with MS’ really means.  It’s different for everyone. MS is sometimes referred to as a snowflake disease for that very reason. No one experiences MS in the same way.  Some people never get optic neuritis and others feel plagued by it. It’s individual.

That said, the list of symptoms your body has to play with is long and frustrating and their manifestation is as unpredictable as the course of any one person’s disease.

 Symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis (Via The National MS Society) :

Fatigue – Occurs in about 80% of people, can significantly interfere with the ability to function at home and work, and may be the most prominent symptom in a person who otherwise has minimal activity limitations.

Walking (Gait) Difficulties – Related to several factors including weakness, spasticity, loss of balance, sensory deficit and fatigue, and can be helped by physical therapy, assistivetherapy  and medications.

Numbness or Tingling – Numbness of the face, body, or extremities (arms and legs) is often the first symptom experienced by those eventually diagnosed as having MS.

Spasticity – Refers to feelings of stiffness and a wide range of involuntary muscle spasms; can occur in any limb, but it is much more common in the legs.

Weakness – Weakness in MS, which results from deconditioning of unused muscles or damage to nerves that stimulate muscles, can be managed with rehabilitation strategies and the use of mobility aids and other assistive devices.

Vision Problems – The first symptom of MS for many people. Onset of blurred vision, poor contrast or color vision, and pain on eye movement can be frightening — and should be evaluated promptly.

Dizziness and Vertigo – People with MS may feel off balance or lightheaded, or — much less often — have the sensation that they or their surroundings are spinning (vertigo).

Bladder Problems – Bladder dysfunction, which occurs in at least 80% of people with MS, can usually be managed quite successfully with medications, fluid management, and intermittent self-catheterization.

Sexual Problems – Very common in the general population including people with MS. Sexual responses can be affected by damage in the central nervous system, as well by symptoms such as fatigue and spasticity, and by psychological factors.

Bowel Problems – Constipation is a particular concern among people with MS, as is loss of control of the bowels. Bowel issues can typically be managed through diet, adequate fluid intake, physical activity and medication.

Pain – Pain syndromes are common in MS. In one study, 55% of people with MS had “clinically significant pain” at some time, and almost half had chronic pain.

Cognitive Changes – Refers to a range of high-level brain functions affected in more than 50% of people with MS, including the ability to process incoming information, learn and remember new information, organize and problem-solve, focus attention and accurately perceive the environment.

Emotional Changes – Can be a reaction to the stresses of living with MS as well as the result of neurologic and immune changes. Significant depression, mood swings, irritability, and episodes of uncontrollable laughing and crying pose significant challenges for people with MS and their families.

Depression – Studies have suggested that clinical depression — the severest form of depression — is among the most common symptoms of MS. It is more common among people with MS than it is in the general population or in persons with many other chronic, disabling conditions.

Speech Problems – Speech problems, including slurring (dysarthria) and loss of volume (dysphonia) occur in approximately 25-40% of people with MS, particularly later in the disease course and during periods of extreme fatigue. Stuttering is occasionally reported as well.

Swallowing Problems Swallowing problems — referred to as dysphagia — result from damage to the nerves controlling the many small muscles in the mouth and throat.

Tremor– or uncontrollable shaking, can occur in various parts of the body because of damaged areas along the complex nerve pathways that are responsible for coordination of movements.

Seizures – which are the result of abnormal electrical discharges in an injured or scarred area of the brain — have been estimated to occur in 2-5% people with MS, compared to the estimated 3% of the general population.

Breathing Problems Respiration problems occur in people whose chest muscles have been severely weakened by damage to the nerves that control those muscles.

Itching Pruritis (itching) is one of the family of abnormal sensations — such as “pins and needles” and burning, stabbing or tearing pains — which may be experienced by people with MS.

Headache  Although a headache is not a common symptom of MS, some reports suggest that people with MS have an increased incidence of certain types of headache

Hearing Loss About 6% of people who have MS complain of impaired hearing. In very rare cases, hearing loss has been reported as the first symptom of the disease.

That’s a lot of stuff, but it doesn’t really explain life with MS, does it?  Lets put it this way: MS is a like a demon laying in wait. It will take any opportunity to present itself, do a number on your body and leave you worse off for it, how much worse depends on the type of MS you have and well… what the universe decides that day. Some of the damage is permanent and some go away and come back at random.  A daily game of Russian Roulette is a decent metaphor too. 

I can never truly explain what Life with MS means. What I can do is SHOW you what one fairly ‘normal’ day with MS is, or was, for me.

On May 25, 2016, I decided to document every time I found myself struggling with MS throughout my day. I signified these moments with a photograph and the placement of an MS awareness sticker provided by Shift.ms (an amazing organization!). This is the outcome.

The Context: 

Environment (weather) often contributes to worsening MS symptoms so It’s important I tell you the day was hot as hell, super humid, and generally what those of us with multiple sclerosis would consider a flare inspiring day.  I had no food for my tortoise and I since I have yet to discover how to control the weather, I went about my day despite the heat, in the careful and cautious way you do when you aren’t feeling right and don’t want to draw the attention of the MS demons lying in wait.

 (Video & Slide  Show to come) 

Each of these photos captured a moment where I found myself struggling with symptoms (new, heat inspired, and those that are permanent fixtures in my life) and issues created by multiple sclerosis. These symptoms and struggles are typical to a day in my #LifeWithMS.

Every day brings new and old challenges to the forefront that I stop and deal with and move forward. That is the key.

After 7 years I can’t say the fight is getting easier, I can’t pretend I’m used to it or forget about it or found its purpose in my life. Life with MS still sucks and I’m betting it always will.  I can say, however, that I’ve learned a thing or two about dealing with the day to day, about myself and how to cope. With that in mind, I’ll offer you a tip on how to deal with #lifewithMS.

Know that you are moving forward. 

People often talk about keeping positive, smiling through the pain, chin up and all that. I sometimes feel the real message is lost in those statements. My tip for anyone struggling with MS, or any disease like, it is to remember you’re moving forward. No matter what, you are. It’s a fact. Time moves on and you’re going with it. So remember to feel your feelings, anger, pain, frustration and sadness are all parts of our reality, but so are joy, happiness, gratitude and love.

Keeping positive is never forgetting that you are moving forward while experiencing any or all of the aforementioned emotions. You don’t have to smile all the time, you don’t have to claim everything is fine, you just have to know that in the end, you’re moving forward and tomorrow is another day. That’s the tip: 

Feel, Deal, and Move Forward.

You’re winning because you’re living even when it feels like you’re moving backward with every breath. It’s an abstract thought that might seem someone useless but if you let it live in the back of your mind it might just help you through those particularly terrible moments. I might also add, as I learned from this photo project,  take the time to look at a day in your life, all the moments MS tried to stop you from moving forward, and be proud of yourself. You moved forward and MS couldn’t do anything about it. 

Then give yourself a high five. You earned it. 

ETA: The video describing the symptoms associated with each photo.

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How To Babysit Toddlers

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Toddler years are children ages 12 months (1 year) to 36 months (3 years). During this stage of their lives, you’ll start to see some very significant changes and advancements in their physical development. They’ll start to walk, speak, and engage with you a whole different level. They’re now truly little people. In my experience, it’s a very fun age for children.

However, it’s also a lot of work to babysit a toddler. You rarely have time to sit down, you have to be on constant alert, and they often think that doing something bad is funny.

Keeping that in mind, there are certain things that you want to consider before accepting the position.

1. Understand Their Energy Level and Yours

Toddlers are very mischievous, full of energy, and incredible adorable all in one! One minute they’ll do something that’ll make you want to pull your hair out and in the next minute, you’ll be laughing hysterically at one of their antics. There’s usually no in between.

Toddlers require a lot of work on your part to watch them. They need your constant attention, not necessarily to entertain them, but certainly, so you can see what they’re up to. Silence is suspicious!

I remember when my niece, Layla was in her toddler years. If my sister turned her back to her for a minute, Layla would be up to something in no time. For instance, we’d be talking on the phone when she’d suddenly have to hang up. “I’ve gotta go. Layla is trying to eat out of the garbage again.”

If you’re going to agree to babysit a toddler, you’ll want to make sure that you have the energy for it. A lot of your time will be spent chasing after them and redirecting them to a safer situation. They’re much quicker than they look!

2. Prepare Yourself For Everything

Much like Layla munching on eggshells from the garbage pail, toddlers are both unpredictable and predictable at the same time. If they try it once, they’ll try it again. And again. And again.

Always maintain a watchful eye. One minute they’ll be happily playing with their playdoh and the next they’ll try to play tea party with toilet water. They love to go where they’re not supposed to. And after they’ve been correct and redirected, they’ll probably try it again. They’re pushing their boundaries.

3. Ask a lot of questions!

Be proactive about getting to know the toddler before you watch them. Every toddler has at least one thing they love to do but that they should probably never do. It usually falls into the category of dangerous and/or extremely messy.

Ask their parents if they tend to get into anything or if there’s something specific you need to look out for. No child is without one of these things!

Most families have baby-proofed their house to cover sharp edges, lock their cabinets, and block off electrical outlets. However, toddlers like to put things in their mouths and this is a serious safety hazard.

Ask them if there’s anything that the toddler likes to try and put in their mouth that could be a choking hazard. If they have food that should be cut to a certain sizes if you’re feeding them.

Also, if the parents want you to feed their child while they’re away, ask about what foods are off limits. Just like toys, certain foods are potential choking hazards.

Lastly, make sure to ask about any allergies and how severe they are. This includes any food, pet, or seasonal allergies. You may want to bring a treat with you, or you may live with animal and their dander and fur may be on your clothing.

4.) Communicate Freely But Don’t Overwhelm the Parents

If a babysitter is needed, that means that the parents need to be kid free for a period of time. If it’s not something that needs immediate parental attention like a bad injury or crucial instructions that weren’t given like the location of birthday party, don’t bother them.

They’ll likely check in with you to see how things are going and at that time you can give them an update.

Talk with the toddler’s parents prior to watching their child to determine the rules of the house and respect them! Kow what’s expected from you and the child.

See Tips for First Time Babysitters for more information on communication.

5.) Never Leave Them Alone

Toddlers can get into a lot of trouble if ever left alone, even for a minute.

If you have to leave the room to use the bathroom, I would suggest strapping them in their highchair or putting them in their pack-n-play. They might cry, but it’s better that they cry for that reason than from a serious injury. If they’re buckled into their highchair or in a pack-n-play, they should be safe, but don’t leave them alone with food or any potentially harmful items within reach.

If after reading that, you feel that you’re up for the challenge, it’s now time to have fun. So what fun activities can you do with a toddler while you’re babysitting them?

Good babysitters have lots of fun and engaging activities to do with toddlers while they’re babysitting. Parents don’t want to their kids to sit in front of the T.V. or ipad while they’re away. Although that is a good option once they need some downtime, they’ll need more stimulation to use up their energy.

After determining with the parents what’s off-limits while they’re in your care, such as electronics, games, or trips to the playground, planning activities will be easier.

Only play with one thing at a time. Don’t overwhelm them with too many options. If a toy is played with, it should be put away before you move on to the next activity. They have short attention spans so this will most likely occur more than once.

Kids need structure at all ages! Learn the rules of the house and enforce them. Also, set your own rules for things that you don’t feel comfortable with concerning behavior and activities. You’ll likley hear “But Mommy lets me.” But you’re not Mommy so the same rules don’t apply or they’re lying.

Some things to do are…

1. Take Them Outside and Play!

Children need outdoor time to run around and exert their high levels of energy. Check out the 5 Benefits of Kids Playing Outside.

If they have a gated backyard this a great place for them to do it. You’ll know that they’re in a safe space so they can’t just escape at a moment’s notice.

Bring a ball or several with you! Play catch, play soccer, roll it around. You have to be just enthusiastic about playing games so that you grab maintain their attention during the activity.

Blow Bubbles! Toddlers love to blow bubbles (though most aren’t that good it just yet). But even if they aren’t good at blowing them, they’ll have fun chasing and popping the bubbles that you make!

Play a little game of tag! A fun variation is called rag tag. Instead of touching the other person, you have to grab the rag or another clean cloth item from them. Think of it like flag football, but without the ball. Whoever has the rag must run from the others have to avoid getting the rag stolen.

If the weather is warm, a great way to cool down is with a water table or sprinkler play. While watching the toddler in the parent’s home, ask them if they have either of these around.

Should you be watching them at your home, it’s a great toy to have around because it lasts for years. My niece and nephews had one of their deck and it was used EVERY spring and summer. And when the weather got cold and it started to snow, they’d still use the table to hold snowballs or as a base for their snowman. A simple toy like this is hours of fun for kids!

Check it out on Amazon:

Water table

2. Sing Nursery Rhymes

One of the best ways to get toddlers moving is to put on some music and have a dance party or just old fashion nursery rhymes.

Here’s a playlist for nursery rhymes.

3. Play Sorting & Counting Games

Most toddler toys are large and colorful. They’re made this way on purpose to attract the attention of the child and make for safe play.

If they have toys like mega blocks. Dump them out and have them sort by color, shape, or size.

A great thing to do with these blocks is to stack! Toddlers love stacking games! Do you know what else they love? Knocking things down! Toddlers can freely stack blocks or cardboard bricks and safely knock them down. It’s loads of fun for them!

You can also teach them how to count with the toys too. Learning through play is one of the best ways to teach children. Start off by simply counting yourself out loud. The older they are the more likely they’ll count along.

If they’re not talking yet, they’re still absorbing information. It’s important to always be talking to toddlers and younger children. They’re always learning because everything is new to them!

4. Read A Book To Them

Reading never gets old, toddlers and kids of all ages need to hear someone speaking to them. Hearing others talk is how they’ll learn to talk and improve their vocabulary. Reading together is a great way to bond.

They may have some on their bookshelf already, but there are a few of my favorites that my nieces and nephews loved to hear me read to them when they were little. Change your voice for inflection and different characters to make it even more entertaining for them.

Here’s a list of books that have always been a big hit with younger children. 

Check them out on Amazon:

Chicka Chicka ABC

Rhyming Dust Bunnies 

Here Comes the Big Mean Dust Bunny

Don’t The Pigeon Drive the Bus!

Goodnight Moon

5. Go for a walk

Toddlers are too young to walk independently in the street. However, you can put them in a stroller and allow them to enjoy the scenery.

You can talk about things that you see along the way like birds, flowers, grass, trees, different colored houses, etc. It’s also not a bad idea to sing a song or have some music playing on your phone. It makes the walk that more enjoyable.

Make sure to double check that you’ve properly locked up the house and have your phone and keys before leaving.

6. Art and Creative Play

Creative play is a great activity for toddlers. Encourage them to explore their artistic side with some crayons, washable markers and some and blank white paper.

You can also come prepared with a fun coloring activity. Teach them their ABC’s, different animals, and let them color all at the same time with my free ABC animal coloring book!

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Things to Keep in Mind

1.) Bathroom Breaks and Diaper Checks

With toddlers, you can never be too sure when they’ll have an accident. Or, they’ll most definitely need a diaper change. If they’re potty training, they may forget to tell you they have to go to the bathroom. Regularly ask if they have to go and have them try a few times. If you leave the house, you’ll need to bring a change of clothes with you.

If they’re still in diapers, you’ll need their diaper bag with you. You’ll also need to check they’re diaper pretty regularly. You can smell poop right away, so they’ll be no surprises there. However, pee pee is more covert, so just be mindful of when their last diaper change and how much liquid they’ve consumed.

2. They’ll get hungry!

With all their running around, toddlers need snacks and a drink. Give them parent approved drinks and snacks.

If they’re not talking and can’t tell you that they’re hungry, a good indication is when they get cranky. If they’re craking it’s either time for a nap or they need some food in their bellies.

Common snacks might be something like pretzels, animals crackers, goldfish, or fruits. Drinks might be juice, water, or milk, depending on what the parent wants to give them. Juice should be watered down as it’s often too sugary for kids and is bad for their teeth.

Again, be mindful of choking hazards when it comes to foods and never leave them unattended while they’re eating.

3.) Minor injuries are probable

Even when toddlers are on carpets and playing in kid-friendly areas, they may still have a fall or two. It happens. These little guys aren’t that stable on their feet so they fall more often than old children. Don’t freak out. Kids are resilient and often cry out of fear and not necessarily pain.

Always check for bumps, bruises, and or bleeding. If it’s just a little fall, don’t be alarmed. Should you discover a mark, put ice on it immediately. If there’s blood clean up their wound right way and put a bandaid on it.

Let the parents know how the injury occurred right way. Don’t wait for their parents to find the bump or cut.

4.) Toddlers are parrots

Though I’m sure you’re not planning to curse or use any other foul language in front of kids, just be cautious of your word choice. Things slip out. If you wouldn’t use the words in front of the parents, don’t use them in front of their children. Toddlers are little parrots often repeat what they hear.

5.) Naps are likely and needed!

Toddlers have a lot of energy, but they also need to replenish that energy with a nap. Talk to the parents about when they’re nap time is. Having a schedule will make your time with the child much easier.

If they get upset that their parents are there to put them to bed or for their nap, try to ease their pain. It’s scary for kids to endure change. Let them know that they’re parents are coming back, you’re just with them for a little while. Sing them a song to sooth their sorrows.

6.) They’ll get in trouble.

Ask the parents how to handle bad behavior. Most are okay with time-outs, but spanking is never allowed!

Sometimes toddlers will do things to get your attention. It’s often referred to as acting out. They’ll touch something they know they’re not supposed to touch, hit you, or throw things.

Since you’ve already gone over the rules with their parents, time outs or other takeaways should be enforced. Give a warning for most bad behavior, but hitting of any kind should result in a punishment.

Becoming a babysitter for toddlers is a big commitment, but it’s also very rewarding at the same time. With a little practice and a lot of patience, you may find it the best age to babysit children! I know I loved it!

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‘Far Cry New Dawn,’ ‘Metro Exodus,’ and the Post-Apocalypse We Need

This post contains spoilers for Metro Exodus and Far Cry New Dawn .

In one nuclear post-apocalypse, I’m desperately searching through the irradiated Dead City while monsters gather around, eager for an easy meal. In another, I’m a god floating through the air, hurling buzzsaw blades and turning invisible at will among mutant, neon flora.

The first post-apocalypse is that of Metro Exodus, and the second is Far Cry New Dawn—two new video games (simultaneously released on February 15) about life after an apocalypse.

On the surface, the games’ setup have a lot in common—they both take place roughly 20 years after nuclear war—but they present hope for a future world in radically different ways. Metro Exodus (set in Russia and developed by Ukrainians) is a downbeat tale about competing visions of the future, and people’s ability to affect that future for the better. Far Cry New Dawn (set in America, developed in Canada), in contrast, is a neon-blasted, deceptively nihilistic saga about becoming a god in an endless churn of violence and suffering.

Both games had an opportunity to do something interesting—using video games to tell a story about a world we’re presently trying to avoid—and only Metro Exodus succeeded. This is important right now, as it feels as though we might be on the precipice of nuclear annihilation once again.

America has decided to withdraw from the Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty, which eliminated Russia and America’s deployment of short- and limited-range intercontinental ballistic missiles (ICBM). President Trump has indicated he’ll pull the US out of the New Strategic Arms Reduction Treaty (New START) as well, which is set to lapse in February of 2021 unless revived. New START was an agreement that gave America and Russia the goal of halving their nuclear stockpiles.

At the same time, a new nuclear arms race is being fomented as both the US and Russia work to modernize their nuclear stockpiles. Russia is building hypersonic missiles it claims can nuke cities faster than anything the world has seen before. The Trump administration wants to build up Space Force and use the F-35 to shoot down ICBMs.

The stories that we tell ourselves in such times of crisis—whether through video games, books, TV, or movies—matter. 1983 TV movie The Day After, which depicted a nuclear attack on American soil, famously depressed Ronald Reagan so much that he made note of it in his personal diary. One biographer has speculated that the film led Reagan to pursue nuclear deterrence. Later, in 1987, Reagan and Soviet General Secretary Mikhail Gorbachev signed the Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty.

It’s a shame, then, to see Far Cry New Dawn waste its opportunity to tell an empowering story about living after a nuke. At the end of 2018’s Far Cry 5, nuclear missiles flew and the world ended. New Dawn picks up almost 20 years later as the game’s nameless protagonist tears ass across the fictional Hope County, Montanna killing bad guys, rebuilding the community, and eventually defeating the villainous twins Mickey and Lou. Joseph Seed, the previous game’s religious fanatic villain, is now contrite and becomes an ally.

New Dawn, unlike a lot of post-apocalyptic games, is bright and colorful and has a kick ass soundtrack featuring artists like Run the Jewels and Die Antwoord. A post-nuclear super bloom of pink verbena litters the world. It’s a joy to move around, and I felt like a god—running through the game world, shrugging off damage, and, later, using super powers to float through the air and turn invisible. Every moment of the game is geared towards making the player feel superhumanly powerful, and I felt it in every snapped neck and crushed larynx. Video games are often power fantasies, but New Dawn takes this to the extreme.

Throughout the game, I liberated outposts and fought against Mickey and Lou, killing hundreds of bad guys in the process. New Dawn constantly asks you to repeat the same old cycle of violence again and again.

Midway through the game I met Hurk, an ally from the first game now aged two decades. “You look familiar,” he said. “As if we’ve done this before in some endless haunting loop from which neither of us will ever escape.”

For all of New Dawn’s bright aesthetics, the game suggests that violence will always reign. Even after the old world is destroyed by its violent ways, only a bloodthirsty superhuman can survive in the new one. We’re stuck in a haunting, endless loop from which no one will escape. There is no hope here, only varying degrees of suffering and oppression for everyone who isn’t the player.

Metro Exodus, by contrast, is a dreary game firmly rooted in the sins of the past. From its opening moments to its final hours, it never let me forget I was playing in the ruins of a world destroyed by nukes. Radiation and mutants are a constant problem, and many areas required that I wear a gas mask to survive. I was not a god, and my ability to affect the world was limited, but profound.

Metro Exodus follows the story of Artyom, a soldier in an elite squad protecting the underground civilization living in the Moscow metro system twenty years after a nuclear war. Artyom and his fellow soldiers hear a radio signal that hints at life above ground beyond Moscow, so they grab a train and set off into the countryside, hoping for a better life.

From there, I explored a rain-soaked marshland along the Volga river, a sun-scorched desert near the drained Caspian Sea, and a lush forest along the Taiga river. Every area felt distinct and, in their own way, oppressive. Metro is about survival. Artyom moves slower than Far Cry’s nameless hero, and can only take a few hits before dying. A stray bullet, a bad fall, or unseen radiation can kill you. Ammo is scarce, and monsters don’t drop any loot so they’re best avoided. Unlike Far Cry, I always felt powerless and scared playing Metro.

In Metro, especially late in the game, avoiding human enemies entirely is often preferable to killing them and stirring up trouble. Far Cry’s narrative asks the player to break the cycle of violence, but in practice actively encourages mayhem and destruction. It makes violence easy, fun, and the only option. Metro Exodus, on the other hand, subtly encourages the player to break the old world’s cycle of violence by incentivizing them to avoid combat encounters and take a peaceful route through its world. Peaceful playthroughs tend to have happier outcomes.

On the Volga, for example, I avoided killing people connected the religious community and even helped a few out of trouble. At the end of the area, I needed something the religious fanatics could give me, and they let me have it without much problem. I had been kind to their people and helped to make a better world. A colleague played this same area more violently, and the chapter ended with a profound loss.

That’s the biggest difference between Far Cry New Dawn and Metro Exodus. The world of New Dawn is beautiful, but there’s only one way to interact with the game’s villains: murder them. Avoidance or diplomacy aren’t possible, only death. In New Dawn’s world reborn, I was fighting the same old battles over resources and territory.

Artyom and his band of travelers, on the other hand, don’t need to destroy the lives or dreams of anyone else to make their hopes for the future a reality. Metro Exodus is smart enough to let the player choose to live and let live, or slaughter everyone they see, but either way the player has to face the consequences of their actions. In Metro, aggression is unequivocally the worst possible option.

That message—that violence and Armageddon is something we should fear and be humbled by is one we dearly need right now, as the old treaties and norms that we once depended on to keep us safe from nuclear Armageddon are fading away or degrading. There’s no technicolor party waiting for us after the bombs go off.

Stories will not save us, but they can give us hope. They can tell us how to move forward. They can serve as warning and comfort. Metro Exodus does that, while Far Cry New Dawn simply distracts with a pastel color palette while saying there’s nothing to be done, except to kill and enjoy it.

‘Far Cry New Dawn,’ ‘Metro Exodus,’ and the Post-Apocalypse We Need syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

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5 Sucky Things That Suck On Purpose

This may come as a surprise, but I like it when things don’t suck. In fact, I would say that I devote 80 percent of my efforts toward avoiding suckage. Sadly, though, I can’t control the actions of others, and I won’t ever be able to until The Device is perfected. But until then, some people make shitty things, and the rest of us have to deal with it. And while we can comfort ourselves with the knowledge that everyone makes mistakes as we eat a pizza which inexplicably arrived topped with double olives and pineapple, there’s no solace in the knowledge that some people do shitty things entirely on purpose. On that note, here are five terrible things which people made fully knowing that they’d be terrible.

5

The Google Glass Battery

If you were sober or literate in 2013 and 2014, you may have had to endure the deluge of tech profiles and extremely not-boring thinkpieces on Google Glass. If you could not in fact read or legally drive in 2013 and 2014, Google Glass was basically Google’s answer to the question “What’s a super expensive piece of shit I can intrusively wear on my face which will obscure my vision and make anyone around me fearful that I’m videotaping them like some kind of creeper?” You know, a question that we’ve all asked.

While most of us immediately dismissed Glass as being about as appealing as a herpes scab parfait, there were naturally a few fans who couldn’t wait to be the dollar store version of Geordi LaForge. But even amongst those die-hard tech fluffers, there was a clear issue: Glass had a battery that sucked like a leech in the coldest recesses of the vacuum of space.

The battery life of Google Glass clocked in at around 45 minutes, meaning that you had just enough time to stream yourself watching one episode of Young Sheldon and then crying about it afterwards before it shut off. Google tried to explain this away as an intentional design feature that was actually beneficial and not an example of a battery assembled by a one-eyed guy in an flea market who smells like cats.

According to Google, your cellphone is just a dangerous espionage device constantly listening to you from your pants pocket and maybe sending all that sweet, sweet pants gossip back to Samsung or the Kingsmen or whoever the fuck cares what you’re doing. So in an effort to heroically protect you from filthy spies, Google intentionally made a shitty battery so that the New World Order agents will only be able to watch half of your masturbation session before they’re left hanging. Suck it, dickholes! You’ll never know how this one ends!*

*Hastily, with a climactic yawp.

4

Low-Quality Viral Commercials

In 2011, the internet was blessed with one of the worst commercials for a taxidermy business that anyone had ever seen. I say this not as a connoisseur of taxidermy ads, but as a logical human being. Also, do taxidermy places really need commercials? What more needs to be said, other than “Hey! Do you like wolves, but hate the bitey, movey kinds?”

This commercial for Ojai Valley Taxidermy featured the one-two punch of Chuck Testa’s taxidermy skill and acting, and made us all fall in love with the stuffed corpse of a coyote and the overall awfulness of the entire experience. It was poorly made, clearly cheap, and its only redeeming quality was that all of the badness made it charming as hell. Chuck Testa became an internet hero. And it was all bullshit.

Testa is just one of many viral commercial stars made famous for being in videos often shared as “the worst commercial I’ve ever seen.” One commercial for a mall from 2014 featured employees singing a jingle that sounded like a cross between 3 a.m. barf-in-your-own-shoe-drunk karaoke and a cat stuck in a well. It sucked large, and people went nuts about it.

For a local business trying to drum up some attention, you have two options: Legitimately make a forgettable, boring, low-budget commercial which blandly explains whatever you’re trying to sell, or roll the dice on potentially going viral by making an abomination. Create such an abysmal crime against advertising that the sun refuses to shine when the video is playing and birds immediately stop singing and synchronize-shit on your car. Make it so bad that everyone immediately shares it with everyone they know. And then your craptastic commercial becomes an internet sensation.

They say people are ten times as likely to share a bad experience with a business than a good one. People like to complain more than they like to praise, probably because if something goes right, it fits in with your expectations and is therefore unremarkable. It’s only when things go wrong that you get worked up and make a stink over it. So when you see a commercial that damn near offends you with its utter fuckshittery, you’ll share that monstrosity with everyone. And that’s exactly what they want.

3

Web Brutalism

When I first got the internet in my house as a kid, we got a state-of-the-art, badass, lightning-fast 56k modem. I could download an MP3 in like ten minutes, and sometimes an entire dirty picture would load up before something went buggy and the poor woman was cut off at the knees. And seven out of every ten websites looked like a low-res My Little Pony pony ralphed cotton candy and Four Loko across a small-town church bulletin board.

As time passed, we all grew up and became better people with better websites. Dancing baby GIFs gave way to interstitial ads and Flash videos. Designs that looked like they were made by a guy with vinegar in his eyes working in the dark faded away, and sleek, professionally designed mega porn sites took their place. It was a great time to be alive. Or so we thought, because I guess people got sick of things that don’t look like shit and Web Brutalism was born.

If the terribly cheesy name didn’t give it away, Web Brutalism is a kind of artsy shitsy internet aesthetic. You purposefully make your website look like the south end of a northbound horse. Ugly, disorganized graphics, shockingly off-putting colors, a veritable dumpster of design techniques shat out onto a screen — if your site doesn’t look a fourth-grader’s glue and cardboard collage, you’ve failed.

A classically bad website was designed on Angelfire by your aunt who collects figurines of Jesus playing sports when she wanted to do something to commemorate her love of beat poetry. Some links were unclickable, images didn’t quite line up right, and it had charm in the same way your macaroni artwork had charm to your mom, who never told you that it looked like shit because she loved you. By the way, your macaroni art looked like shit. It’s cool, though, mine looked like the shit that shit takes after eating shit sandwiches. And somehow, someone decided a forced version of that was a good idea.

Web Brutalism seeks to make a website harder to navigate and uglier to look at than a fine, upstanding site, like the one you’re currently enjoying. Why? The answer is best summed up in this quote I heard from a guy in a bar once: “Fuckin’ because.”

2

Bioware’s Female Designs

Back in the day when I had an NES, there were basically two female characters you could name across the spectrum of video game characters: Princesses Peach and Zelda, and I don’t even think Zelda was actually in her game. But I did beat Super Mario Bros. 2, and Peach helped a brother out on that one, so yeah, you could say I’m like a video game feminist or some such. Which is why Bioware’s curious history with female characters is such a headscratcher.

Bioware makes some pretty impressive-looking games, like Mass Effect, and the character designs are amazing. There is a definite problem with some of them, though, insofar as that amazingness is in how straight up nuts-on-a-donkey ugly they are.

When Mass Effect: Andromeda was released, fans were quick to notice that the male version of the player character, Ryder, looks super badass and cool and almost exactly like the male model who lent his likeness to the game designers. The female version of Ryder looks like the model if you rolled her in a sack of sadness and didn’t let her sleep for four days while feeding her a straight diet of CHUD.

Twitter

So why, if you have the ability to render characters in a way that makes them look like not vaguely emotive ballsacks, would you make your character look like a vaguely emotive ballsack? This one requires a bit of creative tinkering in the ol’ thinky bag, but it does make sense. Female characters in gaming, as you may be aware, have a bit of a lackluster history in terms of realistic representation. After Princess Peach, the next big name in lady characters was Lara Croft, who was at first presented as polygonal boobs on blocks, and then later as well-vectored boobs on well-vectored short pants. And thus began a tradition of most video game women being little more than boobs and confusion. So maybe Bioware makes their female characters less appealing on purpose so as to not be considered sexist or douchey.

Bioware has never come out and said they’ve made purposefully ugly characters. They have acknowledged abhorrent animation issues and terrible facial expressions which they set to work on fixing, but fans were all pretty convinced that there had to be more behind the distractingly objectionable visages of the female characters. As noted gamer nerd and feminist Lisa Kerzner argues in her video, it looks an awful lot like Bioware put considerable effort into downplaying the character’s face to make her more of an ugmo hero type (but just in the face), while trying to pawn it off as a technical limitation. Despite the fact that numerous other games can feature women who don’t look like victims of barnyard mad science, including a lot of Bioware’s previous games.

Unfortunately, dealing with matters of sex, sexism, and gender in video games is like opening a bag of cat shit lined with explosive squibs right in your damn face. If you recall anything to do with Gamergate, you know this is ground no one wants to tread on, so you almost can’t blame Bioware for not saying jack shit about it, as you don’t want to feed any trolls. But at the same time, when it’s obvious that they can make a nearly identical male character, there’s clearly a reason they’re not putting that same kind of effort into their females.

1

Scam Email Grammar

Usually when I send emails, I spell the multi-syllable words incorrectly and use grammar that’s about as fucked as a friction-burnt Fleshlight. But that’s my own bugaboo to deal with, and has little-to-no bearing on the world of scam email.

The odds of you having never received a Nigerian scam email are slimmer than Slender Man’s weird dick, which I’ll tell you about sometime if you buy me a few beers. But for the sake of the kids in the audience who are reading this on the wall I inscribe all my articles on and have never received email before, a Nigerian scam email is a poorly worded piece of fuckery that shows up in your inbox claiming to be from some African prince who has millions of dollars tied up in banks overseas, and if you could just help pay some transfer fees, you can keep a buttload of it!

Typically, these emails use terrible grammar and atrocious spelling, not because the person sending you the email is a blithering idiot, but because they need you to be so gullible that you believe a Wakandan prince personally sent you a one-way ticket to being a millionaire, and he typed the message with a greasy turkey leg in his hand while riding a homemade roller coaster.

Most of us can identify a scam email right away. Another subsection of people will be suspicious but interested. And an even smaller division will write back to test the waters. The scammers want nothing to do with any of those people. They want the person who immediately responds with their bank account number in the signature line, because they only want to deal with people who may have mistaken a ham bone for Tony Danza more than once in their lives. So don’t be too proud if you recognize right away that someone sent you a weak as shit attempt at ripping you off; they just didn’t want you to waste their time.

Ian’s Twitter is awesome on purpose. Go look.

Does Troll 2 suck on purpose? Find out for yourself, and go down the rabbit hole of recommendations like Samurai Cop and more!

Read more: http://ift.tt/2gTq5jG

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2AazPyt via Viral News HQ

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5 Sucky Things That Suck On Purpose

This may come as a surprise, but I like it when things don’t suck. In fact, I would say that I devote 80 percent of my efforts toward avoiding suckage. Sadly, though, I can’t control the actions of others, and I won’t ever be able to until The Device is perfected. But until then, some people make shitty things, and the rest of us have to deal with it. And while we can comfort ourselves with the knowledge that everyone makes mistakes as we eat a pizza which inexplicably arrived topped with double olives and pineapple, there’s no solace in the knowledge that some people do shitty things entirely on purpose. On that note, here are five terrible things which people made fully knowing that they’d be terrible.

5

The Google Glass Battery

If you were sober or literate in 2013 and 2014, you may have had to endure the deluge of tech profiles and extremely not-boring thinkpieces on Google Glass. If you could not in fact read or legally drive in 2013 and 2014, Google Glass was basically Google’s answer to the question “What’s a super expensive piece of shit I can intrusively wear on my face which will obscure my vision and make anyone around me fearful that I’m videotaping them like some kind of creeper?” You know, a question that we’ve all asked.

While most of us immediately dismissed Glass as being about as appealing as a herpes scab parfait, there were naturally a few fans who couldn’t wait to be the dollar store version of Geordi LaForge. But even amongst those die-hard tech fluffers, there was a clear issue: Glass had a battery that sucked like a leech in the coldest recesses of the vacuum of space.

The battery life of Google Glass clocked in at around 45 minutes, meaning that you had just enough time to stream yourself watching one episode of Young Sheldon and then crying about it afterwards before it shut off. Google tried to explain this away as an intentional design feature that was actually beneficial and not an example of a battery assembled by a one-eyed guy in an flea market who smells like cats.

According to Google, your cellphone is just a dangerous espionage device constantly listening to you from your pants pocket and maybe sending all that sweet, sweet pants gossip back to Samsung or the Kingsmen or whoever the fuck cares what you’re doing. So in an effort to heroically protect you from filthy spies, Google intentionally made a shitty battery so that the New World Order agents will only be able to watch half of your masturbation session before they’re left hanging. Suck it, dickholes! You’ll never know how this one ends!*

*Hastily, with a climactic yawp.

4

Low-Quality Viral Commercials

In 2011, the internet was blessed with one of the worst commercials for a taxidermy business that anyone had ever seen. I say this not as a connoisseur of taxidermy ads, but as a logical human being. Also, do taxidermy places really need commercials? What more needs to be said, other than “Hey! Do you like wolves, but hate the bitey, movey kinds?”

This commercial for Ojai Valley Taxidermy featured the one-two punch of Chuck Testa’s taxidermy skill and acting, and made us all fall in love with the stuffed corpse of a coyote and the overall awfulness of the entire experience. It was poorly made, clearly cheap, and its only redeeming quality was that all of the badness made it charming as hell. Chuck Testa became an internet hero. And it was all bullshit.

Testa is just one of many viral commercial stars made famous for being in videos often shared as “the worst commercial I’ve ever seen.” One commercial for a mall from 2014 featured employees singing a jingle that sounded like a cross between 3 a.m. barf-in-your-own-shoe-drunk karaoke and a cat stuck in a well. It sucked large, and people went nuts about it.

For a local business trying to drum up some attention, you have two options: Legitimately make a forgettable, boring, low-budget commercial which blandly explains whatever you’re trying to sell, or roll the dice on potentially going viral by making an abomination. Create such an abysmal crime against advertising that the sun refuses to shine when the video is playing and birds immediately stop singing and synchronize-shit on your car. Make it so bad that everyone immediately shares it with everyone they know. And then your craptastic commercial becomes an internet sensation.

They say people are ten times as likely to share a bad experience with a business than a good one. People like to complain more than they like to praise, probably because if something goes right, it fits in with your expectations and is therefore unremarkable. It’s only when things go wrong that you get worked up and make a stink over it. So when you see a commercial that damn near offends you with its utter fuckshittery, you’ll share that monstrosity with everyone. And that’s exactly what they want.

3

Web Brutalism

When I first got the internet in my house as a kid, we got a state-of-the-art, badass, lightning-fast 56k modem. I could download an MP3 in like ten minutes, and sometimes an entire dirty picture would load up before something went buggy and the poor woman was cut off at the knees. And seven out of every ten websites looked like a low-res My Little Pony pony ralphed cotton candy and Four Loko across a small-town church bulletin board.

As time passed, we all grew up and became better people with better websites. Dancing baby GIFs gave way to interstitial ads and Flash videos. Designs that looked like they were made by a guy with vinegar in his eyes working in the dark faded away, and sleek, professionally designed mega porn sites took their place. It was a great time to be alive. Or so we thought, because I guess people got sick of things that don’t look like shit and Web Brutalism was born.

If the terribly cheesy name didn’t give it away, Web Brutalism is a kind of artsy shitsy internet aesthetic. You purposefully make your website look like the south end of a northbound horse. Ugly, disorganized graphics, shockingly off-putting colors, a veritable dumpster of design techniques shat out onto a screen — if your site doesn’t look a fourth-grader’s glue and cardboard collage, you’ve failed.

A classically bad website was designed on Angelfire by your aunt who collects figurines of Jesus playing sports when she wanted to do something to commemorate her love of beat poetry. Some links were unclickable, images didn’t quite line up right, and it had charm in the same way your macaroni artwork had charm to your mom, who never told you that it looked like shit because she loved you. By the way, your macaroni art looked like shit. It’s cool, though, mine looked like the shit that shit takes after eating shit sandwiches. And somehow, someone decided a forced version of that was a good idea.

Web Brutalism seeks to make a website harder to navigate and uglier to look at than a fine, upstanding site, like the one you’re currently enjoying. Why? The answer is best summed up in this quote I heard from a guy in a bar once: “Fuckin’ because.”

2

Bioware’s Female Designs

Back in the day when I had an NES, there were basically two female characters you could name across the spectrum of video game characters: Princesses Peach and Zelda, and I don’t even think Zelda was actually in her game. But I did beat Super Mario Bros. 2, and Peach helped a brother out on that one, so yeah, you could say I’m like a video game feminist or some such. Which is why Bioware’s curious history with female characters is such a headscratcher.

Bioware makes some pretty impressive-looking games, like Mass Effect, and the character designs are amazing. There is a definite problem with some of them, though, insofar as that amazingness is in how straight up nuts-on-a-donkey ugly they are.

When Mass Effect: Andromeda was released, fans were quick to notice that the male version of the player character, Ryder, looks super badass and cool and almost exactly like the male model who lent his likeness to the game designers. The female version of Ryder looks like the model if you rolled her in a sack of sadness and didn’t let her sleep for four days while feeding her a straight diet of CHUD.

Twitter

So why, if you have the ability to render characters in a way that makes them look like not vaguely emotive ballsacks, would you make your character look like a vaguely emotive ballsack? This one requires a bit of creative tinkering in the ol’ thinky bag, but it does make sense. Female characters in gaming, as you may be aware, have a bit of a lackluster history in terms of realistic representation. After Princess Peach, the next big name in lady characters was Lara Croft, who was at first presented as polygonal boobs on blocks, and then later as well-vectored boobs on well-vectored short pants. And thus began a tradition of most video game women being little more than boobs and confusion. So maybe Bioware makes their female characters less appealing on purpose so as to not be considered sexist or douchey.

Bioware has never come out and said they’ve made purposefully ugly characters. They have acknowledged abhorrent animation issues and terrible facial expressions which they set to work on fixing, but fans were all pretty convinced that there had to be more behind the distractingly objectionable visages of the female characters. As noted gamer nerd and feminist Lisa Kerzner argues in her video, it looks an awful lot like Bioware put considerable effort into downplaying the character’s face to make her more of an ugmo hero type (but just in the face), while trying to pawn it off as a technical limitation. Despite the fact that numerous other games can feature women who don’t look like victims of barnyard mad science, including a lot of Bioware’s previous games.

Unfortunately, dealing with matters of sex, sexism, and gender in video games is like opening a bag of cat shit lined with explosive squibs right in your damn face. If you recall anything to do with Gamergate, you know this is ground no one wants to tread on, so you almost can’t blame Bioware for not saying jack shit about it, as you don’t want to feed any trolls. But at the same time, when it’s obvious that they can make a nearly identical male character, there’s clearly a reason they’re not putting that same kind of effort into their females.

1

Scam Email Grammar

Usually when I send emails, I spell the multi-syllable words incorrectly and use grammar that’s about as fucked as a friction-burnt Fleshlight. But that’s my own bugaboo to deal with, and has little-to-no bearing on the world of scam email.

The odds of you having never received a Nigerian scam email are slimmer than Slender Man’s weird dick, which I’ll tell you about sometime if you buy me a few beers. But for the sake of the kids in the audience who are reading this on the wall I inscribe all my articles on and have never received email before, a Nigerian scam email is a poorly worded piece of fuckery that shows up in your inbox claiming to be from some African prince who has millions of dollars tied up in banks overseas, and if you could just help pay some transfer fees, you can keep a buttload of it!

Typically, these emails use terrible grammar and atrocious spelling, not because the person sending you the email is a blithering idiot, but because they need you to be so gullible that you believe a Wakandan prince personally sent you a one-way ticket to being a millionaire, and he typed the message with a greasy turkey leg in his hand while riding a homemade roller coaster.

Most of us can identify a scam email right away. Another subsection of people will be suspicious but interested. And an even smaller division will write back to test the waters. The scammers want nothing to do with any of those people. They want the person who immediately responds with their bank account number in the signature line, because they only want to deal with people who may have mistaken a ham bone for Tony Danza more than once in their lives. So don’t be too proud if you recognize right away that someone sent you a weak as shit attempt at ripping you off; they just didn’t want you to waste their time.

Ian’s Twitter is awesome on purpose. Go look.

Does Troll 2 suck on purpose? Find out for yourself, and go down the rabbit hole of recommendations like Samurai Cop and more!

Read more: http://ift.tt/2gTq5jG

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2AazPyt via Viral News HQ